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It's season five. Welcome back to Bottled Up Bitches, your favorite sex
podcast hosted by already married couple with me Rihanna Campbell and me producer man Adam.
Sex shouldn't be taboo or embarrassing, so let's talk about it. Stay
horny, bitches. But did you listen to the last episode to make sure
we're picking up where we should? Yeah, we left at cork We finished
corkup. Are you sure? Yes? How do you remember? Because I
remember these things? Can we make an official announcement today that the stance of
Bottled Up Bitches is that Grandpa Joe from Willie wankin the Chocolate Factory was a
schmuck. Oh no, that's a whole that's a whole can of worms you
don't want to open. No, I'm just saying, I'm just saying I
don't want to lose like uh, you know, this is very controversial topic
and one day you might want to run for office or something. This is
going to resurface and ruin your career. I think there's a lot of Grandpa,
Joe, Grandpa. It's a very it's notably a very controversial topic and
it gets discussed every four years at every debate. It gets discussed in schools.
You try to take it out of schools and guess what, it's still
there. So you tell me what was the question. Hello, welcome to
Bottle That Bitches, your favorite tex podcast with you, Me, Rihanna and
me producer Adam Hi, Adam again, It's good to see you. How
have you been. It's been a time. It's been a time. So
for any how do you like that? I like that? Thank you for
any of our listen listeners who are listening this on the day of release.
As you are listening to this, we are moving to a new city.
We've talked about this already. Yeah, But what I'm saying is like,
the Monday this comes out is the day we are literally Okay, So if
you're listening to it the day it comes out of, you listen to it
on Monday's, which I know a lot of y'all do. And I am
currently driving a U haul and being really upset about it. I'm not upset
about it, no, but you're always upset on moving day, and sometimes
you're tough to deal with. I hate moving. Moving is like my least
favorite thing in the world. I know it. I don't like it.
I don't know anyone that likes the physical move No one do. I bet
there's some people out there that like it. Yeah, the people with money
that can hire other people to do that. Like I'd pay top dollar to
have an organizer. Oh my god, if we were rich the way,
I would not pack a single box. No. Let yeah you interrupted continue.
Yeah, all the money in the world, we have eight Like I
said, uh an, an organizer paired up with the movers, and they're
gonna come in whatever house we're currently living in, look at the new house,
and they will pack move an unpack I want to. I'm gonna walk
into the house and they're gonna go, okay, let me show you where
all your stuff is. Yeah, oh yeah, you know what I mean.
Like two days or however long it takes them, we're going to be
at the ritz the rits. Yeah, if we have enough money to hire
life. If we have enough money to hire like like cradle to grave movers
and organizers, that's how we're going to advertise this moving company that were c
then we have enough money to spend a few days at the RITZ. I
agree. Yeah, yeah, it's a successful company. Maybe we founded it.
Everyone shut up, don't take it. We said it first, Okay,
Hi, Adam, we gotta we gotta finish telling people. I'm getting
emails. I'm getting I'm getting voicemails. Someone wrote a letter and had it
FedEx overnighted. Everyone's dying to know the next part of and we know from
experience that's fifty dollars. Yeah, oh my god, right, what is
happening? What is happening in the earth. Yeah, we had a FedEx
a money order to our new apartment complex. I got fifty dollars to ship
that motherfucker. Yeah. Well, because you did it through fed X,
you should have done through USPS way cheaper. Yeah, I should. Well,
the reason is because FedEx is a little more secure. I don't know,
I don't trust our government. Oof. So yeah, so we are
going to wrap up our Ireland trip, I said, like being the cathedral
bells, Yeah, that's good. Church bells are ringing. The ring.
As a Catholic, the church bells a ringing and a dand you just so
God, when I asked you to spit on me, that's not that's not
what you're supposed to. I didn't spit. I had water on my I
had water on my mustache and a bunch of air shot it out. That's
what happened. But you can't get mad at me. You're the one throwing
out catholic. Catholic e Liza Minelli, it was, yeah, I spit
on you. So where we last left off. We uh, we had
just finished up Cork and now we're headed two. Girl was good job.
Yeah, it's a little further south, I believe. Yes, it's almost
like directly south. And we took it via bus. We did take it
via bus, about an hour bus ride. Yeah, it was. It
was a pretty peaceful rye like a good bus moment. They have good public
transportation. Yeah, he's pretty comfortable and everyone's like super friends business. Yeah,
until you until we got to Kittel and the bus driver was the bus
driver practically got off the bus and was going to take us on a full
walking tour of the of the town. He was so sweet. Yeah.
So we get there, it's gorgeous. It's this little cute town. Well
yeah, so it's like a fishing village, like a fishing town. At
least it definitely was back in the day. There's still there was still like
it's still definitely a fishing town. Like there were like legit, authentic fishermen
with their full like it used to be back in the day. It used
to be a main port. Yes, now it's not. Now it's more
of like a recreational but there are still fishing boats and there's still like a
whole fishing recreationally. No, no, no no. They were like full
on, like big ass fishing boats. Like those big ass fishing boats might
be operated by a retired no, no, no, because we saw we
saw young fishermen, like we saw straight up like deadliest catch cast members there
it's kid sales. Whether they're like oh ah, but like it's the weather
we had like barely drizzling. Yeah. But but you're not wrong in the
sense that even though there still is a fishing market, it has primarily kind
of become a vacation place. It's very Martha's Vineyard y yeah, of Ireland.
And it was absolutely adorable. We stayed in an amazing Airbnb. The
greatest was such a sweetheart. We talk about Rosemary Sure is that her name?
Yeah? Oh, she was so nice. She was so please stop
playing with the microphone while we're speaking. Yeah, she was so sweet.
She let us, she let us kind of check in, She let us
drop our bags off, which is very nice because we had like it was
like a four o'clock we couldn't check until four, but we got there like
a new Yeah. So I mesteraged her and I was like, hey,
we don't we don't have cause she from here. It's said in the thing
like just you know, park you can park your car here to like leave
your bags in the car and can go. And I was like, well,
we don't have a car. Would it be possible. I was like,
you take all the time you need. Is we just want to see
if we can drop our bags off. And she was like absolutely. She
was like come drop your bags off and she was there still cleaning, and
she was so sweet. She was Australian. She was Australian and uh yeah,
very The place was so cute and we had these little radiators the whole
trip. Oh yeah, we didn't talk about that because that's how they that's
like all of Ireland is heated by radiator. We don't know how to do
that, and we don't know how to do that. We figured it out
so stressful. And they don't like to put doors on their tubs. Water
goes everywhere. Shower, Yeah, I forgot about that. On the shower.
There's no there's no doors in the shower. There's you're no way to
catch steam eating water everywhere. That was. That was. That was aure
on this trip. They weren't great. So, yeah, we drop off
our stuff. She's super into free to Carlo. Yeah, that was such
a funny thing. There was so much free to carlow artwork, not like
her artwork, but just like pillows with Freda Carlo. Yeah, pillow that
had freedom on it and then it's a daft punk on the front. Yeah.
Yeah, it was freea in a daft puncture. It was so funny
and it was very colorful green walls. It was such a cute little place.
Yeah. And got she gave us. She gave us like mules,
she gave us like full breakfast. So many and if you're wondering, audience,
did we take advantage? Yeah? And we also whatever we did and
eat got back, we took it. No, we left a lot of
her condiments. But yeah, we took. We took. We took like
granola bars for the travel, and the their version of oreos, their version
of oreos. We ate because they were really good. God, they used
real chocolate. They use real chocolate. And she was very kind because we
rented. She has two she has like her main house and then there's two
kind of side houses like guest homes attached to it, and one's very small
ones a little bit bigger with the small one. We booked the small one
and she she was like, well, no one's using the big one.
She messaged me like that morning or the day before and it was like,
hey, no one's messaging the big one. I'll y'all take that one,
which was very nice of her. Yeah. Yeah, and we were there,
and it sucks because we were only there for two days. I know
I could have been there for a lot longer. It was so fun and
not to spoiler alert, but I feel like I could have, like we
could have spent a day in Dublin and nine to be fine and like the
rest in Quinzo. Yeah, it was so lovely. So we dropped off
the bags. I think in Kinsale two we also saw our first we started
seeing cats every once in a while. Yeah, there wasn't a lot of
like wild wild felines, street alley cats. Yeah, and anytime we travel
we were always just anywhere else side at night, it was just yeah,
out looking for cats, you know. Oh yeah, y'all have been out
there, y'all Pokemon go, We're gonna pokemon, cat gonna. We're just
walking around like it for those We're gonna cat go to the poles, cat
go to the poles. And there was like so much art, Like there
was a house like we're walking, you know, we're walking to town or
the place was like a ten minute walk outside the little town, which was
nice, it wasn't nice. And we had our bags and we went up
a flight of stairs that we learned we never needed to go up. Yeah,
and we took Adam took me up a mountain uphill in the snow,
backpack and a stick, and I have my thirty pounds backpack and my roller.
I'm a huff and puff and I'm gonna pass out. And then that
was the only time that ever happened. We figured out right after that there's
a soft route. Yeah, Yeah, I was just follow the man is
so funny. Yeah, but there was there was some I tell the banks.
Yeah, it looked like a banks. It looks on the side of
a house. You have so many copycats. It's hard to tell now,
but it was in the style style. It was on the side of the
house. Yeah, it was so cool. So, you know, dropped
out our bags, what like twelve thirty whatever. I say that because this
is part of our full day, you know, so this is we only
get two sleeps. This is the first sleep. Yeah, and we found
you the cutest hat. We got you this like nit hat that's like so
like one. And this lady was too nice. She was so nice,
too nice, because remember later on this the day after that day, the
following day, as I say, there was a lot of students, and
I was like, you know, she's being so nice. Oh, she
shouldn't be that nice because students are going on going over there. I'm sure
they're shitty and like steal. Sure. Yeah, because she u our card
wasn't working well, her her system wasn't working okay, her system was struggling
to read our card. And we were like determined to figure this out.
And at one point I was like, well we can just go there's a
bank over here. We can go to the just go to an ATM and
get cash. We can get cash for you. And she's like okay,
and she was gonna let us like take the hat with Yeah, we haven't
even big. We were both like no, no, have a boundary.
You have a business, ma'am. Yeah, and then even then like we
couldn't. We couldn't, we couldn't get cash. But we came back in
my co We came back and luckily, yeah, we got to figure it
out. But she was so sweet. Yeah, and she was. We
walked in and she was just like on the phone gabbing, like shooting the
ship with a friend of hers, like it was very literally, but she
was so attended. Like we walk in, she's like hi, and then
she like takes she's like hold on a second, and she like puts the
phone out and she's like welcome, look around, let me know if you
need anything, and like, okay, pick the phone up. She's like
okay, now what Yeah, She's like, yeah, it's been a fucking
crazy year. Yeah, Sharon's I heard Sharon's son is a drug addict.
Now like very old woman gossiping, but no, that was really cool.
So yeah, we just kind of spent that day. We just kind of
walked around, kind of got the sights, yeah, seeing what was all
going on in the town and the lot of the town's buildings. They were
like pink and it was very bright blue. Yeah, oh soo mary and
bright. It was super gorgeous. And so we went to the Cozy Cafe
to get some foods. We did, yes, oh my gosh, it
was like a casual bagel place. No, these were like gourmet farmed table.
Yeah. I paid like you paid what like three and a half euro
for mine, And it's like a grilled chicken, spinach, cheese bael,
Like the most delightful sandwich I've ever had, and it was so inexpensive.
I like a fried chicken burger. It's funny because they don't call them a
fried chicken sandwich. I know, it's everywhere we went they never called it
a fried chicken sandwich. Was always a fried chicken burger. And yeah,
and I had the sandwich was just really good. You had a really good
hot chocolate chocolis, oh god. And yeah, I just kind of walked
around. They had a lot of like little statues. I'm sure this is
common in fishermen villages. But there's so many like statues memorializing like fishermen that
have I have died because it's it's a very dangerous job. And Kinsale is
a very historic in Irish history. Yes, so we learned that there was
a massive battle there whenever Ireland. Ireland was trying to get its independence.
Yeah, and the sixteen hundred is trying to get its independence from you know,
they went through their own civil war. No no, no, this
was their own war for independence from Britain. Oh okay, they did it
first, and so there's a big there's a huge battle there that the Spanish
came in to help Ireland out because boil boy, I tell you what,
every time someone's trying to win their independence from from Britain, Spain is like,
we're here to be a pain in the ass to Britain and all their
wars. Yeah to England. Hell, have no fury like a Spaniard.
Right. So yeah, so there's a lot of that. And then I
was about to say something, but I forgot, So yeah, there's oh
oh this was the other thing. And we also learned it was like the
first it was one of the very ports that received goods from America from the
North America. Oh, no, I might know that. Yeah, so,
yeah, there's a lot of cool stuff. There's somewhere apparently a nine
to eleven memorial. We didn't find it, but I saw it like on
a little I had a little pamvhlet that was like, what all does Kinzell
has to offer? And it said on there there's a nine to eleven memorial
there, which I thought was very funny. Uh. Yeah, there's just
a woman who is from Kinsell. And then she moved to New York for
like thirty years, she lived there forever. It's actually a very sad like
very like it was very heartwarming, and she became she met a man that
became like she was best friends with for like almost the entire time, and
he was a fire chief for New York and he died during nine to eleven
as a first responder. So she moved back. She eventually moved back to
Kinsale and asked the town if she could put a memorial to the first responders
of nine to eleven and they said yeah, they said that's fine. That's
a hard thing to say say no to. And someone says, hey,
can I put a memorial to like honor the heroes of nine to eleven.
It's hard to be like, no, yeah, no, especially because they
have like ament, they have a statue around every corner honoring someone who died,
and you know, people died for stupid reasons back then. They're like
rest in pees. This fisherman and you know that he like rolled off his
own boat because he was drunk or some shit, you know what I mean,
like or even just like this man got a splinter and the infection killed
him five days later. Yeah, exactly, like Jill, Yeah, we
learned at a wine museum that was not a wine museum, and we just
couldn't find it to be fair. I don't know. I don't think we
saw. I don't think it's right. Well, the wine museum was inside
of a church. They made the church. We find Hozier one fucking want
I want to look at that man. But the wine museum was inside of
a church, and we saw it later. The church was built in like
eleven oh nine, Yeah, which I didn't even know they made buildings back
then. I know they did. That's a joke, but that's so fucking
old. Yeah, I mean, that's all iron from a bunch of Americans
who are oldest. Stuff is like everything is old. I mean the McDonald's
we eat in later is old and they just they just take all their history
and gentrify it. We had to McDonald's meal and what could have been like
a historic bank or something. Sure, but that's as they do. So
yeah, our first day, I will say for Kinzel people definitely like,
well not Kinzel people, but people wanting to visit Kidzell definitely look up when
their season is because they because it's like a vacation town, so they have
an off season. So a lot of a lot of stuff was closed for
Yeah, a lot of it was like well reopening in March in March and
anding the Titanic Museum in Belfast. Remember that did open back up in March.
Yeah, so that's probably a lot of just Ireland in general. If
you're going going during the cold months, I'm sure a lot of people go
on holiday or what have you. Yeah, so that was kind of our
first day. Yeah, we decided to do charcouterie again for dinner, kind
of did we Yeah, we went to a little grocery store, but we
just kind of got like we just got like little snacks. I think we
had like a really late lunch and so we kind of but I think we
got it. They gave us the most amazing chocolate chip cookies. Oh I
forgot they had those chocolate chip cookies yet wishes bitch, bitch. And then
yeah, so we got got some snacks because we wanted to relax. I
think that was it. We're like, we had been out for like three
or four hours. It was it was four o'clock. You know, We've
never three hours and we're like, we just want to go. I want
to go, and I want to get some rest tonight. I just want
to hang out with you. And that's when the vacation started, if you
ask me, because then we started a brand new tradition of on a nightly
basis, getting high and watching Supermarket Sweep. Because when you know, when
you hear that bell, you know, how does this say when you're at
the grocery story. Here the fun you could have on Supermarket Sweep. And
we're talking a trip into the audience. And we're not talking about Leslie Jones
new On. We're talking about nineties supermarket Sweep. There's a Pluto channel that
plays at twenty four seven baby, but we didn't get Pluto. We were
so desperate to a Supermarket Sweep that we started watching it on You found an
entire channel on YouTube, a playlist of all the episodes on YouTube that we
were just going through. Oh my god, it was so fun. We
were eating snacks, we were high, we were laughing, we were participating.
We're getting really good at supermarket sweep. By the way, guys,
Oh yeah, for a lot of brands that don't exist anymore, we're like,
oh, get the get the tone out, like just all the random
things a little total still around, but that one's still confused me sometimes any
user. And then we're also learning like when brands getting because in the beginning
they never said down and now they do say dawn, like don dish soap.
So I think that's fun, is fun, And I was so horny,
so I requested a rubbed down and you wrote me down for a little
while. It was so nice, just just clatoralness, and I'm on my
back, you know, frog and legged watching Supermarket Sweep. And Frida Carla
is Frida. I called her Friedo Carla Frida Carlo is just watching us.
She is, and uh, oh, so nice I know you. You
gave me such a nice little rubdown. At one point you wanted to put
your fingers inside of me, in which I reclaimed ow your nails too long.
I was like, but me always saying yead. I brought my nail
clippers, and I was like, go cut those babies off and then come
get in this. And then you came back and I fell asleep. Oh
yeah, that is what happened that time. Yeah. I walked back in
and you were knocked out. You were past, You're dead to the world.
I was, yeah, this is big facts. So I wrapped up,
turned off supermarket sweep. We went to sleep. Oh that's such a
good sleep. Good. Yeah, I remember we both slept pretty well and
pretty hard. But still we're like waking up like at four of the morning,
like wide awake. Yeah. Because the other thing about Ireland that I
think messed with our sleep is it gets dark like around five and then the
sun doesn't come up I'm gonna say until eleven pm. They have like they
have a solid six hours of sunlight in Ireland. No, but it did.
It doesn't come up until like, it didn't come up until like eight
am, yeah, eight, and it went down so early. Yeah,
so that was really wild. But yeah, and so then the next day,
the next day was quite a day. Oh we went hiking. We
took like a three mile hike and follow us on Instagram. You've already seen
that day. Yeah, the follow us on Instagram and check that out.
And yeah, because there was a fort, like a military there's two forts,
we chose to go to charles Ford old Military for it. It was
used in like this battle that happened in sixteen oh one. Big deal.
I didn't mean that sounded like I was sarcastically saying like big fucking deal.
I meant like it was a big deal. Yeah it was sixteen oh one,
and yeah it was like a three mile hike. But it wasn't too
terrible, No, not at all, even though we went down but it
went downhill randomly for nothing. Oh yeah, there was like yeah, there
was like there was a little spot. Yeah. So if you're ever in
kings that said like part of the nature, Like yeah, well it was
like if you're ever in Kinzel and you're going on this hike to Charles Fort,
there's a point where there will be a sign and it says like a
viewpoint here and it'll have like a walking sign and it's like go go down
this route. And it was like fully downhill this long away where we just
like walked from and you can't see anything because the forest. And then once
the forest cleared, you can't see anything because the forest because the forest.
And then once the forest clears is a massive fin so you also can't see
anything. And then you just end up at someone's house. You invent a
door with those private residents, we'll shoot we have dogs. So we were
like, okay, okay, I don't know what this view is, so
we gonna turn around and need to go up. It was a steep up,
but it suck. It was bullshite. You were not happy. It
was so pissed up about that one. And I kept stopping for the view.
The view is so pretty, So we're still going on, you know,
the whole time. The fort is at the top of the hill.
You know, Emperor's New Groove style, that is where the ford is.
I thought that was funny, And uh so we are. We're passing a
lot of fun houses. We're looking at them, we're judging them, almost
gonna hit by cars. Yeah, because there's no sidewalks, so we're walking
on the street and it's like it's like a windy road. It's like really
skinny and like you're we're in the road, there's no sidewalk. Yeah.
So yeah, we get to the top and I'm like, you want to
get something to eat? And we go in this cute little place and we
get the menu and I'm like, this is a Michelin Star restaurant. Yeah.
So well we get to this little town. This little area wasn't just
how it was just like four businesses. Yeah, there was just this little
thing. And then it was also really cool because it was very like it
was right next to the water. So as we're walking up, like waves,
yeah, waves are like crashing into and like you know, doing the
thing where the water is like pouring over and so we're like trying to run
through it because it's the waves are slash slash z. Yeah. And then
yeah, we found this pub and turns out it was like Michelin STARU pub
rubb and got lunch there. We did. It was so very good and
also it was like sixteen dollars a plate, like it was not expensive at
all. Yeah, you got like a seared ahi tuna with wasabi mashed potatoes
and like a terry yaki saw. It was so good, and I got
like pork short ribs that I think was the entire rib cage of the pig.
There was so many ribs and yeah, then like a couple beers and
it was like sixty dollars. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it
was so good. And we were sitting against a window that I refer to
as make out reef because we're in a window. Then there's the street,
and then there's this little four park park parking lot for like four cars that
people drive into because you can like go down like into the water from there.
Yeah. So people are like doing like cold plunge. It's like a
like a businessman getting a wet suit, take a dip, then like get
back and like undress in like his trunk and then like get back and then
just leave. Yeah yeah, they're just like, oh but it go get
my cold plunch with the bike. So that was fun. That was fun.
We're watching a lot of people getting hit by water and stuff. It
was so good. And we had a couple of local meads. Oh yeah,
that's what we had. We had her red and a white, little
couple of local means yeah, got her red and white and it was they
were both pretty good. Yeah, our food was great, it was really
good. What was it called. It was called like the blue House,
No, like bloom It's like not blue House, it's like Bloominos something like
that. Okay, Blueminose, Luminos, the Irish Dominoes. And it's funny
because we realized later that last episode in Cork we mentioned that this pottery lady
was telling us a bunch of places to go. Oh yeah, we forgot
about the card and after the Kinsale trip we looked at it and like we
went there. That was on them when she said we had to go to
and I think she even said it's like she think that's what one. She's
like, it's a little far walk. Yeah, we took that walk.
We took that walk, and then once we left there, we was like
like Blemens or something, Bluomens, something like that. Yeah, it was
like a short five minute like it was those pubs like on the Yeah,
it was like right up right next to the fort. So we went up
to the fort and the fort is obviously it's you know, it's old,
it's run down, it's not really run down, but you know, it's
time comes for all of us. So it's all outside. It's inevitable,
it's inevitable. It's all outside. And like right when we get to the
fort, it starts raining, and so we probably we were at the fort
for probably an hour or so and just like walking in the rain, trying
to look at it. So casually we feel like they're like, who are
these morons? We don't have uh we we both didn't wear like rain raincoats,
so we're just getting soaked. We're walking so casually, I'm taking video,
we're re enacting more scenes, we're LARPing, and you know, those
people probably look at the window like who the fuck are these people? Like
Americans like we did. We were just like this is fun. Look we
played castle now where you think sleep like, but it was really it was
so fun. It was so green and so green and yeah, it's a
literal like it's it's just stone, just big opening and it's on eight acres.
It's quite large. Yeah, it was very large, and it's on
like the it's on a cliff, it's on like the edge of the Ireland.
Yeah. Yeah, And at one point we found like kind of some
of the storehouses. There were some creepy ass parts of this castle too.
Yeah, yes, where we I would go. We were going in some
of them and there's a little bit of light, but then there was a
few would go in it's pitch black. And with one of them, I
pulled out my phone camera, like my phone flashlight, and it made no
change like this. This was like some demon demon darkness that like ate the
light. And I was like, nope, no, thank you. And
then I left and I heard like a loud and I looked up and there's
just this fat pigeon in a hole next to the door, just staring at
me. Yeah, the pigeon thought it was part of the brick because it
was. It was was in of where a brick one. It was inside
the walls like let's kind of break around them, and it's a gray and
green and yeah, it looked like it was like I got you and it
was incognito. Yeah, master of disguise it was. But it was really
cool. That was a really beautiful for it, like uh, you know,
architecture and vintage and cool history and all the fun stuff and so yeah,
so we did that. Then the three mile back walked back to Kinza
went to the walk back was a lot easier downhill, downhill and oh hi
buddy, how it was so much fun. I drew the heck out of
it. And then we went to Double one Button. Yeah, we had
dinner. Thing. It wasn't very good. The pub was okay. It
was another just a little pub. We got like a cheese board and that
was good. Yeah, there was some good. We tried different so we
did a flight of whiskey. Whiskey fly well because we wanted to do a
gin flight because there was a gin that was made for distilled in Kinsell and
gin apparently gin is quite a thing in Ireland, but they didn't really have
that as an option, so we did the We were like, well,
we're an island, we'll do a whiskey flight. Yeah, and they're okay.
I'm not a big whiskey guy, but yeah, we drank them.
We drank them. We drank them. I think we drank all but one
one. Neither of us could get through. Yeah, it's a smoky Yeah,
it was pretty it was even for me and uh so we really I
think that we were annoying the waitress because we were taking our time like we
were in there for like three hours. Yeah, we were in there.
I was like, we're gonna order this flight and we're gonna get a cheese
board. And we did that for like an hour and a half. Yeah,
and then she's like you already leave and I was like, no,
we'd like to order an orange tree please. Yeah. We had the nastiest
pie. We had their famous whatever Irish pie whatever that's called. Oh so
yeah, so they have I think it's an English thing more so. But
it was called like the bona fie pie. And the reason is because I
read I didn't the description was pretty was pretty like, didn't have a whole
lot of detail exactly. But when we were at that pub that we were
just talking about the micheline one next to Charles Ford, I saw someone order
this same dessert and it looked delicious. You did say that, and so
I was like, oh, I trusted you. Well, I trusted me
too. It wasn't terrible, but it was just a weird. It was
a weird, and so we ordered it. And to be fair, it
looked good to a certain extent. Essentially, what it is, it's about
an inch of like a granola or not like a gram cracker. Crust and
then a few slices of banana and then like four inches of whipped cream on
top of it. Yeah, it was like a weird It was like a
boring banana pudding. And I ate a lozon. Yeah, I don't remember
what I ate. Oh I I proud. I ordered a prown scampy and
it was like four tiny little like fry coconnut fry. I was like,
well, this is not a scampy first of all. Uh so yeah,
So it was okay. But we had a blast in there, just each
other. Oh, we were having so much fun. I don't remember what
we were doing. It was so funny though. And then it was and
we were wet. We were cold, like just trying to dry off.
And then we got back dress in our damp clothes, hiked back to the
airbnb, and uh did what we do, got high, watched the market.
Sweet. But the night we masturbated together, I ate that puss.
You eat that pus. I did eat that puss and fingered you at the
same time. You look so proud. He was like, you just bragged
to like a friend and sounds great. Have to toot my own horn.
But you'll never guess what I got to do the other night. I got
to eat some puss a finger in it. But I did make you come.
I did, and you came hot. Oh that's what that's true.
That's when you. Yeah, you came for like five minutes. I like,
I left, when I got went to the grocery store, got a
few things, came back and you were still. Not true, it's not
true, not true because you Uh. The big part why that happened is
because you just like kept going. Yeah yeah, I wasn't done with you.
Yeah, oh that was cute. Okay, I like that. So,
yeah you came and then you you gave me a blowy. I did
give me a really good blowie. I think, Yeah, I think we're
both like that was great. Yeah, both just had a good time.
But yeah I did. I crushed your hand, Yes you did. You
almost broke my hand with those thunder thighs of yours. Thank you, And
I say that in the highest regards. Yeah, okay, you and I
Yeah, whatever you say, pencil Dick. Well, you know your thighs
are like one of my favorite parts of you. I know, and I
know it. I know when you're old and ready to go, you just
give me the signal and I'm just gonna suffocate you mm hmm slowly. So
yeah, and then we went to sleep and the next morning we got up
and headed to Glowey was fantastic. What happened? Tell me you gave me
a blowey. You just went down, you went Oh that was whenever,
Like what were we to do? Well? Because that was when you like
you like had me in your throat and you swallowed my dick like I got
a little sting from your stomach acid. I was like, you went intense.
Thank you so much. Yeah, No, it was really fun.
Thank you, distinguished Panel of judges. It was really good. Good.
Yeah, we both, we both we did that. Yeah, it was
nice. And then we watched like two more episodes of Supermarket Sweep. Yeah,
we had plans, we had plans. It was really really good.
Yeah, I was quite excited. I was like, we got it.
We did it. It's yeah, yeah, all right, and it can
sail and it can sel and then into Dublin and then into Dublin. So
yeah, we went to Dublin. We went to Dublin, checked into our
hotel which is in the middle of pub Central. Yeah, so we booked
this hotel we got there during an international windstorm. So yeah, so we
booked them. We booked this hotel, and we booked it because it was
kind of like it seems it was like in the middle of everything. Oh,
this is like walking dis into everything. We didn't know that meant like
in the middle of everything. It was surrounded by pubs and like in like
kind of imagine if you booked a hotel a bunch of pubs. I was
gonna make it an example, but I don't know if this this won't hit
with everyone, but if you booked a hotel on Bourbon Street in New Orleans,
like that's essentially what it was. Which so we didn't sleep a whole
lot that in Dublin because because every night people would be partying until two am,
and then around five am they would start the pubs would start getting in
their keg deliveries. So we would wake up every morning to just like metal
clinging around. Oh my god, that was awful. But yeah, so
we booked in the middle. So we're trying to find it. We're lost,
and hotel's crazy. It has like doctor's office carpet. It's it's a
wild it's a wild experience. But yeah, we get there and while we're
looking Chicagong on Nothing on Dublin, we were getting like tossed around, like
we were struggling to like stand up right. I don't know what happened.
I got to the point where we've got our suitcases. He's so annoyed,
but he's also trying to be protective of me because there's a lot of people
around. And then there's also like I'm getting I'm like a toddler getting swayed
in the wind, and so he's also in like that protective mode of being
like I must find woman safety, but I don't know town the angriest man
going into a Krispy Krean being like, someone needs to get me a map,
give me your phone. I wasn't rude to them, but I was.
I was more just sterren. I was just like, do y'all know
where the res is? And they were like no, And I go,
I got this map, I said, And they were trying to tell me,
and I finally I just went, can what do y'all pull out your
phones? So, yeah, we were able to find it. Turns out
we were like right next door to it. Yeah, we now use that
Krispy krean as being like, oh, we're near home. Yeah, but
even then they didn't even know. They weren't like, oh it's called street
dipshit. Yeah, they were just like it's not it's kind of hidden.
We forgot. Well, I'm not going to get into it because we've It's
fine. It was in the past. It was in Cork. We forgot
that. Hell, when we were in Cork, we got lost for like
forty five minutes when we were so close to being back two our airbnb because
it randomly is like house. Oh yeah, like I guess we're going.
Yeah. Yeah, we were practically there and then some woman was like this
way, trickle left here when we should have taken a ride, and then
ended up on the other side of Cork. Yeah. It was so fun.
But yeah, but the hotel was kind of hit it. It was
kind of like the like the little place that Harry like the the house or
hotel or whatever it is that Harry Potter goes to in one of the movies,
where like the buildings separate. Yeah, it was kind of like that,
and that, you know what I mean, It's kind of like that.
It's kind of like that. So yeah, and then we we they
have their own pub underneath this, and they have their own pub. So
we we dropped our stuff off and then went and had dinner, and we
had Mongolian like a Mongolian girl, sixty dollars Mongolian girl. I was like,
God damn it. So all we've talked about about Ireland being cheap.
Dublin said, hold might be. Dublin said, We're gonna make up for
all that. Yeah, Dublin I was so so expensive interesty And then I
was like, let's get some rest LEI Leis slept next day. I don't
remember what we did in order we should just talk about kind of things we
did in Dublin. Yeah, because Dublin, I think for both of us
was our least favorite part of the trip. Yeah. It was just kind
of another big city. It was just in the big city, people were
really rude running into each other. Yeah, and I imagine if this is
what like New York would feel like. Yeah, yeah, but a lot
more like students, though a lot more students. There's so many like students.
Yeah, there's also a lot of Ireland has a lot of here's the
thing I'm gonna say. I know Ireland's been through a lot Ireland. I
think thinks it's a lot tougher than it is. There's a lot of like
kind of Irish dudes that think they're gangsters, and I want to be like,
bitch, I'm from America. Our schools are deadly, like back off.
Well, I want to talk about one of my favorite moments. Think
we should talk about Donald's highlights Highlights of Dublin. We went to McDonalds.
At this point, we're pretty fooded out. We want to save some money.
Yeah, the food's overpriced and not good, so I would rather pay
less with what I know, which is a chicken nug absolutely. And then
they had a few like they had a few special things on the menu that
we don't have, like like they're basically like mozzarella balls, but they're garlic.
They were kind of like the they were like garlic cheese balls. They
were like they were like kind of like cheese curds kind of kind of.
Yeah, they were so good. They're very good. Came with a marinaire
sauce which I didn't even know McDonald's. Yeah. I had like a smoke
house steak burger kind of thing and it was three story McDonald's. Yeah,
it was so huge. There's people just drinking a coffee reading a book,
like, yeah, people thought this McDonald's was a Starbucks. Yeah, it
was so fun. That was a good time. We went into the creepiest
wax So, so, okay, hold on, put a pause here,
put a pause here. This is the this is the thing I wanted to
talk about most in these entire three parts of this of this trip. So
so Rihanna loves them wax museum, I do. She loves a wax museum.
I don't hate them, they're done right, but I they creep me
out, like to a certain extent. We've been to the San Antonio one.
We were drunk. We were drunk. But here's what I'm saying.
Typically at a wax museum, even though I go through them with a little
bit of uneasiness, they're not terrible, Like I can get through them like
just they just cream me out a little bit. So I was like,
okay, yeah, we'll go to wax. I'm fine, Like I've been
through a what you've been talking about it this long, You're clearly fine.
And then we go to this Dublin wax museum. So first of all,
you walk in, you walk in and the first thing there is is a
section. The first section you go into is a fucking science museum. Yeah
it's Albert Einstein. There's a wax figure of Albert Einstein and then a wax
figure of Frankenstein. But the rest of it is just like here's how light
bolts are made, like, okay, except for one room that you can
just see through a glass that the only way I could describe it is a
steampunk tool music video. I don't know what was going on in there.
I can't even that's I don't know how to describe it. So then you
go through the the the the science part, and we get into the actual
wax museum, and almost immediately that the next to in that same room there
was also just like trivia like ripley believe it or not, like this is
the tallest man. Oh yeah, there was like shit like that, and
then a veloci raptor that was moving around. Yeah. I don't know this.
Yeah, And then we go into the next part, which is the
actual wax museum, and immediately I am feeling so creeped out, more than
I ever have in a wax museum. And we we'll talk about why later.
You you have a good realization later of why that is, and you
are also uneasy. Yeah, like you're also cray my idea to come and
what you eventually brought up later, And I was like, oh, I
bet that's it. If anyone's never been to a wax museum, if you
imagine a room, imagine like a normal standard bedroom in that size, there
will probably be two wax figures. Yeah, like they're kind of spread out
and there's not a there's not a bunch this one. Now imagine that same
bedroom and there's twenty wax figures in it, and you yeah, it was
jam packed with wax figures and none of them went together, and none of
them there was no coach. If you went there was like ten ten wax
figures. If they have them on they're on bleachers, so they're on levels.
They're all cramped next to each other and it's like the Avengers. Yeah
you know what I mean, Like they go together. But this is a
room from like you could not put your back against the wall. The entire
from the entire wall show their shouldered shoulder. Yeah. I was like,
one of these is gonna be real. This is like a terrible joke.
I know that someone's I'm gonna be on some Irish Jimmy Kimmel shit like,
and they're all like they're not Jimmy o'kimmel, and none of them are good,
so they're all they could just be bad acting they like for any of
my horror fans out there, they knel like the Uncanny Valley creepiness like they're
so like they're good enough where you can go, Okay, I know who
they're trying to be, but they're they're off where it's like eerie. Yeah,
and so yeah, it's just jam packed. So immediately I'm like,
oh, I'm fire off, like both like fuck this. And we kind
of started just powering through a little bit. I think I'm trying to power
through more than you, but we're still both like let's just keep going.
And and so we go through this this madness of all these wax figures open
a door, like the next part call Out, we didn't know like sixty
of the people. There's a lot of Irish specific things going on for sure,
and then then Ninja Turtles yeah, and then the Deadpool. Oh yeah,
that was just a store bond pond. That was just a store bought
spirit hallowaid costume on a mannequin and then so we go through the next part
and immediately open the door. And I don't know who thought this was a
good idea, but they're about fifteen hundred clocks that are all like dinging and
going, and it's like and you go down a flight of stairs. It's
like three stories of this. It is a horror movie. It's like Alice
Alice in Wonderland, like falling through a tunnel, but the tunnel stares for
us. Yeah, it was so eerie, and I get in hindsight,
I know what they're trying to do. They're trying to be like, you're
going back in time. No, yeah, Sungebob's not back in time.
No, this was after SpongeBob. Well then, why haven't we talked about
SpongeBob yet. Way, Well, so we saw SpongeBob and a weird little
Harry Potter boy. Oh yeah, they had Harry Potter, but he was
not He's not okay, They had Henry Porter and a really gross looking a
bullpit that SpongeBob was in, right yeaheah, and then a tunnel that you
crawled through and I was like, there's no fucking way. I'm calling through
that. But you came out and you're like, there's nothing in there.
It was just a tunnel. Well now that looks stupid, but grown almost
thirty year old woman that just went through a two foot tunnel, Yeah,
there was nothing in it. There's a bad maleficent. Yeah, it's giving
like they think I don't believe. I believe, Like you can take me
in the portal now, yeah, anything else that you want to just the
weird blue room. Yeah, okay, now the cloth. So we get
through the cuckoo clocks, go down three sides of flights of stairs and keep
it. Find this whole place. It's not really done up. Besides like
the weird props. No, there's like paint, there's pain falling off.
Yeah. We're like in the back of the theater. Yeah, a prop
house. And we get down the stairs and there's like an open doorway that's
at least for me. I have to crouch down to get it like brid
to line, have to crawl. We see like what looks like a wooden
hut that we have to walk through, memories anything, and then this creepy
wax statue of a little girl like doing doing just in like old timey clothes.
I don't know what she's just crunched over. Oh my god, I
forgot about there is And now it's now we're about to go. Yeah,
we're about to go through the wax Museum History of Ireland. And it is
it is, it is. There's the light celling. We're already creeped out
and now you have to crawl through this hut that's like dark as hell.
And this was about the time the wax figures are like six inches from us.
Yes, and this is when we put it into fifth gear. I
put it all in the way we sprinted, not even looking. We were
like looking down. We were so creeped out. Power through this, Yeah,
we like stopped. We don't read a single thing. We like nope,
I didn't see a name. I didn't look at their faces, didn't
look at anyone. I was like no, no, no, no,
no, Power through it. And then comes to it's just like the one
that we went to when we were in Bosson. We were in Salem,
but at least a tour guide. They were God and we were with other
people. We're by ourselves amongst demons. Power through. Then we get to
a point that all wax museums where you kind of split off and you can
either take like a left to continue the wax museum normally, or they have
like a horror section, and we were like, go fuck yourself, we're
not doing that because we've done the one in sane it Tony of the horror
section and it's like they'll have wax figures of like Freddy Krueger and Jason and
like horror icons. And I was like, there's no fucking way. I'm
so fucking Loually not. We're not doing that. So we just go through
the rest and then and then it kind of we went through like a black
and white like Neon not black and white, I'm sorry, black light kind
of where everything was neon and it was like the enchanted forest and it was
all wax figures of different like nursery rhymes. Like you would think like as
an example, there would be like we see mother Goose and I don't remember,
stick with me because this is what I'm getting as an example. It
would be like it would be like there would be a mother goose, there
would be a wax figure of handsl and Gretel, a wax figure of red
riding hood, yes, because this is the example I'm giving. But it
was all like very like obscure Irish folk tales that I'm sure in Ireland they're
big, but I didn't know what any of these. It'd be like Shanado'
Donnelly and the Wicked Flute. Like it was just a random shit, like
I don't know what it was. So we we went through that and then
yeah, and that was it. We we exited this. We like,
how was it? We were like, you know, were like that was
a terrifying experience. And they looked like they looked at us so like they
just cooked us a meal, and we're like, how was it? Did
you? Like? It was it great? Yeah? To enjoy yourself And
we were like no, this was absolute trash. And they were like they
looked heartbroken. They were so confused. Yeah, like they didn't know how
to I don't know if they thought maybe that we were going to ask for
a refund or something like I think they were. They just looked they just
didn't know how to handle it. And I was just like, so that's
crazy, Sorry, I have to work here. Yeah, and then we
left. It was wild. Yeah, like we like I think it's because
we had a tone as if we were going to tell them all, but
we're like, you know what, this wax museum isn't outrage it is scary.
Y'all's muse. Y'all's figures are creepy as hell. Why y'all got so
many? And we remember it afterwards. We missed a whole section. Yeah,
I was like, we didn't even see the whole thing. We miss
a different section too because I saw Donald Trump up there and I was like,
i'mline interested. And then we went the other way and then I forgot
to go back. We see the other figures, but we saw an insane
David Beckham. Oh yeah, it looked nothing like him. Yeah, So
that was That was wild. And that was the second creepy museum we went
to, because earlier that day we went to their Natural History Museum, which
was fascinating. It's a museum of the museum. It was a museum of
the museum. Essentially, what it was was a museum of taxidermied animals that
some of them are from like the late eighteen hundreds, most of them were
a lot of them were, and so there was it was definitely the first
half was was okay. A lot of birds, a lot of birds,
they looked okay, they looked fine. The biggest deer that it's moose.
Yeah, the Irish giant deer, which was fucking massively a dinosaur. We
were both like, that's not a deer, that's a moose. I don't
know his name about McCollums are yeah and yeah, and it's like, hasn't
like a lot of the things there haven't even been moved, Like there was
pictures of these massive deer in the same spot since like the early nineteen hundreds,
Like, yeah, it was very fascinating. But and then we get
to like the sea life section and we were both like nope. And specifically
there was a shark that they had hanging Yeah, Joe's crab shack styles shark
hanging from the ceiling and this thing, I don't know what date it was.
It it was not preserved well based on based on deterioration, I would
say that shark's been there since five hundred and thirty, like it was not.
And there was a few there that were not aging very well, and
the eyes looked insane. The eyes looked and say that shark really ruined the
whole thing for me. They need diagnos grotesque. Yeah, it was.
It got pretty weird. And what it got pretty weird. They had a
bug section section which and this kind of once we hit the halfway point,
it was a small room. It wasn't like a huge museum either. Once
it was just one long room. And uh, once you once you hit
the kind of like the like kind of like the size of like a church.
Yeah. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Yeah,
once we hit the halfway point, you were like, Okay, I'm gonna
look down and just find a corner to wait for you to finish up.
Yeah. I found an error. It was just where it talked about just
the history of museum, and I sat on a chair and read that.
Yeah. Yeah, so we did that, and then afterwards I read a
sign that like but I didn't really understand what it meant until we went through
and Salt, because we didn't really know exactly what the museum was till we're
in there. But on the outside there's signs that are like, hey,
everyone, just so you know, the well the elephant and the gorilla are
not they're being worked on there being there, you know, being taken care
of somewhere else, and I was like, oh, okay, I imagine
like maybe a skeleton of you know. Yeah. But then when saw I
was all taxidermy, I was like, oh my god, I don't know
what I would have done if I saw a taxidermy gorilla that was in the
shape of some of these things or the well, I could not have been
more. At first, I was bummed out because I was like, it'd
be fun to see like a skeleton of a gorilla. It would not have
been fun to see a taxidermyed gorilla from the seventeen hundreds. Yeah, like
like like let alone the well. You know, you gotta you get a
healthy taxidermy animal, and then you know, eight hundred years go by and
that that taxidermy animal is now interrexing. Much like saying Charles or Charles fort
time comes for us all. Yeah, whether you're a stone structure, rapid
matted hair, matted hair, one eye half hanging out like like sometimes you
got laid in as yeah. Yeah. So that was that. Yeah,
And then we did the Little Dublin Museum, which if you are in Dublin,
take time to go to the time. It's literally called the like little
Dublin Museum, the Little It's On that we did all this doing a hop
on, Yes, we did a hop on, hop Off tour and that
was like if I would recommend, like, if you're gonna, if you
want to do Dublin, spend one day in Dublin and make sure you do
the Little Museum of Dublin. It was very cute. They we got to
do like a little guide tour guide experience and he was so much fun.
Yeah, it was such a good time. And we're participator, so he
was, he was, he was enjoying the hell out of us. And
yeah, it was such a cute, cool little museum. They love you
too. And thin Lizzy uh huh, which is so funny to me because
Thin Lizzy seems like it's such a to me like kind of they had a
couple of big hits, but they're kind of like a two to one hit.
Wonder here, what happened to my paper? Yeah, it's packed away,
I got it. So yeah, the Little Dublin Museum was cute.
Then. Yeah, and then we we spent a couple of nights at different
pubs participating, participating there as well, people are not participators, so we
were throwing everyone off. We really looked like I would casts there. Yeah,
one night we were just searching for food and that was the whole thing.
We had the grossest pizza of our lives. Yeah, Ireland does not
do like bar food is not as very common thing. A lot of bars
didn't have kitchens. And in America either a bar has a kitchen or bar
have kitchens. Either a bar has a kitchen or if it doesn't have a
kitchen, it usually they're like, you can bring food in. Yeah,
Ireland was like, our bars don't have kitchen and you sure shit better not
bring any food in here. Yeah, so that was kind of tough.
But we had good time that first I too. We also had some We
had some really good sex, did we? I don't remember. Oh that's
a shame either, do I No? I just yeah, no, we
did. We had sex. We did because I remember at one point using
a condom. Yeah, we definitely did. I wish we wrote that down.
If only someone made something, we can write that down. Do we
have we have? We have mourning sex? Wasn't it? Didn't we have
morning sex? I think we had morning sex? What we did? Maybe
do we would we do morning sex and then go do tourist things. Does
that us? That doesn't sound like US. I think we had sex twice.
We were having so we like can sale happened and we were we were
popping off us. Okay, yeah, I know we were on a roll.
I remember like breaking out my vibrator for a little while that first night
because we woke up and realized that our window. We rolled the window up
and there was a bunch of students and we were naked. Yeah, our
window face right into it like a school English English Studies, International English Studies
there at least it was like a college. At least it was a college
age group of people. Yeah, my vibrator was like right there. I
was like, oh yeah, but no, we did. We had some
really good sex. I was having really great orgasms there too. I remember
that. No, I can't remember a lie about it. No orgasm like
a vacation orgasm, no legit. And it was really it was really nice
and I was excited to have you in me. Yeah, yeah, but
we did. I do remember having I do remember having sex too, but
I don't really remember the specific sex. Yeah, I mean I brought condoms.
You did you popped off? He said? Safety first, safety,
safety first, and then a lot of supermarket sweep and then a lot of
supermarket sweep snacks. Guinness Museum, Guinness Museum. We haven't talked about the
Guinness Useum. This made this episode make a lit along, but it'll be
fine. Yeah, yeah, I forgot about the Guinness Seum and that was
probably my favorite part of Dublin. And we did a lot of walking.
We did a lot of walking and like just checking out the sites. I
went to a local gaming store. Yes, that was fun. It was
fun. I saw Fun Costume shop. You saw Fun Costume Shop, and
she was like she was like a designers, Like she's made costumes, like
just like costumes for celebrities to walk like to various red carpet events, which
was really cool. But yeah, Guinness. We did Guinness and that was
so fun and it was like going to the chocolate factory. It really was.
Yeah, Like the town is gray. We're talking like Charlie Bucket,
like it's gray and rainy, and we're like and also like to have said
because the fact it takes us like most of the town, like most of
Dublin is the Guinness brew House. Yeah. I don't know how many acred
how many miles by miles it is. Yeah, it's huge. I think
at one point, at one point we read that it like eployed like two
thirds of Dublin, of the population of Dublin at one point. Yeah.
Yeah, like it's massive. Yeah. No, they probably got Chick fil
A in there or something. Yeah, bomb ass food court. Yeah.
But uh yeah, it was like industrial style, like probably the size of
like an oil refinery or something. Yeah, but a big tall gate.
It was Saint James Gate. It's like the famous one. It's huge.
Yeah. We got a picture. So if you've ever seen like a Guinness
commercial where you see the gate opening, that's saying that's the Saint James Gate.
And we were there. We were there, we took pictures with it,
and uh we went through. It looked like at first we were kind
of like, oh, it's kind of like a mall. Yeah, at
first it was a little like we were a little hesitant about it. Yeah,
we're reading the facts, we're going through. It's very interactive, very
almost almost children's museum in like a science way, where like you go in
a room there's like ten jugs, ten lots of barrels to starts off with
them just talking about the history of barrel making, which I found like fascinating.
But I was also like we needed all but it was a big deal.
But yes, we needed a whole section just for barrels. Yeah,
and then you go to another area, but there's just a lot of like
lights, there's a lot of lights and it's very modern. It's modern science
yancy. But we started going, you know, getting through it. I
liked the area where we watched some different Guinness commercials that were Yeah, they
had like a whole marketing section which was really fun to watch. Yeah,
they were talking about the history of their marketing assets and mascots and stuff like
that. Yeah, we saw a really pretty bit like a light chindle light
fixture that was lit up into the heart at harp Yep. We learned that
Ireland likes Guinness so much that they decided to make the No, that's not
that's not why it's it's a symbol. It's just an Ireland symbol, Like
it's part of history Guinness because it was Guinness has been around since seventeen hundreds.
Guinness made that there the symbol of the thing. It's just a special
heart that goes back in Irish folklore and stuff like that. And then a
few years later, maybe in the nineteen hundreds, at some point Ireland decided
they wanted to make that the official symbol of Ireland, but due to trademark
reasons, Guinness already owned the trademark on that symbol. So now the Irish
the symbol of Ireland is the same heart, but mirrored. Yeah, if
you just let me finish, that's what I was saying, too sure,
but I'm saying it's that's Guinness did not invent that heart. No, it's
oh that sucks like my version either way, the Guinness was the first one
to have it on something. Yes, so that was really fun. We
saw the lease, the original lease signed in the late seventeen hundreds. That
was a thousand year lease for like one hundred dollars a month. Well,
it's fun is that. Later the next day we watched the Conan O'Brien special
where he went through the Guinness country like in twenty twelve, so we got
to see like what it used to look like, and it looks a lot
more humble. It does. Yeah, it's very more farm style, distillery
silver tanks and da da da da. So now and now it's like,
oh cool, I bet you want to know, don't she weather Boy Like
yeah, you're walking by and there's just lots of walls that just say like
one word on them, like we will keep going. Yeah, that was
super change is near. But to be fair, like we also learned that
Guinness is a pretty progressive company. They had two female board members in the
forties. Yeah, and only one of them was a latch key. It
was she was well her like biog if he was. Like her biography read
like she wasn't just like she didn't just get it because she was a Guinness.
I mean sure, I'm sure she worked for the company because she was
a Guinness, but like they presented her as though she like, no,
she's she is a Guinness, but she also knows her ship. Okay,
so yeah, I know. It was really fun. Uh. Their commercials
are very they know how to like pull the heartstrings with they're acts, very
super Bowl style and probably know those were all super Bowl commercials. That's they're
very impactful. Yeah. One of their one of theirs is a man riding
a wave and the whole part of it is like be patient to wait because
because because get when you get poored again, you have to wait two minutes
to drink it correct. So that was me and that was they were talking
about the history of that and how it's it's framed as one of the greatest
commercials of all time, won multiple awards and is considered one of the greatest
commercials, which is which is so fun. And the media room was like
surrounding you were surrounded by giants. Yeah, it was like I feel like
we were like in a the like this cus the c I A like yeah,
and they have like they have like the same everything. The same thing
is playing in like four different sections so everyone can see. And then between
commercials they have like the screen turns in this long thing where it's like the
guinness foam flowing. Yeah, it was a fun It was a fun experience.
We went into the little Willy Walker room where you do like a tasting
of guinness and they teach you how to d out it properly, drink tennis.
But it truly was like a Willy Walker room. It was like all
white and there's these well because what happened is we were going through everything self
guided, self guided. We're not in a group. Yeah, so self
guided we're taking our time. We get to an area because and then when
we're done with that area, you go upstairs and there's probably what like eight
levels, it's really and then yeah, so you know, we make it
to a certain point and we get off and there's there's people that work there
that like, hey, go wait and line over here, like oh okay,
and we saw a clock with a countdown on it, and other people
that are just making their way like okay, I guess we're all going to
get led into the next section together. So now like we're randomly with a
group and we're fun. We started a countdown, we started a Happy New
Year's like ten seconds. Yeah, and uh the people that worked they were
like, oh boy cool. And then yeah we got let into like yeah
and all white TV go down like this hallway of like gold and like all
kinds of stuff and then yeah, they and the doors open automatically as so
they just like double doors and it's this all white room with these like pillars
that are spewing out smoke like vapor. Yeah, and we got tiny little
shots Guinness, We got tiny little glass Aguinnis. The pillars with the vapor
are like they're pumping out smells of each of the main ingredients of the ingredients
of guinness. Barley, barley, not barley, yeast yeas yeah, foam,
water, earth, glass, plastic, just a little yeah, just
too taste. And they and then they take us to another room, which
this I'm gonna say this. So we go into another room and this is
where they teach you how to drink the guinness. Yeah, and I'm glad
they did that because I don't drink it that way. Yes, you're not
supposed to. It's it's not a sipping. It's not a sipping, it's
a power through the phone. First. Yeah, you take like pretty big
swigs of it. But this room was like kind of a velvet room,
very classy looking, and there's portraits all over the place, and the way
they were like, okay, you tried your guinness, let's go, and
no one else. I was the only person that was like, well,
these are all the members of the Guinness family from seventeen hundred, Like I
wanted to like look at the portraits. Yeah, and I didn't get to
because they kind of like shoveled us out, and I apparently was the only
one who was actually interested. You're crazy your cuckoo for cucoo. I was
so disappointed in that. But yeah, and then it ends up at the
their tasting room. They have like a cafeteria, like three different restaurants.
Yeah, they had a bunch of different restaurants. And then you go up
to the skybar and have a freak have a freak guinness while you while you
look over Dublin. Yeah. It was really high up and it was really
pretty. It was very pretty, and I was not scared. You're a
big boy. What did happen though, is once we were at the top
floor, I don't think. I think I was just so enthralled and like
interested in everything. It wasn't clicking to me that we were going up,
like because the museum is like a vertical museum. Yeah, so you're going
each section, you're going up more stairs. And at one point I looked
down and you can see the bottom, and that I felt my stomach drop
and that got very nervous. But then once we got up to the bar,
I felt a lot better. Yeah, because the bar wasn't it was
like on top of a roof, Like it's full glass around, but if
you looked out, there's like roofs right there. That are like, like
if I fell out the glass, I would lay in like ten feet onto
onto a roof. Yeah, you're not in like a space needle. Yeah.
And the guinness was so good. I thought it was something that if
I like had it at enough times, I would like it. I feel
like I would actually like a Guinness like in the winter time. Sure,
it seems it seems like it'd be a seasonal drink for me. But it
was good. I powered through the foam and yeah, it was actually pretty
good. I drink most of it. I was very surprised that they didn't
have all their different kinds of guinness, or at least a few options.
We learned that there's like six different styles Aguinness that they only had two.
They only had two, the original and and then like a logger, they
had a well they had three because they had and yeah, they had the
logger. They have the original Guinness. And then while we were in the
media room were we watched an ad that I thought was so cute. It
was like a spoof of crystal pepsi and it was crystal Guinness and so it's
like people drinking clear guinness and all this and at the end it's it's just
a water added be like drink responsible and make sure you're drinking water while you
drink. That I thought was really cute ad And so they had like the
water spout said Crystal Guinness Crystal on it. So yeah, that was the
Guinness USUM. I thought that was really fun. Yeah, that was that
was a lot of fun. Yeah. Anything else about Dublin, No there
airport is nice. They took care of it. It was not busy at
all. It's like especially we had a little bit of trouble. Yeah,
when we arrived American Airlines, I guess I don't know why they put us
on like a no fly list essentially, I think because of all the fuck
ups and situation of getting there from two weeks ago. But they called and
they got fake fixed really really simply. We went to like our own special
area of departure for like oh yeah we did to the states, we go
through customs, but they but we got to do customs in Dublin, Yeah,
which was really nice. It was nice, and they were nice.
They didn't give a shit about us. Yeah, we just walked through a
maze and that was it. They didn't really care. Yeah, I think
I think there was because we thought we were gonna have to go through security
a second time there, but they just passed us right through security. So
I'm thinking securities for like, if you're traveling to America and you're not an
American citizen, yeah, that you have to go through security. But yeah,
and then we had we had lunch and a little restaurant. It's really
good. I liked it. I liked our lunch. We had toasties,
we did. We had some good toasties. Yeah, this is a grilled
cheese. Yeah. They love a toasty. Yeah, they're toasty. Every
menu had toasties. Yeah. When some places were like you don't have food,
we have toasty yeah yeah yeah, No, that was good. And
we got on our flight to go to Dallas and that was like an almost
ten hour flight. We realized the American airlines and nationally we like a lot
more than British airways. The food was still gross. This one was gross,
sir, right, Well, we actually didn't mind the food on the
British airways. For plain food. It was actually pretty deep. I'm saying
the food is better on British airways. Yeah. The dinner that the food
they gave us on on the A fly was pretty was pretty nasty. Yeah,
but they had like they have more options on their TVs and stuff like
that. There's more updated. Yes, it was. Yeah, the seats
were more up to date too. Yeah. They have fancy windows that have
like dimmers. Oh that was wild. Yeah, didn't have like the pool
down thing. You have never seen that before. It was just like it
was electric. It was like, yeah, it was like you push,
you just tap how dark you want the thing in it the window? Eventually
it takes a while, but it does get eventually, like I had mine
turned all the way down and it took a while, but eventually got fully
black where you could really you'd have to really look to see through it.
Yeah. So yeah, it was just more up to date electronically plane.
But food bad. The food was bad. But then we got home and
I love being home and we love being home. The flight from Dallas too
also was awful. But yeah, the whole plane was gross. It was
very gross, and we didn't get to sit together. We didn't get to
sit together. That was sick. You were scaring the men next to me.
You're like gonna get tickbun. Yeah, you're gonna throw up because I
wanted to get us off the plane and no one was moving. Everyone was
in our fucking way. So in my mind like, chill out, Adam.
But in my mind I didn't. I figured I knew I was gonna
embarrass you a little bit. That's my thing is. I was like,
get out of our way, or she's gonna vomit on you. It's your
choice. You either move or you leave tonight with puke when we have a
baby. Yeah, yeah, So yeah, we got home and it was
a lovely time. We had such a good time in London. Yeah,
in Ireland's memorable. We had such a good time in Ireland. Next up
Houston and then we'll get to tell y'all about tips in a new airport and
compare to have an entire episode, we compare the Houston airport from the Austin
Airporce. It'd be so much easier because it's a real fucking airport. It
is nice and big. And I know what you're all thinking, that this
is episode fifteen, so the season's over. It's not. It's not over.
We didn't anticipate. Our scheduling was a little We didn't know that the
Ireland trip was gonna take three fucking episodes, So in our mind it was
gonna take one or two episodes. So we're not gonna stop the season just
because it's episode fifteen. And that's what we've done the last all the seasons,
because even to begin with, we never were going to have fifteen episodes.
We got fucked in the ass by an asshole, and now that's why
we have fifteen episodes per season. So thanks a lot for that. Yeah,
So next week we're gonna do a finale episode, and I suggest people
really tune in for that. I think people should tune in for all of
our episodes. But I think we're gonna have a lot to talk about in
the finale and specifically kind of the future of this podcast. And that sounds
more grim, don't don't that sounds more grim than it is. But I
do think it'll be a good episode. Hey, you know that, I
don't nothing. We talked about it, okay, But I just want to
present and give all the information. I want to give people a real peek
behind the curtain. Behind the curtain look at macod Or. All right,
stay horny, guys, Bye, see you next week. If you enjoy
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