Tape Deck Media. Welcome back to see you at the Body Richta. Today
we're going to be going through the movie summary of Arnold's nineteen eighty seven sci
fi action vehicle Predator. I am Joseph beck Castro. Joining me as always
is Aaron Frescus Yo and Chris Chapman. Hello, and we have some special
guests today. They are a husband and wife crew also known as Cochina Nasty
fighting out of Brooklyn, New York, by way of Albuquerque, New Mexico.
We have the flying Dutchman Rudy Peach and the sexual Tyrannosaurus Liz Capeech.
Welcome uh and if you're wondering, we've got our super sweet, awesome logo.
They were the ones that made it, so thank you for that.
Thank you very much. It's awesome. And I don't know if you guys
saw the original. I'm still a little we gotta find a use for that
original. It was the toilet toilet, I mean, I got, I
thought you got. I never heard of a podcast referred to as a potty.
So when you're like, we have this idea, it's called what is
it? Welcome to the party, victor or you with the potty Erictor,
and I was like, oh, dude, we got to do a toilet
with lightning bolts, isn't it and all this ship and you guys are like,
I didn't know when you guys were saying that's we like it, but
we want to know in a different direction. And then I started thinking,
Okay, they didn't mean like a literal potty, like yeah, it's p
O D D. Why like a podcast. Yeah, we we did eventually.
Yeah, but we've had that that problem, especially with the other one,
where I think someone mentioned because the other one is called you All every
potty and it works, like because you will every pod, but it probably
should be named you you pod. Someone was like, no, I can't
be named Patty. And I was watching two people have a conversation about it,
and I was like, yeah, that's that's nice. But same thing
with this one, to where it's it's like supposed to be party, but
it just that's the way he says it, potty with the potty. It
also works because there's a lot of pea talk on both podcasts. That's true.
Oh yes, everyone book from friend. I want to ask you a
bunch of questions. I want to have them answered immediately. Do you guys
have a favorite Arnold sports tanker movie? Yeah, Liz, you go first.
Okay, aside from Predator, Uh jingle all away? Okay, are
you like uh same as Joe to where you watch it every year? Probably
about once a week. I have seen it. It's a heartwarming nineteen ninety
six family classic. I'm a bad dad who redeems himself through a rollicking adventure
to get the year's coveted Christmas gift turbo Man to his neglected little boy.
All Right, all right, what about you, Rudy. I mean,
it's Predator. That's like the boring answer. But I fucking love this movie.
There's a reason you're doing the movie. Yes, I beg Pancho.
I love this movie. It's my favorite. I should say Joe, yes,
a few notes before we continue. My name is Joe, but I'm
also know it's Pancho is also a Pancho in this movie, so if you
don't get too confused. Also, one of the first times Rudy and I
hung out, we ended up watching this movie. He was a friend of
a friend. You stay in here in San Francisco, and our friend bailed
out somewhere. I don't know Blacked Out Love. Yes, yeah, missed
me. I left us at the bar. Well that okay, that sounds
about right. And then he came back and we ended up watching this movie.
And I also believe it's your favorite movie of all time time, Liz,
is that correct? Yes? Okay, so perfect? What about a
least favorite of Arnald Schwartzeker's movie? Not not like any movie ever? Jingle
all the way too. I've never seen that movie. Isn't that literally the
Cable Guy? Yeah, it doesn't have Arnold That's why it's my least I
I fucking hate Last Action Hero. Oh man, watch it again. I
know you watched it when I was like, oh, yeah, you should
definitely watch it again. Yeah. I know it's the same director as Predator,
and uh but I think that. I mean, I was so hyped
to see it. It looks so cool. A C d C had that
song. It was so rad and I just saw it in my young dumb
brain couldn't grasp it. And I think I kind of remember it being like
the first movie that I was like, Oh, movies can suck, you
know, yeah, because all entertainment when you're that age is so cool.
You're just getting experience, and that one just let me down. I couldn't
get it, So I do want to watch it again. Yeah, it's
a pretty good parody of action movies. Okay, maybe see I didn't Maybe
I didn't understand parody at the time. You know, I was too young
or something. But I was really hoping that that Rudy would have been like
ding all the way. It's like the yeah, pro choice, pro pro
jingle. He's like, no, ding all the way to n I kind
of got a Larry vibe. That's true. How do you think I cut
those arms? You might be a predator? Wait, that's be a predator.
If you make your girl put three red dogs for you sign. I
don't think we're getting any any Larry quotes. You then get her done.
Yeah all right, well then I guess let's throw it to Chris, who
is gonna get us started with the summary. All right, here we go.
So we begin our movie a long time ago in a galaxy far far
away, as we see a ship drop a pod into the atmosphere of a
blue planet. And then from here we cut to a helicopter landing on a
tropical beach, and I just think it's weird to like start the movie off
with the space stuff, because it's like, wouldn't you want it to be
a surprise, Like it was probably in the trailers that there was alien stuff,
But wouldn't you want it to be a little bit of a surprise.
That's yeah, we don't need that. Yeah, that's my only note here
was I kind of wish they would have included this scene, Like, wouldn't
have included that scene to start the movie, Like it would have made it
way more of a surprise when you find out what's hunting them in the jungle.
Yeah, totally, because without this scene, this like little scene at
the beginning just seems like a war movie up until his team starts getting murdered.
Yeah, but to be fair, it's like I wipe that from my
brain, like the second that helicopter. That's true. It's like I don't
remember. Every time I seen it, I'm like, wait, what is
space? What was the point of that? Surprised every time I've seen this
movie many times, I'm was like, oh, oh man, they give
it away and you just thought you walked into the wrong theater for a second.
Yeah. The Last Starfighter, God damn, I don't like it,
but it is pretty awesome when it's in the sky and it's like Arnold Switchnaker
Pritator and like all the the sound and everything it was got my dick hard.
So I'm not gonna lie on that, but I do agree. I
think the score is doing a lot of work in this movie. It's a
really good score. But yeah, Ale Sevestri, which I forget to mention
later, but it is the uh Back to the Future Avengers some other sports
goop. Yeah. Anyway, so we see the helicopters landing on a tropical
beach as a mysterious hunk watches from the back of an empty bar. The
helicopter opens an outstade up four more hunks and also Jesse Ventura is there.
The last to leave the chopper is Arnold, wearing sunglasses at dusk just so
it will look way cooler when he lights a cigar. Yeah, he can't
be to get off to the helicopter. I mean, they're just like guys,
just sitting there waiting for him time the whole time. There's no smoking
in there either. Many times, I tell you that's also I think a
trivia thing that I read that I didn't include was they couldn't he wasn't allowed
to light in the helicopter, so that that was all digital, like yeah,
that's yeah, or however they did it, but yeah, yeah it's
a green screen cigar, green screen lighter. Like he's actually just holding a
tube of Lifesavers. Also, okay, side note, have you guys ever
seen the video of Arnold talking about who introduced him to cigars? Didn't we
watch that one? Though? I watched uh some about him talking about how
he does he lets his wife doesn't tell him that he can't smoke the guars.
Yea father in law? Okay, yeah, yeah, he's like,
my father in law told me the dystogy was going to smoke off to dinner,
so I started doing it. Then, you know, he introduced me
to a really good thing. And so he goes on, I know,
you're a really good interview and you're going to ask me, that's terrible.
What does your wife think of this? Basically said she can't say ship because
her father introduced me. I didn't smoke my cigars out of the open.
Not like what did he say because I'm a stud? Not like yes,
so good, I'm so curious, Like that made me think I wonder if
there were any, because at first I was thinking like, oh, maybe
he had one of those like cigarette gum cigarettes, but then like a cigar
one, because I would totally buy the cigar cigarette like gum cigarettes. Oh
yeah, I'm pretty sure you just have to get one of those giants,
those big rolls. This is one of the hard ones, that's what it's
honestly, body. Uh So, the team of Hunks and Jesse Ventura all
pile into some military jeeps and drive across the beach to the empty bar,
where Arnold is greeted by an older, decidedly less hunky general and he used
to be Yeah. We find out that Arnold and his team have been called
in to rescue two high value hostages who were kidnapped by South American gorillas while
traveling on the wrong side of the border. And at this point I started
to wonder, you think arnold superiors ever get tired of him blowing smoke straight
in the face, because it's just the two of them right across from each
other at a small table, and the entire time he's talking, he's blowing
smoke in the general try trying. I don't think his general cares he's such
a fan boy because he's Arnold walks up to Arnold walks up to him,
and he's like his like target uniform, like its red pull. And then
the general goes looking good the weirdest thing to saying like him, you know,
I don't know, so I don't think he cares. He's like inhaling
his smoke, He's like, oh God, I missed your smells. All
die like fairly rapidly of episino. So he just all get terrible second hand
smoke. That that's really why it's not allowed to smoke on the helicopter.
That's how he moved up the rings. He just killed the second hand.
So uh. So Arnold starts to ask some questions about the mission, and
it's at this point that the mysterious stranger from the back of the bar speaks
up and reveals himself to be Chubbs Peterson, Arnold's old golf buddy. No,
actually it's we find out his name is Dylan. And at this point
of the movie, I was like, man, Arnold is being really patient
with all these people calling him Dutch. It's like he doesn't even sound Dutch.
He's fucking Oestra doesn't correct anybody, not once. So anyway, the
mysterious hunk is Dylan, who is Arnold's former brother in arms and current petsil
pushing son of a bitch working for the CIA. And then they do the
meme where the hands come together. Yeah, so Dylan and Arnold compare thick
veiny appendages in an our muscling contest before Dylan gives up and Arnold makes fun
of his fashion choices. Then Dylan blows a little smoke up Arnold's ass and
explains that he wants to pull off a quick twenty four hour extraction and he
needs Arnold's team because they're the best. No, no, it's because some
fool accused him of being the best. Very true. Also, Dylan is
played by San Francisco State alumni alumnus I've learned in former Oakland Raider Carl Weathers.
Wait wait, okay, first of all, alumnus is singular, alumni
is or if it's a female alumna, then it's alumnae. Yeah. We
had this discussion my wife and I like two nights ago. Was she like,
no, stupid, it's alumnus. Yeah She's like yeah, no,
wonder You're like that look at the fucking what school you into? No,
But so then I had this theory, right, like I'm a fan of
the Raiders. I can get a license plate cover that says, like,
you know, Las Vegas Raiders, but that doesn't mean I'm part of the
team. Therefore, you can get a license plate that says like Harvard alumni,
and that doesn't mean you graduated there because it's not an alumnus. You're
just a fan of people who graduated, So technically the license plate cover wouldn't
be lying. Yep, you're just a fan of all the former student body
of Harvard when it is graduated. Look, I'm just really proud of them.
It's a hard school to get into anyway. Dylan also mentions that he
is going to go in with the team, which Arnold objects to, but
he's overruled. And I'm kind of confused as like, are is Arnold's team
mercenaries or are they in the military, because he acts like he has a
choice in which missions he takes, but then that doesn't seem to be the
case. But then, like I don't know, especially later when he's he
tells Carl Weathers to leave, to leave the girl and and then Carl Weather's
like, no, you're still under like orders or whatever. I'm like,
okay, I thought you were a mercenary. I don't know. Yeah,
I think they might be contractors. But if they get contract I'm just I'm
making this up right now, this is what I think. Like, then
they get contract yeah, by the military. Therefore, like you know that
is your your boss. You still have orders? Yeah, Like like I
know, they're all former military, so they all to some extent like respect
the chain of command. But you know, again, Arnold is acting like,
no, I only take the missions I want to take, and and
we do them the way I want to do him. So maybe it's like
if you accept this mission, he has to go with you. Basically,
yeah, maybe his little brother, like you want to go to Dylan.
Yeah, all right, but you got to watch actually watch Dylan. Yeah,
Dylan's the son of a bitch. Mom, it does I think they're
mercenaries. That was always my understanding. That's exact same. Yeah. So
now we we cut to the helicopter ride into the jungle as we get to
meet the team. We have Jesse Ventura as Blaine the tobacco jewing heavy.
We have Bill Duke as Mac the consummate professional and habitual shaper, Sonny Landham
as Billy, the stoic Native American tracker and obvious stereotype, Richard Chavez as
Poncho, the guy who can speak Spanish, and Shane Black as Hawkins,
the red shirt who's kind of funny this. If you go go ahead,
you can finish the scene. My next note is that hat is doing a
lot of work for Jesse Ventura. Did you see his hair when he gets
off the helicopter in the first scene. He's very bald, but he also
left the little spot on top like he's a baby, a little tuft of
hair on top, like the little tear drops of hair. Larious. I
was listening to an interview about his casting for Predator. I was just curious
and he is talking about how he actually choots tobacco and that he it was
part of what helped him get the job. That he shows up at the
casting thing and they're like, well, this character choos tobacco and he takes
out he's he's got skull in one hand and red man and the other and
he's like so beside the point, the camera pans to a profile of you,
and what do I see but the like a great basin of completely dry
shelf and then three wispy like biden strams that are being helped together. And
it doesn't even have like it's so audacious. It's not even a jazz hotaale
where it's like a really long thing like this is. It doesn't even reach
Outpoken Michaels with the bandana. There's a comic I think it's Tom Papa where
he's talking about you just shave it off pretty much when you get to that
point. It's not like some girl was like, like it's comparing. It's
like it's not sexy or anything. It's not like some woman was like she
sees your ball, but then she sees the back. She's like, oh
yeah, but the helicopter. My note here was the helicopter character interesting is
what said the sabotage scene interesting wanted to be basically oh yeah, absolutely like
Jesse Ventura uses the F word, which rhymes with maggot yeah as a homophobic
slur, and it still somehow feels a little less homophobic than all of sabotage
Yeah, especially since it was made in nineteen eighty seven and not twenty fourteen
or whatever like Jesus Christ. Yeah, and he only says it once.
They don't proceed to then talk about balls and assholes for the next half hour,
so they're just talking about old Arnold or well, it's actually a newer
movie, but it is. Don't watch it, don't watch it in twenty
fifteen movie. But I also love how everyone has a thing like Bill Duke's
character is always shaving shame. Black's character is the nerd. Jesse Vanuri's character
choose homophobic flavor tobacco. I guess no, it's yeah, you're right,
Yeah, it's anti gay. You chew it in and it makes you less
gay. Yea. Now this movie is so, are you implying that a
sexual tyrannosaurs is straight? Yes? And if so, what is a gay
person? Is that? Like a sexual mastodon norannosaur seems like the most sexually
fluid of the dinosaur. Yeah, because like who's gonna turn who can stop
at tyrannosaurs that they want male female, They're gonna take what they want.
Yeah, but they can't really use their hands, so that limits a lot.
It means they got to use their mouth. Yeah, yeah, but
mouth only look at their strong, meaty legs. I mean that's anyway.
Sorry, Joe, Oh, this movie is is trophy, but it's made
in the time when it wasn't tropes, so like it's just it's fucking lightning
in the bottle. Like everything about this movie is great, like you know,
the team, uh you know, they all got their own things,
like the music, like just all the muscles. It's it's perfect And like
other movies like Sabotage for instance, try to do that, but they just
fucking suck at it. Because you can't recreate the magic of the eighties without
either being satire or shitty. You can just don't let David Ayrer write it.
Apparently it just comes off like Broie, Like I don't know, but
uh, can I say, who had the boombox in the helicopter? Was
it Jesse Ventura? Ventura? Yeah, nobody was holding it. It was
just up behind. Okay, because you're listening to little Richard, which is
a little gay. He's bad ass, but he's very you know, he's
like I wasn't sure if it was a little richer until he went and then
I was like, that is totally little anywhere. Yeah, man, I
wish Mac would have done that line later in the movie what happens in the
helicopter. No, see, here's the thing. So that song is about
a woman, and Little Richard's kind of gay, but he's trying really hard
not to be. That's why he's singing about a woman. That's what jesse
Ventura is doing by chewing the tobacco. He's trying to also be like Little
Richard, like stave off the gay in him. That's why he plays that
song, and that's why he choose to Tao. Okay, that's amazing.
Yeah, I can agree more. It makes it makes sense to me anyway.
We also find out here that there is no backup if things go wrong,
and also that Arnold's team does not have much respect for Dylan, as
jesse Ventura like spits on his fucking shoe. Also, like Bill Duke is
really dedicated to that shaving thing, because these cannot be the optimal conditions for
shaving your face, raw dog and no mirror. He's in a helicopter that's
got to be shaking, and ship like are you kidding me? Like pre
mock five one like that, they're in the jungle. That ship would be
rusty. Someone's putting on face paint at the same time, and they're like,
oh, that Lily's putting it on his face paint. But being a
native American stereotype, he's very good at it. Yeah, he has very
slowly, very slowly. Also, what's the Spanish speaking news name? Okay?
Yeah, I have him down here the whole time as nineteen eighties Adrian
Brody, So yeah, because that's what it looks like to me. And
then Brody showed up in Predators exactly, especially when he puts the hat on.
Not so much during because I'm watching the movie right now too, it's
not so much sure in the scene, but when he puts the hat on,
was like, holy shit, Adrians in this movie. I did,
and Hawkins confused so much exactly tell him I didn't know that they were two
separate people and to where they were in the same scene together. Yeah,
talking about how glasses, why you weren't glasses right now? Do you?
Why is he one of glasses sometimes but he's not one glasses overtimes? Poncho
does not have glasses right, yeah, is no correct? I'm like me,
but he also fills a P O and c h O. That's incorrect.
That's that's what you wear when it's raining. Was it? Is that?
How it was in the credits? Correct? Okay, okay, cool?
Because someone was saying they made the same comment in a trivia thing.
You spell your name p Y and c h O right e y N c
H with a with a little bar across the top of the Yeah, it's
actually panch but you know the white people say it pancho. All right.
So the the boys now ready up and get serious as they approach the drop
point, So they turn off the boom box and the lights go out.
Uh, and then they repel down to the jungle floor. Wait, we
missed the first we missed the first pussy joke? Though, Oh yeah,
oh that's true. That's true. You want to would you like to recount
it? Sure? No? I mean I feel like our dad's in the
eighties are loving these pussy jokes like knee slappers falling out of there like serious
boy like laughing, like there was like there was like pussy jokes and Gallagher
in the eighties and like that was it for comedy. Was joke? It
was? That? Wasn't the echo when it was no, no, it
was my girlfriend or no, I told my girlfriend. I right, she
had a smaller pussy or something like that. No, No, I asked
my girlfriend for a little pussy and she said too. Mine's as big as
a house goes over Billy's head or just don't know if it goes over,
because he just stares him down like an asshole. He's an ally dude,
he doesn't yeh, yeah, but that one's better than the one he says
later. I don't know that that one later because I was later more drunk,
but the other one later I was started cracking out. Billy personally,
I was going on with my girlfriend and I said, well, you got
a big pussy. Wow, you got a big pussy. She's like,
why did you say that? Twice? I didn't. I explain it to
him to have written it was an echo the second time it works, did
you guys of him? Wonder what like a predator pussy looks like? Probably
like it's face, definitely vagina. Surprisingly, it's just got a little alien
head that pops up. That's the aliens. I all right. So the
squad makes their way through the jungle. They do find the down chopper eventually
that the hostages were taken from, and Poncho tells Arnold that some of the
details aren't adding up, which Billy confirms when he spots the tracks of some
other American soldiers that nobody mentioned. Again, I like Billy, but they
just make him so stereotypical. He's like he's like an expert tracker the whole
time, and like senses ship that other people can't sense. It's it's insane.
I mean, they never say he's Native American. We all know his
name. His name is not like running horse or some ship. All right,
No, that's his last name, Billy running Horse. I don't know.
Actually they're actually the Native Americans, so well, I have their names
at the bottom, and the best of their real names. Yes, is
Dutch's name, because I was like, what a fucking dork? Alan?
Really? Sorry if anybody's name's Alan, by the way, when I was
like Alan, it just sounds like, yeah, it's like Alan Dutch something.
I can't remember Billy's last name, but they have his surname. They
have uh Max's surname, and yeah, pretty much everybody else is surname because
everybody else. The only person, yeah, the only ones I know is
Pancho because he calls him Ramirez at the end. Well, I don't think
is actual first name, but I could be wrong. No, no,
I know, I'm just saying that's the only last name I even moved.
Oh okay, well, Pancho is usually short for Francisco. Oh. I
was hoping that Poncio or some thing short for ponchetot. He like cuts a
vine and he starts sucking out of the viney and then like the tree,
he's like pretty much stuck in the trees dick. And then the tree comes
his chest like its just like gotta cotm some exactly because he I think he
hears the predator or here's something. No, he hears something and then he
goes and likes it's while he's drinking from the vine, so he's milking.
He's really milking thee and then as like the vines finishing, Billy like pulls
it out of his mouth and he looks around and the vine just goes all
over his chest. Because I was like, I was like, oh man,
it looks like he's sucking that tree's dick. And then once it dripped
on his chest, I was started cracking up again drinking. You know,
dude, the guy didn't played Billy. I read something so fucking funny,
Sonny Landam. I guess the studio didn't want him, like because he was
a crazy motherfucker crazy. Yeah, oh really and yeah, and the studio
said the only way they we'll hire him is if he has a bodyguard with
him twenty four to seven to stop him from fighting people on set, because
he sold for beating people up on set. Yeah, bodyguard was to control
Sonny Landam. Yeah, it wasn't for other people. That was for It
wasn't for his protection, it was for the insurance company wouldn't insure him unless
they did that. Yeah, yeah exactly. Yeah, he had to do
this frustration now somehow, and he was just like, yeah, god,
what a crazy stipulation. He must suck me. What it was like a
vine? Yeah, exactly if you think about it, true, vines are
just trees dicks. Yeah, it's true. It's very scientific. We were
able to throw towards the pussy. They're they're just like the biceps going by
the vines. So as so as Billy is milk in that vine, he
hears a little something, he turns around, he makes his way into like
this underbrush thing and when he finds this absolutely horrifying scene of three dead bodies
strung up and just absolutely coated with strawberry jam. It's it's fucking gross.
That was strawberry jam. Cool, but yeah, anyway, so he finds
the three dead bodies. They're strung up and they've been skinned, and so
Arnold has Mac cut the bodies down. One of the dog tags found is
Jim Hopper, who is a Green Beret that Arnold actually knew, and that
confirms that they're not the first Americans to come out here. Do you think
Arnold ate him for breakfast? Yeah, because he's known to eat green brays
for breakfast, as he told us some commando. He keeps up that muscle
mass like he has to be eating people like you can't get that much weight
protein out in the jungle where they were filming this. This is also the
first instance that we see that like predator heat vision thing, which, yeah,
that's that happens right here. Yeah. So so everybody's pretty shaken up
by the skin bodies, and Arnold's concern is only compounded when Billy tells him
that the fight that happened here makes no sense, like it looks like an
ambush. Except there's no like trails leading anywhere or like from it shells or
anything like that. Yeah, or shells or anything like that. Uh So
at this point everybody's kind of nervous. Blaine pulls out his mini gun and
we start getting some very like Friday the Thirteenth, like stalker type shots looking
down at the squad from on high, except they're through like an infrared filter,
which again would have been awesome if they didn't include the first scene,
yeah, because it would seem like part of the movie. Yeah, exactly,
or you'd be like, what kind of technology do these gorillas have?
Yeah? Yeah, Also the gun has a name. What the gun?
It's Oh, it's old paint us there you go. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. There's one scene where somebody just kicks the vulture, which field goal.
I love that. It was like a bird jump scare that happened when
he finds the body. I'm like those a lot of those vultures and conjurors
are on the endangered species list. I'm imagining now like Peter has a hit
out on them, much more powerful, dangerous, and this team is the
reason or like way more dangerous than whoever they're fighting. And another thing so
Stranger thinks it's pretty much a like love letter to Stephen King. Steph.
I had to get my one ref in per episode. But also I wonder
if they took some from this because the guy is Jim Hopper dies, which
is the name of Jim Hopper in the show. Yeah, I didn't know
that, And it takes place in Hockey's Indiana, and one of the characters
names that's true, I've seen that show. But any of them Dutch?
Yeah, no, I was trying to think of other connections. But does
one of them have a creed? Probably sounds like a foreign name, it's
the wrong movie, but yeah, ju Storing, Oh there's a billy.
Also, does he suck a tree dick? Because I'm right now, I
don't No, it didn't suck a Do you just have you just have him
sucking that vine like on loop or you just watch it? Yeah? I
apparently I went back and it's going through it again, and I'm like,
well as well watch it again as well. Actually a little in fact,
you could see like in the background of that scene there's like a black leather
couch. So they start moving through the jungle again. Dylan is a little
out of practice on field work. So he trips and makes a bunch of
noise. But no, go ahead yourself, No, no, I'm sorry.
I have a comment for her, but all that you finished. So
Dylan trips and makes a bunch of noise. So Matt gets in his face
and threatens to cut off his right hand. If so he can never golf
again if he doesn't get a ship. I don't know why, but every
time I see Bill Duke acting all bad ass and like either this or Commando,
I can't help but remember that he directed Sister Acts during Whoopy Goldberg.
He did not he did every single time I seem locked in badass. I
remember he directed Sister Act. I think Sister Act too, but I'm not
sure what it makes sense. He's he's incredible. He sings in this movie.
That's where he actually got the idea for I don't think it wrote in
the Jungle. He directed Sister Act. He's probably like it started out as
a movie about she was running from the editor, not the mob up at
the Catholic church, because there's a lot of predators there. This is why
Pancho here for awesome. She like, you don't talk a lot, but
what he's got so uh. The squad finally reaches the gorilla camp and Arnold
scouts it out to formulate a plan of attack, and we get some very
sweet ass shots of Arnold. He sees one of the hostages get killed and
then calls the team to him. Everyone gets into positions surrounding the camp and
they start taking out guards after he explains a plan Arnold decides. After after
they've killed a few people, Arnold decides he's tired of playing it stealthy,
so he straps a bomb to a truck and sends it rolling downhill right into
the center of the camp. Is follow that up by blowing up the camp.
Stockpile of the tire had a drive belt running to like a water mill,
I think, like, not like a water pump. I thought it
was one of those weird like seventies workout things or like those are hilarious.
Yeah, I initially thought it was a kind of a weird version of a
generator kind of do the same thing, and it was like charging something.
But yeah, whoever said that, I don't remember, and frankly I don't
want to remember who said it was a water well pump. But yeah,
there's definitely water coming out of it. So yeah, so he basically blows
up the entire camp, and I love how he saw the one hostage get
killed and he just now has complete disregard for where the other hostage is.
Could not give less of a ship. They just start blowing things up and
riddling the place with bullets. They killed everybody. My note here is aren't
you supposed to be looking for hostages everything? That might not be the best
idea, but like later on, Mac tells him like, oh, they
killed the other hostageity It's like no, no, no, you guys killed
where's the other ones? They always died at such a big deal. He's
like virtue signaling about. He's like I would never do, you know,
I have a code of honor, like I don't need things to save hostages.
And then yeah, just and there's like a nuclear plume of smoke and
then they say like like Arnold's clear the air and no trace. I'm like,
this is like a crater in the earth, like the bodies and make
it even more like macabre than it is. Right. Yeah, Also,
like they blows up the helicopter like you just gotta use that. Yeah,
yeah, that's true. It would have got shot down though if it wasn't
one of Yeah, but it's their helicopter. How would they know that it's
not them their helicopter? Yeah, the gorillas were trying to take off in
the helicopter. No, but was it the gorilla's helicopter or were you?
Yeah, so I'm talking about the I'm talking about Arnold's people. What if
the military would have shot down the helicopter once they saw it, not if
they radioed in and told them, hey, we're coming in the gorilla helicopter.
Yeah, but you know, like they not killing hostages to worry about
that stuff. That first hostage shooting was really hardcore though. Yeah, it
was kind of brutal and just like showed him get shot in the blasted.
I was a little shocked, man when I saw that. It was kind
of crazy. Yeah, so I understand his you know, his fury that
he got it. Yeah, totally justified. When they're all sitting all the
these sort of you know, generic brown terrorists are sitting at the table and
they're all drinking. There's this huge picture they all cops, and I wanted
to know so badly, and there's clearly got like white dudes in brown face
that there. Did you guys see that? Are there? Yes? I
watched it slow motion because there's this one guy that is so clear. I
mean, it's like the worst round face. And the guy he throws the
knife into I think, oh is it? Yeah? Anyway, that's terrible.
So at this point the scene just becomes like a series of rapid fire
shots of various things exploding and the gorilla's just getting destroyed with bullets, and
as the gorillas begin to retreat, the team works its way towards the center
of the camp. At this point, one of the gorillas tries to sneak
up on Arnold, but Arnold sees it coming and pins the gorillas intestines to
a post with a hilariously oversized knife and tells him to stick around. I
love that that knife is probably like nine inches long before it goes into the
dude, like and then it still has to go all the way through him
and into the post enough to that's a fucking short sword that Arnold just threw
the dude. Where was he carrying It's one of those like retractable telescopic Yeah.
Arnold then busts into a room to blow away one of the gorillas who
apparently thought now would be a good time to like do his taxes because he's
just sitting there rifling through papers as there's absolute pandemonium happening around him. When
Arnold busts through, the gory goes knock knock, and I just at this
point, I was like, I wonder if his team is considered the best
because they make the time for one liners. You know, well, yeah,
they got to spend so much time They're like, all right, what
scenarios can happen because I have to think of jokes for that. That's why
they're the best, because they think of every possible scenario specifically because they want
to set up jokes. But you know, it helps them become the best.
Like Commando, I would love if Billy is not actually in the military.
He's just their joke writer. Yeah, the little pouch on his neck
is just filled with jokes and he's like, oh, Jesse, Billy,
I'm at Hawkins. Sorry, but I like that better. Part of the
process to get on the team was like an improv like tryout. He was
like trying out for Saturdy Night Live or something like that. Okay, but
what impressions. Can you do all right? If you just shot off this
guy's leg, what do you say to him? Come on? So,
at this point, yet another gorilla tries to sneak up on Arnold, but
this time he only knocks them out and then feels a little bad when he
sees it was a woman. Then Mac comes over to tell Arnold that he
found the other hostage. But clearly they've been set up because the hostages were
actually CIA and some of the gorillas were actually Russian military. And like I
said, it was at this point I was like, that guy was not
dead before you found it, or like before you scott here. You know
those huts or whatever or those houses aren't bulletproof, right, like all that
they just it went straight through it. Yeah. So then Dylan joins Arnold
and starts rifling through the documents that the gorilla was going through. When Arnold
pins him to the wall and confronts him about all lies, Dylan basically says
that lying was the only way to get Arnold to take the mission, and
he would do it again. Ducked up And Dylan was like, straight up,
I felt like he was just like really crying in that scene. Man
his eyes were like he didn't seem much. I meandn't cared yet. Man.
Yeah, I don't know if he was crying so much as every single
cell of his body is sweating. H there was a machine of sweat all
down his face. So he just saw like thirty seven guys get murdered,
and I was hitting him all at once. So Hawkins gets in contact with
HQ and tells Arnold that they got to get moving because gorilla reinforcements are on
the way. Dylan demands that they bring the female gorilla with them, which
Arnold allows, but he makes her Dylan's responsibility. Now we get to some
more of that infrared voyeurism as the squad gets ready to head back to the
rendezvous point. We see Max save Dylan from getting stung by a scorpion,
and Hawkins get a laugh out of Billy by telling him another joke about his
girlfriend's spacious vagina, And we see both of those things mainly to show us
that the infrared pervert is recording the squad for some unknown reason. That's the
addition. So sorry, this is a tiny bit of a story, but
okay, So, for some reason, the scene reminded me of one of
the first times I watched this, which was when I kind of sort of
ruined my cousin's sleepover party. So because you're a predator exactly, this was.
This was two weeks so my this is when I was little, by
the way, But so my other cousin, Vanessa, was on the last
Lost podcast who here. Yeah, but I'm pretty sure they had this was
her because she's my first cousin. This was her family. This was,
yeah, but I'm pretty sure they had one for her for the girls,
Like a few weeks before I went to the one for like the boy cousin,
and my sister told me about how my aunt told them some scary story
to tell, like about like quest Haven, which we I think we were
talking about during the intro, but which is like this insane asylum or so
some like urban legend stuff around here, like like North Cania, San Diego.
But anyway, it scared the hell out of them. I think they
even have my uncle, like or someone my uncle and my boy cousin like
banging on the windows or something to scare the girls. Yes, Okay,
so I used to not like I used to not be scared of too much,
Like I could watch all like the horror movies like a Nightmare on Elm
Street or Chucky or Halloween and not get scared. But then one day those
same cousins had me watch the nineteen nineties version of it, and I was
what eight not eight, I think seven or eight at the time, and
it pretty much scarred me and made me like the biggest pussy about stuff going
forward, because I think that movie was the first thing that made me scared
of like death and dying, which I realized the other day was like,
holy shit, that was the first time I realized like I could actually die,
which was super fun thing to think of, Like when you're seven years
old, you're like, oh my god, I can get eaten by something
and die. Anyway, Sorry, this is getting weird, but okay.
So I turned into a super big pussy and used to have trouble sleeping,
Like I would get like really nervous around sunset because I know it's gonna be
dark soon and shit's scary in the dark. Fucked you up, bro big
time. I got the sunset dude, Like I would get scared because I
knew I was gonna be dark, and I was just like, I don't
like the dark, because that's when stuff could happen. But so I would
actually make myself sick from worrying. That's from about something like coming and grabbing
me, me and grabbing me in the middle of the night. Jes like,
yeah, that's exactly what I thought. Yeah. Well, you know
how like when you're a little kid, you have to get up to go
the bathroom in the middle of the night and it's dark as hell, so
you like, our bathroom was across the hall, so you just run across
the hall real fast and hope you didn't see anything. Oh yeah, I
I felt like that one time, and I decided to piano the dresser Solid
Solid, which is a great way into our one of our sponsors, betterhelp
dot com. You know, we've got a lot of trauma unpack, you
know, and caused a lot of problems in our life. So that's Did
anybody ever find your piss or did the anything happened with the piss? I
don't know. Dogs feel the carpet all the time. It was carpet,
I don't know. They didn't have And Aaron, We're gonna come back to
this. No, I'll get back to it. I want to hear more.
I want to hear about Joseph was crazy. This is a crazy revelation.
Yeah. So I don't even know if I've ever told anybody this.
Yeah, I just kind of never. But if you had not told your
story, it would not have gotten to know this is this is good because
I have a related thing. But you weren't. You weren't like you weren't
like it wasn't me, but well it was me, but you weren't.
Like a bedwinter, this was the one one time thing. No yeah,
no, no, me and my brother. My brother is two years older.
We got putty train at the same time. So like I've been oh,
that's health curved. Yeah, all right, I think that I think
that bed wedding is from sometimes like being scared of getting up and then I
don't maybe eat other stuff. But like I think this was like a conscious
decision, like I didn't want to go. And the fucked up thing is
like the bedroom door literally like if you're still in the bedroom, you can
touch the bathroom door. That's not what I was scared of. What I
was scared of it was bloody Mary in the mirror and everything. That's why
I didn't want to go in there man. Yesterday, yesterday Liz asked me
if I would do Bloody Mary. I just turned forty, and I was
like, I will not do it, dude, Yeah, why why chance
it now? Like exactly, you've been going too strong since this long Hell,
no point chance. I've never heard you say you wouldn't do something.
I know you aren't all scared of anything. The most like reckless, old,
confident person I've ever met. Let's do bloody Mary's Like, Nope,
tonight, I'm pissing under the dresser because anyway, so, uh we were
talking about yes, okay, so we're out of the running running running into
the from like your room at night, into the uh into the bathroom,
like as fast as you can. So somewhat related is when I used to
run across the hall into the bathroom, I always thought that I would see
either the clown from it or George Washington, which, yeah, sure,
scary guy. I have no idea why, but I until I was like
at least twelve years old, I was always expecting to see either one of
those two. So it was like always George Washington, which I don't know
why. It was just like the ghost of George Washington, who for some
reason was in southern California. Yeah, I mean both both it and George
Washington had like scary teeth, wouldn't Yeah, that's true, and they're kind
of the top yeah, like freaky hairtoos, very clown like, both slave
owners, both slave owners, both founding fathers, counting fathers. He's on
Mount Rushmore Trump and George Waking. That was the original design, which was
scrapped. So so yeah, so high ruined. My cousin's sleepovers that started
with this were No, it's it's layers, we're wrapping it back around.
Okay. So so anyway, so I'd make myself pretty much stick to my
stomach that Eventually the doctor just told my mom He's like, just get him
some maylocks, which you know is like, uh, it's basically like the
stuff that fitzgie Olds drink for ass reflux, like to get rid of like
the stomach. It's a combination of like prozac, fentanyl and anti hartburn.
It's like over the counter. It's like peptal, like peptal business basically.
But I was drinking that when I was eight, So so the sleepover,
so yeah, my sister mentioned the ghost story that they told, uh,
they were told in how scary it was, and it basically just made me
like work myself up leading up to the sleepover to where I was super worried
and I was already having such a hard time sleeping anywhere but my house,
and I know I would have been like freaking out and making myself sick if
I got scared, which also wired me because I didn't want to come off
like a weenie in front of everyone, because you know, it was like
seven or eight. But anyway, I pretty much covered that because I don't
remember exactly how, but I somehow convinced all the other kids at the sleepover
to not do the scary story and we all ended up watching Predator instead,
and it started like right after this scene, which I remember this scene because
I was like, this is when we started watching Predator. But yeah,
I think I convinced them I basically scaring them into thinking that it was going
to be super scary, and then I swear to god, I remember offering
at least a couple of them, some maylocks. So so now every time
Arnold kill someone a Predator, you pee accidentally, yeah, which I don't
think my uncle cared because I'm pretty sure, like he's always kind of thought
I was a pussy, But I remember my aunt, which it's funny for
Chris because he knows what I'm talking about, but I remember my aunt being
super annoyed by just because I'm assuming I've roomed their like whole story nights,
but I definitely like roomed their whole like sleepover story nine And I pretty much
came in like a fifth year old, like, do you guys want some
maylex the scary stories? We can watch some Predators between the shots the Maylox
and the Andy and your gut Viome was like by the age of nine,
just oh yeah, for sure, yeah, activity probably would be good anyway.
So yeah, but yeah, we got to watch Predators, so it
wasn't a complete waste. Everybody, come inside, it's almost sunset. We're
gonna watch Predator and a paper the act for each to get inside. Anyway,
we're watching Predator right now. Moments after he stops laughing, Billy stops
and looks around as he seems to sense that something is watching them. After
everyone has moved out, the mysterious creeper surveys the carnage left by Arnold's team
as he remixes all the recordings he made, and the last thing we see
is an exceptionally manicured hand picking up the scorpion that Matt killed. And I
like to think that the entire rest of the movie from here on out is
just because the Predator is like a peda fanatic, and he's super pissed about
that scor So first the vultures, then the scorpions. It's like, motherfuckers,
really could hear the laughing? I don't think that's what happened. Anythink
that's what happens because it said it in the trivia, But then it also
says faint laughing if you watch you with subtitles like vibes based tracking. Yeah,
I thought he was like I thought he just could vaguely hear the predator
moving. No, I have a trivia that says he wasn't. Actually he
wasn't actually like had this connection like native American connection. He heard it laughing,
And it actually says in the subtitles faint laughing. I'm sure I would
have heard it, like I usually watch it to the headphones, but it
was actually watching on the TV. But you can probably hear it through the
headphones. Maybe I watched it with headphones. I didn't hear he didn't hear
you hear like it? Yeah it's it, says in the subtitles, faint
laughing. That makes sense, dude, Like, dude, the Predator is
just basically like a space parrot that like pa is just like actually the Predator
just chopping clicking is the block. The show is dumb, all right.
So the squad is squads walk up through the jungle, they take a short
rest, Mac and Blaine commiserate about how much the jungle sucks, and then
Max shares his flask with Blaine, and I got so grossed out because I
feel like, if you share that flask with Jesse Ventura, it's gonna be
like drinking out of a fucking spatoon. It is gonna be so gross that
is Yeah, I'm sure he backquesches. Also, this movie has a lot
of traveling scenes, like a lot like to where I was like, I
don't write anything because they're walking like it's a lot of uh, just walking
through the jungle. Yeah, you know, Tolkien actually based Lord of the
Rings on this time travel. Yeah, he got by his professor the movie
scanner. Let's see so well, while this is happening. We see the
female gorilla fall down in front of Dylan, and when he bends down to
force her to her feet, she throws some leaves in his face and makes
a run for it, only to be stopped by Poncho a few feet later.
And I just I love that Dylan is so fucking rusty that he gets
completely fucked up by a load of leaves to the face. Yeah. One
of my notes is Dylan is a bitch in this movie. Yeah, Dylan
sucks man pencils man. Yeah. So Billy scouting ahead gets spooked by something
and figures out that the predators in the trees, but he can't really see
anything. And that was wrong with you? You mentioned it earlier, but
at this point I was like, are you fucking kidding me? He has
a talisman that he rubs when he's like feeling what's in the pouch. He's
not Mexican culture language. Is that a Mexican thing? Yeah? For some
reason, I was like, that's we don't Seeah. I knew the sprite
thing because our mom used to buy me seven up whenever I got sick.
Yeah, exactly, because we were too poor for spride. I guess.
So, while the squad is distracted by by Billy being all freaked out,
uh, the gorilla smacks Poncho with a tree branch and takes off again.
Hawkins goes after her, and we see that the predator is following them.
Just as Hawkins grabs her, the predator comes up behind him and disembowels him
and drags him off into the jungle. Pancho catches up a second later,
but only finds some guts on the ground. When they go back to question
the gorilla, she says that the jungle came alive and took Hawkins. Does
anybody have what she actually said, because at this point in this like Pancho
says, she says the jungle came alive and took him, and and Dylan
says, bullshit, that's not what she said. What she said doesn't make
any sense. And I couldn't find anywhere what she actually said. I mean,
I don't speak Spanish. Yeah, I don't speak Spanish. I can
I mean, I can go back to it because I have it playing right
now. Yeah, but the subtitles I think just Spanish, Yeah, speaking
in Spanish. But anyway, it's after I was just wonder she's running away?
Well really, you know Spanish. Yeah, but Liz is even better
at Spanish, only like, okay, that's just like me and Erica.
There was look at me. I'm like, I don't know what the fuck
she said. In Erica, it translates I'm like, yeah, sorry,
she's okay. So not because I'm great at Spanish, but because I just
looked this up. Ramirez is asking her, kin, what did you see?
Who was it? She whispers no, no, no, I don't
know. I don't know what it was. Then he says, kin,
tell me, woman, who was it? Tell me? She says the
jungle, the jungle took him. He says, okay, what Then she
says, no, noise, I don't know. I don't know. I'm
not sure. The only thing Ramirez translated differently was saying she said the jungle
came alive. Dylan was always trying to act like he knew more than everyone
typical boss, is that? What are you reading that? I mean,
so it's just unhinged. In my In my notes though, I say like
Carl Weathers speaks Espanol one minute and then the next like scene for kids Spanish.
Yeah, on top of that, again, like they're just there's stuff
that happens and then nobody cares, Like all of a sudden, she can
speak English and nobody like everyone's like, okay, she can speak Elish,
somebody nobody cares. They're like, oh, it wasn't like anyway, We'll
get there, go ahead and speak Spanish when I'm very drunk. She can
just speak English when she's very scared. Yeah, but I'm just like Carl
Weathers, you know, like he can speak Spanish sometimes. That's just like
me. That's why they are sucking the jungle. The vine Dick is that
white special legal powers. It gives them the I'm curious if you can't speak
like you think you can speak Spanish when you're really drunk. But it's like
there's a scene from thirty Rock where Alec Baldwin thinks he can speak French,
but when he speaks French, it's just gibberish, like it translates it and
it's just like random letters. He's like, and it's just like like that's
Joe just picking Spanish. You know. I've had at least two conversations in
nothing but Spanish well, very drunk. But this was a while ago.
And this is and I worked in a kitchen, so there my Spanish now
is is terrible? But yeah, So Poncho and Dylan are arguing over whether
she's lying, but then Arnold points out that whoever did the killing didn't take
any of hawkins equipment, so it seems unlikely to have been the gorillas,
and Dylan realizes that this is the same thing that happened to the team that
they found skin. Arnold orders everyone to go look for Hawkins' body, so
they split up and search the nearby area. As we pull high up into
the trees to see hawkins bleeding corpse, hung up like an animal. Was
that him? I couldn't tell who that was. Yeah, he got him
up there naked so fucking fast, Like what that's true. He's very adept
at on dressing him at the same time that he's climbing the trees, just
like me in college round. Oh, I'm just saying I murdered people.
You said you were getting yourself naked up in the lot really quick. No,
getting other people naked up in the loft really fast. Imagine you every
nag getting naked and stringing yourself up enough to tell you. He compresses the
no I'd get naked and gets scared and have to run really fast naked zip
into the bathroom. I gotta go, you under this dresser. Can I
just say it, Okay, this I don't know, this is weird.
I never said this to anybody, but that whole scene when she's in the
spirit of stories of that people may or may not know they're weird about yourself
when that I think I saw this movie for the first time when it was
like peak weird. Hormones'd be like eleven or twelve. And I remember that
scene where she's like the jungle moved, you know, like I got it
like maybe kind of horny. I was like, like, I don't know
if I was like horny for the jungle or for or like the cleaning biceps
like, but I just remember it being kind of like vaguely sexual. I
don't know it just it awakened something to me. Oh all right, And
I wonder if this is your favorite movie, maybe you just want to go
kill a bunch of people in the jungle. I have to keep the hunger
down something. The jungle moved gotta going for you. Now. I can
only get hard when I do it. In the jungle, but that's fine.
It's fine. Jungle is not the only thing that came alas all right,
and that's going to do it for part one of our summary of Predator.
We'll be back in about a week and a half with the second half
of the summary, and then a few days later we'll have the final episode
with the trivia and the games before throwing the movie on this Predator. All
right, Thanks so much for listening, and dear, if you enjoy our
show, please consider giving us a positive review on Apple Podcasts or your podcast
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