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IDEMS. Welcome to the first episode of Coaching Shorts by IDMX Radio. This
brief podcast is designed to demystified coaching and help you understand what coaching is and
how it can help you. I'm your host, Jamie, and today I'm
here with Coach Christie. Coach Christie has been coaching since twenty eighteen. She
has a very deep background in management, consulting and human resources and her clients
are driven, high performers that want to make a difference. So welcome Coach
Christie. Thank you Greens today, thank you glad to be here. And
today we are going to take a broad look at what is coaching to help
understand from a very macro level what it is and what it isn't and what
are the misconceptions about coaching. So, without further ado, the first question
is Coach Christie, can you tell us what is coaching? So when people
come to me for coaching, they generally want to make a big change in
their lives. They're burned out, they're doing so much for their people,
and sometimes they're eager to start coaching and not eager to start coaching. But
what coaching is. It's never me telling you, oh, well, you
know why you're burned out. You're working sixteen hour days. That's why you're
burned out. It's never my job to tell you what is going on with
you. It's for me to ask questions for you to figure out what's going
on with you, and you then come up the client thing comes up with
the best solutions for you. So maybe you are working sixteen hour days and
your first step is, you know what, I just need a ten minute
break in the middle of the day. That's what you can do. And
then when you get your ten minute break in the middle of the day,
when we talk next time, it's you know what, I'm working sixteen hour
days. That is not working. So then we work on how we work
what you do to figure out the sixteen hour day things. So it's always
figuring out what you need to do, and then the client taking the action,
not a coach telling you what to do. Thank you. So it
sounds like it's as a coach you work to help drive self awareness in people's
lives, help them drill down on what is working and what isn't working,
and reflect on that. So it is it accurate to say that when you
are signing up for a coaching session and you're engaging and coaching, that it
really is going to be a moment to help you self reflect on what's working
and not for sure. And that was said way more succinctly than I did
so great job doing me, Yes, exactly, And it's never really about
me telling you what that is too. A lot of when I talk about
coaching too, the things that I focus on are the tactical things, like
an example that we were saying, maybe I need a fifteen minute break,
but we often have to work on that mindset too, Why do I deserve
a ten or fifteen minute break in the middle of the day. So it's
it's the mindset that always goes along with the tactical things that you need to
do, because if you do one without the other, it's not sustainable.
You just won't work amazing. So it's driving the self awareness, the reflection
and then to help hopefully clients then pivot how they frame what they're doing.
Good one. Yes, again much more succinctly than I said it, but
yes, that's it right. You know, coaching has I feel and since
you know the past twenty years is really exploded and sometimes there's not a lot
of clarity on what coaching is and isn't. So can you speak to some
of the common misconceptions about coaching and what it is and what it isn't?
Sure. One of the examples that I just hit on was the differences between
coaching and consulting. So I can always tell when I left app send to
consulting mode, which I do on occasion because I'm like, because I know,
well, I think that I know, I know what their problem is.
So if they will with the example before I'm working sixteen hour days,
how could you maybe work fourteen hour days? If I start telling them or
even suggesting what somebody might do, they didn't come up with that on their
own. That's me telling them. That's me being a consultant in thinking that
I know best. One of the things that I typically tell people when I
talk to them first, it's like, I don't know you best, I
don't know your company best, I don't know your roles best, I don't
know your family dynamics. Therefore you're the ones that have to come up with
the solution that's best for you, not me. So I always get a
nice little nudge if I'm trying to consult, because it's never what the person
designs and they don't want to do it. So, yeah, that's very
that's quite interesting. So as a coach, then you're not telling people what
to do. You're just helping them figure out what are the best solutions for
them based on their situation and who they are. Coach is not there to
tell you to do something particular correct exactly again, very succinctly, Yes,
take to take a certain action basically, which is maybe in a way how
it differs from sports coaching, right because your sports coaches, right, which
we're all familiar with, many people grew up, you know, taking doing
sports where the coach tells you, you know, if you want to get
better, this is what you need to do every day. But coaching for
adults or for young professionals look looks different in that regard because it's really about
helping people understand for them, what's the best solution to get them where they
want to go correct, and it's it's a little bit more holistic too.
You know the sports coach, which is if you want to make sure that
you're running a marathon or you're doing a specific sport, they're very They might
tell you what to eat, what not to eat, when to wake up,
but it's always for that ultimate goal. Usually coaching is more holistic if
we know we get your home life in a better, more balanced way that
aligns with who you are, that's going to help you with work. So
it's a little bit more holistic instead of just focused on this one area.
Amazing, amazing. I'm as follow up. You know one question that an
idea mix that we get quite often, and I'm sure you as a coach
get quite often, is what is the difference between coaching and therapy? Sure,
so Alex blame it. Let me give an example and then I'll explain
it too. So let's say I'm in a session with somebody and we'll take
the person that's working six hours sixteen hour days and they're exhausted, and I
might ask them the question why do you think you're working sixteen hour days?
And they really stop and they think they're like, oh my goodness. I've
worked since I was twelve. I was always taught that I need to work.
That even if I'm sitting down at the house and my parents come home,
I need to get up and I need to hustle because I can't rest
until I've already worked. And when somebody has that revelation, they're going through
a lot of past memories. As a therapist. Your therapist is going to
say, let's talk about that. How did that make you feel when you
were younger, How has that influenced who you've become as a coach. I'm
going to say, that's tremendous insight. That's great that you've come to that
realization. That's amazing work knowing that this is based on how you were raised
and may or may not be serving you now. How do you want to
go forward with that knowledge? And they can say I'm going to keep on
doing this because it's my goal to retire by the time i'm fifty. Great,
or that doesn't serve me anymore. I want to do something else.
But that's what we do. We don't get into what happened with your parents,
what happened when you were growing up. We say, great information.
Now we forward the action, So again, you know, it's a really
I think what I'm hearing is you may recognize that there is something that you
do because of how what you were told old in your past, But really
coaching is is that recognition, that gaining that self awareness about what that is,
but then having a forward looking approach to you know, how okay,
you know? Is that still serving you for where you want to go?
And if not, then how can we change? How can you change that?
Correct? Again, much more sucinctly, Yes, that's it amazing,
amazing, but I mean it's really I think one of the key differences is
even if you may look back at the past, that one of the sort
of differentiators between coaching and therapy is therapy really unpacks the past, whereas with
coaching, you are moving forward. So it's really a forward looking approach and
focus on sort of where where do you want to go? Rather than how
did you know? How did you get here? Correct? And it's non
uncommon. I have I Pad and have clients right now that are working with
therapists and they're working with coaches, and even though they might bring us the
same issue, they know that it's going to be handled differently because it's resolving
any trauma in order to help you make that forward progress. And it's not
in common for those to go hand in hand because we do not get into
each other's lens. They're different work. So do you ever have moments then
where you're working with a client and you have to say that is something that
you should unpack with your therapist. I do, and sometimes I say this
is a therapy question. You need to you probably need to figure this out
because I think it is influencing what you're doing. Now, let's talk about
what we want to go forward because it's a version of that. Yes,
yeah, amazing, amazing, Thank you. One final question to wrap up
our coach shorts a day. You know, I think I find the idea
mixed coaches are some amazing people who are very forward looking and are thinking about
I think are much much more reflective than I would say I am specifically,
And so you know, I'm always curious who the coaches find inspiration and how,
you know, who do they learn from in order to continue evolving their
coaching practices and help them advance as well. One of my biggest influencers is
Brene Brown, and anyone that's talked to me for more than five minutes,
we'll probably know that. Um. What I really like. The example that
I was using about the work in working sixteen hour days is one of her
mantras in the Gifts of Imperfection, and in part it is I'm letting go
of productivity as self worth. I have it in a bulletin board so that
I can see it often because she's pared down so much of the hustle culture
into really those beliefs that we need to have so that we're not doing that.
So she twists and turns that about sixteen different ways in her books,
how she's brought it to leaders, and how she unpacks that in her podcast
as well. So I'm always thinking about things differently and getting it supposed to
different authors when I hear her talk. So that's amazing. Thank you so
much coach Christie for being here today. We appreciate value your insights, and
thank you for being our first guest as well on today's coaching short I'm so
excited. I appreciate it, Jamie. Thank you so much. Thanks for
listening. Please subscribe h wherever you listen and leave us a review. Find
your ideal coach at www dot vidmx dot com. Special thanks to our producer
Martin Luski and singer songwriter Doug Allen.