WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:11.599 Callaroga Shark Media. Hello, I'm Johnnie Mack with your daily comedy news. 2 00:00:11.599 --> 00:00:16.600 I have like a normal head cold, like an old fashioned prehistoric head coold. 3 00:00:16.600 --> 00:00:19.359 It's not COVID. It's just the sniffles. It's weird. I haven't 4 00:00:19.359 --> 00:00:23.879 had one in the twenty twenties. Uh. Hi. The Green Bay Press 5 00:00:23.960 --> 00:00:26.600 Cazette, your home for comedy news. They have a question for you. 6 00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:29.640 Have you heard the one about the legendary comedian who walks in a local comic 7 00:00:29.640 --> 00:00:34.640 book store on a Saturday afternoon. Turns out it's Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry was 8 00:00:34.679 --> 00:00:39.399 out and about before show last weekend. David Powers owns Powers Comics. He 9 00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:41.799 said, was totally out of the blue. I actually liked that it was 10 00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:44.520 out of the blue. He just showed up like a normal customer does, 11 00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:47.560 just walk in. But David was doing well, and then he tried too 12 00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:49.880 hard, and he said, I was a little disappointed he didn't have his 13 00:00:49.920 --> 00:00:53.439 puffy shirt on. David, you tried too hard there to be funny and 14 00:00:53.479 --> 00:00:57.560 you missed. One of the employees at the comic shop is also named Jerry. 15 00:00:58.600 --> 00:01:00.000 Owner David Powers went over to help, but Mountain said, Jerry, 16 00:01:00.119 --> 00:01:03.680 meet Jerry Powers says, that's my favorite part of the entire visit because he 17 00:01:03.719 --> 00:01:07.200 did as Seinfeld as him. Seinfeld said, well, I'm a comic looking 18 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:11.560 for a comic. Jerry apparently said that with that smirk that he has. 19 00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:15.359 It was beautiful. Jerry was looking for a Superman comic book from the nineteen 20 00:01:15.480 --> 00:01:21.439 sixties. Powers knew right away which one Jerry meant, but Powers didn't have 21 00:01:21.480 --> 00:01:25.079 it. Jerry Seinfeld spent about twenty minutes browsing. It was clear that it 22 00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:26.599 was not his first time in a comic book store because he knew to flip 23 00:01:26.599 --> 00:01:30.640 through the back issues of some of the older stuff. Powers said, the 24 00:01:30.680 --> 00:01:34.079 really neat part about me is that Jerry Seinfeld is worth like a billion dollars. 25 00:01:34.159 --> 00:01:37.280 He could easily order any comic book he wants, even the most expensive 26 00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:40.239 one in the world, without a problem. He could have ordered that on 27 00:01:40.280 --> 00:01:42.599 eBay. A lot of the true collectors don't want to go do that. 28 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:46.640 They want to dig. Missus Powers tried to convince mister Powers to get a 29 00:01:46.640 --> 00:01:48.439 photo with Jerry, but he said, I'm not going to do that. 30 00:01:48.519 --> 00:01:49.640 I'm not going to be that guy. I'm just gonna go let him shop 31 00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:53.719 and be a normal person. But missus Powers asked on his behalf, telling 32 00:01:53.760 --> 00:01:57.280 Jerry Seinfelder her husband is the biggest Seinfeld fan she knows. I'm sure Jerry's 33 00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:00.159 never heard that before. And how when a couple first met, he and 34 00:02:00.200 --> 00:02:04.560 his roommate watched the show every night over and over and over. Jerry said, 35 00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:07.080 sure, why not? I bet Jerry that's how he is. Jerry's 36 00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:09.680 exactly who you think he is. By the way, none of that's an 37 00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:15.199 act. Nothing impresses him. His reaction everything is just like huh. Then 38 00:02:15.280 --> 00:02:20.199 Jerry was spotted at the Creamery downtown. He had coffee and had a leisurely 39 00:02:20.360 --> 00:02:24.319 breakfast on a Saturday morning. Owner Scott Van and manager Jim Jansen knew in 40 00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:28.400 advance that Jerry would be dining with them at nine am. Someone from Jerry's 41 00:02:28.400 --> 00:02:31.800 team had called Wednesday to make a reservation for him and his guests. Jansen 42 00:02:31.800 --> 00:02:35.479 said, I think Jerry appreciated his privacy. Obviously. We gave him a 43 00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:37.840 ton of respect as well. We wanted to give him his own space. 44 00:02:38.159 --> 00:02:40.759 Would you even believe that if you own a diner and like I call and 45 00:02:40.759 --> 00:02:46.159 I'm like, yes, I'd like to make a reservation for Jerry Seinfeld Saturday 46 00:02:46.240 --> 00:02:47.800 Morning, would you believe me? No, Well, we're sold. The 47 00:02:47.879 --> 00:02:53.520 creamery has had celebrity guests before, including Green Bay Packers quarterback Jordan Love, 48 00:02:53.599 --> 00:02:55.879 so the staff is well versed in making sure that celebrities can enjoy their time. 49 00:02:55.919 --> 00:03:00.120 They're uninterrupted. Jansen said he was super We were super polite and super 50 00:03:00.120 --> 00:03:04.159 friendly. It was really cool for us to showcase Green Bay and have him 51 00:03:04.159 --> 00:03:07.360 come in for breakfast. Meanwhile, Jerry was on The Today Show and he 52 00:03:07.400 --> 00:03:13.120 said he's in full support of Larry David's attack on Elmo. Hoda said the 53 00:03:13.159 --> 00:03:16.599 attack was said, Jerry said, nah, I enjoyed that. Jennet bush 54 00:03:16.599 --> 00:03:21.240 Hager pushed back and said Elmo's an American treasure, and Jerry said, well, 55 00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:23.919 even Treshre's need a beating once in a while. We're gonna be hearing 56 00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:28.080 a lot from Jerry for the next ten days or so. I've got Jerry 57 00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:31.479 stories in like the next four scripts already. I saw a trailer with Sarah 58 00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:34.960 Cooper. Yes, I'm gonna do the bit, you know, Sarah Cooper. 59 00:03:35.120 --> 00:03:38.479 She used a pantomime to Donald Trump on TikTok. Johnny Mack deals Fair. 60 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:43.080 Sarah looks really good in this. Visually, she looks really good in 61 00:03:43.159 --> 00:03:46.000 this, but that's not what I meant originally. Her acting really comfortable in 62 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:50.280 the role. And I saw a clip of Sarah Cooper on a talk show, 63 00:03:50.599 --> 00:03:54.439 really personable. Camer loves her charismatic. I get it now. Why 64 00:03:54.560 --> 00:03:59.280 Netflix gave her a special off TikTok videos, I don't know, but Sarah 65 00:03:59.280 --> 00:04:02.639 Cooper actually I like it. Looking forward to seeing this movie from Cracked. 66 00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:05.599 Yeah, that's the website. They're right about comedy all the time. I'm 67 00:04:05.639 --> 00:04:09.639 not sure if this is a new thing or where they got it from, 68 00:04:09.879 --> 00:04:15.479 but they're sourcing David Tel here talking about David Tel's Mount Rushmore of Comedy. 69 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:18.120 Again, just could have happened yesterday, it could happened ten years ago. 70 00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:21.839 I'm not sure. Attel says my Mount Rushmore is more of a Supreme Court. 71 00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:27.240 So most people the Mount Rushmore of Comedy would have four people at Tels 72 00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:30.600 has ten. Do you want my Mount Rushmore? I'll just go real quick. 73 00:04:30.839 --> 00:04:33.759 Carlon pryor Johnny Carson Bobo has that? Johnny, you didn't put any 74 00:04:33.800 --> 00:04:40.040 women on it? Okay, Carlin pryor Lucy Bobo. How's that a Tells 75 00:04:40.120 --> 00:04:44.439 list. I should do a whole separate episode about this. So David Tell's 76 00:04:44.439 --> 00:04:47.759 list, I'm not sure if this is the order number one, Dave Chappelle, 77 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:51.199 then Bill Burd, Mitch Hedberg, Richard Jenny, sam Kinison, Bill 78 00:04:51.279 --> 00:04:56.839 Hicks, Great Giraldo, Patrese, O'Neill, Gilbert Godfried, Bob Saget, 79 00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:00.600 you know, all solid comedians. But you know, no Carlin, no 80 00:05:00.680 --> 00:05:03.639 Pryor on there, nobody from earlier. Maybe this is a twenty first century 81 00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:06.800 list. When did Bill Hicks pass away? Though? When did Kinnison pass 82 00:05:06.800 --> 00:05:10.199 away? All right, so it's a post nineteen eighty list. I'll make 83 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:14.079 this easy. You know it's not awful, but I'd have to dive in 84 00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:16.519 and analyze that. Who's on your list? He has Facebook group Daily Comedy 85 00:05:16.519 --> 00:05:21.439 News. Drew Carrey was on after midnight. He clarified some tweets. Apparently 86 00:05:21.519 --> 00:05:26.279 Drew went to the Sphere where it's just sphere with Nova, you know the 87 00:05:26.279 --> 00:05:30.439 place in Vegas YouTube played for months. Drew went to see Fish the band 88 00:05:30.480 --> 00:05:33.360 you know Phih you know what I'm talking about there? Yes, Drew tweeted, 89 00:05:33.439 --> 00:05:35.720 I swear I just talked to God. I would give you all my 90 00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:41.560 money, stick my stuff in a blender, and swear off women parts for 91 00:05:41.560 --> 00:05:44.920 the rest of my life in exchange for this. I had to quite clean 92 00:05:44.959 --> 00:05:46.480 that up. Drew. You're killing me. Man. I was just on 93 00:05:46.519 --> 00:05:49.639 the phone with Apple the other day telling him the show is clean. Can 94 00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:55.199 you remove the explicit mark this next sent It's so dirty. I don't even 95 00:05:55.240 --> 00:05:59.720 know how to clean it up, but I'll try. Drew said the show 96 00:05:59.839 --> 00:06:06.279 was like what it must feel like to be a woman and experience great pleasure. 97 00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:13.000 Has that he used quite vulgar terms there. Taylor Thomlinson had some follow 98 00:06:13.079 --> 00:06:16.160 up questions. Carry explained that the reason he thought Fish was a kids to 99 00:06:16.199 --> 00:06:18.839 the female orgasm was because he went to see the band with a bunch of 100 00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:24.839 women. Oh, Drew, I got to move on. I don't even 101 00:06:24.879 --> 00:06:29.759 have to clean this up. He said. It was like being right on 102 00:06:29.800 --> 00:06:33.720 the brink for four days straight and then right before man, dude, the 103 00:06:33.759 --> 00:06:39.600 good part, an angel comes down Gabriel and he shoots Heroin into your arm. 104 00:06:40.040 --> 00:06:43.399 Wow. That daytime talk show, The Talk When they're wrapping up in 105 00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:47.800 December, but they've decided to add comedians every Friday starting today. They'll do 106 00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:54.040 stand up at the Talk Today's comedian Wendy Liebman. Next week, Preacher Lawson 107 00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:58.040 and Zorna Garg on the tenth, Brad Upton on the seventeenth. Beth Stelling 108 00:06:58.079 --> 00:07:01.600 and Mo Welsh have announced their new podcast. It is called Sweethearts that'll be 109 00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:05.120 out Wednesday, May first. In the new show, the Midwestern born stand 110 00:07:05.199 --> 00:07:10.879 up comedians invite fans to examine life, sweet and sour moments through candy donuts, 111 00:07:10.920 --> 00:07:15.199 cookies, rom coms, love sex, dentistry and much more. Now, 112 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:17.759 what's interesting with the sentence is they didn't put a comma between sex and 113 00:07:17.839 --> 00:07:21.920 dentistry, so I may have misled you. It might actually be candy donuts, 114 00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:26.439 cookies, rom coms, love, sex, dentistry and much more. 115 00:07:26.560 --> 00:07:30.079 I'm not familiar with sex dentistry, but I assume you get drilled. Oh 116 00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:34.319 come on, I slamm that my sex dentistry joke was so good. I 117 00:07:34.439 --> 00:07:39.560 dropped two stories that I'll do tomorrow because I wanted to go out on the 118 00:07:39.639 --> 00:07:43.319 laugh you laugh that was good, and I did that on the Fly Sydney 119 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:46.879 Comedy Festival. So I spent a lot of time trying to pull clips and 120 00:07:46.920 --> 00:07:50.079 I kept clicking on boxes and nobody had any clips except Sarah Keyworth, so 121 00:07:50.120 --> 00:07:54.879 I'll got a little long here. Sarah Keyworth's show is called My Eyes Are 122 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:58.720 Up Here, We Are Told. Sarah Keeworth presents a joyous new show about 123 00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:03.839 family acceptance and a pair of big will not super big losses. In twenty 124 00:08:03.879 --> 00:08:07.800 twenty three, Sarah turned thirty, got diagnosed with ADHD and had top surgery. 125 00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:11.480 But the biggest thing to come out of the year was the revelation that 126 00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:15.519 maybe mom was right all along. Let's listen, I'm at that stage of 127 00:08:15.560 --> 00:08:18.439 life. All of my friends are doing very exciting things, getting engaged, 128 00:08:18.439 --> 00:08:20.879 getting married, having children, things like that. I'm not doing any of 129 00:08:20.920 --> 00:08:22.279 that at the moment, not doing anything. My mom is panicking that she's 130 00:08:22.279 --> 00:08:26.800 never going to have grandchildren, not because I'm gay, but because this is 131 00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:31.639 my job and my brother collects ceramic ducks, so she's she's not sure it's 132 00:08:31.639 --> 00:08:37.000 gonna work out for her. One of my oldest and best friends she got 133 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:41.919 engaged recently and then she and her fiance bought a house. I went round 134 00:08:41.960 --> 00:08:43.240 to have a look at it. She wanted to show me the house, 135 00:08:43.279 --> 00:08:46.360 show me all the rooms, so she was shown me. I don't know 136 00:08:46.399 --> 00:08:48.360 what to make. I'm not very good at that kind of thing. She's 137 00:08:48.360 --> 00:08:52.679 shown. I don't know what you do when an adult shows you their bedroom. 138 00:08:52.919 --> 00:08:56.600 What did you say? I was looking at us, lovely stuff, 139 00:08:56.840 --> 00:09:01.159 very nice. I said, oh, we which side of the bed is 140 00:09:01.200 --> 00:09:03.759 yours? That's what I said, That's what I asked. And she went, 141 00:09:03.799 --> 00:09:07.120 what do you mean? And I said, oh, which side of 142 00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:11.039 the bed is your side of the bed? Which side of the bed do 143 00:09:11.080 --> 00:09:20.360 you sleep on? My friend, I've known her fifteen years. She looked 144 00:09:20.399 --> 00:09:22.519 me full in the face and she said, Oh, we don't have sides. 145 00:09:22.600 --> 00:09:31.039 We just sleep anywhere. So I said, oh, I'm sorry. 146 00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:35.600 What were you talking about? Man? What do you mean? You don't 147 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:37.360 have sides? You go and pick on at random every single night. You've 148 00:09:37.399 --> 00:09:43.320 got no idea what's going to happen. As you're walking upstairs, I was 149 00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:46.879 like, where do you cry? I took a minute to get there, 150 00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:50.559 but very strong, very strong. The Herald from the UK gave it five 151 00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:54.399 stars, presumably out of five, and said achingly funny out on the eight 152 00:09:54.440 --> 00:10:01.159 hundred pound gorilla today. Nick Offerman's American ham meanwhile out of on YouTube at 153 00:10:01.200 --> 00:10:03.879 four Central today. You can do the conversion yourself. Adam Ray's Bigfoot and 154 00:10:03.919 --> 00:10:09.360 Cigarettes. Meanwhile, a little crossover with the Palace Intrigue podcast because it involves 155 00:10:09.399 --> 00:10:11.240 a comedian, Prince William. You know him. He's going to be the 156 00:10:11.279 --> 00:10:13.679 King someday. Diyana's son. You know that guy, the guy that's not 157 00:10:13.720 --> 00:10:18.039 Harry him. He was visiting Saint Michael's school. He was asked by the 158 00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:22.360 students to tell a dad joke. Prince William said, and I don't do 159 00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:24.600 any sort of Prince William impression. I've been asked to produce a dad joke, 160 00:10:24.679 --> 00:10:28.759 so I will channel Jack Whitehall, as most of his jokes are a 161 00:10:28.759 --> 00:10:31.919 bit dad like. He then engage with the children. The future King said, 162 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:37.440 knock knock. The children said, who's there? The future King said, 163 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:41.559 interrupting cow. Do you know how this money goes? As the children 164 00:10:41.600 --> 00:10:48.360 get halfway through interrupting cow, the Prince interrupted them and went moo. The 165 00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:52.879 children giggled. Prince William acknowledged the cheesy nature of the joke and said, 166 00:10:52.919 --> 00:10:54.240 I get a lot of that at home. It's the greatest one I can 167 00:10:54.240 --> 00:10:58.440 think of that's clean and broadcastable. I wonder if Prince William has some Drew 168 00:10:58.519 --> 00:11:05.440 Carrits file on material. Jack Whitehall saw the Prince's comments and responded on X 169 00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:09.240 saying, rinsed by the future King. And that is your comedy news. 170 00:11:09.320 --> 00:11:13.159 If you want to hear some royal stuff, you can download the Palace Intrigue 171 00:11:13.159 --> 00:11:15.759 podcast. We talk about the royal family. It's been a fun week with 172 00:11:15.799 --> 00:11:18.000 Megan Markle's Celebrity Jam. Believe me, that's been a ton of fun. 173 00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:22.159 And we've got the subscription thing up and running. So if you enjoy our 174 00:11:22.279 --> 00:11:26.240 content, this show Palace Intrigue, five good news stories, Monster Sharks and 175 00:11:26.279 --> 00:11:31.399 Dinosaurs, and you want to get commercial free archives and the new episodes commercial 176 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:33.679 free. I'll talk about that in a second. Become a subscriber on Apple 177 00:11:33.799 --> 00:11:39.080 Podcasts just for ninety nine US dollars per month. You could start with a 178 00:11:39.120 --> 00:11:41.360 thirty free day trial so you can try it out, test drive it. 179 00:11:41.399 --> 00:11:43.919 If you get to day twenty nine you're like this sucks, Johnny Mack, 180 00:11:43.960 --> 00:11:48.840 then you don't have to do anything right. It just unsubscribed. So here's 181 00:11:48.879 --> 00:11:52.000 the challenge for me. I can't preschedule the commercial free version, so normally 182 00:11:52.039 --> 00:11:56.320 want I do like right now, it is three twenty four pm on Thursday 183 00:11:56.360 --> 00:12:01.120 afternoon. I'm going to finish recording in like two minutes. I'll edit it. 184 00:12:01.279 --> 00:12:03.919 I will schedule it to deploy at three h five Eastern on Friday morning. 185 00:12:05.320 --> 00:12:07.919 You're now listening to it, but I can't preschedule the commercial free version. 186 00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:11.360 So the best I can do for you on the new episodes is when 187 00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:13.639 I get up in the morning, I'll upload it. I'm usually on the 188 00:12:13.720 --> 00:12:18.480 laptop seven thirty am ish, depending on my trip to the National Donus chain. 189 00:12:18.720 --> 00:12:20.360 So that's the best I can do for now. So I don't want 190 00:12:20.360 --> 00:12:24.200 totally lie to you and be like the new episode's commercial free. The new 191 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:26.200 episode will be commercial free, just not the first four hours. So if 192 00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:30.240 you're up at five am Eastern, don't get mad at me. That's what's 193 00:12:30.240 --> 00:12:33.320 going on here, Just playing all my cards up. If you'd rather support 194 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:37.519 podcasts using value for Value Podcasting two point zero, you can stream SATs in 195 00:12:37.559 --> 00:12:41.120 our direction using Fountain n app or podcast Goop or true Fans. I've been 196 00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:43.240 playing around with all three of those. All week shows now are supposed to 197 00:12:43.279 --> 00:12:46.879 say. Portions of this program may have been created with the assistance of AI. 198 00:12:48.360 --> 00:12:50.759 Now, AI can mean anything as I speak to you right now. 199 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:54.600 I haven't used any AI on today's show, but I will use AI on 200 00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:58.360 the show notes for example. That is the assistance of AI. And I 201 00:12:58.440 --> 00:13:01.279 use a program called the script, and if I misspeak the AI, Johnny 202 00:13:01.320 --> 00:13:05.360 Mack can do a correction. I have used that often. If I misspeak 203 00:13:05.399 --> 00:13:09.039 one word, I replace it. You don't even notice. It sounds like 204 00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:11.080 me. If I use it for more than a few words, it falls 205 00:13:11.080 --> 00:13:13.879 apartment for one word, you never know. So that's the assistance of AI. 206 00:13:15.159 --> 00:13:18.279 Right, Federal Trade Commission, Get off my back. Follow this show 207 00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:22.080 for free on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows. 208 00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:24.960 If you're new, there's a fallo button on your app there present so you 209 00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:28.279 never miss an episode. We do this seven days a week. See you tomorrow.