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your thumb needs to fight Barack Obama. Use your thumb. You are Dova
killer of niggas. I did everything right. I did everything right, and
they lacked me in the sarcophagus with the Night Mother. I don't know what
I I tell you. I've served the Dark Brotherhood for years. I would
I would love to fight Cicero in real life. I would love to No
weapons, no nothing. This me versus Cicero. One person leaves the room
alive. If he kills me, I'll take. If he kills what you
probably will, I'll take the kill, But if I killed Cicero, I
would be enlighten. I would a glowing being would come out the room after
I killed him. You know what's what's really crazy about Skyrim to me is
that, like Skyrim, I've played this shit out of sky Rim on three
sixty in twenty eleven, you know what I mean, Like when it when
it came out, I put I must have put like fucking eighty hours into
it, and then I just sort of stopped, and then I lost that
character. And by the time the remake came out or not remake, but
like the remaster or Skyrim like Ultimate Edition came out on in twenty sixteen or
whatever, I couldn't bring myself to play it because I still remembered a lot
about like my original character there, Like I remember the blades that I had.
I remembered like the mask and the armor that I had, so I
never really I didn't get into it. Then at this point, I think
I've forgotten enough about it. I forgot who the fux this row was even
entirely, so I probably could replace Skyrom and actually enjoy it. Like that's
just is gone. It's out of my memory. I remember that game waits.
I remember that game way too well, Like way I remember the first
I remember the first two hours of that came really really well. I like,
like the first two hours of that game, you're finally yeah, like
the was it the memed to Death carriage intro and then and uh and then
going up to that keep where like there's that one guy with his treasure box
and like that really thin tower that's like half dilapidated. I just I remember
it like really really vividly. But everything after that's gone, like I don't
remember fucking anything. Well, it's time you should just finally just now.
See like me and my friend, we would fucking just grind to her op
and then we can like just whoop anyone's ass like so easily, Like my
friend like on three sixty he fucking nothing, no, no, gauntless nothing
he punched. Uh fucking I'll do. Win to death are so ridiculous.
Yeah, there's just there's so there's I put like seventy five hours in the
starfield already, and like I think, once I'm done with it, I
think I might go back to I think I might try Sky again. He
definitely should might work. I might work my way back back because I never
I never played I played Fall three kind of recently, actually, but but
I want to play I've never played Oblivion. Don't do it. You know
it's fun, but it's very old. You're not even are not going to
enjoy it. Listen, keep in mind that I went back to fucking co
Tour and liked it. That is true, and only and only stopped because
I ran into a game I bogged that broke the game entirely and a lot
of bugs. Oh stop the game period. I got like a couple of
hours into Oblivion, and then I was actually like I'm not sure what I
was supposed to do, and that that actually got a little throw me off
where I was like, wait, I'm actually not one like I'm going in
my the index or whatever, and I'm like, what am I? And
then I just kind of turned it off. I was like, I love
the idea of you being defeated by just sheer confusion. I could have thought
it was a little bit more time just thinking, but I didn't want to
because it's not a new fucking game. But yeah, really really really put
that, really put that into perspective though about like the world that you that
your character lives in like your character is like the hero of this world,
and then like everybody, they just disappears because he just got two cones.
He's just gone. It's like, what happened to the hero of What happened
to the hero of fucking wherever this place is? Fuck everyone in the ass
now, it's like he got he got fucking confused and fucked off. It's
insane oblivion the worse too. So that's so brutal because you're literally fighting day
everywhere. That imagine I'll just leave it. I might or might not.
I own it. I like I have it, yeah, chopping on whenever.
Just same thing with marrow Win. It's like, Okay, I have
it, but there's no there's no way. There's there's no chance in hell,
Like marrow Wind is too far, Like that's like, no way,
no chance in hell? Am I going back to Morrow? Is playing Moro
Wind in twenty twenty? Dude, I know people. I know people fucking
swear. I know people who fucking swear by Morrowind And it's like that is
the most like nostalgia lens ever ever. When people say, man it still
holds up, I'm like, he fucking lying you're you're so lying. I
can't like going back and playing like going back and playing coultor you can have
some fun with it. But if you were to say that all this ship
still holds up as far as like the mechanics and everything, you're just lying.
You can just say, oh, it's a good story, great story.
It is. It's kind of like sucking playing Balder's Gate, where seeing
the you and other people talk about the combat where they're like, it's it's
too hard for them too not hard, but it's it's too much for them
to get into, and but the other aspects of it are great, And
yeah, I told it. It's like, yeah, I get it.
I mean Gate combat or sort of sort of. No, No, that's
original. I mean because the comb is just like Dragon Age. Yeah,
mine, because I'm because culture, the way you build your character is exactly
the same as Balder's Gate. Because that's because of the because of DNDS Old
cultris is the old SR files that D and D use have of right,
Yeah, the only difference is in coaching, you're not waiting for forty minutes
while forty goblins take a really slow turn walking towards you. No, you're
you're just swinging and clashing swords for twenty five minutes and then you're like,
up, I hit him still half time, I still. I don't know.
There's something about it that I just like it where especially nothing I can
go and go take a piss real quick. I'm like, ah shit,
I'll just set my fucking I'll just set I'll set the stage and then fucking
then then I'll just go take a piss and then you know, and then
come back and you're like, oh no. Sometimes sometimes you fuck up and
you you get killed because you were too arrogant to like I got this.
And it's that it's it really is that advantage system, man, that advantage
system, Like really, I just I get it's part of D and D,
but like I really I hate it's super simple. But you have if
you don't play Duns and Dragons, I understanding can confuse you. For me,
it's it's something. It's confusing. It's just that it's it's it's it's
like annoying to do because like when I play like a turn based game,
I can understand turn based games like that's entirely fine. I can play tactic
games and all sorts where it's like, okay, turn, turn, turn
my turn. No, No, it's not. It's like the same because
you have to you have to be even more strategic wards like do you want
to sacrifice your entire turn for moving or setting something up or versus a regular
traditional turn based game, you're just doing moves. Even well even in tactic
cham no, and in tactics games you do set things up. But the
difference is like there's no weird arbitrary advantage system that's deciding at some random level
who on your team decides to go and who doesn't. Well, that's all
about the yeah, right, but that's what I'm talking about. That's what
I'm talking about. It's initiative. It's all D and D stuff, and
I'm like, ah, I don't know this is this it's it's it's just
when I get into a new fight, when I when I get it's not
about it being simple. It's about it being like like the worst. It
would be like if in chess, like I could go twice and then you
could go four times, but then the next time it's different. It's why
what are you doing? Pieces have some things it's so dumb, like in
chess, how a rook can move across the battlefield and a pond can't.
Things do different because the rook, because in Balder's Gate, the rook moves
differently every single time and ever and every one has depending on what it's fighting,
depending on what happens. What happens in Balder's Gate right, because it's
literally the same as then it's a Dragon's fivy. What happens is certain classes
have abilities to move further and faster than others. The rogue, the ranger,
and the barbarian. The ones that can do that, they're the ones
that can always do shit like that. Advantage. It varies like advantage if
someone's knocked down certain people, Like if you have a wolf on your team,
the wolf gets advantaged one of your people's near it. All it takes
is just reading. The thing that's confusing is like the hitting. My ratio
was to be like air quotes real life, where like, no matter how
good you are swinging a sword, something that happened, you can suck up.
That ship's annoying as fuck. I get it. It's really particularly in
the beginning that shit's infuriating. Towards the time where you get this at two,
I don't really miss attacks anymore. I kind of just always hit people
and I always do fresh ship to them after I hit him. Like I
had this this arrow that post people off of high ledges, so I shot
this arrow at some guy. The guy hit another guy and they both fell
off. The legend died and I was like, damn, I didn't even
slow it up. That was just bullshit. But it's it's just meeting.
It's just like, oh, well this does this. It's not about reading.
I just I just don't like getting into a combat thing. And then
shadow Heart can go, and then like fifteen enemies can go, and then
my other two guys can go. It's like, now I don't I don't
respect this at all. I hate this design entirely. I do like say
the arts that I play, when you when you're it's like knowing the and
and like what I was referring to before that like, uh, you kind
of know what you're getting yourself into with if you know the game enough,
like say, for example, like a term base that I play, you
know exactly where your speeds are and then so you know which order your people
are going in every single time, and there's nothing ever different. I don't
mind there being like what you guys say, I understand, Like I personally
don't mind that. What I'm talking about is in a traditional like you said,
you're setting things up, you can skip turns, but you can always
just attack, defend whatever it is. Sometimes, depending on how far the
enemy is, you may just only need to sacrifice your turn by advancing.
And that's the major difference between a traditional RPG and that where you are already
at the battle. You're already the battle has commenced, You're already there.
There's no traveling, there's no traversing, there's just the just the combat that's
there. That's the thing that work. Especially sometimes environment do you guys spoiler
uh for Sweeney, did you uh rescue of everything? Did you rescue my
raven guard or whatever her name is from the yet? Oh? Like,
oh, well, there's this, there's a you know, it's just when
you're when you're racing against environments that should annoys the fuck out of me.
I'm like, like, you know, you know, and act one with
the with the gift Yankee crush ye spoiler alert, where what are we doing?
Running? And you have to like get out of the building before it
falls that part is like it's annoying because like, oh, my character is
not going for some reason. My main character, who is a ranger fucking
rogue was not going, and I was like, yo, this is really
bad because he's the I could dash a movement like triple everybody else's speed,
but I just couldn't move. Let's just say, can you set up can
you set up Overwatch in in ball this yet? Probably? Yeah? I
think? So? What do you mean? Probably? Probably? Now do
you understand what I'm what I mean by that? Like I'm not saying like
the game. I'm saying, like the mechanic, the tactic, like I'll
see what I don't see? Why not? I haven't seen it in any
of any of my characters at all? What do you mean? Blew my
mind? I was like, watch, wait do you that? So?
Over Watch? Overwatch in a tactics in a tactics environment, which is kind
of what Baltersgate tries to be, or I think probably succeeds at in a
lot of ways. Is in its combat anyway, It's a tactics based game
in the sense that it's like it's it's like isometric, it's like turn based
and all that stuff Overwatch is you set up a character to kind of have
this cone of attack for a certain distance so that when other enemies cross it,
they kind of automatically launch into an attack mode, like if you cross
that field of the opportunity of attack, Like if someone that's what opportunity of
attack is if someone passes a certain range. Let's say, if you have
like a grave or a sword, you hit them as they come, or
if you have like an arrow, or if you have like an arrow,
and you're like like you have you set up, you set up, you
set you set up a guy. You set up a guy to like look
want to look after a corridor, and if an enemy goes in, that's
crazy. And the way that you kind of do that is like say there
are some stationary uh not stationary, that's the wrong thing I'm saying. There
are things like your your wall of fire or something where so they say if
they're in a specific threshold that they're going to get damaged, or like say
there's the there's the fireball that you can have in a certain vicinity, so
then when it's if somebody's around there, then you go and suck them up
with it or something that that ball that's on fire, not the actual fire.
I call it the flaming spirit. There you go. Like, so
there's things like that, I would say, but not too perfectly. The
only time is if you if you cross somebody and from behind and then they
try to just you know, take a swipe at you, because like I
don't know, if you've ever advanced, if you've ever tried to move backwards
when you were in front of somebody, then they'll immediately try to take a
swipe at you. Yeah, yeah, dude, I had this is this
is not spoiler, but like, dude, this is escaping something like we're
talking about environmental escaping or something, and there are other people that are actually
on your your helping you, or they're like kind of neutral or whatever,
and they're just stupid and I'm like, I need them to climb this ladder
so we can escape, and then motherfucker's like won't do it, and I've
I don't know if you've had I've restarted the game like i've I've I've saved,
and I'm like, you stupid bitch, you wasted a fucking turn,
and then I had to restart it so I wouldn't waste them. The fact
the only problem I had problem with the Mother's game for this is like my
only actual granper that for real, when you have to save characters that you
can't control in that game, it is the worst thing. That is the
only time I'm like, this game is stupid. This is I hate this
motherfucker. Why would you run toward the harpies Why you're a little boy.
You can't fight them, and that's it. Yeah, that's that's the only
Let's go. I want my second play through, and I'm doing some very
different things and it's cool, man, but I will say there are some
things that I wish they're two. It's too like it's reminded me of Will
Make Damn, it's still too canonical where there's something that I can't do because
this needs to lead somewhere, and it kind of upsets me. I'm like,
damn, I'm hoping I want to do I will. I love when
you can go somewhere in like dark Souls, where you clearly shouldn't be there,
but if you're good enough, you can survive, and that's what I'm
kind of trying to do. You can like skip well yeah, well yeah,
we're getting whatever we got we got a lot to look. Listen,
Paul's gay is gay? Okay, if we're talking about Starfield, you go
on for a while home. No, no, no, I would not
want to talk about Starfield. Actually, I want to talk about the Mexican
aliens. I want to talk about these fucking Mexican aliens, right because Sweeney
hasn't seen that. Sweeney somehow avoided the entire fucking conversation at these Mexican aliens.
I don't even understand how how sick were you? I was pretty sick.
I wasn't on the internet, I was. You weren't even on Twitter,
like scrolling through looking at these Mexican aliens. Dude, I kind of
I kind of wanted to delete my Twitter, man, if I'm me very
honest, I really don't like this app at all, like at all,
slightly. I don't want to have it anymore. I got locked out on
my account this morning. Who'd you tell to die? Dude? Like,
So what happened was so this is real? Right, So I changed my
So I subscribed to Twitter Blue for like one month exactly because I wanted to
post like a really, really long video on Twitter. And that's the only
way you can do it. And I was like, you know, at
eleven dollars, fine, whatever, uh, and then I canceled the renew
thing or whatever. But but I'm like a verified account right now, and
so I changed my profile picture to the to the to the B movie me
from like my most recent nail and just for a joke, because like somebody
was like how many likes for you to change this to your thumbnail or your
picture and I was like, no problem, bro, and I did it,
and then I was only gonna do it for a day and then I
went to go switch it back and it's like, you can't do that,
and I was like what, So I'm stuck as I'm stuck as this this
fucking this disgusting b because apparently what is it? Yeah, your your profile
is under review. No, no new changes are allowed to name and profile
photo during the review period. So that's something that happens with with I guess
check marks in general. It's why check marks always have the same profile picture
or I had the same profile picture for a long time, because if you
change your profile picture, you would lose your verification mark, which is crazy
because that's just less functionality for the fucking app. I thought it was only
if you changed the name. I don't know's the fucking picture? No,
the picture too, so stupid I didn't. Yeah, so I didn't know
that. So I'm stuck as to be but whatever. But so so,
because I changed my picture under the verification, they were like, we're gonna
look up. Uh, you know, we're gonna We're gonna put this guy
under review. So they found like three tweets of mine where I just told
people to kill themselves from like twenty sixteen or whatever, and it's you know,
it's funny though, and it was all it was all. It was
all friends of mine. It was all like Jeff would I would be like,
Jeff, kill yourself or like or something like that. And it's like,
that's so fucking silly. But whatever, I don't care. Stupid as
stupid, but I'm glad that we got to see those dried out Mexican aliens
that look like they got the fucking semen dreamed out of them. Yeah,
it was pretty cool. What I did like about What I did like about
that is seeing there are some pretty prominent people that I follow that were like
on the fence, like, oh, is this really what do you guys,
thinkszy. I'm like, why do you The more followers you get,
just the more retarded you become. I don't get it. That the fast
it's it's the fakest fucking thing I've ever seen, especially if you know.
So, I tweeted this out that, uh, when I would go with
my friend Hey Sousa's house, we every once in a while, he would
just turn on the Mexican news. Got to be some crazy shit happening,
and every once in a while, maybe like a couple of times a year
something, some Mexican authorities, some type of people would have these press conferences
about aliens, and it was as normal as watching there was a Mexican Jerry
Springer Nam Jose Luis and were just it was just as normal as that,
just seeing some dumb shit like oh oh, that's funny. They were talking
about thunderbirds. They found some fucking thunderbirds, like some giant, fucking archaic
birds, and I'm like, this is I was like, Mexico fucking rules
and I just thought that, like people knew about this silly ship that goes
on over there, but Latin Latin American news bro terrible. It's the words
it's it's it's racist, it's belligerent, it's it's nonsensical, bro. Watching
the news with my grandmother. And my grandmother never watched novellas. Is that
for once? She watched one novella. I was like all my children,
but it was for Spanish, all my children. She was like, I
was watching it since I was in Puerto Rico, so like, I have
to still watch this. And she never watched the news. She never watched
any of the Todd officials. She was like, it's always full of ignorance
and I can't stand it. And I'm like, damn, but I would
watch it was it always be some big ass bit showing the weather, and
I'd be like, I have to watch this, man, I don't know
what they were. They were they were fucking they were so good at that
ship. I was like, man, I don't know why, but the
weather. I just really like learning it. I really care. I really
cares, Bro, I don't know why I really care. Doris and Tomaga
they would have fucking West t shirts context contests on the fucking Weather Channel.
It makes no fucking sense, Bro. They would have the largest butts ever
and I would just be sitting there happily rether Be like turn that off.
It was crazy because it was it was pre Brazilian butt lift era man,
pre BBL. When you when you didn't have it was real or not,
you just knew it was royal bro. Now that that crazy, I I
feel when I think about like that we grew up with we lived before that
period, but we we never lived in a period without fake tits. That's
that's I think that that is like what we imagine, like imagine like imagine
a like a like a big titty like Scottish like princess in like seventeen hunt,
you know what I mean. Like that's like there's no doubt, you
know what I mean, either matter it's or like maybe people thought like it's
that's magic, but like the Winger, that's a real thing. People thought
women were witches because they were just hot. Yeah, it's like that's people
were fake man at their beauty because everyone else like fucking goblins and they're like
she's too attractive, Tie an anvil to her legs and throw her in the
lake. That's like there's always just some jealous ass bitches like oh she'd be
she be witched me. Oh like they'll poison their husbands and be like,
oh it was head and like the fucking hot bitch business. That's good stuff.
Man, crazy crazy time. I feel like didn't the Salem witch trous
start that way? In some way? It was like some dumb bitches struck
around. They were making a joke and everybody they were using medicine. They're
doing like hers because they thought they were they thought they were like they were
like some sort of like no, I don't remember some people. There's there's
a girl named Abigail Williams I think was faking sickness or something and saying it
was something. Remember you know first and last names. I'm not even close.
So well. I I man to history. I love history because how
fucking stupid people are. You know, throughout history is lit because you find
out how stupid people are and how smart some people were and they had no
business being not smart at that time. But it's always significantly outweighed by the
stupid. Like it's always like trial by like there's like this many smart people
and they're like this many fucking morons just celebrated, Uh think about celebrated like
a lot of torture that had to do with which is this stuff that the
medieval go over into Europe and then they brought a little bit over it to
the America's but uh, and it kind of brings me to I'm sure you
guys saw that super villain Australian guy with the not five not five head he
has like a tin head, he has like his his forehead is so big.
Yeah. Yeah. The guy who's talking, the guy who's talking about
how like we need to inject more pain and suffering into the workforce, he's
like that guy, Wait, you didn't see this fucking super villain, This
guy that was like, actually, there's this there's this Australian like fucking businessman
who's like he's giving like so, I don't even know if it was It
wasn't a Ted talk exactly, but it was like he was on some kind
of panel talking to like I guess business insiders or something, and he was
talking about how like, yeah, we need unemployment to beach like fifty percent.
We need to cause a lot of paying in the in the economy so
that we can get back to normal. A lot of people think they're lucky
that A lot of people think employee is are lucky to have employees, and
it's the other way around. We gotta kill every every last woman and child
on this It's like it's it's fucking really crazy, Like he might as well
have like a boomerang psythe behind him, Like it's it is, it is
the most outrageous fucking I was like the fact that someone is comfortable enough saying
that to a group full of people means that it's getting too people are getting
too comfortable. Like that guy should be That guy should be deathinitely afraid to
say that stuff, like he should be in like a just world, he
would be terrified to say that shit. That's why I was saying about the
torture. That's what like bring maybe we need to bring back some of this
shit too. Just like when you said the gallow was it a gallow or
guillotine that was pushed up the guillotine, Dude in Puerto Rico, when they
when they when they wheeled the guillotine up to the fucking governors off, look
with the steps and everything, that's the whole gallo is just the head chop
thing. Yeah, you can just you just yeah, wheel the guillotine over
that. See, that's that's awesome. And and immediately with that guy saying
that being so brazen because we all know that they're thinking that shit. I
know there was that guy the same thing with the strikes. It was the
writer strike first, and then one of the dick had said something similar that,
oh, we just need to starve them out and wait till they get
kicked out of their homes and ship and then then they'll save kind of a
thing. And I just keep thinking the same thing, like why are we
not drawing and quartering these people, like we should tie In Australia, what
they should do is they should they should tie each one of his limbs to
a separate kangaroo and just with the kangar start running away and just the force
of their jump would just rip him the shreds. Dude, Dude a time
to post put kangaroo nip on him. So they come there, they could
kick him and kick him against them. He's just on the stump and they're
kicking him. Flatten. What's what's what's What's What's really funny about the concept
of something like kangaroo nip in the sense that of like like this highly attective
drugs specifically for kangaroos, is that kangaroos are built in a way that's human
enough to imagine them doing this like where they're like scratching their necks and they're
like, oh, man, I'm fiending, man, I did that.
Kangaroos exist is disgusting. There's like an off there's like rabbits that had to
evolved in Almo. I can't remember. I think I was talking to I
can't remember who I was talking to you about this. But if you were,
if you lived, if you were the first person doing if you were
the first person to to come in contact with a kangaroo, you would probably
think a demon was was chasing you or something like that. That is not
like a natural looking thing at all. It definitely something everything white didn't if
if if, if the environment was a little bit different in Australia, Australia,
maybe they would have been the first like actual like technical technical Homo sapiens
or something, because it looks like they were they were just just big upright,
they're not. It's just over the japaniculous like everything over there looks like
just looking like their their arms are so fucking like just they're like ripped human
arms. And it's the regiment that they're on makes no sense. You know,
they look what are they because what are they lifting? That's the thing.
It's like like kangaroos strain. They're on their legs, they're hopping around,
they're kicking things to death. What what are they doing that's making their
arms so fucking strong? They are strong. They strong like thee that kangaroo.
It's a classic video of the kangaroo putting the dog in the fucking headlock.
Yeah, that's a dog bro a dog. But that's still the fact,
first of all the fact that it understands how to do that. Other
things that dogs grab. No, cats and dogs don't put other animals in
headlocks. Yeah, because they don't have the arm. The arms don't bend
like that. Dude, even I don't even think I honestly, I don't
even think I've seen a monkey do that. Like I swear to you,
I have put in my headlock and slamming on the floor. I've seen.
I've never seen that. I've seen monkey's I've seen I've seen chimpanzees tossing other
chimpanzee up really high in the air as like as like a bullying ritual.
I've seen that ship and that's also disheartening and scary. But I've seen I
don't know the kangaroo because I can't relate to a kangaroo. I've seen the
apes fighting. One ape was like fishing for something to grab and grabbed the
rock and pung the other one with it, and I was like, yo,
yeah, despiration, desperation led to innovate. That's crazy. I mean,
that's yeah. I mean they're I mean, they're they're they're their relatives.
Man, did you see that thing about in the news about that that
chimp in in Oh my god. It was like in a zoo I think
in Seattle or I don't know, I might have been in Washington State.
I'm not sure it was. It was somewhere Washington. There was a zoo
where in a monkey enclosure. One monkey came back with fucking ten commandments and
started proselytizing to the like he came back with like a slab of rules and
started like and did the rules? What did the rules say? Well,
he was just screaming it unintelligibly. But they found, like monkey ten commandments
is what I'm saying. Oh that's fucking nuts. Yeah, imagine, I
can't believe that it happened. I can't believe God, how do you feel?
Said, how do you feel, honestly? How do you feel honestly
if you were like at a zoo and then you were in the buckey closure.
Then one chip came back with two stones tablets yelling, and then all
the other and then all the other and then all the other monkeys looked up
and stood upright like and got real silent, like how like, what would
how would you feel like? I'd be It'd be funny enough because I don't
know if I can't say this or not, but it'd be like, damn.
The Jewish people made God so mad. He went to monkeys. Bro.
He was like, I tried to save these ones and they didn't listen.
They threw my son to the Romans. Someone's gonna try monkey that's and
I'd be like, ya late crazy, Yeah they did. He did.
He didn't sleep on this ship for quite some time. Yeah, he was
like this failed. Let me just just for two thousand and two thousand and
twenty three years. He's just let me just take them sucking long ass nap.
He was woke up and he's like, yeah, fuck humans. Due
back to the back to the fucking Mexican alien. That's look, I saw
a lot of people being like, is that real? And it was it
was actually concerning to me that that it was that many people, Like it
was more people than I was expecting, because they were like, look at
the X rays and like there's fallopian tubes, and I'm like, what are
you fucking talking? First of all, send this to an actual scientist if
it's so real, don't like just throw it in front of like Mexican Parliament
or wherever, whatever the fuck, whatever the fuck is going on there.
It's a fucking clown show down there. You know how many times aliens have
been on the Mexican news. It's insane. It's actually, it's actually,
I don't think you could. I don't think a single person could count the
amount of times that aliens have been on the Mexican news. Aliens and angels
on Latin American news regularly. Bro. Yeah, yeah, literally, like
it's like, oh, look at this angel, look at this angel caught
on camera, and it's literally, kid, it's it's insane. Yeah,
it was a little weird that that. I I sometimes I always feel like
I'm not surprised how stupid people are, but then sometimes I still end up
being surprised. It's it's like a thing where I'm like, come on,
guys, first surprise, you're surprised at how surprised you were, despite the
fact that you surprise. Surprise shouldn't be I should know this. It's just
like you even talking about the stuff that people some fucking, some fucking dude
that gets up at church and wearing robes and shit tells people these stupidest stories
that make not a lick of sense, and then people are like, I'm
not I'm not getting no more. I'm delivered. I'm delivered. Yeah.
Yeah. Like I'm like, we have so much evidence of how silly people
are, but still still sometimes where I feel like we should all come together
and be like, oh, well this is obviously bullshit. You all right,
just like let's have it, just have a good laugh. But then
there's people questioning it, and I'm like, what happened? You need people,
You need dumb people around so they can do it. We need yes,
we do you do you do? Hey? Don't run? I really
do. We have machines for that, man. We got machines. Now
we can bully machine needs dumb people. You need dumb people. We need
Boston Dynamics. And then all the dumb people can they can go away,
they can leave. We need them. We need, we need people that
are You're right. We need them from Mars. We need we need,
we need them to have around so it's in case when when war starts against
the machines, we have them to go first. We need. We need
them around to test all of our drugs and I gotta help us live longer
because they don't know what if they're getting to set up for the don't know
what kind of shit they're gonna get. We need them around to lift heavier
things because he knows. If they're dumb, their inhibitors are. So I
love that it's I love that it's a mummified alien. Like it's a mummified
it's an alien. It's an alien from kind of advanced I'm fature we learned
it from something else? How is it mummified? Though? Like that's what
I want to know. That's what I mean. Is there an explanation?
I didn't know? It's just like, did you see that video? Do
you see that video of them placing the placing the alien down on the table.
Yeah, and it's so fucking tiny. That's that's the thing that like
really got me where. I'm like, they made them so small, like,
come on, man, like I would believe it. I would honestly
be a lot more inclined to believe it if it was just, I don't
know, five foot, you know, even if if it was five foot,
I'd be like, that's, first of all, that's a big project
for a single person to undergo. So like, but like that, like
I I know, jack shit about like arts and crafts or whatever. I
could build that Mexican mummy. I'm I could do that, Like I could
do that today probably, like I'd go to color me mine and have it
done in fucking three hours. It was very lazy in my opinion. Dude.
There's right now, right now a video going viral. Somebody made a
cake of that alien and it is a good three foot to four foot cake.
They did up. They put more time and effort into baking that cake
than the asshole did the throwing that ship together. It's a it's a really
good cake, man, it looks good. I was like, man,
I actually want a piece of that shit. That sounds awesome. Mexican Mexican
alien cake. It's pretty I love when people do that where it's like it
looks like some realistic thing. Then they cut into it and I'm like,
oh, I like that. That's so fucking ridiculous. What the hell that's
so fucking awesome? Is it real or is it cake? It's come Yeah,
that's really convincing. There's a video of them cut there's a video of
them cutting into the cake and everything, and it looks exactly like the fucking
Mexican alien. I was like, I was like, dude, I bet
you whoever made that cake spent more time with the cake then those dickheads did
with together. Yeah, it does look delicious too. Like I'm not a
cake guy at all. I'm not a cake man even slightly, but this
looks pretty fucking good. I love cake, and I just have a I
in my late twenties or maybe thirties, I'm not even sure, but I
developed a food sensitivity to eggs, and it is. It's the it's the
worst. As a guy that would eat eggs all the fun, like because
there's eggs in like everything, Dude, eggs are great, and now like
when I eat it, I get the worst fucking because I don't have like
an allergic reaction. It's just like a sensitivity to where I get the worst
heart burned. And it took me a while to figure it out. It
started to narrow down what I would eat because I used to. I used
to be like a breakfast brito guy tizo and eggs coat the chicken. I
would make, you know, what the you know, like the eggs and
everything the fried rice had like, And then I started figure it out.
I was like, it's fucking eggs, dude. It broke my heart because
sometimes that's really heartbreaking, Like if I is there nothing you can take for
that? Is there? Like No, I looked it up because I thought
the same thing, like, oh, you know, you just if you
lack the enzymes to break down lactoast, you can get those pills. Yeah.
No, I found nothing for that. They're just like get fake eggs.
There's this vegan egg shit and it smells when you open it. It
smells so fucking gross that I'm like, Yo, couldn't signs just make this
smell like eggs, you fucking pieces of shit? So like it has the
consistency of eggs when you cook it but it ain't egg, and so Jojo
bought it a couple of times. I'm like, God, that's cool,
but nah, the only thing I haven't tried yet is maybe it's specifically just
a yolk, so I just need to Uh. I haven't got around to
it because I'm I'm just I'm already mad that like, most likely I'm probably
gonna be sensitive to the to the white two and I just don't want to
get more disappointed. Ye, But yeah, that's that's that's that's rough.
That would be rough on me because I'm like a big I'm like a big
egg sandwich guy. Yeah, Like I'm like, I need my bacon,
egg and cheese, man like eggs are great. Man Like, yeah,
I fucking last time I hung out with my mom, we had the croissants
and I had to take the fucking egg out. Like it's like bacon bacon
eggs. I'm like, I just had bacon in it. That's so rough.
What's it? What's your guy's stance on BLTs? Amazing? Really amazing.
I don't personally a nice chicken petty on it. No, that's exactly
my point. I don't especially bacon enough meat to be like a protein for
the sandwich or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, it's entirely it's it's it's an
additive. Yeah, it's like it's like a bacon. It is like a
seasoning meat almost where it's like to the point where it's like where it's like
this is you put on you put this on other meat or like other things
to kind of give them definition. But you can't just have like I have.
I don't like how a lot of breakfast places they compare bacon to sausage,
where it's like do you want baker and you want sausage? And my
thing is I'm like, fuck, well I want both, bitch. Yeah,
like then saying I'm so glad you said that, because I I felt
the exact same way for someone. I was like, why the fuck are
you gonna be the option between these two things that aren't even equivalent to each
other? Yes, just let me have both of them, because that's what
I usually do. I usually go like, you know, let me get
bacon. Can I get a side of sausage? Yeah? But then it's
like, it's fucking crazy that I have to make that distinction. Yeah,
dude, that's that's the old that's the right call. That is it right
there? And it's it's they've been cheating us for so long that I'm like,
how dare you say these two little slithers of bacon? It's two,
It's always two fucking paltry slithers of bacon too. It's like, you can't
even give me four at least exactly at least like make it worth my fucking
while four pieces. If you're gonna give me just this fucking thing, it's
it's fucking weird. I don't imagine if something like you imagine somebody gave you,
Imagine somebody gave you kins and kins and kings and Kinston. Imagine somebody
gave you a hot dog bun and put bacon in it, and that was
it. Two a bacon going on? Yeah, dude, that's insane.
Isn't that fucking insane? Like? What the fuck is this? Where's the
where's the actual where's the country? Where is the met where's the fuck me?
Bro? Damn? That's I feel like we can change the word with
this one. We gotta make this, make this go viral. We have
to we have to ban the BLT, we have to kill the b love
it. It's a little it's a little bit, A little bit, A
little bit. It's a little bit of a little bit. It's like I
have never had a belt and felt like I ate something like it's so bizarre,
like how I like, I feel more hungry after the BLT than I
do fucking before it. And it makes no sense. It's using sandwich.
It's barely a sandwich. Man, It was the last time you had a
belt? U ever had one? But the last time I had a belt
was I remember it was twenty twelve. I remember I made myself a BLT
because it was the only ingredients that we had. And I remember because it
was like it was like a very specific semester in college that I really really
remember, and I had it and I couldn't fucking believe how nothing it felt
like, it's Kingston, that's a that's a chicken sandwich. Well, that's
a chicken chicken club, the chicken chicken club. It's not a club.
It's not a chicken chicken belt. Kill yourself. Chicken beal is not a
club. Oh my god, there's no such chak as a chicken belt,
because a chicken mealt is just a chicken sandwich. No, it's a chicken
they exist. What do you mean? I'm folling me this. Look up.
They exist. They literally exist. How you're telling I've ordered them?
They're like my favorite sandwich to or kin kin kinksen if if if I got
chicken in my in my bacon egg and cheese, would you call it a
chicken bacon, egg and cheese, a bacon, egg and cheese with chicken.
Yeah, it's literally the same as them. You got chicken sandwich,
you got a cheese pizza with pepperoni. Yeah, it's fucking because the belt
parts don't. It's a it's a chicken sandwich. You're right, but like,
what kind of chicken sen would you want? Like, oh me,
get a chicken belt? Like, yeah, that's how you define it.
That's more definition to it. No, it's more it's it's more descriptive,
but it's not actually what it's like. It's it's a chicken sandwich. Is
that's a chicken sandwich? Yeah, like what you're described. So I just
looked up so chicken belt sandwich, chicken belt sandwich, grilled chicken belt sandwich,
chicken belty sandwich, chicken bealty. Not people, bunch of you guys
are that's Mexican alien. Look look right now, right now, I'm not
admitting that a chicken is a chicken sandwich. You are right, but you
guys are out here trying to tell me that it is not called the chicken
belt, which is actually fucking ridiculous. It's a chicken fucking sand It's a
chicken sandwich, it's a chicken belt. It's okay. Look look, hey,
hey, with McDonald's, when you get a chicken blt, why is
it not called the chicken belt and it's just a McDonald's are you talking about
they do? It's a deluxe. When you get a deluxe chicken fucking extra
sh it on it. You can get lettuce and tomato on your chicken sandwich.
But it's just a deluxe, just like a Chick fil a. But
it don't call it. It doesn't come with bacon on it. The bl
part isn't if you can, I've ordered it before, they might have ordered
it, like can I get bacon also, and it's like, oh yeah,
cool, it's an option. Look at their menu. They have the
basic chicken sand with pickles on it, and then they have the one where
they put fucking everything on it. They don't put bacon on it. Naturally
you have to ask for bacon as well. No, they don't. I
mean I mean what literally literally when it has you call them chicken, Yes,
I know cheese. Chicken doesn't come with bacon. Let us a tomato
here, because a crispy sorry Chris Pinson Kinson, if I have a let
me just sim simplest argument that I can think to us. All right,
let me say, Let's say I get a bacon, cheese, a bacon
burger, right, just a bacon hamburger, right, what is it?
What does a hamburger have? Hamburger has? Let us let us tomato,
tomato, mao and onions. Well okay, well hold on, hold on,
that's what a burger has. I mean it could, yes, but
like you could order a burger right the corn greens have a burger by the
way, or let us and tomato and meat and and maybe cheese like that,
Like the onion doesn't need to be there onions if you want onions or
not, because onion comes on I like onions. I like, I'm just
saying, like the generalize if you drew a burger, if you drew a
burger, like if you drew one or like saw one in a cartoon.
It's always it's it's always let us tomato and meat, like it's always what
I would say, onions was there too, But continue, I've never no,
no, yes, kidsinue, all right, whatever, whatever, you're
free to be wrong is a burger if thanks for helping me, you dummy,
you dumb dumb didn't if you just if you just look it up right
now, if you look at that picture of onions patty, they don't have
onions on it. I'm sure they probably do. Chris in Lore they do
Chris. They literally literally they don't. They don't look burger. You don't
even see see the tomato on it. Naturally if you look like, oh
my god, even like the famous the famous picture of the real crabby Patty
from that from that episode, where it is literally bread, tomato, lettuce,
cheese and meat. That's it, you fucking it literally has literally has
onion on it. Oh my god, I'm sure in Lord there's been.
If you look at the vault of crabby Patties, look at the Chris Chris,
are you fucking Chris. I'm gonna be real now, I'm gonna I'm
gonna stopt. Are you fucking retarded, my nigga, you're looking at it.
There's literally an onion on top of the fucking tomato. You actual chimp,
you, you actual numble drup. It's literally right there, it's on
the Chris, It's literally. It's not it's literally because it's right there,
because I'm looking at it now. It's not, Christopher, Christopher, I'm
staring at it. You are blind my image. It's with the real crabby
Patty. When it's right, it's literally an onion on top of the tomato.
I'll show you a regular picture of a stack krabby patty as the article
that you linked. So it has been I'm staring at it, Chris,
it's right. The right opens up just fine for me. Oh yeah yeah,
No, like this Metro UK is actually a perfect example. There's no
there's no onion on it. And then go to the vault with the crabby
Patty where there's a vault often screen listen. I need to I need to
show I'm gonna let you. I just gonna I need to show Sweeney that
he is incorrect about this because I'm gonna take a screenshot of just an average
carabre pad and it's you only either see tomato in it or you know tomato,
it's just lettuce and cheese like that is that is this is the side
of the point. You just see lettuce. The image of the side the
episode that Chris just told me that I was wrong about literally has an onion.
You are incorrect. I'm scaring because that's not the point. That's not
the fucking point. The point is if I get a burger, if I
get a burger with lettuce, tomato, bacon, and meat, that is
not a fucking BLT. No, it's not. It's a burger. Why
why why why is it not a ble take? Because why is it not
a blake? Is a burger? It's a burger because it's a burger,
because a BLT, Because because a BLT. What necessitates a BLT is that
it's bacon, lettuce, tomato, and that's it. That's like the people
who say, like, oh, let's be let me grilled cheese sandwich with
with fucking all this extra Like, no, no, that's not what a
grill cheese sucking sandwiches. That a grilled cheese sandwich is literally, yes,
bread and cheese, you have, that's what it's sandwich. Foremost a burger
at that moment usually comes on a burger patty, and then even by itself,
it would just be a it was, it's a burger. I agree
with you on that. I agree that a chicken belt is also a chicken
sandwich. But when you're gonna order, you don't order a chicken sandwich.
Would let us tomato and bacon. No, you're like, oh, can
I just get a chicken belt? No you don't. You just too It
doesn't even have restaurants. The restaurants. I'm just look, man, whatever,
No you can't like this. Motherfuckerence will do it. Guys. I'm
not even disagreeing with you, but the fact that you guys are like,
no, you don't order like that. Yes, I've never seen anybody,
Yo, can I get a chicken sandwich? Like? Yeah, what you
want on it? Can I get? You shouldn't say it just coming.
Everybody says it was literally everybody mayo with like lettuce on it, maybe pickled
or something like that. But you're like, hey, there's always a chicken
blt sandwich. That's a thing. That is a thing. I've never seen
that in my life. That is never That is crazy. I've looked up.
Give me an example of a restaurant where you've walked in You're like,
give me the chicken blt. You're probably not gonna know this. Uh remember
the exact name. Do you remember? Bullshit, Chris? Do you remember
the the sandwich place next to dragons then and PK Spice It might not be
there anymore, Sugar Spice Cafe. Literally, I would always get after I'd
play Yugyo. This is fourteen, fifteen year old Kinson. I'd play Yugo
and then I would get a chicken BLT sandwich afterwards, every time, every
sing And that's what you would that's what you tell on the menu. Yes,
so you have on the menu. You have chicken was on the menu.
Yes, it would have this one example that we can't verify. They
would they would have like here here's what I believe. Here's here's what I
believe. Here's what I believe. I believe that you knew these people well
enough that they were willing to make whatever fucking god sandwich and they understood what
and they understand and they understood what you meant by chicken belt because it's obvious
what it means. But it's crazy that that's just such a crazy fucking It's
not a belt anymore. It's just a fucking chicken sandwich. It's chicken.
It is no such thing as a belt with anything else, because the second
anything else is added with belt, it becomes something else. It like in
the beginning of both like you would you ever say, hey, can I
get a cheese pizza with sausage and pepperoni? And like they will get you
Like what do you what are you say? Can say that? Why not
just get a fucking sauces and pepperoni pizzas cheese pizza you're talking about? Yes,
you wouldn't call it that normally, I agree with. That's the whole
That is literally the whole point that making up. There's no reason to call
it that because that's not what it is. It's like why even but just
sounds like some stubborn shit that some people are like, No, I just
want to call it this because and I'm just think and you guys would be
stored for reason. It literally you're the one being stubborn. No, it's
it's not even a hard thing to stick. It's easier. First, it's
easier to say chicken belt, they can I get a chicken sand which your
bacon, lettuce and tomato cans. First of all, let me just say
this chicken belt haynous, heynous combination of I don't know why you would do
you get chicken sandwich you need what mayo? It is weird to do that.
That's a weird. Guys are insane. You guys are insane. You
guys are insane. Tomato just and my tomato doesn't. I'm a little bit
of anomaly. I'm a little bit of anomaly. I actually don't like raw
tomatoes. I think raw tomatoes ruins the whatever. It's cold and it makes
it. It just I don't like cold ass things ruining the hotness of my
stuff. And I think I just think things that on average cooked or like
say, I think like cooked tomatoes, like when you make it in the
sauce, it turns awesome. Yeah, you turn it in the sauce.
Grilled onions I think are far superior than raw onions in my opinion. These
are just like my opinion, things depends like me. I just think It's
like I love onions. I mean, onions are amazing when you think about
like the think about them, like when people like I say, I don't
necessarily understand like people who have extremely rare steak when the thing that they really
like about it is the seared part, which is well, you know,
the seared part is well done. Everything else under it is like, you
know, raw whatever. I don't understand those people because they know the good
part of it is when the fire hits the fucking how do you get?
How do you guys get your steaks? So I get, I get it
depends on the place, but I like a since most chefs don't want to
actually cook a steak well done, if you say well done, it'll end
up being like medium rare, which is fine for me. So that's usually
how I say, there's a steakhouse up in North Las Vegas that's fucking amazing.
So I'll say like a well done because if you if you if you
say medium, well, it'll usually just be mediums. They usually kind of
go a little bit. So I say well done and then they'll do it
so there's some pink in it, and I'm okay with a little bit of
pink. But the thing is like, I'm not a baby. I can
chew. So because usually people are like, oh, it's so tough,
I'm like, and then you talk to those same people, and if you
give them beef jerky, it needs to be as tough as rocks. Like
they're they're crazy to me. They're like, that's not real beef jerky,
that's slimy soft shit. But then if you give you give them a slimy
soft fucking piece of steak, they love it, And I'm like, what
the fun? I mean, I kind of know because I know what you
I understand that I don't agree with that specific because I'm not really a jerky.
I don't like really, it's just like authentic way to eat things,
is what I'm saying. These people said, the authentic way to eat a
steak is you sear it and then it's bleeding in the middle, sub blah
blah blah. But the authentic way to eat jerky is it's fucking so dried
out that it could break your teeth. No, I like cowboy jerky,
man, I like some real jerky. I'm just saying, my teeth can
handle it, so I can handle a well done steak too. It's not
yeah, it's it's not exactly jerky, but like there's my family will do
this whenever we whenever they make like a pork uh like a like a like
a like a giant slab of of of pork or whatever, huh where they'll
cook it. I think it's called like, I don't know if it's exactly
called cheech on, because I've I've seen I've I've googled cheet on, and
that's not what it is. You know what I mean. When I'm talking
about I'll describe what you're talking about. So, so what I'm so,
let me just finish the description. So what it is? It is like
you cook, you roast the pork, but then the outside it's kind of
like glaze and and really like burnt to shit. Yeah, and then that
stuff you kind of like peel off and it's basically like fucking glass. But
it's so fucking delicious I can't even It's like a separate snack that you have
after. In several ways, I've had chechens where you're going to mix some
place. They're pretty much the stars that's today people start ymon they put limen
on like the star wheels. I've had a classic cheech it on where it's
pretty much you braise the steak at first, and then you fry. You
you braise the the ham, then you fry it, chop it up,
and then that's cheech it on that way I my family makes it. Then
this cheech it on where it's just like pork rhymes pretty much. Yeah,
that's not that's not what I'm talking that's not what I'm talking about. Yeah,
yeah, the way it's it's literally it's literally like a ship. It's
literally like a shell around the pork that you crack and you break into pieces
and you just have like this this plate of basically pork glass. That sounds
so horrible, so fucking that's that ship is the most delicious shit I've had
in my life. It's so is uh is It doesn't make sense Like pork
in general is a crazy ass fucking animal. It's a fucking sad piece of
shit animal. Like I really that that poor fucking animal is so delicious and
it doesn't even it knows how delicious it is too because of how horrible it
sounds, like when you were like trying to kill it, like it's its
best to like killing not killed, because it knows your memories. Bro,
that doesn't sound I'll never forget in my life hearing pigs dies. They sound
like kids. It's fucking crazy pigs. I saw a pig. I saw
a pig, Dude, I saw a pig. I saw a pig get
dragged underwater by like crocodile ons. Uh not in person, obviously, in
a video. Yeah it was. It literally screamed. It was like whoa,
whoa, Like it was crazy. It was like fucking screaming and it
said, whoa, whoa, It's gonna crash bandicoot world to try to get
away. It's it's looney Tunes over there. Man, it's I can't I
get I hope that, like there's never any dystopic shit happening. We have
to start killing our own food because I don't want a man. I like
I can, but I don't want to. It would make me stronger.
I could do it with chickens for sure, Like chickens have no chance in
hell. Like I I love chickens. Chickens are awesome. They're so fun,
but like they're like they there's nothing going on it, Like I feel
no guilt at all, Like like they're they are almost fucking It would be
like like it's breaking an iPhone almost, Like it would be like breaking it
I don't care about I'll eat you. I'll eat you. I'm not gonna
crush you for no reason, but like i'll kill you to eat chicken.
She went picked it up nicely. It's headed, the whole swivel thing.
Then she snapped its neck quick twist pop turkeys. And I was remarkably,
turkeys are remarkably unempathetic animals, Like I. I like, I would beat
the shit out of a turkey and leave it there, like like because they're
so fucking like. I remember once, like in the rain. I remember
once and when I was living upstate New York with my parents, like when
I was young, my mom like screamed and and I was like, what
the fuck's going on? I went downstairs and there was this like crowd of
turkeys in the rain, sopping wet, which, by the way, they
looked fucking disgusting when they're wet. They looked so fucking gross when they're soaked
in the rain. But like they were just like next to like my screen
door, and they looked so fucking disturb me. But I remember looking at
it was like I would, I would have no issue beating the shad out
of these things and just leaving them there, Like I wouldn't even eat him
that even leave because because turkey. Turkey is not good enough for the Like
I just I don't like turkey enough to go through the process of like killing
a turkey and then the harvesting process to turn that turkey into something usable,
Like, I just it's not worthy to me. Smoked turkey is the only
way I eat turkey. Now, smoked turkey, I was like, Oh,
there's no eating regular turkey anymore. It's insane. You get it from
like a deli, put in a sandwich. It's like it's stelly meat.
Also too, Honey, Honey, turkey is delicious, bron honeyaz turkey.
You can get anything else and it's better. I don't honey, him is
wave, but I don't like him at all. That's me personally, though,
ive any honey turkey. I don't really eat pork that much. I
didn't grow up eating pork a lot, didn't really do it so much.
But dude, I love pork. Pork. It's good. It's good.
I like bacon. I like bacon at I like pork. Pork. Chop
is good as well. I hated I'm anchor. That's why whatever. I
heard my uncle shoot one and it was still weing low. Oh that's the
worst it was making that sound. I'm like, oh, it was like,
it's a crazy the idea people. Do you think hear people beat the
shut up porking, the like rods and like sticks, and you hear them
like but he's trying to get words. Shit. Nope, I'm not doing
this anymore. I'm good. I would do it. I would do it.
I wouldn't do it just to hear the sound if you would stop fishing,
if they like scream. How many vegans do you think stopped listening to
the podcast today up though, I don't care any vegans. I'm with you.
I just want to say this and then we're moving on vegans. I'm
with you. As soon as they have fucking the meat that is it is
interchangeable, that the labroal meat that you can't even tell. I am one
on board. I will stop eating, I will stop contributing to vegans.
Vegans are objectively correct. You're you're objectively corrected. I cannot I cannot logically
argue against you. All I can. All I can say to you is
I fucking love chickens. I sound like a psycho. It is like it
is borderline religious actually, if you think about it, if you think if
you if you think about like arguing with like an atheist or something like why
do you believe in this stuff? And it's like, well, I just
love Christ, like I honestly, I like honestly for real, Like it
feels that way, and I'm I'm totally cognizant of it. I get it.
But you'll wrestle this fucking fried chicken out of my hands when I'm dead,
Okay, if vegans to find something better, if vegan started trying to
take chicken away from me, I would eat vegans. I would go to
start vegans just starting. I would the vegan would take out of my hand.
I would look at them and I'd bite their I'd bite a huge bite
out of their arm and I'd be like leave. Now you see walking dead?
Did you see where? Did you see Rick bite one of those dudes
in the did you see one of the whisperers? He was like he was
so he was he was so out of options that he just lunched that this
dude and bidest throat. You gotta do what you want, fucking thing,
I've ever seen in the show. It was it was so like brutal,
animalistic, like he just snaps and it's the funniest I'm like, I love,
I love the idea of being that savage. You know, it's crazy
and the Walking Dead. If when you look at the timeline, Bro,
it hasn't even been that long since the world has ended. Bro, it's
been like maybe ten ten eleven years since the world's gone to ship. Bro.
Look how bad Rick looks, Bro, Well, that's actually to look
at how terrible it's pretty long. That's I mean, that's a pretty long
time. Chris Rick was a long time. Rick's hair was brown and he
was shaved when the series starts. When you see where he is at the
end of this series, that man looks like he's lived twenty years and if
his life is horrible, then it's the most stressful existence to have probably,
But he looks bad, Bro. Yeah, he looks kind of like,
uh, we should It looks like it's a little bit like Sarmon, just
a little bit like like that is that is fucking crazy. He's going through
a lot. Bro. Nika looks like Kathick Thorn. By the end of
that fucking series. Bro, it's terrible. All right, we got we
got some fucking questions for these people. He's fine, Yeah, strapping down
audiences. All right, let's see pussy penis. Pussy penis, TM wrote
in Alright, Trademark two. I really can't believe I've that It's it is
weird to me that I have never thought of the concept of pussy penis.
You know what I mean, Like, that's that's almost so obvious, it's
almost tupid. It's just I don't know. It's like the idea of like,
it's me pussy penis. It's pretty funny. It's like not a bad
idea. I wonder what it's gonna It's gonna be a toy line, I
know, I know he has a trademaro. What is it gonna be?
Though, Oh man, one can only hope maybe a clothing line, penis
clothes. Yeah, I'll rock, I'll rocket. Yeah, pussy penis down
on the sleeve. Yeah, I like that penis erupting out of a vagina.
Pussy penis Trademark road and he says, uh, hello black Man,
black Man, and Tom Sweeney. If you had to pick any of these
superpowers, which which would it be super speed, but only when you Naruto
run. Oh man, that's so these are the three options that we have
super speed but only when you Naruto run, become invisible only when you close
your eyes, uh, or you can see through walls. But it's in
one. So now it's all run super speed easily. Huh. There's no
detriment to that. Well, I guess like nobody can see you if you're
are you running fast enough to where people can't see you do that? Yeah,
it's it's super speed, it's super speed. Okay, yeah, no
one would see you. Yeah, for a new super speed like forty five
per hour, Like that's super speed. First, that's like double like a
humans the top speed of a woman like a person. Not necessary. First
of all, you run like that, you probably can't turn as well,
but I would just stop. I'll just put my arms down. Five miles
an hour, people can see you do that. No, but like if
everyone's like if you're everyone like flash level speed, you know, like if
we're doing flash level turn like that, I just can't. I can't a
bear to see somebody see me run like that. It's too embarrassing. Yeah,
that's you. You can rather ship myself in public than like hatch something
that's you until you run them over a volcano and let go of them,
then they talk to any of them let go. I don't know until you
real fast how bad? How bad is one four? Because you think you
think, I think you think it's better than what it is, because for
eighty is bad one for Okay, So I'm gonna I'm gonna look at I'm
watching a Destiny trailer at one forty four. P uh huh, I don't
know. That's still a lot of information. I whatever, dude, that's
that's like really that that could potentially be useful. But what do you so
then? What do you are you trying to? Like, what would you
use it for to like rob stuff or no, I mean just to Yeah,
I guess I don't I don't know. I guess I wouldn't have any
real reason to use it. I just watched the Donkey video one forty four,
and that ship looks ridiculous. It's pretty bad. Yeah, we get
fucked up. Yeah that was a good one. Uh, I don't know,
I think Uh. I guess I'm probably gonna go with the run because
you people won't see you if you are going that fast, So that's kind
of invisible. You're gonna die. It's gonna die. That is to be
fair, That is pretty useful. No, it's not. It is you're
in a bind man yousible. Oh that's kind of well, that's well,
yeah, that's that is that is true. I hadn't thought of that,
so that actually might be super fucking us might be useful if you close your
eyes. Yeah, yeah, actually, you know what, I'm gonna go
with the visible. I feel like I feel like I would I would benefit
more from a visibility than I would from superspeed. If I wasn't, I
wouldn't. I wouldn't make people hurt themselves. Your sins are funny. The
thing is, like I would sneak. I would sneak into places. I
would sneak into places, not even because I needed anything from them, but
just just as a game, just to see if I could. You know
what I mean, Because I love stealth. I love stealth games. I
love stealth in video games, and the fact that that's like an underserved genre
right now means if I, if I have this power, I could just
make my own stealth game everywhere, sneaking to buildings, I don't belong in
sleep sneaking to fucking facilities, and dude, could I could probably save the
world with the ship seeking the fucking sneaking to fucking what is it that Australian
guy's house money Just like air drop air drop all of his money to me.
Yeah, you'll find out where all of his stupid ass like offshore accounts
are. And ship. Oh dude, the havoc I could wreak. Yeahs
ability is so scary because you would not be able to fake like imagine that,
like like if someone like get invisible. If someone the tag you're fighting
and they throw the spill sing on you, right, and this is what
you do, This automatically thing scarier for them. You just ride a smiley
face on your invisible face in two eyes and then this makes them way more
scared than they were before because now you're trying to get entity that's happy and
it's just like yo, I would I would make people lose their mind.
I would make people hurt themselves. I would go to people that are not
doing well mentally not to whisper ship to them. The fuck I'm up even
more, I would still I wouldn't go ramp it bro, Yeah, I
don't know. Definitely, I would try to manipulate the president, like you
know, you you come up to like Biden and like you just make him
like make him up, yeah, whisper shit, like just keeping like saying
I don't know, crazy shit, like what's his wife's name, Jill?
Like how it'll just be like, yeah, I fucking hate you. I
fucking my name is Jill and I hate you. My name's Jill. My
name is Jill, and I fucking hate you. He's like, oh,
not again. So it's happening again, and he like freaks out like during
a press conference and ship and he starts like over see that video of him
having to get his he was at like an international conference and he said like,
I don't know about you. I'm gonna go to bed. I'm gonna
go to bed. I just I just saw him this morning. I just
heard dude. I'm sorry. Like we'll talk about this on the on the
next episode, I guess, but like that, I don't know, man,
there's there's some crazy stuff going on anyway. Uh, let's move on.
I have the pronouns of Starfield stuff. I'm not gonna get into that.
Thank you, thank you, I thank the QR master. I you
know, we would answer the question, but it's you know, it's it's
a dead topic and we kind of we kind of killed it in the last
episode that we did about it. So but you're right, uh now I
am become gay the sucker of cos nice right, sand He says, dumb,
Hey, dumb sinky do two heads? All right, let's relax.
Would you rather sit at a table at a lunch table with guys who really
get upset I have pronouns on an RPG, or just sit with Chris chan
Oh fuck, I don't know. I would say with Christian I would I
would have so much, but I wouldn't say anything. I'd be quiet to
start writing things down. There's so much that I want to know, you
know, like, and I feel like I could get some insight. Maybe
I could. I could I could reach him on like a Chris to Chris
basis. You know, he would be like a little bit more trusting of
me, you know, so I could be like, hey, man,
what's up with all this? I would hey, yo, did you really
fuck your mom? Or was good? Like did that really happened? Is
that real? Or did you just say that? Because you thought it made
you look cool for something. Because I could see that some can see that
later reason someone manipulated Christian again for the fiftieth time. I could see him
being like, well, if I lose my virginity at all, that would
be cool, you know what I mean. So I could see him lying
about it. But also like I could see him doing it too, So
it's like, it's all I felt so bad for the guy. Man,
Yeah, I feel bad for him. I'm not in some sense, but
also because he's just if he just would have never been on the internet,
he might have just turned out like a regular retarded person. Show. That
is a wild thing that you just say, was it on this show that
we said that there's an argument that Christian is like is what hell is?
Yeah? Like like the idea, like like the idea that everybody, like
everybody there's that there's that theory about reincarnation or whatever that everybody kind of is
everybody at some point, like you die and you just sort of become someone
else, and everybody is it's like a shared kind of soul almost, and
we experience life through everybody's eyes and we you know, experienced in real time
or whatever. Christian is like where where you go if you've been like a
really bad person, Like that's that's the that's the body you get. I
just can't make sense. Yeah, it would make sense, man, I
don't know if I I just I don't think that. I think I would
take the other nerds and just because I feel like it would be like,
you know when the like the the dude he had that documentary where he was
living amongst the bears and stuff like that, Right, yeah, yeah,
I kind of like just want to do that just just kind of are you
talking about the Grizzly Man, Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know what happened at the end of Yeah, it's so funny.
It reminds me. It reminds me of that nor McDonald joke where he's like,
you'll never like when when the crocodile Hunter died and he goes like everybody
everybody kept calling me, It's like, you'll never guess who died the crocodile
hunter. It's like, of course, of course, a fucking course get
killed by a dangerous animal, who like, I can't believe that happen.
Crazy, It's like, well a park chorus, You'll never guess you'll never
guess how this park chorus died. It's like, yeah, let me take
a wild stab in the door, bro. I've there's so many videos on
YouTube of people are doing parkkur fucking up and falling to their deaths. Of
course, it's it's that you can't. You're only good at that because you're
dumb enough to keep trying. It's it's not like you're not ever going to
be in a situation where you can use that effectively. Ever you're going you
are going to die, you can use it effectively. But when they're on
skyscrapers like that, I was like, that shit is just dangerous. There's
no good reason to be up that high ever, Like think about it,
like if you're living a kind of lifestyle where like you're fucking like tagging shit
up, or like if you're robbed like a person at this parkour. They're
probably the ultimate kind of people that brought robbing mug people because they're gone like
you, they mug you, they're up a fire escaping like yo, this
guy's geeks. He's up somewhere now. I don't know where he is anymore.
I was looking at it for a little bit and then he did some
shipm me and now I don't know where he is. That guy that escaped
prison, Like I think he was a parkour dude because he walked up a
wall. Oh yeah, that fucking guy. That that dude, who,
oh my god. That little Mexican guy, A little Mexican guy. He
likes. He's like slayed a bunch of people with like a they killed someone
who really killed somebody. I think he killed his his girlfriend because she was
gonna knock at him for killing somebody. And then so he was in prison
and he was gonna, I think, get sitting, so he got sittings
and then he just he crab walked this way up a wall, jumped over
some razor wire and he fucking he bounced. It's crazy, un they caught
him. They caught him because that guy's name, I forget his name.
Let me look it up. Killer Escape. Yeah, that's that's escaped Pennsylvania
prisoner now now armed with a stolen rifle and extremely dangerous. Police say,
September twelve. So that's uh if it's updated, because he's he's been caught
and he stole he stoles somebody's twenty two from their garage because at first he
escaped because where he escaped there was a lot of brush and a lot of
jungle ish type of you know. Danilo. Danilo Cavalcante taken into custody after
he was seduced, seduced, subdued by a police dog. He was seduced
by like a big coming coming bark bark, fucked me barn bark, Like,
oh ho, that's a sexy heymes, I'll kill you later. I'll
kill you later. I'll kill you later, I say, fuck me me
school's schools something, bro, I gotta go fuck this dog real quick.
Boot It was a police dog. Oh you got me the dog. The
dog's wearing a wire and it's it's like under a fucking it's under a police
vest that he didn't he didn't know get notice this dog? Well, oh
no, you got me, dude. They got me, man, all
right, they got me. Look, Uh it's I don't know, so
I'm sorry. So this Yeah, but there's a video. If you look
at the video of this dude escaping, it's so funny because he literally just
he you like, it's what I used to do in like my apartment hallway
when I was like a child, where you would like you would walk and
you would put your hands on one wall, you put your feet on the
other and just like walk up like that. And he somehow fucking broke out
of prison that way. That's insane, that that's a that's all that's required
to break out of prison. Like it's like a movie. You always think
like, oh, it's bullshit, and then this motherfucker does it. It's
totally real, dude. You actually hear about them shitty, how shitty prison
conditions are. That there are people that make routes for themselves regularly. They'll
go to McDonald's, they'll go see their girlfriends, and then they'll come back
to prison. The prison system is so much like there needs to be a
there's probably some good documentaries on I'm sure, but it's it's so silly when
you actually hear about how dumb the conditions are. There's not enough guards,
that everything's fucked, and then people are just like coming in and out and
I'm like, wait, would you just leave forever? Why would just come
back in? I don't know. People get used to those conditions, man,
It's really sad. That is true. That is true. You get
institutionalized. That is true. Yeah, you get three meals a day.
You know, it's really really really really got this one that we got this,
we got this question, We got this question from Sandwich. It's pretty
good. Hello you combined Oreo. Since you three are so musically inclined,
I have to ask, what is the worst line or bar in a song
you've ever fucking heard? Personally? I think it has to be the line
from Fallout Boys we didn't start the fire cover Megan Marcol. Oh, yeah,
Megan Marcol George Floyd birds Khalifa Metroid. It's fucking insane. I didn't
even listen to that line. That is the line in in the fall Up
Boys. Awesome, So George Floyd ris with Metroids. Awesome. Wait,
what at least a picture of Sam is fucking like like like and a fucking
charge shot leading behind his head. Yeah but he right, he continues,
There's just something, there's just something hilarious abut ryming George Floyd with Metroid that
both feels out of touch and like they didn't even try. Yeah, it's
yeah, it's it's not a good rhyme, and it's also just like not
the right place for that pretty fucked up line. It's it's from Rick Ross.
He's like, I put Molly on her champagne. She even know it
and enjoyed that even. I was just like, I was like that,
but the but the beat, that beat is Metro Metro woman, so the
beat's fire, and I'm like, it's kind of hypnotic. I heard the
line perk up, like like when you call a dog like You're like,
You're like, like, wait, what did he say? She didn't even
know I took home and enjoyed her bro and you fucking they're bragging about it
that I don't even know it. I don't know. I think the one
that I would oh man, the one that I would pick is probably Oh
fuck, I just had it too. I just had it in my brain.
H No, okay, yeah it was. It was. It was
kid rock in fucking Osmosis Jones when he says uh when he says something like
I like them under agec or whatever. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, I do. Some some some say it's statute tory, but I
say it's mandatory. That's a line, a real line. I'm like,
oh my god, oh my god. So it's like, you know,
not not not great great, it has to be some sort of context and
clear that up. Though there has some no no, no, he's just
he's just a man. The the amount of the amount of snitching that people
that artists put in there and their songs is kind of alarming. I mean,
even think about r Kelly, what do you think about what is it
called a bumping grind? Like allegedly their songs about u Aliah and that's like
ultra illegal because he met her, you know, I think he married her
when she was fifteen and he was like twenty seven or something, and like
she was like my mind telling me no, but my body, my body
telling me yes. And it's like this song is just about fucking literally statutory
rape. I was like, that's crazy. Why would you write it?
Why would you do that? I gotta want, I gotta get these feelings.
Yeah, I really got to turn into a song like it's It's one
of the things we always say, like if if you're gonna be a freak,
pervert whatever, degenerate, like at the very least keeping your mouth.
Jesus, you think you think got of just self preservation, you'd think like,
yeah, I'm not gonna write this song. So what happens that because
you have to know, like even back then when it was like more normal,
like I mean like it was more through all through all of human history,
for the majority of human history, like like fucking old guys have been
marrying like fucking thirteen year olds. Like it's it's sad, but that's it's
actually like very real, like like it's it's maybe like point zero zero zero
zero zero zero years zero one percent of all of human history has been you
know, opposed to that generally, you know, but even so, like
I feel like you still kind of I don't know, you have to understand
on some level that that that's not great, yeah, and that you probably
shouldn't write. But there's so many instances of that like in songs too,
Like there's so many songs about like she was just she was only fourteen and
she makes my pain scream, Like it's just it's fucking crazy. Like how
many songs there are Stacy's Mom You think about a fucking crazy that's it's almost
that's almost the reverse kind of it is the reverse, but it's still kind
of a crazy song to write where you're just like, man, I'm really
trying to like I'm a kid, I'm really trying to fuck this mom,
and I'm like, that's it's it's fun. It's a fun song. But
when you think about it, like guds if, like we always say,
if the rules are reversed, how fucking people would have freaked the fuck out
if it was like a, I don't know how old the kid is in
the song, let's just say twelve or whatever, and then there's like this
year old old dude and she's like fucking up. Yeah, Stacy's dad has
got you know, like the people be like, yo, what's going on?
I Maine? He was just gay though. Imagine this is this thirteen
year old boys trying to fuck Stacy's Dad's just funny. I like their sister.
He's like, look said I wish he was my pre east. He's
like he locks the door, hes, he like walks and locks the door,
and look, someone's getting sucked right now. Man, it was one
of us. How do you feel about this? Uh? Because Chris Evans
recently got married, right and he's he's forty two and he got married to
a twenty six year old twenty six he got married again. You can know
what you want. Oh, I didn't even know he was married before he
married old woman before his first wife. I didn't know that, so he
just he just married down. Well, I will say it's past the age
of the uh the the when there's the there's this thing going on online in
the Mano Spear Christian sect where past twenty five is just is broken. So
it's at least it's not that's so crazy it is. It's I mean,
it's true, it's true, but it's nuts. It's true. It's true,
but it's mean, uh yeah, so okay, she's twenty six.
I My whole thing is, it's I just I need to see the dynamic
before I can judge. It's kind of like, I don't know if you
guys seen book nine eight recent yea, I am one of those people that,
even though it is legal, I'm like, there's no like, this
is a this chick is hurting. She is not you know, this is
it's not well people, and it's not even yeah, and it's not even
me speculating. They have said publicly that they bonded over trauma, and I'm
like, of course, that's literally old that's literally it's literally a trauma bond.
And it's like the worst possible way in the worst. It's it's so
funny that that was like a publicized thing that she said that he's like that
and he's also fifty and she's like like twenty and that's that's that's crazy.
If you look at her, like all the signs because she's she's she she's
admitted that she doesn't have a good relationship with her parents. You look at
her, she is, she's, she's thin. She uh, she's very
much into drugs. Like this is just me. This is me, like
looking into it for like ten minutes and I'm like, oh, I see
what this is and looks like Arkansas. Look, look look, let me,
let me, let me be, let me be real, let me
real. Rights he can't get Yeah, all right, yeah he can marry.
I mean, I think I think that Chris. By the way,
just to be clear, I think Chris everything, it's fine. I think
if you're twenty twenty, if you're twenty five and over, like quite frankly,
like you're a fucking adult, you know what you're fucking doing. I
knew. Look, man, if if I would know what I was doing
at like personally, I would know what I was doing at twenty two,
Like if I if I was if I was, like if I was like
trying, if I was dating, like I don't know, some some Sophia
Forgara or something, you know what I mean, Like Sophia Frigara at twenty
two. It's like, let me tell you something. I know what I'm
doing, right, I know what I'm doing at twenty At twenty two,
I know what I'm doing at twenty six, you absolutely know what you're doing.
It's fine. I guess the only thing I would change it would be
like how long they've been doing Like if if if it was like they were
dating, she was like twenty you know, like you know what I mean,
Like if it was like a sixty year relationship or something, and then
like the end they got married like that, I would be fucking a little
a little bizarre, little bit a little weird, not entirely, I think
personally, even for me right now, someone that is twenty five, I
feel it's a bit young for me, even me currently right now, I'm
I'm a relationship. So this is hypothetically, if I wasn't, I could
sleep with someone else potentially like twenty two years old at like my current twenty
nine year old age. But I wouldn't do right, so I wouldn't date
someone. Well, there is, Yeah, there's a difference between like hooking
up and dating. I think dating is a lot more like but but I
find it very weird. It's very weird to hold. People are like,
I can't wait that she's eighteen because it is a day ago. You're fucking
creep bro like watching that's insane. Yeah, yeah, I think, but
it kind of shows you that I don't freak I don't freak out of the
arbitrary. At the same time, not absolutely as arbitrary, it totally is.
My main concern is because my main concert because obviously most of these perverts,
the reason why they go after younger women, but younger sorry young girls
is because oh easily you get you can fuck. It's easier to sleep with
them than someone who's much more mature and and it has more self respect.
Blah blah blah. Those people, I'm like, okay, scumbags. I
don't freak out about them as much as ones that are actual. You know,
I like, I like, I love what people say now and never
like pdf file. I love that this is the way to get around it.
I love it's so clever. So people say pdf files where people who
want the prepubest it. And because my whole thing is much my brain can
never even compute a little bit these like these perfects that are waiting for you,
said bad baby to turn eighteen, because at the very least, I'm
like, this bitch was like dressing all scantily clad and she's like, oh,
entering womanhood and ship, so at least they're not like, oh,
let me get this stick figure vessel thing and some reason I want to like
that ship is crazy to me. Never I'll never understand it. I can't
understand it. But I know why the freaks want to do the bad because
they think that, like all, this is a little young girl, she's
stupid and easily manipulative. I know what they're trying to do. Who is
very young in appearance, and the way people come onto her makes me feel
really uncomfortable because yeah, it's I think Christmas person and if you think,
and it makes me feel very uncomfortable because every time the person shows maturity,
you're going to comments and you see a lot of people very angry about this
person acknowledging that they are still an adult. And I'm like, what the
fuck is wrong with people, dude, like their whole ass profile, like
their mom and dad following them, and they're just like, ah ill,
don't show that. It's like, don't show this person's a legal aged adult.
I mean, it's definitely. Let me ask you, guys, it's
weird. How do you guys feel about the school girl outfit like fetish or
kink or whatever? How do you how do you feel about that? I
thought it was cool when I was thirteen. I grew up. I gotta
tell you there, I do, so I totally understand the because I'm one
of the people that I don't really see it as it's not anything I think.
I don't think of my wife like, oh I wish you would go
get like a schoolgirl outfit or whatever, because that's not as a as a
you know, a guy in his thirties. I don't care about school or
anything like that doesn't excite me. But I will say there's some people,
and I'm trying to just be fair, I think there's some people that they
just like the skimpiness of it, like when it's like that, and it's
not actually just the There are obviously, like schoolgirl uniforms that are like that
they're made to specifically be like right, and it's not like borderline lingerie and
that's not that's yeah, that's not that catholic long skirt thing. And you're
like, oh, man, I just I wish you were a high school
I guess, but it is. I mean, I'm I'm I'm not trying
to kink shame. I think it is overall. I think it's a little
bit weird. Overall. It's a little bit weird to me, just because
like I feel like the people want to do the role playing or something and
I'm not. I'm not really, you know, personally, I'm not.
I'm not into that. I can't be acting. I can't be acting.
And it looks like, man I did it one time, dude, and
if you if you want me to act, you better fucking pay right,
because that's a fucking that's I'm not. Look, I'm not an actor,
Okay, I'm not here to fucking pretend to be a fucking teacher or something
like the No, I didn't. I didn't like it. Someone someone wanted
to do that shit like act do like a sting. I wasn't. I
hated that like a play for a while and I stopped for a while.
I'm sorry. That's that's that's I can't. That's the most dude people that
like, I know dudes that let that slide. I'm like, but you
deserve better than that. You deserve better than to before you get push you
gotta get called the Edward like three times. Yeah, everyone, everyone deserves
better than that. It's like, can't be that good dog? She called
you nword. You gotta sit with that. You gotta you gotta sit with
be called the Edward? A hard dick? Bro? What if she doesn't?
What if you guys fuck up and you guys don't finish that nighte you
just gotta called the Edward like three times, just sit there with a hard
dick into the rest of the morning. What if he busted faster? Oh
he didn't even he just liked even didn't even touch any day. You're like
this, You're so disappointed, he came so hard. You're still gonna let
it happen, though, because that we'll start rapping, rapping things. I'm
fucking starving right now. I need to eat. I haven't eaten all day,
and we saw have another the other episode to record later. So it's
rather this baby up. At first, I want to answer one question because
oh yeah, let's do it. Uh, this has just directed it.
Maybe it's a it's a quick one, and I just want to get it
off the list. She sells Seashells by the sea shore and he sells Seashells
on the Seafloor Roadin says Hello, Jen, simple question for you. Is
Chris Ray Gun named after the raging from cod Zombies. Do you enjoy the
series? No, it has them to do with that. It literally just
I've explained this a couple times with like, I'm I'm sure there are new
people. I just didn't know what. I didn't want my last name him
to be part of my channel, and so it was just Chris Ray for
a while. But that felt like incomplete, and I just kept trying to
find stuff to put after it, and Gun was the only thing that worked,
and that was what my name was when everything kind of started exploding and
I was like, well, I'm stuck here, but I guess not.
No, that's what a lot of people do. A lot of people would
say that the unhinged fucking like uh, like progressive people would like they would
always be like, he's fucking named after Reagan. I've never even considered that,
Like, I know, I'm kidding with the idea that people thought that
that was a real that was a very very real criticism that was living.
And I was like, it blew my mind because I was like, I'd
never once thought of that ever in my fucking life. I just didn't want
to be Chris Ray because that's not anything. Also, that was a baseball
player, I'm pretty sure somewhere, and I was like, fuck uh,
and there's nothing that does after There's nothing else that you can put after that
fucking name. It's it. It's it. You're pretty much the Ravens.
It makes some fucking sense. You should. You should change it to Chris
gay Gun during Pride Month. Then I did that? You did, Oh
yeah, I usually do that. I was like, I get this idea.
I must have seen it and been like, oh man, I'm gonna
tell him about that. And I felt like I did that. It was
whole idea. No. I did that in like twenty fifteen too, like
when when like because that was what people were calling me and I was like,
all right, anyway, you know, Ronnie Ray, Ronnie Reagan is
kind of dope. That's Ronnie Reagan. Yeah yeah, we have a we
have some some bumper stickers on on sacred symbols that have because Calm Moriarty's last
name is Moriarty in mind, and we have like the same like a Bush
Reagan. Oh yeah, and it says Moriarty reagun on it nice, pretty
good. Anyway, let's u let's fus get onto reading these fucking names.
You still don't have vidie. Okay, all right, I'm gonna okay,
okay, I'm okay, all right, yeah yeah, all right, let's
uh let's read these names. Uh active, there we go twenty five,
all right, cut me down three two one, uh uh, there goes
my what There goes my homo. Watch him as as he blows nice very
good, There goes my homo. Watch him as he blows so fucking stupid
Shama llama long schlang. I'm forty four episodes behind and catching up quickly.
This is a threat, ye Yanti walmart berg u n d C thirteen uh
cipher graph professional sink pisser. They should put a GoPro on e DP to
show what happens to him. The only snark tank patron who have both justifiably
and verbally verifiably shot and killed not just one, but two people. His
balls are sweaty. D's week Ars is heavy, British ars is heavy.
Nice, He's there's semen on his sweater already, starfish spreading star That's not
bad. That's not bad. Like the semen on a sweat already is one
that I've honestly, honestly, honestly, there's something there that could be fucking
one splood yourself. That's that's pretty. That's not fucking bad at all.
It's not bad. The seam on your sweat already is something that I say
to myself like regularly. So it's already there for sure. That's pretty.
That's pretty good. Man, that's not bad. That's good. We'll we'll
think, we'll look into it. Well, we'll put some R and D
into that. Uh, Adolpho the Twink, Lord of Come and master of
man ass Sweeney like my weenie Keith David, all their dicks are brown,
All their dicks are brown. And and this is and this guy is gay,
Yeah, this guy is gay. I've sucked on a cock. I
don't know what this is. I don't know what this one. I'm sorry,
damn Benjamin Air and Shapiro. Yeah, uh, come in my ass.
You're drilling me, drilling me. All all I want is your ooze.
I don't know what that is. Fuck, we're getting stoned. Like,
what's up? Man? You gotta put the song you're parroting next with
eventually. Yeah, yeah, listen, I do like guessing it, but
it was just damn whatever do you like? Coming ms in my coming coming
in my head? That's a whole, that's awesome. I love that,
all right. Caucasian container, the cracker bowl for Gaye. Keith David tinfoil
tyrant because I'm a hex girl and I'm gonna put put my cum on you,
putting black face on my light bulbs. Keith David raped my dragon,
Max Silhouette, Sweeney Sweeney Sweeney, Swallow up my Pennie, bend my dick,
come in and snatch sings and the signs and the signs. Some cock
were written on the bathroom stalls. Dick and balls. She pipkin on my
Pippa possum. Yes that's right, my real name. I tried the b
w oh, I tried the buffalo wild wings, cheese curds and and they're
just okay. No, man, you gotta try them with caramel. You're
missing your You missed the whole fucking point. You missed the entire point you
gotta put. You gotta ask them for the caramel dip. Trust me,
little climb up betree and fall out of it. I mean, that's unreal.
That's pretty mean. The man's the man who's outside your window. I'm
not using I'm not using stilts. I'm just that tall, average flip energy.
That's really scary on the fifth floor. You look at you guy waltz
past the window. Dude. I used to have this, really, I
used to have this insane fear. I used to have this insane fear of
like looking out my window on my fifth story apartment in Yonkers and just seeing
a guy's shadow, like a person, like a person shadow, Because the
very idea of that is so mind been dingle scary. That was just like
I can't. I would shut my windows like I would, I would close
the blinds, I would put the curtains up, just so I didn't have
a chance of seeing it. Yeah, if I was, like if I
lived like the fifth floor and that to somebody outside of my window, I
would push them, so when they hit the floor, they're doomed, like
falling down like that arc that hits the growl your head touches the floor.
Shit's blow it up. I'm a black belt and hate speech wrote in.
He says, uh, Star Coffee, I didn't he didn't write it,
and he's I'm reading the names. I'm sorry, I'm getting fucking I'm so
hungry, I'm delirious. Star Coffee. A mob of cock Goblin Goblin mobsters
Robin Robin, Williams, Grave, Gollumn and Smigle arguing over whether they say
the N word. Transform Gremlin exposing people with lactose and tomans in ninety million,
rodygens of ionizing radiation, Yush not Vin Penn, the Angelic Dungeon Master
presents Game of Thrown Special Victims Unit. Yeah, Craig the Canadian Richard Richard
Fisting declares that Craig the Canadian is dead parentheses. Maybe it's your boy,
Shawny d nine eleven two. This time it's personal. Uh uh, I
can't believe. Did you By the way, I know this is like tangential
to anything that we care about really on this show, but did you see
because even I know about this. That's how I know it's a big deal.
You see what happened to the Jets? Oh yeah, yeah, that's
that's so fucking crazy. So Aaron Rodgers, who's this like big star quarterback
that they got, Like he played for the Jets have sucked for a really,
really long time. So the fact that they got this guy and they
like, there was like a lot of hope. It was like, oh
man, the Jets are gonna do well. It's here because they got Aaron
Rodgers. And like I think in like the first like I don't know if
it was the first player four plays in, plays in, he tores,
he tores achilles tendon and he's just out for the rest of the years.
And and so he's so old. Who knows if he's even gonna come back
after this. Yeah he might not. He might not play again. And
I I know that, like, like we're not sports. I'm not a
sports person at all. But the fact that I know this at all is
you know, what I know isn't isn't calling a fucking cospan. It's calm,
it's calm and so and so people. But like it wasn't even because
of Colin necessarily because people were coming into my chapel. I was screaming Starfield
and saying you and saying check on Colin, make sure he's okay, Sure,
he's okay. So I literally thought about that, was like, I
wonder what Colin thinks right now? Dude, it is crazy on the floor
all just in a fetal position. Dude. We did we did this.
We did a secret with just us because Dustin's in Japan, and he was
like, we spent thirty minutes talking about it, and he was like,
the blunt answer. The blunt answer is like people were asking me how I
am. It's like the answer is like, I'm not okay. And I
felt bad for laughing, but it was so it was so funny to hear
that. Since I was in high school, they were that's been bad for
a while. They haven't been I was not since the fun They weren't even
good. No, bro, they even they wouldn't do lifetime. They're not
twenty twelve, twenty eleven. You think it's not good enough? Man?
They want they made They made it to the end of their their conference.
They were almost one, and they need a championship. Brother. Anyway,
the point is that, Like, it's that's such a crazy thing to happen.
It's so unlucky, like the Jesse of curse. And what's even what's
even crazier about it to me is that not only did it happen to the
Jets, but it happened to the Jets on nine to eleven, which is
amazing. New York's unlucky day. Man, Like New York Jets and nine
to eleven do not fucking mix. Man, that's the second time. That's
the second fucking time. How nutting is that? How fucking that's cosmic shit.
I was telling Colin's like, you couldn't write this and have it be
believable, Like it wouldn't believable if this happened. Yeah, you'd be like,
that's so shitty writing one of Aaron Rodgers towers. Yeah, yeah,
the twins, the Twin Tier, the first his legs of the twin Towers
in the first tower went down. Poor Aaron Man. I like, honestly,
dude, he must be well used to like him, but then he
he was like, oh he became one of those anti VAXX freaks and he
started going on like on the doing like podcast and ship being like he was.
That's why maybe that's why he's Achilles tended door crazy. I'm not getting
my Achilles backs, Achilles medicine getting my Achilles backs. Like, dude,
it's so funny. Imagine getting a plane, Imagine getting a call like a
tear his hit, A tear his hit Aaron Rodgers Achilles Tender Tears. That's
so great. Oh fuck, all right, I forgot. I totally forgot
to touch on that because it's like so so you know, but it did
happen. It was like one of the big things that actually did so unfortunate.
Yeah, yeah, best wishes too, whatever coin Yeah, yeah,
that's really I only feel bad for Colin. I don't really feel bad for
Air, and that guy's a fucking Infinity billionaire who gives a fuck. Yeah,
he'll be fine. And also I didn't know he was anti vacts.
I feel significantly less bad for me. Yeah. Yeah, I forgot about
it till right and I started thinking about his characters, like, yeah,
he's probably he probably thought he was fine. He's probably like so I'm old,
but like whatever, I fucking I take this homeopathic medicine and like,
fucking he cares. He probably got COVID like twenty times he got COVID eight
times weakened his fucking legs. Imagining at COVID so many times, your legs
are weaker, like actually your legs you like fucking rubble. And they're like,
yeah, stop getting COVID, stop getting this. Yeah, I'm still
alive. My legs are fucking weak. Bread tastes like soil, and water
taste like red, but like fucking whatever, Like I'm fine, let me
throw you the fucking ball. Yeah. It's not like training footage of him
or like he's like fucking like noodles and ship. He's like he's like a
blacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man. Okay, let's stop. Let's let
the next day he's wailing around like a fucking wacky waving inflatable I'm flailing tube
man. That's awesome. He looks like read Richards bro his fucking bumpets all
sorts silly. It's better than crudely painted not so funny poly would cut out
folk carts. That'd be worse. All right, let's Matt Walsh is here
of our times to be being for life. Ben and Jerry's Funky Monkey uh
Andy butterknife on YouTube. Ben and Jerry neverminds, neverminds. I have ice
cream in my freezer and I haven't nice even opened. I've had it for
like weeks. How is this ice cream? Ice Cream's fine for a long
time, I assume unless it starts getting freezer burn. It's good. I
mean, but freeze Burn's not that big of deal, is it. It
just makes it taste not good? Yeah, all right, yeah, I'll
probably I don't know. I gotta fucking I don't know. I don't like.
I don't know why I bought it. It'll take a long funk.
I love it, but my problem is I love ice cream. That's my
fucking problem. I like it, but it fucks my stomach gut. I
like it less than I think so. I think it's a sugar thing more
than anything, because I already kind of like I'm already trinking so much tea
with sugar and already so but all right, any butter enough on YouTube.
I reckon if the flash rapidly tensed and untensed his dick in bitches in a
bitch's mouth, it'd sound like a fleshy rattlesnake. That is that is crazy,
because that implies that there's like a loose kind of like almost like in
like a sprake, like a spray. Take can rapidly tensed and untensed.
You can only ten so fast, one every like one tense every two seconds,
I would imagine, right, Likester, that's true. Yeah, free
so buying buying Racons in twenty twenty and them shocking my ear and seizing functions
shortly after the warrant expired. Damn, that's so crazy. I thought my
racons for years. I don't even say that. It's like, I don't
even say that it's a sponsor, Like I get like they helped I mean,
they helped me a lot, but like I mean just genuinely like I
don't know they're they've they've been fine for me. Yeah. Same Uh slurping,
stroking, smoking, joking. Uh, emoticon is going like this morning,
alec Keith David. My name is Pengus Parker. I was bitten by
a radioactive dinner and for over fifteen years I've been YouTube poop many dinner to
the tune of Hey Jude by the Beatles. Hey Dude, come over here,
get on your knees and suck my penis. So it's not bad.
I would have I would have bad. It could be work shopped a little
bit, but that's there's there's something there for sure, there is something I
like that hate Jude, Hey, dude, night Obi, won't you blow
me? Keith David guys at Keith David. It's like spread out guy Abby
to the tune of kids, to the tune of killing in the name of
what sucking? And I'm gay. Uh, I don't know kind know about
that. I don't know. There's there's more to that. And then there's
that that string of hieroglyphics that I couldn't pronounce. Oh yeah, I'm sorry,
man like, oh yeah, that that you translated? That's right,
I forgot yeah, something like that. Yeah, something funny and topical wage
late five eighty three. I feel gay. Fuck you the Pepini brothers and
Porium tries to get Vegeta to say, I swallow come uh on stream nice
uh don donk Donkerson, Quiet, Quentin and Quief and queer Keith David William
Harrington. Let's get down to bussy to defeat these buns. Uh did they
send me p miss when I asked? Asked? Four cover seen that's it's
not mad, alright. So look, we've got a couple. We've got
a couple here, and indeed trots facts inside of Yeah, hold on,
let me write in, let me let me write these downs so you don't
forget. Man. You must be man man, fucking man's good. Man,
that's good, must be sick as of course and no less, let's
I hate that thing in the C word. Yeah, alright, fucking man.
There was another one that was hate hate hate hate you gay gay.
I'm just taking notes, gay, jude, gay you getting bigger coom.
Hello, I love the fucking man, just with all. And everyone's saying
that. Everybody's watching you, fucking other dude. The whole entire group was
watching the dude. Everybody's saying, there, that's really good. I hate
how good that is. And it just makes sense too, because Shang was
like all in the fucking ping, you know, so it makes sense.
She was a little sweet shit out of dude mulan all right, he was
a girl. He was like, I'm gay and I'm fine with it.
I'm fine with not a furry I just I just want to fucking want bat
I mean lesbian. John Strickland armored whole sex fires of fires of rubbing cocks.
So tom uh Mark's a nine. I'm such a I'm such a dog.
I bite at the fart bubbles in the bath. Oh, I know,
I know that's there's this. So there's this video of this guy with
like this. There's this video of this old guy with like a painted on
hairline with like printer ink, and he's just saying all this fucking all this
insane shit. That is the most sub human thing I ever heard in my
life. That is the most almost personally Yeah, I've seen it on TikTok
every now and again. Just it's just some guy just like I don't know
if I can find it, you gotta send you. It is the most
unhinged, like like a dog, Like that's not even that's not even the
most insane shit that he says in that video. It's like that's like on
the lower end of just it's so fucking mind him. He's like, I'm
I can't even replicate it. There's no way, but I'll send it to
you immediately after this episode because I'll be able to find if I'm such a
dog, I bit at the fart bubbles of the bad dude, that's crazy.
Uh. The First Church of Keith David, featuring the Unholy Choir consisting
of six unique and slightly altered clones of Keith David. The Universe where Peter
Parker is a Klansman pre Roz Blake eight nine six Gay Jonah Gamison, chief
editor of The Gaily Bugle Cop shoots a palm, raining out of fear that
Dick is bigger than his elastican oil Field trash, Texas Taylor Salad, peanut
butter and cummy sandwich, Sue Hulk, tickle my ass hair's Nicki Ziggy Marcus.
Marcus's pronouns are he him and doms are was was word that's pretty good.
JFK's head was on. It was an ied every every time I might
come. It sounds like Scoodwood walking Jackson Dupon Badley, Brave Hooker, Derek
Bulk, first Disciple of Fitness of the Fitness Nice. That's a destiny thing.
Uh. Etherean Pejerian hunter, Melpis won Hex played Warlock supremacist and it
is always running out our list, King of Haphazard, thank you so much.
It's bess will start off a little slowe and got more and more insane
as it went on. Yeah, oh here, yeah, man, I'm
a dog. I'm biting the fort bubbles into bath. We're smoking symbios,
were smoking that Whoopie Goldberg, South Egyptian furbird. The lux megamillion screen you
have it is it is fucking so it's called. Uh, the only caption
that's on this is Dracula Flow. I don't know, so, like,
I'm sure if you google, if anybody's listening and you google Dracula Flow,
maybe you'll find it. But it's it's just this guy with this fake painted
on hairline with like printer in with shades saying this fucking obnoxis shit. It's
the first thing that popped Dracula, Dracula the first. His hair is crazy
to the point where I almost wanted to do what he's doing. I like,
I want to smoke his weeds so bad, so bad. Okay,
we're leaving now by we're leaving yea, oh my god, something something crazy
just happened. But like, I'll save it. I'll tell off screen.
That's kind of nuts. Also, also, just quickly, just quickly,
are you guys still recording? Yeah, yeah, Sweeney was right about the
onion. I just wanted to fuck with him. Yeah, I knew you
were a gaslight m I should I should play along too. You guys both
suff So I saw the little onion sitting on tom gonna say shit, you
too. I saw. I was like, that's just a pert. I
saw it. I sawt to it, and I was like, this's just
a purple part of the fucking tomato. What are you talking about? All
right, let's go get the funk out of here.