Callaroga Shark Media. Hello, I'm Johnnie Mack with your daily comedy news.
I have like a normal head cold, like an old fashioned prehistoric head coold.
It's not COVID. It's just the sniffles. It's weird. I haven't
had one in the twenty twenties. Uh. Hi. The Green Bay Press
Cazette, your home for comedy news. They have a question for you.
Have you heard the one about the legendary comedian who walks in a local comic
book store on a Saturday afternoon. Turns out it's Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry was
out and about before show last weekend. David Powers owns Powers Comics. He
said, was totally out of the blue. I actually liked that it was
out of the blue. He just showed up like a normal customer does,
just walk in. But David was doing well, and then he tried too
hard, and he said, I was a little disappointed he didn't have his
puffy shirt on. David, you tried too hard there to be funny and
you missed. One of the employees at the comic shop is also named Jerry.
Owner David Powers went over to help, but Mountain said, Jerry,
meet Jerry Powers says, that's my favorite part of the entire visit because he
did as Seinfeld as him. Seinfeld said, well, I'm a comic looking
for a comic. Jerry apparently said that with that smirk that he has.
It was beautiful. Jerry was looking for a Superman comic book from the nineteen
sixties. Powers knew right away which one Jerry meant, but Powers didn't have
it. Jerry Seinfeld spent about twenty minutes browsing. It was clear that it
was not his first time in a comic book store because he knew to flip
through the back issues of some of the older stuff. Powers said, the
really neat part about me is that Jerry Seinfeld is worth like a billion dollars.
He could easily order any comic book he wants, even the most expensive
one in the world, without a problem. He could have ordered that on
eBay. A lot of the true collectors don't want to go do that.
They want to dig. Missus Powers tried to convince mister Powers to get a
photo with Jerry, but he said, I'm not going to do that.
I'm not going to be that guy. I'm just gonna go let him shop
and be a normal person. But missus Powers asked on his behalf, telling
Jerry Seinfelder her husband is the biggest Seinfeld fan she knows. I'm sure Jerry's
never heard that before. And how when a couple first met, he and
his roommate watched the show every night over and over and over. Jerry said,
sure, why not? I bet Jerry that's how he is. Jerry's
exactly who you think he is. By the way, none of that's an
act. Nothing impresses him. His reaction everything is just like huh. Then
Jerry was spotted at the Creamery downtown. He had coffee and had a leisurely
breakfast on a Saturday morning. Owner Scott Van and manager Jim Jansen knew in
advance that Jerry would be dining with them at nine am. Someone from Jerry's
team had called Wednesday to make a reservation for him and his guests. Jansen
said, I think Jerry appreciated his privacy. Obviously. We gave him a
ton of respect as well. We wanted to give him his own space.
Would you even believe that if you own a diner and like I call and
I'm like, yes, I'd like to make a reservation for Jerry Seinfeld Saturday
Morning, would you believe me? No, Well, we're sold. The
creamery has had celebrity guests before, including Green Bay Packers quarterback Jordan Love,
so the staff is well versed in making sure that celebrities can enjoy their time.
They're uninterrupted. Jansen said he was super We were super polite and super
friendly. It was really cool for us to showcase Green Bay and have him
come in for breakfast. Meanwhile, Jerry was on The Today Show and he
said he's in full support of Larry David's attack on Elmo. Hoda said the
attack was said, Jerry said, nah, I enjoyed that. Jennet bush
Hager pushed back and said Elmo's an American treasure, and Jerry said, well,
even Treshre's need a beating once in a while. We're gonna be hearing
a lot from Jerry for the next ten days or so. I've got Jerry
stories in like the next four scripts already. I saw a trailer with Sarah
Cooper. Yes, I'm gonna do the bit, you know, Sarah Cooper.
She used a pantomime to Donald Trump on TikTok. Johnny Mack deals Fair.
Sarah looks really good in this. Visually, she looks really good in
this, but that's not what I meant originally. Her acting really comfortable in
the role. And I saw a clip of Sarah Cooper on a talk show,
really personable. Camer loves her charismatic. I get it now. Why
Netflix gave her a special off TikTok videos, I don't know, but Sarah
Cooper actually I like it. Looking forward to seeing this movie from Cracked.
Yeah, that's the website. They're right about comedy all the time. I'm
not sure if this is a new thing or where they got it from,
but they're sourcing David Tel here talking about David Tel's Mount Rushmore of Comedy.
Again, just could have happened yesterday, it could happened ten years ago.
I'm not sure. Attel says my Mount Rushmore is more of a Supreme Court.
So most people the Mount Rushmore of Comedy would have four people at Tels
has ten. Do you want my Mount Rushmore? I'll just go real quick.
Carlon pryor Johnny Carson Bobo has that? Johnny, you didn't put any
women on it? Okay, Carlin pryor Lucy Bobo. How's that a Tells
list. I should do a whole separate episode about this. So David Tell's
list, I'm not sure if this is the order number one, Dave Chappelle,
then Bill Burd, Mitch Hedberg, Richard Jenny, sam Kinison, Bill
Hicks, Great Giraldo, Patrese, O'Neill, Gilbert Godfried, Bob Saget,
you know, all solid comedians. But you know, no Carlin, no
Pryor on there, nobody from earlier. Maybe this is a twenty first century
list. When did Bill Hicks pass away? Though? When did Kinnison pass
away? All right, so it's a post nineteen eighty list. I'll make
this easy. You know it's not awful, but I'd have to dive in
and analyze that. Who's on your list? He has Facebook group Daily Comedy
News. Drew Carrey was on after midnight. He clarified some tweets. Apparently
Drew went to the Sphere where it's just sphere with Nova, you know the
place in Vegas YouTube played for months. Drew went to see Fish the band
you know Phih you know what I'm talking about there? Yes, Drew tweeted,
I swear I just talked to God. I would give you all my
money, stick my stuff in a blender, and swear off women parts for
the rest of my life in exchange for this. I had to quite clean
that up. Drew. You're killing me. Man. I was just on
the phone with Apple the other day telling him the show is clean. Can
you remove the explicit mark this next sent It's so dirty. I don't even
know how to clean it up, but I'll try. Drew said the show
was like what it must feel like to be a woman and experience great pleasure.
Has that he used quite vulgar terms there. Taylor Thomlinson had some follow
up questions. Carry explained that the reason he thought Fish was a kids to
the female orgasm was because he went to see the band with a bunch of
women. Oh, Drew, I got to move on. I don't even
have to clean this up. He said. It was like being right on
the brink for four days straight and then right before man, dude, the
good part, an angel comes down Gabriel and he shoots Heroin into your arm.
Wow. That daytime talk show, The Talk When they're wrapping up in
December, but they've decided to add comedians every Friday starting today. They'll do
stand up at the Talk Today's comedian Wendy Liebman. Next week, Preacher Lawson
and Zorna Garg on the tenth, Brad Upton on the seventeenth. Beth Stelling
and Mo Welsh have announced their new podcast. It is called Sweethearts that'll be
out Wednesday, May first. In the new show, the Midwestern born stand
up comedians invite fans to examine life, sweet and sour moments through candy donuts,
cookies, rom coms, love sex, dentistry and much more. Now,
what's interesting with the sentence is they didn't put a comma between sex and
dentistry, so I may have misled you. It might actually be candy donuts,
cookies, rom coms, love, sex, dentistry and much more.
I'm not familiar with sex dentistry, but I assume you get drilled. Oh
come on, I slamm that my sex dentistry joke was so good. I
dropped two stories that I'll do tomorrow because I wanted to go out on the
laugh you laugh that was good, and I did that on the Fly Sydney
Comedy Festival. So I spent a lot of time trying to pull clips and
I kept clicking on boxes and nobody had any clips except Sarah Keyworth, so
I'll got a little long here. Sarah Keyworth's show is called My Eyes Are
Up Here, We Are Told. Sarah Keeworth presents a joyous new show about
family acceptance and a pair of big will not super big losses. In twenty
twenty three, Sarah turned thirty, got diagnosed with ADHD and had top surgery.
But the biggest thing to come out of the year was the revelation that
maybe mom was right all along. Let's listen, I'm at that stage of
life. All of my friends are doing very exciting things, getting engaged,
getting married, having children, things like that. I'm not doing any of
that at the moment, not doing anything. My mom is panicking that she's
never going to have grandchildren, not because I'm gay, but because this is
my job and my brother collects ceramic ducks, so she's she's not sure it's
gonna work out for her. One of my oldest and best friends she got
engaged recently and then she and her fiance bought a house. I went round
to have a look at it. She wanted to show me the house,
show me all the rooms, so she was shown me. I don't know
what to make. I'm not very good at that kind of thing. She's
shown. I don't know what you do when an adult shows you their bedroom.
What did you say? I was looking at us, lovely stuff,
very nice. I said, oh, we which side of the bed is
yours? That's what I said, That's what I asked. And she went,
what do you mean? And I said, oh, which side of
the bed is your side of the bed? Which side of the bed do
you sleep on? My friend, I've known her fifteen years. She looked
me full in the face and she said, Oh, we don't have sides.
We just sleep anywhere. So I said, oh, I'm sorry.
What were you talking about? Man? What do you mean? You don't
have sides? You go and pick on at random every single night. You've
got no idea what's going to happen. As you're walking upstairs, I was
like, where do you cry? I took a minute to get there,
but very strong, very strong. The Herald from the UK gave it five
stars, presumably out of five, and said achingly funny out on the eight
hundred pound gorilla today. Nick Offerman's American ham meanwhile out of on YouTube at
four Central today. You can do the conversion yourself. Adam Ray's Bigfoot and
Cigarettes. Meanwhile, a little crossover with the Palace Intrigue podcast because it involves
a comedian, Prince William. You know him. He's going to be the
King someday. Diyana's son. You know that guy, the guy that's not
Harry him. He was visiting Saint Michael's school. He was asked by the
students to tell a dad joke. Prince William said, and I don't do
any sort of Prince William impression. I've been asked to produce a dad joke,
so I will channel Jack Whitehall, as most of his jokes are a
bit dad like. He then engage with the children. The future King said,
knock knock. The children said, who's there? The future King said,
interrupting cow. Do you know how this money goes? As the children
get halfway through interrupting cow, the Prince interrupted them and went moo. The
children giggled. Prince William acknowledged the cheesy nature of the joke and said,
I get a lot of that at home. It's the greatest one I can
think of that's clean and broadcastable. I wonder if Prince William has some Drew
Carrits file on material. Jack Whitehall saw the Prince's comments and responded on X
saying, rinsed by the future King. And that is your comedy news.
If you want to hear some royal stuff, you can download the Palace Intrigue
podcast. We talk about the royal family. It's been a fun week with
Megan Markle's Celebrity Jam. Believe me, that's been a ton of fun.
And we've got the subscription thing up and running. So if you enjoy our
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If you get to day twenty nine you're like this sucks, Johnny Mack,
then you don't have to do anything right. It just unsubscribed. So here's
the challenge for me. I can't preschedule the commercial free version, so normally
want I do like right now, it is three twenty four pm on Thursday
afternoon. I'm going to finish recording in like two minutes. I'll edit it.
I will schedule it to deploy at three h five Eastern on Friday morning.
You're now listening to it, but I can't preschedule the commercial free version.
So the best I can do for you on the new episodes is when
I get up in the morning, I'll upload it. I'm usually on the
laptop seven thirty am ish, depending on my trip to the National Donus chain.
So that's the best I can do for now. So I don't want
totally lie to you and be like the new episode's commercial free. The new
episode will be commercial free, just not the first four hours. So if
you're up at five am Eastern, don't get mad at me. That's what's
going on here, Just playing all my cards up. If you'd rather support
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playing around with all three of those. All week shows now are supposed to
say. Portions of this program may have been created with the assistance of AI.
Now, AI can mean anything as I speak to you right now.
I haven't used any AI on today's show, but I will use AI on
the show notes for example. That is the assistance of AI. And I
use a program called the script, and if I misspeak the AI, Johnny
Mack can do a correction. I have used that often. If I misspeak
one word, I replace it. You don't even notice. It sounds like
me. If I use it for more than a few words, it falls
apartment for one word, you never know. So that's the assistance of AI.
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