Hello, I'm Amanda and I play Gwendolen Evangeline Clute, The Witch of the
Wilds. Could Have Been Heroes is an independent podcast, so please consider joining
us on Patreon and giving us a follow on Instagram and Twitter at cbhpod Enjoy.
The show Could Have Been Heroes is a role playing game podcast where six
old friends adventure as six total strangers who, after missing their shots at destiny,
now get a second chance to make a mess of everything. In the
years after the twentieth Midnight Sages, scholars and historians will discuss, analyze,
and pontificate what brought the disaster down, what let the glorious into the world
at long last. There will be many theories. Many will decide on a
particular horror from the world above and lay the blame for the disaster at its
feet. The hateful leader, the terrible illness, the growing heat. All
wrong, all right, The monsters have always been at the door, and
this is not the first time we have let them in. The Glorious were,
sadly mankind's first creation. Fear, anxiety, hate. We dreamed of
these long before the nobler things the goodness in mankind's nature came and cut through
this gloom with hope and love. But the dark came long before the dawn.
The glorious have always been there, gnawing away at the corner of the
collective psyche. It wasn't one thing that broke the dam. It was the
steady pressure. And not to preach, but from those of us in the
world below who saved our world and now wait to see if a band of
misfits can save our future. The solution to the mess for you will be
the same as it was for us. Sacrifice of the things that make you
comfortable, sacrifice of the way things are for us. It was the heroes
that kept us safe and did our dirty work for us. For you,
I do not know. It is for you to say. And as for
saving our future for us that hope lies within a great tree, a tree
that as it stands, will not germinate, will not grow. To save
this tree and our future and our hope, I scent certain doom. The
tiny creature's hands bleed and sting from where he desperately clutches at the thorns.
For the dierm he climbs poll after painful pole up the side of the terrible
tower. The small round thing ignores its pain, ignores its fear. For
though we know Certain Doom cannot die, he does not know that. He
drags his little body into Harm's way, not to save the world. The
creature is too simple of mind to grasp the gravity. But because he likes
them, thought on thumb, thoughtom the other, they forgave him, and
they made him laugh. The laughing made the aches go away. He loves
them. They made him laugh when he needed to laugh. Certain Doom nears
the top of the tower and he bears a message, a message to correct
a miscalculation on the part of the guild Master and the Herald of Evil.
Both the Master wishes to make another sacrifice to bloom the tree, whether the
nearlys realize the consequences of this or not. But heroism will not grow in
a seed bed of ignorance. The Herald wishes to wear down their will,
break their hearts, to bloom the tree from within sorrow and apathy, an
ugly malformation of its intent. Heroism can only grow in a seed bed of
hope, and he estimates there is not enough hope left. Little Certain Doom
on my behalf carries a simple message that I hope will be enough to tip
the scales. For If the Nearlyes know what they risk, if they know
how the story will end, and they go to that end regardless, then
perhaps perhaps we will see the tree once more. Only in the face of
certain doom will the true hero grow and bloom. The Nearlys have passed their
greatest test. It was no easy feat to refuse the child's offer of a
second chance. At a second chance, they left their friends and allies behind
to face a fearsome foe. They have reached the top of the tower and
push on to the end. Come what may. So that's the appointed time,
end place. And the sound of the downpour like picks up as you
step out onto the expanse. But love it, it has been. Oh
it's so long. Senator had to make sure there wasn't actually something crawling under
his skin, because like you, there could be. Love it, belove
it. It's you, my one and only, my wife, my wife.
I somehow he knows he's being made fun of. Twitches it forever,
just pour at forever. That's all I got, come home and all is
forgiven. All right, Yeah, he's really gross, and I have not
gotten enough death today. So Jesus. I'm just you say the word and
I'm ready to roll initiative. Yeah, my queen, you're uh, you're
bleeding a lot less than the last time I saw you. Bird. Yes,
I have healed from that unfortunate encounter that the two of us. Add
I can fix that and I can fix us. I don't know who you're
performing for. Everyone knows who you really are here. Yeah butt heead awkward.
Let's go home and put an end to all this ugly nones. Who
are you talking to I'm talking to you, lave Alina. I don't know
what do you think has happened? What that little monster put in your mind?
You look at me, Oh, you looked at the bag you're holding,
the bag that's got We're not very happy with you right now, although
you did handle the rest of that encounter quite well. We will be circling
back. Oh I have I have so many things to say. Also,
the necromancer did not sneak away. She was hiding in the rafters of that
room like ready to like unmake Senator if you went fucking bananas on everybody or
whatever. So I have. So there's so much going on behind the scenes
in that last sequence. I can't wait, contingency upon contingency, Why so
cold? So serious? Why so cold? And what you made me?
And I plan to make you into something so much more beautiful? The fuck?
Does that mean? That sounds ominous? There's nothing good for me?
Yeah? That that that would not end well for me. I can't wait
to show you your place in the gallery underneath the castle, my love,
you are going to be a perfect addition. There, there's there's, there's
the man. I know. Yes, let's drop this piece of trash old,
and the world in front of you sort of like moves, and the
rain starts to run down like a panel of glass in front of you,
strangely like there's as if there was a giant window or something that was in
front of you, or maybe a huge mirror, na that stupid lady in
the mirror, And then it spins around and you are standing on a bridge
with a night. The night is ten foot tall, clad in our armor
made of reflective surfaces, and Lavoline is on a different version of the bridge,
just with the hound and her and her husband so initiative here, Oh
no, it's okay, nine five ten, Lizard's flat footed again. I'm
separate from you, right, but we'll still do everything in okay protection purpose,
just to keep it all right? Where'd you go? Val eleven?
All right? The Night of Mirrors goes between Martin and Gwen. So Kingdom
smiles at you and puts his hand on his sword, Shall I, Darren
smile life once more? This must this might be the nicest encounter I've ever
had with you. And then she draws Queen Bebel's sword? Did you do
Beblin? Let's just say I paid a very high price for this. I'm
going to make sure it was worth it. Well, you're soft as as
ever I see. Let's let's see what you've you've picked up on the road.
She just called you soft? I realized, Oh, should I make
allowances for your lack of depth perception? He actually is? Face my cracks
a little? Then, yeah, alright, let's do it. His guard
is ten? Is ten? Seven or higher? Wait? How do you
know what seven or higher? Because Bebbels was also ten and you have little
seven higher for her? Oh wait, or maybe that was Val. This
is a jilty plus persona holy ship that sorry is so brokay, okay,
go ahead, so it's even better? So I need a fivew fuck Okay,
damn, that's that's I don't know. Will. Will didn't have a
great time a credit? Are you sting me? Take this? Oh my
fucking god, I'm so good, just like Kier the people what they want.
I'm sorry, I have to take this second. It's amazing, this
stupid fucking game, I swear to God. So head off. He's just
dead. And how long ago did we start this campaign? It was a
fucking year, over a year. It was like January Jesus Christ. And
you've been waiting for this, this higher time. And now he says,
you're a little soft. Let's see what you've learned out of the car as.
With a flick of the sword, she gouges out his remaining eye,
which goes pure webbing over the fucking bridge and lands on a soldier down below,
the character whose source of power is the mirror, and he's blind.
God, it's so good. Told him i'd fix that. So and you
guys hear it very muffled because it's coming. It's you're in the mirror world,
so you hear. My God, I think she's doing great over there.
You can't, She's okay, well you can kind of see like a
muted, like reversed version of it. He's like clutching his face so much
blood is spraying out of his eyes. The hound. The hound like takes
a few steps back and then goes, ah, just starts cackling maniacally and
puts his shoulder into them side and shoves him right over towards the end edge
of the bridge, where he like slips and slides and like dangles around like
with his heels to the edge of the bridge, and the mirror Knight turns
around and goes, oh, wait, we're supposed to dumb fight. Holy
crap, can you wait here a minute. I'm not supposed to let him
die? Wait all right? So he takes his turn screaming and flailing and
trying to find where Laveline is now that he's been shoved almost off of the
bridge. All right, value up? Can we have another one of those?
Uh? Oh? Do I send them to another place for three rounds
arrows? So you can you're in the mirror world. So in the mirror
world, only the night exists, but the topography is the saying there's still
the bridge and the but the hound, Laveline and the King are kind of
like phased out there like in another dimension, but is going to try to
save that. That's what it's sad You go after the mirror night. Oh
okay, send him to the Margaritaville at the Marvel America. Oh my god,
hey, it's goes Wait you ever spend like five hours at the Cadillac
branch at the America. James Taylor have anything to do with it? James
Taylor is well, wait is that the rick there? You mismirched the good
name of James Taylor. That's okay, James Taylor. I do love James
Taylor though, yes, but James Jimmy Buffett does. It's obnoxious, and
it's fully enclosed, and it's supposed to replicate and Island, and that would
be hell you go. I've seen it from THELD that I have got you
throughout the country. It's like a new heart. So wrap up party at
MLA. All right. So, so Bell, we've decided that vals phasing
arrows. Also he is phased out in the mirror world. And if you
phase him in a phased out world, I have no idea what happened.
He goes to Margaritaville is apparently what happens, he phases, all right,
his guard is uh ten as well pants Yeah, sixteen, all right,
so it hits him. He has a fifty percent magic resistance, So a
roll on D fifty hundred and hit fifty or lower. I don't believe you
cut his eye out. And that, by the way, I'm having it
beat because of the damn it I keep rolling five percentage, right. I
was gonna say, send him to an improv show where he's the only member.
Well, yeah, somewhere better. So now he's at like a sale
at DSW or something. All right, So it still does it still does.
Man, there's ten person resistance, so that gets it down to thirty.
So does thirty damage like a little crack opens up on his shoulder?
Hey wait, I'm talking too many things to deal with right now, and
I pound a size nine and a size twelve anywhere. All right, Martin,
it's your turn, yours, unless you would like to continue this.
These arrows, if they don't hit, do they still count? They get
used up? Yeah? Well that sucks? Well work, does it?
Really? That's also how maybe there is a chance you could recover them under
some circumstances, but not on not now. They fell off of the bridge.
I think Martin is going to try to wrap up. Yeah, I'm
gonna try to like bind his legs. I'm gonna try to do a little
well bind you Nancy. There it is that rope. Yeah, So I'm
gonna try to do that and get them all tossed up in his ankles on
target. Bo boom. Excellent when you say in Circu's voice, isn't it
better to work together? Perfect? Sorry, taking a little nap? Isn't
it better to work together? So creepy? I love it. Yeah,
so I do get a plus six tool bonus crazy that account? Yeah,
indeed, so versus his strength. So your big thick plus six damn Nelie,
that is going to be an eighteen. Okay. So Martin is wrapped
around his uh, around his legs, which causes him to be hobbled,
so he can only move to spaces instead of ice full movement like go with
me. I'm I'm on the job, all right. So that's for a
workman's comp never all right, Martin, So actually just do that again because
he's gonna try to dislodge you. So he starts kicking. So he uses
his offensive action to try to grapple, grapple you loose? Do I still
get my pet waters? All right? That is going to be a twenty
one. You're looking for a twenty This time we're going Drammitch never, I
mean never never. You and I are the same, all right, They're
the same. So then he uses mirror warp, and the mirror dimension twists
and shifts and kaleidoscopes around, and everybody needs to make a warning difficulty for
check or lose some mind who yes, pass passes, lose two, mind
fails, lose fore mind pass. Here goes Martin's mind at zero past threshop.
All right, so the whole world kaleidoscopes around, causing dizzying, harrowing,
vomit inducing pressure on all of your minds. Gwen, you are up
how close a mind of the night? Uh? Like three spaces? You
can get to him if you want to. I don't want to get to
him necessarily, could you, like Barrow, like just trying to like tam
o the Oh yeah, I kind of want to disorient him, Okay,
And so what I'm picturing is ghostly myths, but paying the control toll to
try to get to almost real because I really or you know six or higher,
because what I really want to do is turn it into like a tornado
that's like dust storming all around him and making me very confused and like tripping
him off his balance. It falls off the bridge. So you want to
create like a swirl around him. Have you ever seen light in uh,
like like a bright light hit fog or miss. Yeah, like he's emanating
all those like bright lights and stuff. Tell you don't put your breads on.
Yeah, don't put It's just gonna make it worse. So my manifestation
of this spell is automatic. I have to roll my mutation, and I
am going to pay the control toll to try and get six or all right.
I like your plan on stalling him and hoping that Lavoline kills the king,
like just stalling him. That's pretty cool. That's like, I think
that's a good tactic. What's your roll? Well, because I paid the
control toll, I can bump it up, So I'm bumping it up to
Strange Shapes, which is the next tier. The misgive form two more bizarre
and confusing figures. Any characters of the cast's choice in the zone are rattled,
So I'd like to rattle him, and I want to create like a
hurricane tornado of like the things that have tormented him throughout his lifetime. What
you're gonna have to tell me what you think those are? I think because
he's not gonna care about people that he's killed. If you think back to
a Dreamland's episode from like last summer, yeah, when you encountered Kingdom in
a dream Yeah, and you met his mother very I was gonna say,
I think we're gonna do family, so I want I want mummy in there.
And I think you just saw her eyes looking at you from out of
a mirror. Basically every family member that's affiliated with that woman, I want
it. I don't think you know any of those. But you can't create
those eyes. I'll recreate the eyes and I'm gonna put them on just like
slightly different faces, and they're all that's disgusting, all right, But I
think you have to your percentage check to see if you convince him that it's
real. It better be better, be real. Higher the batter you're looking
for five, he's gotta kill himself, Your majesty, I'm not failing you.
I promise you're promise failing me. No, I won't look at them.
Good your high shame shame, if you'll just jump shop. I'm just
hopping on it all right, Oh man, just do it all right.
It's not a torm, right, and Martin's currently grappling with him. Couldn't
get him off. I couldn't get him off his legs. I'm big and
Martin. So now Martin is like a fucking serpent like around around him.
All right, so you get a big strength bonus and uh and you know
you're bigger, great, all right, laveling. Where is he located?
Because I kind of want to three hundred m oh wow, yeah. I
mean his back is to the edge of the bridge. The railings are,
you know, waist high. And the hound also takes his turn right after
you. So if you want, the two of you look at each other
and want to just like give each other a subtle nod that you will do
it together. And he is swinging his sword like wildly in front of him
like very light and stay back, stay away from me, and he counts,
all right, make an attack roll you're gonna try and uh toss him
off. It's gonna be strength, but you're gonna get a bonus. I
hope. So yeah, why wouldn't I just do winds of Heaven? I
don't know, because he has a high magic resistance. I mean I either
way, I you know, you do get an assist from all right,
let's try it. So you roll. He's gonna put his shoulder in.
That was only nine, all right, so uh nine plus your strength is
oh six oh six plus your strength which is three nine all day, all
right, plus six, so fifteen. So the two of you put your
shoulder into into them and push him up against uh, up against the railing.
But he grabs on and lashes out wildly with his sword, and you
hear the hound go as yes, stabs into the hounds back again and again
and again. Tried eyes, trade eyes, traders to the crowd. He's
like full tilt, like off the wall. All right, val, I'll
just shoot up boring old arrow. Well, you can try your phase arrow
again. No, I don't get those. They're bad. Yeah, I
don't have that memory. When are you going to use this again? You
have like literally there is one more encounter today, Okay, but I'm world
in nineteen out is that crip? Oh my god? It is? Yeah,
So no percentage check needed right, no percentage check zero Literally, I
got zero zero zero? Are you fucking however? It is? But isn't
that good? It's like us epic? Okay, then it's yeah, literally,
I've gotten eighty nine seventy nine ninety. God, that's so rare,
it really is. Yeah, because how often do you roll you know percentage?
I mean you do have more often? Wow, I can't believe you.
One that's fucking crazy. It does sixty damage it. It won't face
him, but it does crack into his face. All right, Martin,
I'll try to put him away from him? All right? Strength check versus
his strength? Does my two of one's come to dragging with rope? Yep?
Okay, twenty two yep? Beating beat him by two? So uh
are you dragging him back into the other are away from the mid part of
the bridge. Now slither of my hand by come slither unlimited god smit power.
I love it. Okay, let's see. I guess he's going to
mirror warp again because that's pretty strong. So he's going to just like let
out a cascade of light which does go into the mist and has a chance
to blind him. So if you would roll a percentage. Check to see
if he blind gets blinded. All right, so the lights refract off of
the mist into his eye and blind him. Bland, right, but do
the next Yeah, I know, I said what I said. I see
it, murmer, all right, all of you need to make warning difficulty
for checks? Do we all do it? Foremind? Oh? Mega?
Alright? Threshold or what's difficulty? Oh it's four. The difficulty is for
you don't need your mind to keep hanging on to a video. I'm at
zero, mind, I lost four? No, I'm at one. Right,
you gain a random madness rolling a six at one so I had six?
Okay, total dissociation. So you gain a two affliction or a two
damage affliction that has a thirty chance at the start of each of your subsequent
turns where you just don't do anything. You just stand like totally like frag
Yeah, I am at negative one, all right, rolling a six five
schizophrenic. All right, So you are fearful, So there is a forty
percent chance when you go to attack an enemy that you do not en gain
the fear and condition instead. And those are two trauma each. God be
okay, and he's gonna try and pitch you off, Martin, So would
you make another string check and do I still get my big bonus? Then
that'll be a twenty three Gosh, she can't he is, all right,
So Martin is fucking holding on for dear life power. All right, Gwen,
I'm going to take this round to empower Todd. Nice. Oh,
here we go, baby, I have to figure out what he turns into.
Oh is Todd? I don't think. I don't think Todd's in the
mirror world. What I don't think Todd's in the mirror world. I think
he was out of the range of it. Because I'm fine, then I'll
summon my crickwood Strider instead. No, but what that means is that I've
done anything. Yeah, it doesn't mean any of it. No, but
what that means is that Todd is outside of the outside of the mirror world
and can affect things on the bridge in the real world. So we could
talk with the Knight and help wobbling. Okay, yeah, then I'll still
empower him. Here we go, baby, Billy goat's gruff. Well,
if you become a goat, I don't know if I want to goat,
goat, goat? Why why are you rooting for goats. So fine,
goat, goat, goat, I'm coming. So you're the clopping of goat
hoofs on the bridge and he uh todd comes running over head down. He's
good. Okay, Now I get to roll a percentage check. I guess
for his attack, for his attack, because you can do slash, pierce,
or crush depending on the animal, rush, crush for goat or rend.
Well, that's ten okay, which gets kicked away? You're familiar is
kicked painfully away from the target of its attack. Damn, we had a
really strong start. Wrong story. But now the goat is then kicked and
flies to and he got one damage, but he'll be back. Oh my
face, my goat face graved up like can I it's actually andy? Yeah.
I want to see if he fails his uh madness check? Are dying.
I guess what I'll do is I will ready thundering words for if Martin
fails his madness check. Awesome. So Senator starts to chant to spell,
holds, holds his position and Laveline the hound is bleeding. His blood is
just spilling out all over the ground. It's making it even slipperier with the
rain like pouring over you. There's as right now. And he grabs onto
one of his legs, bites into a shoulder and goes to hoist help me,
all right, lava, And do you want to try and pitch him
over the edge again? Oh my god, everybody watched her die. Everybody
watched her die. She's not gonna die, her die, her die,
Sorry, everybody watched the roll. Put the pressure on the roll and nine
this time? No six last. Hey, you're going up, you're going
up, Come on, plus the assist. All right, I won't roll
on my random number generator for him this time. Why don't you roll on
for him this time? Why would you say that? Well, so we
can see it here in the middle, you can bring it on yourself and
just like you need do well, he does better than that, all right.
So he shoves the sword through the hound, whose arms old limp,
and he kicks him off the end of the blade, where he goes sliding
out over the over the expanse. This is how it had to go,
This is how it always goes. It had to go this way, aye,
and dem reaches up and like grabs onto your face. There you are,
and is now like grappling onto onto your face, sick, rush him
off you. He's so gross. This gross. So this is my turn.
I will okay, all right, bell, just to mix it up,
all try to stab him. Yeah, this is you know, shame
stabby, stabby, stabby. Okay, his guards ten, all right,
they roll thirteen. Accuracy is fifteen. It is a hit, all right.
Damage damage is eighteen eighteen plus twenty. Why does this one keep stabbing
me? Yeah, just trying to grapple and this one's fucking stamming me over
and over again. All right, So you draw blood for the first time,
You crack through his reflective exterior, and blood starts like his black oil,
starts to flow out of the stab wounds. Hungry badass. All right,
Martin, all right, do I roll my catatonia check first, total
dissociation. You'll probably take your turn if you go. If you go catatonics.
Oh hello, So Martin zoinks out and sir, because you're gonna take
his turn instead. Apple tired, Relax. So uh, you guys got
this right. And I transform into just like a like a beach chair and
watch, so you just turn into a beach chair. Okay, all right,
So there is a chair appears and the Mirror Mad or the Mirror Night
is loose and it is his turn, but Xenator pops his turn in there
with a ready to dig gin. Yeah so thundering words, I'll pay the
control toll. I love it. So that gets all the way up to
empowering roar. All non deaf allies within the spells range gain uplift two for
one round all rolls, and then I'm going you can hear that too.
So if that so, I'm gonna use the hold in awe function of thundering
words. So all characters of your choice within the range having eighty percent chance
to become beguiled by you till the end of turn. All right, chance,
wait just a little. It's not gonna attack my friend of the player.
I don't. I'm not going to turn into a beach chair. I'm
actually going to turn into a red carpet leading right to the port roll out
the red carpet for the Mirror Night. All right, changes his mind as
capricious as he is, because his levels his tongue out, which becomes a
red carpet under under fifty. Right, yeah, all right, you put
the wammie on him. Listen to me night, stay where you are,
okay, okay, that's a good night. Good No, so beguile so
he won't attack you, and he won't move farther away from you. Are
you sure? Night? To quote my favorite Bandero Smith walk this way.
No, I thought it was going to be the Elevator Smith, amazing all.
He is going to use reflective blade to attack Martin slash circus. Will
you make a guard difficulty hate checks? Please? I do love. Let's
do that. That's gonna be a straight two for me. Okay, Well
that does not succeed, and he takes six body damage as you should.
The sword is rammed through you. Okay, not so powerful on now,
are you carpet boy queenww yeah, he probably hasn't felt real pain in a
while. Yeah, this does not rock? All right, Gwen? Well
we kinda hit the old dusty short. Well, so Todd is still a
goat, but he's toppled. How long does that last? He will use
an action to stand himself up on his turn and then he will charge,
then leave him to do his thing. Because he has charge attack, it
is not as bad for him. And while he's doing that, I'm gonna
run up to the night with my club. He does have a huge crush
vulnerability. Gonna run up to him with my hold on. I can keep
holding him in awe until someone makes aggressive action against him. Okay, so
you are going to hold your club and just wait until that effect action.
Yeah. So you're holding the club like, aimed right at his head and
he sees you out of the corner of his eyes, but he can't do
anything. All you have to do is keep listening to my voice and that
club will not smash. Don what are we doing with his voice? Voice?
Just listen to supposed to be a big deal. Your concentration, little
bitching the side of his mouth. That training is to stay in your Yeah,
I'm gonna kill you, all right, maveling, here we go,
baby playing you do it out in the middle of the room, creating.
Oh my god, okay, rolled another sex God damn, just grab him
and jump. Actually, what do I mean? All right, lavelin?
Uh? He puts his sword on your shoulder. Let's clip these wings?
No, all right, we should make a guard difficulty ten ship tag.
Nope. Okay, so that's eight body damage even with the two bonus to
your role. Oh yeah, I rolled in ten, so that got me
to fourteen. So that's sixteen so I'm body broken. Okay, all right,
severed arm, you one of your limbs is no longer working. I
assume you want the left one. Jesus, yes, the world wouldn't thank
you. We should flip a coin. I want to who has coins?
It's fine, nobody has coins anymore. All right, Valve, I think
it's you again. What if I smoked the cigarette of the void? That's
can I choose? Can I? Where would it take me? Where you're
read half? You want to ask your your wizard and your witch what happened.
I think that without having to roll, your witch and your wizard could
tell you that messing around with extra dimensional psychedelics while you are in a void,
while you are in a mirror dimension, could have unforeseen consequences. It's
always worth it. It's the finale. It's time to get everything out of
your inventory that you don't want. It is not it is a is any
action to just smoke a doobie here? Right? You know there's probably like
a non zero chance that this do something non zero chance smoke two joints in
the afternoons. Well maybe if I just think really hard about the mirror realm
and light this void cigarette see what happens. As much fun as stabbing my
notes to see what it does. Cigarette of the Void pourds your mind randomly
into the body of a carecharacter from a random dimension. Anyone, can't you
just choose lovel and then choose top doesn't seem like any king become the king
all right? From a random dimension. So you have to roll to see
what dimension you get. Do you have a dimension table over there? I
happen to have a little dimension table over here, flavor of I only have
eight dimensions selected. Oh no, she's now in Jack Lemon's character in the
parts a full black and white movie. Two is so it's very tall dimensions.
So one the real world, the prime plane, the like the above
ground, the most that would be our dimension to end up and over to
Farry tall prime plane. That's it, that's where we want to make.
That's literally the plane that you're in right now. And how many people are
No, it's not no, you you in the room the king. It's
the closest it's like the closest person the king. So the hound Todd the
King Laveling one two three, four, four, Oh my god, So
what's the king? Two? Are you? Are you not? Are you
gonna? Let's do it, Let's do it. One is the Hound,
two is Todd, Three is the king for three? Oh my god,
oh god, she's doing laps around the table. People, Jesus your robot
moment. It always works to row on an earthly Can we just take a
moment to think about the numbers required for so? I had the table set
up like above below, So the the world world above, the world below,
the world below is is the second one, and then three you get
into like the underworld, and then four is the afterlife and find so it
like gets weirder and weirder as it goes. Okay, so through just a
pretty pretty bonkers pin bull'seye on the on the random table there. When the
cigarette hits, it hits, I can't believe. Okay, yeah, from
our first Dreamlands episode, you got this, uh this cigarette from the dream
version of the host of the Twilight Zone the Twilight Yeah, I annoyed him
and bullied him into giving me a smoke. Basically, I feel like,
who's the name is? Hold On? I'm blanking on his damage of this,
right, Dirk Diggler from you got this cigarette from the host or from
the dream version of the host of the Twilight Zone Rod Sterling. Yes,
anyway, careful where your mind wanders as you take a hit, and you're
just like, i'd know what will happen, Maybe I can break the dimensions
or whatever, And then your mind just goes like out through your ears,
spirals off through the cosmos and pace and do and spears down through the heavens,
through the world above, into the world below, and just right into
the thicken's head and pain, horrible, agonizing, shooting pain. Your eye
has been removed. You can't see anything but red and black and blood pouring
down. And you can hear Lavoline like gritting her teeth and like groaning and
she tries to pitch you up over the edge. You can hear a goat
bleeding for a second. You probably don't know where you are. You think
you're in some hell dimension full of pain and blood. But let's have you
make a cunning check to see if you can pinpoint who you are, where
you are, what's going on, and who are you are? It's me
Becky. Wow. So with being the very very cunning young lady, you
are you put it together right away? Boom, I'm fucking down. I'm
the king, she says, would you say it here? Hold on?
Oh my god, I'm the king so lovely and you here hear that and
you're like, yeah, for too much longer. No, it's me,
No, it's me. I know, I'll cut you out. It's smoked
a cigarette and I ended up in his brain. Avocado avocado. It's meal.
I smoked a cigarette and I ended up in this brain. Avocado avocado.
No you say so, she yelled out. Avocado, that's weird enough
to be true. Great, can you like help me get over this ledge?
Yeah, I'll just stop moving all right, will check? Oh my
avocado avocado? That's your own personal say yeah. I think yeah, it
probably would be a good idea for all of us in the future. Hilarrianna,
just go boneless. I'll do the rest. Go coldless, go full
noodle. Okay, I'm only at a seven before anything. Okay, eat
the rich, yeah, oh double double vengeful, yeah wild Oh yeah,
Okay, that adds twelve to my Okay, twelve plus seven seven is nineteteen.
Okay. I think that it's only right the lovel and should roll it
for him, for them, You're wasting all my good rolls. So she
got a nineteen roll a four? Fuck you yeah, rolls three? Wait
wait wait, hold the die roll I talk. But it would be really
funny if she was just like, okay, and he needed to roll a
six or higher. So fuck yeah, he goes limb. Oh can I
make him say I'm sorry, Laveling? Well, hold on, hold on
nopology he should have. Well, that's pretty I don't know, it's pretty
awesome. Maybe you can like relinquish coming from a metamorph Maybe you can relinquish
control enough so she can see the terror in his eyes. Oh yeah,
you could say. It would be funny if you said, I'm like,
I know, still you? All right, I'm sorry, I'm such a
piece of ship. I'm sorry, I'm such a piece of shipling. It's
really sweet, Oliriana, but I still you. I can't believe you got
into his head. I'm so shook. All right, on Loveling's next turn,
you get to kick over this. I'll op it. It's gonna be
really easy, right because he's like he's on the precipice Olympus. All right,
can you get out of his head? I don't know, shall we
jump jumped to the lovely stern? Delay delayed, delay, and okay this
up after all? Yeah, fuck, it's a twenty though, because I'm
still grappling bulls shitty. But she'd be really easy old fourteen. So I
feel like I did it, yes, yes, yes, wait wait wait
wait wait wait, it's just like you know, you thought that I was
your trophy, but I was your brand. They were all laughing at you.
They knew that you couldn't get anyone, and you earned nothing, and
everything you touched turned to ash. And then he goes, it's still me,
was just lobby, all right. Val. So his turn, he
goes over the edge of the railing of the high bridge of the Briar Tower,
pitches over backwards. Val on your turn. He's still falling when you
evaporate out of his head, back into your mind. But you saw the
tumbling and tumbling, and then his mind comes back to him, and you
all hear as he goes through a cluster of the like tangles of briars around
the Briar Tower, through one of the carnival tents, and then right onto
one of the spires of the lower towers, just skewered, well skewered,
but with enough velocity that as the turret gets wider near the base, it
just blows him, blows him apart. Jesus, Wow, how that feel?
It's pretty good. I'm proud of you. Oh, loveling is like
looking and watch the whole thing. Popcorn, popcorn. I just watched to
go down the mirror nights, uh, like mirror sort of just cracks and
crumbles and dust falls all around you as I hate him over the head as
his anchor to the world disappears. And so now you are all reunited on
the bridge. Woo you good? You did it? Yeah? Fuck,
yeah, he's gone. I gotta Can I get a cloak bandage for my
boy over here? Oh? Yeah, sorry, Well shall we to our
last room? Are you okay? Can you go on? Feeling pretty good?
I feel like she should get like three thousand experience points and level up
insanely right now, right before the boss. You want to level up a
characteristic of your choice? Yes, okay. So over the next sequence,
Laveoline's white plumage is slowly starting to seep through with black, like black feathers
start to replace her own white ones as her vengeance has been fulfilled dope completely.
Oh yeah, you're going full black, maybe with a few white accent
feathers. Oh that makes my baby's little white feather look so much more pure.
It goes with your sword storm. Oh what's what are you doing?
Certain doom is on the it's on the far end of the bridge. Oh,
it's so good to see you, Limm. I don't think he wants
us to go. This cute, little chubby cheek creature comes running over towards
you in the rain, slopping wet, and you see he has a little
book with him that's like attached to his side, and a little staff,
a little walking stick. He comes running over towards you. How he got
here? Who could say? Who could say? What do you got?
What do you got? Dorm is something bad? Back there is? What's
this book? I'm gonna hand this editor because he's good at books. I
can't read the girl. It's a certain doom on the cover and inside it's
a certain doom and lots of different fonts and capitalism in journaling. So you
don't have to worry, your immortal He points at you. Look, we
don't have a choice, and he flips through the pages, and he points
at this grizzled old man with a long mustache and big lamp light eyes.
When each of you make an intellect check, I think so eleven. Oh,
but I get to add assets, Sage, rum human, uh new
our canvas, inquisitive wild kind You got to twenty three weird just the first
one, okay, well twenty plus that is the This is the stage of
stories. With his like the his big like illuminating anyway, yeah, with
his big illuminating spotlight eyes and his like really long mustache that he like dips
the end of the in you know, and uses as all pen or a
brush sometimes. So this is the stage of stories. What certain doom?
What does the stage of stories have to do with this? Eight points at
the stage of stories. You're the stage of stories, Sage. The stories
sent you here, well okay, okay, to tell us to not go
forward. No, but why we have to? He points to another drawing
of this, like you see the white tree. Okay, so we can
die for real in there. We still have to do it. And he
points at the at the tree and then he draws flower, a flower on
it. Thunder, I don't get it. And then thanks man, bye
Applejack's trees growing. Yeah, so thunder. He points to the tree and
there's a flower growing on it. Did someone else die? Did someone new
die? No? Did someone new show up? So time? Oh the
one? But he points to you and then to the tree. Yeah,
yeah, am I gonna die in there and become a tree and turn into
it? He puts his tiny hand on your on your side. Mm hmmm,
are you trying to say that if we go in there, we'll die
and not be resurrected through the tree. It's like eyes go across for a
second. I don't know what was mm hmm. So he makes up to
your hand gestures seems to be implying something about you the tree, the tree
blooming and then everywhere or something like with a big gesture of his hand.
So it's almost like there's more heroes. So if we die, we die
for and no coming back in The tree thrives with or without us. I
can make peace with that. He hands you as bug. And now now
that his like message sending is over, he just wants your autograph. I
sign it. He hands into each of you for autographing. Have a kick
ass summer, my eggs more change, keep in touch. Stay cool,
stay cool. I wish we got to know each other. Oh man,
Yeah, well we all knew. Yeah, I think we know what we're
going into. A certain doom nor yeah, certain doom is right, yeah,
full circle for that's kind of that's kind of part of what this team
signed up for, right everyone, We love you too, but we have
to do this certain Doom or now tell our story. Certain Hey, hey,
here is a little so as you guys go up the stairs, just
stay at the bottom of the stairs. Pumping his little fist up in the
air. Dum duh. All right. So he's trying to tell you something
about the nature of the sacred curse the tree, about how your like protection
is almost up something like that, something about how this is like so his
name becomes a warning like that, this is this is like the end of
your protection. Like I mean, I think he made it as clear as
as he possibly. It doesn't change anything for me. We'd be pretty shitty
heroes if we turn it back now ready, hands in certain take arms and
kind of wizard of OSes certain doom one certain god damn it say it,
mabeling. So I think we're headed towards starting so yeah, Meanwhile below Donor
fell Arbor, Limb Applejack O Tax Applejack fight side by side with Nausey and
Captain Dark and the Gambian. It is a friggin shit show down there.
The tower is shaking and from below you as that battle rages, and the
tower is shaking above you, as another battle comes to a horrifying conclusion.
Above you, there's a thunder. A thunder thunder rolls, white fire blazes,
green thunder reverberates through the sky. I have that water pours down the
stairs. It is just soaked rain, soaked up the bus all of the
stone hollering, all of the stone is so slippery and sliding with water.
And and then you can see blood trickling down the stairs among the water as
you head up to the tippy top of the tower. So it is a
really huge circular space just on the top of the tower with an altar set
in the middle of it, a smaller altars, thirteen of them set around
the sides. And those altars are blazing and have strange scintillating colors coming out
of them, and in each one, a woman is held in suspension by
crackly crystallized magic. So at just before you head out of the alcove of
the stairs. They're a little bit of like white moves on your left side,
and Zarazel the fair sort of peers from around the corner. Hello,
Ah, there you are. It has been quite a day, hasn't it.
Yeah, And she takes a step. She limps out from behind her
Heidi hole, and you can see that her left arm is completely like crackled
and like like necrotized and like cinched up against her chest. Oh, we
don't have time for all of that. Hackett stuck me with a sliver back
during the Battle of Thistleberry Hollow, and I've been trying to keep it at
bay. But I've done a lot of extending myself and I don't have much
longer left. So let's make the best of the time we have left.
Shai. Yeah, I don't know what happened out there. I've been too
weak to try to stick my head up. But the Briar Witch and Rapunzel
have been battling this time, and it just went quiet one way or another.
We have got to stop what's going on at tower top. Let's go
get that diarrhea bit. How do we stop it? You know? We
don't have time. Is there anything you can tell us? We won't be
able to interfere with the young women. They're capsulized in magic and any attempt
to interfere with it will set off a chain reaction. Who knows what could
happen. What we will have to do is either kill the brier Witch herself
and stop her from completing it, or if it is too far gone,
we will have to find a way to break We will have to find a
way to break the chain reaction. This. Let us hope that it does
not come to that. Plan A kill the briar Witch by break the chain
reaction? Do We will have to find the next in the chain reaction,
and that life will have to end. A princess in one of the places
of power will have to die to stop the chain reaction. Any princess,
any royal blooded Yes, swell, let's just hope it doesn't come to that.
But if I should die, I have to tell you how to stop
it. A woman of royal blood must stand in one of the places of
power, and her life must end as the chain reaction reaches her, snuffing
it out. Well, we got two options, Well we have three,
and I would really prefer we try plan A. What's the third option?
Plan A planet is a third option? Oh, you didn't mean we have
three royals. Well, well these princesses right here, maybe we can get
to kill one of the innocents. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's probably
not I can't feel easy for you to say I can't go any other possible
way, so we're all right. Meanwhile, now the brio Witch is more
powerful than any foe you have ever faced. Here's what we must do.
Draw her attention, keep her distracted, and I will try to maneuver myself
into a place to disrupt the center mass of the ritual, and that should
let us get to drop on her. But whatever it takes, hold her
attention. Co done, Glenn's pretty good, Bigles center of attention. I'm
just gonna flash my eight nipples as you work for a little while. At
least it'll work. So as you ascend the stairs higher towards tower top,
you see something very strange on the stairs in front of you. It looks
almost like a water plant or something because the water there's like a river of
water coming down the stairs towards you. And then you see something in the
water and then more of it and more of it, and you realize that
it's hair, long hair that's not gilp on the stairs, and you walk
up over it, and there's more and more in bundles and bundles and bundles
of hair piled in the corners like billowing up over the stairs. You actually
have to like push your way through it. And at the top of tower
top you see that why there's all his hair is that has come loose from
the top of Rapunzel's head where she lays on the center console of the gigantic
altars with the brier witch, bloody and stream like claw streaked and ravaged by
magic, lurching like over the top of her, and like strangling the last
of the life out of her, and like screaming into her on her you
know, like you know already pale like cooling face. Why why do you
make me do this? You never said? Why can't you see only one
what's best for your sound? Imagine who's there? Who's there? The nearly
let her go? She drops the lifeless corpse onto the onto the stones,
where her head like banks off of off the bricks. How many times have
you murdered her? As many as wasn't necessary, and then there is like
a black crackle and everyone needs to roll initiative and the air just becomes toxic
and and hot all around you. Gwen val La Martin, all right,
I think I'm forever young. Everybody make a hoarding Difficulties seven check hoardings on
a twenty right super fail, also fail non natural twenty fail. Okay,
So so successes take only two spirit damage. Fails to take four spirit damage.
Okay, that's all. I can't believe. I haven't had an essence
break yet. Fails get a two trauma agonizing pain? What does that do?
At the start of your turn, you need to make a wheel check
to defy the Briar Witch, and it gets harder the more agonizing pains you
have on you. Okay, so am I going first in this an issue
order? Briar Witch goes first? So she so she Unlicia's a crackling wave
of curse and he's pain that dives into all of your bodies. And then
she sort of appears in a swirl of smoke on a stone like a stone
plinth above you. You have been tracing around my talent, breaking all of
my nicely happened here. You're too light. It's already my own daughter has
completed the thirteenth circle. You're psychotic and you are done? All right,
Gwen? Your turn? All right, diarrhea pants First, I have to
roll that check. Yes, you wish to defy her? All right?
Yeah, so make a D twelve plus your will. Yeah, difficulty is
only two right now? Can I keep talking? So I passed? Pass?
All right, Gwen gets your Gwen gets her turn. What are you
doing? Ben? I am going to summon blood rain and confuse the ship
out of her. Okay, Gwen cracks open the sky and the rain turns
red, blood red. My manifestation is automatic. I have to run on
SMaL mutation. Oh that's a D eight hunt. Oh yeah, you're right
it is. It can't roll so good on that. Well. I wish
I had the other role, but to keep it, I paid the troll
toll. Change in the weather. Your chosen weather does not arrive. Roll
on a four sided one is rained, two is snow, three as frogs
and snails. Four All right, goes a little. It was a little
wiry one, which is just rain. It just starts raining more. Now,
hu it is I mean she is washing blood away, maybe a drenched,
absolutely drench. Is there blood washing away from some of the ritualistic circles
that would be damaging her? The magical reaction has already started, but there
is. I mean, it has impeded. You have created a pretty interesting
head of in here. Now I try. All right, let me see
if I can keep her talking a little bit. Okay, I could talk
as a reaction right, not from uh it makes no sense. Why would
you murder your own daughter for the Queen of Spite's ritual? This is more
more than revenge, more than than letter. This is gervation. She points
like a witchy poo finger down in the ground. This is setting the world
right. You have no idea, no idea. The things that's gone over
the centuries, the eons. We must control them less they consume us all
foum All right? Take five on this arrow. Yes, she has she
has uber magic resistance. So cool. So here's my role to actually take
action. Okay, she has a guard off ten. Yeah, they're all
the same. Well no, so I rolled a ten and my will is
so fifteen for the will. Yeah you're good, alrighty good on that.
Okay, Okay, but you're wrong. What is it? Oh, it's
a one. No, you're out of Graham. It's fine, I'm not
You're I saw it? Wait, no you know I'm not. Yeah,
I saw your computer. You're out of claims you's gonna grab a short and
kill you. Would be funny if you did just grab a sword and like
pull it out with his mouth and swing it around wildly puts his boots.
That's pretty awesome. Actually, all right, you fired the arrow up at
her and she catches it, and you feel the magic from it starting to
like back into your own body. Where where do you go? Where will
you go? Flying from me? And she cracks the arrow and your bow
explodes and splinters from it fly into your skin and pin and pierce you for
another two spirit damage and your bowl is broken. I like with this podcast,
Holy Ship. That was an incredible power move. Alright, take it
back, your bro. Your bowl is repairing it. That's what I thought,
magically. Wait a minute, we're on the last episode, like the
still care Okay, lovel are we still trying to talk? Because I was
gonna attack her with my sword. You can do both? Yeah, I
wasn't. I was all right, I want to I want to attack her
with my sword. Okay, I'm gonna move in and so oh wait,
you have a severed arm affliction? Yeah on a rock a rock. Yeah,
she's like like thirty feet above you. I didn't realize that. So
to leap up to her, however, you have to like parkour, so
we'll give it. You have to make an agility check to creature. Am
I jumping and flapping because you can't just fly? Okay? Agility checks agility
difficulty Okay, difficulty was a four, but it's now a six because it
is deluging out here. Sorry, love babe, Wait, I said,
no, I like it. It's way more dramatic. I actually got it
because I just got up my agility sleep bleep, leap and then you're up
next to her. The blade out, blade swing sings literally out of it,
scabbard war You can I swing on her? Yes, her guard is
ten. Don't roll a one. Really bad things happen when you roll one,
Katie Podcast. I did it. Yeah, I made it. I
thought you which looks similar and I had a little bit of the heart setter.
But all right, the blade slashes out. What are the what are
damage and types? It's Pierce. Okay, twenty five and then how much
how are you going? Oh right, this thing, there's a lot of
damage. I have five powers, okay, fifty damage. Okay, So
you slash out across her wrist and her skin as hard as iron, but
sparks go up and blood disappears into the water that is pouring down out of
the sky. Martin. All right, Well, in an attempt to I
think distract, I am going to assume the form of the dead princess.
Oh shit, wounds and all. Yeah, So that's where I'm gonna it's
all right, all right, So I think you have to say an circ's
voice that you like your style, tye. It always takes a bit to
come back. Hey, I like we're heading with this. This is some
fun up ship. Uh do you want I can get a little extra blood
going. I'm gonna do it. You didn't ask, I'm just gonna do
it. Oh my god. All right, all right, and that's a
pass. So I'm just gonna kind of shamble towards her and just look what
you've done. Look what you've done to me? When will it stop?
Nice? When will stop? Alright? Alright? Persona jack, Oh my
god, that was so creepy. Okayns fucked up, dude, I'm genuinely
scared of it. It's really sweet, but it's such a nice point.
God damn yeh like is a basement. It's like it's just dirty box cardboard.
Okay, what's the let's see? Uh? Can I do erratic?
Sure? I think the performance sold me on the erratic nature and weird.
God, I gotta change that one. It works too. When when are
you gonna change it? You haven't changed it all seasons, But it doesn't
make it so that'll get me to a twenty. Look at the blood,
Look at the blood. Look what you did to me? Alright. Basically,
I'm trying to like channel that very freaky moment in sixth sets goes to
the og what you made me do? M h god so scary. Yeah,
that parts unnerving. Okay, she looks down at you. That is
a very fucked up like that. I respect su spec. You recognized I've
taken some fucked up ships recently. Yeah, we we heard it's cold where
I am. It's very cold. I'm quiet. Oh my god, you're
like that episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? Is that you're up
so can I get to within fifteen squares or her fifteen squares? Yeah?
Four or five feet? Okay, I will move there and get ready to
counter spell. Wooo. Okay, well that's what comes up right now.
She lifts her hands up and sends a wave of agonizing pain out over all
of you. So everyone needs to make a warding check. If Martin or
if Xenator's uh counterspell fails that is Oh wait, it's gonna be a D
twelve D okay, twenty four. Oh all right. So there's a crackle
in the sky as Xenator's magic meets the Briar witches, and suddenly there are
two serpent dragon fanged forces striking at each other in the air. Whoa,
he said, a little bit too, show you how magic is done.
And then her, the serpent that is her spell, opens its jaws and
swallows your counter spell, and your hands like the magic in your hands erupts
and you go flying backwards, slamming into the stone, and your her spell
cuts through your attempt to counter it, and everyone make a warning. Difficulty
six chick, it's getting nastier. Fail two spirit on a fail or two
spirit on any success. Four spirit on a fail. What do you do
when your spirit is no negative one? Put an X on it? Okay,
spirit broken broken and gain agonizing pain already had that. You get another
stack of it, though, snops up to for trauma, and the difficulty
of your wheel check to defy the witch is equal to the trauma number of
agonizing pain, so the will check gets harder as you get more of it.
Right cool, behind her, you see, is her azelle like speaking
towards the center, like the center ruin with Rapunzel's body on it. But
she's hobbling and she's slow, and every once in a while she stops like
he throws up a handful of like splinters and ease and head of blood.
She's going as fat she can, still staying out of sight. Is my
hair still pretty? Oh god? Yeah, you're still now. Since it
is already over, you will let you all have a front row seat to
the beginning of the salvation of the world's lay down your arms and the women
may live. You may live here with me, is my daughters, or
die a true death. I'll take death very well. All right, Okay,
so first I have to roll my fucking warning whatever check it? Oh
yeah, And I have four, I have ten. After they've made it,
are you can act normally? All right, I'm gonna burden lightning her
ass. She is very soaked, yeah, and wetness. Yes, indeed,
so her thirteen warning is down by three. So you're down to ten
ten warning or maybe fourteen four fourteen minus minus ten. Yes, okay,
you only need to get Okay, if that's how you want to say it,
I want to put it that way. Well, no, I don't
want to all right, green lightning crackles. Oh shit, Okay, so
you are the first person to fail to affect her with a spell in around
So now you need to make a warning difficulty five chick. So your green
lightning crackles out, and she catches it on the palms of her hands,
and something in the flow of magic itself bites at you. Pass all right.
So the man the snake made of ether snaps at your face, but
you you like you're you shield your mind from it, and it winds up
just biting into like rock hard. Uh, like rexcesses of your brain and
uh, I see to my delicious she's stupid. I will delight ripping you
off. Amelia Limb from Limb and spirit bat from the spirit botle only if
you can catch him first, flapping around screaming, I can't fly in the
water. I'll turn him into a snake, all right, bell, I
just I don't want her to see Azarzel obviously, so I want to try
drawing her attention, like as far away from a great So you get like
on the opposite side of her, so it's directly to her. Yeah,
like all cloaks whoop over there, I guess, okay, okay, rewind
cloaks whooping upwards, up and directly into her face. Yes, put it
back to his ars, laid up, all right, I'll spend two power.
Fuck yeah, critical hit, no matter what, Yeah, no matter
what I think. So yeah, so the ally within ten spaces makes out
a tackle, I might not be within ten I did move towards her,
okay, So the gem in the ring fizzles and bursts and goes out and
uh yeah, and your tack role is now considered a critical hit. So
give me that them sweet damage numbers, and oh yeah, okay, damage
is eighteen, all right, eighteen, and it is I think also plus
ten because she's human technically. Mm hmmmm hmm. So twenty eight, and
then she's actually also counts as a plant because she's a fire witch. So
that's another five that should have effected, right, wouldn't it appeal her?
Well? I think if I had known that she was made of plant matter,
my manifestation would have been automatic. So thirty two goes up to sixty
four plus what how many power points do you have? Six? You have
six power? All right? Ninety four damage? All right? So that
is a fucking in the blade sinks directly into her face. So she screams
and shut and like grabs onto either side of your neck, like, so
she's sort of grappling and strangling at you as the blade just like sinks into
her and holds there. Do you're now like dangling from her? Oh?
God, think this is gonna work? Yeah, and she unleashes a horrifying
witchy cackle. All right, Lavoline, it is your turn, because I
just to confirm because I thought this is true, and that's why I did
this. Since I have one arm this disabled, I can't use like the
boat, right, Okay, that's what I thought. I'm just making sure
a little late that I was like, yeah, all right, I'm gonna
drives. You're good. Better late than never. Swing that sword? Are
you gonna have used the uh bridget? Yeah? It goes? What does
it go? Chorus? Bridge and opening refrain, opening fridge, chorus and
bridge, I mean chorus And so the singing sword has like four different attacks
that if you do in order, gets you like a big, a big
super finish move. That's right, I know you told me. But what
is her guard? Her guard is ten? Right, so I need to
get four dems. Was higher, but then it was lowered because he was
blinded. Did it all? Right? So that's the fifty again, the
twenty five plus the five power nice oh and damaged types are just pierced.
This is just like this is slash slash salmons fifty yeah, okay, So
Laveline and Val are now slashing and like peppering her with melee attacks from both
sides. It looks like that her counter attacks fire off if you fail on
attacks against her. So just to make note, Martin, all right,
can so if I'm getting the like geography, right, can I move over
to Azarzo and the ruin? Yeah? If you want, I'm gonna go
over there, since I don't think my distraction really is doing much for I
just rolled really high. No, it's fine, It's totally fine. So
I'm gonna just go and tzarzo. Yes it's me, Yes Martin, I
see, yes, I gathered that high mark. She said. The spell
has already started. How what we what? She like put she like staggers
up towards the center room. No, no, no, no, no,
this is I don't it's already. There has to there has to be
a way to stop or reverse it. It's it's begone. The chain reaction
has begne. I only know one way to stop it. Now, what
what do we do? Do we dilute the blood? Can I? No?
No? The blood was just to get it started. Now, the
chain reaction was spiral out through all of these young women here, she says,
pointing at like all of these women in this like strange stasis. Some
of them are butterflies, some of them are young girls. One of them
is like a sweet little piglet who's looking up at you with this like shivering
little face as she's hovering in this this cell. And she goes like this
was a little hoof hand like waves to you. Excuse me, could you
hear me? Pease working on it? There's got to be a way to
stop the chain reaction. That's the one. That's the one way. You
know, life must be snuffed out in the middle of the chain reactions passing.
Someone of royal blood must be inside of the reaction as it happens,
and then that life must snuff out, and that will snuff out the reaction,
which is using their blood to transmit magic down into the bones of the
earth. Well, I'm I'm trans Does my blood count now I'm transformed into
Martin. You are a shape shifter. You are not a You are not
some sort of primordial god that has the ability to actually become different things.
Well about that? What? No, you said that? I did say
anything. Listen, I think that was the thing inside me. But I
think I think sirk. Is that what you just said? A primordial good
god? Did I say? I? I don't. If you have the
ability to actually permanently and and truly transform into a royal blooded princess, then
I suppose. Listen, I read about in Clementine's diary there is a thing
called permamorph. Permamorph that Okay, I'm sorry, didn't mean to laugh at
you. I can try. By the way you hear crackles of magic and
witch laughter in the background. I'll kill you all. You're fucking crazy.
I hate you, all right. I mean, if it's the only chance
we have, it's literally not. You have to friencises with us, you
guys, occupy it. Oh my dude, let me do this. I
think I can. I think I can. I think I can save my
friends. Oh my dude, do it fast. Okay. Meanwhile, uh
xenator like bolts of which frost are hitting the ground behind you. Uh uh.
I'm basically just still laying there after getting rocked for trying to counter her
last spell, and I'm getting pretty little on man, So I'm gonna pop
up clear water potion, blood blood blog and get ready to try to counter
spell again. Okay, all right, she starts her turn pain pain,
Fuck you lady, here you go twenty six one. All right, So
the serpents of their magic crackle against each other and they pressure eye and that
big like fuck off dragonball sea lightning bolt like sphere appears in between them and
then it explodes, But this time it is the Witch that goes hurtling backwards,
and she actually disappears over the edge of the tower like and fly,
you know, flies off into the into the the like obscuring of the rain
and lightning. Oh that hurt just as much as the last one. All
right, Gwen, you can hear her still cackling out there because she can
fly. So so if she is mostly plant matter, yes, correct,
technically I could target her with verdant lightning to make her abundantly grow, and
then it would probably be very cumbersome. Her heart to fly heavy to fly,
and targeting plant matter would be an automatic hit. And all I'd have
to do is roll my pale mutation. All right, let's see it.
I have no fucking idea what would happen with this, but I think I
know how to adjudicate it. To just go ahead, right, Do you
lance out at her with lightning? Like you have to track her as she's
like hurtling around in the store. She's a plant. Plants can the wind,
and you blast out with lightning. And have you decided to switch sides?
It seems very nice nice, indeed, yes, to get bigger.
Well, she should start sprouting all kinds of leaves, yeah, and all
kinds of Suddenly I definitely got numbing again, so I'm losing another mind and
if anyone around me is closed and it's are two spaces, you lose one.
Sorry, but hopefully this will Man, I'm at zero mind. Zero's
okay. Yeah, I'm also at zero mind. Okay. So the two
of you fucking by the way, I just love the image of the two
spellcasters shoulder to shoulder blasting magic, and like, sorry, I'm with you,
Gwen. Alright, and you blast out all right, percentage check to
see if you can entangle her sixty one maybe? All right, So she
is, she's a fucking tumbleweed blowing around. Yeah, all right, Valin
Lava, and she's kind of out of range now at this point. If
you'd like to kind of you're supposed to do, yeah, I'm gonna have
to delay, just hold your attacks. So this tumbleweed of a witch is
pirouetting and spinning around the outside of the tower, still laughing. No,
she stop laughing when she became a tumbleweed. But also her vision is obscured,
so she doesn't see what's going on the center of the tower. With
Martin's turn. I know what you're trying to do. What No, I'm
not trying to do anything. I'm trying to save our friends. No,
you think by doing this you're gonna get rid of me and save your friends.
Well, let me tell you something, bucco. It's only going to
put me to sleep and kill you. That's it. I'll still be around,
I'll just be dormant. So are you sure this is something you really
want to do? It's yeah, it's the only thing I can do.
So czarzel where do I stand right there? Okay, So, after all
these miles and all these tribulations, you've come here to save a princess,
and in fact you're going to turn into her and and be murdered instead.
It's just pretty weird, is all I'm saying. I mean, it means
you can use that facet. You're going to find out just how trippy this
is for me in a minute. It's every young kid's dream, all right,
all right, roll it off. It's one more metamorph check after all
this, all right, turns into a jet ski. That'll be that's the
bonus. Ninety Wow, that seems good. All right. So suddenly you
feel a whole lifetime of pressure and regret, and your hair grows longer and
longer, and you feel a lifetime of trapping, freeing trapping, freeing this
like endless cycle against a battle against this gripping, grasping for force in your
life. And then the physical form has solidified and Azarazel lifts up her like
remaining good hand to your face, just like I remember. And it's like
you can see like she's looking into a mirror. Izaazel is one of the
iterations of Rapunzel's life where she got away, and so she looks at you,
and you can see like it looks like you're an older like version.
You just mirror. They do the mirror thing, just stright perfect. I
just have one guys, I love you all give her hell. And there's
a thump and blood pours out, and there's a pulse underneath him, and
the light of Martin's eyes goes out, and his shape twists and a puddle
falls where he was standing before, and the top of the tower explodes.
You see white missed and white stone and a white tree missing a limb,
like we have a quick vision of that, mm hm, and then the
tree blooms. Here's my question. The white tree is a metaphor for hope
for the future. It's made out of your sacred curses, the nasty things
that came before and the nice things we all hope for, But honestly,
after everything we've seen over the last year and a half, how hopeful are
you really feeling? How much? How much do you how much hope do
you got in the tank left? What like? What runs through you?
What runs through your characters? And I want each of you to take a
piece of scrap paper, secret vote and give me a one through ten on
how much hope you really really think there is? I'm gonna text you,
yeah, do you text me to that It'll be fine? How much hope
you really feel like there is? Or how much you think you can muster
up like in game or like us as peeding life for life in the future.
Yes, I said two things I know all right? So in this
vision, when the white tree blooms, the blossoms are black and white and
red and yellow darken light split right in half. Hmmm, not the outcome
I was hoping for, but something to work with the thing the Herald Servant
Silick turned into proved it was not live even together, Dodo fell nausey,
Captain von dark Arbor and Otax Applejack didn't stand a chance, and it was
not long before it stood above them, triumphant, seething, covered in gore.
Carrick, though, knew the monster well and attacked with terrible fury and
speed, wielding the Brisbane family sword. The monster fell back, wounded,
just as the White Tree bloomed from above, its mighty weight, crushing the
beast, shattering the tower around them. Amid the destruction of the tower,
a dying Isauzel fell alongside the body of Rapunzel, who was also her from
another time, another life. Is Arazel's soul was already quite loose in its
socket, and no one was using Rapunzel's body, so she s lipped inside
magically and awoke among the swirls of long, long flowing hair, just like
she remembered. The world needed one of the damsels to be found alive to
spearhead the search for the others. No one needed to know about her little
switcheroom, did they, And so in following days, the mighty Sorceress Rapunzel
returned, and the spark of the hero quickened all across the lands, brought
by the blooming of the White Tree. She of long hair would lead this
new generation on the search for her lost companions, and more importantly, to
put their beautiful, terrifying, ludicrous world back to rights. Gwendolen Evangeline Clute
of the Avalon Clutes hurtled skyward, higher and higher. Hundreds of dirigible,
the captains, dwellers of cloud cities, and other flying folk would swear that
they had seen a sea cow fly, but few believed them. Gwendolen had
never managed such finesse or control with magic, and so fewer still would believe
the feat she achieved. As the spell cracked at Tower Top, the witch
grabbed hold of the magic for just a moment, and, seeing the fear
in the eyes of the trapped princesses, particularly the small and poorcine Pig Princess,
used that magic to send them safely home. A few moments later,
she realized that she could have used the same magic to send her friends and
herself home safely, but by then the time had passed, and Gwen felt
proud of herself. All the same. Gwen had a heavy frame and a
heavier heart, but in the end, she lived her own way, made
her own rules, and left the world a better place. Her heart grew
lighter and lighter until she found herself sailing off into the sky, above the
clouds, above the troubles, into the space beyond, and off towards the
silvery surface of the mood. Val was tossed high in the sky when the
spell exploded on tower top. As she reached the peak, before she began
to fall, she was weightless, painless, free as a bird, just
like she always wanted. As she fell, her bloody red cloak spread wide
and caught the air, slowing her plummet. The sacred curse was spent,
though, and as she fell it unraveled, leaving half a mile of loose
red thread spinning in the air across the grimwood and beyond. The thread would
be found by young women, small girls, or old crones, and they
would know its significance. The thread will guide lost children to the safe path.
Wrapped around the shafts of weapons used to protect the freedom of the vulnerable,
and sewn into a hundred cloaks, bright and unafraid, the cloak save
Valve from the deadly fall, but not from terrible injury. Her blood pooled
upon the hard stones of a dark clearing. Luckily, her adopted mother,
the Great she Wolf, has a very keen sense of smell, so her
mind rattled by magic and trauma from the fall, Beow begins a new life,
this time among a less carnivorous family raised by wolves. The explosion at
Tower Top was mighty. The Nearlys had survived equally treacherous situations before, but
they had done so under the protection of their sacred curses, and as the
White Tree bloomed, the curses and blessings were used up. Xenator's body was
held together tenuously at best, and the massive explosion blew him to utter pieces.
But his skull, thick by nature and filled to the broom with knowledge,
somehow survived the fall and rolled into a rabbit burrow miles and miles away.
After a few days, Xenator realized that the rabbits were going to be
no help at all. They just stared at him, horrified with their glossy
black eyes. Nearly everything in the Grimwood was magic and could talk, so
it was bad luck, indeed, that he had fallen into the warren of
mundane rabbits. His mind, of course, went to his brother. He
told himself over and over that Carrick had come around, he had joined their
friends in battle, he had saved Doderfell, the good Captain, Nazi Arbor
and Otax. He had to believe it. They were heroes, and heroes
came through In the end. Days turned to weeks turned to months. The
sacred curse did not repair him. It was gone. The rabbits eventually learned
to ignore him. A tiny pink brood was born and snuggled into his beard
for warmth. Digging startled the rabbits as something entered. The den Zenator prepared
to bite viciously to defend the bunnies, but it was only Grisbell, his
familiar still covered in the goon Martin had dissolved into. Grisbell's eyes were wide
and a bit haunted. Apparently he had seen terrible things in Martin's stomach,
but he'd been looking for his wizard all this time. Because our true friends,
especially the small ones, never give up on us. The Swan Maiden
broke her wings in the fall and searched for days among the rubble for her
companions. But when the Queen of Glass heard of her son's death and the
Glass Eyes started appearing in the sky, she realized that even if she found
them, she would only bring them more trouble. She had nowhere to go
and no one to go to. Her heart sank with despair and hopelessness until
she realized Laveline Crest was marked and haunted, but no one would batony at
a simple swan. When a wings had healed, she took flight, wrapped
tight in her cloak of feathers, in an unassuming shape. Weeks later,
a single black feathered swan alighted upon the Pristine Pond and the royal gardens of
the Olmbrian capital. The ground keepers were delighted. Such a rare and beautiful
animal, and it had chosen a place just below the newly returned Princess's window.
Such an auspicious sign and a good omen. The days ahead in the
city were full of cheer and celebration at the return of the royal scion and
the new era for the dynasty. Folks say, this one is there still
when I am the princess gently swimming on peaceful waters. Unfortunately, it seems
Martin has no more story to tell. But when we go we might feel
alone. But if we leave behind love we last. I pushed the stones
and slabs off of us. I was so surprised that we were alive.
It seemed impossible. I kept telling them there were magic butterflies in the branches
that shaved us, set us down, gentle like. But I don't think
anyone believes me. I looked up. I did saw parts of the tower
roll tangled up, crumbling. Where it had been there was a tree,
a big, beautiful tree, glowing white and proud. I could swear some
of the branches they looked like my friends. Some branches looked like heroes I
never met, or who hadn't been born yet. The tree was blooming and
scattering, this glittering into the air. Where it fell, beautiful things bloomed.
When it fell on a person, it changed them. A little bit
fell on my nose, and I am a bit different now. Our gifts.
I bet oh, when they come back, they'll be proud of me,
of all of us. Suited tree woke up. It's been a while
now. I don't actually think we'll see them again, but I'll never forget
them. I'll keep them. I hope you will too. Friends like them
don't come along every day. I made captain in the new Guild. They
made a special badge for me. It fell close to my fur. Everyone
talks a lot about them these days, and how they bloomed the White Tree
and brought Heroes back to the world, and that's all very nice. When
I hear that at the Guildhale, I just smile because I knew them,
knew them for reals. It's also really nice how nobody calls them the Nearlyes
anymore. Yes, I especially like them. Thanks for listening. That Could
Have Been Heroes. Production and editing by Aaron schoenrock theme song by Bo Hoover,
and cover art by me Robert Knutson. Could Have Been Heroes is an
entire early independent podcast, so if you like the show, please subscribe and
review. For exclusive content and hands on far retal access, head to Patreon
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