You know, good for nothing, eggs sucking dumb. We did it our
way because we love it that way. We love it that way, and
I have this wonderful gut feeling and I've had it all my life. When
it's time to go, I think it's now. There's time to go.
We'll go back to the lapsed Funk and it's time to go international one last
time. Okay, one of a kind delve into the most consequential career in
the history of professional wrestling, that, of course, of Terry Funk and
Boss. You thought the ECW antics with fire and violence and bloodluss was one
thing? Yeah, how about we introduce C four explosives. How about we
introduce panes of shattered glass. How about we just introduced pain for me?
I'm sure you remember as an Attitude era watcher when mcfuley sat down for the
Heart to Hearts with Jim Ross and ended up putting the Mandible claw on him
like any normal human being. On a national basis, they aired clips of
the nineteen ninety five death match series between Terry Funk and mc foley and the
IWA Japan, and we had to bear witness to what the Funker thought it
all came down to in nineteen ninety five, traveling to Japan for a fat
quick payday to fall on bombs. Don't understand. I think by the time
we're done with this leg of the Lapsed Funk journey, you will understand.
Do you think there's a chance of that? No, No, I won't.
I don't understand. I mean again, I have all the respect possible
for for Funk and his willingness to adapt to whatever, you know, to
always adjust in order to be relevant. But I mean, come on,
at some point, you just you know, I think of something else,
like why I guess I guess he enjoys it. I mean, you know,
I guess he enjoys it. Otherwise he wouldn't do it. But I
mean, it just you know, And so far be it from me to
say, you know, knock it off. But I just I just I
don't know. I personally I could not, I could not go to those
depths. What if I I am not familiar with much. I'm only I'm
really only familiar with what was aired on WTV back in the day, which
I found fascinating because as much as mcfoley came into his own as a promo
and showed such amazing ability to have the best brawls in the business in WCW
and became a great promo in ECW. What really was the thing they spotlighted
in the segments we mentioned with Jim Ross that put Mankind over the top as
an on screen character was the Japanese death matches, things that, according to
mcfoley, Vince McMahon had a clear distaste for and didn't think was an asset
of mcfoley's when signing him in nineteen ninety six. And yet it was the
thing that, when showed to a national audience and put in the context of
how mcfoley, the former Cactus Jack became the deranged Mankind, was all they
needed for that magic extra touch. Right, So, if shit, crazy
shit like this was going on in the wrestling business, there were no shortage
of people willing to leverage it, even if they weren't putting it on themselves,
Vince McMahon, there would be an example. But also like the Insane
Clown Posse, for a lot of people, these death matches in Japan.
Their exposure in the United States came from a VHS release. I think they
called it Stranglemania. I think they called it what they do. They somehow
got their hands on the IWA King of the Death Match tournament from nineteen ninety
five and released it with ICP doing English language gimmicked voiceovers calling you know,
they called Mick Foley Cactus Sack for instance. That's funny and played around with
the names and you know, their big time marks of course, the ICP.
And yeah, you could go into your Sun Coast Video or your FYE
or whatever it was, and you could buy this this Death Match Tournament on
American VHS and it was a pretty well selling VHS. It was my first
time seeing the matches with them voicing it over. As a matter of fact,
I still okay the tune na nah nin na. And so it was.
It was kind of like an underground sort of like pulp kind of thing.
You know. I don't really know how to describe it in terms of
movie terms, but it would be like if like The Room was a movie
that everyone heard about but no one could have access to. Well, that
was kind of the case. Yeah, right, isn't that part of its
legend. I'm not too familiar, but yeah, yeah, yeah, like
that's right. You know, for a long time, the only place you
could see it was on Sunset Boulevard. So so it'd be like if if
it aired on like Japanese television and some wacko like group in America got their
hands on it and just shamelessly released it on VHS without I don't think a
lot of particular permission. I'm not quite sure how that all worked out for
that tape, but for a lot of people in the United States that were
wrestling fans and scanning the wrestling section of your video store back in the Attitude
era, this is how they became exposed to it. In addition to what
you mentioned that the WWE segments leveraging the footage, but it's part of the
Lapsed Funk journey that returns us to his overseas presence and his overseas contributions and
the things Terry Funk was doing internationally between the major runs that we've outlined thus
far on the Lapsed Funk, and there was quite a bit of it.
It sprinkled not only through the death match stuff that really started in earnest with
a match against at Chushio Nita in nineteen ninety three, and but also he
was making a huge impact in Puerto Rico. In between some of the runs.
We've been talking about m late eighties, Germany in the early nineties as
well, which is of course his his mother land, which is just hilarious.
You know, we started the whole Lapsed Funk thing about his ancestors coming
to America in Indiana from from Germany and Adam Funke and all the rest.
That's right. Yeah, remember that article we found where they said Adam surgeon,
Adam Funk actually had a German accent. Wrap your head around that.
Adam Funk here to take as the criminals, I feel kill them and it
kills them with pleasure, and then we you know, just a couple of
generations later, we'll go on ahead and you know, going ahead and happen
to kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself with pleasure. Yeah, well,
stay tuned as we go deathmatch, we go International Exploits of the Funker here
on the Lapsed Funk. And before we get to business, of course,
there's a lot of footage to enjoyed. Soak in a lot more if you
can believe it. After all these weeks dimensions to add to our understanding of
what Terry Funk was to pro wrestling across the world. We do want to
thank folks in Earnest for the Patreon support. Just drop the latest under the
cinemat the first, I believe of twenty twenty four, the first of twenty
twenty four, kicking off TLFX in style, and what did we plunge into
a hole that wasn't big enough to accept it? We were ready to rumble,
the absolutely ill fated, atrocious, I don't know, just piece of
vomit. Brand extension Synergy release. Yeah, it's right, that's what.
It was, a brand extension Synergy release. And if that doesn't have you
gassed up, let me tell you about all of our plaid dress Like he's
going to ren fare. I mean that's the truth. He really like,
what a goofball? The fuck is the matter with him? The whole thing
about David ur Kitt winning the part of this, it's all there. It's
a wonderful episode. Yeah, it's a it was a it was a lot
of fun. And you know, as I think, you know, just
like with the with with the main show, I think the the although I
feel like the bad the bad movies end up being a you know, a
suffer to watch, but I do always think we always have more fun with
the bad ones at times. Well, this is like you know, when
you hear the concept of under the cinemat, you know, films featuring wrestlers
are about wrestling. This is one of the first ones. This one of
the first ones. I mean, this has been. This is one that
you know, I think people have have been surprised took so long to get.
What was your strategy terms of when to do it? Oh, it's
I'm playing. I'm playing the David Arqutte long game. Always have been from
day one, I believe. When I started with with the other legs of
that long game, well, the Scream movies. It started off with the
Scream movies. I kind of kept it within the Scream you know. I
was like, so I wanted to do one Scream per scary movie season and
the and believe it or not, he's in five of the Scream of the
six Streame movies, so he uh uh. You know. So I was
like, Okay, well, if we go year by year by year,
we got to figure out I wanted to figure out when ready to Rumble you
know, came about. And then it just also happened to serendipitous that it
was, you know, t LFX and all. So it all worked out.
Unbelievable episode, so much fun, so much going on there, great
to grapple with every frame of that film. And what it said about a
WCW that we talked about was, you know, just starting to see the
licensing deals come through after they had cooled off. You know, that's nineteen
right, Stuff's happening that you know in place in ninety eight when people gave
a shit, and by the time these things came out, it's like,
who is going to go watch a w CW movie. I mean not only
that, but like a goofy one that makes it all look awful totally.
You know, it's one thing if you're going to do it and make a
movie that you know might actually make your product worthwhile. But Jesus Christ,
and if you've been on the fence about joining us on Patreon, first of
all, that should have been your New Year's resolution, yes, But second
of all, this is the time for many reasons. Not only is ready
to rumble sitting there waiting for you. I have it on good authority not
to spoil anything that there may very well be an addendum a one of a
kind addendum to that episode. That is, you never know, perhaps a
late breaking development that you want to be front row to here when we're ready
to unleash it under the cinemat of course, that's available to our executive producer
tier, and above, of course the mote tier for the biggest swinging dicks
in the solar system. And that's a premium price. We understand if that's
too much to stomach. But that's all the goodies, that's all the considerations.
Those are a ride or dies. Those are the people that get the
special void invites to lapsed events. They get Russell Mammia. They get of
course everything else and much more Rustle Mammia too. They just watched this was
kind of funny, So just dropped Bushwhackers versus the Beverly Brothers watched by yep,
watched by Mama sorrow On from Royal Rumble nineteen ninety two. And what's
funny is that if someone made a comment too about you know, they're talking
there. I think my mom maybe asked about the Genius being married and I
said no, and so someone was like, well, wait a minute,
he's been dead, Like when when was this recorded? It is true a
lot of these are recorded way in advance, just to take advantage of of
having you know, a window sow the window, right, I always want
to have a window going with that because you just you never know, and
and so yeah, some of them have been recorded a while ago. That
one I think I also switched up because I decided to have as everyone will
see, I decided to have a Royal Rumble themed January with my mom.
I got it, And so I might have bumped that one from a different
a different time period originally and then dropped it in January, just know.
But as there are those in the can. That's why we can express so
much enthusiasm about getting value for your dollar on the Moat tier, your access
to Wrestle Mambia, because we know it's coming and we know it only gets
better, and we know it only gets crazier yep, And so that should
be reason enough as well as to express support. I mean, you know,
we can't forget upon the dawn of a new year and our tenth year
running here at TLFX, that we've got members of the Solar system and we
know you and we don't forget you for a second. Who pledge much more
than they have to to get access to things. This whole Patreon thing started
because you know, the only way to be a responsible consumer of podcasts is
to pay the hosts, because once you let the middleman and add people and
CPM crunchers decide how much you're worth, then guess what you ain't worth shit.
And you know you only can command the high ad rates if you can
prove independently that you can draw enough money to have enough a base of support
on your own in terms of direct support to sort of turn things down or
to sort of say that doesn't work for me, brother. And it's the
Solar system from day one, despite the fact that they didn't get any exclusive
content in the very beginning, right that our a ride or dies and we
keep you very close in our hearts here on t LFX if you played much
more than you need to. But suffice to say, it's rocking over there
and the Royal Rumble live call is coming. This is always all long for
us. Can't forget the VIP tier and below ten AR tier. Everybody gets
access to our live calls. The three sixteen tier gets them on a three
day delay, but that's of course us watching watching modern w w B premium
live events. You don't have to Yes, how about them premium live calls.
That's right, that's right, we got to have those plc's going,
you got it? And another rumble man, you specialize in rumbles. Just
I do love the I do love the rumbles, and I think, you
know, given given the weird developments of the current you know of you know
what's going on, I am I am intrigued by by the possibilities of a
of a royal of this royal rumble, although I am disappointed that I am
disappointed that that that La Knight's not in the rumble and he's in that stupid
match that I saw the fatal four way. Yeah, yeah, and I
came across my that came across my Twitter feed. Yes, that's always a
great gauge of what's getting across because we come and you know, I don't.
But the boss man comes in as cold as it gets. He is
your He is your stand in for the lapsed fan. When you go on
Twitter and say like or any social media platform and say like, yeah,
but you know, casual fans do wouldn't be in everyone just you know,
even though they're complete wrestling obsessives and think about nothing else than wrestling for fourteen
hours a day. Act like they have some kind of insight into people who
don't want wrestling at all or watch two or three times a year. Uh,
the boss Man is that very person. Yes he is. He is
the He's the only one in captivity that I know of making wrestling podcasts.
So enjoy that experience so much. That's very true. It's actually very funny
and even thought about like that. But yeah, no, I I don't.
I want nothing to do with uh with the current products that we do
with it. I mean, after you hear about it, that tells me
it got through somehow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean I also,
I will be on I won't be on it. I'll be honest.
I won't lie. I am you know, so since you because I always
thought, you know, I've said it before. He pisses me up because
he looks like he looks like this guy's dad that I know, and this
kid's dad, and and and he's a salesman, and he annoys the fuck
out of me. But and so's you know, l A. Knight's a
salesman too, for that matter. But but you know, I started watching
some of his stuff just you know, to see what the what the deal
was, and he's he's very fascinating and I do get a kick out of
him. This is and he actually feels like the most authentic you know,
I wouldn't He's not. Let's be on it. He's not an ass kicker
like Joe is. All right, He's not an ass kicker like Joe.
This is l A Night, Yeah about La Knight. But he's the most
genuine, like non idiotic persona that they have. I think think, I
think he's I think he's just I think what you see on TV with him,
or what I've watched on YouTube and you know, social media and stuff.
I'm like, this guy seems more authentic than anybody else in the fucking
roster. I've been our WrestleMania last year and Cody failing and Boss you called
it. I get a question for you, Yep. When the Rock goes
out to eat after tonight's show, should he sit at the bar, should
he sit in a booth or should he sit at the head of the table.
I think he's gonna sit. I think there's only one place he can
sit, and that is the head of the table. So I'm sorry,
Cody, the story, let me sell. The story's getting finished, just
not with you, pal unreal. So we're gonna watch it unfold another Mania
season in one chocolate block with like you said, all kinds of potentialities,
interesting punks back in the mix, orton every block, Tyson Austin Michael.
Yeah, this is the month to get on board, follow us at least
through the Mania season and have some self respect as we celebrate TLFX. We
do want to remind you that we are definitely loving your testimony. The inbox
is filling up with folks recording audio messages about what tlf is meant to them
and why this podcast keeps rocking like it does great stuff. Will continue to
unload that on a weekly basis to the Solar System and if you have a
contribution, please do send an audio clip of you just speaking off the cuff
of what tlf is all about to you. That's at the Lapsed fan at
gmail dot com and we'll put the best ones up for the whole Solar System
to hear. Is all part of TLFX celebrations and there's a lot going on
on that front. You've heard us talk about it. It's coming up on
January twentieth. There's no room for delay. It's International LATS Day. So
if you follow us on x or if you're on our Patreon or our Discord
or whatever the case might be, Reddit, some of the Reddit threads and
stuff, you can find a moment in the TLF archives in celebration of our
ten years that you remember but can't locate. And these guys have access to
a wonderfully beautifully crafted database of transcripts of pretty much everything we've done. This
is the folks at the Lapsed power Plant, and they're going to be at
the ready, fingers on the keyboards for you reach twentieth to send your requests,
and they're going to find those moments in our ten years of recording and
let you know where you can find said clips. Go back in the archives
listen again. You know, there's so many little offhanded things we say that
mean something with people. We never can tell what's going to resonate, and
so it can be that much harder to remember what show had happened in because
often it's a tangent that has nothing to do with the title of the episode,
which is the way it has to be I'm convinced of that after ten
years. Of course, of course, you know it needs to be hard,
right, It needs to be difficult. It can't be something easily found,
it can't be something sort of cynically produced ahead of time to say no,
that is right. The whole magic here is we don't have to give
a fuck about anything besides saying what we feel like saying, and yes,
more importantly, saying what needs to be said. That's right, So do
be ready to hit us up at the lapsed fan on X is probably the
best way to hit us up and to let folks know in the in the
Solar system and the power plan in particular, what time codes from lapsed archives
you want to be able to retrieve, you want to be able to help
find and it's all over the place. Here's just the PSA on that front.
At Very Long Last, as part of TLXF celebrations, there is finally
a project underway. The goal is to collect and organized time codes of the
Solar System's favorite spots from ten years of TLF. So if you've already have
time codes for your favorite moments, that's great. We're currently working on a
form for submitting them to a very formal TLFX celebration effort that's underway. But
if you don't already have those time codes, the lapsed power plant. Using
an idea from our very good friend and tremendous listener, Austin Kingsalver is organizing
the multiplatform spot finding event to help you pinpoint them. Experienced LATS database users
on hand and ready to assist. Members of the Solar system on x,
Patreon, Reddit and discord generate twentieth for International LATS Day. Any recollection you
have of your spots will be helpful for finding them any key words or anything
you might remember. We keep in mind that direct quotations are by far the
easiest thing to search for, and that said volunteers no LATS they know tlf
better than anybody you could argue, so there's a very good chance that they'll
be able to help you find the in many ways better than us. Oh
and hunter ways better than us. You know, there's no way. No.
I can never remember saying as much as some of these listeners remember me
saying, or use ten I remember ten percent. Maybe if that ten percent
of what was said, maybe that's your best. Maybe, yeah, that's
your best assessment. Yeah, unbelievable, so much going on for TLFX.
We're so excited to unload on you. Just just unload on you, you
know, Yes, indeed, absolutely give it to you, you know,
and hard in that ass all over the place. Yeah, it's gonna it's
gonna be a really messy year in the best possibility one. So let's keep
it messy. Let's put Terry Funk his fifty plus year old ass exploding wingers.
But before we get there, where did it come from? I do
you have barbed wire and wrestling matches? Fire and wrestling matches? In a
lot of ways, people point to Puerto Rico as the ancestral homeland for this
heightened level of violence. Of course, Puerto Rico it's been always a very
violent territory, and the likes of Carlos Cologne and others, and even as
soon as the late eighties were lighting the ropes on fire and putting barbed wire
around the ring and around the ring for some hyper violence. And at Chusho
Nita, who created FMW which introduced the idea of exploding bomb matches and all
that high level spectacle, cut his teeth in some degree in Puerto Rico and
became acquainted with the business by being a huge fan of Terry Funk's and also
his exploits, not only in Memphis, but also you know, across the
territorial system in the United States. The legacy of the death match, Ambarillo,
Texas, all of that that we've talked about in our all japan episodes
that meant so much to Japanese fans of Terry Funk at Chushioita breaking into the
business as a junior heavyweight in the early eighties and al Japan Pro Wrestling was
every bit the fan and every bit is plugged in to what made the funks
the funks here in America as any other person in the audience at AJPW.
And so the Puerto Rico is it's a sensible time, That's what I'm trying
to say. To look at Terry Funk's Puerto Rican career, okay, because
there is some connectivity there. There's always connectivity, and if there isn't one
off finding God and furthermore, one loose end, if you can believe it,
that we've left out there is what happened to Terry Funk in terms of
Japanese wrestling straight, not death matches, but just you know, continuing to
wrestle in straight wrestling matches in nineteenth thty three retirement. That's a very good
point because he did return to the Rings of All Japan, and we've made
several references to it with the sort of an awkward dynamic in the air.
The fans, of course bought into that incredibly heartfelt, tearful goodbye promo that
Funk cut in August of eighty three after the Tag League finals. But he
did come back, and he came back much sooner than I think the Japanese
public was expecting, and didn't really come back for any of the reason than
because All Japan wanted him back and the payday was there and they still needed
a boost. But it left a bitter taste in the fans mouths in terms
of, you know, really believing in what Terry Funk had told them and
really kind of expending all of their emotion about the guy. So what he
does come back, it's sort of like these one off attempts to keep All
Japan afloat. We mentioned when we did the WWF part of the series that
Funk was one of the guys who won special dispensation to go to Japan and
work for BABA as opposed to WWF Japanese promoter New Japan. We're Hogan,
Andre and alike were kept, but he was allowed and only to come into
WWF but also continue to work for All Japan, which is of course the
office that his family was aligned in from the very beginning nineteen seventy two when
New Japan and All Japan were created and began feuding with each other. So
we're really looking here at a new stage of international exploits for the Funker,
picking up where we left off in eighty three in Japan as well as going
to some of these other countries we referenced. And we turned to his book
to set the table a bit. All right, I'm going to share this
with you, boss. This is yep, the words of the Great Funker.
Mm hmm. And he's going to go ahead and when ahead and I
just sat down, what a story? His account is? Going ahead,
if you sit down. I went ahead and decided to put pen to paper
and didn't know what I was going to do with it. Ended up drawing
a tic tac togue game playing with myself, and I lost the company I
came back to in late nineteen eighty four was somewhat different than the one I
left. All Japan score. I'm sorry he retired in eighty three and he's
back in eighty four. Yep, what's the problem, it's the fun there.
All Japan scored what was considered a major coup in nineteen eighty four when
Ricky Choshu, one of Anoki's top stars, and twelve other wrestlers from New
Japan jumped to our side. Well, it was a coup, but after
they got all go to All Japan, it became a chaotic, A chaotic
coup, the chaotic coup. And I mean that sincerely. That was another
one I picked up on that funk always says sincerely, I mean I mean
met sincerely. The other stuff, which you know I didn't mean sincerely,
Well I meant that kind of sincerely. I didn't mean this one completely sincerely.
And working with and what a worker, A worker, worker, that's
all he is. What I said right there, what I said right there,
that was completely insincere. I really don't think getting them was a smart
thing to do, and never did. We ended up with too much of
a crew, more than even Baba could handle, but we got were more
guys vying for main event positions, and we had main event positions, not
even counting the main event guys we already had there. I don't know,
I don't know why, but for some reason, this is just I feel
like he just seems like somebody just making a bigger deal out of nothing.
I know this is a big deal, you know, but like I feel
like he's a guy who makes a big deal out of nothing. Sometimes there
is strengthen number out of something that's right as well, there is strength in
numbers, but Baba got the numbers a little out of balance there. I
think the proof of that is that almost the whole group jumped back to New
Japan a few years later. They were a click, and clicks can cause
chaos because they started from a stronger position than a single individual. I was
glad to have Choshu because of his stature and Yoshiaki Yatsu, one of the
wrestlers who jumped with Choshu, was a good guy who I liked. But
Choshu wanted more control over the matches than Baba wanted to give him, so
Choshu wasn't gonna be happy and when Choshu wasn't happy, None of those guys
were happy. In addition to the seventy five hundred a week, yeah,
in addition to the seventy five hundred a week I got for Paradise, Ally,
the movie also helped me in Japan in terms of exposure. When I
was filming the TV series wild Side in nineteen eighty four four was it eighty
four? Yeah? I think it was. Actually, I think it was
eighty four. I got ten thousand dollars a week, and I was getting
that huge money for not wrestling. Compare that to the seventy five hundred a
week I was making in Japan for helping book and for killing myself every night
in the ring. I loved Baba, loved Missus Baba, and loved Wally
Yamaguchi, one of Baba's right hand men. I also loved I also loved
sushi, and I also loved taking my time with what what. I loved
taking my time with things. And I also love just strolling down the street
with a horse and say that I thought you were reading that. Oh these
are among the things he loved them. I can argue with the point,
but the fact that I loved these people. Didn't keep me from seeing that
I wasn't getting everything from All Japan that I probably could have there. It
is so it's Funk returns to in All Japan that is overflowing with acquisitions.
You know, the war was so pitched in eighty four that, as he
mentioned, Boba perhaps overdid it with the amount of headliners he brought in and
created a head case locker room. But at the same time, you know,
he had seen going to work in Hollywood that he could make more money
easier than even he could make in All Japan, which was far and away
the most lucrative place Terry Funk worked, and most American wrestlers throughout the seventies
and eighties, the Japanese pay days were so good that they always went there
if they could. So that kind of, I don't know, that sort
of illustrates the subtle distance that's being created between Terry Funk and Giant Baba in
four. Fast forward a decade and Funk is that distance is so wide because
Funk helped get at chus Sho Nita started and FMW is a strong number three
promotion situated very similarly to how ECW was situated Visa v. The Big Two
in America in the night. But then he goes to Iwa and it's now
they're now on such opposite ends of the spectrum that Funk feels so in boldened
to go ahead and work for New Japan for a couple of shots, which
was a gulf he never bridged before. You know, that was like a
place he would not go. That was an offer he would not entertain.
But come a May of nineteen ninety five, he's in Fukuoka Dom in front
of forty eight thousand with Mudo and Shinya Hashimoto in the headliner, and he's
making his New Japan debut after spending nearly his entire career being a booker and
top star for AJPW, where he teamed with shir Kushinaka to beat Masa Chono
in here Mitchi Fayuki. So we're about to sort of illustrate how the Funk
took those incremental steps, how the Funker took those incremental steps away from that
that all Japan loyalty that in so many ways defined his most successful early years
of his career. He writes in nineteen eighty five, Junior and I got
to work with the two guys who had become probably the top drawing tag team
in the world, Mike keg Strand and Joe Lorianidis, better known as Hawk
and Animal the Road war So we're going to sample the Funk Brothers versus the
Road Warriors now boss as it took Al Japan, but it also took place
in Puerto Rico as well throughout the eighties. So when we talk about Terry
Funk turning right around after retiring eighty three and coming back to Al Japan in
eighty four, this was among some of the more defining matches he had.
They also wrestled against the British Bulldogs in Al Japan. If you can wow,
let that sink in a bit, that's wild. So that exposed Terry
to you know, dynamite kids working style and got him all gassed up about
going to the WWF and working with them. A couple of other yeah,
gassed up a lot of ways. But as far as the Road Warriors go,
they had just you know, broken into the business. The AWA,
which of course had a strong relationship with Al Japan in terms of talent sharing,
had begun to feature them prominently. They of course met each other and
trained together under Eddy Sharky in Minneapolis with so many of the other great from
Minnesota like kennig Rude and Darsow, and I can go on and on.
Of course I keep a cool off. But the Road Warriors were now getting
exposure in Japan all of a sudden, despite being still relatively green in the
business, but really showing box office spark for vern and so that meant Japanese
exposure as well, and the Japanese created this whole The Japanese promotions, fans
magazines, i should say, and promotions created like this whole mystique of how
they like The Road Warriors were essentially descended from a spaceship. Okay, they
did these vignettes where they arrived via space ship on planet Earth. Oh yes,
I remember, Yeah. I think we watched them for something they almost
definitely did, and they played around with them. I bet we watched him
paint off the Pacific when Road Warriors fought Hogan and ten Reyu And maybe I
also like, maybe we did it for Art of war Games too, sure,
and we depicted on the Road Warriors episode a episode of Dark Side of
the Ring as well. They show them like walking the streets of Chicago and
eating like roadkill and just raw chicken, and having they're aliens, right,
which is just not too far from not too far from what actually happened.
They're alien monsters. So they're being strongly biss with a big backstory and all
kinds of magazine coverage and being treated like these exotic monsters with the big spiked
shoulder pads. And these were the Road Warriors that came to Altapan in nineteen
eighty four to battle, you know, the most pretty much the most legendary
tag team in AJPW history and Dorian Terry Funk. And we're gonna get a
taste of what the sort of post Funk retirement Al Japan sense was, like,
Funk writes in his book. At that time, they were probably the
best box office attractions in the world, aside from Hulk Coogan. I was
left working with him except for one thing, Mike Hegxtrand. Road Warrior Hawk
loved to imitate me. So every time I saw Hawk, I'd have to
listen to thirty minutes of him doing Terry Funk before we started talking about the
match. I mean, I don't know, I cannot picture my how would
Hawks Terry Funk sound of Well, I went ahead and I went to town.
Did you make the town? Though? He really loved me, But
I think that might have just been because he could imitate me. So I
don't know. I don't know if he did it. I can't imagine him
doing it really well. I know Hawk had this whole like I don't know,
he had this whole like reputation as being a hilarious guy behind the scenes.
And you can see a little bit of it, you know, when
he does like the natural disasters, we like to throw your weight around,
sour and gory. You could tell he's a guy the kind of total stuff.
But I don't know. I cannot picture him imitating Terry Funk. You
know, no me neither being his line, that seems so let's get situated
here. Thanks to Joelry not its animal, who of course wrote the Road
Warrior's book and is going to hear boss stuff. You can share it with
the people. Walk us into the AJPW they arrived in. I'm telling you
having Baba as an ally with his open door policy to the Road Warriors was
an asset we took full advantage of. We were having big fund developing a
classic international rivalry with Jumbo and Tenru. We were set to collide with them
yet again on October twenty first, on a card that featured Rick Flair and
Rick Martell in an NW way a w A Battle of World Champions. But
the night before we could get our hands on Jumbo and ten Room, we
had a long overdue first encounter at the Industrial Hall in Chizuoka. Hizuka is
it? Chizuka is a woka? Yeah? Chi's Anuka? What brother sheiz
dude? She is? You know, brother hitting the shiz, double shiz,
double shoes dude against another fabled American team, El Funkis that's what they
called them in Mexico. From what that's right? Because uh Dorri Funk Junior
and Terry Funk were two of the rowdiest Texan cowboys. I mean, Joe,
Joe. The last thing Dori Funk was was rowdy. I can't okay.
The man's the man. The man is comatose, the man is lo
bottomized. Oh what what huh? Oh? I guess I'll do it if
you say so. Terry uh the rowdiest profess Texan cowboys entered the professional wrestling
business, and I've been legends in Japan since we were out of diapers.
Okay, I don't think so. Actually, no, I don't think so,
pal, But okay, uh build from the Double Cross Roads. Animal
wore a diaper until he was twenty eight. If we had got that,
that's a good point. All about that used to ship himself bouncing it.
They said they pampered him and people got the wrong idea. That's good.
They build from the Double Cross ranch in Texas. Dori and Terry had both
been in the business since the mid sixties, and we're both former NBA World
Heavyweight Champions. For years, they'd teamed on and off, winning every major
tag team championship available in the territories. The Funks versus the Road Warriors was
yet another showdown of the old regime against the new, only this had the
additional appeal of being on foreign soil. All of the American wrestling journalists were
on the first flight over to make sure they had it covered for magazines like
Pro Wrestling, Illustrated, The Wrestler, and Inside Wrestling. Although we had
nothing but respect for Dory and Terry outside the ring, when we came shooting
down the aisle, brother, what that wasn't Terry, Brother, I just
can we hold on, dude, Let's call a figure it. What do
you mean shooting down the aisle? Brother? Right? Like, what if
I'm not the asle to shoot with? Like, dude, what about what
about? How about just kind of working down the aisle? You know?
How about that? Brother? We just look back a bit and think about
you guys. That's not you know, I understanding you guys have a thing.
Brother, you have that, you have an aura you got to keep.
And I dig that, dude. I totally dig that. Brother.
But let's kind of dial this thing back in, dude, and figure out
exactly how this can benefit all of us in the same scenario. Dude,
And I think shoot up benefit we go back. I was kind of dial
this thing back in, brother, and kind of you know, see how
we how now all this can benefit hul Hogan as well as the road Warriors?
Are we? I mean? Brother? You know dude, we're talking
business, dude, business, Hey, Terry Brother. I don't think they're
talking about you, pal. They're shooting on us, brother, but brother,
he's shooting I'm Terry, dude. Do you see what's going on?
Brother? Who knows which Terry's shooting on right. He says, it's you,
brother, But I'm sitting here, you know, I mean, what
y'all here? I am, dude in Tampa. Dude, you guys from
Japan. How do I know the road Warriors aren't behind me in my house?
Dude? Do you hear Hogan popped a airbag to save a teenager?
I did hear about that first pop. He's been a part of him sometime.
Let's say it's a loud as poppies heard in years, shooting down,
Yeah, shooting down the aisle like locomotives on the verge of derailment. We
dove under the ropes and treated them as we did everybody else. Total blast
load. The animal is just chock full of like extreme sportsn he's He's just
a fucking idiot, like you can read his books describing an energy drink or
his career. Were talking about a porn here, Full blast load, Total
blast load. Hawk chopped Terry right out of the ring while I pushed Dorry
back into the corner, letting him go, letting him go in favor of
a better idea that popped into my head. I bailed out and ran around
the other side to where Terry was still getting up from Hawk's chop over the
top. I grabbed him by the head and whispered, press, then shut
what a business give me? Then shut him straight over my straight up over
my head. Then I walked him over to the bottom and second ropes and
inserting him neatly inside the ring like he was a quarter for a vending machine.
He's got away with words, doesn't he? You know what the other
Terry had? Press whispered into his ear. Yes, or he was about
to step out of the fucking courthouse for the thirtieth Every time he leaves a
courtroom, Terry press nobody yet, I mean he worked with Look, I
got you, dude, all right, here we go, up we go,
brother, hoof? I mean wo, I got my lawyer, Dude,
I got my lawyer. In other words, there's Press on the other
side of this door, Terry. As much as they whooped at lod,
nobody whispered press. And Terry's eer more than David Houston. Oh good,
um, I mean dropped him like a quarter in a venting machine. It
was the first time I ever did that spot, and it became a permanent
go to from that moment. On. As soon as he landed on his
ass, Hawk was there to greet him. Their whole exchange ended with Hawk's
favorite pile driver spot from Lawler Lawler slash Idol, where Terry picked him up,
picked him upside down, drove him onto his head, only to see
Hawk bounce bounce one more time before no selling it and standing right back up.
In hilarious three stooges fashion, Hawk started slapping the top of his own
head with both hands. Imagine that's your spot, not selling the other guy's
move. Pretty a good deal if you can get it. Yeah, right,
it worked for them. I mean it's not like it was totally it
was always epic, but it was always kind of like, Okay, that's
it, and so let's prepare ourselves to toggle over to disc thirteen. Disc
thirteen. At very beginning, this is Terry and Dory Funk in All Japan
against the Road Warriors, October nineteenth, nineteen and eighty five. As we
get that sense of a post retired Terry Funk in the Al Japan Ring,
I can't from the beginning around the block of the road Warriors right at the
beginning. Yeah, we're right at the beginning okay, and we're gonna take
this in. It's it's trunk it it's not it's not a long thing.
I'm not even sure it's an entire match, but we're gonna now experience it
in three two one play yep. Here they come like fucking madmen. Jesus.
Oh, head over, heels off therek chop hits the deck. That's
what he's talking about. And there goes Animal leaving the ring ready to fucking
knock him of his head off. These guys there it is, here we
go press Hi, yeah for the press. That was the coin slot.
Yeah, that's a coin slot on the floorid to the ring. Funking.
So here we're going to get this is w w F Terry Funk close,
yes, totally elbow from the elbow, back and head. Where's the pile
driver spot? Come on? Oh yeah, I can tell with the go
t too, Terry Funk with the go to. Noah, he's uh,
he's put on a little poundedge since last time we saw him in Japan.
Oh yeah, definitely been uh getting those going ahead w W. He's going
ahead and getting a burger is what he's been doing. Up Here comes story
in there. I guess uh, I guess Animal forgot about all this other
stuff that happened in between. It's a wild and think of l O D
doing this in Japan one, Yes, fucking funks, you know, Jesus,
the un CO World Warriors. All right, off doctor, Oh there
it is. It goes Doctor comes staring, dunk Ye seizing on boom and
they go anyhead. He's not on both mohawks, that's right. Dory stands
there completely flummoxed. Oh, Terry, he's really hurting me. Terry,
he hit me hard? Can we stop? Can you tell him to stop?
Please? Back suplex from the from Dunk and now Terry tagged in double
whip by the Funk Brothers. Hawks set in and turned around but not quite
dropped. Terry still the fucking you know, he's still the cyclone in there.
He's still the whirlwind. He's still the action. Oh Jesus. Terry
backdropped, caught his neck on the rope. It in the apron tagging down
Animal Big off the ropes Power Slam Center ring by Animal Klauser. So it
gets to, like I said, this is the REMCO Road Warriors here.
Yes, for sure, chance for Terry who ducks, the lariat, snatches
of Sleeper still beloved. There's a distance, but he still loved. You
know. It's oh, come on, I mean he's kind of cheated these
fans out of his retirement totally. It's like you couldn't have waited a year.
There's Paul ella Ring up on the apron. He was already the Road
Wars manager in real life and in on camera. Yes, it's a Dorian
Hawk at the floor exchanging forearms. I mean, while Animal sets in,
Terry to the ropes, Terry puts an elbow in and all the road Warders
are doing to sell is stumble around. I'll look at this Paul Ellering pushing
Animal's ass on top of a Wow Terry Funk for some illegal leverage, and
the road Warriors in fact have to cheat to defeat the Funks here in Japan,
and Terry up from behind inside cradle on Animal. I guess that wasn't
a three rough as counting again two count They hit Streamers in the ring and
everything. I thought that was the finish brother. That's not peer four brawl
breaking out. Now that ring cut in half in a very clear, color
coded way for the Road Warriors. It really is. Actually that's really funny
at Tag Team Psychology to the floor, go Terry and Animal while Dorian Hawk
go to the other side. And it's gonna I think it's gonna be one
of those all Japan double count outs boss that all the makings, but still
the kind of selling from the funks that I think these people are going to
want to come back to see the Road Warriors. You know what I mean?
Yeah, totally. Oh it's Hawk crowned the sood Oh here we go.
They both got chairs. Here's the bell yep, yep. It's like
a sword fight duel here between Terry Animal with chairs and Dory Ambush's Animal with
a chair shot. Oh god, back to the chic Abdullah Brody Hansen,
you know what I mean, all out, But I thought Terry just fell
on the table. Idiot. This is chaos ding ding ding ding ding ding.
You know what's funny, Like as much as much respect as I've gained
for Terry Funk, I've lost whatever I had for Dori Funk. Yeah,
he's out there putting effort in No, he's out there just taking licks.
So Hawk and Dory locked up all the way to the back while Animal puts
Terry Funk across the announced table. Ultapan personnel and their jumpsuits try to separate
these guys. There we go and there sucking wind like never before. My
god, he is like exhausted. And then he takes off again up the
aisle after Terry, all everyone and all these spectators standing trying to get a
glimpse of what might be happening behind the Isleway curtain. That'll do it for
I believe the first collision between the Funk brothers and the Road Warriors here,
that's wild. Ye. The Road Warriors come back out. Arm Rays talk
with his hands high like whatever happened back there, he feels good about it.
They're kind of booing him. They're booing them. Oh yeah, they
were definitely definitely heals. Lord James Blear, is there belief? Oh they're
going they're going back to the heel dressing room. Oh god they want Yeah,
that's a rule of wrestling. If you if your heels, you brawl
with the guys through the back end of the babyface locker room, you have
to stop. Make sure you do it in your in your room. We
can pose it there. So there's a glimpse. Sure, and the Road
Warriors are well on their way to make a sizeable impact in the rings of
Japan as well as the United States. Things and no small part to the
Funk Brothers and as animal rights, the main objective of entertaining the a J
p W crowd with NonStop action was achieved and a decisive winner wasn't even needed
in a match like that one. Everybody came out shining. It's kind of
short for that. But I get what he's trying to say. I guess,
I mean, no, I don't know. I mean, I guess,
I guess. I don't know. I don't know if it one came
out shining. I think I think that the Funks made the Road Warriors shine.
Yes, that's right, that's right, you know. I don't think
that the Funks came out shining. I don't know if they needed to either.
But that's that's the kind of thing if you're the Road Warriors just bulldozing
everybody you work with with like one year in the business, that you have
to tell yourself, is it right? Others are shining when really all they're
doing is putting you over and letting you do your stick. But it was
it was to everybody's benefit at the time, as the Road Warriors became really
some of the top attractions in wrestling internationally from eighty five on. So when
you turned back to Animal's Book, because the memories weren't done being made on
this date, nineteen eighty five in Japan, because we have plenty of postmatch
celebrations to document as well that involve the Funker in a very important way.
Boss, we go back to the Animal's Book. Later that night, when
I told some of the other boys the big news, they unanimously decided to
throw me an impromptu bachelor party. So right after the show, Rick Flair,
Paul Hawk, and a Japanese he's repped from AJPW named Wally Yamaguchi went
to a restaurant known as the Hama Steakhouse, one of the most exclusive in
Tokyo. Usually closed on Sundays, Hama Steakhouse opened up just for us thanks
to a phone call from Baba. That night was the first night I ever
experienced Kobe beef, which, for those of you who hadn't had the pleasure,
is the most tender and juiciest meat in all of Japan. Legend has
it that Kobe beef cows are fed a beer per day with their grain and
also get daily massages with sake. While we stuffed ourselves with every entree and
piece of Sushihama could offer. We also got hammered off our rockers on mugs
of beer and flask after flask of piping hot sake. The big kicker of
the evening came when we got back to the hotel at and Flair wanted to
wake up Here we Go, who was passed out in his room from a
long day. Rick started pounding on the door while laughing, open up,
day. We know you're in there, and we won't take no for an
answer. Terry never answered. That was good enough for Flair, so we
kept on pounding. This won't do animal, This won't do animal. Three
point stance. I know I knew where he was going with this, so
I got down in a football position and waited for my orders. Rick raised
his arm and then dropped it like a firing squad captain, yelling go at
which point I launched at the door, smashing right through. Guys, it's
a hotel, like complete complete fucking like this is yes, like come on,
smashing right through the flimsy lock mechanism. The door was literally hanging off
the hinges. When we cut inside, there was Funk naked and passed out
with ice bags wrapped around both knees. It was hilarious. What was funnier
was that he was so trashed himself that he never woke up the entire time
we were in there. He must have had a great time explained trying to
explain what the hell happened to the door to management, let alone remembering for
himself. Thanks Joe naked, passed out, ice bags wrapped around both knees,
witnessed the Funker upon his return to All Japan post retirement. Oh,
I want ahead, and he also went ahead. And you know, more
to come as it regards Dory Funk and Terry Funk versus the Road Warriors as
we get to Puerto Rico in the eighties. But we're going to take a
quick jaunt around the globe here, all right, because we're going to get
a taste of the Funker in Germany, in the Motherland. This is an
underdocumented part of not only Terry Funk, but so many wrestlers careers. Auto
Vantz, who of course ran to catch Wrestling Association pretty much the lead prog
wrestling organization in Germany for years and years, kind of like the Big Daddy,
you know, the big fat local baby face on a European wrestling service
would have all kinds of guys come through, and it was for extended times,
like you lived in Germany for months. I'm not sure Terry Funk did
that, but I know Owen Hart did and many others in the late eighties
and early nineties, and it was a great way to get exposure in front
of crowds that really had no you know, context. You just you either
learned to get over with them or you didn't. You know, you didn't
have any advantages, you didn't have any disadvantages. You just were able to
figure out what gets over in front of a crowd that's, you know,
pretty cold to you and doesn't know you, and what you can do in
the ring to get over with them. And so Terry Funk got the call,
I believe for the first time. It was in nineteen ninety and we're
about to get a taste of Auto Vants, who we've never I don't think
we've ever seen wrestle before on No, we have never. We've talked about
him at nauseam. We've never seen them. It's just, you know,
when you think about all the mount Rushmore tie that Terry Funk wrestled in every
ring in every part of the world. Yeah, you know, it's just
something that you can also add auto moans to that list. He's got to
be one of the few that has that box checked as well. And we'll
take a look at it. But before we do, let Funk's books set
a bit of context. Here. Bob Junior, he's talking about Bob Barton
Junior and I worked a tour of Germany for promoter Atto Haunts, which turned
out to be a nightmare for poor Otto. I was always something of a
nightmare for Otto, but I had nothing on Bob Orton. He was just
a maniac over there. Bob was laying into Germans on the street, executing
wrestling takedowns on them like you do. Yeah, they were left with just
socks. The sandals went flying. I imagine it was like he thought the
Second World War was still going on. I liked Otto. I went forty
minutes with Otto once. It won't be forty minutes, don't worry. This
must be what he's talking about. Though. We did a big match right
before he retired. Over there, they did matches in three or five minute
rounds. Did you know this boss rounds? No, I was not aware
of rounds. Gonna get a taste of that as well. Here the last
and I don't remember how many rounds we went, Terry writes, but we
tore the house down because of Otto's ability to get over to his fans as
an in ring performer. He was just amazing. I'm not saying whether he
was amazingly good or amazingly bad, just amazing. But I'll tell you this,
Big Otto was over like a son of a gun over there, because
he understood what he could do, and he understood what the people wanted.
He gave it to them. There were some European workers like Tony Saint Clair
and David fit Finley over there, and there are also some real crowbars too,
some guys who I thought shouldn't even be there. I used to think
the same thing about some of the guys my dad brought into work, Ammilla,
Dad, I used to say, why do you keep that guy around?
He can't do a thing. Son, It's my company, and I
like the guy. I want to re make a living, he said.
He kept guys just for that reason, which was a perk of being a
promoter, and it was something Auto did to for the same reason. Even
today you can see examples of Vince McMahon doing the same thing. He takes
care of people just because he thinks they're good people. Not so sure about
that. I love going to Germany. He usually takes care of him because
they got something on him. I loved going to Germany because I had relatives
in the little town of Kroudhousen. Okay, ladies, and gentleman Kraudousen.
Who's Kroudhousen I mean he had relatives in Germany still, Terry Funk. Oh,
Croudhusen was a town. Oh, I see, not dan House,
crowd Frowhouse, German dan Housen. They're gonna use that one on aw and
act like they came up with it. It'll be fun. They treated me
and like my family and never left there. Two of them were teachers,
and they had children who played the cello and piano, who were highly educated
and refined. Made me wonder the hell happened when Adam Funk crossed the seas
to get to America. I've been worrying that exact same thing. Germany was
a great place for guys to work. It's a real shame that the promotion
isn't there anymore. Otto would bring guys in and we'd work the same building
every night the whole summer. They changed the matches, but we were in
the same building every night. It really taught guys how to be creative because
you had to be in that situation. You had to change up your match
every night. Having to work that more scientific German style and always adapting helped
give a guy a sharper wrestling mind because you always had to adapt and change.
Plus you have to be real enough that they came back the next night.
So I want to see how Terry Funk does that, what his interpretation
is. I'm fine with that. Disk seventeen. Disc seventeen. This is
from right before Christmas nineteen ninety December twenty second, to be exact Germany.
Terry Funk expands his horizons and therefore expands our horizons. Here Attolph hans By
battling Autovhants in Germany. It's at the one forty seven to ten time code
mark two and the video quality is horrendous. For some reason, it's so
degraded that it looks black and white. Actually, but yeah, I can
see that. That's what we get Audovants stressed up in a kind of like
a Vader singlet, but with sleeves. Okay, I'm ready. Here we
go, three two one, play gentlemen, good evening, and welcome,
as we witness at the end of Along the Way, Kid, Farewell Pie,
the farewell fight in the history of world wrestling, Auto vans on alongside
me. I win Storm a w A World wrestling champion, a w A.
You must go to play opportunity to look at Vance Invader, Yeah,
right, was another world champion. Remember he was saying he had like six
world titles or whatever. This so after a series of short splashes in the
corner from Vance, Terry Funk hits the floor. So this is rather historic
being framed up here as Auto Vance's final match. That's pretty wild. I
did not realize that. You know, Funk talks about working Auto Vance,
but I don't think he realized it was a farewell bout. Look at Funk,
you know, I mean we've seen him in ec W. We just
saw in All Japan. This is a different THNK adapt into the purpose walk
up to the corner. Funker hauls off with open hand shots on atto fans
getting the Schnitzel beat out of him here and the spatsl too. Yeah,
and there's plenty to come out by the looks of things. Can you imagine
the imagine the feast he had. Oh god, so much food eating by
this guy. It's unbelievable. Really, forget Dan House and more like leader
Hosen as funk peppers and with lefts in the corner of Vince looks to grab
Funk. But I say, massive man that this guy was like the big
baby face that they came out for it. She's so funny to me,
what a man I love. I always the Funker and shoots him into the
corner, big pop for that. Oh god, I mean he trots over.
I wouldn't call that a running, he doesn't definitely like. I mean
he runs like me in the ring for that matter. Whipped to the far
corner. Yeah, fucking pumping up over here. He's like an archie Bunker,
I know he does. Like. This guy's a fucking star. This
guy's the guy. Yes, this guy looks like a complete goof. Like
he looks like a fucking brother of PN News. It really is dressed exactly
like PD News. He is, yeah, Funk peppering him with shots on
the canvas after shooting out of the corner with the clothesline dropping the big man.
Funk's kind of got those I don't know, more like the crocket tights,
you know, yeah, he should say the WW tights. Yeah,
long pants here. I think he kind of lost confidence in the leg definition.
You know that w w S nineteen eighty five, all japan terry on
the legs wasn't wasn't necessarily a pretty sche Oh no, it is. It
is interesting how they're how some guys are just they get so self conscious about
about certain things like between Funk and his his long tights and his legs and
savage and his fucking you know, his his like full on suits in the
in the early nineties. Yeah, that was him, you know, getting
off the gas so you can have kids. So the bell just sounded,
signaling the end of the first round. Oh, how judges were under a
decision. There's a five minute break here. See you look at that,
Look at the auto just walked back to the corner. It's just oh no,
of course that creates all kinds of opportunities for Heat. As Terry Funk
completely blindsides Vaughan's as he looking to return to his corner for his between round
break, Funk nails him from behind like a rascal. Look at Auto on
the V on his I think when Vader came back with that V on his
shirt, remember that, Yeah, I came out with I think it was
Auto Van's inspired otto. Looks like a fucking McDonald's happy meal toy. Oh
God, absolutely caged lion, that's what they're calling him. That was one
of the Stalone flicks that never got made. That he went out for Bunk
bouncing on his toes, hands up, doing the boxing stance, peppering the
big man and not the only thing that Auto. Vince saw to the pepper
on Yeah exactly. He called Pepper many times that day and it just sit
in the corner. It's a blob, looks like the blob from X Men.
He does. He does Funk literally standing on his face, grabbing the
top rope and just planning both boots on the Vince's Wow, substantial jowls.
You imagine, imagine the fucking sausages this guy ate that morning. He's twisted
off several ah, but he gives only meeting twisting off a fatty. Here
he comes up bounce on forearms. He's finally answering the Funker's assault Irish whip
tarry off the strands, Whelariot puts him down and the Funk goes head over
heels on a bump. That one brought to you by Nissan, according to
the sponsorship. Oh and Funk stumbles through the rope. Wood was it?
What was it about this guy that was so appealing? I don't know.
It was just the local hero, same thing as Big Daddy It. They
were into like guys that were literally larger than life. And I was like,
as long as you had this kind of like cartoonish size, it's it's
exactly like Haystacks Calhoun and you know what I mean, that whole thing.
Yeah, I guess, I guess see that. It's like before it freaks
steroid bodies, this is this is the biggest person walking the streets, you
know, And so they make the most easy resting attractions. The Funk put
in his magic on, falling all across the announced tables, creating a sense
of chaos, and again takes Hilaria flipping over the ropes, landing on the
apron this time as out of Vant's really taking it to the Funker. I
mean he's like the Funk is like is is playing Sean Michaels to Auto Vance's
Hull Cogan precisely, but in just enough of a way that it doesn't look
absurd. The floor on the far side of they are on their feet.
They're loving that auto. It's like a well dressed crowd. Ye looks like
a Chase from the fifties. Almost first say that they come to the matches
they have respect. They're Spunk wandering amidst amidst the seats, stumbling zombie like
around the ring that they're taking a pummeling from Auto Vance at Vance Automobile on
the Auto from the Auto Auto Correct. We'll see about that from time to
under the Fray and Vince just standing on him. It's just wild that after
the Rick Flair series in WCW like this is what Funk does next, This
is next stop. Nineteen ninety was a wild year in nineteen ninety one for
Terry Funk. He was everywhere. He was a man with no base whatsoever.
He was just taking paydays all over the world so wacky. The same
time period, he's doing like the Jerry Lawler feud in the northeastern part of
the United States for Joel Goodheart and others, and so kept out of the
ring entirely for the second round here with Terry Funk as he comes up just
swinging as spectators just he's treating the crowd here in Germany like he would an
all japan crowd, you know, you spill into them and get them an
up close view of you. And he's got no idea where he is.
He's almost backstage, and he's threaten to he uses not only every square inch
of the ring, he uses every square inch of the arena. The arena,
yes, right as you should. It is like thirty feet from the
ring at this point, just lying down the aisleway. Oh my god,
how about that? But I don't like this music playing? Yeah, between
rounds. What do you think of that? Rounds and wrestling? Uh,
it's interesting. I think, I think I don't mind it. I feel
like it can definitely lose people's attention span. Yeah, it introduces a whole
different sense of timing. But you do it, and like I think Ring
of Honor, pure style has that has that has rounds. There's you know,
it's existed in American wrestling, but it's not it's not like the way
it works like it is in Europe. Right, So Funk finally stumbles his
way back in right into the European uppercut of the Big Man. I believe
this is round three, and Funk is doing his damnedest to swing at ghosts,
selling that he's been discombobulated, to say the least by Big Otto Vants.
This is like, yeah, that's a uh, that's roadhouse Terry Funk
right there. Yes, it is just the hair and the mustache. Look
at the fucking clubs the chest and the clubs in the chest clubs in particular.
That's true in side out. Funk now hands over the top, sent
down hard across the table. He pulls the table at the top of himself.
Oh my god, we get him come up draped in fucking funk.
Okay that he's coming through Germany and pulled the table all over my ass.
How said, fuck it, mama, let's go home. Well not quite.
Yeah, I got a couple more rounds, Darry, Yeah, that's
what it was. The judges didn't judge each round. It was just that,
you know, if you hung on you can get the break. But
it still came down. I think I don't think it was a limited rounds
or if you reach the limit of rounds, it was a draw. Gotcha
that much time to get a submission or a pin. Well, from what
I'm gathering, this was this didn't do. This was a pretty good draw.
It looks like it. You can't really see the crowd, but I
don't know. So now Funk coming back, repeated steady diet of head butts
in the corner on auto vance, the only steady diet he knew in nineteen
ninety. Well, I'm gonna say, well, actually the auto vance was
on a steady diet of noodles and fried hroken off. Yes, or if
they brought in Terry, you'd been Hogan off Funk hugging the ropes, trying
to stay up, which he exchanges right hands and European uppercuts whenever whenever,
uh, you know, whenever Hogan wrestled in uh In like Russia or any
kind of like that. Who did go as hulk Hogan off? Oh and
Terry dropped with a big right hand and the sound of the bell again,
signaling the end. If you had another round here against Otto, vance away.
Look at that Vonce retreats to his corner and just like hunts that.
I like that, you know, taking a break. I did too.
I think that that cornermn you can incorporate. Yep, Terry Funk came to
Germany alone. I don't see anybody in his corner. Funk is doing his
hump the canvas routine, of course, so knocked out that he's like thrusting
onto the into the canvas. Such peppy music between this blood Feud sounds like
it's sounds like like Funk's Japan music. Look at at the white dancing at
the Funker. He's a guy is unbelievable. His feet are like three.
He drops to his ass because he can't stand up. Well, I want
to add and dropped, I'll say, Terry. Look, he's screaming at
Otto, come on new pastor, come on, give me your head,
give me your head. Oh boy, that's a big left. Funk comes
up, swinging like a madman, ready on the brink of the You know,
it kind of looks like Jake Roberts. He does. That's true.
Clubbing shots, windmill shots, his neat. Funk is going hardcore here drilling
him the color. But I think Evans might have color. Wasn't uh?
Didn't Donald Vance play a part in Parks and rec isn't he in Parks and
say? That? Kid? Yet know m series of lefts. Finally,
Auto switches the momentum, whips Terry into the buckling and charges with the barge
in the corner. Unk stumbles out into the verticals, who play beautiful.
It might be that might be after Jim O'Hare. Actually, yeah, h
e, I R yes. In case you're wondering back up. Funk swings
and drops with a clothesline. Here's the cover by Vince two Got him.
That's it? Auto Vance, Larryoto for Auto, Larryoto Vans, Oh my
god, Lariato Larryoto lar also Zubisco's repair shop by the way, come on
down a Larry Auto, okay, where we specialize in vans for fans,
also specializing in vans Larry's shoe store. And they're on their feet in Cologne
or wherever this is sparklers. That's it. That's a fucking fire hazard.
Is that? Missus Vons's listen to Auto here with the ringside interview. I
need to hear this. Yeah, you want all over? He was German
all over. You look like one too, pal Now, actually he looked
like a state bomb. You look like a mushroom cloud. Yeah you say
that again and cheez a mushroom in Swiss cloud. So yeah, mushroom,
mushroom and munster cloud. I mean, if you didn't know when we announced
the lapsed Funk that at some point it would be Auto Vanz's turn, then
I don't know what to tell you exactly. You haven't been listening closely enough.
Holy shit, that wasn't expecting Auto. Let's stay in Germany just another
bit more because while that you know, the fact he wrestled the name the
stature of Otto van certainly speaks to how much Terry Funk's name reverberated across the
global wrestling world in nineteen ninety It wasn't necessarily the best display of him adapting
to a new style because Otto Vans was very limited in what he could do.
However, Terry did run into an opponent in November of nineteen ninety six
by the name of Franz Schumann, who didn't his who didn't have a whole
lot of renown outside the rings of Germany, but did work internationally and was
a very good worker. I am a very good worker, and there is
absolutely zero chance we will ever talk about Franz again. So let's go six
years after Terry Funk, you know, helped see off Anse in the rings
that he defined to take on, the onion rings that he defined to take
on. Fron Schuman, go to just twenty eight. If you could trans
Schumann, here we are. That's Ron Schumann. Sounds like a law firm.
Twenty eight. That's what you said. I said, yeah, yes,
I said to him, it's very good. Did we go to just
twenty eight? But is his time card? Chiz? It's one ten tim
oh four. It's kind of like handicam footage here. This must be a
sponsor, the Gilda Brokwerie Browery. It's like there's a banner above the ring.
So now this is going to be it. You know, we talked
about the versatility of Terry. We've seen him in nw A title Terry.
We've seen him tag team Brawler Terry. We've seen e c W stunt Moon
salting Terry. We've seen you know, technical catches, catch can Terry,
and now We're about to see true catch Terry here and John all right against
Frands in ninety six, So let's hit play in three two one play.
It's hilarious, now, can King King? Can I went ahead in the
USA? Ahead in the USA? Look at him, the funker fucking Goofei
with the leather chaps and the leather thing he's got, He's got the headband,
he's got a flaming branding iron. Look at him, oh man,
led to the ring by two people waving old glory. Yeah, this is
like FMW Terry funk, this is some And he puts the flame out on
the end of the branding iron and ready to do battle with fran Schumann here
and his catch on, baby, that's right, he's here to catch,
and we're here to pitch. That's right. We'll forget it. What but
I'm trying jeers from the crowd. Just yeah, ninety six. I mean,
just think of a Sid versus Sean Survivors series. Bad France, what's
that France? What's his name? Franz Schumann. Franz Schumann. Heah,
he's actually Austrian. Was fran Schuman Austrian? Involve is Austrian. There's nothing
you can do. And the Professional Alliance makes some sense because Howard Brody at
the time of the National Wrestling Alliance was trying to recruit fran Schumann's w w
A promotion, which I believe we're seeing here w w A in Germany and
Austria to join the n W as they still try to be a thing in
the mid to late nineties, strong driving techno for Franz Schumann going to the
disco tech. Apparently the disco tech is that an observer reward back then best
disco technical wrestler. Believe yes, best best disco technician. I believe frond
Schumann was Disco Technical Wrestler of the Year in nineteen ninety six. Was he
also the disco tactician and tactical Oh you'd be the judge here as he wrapped
as he locks horns with the Funker and enters the ring with the Austrian flag.
This fucking Dennis corn Rody's promotional partner is Butterbean. Funk's second Uh is
that butter Bean? So no, what the fuck is that? I like
this? So they have the corner men stand in opposite corners holding the flag
still while the introductions made sure. It's pretty cool something a modern wrestling company
could steal other with Terry Wow, I mean he was German. I mean,
you know, you gotta think that is true. That is true.
Good point. Good point. Dell Lastling either talking about him as the son
of Dori Funk senior. Yeh, so Dennis Corluzo did at Eddie Gilbert Tribute
weekend in ninety six in Philadelphia, and apparently that also saw Front Human come
in from Austin and Mussel. All right, so some exposure in the States.
Terry Fung. This is truly something we would never watch never. I
almost can't believe we're about to do it. Just describe the scene for those
who can't. I mean, you gotta. It's just a bunch of flags
in the ring. Such a flag an elementary school auditorium stage. It really
does. I am very what is I'm very curious what I got to look
up? Guilda brower? Yeah what that the banner above the ring is about
a lot of ceremonials here. Let's get the bell rong, folks. Yeah,
I know. Seriously, Terry Funk was just simply the man for the
job in the nineties. Serves as further evidence of that, frum unintroduced and
booed, in fact, what is this? It's a d D D D
D D ding ding d ding ding d D. It was Terry. That's
a brewery, the Guild brewery. That makes sense. Tony Saint Clair is
the second of Front Showman, who is also a great German wrestler. Are
you gonna say, boss, it's a brewery? Okay, that makes sense.
I would have been one of my first guesses pound little d Dean did
indeen Dean and that is that definitely has that feel. Oh they're channing,
asshole? Is that what they're chanting? That's it sounds like that's just wild.
So let's get a real good look at the well roundedness of Terry Funk,
even as late as nineteen ninety six going to Germany and seamlessly. Are
they already they're already channing a boring chant? Do you hear this? I
somehow doubt they're chanting boring, But they're channing boring, They're ready, They
won't why they're wanting announcer are still talking. It's instead of room by I
want ahead and locked it up a front ship of I wanna I want ahead,
and uh I went to Germany and UH said, uh, you know,
and I mean this sincerely. He's a he's a he's a German guy,
right, I haven't thought about you know, I throw the German souplex
in there, but I thought that might be too on the nose. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean sincerely, I do. I
want ahead, and I want ahead and men things sincerely. And this is
like an elbows fighting hard for the leverage, working the ropes. It's telling
his repertoire if you always falling on bombs, ducking his head through the ropes.
The funker seeking separation granted by the yes, the clean catchman front human
almost like Tom Brandy a little bit, yeah sure, kindle see bulldog and
jeans a little bit. Yeah yeah, dynamite too, figgers and dynamite hair
elbows and funker grabs a front headlock to the ropes. They go, fuck,
what's gonna do? Is gonna shot him off? No, throws them
to the ropes out after him, front slips right in, not playing that
game against the funker. No very smart. The crowd applauds the the ring
awareness front shuman as do I bunk would like nothing more than to get this
one on the floor and incorporate furniture and all kinds of other externality elements.
Yes, Bunk her up out of the apron, looking for some distance re
enter and he gets it. What are they saying? I don't know,
man, it's some sure it German. You didn't learn German for this.
I don't think he knew any German. No you no, No, That's
one thing I couldn't get done in time. Yeah. I wanted to go
to crowdhousing and see if I could have moved any of his relatives. And
again Funk tries throwing Chuman into the floor, go out after him, and
human gets right back into the ring. Very good psychology. I like that
Bunk's gonna have to wrestle this man if he's going to beat him tonight.
I'm not here to you know, I'm not going to sit here and do
your your your bullshit, not going to brawl the stars and his trunks.
He looks like some generic guy you'd picking like any s pro wrestling, right,
I'm not here to do your your hardcore bullshit. Time here to wrestle
and to take things very seriously, mister fun. The sound and the funka
hollering elbow, warn shipman now with the risk control all right, clothesline duck
to get it, to get Please, could the announcer please shut the fuck
up? I mean he's been talking the entire match, including he's annoying first
round underway Tony Sinclear and tending to front Human cornerman as well. I don't
recognize, and didn't and didn't didn't and didn't and and sounds like one of
those It sounds like one of those time Life compilation commercials in the middle of
the night. It does in between rounds in Germany Best of the Eat cow
on four compact discs, like White Snake or whatever his name was. Yes,
is this love at him? Feeling away a head? Second round out
away, Front Human takes the center of the ring. What's a boot out
there? Funk or Snakes? What's I think that's Front Human's definitely one of
those deep cinemat guys are gonna find coming down ladies and gentlemen coming down to
the aisle. Being two hundred and forty pounds from Kaiser Slandon, Jeremy,
Are you announcing him? What are you calling him to dinner? I think
that's auto Van's right there, the fat ass and suit there. Yeah,
it looks like him. Oh look at that he's want of he's telling to
get back in the fucking ring. Oh funk, I take a swing and
a spectator, give a fuck, lower him up with the EU. It's
gonna start throwing fucking chairs at the fans. Tossed Terry Funk out of the
ring. Funk now working the perimeter, looking in the ring like, how
the hell amna approached? The son of a bitch? Now, what the
hell? How the hell Paul? When the hellma closing the distance? I
went a home sitting in the middle rope and just taking rights and clutching the
top rope doing this the the swing back and forth and finally knocked to the
floor Schumann looking like a bad ass. That's all I heard. So tell
me, German listeners just funk a German name. I mean, we spent
a lot of time talking about how unusual a name it is. It is
that like a name in Germany that people wouldn't better fun if you pronounce it
that perhaps like that it's I have, I have, it's cause for concern.
Yeah, just for this episode, we're gonna rename it the labs to
funka Yeah, Terry re engaging from the Colorado elbow, snatching a top wrist
lock that brings from Schumann to a knee. Funk can workholds. It's very
simple DT and nowhere about the funker. Wow, oh, looks like he's
being admonished by the referees. There something illegal about the D D T and
cash. Someone turned the radio station on again. Let's run another break.
Dun dun dun, dun, dun dun dun. No no no no no
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.
I like the idea of rounds, but these are way too short,
and they're doing rounds in NXT now too. What do they call it?
The Heritage Cup has rounds like this trumpus Maximus. No, no, no,
no, what a strange song look like? So bizarre? During Christmas
time here in Germany, Many German moms saying, I know it's Christmas,
but that's no excuse to be lazy. That's right, I know it's Christmas,
but this means no, it's no excuse to be a cunt. Pretty
fun dropped hold by Schumann riding the Funker. Now with the rear to chinlock
on was an stf position. This is no chairs, this is no barbed
wire, this is no this is terry. It's it's it's old school showing
up trunks and boots still in there. Even though that didn't define his ninety
nine. Still uh something the Funker could do. That's what's on display here
a Schumann holding this uh in a modified sleeper hole. He's got one arm
under the arm pit. He's got the lock under the armpit of the Funker.
You know what. He's the love child of Paul Roma and Rocky mya
Villa. It's quite a comparison. Funker locates the hangman's noose neck breaker.
In that entanglement, you get counted down like a boxing match. Another pile
driver, whoa we left on Japan. He just he just gave a tiger
driver ninety four drilled Frondz. So Funk was going for the pile driver where
yanks in the trunks, but Franz A leaped like it was going to be
a power bomb. So Funk just dropped to his knees and it was massawakawata
and now there's a power bomb. Funk. Franz too. Did the referee
just count without slapping the mat? Did he just count by putting fingers in
the air? Do we have the German bronco lubit? Listen? Can I
tell you to see it? I'm not going to get on my knees.
Please a power bomb on order this time? Wow Jesus and peppering the funker
with rights fron Schumann bringing the rana to Germany. This time of Chumann putting
the fight on the floor, throwing Funk through the ropes and Terry climbs the
nearest table. Of course, that's what you do. Look at shirts in
Germany in the Oh my god, that's fucking awesome. Like the the ten
addresses in Germany that our video would ship to, one of them is probably
Oliver uh oh man. What was his name, Oliver Copp? I think
his name was used to be a He's like he used to write about wrestling
on Observer and stuff. And I remember he was a translator for UFC fighter
Dennis Siver when he fought Connor McGregor. I was like, what the Observer
guy is doing translation for German UFC fighters. Sure enough, that's very funny.
Now we're back in the ring Funk are worse for wear as fron Schumann,
snapmar and sleeper hole. That's the funk. The funker in the center
drills down an elbow to the Trapeziis is that a German word? Trapezia?
The trapeze a trapezia. This announcer has to shut the fuck up. Man,
He's he's the worst. This guy's a fun something to say. Every
thirty seconds, here comes the funker building up off his feet. But maybe
that's the thing. Maybe that's the thing in Germany. You mean, yeah,
it's hard to get, you know, a real heat going. When
Funker Terry finds an excuse to just fall through the ropes again like a trapeze
artist, Oh I have I don't even have to hit him, He'll just
fall. There's no round anything, little little lily oooh yeah, dirt dir
di. Time for another fucking uh uh chewing gum commercial from nineteen eighty one.
Seriously, ham hum hey, is that journey loving you? I forgot?
Unbelievable? Also got pig fied tour. Here he goes. Funk has
flipped the switch. He's decided that he's been beat up so bad that he
can't stand on it's on two feet big drop cake batons. They get a
lot more mileage out of blows in Germany, don't they. Yep, referees
laying in a standing eight count like boxing. Dropkick Funk spills over the top
to the floor. Do you need a wrestler to come to your country and
clear the top rope like a motherfucker. Terry Funk, Terry Funk for you.
Terry Funk Enterprises knocked over the railing into the front row. The e
CW fans there, the e c W T shirt wearers clearing out some room
for Franz Schumann to follow up. Oh Funker grabs a branding iron. Oh
boy, here we go. I'm not sure the official even saw it.
Look at the photographers laughing, and how fucking phony it is. It's so
fucking fake. This bullshit, just see, this is all a fake bullshit.
Taking the center, kicking away at that damaged knee, the damaged ahead.
Oh, when I head around, had a Hannah when I hed my
mama's head, mama said, Well, needless to say, Terry Funk has
opened up a plan of attack here after smacking front Shuman with a branding iron,
He's now attacking the knee viciously. Schuman's having a difficult time standing alright,
alright, fling in the count Funk with the Duke's up while he does
whom that fucking is? That? Is that any assi there? The referee?
Oh my god, that'd be a cardio challenge in the States. If
you couldn't stay down on the mat for more than ten seconds at a time,
how would we do our double down spot? So everybody knows to stand
in applaud I would come right out of everybody's repertoire overnight. Funk just unloading
with a series of lefts in the corner on a helpless fron Schuman and now
joh jacking with the official is the funker? I don't think he likes uh
instruction. He just got Schumann stepping to funk. But the worse for where
to say the least terry deposits him through the ropes to the outside. And
no moon salts nothing like that here? Why not? They're not probably not
legal in Japan. I mean in Germany you could, however, salt a
pretzel. That's very much that is that is definitely encouraged and actually in some
places required. Could you go for a pretzel right now, Oh my god,
a real fucking pretzel. It'll be great like that like the rock salt,
those big yep yep yep. But like I mean, like there's a
you know there, there's a tavern nearby that just they make the best fucking
pretzels like they have yep, well they have to. They had to two
different kind of you know, sauce is either either the mustard or like a
cheese sauce. And but it's like the the butter on to heavenly, it's
heavenly, it's fucking heavenly. So Terry Funk punching front Schumann in the head
until van Halen starts playing Welcome to catch and we'll be back exactly. S
Clair, for no reason, refuses to be boring. Yes he does.
Announcer's still talking for those keeping score, Yeah, for those who give a
shit. It must be the fifth or sixth round. At this point,
Schumann tries to get back and the ring funker drops him again. So what's
the point of the rounds? Like, do they do they do? Points?
Is that it or it do? I think it's just like you've got
enough, You've got this much time to find a win and then it's just
like boxing, you know, the guy gets a break. Yeah, but
they have points though, like they have points, and I don't know,
I have to cut cop ignorance to how it worked. I'm not sure.
Sure there's some catch fans out there and the Solars just look and inform us
for the next episode. So now Tony Saint Clair furious getting the ring in
the officials face that this guy's kicking me. Meanwhile, that provides a distraction
for the Funker to again hit Schumann in the head with the the branding iron,
to a somewhat muted reaction from the crowd, not entirely furious with that.
Yeah, I when I had him side in the ropes, I said,
Franz, take your time, I think wow. Stands at six and
the Funk wrapping his left fist in something and dropping Schumann with a hard punch,
and the standing eight count bunk just punching the ship out of this guy.
What I had, what I had, when I had, when I
had I had went ahead and punch him in the head, when ahead and
punch him in the head, when I had, when I had on belly
and he was trying to cover him the front shoom and I'll tied up in
the ropes. Terry doesn't know that rule. All the forty years in the
business, I don't speak German, your fucking pieces, no one thing they
do. And I'm serious about this. They don't explain the rules to Americans.
You know, you show up and you should go ahead. You go
ahead, and you try to wrestle, but they say you can't wrestle that
way. And I said, well, what the hell am I supposed to
do? Wrestled the way that I? I mean that sincerely. Yeah,
what the Schumann coming back with chops a drop kick whipped to the corner.
Funker hits a bloodied Fronz Schuman with a kind of a battery. Yay,
that was supposed to be Fuck? Was that Funk was trying to go for
a Canadian destroyer maybe and Franz didn't know to go over. But this is
I'm going to come back. Looks like a catch, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, snap neared the lateral press human one two? Oh. I think
the ref counts one two of his fingers and slaps the three. What is
going on here? So Franz, how do we work the gimmick, hero
the referee hit the mat? Or so what do we do with this damn
thing? How do we work the gimmick? How do we work the mat?
How do we work the fans? It's trying walking around his zombie again.
And I don't know about you. I don't know about you, Franz,
but I like to go ahead, and I like to work a few
things in the fans in the crowd. I don't know what this catch ship.
You guys do to catch a predator, maybe to catch a mama.
We will rock you now, Okay, Oh my god, I fucking can't
the other round and they're in the crowd. Terry's gonna want to drink another
round by the time this thing's over. Kingan Anka even Nanda he not he
dashtigging. I'm sure all licenses, all appropriate license is secured to play this
music for public display. Of course, Terry, he's just wind milling punches.
There's no one in sight. He's just swinging. The women are running
from him. The fucker comes up swinging. He's fans all in the place.
I want. I haven't said fuck it. Whatever happens when Terry gets
up half dead and just starts swinging. I fucking love it never gets old.
I've been thoroughly convinced of that over the course of the laps. Frock
because a chair. I think I know who threw that. I didn't see
it, but I didn't do it. What happened? Who did it?
Throwing left? Snow? Did anyone go home? Pretty soon? Is it
time to go home? Oh? A big shove to the official from Terry
Funk because he works over front. Schumann in the corner. Oh my god,
there we go. Official goes down, Funk going off. Tony sent
clear up on the ring apron not o Vonn's standing. They can't believe that
Terry Funk is channing for Tony. They wanted to do something about it.
Here goes Terry. Get ready. He's on the floor of the chair in
his hand. Get ready, almost a human Jesus. Oh, went ahead
and all through the chair at your head, gets him right over the head
with it. Announcers still talking, announce the referees on the floor. Tony
Sinclair getting tuned up now by the Funker. This is absolute anarchy. Who's
this guy? That Berry Wyndham? Is that Doc Hendricks? Is that ulf
Hermann? Maybe the referee ailing from the left hand. He's hurting. Funk
leaves absolutely, It's like it takes six people in a chair to like get
Funk out of here. Look at him on the floor. He keeps going,
stumbling around. He's such an animal. He shows up, it's like
fucking like nobody knows what to do when he fucking you know, he gets
there and it's like, oh oh, the very excited Terry Funk coming,
you know, is that my god is from America is a legend. It's
aman won the match. Indeed, indeed and deed INDEEDE actually look like dynamite
kid too. Yeah, I call that dynamite too. Yeah he does.
He's like, he's like, he looks like dynamite with Davy's frame. Yeah,
yeah, I guess he won. And where where no head? Oh?
Where no heir? Where hed? And I'm going a hair and still
out there, still pointing and gesturing at the ring. I'm gonna go ahead
the bad there's the announcement of front Showman is the winner. Oh he's at
the mic. Listen your piece of ship. I'll give it my own kid.
As I flushed down the toilet, he said, you were useless,
like my piss. That's fucking hilarious, and no one knows what he's saying,
of course, And look at looking at my fans, look at this,
look at the back people up, look at him. Friends. Come
on, mister an American werewolf and Dusseldorf. Ah, hey, Franz,
you're like my piss that I flushed down the toilet, he said, that's
amazing. He art and some ship people are standing up looking in his direction.
Announcer still talking. What could the announcer possibly be saying at this point
he's already announced the winner. He's so fucking annoying this guy. Whatever it
was, it drew a round of applause. I know we can kill it
there because do me a favor, Do me a favor, do me a
favor, and shut the fuck up. Yeah right, So what do you
think Terry and Japan? Now Germany, it's a riot, man, I
don't know what to make of that. That's so fucking so different. So,
yeah, just another flavor of how how international Terry Funk really got over
the course of his career in the business. And so we're going to go
to Puerto Rico now where he is really oranged. If you can believe it.
Uh a territory, sort of custom made for who Terry Funk became in
the nineties, but he's doing it in a lot of cases in the eighties.
And he's doing it right after the WWF run, right after he does
the Saturday Night's main event match with Terry and Dory against Junkyard and Hogan.
We talked about in the WWF portion of the journey, he goes over to
Puerto Rico, and to set the stage, we turned to Dory Funk's book,
who writes about this whole? I guess you could say chapter in the
Funkers' Lives Puerto Rico is the is the name of it. We haven't really
consulted Dory's tone in a while, not really, but let's see here we
go. Okay, no, it wouldn't be there. Pardon me, folks
for just a second. As we get did I even did I even write
a book? I don't even remember if I wrote a book. Sometimes I
do things that aren't necessarily, you know, in the best interests of other
people or myself. I feel like I should cut you off there. Can
you have any more to say about that? Donk? I'm really interested by
what you mean by that? You know, sometimes I just you know,
there there are things in this world that you know, require a certain amount
of attention, and I I just don't. I don't have it in me
to just stick to do that. I I yeah, yeah, you're making
sense. And so when it when it comes to things like this, I
just end up going home. We're not talking about we're not talking about bachelore
party story. What do you mean when it comes to things like this,
you just end up going home? Well, well, I just you know,
they're they're here. He is entail. It was what we call grooming
grooming. It was what we call grooming grooming for the World Heavyweight Championship.
There are a lot of things you've got to consider. One is your parents,
and the other is my and the other is my parents father. You
looked at Terry and said, hey, Terry looks like a champion. You
will leave out what he said about you know, Terry looks like a champion,
and uh, Dorry looks like a jackass. And I said, Dad,
I agree, Say Dad, I say a word that you want to
hear, Dory funk say platypus, a common word O hunger. I can't
help you there. How about beer? I'm beer, and you know I
can recall the match exactly. Yeah, yeah, the part where they had
a huge crowd baseball stadium. What do we go so that everybody could see
that ring side? They put the ring up on a huge stage because they
had so many ringside, they didn't tell us the ring was sitting on a
stage. So to get in the ring, it was to jump up.
You were in the ring back side? Oh, we just climbed up on
a platform over the front. Oh yeah, I remember that into the ring
like normal, but on the back side where there were no all The ring
was on the edge of the platform. We didn't know, but it was
fifteen feet to the ground off the back edge. So the road Warriors were
in the ring. No, we went to the ring first. Terry and
I were in the ring. You know what, I don't think you know
what I remember. I don't think I even was in there. So they
had beer in addressing room, it is, that's bad. So Terry was
sitting here drinking a few beers, and he decided he was going to piss
off all the wrestling fans and get his heat first. So let's pick up
the book from there beer in the dressing Roomy Funk's book. After going through
a six pack, Terry reached and was wrestling bag and pulled out a sheet
rock knife like you did start. I had no idea what to expect as
he turned it in his hand first, then flipped it in the air and
caught it. In an instant, he was out of the dugout and racing
for the thirty foot tall rubber balloon made in the image of a huge Miller
like can of beer. That wasn't the only time he went he went looking
for a rubber A huge five thousand dollars dollar light balloon was anchored at third
base position. This, of course, I gotta remember. I gotta remember
how to do Dorry's voice. This is how you do it. Yes,
I figured you could use her refresher hear him. That's really good. Actually,
you gotta remember. The biggest mystery about the Funks is Terry's got the
biggest West Texas twang, and he's knocked back in as Dorry grew up just
as much in Texas as he did, and he sounds like he's still from
him in Indiana. But I found like a fucking answer when you hear me
speak, you got it so well. Yes, they have this huge Miller
Light balloon as a sponsorship feature on the in the baseball stadium here in Puerto
Rico as the funks are coming out to wrestle and at Hirom Bithhorne Baseball Stadium.
According to Dorry's book, in San Juan and Terry caught everybody by surprise.
The wrestler, security guards, twenty thousand Puerto Rican wrestling fans, Marty,
myself, and especially the sponsors of the wrestling matches, Miller Light.
We were all aghast as Terry attacked the big beer can, running around it,
stabbing at the base with the sheet rock dyke. I mean, we've
all been there. We've all been there with Terry. He always and I
don't even you know, here's the thing about that, I don't remember.
I don't know what I did. You know, I can remember what Terry
did. I don't remember what I did. Somehow, even if he did,
I don't even you would remember. I don't think I even was there
in just seconds, but I remember seeing Terry there. Maybe I just heard
about this. Maybe I wasn't even there. I don't know if I was
there or not it I remember, but I do remember seeing Terry. I
remembered him doing what he did. I remember seeing it happen, but I
don't remember actually being in Puerto Rico. We can't work with this, guys.
Can we just wrap this shoot up? In just seconds, the Miller
Lte balloon collapse into a heap of useless rubber near the third base bag.
Sen Juan, Puerto Rico is a great place to work. Marty and I
have traveled there many times together. We would stay at the Holiday Inn on
the Condado, most popular resort beach in San Juan. Daytime was spent on
the beach and in the afternoon we would walk to the Latasca restaurant, just
besides the Caribe Hilton Hotel and have them most delicious seafood in the world.
Whole baked red snapper was my favorite. Oh yeah, Shopping in the Condado
was the best in the Caribbean, with gorgeous jewelry and imported goods from around
the world. For the better part of ten years, Sen Juan was one
of my favorite places to work. Then, of course, Brody got stabbed
and that was the Endternet Tonight was the biggest show of the Year December twenty
first, eighty five. The main event was Carlos Colone against Abdul the Pusher,
along with Terry and myself against the Road Warriors. Ten matches and all
were on the card, including such stars as Bruiser, Brody Invader interesting to
put those two together, Miguel Perez, Herculesiala, Chris and Mark young Blood,
Victor Jevika, and Bobby Jackers. Capital Sports Promotion had even secured the
sponsorship of Miller Lite for the big show. As a courtesy to the wrestlers,
Miller Lte had furnished both dressing rooms with unlimited beer. As we arrived
at the stadium, I noticed Terry sipping on a Miller Light and knew it
would be a long night as we were on next to last of ten matches.
In order to add additional ringside seats with a good view, and this
is what Dorry was talking about in those shoot interview clips we just played.
The ring was set up atop of five foot platter. There were steps up
to the platform and then you stepped into the ring. This platform protruded to
the front and side of the ring. Another beer for Terry promoters like Heat
They want the fans to be able to choose who to cheer for and who
to boo and hiss at. At times, my brother can take things a
little far with the heat. Another beer for Terry. Fans in Puerto Rico
are sometimes prone to throw things at the wrestlers. Well, this night,
Terry would dart out of the dugout armed with hamburgers, yeah, empty beer
cans and trash to throw at the fans. Then he picked up some of
the pea gravel in front of the dugout and threw that at the fans.
Sometimes I don't even know. From that time on, any wrestler his a
shirt. From that time on, any wrestler go into the bring, which
showered with crap thrown from the bleachers. As if that wasn't enough, As
Terry finished another beer, he goosed one of the female security guards. Well,
Jesus, donk, you didn't have to put that in the book.
In the as as she came a little too close, but she turned down
to a goose is pisted to mean there. Yeah, he you know,
he he used to goose people in the ass. It was quite a uh,
you know, things happened like that sometimes, and people got upset,
but I just said, hey, that's Terry. You know what am I
supposed to do about it? When she turned to scold him, he did
the old screw the headlight strick with his hands to the three inches in front
of her well developed chest. Then he cursed the other security personnel. Now,
not only did we have twenty thousand Puerto Rican wrestling fans pissed off at
us, but as we were ready to go into the ring, the security
walked out and he had another beer. Marty asked, is there anything you
can do to control him? I said, I haven't been able to control
him since he was four years old looking for Santo with a pipe in his
hand so he could beat Santa up and take all his toys. All right,
picture Arry, You know sometimes I don't even know what I'm saying.
There was a pipe, Okay. There was nothing I could do to cool
my brother off. He was a raving terror. I knew it was going
to be tough getting from the dugout to the ring for our match against the
Road Warriors. As Terry got another beer, okay, first main event,
let's go, I could hear the call to make our way down the hallway,
through the dugout and into the ring for the match. The first trick
don't let the fans know exactly when you were going to come out of the
dugout. Try to fake them out and quickly get twenty feet out into the
field so you have a chance to dodge all the crap they are going to
throw at you. On this night, it was practically tough getting particularly tough
rather getting to the ring. No security, but some of the wrestlers were
there to help. Terry and I hit the ring first to the booze and
jeers of the partisan crowd. Next came the music and the Road Warriors,
to the roar of approval from twenty thousand people who wanted to see us torn
to bits and pieces. As the Road Warriors stormed into the ring with their
spiked shoulder pads, Terry scooted out of the ring on the far side.
He had failed to check out the ring and didn't realize there was no platform
in the backside and it was ten feet to the ground. Terry climbed up
to the apron of the ring and said, Junior, I hurt my back.
You're gonna have to work this whole match. And what did you say,
dunk I, Terry, I don't know what's the match? Are we?
Well? What are you okay? I mean, I don't know what
we're supposed to do? Terry? What do you? What do I do?
Terry? Terry a UFO Terry Stadium, Terry, Terry. I'm going
home, Take me, family, take me now. I'm going home,
Terry. I'm going to my home planet. Dory Town, Oh ship,
they really missed. They really missed that one for an Amarilla theme park,
didn't they. Dory Town, come on through, gets as brisket. Fucking
brand your own cattle or brand your brother. I'm not opposed to having a
brand for families. You know you can. You can take it, heat
it up and then stab your family member in the axe and say you been
branded. And roller coaster is the lasso. And come for some of our
delicious chicken wings. Try our barbecue and our boys ranch. Try you know,
try the noodle salad. Oh shit, that's that onid coming. That
is no pun to it at all. It's just just really good. It's
actually pretty good. It's a very you know it's it's a very good noodle
salad. It's gonna come to Dory Town. That's the local commercial roller coaster,
looking like I'm like an Alzheimer's patient. Come to Dory Town. Come
to door Town where the noodle salad is excellent. So he went out on
the he had a center track. Terry what but back in front of the
fans. Actually, when Terry Funk walked out there, the fans had throw
a few things at him. So he'd pick up the centers off the track
and throw him back at the fans. He calls his brother Terry Funk.
By the way, Well, you know, Terry Funk would come out and
you know, he would do a lot of things his own Way'd say that
I wasn't very familiar with all of it, but I uh, I thought,
you know, this is a guy I could get behind and then go
for the schoolboy roll up. I didn't, you know, I remember the
first time I met Terry Funk. It was when he was born and he
was You could you could put Dory in a flotation device, fix it to
a jet ski gimmick the jet ski so you didn't have a driver on it,
but it just kept going and he would go about four hundred miles off
the coast before he realized something was amiss. Oh, oh too late,
Dorri. You're Tom Hanks and castaway. Now I'm to dorry Town. I
can't I can't see that. Oh oh, I don't see the land anymore.
Uh. Security was there that told me don't do it. He cuts
the security out. Uh, I guess we're going to Europe. Okay,
better take a nap. Got that jet lag and that time change going on.
Falls asleep in the flotation device in his letters and Jack, I guess
I'm better go to sleep. Got that tit lag going on immediately, he's
asleep like that sleep at that huh oh, I forgot my passport. Terry
climbed up to the apron of the ring and said, Junior, I hurt
my back. I couldn't have to work this whole match. Well, here
I am with two fired up road Warriors, twenty thousand angry Porto Ricans,
a pissed off sponsor, a pissed off promoter, no security, at a
worthless pile of rubber. Over at third base, the bell rang and I
wrestled Honk an animal by myself for the next thirty minutes. Now we're gonna
watch this match, and this is not at all what happened. So two
days later, Marty and I were sipping a morning cup of coffee at our
home then located in Charlotte, North Carolina, the telephone rang. Marty answered.
It was Terry's wife, VICKI. She said, poor Terry hurt us
back in Puerto Rico. He said he had to do all the wrestling for
Dory Dorris. I tell you story is such a bit. She is so
tired for all the work. He's such an asshole. Who did all the
work? Boss? If you had to take your guests, Terry did all
the work. Well, we're gonna go on a little tour of Puerto Rico
with the Funker. Let's start a disk fourteen, Disc fourteen. All right,
here we go, disc fourteen. You know, Terry goes ahead a
lot. If you notice that, if that was one thing we have money,
he does go ahead. And uh, you know, I do everything
I can to stay ahead or at least stay right with him, but it
doesn't always happen. And Portant perhaps to notice, you know, sometimes I
find myself just walking around in circles and I don't even know where I am,
kind of like the lapsed funk. What is the time code? Thirty
three oh six, And it might be worth noting here that Gorilla Monsoon was,
of course in on the office in WWC Puerto Rico. You know,
we've seen matches on coliseum home videos from the earliest releases that were from Puerto
Rico because of that connection. And so while Terry Funk did leave the WWF
right around this time period in nineteen eighty five, I guess you could say
he didn't go too far because he was still working for let's say, an
international affiliate of the WWF in the World Wrestling Council, and he cuts some
promos to introduce the people to Terry Funk and what he's all about. This
one we're going to watch here is from September of nineteen eighty six, and
it's actually shot if I'm reading the surroundings correctly, in his home, in
his office, because I just have seen several times kind of how he decorates
the walls of his office, and it's pretty clear this is shot in Amarilla
at the Double Cross, and I think it's with a future WWF color commentator
Spanish language color common tator hugos of individual Carlos Cabrera. I mean Carlos Cabrera.
So let's uh, let's get acquainted as Puerto Rico did with the Funk
or Boss. What do you say? I love it to one place,
cruzes Ya Mario has. They're in the mansion, in his house, an
helosenta. Okay. The moment of truth just coming Friday in Pansa, September
nineteenth. The tournament starts your opponent, Barry Windom, who looks very confident
in that in that particular way he referred to you about his vist interview situation,
most illustrious career, whatever they pace Universe trophy to me, whenever I
won the n w A World Championship is the old textures miner I stumped to
get in my teeth, cowboy boots on I stamped Isabeth. It means nothing.
You realize all of these means nothing to me. You know what means
something to mean Frankie the thumper rope, this means something. Yes, the
Double Cross brand and I am gonna brand my way through the Universal Tournament.
I like that. Tell the people of Puerto Rico it's a Terry funk ECE
Television principle com with you and Canada National Wresting Alliance, Squats, Olympiada Mano,
No, this was but nothing. Tomental Era looks Ifakara races double La
Cruz, La Cruz double Cross, I get it, do La Cruz and
Verry window after Yes, damn right, you are random, the very windom
active Nampos Cross. I am gonna brand Bruiser Brody. I am going to
brand Abdula the butcher her and I am gonna brand Carlos Cologne. And I
am going to brand the world a professional wrestling I don't know about that town.
He still less. I become the Universal Champion cow Marc. I am
going to embarrass the wrestling world by branding all of the people that are the
great because they will be in PONSI every one of them will be. But
at the end of three days, I will wear the belt around my waist.
Hell forque commis hell bas in toron in toura Am. Wow, who's
the greater? Hello? Hello, who's the best in the world? Hello?
And I think Marmundo Terry funk. That was the promo. Okay from
September of nineteen eighty six. This is a tournament for the World wrestn Council
World championship that Funk entered into taking out Barry Windam. In Puerto Rico,
there was kind of an alliance as well between the Puerto Rican office and Crockett
Promotions, which is kind of weird, but guys would get working out there,
including Wyndham. And this is vintage window right here. I think this
is actually Windom in between the WWF run, the US Express run h to
Crockett. Oh, big chop on the Funker on the floor. Ever seen
Puerto Rican wrestling before? Boss, I've never seen Puerto Rican wrestling big as
NWA logos except for the U except for the uh, you know the stuff
that we saw. Always nice to see basketball hoops in the background that a
wrestling built. Of course, big pile driver from Barry Wyndham spikes the Funker
cover one two. We're going to take you through this tournament as Terry Funk
made it all the way to the finals, did he really feels like the
quarterfinals taking place in a smaller venue but still packed. In the eighties in
Puerto Rico, man, there was before Bruiser Brody was murdered in nineteen eighty
eight, it was a red hot place to go to. Wrestle incredibly passionate
fans and have so much fun out there. Wow. Oh, pile drives
funk on the floor. Wrestlers would being their wives, you know, would
make a they'd make a resort vacation out of it. You had, you
know, you got picked up in the van by the promotion every day.
It wasn't it wasn't a drag like the territories were in terms of travel logistics.
Terry, I don't even know where I am standing on his head with
his ass in the air. It's prime Berry Wyndam. He's lean, The
blonde locks are flowing, the right hands are landing. Yeah, we still
got that fucking name though, So I forget Terry sold. Oh, Terry
and Dorry sold Amberillo to Barry's father and Dick Murdoch. Oh yeah, pile
driver on the floor with impact, and uh, there's only so many palle
drivers on the floor. You would think the Funker can take here. Super
Astres de Lucha Libre was the name of the TV show Superstars of Wrestling,
Super Singing. Last check, it's still called that. Really stumbling around Barry
lining up some heavy artillery here right hand almost turns the funker all the way
around, and he's doing the full weak needs cell knock need cell the right
hand. Funk twists in the air lands on the canvas. Let's have he
sold for Jerry Lawler two in Memphis Lade Prescotts two. Back up now,
the Funker snatches the side headlock and Berry Windham lifts and dumps. The Funker
in the center of the ring high back suplex, but Wyndham collapsing in exhaustion
as well. One arm drave for referee down account. Doesn't take much to
kick out of that one. Almost an inadvertent cover there. But from Wyndom
to the snap mare, all action was Burry Wyndham back then man hi elbow
nobody home. I don't know about that. What are the best in the
business? Mm hmm, I don't know about that funker with the j y
D head button all fours so funny, the legs are spread wide. The
funker selling I got a ball, sat going say that again? Backup.
Funk closes the distance looking for the neck breaker on wind and Windham clutches the
top rope and Funk hits the canvas nice counter by window drops the knee.
I want a hey head if as audio, there's always like the anniversary show.
That's been a big show. Of course, perto rica. That makes
sense, Sleig pickup Funk thinking spinning toe hold your favorite inside Cradle countered by
Wyndham. One two Funk kicks out. I love it. I mean I
wish there were people shooting hoops, people shooting just not hoops. Yeah,
harshop high beautiful sunset flip from Windom pulls down Funk two and he kicks out.
This is Terry getting down and dirty here. This is yeah, I
like it, work rate Terry. This is definitely roadhouse Terry. Oh yeah,
for sure. He's well in his way. He looks that's his look
right there. Yeah, this is eighty six. So yeah, you gotta
think yep, yep, oh, Barry Wyndham ramming Terry Funk on the top
bucklet curiously red white and blue ropes here in Puerto Rico. Well, no,
not curiously, that's their flag colors. I shouldn't say that. And
again, you recognize Carlos Cabrera's voice, no doubt on you can't, fucking
I mean that's you can tell his voice from all over the place. Look
at Funk selling up and down he's just bending, he's leaning like a heroin
addict. He's oh ah, and then he just tumbles his head first out
of the ring. Oh Funk comes up somehow with the wooden chair around his
neck. Of course. He then come on, oh are you surprised,
and he finds oh Jesus Christ climbs up in the apron sticks his head between
the top and the middle of rope with a chair wrapped around his neck.
But the chair on the far side, the seat of it is caught on
the rope, so he's like he can't move forward. He's like, it's
like a dog with his head stuck in the doggy door. Only the Funker
would come up on a chair necklace. The best luca in the world,
Terry Funk, Terry Funk, the best loocher in the world. Yeah,
you could say that again. To the corner clothesline. Oh Funk stacks him
up, feed on the ropes. Rough caught him Rough, Cott Funk and
Wyndham staying in the game, coming up, popping Funk in the face.
Irish whip Now Terry hits the ropes Windom with the flying Foe arm and another
whip Funker hits window with a flying lariat chops down the funker cover by window
one two. Now that foot's on the bottom. Ref slap three, but
that's not nope. Ref realizes wow, and then the funk from Funker from
behind O'Connor roll blind siding window one two three, headful of tides. Terry
Funk pulls the rug out from under Berry Windom in the World Title Tournament here
in the WWC. That's what happens when the fun doesn't cast has just started
here does Berry had the branding iron in his hand? Uh oh, Barns,
Barns and and Terry now in the baseball stadium about to do a promo
as we advance in the tournament. Carlos Cabrera holding the microphone, the Funker
holding the branding iron. That fucking hair that dude hours You're going for the
pineoffs against carl Thorn for a universal title. This is fucking yelling. Do
you realize the group of people that I had no wait hey for this opportunity,
this once in a lifetime champs against Carlito Cologne. But I have been
Carlito this competition. I have beaten Rick Martelle Hi, I've beaten Burry Window
he now, who, my god, I have got Carlo Cologne. I
said it before. Cut this island here, there's nothing more than a giant
a big farm. That's right, wow farm. Nothing but pigs live here.
So how could you possibly have a world's class wrestler, ben Carlos Cologne.
I'm gonna go in there, show him up and pay him out,
because why, I'm a Tuxan one meter than a rattle state cover than see
leather, more dangerous and a hollowde corpin, middle age than crazy for the
middle aid than crazy and the next? What ride done? Next Universal Champion?
I will never return to Puerto Rico ever again? How do you like
that? Never? When I ever return to Puerto Rico? Because you people
have absolutely and I gut your buddy. You're yellow, You're yellow slapping Carlos
Jesus Parah slapping them in the head. Oh my god, when I mean
you Now, he takes the thing off the slie wearers, and I want
a hell. I want a hell's following him around, stalking against such a
fucking maniac. I want to talk their language, yes, if I know
a foreign language. If I want to talk to your Porto Ricans like wow,
I'm sure you yellow pigs, I understand that. Wow. Then I'm
when I show you what I slap, what puke fights that I need you.
Wow. That old lady looking at Terry, she is not a dressed
She is not happy with that. You can't and Brenda, they called him
Carlito. Carlito's dad was Carlino too, so it's Capital Sports. Look at
that. That's that's definitely and Gorilla's outfit. So we're going a little out
of order and that The promo referenced that Terry had defeated Rick Martel in the
tournament. Yeah, he was about to face Carlos coloone in the final.
But here's the match. So it's a little bit out of order, Rick
Martel and Terry Funk. This is a fun match. That's I'm okay with
that. Didn't see much of these two crossing paths. In terms of Bobby
eating a referee, I don't know who that is familiar. Definitely not a
Puerto Rican guy. Definitely not Puerto Rican. He's the most Milwaukee looking Puerto
Rican guy. So it's Terry funk Folk Desperado with the tan hide cowboy hat,
the blue leather shawl, the chaps September of nineteen eighty six. Reference
on commentary that are Rick Martel's a w A title run and rain and here
we go. Funk goes for a slap and Ricky Martell drops him with a
right hand. I think he even dropped an elbow in the Funker's cowboy hat.
I think I think he did. I think Rick Martel's losing his mind.
Always so weird to see a wrestling ring in the middle of a baseball
field like the Shay Stadium shows. I mean, yeah, it's it's weird.
Yeah, especially yeah, because they don't fill the seats in you know,
that's the weird. There's no bleachers or risers on the dirt. Rick
Martell fired up here. Of all the guys, Rick Martell and Terry Funk
were never really in the same place at the same time. Yeah, except
in Puerto Rico. Terry walking around bringside around the baseball field with his chaps
falling off his ass. And this is like a perfect playground for Terry Funk.
You know, he can go whole hog heel and he's got all this
space to play around with. Don't put a fucking inflatable sponsored beer can in
front of the guy. That's for sure. He's actually selling getting out of
his chaps on the dirt. Here on the infield dirt, I'm getting a
W A Wressell rock vibes, don't you say that? And super clash,
that's what I meant. Yeah, the Big Dome in Minneapolis. But here
we are, I believe, but Torico plantains up ah, please don't get
me hungry, delicious fungal. Although I'm not sure that's that's Dominican. I'm
not sure that's Porto Rican as well, with that baked snapper for dorinx yep.
So finally Terry Funk gets back into the ring now just as trunks throwing,
punching, putting the boxing out there, Ricky Martial mending it just called
out Sylvester Stallone over the top and over the top. Yeh. Look at
the jabs of Ricky Martel landing. So I guess Puerto Rico had the announcers
piped in over the p a huh. Yeah, it's kind of weird,
fun taking repeated turnbuckles. Ricky Martel just a fucking baby face house of fire
here, Yes he is. There goes Funk, battling invisible opponents. Falling
on his seat. Nobody does that better than Terry Foe, buddy, nobody
should even try. Honestly, nobody does a better discombobulated Yes, said the
funker. I think that's one conclusion we can reach out for all these weeks.
Bunker out to the apron, looking to buy some time, clear his
head. The floor tremendous. You can hear Cabrera over the hope that an
audience can hear everything has something behind his back as he climbs up on the
apron. That's gotta be weird. But the announcer can point out a guy
trying to chimp and the referee has to procure say it right, that looks
like Fenway from certain angles, that green that exact monster to the walls.
What a one of the rare countries they could go to with baseball stadiums besides
Japan, you know, home of Roberto Clementing. Definitely a baseball hotbed back
in the ring now, as the funker solely, no baseball stadiums to work
in Germany, that's for sure, got it. Walk up to the ropes.
Funk throws head butts and left hands on Martel. So this was a
berth for the finals in the Universal Championship Tournament. W w C was the
first with universal titles. Actually really pretty sure, Yeah no, we were
damn it. Body slam top rope. Here comes Funk off the top.
We haven't seen much of this. That's that's all. This is his foot
and lands on his deck and we just found out what exactly right. He
shouldn't go to the world too many times or ever. And here goes Funk
literally throwing wooden chairs into the audience. I think there's a net there,
though, that's stopped. Oh my god, he's throwing wooden chairs into what
would be you know, the equivalent of the first baseline seats, all the
refleys in the count One of the w w C personnel. I'm not sure
who that is, looking like little Ritchie in the Funker's face. Somebody with
enough authority to get Funker to back off. Lionel Richard, That's what I
man. I'm sorry, little little Richard. I'm so glad you knew what
I was talking about. Terry Funk determined, if nothing else, to be
the wrestler you remember showing up and throwing chairs into the audience. Yeah,
yeah, imagine work in him and he just leaves the ring to take about
ten minutes to throw things at people. Well, he went ahead and did
it. He sure did. Back in Coloradobo tie up. Now re engaging
with Rick Martel. Such a different feel, such a different atmosphere. Yep.
Side headlocked by the Funker, push off by Martell, tackle down,
goes Martel in the center of the ring. Funk back off, the ropes
over the top and stumbles. He did that against Hogan too, where he
goes over the top and loses his footing. Flash forward. Look at the
baseball lights. It's wild. The outfield lights shining brightly on the ring.
Only fans on like two sides, not four yep, yep, as we've
seen on the coliseum video. Remember the Killer B's match was pouring rain rain,
Oh god, if it wrestled in these open air stadiums in Puerto Rico,
they if it rained, they still went. Now suddenly fun after it's
shooting the up, yours arm signal to the audience a hundred times, offers
his hand in a handshake to Rid Martel. Rick, needless to say,
the veteran is not falling for that. Seeking to engage honorably, shaking hands
reference showing Rick this is how Look, this is what I would do if
you like to shake your hand. You know what I'm sitting here and went
ahead and shake your hand. I'll go ahead and went ahead. And why
don't you just let me do it? Famous last words, right and the
top wrist lock. Now it's a top wristlock battle. And it looks like
Rick Martel is winning this test of strength. Just a quick sense check.
I want you to consider. You know what star K eighty six about to
happen? Wow, you know in the building status and this is happening in
Puerto Rican Rick Martel cranking vigorously like that's insane. Puerto Rico was a great
place to get cross sections of promotions. You know, you would get guys.
You saw Berry Wyndham in w A. You saw Rick Martell, a
w A funk who's coming off of w w F Association. This is a
company owned in part by Gorilla Monsoon Bruis of Brodie, the number one fucking
vagabond independent you know in the world who never was locked down anybody contractually and
Abdul the Butcher. Much the same would be regulars here. This is kind
of like a great place to see wrestlers who otherwise, you know, be
kept away from each other compete colloeren elbow. Of course, in the end,
everybody lays down for Carlito. Believe Yeah, I'm mistaken that. So
Martell is aside headlock, and Funk is just spinning around like a dog chasing
his tail. Flashed forward here. I think we had a commercial almost they
heard that, Oh low blow by the Funker. He tucked in a kick
to I don't know what. I don't know what happened. I didn't do
anything. I want ahead and I'll just step forward. I want to head
him. Just got out of the hold exactly, Funk aggressively tossing Martel down
to the dirt. The guy. The ring is so fucking filthy. Good
thing they didn't cut their arms. God, the ring is full of dirt.
You gotta walk through dirt to get in the ring. No and no
and no one. I'd got whoa the damn fucking damn the ship. I
guess they don't. They don't. They don't uh clean their feet before they
get in the ring. Huh, all right, all right, Cabrera shut
the fuck up, or Savina Vitch or whoever then is international events have an
announcers that talk the whole time, to the to the to the fans,
so annoying, like, is it's so nasal? Is that your dad down
there? I think so that's where he was. He would hey, I
would think he was the one in the box when Funk came out raw Remember
that? Yes, yes, I can't wait to tell that story when we
get to the w w F second run. That kind of symbolic that we're
here at a baseball field because we are definitely rounding third in our lapsed Funk
journey forgiving that a military guy right there. Yeah, they would have full
military security at these things. Wow, what that riot breaking? Now?
That's that's a big part of the reason to have shows in a stadium like
this is you could keep the fans far away enough from the ring that they
wouldn't be able to charge the ring as easily or hit the wrestler project it.
Rick Flair talks about that, right. Rick Flair talks about how he
almost think killed right. Yeah, that was actually Dominican that was against Jack
Venano, who was like their the island's big wrestling hero, so afraid that
they would hit the ring and riot that he just put Venano over and gave
him the NWA Championship just to get out of there alive. Unauthorized title change.
Nobody even knew about it until you're later months later, because he won
it back before he left the island. I think maybe he never won it
back. I don't remember that piece of the story, but that's that comes
up a lot, because you know, people try to do Flair's cumulative title
reigns and right right, and he says it's been like what fifty thousand title
wines. There's also one with him in Hardley in New Zealand where they decided
just to give the people a little something and called the title change in the
ring without the n w A knowing about it. Snapmaar back in the ring
now after abusing Rick Martel on the on the on the grass pile, driving
him out there, funker, Scott Martel back in his clutches, centering sleeper
hole locked in, and Rick Martel is fading. Ricky Martell, excuse me,
that's right? Arm dropped three times? Come on, Rick Martell's arm
to drop three times? Oh he's gonna go for maybe it's more than three.
In Puerto Rico dropped a fourth time, dropped a referee. What do
you what do you need? He's dead, he's not moving all it.
Ref Oh we got it five times six rough refusing a referee Socca Rabba fight
in Japan, Like shot in the head, yet he can come back.
It's like wait sometimes drops Yeah, it's is not the finish guys, we
can't fucking do it. Martell rallying to his feet. Rick Martell is a
baby face is very uncomfortable for me. Really, No, I think he's
fantastic. It's very uncomfortable for me. Well because I'm used to model,
and you know that's that's how right right. My entire fandom with had Rick
Martel as a as a heel, so it's very awkward. It's always been
awkwardwen to see him as a babyface. Yeah, a w A world champion.
Yeah yeah that was that was rough because I was like, what the
fuck life? And yep on the Wrestling for a Cure show he was the
champ. Yeah, funk. I think using a bit of a wrist tape
to wrap it around Hortail's throat here and now he's masking it with the sleeper
hold, and once again Rick Martel fading fast in the center of the ring,
both men sweating. I'm sure it's humid in September and Puerto Rico.
Oh god, I can't. I mean, it's got to be brutal.
Looking at Ram Martel in the corner buckling, he puts the foot up and
sends Funker in. Funk stumbling around. Martel turns the tide. He's got
something wrapped around Terry Funk's throat. Now, referee, come on, ref
get in there, going nuts, big Irish whip on the comeback as Martel
sleeper. Terry flailing trying to find a way out of here, grabs the
ropes and throws himself out of the ring to break it, and Rick Martel
tumbles out to the dirt as well. Oh look at those fans scrammed.
Here we go. Wow up into the seat, goes to the funker.
Funk comes up where the chair he's chair necklace and he's gonna pile with this.
No, he's not gonna do He's not gonna do it. He is
he God man, No, look at him. He's in Puerto Rico.
Fuck. Actually he's not in Puerto Rico. He's somewhere else, right,
now that's for sure. Looking him on the apron, you're the chair thing
you just did against Burry Windom too, playing the hits in the same fucking
territory, I know, same tournament. Yeah, centering Martell's slamming. Where
you going, Martella? This is the splash, I'll say, Yeah,
that used to be white lettering on that canvas. Oh, it's so gross,
the reality of it. After missing the splash from the outside, end
Rick Martel and dire strait set into the ropes by the Funker. But he
us hilariot. I imagine nobody's blading in this fucking ring. Seah, I
hope not certainly bladed in this territory all fucking day and night. Look at
is that a man or a woman? Then the in the shorts with the
with the pear shape, I mean, you know whatever I tell the sunset
Flip Funk sits on and grabs the top rope and it's it. That's it.
Cheating with the top rope for leverage. Terry Funk is pinned Rick Martel
to advance in the Universal Championship Tournament. Hot action between these two Terry Funk
sort of sleeping the ring Martel beside himself. Hell, you know, you
get no way to complain the ref. Let you continue after your arm dropped
seven times in the sleeper hole. So it's sounding too there. We gos
Terry Funk to take on the one and only Carlito co alone. Look at
him, Look at Carlito Colone looking like look at look at like someone who
marched with M L K. I mean he looks the same like he did
what years this eighty six, I mean he looks like he did in ninety
three at the rumble. Oh totally, yeah, he never changed. He
looks no different. September twenty first, get that out of the way.
Billy Caputo is the ref. That's his name? Who they said, Billy
Caputo? I don't know that it is. This is packed stadium, man,
Look at this, Yeah, look at it's crazy. It's crazy.
The teacher Low universe, you know all those people. Now, let me
tell Carlito, I think it's better if I go over in your territory.
Amigo happened? You Take a look, boss, and you see what a
stadium this is. In September twenty first eighty six Funk first Cologne. Yeah
yeah, said Juan low breelst Bell sounds, Carlia looking to close the distance.
Terry Funk trying to keep the official between him and the top star,
the folk hero of Puerto Rican Professional wrestling, Carlos Cologne. Funk trips over
his own breeches and scrambles the hell out under the bottom rope. Not interested.
What was it? What was the date? September twenty first, nineteen
eighty six, n w A on the ring apron so still part of the
National Wrestling Alliance at the time. Was the w w C. He keeps
showing panoramic shots at the crowd. It is very impressive. The turnout here
is that just two rows on the dirt like they had for the Martel match,
there's probably six exteen seventeen twenty rows auditioned pretty well filled bleachers. This
Funk takes column to the corner, a couple of elbows to the top of
the head, reversed whip, Funk goes inside out, ammcked across the top,
and Carlitosen boots up the middle. Now Funk hung out to dry in
the ropes, and you know what time it is? Back and forth Teeter
Totter ass in the middle rope, clutching the top. Let's have some fun.
Bunk scrambles to the and he launches into the crowd. He's now,
he's leaped the guard rail. He's tipping over their chairs. Why is he
doing that? Well, you know, I love these police following the guy
like he's fucking Castro arriving in the Yeah, oh foreign country. Did you
get a stadium name? Sorry not yet. No, I'm still looking bong
throwing chairs. And this is the platform the dory was talking about. The
ring is kind of on a raised which you do when you do a highly
attended baseball stadium show, right, because if you have the ring right on
the ground, it can be hard for him. Want to see? Wait,
the colosseo, the panchion vsins what again? The colosseo Patson VCNS system
Never heard of that? P A C H I N V I C E
N s interesting attendance of ninety five hundred people, it's more than that.
It does. They're proud of it because you can say how many times they've
panned to it. Oh wait, I'm sorry, I was wrong. I
was looking on the wrong thing. Sorry. The herem Bitthorn Stadium. Yeah,
that's what he's already called in the book. Yeah, that's where they
are. They hearing Bihorn Stadium, big head butt, jumping head butt by
coloone puts Funk on his back, quick one two, Carlos Cologne absolutely handling
Terry Funk and realized that it was a three night event. This one it
was. Yeah, the whole tournament was like a weekend thing, I think.
Yeah, George Napolitano shooting at ringside was always good for the magazines to
shoot Puerto Rico and you get these dream matchups happening. Couler and Elbow.
Now funks back in Colonne to the ropes, ref looking for the break and
Funk not granting it to say the least, hauling off with big chops in
the chest to Cologne, fucking Fierce Funk. Yeah, he was Fierce Cologne
and his Andre Singlet. That's kind of funny, you know, like you
know, in all the journeys, there's always somebody who, uh who we
who becomes kind of a hero and in a weird I mean, I guess
it makes sense in Terry Funk's journey, it would be Terry Funk. Terry
Funk, Yeah, yeah, you know, but he's really the guy,
like I've I've come to appreciate and respect in a way I never I never
thought I was Terry Yeah, Terry Yeah. Pile drives Carlo's cologne on the
wooden platform and propping up the ring, stopping. I'm sitting here thinking,
I mean, really, wouldn't be anybody else. I mean, we've gotten
a fear of green exposure to Jack Briscoe, but not enough to say he's
the hero of the journey. No, that's really interesting. I didn't think
about that till just now. Back up to the apron, the funker hauling
off with left Carlos to a big bump off the apron, good for him,
to the Miller logo. Everywhere this must have been Dorry was talking about,
Oh big lefts on the floor by the funker. Terry is the guy
you call, you know what I mean, like you're gonna go do a
tournament. But the world title means something. Jeez, headfirst into the post,
you know, with the nw A logo on the apron, that means
that, you know, Terry Funk's world title reign in the seventies still carries
cachet here. Yeah, we heard when Terry wrestled a lot of Vans in
nineteen ninety and Fonds does the post match promo. He calls out, you
know, Funk's bona fides is former n w A World Heavyweight champions So that
win over Brisco that kept Funk book for like thirty years. Yeah, I
think right. I was gonna say, I think that that's a thing that
you know, that's that's one of the one of the the real benefits I
think of that of that age of the NWA and stuff, is you know,
you win that championship, and you know you're I mean, if you
get a I mean, yeah, you win that championship, you're pretty much
set for life, like you're good. Well, it's an in point of
marketing no matter where you go, right right, because wherever you go,
those fans have been told on television that the NWA World's Heavyweight Champion is the
guy, right, even if they never see him. Such a select group,
I mean you're talking like six guys, five guys in a decade might
hold it right back in the ring. Now, Funk has locked the sleeper
hold on Cologne and he's even yanking at the hair. Yeah. Ref,
it's the same ref the Ledwick Martel's arm dropped four hundred times, I know,
and he's were in a fucking what is he like? We're in a
tugboat shirt? He's just like he's we stand yeah, I know seriously,
or or in a barbershop quartet raf finally, onto it, Billy whatever his
name is hip to what? Uh? Fox trying to hide the fact that
he's pulling on Carlo's fro. But the only thing he's ever been hip to
this fucking clown right now, fading is Carlito alone. Carlos looks very small,
like is he was he small? He was small? Yeah? Small
instance, it's five for ten, Yeah, arm falls twice, fall a
third time. It's funny his Carlito is the same is the same height.
We didn't expect that like a commercial break is that's right in the middle right,
His arm falls four hundred times, just like Martell's. I don't know
why the refs bother and lift the arm if he's not gonna call the match.
A little butt bumped there from Carlitos gets him free. Hey, Daddy
Funk, not you just hey, Terry Funk is holding Colito's cock in his
hand. Here he comes Carlito's back on the attack. Here he comes,
Carlito coming at the hands of Terry. We're gonna work on translation, Carlos
for next time. They're saying things you don't intend to say. Oh,
look at this. Funk's visiting every corner. Funk took a fifth corner,
he read across the ring and threw his own head in the buckle. I
think it's awesome just through cartwheeling there, jumping head bub here he is.
He's such Oh my god, such a pleasure. The way he gets all
tangled up is so money. It doesn't get old no matter what ring he's
doing it in. Nope, because it still looks like a complete happenstance.
You're right, and and and it's just it's magic. It's wrestling magic.
Just think about the sweep of the places that Terry Funk has taken us over
the course of the laps. Funk like, look where we are right now,
and he's got these people fucking going nuts. I mean, every all
eyes are on everything he's doing. Carlos Cologne got it, Giant Baba got
it, Otto Vans got it. Paul Haymon and Todd Gordon got it.
A Chushio Nita got it. My mom got Jim Hurd got it, and
Jim Ross got it or short amount of time, Vince McMahon even got it.
Yeah, I'm gonna say nothing of your mom, right. Jerry Lawler
got it yep, Eddie Graham got it yep. So now they've hit the
the audience in Carlito is picked up a whole row of chairs they were like
connected together, and he's like just pushing it down on Terry Funk's prone cards.
Jesus Christ, and this has the bakings of a building that you don't
want to be in If Carlos loses, No, not at all, and
you don't want to be in that match, honestly, if you're a fucking
heel facing him, you got to get out of dodge as fast as possible.
This is a country where Invader stabbed bruise of brod you to death in
the shower and then went out. How to match? Yeah, I went
home. File driver on the floor by Carlo Cologne. Carlos Cologne driving Terry
Funk's head into the wood platform surrounding the ring. Here we got food there?
What do we got yues? We have sodas? I am interested,
Actually, I'm I imagine like you know, some some you got like a
cardboard box of sure of you know, like you got some kind of rice
and beans going on and uh plantains yep, yep, yep. Oh.
I think Terry just came up throwing a handful of Henfield dart into the air.
Yeah, this is awesome. Some kind of Puerto Rican chicken dish as
well. Just get this some po brother, brother was what do you what
do you po? What do you mean? Dude? Randy isn't good enough?
Now? Why open on this thing? Brother? What do you dude?
Wait a minute's style this thing back the brother? Are you talking Randy
poff ol loco? Dude? Is that what you said? Said yes,
Terry, That's what I said. That's right. In the finals Terry Funk
finally yeah, crawling back into the ring, but looks like he's trying to
conceal a gimmick. He's got something in his hands. The fans are hitting
to it. Referee is not, though you can see some fans shouting at
the official to take note. Funk has a loaded left. He's hiding Carlito
looking to close in, but the reft turn to keep them separated. For
some reason. Terry keeps switching corners. All these people running around crazy?
What is I know? What is going on? Like attention, Yeah,
that's okay, let him go, I thinks concealing something and Funks trying to
prevent him from discovering it. Finally, Cologne shoves the reft to the side.
Funk swings with the gimmick, but it's ducked. Carlos hauling off with
heavy rights and Funks doing the full turnaround. Cell look at look at those
kids in the back, like I am a nice cartwheel, Carlos wheel and
he's setting up, dropping elbows across the knee of the Funker, softening up
the wheel. Is Carlos Cologne looking to take home another Universal title. A
little drops down a new figure four. I think I think Colone used to
figure four as his finish. Actually it's locked out. Terry wind Millon punches
a motherfucker, but he can't read. He's gonna hit everybody and everything.
Got all the security showing up. That's all must have told him to finish,
right. Finally, Funk gets to the bottom rope hold is broken.
Dory Funk, Oh yeah, there's Dory pre you sure is what he said?
Right? Wow? Suddenly Funk comes alive, popping Carlito in the face,
goes for a suplex. Colone falls across the top, gets a two
count on the crossbody. Terry. I don't know if I should come in
there. He is? Is that him? Hey, hey, Terry,
I'm here. I'm gonna beat him over the head. How about if I
beat him over the head with a leather shoe. Is that Dory Funk that
just struck Carlito with a cowboy boot? It looks a little big for Dorry.
I don't think that story, although he does kind of his face though.
Dory sr cover by Terry One too. No, Carlodo kicks out.
Hey, the fans thought I should do something. Seemed to be reacting to
somebody. I don't know what they're reacting to. Do they know I'm a
former world champion. Stuffs hit, I almost get thrown in the ring.
Now am I a former world champion? I don't really remember. I don't
know if I ever actually won the championship. It's suddenly not no one's watching
the ring all of a sudden. It's like all this activity because people have
found a way to get out of the field. It looks like Yep.
It's so active in the background. There's so much kiosk going on. They're
ready, they're ready to kill Terry Funk if he wins. Seriously, that's
what it is. Funk can colone exchanging headbuts in the middle satches and inside
Cradle two three they bring it home. That's it all right, Terry Funk
can live. Helone wins, Leaping for joy and victory is Carlos Cologne and
Terry Funk comes to Puerto Rico and does business. Yes, he does it.
Gets the hell out of there. Look at look at the people,
look at the mob. Get the fuck out of Dodge. Dude. He
is nowhere to be found. Wow. Lone handed the title and an anti
climactic ceremony. That's that the Funk are there. And now we just have
one more stop in our Puerto Rico tour. And this is the rematch against
the Road Warriors, and this is in Puerto Rico. It's the match that
that Dory referenced in his book. If we toggle over to disc fifteen,
Boss Disc fifteen, those Hermanos funk, Okay, yeah, Los los hermonos
funk. You know Terry Uh, Terry Funk went ahead, and he he
likes to do. You know, the thing about Terry Funk is that he
he enjoys little things in life. And you know, I don't know if
I enjoy little things or littler things, but I think you'll have to find
out. What I do enjoy is I like to get a nice nap in
about three times a day. Well, let's work on that. Hopefully it
doesn't put us to sleep. Here against the Road Warriors September nineteenth, nineteen
eighty seven. Now we're in and if you're ready, we'll hit plays at
the beginning. All right, three two one? Play? Here comes Terry.
Hello, hell throwing shit in the ring? Terry? Do you want
me to throw something into spitting at people? Do you want me to spit
too? Terry? I can spit if you want. I will work on
that. Do you like me to spit something so that very oh they call
them Dory has funks coming up front? For sure, Terry, I don't
know do you want me to do? I don't know if you should be
hitting the people. He's swinging his tall really hard at people. Saw that
steep step he had to get up to the ring. This is definitely on
a higher platform than the one we just saw in that baseball stadium against Carlos
Cologne. Look at the Funker. He's here to fucking kiss people off,
iron Man. That could only mean one team. Look at Funk grab people
by the lapel in the front road. Oh, that guy got up and
shoved him. Look at this incredible he just wants he look at him.
He does. Terry is really asking for him. He's I mean, I
mean, honestly, like you know, he could fucking die. Remember this
is the match where Dory said he worked thirty minutes of it by himself.
Remember this, yep, Fun chasing the wrap away. Look at all that
stuff flying at the ring. Oh my, Terry Funk. I can't Terry
Funk, Can I ask you a question? Yeah? Sure, Donk.
What's what's going? What's on your mind? Well, you know, I
don't know. I don't know how to use a chair. I'm trying to
look at the floor. It seems like Terry. Yeah, Terry did take
the fall. Looking at him, he came up. Yeah, I saw
him go down because they had to bail when the the Warriors hit the ring.
And when they did that, I think Funk bailed on a side where
the But he's right back up. Yeah, he says, my back.
You hear him. Yeah, he's telling people you better know what's on the
floor because you're launching yourself. Yeah. Belafonso is the referee, I believe.
But Terry's up on his feet, man, and he's about to throw
more chairs at the people and throws one to Hawk who catches it handily.
Rogue Warriors crazy. I went ahead and broke my back pretty much. Man,
that's a long fall, Terry. Do you need me? What do
you what do you need from me? Pal? I don't know. Do
you you should? We should we call it and uh I'll just go we
can go home and uh maybe I can. Uh I don't know we can.
We can we can get out of here or something? Or do you
need something more than that? Uh? Terry, I can't hear you over
the over the announcer, he's so fucking loud. I don't know what you
need me to do. They're talking about it. Yeah, Terry, I
was a labored getting up on the apron there. He definitely already tweaked his
back. Wow. Yeah. From the Pilafonso from the Florida State Athletic Commission
they okay, you can start the match. Dorry had to work thirty minutes
by himself. Here comes Terry. I'll tell you. I just don't uh.
I don't think I got thirty minutes in me. Terry Funk circle the
round just fine, alright, he tags. It is more than meets the
eye. Here is Dory. Funk enters. Hawk enters. Hey, ah,
oh god, ah, I don't. I don't like being touched like
this for ah, Dunk, fuck, that'll ring collision with the big Hawk.
Oh ship it goes. Dory goes up for a press. Lamb,
you're kidding. Oh PLoP. He goes. That sucks. Oh, I
don't know if that felt very good? I can I can answer that one
for you, Dunk. If you're still stuck, you can't tag your partner
on the outside like that. That doesn't count. It's fine important. Rico
got to good that Florida Athletic license does for a Bill Afonso Coloraelo to corner
to corner of the went Funker hits takes a buckling hard and the road war
fucking. They just went out there, did anything they wanted. Series of
chops whipped the corner. Funk goes inside out. You know I I said,
I talked about it being thirty minutes. I mean he said thirty seconds.
So waiting for that that moment where you're all on your own, dunk
Terry continues to do all the work. I just can't tell the difference between
between minutes and second. That's the issue. Teetering on the strands, Juan
Ramond else estadio and buy a moan, Juan, Juan, don't call me
Razor from one stupid it's a fun teeter totter spot in the and the rope
hits the floor. Road Warriors now waiting pensively for one of the funks to
enter the fray. Terry slides back in. That'll be Dory actually against animal.
Now, Funk's definitely fucked up. Wow, Terry, I didn't do
it. I didn't do it. For one time. It wasn't my fall,
Terryan. Uh, Terry, I tell you, Terry, I didn't.
I don't think I hurt you this time. I hope I didn't.
But if I did, I mean it's very likely that I did actually hurt
you. But I don't think that I did. Confused dunk Seri's European uppercuts
on Animal whipped to the ropes. Now Animal off the ropes, flying shoulder
of down Dory as Terry just struggles on the apron, but he gets tagged
in anyway, Thanks Platerry. I think, Terry, I think I broke
your back brother coller and elbow. Now it's hawking, Terry Funk. Deep
crotch lifted slam by the hawk. Jesus climb Now, I mean he's taken
some serious bombs for not working the mass. That was a big slam,
Oh Hawk, nobody home on the top rope splash attempt Terry Funk moving out
of the way. Nice intimate scenery here looks like nighttime for sure, and
buy a moan. Yeah, the stadio lights and the outfields shining down Terry
Funk Dory Funk The Road Warriors nineteen eighty seven Wrestling three. This has happened,
Yes it is, and it's a happening. In the front row of
seats goes Animal courtesy of Dory Funk Jr. Who is now picking up a
chair of his own, cracks it across the back of the animal. Oh
talk, sorry, haw comes up, no selling, swatting the chair away
like such a wow. Oh no, no, no, no, no,
no, god, ship how fuck fuck? Oh ship? Oh my
god. Oh. Terry gets stopped in his tracks with half a chair shot
from hawkp Why was he? Why was he doing that? Terry Funk?
How thin that platform is? What the point? What's the point of it?
Now, let's elevate the ring, but you put the you know,
you don't give any surface to work with. Spike pile driver by the Funk
Brothers driving Hawk into the canvas. Terry, Terry Funk. You you you
dive off the top rope and I'll and I'll go right down with the spike
pile driver. Alright, I'm gonna go ahead and jump, okay, oh
oh yea. I didn't know you were going to jump like that. I
didn't know you were going to jump. Now, okay, here I go.
Pile drive. Hey, you got to communicate in there, any great
team does. Although you know, Animal would talk a lot about how there
was almost telepathy between him and Hawk. They could just, of course predict
what the other was thinking and what the other was going to do next without
having to communicate. And Terry going back to the bag of tricks that had
used in Puerto Rico, wrist take It's amazing. It's amazing how you can
do that when you have a ship ton of drugs in your sy. You
know, it's actually rather remarkable, isn't it. Funcus wrapped some wrist taper
around the throat of Hawk and choking him while simultaneously locking the sleeper to mask
at Bill a Fonso of course, none the wiser, looking like he just
did sixteen lines of coke. Bill a Fondo was never the wiser, right,
just cranking away on that sleepers the funker out, This says, uh,
Skywalker's road warriors here, yes, standing his hawks snapmars his way free.
Funk ticks kind of a tepid bump, and now it's Hawk doing the
same thing Carlitos just did. I didn't. Actually, Rick Martel did it
where he gets the tape and chokes him with with it himself over and over,
headfirst into the corner. Buckling goes the funker. There we go a
stumble, a bumble, a reach and takes an upper gu and he's trying
to tag animal who's not his partner, covered by Hawk one too. Terry
Funk kicks out, I don't know's it man. Funk throws a head button.
He's the one who hits the deck limp tag to Dory Funk, who's
now legal animal as well. And here we go irish whip off the ropes
goes Funk, big drop kick animal pulling out the high octane offense here and
buy him on the wet flying tackle. Down goes Dory, covered by animal.
Terry reaches over Yank's animal off. Yeah at the first time, animal
got yanked off on the trip. Herefore double whip by the warriors. So
wild to see Dory and Terry part of to makes oh. There goes Funk
flying out of the ring. Terry that is ref distracted, but it looks
like it's doom'sdate device, although they do it like a heart attack. Boom
and goes Dory. Terryes into a chair and he walk across the back of
animal. Rather Alfonso calls for the bell. The Orientary Funk masters of the
disqualification finish and the tags. Both Funk members over the head Terry going ahead
and stumble, oh my god. The way he stumbles out of the ring,
it's it's fucking money and the road warriors quication the animal on the hawk
the animal in the hawk. Terry throws a chair at the chair wielding Hawk
and they're battling. They're dueling with chairs smacking them. Wow, one of
them shattered. Oh shit, hawks swing up, motherfucker. What the that's
what sounds like? He said, what the fuck? Yeah, that's one
thing, man. The Road Warriors were gonna come off strong, like look
at him, smash that chair. Hawk is pissed. They We're not gonna
let you get away without them looking strong. Animal and the Hawk Puerto Rico
from Ul Japan Pro Wrestling to w w C. Here in Puerto Rico,
the Funk Brothers and the Road Warriors, one last real tag feud. I
guess you could say for Terry and Dory Funk. So many teams, so
many countries. Yes, we're about to close out our Puerto Rican leg of
the journey. It's Savio Vega. Look at him. Oh my god,
look at that TNT against Terry Funk. And we have scaffolding on this baseball
field and Terry Funk is climbing the scaffolo. Oh down the scaffold. Fuck
And I was rolling out of the ring. What the fuck? This is
eighty eight? Now look at the ring. So Terry Funk and tnt Aka
Savio Vega have both rolled under the ring, and now from the other side
out Pops Funk. He's running along the third baseline. Oh my god,
tnt giving chase Savio. Oh now they're all the way in the bleachers.
Now they're actually in the people. Look at what the fuck is going on.
Terry is standing on one of the dugouts. He's getting his ass kicked.
He's a lunatic, he really is. Look at this guy, and
these bands are fucking loving it. Oh my god, of course, get
license to go fucking ape ship hungry, hungry, hungry, And he's the
greatest thread Terry what Terry Funk's the greatest things in sliced bread and swinging in
nothing is the funkers can look at Look at Savia with face paint on.
I know he looks like I mean, he looks like a rotten road,
rotten road warrior. What what month was Brody murdered Buss March? I think
it was marchh isn't it? I wouldn't Terry didn't come back, and that's
gotta be the wrong date for this match. October fifteenth, eighty eight in
the world today, I kind of swore that was like, never came back
after that. He's going to make an example that overrated. Well, it
never came back in ntil he got a good payday. He always comes back
for a good payday. Now back in the ring, Funk pumping the jabs,
still with the chaps on, throws the big left, and Savvio starts
doing his karate thing. Oh my god, look at him. Oh my
god. Well, hey, you know what he does, he would have
some you know, there would be some martial arts absolutely compatibility with with Kwang
after all. Yeah, that's definitely what we see. Oh, Funk hit
the post on the outside and just sprawled out on the grass, just a
whole movie. Oh he's humping the Why is t n T covering Terry on
the grass? The refs in the ring like, that's not that's no boy
ego. I don't know if that's the thing. Pal, Oh my god,
why would they bring those scaffolds out there for Terry to play? Oh
my god, do you think we see Savio Vega on the laps Funk journey?
No, no, I really looks like these people are charged with holding
this scaffolding so it doesn't tip over or like so they don't use it.
It's for lighting, which is failing. Right, tnc comes back in,
Funk goes to the god Irish whipped tn T shot off the strands, sleeper
hole he's got. It's this TNT way before night troil Boss. Yeah,
airing down Savio with the sleeper hole. Now in the ring is the Funker,
dirty back and everything from hitting the dirt on the outside. I'm not
sure why there's English language commentary in this match. I don't know. It's
very weird. States. I've heard of w w C being available on American
television. It's been because you know, it's a Spanish speaking station. Yeah.
It did have a couple of home video releases in the eighties, like
Best of Caribbean Wrestling, and at that collection, Funk cranking as a referee,
raises Savio's hands a couple of times in the sleeper hold. Savio,
still alive, gathering his wits, gathering his momentum back to his feet.
Of course, went ahead and pushed him off one ahead a tackled by the
Funker. He side step takes the blood head and where uh he on?
Soaring through the Puerto Rican evening is the Funker and he's just lying in dirt,
like like the hogs and the pigs that he uh yeah characterized the people
of Puerto Rico asked he wrestled them all. He really did. Here he
is with Savio, fucking Vega. I can't sav looks so thin compared to
what do you still look like? Yeah? No, I know, yeah,
I mean going a whip. Savia was closing and he didn't know Funk
was gonna take the inside out bump. He probably you know, he didn't
have his You know, he had a lot of plantains between now and no
question about that. Then Funk back to sitting in the middle. Here we
go. I wonder what he called this move where Dylan did something similar.
He called it like the beluga whale or something like that. We talked about
it during our award games. He had a name for it one, but
I don't think it's exactly Dylan. He looks like and then he picks up
a table, a little small like table. What's he doing with this?
He's gonta throw in the ring. Oh my god, he's such a fucking
knot. I love when he throws stuff for the ring and he has no
intention of using it. No, your hippo, damn raf your son of
a band. Oh, Terry's swinging the table. Rep's calling for the bell.
You can't have that. You can't bring a fucking yeah like a bar.
Oh my god. Scaffold again and this personnel running over to stop it
from dipping over? What is he doing? Scaffold? What is wrong with
him? What ad you see this? He goes to Puerto Rico to do
this. He's working his way rung by rung down the other end of the
scaffold. T n T kicking him in the head the whole time. Look
at him? Just what the hell is going on? Folks? You gotta
go. I hope it's on YouTube. Terry Funk tn T is just working
every centimeter of this baseball stadium. Oh my god, it's the funniest ship.
He just climbs whatever's in his way. What do you think we should
do now? Going to the dugout? Terry Fun? What exactly? Boss?
Did you see? The damn Terry Funk is still my hero? Indeed,
ding ticket ding ding, ding, didn't didn't didn't? That was fun?
That was fun. So Terry Funk brings his unique brand of chaos to
Puerto Rico here as part of our journey into his international exploits. And we
have to close this part by going where we said we were going to go.
It's time to get explosive, boss fun. Time to see We saw
Terry Funk kind of take it to an extreme in front of an unfamiliar audience,
you know, to strike his stuff. But the FMW i W A
scene in the nineties was on a whole new level in terms of leaving behind
flashpoints and memories for the people to remember Terry Funk by Are you ready to
see him subject himself to three times the punishment than anything you saw in ECW.
No, never been curious about these death these these early proto death matches
that that's no tone for CZW stuff from mar Games. No, definitely not.
I've never you know, because for a number of reasons. Number one,
it is for me, it is too much. It is too much
for me. Number one. Number two, I just you know, there
gets a point where these fucking where they're blowing shit up. I'm like,
I don't it just doesn't it Yep, it takes me out of it.
Yep. You know, I don't have I don't, I don't. It
just don't get I don't enjoy that well, get ready. Another person who
came through Puerto Rico around the same period of time was that Shushi Onita who
came to the United States through Amarilla. Actually much like you know Antonio and
Oki before him and Jumbo Sharuda. Remember we talked so much about Jumbo Oh
you in the journey to get you know, his feet wet in American pro
wrestling territories and become familiar with that way of working and then look to export
what he had learned into the rings of Japan. It was his excursion in
so many ways, and spent a lot of time in Puerto Rico as well.
And you know he uh, he even ran into some difficulty working in
Latin America. On the Dark Side of the Ring episode on Anita, they
interviewed Terry Funk and they were called that at a certain point, Anita didn't
agree with what they wanted to do with him and in terms of booking,
and he was basically pummeled by a bunch of what Terry Funk described as a
Puerto Rican rat pack that just fucking ganged up on Anida to teach him a
lesson and beat him up for real in the Dominican Republic. So he was
getting a rude introduction to how things were enforced on the Puerto Rican side around
the time that we've been watching these matches. And yes, a new Japanese
Desperado, a Funk disciple, is about to revolutionize Japan along with Terry Funk
and taking a lot of influence from the Tennessee Memphis style and all the things
that influenced Extreme Championship Wrestling. Just it's the Japanese version and turned up to
a thousand. It's FMW. So let's start with Terry Funk here talking about
meeting Oneita Okay and kind of engrace hting him into his inner circle. This
is back from dark side of the ring. He had watched me and Bob
Wire matches. He really highlized me. That's why I came to Ambrella being
like Jerry Funk, you know, and what a horrible thing to want to
be. What was your first impression of him when you met nuts. I
spoke Japanese like he spoke English. He spoke English like I spoke Japanese.
We both were lost, but we got along. I was there for him,
I really was, and I bought him a huge car, and I
got him a job and send him on the road the Japanese team of mister
Ronita and Masa Fucci. After Oneita recovers from his injuries, he and fellow
protege Masa Fucci traveled to Memphis, Tennessee to battle in the infamous two below
Concession Stand Brad. He ended sas stand after carrying down and return there it
is setting the stage there dark side of the ring at she shared idolizing Terry
Funk. And here from Funk's book, if you can convey this, folks
to the Solar System boss a little bit more detail on not only how what
she should needed drew inspiration from Terry Funk, but also kind of drew lodging
and training and oversight from Terry Funk in America as well. And you have
it right there. I got involved in FMW. Okay, there we go.
I got involved in FNW after Onita came out to the ranch and talk
to me about it. He didn't have to ask for directions. He had
lived here for a month or two more than a decade earlier. In nineteen
eighty, Masa Fucci and Onita had a wrestled in the Dominican Republic for a
guy named Jack Venino. Banina was also the champion, and Onita was brought
in to wrestle them. The office there wanted Oneina to drop two straight falls,
but Oneita refused to do it and stiffed the Nino in the ring with
a hard cock. What I was just talking about, Yeah, When they
got back to the dressing room, one of the promoters said they wanted to
talk to Fucci and Anita in the office. When Anita went through the door,
about four Dominican wrestlers went in after him and they shut the door behind
them, locking Fucci out of the office. They beatn on Onita until they
got tired of beaten on him. He was hurting when he called me,
and he and Fucci came here and they stayed in Amarilla for a while in
nineteen eighty one. They didn't have a pot to pee in or a dollar
to their names. They stayed until Anita was feeling well, and I got
them booked in for one shot in San Antonio and then for a stint in
Tennessee. While they were staying with my family and me, Fucci insisted on
cooking as his way of making a contribution to the household. Fuuchi would go
into the kitchen and drive my wife raising. He'd get the biggest damn pody
could find, three or four gallons, and he'd fill it up with rice.
He cooked pounds and pounds and pounds of rice with all kinds of other
things. It would take him all kind of take him an hour and a
half, and he tore up the kitchen every time. He made Japanese soup
with rice and all kinds of ungodly things which we have had, which we
had to have every night for supper. But he was taken care of us
in his own way. My daughter Brandy became the biggest fan of Nita ever
had in the States. During this time, she was hospitalized with the measles,
and Onita had to go see her at the hospital, so Vicki took
him. He asked her to stop at the grocery store first, though,
he came out of the store with literally a grocery cart full of candy and
brought it to her in the hospital. Oh hospital. Of course, Brandy
felt better after seeing that, and Onnita got over with her like a million
bucks. I hunted around and bought Fucci and Anita an old Chrysler. I
found it advertised for four hundred dollars. As you can imagine, it wasn't
a luxury vehicle, but it was a usable car, and they drove it
for about a year and a half until it was spent. Fuji had an
international driver's license and Anita didn't, but Fuci was a horrible driver, so
I took Fuci's license in a picture of Onita and used a copy machine to
make Onnita an international driver's license. Fucking phenomenal. He used successfully for about
a year and a half in this country, showed it to the police when
he was pulled over and everything. He came back several times in the nineteen
eighties, like when he tore up his knee in Japan and Baba didn't want
him anymore. Ironically, the match where he got hurt was supposed to be
the start of his big push. After he won, he did this huge
leap over the ropes and out of the ring, like he had done every
night. On this night, though someone had spilled some water on the floor
on the floor pads surrounded the ring. He slipped on the water and cracked
his knee. It tore ligaments, blew out cartilage, and truly shattered his
knee cap. They wired it back together at the hospital. I saw an
X ray of his kneecap and it looked like a spider's web. He bawled
like a baby that night. But I didn't realize the true reason for it
at first, true reason for it. At first, he was crying because
he knew his injury was so severe that he would not be productive and Baba
would let him go. And Baba did let him go. Onnita felt like
the true love of his life, wrestling, was gone. What no one
knew was that injury would turn out to be a major turning point in Japanese
wrestling history because of Onita, because of what Oneita would end up doing.
Onnita stayed at my house and he decided he wanted to import beef jerky,
but that didn't work out. O good story. Then he tried to sell
me on going into business with him selling portable telephones. I said, what
the hell is this? No one's going to use these things over here.
You're out of your mind. That'll never work. I guess I should have
listened to that son of a bitch. Hell, he had cell phones before
anyone did. The other time he had one of my shotguns and told me
he wanted to go hunting. Well, I didn't give him any kind of
safety lesson or anything. What I did was I took him out of my
property far enough that he wouldn't hit the house and just let him go.
He was shooting up in the air at ducks flying around and whatever else caught
his eye. I just went back in my house and wouldn't let my wife
or daughters outside until oneita ran out of the ran out of shells. Oh
my god. He was out there for about thirty minutes and came in.
He hadn't hit a damn thing, but he was very thrilled with getting with
getting to shoot a gun. The times I went to Japan and he was
there as a young wrestler, he'd always try to carry my back, carry
my back. Now he tried to Carny the beef jerky. I always told
him, don't you carry my bags. Just leave him there. I can
carry my own damn bags. Now he was running his own company and I
was working for him. Amazing. Can Terry Funk be more intimately involved in
like more influential figures and pro wrestling at this point, I don't know it's
reaching an absurd level. It really is like everybody has an origin story where
if you take Terry Funk out of it, they might not be superstars,
they might not have made it, they might not have stuck up with it
long enough. And Heronita not only is getting inspiration from Terry Funk, which
somebody have and encouragement, but like I said, accommodations, he became sort
of a member of the Funk family, and that chis show Nita was just
like this one of a kind kind of dare devil character in the nineteen nineties
in the Japanese wrestling scene because, as he mentioned and as was reference there
in the dark set of the ring piece, Onnida suffered an incredibly inopportunely time
knee injury when he was being featured as a real junior heavyweight standout for Bob's
All Japan and that these were completely derailed his career. So he had to
come back doing a style that wasn't so reliant on super high flying and trying
to be part of that whole Tiger Mass generation. And so he settles on
this you know, chain smoking, leather jacket wearing rebel. Basically that would
just you know, lead basically the equivalent of the ECW attitude in the Frontier
Martial Arts Wrestling FMW was a promotion that also featured in the very beginning,
and I guess throughout its existence a lot of matches that weren't just explosions and
heavy violence death style matches, but also like martial arts versus martial arts,
you know, yeah, they would present like a boxer versus a karate master
or whatever. And Onita actually did that very early on. He challenged a
karate master by the name of Mashashio Yagi in nineteen eighty nine. As Anita
tried to find kind of, you know, a hook to draw people in.
He wanted to not just be a wrestler. He wanted to promote.
He wanted to be behind, you know, shepherding and new organizations in Japanese
wrestling. And it was this nineteen eighty nine matchup that was a clash of
styles between the wrestler and the karate master where he took a ton of stiff
kicks. There was blood, hardway blood all over the place. She really
wanted to make a little like a real fight, and power bombs that fold
people in half, like the way you'd power bomb someone in the street if
you really wanted to hurt him, you know, not not go opera.
Yes, absolutely, And the response to that match, despite you know,
being outside the auspices of the big two Japanese wrestling offices, gave him confidence
that his vision for a harder edged presentation of pro wrestling in Japan could in
fact work. And apparently there was some story that as a kid he had
been hurt by barbed wire and he he always so regarded barbed wire as kind
of like this ultra dangerous thing that had all these connotations to it, and
then he started to experiment with putting explosives in the barbed wire, using,
according to Funk and Foley as they talked about these times, actual stuntmen,
stuntmen, what's the word, special effects people from movies. Yeah, Yeah,
to bring in what they would use to recreate big explosions and introduce that
into the wrestling arena and book these wide open baseball stadiums. Or he even
did a match one time on top of a pool in the middle of the
water, so that there was plenty of room for the Jesus, the explosion
and all the shrapnel, I guess you could say, to travel without injuring
anybody. And it revolutionized, you know, what we think of as that
kind of wrestling in Japan and created a tremendous buzz in the United States that
there were these incredibly crazy, violent matches that US notables like Terry Funk and
Mick Foley and Terry Gordy and leather Face Dan Severn went over there, not
to participate in the death matches, but he was part of the IWA scene
when they were having those kind of matches. Tracy Smothers was over there as
well, just like this weird what the fuck is going on out there?
Like we think what ECW is doing is over at the top, and then
you start hearing about you know, glass tax aquariums full of piranhasesus. I
mean, I was just fucking dumbfounded by some of the things I was hearing
in the nineties about what was happening in these promotions in Japan. And it's
all because you know, Terry Funk took this kid in and you know,
just sort of let him be as quixotic and weird and crazy as he wanted
to be, and it's it's wild that he played such a key role.
So when it came time for the phone to ring, as Shushanita had set
up Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling FMW was a powerhouse in Japan as a company worth
reckoning, with a company very much on the rise, it was time to
bring in Terry Funk. And the question we always have at this point of
Funk's journey, right boss, is why, yeah, why did he do
it? Here he gives an attempt, perhaps to explain why FMW. How
would you describe a typical fmwpark for match where the things you'd see in it
a lot of guys that would go to know and to self annihilation other bodies,
to have a better match than what the opposition did, to have a
better match than the opposition did. M That's why he did it. No,
that makes sense, Sam, or at least to do something that would
stand out visa be the competition, and you're not going to go out there
and do a Masawa style match in FMW and get noticed. Not to say
Terry Funk had that in him anyway at that point in his career, but
this is, you know, in a world old where it's about standing out,
and in a country where it's so much about the magazine coverage. It's
so much about doing things yes right, so true that could get you in
the cover of magazines. This was something the photographers were not going to miss.
It's kind of reminiscent of the attention the Road Warriors got in eighty five
that we were talking about, where it's like, you got to see these
fucking costumes in this origin story and this over the top looking thing. You
know, you know you're gonna get magazine coverage if you look that flashy and
you're knowing a magazine coverage. If you know Terry Funk, one of the
most beloved American wrestlers ever in the country of Japan, is falling on fucking
exploding barbed wire boards, it's pretty safe bet that they're going to cover that
closely in a way that otherwise FMW might not be able to poke through the
noise of all Japan and New Japan. So nineteen ninety three comes along and
it's time for Terry Funk to venture to FMW to battle a wrestler in many
ways, he mentored in net Shushio Nita it's the super time Bomb match.
Do you remember when we did that one aw live call where they had the
loading ring match and it went nowhere? Remember that, Yes, between Moxley
and Omega. Awful, It was awful. It was all from here.
All those guys are like FMW marks and John Moxley comes out to wild Thing
because that shoes sho Neda came down to the ring to wild Thing in FMW
and in this match in particular, and the idea of the end of that
match were like Eddie Kingston jumps on John Moxley to protect him from the ring
exploding. I'm sure it comes from here too, as we'll see as that
shoesho Nita has second thoughts about leaving his mentor in the ring, defeated for
the ring to blow up with him inside of it, and jumps in to
try to shelter Terry Funk from the storm that was to come. So the
it's kind of weird that we end up in a place in pro wrestling where
this is like stuff that's being recalled, stuff that's being reimagined. It just,
yeah, not the stuff that I really wanted to be fucking reimagined.
Right before. Aw there wasn't really a platform that was on national television at
least that would be willing to kind of go here and consider this stuff classic
enough to resurrect. You know. It's kind of like this is of its
place and time, and really, you know, FMW was FMW and that
was it. It was the last kind of thing I'd expect to get a
second lease on life through the lens of a national promotion. But enough of
these guys that love this stuff and were google ied over this stuff in the
in the nineties ended up under aw contract that it doesn't seem so far in
the past, this kind of notion of lips like this. So for Terry
Funk to come to FMW, it changed the perception of what Onita was doing.
Well. It was quixotic and weird and crazy and definitely drew a crowd
and drew attention. For Terry Funk to come there was like, Wow,
these guys are here to play. You know, the Terry Funk is a
big deal still to the Japanese wrestling public, and for him to come to
FMW and not come back to All Japan Pro Wrestling, it was a very
big thing. This was the first non All Japan Japanese promotion Terry Funk worked
for, and it was for his old friend at Chushio Nita. And yeah,
it seemed like according that Dark Side documentary, was motivated more than anything
just to show Terry Funk how successful he had become. You know, it's
kind of like a son trying to show off for his dad, you know,
yea, and not more than anything. Was what motivated him to get
Terry Funk in the door was to be able to show him the success he
was having and essentially to be proud of him, as far as I can
read between the lines is what he was saying. Because they actually were able
to sit down with Anita and through a translator, interview him at length for
the documentary, which was really cool. Woo, yeah, that's cool,
very ambitious to take that on with knowing he doesn't speak a link of English.
That they made it work. But he was running his own company and
I was working for him, Funk recalls. He told me about the company
and how it was doing, and then he told me he'd pay me twenty
grand to work one match. That was really all it took for me.
But I told Anita there was a call I needed to make first. I
called Baba well, and though I hadn't worked for him for quite a while,
I said, Baba, I'm going in for Anita if you'll allow me
to. I knew he would, but making that call was a part of
showing him respect, which was just how business was done in Japan, graciously
and properly. I was always able to stay on good terms with Baba because
I busted my as for him all those years. I'd never screwed him around,
and I hope he never thought I screwed him around. Well, that
means he definitely did. That's Terry trying to address something. That's the un
actual thing you can tell. I never jumped to a nook, which is
I guess true because when he went to New Japan, it wasn't really Antonio
and Oke's shop anymore. I mean he was around and still kind of wrestling,
but I don't know, I don't know about that one. But no,
I mean this was still you know, it would be like Vince saying,
no, don't go to E CW. It's like whatever, right,
you know, it was still low key enough that it wasn't considered a move
of aggression for Terry. Funk to make this jump, and here he reflects
on coming into the match you're about to watch next, the nineteen ninety three
no Rope Explosive barbed wire time bomb deathmatch A third ninety three against Onita.
Here he is commenting on dark side of the ring. It was Taedium Pool
thirty forty thousand, and they don't charge fifty cents a ticket over there either.
There's the idiots as the front row people. We're gonna have an exploding
ring match tonight. I want a front road ticket. Bullshit. Did they
show you where the explosives were going to be and stuff? Why? Hell
no, I had no idea. I just went out to the damn right.
I'm a glutton for a crowd being into a match, you know.
I was just out there ready to capture that crowd, and we did.
Do you remember being satisfied with what you were paid on that match? Well?
Hell no, I wouldn't satisfy. Huh. Never saw. I don't
need it after a match either till I came back the next time. I
think he ran. I'm made off with the bag too. I think I'll
write ahead, I think you took off. So let's go disc nineteen,
Boss, I hope you're ready for this. No, get you, get
you more decidedly out of your comfort zone. And you have been to date
probably on the whole history of the show, with the exception I guess if
CZW in the Art of War Games that one was that was off kind of
like that's what it's kind of like the natural outgrowth of what we're about to
watch. Go to twenty nine fourteen, please and again it's the meeting between
Anita and Funk. The story's there, the mentor menee relationship. Anita goes
to Amarilla, learns the ways of the ring under the tutelage of Terry Funk,
lives with the man, learns from the man works. American Promotions comes
back forms FMW gets it to be a hot promotion that's capable of paying Terry
Funk twenty grand to come in. And Terry Funk comes in and now he's
working for this kid who was sitting around, you know, joking around with
his daughter and trying to import beef jerky. Are you ready yes, three,
two one play yes. So there are explosives around in this ring.
The f m W ring announcer who was handed the reins of the entire company
after Onita had to skip down. We have a horrendous looking barbed wire around
the ring. Look at the shards of wire and look at the explosion,
the explosives and nest in the wire. So when these guys hit the barbed
wire, there will be in the locker room and his white uh bomber jacket
wristed fist's tape. Jesus Christ, what a fuck, What a mind fuck
it must be to go out for So there's the funker. Look at this
man. What is he doing? Well, why is he going to do?
I don't know, I don't know why he did. Why he's doing
this looks horrified. Nineteen ninety three. It built this up big time too.
It was a big story kind of thing, you know. Cane,
cat cane. They hover on a pensive Bonita sitting on a bench in the
locker room looking down at his fists. Got much space from the ring to
the foot row. Yeah, because you could fucking die. Harry comes and
I love him like this is dubbed over music. I don't and I am
paying. And then a funker is back in Japan. After Now, let's
not forget this is before ECW went extreme right like a full year before that.
I was kind of struggling when we're doing the ECW leg of the journey
to not dive into this stuff because e c W was becoming what it was
becoming in no small part because of what was happening here in FMW and the
notions and the gimmicks and the ideas and the vision for wrestling the Terry Funk
was bringing back with him going to Japan to work this kind of stuff.
As it was always the case with Terry Funk, he saw what was coming
around the corner precisely because he was always booked in Japan, and Japan always
was five years ahead of what was about to happen in American wrestling. It
says nineteen ninety three, and this thing is filled with explosives. Think of
the how anadyne and childlike wrestling was in ninety three to us. I mean,
that's Hogan winning the title at WrestleMania nine. That's you know, comes
Onita on the big wild Thing entrance, Oxley reaching for this. To this
day, this magic Aornita full Goldberg entrance right from the locker room. Yeah,
yep, it's just wild that this was just a kid who lived with
Terry Funk. And now look at this place. I think this is Kawasaki
Stadium. I think there's a big baseball stadium in Japan. Sure you take
a look at that for me, puts your mind Anita Verus Funk Stadium.
Taking a moment and slowing down his pace. Halfway down the isleway is Onita
and he makes oh, he's facing off with Funk halfway up the aisle.
Funk isn't even in the ring right now. He slipped back out at Kawasaki
Stadium, thank you. That's a very big stadium in Japan. So they
were getting noticed. You know that the kind of crowds that would be drawn
in to see what would happen in an environment like this were substantial. And
this this Terry Funk. We're forty one thousand people and this is with no
TV. You know, this is like it's like ECW doing forty one thousand
people. Pretty wild. In fact, DCW would actually go to Japan in
ninety seven in cooperation with FMW and do some shows. All DCW guys got
to wrestle in Japan. The referees dressed like a fucking knighted samurai and our
where and this Terry Funk here, this outfit, this whole look. I
think this is the picture a picture of him here that they put on his
the cover's book. What he looks like on the cover of his book.
Oh, Nita, have you prepared yourself? Boss? I mean, is
there can I is there? Is it possible? I don't know? Oh
jesus, how fucking daunting is that referee? Like it looks like I'm not
to enter like a nuclear power plant. I I feel like this maybe one
I got a watch with my mom. I think yeah, I think so.
I'd highly recommend it. I'll let you be the judge though, after
all said and done, Like he's wearing a fireman's hat, and why is
it all silver? Like he looks like one of those creepy statues that uh,
you know in Europe, you know where the the person just stands still
for three hours. Yeah, that totally on. Plus look on the face
of Anita Funk kinda in his definitely in the zone. He's like heavily concentrating.
He's not acting like a wild man. He's no, he's probably horrified,
probably saying to himself, you know what, I might die tonight yep,
So possibility distant, but there l sounds rounded applause. They're excited to
see what's gonna happen. That wire is gnarly, just like the Saboo wire,
So think about it. Funk had done this forty years before he did
that barbier match with Saboo. Yeah, but I'd like this that match and
many others that he fought in with barbed wire. Funk is bare chested,
he does not have a T shirt on. Pretty fucking nuts. And there
we go. Call her an elbow center ring Anita locking up with the Funker,
and every inch you don't want to give an this one. You want
to stay as far away from that perimeter as you can. Yeah, from
w logo in the corner. This so's so buzzed about at its time,
man Terry Funk is doing what So it's a battle of wills, both men
fighting and just a collar and elbow that's all this is. And people are
going nuts because you know when you touch the wire, it's gonna blow up.
I like that story Funk tells about pissing on an electric fence when who's
a kid. Yeah, get a ton of mileage out of this lock up,
baby. Let me tell you a lot of communication. You can hear
from shouting. Someone's gonna die. Anita is being edged into the wire.
Boss audit a oh my god. Oh he fights it off. Oh and
Funk breaks it with an elbow. Whoa, they go. The crowd's going
crazy for that. Oh knife fetch chopped by the Funker, brings that shoe
show needed to a knee. Us what Funk boxing? And they applaud as
he lets the jabs go. Oh Jesus Christ like he's smoking. Look at
his back. Oh my god, let's just talk say things. Respond react.
I don't does I don't have a reaction. It is. I mean,
it's like so we can get he really a burn there our first explosion
of the match, as a big left from the Funker sends Anita into the
exploding wire. What the fuck? Back to the jabs goes to Funker.
Anita's like he's in a stand of shock. Yeah, I mean you have
to be look at he's got Look at that leg char like what was busted
open on his arm? Wire. Funk's trying to drag him by the hair
of the wire again. He's a little like small, almost egg shaped bombs
in the barbed wire. I just don't even understand, like what it's supposed
to do. It's supposed to make a loud noise. Oh, pile driver
by Terry Funk. I look how busted up his arm already is a Terry's
gonna take you everywhere, everywhere? Yeah, whether I want to or not.
Direct swinging neck breaker by the Funker drops the knee right in the face.
Cover wants this overweight. Yeah, me too. There we go again.
They're talking all the wiring in those barbed wires. No Jesus, Anita
whipped in. Explosions go off, and he lays back into the wire as
if conceding to the pain. Holy shit, it's like it's like when you
when a fly hits the fucking exactly, you know, get him up,
your son of a bitch. Funk screams as they chann Onita or a Kawasaki
stadium. No, Nita's acting like he just like came out of a toxic
shock syndrome. I don't know if he's acting like that, I don't know.
I think he might be feeling that fuck you up to have that go.
It's I think it might be real disorienting. Look at his his arm
as fucked. Anita snatches a side headlock and they come alive, but Funker
goes to the shin breaker, bad wheel and Anita. As we've established so
Terry pretty much unscathed. So far, it's been Oneita taking the brunt of
the explosive blows. Now do you see why the ref is dressed like that?
Like it's about to start me? I don't think. I don't think
he's worrying enough now, Terry dragging Anita across the map. Look at that
wound on his arm. Is how you like your pro wrestling boss, Not
at all. I do think my mom would find this very funny, very
fascinating, though, I mean would find it funny. I'll find it funny.
Funk dragging Anita by the hair as close as he can get him too.
That wire set off another bomb. Who gives a fuck? He's gotta
up the hair off his head. I know he really is. Look how
close his eyes out of the wire. Oh my god, he's gradually moving.
He need his head closer to that perverse fencing. Anita slowly lifts to
his feet, hooks the waist backdrop driver attempt. No Funk blocks it by
holding out of the hair. It's smart. Oh but he explodes. Oh
thank god the backdrop driver doesn't need us Jesus planting Funk into the canvas and
buying himself some time. As he's looking, he's looking around like he just
emerged from a car that crashed. I need to stop wrestling watching this match.
That's right, Anita, I need a lot watching I need I need
a stiff drink. Punk stays on him with a Jay Whitey head button.
Now again, he's grabbing a need about the hair and trying to throw him
into the barb wire. We Needa grabs Funk's hand. Terry shirtless, Terry
unprotected, Terry man. I mean you say that, but I don't think
Anita has at all. Oh my funking the explosive wire fots thoughts, thoughts,
it's the lapsed Funk. I don't have any I'm just this is I
mean, look at his arm. Anita's arm is a complete Funker stands is
gonna stumble into the wire again. What a way to incorporate the classic Terry
Funk cell yep Oh, these people are like hanging on every single thing these
guys do. But once they obviously once they hit the wire, the one
wire they you know, you can't go back there because think how it worked.
Ye Anita Lance Funk with a wonderful DDT Funk bleeding profusely from the forehead.
Jesus cover by Onita one two and Funk kicks out. I just love
that. Polite rounds of applause for kicking out of a DVT. In the
middle of this right side headlocked by Anita, Funk trying to count again with
a shin breaker lifts Anita. You can't quite get them up high enough though
that time he gets them. It's interesting to watch a match. You can't
hit the ropes, you know, yeah, I mean that's yeah. That
is a big gash in Anita's right arm. Holy shit. Oh, Funk
comes up with the wild left and they ooh and ah, that one is
the ref almost caught some of that fucking shrapnel, the wires that hang top
to bottom, the explosives. That's so creepy to me. I agree,
ad butts from Anita Funk with his back to the wire. He's stumbling in.
He's stumbling in, he's losing his fighting. One more, here we
go, two more now, Oh my God Jesus, look at the wire
and his shirt. Terry snatched Anita after forehead butts sidestepped him and threw Anita
into the wire. Anita didn't just hit the wire, he hit the Look
at the The blood is all over him. He's a master. This guy
had his hand pretty bad too. It looks like fucking astronaut just wants to
get back in the ring. Look at him. Look at Anita. Oh
his hands fucked. Something happened to his hand. Man Like, I see
this is the thing, you know, Like what what the are the risks
worth this? God? Like, he's completely cut up and his hands busted,
But we're gonna continue. Eda gets in the rings, swinging on his
knees like a drunk man kind of Oh, Funk gets up. This is
so brilliant, man, how he works the stumble into almost tumbling into the
wire. Because you've been watching Terry Funk, you know he falls out of
the ring all the time. Oh no, a five minute countdown? Oh
my god, what happens at five minutes? Oh they put those red lights
in the buck on the post. I forgot about that. Listen to that,
and they're fucking punching each other in the head like hockey, Like a
hockey fight in the middle of the ring, Funk swinging for the fences.
Is that menacing enough for you? Bops? What happens in five building?
Blow up? What the ring explodes? So they have to win? Supposed
to get pinned before the ring, before the Yeah, you want to get
the wind before that time, otherwise you're not gonna win. You just gotta
get out of there. Such a menacing sound. So perverse the lapsed funk,
I mean, yeah, it's like one of those uh air raid sirens
clacks on alarms or whatever, you know. Funk with several head butts,
But Anita stands tall and answers. Both men like two rams stumbling into each
other. Funk falls, Anita falls. Three point fifty six five left on
the countdown clock. Funk falls, Anita falls, but no pin falls.
Yeah, a couple of ear falls so far. I mean, come on,
I know for a fact that we're not going to see a pin fall
before the five minute countdown. See wild left from the Funker. This time
drops, Anita's gonna spinning told they pop for it so over in Japan.
This move was so weird. He's twisting these on Onita steps over twice with
it does Terry Funk three three point fifteen left before shore doom? Oh no,
oh Jesus, Funk kicked off the toe hold and stumbles bare back first
into the wire, which explodes and Funk hits the mat, convulsing. Oh
my god, the burnt Yeah, the ash at least nasty. Unk stumbles
into another DDT from Onita cover by Adita two three Funk Wow takes the fall
with about two minutes and forty seconds left. Why is the countdown still happening?
The ring blows up. No matter what happens before five minutes before the
end, they're still fighting. Maybe it's most falls. Oh no, that
was it. Yeah, they were just playing his music, but Terry still
attacking him anyway. We announcer frantically making announcements. Funk's arm is all jacked,
look at him and cuts he's got in his arm. He is out
of his mind. And again this is the Terry Funk that ECW already had.
Who did this? Ah? Funk grabs the ref elbows in behind the
head, knocking his helmet off because the ref is trying to get him off
of No Nita, well, Anita grabs the helmet and crowns Terry Funk with
it. As this fight continues, the bell sounds continuously. Is Anita plants
Terry Funk with another DDT? We're at a minute forty five? People are
starting to stand here in Kawasaki Stadium. Oh no, the pat never need
a power bomb. Here it comes Plants Terry still fighting. Anita's pulling Terry
Funk back up by his hair elapsed Funk. Oh Jesus really got him up
for that pile power bomb. So referee has got his witch back about him.
He puts his shock Master helmet back on and at five and at four
they keep ringing the bell. The ref's trying to get Anita out of there.
One minute to goo. Ref gets the fuck out. Why don't they
leave now? Anita's on his knees in the ring, still looking around.
Get out of the ring, for fuck's sake, what's wrong with you?
Terry Funk flat in his back, bloody forid, bloody arm, convulsing motion
other than that, motionless If he wants to respond to this countdown to doom,
his body's not allowing. And finally, Anita slouches himself out underneath the
bottom strain of barbed wire the victor eighteen seventeen sixteen. Terry left convulsing like
a fish in the middle of the room. Wait a minute, Anita goes
back in. I need to try to wake up Funk slapping my face by
four two? What m h? And they play it like a movie.
Yeah, I was gonna say, it's like fucking Anita collects that a bloody
carcass of Terry Funk shielding him from the fucking napalm and they walk out,
arm in arm. Anita couldn't stand to see that happen, Terry Funk,
boss. That was the message there. I guess we have storytelling and except
you guys could have left the ring earlier. They could have left the ring
earlier. Yeah, he could have dragged him out before it went off if
you cared about it. But I think Anita has the microphone now kind of
was it conflicted about whether he wanted to leave Terry to that fate or not
until the last minute, rying into the microphone, is you? Anita throws
down the mic. Terry Funk arm around. Nida led to the back.
Both men did some business here. They collapsed in the aisleway Jesus, what
did you think of the explosion? I mean, in what way? I
don't know anything you want to say about it. I mean it was a
better explosion than the fuck a w one. It was so much better that,
like everyone has failed trying to repeat it since next time. I appreciate
everything you did for me out there. Thank you. I made it from
my heart, thank you. But I cannot mean, Matthew, no,
next time my rules you wrestle were match before you wrestle, blow up match
before next time, teachers rules, you understand. He's like no, or
Anita left looking after looking at his mentor like you're really going to make me
kill you dude. H. So there you have it. I know you
loved it, boss, and I'm glad to hear it. So the explosion
was better than the aw one for sure. Yeah, what I just it's
like it's just so I just don't I mean, I get it in a
way, like everyone's trying to do something different, but it's not like they
really care about it being extremely safe. No, it's like it's a it's
like it's a weird. It's such a weird thing cause it's like, you
know, they're trying to create movie magic, yes, in real life,
and it just doesn't work. And it's also dangerous, and it's like what
the fuck, Like, I mean, like you're not it's it's fake guys.
Ah, you know it's like you don't you don't see major sports having
to introduce some fucking explosions to because it's real, that's but wrestling it's fake.
So you've got to go this far to draw people in to getting that
feeling in their gut like this is actually dangerous. You know, this is
actually competition, or this is actually risky. We're actually seeing something on the
line here instead of just you know, a performance playing out white some thing
Long said in this book. Spent a week there for FMW nineteen ninety three,
and my last night in we did the exploding ring match with the ropes
replaced by barbed wire would land mine strapped in with at Kawasaki Stadium. I
had no idea how powerful or dangerous these things were. I put my trust
in the dynamite man's hands. The barbed wire didn't bother me, but the
explosions did. The First time Anita whipped me into one of the explosives,
my first thought was how loud. The thing was don't ask me what it
was that blew like that, but the percussion from it also pounded me pretty
good. Those were some brutal matches, and I saw Ania take a lot
of stitches after they were over. He had a lot of from other matches
too. The amount of stitches he had done was just ridiculous. Hell,
I've glued together cuts or taped them shut and just went on down the road.
I've saved tons of money doing that. The fans in FMW weren't like
the All Japan fans and all Japan when I'd been there. Their fans would
politely applaud and only get really excited on rare occasions. Although the clapping became
less as the crowd slowly got more Americanized over the years, the FMW fans
were wild. They were in love with Onita and the stuff he put on.
Evidently his promotional philosophy worked, because you don't put forty one thousand and
fifty thousand people in Kawasaki Stadium without having a good game plan. Are you
looking for a good booker, Kloeida? No one else in the world would
have done what he did to get over at that time, and now he
was the celebrity and millionaire he'd always wanted to be. Every time I would
arrive in Japan and see him, the first thing he'd have to say to
me was, Terry, I am big star. Now nowadays it's Terry,
I am senator. Senator. Well, no shit, you're a senator,
Funk wrote. I knew it before he told me, just like I knew
he was a big star. But that didn't matter. He had to tell
me every damn time we moved forward. Terry Funk would continue to wrestle in
FMW. Had a match, for instance, in ninety three, teaming with
Tarzan Goto, another exponent of the Japanese death Match, against the Sheikh and
Sabu, which was a bit of a full circle moment for Funk and Sabu
and his uncle. So, of course, the chic Terry Funk shared to
ring with in the formative days of All Japan and those Wild Tag League finals,
so they imported that dynamic to the death matches of FMW as well.
Nothing really, that match we just watched with Onita was promoted as a hyper
special thing. It wasn't like every match was filled with that kind of violence.
A lot of it was pretty straight wrestling, but when they went hard
on the death match stuff, they went harder than pretty much anybody else going
at the time. Another group sprouted up trying to copy and kind of doing
in a lower budget way but with a big talent budget still what FMW had
done. It was called IWA IWA Japan, and it was IWA where the
Funk Cactus Jack King of the Death Match Tournament happened, not FMW. So
FMW continues to go and IWA is formed and Funk gets signed on to them
by ninety four. The match we just watched with Anita was in ninety three,
and in ninety four he's in there having rings surrounded by fire matches,
okay, and just generally, you know, these fucking burning lanterns hanging from
the ring ropes while he's in there punching the shit out of people. At
Kirohioo and sho Jinakamaki and Nobutaka Raya and these sort of you know, Japanese
grown deathmatch specialists. There were wrestler's boss that were coming up in the circuit
that, unlike Onita, they didn't have pedigree in the major wrestling companies.
They were getting a go in a business really because they were willing to do
these risky matches. We saw that with the American backyard wrestlers of the nineties,
remember that I do. Some people just showed up like willing to take
incredible risks and stunt bumps, and there were places for them, There were
places for them to get work doing that and doing that to themselves, and
that all started in so many ways in the early nineties in Japan the mid
nineties with promotions like IWA Japan. There was a huge event on April second,
nineteen ninety five, as Weekly Pro Wrestling, a key publication in Japan,
put on a tokyotom show featuring participants from like what was it, thirteen
different wrestling promotions under the same roof. It was a huge event. It
was one of the actually it's one of the biggest events ever held in Japanese
pro wrestling, fifty thousand in attendance. It was called Bridge of Dreams I
think is the rough translation of what it was called in Japanese. April second,
ninety five Tokyo Dome and Terry Funk stepped onto that stage along with representatives
from all the major offices and there was a there was a six man tag
where a leather face showed j Nakamaki. In Terry Funk defeated head Hunter a
Headhunter b Remember the head Hunters from that Royal Rumble Boss, those big Abdul
the butcher looking guys. Yes, yes, four hundred pounds with a cactus
jack And that was a barbed wire board and barbed wire baseball bat bunk house
death match as Funk and Cactus share a death match in Japan really kind of
for the first time in April of ninety five and Pro Wrestling Tokyo Doom Show
and his book, Funk writes the Headhunters were about the only guys who ever
did catch me the right way. On Moon Salts, another match in Japan
involving Onnita, I did my courageous moonsalt off the top o need a cactus
in Mike Awsam somehow missed me. Remember we watched that. When we were
talking, yeah about that, nothing was there for me except the floor.
I ended up with a hymotome on the side of my head the size of
a softball, and for the rest of the match, I wasn't sure where
I was or what I was doing I need to try to toss me back
in the ring in Victor Quinonez Ridic Quinonez was a big part of IBA two
and was a big part of convincing Terry Funk to go work over there.
My manager came running down to the ring to stop the thing because I was
out on my feet, just knocked silly. After the show's over, I
ended up taking another trip to the hospital. I'm grateful to this day for
Victor's help. I sure hope those guys never get the idea to try to
play baseball, because they damn sure it can't catch. But getting back to
the Tokyo match again ninety five, here, Cactus and I came close to
getting to some real trouble. During the match, Cactus was going to set
fire to a board. We had talked about it earlier. This doesn't go
well with Terry Funk and Cactus Jack, and they don't. They don't do
well with this stuff flames. We had talked about it earlier, and we're
both in agreement that we needed to do something special to call attention to our
match, which was the only fifth which was only the fifth match on the
Big One of the Japanese officials. Apparently he had seen some of the things
we had done before because he said to us, no fire, you'd use
fire. Fire Marshal closed down hold dome, but Cactus and I felt like
we'd get some great publicity out of this and decided to light the board.
Anyhow, we got to the spot in the match and Cactus and I were
the only ones in the ring. He squirted fluid all over the board and
got out the lighter. While we were both lying on the mat. He
kept flicking and flicking the lighter but wasn't having any luck, mainly because he
was holding his hand upside down and was trying to light the board as it
lay on the mat. He kept on burning his hand, and then he
dropped the lighter, pick it up, and repeat the whole process. If
he thought to raise up the board and light it on its side, it
would have gone up beautifully, and I guess we would have closed the show
because after his fourth filed attempt, the fire department guy saw what he was
doing and started going nuts. The referee was trying to stop the thing,
but all that kept it from happening was that Cactus kept burning his hand and
dropping the lighter. If we'd closed that show down, we'd have been immortal
in Japan. That's what he's going for, boss. He wants to be
immortal in Japan. He already is. Did no one tell me he is?
Dude, he already was. That was what we had in mind.
Of course, we never would have been asked back to Japan to work for
anyone, but we weren't looking that far ahead at the time. Between the
wrestlers and the fans. We also might not have gotten out of the dome
alive. With fire department officials hopping up on the ring. Apron Cactus finally
gave up and went on with the match. When we got back to the
dressing room, Asano, who was the promoter, was screaming, no fire,
no fire, You ruin me, You ruin me. Then he grabbed
the referee and bitch slapped him. He was slapping the referee, I guess
because there was no way he had the balls to try to slap Cactus for
me. He didn't mind paint brushing the poor referee about twenty times, though,
I guess it was supposed to impress Cactus in me. That poor referee's
head was bobbing back and forth. All told, though, we busted our
asses on that match. After the referee slapping concluded, Masafucci came up to
me and said, Baba wanted to talk with me. I went over to
Baba because you know, Al Japan was on this big card as well,
so Baba was there backstage. It's nineteen ninety five, this is what twelve
years after the retirement ceremony in the Al Japan ring. I went over to
Baba funk rites and we smiled at each other. He looked at me first
second and said, very good, very good. That was about the highest
praise Baba ever gave someone. It was the last time Baba and I ever
spoke. King of the Death Match Terry Funk. In nineteen ninety five,
I went back to Kawasaki Stadium for another group, the IWA. The group
run by Kyoshia Sano, did a King of the Death Match tournament. The
official attendance was twenty eight seven fifty seven, but it sure seemed like more
than that when we were out there. By that time, Anita wasn't working
that many shows, and I was a free agent. IWA was willing to
pay what I wanted, so I went where Anita shows were filled with top
attraction from top to bottom. The IWA was a different story. There was
a whole lot of blood and a lot of crazy violent matches from start to
finish. There were some weird deals going on too. There was a doctor
in Tokyo who was doing circumcisions, what offering two free King of the Death
Match Show tickets to anyone who came in and got one done and their kid
or themselves. You know, I want ahead and got a circumcision. I
already had one, But what's the heart of having another? I said,
might as well cut it open again the wrestlers, if one will do two
has got to be better. I want ahead and got my dick skin cut
off for a ticket. Hey, Terry funk, do you want me to
get a circumcision? Yeah? Dounk you might have got some very fun,
awesome the places the lapsun brings us h dunk. Yeah, you might as
well get it. Uh, might as well get it cut all right.
I mean, I don't know if I had one. I got a check
with my doctor. You know, I don't know if I had one before.
I've looked, but I just I don't know. I can't tell.
I might as well, maybe I'll ask my doctor or I just you know,
I might as well just go through with it like the doctors. Like
the doctor's just gonna do it, you know what I mean, Like even
if he looks there and notices you've already had it done and you didn't say
anything, so he's gonna do it again. All that stuff is paid for
by the government, since Japan a socialized medicine, which meant the guy got
paid by the government for everyone he performed. I think he did pretty well.
What a business. He probably didn't know what to do with all that.
Foreskin Terry funk what he's talking about. You have a little extra force.
Can you can put it in the you can saw tey it fause that's
too much I saw tey it. Yeah, you can use that instead of
pickle ginger for the sushi. The deal with the King of the Death Match
was every match in the tournament was a different kind of bloody stipulation match.
I worked the semifinals with Tiger Jeet Singh, a big foux of Innoki in
the seventies. Our match was a barbarre b broken glass match. I knew
Tiger well enough to know that even though I was going over, I would
also be the one taking the bumps. That was funny about this death match
tournament. Only Cactus and Terry actually take the big No, that's not true.
There were some Japanese guys in there that took big bumps too, But
like Gordy doesn't do anything, Tiger Jeet Singh doesn't do anything. They just
take the payday and let the other guys hit the nartally shit. Tiger was
Tiger, and I knew and accepted that before the match even started. As
long as I accepted that beforehand, by God, we'd have a match.
After defeating Tiger, I moved into the finals against my good friend Cactus Jack.
By that time, the show had gone from afternoon to nightfall. It
was the Forever show. But the fans were still there and still elated.
They had known it was going to be a long one. Hell, some
of them brought their lunches and so quickly. When we talk about how this
was distributed and how it reached fans in the United States, I mentioned the
Insane Clown Posse video. Here's ICP on stage at the first Star cast talking
about the difference between how Nick Foley and Terry Funk reacted to their exploits in
the I w A deathmatch ring being exploited for US commercial audiences. So yeah,
wait, so Stranglemanne came out. It became legendary. Dope as ship
though Barbara is stuck in his arm, He's gotta rip it out of his
flesh, and it became iconic. And of course when we saw when we
got to WW and we met Mickfoley, he wanted the money, and so
uh, it's just the same things happened several times. He didn't just want
the money, he wanted it right then in his hand. You know who
else wanted the monnay Terry Flunk. But he didn't the money for the money.
He didn't ask for the money. We gave it to him out of
good faith at the Double Ross Double Cross Ranch and Amarillo, Texas. You
know what, I'm not gonna sit here and lie and say Terry Flunk wanted
the money. That's not true. The fact is Terry Flunk refused the money.
He's so fucking dope for that. He would not take the money,
isn't that dope? We were sitting at Terry Funk's house the fucking Double Cross
Ranch in Amarillo, Texas. You know who else has been there? Thought
right, motherfucker. You know it's weird saying that we were chilling at the
Double Cross Ranch in Amarillo, Texas, at Terry Flunk's house. Every time
that my face says those words, I actually feel flushed with guilt like I'm
lying. I feel like I'm lying. That's how dope that is to us.
But here here goes what happened though, So we took the five grand
cash money. We put it into a cookie jar in his kitchen, so
not him and his wife didn't see. And when we left, we're long
the fuck gone. The next day we call him, We're like, go
look into cookie jar by Jee's in their homie because he wouldn't take the fucking
money. But he but we stole his footage and we ended up selling a
lot of strang lemanias. So we felt like we owed him. But you
know, God blessed Terry Funk for that got paid off it. Absolutely nobody
else Jesus so folly looking for that money. You better fucking believe it.
And Terry oh taking him in, I guess, you know, go ahead,
and I huh, might as well go ahead and take a cash payment.
I think they told the story of how they left it. Was it
him that did this. I think they left it right. He just said
left it in the jar for him. Yeah, left it in the jar
forum on the on the countertop five grand or whatever it was, because he
didn't want the money. All right, Well, we're gonna turn to mcfoley
for a perspective on I mean, we spent a lot of time in the
ECW leg of the journey talking about how, you know, Terry Funk and
mcfoley's bond was formed and the forged in the crucible of e CW and the
flaming rounding irons and chairs and lawsuits and all the crazy shit they did in
ECW coming out of a box, all that stuff, Caine Dewey and really,
if you want to talk about the heart of you know, Terry Funk
and mcfoley becoming blood brothers, it really was the iw A King of the
Death Match tournament in nineteen ninety five where they were uniquely motivated to create the
kind of memories that were specific to the nineties in terms of what the wrestling
fan thirsted for and what sat in their memories and so fully of course.
In very flowery and Great Pros and his first book Have a Nice Day,
talked about this journey with Terry Funk through the Deathmatch tournament in ninety five and
how it came together and what floated through his mind is the many iterations and
perverse circumstances were presented to him and the Funker. So, Boss, I
wish you could pick up here on Victor Quinonez and share him in Folly's thoughts
with us. Victor Quinonez was a longtime promoter from Puerto Rico who was booking
talent for a small blood and guts group in Japan called IWA. I received
a call from him about coming to Japan and competing in their death matches that
featured barbed wire and a variety of other torture devices. I told him that
I'd pass at the time. At that time, I was having fun in
ECW and was being booked around the country, and I had no desire to
have my body torn to shreds. I really had no idea just how shredded
I would become. In late November, I received word that Terry Funk had
signed a contract to wrestle for the IWA in Japan, I picked up the
phone and called Victor Quanonas it was the only time in my eighteen months as
an independent that I asked for work. I was booked to leave on New
Year's Eve for a ten day tour. My body would never quite be the
same. Before my trip, my old partner Kevin Sullivan had spoken to me
and advised me to take shirts to sell. I figured it would be a
lot harder for the promotion to say no once I was there, so I
never called for permission. As it turned out, I made more money in
Japan as a seller of T shirts than I did in the King of the
Destoy. Had you better believe he's looking for his cut of ICP? Yes?
Idiocy damn right? And he would you know damn When he talks about
it in his podcast years later, he's like, you know, ICP threw
me some bucks for it, so that was great. As if he didn't
like, make them do it, whether's the threat of whatever? Yeah.
We finally checked into our hotel, where after dinner with a Japanese super fan
named Masa who still remembered me from my trip in nineteen ninety one, wait,
I tried to sleep and after oh I tried to sleep. As a
small promotion, Aiwa had to cut corners to survive it, flew all the
wrestlers on coach, busted us for hours every day, and lodged us in
some pretty crummy accommodations. At three hundred dollars a day. I was,
with the exception of the Funker, the most highly paid Guidjin wrestler by far
as a true Japanese icon terry had a deal that was pretty lucrative, but
some of the South American wrestlers were working for seventy five a day. The
next day, we headed for the venerable old Japanese venue, Karukin Hall.
Karukin was a twenty two hundred seat auditorium on the fifth floor of a Japanese
office building which was used by several different promotions. It was not unusual for
three different promoters to use the hall on the same day, and as I
walked in the dressing room, a few women wrestlers were still in the process
of packing up. I came out during intermission when the young boys who took
down the ring ropes and replaced them with spools of barbed wire which they ran
in lines and zigzags to resemble a set of four flesh eating Roman numeral tens.
My music was playing Unloaded my last shirt. I could hear iwa boss
mister Asano calling my name, But damn it, I had merchandised to sell.
It didn't matter that I was going to get literally torn up out.
Their shirts came first. I often imagined how ridiculous this would look if a
applied to a regular sporting event. Frank, we're waiting for Holyfield's entrance,
but he doesn't seem to be ready. Wait. I've just got word that
he's at the gimmick table pushing his T shirts. Don't worry. A few
more polaroids and the champ will be on his way. I came down to
the ring and received a tremendous ovation. They were chanting my name in unison,
which in reality sounded less like cactus cactus and more like Coctusa Coctusa.
It was flattering. Nonetheless, when Nakamaki and Terry made their way to the
ring, they chanted even louder for Terry, which sounded a lot more,
which sounded a lot more like Telly. Sure, thanks Mike. Yeah.
The hall was sold out and the fans were primed for mayhem, which I
began delivering Funk and I climbed up the first level of the stands and began
going punch for punch in front of the Austras. The funker picked up a
chair and slammed it over my head. Japanese folding chairs were strange and that
they were not as heavy as their American cousins, but were put together in
such a way that a good shot could pop the seat straight up in the
air. The funker returned to the ring and we fought to the dressing room,
where I had a special prop waiting. A young boy handed me a
lighter while I disposed of Funk. I grabbed the lighter and reached for the
chair that had a towel strapped to it that had been soaked in kerosene.
I put lightered chair, and presto, the fire chair was born. I
walked down the aisle accompanied by the Japanese chorus of ooah, and slid into
the ring. I wound up the chair and brought it down across knock Amaki's
back ooh. With the help of the fire chair, Cactus Jack was victorious
in his return to Japan. Unfortunately, my trusty fire chair would almost cost
Terry funk his life ten months later. It is when they had the incident
in the ECW arena, which, by the way, someone shared some crazy
images with me of I didn't realize even existed of him swinging the chair.
No video though, of course he had done it ten months earlier in IWA's
why in all the stuff that was like revolutionary happening in ECW had already been
done in Japan, oftentimes by the same wrestlers. That's crazy. Unfortunately,
our attendants reflected that lack of mass humanity as well. For the next week,
we were lucky to draw one hundred fans, even with the legendary funk
Er on the card. In truth, the fans never quite forgave Terry for
coming back after his emotional retirement tour in nineteen eighty. He was still an
icon, but was not as revered as he was in his heyday. IWA
had made the mistake of booking arenas in the southern part of the country under
the premise that it would be warmer there. Well, it was slightly warmer,
but the buildings weren't heated in the south, and as a result,
the gage ins would all huddle around a portable kerosene heater in an attempt to
stay warm. When our music played, we'd take off our winder coats and
hit the ring to entertain a very small group of fans who had made little
noise, who made little noise and were dressed in very warm clothes. Mister
Asano Muti had liked me right away. Asano was a multi millionaire whose value
ranged from fifty million to five hundred million, depending on the Japanese real estate
and stock markets. Even with his wealth, he threw around Nichols like they
were manhole covers. But he was. But he was a big cocktoose Jack
fan, and he made it clear that he wanted me back on all his
tours. Asano also wanted to play up my deathmatch image. He'd been impressed
by my barbed wire heroics, and he wanted my name to become synonymous with
skin tearing metal. So for the rest of the tour and for months afterward,
I wore a barbed wire necklace around my neck. I wrapped the stuff
around my leg to drop legs and around my arm to drop elbows. When
I talked to the press, I sometimes had it wrapped around my whole body.
And no, I'm not talking about the rubber tipped barbed wire that is
currently used in WCW. For a while in the iwa it truly did look
as though I was born to be wired. The final match of the four
of the tour took place in the city of Guma, where Terry and I
were scheduled for another no rope barbed wire deathmatch. We were booked into another
small venue which would again which again would be void of both heat and human
bodies. This match was being filmed for commercial videotape release in Japan, and
the fact that and that fact made a great deal of difference. It was
not as if I'd been wrestling hard on front of the frozen, minuscule crowds,
but video always up to the ante. Even if I knew I'd never
see a cent of the profits. There is something about commercial video that represents
immortality, because I know that when I'm done, commercial videotape will be the
greatest prison representation of what my career stood for. Pride was another huge factor.
I had come over here specifically to wrestle Terry Funk, and now that
I had my chance, I realized the crowd would be small, but the
Japanese media presence would be large, and several hundred thousand fans would read about
and see photos of the match. I also had the belief that I could
help make this promotion to success. Unlike WCW, the rug would not be
pulled out on me and the ball would never be taken away from me.
I knew that when I handed him the ball, when I went handed the
I would be given the chance to run as far as I could. I
saw this match as the night I took the handoff with fewer than two hundred
fans in attendance. I felt it in my heart and in my mind that
January ninth, nineteen ninety five was the most important match of my life.
And the wire went up. As the wire went up, I listened to
a song called Winter toy Amos Tori amos Amos, which is, in my
mind, the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I was all out of
T shirts, and in truth wouldn't have sold them this night because I was
completely focused. As the song played, I became more and more intense.
As the beautiful images in her song peaked, so did my ability to see
brutal images. In my mind, I was practically flying on adrenaline, a
claim I can't make for many future matches with audiences one hundred times as large
well conveyed Boss. So it's freezing and he's about to get very warm in
the ring of the w A because Funk's gonna light chairs on fire. Mcfoley's
gonna light chairs on fire, whatever it takes. And as mcfoley paces around
the Kerosene heater with the other guy Jins listening to Winter by Torri Amos,
he thinks about the chapter of his career that he's about to embark on the
death match definition of Nick Foley. As for Terry Funk's recollection, he writes,
Now you might ask why would you do these things to yourself? Well,
yes, I do ask that question. We were with an independent promotion
and that meant very little coverage and no TV. So Cactus discovered what I
had learned a long time ago. In Japan, they have a great many
newspapers and magazines covering wrestling, and if someone was entangled in barbed wire or
how to stick up their ass, that guy was much more likely to find
his picture in one of those periodicals than if he had a headlock on someone.
We endured the crazy spots, what about a what about a headlock on
hunger? Go a headlock A go a headlock on hunger exactly. We endured
the crazy spots to steal coverage and the weeklies and dailies for what we were
doing. One thing that God iss a fair amount of press was the fire
chair. Cactus and I were wrestling on his first tour of the IWA when
he lit a chair on fire and proceeded to wear my ass out with it.
Now, we discussed it, and he was only supposed to hit me
once. He ended up pitting me about six or seven times until I finally
just tackled his fat ass and told him, Okay, Cactus, now that's
enough of that shit. That's enough. But damned if the flaming chair didn't
make it a few magazine covers, and it should have. It looked like
Cactus was holding the goddamn Chicago fire over his head. The other thing about
it that struck me, if you'll pardon the pun, was that when I
walked by it on my way to the ring for the match, I noticed
the thing had been completely doused in kerosene. The rope is soaked in it.
Boss, I could I could see it glistening. I could see it.
Cactus, you wear an aftershave? No, Terry, I uh,
I could see it glistening, and I could smell it. I thought,
you know, I was the one who was supposed to soak that thing,
but I didn't soak it. That damn much is it? I am Asano
trying to kill us? But the more time passes, what the hell's going
on in this damn wa? That was good? But the more time passes,
Funk rights, the more I think my buddy Cactus might have been the
one to come behind me with an extra gallon of gas. I went behind.
I did it. I went ahead and went behind. I need to
go ahead and watch Terry and Cactus in the freezing cold January April. I
w Japan, the precursor to the Big One. I guess, so there's
another one? Oh yeah, because this is this is the first tour,
It's not the tournament. The tournament would be in the decidedly hot and humid
Tokyo August of nineteen eighty five. Let's go to disc twenty five. If
you wheel, it's time for the first death match style meeting, not the
first, but the first singles death match style meeting between Mick Foley and Terry
Funk. It's a cold day and out of reaches of Japan. What's the
time code twenty six and it's time for a fully and Funk to be forged
in the crucible of barbed wire, tax explosives and death. Great are you
ready? We're gonna start with a fully ammo Okay, three two one play
Terry Funk. Terry Funk. When we talk about the legends of the sport,
there's only two in my book. One man is sitting right here on
my shirt, and the other man will look me in the eye across the
ring, because Terry Funk, you are what the sport is all about.
And tonight, right here, in a barbed wire deathmatch, Cactus Jack will
show the world ain't two is what the sport is all about. Funk,
you were my friend. When I need a guidance, I called Terry Funk.
When I needed answers, I asked Terry Funk. But when I need
to take my place in the support of professional wrestling with the legends of the
business, I show up here and I don't ask Terry Funk anything I tell
him. I say, Terry Funk, no friends anymore, because tonight this
is my friend. Tonight fire is my friend. Tonight danger is the love
of my pathetic life, because Funk, sid, it is only when it's
at its most dangerous that I'm truly alive. And people say, cactus,
does that mean you're not afraid of anything? And I see no, it
means I'm afraid of everything. But Terry Funk, can't you see? That's
what puts the in my eye, that would put the flash in this smile,
because I've got nothing left the Lord. You can't take my teeth,
they're already gone. You can't take my ear because that's gone too, And
Terry Funk, you can't take my heart because it's too big for you to
carry. So the whole world will stay unnoticed. When I leave Terry Funk
draped in pieces of flesh across the barbed wire. The whole world will take
notice that there's a new king in town. Ohneita. It makes me laugh
because where is he? He's not in this gym. No, he took
that time and decided to retire, he thought in that million dollar mind,
of his don't ruin the legend of Onita, get out before it's too light.
So I got a one message for Anita's son. It says it's too
demo. It's so demo. It means wherever and whatever you want, if
you've got the guts. But I know you don't. Because the only man
seek enough, the only man mentally to rags enough to want to risk it
all with doctors Chuck, it's my hero. See it matched very big man.
I think that the match tonight with Cactus Jack is probably gonna be one
of the tougher matches that I've ever had my entire life. And the reason
for it is is because this guy actually likes he likes pain, and uh,
that's not a very easy person to deal with inside of the ring.
I know it's gonna be in violent. I know it's gonna be tough.
I know it's gonna be buddy, and uh, I just hope that I
can come out of the dog gone thing walking all in one, in one
piece, and uh say a prayer for me out there, and because I'm
gonna say one for myself, and uh, I'm not gonna say a prayer
from Cactus check the way. I certainly don't wish him luck, but I
hope that good luck is on my side too. I'm and it's words from
the Funker. And again it's freezing cold. There's like nobody there. Ugh,
I w a Japan and that's the that's the all Japan. Terry Funk
there right, soft spoken, just such a humble baby face about it,
even though he's about to go into this fucking knocked out, drag out empty
chairs. As far as the eye can see basketball hoops. Some passionate fans,
though, we're better believe it's Harey comes. Cactus emerges with a massive
two by four with Barbara around the tip. I've to ask, so Terry
Funk and Nick Foley bringing their unique brand of violence here to the fledgling Japanese
Deathmatch circuit January nineteen ninety five. And that's the vintage Cactus Jack T shirt.
This is where it started right here, because he didn't have that in
WCW. No, that's the T shirt he would sell right up until match
time as he tests out the barbed wire. And so when people would buy
that Cactus jackshirt in WWF and a lot of times they'd be buying it you
know, well it was for sale before that, yep, that they would
buy it in recognition of this era of cactus. These matches were synonymous with
that iconography on his on his shirt there, so ropes were placed with wire,
no explosives. But this weird blue mat on the floor that like totally
blends in with the color of the ring canvas, making the ring looks like
it's flat. It's kind of weird. Yeah, it looks like there's no
like there's no actual ring. Like it's kind of weird, like it comes
Terry Funk. But look at everybody wearing thick puffer coats, you know,
ah, some conspicuously wearing sunglasses in January indoors. Yep, I can't imagine
why that would be. In Japan, there's the Funk are still with the
sparse crowd, completely surrounded like it's a on all sides. What the fuck?
No, Oh that's already swinging that fucking comically it really is, Oh,
Funk's clearing way among spectators trying to keep a distance from the ring.
It shot him a bit, But Don Morocco is Tom Morocco. I don't
think so, No, no, just like a whole little arena here to
work with the whole. It looks like a function hall or something like a
convention center hall. Yeah, tossing chairs in the ring fully is just to
hell with the spectators at the ah. I think if Funk called for the
chair's ecw style here, I don't think the crowd would throw the chairs in
the ring. Yeah, no, I don't think so. So function the
ring gripping two of the chairs that Fully threw into the fray, barking at
each other at a distance, Funk launches a chair Cactus had his back turned.
He gets knocked off the apron. Funk raining a chair down now on
Cactus on the outside out gives chase. Here we go, Boss, time
to sacrifice. I mean it's like, oh, jeez ah, buss the
back fully, Oh, try to get back in the ring. Gets caught
the wire on the way in. Imagine Boss climbing under that bottom rope of
wire. No nope, Oh reversed whip and Funk holds up before taking the
wire like a rope, which makes you wonder why people don't do that all
the time. That's all all of a sudden an option, even if the
ropes aren't barbed wire. They have like a fight club feel like ECW field
to the show. Yeah, this is hard course here some people in suits,
a couple of headbuts. Funk backs up Cactus, who looks blodes like
manically thinking he's let did you get? I mean they might as well be
an empty arena match. Yeah, kind of has that feel to it.
Just think of Cactus, you know, like I think I'm how uncertain the
wrestling business was for someone like him, who was on national television WCW for
years and by ninety five, this is what he's doing. You know.
The money's good, I mean relatively speaking, I mean I think a four
grand on the tour of three grand. Here's the whip. Funk slides under
and spares himself with the wire. He does a clean baseball slide underneath.
Funk goes for a chair and launches it. That's one good thing about no
one being here. They can throw chairs like footballs down the fifty yard line.
And in between launches of chairs, Mick springs in action and cuts off
Terry Funk before he can pick up another and brings him down with right hands
ringside bell table. Funk. He eats that, Unk punches himself in the
head several times, trying to open himself up. Undoubtedly h one of those
chairs Mick talked about in the book raining across the back of Terry Funk.
I've been to a couple of shows like this, not in Japan, of
course, but where you just feel like you're just standing there watching the violence
happen around you, and it's like, mm hmm. No one even thinks
about sitting down or where their seat is. And Funk could taste of the
wire full he gets back in now, single egg pick up by Funk looking
for the toe hold. What do you think? Nope, Actors scrambling off
his back, adds the right hand to break free Punk with a single egg
and again brings down cactus. Funk punched himself in the head. See that,
Yeah, trying to open himself up looks like it's working. It's always
funny because when, like I think of wrestlers selling a blow to the head,
like they take the heel of their hand and hit their forehead with it,
It's like, why do they do that because they're trying to open themselves
up. It's not because that's the natural reaction to getting hit in the face.
Funked Oh no, his throat's on the wire, brought over to the
barb wire and look at it. See how they're playing to the cameras.
They want those flash bulbs. Yeah, yeah, that's the idea. They're
going for practice now biting the face of the funk or in the wire.
Oh no, Terry. Oh he's ripping the wire across his arm. Oh
there's the squeal they make fully squeal before he ever did it as mankind.
Look at funks flesh in the wire. Ah, everyone fucking clear out.
Oh yeah, they just they don't want to stick around to find out what
mix up to ninety five Boss fucking WrestleMania eleven. Think of this is like
Sean wins the first Rumble, his first rumble. Yeah, and this is
going on. Terry's found a way to tie his foot up in the barb
wire. Hang up side down? What the hell? Yeah exactly how does
he himself? Oh the flaming chair, it's on fire. Oh the kerosene
chair that was mentioned. Terry. Let's out of yelp and scrambles up the
aisleway. All these people just like walking around like crazy. Chance for Terry.
Now let's mick up to Oh he lit it on fire even harder.
That chair is flaming, fully bringing up the isle land No across the funks
Funker's side. Is he on fire? I can't see no, look at
the chairs. Oh no, he takes a hip toss on the flaming chair
on the floor. It's looking at it's forest men out of rubber or something.
Look at that thing that is fucking so they're throwing water, unfolly buckets
of water. Why these guy's right, the fucking minds. Look at this
fucking fire hazard. This is what they brought to the ring. The rings
on fire, The rings on fire. The flaming chair has been slid into
the ring. Cactus grabs it and oh, take it across Funk's back cover
by Mick gets to know the char on Funk's white T shirt. Cactus lines
up a DDT here no a sup lex locked, Ah don't know, fully
dropped gut first in the suplex position across the barbed wire hung out too dry.
Yeah, my god, by the water splashed in the ring to try
to stop that chair. Oh and it causes the Funker to slit. Not
good, so Anita shattered his kneecap. Uncle grabbing a handful of follies long
locks and putting the head butts on him now in the ring uncles busted open.
Oh no, fully, oh you tried to take the wire around his
throat like he used to take the ropes. Why would he do that?
He still want to kill himself, right, I mean he comes here to
fucking murder himself. He talks about how there was a moment there where he
had like a last minute hesitation about actually doing the the choke thing and just
like sailed over and paid the price there too. Funk pulling down on the
wire so it can reach Mick at ringside and wrapping it around his fucking face.
Thoughts, boss, I just I mean listen to the horror ah oh
mix hair being yanked because it was stuck in the barbed wire. He went
to lunge at Terry Funk and he was like stopped, his head jerked back
because it was all tied up in the wire. Hey, Funk found a
table, What do you know? Terry leans the table against the ring post
and hip hop ye holy face first leads a blood splatter on it, like
his busted wide. You can see it dripping down across his bicep. Ah,
that's not an arm. That might be its own arm cut because he
had that. He has that famous pink scar on his arm. Came from
one of these matches. I think, I shah shah, screaming Terry.
It's so weird. What is this? Oh? What do they there's a
stir? What they say? Oh Funk's got flaming branding iron. Oh my
god, head butts Mick and here comes the iron jabbed into his stomach just
a e c W. They did the same thing, got him, jab
the thing and it was back. Oh is it's rough flame? You know
hot? That thing is what? OHI swings the fucking two by four Adam,
the torch still lit for the funker, who's going to the head with
it? Now? I didn't seeing that thing pointed at your fucking head look
at knowing how unstable r rickety wrists just can't hold it still in. If
you wanted to fully lifting for Funk and dropping it with I think a back
breaker on the outside, all of a sudden, you might not want to
pull up that much on the wire. Mac. I mean, that's o
big elbow off the apron into the chest cavity of Terry Funk. I don't
know what they're saying. Tyson Bang bang from Cactus jack Old Crimson mask now
on Mick, which would be a signature to look for him in these death
match days. Wasn't their T shirt? They sold him with a totally bloodied
face. That's Austin, what's up? That was Steve Austin. I think
they they did a raw magazine cover once with his bloody face and the death
match that they must have licensed the photo or something. So Funks now on
the ground in the audience and Cactus is completely covering him in chair and then
he bumps and he fell down. These guys are nuts. It's just fucking
insane. I mean, it's like these guys aren't even wrestling. It's just
like everything's happening on the outside. Yeah. Uh, Funk comes up with
the chair necklace. That's his thing, man, he does that everywhere.
Look at them. Such went ahead and put his head through the chair.
Oh he swung a fan. Did you see that? Damn that gets like
ten years old. He goes hit this fact into the head. I don't
get a damn. Who's gonna if you're in front of my fast, you're
gonna get h funks having enough seizure. Now in the chairs, throwing them
around, it's fucking too much. Look at he's such a goofball. He's
like a kid having a tank trum fully just holding the bloodied face for the
cameras, see that, getting those flash bulbs. Everything they do is why
try to create an impression for the cameras a moment? Jesus, Now he's
choking. That's a picture, right, two bloodied heads. Oh that's always
what's so great about wrestling still photography is it doesn't look fake at a still
photo, you know what I mean. It's a great it's a beautiful thing.
Finally they're back in the ring and fully covers only two. I always
thought kickouts and death matches were so fucking goofy ah ha, So what Bozz
your deathmatch fan? Yet? No, I waited to seek out more.
You wanted to know about mister Pogo, I don't. I don't want to
know about mister Pogo. I don't want to know about mister you know Bogo,
Buy one, get one off, no funk with a pardon me cactus
with the patented double arm DDT lazy cover on Funk and he's able to lift
the shoulder. So much has been taken out of these men, you don't
have to forgive them for half assed covers and kickouts. Back up, vertical
soup play, floating with Cactus going back to fundamentals in the middle of this
thing, and Funk rolls the shoulder and we continue, coming back with headbots
on all fours. Now is the funker Jesus, Oh, he's gonna go
ahead and do something oh the left the rights rather peppering him with jabs.
Terry's shirt ripped at the chest, but he falls and face plants before he
can drop fully fully quick to cover. Look on the leg nice and tight.
It only gets two Terry floats over to the top of the come all
of a sudden, they're doing like work rate here. Don't try to impress
me now, guys, as the time has passed. Terry's got a ream
of wire and he's wrapping it around his fist. It looks like Mick nails
him with the right hands. Such a strange bonding experience between these two.
Do you think this is where we'd be when we were watching him wrestle Jack
Briscoe for the world title. I mean, I knew we'd get here.
It's just a shame that is the same guy. Actus picks up Funk's like
he's gonna hot shot him in Funk ddts him. Oh, Terry with a
flailing covering gets the three. It's kind of rolled over. I kind of
like the way they did that. Actually, yeah, it all played out
in the ring at the end there Terry funked the victor, locating a DDT
on Cactus and rolling on top of his carcass and dangerous effort. It's only
just begun for Terry Funk and Cactus Jack and me rings of I w A
Japan. This match also featured on the aforementioned ic Peach strangle Mania tape.
So many of them here with it. What is Terry covering Cactus again after
the bell might as well? What does he know? What was that about?
I don't remember seeing that before. Oh Terry is clamoring the referee,
kicking the reference ask for no reason, looking at him. He's he's covering
the referee cover he's grabbing some other photographer, a photographer. He's like no,
no, please, love a god, He's like, horrify this.
It's like a predator on the fucking process. I can't get out of the
ring either, because he's terrified of the barbed wire. Oh shit, he's
fucking out of his mind. Jesus. He just grabs people and tries to
make a moment. You know, it's like you're now a fucking unwilling accomplice.
As they take the barb wire down, snip it off the posts and
a bloody i mean blood soaked through his shirt, boss, just filthy.
His shirt was white, look at it, selling his ass off, crawling
around the canvas practice doing much the same, having having taken the fall.
Bloody face, what a let me look at him. He's just a fucking
mess. Such a battle, such a weird stage of the business and of
their respective Really, someone there where the rebar steakhouse? Yeah at the jacket
jacket? Was it part gun? Speaking of Japanese legends. Look at that
whatever that rubber covering is on the floor. Oh, it's such a mess
coming off. Terry Funk is just on one knee amidst the people in the
audience selling his ass off. Oh my god, what a fucking nightmare they
hear from these gentlemen. They're piping down the music a bit. Performance is
never over for Terry. He's still working right now, so weird crawling in
all fours, screaming coctus. Once cactuses helped, both men crawling to each
other on all fours, extending hands toward each other. Terry's crying, we'll
sho fans to a power. There we go. Nick punches him in the
face. Yes, hang hang hang hang, yes, do you son of
a bitch doing a crying cell seeking a moment of mutual respect and honor with
cactus Jack used to be Terry Funk's downfall as he's left in an a quivering
mass. Whatever fuck? Oh, how on ahead? When I had and
I uh, what's taking an embrace from some of his fellow Nobody knows what
he's saying. Go back to be propped up and held up by Jesus members
of the I w a locker room. It's Terry Funk, just as oh
my god, arm backstage nafto very Funk was crazy. Not to damn,
she was crazy. You say, I catch what. I was gonna shake
his hand out of respect. I'm gonna shake his hand out of respect.
I'm gonna just shake his hand out of respect. He came over and shook
my hand hell, I don't he shake his mind out of respect. He
just wanted to go ahead and get the last lick on me. Well,
I'm not true. He wants fire. I'll give him fire if he wants
fire. If you want him, well, fire, I'll give it to
him. That's what he wants. Does he want fire? He wants to
run around with fire all the time. Fire. I like hire his eyes.
He's a kook. A gym floor, backstage, a hardwood floor.
Jesus wants to play rock, Terry Funk, Oh my god, you want
to play rob for you want to walk up to the tree, can bite
out of the bat oft topple of them all. No, Terry Funk.
The taste well, thank god, the fuck only no to words in this
language, Terry Funk. And it did so demo any time. And I'm
not putting you down because I know you're the only man sticking up to walk
in there with me mentally deranged enough to leave your flesh on the park wire.
Bye bye. Or you can beat Cactus Jack, and you did,
but I want all of you to go back, find someone who speak English
and tell this to Terry Funk. You can beat me, but you can't
ever, ever, stop, dot, just dot, there's a shot for
you, Jesus, look it, look into his eyes. It's all smeared
on the hard floor, on thenolean floor backstage. This battle must continue bus
quickly if you could share with us mcfuley's inflictions. On the aftermath of this
vicious spout, I wanted to shower off the blood that seemingly ran from everywhere,
and in truth, I was cut in over fifty places. My hands
were especially a mess, and the chunks of flesh that peeked up at me
from my fingertips were grim and painful reminders of the price we pay for doing
what we love. A large gash on my forehead continued to pour as I
reached for the comfort of a hot shower. No such luck, however,
as in addition to the lack of heat in the building, there was you
guessed it, no hot water. I felt like I'd already been already endured
enough pain, and I just didn't feel up to exposing my naked, bloody
body to a stream of ice cold water. Instead, I took a quick,
hoarse bath, rinsing my hands and face as best I could, before
throwing on a set of clean clothes. I sanitized my forehead and liquids with
liquid new skin and wrapped it with gauze before looking to my hands. Most
of the cuts were not that bad, a few were even superficial, but
my pinkies were a mess. I surveyed the situation and made my fist my
first aid move. I put about five drops of the new skin into each
wound and then packed the meat back into its hole with my fingertips. Tracy
then wrapped athletic tape around it, and we walked out to the waiting bus.
We drove for an hour and then stopped at a rest area to eat.
Terry had driven the first leg of the trip with a group of fans
known as Funk's Army brother. The rest stop menu was real basic when it
comes to Western food, and most of the time I just opted for spaghetti.
After the meal, Terry rejoined us on the bus. We sat there
reminiscing fondly about our match and wondered about marketing the video in the US.
It was a definite blending of the thrill of victory with the agony of defeat,
as our talents of the past, tales of the past, and ambitions
for the future were tempered only by the stale iron stench of our own blood.
You for that, boss, Yeah, that's a He jacked up his
pinkies, taking that failed attempt to wrap his neck in the wire on the
on the whip, and uh yeah we shot that hit the ground, and
he said he was determined to give mister asana was three hundred dollars worth.
I took flight and caught my head and neck between the second and third strands
of wire as the rest of my body sailed over the top. The timing
was perfect, but the wire gave way, leaving me sitting on the arena
floor with sharp barbs still lodged deeply and both my pinkies. I gave a
firm tug from my seated position and became free, but in doing so exposed
huge chunks of flesh. I don't know, I don't know what. I
don't know what nirvana they're chasing. But I suppose here we are, all
these years later talking about it, much to your delight, no doubt,
Ugh, I mean Jesus Christ. Then the tournament, The King of the
Death Match August nineteen ninety five. I w a Japan. Nick Foley wrestles
Terry Gordy in the first round. The advances Gordy not agreeing to do any
death match. Bumps in fact fully tells the story rather humorously in this book
that he's not quite sure Terry Gordy even understood it was a death match tournament
until he got to Japan and it was asked about thumb tacks and knew nothing
about this, but fully takes a power bomb in of the tax. He
gets his head stomped in the tax, but he wins when he throws a
handful of tacks in Gordy's face and double arm ddteas him Wow. Terry Funk
wrestles Tiger Jeet Singh, the aforementioned Japanese legend, in the semifinal as well,
and in that match they put out a bed of broken glass at ringside.
And again this is in a stadium with an open ceiling. It's daytime
for these early matches with Cactus and Terry Gordy and Tiger Jetzing and Terry Funk,
and I guess you could say Summer Slam ninety two style. It becomes
nighttime as things drag on and Terry Funk takes a bump into the glass.
It makes a very nasty sound. It's not much of a bump. He
kind of just like sits down on it. But the cameras, for whatever
reason at the IBA show totally missed that that bump that Terry Funk took,
which is the big thing of the match, but eventually ends up winning the
thing and advancing. And so we turned to his book, The Final Match,
Funk writes build as a barbed wire explosion ladder match turned out to be
not at all. It was cracked up to be kind of like an electrified
cage match from Hollywood Havoc ninety eighty nine. The idea was we'd have all
this stuff in the ring, which would be surrounded by explosives, and at
the ten minute mark in the match, they would all go off, causing
an incredible explosion of the ring. Before the match, Cactus and I went
to talk to Asano. We didn't care about the explosive force, the dangerous
to our own bodies, or any of that. We just wanted to know,
is this going to work? Asano said, Oh, going to work
very well. I spend twenty thousand dollars on this. We said, okay,
oh my god, it's good. Then we figured if he was spending
that much on the damn thing, it would work. They also had some
explosive boards with barboya around them, and those weren't any pleasure Asano had huge
amounts of barboire rolled up onto the board and hitting those was just atrocious.
Terry Funk reports. Now, uh, you know, while Terry kind of
says that it wasn't that big of a deal and everybody felt pretty confident with,
you know, going ahead and doing this once you know, he heard
that twenty thousand dollars figure, I'm not sure, not so sure. McK
foley totally agreed with Terry Funk's quick assessment that it'll be fine. Yeah.
Here's McK fuley from the roast of Terry Funk, which is we've excerpted several
times here in the Lapsed Funk that was put together by the folks at kfab
Commentary's commenting on on this exact moment in their history together and what we were
in Japan were preparing for a little goodie that they called the Kawasaki Dream,
which has become better known as the King of the Death Match, and the
two finalists in this tournament would face off in a little match where they would
take down the ring ropes and put up these a jagged razor sharp barbed wires
instead. They also had barbed wire boards boards laced with barbed wire, and
to kick it off, at the ten minute mark, the ring was set
to explode. In addition, these barbed wire boards had ce four explosives hooked
up to them. Now, it was supposed to look like when we landed
on the explosives, we would cause them to detonate. We didn't know at
the time. There was a guy up at like the second level with a
button and he would push that thing, and we wanted to they wanted,
the promoter wanted to show us, do you remember the starting what those explosives
look like? And they detonated those explosives and it sounded like a cannon going
up. Smoke was everywhere. And even though I had this reputation as being
this hardcore, fearless guy and I thought that was running through my mind,
was you gotta be fucking kidding. And I didn't care that it was by
far the biggest crowd I ever worked in front of. I turned to Victor
Canonis and I said, no, there's no way we can't do that.
And then Terry said, no, no, it'll be fine, but what
we need we need just a few more explosives right there in the day,
Terry, where the hell are we going to land doing the mathematics there?
And it doesn't seem to be anywhere to land that we wouldn't be severely injured.
Famous last words, Now, practice will be fine. Neither one of
us was fine acause I thow God. I mean, I came home,
and unlike Terry, who had a business class seat, I was in twenty
sixty by the and I got a call front of the desk there on Air
Japan or Northwest Airlines, and they had bumped me up to business class because
they felt sorry for me. And I looked at the woman next to me,
and she was looking at me, and try to imagine what I would
look like if I was this fourteen years younger, with forty two stitches and
six different parts of my body. And for those of you guys who've been
to the doctor and had those stitches, you know you can't wash your hair
immediately, which is really great news when your hair is burned and bloody.
And not only that, the skin on my left arm began to fall off
of me as the flight was en route. The woman, looking nervously at
me, got up. I guessed to use the restroom and didn't come back
for quite a while. And when I look to the back, she was
sitting back there, somewhere around twenty sixty where I would have been. She
was just almost in a fetal position. And all I don't know her religion,
or even if she was religious, she appeared to be thanking God that
she was no longer with that guy in business class. I remember those words.
Now what we need is two more. So it's all uh, fun
and games in retrospect, But how do they get to that point where someone
could even stand to sit next to mcfoley in first class because he was such
an appalling visage? Yeah, the conclusion of the King of the Death Match
tournament here quickly is Terry Funk just on the whole notion of things in a
shoot interview. That was an insane That was an insane scenario, It really
was. Yeah, the whole idea of it was just obtured, you know,
and the you know, there is no gimmicks in those matches. I
mean they are just as I mean glass as glass and barbed wires, barbed
wire and up the wall twenty feet on some kind of deal like that.
That's that's the way it is, you know, you just and that's why
it was over there, you know, and and fires fire and everything else,
you know, And it was it was it's not as controlled at all
that it is over here, and it is extremely dangerous, you know.
And and went through that whole night and that whole series of matches, and
it was it was a rough day, tough, tough way to make a
living. Now a lot of a lot has come out after that said that
there were problems with the bombs during going off during the main match. That
absolutely, yeah, bomb and that's you know, I think they paid twenty
thousand dollars for the setup or something, you know, equivalent American money,
which is not that much, but I mean, you should get a decent
little blow up in twenty and uh they said ten nine eight seven, six
five four three, it's gonna blow up two one, And I stood up
and the win and it was very funny because all the fans, I mean,
they were really upset and I just turned around. It was a very
strange thing that night because I went ahead and did and I just kind of
looked at the fans. I said why, And I was serious and see
that I said why, and they came seemed to kind of understand that that
I was. I was disappointed as they were, and we you know,
and still went through it and had had a good match, you know,
but but they understood, like you know that they understood me whenever I said
why that I mean, it was nothing that I was in control of,
nor anyone else that was in control over that ring, and had been wrestling
their ass off all day long for eight hours, you know, and all
of us Cacus night took quite a strange feel there. It is, well
we head in ready disc twenty seven, Boss if he could all right?
As we read this final passage from mcfuley's book, Heading into the finals of
The King of the Death Match August twentieth, nineteen ninety five. When I
went into the ring, I was still scared, but filled with a feeling
of power that was not unlike my feeling of being on top of the scaffold
and fort Worth six years earlier. Some of the fans were chanting cock Tusa,
but most of them were physically and mentally worn out from hours of sunshine
and bloodshed. The Funker arrived in the ring to his decades old the music
and chance of Telly Telly. He looked old and worn out. Hell,
he was old and worn out. His shirt was spattered with blood from his
previous matches. Tumble into the plate glass. It went without saying that Terry
would be the guy taking the bump in the glass. It wasn't Tiger's style.
Once again, Terry had given and Tiger had taken this twenty seven twenty
seven seven fifty six three two one play. They are the brackets so Mortal
Kombat screen yeah right, finals wire everywhere, Jesus Christ as night, barbed
wire boards in all corners of the ring, explosions, They're ready to detonate
it inside. Why this is the match? The Terry Funk Cactus Jack battle
in Japan? You up, you gotta say e that this is where Terry
Funk, this remarkable, one of a kind career would end up in nineteen
ninety five. So bizarre have ever seen this one at all? No Foley's
arm extensively taped on the left, Funk's T shirt completely hued brown with blood
splatter on it a bandage almost like a sweatband around his forehead, the blood
poking through even that bandaging, and the bell sounds. It's the Finals August
twentieth, nineteen ninety five. Only on his way to w w F of
course, right Terry starts pumping the jab, landing over and over and only
able to do little bit. Offer his face up. Oh, they're trying
to bust him open. He just wanted Terry to bust him open to the
eyebrow hardway got that done. Coloring elbow cactus backing Funk up into the wire.
So again like the O need to match. Once they reach a certain
time limit, the bombs go off. Oh he's gonna whip funk in,
and Funk nicely puts the king the wire. That's funny, points to his
brain like it takes a genius to stop yourself from running into borrowing up hog
pen like some of the cattle down to the ranch. That collar elbow.
Funk throws the head butt. Ah, those big lefts. Neck breaker on
order. Nope, Oh he got it, he got it. Nice camera,
nothing but a shot of barbed wires. Funk lands of the neck breaker
and ever comes folly into the wire oh heat baseball slide underneath. It's obviously
a much bigger scale than the match we just watched between these two from January
of that year. What else you gonna do to draw forty thousand people to
a show if you're not New Japan or all Japan in nineteen ninety five,
you promise the possibility of death. That's absolutely correct. Fire wire boards in
play. I mean they never say this in their books, but did they
either of them feel like they, you know, maybe will die tonight.
I didn't say it in as many words, but pretty intimidated. Yeah,
you can hear Mick his uncertainty about the bombs and stuff. He didn't like
that. He hadn't done that before. Terry had done it against Oneita,
so probably felt a little more comfortable. I don't know, not death,
but definitely disfigurement. One thing I didn't know until researching is that those bombs
don't go off, you know, upon impact. They go off when somebody
presses a detonator. That's where in the building a fully lines up a DDT.
But he shoved asked first into the wire. That old satchel ass that
Terry Funk always teases MC Foley about watch where you step Terry. There's essentially
land mines in there, and is well he was talking about were were gonna
land you know, put for of these exploding barb wire boards in the ring.
It really limits our ability to take some flat back bumps. Here fully
piling up the right hands, and Terry is about to lose his balance teetering
on one of those boards. Now, Jesus, look at a flame.
There's a flame. Oh my god, Terry's shirt stuck to the fire.
He bumps the board. It explodes, screaming from some female patrons. Actually
I think she's getting fingers. But Terry rolled mercifully off the board, covered
by cactus jack and gets too. It's crazy. If you hit that,
you hit your back and you feel that explosion like that, I know.
And there is one mic takes later where he suffers a pretty bad burn to
his arm. Oh, Mick Foley getting injured And imagine, I don't believe
it, Ah wrecking his arm on the wire. Look at look at the
stick. Look at the stick. Oh my god, essitioned Funk across the
middle wire, took off with an elbow. Funk moved out of the way
and there goes Foley's arm. Flesh Funk now moving in on foley double arm
underhooks this old school funk at Japan. Uh score. I don't know what
he hit, but Butterfly suplex no explosions there back up now in a whit
Folly takes the wire Jesus all the way. It's a nasty looking barbed wire.
Jesus, look at it stuck to his fucking arm. Awful head butts
Now I Funk looking to return in the favor. Dropped fully on one of
those exploding boards moving it into position is Terry Funk. There we go,
hip tops full. He's about to burn his arm here on this one,
right, ah, Jesus. Actually that one he kind of cleared, he
remembers noticing that it didn't even he didn't feel that one that because he bumped
off the canvas as it went off, so it didn't really like see him.
There's one of these coming up where he gets his arm pretty bad.
Oh, big pile driver in the middle of the ring by Terry Funk and
they blew two of the sons of bitches up. Unbelievable. It's absolutely ridiculous.
And there was thing too I heard along the way where now Funk positions
one of the boards, pile drives mixed through it by leaning it up against
the the barber ropes. I'll look at that arm. That arm's wrecked on,
Mick. So yeah, seriously, what a fucking It's like a chunk
of flesh has been taken out. It might be, in fact, that
might be the burn. I don't know a bitch laughs and rights Funk going
to work with the box. Left hand drops fully. So there's like a
difference. They said. The FMW bomb effects were done by like special effects
people from the movies, whereas these were handled more from like people that dealt
in munitions and people who dealt in like pyrotechnics as opposed to doing it for
the screen. And so it was kind of like, oh, I can't
well, he smashed into a board that's leaned up in the corner of barbed
wire board Funk going for the cover gets too. Just think of how perverse
you have to be to sit there and think of these these exploding boards,
Like where does your mind go to come up with this? Right? And
I mean how and not only let's do it, let's do it with Terry
Funk. The floor they go. Terry Funk throwing a barbed wire board down
on the floor, plenty of space from the front row to ringside. I'll
tell you this guy's yet you're throwing a brick fully drops his nailbow and Terry
on the outside, covering Terry Funk in a barbed wire board and dropping another
bow. All right, look at what's become of Terry Funk. I mean,
look at the man. Look at he is a living disaster and in
destruction is his middle name. Yeah, the verse whip fully finds a guardrail
to sail over, even if it's three hundred feet from ringside. Get a
glimpse here at some of the front row spectators. Terry Funk going ahead and
loading. Terry movings fast, swinging hard left and right, just smack and
mick upside the head. So awesome, bunches, it's betting, told by
the Funker. When I had look at him, couldn't. When I had
two, I had three, I had four, I had tagger. Jeet
Sing hits the ring terrified of the barber, what the fuck, and uses
his sword to drop Terry Funk. Sing was, of course, the person
Funk eliminated earlier in the tournament. But it was what was he a fucking
like like mid a dad coming in like chasing away? Uh, what's that?
It's like he looks like a dad coming in to chase away his daughter's
older boyfriend. Barbier board in the corner. Dah oh Jesus Funk with face
first into the explosion and it's stuck in his hair. Me oh, those
up. The perverse teaming teamwork of Cactus Jack and Tiger Jeet singing swinging neckbreaker
by Cactus hook of the leg on Funk gets two and a half Wow,
lifts the shoulder. Remember that countdown still on for the exploding ring. By
the way, this fully hooks the double arm DDT planning. Terry hooks the
leg again here one, two, not enough started to hear some of the
shrieks from the female spectators. They realize his countdowns on here it is oh
if and the laughter, what the what the fuck? Listen to these people?
Yes they should laugh? And here goes Terry. What what happened?
What the hell? Where do we go? What do we do? And
where? Yeah? What happened? I want? I hadn't got my ass
blowed up? That was before the show, so Now they go in and
they got to call audibles, and that's where Mick takes the burn on his
arm right there. Immediately try to get the crowd back fully re enters the
ring, Funk snatches him in the back suplex and drops him on a bomb.
See, this is the problem. This is why you don't do these
kinds of matches, because it's a it's a complete you know, it's it's
never gonna look that good because you can't kill the guy. You know,
the only thing people really want out of an exploding match is to see the
ring blow up and the guys with it. Yep, you know, but
you can't have that because you know, legal purposes. Oh, Terry Cactus
grabbing a ladder. I kind of got the impression hearing Mick talk about this
is that everything after the explosion was kind of like added in. Oh look,
I'm not sure they've not use the latter if the explosion look better if
they spring in action realizing that the oh Jesus factus suplex is a ladder down
under the funker and hits just his knees, which I'm sure it can only
help the the historic new problems too. Terry still kicks out. Still going
here in the King of the Death Match tournament final, as Mick fully folds
out the ladder now to take flight, Cactus is so bloody that like his
face looks black from a dis Funk prone in the canvas, Cactus with his
back to Terry Funk climbing the ladder. You get him. Look at how
why? Oh, what a fucking mess. Totally covered. He takes off
and drops the elbow. The Funker from nearly the top of the ladder cover
one two. Funk lifts the shoulder again. Bang bang, motherfuckers. How's
that? I said? Bang bang, motherfuckers? Is going up again,
but this time to fuck a. Stirring to his feet, fully trapped up
there, Terry knocks over the ladder and fully takes the wire. Oh my
god, ah, just chaos. But still despite that, Flurry fully covers
one two. It's over. Oh my god, thank god. Terry lifts
the shoulder, but it's too late. What a fucking shit show. Wasn't
it worth it just for people to like groan and shit? No. Thirteen
minutes Cactus Jack the first time in his career, I believe pins Terry Funk
to win the iwa King of the death Match tournament, and from this date
forward, Cactus Jack known as the King of the death Match, the King
of Hardcore, all those flags. He flew into a multimillion dollar career with
the World Wrestling Federation. No small part accelerated when he brought the Cactus character
over in December ninety seven and Powdrow triple h put the table and on madithon
Square Garden, both men taking an assessment. Terry Funk laying on the canvas
in apparent agony after an exhausting slate of punishing matches throughout this entire day.
It's probably ninety five degrees and this environment there comes from a the RWA wrestlers
again trying to lift the Funker off the canvas. Just fucking chaos. It's
to be a Sano San handing Mick Foley, the King of the death Match
trophies to get the Born to Be Wired t shirt on, fully hoists the
trophy high. He would later put the trophy down and then never see it
again. Wow, know what happened to it. But right his knees extends
the hand. Terry, don't go, he says, Terry, barely able
to stand at ringside. Yep, stay the funk away. Funk says,
yeah, Amy, don't you go ahead and stayed the funk away from me?
What a visual? Yep, it's something, all right. There's Funk
with his arms crossed in front of him, limping up the aisle, fold
into the bike. Come on there, he has made a maid man now
in Japan, for better if for worse. Yeah. Look fully clutching the
King of the Death Match trophy, exits the arena, fucking carnage left in
his way. I think that's Victor Quindona is there to the left. Oh
really, that's a famous picture. He relics the trophy with his blood soaked
shirt. Yeah, on his way to the back. I hope you enjoyed
this tour of death match Japan. Boss ah, none at all. Some
postmatch thoughts peep my stomach because I was happy in the United States. I
was happy there. Terry Funk signed with i w A. Terry Funk signed
with i w A. The Japanese press has called me the American on need
It for the past five years, and that's great. But when Terry Funk
came to the it w A, I didn't see a chance to make money.
I saw a chance to find me sleep at night because the name Terry
Funk is in away in my cuts for the last three years. Because no
matter how good I won, no matter how dangerous I was, Tiger,
that's right. I knew in my heart I's never pating Terry Funk. But
in my heart I didn't know if I cut it was a quass and no
with my body patter ut less. Maybe I can find peace, Tigger,
because I've beaten Turry Phone. I'm getting Terry Phone. Give me many many
more time. You know there's not if you only one ye, give me
many many more times. The death patch I don't feeling came. I felt
like shaking Turry Punk's hand walked. He was hurt. Was all my Terry.
There is standing screaming, lifting his wounded arm outside the arena, adoring
throngs, screaming out to the Funker one more time, in some way similar
to his nineteen eighty three All Japan, Goodbye, no way, he's infinitely
more perverse empathetic. Oh for sure. This is loaded in the back of
a medical van. Lord shut and a weighed an ambulance business done goose.
The funker it was fucking cheery, like industrial video fucking music with these credits.
Jesus, there you have it. So what does he hope he accomplished
at the stage of his career? What does he hope this all amounts to?
Funk spoke to it in a shoot interview on the death match. What
were some of the injuries that you had out of that dead match? The
tournament altogether? Oh gosh, I was so burned up. But when from
that last match with Cactus, just burned up and just just really cut up
from the glass on the earn of the match with one guy. Yeah,
just it was a long, long day. Yeah, hopefully that does people
look at that someday and it's pretty nice. It fully realizes that what might
not have been everyone's cup of tea. He likes to think that the sacrifices
we just witnessed him and Terry Funk make set in motion a movement. It's
not everybody's cup of tea, but it is some people's cup of tea.
And I find that the people who are drawn to it watching it are a
lot like the horror fans, where you know, you would think on paper,
and I've seen actresses specifically the actress who played Jason Voorhees's mom went to
a first convention and she was a little bit I've already used trepidacious once,
so I'll just say, you know, a little bit hesitant. And then
she realized, you know, how kind of art of the people are.
And it's just been my history that the people who watch it are good people
who you know, like to see consenting adults to weird stuff. And I,
man, again, I don't condone it, but I understand it,
and I feel like the people who take that step and do it for more
than the money are worthy of our admiration, even if it's not your saying
speaking to how much more incredibly dangerous and gory and wild and vicious these death
matches would become in the wake of the kind of displays we just saw from
Nick Foley and Terry Funk. Funk says in his book, my family wasn't
riddled about my hardcore wrestling endeavors in Japan. My wife and both my daughters
were worried about me doing more dangerous things as I got older, but it
was my choice, as it has always been. They were not happy with
me doing those things, but a man's got to do what a man's got
to do, and what I have got to do is provide. The way
I provided was to be home as much as I could and perform as few
times as I could while making us a good living. The pain and sacrifice
of a couple of violent matches was not as bad to me as the pain
and sacrifice of being on a wrestling tour and away from home for weeks for
the same amount of money. Fully, one closing thought from his book,
took me a while to get up after this match we just witnessed, and
when I did, Terry still wasn't moving. He was still down on his
back and was obviously too hurt to continue. I crawled over and draped my
arm over him for a somewhat anticlimactic victory. The audience was confused, but
not disappointed. I had wrestled way too long and hard that day by victory
to be questioned, I was the King of the death match. Cameras flashed
continually for the next several minutes, since the press followed my every move.
I tried to shake Terry's hand in accordance with mister Rosano's wishes, but he
was hustled out by the young boys before I got the chance. I was
handed a huge trophy, which I held high overhead for all of Kawasaki to
see. By the way, Maggie, he wasn't hustled out. He said,
leave me the fuck alone. We heard that, put the trophy down
and haven't seen it since. While I celebrated, Terry was placed in an
ambulance and rushed to the hospital. It was a truly touching scene as the
adoring crowd reached out to just touch him and chanted his name. Terry had
done me a gigantic favor. Terry had only lost a couple of matches in
the last decade in Japan, and a victory over the Funker was a huge
milestone. Terry Funk, who had spent his entire career giving had just given
me a hell of a gift. I guess after all those years, maybe
he really did see shit in me after all, And upon his passing,
may fully reflect on this and everything else that Terry Funk meant to him and
in some ways to all of us. Here he reads from a heartfelt note
that he penned and published to Terry Funk upon learning that his death was eminent
as read on his podcast with Conrad Thompson. It's been a little over twenty
four hours since Terry Funk's daughters shared with me the news that their legendary father
had passed away. When his daughter Brandy's caller ID came up on my phone,
I had this immediate feeling that Terry had suffered a bad fall or something
of that nature. Up until a few months ago, I don't think I
ever conceived the world without Terry Funk in it. He began his professional wrestling
career in nineteen sixty five, the same year that I was born, and
he just seemed like someone who was always going to be here, someone who
was somehow tougher than death itself. Even though I'd been fearing the worst for
several weeks, the news still came as a shock. His daughters gave me
permission to mention this terrible loss to the world, and I guess my post
became the way that many of you found out about Terry's passing. In the
last couple hours, I kept coming back to a great George Jones song nineteen
eighty five's Who's going to Fill Their Shoes? Lamenting the loss either past or
future. Some country music's most iconic stars over and over. I heard it
in my head. Why, I wondered, was I stuck on a song
from almost forty years ago, one I have heard only a few times in
the past handful of years. Then it hit me, I was thinking about
Terry Funk. So when it comes to Terry, I will paraphrase George's song
just a tiny bit and ask the question, Lord, I wonder who's going
to fill his shoes? Little did I know that the very first time I
watched a Terry Funk match back in nineteen eighty six on a VHS tape against
Brewiser Brody in Tokyo, this wild man with the best wrestling punch ever would
go on to play such a large role in my life. In time,
he would become my idol, my mentor, and one of the very best
friends I've ever known. My friend Brian Hildebrand, later known in Smoky Mountain
and w CW as Mark Curtis, gave me the tape and the hope that
it might improve my punches in the ring. But it did more than that
for me, far more. That Funk Brody match was the epitome of the
brawling style I enjoyed the most, and though I knew I could never have
the presence of a Funk or Brody in time, through inspiration borrowing an outright
thievery, I became a pretty darn good Terry Funk ripoff. Jake Roberts once
told me that a wise man knows where to steal his material. For wrestlers
old and new, you can do a whole lot worse than borrowing a thing
or two from Terry Funk. He was the greatest wrestler I have ever seen,
and I've seen a lot of them, the foundation for my Mount Rushmore
of wrestling. It wasn't just the quality of his matches that earned him this
accolade, but also his ability to reinvent himself as the years went by,
to change styles, have good matches with just about anybody in any style,
and to raise the profiles of those he shared the ring with. There were
times he was in so much pain before matches that he could barely move,
but he would find a way to steal shows through fear source through sheer force
of will. In a business with its fair share of takers, Terry Funk
was a giver, setting an example of unselfishness and professionalism for everyone who crossed
his path was an example. I tried my best to pay forward. My
wife was almost too upset to talk when I gave her the news yesterday.
Later in the day, she sent me a video, tears running down her
cheeks, telling me how sorry she was because she knew how much Terry meant
to me. A few hours yars ago, she sent me a text message
reminiscing about the many hours I spent each day on our first apartment in nineteen
ninety with my screens, with my eyes glued on our thirteen inch TV screen,
taking in those old Funk and Brody matches from Japan, in addition to
just about every classic all Japan match and a fair amount of new Japan of
that era. I met Terry in November nineteen eighty nine, just a few
weeks after as I quit Match with Rick Flair, still my favorite match of
all time. I had been completely enamored of Terry's heel run in WCW in
nineteen eighty nine, and to this day, I've never seen an individual just
take over a TV show and seemingly make it in his own in such a
short time. I was amazed to see the psychological transformation he underwent from his
All Japan days, where he was a blood and guts brawling babyface, winning
over a stoic culture like that of nineteen eighties Japan by wearing his heart on
his sleeve, ignoring all the societal conventions of the day, both in Japan
and in pro wrestling, by weeping openly, by digging deeper into his own
well of emotions than any wrestler I'd ever seen. Thousands of fans quote one
of his most iconic All Japan promos, a promo that consisted of one single
word, repeated several times, each time with increasing intensity. Barry Blaustein,
who became close with Terry during the filming of nineteen ninety nine's Beyond the Mat,
told me Eddie Murphy, one of the biggest stars in the world,
would walk around movie sets just randomly quoting the promo, yelling that one word
forever, over and over. But the Terry Funk I saw a takeover WCW
in nineteen eighty nine was not the Terry Funk from All Japan just a few
years earlier. He didn't wear his heart on his sleeve in WCW. He
was heartless, remorseless, so believable in an on screen hatred for Rick Flair
that I, along with many of his colleagues, wondered what was and wasn't
real. My deep dives into his Memphis feud with Jerry Lawler and his Florida
feuds with Dusty Rhodes only deepened my belief that he was both the best babyface
and best heel I'd ever seen. To see him throwing those big left hands
at Lawlor, squealing out the word pig with every punch he through, then
turning wild eyed toward the Memphis crowd, sent a set a bar for heelwork
so high that I've never seen anyone quite reach it. I tried and failed
many times, even with my funk inspired borrowed an outright stolen bag of tricks.
I encourage all of you to delve into the funk auvoa over the next
few years weeks. It's much easier now than it was in nineteen ninety when
I would wait weeks to receive a fifth generation VHS tape and hope to catch
as much action as I could amidst the squiggling, waving lines. Just go
on YouTube. Type in Terry funk and prepare yourself to go down a magical
rabbit hole. Watch the matches, experience the feuds, listen to the promos.
It's an experience you will recall for quite a while, maybe forever.
I wish I'd done a better job keeping in touch with Terry these past couple
years. I visited anytime my travels took me within a few hundred miles of
Amarillo in later Phoenix. He called me last summer when I was in my
final hour at the C two E two convention in Chicago, just a few
hours before my flight to Australia. Terry, I'll call you as soon as
I get to the airport, I said. An hour later, I walked
through airport security and realized I'd left my phone behind in the car service.
When I finally got my phone back a month later, Terry's speech pattern was
noticeably slower, more forgetful. My calls became fewer and farther between. I
realized that in looking at Terry, I was quite possibly looking at my future
self. The last time I saw him, in January twenty twenty three,
he was no longer using a walker, but was instead confined to a wheelchair.
His daughter Stacey told me he had good days and bad days. I'm
so glad I caught him on a good web day, when smiles and laughs
were plentiful, and he was surrounded by family and a few close friends.
The photo posted here is from that day and the final photo we'd ever take
together. At the end of June, I saw photos from Terry's birthday party.
I pulled over and wept in my car. The toughest man I'd ever
met was now so frail and weak. About that time, Terry lost the
ability to use his phone, so I told his daughter Stacy to start checking
the mail because I was going to write her dad a letter. A few
days later, I sat down by a river with my writing tablet and thanked
Terry for everything he'd done for me, how profound his impact on my life
had been. I told him that I loved him. Yesterday, when Terry's
daughter Brandy broke the news was passing, she told me her dad had received
my letter that it made him cry. I'll be internally grateful for that time
I spent by the river writing that letter, knowing that I brought this amazing
man some joy in his final days. So Who's going to fill his shoes.
My guess is that no one ever will. Terry Funk was one of
a kind, you know, good for nothing agge s sucking dumb man.
We did it our way because we love it that way. We love it
that and I have this wonderful gut feeling and I've had it all my life.
When time to go, I think it's now, there's time to go. Sh