Ope. This email finds you will Overworked underplay it is not safe for work.
Dungeons and Dragon's actual play podcast about a group of young professionals from the
real world we find themselves transported it into a strange but familiar place full of
fantasy and magic. Please see attached for episode description and content warnings. Thanks
for listening. Hey, watch out, big guy. That wasn't very nice
of me. Oh my god, why can't I stop talking? Man?
That alcohol must have really been something strong, like eighty proof or something.
I almost told those god guys everything. Thank god Taylor stepped in. I
should really thank her for that. I guess it's good. We want to
all those networking events together. Hopefully the rest of the group is getting information
around the cloud to go with that lead about a web developer. We've been
very busy today with onboarding, meeting professional fizzle bang, and now with these
mercenaries. I think I think we need to renegotiate our contracts to include hazardpay.
Okay, I think I seem to be so bring up. Now,
that's good, Okay, I think I can go back out there now.
Welcome to Overworked and Underplayed, a D and D podcast. Four young professionals
buy young Professionals. I am your district Manager Alex Capps. And today's ice
breaker is what is your favorite in universe podcast? Hi? I'm Tyler.
I play Bentley, the IT Paladin, and Bentley's favorite podcast is Fake Doctors,
Real Friends, a cool podcast with the people from Scrubs where they watch
their episodes and I love that they're actually real life friends. Cool. Tyler
likes coworker friends. Tyler does Bentley does. I actually don't have any friends
that I used to work with that I still talk to. Hey, I'm
Marjorie. I play Amy An, a basic b rouff and tumble human fighter.
She has a freshly minted dentistry degree. Her favorite podcast would be Dental
Damn Dames. It's a great podcast, full of lots of dental uh,
you know, intrigue and mystery in history. It's great. You should check
it out. What Up? It's your boy. Marcel Hardy playing Richard Cox,
a human consultant turned haffling bard who holy believes it's better to be lucky
than to be good, but it's best to be both. And Richard's favorite
podcast is star Talk, and he listens to it on his way to work.
He was running late the day that all of this happened, and so
he missed the intro, and that also just happens to be the day that
he heard a guest on the podcast talk about the theory that how the moon
is a megastructure. And since he everything was delayed, he also missed the
end of the podcast, so he doesn't know how that went. So conspiracy
theory, right, he said, Wow, they talked about it on Star
talk O. Hi. My name is Katie, and I played Chris Stall.
She's a drought druid and she's the owner of her very own MLM,
Crystal Clarity, and her favorite podcast is Boss Babes. The premise is that
it is a bunch of boss babes that get on there and discuss the pros
and cons of working for yourself and developing your own multi level marketing company.
I'm Kyle. I played Jimmy Sticks. He is a known artificer. His
favorite podcast is Around the Assholes, a podcast about people that are not very
nice. Oh my god, what do they talk about on Around the Assholes?
Shit? They just talk shit, Okay, talk about shitty people very
Oh my gosh, that's really awesome. Old Hi, I'm Adeline Hardy.
I played Taylor Jacobs. She is a centaur Barbarian with a heart of goals.
By day, she is a marketing well in night too, she works
all the time. Is a marketing coordinator and her favorite podcast is called Women
at Work. It's a Harvard Business review podcast and just talks about how women
can deal with gender discrimination. It's a very good podcast. Highly recommend hey
listeners. This show is made possible by the support of our awesome patrons.
In addition to a thank you for their support, our patrons get an ad
free listening experience and access to exclusive bonus content. In the weeks between episodes,
our patrons are getting an extra show where we recap episodes and talk about
some of our favorite moments. For more details about what you can get by
supporting us on Patreon, check us out at patreon dot com slash own Up
Pod. When we last left off, you guys had managed to get the
smallest amount of information possible from the Goths while also avoiding what we would say
a physical altercation. But there was some physical contact, but you guys managed
to do it in one piece, and you are now still at the fountain
Head five feet from where you began, and true in d fashion, what
time is it? We'll say it's like eight eight thirty. Can we get
drunk? Sure, we're gonna go back to the Crow's Nest, Okay,
to some laundry and get drunk. Yeah, so you guys are able to
make it back across town with very little issue. When you guys show back
up at the Crow's Nest, you find it a much livelier place than you
remember the last time you were there. The entire floor is pretty much full
of what looks like various fishermen and seafaring types, like you know, drinking
ale and having some basic foods of like breads and cheeses and stuff. And
you see the captains sitting at the piano just banging away on the keys like
full on, like Billy Joel style, like going ham. What do you
guys do? I start singing along to Uptown Girl. Hey, guys,
before we get into you know, whatever this is about to be, why
don't we get a little more organized? Amien great arm wrestling. Oh that
was awesome. He just kicked his ass. So what could we do maybe
next time to make that of smoother process to get information? Well? I
feel like, Richard, maybe you shouldn't drink just what everybody hands you.
I don't know exactly what hell are there, but it just seems like he
just handed you something. I think he said it was sylphuric acid accidentally,
right at first, well that's not the thing that I drank, But then
you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, So I feel like maybe we
can have some kind of buddy system in the future or something, you know,
because so you're looking pretty pale there. Yeah, dearly, No,
did he the person who just shoveled back like twenty bowls of soup? I
just said, this is Tyler saying this. He must have grown up in
a good neighborhood because he was never taught enough to take candy for stringers.
Stranger. Wasn't that a candy? And too, we've already been introduced,
so he wasn't a stranger? Oh good? What else can we improve?
I think you guys should let me talk more, because clearly the reason we
failed so hard is because nobody was listening to me. I concur Crystal,
that is so what a great point you're making. Yes, you have the
floor that was all is gonna look over at Jim and be like, I
feel like we should just not do what they're doing and we'll be fine.
I think we did great. Yeah, absolute whin yeah, just between us,
though you can't you'll hear this. So Bentley want to go to the
bar. Bentley thinks about it for a second and then just decides, you
know what, fuck it, let's go. All right, Taylor wants to
go to She's like, oh, where are you going? Is there anyone
interesting at the bar? Not? Really, So there's no one interesting at
all of this. You realized that, like like there was a smell that
hits you when you came in and you realize it's the people. Ah,
well, this is the cheapest hotel in town. This is the Motel four,
you know. I guess. Bentley just pays for a couple of drinks,
has a couple of drinks, and then it's like, all right,
I'm gonna dip out early good night and goes to bed. Taylor's gonna try
her best her small talk with Jimmy Bentley did try eat Rice? All right?
What is how does she start? Hey Bentley, you like video games,
don't you? Yeah? Sometimes, miss Jacobs, you can just call
me to what a video what video games do you like? Bitley's gonna like
look for Jimmothy be like, ah, we play Neo pits together. Did
you also, like, do you still have Tamagotchi's too? All the batteries
died and then we had to bear him in the backyard. Oh that's so
respectful. That's really cool or environmentally inconsiderate, depending on how you look at
it. To have yall played? Oh? What was that? An inten
dogs game? That was a good one. No, I mean we stick
to like the Legends and Hearts of Iron. How do you do you win
that game? Yes? Is there winning game? Hey? Hey, uh
you said you win? I need you to roll a deception check. That's
not a deception. I have more wins and losses this season, So yeah,
I'll pull up my dot gigi. Let's say eight plus charisma eleven.
You think that he probably wins a little bit, But do you think he's
kind of over exaggerating his wins? Oh? Cool, event, Like,
that's so awesome? Do you have you been playing a long time? Bentley
is gonna like start drinking his beer. Jaylor is going to see that as
a signal that she should cut her losses and that wasn't done. Oh okay,
you cut me off. Oh I'm sorry. Are we ever gonna be
friends as characters? If you just cut me off? Bentley is gonna be
like it's getting kind of late, and I feel like we're holding up the
rest of this campaign moving forward. So I think I'm gonna go get some
sleep. Good night, guys, fourth Wall break right there. I love
it. Jimmy, you head into bed too, feel bad. I'm okay
if you want to, if you want to chat, okay, maybe you
just probably twenty minutes. All right, what are you into? What do
you do outside of work? Yeah? It's so good? Right, Yeah,
I like it a lot? So Addischanel is so good in it?
Yeah, she's one of the few people that can pull up bangs like that.
Yeah. I like that. They took it from like Manny, what
is it? Manic Pixie dream girl and made her more like assertive toward the
sherew as a person. Yes, exactly. It's a good show. She's
an icon sometimes a New Girl podcast, Welcome to Welcome to our show.
Okay, so imagine we talk about New Girl for twenty minutes and then we
cool. Well, it was nice talking to you, I'm gonna go to
bed, Okay, could I Timothy and sleep? So before wants to take
a look at the map that we got from onboarding earlier. Today, he
wants to go up to one of the wizard terminal. Guys, he's gonna
like take his like Bluegle badge and got to swipe it like it's an r
F I D things like hey, Bluegle. So so you approach the Bluegle
terminal and he looks at you and he says, hello, I am Bluegele
node six one eight five three. How can I help you today? And
you notice as he's like looking at his hand like it's all written out on
his hand, like what he's supposed to say. My question is how many
libraries are in the city? Query how many libraries are in the city?
Thinking there are eighteen public available libraries in the city. Are any of them
open twenty four hours? Thinking no, most are open from daylight to dusk.
Okay, thank you? Would you like a map of their locations?
Yes? Please? And you hear like what's sounds like printer noises and he
just opens his mouth and it's like a receipt paper comes out and he hands
it to you. It is completely dry, okay, perfect years and like,
okay, now when he sees that it's like actually dry, he's like,
okay, cool. Does he bite it to like yeah, sure that
was my thinking exactly. He's like, he's like, trans mutation is sometimes
painful. You get that paper cut, it's dummy internal or so, just
as my player reference. Did that count? Is two of my check marks?
Yeah? That one and what's two? Okay? Yeah? He holds
his hand out for like payment, and you like present your card and it
makes like a beep when it goes over his hand. That is two of
your three uses of your free Bluegle services today. Thank you, sir.
Can I help you with anything else? He just sicks his head. No.
One kind of walks away. Have a Bluegle day. You don't respond,
tragic? Do you say good body or laptop? Google home? Thank
you? Kas the inevitable rubot uprising. Yep, it's just a good manner,
thank you. Yeah. I subscribed to the mindset of the I mindset
of the only The smartest thing I have in the house is a printer,
and I keep a gun next to it. It starts making a weird noise.
Oh, good. It's fair just round Swansea. Um So, Crystal
definitely didn't go to sleep. I think she wanted to see what Richard was
going to do, um just for curiosity. And she sees him using the
Bluegle terminal and she was like, man, that's useful information because she totally
forgot that Bluegle existed. And um so, then she wants to go up
to and then she wants to start researching the cults of Okay, Clary,
so really quick? Were you trying to be sneaky? No? I don't
think so. Okay. Um So, Richard, you would see Crystal approaching
the Bluegel terminal as you're like leaving hello. As you approach, he does
the same thing. He looks at his hand at some writing on it.
It's like, hello, I'm Bluegel terminal six one eight five three. What
can I help you with today? Hi? Thank you. I would like
to know about this Crystal Church of Clarity impostor query Church of Clarity thinking.
The information I have is that the Church of Clarity was founded three years ago
by one high Priestess Crystal. Do you have an image of Crystal that you
can give me? Thinking? No publicly available image exists. All images are
disputed copyright of the Church of Clarity. Damn. Okay, then how about
do you have locations, maps and locations of where the Churches of Clarity are
located in this city? Thinking, and you hear, like the printer,
thing starts spitting out in like seat paper comes out of his mouth basically,
and it has like a spot in the Grand Bazaar, and he tears it
off. He says, according to this, the Church of Clarity is setting
up a semi annual sale at the Grand Bazaar. Then he gives you the
date and the time and everything and hands it to you, and then like
another thing starts coming out and he rips it off. He says, here
is a twenty five percent off coupon if you purchase three or more things.
But I would never put my stuff on sale like that. That is devaluing
to the value of my brand. Like I cannot. She just goes on
full like rant. She snatches all of the things from the guy, and
she just walks away, not closing out, not doing anything. She just
snatch. As you look at the coupon, you see where it lists like
the information about the Church of Clarity. It's specifically Crystal, and as you
look close, you see the Instagram symbol and you see your Instagram handle.
What the fuck? I'm so angry. I see that, and I am
like, how does that? How does she have my Instagram information? I
don't even like she can't have my login, So, like I'm trying to
I'm trying to like rationalize how she because like the core problem is I'm trying
to figure out how she got my identity and how, like how and like,
I know that my phone is missing, and I know that the only
log in that I had was on my phone and on my iPad, and
those are the only two places where my login would be. So I'm starting
to get the vibe that she has my phone. Yeah, and the screen
like the only way to unlock her phone is by using her face. So
she's getting like she's like, I don't understand, don't don't think too hard.
You've been drinking a lot, you know. You know. The really
funny thing about that would be that because you're you don't look like you did
in the real world, even if you had your phone, you wouldn't be
able to unlock you. That is big brain, isn't it. Yeah?
I actually just thought about that. I was like, that'd have like secondary
ways to look into your true like I can log in with my actual pass
which I remember. But like I'm saying, like no one else would be
able to unless it looked like the old me. It just one. Yeah,
all right, So is anybody else doing anything before y'all go to sleep
or no? Amy Anne just went straight up to bed. Good night,
guys. Yes, all right, so good news. No one attacks you
in the middle of the night. You guys, get like an actual full
eight nine hours of sleep whatever it is you're wanting, twelve twelve, I'll
take four. I love, Like, does it need twelve hours? Yeah,
she'll that's like three long rests for an elf. Got the beauty sleep.
Yeah. See, you guys wake up the next morning fully refreshed.
And as you come downstairs, you see that they're is there's some warm bread
at the bar. The captain is holding what appears to be some rudimentary ice
pack to his head and is sitting there drinking the boom juice and eating some
bread. And you see as there's like at least ten passed out people just
asleep on tables across the bar, is still smell like terrible. Oh yeah,
it smells awful. Oh yeah, oh it must have had a party
last night. M don't we miss it. We didn't. We walked right
through it. Are we able to go get some bread? Yeah? Yeah,
he's just like whatever, have whatever you want. I'm going to get
me some bread. So her still season opportunity. She has an essential oil
that is called like um mental clarity, and it is designed for it's a
hangover. Here. Is this one of the ones you had in your inventory?
No? Okay, this is one that um is really big sick,
and it's like stuff she could grab. It's not really like a massive secret.
It's literally just a it's just polite, polite with an ibuprofen ground up
into it. Somebody write that down. I just mix BC powder and pediolate
together, ibuprofen, caffeine and electrolites. Oh god, it's bloody mary Um.
Anyway, So that so she is gonna start peddling her wares that she
because she does have a basic knowledge of essential oils, and she would be
able to concoct a hangover care pretty easily. Okay, You notice that there
is a small apothecary shop nearby, and you go and you pick up a
few items, okay, And so you sit down and as you're doing it,
you don't realize your hands are glowing like you're just doing your thing.
And you produce ten small containers of this oil and it is going to have
the same effect as the spell good Berry. So consuming one restores one hit
point. The actual spell says it is enough nourishment to sustain you for one
day. It's more like it just makes you not die for one day,
but basically made like medieval ibuprofen. Love it, okay. So she takes
it up to the captain and she's like, hey, I think I have
something that could totally solve all of your problems. All you gotta do is
sign up for a my newsletter and you gotta give me all your contact information
and I'll push out information to you moving forward. He just looks at you
and he's like, and this will make this headache go away. It will
make all of the headache go away. Tell you what if this will make
the headache go away, your room for the next two nights is free.
And he takes it and throws it back. About five seconds later, you
see as life is like restored in his face and he's like, oh my
god, that worked. She's a witch. Oh my god. He's like,
no, no, no, that's a good thing. Oh I had
no idea you were you were so useful. Oh yeah, Um, well
you know, I'm I'm a lot more than just useful. All of my
products they come with a crystal club clarity, and she like actually fumbles it.
She's like a club clarity, UM guarantee. Um, all you gotta
do is tell your friends and like, um, if you'll pass on five
of your closest friends contact information, you can have as many of these as
you want. He turns to his bartender and snaps and he's like, pulled
together some of the information from some of those fishermen. I know they could
use some of this stuff. This is like a totally different market than crystals.
Instead of like the hashtag fit mom movement, she's just literally blue collar.
Yeah. She basically invented Goody's powder. Whatever works right now. She's
desperate, so she'll take it, and she like her goal is like to
start putting out like a newsletter, and so she takes their contact information and
she starts building slowly but early, rebuilt, reclaiming her identity. Okay,
essentially like building an email list. Yeah, pretty much. About the time
you wrap up with the Captain, you hear the door fly open, and
as you all turned to look, you see a very familiar, very short
face, and he says, wonderful, I finally found you all. We
must leave immediately. It's Felix fizzlebang. But we don't have any supplies.
I took care of all the arrangements. I have the cart, I have
the horses, which I guess I didn't need. I forgot I didn't need
as many as I thought. I have provisions. Taylor doesn't know why.
Yeah, horse joke. I have tints. But we must leave immediately.
I'll explain in the cot. Okay, I grabbed two more pieces of bread
because I'm selfish, and then I just follow you my question. It's a
planner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crystal ignores the blood bread because she's
gluten free. Uh checks out. Yes, Taylor's a little wary that there's
a sense of urgency. I'll explain in the cot. I promise give us
like a summary, like a five second summary. Someone else might discover the
Great Oar and steal all of my work. Let's go to pant, so
let's go. Yes, it will heavily impact your ability to accomplish your goals.
Everyone in the cot immediately we are on an adventure, goes with him
and jumps on the coolest looking horse. Are we gonna have a travel montage?
Now? Travel montage? No need to take this off line overworked and
underplayed. Will circle back after these messages. You guys all pile in.
As you're exiting through the stars gate, you look and you see there's this
massive crowd gathered in the Great Bazaar, and you hear a faint cheer at
some sort of stage, kind of far away. I need everyone to make
a perception check. All right, Bentley seventeen, okay, Amen, five,
all right? Crystal six okay, Taylor twelve, Richard got a fourteen?
Okay sixteen or Jimmy okay. So everyone who got above a ten would
hear in the background Crystal, Crystal, Crystal, Crystal. And those of
you who got above a fifteen would see walking out on stage what appears to
be Crystal as she was in the boardroom when you guys were in there earlier.
Ben's gonna look around and see if anyone else is seen the ship and
you guys see as she steps out, she hoists something over her head and
it appears to be an iPhone. I don't see it, and Katie's upset
about it. So who all saw it? That would be who all got
above A fifteen? Jimmy and Bentley. Yeah, Crystal, is that is
that your phone? She's able to see it. I want you to try
again and hander this. Yeah, that's gonna be a sixteen. You see
you holding your phone above your head? What Crystal? I don't know how
to tell you this, but you just saw your doppelgator. That means you're
gonna die? What? Like her voice like breaks out of the Crystal voice.
What I mean? What don't you saying if you see your doppelganger,
you're gonna die? Um? I choose not to believe in superstition. I
believe in the good great works of essential oils and nothing else. Um,
but oh my god, what the hell? As you're witnessing this and you're
kind of in shock, you hear a voice that is not yours come out
of this person, as they say, is everyone ready to get jazzed?
What the hell? I hate it so much? Everyone knows that all of
my clarity. Products have clarity in the end, and I do not understand
why this bitch is ripping me off. I am about to go over there
and take my fucking phone. What is happening? I'm like she art part
has been unleashed, and Crystal immediately tries to get out of the cart.
And I don't know if anybody wants to start already outside the cart right wing?
All right, Taylor's going where you're going? That sounds like Felix.
Felix turns and goes, what the hell are you doing? We have to
go. This is my livelihood, this is my identity, and this bitch
is sealing everything that I have. I am getting my phone back. He
turns and he looks at all of you. He says, listen to me
right now. This could be your only way of going home. Up the
brakes. I want to challenge her hopping out of the cart, And I'm
not sure if you're going to use reason because I think she's past that or
force. She already is she already out of the car. She's attempting to
jump out of the cart. So do we all see this happening? Yes,
you guys will all be aware. I think we should probably stick with
you. I'm going to okay, do you want to assist amy An in
trying to hold her? So you're gonna like grab her ankles. My plan
was a zip tire. Okay, so you can do that once she is
like grabbed, if that makes still hold her down, So you roll at
each twenty Jimmy got you what'd you get? Sixteen? Okay? So that
means that amy An will have advantage on this grapple check. Gonna be an
opposed athletic versus Crystal's dexterity or athletics. Oh dear, you have advantage,
so you can reroll and take the highest ten. No, no, you
just barely. It was a literal night. Oh wonderful. So so Jimmy
grabs Crystal's ankles and and Amien wraps her up, and it's like you're not
going anywhere, but you smell really nice. She just sniffs your hair like
she does a full Biden like, oh god, she stopped struggling for just
a fraction of its Thanks, it's my am I clarify. Okay, So
in that moment where she stopped struggling, you're able to restrain her further and
Jimmy pulls out the zip ties. You had twenty to start with. How
many do you think I still have twenty three? Okay, you have twenty
three. How many do you think it will take you to secure Crystal four?
Okay, so mark those down. Well, Richard is knocking another human
try and I'm all about stopping her from getting off this thing. But Richard's
anti zip time. Bentley is gonna be like, wait, just let him
zip tire once we're out of the city and she can't run away. Put
your hands off me. I thought we were friends, Amien with higher life
flashing before my fucking eyes. If we get home, this won't matter.
If datters now, I won't have my phone when we get home. You
can get a new one, Crystal. It's a great same, hey,
Taylor, YEA. One thing you would have noticed because Crystal freaking out is
you would have seen several of the marketing banners that you had been working on
being used on that stage. Ripping those fuckers. Oh they're on the st
Yeah, they're they're like and there's a it's like hundred feet away and there
is a huge crowd of people between you and the stage. Uh. Yeah,
she's gonna run. I don't know. You can't really run over there
like that. There's a have you ever been skirt of crowd? Especially if
she's rushing. There's no skirting this crowd. We're talking like Queen playing at
Wimbledon type crowd, Like how it packed in they are, It's basically a
sea of people. So you're saying that she couldn't get behind the stage.
No, And Felix turns around the cart and he says, all of you
do not understand the seriousness of our mission. I was promised professionals. I
feel like I understand because I'm not trying to run away. Yeah, no,
I'm I understand. He says, Now why you all will be able
to resolve whatever the hell this is when you get back. But right now,
we have to stay focused. Taylor, here's the wisdom, and that
looks at Crystal and is saying, we're gonna burn that fucking to the ground.
I like it. So you guys have all decided to carry on?
Yep? Okay, Crystal, can we are yours not decided to carry on?
Okay? We need to keep it tied up, guys gonna kind of
all right, I mean, hug you and I'll try and like, okay,
make this peaceful. Look there, Crystal, there is no world in
which we will not bring that empire crushing to the ground. I'm not okay
with this, No, and you shouldn't be. It's your intellectual property.
As we've heard here, it's worse than murder. There have got to be
ramifications. I'm good, I'm gone. We will do whatever we can to
help you get what is rightfully yours, because that's what I'm paying you guys
for. I thought I thought you were paying them to do your marketing,
Crystal. I'm paying them for my intellectual property. Those banners are mine and
therefore yours exactly. We're gonna get it back, all right. I'm gonna
hold you to that, all right. She's still not okay. If you
wet, she will leave, Okay. So you guys, he's like physal
Bang is just like, good lord, we're all going to die like under
his breath, and then like just carries on its Crystal here though. No,
he's like mumbling to himself because Crystal really wants an explanation as to where
the fun they're going now, So he tells you. He says, Okay,
I promise an explanation. He says, the reason we had to hurry
is that there is another archaeologist who is I got word is landing today.
He wasn't supposed to be here till next week, but a favorable break in
the weather sped up his transit to Trevaria. He has also been researching the
Great Orey, and I feel like your best option to get home is for
us to find it first. He says. Now I know the location,
but it is going to be somewhat treacherous to get into as no one has
made it past the door. But I was told that you lot were very
creative and we're problem solvers. Have you seen the door before? Yes?
What is it? What's it looked like? It's just a big stone door
that has some some carvings into it. Okay, just check Richard pipes up.
So what is it about this other archaeologists that will prevent us from being
able to do anything if he gets there first. Well, he's not working
for Bluegirl. Richard doesn't see a problem with that yet, and he is
one of the official archaeologists of the Empire. Okay, that does sound like
a problem, which means if he figures out how to use it and how
to control the oary. They will use it for purposes of imperial conquest.
Look, I'm no fan of the imperial authority, and it likely does not
bode well for wherever the hell all of you come from. I don't know
the US military. Richard in the back of his mind, he's like,
I mean, they don't seem to have guns. He's like, they have
a twenty two. He's like, he's like, I'm more worried about this
place. This guys don't have oil. The portal opens and like a guy
with like a crossbow pops out and immediately just gets M sixteen. It's like,
we're going in boys, they don't even know we're they're gonna get in
there. He doesn't even get shot by like someone from the military. It's
just something good boy, I don't trust. He wasn't wearing an orange vest.
Ye Oh anyways, So yeah, yes, like Z seventy ones.
It's like, it's like, sir, why why do we care about this
alternate world? We just learned that they have oil. Oh they need freedom,
freedom, We must free them from this evil empire. Uh. Anyways,
So you guys, uh, you travel for about half a day.
Um so this is about noon by the time you would reach this, uh
this, Crystal complaining the entire time, the entire time, she's still tied
up. Not if Richard has anything, She's not tied up anymore. We
untied her as soon as we are far enough away. Do you guys successfully
tied her? Yeah? You tied her. Fuck word, this is different
changed yep, miss Jacobs. I think we did a good job in their
defense. Crystal's player like, there's no way if you didn't tire her up
that she wouldn't have eventually failed from the car. The other alternative was to
be knocked out, and I feel like you probably wouldn't want that either.
I don't know. Second away from this misery concussion job. Yeah yeah.
So so on the way there, Felix turns and he says, miss Crystal,
I'm curious why did you get so upset about the cultists, because that's
my fun. She has stolen my entire identity and I would love to get
it back. That is intellectual property theft, which we have been made very
well aware of the fact that that is the highest level of crime. And
here they are just parading around my entire business model. Wait, wait,
what does a phone? It's a magic brick that can let you make calls
and look up things. It's like a mini handheld bluegel terminal. Amazing,
And they have this of yours they totally do. It's total theft, and
I'm so angry about it. I could just strangle this impost. Plus she
looks like the old version of me, which I don't even look like anymore,
which is wild because no one in this whole world, except for the
group we're in, should know what I looked like. I'd be real with
you. I don't remember what you looked like. Well, that's rude,
he says. This is all quite fascinating. I will fascinating, infuriating,
whatever you want to call it, he says, Well, Miss Crystal,
I assure you that once we have resolved this matter with the Oory, I
will do everything in my power to assist you as long would you mind if,
though, when I helped that I could take a look at this phone
of yours, like I'm curious about this. I mean, as long as
you don't break it, Yeah, sure, okay, or steal it,
but of course not. I would never even stolen once, can I'm gonna
keep that thing on a leash like and uh, he says. He says,
all right, we're approaching the stones, and you guys see as the
terrain turns from grasslands and woods to more rocky terrain, the road itself becomes
more damaged in pothole ridden, and he says, you need to have your
your eyes about you. There are goblins out in this part of the of
the countryside. Were right into some goblins in town the other day. Let's
they make good soup. It seemed to be pretty good to me. I
thought you meant that they made good soup like you can eat goblins. He
lost, and he says as well, the goblins who reside within the walls
of lavron Ah, how you say assimilated, says, the ones that choose
to live out here more of the type to raide you and take your stuff.
Thinking back to American history, Richard asked, well, how long have
the goblins been here? And how long did oh you know them a favor?
We were moving the Lavronians were moving westward, and and they were like,
oh, you guys need the space, We'll just move over here.
No, dar, okay, so are we We've gone half a day to
this point, are you saying, I'm saying like like, we're basically going
to I'm not saying we're fast traveling, but we are. We are moving
to the where he believes the great ore he is and that upon arrival it'll
be about noon. Okay, So he says, well, from here we
go on foot. Excuse me, the grounds a little too unstable for the
cart. Uh huh? And Crystal do you want to ride? Yes,
that's convenient. I was imagining her like I think she would sit sideways with
her arms. Taylor Jacobs is just like just like, don't cry, don't
cry, this is beautiful. So she always so far be friends with the
client. So you notice that these rocks and things are are appeared to be
carved and almost look like stones from like some massive buildings that were in this
area. And as you guys get closer to this what appears to be a
cave, you see a large stone carved door and on it is an inscrip
option. Can we read it? As you get close, you look and
you see the stone door, but just below it, on a pedestal,
you see what appears to be a BlackBerry. Oh we know this technology.
You do. This is the this is the stone tablet of the ancient ones.
Bentley wants to walk over and press the try to turn it on.
Okay, So you you approach it, and you notice that it looks like
it's resting on the terminal, like at about a forty five degree angle.
And as you get closer you realize it's actually carved from the stone. WHOA,
that's really cool and it's all one piece with this pedestal standing in front
of this door. Press the buttons? Does it do anything? So you
press? How many buttons do you press? I just want to press?
Well? Is that I trying to think? On those phones? You to
press the like the hang up phone buttons, that the power button? Yeah,
so yeah, that's what I want to press. Okay, So you
press that and you hear a chime and you see as the letters on the
door illuminate, and what before was some unintelligible script displays a riddle. Okay.
It says, my life can be measured in hours. I only serve
to be devoured slam. I'm quick, fat, I am slow? What
am I a battery? Well you say that, nothing happens. I don't
know why I remember I'd bet it's wrong. My bring is I'm gonna type
battery on the keyboard. Okay, see type battery. Do you hit enter?
Yeah? Okay, So as you hit inner, I need you to
make a dexterity saving thirst one, even my worst one. I rolled a
nineteen, so that comes out to a seventeen. Okay. So you you
manage to like duck out of the way as this happens, but a jet
of flame shoots out of the screen of this of this carved berry, and
you take five points of fire damage. Oh my gosh, Bailey, are
you okay? Yeah? Yeah, I'm fine. And you hear a voice
come over at say you're fired? Oh is fired? You're fired? Was
it sound familiar? No? Not really, So it's not Trump? No,
is it, mister Richardson? Is it? It doesn't sound familiar to
all? Right, Well, I'm guessing that was wrong, and anyone else
want to try it? It typed in what I thought was the answer?
Would you type in battery? Okay? Does anybody want to do any investigation?
Yeah? I want to look around. Same okay, So I need
y'all to make me investigation. Roles Richard got a seventeen okay, amen five.
Okay, so you are pretty sure the doors made out of stone,
Okay, Chard, you find what appears to be like you see some scott
next to the door, and you see what appears to be like below them,
like melted wax. That makes sense. Okay, So I know the
answer to the running alp Um Bentley. You want to try candle or wick
maybe something. There's some wax over heres the fire related and then do you
hit ter Yeah, but he's prepared to dodge if it spits fire. So
so as you hit inter, I need you to make a dexterity saving through.
Oh you're gonna kill me? Uh that is a two. Okay,
So you you go to like duck out of the way. Okay, I'm
only doing this because you said that was your plan. Is basically, if
anything happened, you're gonna hear a noise and you're basically just gonna fall on
your face. But no, like the fire shoots out, but it shoots
straight up instead of into your face, and you see as the stone doors
begin to crack and open. Cool. Wow, great job, Richard.
Yeah, that is much better answer than battery. I was thinking hot pocket.
So he sees Fizzle bank turned, he goes hot pocket. Yeah,
it's food for people who are on the go. I thought it was food
for people with depression. It's food for people who are on the go.
Brought to you by the crispier crust, he says. He says, well,
are you all ready to enter? I'm sure there'll be more things in
our way? Is it dark in their should we light some? So?
Actually, as the doors open, you guys see as some sconces in the
wall just magically light themselves as you guys enter. Okay, okay. As
you enter, you see three doors, and then you see another inscription on
the wall, illuminated in the in the text of the ancients. Was that
comics hands. It says three doors lie before you, and you see there's
a gargoyle head above. Each one says, one statue lies and one always
tells the truth? Is it? The third only tells you what it thinks
you want it to say? Choose wisely, Hi, gargoyles? Hello?
Cool? They do talk? Okay, I've seen this on an episode of
You. I can't remember how that How does it resolve? It? Though?
That out gratitude today keeps the haters away and That's why we want to
thank you for listening to Overworked and Underplayed. You just heard Alex caps as
our dm Anelyn Hardy's Taylor Jacobs. Katie is Crystal two point zero, Marjorie,
It's Amy Ann, Marcel, Hardy is Richard Cox, Tyler as Bentley,
and Kyle as Jimmy Sticks with special guest. Morgan's Crystal. Episodes are
edited by Marcel, and circle Back episodes are edited by Katie. We hope
you enjoyed it, and we'll circle back in two weeks on May fourth for
the next episode. You can help us to get the word out by rating,
reviewing, and subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also follow
us on social at own up pod, That's own Up, p o D,
Subreddit, r slash own up. My life can be measured in hours.
I only serve to be devoured slim, I'm quick, fat, I
am slow? What am I the midnight cinder hook up? What the fuck
is wrong with you? Break us