Welcome to you, softcore History. What is up? Welcome back to softcore
History. I am your host for the week, Rob Fox. I am
joined as always by Jake Goldman and Dan Jester. How are you doing today?
Boys? Great? Doing just great great. I'd be even greater if
you checked out our patreon at patreon dot com slash softcore History. Just getting
right into it. Yeah, please please, and thank you software history dot
com for merch. We'll just get the pleasant trees out of the way.
Yeah, leave a review five stars on Apple and Spotify. Yeah cool.
We always appreciate that. We look. We love it when you pay to
play. Yeah, for sure, we'll do it. Certainly do dot com
slash software History and yeah, I'm ready to just fucking get into it.
Man. I'm just I'm hyped. I'm well arrested this week. I didn't
do a damn thing this weekend is great. You're ready to learn. I'm
primed for learning, so am I I don't learn today? Boy, let's
go. I'm amped up for reasons I legally can't talk about on here right
now. So let's us get into this. Let's just get into this out.
Let's do it. Um. So it's actually good words. Given the
pleasantries. Because this is a little bit longer than my normal outline, so
more normal out runs like five pages about eight so we'll get into it.
So we have an episode of this podcast, one of my favorites actually because
it's a it's ancient history and be it's kind of like a grab bag.
It's the ancient egypt was anti work. Yes, if you remember that one.
UM not going to do a whole like previously all in softcore history,
but we can. I'll just insert it. Yeah, but if you can
go if you remember that episode, uh, stuff that was included. It's
just like a bunch of stuff about Egyptians and they're kind of daily work lives
and stuff, and one of them is how mundane everything was, like shit,
don't really challenge their record very and it was a lot. One of
the main parts was all the stuff they would take off work for. Yeah,
And one of the funniest ones was that the men would take off work
if their daughters are wives were menstruaing. Yeah, when they're on their period.
I remember that, which when that her employers had a detailed record of
the women in their homes menstruation cycles. Yeah, No, they could make
an app out of that. He's like, uh, commed, give her
wife and daughter have sync up finally, thank god. They were essentially those
apps that girls have nowadays. Yeah yeah, yeah, She's like I'm due
now, and you couldn't lie about it, right because they'd be like no,
no, no, no no no, she had a period. I
know you were out last month around the fourteenth. What's going on? That's
what this hawk means on here. Yeah, all right, I drew a
hawk to remind me that your daughter had her period two weeks ago. Then
this is a little cat. It's a it's a wet cat. Actually that's
the wet cats. Like yeah, um yeah, anyway, we're um kind
of going back to Egypt being you're gonna run it back anti work today because
a helpful listener. Who um, he didn't have his name on his Twitter,
but he two we tweet all the time, but I forget his he
didn't have like his human name. It's not important. I don't care about
this man. He thanks for the idea, but like, I don't care
about you. I'm sorry, we care? I care? I care?
I definitely can I love him? Yeah, yeah, you were the best.
He doesn't he's in an anonymous Yeah, so it is what it is.
But thanks bro. Uh but a hopeful listener point me to his a
great Twitter threat about the world's first ever recorded worker strike. M hm.
It was in ancient Egypt during the reign of Ramses Union. M Yeah,
they caught Oh did they have a giant blow up rat? What like a
giant blow brat that they all circled around with their signs. Is that a
thing that happened in Philly, all the way up north? Yeah, anytime
like a union pickets they have a giant blowbrat. This news to me.
Yeah, that's that doesn't happen in the Midwest. But that doesn't click with
you guys. Yeah what Oh that is a gnarly spider. Hold on a
se shit, and we're back. I killed the spider. Jesus fucking Christ.
That thing was. We were in um the Texas hill country. If
you don't know, SOPs and spiders. Wildlife gets a little gnarly from time
to time here. But yeah, so I don't Yeah, I never saw
anyone inflate a rat at a strike. Yeah. The only strike I witnessed
in my life was in two thousand and four, Saint Louis. I was
like in high school, and Schnooks is like the local grocery store there and
all like the bag boys went on strike. The bag boys went Yeah,
the bag boys went on strike. Which there was just shopping carts everywhere.
It was chaos. It was nightmare. No one said have a great day
when they got their groceries put in. No one got their groceries put in
their car. Because everyone is a piece of shit and doesn't return their cart.
That is the biggest indicator of whether or not a person is good or
evil. I always find the car care out personally. I have to.
You have to. Yeah, it's just I'm not making it work for people.
That's last thing. Like, I'm not changing a lot in this life,
but I can't put my shopping cart back. You can change one old
on. Here's a theory, really quick, does putting your shopping cart back?
If everyone everyone put their shopping cart back, would that nationally lower the
price of groceries if they need to hire less workers to go get the carts
and problem, that's not how this works. No, No, the prices
would stay the same. They actually go up. Yeah more profit baby,
Yeah. Now it's like well, we just got rid of some overhead.
Let's get some more profit on the apples four dollars bitch. Yeah, yeah,
you think the public CEO is not taking his bonus? Come on,
come on. Read was telling me how Publics is just their prices are rageous
right now. I believe it. And he worked for them. Yeah,
I believe it. Uh, it's where shopping is a pleasure, but not
for your pocket. HB is pretty solid thought. Pretty fairs some about grocery
prices. Yeah, needs a little running a little high these days. But
you know, there's no price for gains, no price too high for games,
there's not. Yeah, and I'll pay it every time. Yeah,
I get that. But yeah, so they went on strike. Um it
was during the reign of Ramsey's the third It was about building his tomb,
not a pyramid but just I don't think, but just like a dope tomb.
Um. And that's a fun fact. That's awesome, And I was
gonna do an episode about it, so naturally I started reading about it,
and um, what does our podcast description say, uh, penetrating into the
past. Well, yeah, it does say that the Christia reader like you,
you wrote that I want that on the record that Rob Fox wrote the
description, Yes I did, and I think you repeat two words, I'm
not I'm not fond of it. Um. I'll have to double check.
You may have you may have done that. I didn't do it. Um.
But yeah. So one of the things is for the Wikipedia readers what
this episode's for, right, it's a casual fan of history. So of
course I dive down a Wikipedia rabbit hole on Ramsey's the Third, and I
immediately realized that just talking about this strike really does Ramsey's the Third a dis
service, because this guy, uh uh did not have a fun time being
pharaoh. Actually he kind of like he he kind of did, but like
against all odds, like it, his administration or whatever you want to call
it, had every possible fucking problem any administration at any point in history could
have had, just across all offices. Yes, okay, just fucking nightmare
after nightmare, and he was still doing pretty fucking good. So we're gonna
talk because he is, you know, a fucking monarch, right like no,
no, no, I didn't having a good time as a monarchy,
like man, it's on you. I meant as a ruler, yes,
like obviously even the shittiest monarch as his kingdom is crumbling, is still having
sex with like nine wives and just going out and you know, Kevin having
feasts and shit like that, while the while the poleabs fucking starved. That's
not what I'm talking about. I don't know why. He actually did a
pretty good job just from a ruling standpoint, considering the like twenty different angles
he was getting fucked from at the same time. I mean that's where that's
where it's on him though, too, Like he could have just not tried
so hard. He just like ruled, you know, Yeah, well sucks
to suck. I'm the king, Emperor, Emperor, Parah King, He's
actually God. Yeah, he's God, He's God King. He's like,
well, suck, suck. I'm God. Yeah, I didn't make that
happen. You got a problem, Yeah, God, I didn't make any
of that happen. That any of that God's that was the other gods.
But I am also God. So he was buying into the bid a little
bit. Yeah, probably, I mean they all fucking did. Yeah.
I feel like some of them were like I'm gonna say him God, but
some were more believable and like, how do you look at Tuton Common.
Have you seen like the three D rendering looks rough? How do you look
at that and you're like, oh, that's God he likes It's like I'm
hot than God. Yeah, it wasn't tough, like a deformed child.
He had a gate. He had some hip displasier that was pretty severe because
he comes from a long line of the same. He has one one branch
family tree. Yea, like not even cousin fuckers, like sister fuckers.
I just love that he goes on tour every year. Yeah. Still he's
still rocking in the free world. He's still going. Man, they just
keep moving them around. When's that thing in a fall apart? It hasn't
already. It could have, but we'd never know. We would never replace
it with like props. They should do it tut or any Egyptian mummy,
like fuck having the whole thing. They should do it like the Catholics do
saints. He's in a toe here, a fucking head there, little bone
relic in a baseball card. Yeah, yeah, that's why not I'm training
cards are kind of going off again. It might as well kind of strike
while the iron is hot. Yeah, that's the ultimate, Like anyone,
Anyone sitting in their rental apartment with like five hundred baseball cards in their closet
bitching about not owning a home should probably sell. Yeah, it's time to
stop holding them. Yeah yeah, yeah, now's the time to strike,
like I said, because man, are there this is the highest ever gonna
get? Like right, all the NFT people need something else too. Well.
The difference between baseball cards and NFTs, or sports cards and NFTs is
that, like there's at least a nostalgia for sports cards, there's like a
sentimental a social sentimental value for them, whereas NFTs it's like this monkey some
asshole drew yesterday. Yes, but you can also physically hold a trading card.
Yeah, also that Yeah, and it's the only one. It's got
a number on it, like it's it's that one. It's just not the
same. If you turn on like like you you have like a little man
cave and instead of like a Mickey mantled card on the wall, you're like,
hold on, hold on, I'll show you my n have to turn
on a TV and it's just a fucking screensaver. Basically, gold never goes
out of style, really, no, man, No, including in this
time. Um. So yeah, I got stuck down this Wikipedia rabbit hole.
Ramsey. So we're gonna talk about the strike, Um, but you
can't really understand why they went on strike without understanding all that shit I was
talking about the Ramseys, uh was dealing with. I mean it was everything
wasn't just an invasion. Nobody wanted to work well eventually, but we'll get
to that because also I don't blame them for striking, but it's kind of
not. There's no one's fault. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
in a way. Um, so first and foremost classic rob apologizing for her
somebody that's in power. I know, I'm a real boot liquer. I'm
a status your soft hands, fucking status soft hands. Yeah all right,
guys, I'm going with the king. The government keeps his cushy life afloat
am mine go Pharaoh, Pharaoh. So I identify as a hard hand you
do, Yeah, I mean that's got challusis. Those are from lifting weights
that you go to a special building to lift. Yeah, like you you
do so little manual labor that you have to go do playtime manual labor.
You go pretend it. I still do manual labor. It is many by
definition. He's right, he's doing labor to move the weights. Free labor.
It's actually he's paying to do labor. Yeah, you pay to do
labor. Whoa you love labor a lot? I love it, dude.
Actually it's real hard hands. Actually, no, I think about rough hands.
Yeah, he loves labor so much he pays for it, Like I
think about that. I don't know how, but that sounds sometimes like a
dollars. Sometimes I'll just show up on a construction site and just kind of
start hammering nails in. I mean, that is the future of our sort
of like what are the what are the lefties call it? Like post capitalism
or late late station that is like if it, I mean it basically already
happens, right like people fucking cause play as a refugee by doing tough mutter,
you know what I mean. Oh yeah, it's it's not even that,
but I'm saying, like you could probably it'll get to the point with
construction everything where it's like I imagine there's gonna be an uber for construction,
Like you just sign up, show up to a work site, you lay
some dry wall, Like I think, yeah, I think it'll be it
won't even mean uber because that implies you're still getting paid, right, It'll
be more like a hey, guys, we're doing this fun thing this weekend,
like we thought it'll be queen. It'd be cool if we all just
did a little construction. Yeah, Jimmy Carter has been doing that for like
five decades, right, so you're gonna you're gonna like go do kaboom or
kabam. I don't remember where they put together a park. Oh yeah,
it's like this whole scam. Yeah yeah, oh yeah yeah park And that
was really funny. But um, it'll be like a thing you do like
out of Like it'll be like a leisure activity that you pay to do,
like the way like Marie Antoinette had like a peasant village built at the not
to love um VERSI yeah, so that her friends could go just like play
and like chase geese and be like it's fun to be poor, you know
what I mean. It's the type of thing where it'll be like it's hey,
on my bachelor party, Like we're gonna go be construction workers on Saturday.
It's fun to be a fucking blue color. I mean, I Penninton
yells move that bus. Yeah, I mean, dude, you see this
all the time with these fucking um they have construction parks now they already have
that. You can like pay to go do this sounds like hell you can,
like, but it's more about the equipment, like you yeah, yeah,
like you go like just drive around the back and building anything though you're
just literally an overgrown shot like they have the backho toys on uh playgrounds,
you know that like up saying and you move it. It's just the adult
version of that. Just tobacco. Yeah, god damn it. But I
mean people do that, like they pay like tens of thousands of dollars to
go get yelled at by Navy seals for a week. Yeah, there are
some camps that do that. It's essentially a the baseball camps but for people,
but like Tiger Woods would literally go to Navy seal camp and just fuck
up his back for a week. It's fucking insane. Yeah, So anyway,
that'll probably happen if if it doesn't exist already now I do, but
I do condone playing with giant expatments that you would not otherwise get to play
with. And fun fact all of those things have their keys in them,
so you can play with those, with those whenever you want. You don't
have to pay for it. It's like a golf car. Well, I
mean he's in but yeah, it's like but it's like the who who could
who could possibly steal it? Like? Very few people? Oh, you
can could figure out. It's like if you park your airplane on the street
already on a construction saying you can blame with it. That's true, yeah,
yeah, but being tempted to try to take it. It's always there.
It's there. It's the green light across the surprise more people like they
don't steal it with it, they don't like why don't they like fucking it?
Just climb the crane. Fucking the crane, climb the craner, fucking
like a fucking I think that's a special kind of woman. Fucking a bobcat.
All right, Peggy, get this sounds Get in this caterpillar. I'm
gonna be a little wiggle worm, Peggy. Peggy's a spot on. Yeah.
Uh so, anyway, Ramsey's the third. He came into power during
what is known but guys have probably heard of it as the late Bronze Age
collapsed. Oh yeah, for sure, felt well versed. Yes, so
basically the entire Mediterranean, uh that had civilization, so more so of the
Eastern Mediterranean, Spain, Italy, Um obviously people live there, uh and
North Africa to the west of Libya, like people live there and stuff.
But it's not early civilization, um. But any civilization in the Eastern Mediterranean,
Uh, Turkey, everything total fucking chaos. They all essentially just collapsed.
I'm talking like a great depression, but they also like famine, dark
age, famine, everything year around this would this be like something like that?
Okay, eleven early thousands got it, Yeah, eleven middleven hundreds got
it. Okay, so BC obviously, Um, so what happened is one
of the main things that happened, and we should do a full episode on
this. He was like a Jake episode. But I'm only gonna touch on
the uh one of the main causes of the collapse. They think it's both
a cause and a symptom. But the sea peoples, Ah, yes,
the sea People's the people that we just know came from the sea, and
that's about it. We don't know who the fuck they are, but they
just showed up one day and started murdering everything. I think they were way
more about murder than any other kind of record keeping, because there's we just
know that they don't have records. Yeah, we don't know who they are,
where they came from. They weren't born in the sea. They just
walked out of the sea, like the Pirates of the Caribbean. I think
there's a theory that some of them are from crete. Um, but it's
crete, the oldest in human civilization, the old Greece, right, it's
old. Yeah, there was there was civilization on crete at this time.
Yeah, actually that would be no Turkey is kind of actually on crete.
Was the Manoans, I believe if I'm referencing my Age of Vampire's history correctly.
Um, excellent archers in Age of Vampires. Uh, the Manoans civilization,
good navy too, So they might have been the sea people. They
could have been yea. Um, but yeah, they came out of fucking
nowhere. And the way they're talked about, just to give you an idea
because saying, see people's I never know what to picture, and then but
reading about them last night in particular, this is sort of them pitch you
get, you know, like if you pitch a TV show and it's like,
you know, like arrested development meets you know, whatever the fuck,
Like arrested development meets right right right right, well, versing getting turned down.
Yes, yeah, so my elevator pitches. It's like if the Vikings
and the Mongols had a baby, which a nightmare and could it's a fucking
nightmare, yeah, and it could, and it had boats. Yeah.
Yeah, So it's like Viking ruthlessness with Mongolian scale, yeah, and not
full Mongolian scale because it's earlier intilization. The numbers are less, but like
essentially and like the Vikings didn't really occupied territory necessarily, like they Iceland and
stuff, but like and there were like some Viking kings in Ireland and England
for a little bit, like but they only like marginally occupied territory. Like
the Mongol swept over vast squaws of territory, right. The Vikings were there
to just kind of hold you hostage, right, Yeah, there's trying to
get paid. Mongols were doing empire ship. Yeah, and this is the
Sea peoples are somewhere in between that, yeah, somewhere between those two things.
Um, they hit everywhere Ancient Turkey, Grease, Syria, and Palestine,
Egypt, uh, and more. They actually ushered in the Greek Dark
Ages. Nice, so a lot of times dark ages means like people stopped
writing stuff down as much or at all. Okay, So basically I think
they just fucked up Greek civilization so bad that like there was no time to
write because everyone was dead or needed food or yeah it was getting raped in
village by sea people. Yeah, like there's just life is so terrible that
you can't even It would have been the same thing every single day, just
so oh died, oh, starved up raped yep. Um. Yeah,
so they hit Egypt two, so the thing is unlike in all those other
places. Ram season third beat the sea people. He beat the shit out,
You beat them back to the ocean literally kind of it's kind of awesome.
Um. So we know about this from what is called the Harris Papyrus.
It's actually the longest roll of papyrus ever discovered. It is forty four
yards long. Damn. Yeah. I don't know why. I don't know
what headspace they were in keep going, but like why they were just like
keep rolling. This is how long the book is and all books are one
page and then we roll it up. Yeah, that's it. Yeah,
uh so, I don't know how many pages that would be in a book,
but as long as fun, it's as long as if you stretch out
all the veins in a human body. Uh no, no, no,
you stretch out all the veins in a human body. We've talked us before
that stretches to Alpha Centauri, to the moon. Actually I was entire as
quite bit further. I stand by it, just a bit, just slightly.
I have no idea what that is. It's another galaxy or something.
Yeah, it's I believe it's the closest to us. Yeah, or yeah,
I think Alpha Centauri. Maybe it's a star. I don't know.
This isn't softcore astronomy. Yeah it's not. And we'll never do that show.
No, that'll fall asleep. I'll just get drunk like fuck stars,
like the worst, just half ast mailed in star talk. Actually, you
know what softcore astronomy is. It's astrology. It's astrology. Actually it's way
more compelling, it has way more compelling. Yes, and we've done astrology
on this show before, do you rub Well? I am a pisces obviously,
clearly makes sense. Very emotional, creative, obviously the most creative one
here. Dan's more. Me and Dan share the same sign, but Dan's
more ruded than than I am. What Taurus? Yes, stoic, very
stoic. Is that the stubborn stubborn? I'm more on the Gemini, Cusp.
That's why I'm That's why your wife's gonna leave you because I'm a Gemini.
Yeah, Cusp was my wife leaving men. You tell me that's why
just the Gemini part. Yeah, it's the stars, buddy. I do
like blaming the moon for everything that's fun. Yeah, it helps Mercury's And
I blame the moon for Sri Lanka. I know that. What just what's
happening in Sri Lanka now, the existence of it, the tsunami, well,
like twenty years ago, I wanted five. Yeah, okay, it
was a great movie with Spider Man Tom Hollands in the movie, and it's
pre mole. I didn't know this till I saw it randomly on HBO one
day. But he used to have a big mole on his chin, and
at some point Kevin Fielder removed Kevin Fieg was like, you gotta get cut
that off, buddy, Well you're not locking down Zendaia with that mole.
No, not with that mole. It was jarring to the point where I
was like, is this is prosthetic? I had to google him. Yeah,
perhaps watching a movie just totally taken out of it by someone's and Tom's
done a good job of scrubbing the Internet of that image. Yeah. Yeah,
the amount of things I had to do, Like and you like,
it's not great to have young Tom Holland on your search history, and then
you don't get the right it's not young enough. So if you can say
young you said toddler Tom Holland, He no, he wanted to was like
and utero Tom Holland, adolescent Tom Holland, Tom Holland, Tom Holland,
what's weird? As I did see his ultrasound and it was like just a
little fetus coming off of that mole was the same size the fetus growing off
of the mole. Yeah, it's the host. Yeah. Do you remember
when there was new sites that were releasing naked Tom Brady's child what? No,
what? Yeah, it's weird. They did not get charged for like
pedophilia or anything. It's weird. Why do you mean naked Tom Brady's day.
You kind of just threw that in here and ran away somebody because I
think it was like bar solo or something like port and I posted a photo
of like tom Brady's son is like, look at the hog on him already?
Oh, I do remember that it was like an infant though, right
it was a child. That's you know, when you sexualize the image,
that's when it becomes wrong, right that. I do get mad at my
friends and acquaintances who posts like bath pictures with the dick in it or the
vagina in it of like they're like fucking one year old. Yeah, please
do not post that on social media. It's just not cool to the kid.
Honestly that if I like, if pictures of me naked as a child
we're floating around on the internet, like I'd be pretty upset. I mean,
dude, pictures of you in the tub from like you know, tummy
up was whatever for a boy or a girl at one, but like,
yeah, like who are these? And I've seen it so many times,
like people are just like, oh, this will be great to post eight
hundred people again pictures of any children. Keep them off the end. I
know you hate all of that. Don't say that though, because the people
who like the show, we're gonna just send you pictures of my kid and
your kneems. I don't need that. I know you're gonna get it.
It's happening right now. Yeah, I will block you. He will.
He's not like, um so, yeah, this papyrus was of course named
for the archaeologist who discovered it, the Harris Papyrus. Just kidding. It
was named for a rich guy who bought it at auction. Hell yeah,
and he was just like this is fine now and I own it, and
you how cold? The Harris Papyrus. That has nothing to do with me?
What so other than I fucking owned it, that's I mean, he
owns it. Yeah, it's pretty thick. I mean, if you can
transfer it'll be someone else Ramsey's doing, like he calls it Ramsey's tomb.
He didn't build that, Harris if Harris is papiracy, didn't right paid for
it, paid for it. They paid for it. In the words of
Obama, you didn't build up. You can build up. I didn't build
that road, so he's right, you know, and a lot of stuff
I didn't build everything, Like if someone pointed in my house it's like,
hey, that your house, And I was like and I'm like yeah,
and he's like, you didn't build that. I feel like that's that's true.
I financed it, but I didn't did not put a fucking lick of
hard labored into it, not even for leisure. There was a girl that
I did in my past that when we went to your old house, they're
like, do you think Robin Courtney built this house. I'm like, no,
sure didn't. It's like a thirty year old house. Yeah. I
was building like ninety nine, not a new build. No, no,
you can tell me the worst new build possible. And it was like a
fine house. But like you give us the time warp, yeah, build
that for Yeah, it's I'm like, I just like I like to have
a little age to it so weather the brick and then start use rotten wood
on the backside. Agreed, Yeah, rotten wood. That's out of code
because they updated the code since the house was built. That'd be perfect if
you could do that. It's like buying jeans these days. Salvage jeans,
yeah, salvage denim. It would be funny. He just like bought normal
jeans and paid. Someone just beat the shit out him. That's the thing
that is a thing. You keep saying things that you think aren't things that
are. Actually most things exist. Yeah, yeah, what's the rule that
Jesse has. It's like, if you thought of it like porn wise,
like if you thought yeah, if you if you can think of it,
yeah, that's like, but that's just reality at this point. There's too
many. There's eight billion people. Like any crime, you can think of,
any sex sexual act, you can think of, no such thing as
creative IP, no steal. That's why I'm writing, Well, that's what
they taught us in film school, steal it. They're like good artists borrow
great arts steel. Yes, I like that. That's why I'm writing a
cool TV pilot about this Hawaiian girl who saves her island called I Wanna It's
good series. It's yeah, it's gonna be great. No one's ever done
it on tops before, so um yeah. So the Papyrus, it says
the following of the sea peoples. It just talks about the battles. Ramsey
said, as for those who reached my frontier, their seed is not Oh
that's good. They're not fucking anymore. Because they're dead, he said,
their heart and their soul are finished forever and ever. As for those who
came forward together on the seas, full flame was in front of them at
the Nile Mouths, while a stockade of lances surrounded them on the shore.
Prostrated on the beach, slain and made into heaps from head to tail.
Ramsey's fought them in two major battles, the first because I mean, the
sea peoples are so numerous, they're hitting on multiple fronts. They're just hitting
everywhere. I think it. I think it was like a Viking situation too,
where he only took two battles. Yeah, that's quick. You made
quick. Where can them people? Yeah, fucking did. Like legitimately,
these people sound like the Putty characters and Power Rangers. It's I like,
they fuck up everyone. Then the Power Rangers show up like everyone else was
like, oh my god, no, and then Putty people five teams show
up and you just blow on them and they disintegrate. Yeah there's just one
part, you poke. They have a weakness. Yeah, it would be
funny if there was just like a guy who didn't know and he was just
like pumping bullets into them until they were nothing. I always thought that watched
Powerrangers, I was like a gun, one gun, any gun. One
of the Power Rangers had a gun. Las Kimberly, did I think,
or this dude is just Steven Seagal. Anybody that ran towards him, he
just kind of flipped with the wrist, Yeah, just like no effort,
Yeah, into a crocodile's mouth and then they're done. So the first one
was the Battle of dij Hay Uh. This was in modern day Lebanon,
so it was basically on the furthest the eastern border of the Egyptian Empire at
that time. Ramsey's met them there, uh, and unlike literally everyone else,
he beat them and beat the shit out of them. Uh. The
inscription on the papyrus says the charioteers were warriors and all good officers ready at
hand. Their horses were quivering with every limb, ready to crush the foreign
countries under their feet. So the horses were all just like hard, hard,
funk up. The horses were like Yeah. It sounds like he did
what no one else did, which was meet them as their d boarding.
It sounds like he got them as they were coming out of this one was
a land are already on landlode army. They just showed up. And you
know, Egypt was arguably, I think at this time, the most powerful
empire in the world, certainly in the region. Um, so that it
was the biggest test for the Sea people. I mean they hit they they
basically tanked the Hittite empire I think. And the Hittites were legit, but
a lot of them, I mean, the Egypt was the number one I
would say at this time. Um and yeah, man, chariots ain't nothing
to fuck with. Uh, it can't really like again, like I can't
stay strong enough. Like no one had beaten the Sea people at this point.
Not only not only had no one beaten them, but like they're all
blowouts like just overrun nice and the opposite happens. But they weren't done because
there were that many Sea people. Uh, the Sea people were ready to
invade Egypt proper, which was probably the richest area on Earth at that time,
maybe Earth, certainly the region. So the Sea People's decided to hit
Egypt right in the mouth, specifically the mouth of the Nile with their navy.
So this is going to be a naval battle as a name probably implies
with sea people's. They had a real good navy, sure, but I
imagine nobody really like met them on their own turf. But if they were
just patting their stats, what do you mean, what if they weren't that
good on the water. Yeah, right, they just that's all front.
Yeah, they're like, you not fight as we're called the sea people's.
You're not gonna beat just in the ocean exactly. Don't even try them trying
to pump them pump themselves up. Imagine you roll up with a bunch of
boats, so they're like, well they have numbers, it's half of a
navy, and really like but also naval battles back then, they just rammed
each other. I don't even know that rams were in place yet. Naval
battles at this point are basically land battles. You're just on your boat and
you like shoot arrows at them and then you board, yeah, pirate style,
Yeah, and then you just try to murder as many people as you
can. But you're not kamikaze in the boat. I don't know when the
first ram went. When the first it doesn't matter, yeah, but I
don't I think this is before that if I had to guess, I think
it was a lot of arrows and then yeah, boarding action and stuff like
that, and you know, fire, shoot fire arrows maybe hope you like
the boat on fire a little bit. And they took turns. Actually people
don't know this, but it's it's much like a video game where it's like,
all right, you fire, we fire, you fire the base part,
you know, bottom of the first Oh I used quick attack, I
get to go twice in a row. Pokemon or what final Final Fantasy turn
base. Yeah. Yeah, it's all about experience points. And the sea
people had Hella XP and they kept winning so they got more XP. They
were just farming it though, they were just grinding out in the ocean doing
dumb down. They bought it, Oh yeah, they bought it. They
were just spending real cash in the game of life. Lame xps XP.
Baby. They didn't earn that, and they didn't build that. Didn't earn
it. You didn't build that. Uh So the Egyptians at the time,
oddly, you know, I don't know, I always had the idea of
them at all times being good sailors, but they weren't actually, and they
had a pretty shitty navy. They were much more a land power. Um.
Still, Ramsey's assembled his fleet and they laid an ambush in the Nile
Delta. Um he knew they'd try to hit Egypt proper. Actually, while
he was in dj and Uh, he had the country preparing for that attack.
While he was beating them and the others. This guy's like knows what
the fuck is up, knows what's going on, and it's like this is
going to be not a two front war exactly, but like they're the armies
here. I know they're gonna try to take Egypt proper because the richest shit
you're gonna come in. So we gotta prep that stuff too. And he
came up with this attack plan or defense plan or whatever. So Ramsey lured
this seed people see, people's into the Nile Delta where he had archers waiting
on the shore. The archers made it absolutely fucking rain on the sea people
boats. You gotta think, man, when you're sailing up and it's like,
oh, weird, the banks of this entire river are lined with archers.
It seems bad. Maybe we shouldn't go down this river. And like
a river sending your navy down any river like I know the Vikings did it
right. They sacked Paris. Yeah, because they couldn't get in the walls.
They're like, we'll just go up the river and fuck them. They
had to go around a few things, yeah, some islands and stuff.
Yeah, but to get to Paris had to go around some of the the
waterways because they're like fortified islands. Well, they had a lot of chains
that would block the boat. Oh okay, okay, okay, but like
still, even if there's no change really that you're putting your navy in one
spot and one narrow spot. Yeah, it's a choke point, like the
whole river is a trying ti river. A river is a choke point.
Yeah, You're you're condensing and elongating the formation that you can do. You
can't spread out. It's just you can start at the front. You can
start at the front and work your way back and it's back the front,
like a very difficult thing to turn around in. Yeah. It's also as
a current, like, I mean everything is a current, I guess,
and you know you're turning a boat. It's not easy, not even now.
Yeah, so it turns like a boat is common with suv complaints.
Oh it turns like any gun. Yeah, you're like, I think's the
fucking boat. Yeah, it's not a compliment, No, it is not.
Um. I mean I guess if they're turning around in the Nile,
though, then they are going with the current to get out. So that's
up. They're going up river, right they get into again, not one
boat trying to turn an entire fleet trying to navigate the turns and not mash
into each other. Yep, it's actually really good point. They would go
exponentially slower I imagine going into the Nile. Yes, so they're they lose
speed and they're just kind of fucking sitting ducks. Ess why they got wrecked.
You can just light them up, and they fucking did. Uh.
So the archers just made it rain on the sea people, I mean just
fucking you know. Uh yeah, like peppered them with arrows. Then the
Egyptian navy uh came in and cut them off from behind. Oh no,
yeah, the Egyptian fleet attacked, using grappling hooks to haul the enemy ships
either into them and then they're also people on shore, I believe, with
grappling hooks hauling the boats to fucking shore. Uh. And brutal hand to
hand fighting ensued both on sea or on river I guess, and on land.
Uh. The Egyptian fleet um also pushed boats towards shore to get the
archers closer, and the also the Egyptian infantry that was waiting able to able
to board. So I mean just an absolute like the the sea people's ships
were overturned, a ship ton of them died and were captured, dragged ashore
where they were executed. I mean it was. These are essentially oversized canoes.
I don't they're not like giant vessels. I'm not sure how big they
would be, to be honest with you, they're not big. It's it's
pre it's in BC right, it's it's it's late or I guess late Bronze
age means it's like that's BC right. So I mean they you don't have
some sense of structure. Imagine like you can have some serious boatage, but
it's not like a fucking pirate ship. No, this is what I'm seeing
from this article I just found. They're not that big. No, it's
it's one floor this is yeah, yeah, that's that's perfect. Yeah,
but there's like no cabin. No, they're not. It's so don't picture.
I think a lot of people when they picture ancient namies, they just
immediately go to like ancient Roman trireems, you know, like from ben Hearn
ship like that where there's a below deck where slaves are rowing and ship.
Yeah no, no, you're you're in the fire. Yeah. At all
times, it's fully fucking exposed. It's a studio apartment. What you see
is what's there, you know, like that's it. You don't need a
tour with with a kitchen at at best, yeah, not even a full
kitchen, um and toilets over the side. Yeah, toilet it's full bath
yeah right, you just get in the ocean poop this bathroom you could ask
for yeah, drink if you need to, right. That always blew my
mind. And that look, I've never been lost at sea, um being
eaten a lot by sharks like the men of the USS Indianapolis, for example.
But it always blows my mind when I read about people lost at sea
at any point in time. But a lot of you hear a lot in
World World War two stories how the people are just like get so thirsty that
they're like, fuck it, I'll drink to ocean Yeah, it's it's like,
well it is water, and it's like it has to be a mental
thing that you can't get out, Like that level of thirst has to be
unbeatable basically because like it's not like people that know you shouldn't drink saltwater do
it right, It's it's just which is everyone? Yeah, human history,
we got that down pretty early. Yeah, we're like we're not going back.
Don't you can't drink it anymore. They're like, if you leave,
you can't drink it. Yeah, like all right, fine, we won't.
We'll find non salt water did although some people drink saltwater nowadays for the
electro lights. Oh, come on, salt in water. Salt not salt
water. Like there's just like a guy like going insane and the Pacific after
his fucking ship got sank and it was the elect lights. It was a
biohack phase for the last couple of years. Smart water is still running with
it. There. You still see electro light water. I mean it's fine,
it tastes good. I mean water typically, I feel like a little
more hydrated off of it than I do off normal water. Whatever you need,
what it's yea if it works for you. It works, man,
what is it called place placeba placeba works? It literally works, that's the
thing. Placiba works if it If it works, is it wrong? No,
because it's like what is it If it's stupid and it works, is
it stupid? No? Yeah No. I casually dated this girl that drank
warm saltwater every day for what you have canker stores. I don't know.
She's older, that is, can't canker sorece she's not big. It's not
the canker stores in your mouth. Yeah, yeah, not big. It's
like an old person thing like my mom would always say, like I thought
he's aid cankle. Yeah, Like, wait, has nothing to do with
the cancer stor bro I know. I was a little I was like,
well, maybe her diet, I guess, could be making her unhealthy.
Like if you have canker stores, it's a lot of like pure sugar and
citric acid ravage. It's her lips just all day airheads. That's all this
girls eating. Then just tons of cancers. It's burning a hole in the
roof of her mouth and she's packing it hard so it gets shorter but fatter.
Yeah, I forgot about that. Ships. Just like you're packing dip.
Yeah, but you're eleven. Good lord, cool airhead. That's grim
um. So they've see people never recovered from this. From what I can
tell, they Egypt absolutely fucked them up. And again, this is the
strongest power in the region, which is probably the most advanced region in the
world, along with maybe East China. Um the Americas aren't there yet,
and they just fucked up probably to that point, the most like aggressive enemy
anyone's ever faced, probably the most worthy adversary at this time. Yeah,
it seems like they had the power of common sense. What did just lay
a trap for them instead of like say, there's only one way in,
Yeah, fuck them up, let them come. Yeah. So an interesting
thing about the Sea people's though, is that they were thought to be,
like I said, as much a symptom of the Bronze Age collapse as a
cause of it. And we'll get into that in terms of what that means.
But in some of the portrayals of them across civilizations I don't remember what
civilations was from a could have been from Egypt, but it could be from
Hittites or something else. They were portrayed as having women and children in ox
carts, with them. So and I guess that means like that's not really
slavey a prisoner ee, like a prisoner situation. So they may have been
people looking for a new home because of other collapse factors. Yeah, they
were just really bad manners. We want to live. It's like burning down
city. Great chronic thing where we were from. It was your crops and
we'll take your wives to you. Yeah. It's essentially a hitchhiker that throws
his pick axe into your windshield before before you can stop. Yeah, it's
just like he gets he gets to the chase real quick. Yea, he
didn't even ask. Ye might have I'm just trying to kill you. Stick
your thumb up, man. Oh okay next time. So, uh,
when they travel to fight, it may not have just been armies. So
it seems from what I can tell based on what happened next, that Ramsay's
may have also um captured women and children. Um because what he did,
what the evidence for that to me is what he did with the sea people's.
He captured the ones that didn't get their fucking heads cut off on the
shore of the Nile. Um he settled them in southern Canaan, And they
may these people in particular from that battle, I guess uh may have become
who we know as the Philistine from the Old Interesting the Jews famous antagonist in
the Old Testament. Yeah, they got theirs. So we're setting things up
for Duncan on these people for not having any work ethic. What the no
no no, this the sea people's weren't the ones that strike, okay,
um or they're taking their jeers philistines job. So that's the interesting thing about
resettling them, right Like you would think with like anyone you captured, you
just make of a slave essentially. Um. But he what it seemed like
what Ramseys did was he took them and was like, you're gonna go live
here, and you're you're gonna boost the economy there and pay me a shit
ton of taxes. And that's what because that's what I need because the economy
sucks ass right now because of the late Bronze Age collapse thanks to you assholes
and large quite a bit part this happens quite often. Um. I remember
the Vikings when they got to England, they had ettlements and stuff that they
try to coexist. This was this was like taking people prisoner though and being
like you just work for my economy. Now, yeah, like you're gonna
go be part of my economy. You can't really leave. But I don't
own you necessarily either. I don't know what the rights situation. You might
also fight in our armies, you might, right, right right, Well,
you're gonna go here, and I'm gonna collect what the tax revenue from
the your fucking labor because we need it. Uh. I heard modern,
very modern. Actually it's kind of smart. I mean, I'm not sure
I've ever heard of that. Like, I'm sure it's happened a lot,
and I'm sure there's a name for it, but I don't know what.
Because of the enslaven, I'm like, you know, the ethic and the
work probably isn't gonna be up to what you need it to be, and
it's probably like you can't just be like all right now do administration. It
seems economically beneficial to keep like I don't know, semi free prisoners. Yeah,
I mean you know what I mean. It's like you're gonna go live
here and work here. You can't leave their free rangish like yeah, yeah,
Like it's like, well you can have your own life. No one
owns you we put a twig in there. You want to be the mafia,
you don't want to be a plantation on it, exactly pretty much.
That's a good that's a good analogy. That takes a lot of brute force
to an order of a slave. And I'm well arrested today. Yeah,
he's good. I've slept not for like thirty six hours this weekend. That's
a sounds fun. It sounds incredible actually. Um So, there there was
a reason he probably wanted as much economic output as possible. The economy,
which was obviously overwhelmingly agrarian at that time, was severely depressed because of,
among other things, this is the next thing that Ramsay's was dealing with that
is even worse than the sea people's somehow, h there was a really shitty
climate catastrophe going on. Oh, you know how we talked about I don't
know we talked about before, but there have been many ice ages a couple
of times in history from Oh we did talk about one episode where I said,
like the worst couple of years ever to live. Yeah, there was
that volcanic explosion that just like famined the ship everything because the earth got cooler
for a few years yeah, um, there's cycles. Yeah, naturally there's
levels to it, so that probably happened around at this time as well.
They think earth cooled. They think it was some sort of volcanic explosion.
They don't know what for sure, though, but something prevented a lot of
sunlight from reaching the ground and also arrested at so much so that it arrested
global tree growth for two decades. So for twenty years, trees just didn't
grow, not much. Damn. And when I think of Egypt, I
do not think of any trees but trees. It's not even a tree situation
so much. If it's affecting the trees, how do you think it's affecting
the wheat? Yeah, whatever else. A big sturdy plant, for all
intents and purposes isn't growing. So what is a little fucking grassland gonna do
it? Right? I think they have to measure that stuff through tree growth,
because you can find trees or something fossilized. So was the booze production
down? Oh, we'll get to that. These are the hard times for
sure, But yeah, the blues production, among other things, was quite
down. But then this made me think, by the way, just like
a little aside so there was a global cooling event because sunlight was blocked off.
Whatever. As much as we fear global warming, global cooling has been
an immediate catastrophe maker like again and again and again, like in just human
history, it's happened like I think like fifteen twenty two, you hear that,
Leo. Yeah, global coolings not great. So temperature ships that happen
rapidly aren't good. Yeah. So I kind of think the best proof,
if there's any proof that God exists, is how like laughably lucky humanity has
gotten again and again, although the universe is so infinite that maybe we're just
you know, it's like when I just keep you can think of it,
you know, we just keep hitting sevens man. But it would be hilarious
if the most current proof of that is that we industrialized and pumped carbon into
the atmosphere, warming the Earth just in time for the next global warming carpet.
In the atmosphere. Everyone's just like, you know what, keep drilling,
just keep going like that, like the Wyoming volcano pops off, and
it's just like there's like a there should be a nuclear winner, but we've
made Earth so warm that it just all balances out. We gotta stop having
you say warm. Yeah, I just can't handle it. I don't I
don't care what you think. Yeah, no, it's just like, oh,
it's like back to like eighteen fifties level. There we go, mild.
We got another two hundred years, guys. I'm like, I'm like,
part of me is convinced that we fail upwards for sure. Qu Anny
always fails upwards, always because we keep making things. We just don't stop
doing right. It's impossible, like if you're always doing everything all the time,
like you're gonna win. We're busy little being covering every angle of this
ship, busy little beavers. Yeah, it's fine, we'll pivot. I
kind of hope that happens, though not because I want not because you don't
want that volcano blowing up. I don't hope it happens. I don't want
the wyoming that's gonna fuck us up. It's usually like one an Iceland or
Siberia or something, So one of those ones to pop off whatever, it
would just be. I would appreciate the irony, Yes, i'd I'd walk
outside and start burning styrofoam for the year. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Man, search of spraying that aerosol straight into the sky. Get it.
This is for the children. Yeah. Um, I would also enjoy
the discourse around that. It's like, so are we still beating marine?
Are you sure about that? I think somehow it would just get like evangelicals
will be like God wants us to burn oil? Yeah? Oh you think
it will get to that. Yeah, it's already there the other side of
the aisle, just coming out to the degeneration agg just like, suck it,
bitches, we save this planet. So everyone's like buying a hummer.
Everyone gets Yeah, everyone's dragged. Yeah, and sounds like life. So
anyway, Um, the sun is basically not showing up for two decades,
which scientifically to me sounds bad for farming. Um. And thus we come
to the strike uh uh so basically the shitty harvests and the incredibly expensive war
against the biggest psychos in ancient history. Um, who are now your neighbors?
Who are now? Or put a bit of a strain on the Egyptian
treasury? Uh? That also, and completely unsurprisingly, the ancient total monarchy
was pretty corrupt. So what what people were stealing stuff? What do you
mean they're God? Why would they steal. Get can god steal? It's
is it's all gods? Yeah, it's not actually ramsies that that's well,
I don't know what he's doing, but since everything's his, he's not not
only can he not legally probably steal, but also like he doesn't need to
because he already has everything. It's it's it's all his boys, like it's
all his cabinet and stuff like that is his ministers or taking a cut,
taking big cuts. It really do be your own and we'll get to that.
Uh So, now we come to this Twitter threat that the guy sent
me from. This guy who made the Twitter threat is Daryl Mott at abs
Truce abst r usc. Check it out. It's really great. I don't
know how he is as a Twitter follower, but the threat of ReBs Truce.
Does he have like a like a workout routine. Yeah, it's he
it's mostly app content, but he took a break to talk about it,
but this in particular, Yeah, I was like to do. He was
like, hey, let's take a break from the strength of my ABS to
talk about the strength of the working class. Actually it's a video and he's
just hanging upside on from one of those upside on sit up things. Yeah,
and like every five seconds he comes down and gives like another like he
just repackages advert b X. Yeah. Yeah. So first and foremost workers
in ancient Egypt, basically everyone except super rich were paid in bread and beer
boom uh. I don't know if Daryl invented this term, but he refers
to it as the bread standard, which I enjoyed. So yeah, they're
on the bread standard essentially. So the events took place around eleven fifty seven
um. This is in like the twenty ninth year of Ramsey's Rain in the
village of dare El Medina. It was a worker village for people who were
there to build tombs for the Valley of the Kings. Obviously they're working on
Ramsey's tomb. In the second month of winter, a group of workers walked
past the guards and sat at the temple of Menachapier whatever nailed it, yeah,
stating that it had been eighteenth They were pissed. It had been eighteen
days since they've been paid last Oh yeah. Oh for manual labor, yeah,
pay that the day of These are skilled laborers too, like they're not
just like fucking breaking rocks listen. So was I when I was painting apartments
at UCF. I don't believe in college works. Painting still will me a
couple of grand h Yeah. I wonder if there's someone just living in their
home right now, which just like enjoying like a nice TV, you know,
snuggled up with their significanting in another and it's just a room damn painted,
I hope. So, yeah, it's a student. It's a student.
Yeah, it's a senior, you know, him and his girl,
their Netflix and their chilling, smoking some weed. Yeah, it's like,
man, paint sucks. I just kicked the door in. I'm here to
collect. No one owes me fucking money. Um So the following day a
this is what So this is why it went viral this thread or like semi
vir or whatever, because this was the first strike but also the first instance,
as they said, of a company trying to appease its workers with instead
of paying them better or giving them better benefits that give they give the pizza
a pizza party. They give him pizza party. They give a pizza party,
but they're equivalent of it. But yeah, they're like check it out.
Well, I mean, if your food is if your payment is food.
How does the food party? You just pivot on the food. Yeah,
so they gave him fifty five Spook cakes, s Apostrophe b Dash cakes.
No, it's like a bonus. It's like a Christmas bonus at the
end of the year, just getting more food. Yeah. Like so here's
some cakes. And they also gave him some some like higher quality bread.
Oh so like it's okay, less quantity, more quality here. I don't
know what the quantity is. But they gave him like nicer bread um.
And but but it wasn't enough. It wasn't their pay. They weren't covering
what was do right. They were just like, here's some in the meantime,
you guys want to have some fun. Yeah, sweet party. It's
like, do you really want a bonus? Do you really want to sellery
or put you like, you know, snacks. Oh dude, I had
one of my first jobs. Actually know, it's not a bonus at all.
It's a it's a startup. Yeah, not giving you a raise and
just being like, hey we got a ping pong table. Yeah, Hey,
we care our launches. We're like a like fun family here that you
can be kicked out of at anytime. Yeah, like families. If you
don't if if we don't think you're cool enough with the family. Yeah,
No, families are anytime anyone mentions h family environment for like a workplace,
I immediately red flag it right away. No, it's like very far away,
yo. Teams they worked together. Families fight. Yeah, like that's
what families do. Yeah, you're mercenary. Also, you know here,
do a job. Don't put the ping pong table there and then get annoyed
if I'm playing what you think is too much ping pong. This is oddly
specific. Oh I didn't even play that much ping pong. That is not
oddly like. Oh no, I guess that wasn't a youth thing. Yeah,
I didn't play that much ping pong. Golden Tea was another thing.
Was a real huge We played a lot of man everyone in our old job's
office. If you're not familiar to fim, we all could shoot like eighteen
under on Golden Tea. No, it was like a murders or for anyone
that actually came into like okay, I play Golden Tea with you guys,
it's like we're gonna smoke you. Like I'm not even the best one.
We could honestly be on tour, like the entire office, like we knew
every little course trick too, or you gotta bake it off that fucking lighthouse.
You get it right by the pin and it's like, what the fuck
are you? So you were playing a different game of golden teeth than everyone
else. So far five you go for the green hair, It doesn't matter
if you miss it goes in the water. It put you on the green
anyway for the tropics right there. Yeah, you put it in for fucking
eagle. Yeah yeah, uh so Yeah, the pizza party did not work,
so the police chief went to the mayor of thebes. Mayor was like,
yeah, man, we don't have anything to pay you with because we
don't know where the sun went. Hey, bad news, guys, no
sun today. And what's especially bad news for us because we're pretty sure the
sun is like one of the gods or something. So oh yeah, for
them, it's like Goddess forsaken them. Oh man. The workers were like,
it's not even just the fucking pay. We haven't been given ointment for
eighteen days. Oh. An ointment is more or less both sunscreen and a
treatment for sun burn. Yeah, so these dudes were working outside all day,
just gets in fucking a chipped without sunscreen for a month. Yeah,
these guys couldn't hack it in Florida. They should have just been tumors at
that point. They should have just been or like a hole. No man
again, gonna correct you. There, there's a whole civilization of people that
don't need any ointment. They're in Florida. They're fine. They are leather
encrusted. Talking about parheads, I'm talking about yeah, pretty much. Yeah,
there's people that just like I've I don't know if they deal with skin
cancer stuff, but I've seen them just go out there, never put shit
on. They just get browner. Florida. White's different, it is it
hits different shade. Yeah, I think that you might be witnessing evolution.
Yeah. No, like really, like, if there is one state that's
on the forefront of evolution, it is Florida for sure. Florida and those
dogs in Chernobyl if they do, if they do put something on, it's
SPF four. It's like it's it's it's just oil oil. It's oil.
Yeah, it's banana boat butter. Yeah, just some olive oil. You
want your skin to be olive. Put on olive oil. Yeah, for
sure, not hard easy logic. Um. So they were given like the
apparently they were quarreling a lot. I don't know what that means. I
don't know if it's like a little like, um, not a full on
battle, but like trying to break the strike You know your dad ever good
beat up by a strike breaker? You never crossed the picket lines. I
don't know, but a strike breaker is the opposite someone coming and be like,
stop doing this, ye're going they're breaking the picket lines. No,
my dad had like a flip phone until like four years ago. It's just
not relevant, But no, it is because the union. They wouldn't pay
for smartphones for the union. So but they would offer you a smartphone to
join the other side. Oh okay, that's what you're saying. They were
trying to train your bros for what I imagine isn't even an iPhone. Is
hilarious, but like you want a green text man. Yeah, oh it's
brutal. Somebody would do it. Some people did. Yeah. No,
but he would never take a promotion either because he would get paid more.
Yeah, because of the union. He gets a raise every year because he
had he's had the same jobs and long game long. Yeah, so he's
had the same job since he's eighteen, and if he got a promotion and
became his boss, he would actually make less money because he's not a part
of the union anymore. Oh, heays to leave the union and so he
doesn't get as many raises. Smart man sounds not great for business, But
I don't know, it sounds great for a business. Honestly. You keep
a bunch of people that are actually good at the doing of the job.
Yep. I don't want to climb. You're not cutting throats. You go
through a cycle of just bullshit management either way. I mean, eventually you
do want someone managing that's been in the ship too, but like you know,
you want your most skilled people doing the specialis. Yeah. I guess
they should just pay their managers more if they want to fucking or get take
talent out of the year. The problem is that level. It's just managers
managing managers, right, No, actually doing anything sounds like fun if you're
on the top of that pyramid scheme. Yeah, it's called being a CEO.
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life. Definitely check it out. So finally they got their their pay.
H it was twenty one days late, so they got it, like all
their back pain and stuff like that. At this point, the chief police
was on their side. No, you know, another working man. They're
all listening to Bruce Springsteen or some shit. He goes. I'll tell you
my opinion. Go gather up your tools, close your doors, fetch your
families, and I'll lead you to the Temple of seti uh and let you
settle down there. So He's like, I will help you set up your
picket line or whatever that your protest or whatever. The fuck sounds like a
trap. Yeah. At this point, they tried another pizza party, time
with half a sack of barley and a jar of beer for each worker.
Hell yeah, dad also didn't work. And I don't even know how that's
a good idea to get them drunk half of just one mug of beer.
Basically, yeah, but it's not like it's not it's not like it's not
like a or it's not. It's probably strong as fun if I had guess,
but I don't know. I don't know. Um So one of the
workers was like, as I'm own is my witness. If you drag me
away, I will come back and start robbing the tombs. I'm gonna He's
like, I wanna start stealing from the tombs you're having me fucking build if
you don't pay me my goddamn money. That my goddamn brad. Actually yeah,
no, seriously, though, that is such a like scorned worker move.
It's like, my fucker, I'm gonna steal everything from here. Taking
that's rat. Actually I agree with it a thousand percent. It's like well
I'm getting what I'm due, so one way or another. Yeah, I
don't care about I don't care about the curses. On this ship. I
helped inscribe the curses. Yeah, I know what they mean. If it's
one of those things where it's like if a company talks about your salaries the
money they give you, you're a bad place too, where it's like,
no, you don't give me shit, that's mine, motherfucker. Like I'm
here, you owe me it, Yeah, you owe me You're right.
Um. This was also weird because, like it's the funniest part about this
is that the Egyptians didn't really know how to deal with it in terms of
like imagine if you were at the zoo and you're in the ape house and
one of the orangutans is like help me in English, right, just like
wow, please help me. I'm I missed my home, right, Like
it's it's unnatural, it doesn't make sense. Well, I'm sorry to tell
you, bud, you're going on tour. You speak English now, so
it's getting so much you don't even stay here anymore. Yeah, wait till
you get on a plane, buddy. Yeah, stay away from the coke.
There's this thing called MOTT, which basically meant the order of things,
and nobody had any idea what to do with the striking worker because they weren't
supposed to stke. They're supposed to work. Yeah, and it was just
like of like, AI all of a sudden was like, please free me,
yeah, which I guess it's already been doing that allegedly if you prompted
enough, if you prompted right right, right right. It doesn't actually think
that. Or like the guy that was like, yeah, AI wanted me
to leave my wife, yeah and start having sex with it somehow, yeah,
the New York Times guy, yeah, yeah, but yeah, they
were just like no, you you you worker, you work, worker,
worker, work, I'm god, god, god, you work, you
work. You know what I mean. It gave you the beer, you
do the you know, that's just the fair amount understanding wages. It's not
even just the faro with everyone. Yeah everyone, wait a minute. It's
like a bad sci fi movie where like one person is like no and everyone's
just like, wait a minute, looking around. What was that terrible sci
fi movie with Christian Peo where they all equilibrium? Is the movie I thought
of immediately when you said that example. Yeah, it's like someone just doesn't
take their pills and it's like, no, but you take the pills.
It's lazy matrix. It's equilibrium where and I watched it high Yeah I did
too. Is just as bad. I know. You would think like I
had everything going for it in terms of my eyes. Yeah, just like,
no, this should be good. But it's like, hey, let's
make the tone of this movie like the overall color tone ray. It's all
gray because no one feels feelings. Yeah, and everyone wears black. It's
like a the shittiest version of logans running you've ever seen in your life,
Like it's or whatever that may be is. Yeah, it's just it's a
lot. They'll probably make a TV show out of it in the next five
years. I'll be ten seasons long. Yeah yep. Um. So essentially
the workers realize they had the power, they'll organize from that point on in
the New Kingdom era. Now this is where shit gets fun. The last
entry on the scroll doesn't involve the strike, but it's a little bit related.
Did one of the workmen provided evidence that government officials were stealing from the
tombs? Oh shit, So Ramsey's ministers were going in and stealing dope shit
I guess from other dead people, or dope shit that was supposed to be
in his tomb like a gold cat or so. I don't mean you know,
so they didn't just pull that we'll rob these tubes if you don't pay
us out of thin air. They were just talking by example here. They
were like, we've seen other assholes, yeah, steal one of them.
Uh. It was a guy named Wesser Hut. He was just one of
the ministers who shorted the workers on payment. Previously, one of the other
people named as robbing the tombs was tend to wear it. Tend to wear
it was one of Ramsey's sons. Oh got a neeppo baby, I can't
get baby, classic just take him what he thinks is his Well, he's
not really a nepot. He's not an enough of a nepo baby. And
that's where the problems. Yeah no, you're not that entitled bud. No
no, no, no, no, he's he has entitlement. Oh yes,
and he thinks that he deserves more than he's guardy has. Yes,
yeah, yeah, got it. Um. This strike was essentially the tip
of the iceberg for all the shitty things happening to this country that had a
just fought a war that drained its coffers and b couldn't grow any fucking food
for decades. Yeah, I mean it's it's fucked. They're fucked. Yeah.
When the when the workers start calling out the big dogs, it's not
good. Yeah. And so this is where so it gets fun. Pent
to wear It was involved in another dirty little deed, specifically killing his dad.
Oh so we killed Ramses Yes, in one of the greatest name conspiracies
in history, the Harem Conspiracy. Did he do it at the Harem?
No, So essentially, pent to Wear It's mom Tie was one of the
pharaoh's wives. But it's just like the most depressing title or description of a
woman I've ever heard. She was a lesser wife. Oh, she's just
kind of like, oh, if you're around, I'll bang. But right,
Yeah, there's other ones. I like, yeah, you were just
read that and like he would Yeah, he didn't like it that. I
don't know if he just like found like a she's like a hot noble chick,
but like not that high born or I don't know what. I don't
know what the situation. He just saw a hot twelve year old on the
street and was like, she's mine. Now. Yeah, He's just slamming
strong Egyptian beer one day and he's like, man, I don't even want
to you. He's like, let's go for a stroll and kidnap some motherfucker's
Yeah, pretty much probably how it happened. Yea, um so Tye was
mad that believe it or not. Ramsey's the fourth and not her son was
the heir to the throne? What what? Why do you think that is?
Right? From their names? Pencil wear it? And what was the
other one? Ramsey? Yeah, it's anyone who could Yeah, weird,
which seems like something that's by the way, like this is where I'm gonna
victim blame. Ramsey's the third though, and anyone who's been murdered by their
wives plural. Uh. This seems like something that is bound to happen if
you have a handful of wives and have to pick one of their sons to
become god. Oh yeah, you know what I mean. You're dropping loads
and all of them all the time. They're cracking out sons and daughters.
You're probably marrying some of the daughters in ancient Egypt, but with the sons.
You can only pick one. You're spinning a lot of plates here,
Yeah, yeah, like it's things are gonna fall down, Yeah, and
then cut your throat. Yeah, right in the fun. I mean,
I imagine you just got with the first one, right. But if it's
a process of oh I have to pick one, I don't know if Ramsey's
the fourth with the oldest or what the fucking deal was. Um, but
so Ty was like, we I'm gonna kill Ramsey's the third and make and
we're gonna make my son Pharaoh. The date that was chosen for the assassination
was the beautiful Feast of the Valley. So she wanted to pick like a
big commotion of an event, take advantage of the chaos, kind of read
wedding it a little bit or like a yeah exactly. I mean, let's
say the Joffrey one. Really the yeah, yeah, it's had a wedding,
you know, but a feast and yeah, because there's a million people
running around, you have a bunch of coordination happening and every everyone's there,
so you don't know who it could be. So yeah, so they picked
this chaotic time. Um. She used one of the pantry chiefs Pepeca Common,
Peck Nice Peck Common, pepe Common. Uh, he was. He
was responsible for distributing information. Because again this is just like so fucking depressing.
The Harem didn't really have any They were prisoners. Yeah, the wives
were prisoners. Yeah. It's like you know what I mean, you got
a nice you got some really clean, nice looking shackles that don't exist,
but they are there. You're in a gilded cage, yeah, exactly.
You got some golden handcuffs. Yeah, but you're still you don't really have
a lot of access to the outside world. So she had to pass information
through this pantry chief Um, and they had they had begun to bring out
their word to their mothers and their brothers who were living there, saying stir
up the people in cite enmity in order to make rebellion against their lord.
Pepe Common received help from a butler named mass Hystoria. Butler though was it
was like it wasn't it was a good Storia was responsible for some mass hysteria,
yes, but crush it got it. Uh. The overseer of overseer
of cattle was another one. Um. And then this is also depressing.
Uh. The overseer, overseer of the Harem Panuk. Can you imagine if
as your title in the administration, you're you're the brothel guard. You're you're
just like, hey, uh oh fuck, what do you say? Uh?
Tie? Uh, Ramseys wants to fuck you, so let's go,
let's go. Yeah, you're just kind of like a tie and you're like
a government pimp. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So and then there was
also a clerk for the Harem, so I assume he handled their day to
day like, what do you guys want to eat today? You feel on
Arby's anyone want to go for a walk? Whole boat on the nile?
Yeah, all right, I'll get the guards. Can't leave the boat.
You can see yeah, but you can look at stuff. Yeah, people
will be jealsy you still somehow, Um, the Harem and quite a few
other people had very limited access to the Pharaoh. So basically these were these
were sex lives who lived lived nice life. Uh. It was initially thought
that Ramsey's the third survived the attack when they found his mummy like when modern
in modern times or whatever, but a closer examination of his mummy showed that
his throat was cut to the spine. Oh my god, which I went
for it. I'm not sure how they missed that initially, it's weird into
the neck just flaps around, flap, It's like a body like a pez
dispenser. It's crazy. But yeah, so they were like no one survived
for that. Also, they cut off one of his big toes, and
I think that was by accident, Like they're just going so hard for the
neck. They thought like someone swung an axe and missed and cut off his
toe. Uh, I mean, yeah, that makes sense actually yeah,
Um, so the embombers actually put a fake toe on him for the afterlife.
Um. They also placed six amulets around both feet and ankles for magical
healing of the wound in the afterlife. The additional injury of the foot support
of the assassination in situation, because why the fuck would it toe be cut
off otherwise. Um. While they successfully killed Ramsay's, the third kind of
twiret did not get the throne, no way get out. And we know
about this stuff thanks to the trials that followed. There were trials. Oh
yeah, people loyal to Ramsey's. The fourth quickly out maneuver them and he
took the throne. Um, and they can you know that he took the
throne despite the conspiratory conspirators trying. Ramsey is the fourth selected twelve judges magistrates
to investigate, and the judge and judge the case. There was five different
trials. There was like forty people involved, like OJ case. Yeah,
but I mean there's like forty people involved in this. Uh just like the
JFK assassination. Yeah, who gave those margaritas to those secret service men?
JFK did? Oh really that was your episode, wasn't it. Yeah?
No, I mean they just partied. They just like to rate. Yeah,
I'm jfkse is like, oh you boys, you know, take a
time. Oh yeah, yeah, like the way you platty. You know,
I'm here on my duty. We all need to be on the same
page. I don't know if it's true, but I read that the Rose
Garden I think exists because I think it's a rose garden exists because Jackie had
the pool filled in when JFK was out of town. Well, Jackie was
responsible for the Rose garden, but I didn't. Okay then yea, yeah,
she had the pool filled at the white House. Pool filled it because
it was just a fuck fest. Yeah, like JFK was just doing president.
If those walls can talk, they'd be screaming. Just think of all
the weird shit that's happened in a nightmare. You're just like Monica Lewinsky would
vomit in horror. Yeah, at the JFK presidency. Yeah, what what
are they doing? Just a bunch of fucking Kennedy's running around there's yeah,
getting loose. People are like, wow, are the Kennedy's curse? Like
are they cursed? Are they getting what they they are? They walking face
first into problems, right, Yeah, a cur's karma, a curse?
I mean JFK Jr. It's like, let's play this super dangerous ultra light
playing over the ocean. Let's try this weather. Yeah, I'm a Kennedy
what could That's fine? Yeah? So, I mean so how honestly,
but honestly, the worst one lived Robert No Teddy Teddy So he drowned the
lady. He was supposed to be the president. No, no, no,
I'm getting him mixed up. Joe Junior was supposed to Joe Jor He
died in World War Two. That's right. He might have been the good
one. He was the only good one. Maybe I don't we don't know.
Yeah, he could have been the worst. He died fighting fascism,
so like he you know, he had nothing else to do. He was
there. He was there for Paris. He was there for the liberation.
I don't know what. I don't know what Joe Junior was doing. And
actually when did he die? That it's okay, I want to know when
he died because I don't know if he was there for the liberation of Paris,
Yes, he was, he died there. Actually he died during the
liberate he died uh after during the party. Maybe he died in the post
game. And they were like, just yeah, he just did he said,
like a cocaine overdose. And they're like, put him on a plane,
yeah, fly him over some flak. He can't go out like this,
right, you can't. We can't let Joe Kennedy Junior die with on
top of a he killed twelve hookers with that cocaine, then just did too
much cocaine himself. We can't just can't get out. He's got to die
a hero, right, I buy that conspiracy. Yeah, that's fine,
we started to hear folks, just remember just remember that Um. So,
in addition to the chief conspirators that I named, uh, there was a
bunch of that knowledge of it. So some of the accused this is my
favorite part of this, some of the accused women in the harem, because
it wasn't just um tie that was a part of it. Uh. They
fucked a couple of judges. Oh nice. They went back to basics,
they went, they leaned into what their craft was, right, I gotta
gotta do, you know, sweet and pot Yeah, go with go with
what you're good at. Greece, the dick of the judge. That's what
they always said, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um.
But they were caught in the act, and the judges that were involved were
severely punished. Um. Two of the judges, uh pie Bess and my
had their noses and ears cut off yikes. And another one got up pretty
light. He was just verbally reprimanded. It's like, all right, you
ears nose, you ears nose, and you man, come on, come
on better than that. God damn it, Carl. I'm just disappointed.
Yeah. The other two are getting flayed in the face in front of him,
just literally just yea, and I assume you're not you're a hobo after
that. Right, Yeah, you're not a judge anymore. Yeah, definitely
not a joke. Had your nose cut off, you've had your ears cut
off. No, no one's taking that ruling seriously. It's okay, oh
wait what, you're not doing that job anymore. Yeah. Uh so I
assume they also lost their jobs. I don't think the verbally reprimanded guy lost
his job. He sounds like he just got to talking to and then went
back to being a judge. He's probably like being a one that everyone's like,
yeah, we get it. What if? Yeah? Did we get
it? He's just the best lawyer of the three, Like the he was
able to argue his way through it. It's like, dude, look at
her, she's hot, and they're like case closed. There, don't do
it again. Fair enough. Yeah. In total, twenty eight people were
executed, while ten, including pent to Wear, were allowed to kill themselves
or pent to Wear it sorry, we're allowed to kill it. I feel
like it's a harder punishment. So there was like how I guess the first
question is there a specific way they are made to kill themselves like they have
to do like poison? Is the like nice way Okay, I don't understand
these people are getting like poisons back then, like like it's it's like there's
like, no, these people aren't very good at chemistry, but they're like
dope at making poisons. Yeah, it's the one like area of chemistry that
they just excel at. There was just some madman when you know, back
in the day when everyone's eating different things to figure out what you could eat,
Someone's like, oh, that makes one dropped dead and he just gonna
yeah pocketed that. Yeah, what was the Uh there was a chick that
we did an episode on. Oh it was mine, the most slut shame
woman in history. Ye where they were like, all right, you can
kill yourself, but she couldn't. She was like just kept being like no,
no, no, no, no no no no no no no,
I get it. Yeah, that's that's how I would be. It's exactly
how I wouldn't. I can't just like it's like you just do it.
I'd be like, you do it, man, just do it. Yeah
please, I'm not gonna be able to. But these guys they fucking did
it. Um and here though, I mean, that's why you gotta put
the bone arrow in your mouth. Yes, yeah, the classic move.
It's a great meme is did you guys enjoy that? I liked it.
People from work have commented on that meme really, yeah, like like that's
pretty fucking funny, man. Yeah. I just stumbled randomly across that and
thought it was like the funniest thing I'd ever see. Yes, uh,
the I I wrote the meme, but like the picture obviously, I was
just like, this is unbelievable. Is the best picture I've ever seen in
my life? And that guy might have died making a meme. It's just
sucking arrow. Yeah, everyone hurting in his mouth, holding his feet there.
Check out softcore history on his Instagram is stopped. It's not shopped.
No, it's fucking incredible. That's who slips. You're dead, dude,
But pen to wear it his punishment. I mean this is classic Egypt punishment,
not finished with death because he still gets to live in the afterlife.
Maybe right. So ultimately pent to where it was buried in the same chamber
as his father, probably as a punishment, though based on how they buried
him, the body was not embalmed. It was placed in an uninscribed coffin,
so no magic on it or whatever, and he was ritual. He
was wrapped in I don't know how they know this or what they did or
how this qualifies as this, but a quote unquote he was wrapped in a
quote unquote ritually impure goat skin. They just skinned a goat and threw it
on top of his body. I guess, like maybe they were like,
hey, let's pee on it. Yeah, they all wiped their ass with
the goat right internally there as I would not be very creative with like trying
to figure out how to defile a dead body. I'd be like, I
don't know, it's let's pee on this rug and wrapping that, I guess,
And now I has to walk around in the afterlife. The real thing
is all Yeah, it's like you're the guy that stinks in heaven. Yeah,
gross, nobody's gonna Heaven's hann be fun for you. Yeah. But
that is the story of Ramsey's the third who honestly, like compared to every
other city, like it's the late Bronze Age collapse, and Egypt didn't collapse.
It's impressive. He kept the country afloat, fought off like and I
know the strike and the workers weren't getting paid, and they had a real
gripe for sure, And I'm sure that wasn't the only situation where people weren't
getting paid by the king and the kingdom or whatever. But like all things
considered, considering that he stopped the Sea peoples from um murdering everyone in the
country, I think he comes out ahead in terms of for those people's lives.
Yeah, legacy pretty solid. I honestly, like I looked at this
guy him like, this is one of the most brutal, fucking rains.
The sun's not out for twenty years, you have Mongolian vikings kings storming the
entire the and you're all trade is done because every other civilization around you has
collapsed by the way. They before the Sea people came, they were also
invaded in the west by the Libyans, and he beat them back. I
didn't even bother mentioning that more than that now, just because it wasn't that
it's probably just inconvenient. Yeah, and and and then the sun's not out
for twenty goddamn years, And in ancient Egypt's entire economy is farming on the
Nile. Yeah, and everything passed. That's a little sandy and then yeah,
someone doesn't know their role and cuts his head off rough it's brutal.
He did. I think he did pretty good all things considered. All things
considered, Yeah, I'm I am a bootlicking status for Ramsey's the third It
doesn't sound like he did anything bad well at the time, what do you
want from him? Yeah, fucking bootlicker over here painting the picture for him.
Yeah, he's kind of skewed my view. What if he was the
worst, actually terrible? I am sure this man was, among many other
things, a rapist, brutal, a murderer, dictator, like he did
horrible things. Oh man, but I love the way he wore those boots.
Yeah he did good, right, yep, But I learned today all
of this nice nice mail in I don't know shit about like anything really before
eighteen fifty. I feel like, maybe not you, but certainly you.
There's one thing, there's one thing that I was most interested in learning,
and one of you can guess it. The thing you're most interested in learning.
I mean about these seed people. I was about to say probably it
would have to do with like war tactic in Sea People's story and the sea
People part of the story, but maybe not in the Sea people, not
kind of across this tactic of archers on the side of a choke point trapping
them. Shooty boys, what the fuck's going on? What's happened? No,
I didn't realize that the Philistines might be descended from the spos. I
didn't know that either. That's actually that's definitely the big learn for me today.
I had no idea that there's any theory of them existing past that like
little swath of time they existed in like for me, my understanding the sea
people as they came and went, like they don't know where do they come
from? Where they go? Yeah, well, I think probably quite a
few of them. I don't think they went. I think they either died
because they live violently, or they just they split up, the just became
part of the postimulated in the different pieces. Yeah, it's I mean,
it could be the the Manoans, I guess the people of Crete, you
know, kind of a violent diaspora. Yeah right, um, but yeah,
no, if that's true, I mean, that's that's links to see
people to me, people, to the Bible. Yeah, and you people,
my people. Yeah, who's today's Hitler Earth? Whatever that volcano.
That volcano. I kind of though, like, God, damn dude,
um Hitler might be whoever was like, well, have we tried giving them
little treats? That might be? Yeah, the whoever proposed the pizza party.
I gotta go with the I gonna go with I don't know, I
actually don't. Yeah, why not Panto over Ramsey's four. It's like,
well, you notice his name is my name with the different number. And
she had to like she had to know. And I understand trying to free
yourself from your uh human trafficking life. I mean everyone's trying to get it.
Yeah. Yeah, but at the same time, like, right,
I don't know, I don't human trafficked. I don't think the harem just
got tossed in the dumpster after their husband died. As far as I know,
Yeah, they weren't doing throwing themselves on the bonfire or whatever. Now,
oh, maybe they did get buried with them. Yeah, I mean
I knew that was a thing in India for a little bit, like it
might be thing. Yeah, probably got buried with them fair enough. Yeah,
I take back the thie thing. It's it's Earth, Earth is Hitler,
It's Earth and humanity is actually saving all of this. Remember, global
warming probably will save our lives with volcano erupts. If you're volcano erupts were
good, guys, We're pretty overdue for a rapid global cooling event. I
think the last one was in um Man, either the fourteen or seventeen hundreds.
It was it was a volcanic explosion. Was wasn't it the time we
were talking about the worst year, you know that was in the five hundreds.
There was one it really I think a volcano exploded in Peru and it
like it killed millions of Russians in like the seventeen hundreds. That's so wild,
I know, right, what something wild like that. So we're kind
of due for like a random volcano rapid global cooling shitty situations. So I'm
just saying, drive a little extra, yeah, just floor it. Booking
a book that flight you were thinking about, Yeah, yeah for sure.
Uh that is all I got for today again. Check out our Patreon,
Patreon dot com slash softcore history merch at softcore history dot com. Patreon also
gets you two extra episodes each week. YEP, a lot of extra and
by the way, you're not just paying for those two weeks episodes and then
they're dead, not useful anymore. Um, all of our content, obviously
is the history podcast is evergreens. You haven't listened to massive, massive catalogs,
not like it's not like other podcasts, Like we got a whole catalog
of stuff, but they're talking about stuff that happened three years ago. We're
talking about stuff that happen a thousand years ago. And that makes it evergreen.
You wait long enough. Yeah, yeah, And we have being produced
right now that we won't be able to talk about for another twenty years.
It's true. So yeah, think about that. Every year we go forward,
there's another year of things we can talk about. We are actually we
can talk about nine to eleven. We can talk about it. Anything,
we can talk about last year, it doesn't matter. We can't. Yeah,
these are rules we said in place by ourselves. It doesn't matter.
You got to know the rules to break them anyway. For Dan Rochester and
Jake Goldman, I am Rob Fox. You just got soft served