Bottled Up Bitches is hosted by a horny married couple. Content may include adult
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It's season five. Welcome back to Bottles of Bitches, your favorite sex
podcast hosted by already married couple with me Rihanna Campbell and me producer Man Adam.
Sex shouldn't be taboo or embarrassing, so let's talk about it. Stay
good, Horny bitches. Good morning, Good morning. How are you.
I'm good, I'm tired. I'm ready for today to be over, to
be over. Yeah, this has just been the longest weekend. This weekend
felt like, did it? Yeah? Like work wise, Yeah that's fair.
Yeah, same for me as well. I think you and I are
kind of looking actually looking forward to Christmas a little bit. Yeah, I
think we're looking forward to leaving town. So it's I feel like December went
by so fast as a whole, and then yeah, this like week and
it's been longer. Yeah, yeah, but I feel all right. Yeah,
yeah, I don't know if we've recorded an episode this early. Usually,
I got to give you like an hour and a half of no talking
time to let you gather your brain because I am not a I'm more of
a night owl, yeah, and not much of a morning person, and
you are. I would describe myself as kind of like a little bit of
a you're a little bit of a hybrid. Yeah. I think you're very
It's dependent on the day. Ironically, I think I'm a little bit of
both. What makes it which makes it very hard for you because I'll stay
up late, yeah, and then I'll get up early, and you're like,
my damn. Yeah, yeah, you're not wrong. I love the
mornings. Yeah, but I also like, just stay up late. I
just love you. I just won't spend as much time as I can with
you. Yeah, So I'll stay up really late and then I wake up
early. Yeah, just staring at you. Yeah yeah, getnything's done.
Something about the quiet calm of the morning. I like it. I like
to let you sleep for another hour or so and I'll come and work in
the office and get things done and stuff. I like that quiet time.
Yeah. Yeah, I should try it. I should. I think I'm
like, I think I can be. I think I can be a morning
person if I don't have like work. Yeah, if we have to wake
up early for a purpose, yeah, but waking up with outer purpose early
is super easy and it's nice to like just take your time into the day.
Yeah. Yeah, I enjoyed that because we do that a lot on
vacations. Well we do. We think like, oh we're going on vacation,
we're going to sleep with that no longer every morning at eight yeah yeah,
yeah yeah. Some people eight isn't very early. Some people consider early
like six. Sure, but that's kind of early for us. It's early.
Yeah, that's still breakfast time. Yeah, it is breakfast time.
Do you have say breakfast in Spanish? Nope, Nope, it's not.
It doesn't sound like it at all. No, how do you say breakfast
in Spanish? You know, you know, I think so hold on good
morning? Is buenos buenos dias? Uh huh? So like what was the
word looking at breakfast? Oh, breakfast. So it's almost like the first
mill of the day. It almost feels like it's how Yeah, though,
so I wonder what lunches we're learning Spanish? Guys, she should do al
moreso, al morezzo or al moreza. Oh wait, it'll tell us where
we should get better about. Just like just I thought about the other day,
I was like learning another language is just memorization. Yeah, but it's
it's it's just like repetitive, Like I feel like you have to It's just
like a repetitive thing. You just have to like introduce it. I've always
heard the best way to learn a language as an adult is you watch like
movies, movies, yeah, and put the subtitles on. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, I would agree, especially movies that we love that we've seen
a thousand times. You need to watch. Remember I told you I wanted
to do that once a week. Yeah, I wanted to watch a movie
in Spanish once a week. Yeah. That never happened. That never happened,
That never took off. Yeah we should though, we should. Yeah,
Well, how are you feeling now that you're coming to the tail end?
So those who have been listening for a few weeks, Adam's birthdays coming
up, and I've been doing a birthday countdown extrava goon za, and what
I do is every day he either gets a little gift or an experience.
You've already had your experience today, so we'll get into that in a little
bit. But do you want to talk about some of your favorite moments so
far? Because there's only three days left. We're recording this on Sunday and
on December twentieth, Wednesday, it is your birthday. Yeah, yeah,
it's been fun. I liked the Burlesque. Was a really good time.
I think the Burlesque was a nice surprise ever, a really good time.
We talked about in that episode. I was a little nervous about it,
but it ended up being like super fine, so that was like a nice
surprise. Nobody reached out to us about that about what I tagged. Uh,
yeah, I posted the trailer on Instagram, like I tagged the coffee
shop and all but two performers because they didn't have Instagrams, and nobody like
was like things for coming. Yeah, no one even liked the post.
Yeah, they're not impressed by it. They're not impressed by us. It
was a good show. It was a good show. I'd go back.
Yeah. I really enjoyed, uh going to see the Grimlins. Yeah,
in the movie theater Grimlins, Grimlins. That's a really fun Even though I
always mispronounced the title, always call it the Grimlins for some reason. It's
one of my favorite movies. And that was a fun experience because we watched
it high and it felt like I had seen them. There were so many
parts that I'm like, I can't remember this. I watched it for the
first time. Yeah, because the first time. I mean I've seen it
growing up here or there, but it's just not one for me typically,
so like I couldn't remember any details. And then we saw it last year
or the year before, probably the year before that. It's been a couple
of years. We saw it in the drive in movie and I had fun,
but we were like eating and like we had the you know you you
listened to him through the radio and remember we were too close, so like
yeah, and you kind of had to like we were like scrunched in to
try to see the screen. It was that an enjoy I more enjoyed being
at a drive in with you than I did the movie. I was like,
I'm like, yeah, I didn't sponge any of that movie. Yeah,
so yeah, I felt like watching it for the first time. And
at the end, I looked at you and I was like, this is
a Christmas movie. Yeah you did, because that's like a it is a
debate with me. It is a debate with you, So now can you
admit that catch me if you can is a Christmas movie. I have always
said, well, I don't necessarily agree that Catched Me If You Can is
a Christmas movie. I am willing to give you that if you were willing
to give me that Grimlins is a Christmas movie, because I'm gonna say right
now, Grimlins is much more of a Christmas movie than Cash Me as a
if you Can. Christmas is a core theme throughout the entire movie, and
it came out on Christmas. Christmas time. Yeah, but it's like the
majority of the movie does not have anything to do with Christmas. A lot
of it has He gets caught because Chris, whereas Grimlins the entire movie takes
place on either the day before, well the day before Christmas Eve to Christmas
Day. Correct, this is also a biopic. So my point being,
I will give you that Catch Me If you Can is a Christmas movie.
Okay, So now that you're willing to admit, so, what I'm hearing
is that we also need to make some time this week to watch Cash Me
If You Can't we always do during the holidays, we don't always watch it.
We didn't watch it last year, No, or the year before that
when we were at Westgate and we did our because we were getting all our
Harry Potters in. We have a lot of time for any Christmas movies.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, well we'll watch it this year. We'll
watch it this year. Yeah, we have a few days. Catch me
if you can. That's a good one. Yeah. So you liked Grimlins.
That was a fun surprise. You didn't know where we're going. I
didn't. I did not once. I once. I I kind of had
an idea once I realized we were going to the Alamo, because you had
me drive us there in the GPS and it was taking us. You just
kept being like it's an event, like we're going, it's scheduled, like
we have a time, we have to be there. Yeah, And where
we were going, I was like, there's nothing. What's over there?
There's nothing over there? I forgot there. There's an Alamo kind of weirdly
weirdly placed out of kind of away from where you think a movie theater would
typically be. So halfway there, I realized like, oh, there's an
Alamo there, that we must be going there, and you confirm that,
and I was like, well, I don't think there's anything playing like currently.
So I was like, it's probably going to be an older movie.
It's one of their like things. And I was like, I had an
idea that maybe it was going to be Grimlins boo, but I wasn't too
sure. And then we walked in, and if anyone's never been to an
Alamo draft house, whenever they do their older movies, like they show older
movies, they will like before the trailers and all that begins, they show
like clips of different random stuff relating, like for the Barbie movie, they
were showing like old Barbie commercials. Yeah, yeah, they do stuff like
that. So we walk in and I immediately see Paul Rubins like on David
Letterman's show, and I was like, are we watching Pee Wee's Big Adventure?
I was like, that's fun, but that's so random. I would
love to watch Pee's Big Adventure and an all my draft house. I think
that would be a really good time, especially high no I. That's why
I was like, Oh, that's really fun, but also like, what
a wild choice for her to make. I would have never thought this.
And then I saw him. He was like playing with a Grimlin toy and
I was like, oh, we're seeing we are seeing the Grimlins. And
I got very good Gremlins. Yeah, Pee Wee's Big Adventure. I would
I would see that and be like, we have to go socially for Adam.
And another one would be Hoofrey and Roger Rabbit. Oh, that would
be so much that theater. I would book that instantly. I need to
read the book. I have the book on audible from like years ago,
and I have that and I still haven't listened to it. Yeah, any
other standouts birthday standouts? Before we get into the last couple of days,
I try to remember, do you recommend this? Get overwhelmed by doing like
doing getting a gift or getting an experience every day, like having that much
attention on you for like twenty days straight. Like, how are you feeling
overall about the experience of a birthday count and extrava gunza. I think like
it's fun. I think I'm overwhelmed, but in a very Adam sense of
I don't like people making a big deal out of like, yeah, I'm
making it a big deal. Yeah. So there's like a part of me
that like feels bad for it, But that's just like an atom thing of
you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't feel bad, No,
I know, I know especial because we're doing a lot of quality time
things, so it's not like every day I'm like, let's go to Dragons
Player and I'll just sit there. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I'm very I'm just very much like I don't want people making
a big deal out of me. So there's just happened. No, I've
been having a really good time. Good. Yeah, I'm happy to hear
it. Yeah. Can we do something before we get started? Yeah.
You may have noticed on the table there is a gift I didn't notice that
there's been two other gift bags. I know. I thought maybe it would
blend in. It did because there was a red one here. I wanted
to give you part of your Christmas present Christmas early and do it on the
show. Oh, I hope. It's so much. There's a reason I'm
giving it to you early, I hope. So. Yeah, we have
the table that we do that's like in front of us. We put our
waters and the mice attached and stuff. There's a birthday bag and another little
red bag because I've just been like Christmas shopping and that was a bag from
your mom and you're just getting bags out of the way and stuff like that.
So I didn't notice this. It's literally a foot from me. I
did not notice it. Oh, I'm so excited it. Okay, item
number one because what if? What if that was the count Dens. You
didn't even give me the macha until like day five. Oh, that would
have been really good. That's a really good pissed if you just gave me
a little tiny strainer, a cup strainer. I know what this is for.
By the way, that strainer was a nightmare. That was legitimately Amazon.
I should have amazoned, but I get nervous about Amazon, and because
we share the same Amazon account, we do so. And I'm going to
give you the same suggestion that I do with you a lot. You have
to just text my mom. Yeah, I should have done that, and
she will send it to our address and you just ven her. So I
do that with a lot of your presence. Is I just have her buy
it. I venmo her and she'll send it here or send it to her
house, whatever we want. Yeah. So, so you went and bought
this in the wild. Everything I bought in the wild. Oh wow,
good for you. And I do enjoy buying things in the wilds. I
don't want to support Amazon. Yeah, I have it. This wasn't just
at the little Japanese shop. No, So everything I got was at one
place, except they had strainers, but they were like more for they were
more like tea infusers for a teapot, and so they were like square and
like kind of deep. They were a weird shape to get in there and
strain. So I ended up I did so much research ones, just so
many different places. I ended up finding that at just a Walmart. Really
well, well, I'll Amazon you like a cute one in the future for
the future, I know, but like one that's a little more Huten themed.
I don't know what that means. I mean this looks like I know,
but like one that's like looks not you know, maybe it has like
a wooden handle, like, oh, that's what I mean. An authenticity
Yeah, yeah, does this fit on a mug? Did you test it?
I didn't test it. Well it keep going, yeah, that's pretty
good. Keep going. Sorry, I s wreck your water. I'm sorry
it's touching it. That is. I don't have to get a new other.
Sorry, Okay, I got another item. Oh, I got my
that's authentic as heck. It is. The wooden whisk because Adam is clearly
getting me the items for me to make authentic macha at home, because right
now I just have like instant matcha that you just like stir into milk and
it's not authentic. I wanted to do the full straining and this I'm just
soaking hot water for a few minutes before I use it. What is this?
It's a little cup and it says made in Japan. Yeah. I
got to like because I know in all those videos they show them, they
like put it in a little cup and then oh is this my whisky cup?
Yeah? Oh my god, Funny got me a whiskey. Yeah,
that's so sweet. I was like, oh yay, I'm gonna have to
make ten watches. No, no, no, that's for the with the
whisky cut. Put my matcha in here and I straightened as it. That's
the question. Is it it'll fit? Kind of because that's what I have
to put it. I just strain it into this correct. Yeah, but
I don't think it necessarily has to like sit in there like that. No,
it just makes it easier. But like it'd rather be a little too
big than too small, so perfect little whisking cup. Oh what is it.
It's maya ceremonial maya. That's what I was told to get. That's
what I told you to get. Ingredients organic macha green tea powder. It's
from Washington. Product is this product of Japan but distributed in Washington. Fun
organic ceremonial Macha made from the tender young leaves of shaded tea plants. Enjoy
a sweet, vibrant aroma and smooth umami taste. Okay, best consumed within
a month after openings. I'll keep that in mind that once I start matching,
I gotta company. I can't do that thing where lead things in there
for five years and be like I love it. That comes from just like
a childhood of like I'll never get this again, so I must make it
last. Yeah, yeah, thank you baby. Everything looks so good.
I get to have a matcha today. You get to today. I'm so
excited. Thank you. Of course, I love you. That was very
nice. I love this bag. I love that we just keep reusing it.
It's a good bag. It's a fun bag. Well it's like an
artist bag. Yeah, it's like a bag that artlifting gave this to us.
I have not Oh I know who to me This came from my friend
for my birthday this past year, the one who gave me a vase.
Oh okay, she gave she got this. I think you get this at
like World Market. Yeah. It's called artlifting and it's this bag was made
by Connie Avery. Artwork is Rhapsody in Bloom. Artlifting empowers artists who are
homeless or have disabilities through the celebration and sale of their work. So it
is a gift bag that looks like one of their paintings. Yeah. Yeah,
I think that's special and we just like to reuse it. And I
love that for us, I just want to reuse. I'm a bag reusing.
Thank you for my early Christmas gift you. I love Macha. All
right, let's talk a little about your most recent birthday experience. Yes,
so last night I had a very long plan. Yes, sorry about it.
No, it was fine, and I got home maybe just like an
hour before you did. So it was a pretty jam packed plan. But
you got home. I had just gotten out of the shower. I had
you walk the dog real quick because I needed to heat you up some dinner.
Yeah, so he did you up a burger and fry. I got
earlier like an hour earlier. That were pretty good. Yeah, did you
like it? I could like it's little dry. Yeah, it was fine.
I mean it was like it was. It was a okay burger,
do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I'm sure with all
the fixing, it's even better. I gotta take you there. I'll take
you there for some much or something here soon. This is at the hotel.
Hotel, Yeah, that I had a wedding at and okay, and
then you ate, and then I had you take a shower, correct,
And then well you went to take your shower, you went, yeah,
because I opened the bathroom door and you had like candles lit. The lights
were off, you had candles lit. You had a real mood set that
uh an incense not incense forever candles, which is lamp oil in a big
rock big rock well. But then a diffuser, That's what the word I
was looking for. You had a diffuser going. You had to saw lamp
in there. It was quite the little mood setting moment. Did you feel
relaxed? I did good, No, it was nice. And then yeah,
I took a took an edible. I took an edible, So yeah,
I got in the shower and kind of like as I was in the
shower, the edible kicked in. So it was a nice, like really
relaxing I like scrubbed down, yeah, and then just sat in the tub.
Oh you did well. The water was raining on me for a while.
The longer shower. I think he thought that was like the end of
the experience. Uh, not necessarily. I did not know that the next
pride was coming, but I knew because you were like, take a shower
and then you know, I knew that maybe something, but I didn't know
what it was, what it was, but I was I was like,
I'm gonna take my time in here. Yeah, you did to take your
time. I loved that for you. My edible didn't kick in until we
were in bed. Yeah, And that was fun for me though, I
think because after you got out, I was like, great, now we're
both clean, because like we both had just like long days. It was
like it was showered day. Yeah. So now that we're both showered,
I drew us a bath because I wanted us to take a bath together in
our bathtub, which we haven't done one time since we've lived here. We
lived here almost a year. Yeah, And because I've gotten so many bath
salts and all kinds. I get tub stuff all the time, reside gifts,
and I just haven't used any of them. So I was loaded with
product and I got this sake bath oil. It's from Fresh Tent and recommend.
It's like eighty dollars. I didn't pay for it. It was a
gift, but it's gorgeous in this big glass bottle. It's like honey,
consistent, thick like sake. It does because it's a traditional way that Geishas
would also like seem like we're really like I am Japanese philes. I am
especially in this I tell you about how growing up I had a Japanese theme
bedroom. Yeah, my mom got me. I have like I had like
a paper umbrella like hanging in my room and paper lanterns in my room.
You know a lot of my furniture, we don't have it anymore. My
red furniture, my red wood, a dark redular used to have my dresser,
yea, and then my nightstand. I finally got rid of it.
That has like Chinese not China. Maybe it is Chinese, but I don't
know what land. But it has like calligraphy on the handles. My mom
got me an entire bed set that was like themed dark red cherry wood.
Yeah, those those when I become rich and famous, those pictures will surface
of me dressed up as a gay show and I was like eight in white
face, sorry, like in white face, so the red lip. You
know. We went to party City and got me a geisha outfit. No
super super into into the specifically I did not. I wore socks with flops,
sure yeah, but they weren't like made for that, so it was
awkward as hell. Yeah, and then I was really into it. I
blame uh Gwen Stefani a lot for it. Oh sure, she had her
l A m B Alb album, the Love Angel Music Baby album, which
was all Japanese inspired here Juku inspired, and I was balls deep. I
like, I know every word to that album. I have every I had
l A m B her uh clothing line. I had her clothes and her
handbags, and I was Gwen Stefani was like before Lady Gaga. I was
obsessed with Stefani and she's been appropriating culture for years with it because didn't she
have like a Bendi for a while, yeah, like during that well and
no even like back in no doubt days. Yeah, yeah she's been.
Yeah, she's out there appropriating left and right, but god bloods Gwen Stefani.
So yeah, I have always been super specifically the Japanese culture. I'm
sure some of it overlaps and I don't know that I'm just not educated enough
in all the cultures, but uh, yeah, I have been always been
that way. That's fair. I think I just like Mexican culture. I
guess is that for me? Yeah, yeah, yeah that is for you.
You you always you take that, take that on. You love it,
the food and everything. So yeah, we to get in our bath
and we're soaking. We have to have a face mask. I did put
a face mask on us. I did. I put face masks on us,
which was a honey hydration mask, and it felt like just pouring.
It just felt like rubbin honey. Yeah, yeah, I was on that
face and yeah, we did a little face mask. We had our hair
up to dry, and we just kind of took turns in the tub because
it's you know, it's tall, but it's not very wide and you're you're
big, and puting two people in the tubs tough. So we just kept
like kind of alternating areas, one of us on the back, one of
us on the other side with the faucet the spout, and we just caught
up on the day. Yeah, and I loved that. It was really
nice. I liked just talking to you about our days and everything and relaxing
and we got nice and soft. We had detoxifying EPs and salts in there,
and the sake bath and something else. There's something else that was put
in there, wasn't there. I think it was just two things. I
think I just put in the bath salts and then the sake got it,
the sak oil. So yeah, and that was nice. That was very
nice. It was weird. It felt like we were in there forever,
but in like a good way, like but it went by quick. Does
that make it feel like a waste? Yeah, I feel like, okay,
we're in and out by feel. It does feel like we took our
time. I think we were only in there for like twenty five thirty minutes.
Oh really, it felt like we were in there for a very long
time. But I enjoyed it. Yeah, yeah, good because I know
you're not a big fan of hot Yeah, it wasn't too bad. Once
I got used to it. It wasn't It wasn't too bad. Yeah,
I took some I knew you were hot, like I, although I it
try to navigate the temperatures. It was a little steamy in the beginning for
both of us. But you had finished your drink and I rubbed ice cubes
on you help cool you down, especially because like it's just your like tours,
like your legs are in the water and your whole torso is like out
of the tube. So I was rubbing some ice cubes on you to help
cool you down. That was a good like juxtaposition. Mm hmm. No,
it was a nice time. And yeah, we just sat there and
talked. Yeah, we're rich and famous, have all the money. I'm
gonna get us a big ass bathtob that we both fit in, I know,
big ass bathtub and a shower with the rain a rainfall shower head,
fall shower head. Yeah, we can get those anywhere. You can get
those on Amazon. It's just that they're not going to be from the ceiling.
They're not gonna be like the right height for you. They're still gonna
be pointed up awkwardly. We'll get there one day. We'll get there day
and then we got out and we laid in bed. I had intention for
us to have sex, but we didn't. We didn't. We actually just
kind of like stare at each other and talked for We talked for a while.
Yeah, and we giggled and we were just laughing. I wish I
can remember some of the scenarios. We were making, cracking jokes left and
right. I can't remember what we were talking about, though I knew it
was gonna happen. Yeah, I was like, I want to record these.
Yeah, I don't remember. We had theories, we were changing,
the words of things were. Yeah, we were playing, we were giggling.
We were laughing so hard. Yeah, and I don't remember what any
of it was about. It was so funny. We need to invest in
like Lava air mics. Yeah, you should have stole them from work that
one time. I know, you like took them back like a good boy,
like a week before. I know, and in the day of when
I got fired, I gave them back some of their technology too, because
I've just been helped. Nobody knew that I had those that iPad, yeah,
the iPod. Yeah. Had I known I was gonna get fired,
I would have kept those fuckers. Yeah, me too. I took their
mirror. We have their mirror, their mirror, Yeah, we do.
We need to invest in mice or just like make sure to turn the recording
butt not on our phone, that's true, just to reflect on it,
just so we can hear it later talk about it. I guess it's true.
We could put like which you don't really like them, but even just
having like the Google head phones, it's not that I don't like them.
They don't fit in my yes, yes, correct, Sorry, I didn't
need to put that on car. Yeah, like I literally it doesn't fit
in my ear. Yes, But having a way to just like record us
while we're just like goofing around. Can you imagine telling someone like we don't
really like to walk. They're like, I'm paralyzed. I'm in a wheelchair.
That's an exact to one, but like I literally cannot use it.
Yeah. Yeah, I wish I could remember we talked about but we had
so much fun. We were just laughing, cuddling, and I told you
I remember telling you this night. It was goofy tander. I told you
last night that although we're not we're getting tired. At the end, I
was like and no, we're not going to have sex, but I feel
like all my other intimacy points have been hit tonight, like quality time and
like touch and just being cuddled up emotion. Yeah, I tried to get
a little more emotional for you in the tub and you were like, I
don't want to talk about that, oh, because yeah, I was a
bit of a bomber. I was like that. I didn't feel like it
was I was trying to empower you, but I understood, but I wasn't
bringing it up to bummer. No, I know, I know, but
yeah, it was so nice, all so close to you, and I
was like, we should We used to do that a little more often of
like getting in bed and not watching TV. We would just like take like
whether it was ten or twenty minutes, like we would just talk or laugh
or something. I like when we do that when we watch Funnies because usually
we pause it and you're like, oh did you see this during the day,
Like it always makes us think of something. So I'd rather watch Funnies
at night than TV. Yeah, the TV pisses me off because then as
soon as I'm sleepy enough, it's still on and I'm like I feel like
banjo, like putting a handle. But this morning we had sex. We
did we had sex. We had morning sex. This morning. I was
like, I'm horny, and I was like, butt, I have a
butt all up on your lap and I just grabbed your boot your hand,
I put it on my boob. You know this is going give me that
thing I did. I was like, we're doing this. Yeah, we
did the old bump and grind. It was good. It was good.
I played a lot with your booty hole. Yeah you've gotten like you've gotten
like I told you, this is your new normal. Yeah, you've gotten
like really invested in my butt. Yeah, I've been waiting years and greedy
with my butt. Greedy, no, not greedy, but just like any
opportunity you have to get down there, you take. Yeah. Because also
I know you and I know that there's a select time when I can play
with your butt. You know, you want to be clean, you want
to feel confident, which I get as well. So I was like,
well, he had he took two showers last night. He should be feeling
fine and didn't poop once. Nice, there you go. So yeah,
I was getting all all up in your taint region and I just like rubbed
it for a while with my finger. How'd you like that, because I
don't think I've ever done that before. You were in like the really good
position that like, because I have nails, yes, and you have to
be in a like you you have to be in the right position to where
your cheeks are kind of opened up so I can like my jack yeah yeah,
and that doesn't always happen. So yeah, I like give you a
really good little blowy. I feel I give you really, I was really
I try to be as gentle as I could with your balls. Good,
you get too rough on them, because that's because at one point, correct
me if I'm wrong. I believe you were sucking on my balls while rubbing
my taint. Yeah that was. Do you like that? Yeah? No,
you did really good with with with the testicles. Yeah there, it
was like soft, but I could feel it. Any feedback, anything I
can improve on. No, I feel like you did a really good job.
Thank you. Yeah, thank you so much for that. Yeah.
I enjoyed just rubbing your little bo hole. Yeah yeah. And then I
was also jerking you in the front. You are you are also jerking me
in the front. You're doing the old kind of a reach around. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, I asked you get under the carriage.
Always feel like a mechanic. Yeah, I'm the Adam mechanic. I get
underneath those legs and I get to work. I didn't fix her, but
they'll take a couple of weeks to get the part in. You're warranty will
cover it. You're not out any money. I don't want fop God,
damn it. I'm a dapper dan man. It's for my old brother.
Where art thou heads out there? Hey, that's a deep cut. And
then yeah, because I was underneath the carriage, Uh, you finished all
over my my chestmate? I did, I got all over your tom Yeah.
How do you feel about that? When that happens? It doesn't bother
me at all? Know, Okay, is it like a surprise? No?
I knew that was going to happen, got it? I knew.
I knew what I was doing. How could you not? You had it
all playing? Yeah, I can't be like giving you a handy and rubbing
in circular motions on that on that booty hole and not finish. Yeah I
had Yeah, you had a sensation in three different places. I wasn't doing
that so you didn't come. That's fair. Yeah, yeah, I put
in the work this morning. Good for you. I appreciate it. No,
it was really it all felt really I feel like I earned this matcha
like I thought in my mind you were like she did. That was so
nice of her. I'm going to give her present early or did you already
plan on giving me the present? I knew I was going to give it
to you early. I was just trying to find the right time. And
you're like, oh, this is guy, she earned this. Yeah.
No, no I don't want to. But yeah, you finished and you
went and cleaned up and then brought me a little towel, a little nice,
warm, damp towel and cleaned me up, and then you cuddled me
and let me vibrate. Okay, and I just needed good cuddles. Yeah,
you just you were you were like you were really banjoing it, like
your face was shoved up into my beard and yeah, I was just wrapped
around you. Yeah, you just cuddled me, give me the like and
it kind of squeezed, and I feel like you came really quickly. Yeah,
I mean I was aroused. Yeah, yeah, I imagined you having
sex with me and I give you a lot of dialogue in my head.
Oh yeah, like what kind of dialogue, respectfully, the things that like
you aren't the most comfortable with yet, so like just talking to me and
like dirty talking me. Oh I'm giving you dialogue. You dirty. Yeah,
you dirty talk me in my imagination. And yeah, and I finished.
I think that was like sick sixty five seconds. I feel no,
it's probably two minutes, but it was fast. It was pretty quick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was. I was aroused. You were
all naked, We're all like pretzeled up wrapped up around each other, and
I was nice and warm. I rubbed one out. I imagine you saying
all all the dirty words to me, Like what were some of the things
I was saying to you in your mind? It's not even that crazy.
You just giving me Like I always when I feel like I'm close, I
always imagine you saying, like when I'm masturbate, I'm like really close.
I imagine you telling me like, uh, are you gonna come for me?
Good girls, come for me, good girls, come for me?
Wow, Okay a good girl, okay, come for me like a good
girl? Okay. Yeah, I like I give myself positive reinforce, getting
nervous, don't get shy, I feel so short. Yeah, so I
do a lot of that. I also do like because I'm not into I
don't do a lot of like dirty slut talk. It's more of like you
just being in contral role. So in my mind, when we're in my
mind, we're having sex where like you know, like I'm face down and
in my mind, like I can I picture you like adjusting my legs and
telling me like what to do, like arch your back for me, Like
I like, like in my mind, what I like is you just taking
control. And that doesn't necessarily mean being like smacking me in the you are
just like you're in control. You're telling me I'm a good girl. You
arch that back for me. Ooh that's good then, yeah, that's perfect,
like like really like positive reinforcing me and giving me like coaching. Yeah,
but I don't hear that from me very often, so I don't know
how it sounds. So I have I don't like hearing it in your play
voice. Sometimes you dirty talk me and like your like voice, So I
have to first imagine you yelling in the warehouse, and then I have to
kind of take that tone and try and like imagination, recreate the words I
want to hear, but more of in a stern tone. Yeah yeah,
because I don't. You don't stern tone me. That's you. You keep
that for your employees. Yeah yeah, yeah. So it's a it's a
whole it's the whole thing I've concocted in my head to get myself there.
But I've mastered it. Okay, Yeah, I got to work on giving
you stern voice. I feel like if I give stern voice to someone,
it's because I'm like, they're in trouble. Yeah, there's a way to
to stern voice me, but it's still like in a supportive way. I
don't want it to come off like a disciplinary way. Yeah yeah, just
gentle, good girl, here's your back for me. Oh that's good.
That's a good girl. Like things like that. I'm a good noodle.
I want to be like a gold star. You're a good noodle. What
does that When he's in boarding, he's in voting school, he's a good
noodle. Oh I don't remember. He gets stars. Remember he has like
a thousand stars next to his name because he's a good noodle. And then
Patrick is like trying to also get a star, and that pisses off Spongebo.
It's trying, and he's like, I'm a good noodle because she missus
Puff gets mad at him and like takes one of his stars down, and
he's like, got it. A good noodle. I vaguely remember this,
well, you are a good noodle. Thank you? Yeah mm yeah.
So with a last night and this morning, how are you feeling? Because
I feel relaxed, but I do feel relaxed. I feel like I feel
relaxed and like tense at the same time because I'm like, oh, I
feel like I'm gonna wasteless relax because now we both have to go to work.
I'm kind of using it to fuel the day of Like, Okay,
I feel really relaxed and I feel good. We're knocking at our episode.
We're gonna go work and you know, I'm gonna make some tea. I
just feel relax, like, Okay, I'm gonna have a relaxing day.
And there's gonna be a lot of hustle bustle today when we're both at work,
but it's gonna be good. We're gonna get off this episode. I'm
gonna make myself a tea for the time and we'll see how that goes.
I'm a little nervous, but then like I'm gonna get ready and like put
on Dance Moms and I get ready like just like a good Yeah, I
feel like it's a good day. It can't be a bad day. Can't
be a bad day. And then we're gonna have a lot of fun Tomorrow.
Okay, yeah, yeah, you got something for tomorrow and Tuesday.
We have quite the day tomorrow. Yeah, I told you. We're gonna
have breakfast plans and activity and then lunch and then we're gonna come home.
We'll have hours to just like bum around, watch TV or work whatever you
do, free time, free block. And then I also have a dinner
plan for us on mon Monday. Okay, I knew we had like a
dinner more dinnery thing on Tuesday. It's at home Tuesday. We're not at
home Monday, We're at home. You have I just have I just have
an evening planned for us on Monday too, because I was actually scheduled for
today. I was gonna do it today, but I did love the plan.
It's just it's just dinner in a movie here at home. I was
gonna do it tonight, and I was like, well, at least we're
off on Monday, but you get off so late that I was like,
that's not my favorite plan. Sure, but then I was doubling down,
like I don't know if that's a good idea because I want to get us
out the door at a decent time tomorrow morning. Yeah. So I was
like, well, we can't stay up too too late. So now that
we've had sex this morning, I'm kind of just rolling that into your experience
for today. That's your experience for today. That's fair. And what an
experience it was. Yeah, so you had all that, and then I'll
roll over our dinner in movie plan to tomorrow. Okay, ironically, I'm
just gonna tell you it is a Christmas movie I planned for I planned for
us to watch a Christmas movie this morning. You can think about what you
want to watch. I thought we could watch Santa Claus because because we watched
it together for the first time a few years ago. I've never seen it
before and I loved it. Yeah, we you know, we've were pretty
home alone out. I need a break from ilone could use a break from
home alone. I love home alone. Though, I'll tell you what.
I always give it like a three or four year break, and then when
I'm back on to it, I watch it like ten times that season.
I'm gonna say this critique of Home Alone, it needs more Daniel Stern.
I'm here for the Stern of it all, and he's not in it enough
to warn me watching it as much as society tells us we need to.
I love holone. I have a feeling we'll have Home Alone on like during
the Christmas week when we're with my family. Probably that'll be fun. Yeah,
yeah, well, any thoughts, comments, concerns. Thank you for
my Christmas present? He said, part of my Christmas are you think there's
more? You have stuff for Christmas Day? Okay? What? I just
feel bad because a lot of your Christmas present and birthday and everything is kind
of getting like pushed all very similarly together. And it's not like I have
a pony for you, you know what I mean. I've been doing stuff
for you the entire month, and a lot of that was kind of like
my Christmas plan. Like Ireland was also a part of Yeah, your Christmas
present or your birthday one or the other. But we're not doing that until
January. We're not going to Ireland until January. So I just want you
to feel like Rihanna didn't give me anything for Christmas. No, I absolutely
don't feel that way. If you didn't give me anything for Christmas, ever,
I'd be fine. Your Christmas presents pretty lame. It's not a pony.
I reserved all the plea. I reserved all the magic and poniness for
your birthday because your birthday. I think I told you That's how I do
my friend's presents too, when they have a close present of Christmas to birthday.
Ratio is I give you your special present on your birthday because that's your
one day. And Christmas is more like I know you needed socks, here's
some socks. I mean like it's more of like No, absolutely, I'm
not worried about it. It's less personal presence. It's more like general gift.
I'm absolutely not worried about it. Also, where would we fit a
pony in this apartment? It's just an expression. I know I'm having I'm
having fun with you, so you don't worry about it. I'm I worried,
don't be OK, but you're still gonna get lots of presents and stuff
because we're gonna be with my family. Yeah. I don't need presents at
all. Okay, you I love you, thank you? Yeah yeah,
all right, Well any last final thoughts or concerns. Thank you for an
amazing morning and for all the intimacy last night. Yeah, thank you.
No, it was a good time. I'm excited to see what the next
couple of days. Hold. Are we doing anything on Wednesday? Yeah,
of course, Okay, that's your birthday. I know That's why I asked
you know what we're doing on Wednesday? Do you want to tell the peeps?
Oh? Yeah, we're going to dinner. We're going to a Indian
buffet. We're going to all you can eat Indian buffet. Yeah, which
will be very I'm very excited and it also be very interesting. I actually
think I'm gonna cancel. I didn't say canceled. It's in my mind.
There's no reservation. There's something that I wanted to do after dinner. But
remember I told you that we'll have to like get there at like we'll have
to get to the buffet like at five, and we have an hour and
a half because we have somewhere to be. I think I'm just gonna not
do that. I we love a buffet. This place is really nice.
I don't want to say it's nice for a buffet, but like they have
cocktails. Like I actually just want us to take our time, not go
at five because we're gonna be hungry an hour later, you know, go
like more around six or seven like we would normal dinner. So we're just
gonna have like two good dinners. Yeah, because Tuesday we're also doing dinner,
but that one is a I haven't told you where we're going. That's
fine, but yeah, I'm excited for that. I don't know what,
like, I'm curious to see what all they have there, Yeah, because
I know they're gonna have like you know, I know, like curries and
there's like non bread, but I don't know, like what's a little like
appetizer snacks thing. I'm expecting to eat a lot of lamb. I'm hoping
to eat some goat. I'm excited to explore, to explore. I wanted
to take our time. Yeah, yeah, and they have good drinks.
I wants to ship the place down, like let's eat slowly, yeah and
take our time because if we can help it, you know, we're in
and out an hour. If we get our food fast, you eat fast
the military. Yeah, yeah, so I want us to take our time
and just like save the flavor, have a good dinner night. Yeah.
And that one is, however you want to dress it's more casual because it's
your birthday. But Tuesday we're going to do a dress up night. Yes
you did. You did inform me that tuesdays. Can I tell you what
I'm canceling for us on Wednesday? Because like it's not that serious. I
just was like looking for an activity. We were going to go to a
Get It Gals, which is the trivia brand of when we did Twilight.
Yeah, okay, we were going to go to another restaurant which I did
not anticipate us eating at, because just to do trivia. Okay, ironically
home alone trivia. Oh that's so funny. I thought that would be fun.
But it starts like it's six forty five. Yeah, and I was
like, oh, but I don't want to and I'm not your birthday.
I wanted to go to the buffet. That's so adam. I don't that
Pine House pizza. Oh okay, sounds like we've had pie and that's fine,
but let's just take our time on Wednesday. Yeah. I think that's
a good idea. I don't know about you. I'm getting pretty hungry.
I am also talking about all this food. I love you so much.
I love you. Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Thank you. Do you
know why I do that? Why I whisper Happy birthday to you. It's
based on the hit Katy Perry's song called a Birthday, and at the end
of it she whispers, happy Birthday. Let me get it, get it
to the end. Oh, I know this song I played all the time
for you. I've always wanted to give you like a burlesque dance to this
and come out of a cake. Yeah, that's why I do that.
That's my Marilyn Monroe. That's my happy birthday. As to presidents, Katy
Perry just whispering happy Birthday whenever I whenever my birthday comes around, I always
in my head like the whole for oh, for a while, it's always
just like birthday checks, birthday checks. And that is for any of my
old school comedy death Ray I believe it was now maybe it was cbb bit
by that point, comedy Bang Bang. That's fun. Yeah, well,
I love you so much. Happy thirtieth birthday. Thank you, You're welcome.
I love you. I love you. A little sagittarius, a little
asparagus. That's my bow and arrow noise. Hey, Stay Horny Bitches,
rye. If you enjoy today's episode of Balled Up Bitches, be sure to
rate and subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast. To join in on more
of our conversations and fun, you can follow us on social media at bottled
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Crooked Bunny production. Stay Horny Bitches,