I always like to remind you that our studios to Bilified Studios are in Fairport,
New York, one of the coolest places on the planet. Why is
it one of the coolest places on the planet because of places like Iron Smoke
Distillery that provide great entertainment and great beverages and just a fun environment. Like
seriously, they were the first place in the cannery in Fairport, and they
prove that it worked, and now everybody's over there. It's a fun place
to hang out. But really the anchor was Iron Smoke Distillery, which is
an award winning distillery that uses locally sourced grains. You're gonna love. They
have something for every palette and when you go in there, it's always a
whole lot of fun. Why not go in there tonight? You know what
they got live band karaoke. You get to sing with a live band,
pick your song, they play it. You're a rock star. Have you
ever fronted a band? If you haven't, get down to Iron Smoke Distillery
tonight beginning at seven thirty for live band karaoke. Tomorrow night, my friend
Steve Bartolata's All Star Jam kicks off at seven thirty. Always a lot of
fun. The sign up sheet will be available up front for any and all
musicians to sign up and jam again. That begins at seven point thirty on
Thursday, June twentieth. All there at Iron Smoke Distillery in Fairport, New
York. Baby, Hey, it's Bill. Consider this your official invitation to
the Comedy Caravan at the Remedy inside Finger Legs Gaming and Racetrack this Thursday night,
June twentieth, beginning at seven pm. There's no cover, there's no
ticket price. You just have to be eighteen and have a valid ID.
What's the comedy Caravan I am hosting. Then you're gonna see our friend Doug
Phelps aka Dougie Fresh. You know him from the podcast. He's gonna absolutely
blow you away. And then our headliner is Greg Owens, a comedy powerhouse
who's gonna give you an uproarious set. You're gonna have great drink specials inside
the Finger Legs Gaming and Racetrack at the Remedy. You'll be able to kick
back, blow off some steam, laugh with us. It's gonna be a
blast this Thursday night, beginning at seven. Well. In this episode,
our friend and comedian Doug Phelps is back, it's been a few minutes.
We talk about the stones and whether or not I will go see them again
on this tour. My brother and I were talking about shit, man,
we're going to Chicago to see him in like two weeks. Let's go.
Flights are cheap, We'll get the cheap seats again. Fuck it. We
had a great time, a great time. We had so much fun hanging
out together, and uh, and then you go to Chicago. This morning
my brother calls me and goes, hey, man, I'm not so sure
about Chicago. I go, yeah, no, I can't. I can't
hack it. I can't do it. We discussed the lost art of the
hang up and is it really effective? And then Doug admits to something,
I've been stealing it since I was a little kid. It tastes better when
you steal it. Then, while we were discussing whether or not the legalization
of weed is cutting into liquor sales, Doug's nephew was walking by the studio.
He came in and dented this. None of my friends drink, except
for like, if we're at a place where it's like, okay, we'll
squeeze in a beer too. But for the most part. It's like,
okay, once we're done for the night though, well, Papa Gummy,
we'll hit a pen or something and then we'll just let it take a vape
pen. Yeah, something like that. Like what did you think there's also
like meat pens and water? Do you think it was your apartment a pigpen?
All that more coming up right after this back of all trades. The
name says it all. Leo says everything you need. Not heat up your
kitchen. That's right, pre made meals ready for you to grab and go
from Keisha's to salads to maybe you want sandwiches. Oh, you could get
some fresh baked bread or rolls, and you can get all the boar's head
meats. Did you know that Leo's is the only official boar's head deli of
distinction in the area. And I gotta tell you, boars head meats are
so much better. They even have a grabbing go case. You can go
right in there and pick up a half pound of the boar's head London broil
and go the American cheese boom. We're ready, we got it. Oh,
don't forget the mayonnatees. Somebody get the bustard We're all set. You
can make it. Go grab some tomatoes, will slice those up. We're
not heating up the kitchen. It's delicious. It's all thanks to Leo's.
Oh, and why we're there, we might as well get some cookies or
cakes or pies or whatever. They've got it all Leos. What's the best
thing about Leo's Everything on deskbats Drive in East Rochester and open it day when
your old career gives you lemons Throwing some ice, mixing some vodka in color.
A podcast from the Mac of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by
Victor Chrysler, Dods, Jeep Rams Eats, Billified, The Bill Moran Podcast.
Well, hello and welcome. Thank you for getting your pot on.
Thank you for telling a friend. That's how we spread the word about the
pirate ship. Stucky freshing up. Back, Baby, I'm back. I
can't believe it's been fourteen days. I'm losing my mind without your brother.
I don't know what to do. I've been eating Reese's cubs, I've been
eating abbits. I'm chosen for some Bilified. Oh buddy, I missed you.
How you been happy? Happy late Father's Day. I'm doing great.
You know, yes, I'm doing well. We got an air conditioner in
here. Nobody's close thing you. I'm cool. It's great because you know
what, Doug, it's so hot out. How hot is it? It's
so hot out, Doug that the ice cream man changed his sign to just
cream Doug. It is so hot out? How hot is it? I
had sex with Aquaman and I don't even feel gay about it. You've missed
me too. I come on, pal, come on, I heard a
good one to day. What's that? There's three old guys in a nursing
home and first guy goes, I wish I could pee. Just it just
triples. I wish I could take a pee. The second guy goes,
I wish I could take a dump like I was in the military in twenty
one, and the third guy goes, you push. He say, I
take a strong pitch. It's seven fifteen, and then I take a dump
it seven thirty and they go, why are you bitching? He goes,
I don't get out of bed to nine thirty. There it is. That's
right, I'm I'm figuring out, Doug. That the universe. No oh,
I'm not feeling good today. What's matter? But I don't know.
I'm like tired and LOGI and achy. I went for like my three mile
walk jog today to try to work things out. And I think, I
think you think that Chicago or Cleveland just caught up to me. Oh,
that's right, the Rolling Stones. I think Cleveland just caught up to me
because take Binaculars. Because with the video, I saw you were so far,
we were so far hog so high. So my brother called me and
said, hey, what are you doing in June fifteenth? They go Stones
Cleveland. He's like yeah. So he bought the tickets and everything, and
I said, he goes. I just grabbed the cheap tickets. I think
one level down was three hundred dollars more. Wow. Yeah, So I
said, listen, when we get there, we'll upgrade. Well we got
there, we had each ingested a palette of beer. I mean, I
think we counted it that we were about twenty beers into the day by the
time we got to the show. Really, what are you drinking? Oh?
A mix of everything. I mean it's just a mix of beers.
It was Guinness all No, it was IPA's, and it was lights and
it was this it was like that was everything. It was just a part.
It was just we just were good for you. Yeah. So,
uh, we got into the show and then just because my mother for Father's
Day bought us Hackney Diamond shirts. That's the name of the album and the
name of the tour. Hackney Diamond is when you break a car window to
break into it and grab whatever's in there. All the glass in the ground
is referred to as Hackney diamonds. Huh. And I didn't either. I
learned that there. So uh. She bought us these Hackney Diamond shirts.
So they came to my place and I actually ironed them inside out to try
to press them, and I go, I'm not fucking wearing these. We
can't wear the Hackney. Now, if I had a vined stone shirt,
I would have done that, but I don't have a vented by a shirt.
At the stadium, no, no, by the time we got there,
we went right into our seat and on the merchandise line on the way
out was way too much and I always get him on the outside somebody man.
No, I didn't even see it anybody. So we uh, so
we didn't wear them. And then I think my mother was a little offended
by this, and she was with my sister, and I don't did your
mom go to No, she was with my sister in the DC area,
So how do they know you did it with it? Because she wanted video
or pictures and she could go where's the ship? And I said, I'm
not wearing the shirt to the show that you can get me quick on your
feet, like mom, you know we were wearing them. Somebody bumped into
me, spilled my beer all over it. Mine got ruined. So it's
a quick little white line, right, So this is what we sent her
instead. But you have you probably have to see this video, uh to
actually fully fully appreciate it. But my brother's name is Mars March. This
is for you, you on March March. We call our mother by her
first name, which is I don't know why we do that, but we
have another kid does. We've been doing that since we were little and uh
uh you can tell in the beginning as draw were fucking toasted toasted. But
like we I drove back. I was back here by two o'clock Sunday because
my brother got on a flight and he flew back to Portland, Maine.
He was back in Kenning Bunk by seven thirty eight o'clock, had Father's Day
with his kids and went to bed. I came here, I did some
work, I did some other stuff. I actually went for like a two
mile jog. Uh yesterday, worked all day. Today. I wake up,
I go fu, and I go, what is it that the older
you get? It's like cause, then my brother and I were talking about,
shit, man, we're going to Chicago to see him in like two
weeks. Let's go. Flights are cheap, We'll get the cheap seats again.
Fuck it. We had a great time, a great time. We
had so much fun hanging out together. And uh, and then you go
in to Chicago. This morning, my brother calls me and goes, hey,
man, I'm not so sure Abouticaga. I go, yeah, No,
I can't. I can't hack it. I can't do it. I
can't do it. But the Stones are gonna put out another album. They
went into this album, which I think is one of their best since the
eighties, with like eighty songs. So they picked the best ones and they
have enough for another album in there and maybe another tour if they're going.
I mean, I would love to see them when they're in their nineties.
Please let that happen, and Nick it was a two and a half two
little over two hour show. Yeah sounded great. I mean, didn't it
sound right there? I mean you were high up. I was high up.
I was as long as you're there, enjoyed. We were one row
away from the highest row. My brother goes, Man, I'm so glad
we weren't in that back row, he goes, because I would have pissed
out over the wall. And he goes, and then it would have been
why'd you get arrested in Cleveland? Right? But what is it, Doug?
You you were a drake? Like, here's the bad part. I
start to worry a little bit because I see things with my parents and I
know what their alcohol consumption was back in the day, and even a little
older than me that I am currently, And I just wonder what the residuals
of that will be. I have been drinking at a pretty steady level every
weekend, in a binge drinking way, and I'm not proud of this.
Actually, since I was about fourteen years old, Okay, since I was
about fourteen years old, I would say almost every single weekend, I would
say, if you're not hurting anybody, and even hurting yourself, let alone
hangover Zuri. Yeah, some of regrets might have said something you know,
life's gonna go on. No, I get that. I'm saying, like
health wise, that's what I'm working, you know what, buddy, Because
then I look at the stones and I go, fuck man. Keith should
have been dead like years ago, and right and Mick Mick. He was
married to Jerry Hall, who said she got him off Heroin. I'm like,
off Heroin. Yeah, I didn't do Heroin. I would say,
as long as you're not hurting anybody, keep doing it. What makes hi?
You don't know if tomorrow is gonna come, you know? And I
got I don't know if I should say this in there. It's been on
the news. But the gentleman in Pittsford I got hit by the car on
his bicycle. That was a friend of mine father. It was a friend
of your father. Yeah. So I found that out Saturday. Oh,
somebody text me. Yeah, I'm sorry, you don't know you I know.
So last Thursday I went out and my golf league, I'm like,
am I going to drink? So I put five beers in my cooler or
nine holes? Executive only only three or four those were gone by nine,
went home, had another drink printed out. Some flyers picked my buddy up,
took him to his bar he was working at beer beer Shot Shot,
Beer Beer beer Shot. Went home, had a friend take me to Noonan's
beer shot Shot, ran in some people, and then the person that gave
me ride home. I texted the next day said, hey, do we
stop anywhere she goes? Yeah, Whiskey River, Anchlotte. And you don't
remember. No. Oh, so that's letting nice. And I wasn't driving.
No, I get that. I understand. Look, we weren't driving
in Cleveland. I think my uber bill was like one hundred bucks. Good
right to get back or on the way back. I have no idea Ober
changed. The prices changed. If it was three hundred dollars, let me
ask you something is fifteen thousands. Yes, drink kids justin Timberlake in New
York City. Yes, just got busted. The mug shot. The mugshot
is fantastic. I haven't seen it. It's glassy eyed, it's I feel
a little bit bad, and everybody's going He's going to get this reduced.
Uh. And it has nothing to do with celebrity. It doesn't. Bruce
Springsteting got a d w I few years ago. He paid five hundred dollars.
That was it. That's it, that's it. That can suck because
because hang on, because he's a Democrat. No Democrats. It's got nothing
to do with that. Okay, he's Bruce Springsteen. No, it has
nothing to do with any of that. Nothing really no, because all right,
all right now I'm gonna have to say something that I don't want to
say. I have a family member who got a DWI, same thing we
got it plutted played down to a DWAI. First thing, it is a
five hundred dollars fine, but what here's what you don't know. You have
to go through all the shit Bruce did. Justin Timberlake, did you have
to go to the impact panel? Well, I don't know about Jersey,
but New York State you have to go to the impact panel. So Justin
is gonna have to do that. You have to uh, you may have
to go to alcohol rehabilitation. You do lose your license, you know you
don't. You get a conditional license for ninety days with a d w AI.
These are all the things, so it will be plied down. It
has nothing to do with celebrity. I think they got them as like as
soon as he rolled five feet. But look at you get all worked up.
Look at you get all worked up. What is it? Hey,
I joined alcoholics anonymous, I still drink and use a different name it.
We should crack a beer, but I don't think I have any and I
don't think it don't. Yeah I did, there's not oh there there's booze.
There's booze. But the uh yeah, so I was still feeling the
residuals. But you yeah, I think Bruce. All Bruce did was he
he was on his motorcycle and a bunch of people stopped him and asked him
to do a shot. So he did the shot and then drove off details
and they got him. And I don't think I don't think he even blew.
I think they got him for drinking. He did the shot while sitting
on his motorcycle and then drove so they got him for literally having a beer
open. But look at you get all fired up. Man. It's a
democrat. It's a democrat, that's the thing. Why do you get all
worked up? Does talk to me about how do you what do you mean?
Board? I think it would be even I think there's been Republicans who've
gotten away with stuff. Sure there are. Yeah, all right, what's
the problem, No problem, you do see you? No, hang on,
hang on now, I want to know how are you feeling about the
election coming up? Now I thought about it. There's gonna be too much
of that. I'm gonna I have no control over it. I know who
I'm voting for. I'm not watching the debates or anything, because it's just
it's more sad for America than anything. Oh yeah, I think you're right.
I think you're right. Just hoping for the future. Somebody comes in
and yeah, well gas prices alone and economy and inflation. Yeah, well,
we got our big show coming up Thursday night at the Remedy inside the
I forget all gaming and raout. What are you talking about? I'm joking.
You haven't don my look at my blanket. I'm trying new comedy.
Are you? Have you tried new material? I'm excited because somebody said to
me, are you nervous? And I go no, because I'm just the
MC for this. I don't have to be nervous. I get up there
and I could lay a big turn on the stage and you got to go
up next. It's no big deal. Twenty minutes you wanted, Yeah,
that's what you wanted. Twenty minutes. I've done fifteen. This is gonna
be twenty. Yeah, first time stretching it. I haven't stretching it.
Yeah, Well, don't worry about it. Whatever, you don't whatever,
listen to me. I'll say this, and I was gonna say it on
the podcast, and I don't want you to be offended by it. Do
whatever you think is your strongest set. Don't worry about the time. The
time thing is I always I always worry when people give you absolutes, But
like, if you're an MC, you should probably keep it to a tight
ten because other people should have the wiggle room, right. But I also
always figure if it's a show that I'm put together or a show that I'm
seeing, and we say that it's got to be this long, if somebody
goes a little short, it's going to be right around twe I'll go longer
they're in between, and if somebody goes uh long, I'll go shorter in
between. It doesn't matter to me. I mean, I I just get
up there, baby, and I just it's just it's just me. It's
everybody is what you get, baby, unless you got a six pack.
Wow, then then we might be going along. We might be going way
long. So I'm going to be working as the stuff. It's been a
busy week. Wait wait wait wait wait, it's Tuesday. Yeah, the
show's Thursday. You wouldn't mean you're gona be working on some stuff, going
over some stuff? Yeah, maybe any new material, anything new in your
life that that's come along. No, No, just this. I just
haven't had the time to practice. Yeah. Yeah, but you want all
this stuff I do. Yeah, but I'm still not. I sometimes worry
about here. Here's what I would tell anybody. If you have a speech
to give, or you've got a public presentation to give, I always think
that sometimes you're you. If you try to go and memorize it, you'll
sit there at a point and go, god, damn, I miss that
or or whatever, and it may hit you while you're doing the thing,
so you're not in the moment. You're in your head. And to me,
the greatest thing to do is like I would be almost like you know,
the Buffalo Bills, don't practice day before the game, don't don't do
it. Any of it Easier said than done. You will just but no,
no serious stuff because that way, when you get there, you're a
little looser, a little more relaxed, and he can play in the moment.
And sometimes something happens where you've got the perfect joke and you know it.
But if you're so rigid in your set as to this goes first and
you know, I got block A and block B and black C, which
is I understand that, but it's sometimes it's flowing around. Well, I
don't have the audience experience to float around and audience participation work with audience.
I haven't done that at all. Oh, because the shows I've done,
they don't want you to do. Yeah, yeah, the MC, I
don't do whatever you want because I'm going to talk. I'll talk to the
audience. Yeah, I'm going to I might do that a little more.
But I think who's coming to support the Dougie Frost my father, Yes,
goddamn it, Let's give him a mic and let him do five minutes.
Jesus five minutes. No, five minutes, Dave Phelps, Dave, I
know you're listening right now. He's on the edge of if you come far.
We'll give you five minutes, but a tight five. Dave that way.
If Doug only goes fifteen, there's this twenty Now I'm kidding. I'm
kidding. I'm kidding. Now. I saw him Saturday for her father's Yeah,
it was it was good. We watched the US Open, we played
cards. We're going to turning Stone to Marrow to play bingo. Look at
this. Yeah, yeah, you fucking you got an exciting life over there.
Yeah, my god, picking them up and now Bingo is a great
place to meet older chicks. Yeah. I don't look for the older ones
wearing the gold or the silver. No, what do you look for?
I look for the ones they have the most Bengo bars. Oh really,
because they grabbed that dabber and it's the followed best hand job this side of
the Mississippi. When they got twenty boards. All you gotta do is sit
back, pull the pants down, and yell you're not what it is?
It is, That's what it is, as simple as that. You got
to know what you're going after. Bill. You know, I heard a
dirty joke today. I want to hear it. I heard it is actually
a ninety seven year old woman telling it to her ninety six year old boyfriend
and his son. She was telling this joke. She said, Uh,
you know, there was a man and a woman and every day he would
come home and he'd say hello, dear, and she'd say hello dear,
and he would walk over. And she had a bunch of friends over and
he would walk over to her and she would pull down a zipper, pull
out his pecker, give him a kiss on the packer, put the packer
back and there, and zip it back up. And her friends were aghast
and went, oh my god, what are you doing? She said,
have you smelled his breath? I had a eighty six year old uber rider
today eighty six? Yeah, and turned her eye. Go can I smell
your pussy? And she certainly not. I go, it must be your
feet. Next day, Boom Tuesday, loving it. We're back, baby,
We're back the eight materials. But this will be a lot of fun
Thursday night, and it's free. We're doing the podcast too out there.
So the podcast will start taping around five five and then I'm hoping to wrap
it by six thirty and then we will begin the show at seven. That's
a plan. So I may bring my clothes to change into maybe I'll change
there. I'm not sure, and then not that you need to know that,
and then yeah, we go seven to nine with the show. We'll
begin at seven. It's uh free, come on in. All you need
is to be eighteen and have a valid idea and bring your life. That's
it. Yeah, either you're twenty one, valid hundred and twenty one.
They want your idea to eighteen to get in there. Eighteen. Yeah.
My cousin Karen, who lives in Farmington, Yeah, excuse me, it's
coming. This will be the first time she's ever seen me, so she's
very excited. Okay, Yeah, are you nervous about that? I'm always
nervous before I go out state? Nobody. How about what does it get
worse when there's family members in there? They're gonna sit in back? I
guess up front. I think I told him that. You said, do
you have to sit in the back? Yeah, because I remember being at
a show once and looking down and seeing uh, somebody like somebody I had
at Fisher like in the front row, and I was like, yeah,
and it's all you start thinking about if I do play with the audience,
I don't want the folks right there. Yeah you know, yeah, yeah,
ros back. Yeah, so Dave sit up front. I had I
was working a whiskey sunday. I can't remember her name, but it was
it was kind of busy, and the lady came up. I just I
got to tell you I love you on the podcast on Tuesdays. Yeah,
I've got a couple of all right, three people just strangers. Thanks for
listening. Yeah, you know, we're growing. We're growing. The podcast
is growing and uh, which is fantastic. And I won't discuss specifics on
here because then everybody goes and I just don't. I just don't give a
ship enough. But that's great. I got their opinions, and opinions are
like assoles everybody's got. Oh, I don't care about the opinions. I've
been doing this long enough to not care. This though, is a different
medium, and it's measured differently. So if I start saying something, you'll
be challenged into you must be lying, or this can't be true, or
I so, I just my thing is fifty three. You don't have to
lie to you. No, No, I'm not, but I'm I'm not
fifty three and fifty I'll be fifty four, next year, next month.
Good, that's great, that's good. Are you gonna uber We're gonna have
drinks for what my birthday? Dumbass one? Is that it's July twenty seventh,
twenty seven working. I think I'm out of town. Wait wait,
wait, what's the weekend? Is that a weekend? Yes, it's Saturday.
Yeah I am. I am in the Adirondecks. Okay, yeah,
I can't believe me that one. I'm doing a uh falling asleep a strangerselves
again with your pants down. That's fun. I've done that. No,
but those people will be on this on this trip, well it's gonna be
Is it one of those parties where you have to lock up your cell phone
so nobody can take pictures of it? No, I haven't. I haven't
been told that. Okay, but actually my son's gonna come with me.
We'll everybody's rented u TVs, the all terrain vehicles, but these are like
the bigger. They're called u TV, not a TV. Okay, And
you go down the trails from bar to bar. It's all day Friday safe
idea, and then uh, then there's a Saturday and a breakfast Sunday and
everybody's out Thursday night banded, you know, from thing to thing. I'm
gonna make Bill fight Sunday. Just give me next to the microphone. We
can do this. Yeah, so that should be a good time. But
that well, we'll have to do it maybe the weekend after. Yeah,
yeah, because I've got I'll be working, so I don't think I'm gonna
get Wow, you're gonna be working on your birthday? Yeah, yeah,
So I figure if anybody wants to come see me, they can. Yeah
before still come in and drink. And my friends are building a house right
around the corner. Okay, they should be done in the next two or
three weeks. So the plan is have fun there right walk to their gotcha
crash? All right, so very good. All right, Well, take
a moment when we come back. The art of the hang up, Our
art of the hang up of the hang up. We'll get to that next
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how did I pull that one out? Eighty or eighty one? Yeah?
My wish I phone hanging on the telephonotory. Is this not a dated
song or what oh yeah, right, and if you listen to it,
it almost has a modern sound. Now now it's I text you all the
time? Yeah right, you know I got to block your number. I
text you all the time. Uh did you ever hang up the phone on
somebody? You ever get so frustrated you've just clicked out of besides my parents,
you've hung up on your parents. See the problem with the hang up
now, I don't have anybody hang up on. Yeah, that's true.
But the the problem with the hang up now is it's not as effect.
It's not it doesn't have the same dramatic effect. No, you used to
be able to. We had a yellow phone that hung in the kitchen on
the wall, and you can you could leap across the kitchen table and just
hang that thing. My point, And yes, right exactly, you hang
up on somebody on the cell phone, they call you back, He did?
I just disconnected? Right, and then you have to explain yourself.
No, you fucking idiot? Why do I talk you ever again? Yes?
Well, so, I think I think that the hang up is a
very h controlling move. I think it's I don't like it. I'm not
I'm not a fan of it because you grew up with it. What do
you mean the hang up when you had the rotary phone? Yeah, yes,
it doesn't even compare to just no pushing a button. No. But
what I'm saying is I just think overall, I think it's a weak move.
I think it's a move where you're trying to control a situation and you
really can't, and if you're an adult, you should just kind of wait
it out. I've even had the passive aggressive move done to me where it
just sits in silence. So I'll just sit in silent, I'll push mute
on my phone and just start laughing, and I'll just wait it out.
I'll wait it out because I'm not going to hang up right now. I
know I have. I know I have, and I am guilty of it.
I'm a bit of a hypocrite for saying that. And I have slam
phones down in the past. I have picked them up and re slammed them.
I may have done it three or four and I'm like, right,
should I ask with who? I have a couple of good ideas now.
I'm thinking one where I actually chipped the phone and it might have been a
girlfriend back in college or something. Yeah, there's annoying me. She was
whatever, okay, But then after that, No, I'm trying to remember,
because I don't think they we didn't have your wife or anything. No,
because we didn't have that phone. Then even twenty years ago, you
didn't. We had the phone that was the antenna, but you still pushed
a button. You could. You didn't have that beautiful fucking hang up on
the cradle thing like when I used to from here to you got it,
Like when we would call timmy Lesorda and you could hear me go, what
oh cook calling me, I'll kick your ass and then here just because he
couldn't hang up the phone, and it was great, and that added to
the humor for us, which was torturing this guy. But I bring this
up because I have a fourteen year old son and I should be flattered by
this. I wasn't really sure what to think of it. Uh, He's
been texting me going, hey, can I come up? Can I come
up and hang out with you? And I wasn't sure of timing things that
were going on and some other stuff. And then I was finally like,
you know, what what am I doing? Right? What am I doing?
I love hanging I love spending time with this kid. I miss him
tremendously. So I work it out with his mom for some dates. And
she said, do you want me to tell him or do you want to
call him and tell my son? I'll I go where is he? He's
in the living room. I'll call him right now. So I call his
phone and I said, listen, uh, I'm really sorry, but we're
not going to be able to get together. And he hung up. He
was so up, backfired because I was going to say in the month of
June. That was whole plan. I had this whole plan. I was
gonna go lead you right up to it. And then no, he hung
up. So I called back and he goes, hello, and I said,
you didn't let me finish. I said, I was gonna say we
weren't gonna be able to get together for the month of June, and you
know, but you come up for July for a couple of weeks, and
and his mother text me going he looked absolutely crushed. The look on his
face. Wait, I should I should feel pretty good, and I said,
and I wrote to her, I said, I'm sorry, I hope
I didn't say anything off bad bad dad joke. But but here's the thing.
He's fourteen. I get it. I would like to, though,
try to in a very polite way. I'm not with him every day.
It's a little different for me, but I'd like to say hanging up is
a weak thing to do. You should wait to hear the personnel. You
look in my mind when you hang up, why are you smiling like this?
Why are you smiling? I wanted to tell me if I'm wrong,
tell me if I'm wrong. You're talking to a boss boss because you have
you hang up the phone. Do you look like a stupid employee and then
you're gonna come in? You got all that tension in his other thing?
That employee is dead. I understand, I know you had this. All
I'm saying, no, no, no, no, no no. The
one with Jamison, I don't. I don't really have a problem with.
What I'm saying is the hang up with it on adults. Here's the thing.
My old man, he's seventy eight years old. He talks to an
old coworkers. They were teachers, and the guy has hung up on him
like two or three times. My father was very very upset, so he
had come up from my son's graduation, and it had bothered him so much
he brought it up to me. He goes, I'm gonna have to say
something to this guy about hanging up, and I agree. I go,
yeah, the hang up to me, it's a it's a power move,
and I get it. You can end the conversation, but gonna listen.
This conversation is going to go sideways fast, and neither one of us need
that, so I'm gonna hang up. I've even done this. I have
done this. Now you tell me if this is a bad move or not.
I had. I was producing a very big radio show at the time,
so I wound up being in charge. I was basically like the program
director, not even a producer, but the program director of this one show.
It was an enormous radio show. And I got one of these sales
managers called me up and goes, he'd been bugging me about something. I
go, and I kept saying no, so I said to him. He
called me, and I remember standing right in my bedroom and I go,
listen, I'm gonna give you sixty seconds to say your piece again. I
go, But then I'm hanging up because I've already heard this. We've been
I and this is what I said to him. This is how bad this
is. This is what it was like to deal with me, and it
still is like to deal with me. To be honest, I like to
think I've matured. I have. And I go, I've been around the
block on this three or four times already, you know my answer. This
is ridiculous. But i will listen for sixty seconds, and then I'm hanging
up, and I said, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
give you con I'm going to give you a ten second countdown. Then I'm
going. And so I hear the guy and he's talking, and he goes
okay, and he starts talking. He's talking, he's talking, he's talking,
he's talk he's talking, and I had a fucking stopwatch like in my
hand, and then all of a sudden, I go ten, I go
five, four, He starts speeding up, his voice goes up and octave,
and I go, goodbye. Up the phone, and I think that
was a flip phone. So I got the little satisfaction of the slat,
a little bit of a slap. But I warned that guy and he already
knew and he was trying again for some and I don't even remember what it
was. I just remember that I thought, I thought that was a very
courteous thing of me. Sixty seconds you can't get your point across. I
thought it was courteous of me to say, uh, you know, this
is what we're doing. Blah blah blah. So I but I I think,
don't you think hanging up as an adult slamming the phone down in somebody
out of frustration is a weak move? You don't, I Well tell me,
I remember the last time I did it. I've wanted to slam it.
I'm down, especially taking to go orders, you know, yeah,
yeah, yeah, frustrated people. Yeah, Hi, what can I get
you? We're gonna make it to order? What do you want? Just
a second? What do you want? You want that? And I'm like,
okay, I'm busy. I half hung up the phone doing that.
I won't say where, okay, all right, but that's okay, narrow.
I can understand that you're busy or whatever, like, hey, call
I would say that call back when when you got the order ready, We're
really staffed here, but someone will grab the phone, That's what I would
say, And then on we go. I don't have time for it.
There's an old joke. You know, it has a big dick. It
hangs up, not a bat, you just hang up. It was you
know, it's got a big dicken, hangs up, motherfucker. I answered
the phone once to an old girlfriend about eighteen years ago. She was calling.
I just answered what She hung up on me, and I'm like,
okay, I frolled that trying to be funny, and I don't think that
that's necessarily a weak move. I think you scared her. You probably did.
I called back and she wouldn't answer. I called back. Her daughter
answered, I'm not talking. I got I was trying to be funny.
It was. Was it the error of the cell phone where you could see
who's calling? No? Uh yeah, you can tell who's calling if it's
the error of the cell phone. You see the number flash up there.
Twenty years yeah, yeah, all right, Well yeah, I've had I
had one of my sons hang up on me and I called him back.
Go listen. I know you're frustrated. I know that the things aren't going
the way you want. Don't ever do that, especially to me, but
don't do that to anybody hanging out. If you can even say you seem
more happy after you said you give him the whole he just said. He
sat there silent for a few seconds, and I said, listen, all
I'm all I'm telling you is you look weak. And if you just say
to the person so you're surprising to go over, well, now you're calling
them weak. And he's just like, I can't wait for the July.
Yeah, not that kid the middle, This other kid. I have older
kids. I'm talking about an older kid, an older kid who was frustrated.
He's about twenty two. I have three kids. Yeah, he's twenty
two. I got this moment. This guy was twenty two. I'm just
saying that guy had a frustration hung up on me on something. I call
him work out. It was fine. I just said to him, listen,
don't make try not to make that a habit, because it looks weak
at least say much of a habit of people calling up trying to tell a
joke and doesn't work out. Is he going to have that's Oh, that's
Jamison he's talking about. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about
Jordan, who was trying to follow me. I know, I'm all over.
Yeah, you are. But Jordan was. It was a universe his
twenties and he's like, and I go, buddy, that's a weak move
when you do that. Try to hang Try. I know you're frustrated.
I got it. Just say listen this guy, I'm not I really can't
have this conversation at the moment. Let me call you back when I clear
my head. That's way better than the boom. You know what I'm saying.
You sound like a fucking holl Say what is wrong with you? It's
all I'm saying, Doug. The art of that, the art of the
hang up is gone unless they still had the cradle where you could really fucking
make your point. That's an extra point. A robbery phone, you can
slam it. Well, you got that, nobody. I was just gonna
ask you if you knew anybody, I probably tell you what we should probably
get, what we should get, what we should get one and so the
idea of the hang up. Can we get a funny one like a big
dick or something from the show world? Slam that, Doug, I don't
want to be touching a big dick? Why not? Well, you're not
used to it. Hell, not at all. I'm Irish, miss I'm
not Irish. My mother from wash my dad's what are you to do that
joke? I'm doing the jack rabbit joke, your favorite. Yeah, I
do like the jack rabbit the joke that'll all be at at the wedding.
I like that. Thursday night, seven o'clock at Remedy Finger Lakes Racing Casino.
Just come on down, gaming and race will be a gaming and race
track. Now they sent a flyer out or anything. Yeah, they send
all kinds of stuff I haven't got. Well, you're not on their list,
so don't worry about it. But it's all out there. They got
tons of them out there. People are coming the front row rooms. I
don't know. I think oxygen tanks are in the back. There can be
a lot of old pussy there. Willie want What does that mean? What
does that mean? What are you trying to say? I'm saying you get
a horny ona happen? You'll know if I am you like the older lady.
Oh my gosh. Absolutely, social security. But your parents are there,
they'll be in a background. Yeah, but I mean, you know
you got to behave They can't remember anything. And the case in point so
my some mother, Kathy makes potasto once a year for me. So she
was in the other room when I got there. I took a scoop and
eate and I put the the container back, but I had moved it,
and she noticed it. After that, she couldn't remember anything for the rest
of the day, who was coming, where they were going, what they
were doing when they were leaving Thursday, but she knew that they taste saled
had been moved, and they bothered her. I've been stealing it since I
was a little kid. It tastes better when you steal it. She just
stole a spoonful, and she was annoyed. She's not annoyed. She's used
to it by now. Yeah, she used to be annoyed. Okay,
Oh I got in trouble for that. You did? Oh yeah from your
step mother? Yeah? What is it like being yelled at by a step
mom? Oh? She's so close to me now, I mean, did
she yelly to you? I don't think I've been yelled at a long time.
They'd been married forty two years, was there? Yeah? I saw,
I saw when I saw that on on Facebook. Did you get him
something nice? Did you do a romantic move for them. I mean,
did you help your dad pull a romantic move or anything? No, all
right, you didn't get it int of his elvis suit. And I don't
know what he did. I don't ask those questions. Love me to love
me sweet. Did I leave the iron on at fifty years old or fifty
years old? Fifty fifty years? Will do something special at fifty? Yeah,
eight more years. How long was you married to your mom? I
think eight years? Eight years? Wow? Yeah? Yeah, no,
probably eight years. Yeah, your mom remarried to she remarried now? And
how long was she married? Oh? They were together almost as long for
forty years. Yeah, that's good. You know, starter marriages sometimes don't
work. Yeah, not that I know anything about that, but I don't
know. I think happened. Everybody gets a new car after seven years and
yeah, yeah, yeah, you get a new fields. You know what
has vagina? I mean new car smell right, like I like those older
cars. They got a lot of miles, but they're comfy. Yeah,
they're broken in, broken in broken You don't they got the knobs you you
turn the knobs along nipples? You know? They got the eight track?
Captain and Neo play love will together exactly. Yeah, Like, hey,
Doug, you want the NU Mercedes? You want the seventy two Buick has
got a hundred seventy two miles that still runs, run like I wouldn't even
like an older Mercedes. Though an older a vintage Mercedes. There's something about
that. Somebody you know, well they have. I'm gonna tell you this
that because here's the thing. You get money, right, it kind of
soaks into the pores, and like a nice car that's well maintained, it
holds up last. It's quality. It's quality just like a woman. Same
thing with a woman. Right, If you get a woman who's got some
money and she's kept herself, well you know what I'm saying. I know
exactly right. And I've seen women they haven't kept themselves. Yeah, especially
in the bars, you've seen women. I've seen women that are seventy two
in the absolutely gorgeous, right, and I've seen seventy two that the liquor
has just sucked the life out of Oh they look like face. I mean
you just you could take an iron all day long and they're not. There
was once I did something somebody brought up somebody not even close to that age
who had handlet and stuff and smoked and they said, have you seen this
person? And I said yeah, and I took There was a little brown
paper bag next to me, and I wrinkled it up, wrinkled it up,
and the paper bag. Oh, this was probably years ago. Okay,
yeah, yeah, I mean I I was more of an asshole then.
I had more of an edge. I think I'm losing my edge.
You should drink more. I think I shouldn't, because god damn it,
I'm starting to worry that that you see the I worry there's a problem here.
I don't like it. What do you mean, what problem? I
still show up to work and stuff. But yeah, that's all matters.
You know what Buddy told me. Once he goes, no, you can't
make it to work the next day. You you have a problem, He
goes, If you can, if you can get there to the ring of
the bell, you know, go out and have some fun. Yeah,
there's all kinds of cliches. Well, I think he got a to me,
it's like ride the throttle. My brother and I were talking about this
because my brother said, to you got anxiety and I said yes, and
uh, maybe in a little while I think I'm going to do a Captain
and Sideo song in a minute, but only because of you, mom,
Mamo told me. But there was a song. My brothers become friends with
this singer songwriter, Chris Trapper, who used to be in a band called
the push Stars years ago, and he has a pretty fairly big following.
But he has a song called don't let Your Monday ruin Your Sunday. My
buddy's got saying, don't you Monday my Sunday? Yeah, okay, Well
it's interesting. I never heard that. I didn't hear I don't mind Jeff.
So I like this and I thought that's an interesting thing. So my
brother played it for me when we were driving back. But you can get
all up in your head and you start to feel a little bad. And
then he said to me that he goes, yeah, you know, listen,
I've been to a point where I was gonna stop drinking. And you
know, I went like five days and I felt pretty good. And then
he's like, they go up. They have a ski lonch my brother and
for his kids and stuff, and so they go up every week to this
ski resort and they have it's almost like a Swiss Army Knife ski Lodge.
Yeah, I called the Swiss Army Knife for the architecture, well right in
it. All it is is this tiny little studio, but it's so well
done, like you wouldn't even realize you were all in the same room.
It's got an elevated floor, the kitchen's down a little bit. The kids
have bunk beds, but there's like a curtain that drops over them so that
they are of privacy. The parents are on this you know, other bed
upstairs and it's great and it's just skiing ski out and they ski all went
along there, but a lot of the parents go up. Well the kids
are in ski school and they drink. And my brother's like yeah, he
goes, you know, I got up there and I was gonna do dry
Sanuary and I got five days in and he goes. My buddy's like,
hey, hey, what are we gonna have? And he goes, I
think I'm gone. I'm trying to do drive January. And he goes.
There was this long pause and he goes, Kim, Yeah. My brother's
like and I looked at my brother, go that's all it took, right,
He goes, Yeah, I go on the same way the same way.
It's a it's a bad thing, and I start to I just worry.
I don't want to lose my marbles on them. Oh hear, Yeah,
but you know, just letting, not letting go and letting lose,
letting go, letting lose. I did two weeks in a row where I
went like off the deep end, like deep end. One was even deeper
than the other. And then I didn't read about a newspaper. I didn't
see on the news, you know, not on ten or thirteen. No,
no, no, no, anybody questions walk in my shoes? No,
well, I work hard. I'm raising three kids. I can have
heard. Anybody. Don't say that because I'm not raising them anymore. Okay,
well two of them are older. No, because I'm just saying,
like I can hear in my head, you're not right. I'm not.
I don't have the fourteen year old. Oh you're looking at me? Is
that you do that? You're looking at me? Buy me a beer.
Shut the fuck up, sir. This is McDonald's. I know, you
know it's so hot. How hot was it? I took a McDonald's coffee
poured in my lap just to cool off. Hey ow, we're so ready
for Thursday. All right, we'll take a moment. Uh seven o'clock finger
Lakes, the A material comes out, all right? All that more?
Right after this, Rose City Driving in Newark is up and operating, and
you can go this weekend and check out a double feature Inside Out Too and
Fall Guy. I want to see this Fall Guy. That is Inside Out
Too. Sounds great, But my kids are a little older now, but
you could go for the double feature, right, especially if you've got young
kids. Bring them for Inside Out Too. They'll probably fall asleep. Stick
around for Fall Guy. Oh, you're gonna love this. It is state
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Myers RV of Caledonian's tent say, check out Jimmy Z's on all major platforms.
At Plates in Shakes, Comedy of the Carlson has had some great acts
come in. And if you're one of these people who's like, oh,
I would love to see Sam Morrell, get on it. He'll be here
next weekend. And I only say that because tickets aren't selling out for shows.
Bob the Drag Queen is there for two shows this Friday and Saturday.
You can't get tickets sold out already. I don't even know why I'm telling
you it's just sold out. So I want to remind you when Sam Morrell
comes and he is hilarious. He was a regular in Comedy Central's This Week
at the Comedy Seller. He was named one of the Comedy Central's Comics to
Watch in twenty eleven. He's performed multiple I mean, the guy's been everywhere
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, The Late Late Show with James Corden and
Conan. He's also had Stintson Last Comic Standing. He's hilarious. He'll be
here for one show Thursday June twenty seven, two shows Friday June twenty eighth,
and two shows Saturday June twenty ninth. You don't want to miss out.
Lock your tickets down immediately at Carlsoncomedy dot com. We are back at
round number three. Here we go now, love Bill, Love, keep
tea in a thirty peggag Jenny Lake whenever. Yeah, I'm sweet talking,
it'll comes over. I have a CD of saying it Captain Tineil's greatest hits.
Believe it or that, Oh I fucking believe yeah, because of a
funny feeling that you put on the Captain Chat and dance around in your tidy
whities with your microphone and boxer's bill. They're called boxers anyways. Remember you're
a boxer, dude, I'm a wrestler, but you don't do boxer briefs.
Boxer briefs. Yeah yeah, yeah, that are tighter. Yeah yeah
yeah. You don't know where the shot junk when needed. What. I
don't know what we're talking about. It was part of the Columbia you buy
buy one, get twelve free, so you know we djan DJing wedding.
This shitload of CDs going into the duel. I have a funny feeling this
is a group my sons have never heard. We should make a list of
I think my son's all three never ever heard. I would I'm thinking like
I could call my one twenty two year old son right now and go,
have you ever heard twenty two? Yeah? I'm thinking he's never heard this.
I would really really tempted to call him right now and say, just
see if he's ever heard of captain Neil. Yeah, I'm sure. Let
me tell you, captain, Let me tell you something. Tell me Captain
and Toil. Yeah, little they got some, they got some history.
They got that three songs, Doug, How freaking dare you? I think
they five gold. I think they went gold on a couple. But here's
the thing. He was a keyboardist, I'm pretty sure with the Beach Boys,
and he wore a captain's hat. I think his dad his real name
is Darryl Dragon, and his dad was a composer, and he wound up
with the Beach Boys and he wore the captain so they call them captain.
She was looking for to do a duo whatever they fall in love. She
I'm pretty sure sang backing tracks on Pink Floyd's The Wall. Wow. Yep,
almost positive for that. You can look at I know three songs muskrat
love. I wrote it down. Uh huh, leve will keep us together.
They just played and chop aund oh, chop around. Yeah, why
do I think they got one more? That? Roger Stewart is somebody covered?
All right, Let's take a look at their greatest hits. I don't,
Yeah, you can look that up. I want to try to see
if I can connect here to the road castor and then I will try to
call my son and see if he's ever heard of Captain Antonio, because I
am thinking that he has never heard them ever in my life, in his
life, my life, his life. Now they have I write the songs?
Now what I write the songs that make the whole world? No,
I don't. That was Barry Manilow, but they have it? Was it?
Then? No, somebody else wrote it. I forget who wrote it.
It was a member of a band, some band that wrote it.
And then their greatest hits is twelve hit twelve songs. I only know the
three. All right, Let's just see if Jordan knows. Hopefully he'll anskay,
I'm going to say no. I'm gonna say no as well. That's
what I think. What are you doing? Buddy? Just on my couch
watching TV. You got air conditioning? Oh yeah, all right? Uh,
that's it. That sounds exciting. I am. I'm on the podcast
and I want you to tell me. Have you ever heard this song before?
Can you hear it? Do you know this song? Jordan? I've
heard it before, but I can't place it? All right, So you
think you've heard this song before. I'm going to give you three I know
I've heard that song. I'm going to give you three bands, and you
guess which one it is. Is it a Abba, be, Captain Tanil
or c Fleetwood Mac? Well, I know it's not fleet that. Yeah,
well that that I'm go with Abba? Yeah all right, Yeah,
I'm proud of you. You got it wrong. I'm dancing. I'm proud
of you. I'm dancing in my dog shirt into a Uh say it a
bear, A dancing bear. That's a bear at a truck stop? Uh?
No, it's Captain and Taniel. But I just said I thought this
was a band like you and your brothers had never heard of in your life.
But maybe have you ever heard of? No? I have not heard
of. But I have heard that song before. I just can't I can't
think of where it you'll probably get to your grandparents' house, maybe on TV
or something. Yeah, that could be all right, very good. Anything
else going on? What's happening? Jordan could be going to Theuniversity of Saint
Louis to be a thrower. He's got one more year of eligibility because of
COVID. He goes for his masters. He can be on a D one
team. He was on a D one D two team with Roberts Wesley.
So what's the latest. Turns out I was wasting my time trying to get
three letters of recommendation. I only needed one. All right, So do
you submit everything? Yep, no, I'm just waiting here back, Okay,
Well, good luck. Thanks said all right, thank you for letting
me bother you. No, no problem, You're not bothering me at all.
Goodbye. I love you. That I'll noticed I didn't say love you.
I said thanks for loving me, bother. Yeah, I am.
I am five bye. Father of the Year And we want to present this
apple for Father of the Year. The nominees are Paul McCartney, Bill Moran,
Yeah, Mick Jagger, Yeah, Wiley Coyotes, Wiley Coyote super Genus.
I see that the surgeon general. Can you name who the current surgeon
general is. I met him the other day. You offer me a cigarette.
The Veck Murthy is his name? Veck Murthy is the surgeon general idea,
and he wants to have a cigarette style warning label on social media cigarette
style warning label on social media, because he says, and it was an
op ed that he wrote in The New York Times, it's time to require
a warning label on social media platforms. Stating that social media is associated with
significant mental health harms for adolescents may seem silly, but he says a warning
label would regularly remind both parents and kids that social media has not been proven
safe and there is no data or there is data, excuse me, that
shows the warnings on cigarettes have been effective. It's worth pointing out that ninety
five percent of teams between the ages of thirteen and seventeen say they use a
social media platform, and more than one third say they use social media almost
constantly. The Surgeon General actually doesn't have the authority to add his own labels.
That requires a congressional action, which means nothing will come of it in
the end. But I don't know you have a a how old's your nephew
fourteen fourteen. I got a fourteen year old son. I don't know that
a warning label is going to do anything unless you start showing like ugly commercials
where someone's committed suicide. I mean, we've there have been people who have
committed suicide on Facebook live. Like I remember this one girl was just hanging
in her backyard and had put the camera on live and then it was somebody
came to the front door. My parents didn't know where she was. She
was out in the backyard. Hang yourself, hanging in whatever, however the
proper turn to the way to phrase it. Here's the thing I don't I
mean, bullying has just gone up another not well and you want to be
included, you want to make friends. Yeah, and it's tough. And
we talked about this with friends a couple of years ago, that you know,
you're getting bullied at home. At least she can get bully shut,
you can go home shut. Now you want to be on Facebook and you're
this and somebody says something about you. It's just too many people regulated so
well, the are not regulated. There's not right to monitor. So I
I always think this way, why do we need to put labels on all
these things. I guess cigarettes, I can understand the cats out of the
bag there. But even when I was I'm sorry, I went to I
dropped somebody off of a uh, this is not a joke. And a
doctor's appointment at u of R off near Clinton Avenue and right up front there's
a big sign as big as a slight there is no smoking allowed on the
premises. I'm like, do we really need that in today's world? Yeah?
I mean the premises and they still tell you in the plane it's illegal
to smoke anywhere or in the bathrooms. Like really, if I didn't hear
this, would I be lighting up. I'm like, I don't know.
People may I don't know if you're apeans, you know what I'm saying,
Like there are people I have no idea. I think on the premises isn't
bad because I do think a lot of people think if they go outside they
can smoke. Yeah, so I guess that I smoke for years. Yeah,
look, I get it. But I even think sometimes all these warnings
and things, it becomes like, what where's your common sense? Okay,
common sense, but you're never gonna get it with social media. So let's
use social media. How do you protect your kids? How do you protect
adults? Don't tell me that there aren't adults out there that are all walking
around butt heard by something that happened. I've fucking seen it with my own
eyes, where people's entire moods change, not for what's happening in the space
they occupy at the moment, which could be work or home, or I
don't know, they could be in an island Wegmans. But they see something
on social media, not even a fucking text, and it just ruins their
day or it blows their mind and they're firing off, fighting back, and
I go, what is the what is the point of that? So does
the warning need to be just for teenagers? No, it should be everybody.
And the problem is you got no fucking self esteem. Stop looking to
other people to make you look feel good. Don't get your happiness from someone
else. They're they're gonna let you down for me. Don't get your happiness,
don't You've been laughing a lot this, Yeah, no, but I
get it. But what I'm saying is your your internal happiness. You start
depending on somebody else, Eventually they're always gonna let you down. So the
thing is, how do you People just will they can't. You're like,
if you had a girlfriend should be disappointed within a fucking day, it would
take that long, all right, six hours? Six hours? No,
But I'm saying, like, let's say you did, and things are going
great, and Doug's doing all these things and it's magical, and it's going
three weeks, we're into a new the first month and it's and Doug's doing
his Captainield gay dance or whatever he does, and everybody's happy. And then
all of a sudden, something comes along where you just can't be worse.
She wants you to be at the moment and she's disappointed. Well I know,
But the point is, like your overall happiness really can't come from other
people, It just can't. You got to find it internally in you.
You're right, and you still human. That's what's going to happen. I
understand that. But what I'm saying is, if you can build a kid's
self esteem, if you can make the kid. And this is where I
think sports are wonderful. We're seeing a decline in overall sports. Football's down
participation twelve point two percent, the largest state that is down in is New
York state. I think it's the concern about concussions and things that is a
real concern. I can't deny that. I father of the Year had a
son who got a spinal concussion, couldn't move his legs, he could no
longer play football. That's why he's the thrower we just talked to. And
yet I let his fourteen year old brother play. Who broke a foot,
broke an ankle, did all this stuff. I liked what football taught.
I liked that you could have an ugly job, but it was important for
the play to be executed properly, you know. Resilience, uh, just
all these things, fighting adversity, all that shit. I think football was
a great example of that. But building self esteem in the kids is what's
the most important. And just blowing smoke up their ass and tell them they're
fucking wonderful is not gonna do that, Doug. It is not. Nor
is taking videos of yourself and posting then no, big no, it's not.
But we're not right. If you have four people watching it in somebody
at schools, yes, yes, I have twenty people watching it exactly exactly,
and then you feel like a loser. So the thing is you got
to find something internally. You gotta like help the kid. If the kid
learns that they're good at this and they can feel good about that, that
that's what it has to be get. It's fucking social media. It's everybody.
We're reaching for it. We're all reaching for like, no, you
can't, and I don't expect to. But my thing is, why is
this all of a sudden going to be a government problem. We want government
and more shit. You want government and more shit. And I'm not even
one of those people that would be I get it. There are programs and
things that benefit okay, but we need more. We need regulation on this.
No, you want your speech regulated. You want stuff. I mean
it already is to a certain extent. People wind up in face. Here
is a great one. My brother goes, people send them all these TikTok
video, funny videos, funny, that's funny that he doesn't have a TikTok
account. So he signed up for TikTok and found out has he has a
lifetime ban? He goes, I've never even signed up for TikTok. He's
got a lifetime ban. It doesn't understand why. But the point is they
do some policing with that stuff. And we've heard of people, but the
bullying, it's not just kids, it's adults. Adults are on the talking
ship all the time. Come on, people, No, I don't either,
I don't. I only post my funny my Friday. I want to
tell you what my fav uh. Oh those shitty things for you make that
face? Yeah you got you know us those get yeah? Yeah, like
one point two thousand or something. Yeah, yeah, I tried to put
my cucumber in your mouth. That's great. I think I think that's very
good. Yeah, and people don't depend on they have to be funny.
But a few people are like, if we don't do it, hey,
where is it? Is it? Well? You know it's now I kind
of I was thinking about putting those on TikTok. Put them on TikTok.
See what happened, See what happens. Grow that's what you want to do.
Do you want to get you want to grow your comedy? Yes,
that's right. So I go fifteen to twenty to thirty and then to forty
five in an hour. Then you're featuring headlighting. Yes, right, right,
right, right right, as long as you've heard done on stage an
hour? Have you okay? Yeah? Yeah? Do you remember you remember
it? Oh? Yeah, it was it good? Yeah, it was
yeah. I did it for I did it years ago. I was going
to say, at the spencer Port Fireman's Exempt Club, and not the time
where I pitched them all off recently. But this was actually they it was
a I was the comedy they had me and they asked me to do forty
five minutes. I went an hour and we just it just killed. But
it was one of those things where once you got them all laughing, you
could have just you could have said almost anything and it just would it would
have worked. And that's the great thing is when people are there for comedy,
that stuff's great, right. I remember I told you, I think
I told you. I was in Soho once down in New York City and
they're handing out fly hey, come in, free comedy, free comedy.
It's like a Tuesday. So I go in there. I was actually with
my brother and my wife at the time, and uh, they had writers
for the Chris rock Show when he had the HBO show, and that guy
was getting so pissed off because nobody was laughing, but it's not. Nobody
was coming in that mindset for comedy was just to get out of the fucking
rain and get a drink, and these comics were gonna be up there.
Now are people coming Thursday to be in a comedy motor that you think?
I'm sure? Hope? So gambling motor? Well, either a little bit
of both, that's all right. I mean it's okay take a gamble and
maybe you let it in. I don't know. That could be the thing?
Are you? I love that you're nervous about this though, I really
do. I'm gonna plow right through my set and get up. No,
I'm not him joking. Just you gotta use it, eat it, feed
it, love it. Love that moment on the stage, it's you.
You're the center of attention. That's it. Do your little gay captain and
to Neil dance that you did that was fantastic. I think you can get
a lot of guys for that. Yeah, guy that this is gonna be
fun. It is and I'm I can't wait. Do you get so what
happened before a set for you? When you're nervous? Do you do you
get your pace around? No? No, not too much. I kind
of jump up and down. You jump up and down like before wrestling match,
you jump up and just get fired up. Yeah, it's happened.
I remember seeing a comic like on the SID I was on side of a
stage. I had just done that. I don't know, ten fifteen minutes.
This guy was going up next. He starts jumping up and down,
like his knees are coming up to his chest and he's all the way down
and down. I'm like, what the fuck is this? You know?
And I always go when you're trying that hard, when you're getting that psyched,
I know this is gonna be an absolute bomb fest? Was it?
Yeah? I can tell because you're putting too much fucking pressure on yourself.
You know what. I always think this being nervous, it's appropriate, it's
excitement. Change it too. I'm excited. I'm excited to see you.
I'm excited to do this tonight. I'm so happy to see all your you
know, wrinkly crinkly old faces out here. And uh, this guy just
hit the jack pat on the slats. Would you get three prunes? Sir?
The old fucker. I think you're gonna kill I hope so I hope.
So you don't seem very confident, and I don't like that. Well,
you don't know what the room's gonna be, Like, what do you
mean you don't know the room? I don't know who's gonna be there.
Always go with the attitude that you're gonna kill. You're gonna kill, I'm
gonna kill. And here's the thing we're going in. We're gonna kill.
No, no, I like that. Here here, I'm gonna tell you
this. Okay, here's my thing. Being on stage is like trying to
woo somebody to bed, right, Well, yes it is. Okay.
You've got to charge, you have to have I get the jokes in the
material, but you gotta come across. They gotta like you. They gotta
like you. They gotta be entertained by you. They gonna like you were
great when that one year and then the next year you suck. But the
one, the one here you did. You had that, you had that
charm and that confidence. You just gotta bring that Dougie charm. Man,
I let it go. You get stiff. I think you get yourself all
stiff, like all uptight. When did when was I stiff? I don't
know. I haven't seen. I'm just getting that impression from you now.
I'm just saying to me. It's like think, I'm yeah, you just
what. I'm just here doing kids. Well, we did the show that
iron smoke. Did you feel I was stiff? Remember I because you took
a bath. No, I didn't take a bath. I didn't take a
bath. I lost some money on the show, but uh, that's true.
I did. Look, I always look at it this way. Hey,
you tried. I don't care. I'm gonna try everything, and if
it works, it works, if a does and does the new material that
night and friends, A lot of friends came out. I didn't. I
think I was talking to people in the back because there were people that I
hadn't seen in a while. So we were off to the side. Yeah,
and that is a tough place. I mean, I like the venue,
but for comedy, yeahs out there relaxed, you know, Yeah,
this will be this will be a great show. It's a really nice room
and you're gonna love it. And Dougie Fresh is gonna kill absolutely. That's
right. All you need is your license and be over eighteen. Come on
in. We're gonna have I know they're gonna have drink specials. It'll be
all kinds of fun. You can even get some ordures, a little food,
sit down, enjoy great loosen and sure for all the old ladies.
Yes, yes, that's right, Prozic, you had dug it in sure
and uh, that's gonna be perfect. All right, I get nervous.
I'm now getting nervous because you've seen uptight. I'm all right, fine,
that's it as long as it's good, because I can always there's another Phelps
who I know would love to be on stage. I know he would love
to be on stage. Dave. I know you watch it. I know
you love to be there. And if Doug Crap's to bed, we're going
right out to the audience. We're gonna get the hook halfway through like the
old Gong Show. We're gonna bring them off and we're gonna come out with
Jamie Fire. All right, we'll be back right after this etb Wood Fire,
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And here we are session number four, this time locked the doors, Send
the kids to the neighbors. Here he is your favorite of mine. I've
told you before, I'm telling you again, The Poindexter, the podcast,
the Admiral of the airwaves. Mister Bill Moran. Course this is for you.
Mother's for you. March my mother got saw my mother took the train.
Did your mother see rolling stones and cancer? I mean they turned for
ninety years No, they never did. My parents bought me tickets for my
high school graduation in nineteen eighty nine. How many times have you seen the
Stones? Ah? Geez. My brother and I were trying to figure that
out about seven I think about seven. Seriously, were you seven beers in
when you're trying to figure it out? No? But I saw them in
nineteen eighty nine for the first time as Shay the Old Say Stadium, and
that was Living Color opened up. That was October Living Color, Living Color.
Living Color was the band that Okay, no, I remember them.
So that was at Shay And then I saw them in ninety four at Giant
Stadium, and I took my brother and my father was really pissed that I
let him get I think he had a shirt that said the Stones have survised
sex, drugs, rock and roll, divorce, all thisef of my father.
My brother was fourteen. I let him buy the shirt or I bought
it for him. I don't even remember. He was at a shirt so
he I saw him then, and then I saw them. I saw him
in Buffalo Blues Traveler Open that show Buffalo at the Stadium or the Key band
No, Buffalo the Stadium stadium. Do they play anywhere that's not a stadium.
They once did a tour I didn't go to really disappointed. They played
a small club, a venue like a Key Bank, and then a stadium
in every city they were in, so they did three nights in the small
club. I would love to see the Stones at a small club. So
yeah, I saw him. I saw him at the Giant Stadium, and
then I saw him Buffalo, and I saw him in Syracuse, and then
I went, how would that be a small A small club? Then they
moved to the Key Bank. Yeah, so small club, say small club
like you go Water Street Music Hallway like water You got it exactly. Man,
it was tickets for that. I don't know, but that fucking coolest
shit in the world to because I gotta tell you, like I know that
I think it was. I thought it was Pete Townsend, maybe not,
or maybe John John Amilson's dead Roger Daltrey. I thought it was somebody from
the Who ye, or it could have been Robert Plant saying these are basically
they were just a bar blue. I think it was the Who band,
somebody from the Who saying the Stones are just a bad ball our blues band
or a bar yeah, yeah, yeah, but not even a great band.
They're just a bluesy bar band. And I was like, yeah,
and that's why I fucking love them, because they're raw, they're ragged,
their edgy. I love their songs. I love that. I just love
that grit. I love the fucking grit. There's a song that I loved
by them from Exile on Main Street Rocks Off. It's one of my absolute
fits. They didn't know. They didn't play They played a lot of the
popular ones, but they played Sympathy for the Devil. They did do a
heartbreaker, which was they let fans vote on a specific song in each city,
so they played Heartbreakers, the winner for Cleveland. Then they played did
they play songs dedicated to anybody? Like? No, he didn't talk a
whole lot in this show. And that's where my brother's like, he talked
a lot in Seattle. I didn't, he goes, I don't know if
I was too drunk. He did say we came to Cleveland. We haven't
been in Cleveland in twenty two years. He said, we did come here
early on in our career, and no one showed up. Now they're at
a sold out, say I found that funny. Let me see if I
can find rocks off because this is this to me is like vined stones.
I fucking love this. It's like, you know, just dirty filthy.
You think it is a good first date, Like, hey, no,
no, I don't. I don't even know what a good first day is.
So that's why you're asking me. See I love this right here?
This is to me like if they played this song, I think I may
have shizzed and it would have hit the stage. I would have hit making
an ear. I say, it would have shot like a rocket. Elon
Musk would have gone, Holy shit, you got a launch pad in your
pants? See what's all? So? Uh a good first date? Did
you say? Is Abbot's a good first day? I think so. I
think Abbas is a great first day. And you can see how she eats
an ice cream. That's exactly what I was thinking. That's right, she's
how long it spiler around and deep? Ah? Right, so you used
a lot of teeth. Yeah, well it's called now but I mean that's
where there's a lot of tongue. But then I can see teeth tracks out.
We got a problem here. That's a great first date, that she
likes sprinkles or yeah, oh right, yeah, what does that mean?
She didn't want chocolate twist? Chocolate twist? I'd like to be a banana
split. Yeah, what does a banana split means? I don't know.
We knew we should make up a Mexican Sunday. Maybe she's, oh she
likes it hot, Yeah, spicy, different language, uh huh? Oh
a moon pie? Maybe a moon pie, moon pie. She's in the
universe, Yes she is. Oh, she's she's a hippie. She's a
hippie. A hippie. I mean, different women drink different things of bars.
If you see somebody, just do a shot after shot, you can
you know if somebody's drinking wine, maybe a little more for uh, they're
drinking beer. Are you out with me? No? You remember that dirty
martinis? And no no, I can't do that fucking ship dirty martini with
you. You love them? Oh God, Doug, they fucking you.
It's like you're roofy somebody. Hey, baby, so they came out to,
uh start me up. It's only rock and roll, but I like
it. Let's spend the night. Let's spend the night. I have angry.
I don't know Angry is a new song. That's a new one from
Uh Hackney Diamond Do Do Do, Heartbreaker, Heartbreaker, Monkey Man, Monkey
Man, I Love you Don't know Monkey Man, Oh yes, monkey Man,
Whole Wide World, tumble Dice, You can't always get what you want?
Okay? Yeah? Little Straight No, little teen a, hand tell
me straight being little tena. Were all Keith Richards. He came out and
they actually sang now in and I saw, I saw them and it might
have been Giants Stadium in ninety four and Keith sanging. They booed, Oh
yeah, they booed. But I've seen him at the Stars Fest they did.
Does Mike go off stage? Yeah he does? Yeah, Mick went
off stage. And this was all Keith. Keith had a band I loved
called the Expensive Winos. Uh. You know, most people aren't gonna like
that kind of music, but I just love that. That really bluesy.
Yeah. What was the what was the song of the whole Yeah, Sympathy
for the Devil they did, Yeah, Hockey Talk Woman, Miss You Gimme
Shelter painted Black, Jumping Jack Flash Yeah, and the iencore was I Can't
Get No says A can't get No, sat tis Faction. I don't remember
much of the end after Happy, I don't recall many of the songs after
Happy, you know, after Heavy Happy was a third song in No it
was I was talking to my dad and uh, he goes, uh,
it's like you and your brother had a good time. And I think my
dad was really pleased, Like, I don't know anybody who doesn't speak to
their siblings. I don't know that. My father's like he thinks that there
are any many people who don't speak to their siblings. He and his brother
always got along, and I said, I don't think I know anybody who
doesn't. He's like there's a lot of them out there. And you know,
it was like he was really excited that we were going to the show.
And then he called me today to kind of find out how the show
went, and he said, h yeah, you guys had a good time
and I said, ah, yeah. I said, uh, he goes,
have you recovered? And I didn't want to say I'm feeling it more
today. It's like a car actually a couple like two three days after the
car accident, you go, God, damn, my shoulder really fucked up.
My shoulder not too long ago, I had a really bad Sarah,
and I think it took me a day and a half recover. I can't
remember what he was doing though. Well, this is like delayed reaction.
I worked, I ran, I did everything, but today it was like
sometimes, Yeah, it just took a while to catch up to you.
So my father's saying and I said, he goesh, do you guys drink
a lot? And I said, ah, what do you think, dad?
I go, we drank a palette each And he goes, if you
were fifteen, i'd care. Why did you ask? Well, he was
just making, yeah, making a conversation. That was the thing. Well,
well, here's the thing now. I don't know if you've seen this
or not, if it's correlated to your business that you work in the hospitality
business as a bartender. They are seeing liquor sales go down. Yes,
not not significantly, but there are I had a liquor salesman say to me,
yeah, I'm down now. Liquor sales were always something that we thought,
or at least I believed, were recession proof, good times or bad
times. I'm drinking. I'm drinking because I feel good. I'm drinking because
it's shitty. I'm drinking. I'm drinking and drinking, And it was always
like if you went in I think even during COVID, right you went into
a market View liquor or any of these other liquor name, any liquor store,
there were lines sometimes, right, So it was the only thing open,
Yes, it was. It was the only thing open. But even
during like I think like eight, when the economy was rocky, liquor was
doing fine. You know what I mean, you got to catch your little
buzz. So now it's I'm wondering, is it the We've been talking about
this for a while, that the drinkers are are dying off and there's nobody
replacing him because THERE'SMMI gummies. Marijuana is legal, so you don't have to
sold to a bar. I just stay at home and Papa Gummy and Papa
Gummy and hey man, hey man. Well look, I like drinking for
the social aspect. I like drinking because I can I know my throttle even
though I go right fucking through it, like like Evil Knievel. There's an
old reference for you. I'm like Evil Canievel trying to make it over the
fucking mountains. I can make those fifty right over. I can't do it,
so ushing into the twelfth dollars, you got it, I go right
coming back, hitting the bathroom door and the like, this is the last
time I'm ever going to make this job. And white Wall Sports like,
yeah, we're gonna cover him in August. So I had an evil Knievel
toy. I had the motor and I used to rev it up, and
I had the It was almost like a rubbery doll of evil and evil.
He had the helmet and the outfit. He was almost like the Elvis heltfit
that he would wear. He was a dick. Did you ever watch that?
There's a documentary about what Ricky? Yes, I love it. I
love it, like broke every bone in his body, still in the Guinness
Book World records for most broken bones. Yeah, no, ship, Yeah,
I didn't know that. Look at that. This podcast side was just
I'm gonna be featured in uh Rochester Women's magazine for what they're doing Men's edition,
and uh they sent me a bunch of questions. So I've been chipping
away at the questions, writing thoughtful answers. What are some of the quest
Well, what inspired you to get into radio or media in back in the
day, and I wrote one of the things I loved about radio and now
with podcasting it's not so much the same because we have cameras and things.
Is I loved imagination. So there was a guy when I was nine or
ten on a top forty station in my hometown and he was building the world's
largest meatball in the parking lot. And I could fucking see it, you
know what I'm saying in my head, I could see it. That's so
fucking cool. I want to be there. I love the voices and the
silly jokes and the stuff I go. I want to play with these guys.
That's what I want to do. And I think that words and can
paint pictures. And I think that, you know, I used to say
that words, you know, words don't hurt and this and that, But
I think words are, actually, now that I've gotten older, very powerful.
And if you use to write words, you can be as funny as
you want to be. You can be as hurtful as you want to be.
I have a real gift of a very sharp tongue when I'm mad,
and I can come and with words and it can really hurt people. So
anyway, that was one of the questions, and that's one of my answers.
Something along those. I think that's being missed in the society younger society
of vocabulary words. I don't. Yeah, I remember having to do vocabulary
words every day grammar school and then tell you something. You get it,
you walk in a class. Why, I just me, I've always interrupted
you. I have. I grew up with somebody who has a dictionary that
I guarantee you don't know anybody who has this dictionary in their house. Okay,
it is the Oxford Underbridged Dictionary of Regional Slang. Never even heard it's
what I'm saying. My fucking father we talked about words like he had the
word which now has gained some popularity because it's a sort of a funny word.
But back in nineteen eighty five, we were saying fard f a r
D. It means to apply makeup. Ort was the little crust on the
or like whatever scraps were on your plate was called orts, and you're gonna
eat those orts. You sounded like morons, right, because he didn't know,
but these were all words. He has one of the most amazing vocabularies
ever, and I remember him. He would always brag, eh, I
took the the l sat or not the l sets the whatever it is for
what grad grad record exams, and he got a perfect score on English.
I remember my year in the fourth grade, says, can you use fascinating
a sentence? I go sure. I got my aunt aunt Donna a sweater
with ten buttons, but her tits were so big she could only fascinate little
dirty Johnny, little dirty eight getting the coutner add more, But I don't
know, So let me just bring this up for the gummies. Okay,
So, yes, the dying breed, the drinking breed is dying off.
Yeah. Yeah, Well that's a great point because my old man was a
big drinker. He does not drink anymore, but he used to. So
he loved Manhattan's pre made Manhattans. And then I remember their thirty fifth wedding
anniversary party that we threw from my parents when they were they I think their
marriage lasted thirty seven and then they just okay, we made pictures of Manhattan's
and an old aunt was like all excited, right, she was drinking them.
I was drinking, and my brother was drinking. Yeah. Really yeah,
I don't drink whiskey, so but I've made a ton of them.
If you're actually going to have a get together with some of my friends.
We joked about that. The Sherlotte boys, they're kind of spread out now.
They're in Hilton and Victor and Webster. They all get the absolutely I'm
in there. Another buddy's down. Anyways, I'm like, hey, when
don't we have a happy hour in my house and I'll just I'll get all
the makings and I'll make sure Manhattan's and uh muddle Ottle fashions are like I'm
in like, fuck, yeah, get together, bring the wives over my
small little place. Drink Martinez. Yeah the uh what's gonna be dirty or
the place of the Martini. But Howie Mandel's wife, You gotta find a
picture of Howie Mandel's wife. She took a header in Vegas. She fucked
up her face bad, really bad, Like she's got bruised eyes, the
whole scary. Well it's bad too, Yes, it is, because when
you take aheader, we think that's how we people think. That's how Bob
Sagat died. That something happened with Bob and he hit his head he fell
in his hotel room and whacked his head. Some people think it's because he
got the COVID shot in it. Yeah, I know, you never know.
It could be uh so, but Howie Mandel's wife is all banged up.
People were going and how he came out saying she was not drinking.
This is not a drinking thing. Blah blah blah. Now they're going she
had a gummy. Oh she had a gummy, And sure enough. And
I'll tell you what, if you don't know what you're doing with the gum,
you can really I don't like. Well that okay, So that's where
with alcohol again, I go back to I kind of know where the throttle
is. I can have two three, I'm fine, or we're just gonna
floor it, or or we're going right evil and we're going fucking evil.
Can evil right into the side of the canyon. That's fine. What's the
matter? You get to call get a text? Who's this? I think?
Oh? That was my nephew. Was he trying to call you?
He just he just walked by. Oh he just waved. Yeah, oh
yeah, he was poking his head in. He's at the Chinese restaurant.
Tell him to come in, we can have an interview. All right.
So what I'm saying is these gummies you can't unless you know what you're doing.
Like the five miligrams are good. So my father, who never alcohol
but nothing else. I think he smoked cigarettes when I was many many men,
many years ago, so he wanted to He's been wanting to try these
gummy He keeps going, Hey, how about those gummy bears? What do
you think of the gummy bears? My mother was with my brother and she
had one, and my brother called me and just put her on FaceTime and
she's just laughing around. Yeah. So I said to my father, I
go, hey, listen, it's either Stevia or you gotta do Indica.
But Indica would be in the couch. So you want to just kind of
hang and be You want to make sure that you know the Stevia will make
you laugh. That'll be the one to make you laugh, and then that'll
be good. Doug's nephew just walked in. Yeah, Nikki G Nicki g.
He works in social media somewhere. NICKI sit on the end the end
one there, that's easier one than that way we can we can. I
thought that was you. I'm like that, can't be NICKI, what are
you doing out here? I was literally just walking by Fairport on a date
right now, and I like saw the podcast Studio Girls. We're looking at
the Chinese restaurant on the corner, so she's like, all right, I'll
look at food. I'm gonna come say hi. We were just talking about
first dates and is this a first date? No, no, no,
no, this is you guys been dating for a while. It's like within
the first month. Can I tell him what we discussed? Yeah? Are
you sure? Yeah? About taking a first date to an ice cream?
Problem? Heard worse? Yeah, okay, because we said four twenty six
and we just got ice cream, so okay, well, yeah, we
were saying that way we're going to go. Did you watch how the ice
cream? She like, I love it was with a with a bolts.
It was a lot more Yeah, yeah, kind of dainty. That is
dainty and night. Yeah. Yeah, well there you go, very old,
but no speak how long you've you been dating. It's been almost exactly
a month. Oh no, like a month and a half. Actually,
okay, there you go. Very good. He's got three siblings doing better
than Doug. Yeah, right, it's you know, when they get married
before I do, it's just gonna be gonna be taking care of me,
nursing home, wiping my assy. What do you do? Give me some
he's of the age, like gummy or or are you doing a gummies?
You don't drink like weed gummies and stuff? Yeah, Like I drink socially,
but gummies are the thing where it's like if I finish a day at
work and I'm like there's an anime, I gotta binge, or I just
want a vibe, I will pop a gummy and I just like lay back.
Yeah. I have cats, I have a dog, and so we
just vibe together. Yeah, did you give them the gummies too? I
have had not. My cat's getting the gummy phole gummies. One time I
popped a gummy my cat overdosed on cat n it by accident. And I
was like at my desk, like leaning back, and my cat's like twenty
pounds, and so she jumps up on my lap and like matches my energy,
like tummy up, like just staring at the screen. She's like,
Yo, what's we watching? That's a good night, that's a good night.
Well, the gummy we're saying that they're seeing like alcohol sales have gone
down a little bit because of what they believe maybe the marijuana legalization of marijuana
in some areas that people are just kind of staying home or doing that instead.
And a lot of times if you mix the two, it can be
you know, well, you know, you get a little message of wine
and then back in the day you might bring your kids to the bar and
get Super Bowl squares or something, you get cocktails, and now you don't
do that, and Grandpa goes out for maybe one or two and his son,
but then the sun's son to go out to just pap a gummy And
that's pretty much what like everyone my age does. Now. None of my
friends drink, except for like if we're at a place where it's like,
okay, we'll squeeze in a beer too, But for the most part,
it's like, okay, once we're done for the night, though, well,
Papa gummy will hit a pen or something and then we'll just let it
take a vape pen. Yeah, something like that, Like what did you
think there's also like weed pens and one do you think it was your apartment?
A pig pen? Yeah, he's on a roll call him. But
Doug's gonna be doing a comedy show Thursday night at the Remedy it Fingerlakes Gaming
and Racetrack. You have to eighteen and bring your license. That's it.
That ID you just have. Okay, yeah, and it's that's it.
Don't take what's your girl's name, Ankita Akita? Yeah she's from India.
Oh okay, where was the show? Figure like skiming, and then well,
yeah it should be fun. Yeah, all right, I should bring
some They are good kids kids. He seems like a very nice, bright
guy. I'm like, slightly biased, but I think we're pretty cool.
I think I wish I had a text a little more often. But I
met your parents. I'm just the uncle that you know that was cool Beck
in the day, Very cool Uncle Charlie. Uncle Doug. Here was the
one where we'd like, he would take me on a car ride and we'd
be blasting a c DC the whole time, and then we'd go to like
garage sales and he'd be like, all right, listen up, and we
go to like the comic section. He's like, here's X Men from the
nineties. He's like, I read this one. He's like, you get
you'll like these ones, and so a lot of my like comic book taste
is a little kid, and I love comic books now. Was like from
him taking me to different place and be like, all right, so here's
super Friends and he's like, I was working on a screenplay for Superman last
week actually, and I was like hell, yeah, all right, Like
that's pretty dope. What happened to that same thing words of the movie,
it's it's in the computer someplace. Why aren't we looking at that? Because
you need money for that to happen, you know, now I forget it.
Why are we looking at it to laugh at it? Ah? It's
so funny what I want to see? You want to He's trying to get
my movie A Night of a cat at uh at a drive in Newark.
Yeah, that'd be pretty rad. I still haven't seen that. You haven't
seen it. I know because when it came out, I was like,
I want you to uploaded so I can nothing. Yeah that was twenty years
ago. I want you uploaded the computer or my computer so I can put
it on websites and YouTube. We were texting about that a while ago,
yes, and I was I'm so down, but I don't have a copy.
Okay, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna make it time.
I'll because I'll make you a meat loaf deal. I love those meat
loafs. I used to cook for the kids. Yeah, I'm that father,
but that was my thing. I would cook for the whole family.
And what I mean, I mean spaghetti meatballs for six eight. I hear
the meat loaf was like Christmas every week because there you got a meat loaf.
My mom only made spaghetti and unseasoned kickd and so I grew up like
not liking either one because I was like, oh my god. But when
it was meat loaf night, hell yeah, all right, well those two
out of three? Eight man, all right, Dougie Fresh in the house
Thursday, seven o'clock. That's romany finger Lakes Casino, finger Lakes Gaming and
Racetrack. We'll see you there. Bring a valid I D Show kicks off
at seven Dougie Fresh, Greg Owins and Bill Moran. That's right. Greg
Wentz is the headliner. Doug is your feature. I will be your MC
for the evening, and we are gonna have ourselves a blast. We're gonna
have a great time, absolute blast. I can't wait, me neither.
But if Doug Phelps doesn't work out, we can always go to the Felts.
Just saying, just saying, I love Busty, I know you do.
Go get up hill and that him Bill Moran will see you tomorrow.
I woke a big holdtail, didn't know what to do. I'm trying.
A TV won't rule. A letter to you starting not a danger, the
mom in interstate