From Ritmo ninety- six five, Don Luis Minaya with us. Luis,
welcome, how are you? Thank you, thank you, good morning.
It' s convenient how life walks. Life' s fine. Sometimes we
' re the ones who break down. Sometimes yes, yes, very well.
Well, you look good there in your DJ system me. Thank you,
thank you, thank you. What do we have for today? Well,
last week we were talking about the corporate crisis. So today we'
re going to talk about the crisis in people, what' s known as
the existential crisis. The existential crisis is when I' m not satisfied with
what I am, with what I have, where I am, what I
' m doing, the work I have or the life I have, when
I' m not happy, I don' t feel well like I feel
and perceive that I deserve something better, or when my life doesn' t
have the sense that I thought and I thought that at this age I was
going to have. So what I' m doing doesn' t reflect what
I thought, I thought I was going to be doing at this point in
the game, so I kind of don' t feel good, so that
' s an existential crisis, because it has to do with existence, with
one' s life. The truth is that human nature doesn' t matter
where you are. You' re always changing. That thinking that life is
static isn' t so there' s always a change. However, there
are many elements that one must take into account. First, for a reason
you never know the human being. Think that the only ones who grow up
and change are the children and like the world is over when you' re
out of college and you' re out of adolescence, like adolescence is that
transit you have to cross to get out now and enter a life of peace,
tranquility and stability. And it' s definitely not like that. There
are always changes. For us psychologists, always a change is positive. That
is to say, I think I' m going to change, yes,
but they have to be favorable. Of course I do. Changes are always
favorable. There are two situations that mark us and I will be brief.
First, in the development of the life of an adult human being you will
always have to face pleasant and unpleasant situations. There will always be problems,
difficulties and you know what is always the same thing, that is, you
can bring together five teenagers, five adults and five elderly people and the five
go to talk about the same thing as what has happened to him, to
the same thing then because life is like that, that is, the problems
are age- specific. They' re called life cycle, even in marriage.
The problems of a marriage from zero to five are not the same as
five to ten, and so on. So, in life everything has that
moment and then it means that one has to be prepared to face those realities.
The second element is, and that is what you were talking about now,
the blessed social expectations. What the people say, what the people say,
what the culture says, what a young boy with the last name he
has like he should walk in a pipette and he should have those little ones
to menu, as one said right now. So, what does the society
say about an elegant young woman who has to get married, who has to
have children, what does the society say about an entrepreneur, a consultant,
maybe like me, or a doctor, etcetera, etcetera. So, without
realizing it, society puts a very high stress on our status to what I
' m supposed to be. Then they see you on the street and simply
from those standards, they judge you really the way to dress, where in
the restaurants that see you, etcetera, etcetera. So, already today,
everyone knows and understands and believes that there is a standard that is set and
that we have to go to and what the problem is, where the first
conflict begins. When I' m satisfied and I' ve hit the balls
in my life, I mean, I' ve gone well, but I
don' t have a home and the one I have is very far,
but I have an x vehicle. So then. Here it comes in the
first existential crisis that I understand and I would like to hear some opinion of
the century that we are. I think there' s a bigger crisis because
of the social pressure than actually, so I' ve achieved, because sometimes
you say, but you' re young, you' re professional, you
have a master' s degree, you have this, yes, but I
don' t have those, those, but and who it is that puts
those things to you, then it' s supposed and here' s what
' s interesting and hear it well, no matter what happens to you it
' s always for the good that' s true, I mean, no
matter what to you, well, there' s always the one that'
s good that doesn' t come. There is no evil that it lasts
a hundred years or body that resists it, and the night is never darker
than when it is going to dawn. Now, if you go, as
in my case I don' t have, I don' t have that
much ability to walk on the street. The first time I went to Santiago
using the new bypass, I got lost almost getting to the airport this way
when I' m on my way, there' s no sign that tells
me where I' m going. I asked Well, in the end look
motor, right now, I took forward, right, then already now,
second time, well, the same time when I went to face tip the
detour, when I came to see and I was in the middle of the
Roman, then the problem is not to lose you. The problem is to
get lost and stay around, instead of saying I' m going to get
out of here. So that' s the point. No matter where you
are, you have to say good out of here I am going out and,
in fact, and in fact, it is not possible to achieve success
without being lost, without having made mistakes. There' s no such easy
life they' re selling us in the tiktoks and all that and in the
show and in the movies. That doesn' t exist. That only exists
in Hollywood, only exists in Holum. So, what does it mean that
we have to be prepared for crises then, for example, in the crisis
of adolescence, which is the most terrible, it is the most shocking,
it is the strongest of all, because there is the crisis of adolescence and
I will mention it, in case there is any father who has children who
are on their way to adolescence or are there in adolescence, it is like
the border between what is it that I am going to do? I look
like my dad, but I don' t want to look like him.
I look like my mom, but I hate it because my mom is too
soft on my dad and I don' t want to be like that.
What I' m gonna do, I' m gonna do engineer cop and
what I' m gonna live with all those big interrogations. I' m
shy, I' m shy, I' m lazy, that is,
all those questions that are asked in the stage of adolescence. It' s
a crisis. It' s a crisis that we all went through, notice
that, in fact, all the American films that exploit that stage, with
all the film that they' ve made, we all enjoy it because we
all live through those prohibitions, the parents' theme, the awakening of sexuality,
that body that wants to sleep play as if it were a child,
play and everything easy and everything simple. The subject of mathematics is that I
don' t understand chemistry, etcetera, etcetera, bullying, which at that
age is very sensitive. So what is the point where I want to reach
with adolescence and the crisis of adolescence, which needs parents to guide right now
in society. Every time I have to work with children of parents who have
these ages or even who are in because adolescence reaches, say, until nineteen,
when you already start getting out of college. But there you can identify
another crisis. Then, because there parents also face a crisis, when their
children are in adolescence, how to face it, I let it go,
how you notice it, that the point with the parents is that the others
passed them from zero to ten years with the children, eleven years being respected
authority, admired and loved, and suddenly, this boy already begins to disqualify
the dad. Then the dad who learned, who spent ten years being authoritarian,
which is what had authority, because from zero to ten with the children
you have to be authoritarian, that is, you have to respect rules and
rules, but the dad thinks he has to follow the same style. And
it' s quite the opposite. The crisis of adolescence is no longer authority.
No. Now we' re going to talk, we' re going
to talk and we' re going to agree, because now there are consequences
for a six- year- old who doesn' t want to go to
bed. I can' t put a punishment on a child or minor,
and I can' t put him in a castle. So, that'
s why it' s then implemented in the teen crisis. What' s
the critical point. Today, as never before, young people need as much
guidance as they do today. Then, the teenager must be guided, it
must be explained what is right, what is right. You have to say
that you' re hearing is not music. This is the way you dress
that you see on TV. It' s not right, it' s
not necessary. Here we are of such a religion. The values here are
ready, because they' re bombarding him everywhere, everywhere. Sure, then,
how do you do I remember I said there' s a social part.
So, this teenage boy what exactly does a teenager want to belong to
you, very well what your license plate is. All right, and look,
he wants to belong to a group. And that' s where the
boys start telling the big lies, where you start lying because you want to
belong and you don' t smoke, but you take your cigarette, you
don' t take a drink. So, that social pressure, if you
don' t find in parents firm guidance, that' s where you don
' t. Not here. Here, when you go to the table,
you have to come with your commission on. You don' t eat here
without a shirt. Here you have to arrive at this hour. Here'
s the schedule, like this, not like this. Here, then,
in the crisis of adolescence, which is twelve to nineteen, we must study
the presence and the advice and control of the extraordinary parents to the twelve,
from the twelve two to the nineteen that today, in fact, it is
necessary to start about ten to get used to negotiating. You get used to
the negotiating part. But that stage, which is quite, as I said,
critical of parents, because they have a critical role. The next critical
stage is from the 20s to the 40s, from the 20s to the 40s,
people come back again with the same question, because from the 20s to
the 40s it is assumed that everything you said you wanted as a teenager.
I can take it to my house and I want independence. And I want
this and I want to be and I want to lead and I don'
t want to ask. Forgive me, for Blessed be God, he reached
that stage. Let' s go now. So now the true stage has
come, where now you have to become self- sufficient. Twenty to forty
you have to start and what I' m going to live from, what
I' m going to study, what I' m going to do with
my life, what I want. And they know that at that age,
ninety percent of entrepreneurs already know what they wanted. The great entrepreneurs already at
that age of twenty, even long before they were clear, know what they
wanted to where they are going And then the problem of twenty to forty that
choose a highway and leave the city that, if they know what that means
do not explain to us, stops walking on so many roads. Take one
Choose one not to be with a friend here today, a friend there,
a girlfriend one day I find you here, one day it is over there,
not twenty to forty choose a path. Note that in the United States
you are going to choose an important manager before the age of thirty- five.
So the American system is doctoral master' s university, that is,
you have to know then. There are many people who, as I say
when I give cochi what edato is thirty- eight, have two years to
solve all the issues that you have, that is, before the forties,
you have to solve all the most existential conflicts. That is the age where
relationships and attention are established. It is not possible to get anywhere without having
relationships, healthy relationships with dad, with mom, with my cousin, with
my uncle, with my neighbor at work, with everyone it is very difficult
to find an entrepreneur that when you ask him how you came to the success
of today and he will mention up to ten people who on the way helped
him, helped him along the way. So and what it is to help
you on the way Relationships, relationships, that is, everything in life.
It' s about relationships. So twenty to forty, that' s the
thing. So twenty to forty, you have to be clear that this is
what I' m going to live from and this is what I want to
be. In this part there are some crises, there are some situations that
complicate his life and that is that some focus so much his life on the
economics, that they move away from dad and mom, move away from friends
and stay alone. So, that crisis of the 20s to the 40s.
It' s important. We have always heard of the crisis of the forties.
True, of course, then comes another crisis. After the forties he
spends it. The last crisis is when I see St Peter or I see
the enemy already, but then that crisis of the twentieth to the forties does
not stop. I love it because most of the customers I have are there.
All right, I mean, I tell you, look at all this
stuff that you told me, you' ve got thirty- nine left a
year, when you' re thirty- five, all right, you'
ve got five years left to get out of all this, because you can
' t get up to your beak with your backpack from the first floor down
to the top. I mean, there are things. You have to go
solving it. You' ve got to figure it out and see what'
s interesting. When you work your twenty- forty crisis well, you'
re already getting ready for the next crisis. So now the next crisis,
which is not the last one. She' s an old woman, so
if she' s already and until she' s forty, then the other
is forty- two to fifty. Up there, that' s the make,
raise the face. Well, that crisis of forty- one to sixty
- five is a niche already has its niche. I divide it to fifty
in my experience. It' s my real practical experience, because this crisis
has to do with biology, psychology, society, etcetera. But I like
the forty- fifties better, because it' s like the second teens,
like your second chance, it' s like when you' re told to
look here we' re on the border of two countries where you' re
going. So if you' re 50, you' re still not sure
if it' s Jordan or it' s for here, then you'
re in serious trouble. To the fifty that you begin to say already I
am paid that you know the sun because where you want, no, no,
no that, that is at sixty then and otherwise, also without personal
offense, then forty to fifty is where already you are supposed to say.
I' m on the road I want, I' m with the person
I want, in the city I want to do what I want. I
haven' t arrived yet, I haven' t completed, I mean,
I' m in San Pedro and it' s for expensive tip I'
m going and I' m firmly already know absolutely that the route is this
way already the Weis told me there are seven guys on the way with a
gun pointing at me to see if I go faster. I know everything,
I' m going to be fine, I even know I can make a
little stop there in the typical one and I' m in no hurry.
I' m calm enough to get there, because I already know everything,
I mean, I know what' s going to touch me and I'
m ready for that. I' m healthy. You say then, that
' s the person who says I need a diploma, you need to master
this because I' m gonna need it, I need to save for something.
So those crises that can be lived there I come back and I repeat
that it reminds me that crisis means I am not happy, I am not
satisfied. I have a conflict, I have an discomfort, like the one
who' s not like the one who' s in prison. I mean,
I' m uncomfortable. Here? I don' t want to be
here? I feel no, no, I can' t be here?
So, that' s the crisis until you' re 50. Then already
from the fifties, I repeat, you are already on the way. In
fact, for many people the stage of forty- sixty the most productive,
because your brain is more active. You' re supposed to already have an
experience, you know, it' s well located. It' s well
located. You don' t have a European bike, but you know how
to get it out. You don' t have a visa for but you
already, if you know how to say, that age you' re going
to achieve what you want, because you already know how it is. You
' re already pushing the price you have to have. So, at that
age it' s when you hear music and listen to television, I people
talk and say good. I don' t think that' s the way
it is. You already have a personal judgment and you' re in some
way vaccinated against society. Not that aparatage and that, that' s not
it. I' ll take it another way, that is, forty-
fifty you start living your life as you understand it, how it makes sense
to you, it does you good, you don' t care to walk
in whatever vehicle it is and you' re already with the friends you want
to be. Before there were twenty, now and ten, but those are
the real ones, they are the real ones. You used to worry because
you wanted to. You don' t have any worries anymore. Eye doesn
' t mean he stayed that way. No. Quite the opposite now is
that it will produce. But like I said, like when I have to
go to love I go every fortnight. I' m going easy, I
have a meeting there at ten, at eleven, relax, I know I
have to wake up at that hour. I take my ring, my fast
pace, happy, but I' m in trouble. I have the situations,
but I know then in that crisis that most of my clients are between
forty and less than forty- fifty, it is the crises that I come
back and repeat all do not matter. What you are living is for the
good. Now, if you' re living something you can take advantage of,
and you don' t, it' s something else. You know
what' s more surprising when I evaluate people than when I evaluate a kind
of a foda, I give them psychological tests, I mean, but you
have two personality traits here, which are what you need to solve the problems
you have, but you say you' re strong, you say that'
s what it takes to get out of trouble where you are, you say
you are, but that' s what you say you' re what it
takes for this. Obviously, that, as I always say in my house,
if I had to stay alone and prepare food at noon, I'
m going to starve, but it' s not for lack of food.
The pantry is full, but what' s the problem? Not that I
don' t know the know, the know, then there are people who
think they have. If it' s not to have, it' s
not to have, it' s to know, to use what you have
in favor of, yours i mean vi de fish, it' s full,
there' s meat, there' s everything and I could use it
in my favor, but I don' t know. Then there are people
who say I am, I am, but blessed be God. If you
say you are, what you are, then people who are like you say
you are, don' t have the problem you have. Or you'
re gonna talk to a rich man and he' s gonna tell you he
' s got a problem because he can' t pay. But you say
you' re rich, you say you have money, so either it'
s a lie what you' re telling me or you' re bragging about
something that' s not really like that, is that existential crises are typical
of people who are alive today. This peter does, then, but it
also arrives at that act of time. Sometimes you see things, you know
how bad, but you end up accepting me Yes. There, what'
s called it is that you don' t care. Yeah, the brain
has the ability to adapt to things it doesn' t want. That is
what is somehow called resignation, which is nothing but a defeat, which is
nothing but surrendering without even fighting. Certainly, in many of the human crises,
everyone should have at least one friend. Someone to tell a priest.
It' s not once or twice that I' ve sent professional executives where
the priest when I' ve seen him, look here already. All you
have left is to go to Mass, I mean, there' s always
a way out. Now what' s going to be the problem. It
' s not always going to be the one you want, it' s
not always going to be the one you understand. He' s like the
one who dislocates a foot or dislocates something. How we' re gonna straighten
it out for you. You don' t think it' s gonna hurt.
Of course it' s gonna hurt. It' s gonna hurt.
Then straightening things out pretending they don' t hurt is a lie. That
' s why some people go to retreats and get euphoric. They go to
a workshop and get euphoric or lying. Bullshit. The big change. I
' m talking about life change. Not that this Christian said he' s
going to remove his beard over any problems. You go and sit down and
they take it off and you' re gonna get a tattoo. That'
s, that' s simple. But life changes have to hurt. They
' re called type two change, because it' s a change that goes
from the inside out. It' s a conviction. I remember my brother
- in- law, who was an alcoholic, resting in peace, coming
to Tremen delirium and having a situation and doing everything, but one day something
happened that struck him in an extraordinary way and he commented to me. I
took it I got to the bottom of the bottle and I said I never
drink again. And indeed, it was. That is, all great changes
require sacrifices. They have to hurt. Obviously, that pain is what advantage
you have for your next stage. You' re not going to live that
anymore, that' s an example. I know, I' m a
friend and it relates to everyone, but I can' t be friends with
everyone. I like movies, I like drinks, I like this, but
I don' t drink drinks with everyone. It means I' m a
reaper. It doesn' t mean that I segment or reject, but that
there is already an age when you have to feel comfortable. I mean,
I can' t be at a gallero meeting because I' m not me
I don' t know about cock and I don' t care about that.
Then I can' t have three friends who are yesterday then the day
they invite me. Not you have to have true that kind of relationship that
looks like you. Resignation is not healthy. It is not healthy to surrender,
it is not healthy, because it says the word of God, that
God places no burden on anyone with whom he cannot. And it is really
clear that there is and hear well. Only about ten to fifteen percent of
the population know how to get out of their crises. Only a ten to
a fifteen. Others, which may be a ten or a fifteen, go
out listening, listening, reading about those people who have a strong self-
critical formation and reflect. They are analytics and reading themselves can come out,
but the vast majority need guidance, they need help, that is what you
want to go guidance and help They need to go to a place to talk
to someone who can be an important friend or a friend. I always recommend
when my customers are reeling in the marketing part and they have economic problems.
I' m telling you, go meet a businessman who' s doing well
and they don' t have any problems. With advice, go pay him
dinner and talk and talk to him and of course he will tell you everything
you have to do, because there are always moments in him that it will
not be easy to go out alone. Help is needed, guidance is needed.
So my message is no matter how old you are, you' re
always changing. Crises are opportunities. As I said in Japan, the crisis
has one part that they call danger and the other part an opportunity. Of
course you can get out of a crisis because you took the danger part.
I' m not doing that again. I' m going to shine,
and it' s kind of a drama. So I urge you to face
your crises. Lean seek help, seek guidance, and always do what needs
to be done. If you' re getting married, or you have to
get ready to be married. If you' re going to get a company,
or you have to be prepared for that. If you are going to
promote the leader, you have to prepare for that, then everyone has to
be prepared. In the style of the players, the players spend more time
practicing than playing. I believe that the most complicated crisis all that involves the
crisis of adolescence, both for father, yes, involves the entire family exactly.
That stage is quite complicated and you were talking about some guidance, yes,
guidance. Most parents at that stage support and forget about the part of
the orientation. In fact, I would extend the role of father to today
until I was thirty. I mean, I feel very young. I have
to evaluate a lot of people recruiting profiles and there is an extraordinary disorientation or
confusion. You know, Don Luis, who wrote me to a listener and
told me that in cases where you try to heal with your parents, but
parents are what they don' t help, that you have already gone to
therapy and everything, but with your parents you have not been able to have
a healthy relationship. What happens is there' s a mix- up.
There' s a mistake there. It is one thing to re- establish
the relationship, to have a fluid relationship on both sides, and another is
for you to resolve your conflict with them, that is, I forgave you.
I want to talk to you, I want to have a positive relationship,
but it' s two, that is, if the other one wants
it, well, I have to respect it, but I already healed the
relationship, then it' s she you can' t. I can'
t go to a human relationship course so everyone gets along with me, but
I have control of that, I mean, I want to be friends with
you, but there' s always a two- way decision. I have
always kept in my life that when I open it to my heart the one
who wants does not enter, between which I let in and out the one
who wants. But to get in is not my decision, so I get
along with you is my decision and I' m going to do everything,
but it' s two. So she must be reconciled with her parents in
the heart and brain. And to the extent that she reconciles herself with her
parents and forgives him, things are going to change, because she' s
going to start generating a positive energy of opening up pain. When I have
a problem with a brother, no, what happens is that my brother doesn
' t. I hurt myself, I mean, I want to go to
him, but he doesn' t get me that hurts. So that'
s a problem that I hurt because it' s not what I want.
But I have the disposition if he will ever knock on my door. I
' ll get it. That is true reconciliation, true inner healing. Well,
there it is. Thank you, Mr Luis do Luis Minaya. With
us remember Luis Minaya com and we follow the networks out there and thanks to
Luis. Or there' s this morning rhythm. Don' t move. Your ri