Hello everyone, and welcome to Out of this World. And today we're gonna
be talking about dating. I am your host, Jamie Hanshaw, and Rachel
Wilson is here again with me, just because we have such great chemistry.
Yeah right, I think we do. I think we do too. And
you might say, what does dating have to do with conspiracies? I thought
this was a conspiracy show, but I think that it's all wrapped up together,
and I think the modern dating milieu is such a s h I T
show right now that it is hard to look at. It's literally a train
wreck. I am a very romantic person. I love love, I love
couples, I love holidays, I love babies. I want you all to
get together and have a great life and make lots of babies and be very
happy. But that is not what is happening. So today we are going
to hash out what's going on in the dating game. We're going to talk
about the teleology of dating. And you know what that word means, don't
you? I do you. But first I want to say I agree with
you. I am always stumping for families. I'm very very pro family,
pro marriage, pro motherhood. I agree. I want all the babies and
the Christmas parties and everything. So we are in alignment on that one.
Yes, I love romance. I love weddings. I love hooking people up
and watching them fall in love and get married and have nice families. So
can you tell us what teleology means? Isn't it kind of like the how
we know that. It's like related to the truth. It's the purpose of
things, the purpose of things. Yeah, so that's what they talk about
a lot and what it's for. Yeah. So let's say if you came
over to my house and I'm serving you dinner and I'm using my iPhone to
scoop the mashed potatoes on your plate, right, that's gonna be weird.
You're like, don't you know that the iPhone can do all of these other
things other than scoop mashed potatoes. And You're like, well, it works
perfectly this way, so I'm just going to keep using it as a spoon.
And that's kind of how I feel like people are using dating. I
feel like that's how they use each other. There's a lot of abuse going
on right now, just because people are not given the skills and the tools
and the reason and the purpose and the teleology of why we are coupling,
and obviously, in our worldview, that is to get married. Yeah,
I totally agree, yes, and I talk about this all the time.
That's like my big beef with feminism really is that so much of it is
aimed at like men and women should be separate, women should be independent.
And I want to be with someone because I want to and not because I
need to, which is fine, but it's you're right, It's like people
don't understand what male female relationships are supposed to be. Now. It's like
either because I'm bored, because I'm lonely, because it's took up culture or
whatever. It's almost everything except what it's for. Yeah, and so in
our sort of orthodox thinking and pathway, this is what I was told in
primerial counseling. So there's pretty much two ways that you can choose for your
life if you want to live a very strict Orthodox life, and that is
monasticism or marriage. Because we're not supposed to be existing by ourselves. We
are supposed to be in community, in community living, or in a family
unit household. Right, because you're not protected when you're alone, you're not
protected even from yourself and your own vices. Yeah alone, So let's rewind,
let's go all the way back to maybe like when we're getting interested in
boys, like having crushes, and in middle school, you're going through puberty,
you're having the changes, you're starting to notice the other sex a little
bit more, and they will tell you that this is when you need to
establish your adult spiritual disposition, and what that means is like, know who
you are, have your relationship with God and the church, and these things
are all the things that you have to set up before you're even ready to
start thinking about being a partner to someone. Right, So, why would
kids and puberty be ready for sex but not mature enough to have it.
That's a biological question that a lot of people would ask. If you're not
ready to be doing that at thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, why is your
body ready? What would you say? Well, people do ask me that
all the time, because you know, I like I debate these types of
topics with people all the time. And there's a couple of things going on.
One is that things historically we're not like how they are now. We
live in the current culture that keeps everybody very infantilized until they're much older,
whereas like my grandma's ninety six, and by the time she was fourteen or
fifteen, she could like do all kinds of things that fourteen and fifteen year
olds can't do now. She had much more responsibility. She could almost like
run a house really if she had to. At like fifteen, she could
like, you know, kill a chicken and pluck it and cook it for
dinner, and milk a cow, and like garden and keep a house and
like do all kinds of things, and was very like mature compared to what
people are now. So I think that's one aspect, and there are other
cultures in the world where it's still a little bit more like that. Some
of the more like the less modern cultures are probably a little bit more that
way. But then I think there's a difference too between like boys and girls
and when they're ready for those sort of things. Like boys do mature a
little bit later, like physically, but it's it's like a year or two,
you know. It's like the girls would kind of start in maybe sixth
grade, seventh grade or something. And that's another thing is like historically I
don't think girls got their periods quite as young as they do now we have
girls now getting periods at like eight nine years old because of all of the
things and the food supply and the plastics and stuff like that, all the
environmental estrogens and things like that, and obesity contributes to it too. So
I think like when you look at historic examples, girls at fourteen fifteen were
probably probably a lot more ready for that sort of thing, and boys by
the time they were sixteen seventeen eighteen were like fighting in wars and doing very
adult things too, So I think that's part of it. The other part,
well, like when we talk about marriage, it's like, like you
said, you're not protected. Yeah, when you're in a marriage, it's
a different situation. You don't have the same risk in that situation that you
do if you're fifteen year old and you're just hooking up. If you were
like, you know, betrothed or you got married as a teenager. A
couple hundred years ago, it's like the rate of divorce was so low and
people tended to stay together. Your immediate family was still around most of the
time. It wasn't like it is now where everyone's so atomized and you might
not have family anywhere or anybody around you who knows what's going on. So
like, I think the whole dynamic of family and community also gave us a
layer of protection that may have made things. It might not have been a
big deal to be married at sixteen and eighteen, you know, because of
those reasons. So I think now we treat sixteen year olds like little bitty
kids in a lot of ways. And even I mean, like, there's
people in their twenties who are living with their mom, have never really gotten
a job, have hardly left the house, don't have good people skills,
have a hard time even talking to real life people and making friends this younger
generation. So I think now the thought of younger people being married or having
marital relations is like this crazy idea. Whereas if we did not, if
we weren't raised in this era and it was a couple hundred years ago,
that might not be so weird. What do you think? Here's what I
think, and I've heard it explained by a couple of different priests in this
way, is that anybody who is a parent right now to teenagers. I'm
not saying things weren't different back then, but your sixteen year old is not
ready to live on their own to get a job. They're not responsible enough.
They're not they're just don't have the skills, right, be an adult
and take all that on, right. Yeah, And your brain isn't even
fully formed until you're like in your early twenties. So this is the time
period between when you start your purity change and when you're mature enough to get
ready is when you learn manners. Basically, this is when you learn discipline.
This is when you learn how to act in the company of the opposite
sex. Yeah, you know, to have dignity and respectfulness for each other.
And number one, just to learn how to control your own body.
And it's urgent. Yeah, and because if you don't have that tool when
you're older, it's going to be a disaster. That's a very good point.
Yeah, you don't know how to control and discipline your own sexuality.
You're gonna be cheating, You're gonna be it's just gonna be terrible. So
that's maybe that gives you some time to practice managing and controlling your own passions
before actually you get married. Yeah. That's interesting too, because I mean,
the Western liberal democratic order that we live in now almost box at the
idea that people can control any urge they have. It's like the way that
things are now, it's like, and I hear this all the time.
It's like, well, people are gonna do If people are horny, they're
gonna do whatever. If people are sad, they're gonna do this, if
they're mad. There it's almost like we act as though people are slaves to
their passions and that to expect anything else is unreasonable and foolish and silly and
old fashioned. And yeah, so I think the perfect way to put it.
And that's why they put the teams on birth control and they like teach
them how to have safe sex, but they don't even tell you about the
emotional component that is not safe. So even though you might not be contracting
any kinds of diseases, you're going to be attracting. I mean, you're
going to be attaching to people. You're going to be getting your feelings hurt.
It's just terrible. And like, add social media into all of this
mix, and you're gonna get the funkiest, grossest, like slop what we
have now because like, for some reason, my algorithm and the things that
I get sent and the things that pop up for me is so much relationship
stuff. So I'm constantly hearing men complain about this and women complain about that,
and so I've crystallized all of these like top complaints, and we're gonna
like hash them out right now because I know you're a very wise person.
Oh well, thank you. I do have two daughters who are now adults,
and I had to have so many conversations with them because it was like,
well, but my friend, my friend and then her boyfriend are doing
it and they just got on birth control. And it's not like they were
even asking. It's more like they didn't understand why what we were doing was
so different because they would go to their friend's house and hear from the mom
like, it's totally natural. You're all gonna do it anyway. So I
don't want you to ruin your life with a baby or disease, So I'm
going to put you on all this stuff. And I was like, that's
exactly what I said, is like, well, how does that protect you
from getting your heart completely destroyed by your first love because you're completely unprepared.
And we treat sex as this super like like it's just smashing together body parts,
no big deal, and it's clearly not and not even for guys.
I mean maybe it's a little more casual for guys or some guys, but
I mean, like, my husband got his heart absolutely broken when he was
a teenager, and I think a lot of guys do. So oh yeah,
so tonight we're gonna be talking about presupposition and like guys are this way
and girls are this way, and I just don't agree with a lot of
the starting points. Like here's one, guys are biologically programmed and the imperative
for them is to mate with as many variety of women as possible. It's
evolutionary. Yeah, we heard that, Yes, I have, and Andy
has. Andy has argued that a lot because he doesn't agree with that either.
He's like, yeah, maybe we have like higher sex drives, but
that's because you know, women have one opportunity per month to get pregnant,
whereas you know we can do that multiple times. He's like, but that
doesn't mean that we are programmed to have harems or put as many notches on
our belt as we can possibly have. And he doesn't agree with that at
all and thinks that it's actually really damaging to men. And then it's also
of course damaging to the women that the men do that with. Yeah,
so there's one starting position that is false, and so they're gaslighting a lot
of women into thinking, well, it's okay for me to cheat and want
multiplicity and harems and like sister wives and all of that crazy stuff. But
it's not because your presupposition is false. I think you're not giving mankind and
of credit as a fine kind of child of God. They're not just be
steel animals that can't control all of their impulses, right exactly. And there's
there's another kind of motivation for this argument that came out of like the early
days of Marxism, where you saw a lot of people arguing against marriage the
nuclear family because they would say, well, this is how men preserve a
legacy and pass down property is through having one wife and a family and the
successive line of family, right, And so they would say that was bad.
So this is one of the reasons you see like the really far left
repeating this narrative all the time, is because it's been a staple within Marxism
to trash the family and say we got to like they formally wanted to get
rid of marriage all together. So that people could not pass anything down or
have a legacy through the family, and they wanted everybody's devotion to be to
the state, not to the family or things like that. So I think
that's another reason, because if you look at these sociologists and psychologists starting,
you know, like in the fifties and sixties, like the Kinzies and those
kind of people, they all kind of came from that left ethos of being
kind of Marxist sympathetic, and they want so everything became like, well,
sex is just a purely biological thing, and like you said, men are
just gonna try to spread their seat all over them. They're just gonna throw
it everywhere, like yeah, just you can have some, and you can
have everybody can have some. But that doesn't really make sense, Like even
if you did believe in evolution, which I don't, but even from their
perspective, for a man to have no idea which offspring are his doesn't make
any sense. And that was a thing that like a lot of the ancient
goddess worshiping cults would do the full moon orgies specifically so that you couldn't establish
paternity. So there's some other kind of underlying reasons why they like to push
that narrative of just men can't control themselves and they just have to spread it
everywhere far and wide, and you can't you can't expect them to have any
measure of control. And it implies that men aren't loyal and can't be trusted.
Yes, exactly, And that's what I'm seeing all over the internet is
what you just said. Men aren't loyal and can't be trusted. Which I
don't think that every man is like that, but if you give them enough
rope, they're going to act like that. Yep. Especially when they don't.
They're not very good at policing each other. I don't think, in
my opinion, men need to step up their game in like challenging other men.
Yeah, because there's one thing to hear it from a woman, and
that's a completely different ballgame when from another man. I don't know why.
I can't tell you how many times my husband will be like, you know,
Frank said something to me today that I thought was really profound, and
I'm like, I've literally said that too, like ten times, and he's
like, well, just the way Frank put it really makes sense to me.
Something about hearing it from another guy. Well, that's because I think
that's another thing that I do like to talk about sometimes, like totally get
us. I think it's pertinent men work in hierarchies. They tend to,
like if you ever see a group of guys in a room, they will
like the first kind of interactions they all have with each other is kind of
establishing where everybody is in the hierarchy, like who's the who's the kind of
alpha guy who everyone's gonna follow, like the natural leader person that everyone's gonna
follow. And then there's kind of like it's almost like a military thing where
there's like lieutenant guys and then there's worker b guys and they're like comfortable in
those. And it's situational too, like in one situation, you might be
more of a leader than others. And we've kind of destroyed that in modern
society as well. So it used to be that there was more policing.
If you go back and watch like you, I'm sure you would know because
you and Jay watch all the movies all the time, But like the older
like forties and fifties movies, it was a very common thing where it was
like if a guy was mishandling a woman, the other men would step in
so quick and take care of it that it was like not even a thing,
whereas I don't think you would even really that's you don't even see that
in movies really anymore. It's just kind of disappeared. And it's of course
always assumed that the ninety pound girl in the leggings and flip flops and absolutely
kick the shit out of any man that's that might abuse or anyway. Which
is another dangerous thing that we teach women, which is like, you're the
exact same as a man, and if he looks at you wrong, you
can just beat the crap out of him. It's a terrible thing to yell
women. Even the most like trained woman in hand to hand combat cannot be
a muscle guy. It's just speaking it not even just like an average guy.
Just it's so it's so different. And I've had people try to tell
me that, and I'm like, there's a reason I teach women how to
use guns because it's the only thing that equalizes you with a threatening man.
So so that's something I want to bring up, is that and a lot
of dating advice. You're gonna get one of the presuppositions that all people are
well adjusted people with like a good and honorable intentions, and that is just
not the case anymore, especially post the OVID, and people are going crazy
and they're getting crazier, especially with the the pokey. Yes, so you
cannot presuppose anymore that it's just like Wally Cleaver showing up at your house with
roses in his hand asking you to go for a walk in the park.
And it's not like that. No, there are literal predators and like demons
with skin on that are marking you for consumption. And if I had a
dollar for every narcissist video on YouTube, i'd be a millionaire. It's true
because there's something to it, because that's how in the spiritual world the demonic
operates. It's completely void of any It's a black hole that just eats up
everything and just like destroys everything in his path. So they're not all well
adjusted guys or girls. No, and so both sides are filled with crazies.
Yes, you know. So this brings me to the one of the
articles that popped up that went super viral this month, called the rise of
single Lonely Men in Psychology, today, And it wasn't even that in depth
of an article. It was just kind of like women's standards are here and
men aren't meeting them, and they are alone and they're sexless, and this
is going to be a problem because when you have a disproportionate amount of men
who aren't who are feral, yeah, of a better. You know,
they don't have a family, they don't have children, they don't have women
to like rain them in. They're roping around in packs like hurting people.
Right, Yeah, they are a danger to society. And I on one
hand, I feel really bad for lonely men, and then on the other
hand, I'm like, you don't have the skill set and like you're not
owed a wife, right, That is something that you earn through being having
integrity, being responsible, you know, like all of the virtues. Then
you deserve a wife, not just because you're a man. You don't like
automatically get sex whenever you want, right, And I think that goes back
to what you brought up in the beginning, which is like what are relationships
for? It used to be that to be a husband, all the guys
knew that's a big responsibility that was equated with responsibility. It wasn't just about
having sexy time. It was like, can I provide for a woman and
children? Can I handle like the ups and downs of life and like be
stable? It was like a and every man kind of knew that we used
to have courting, right, we would court like again, to go back
to my ninety six year old grandma who was day two guys, like right
at the outbreak of World War two and trying to decide between them, and
they were both phenomenal, like one ended up being an airline pilot and the
other one ended up being a business owner, and they were both great.
But when she talks about like how she sees people dating and being married and
having relationships now compared to when she was young, she's like, it's not
even the same universe. Like she doesn't even know what to make of it.
Really, She's just like, I don't know what's going on. I
don't know what's happening. It never used to be like that. And there
was like one boy. One boy came to the house asking for her,
and her dad was like, she doesn't want to talk to you because,
like, for whatever reason, the dad thought he was not fit right,
And so her dad like literally scared the guy off, which she wasn't mad
about because she said also that he wasn't like the greatest. But yeah,
it used to be men would hope that they would get a wife and that
they could prove that they would be fit husbands, and you kind of had
to like ask for the woman's hand in marriage, and you had to you
know, present a case of how you're going to support her, that you
come from a good family, that you share the same religious beliefs. Like
these were all things that people considered. And it's like now even I have
to say, even me, a lot of the stupid things I did when
I was young stemmed from just thinking that if a guy was cute and funny,
that was good enough for me. Like now I look back and almost
die of cringe about the way that I thought about things. But I was
kind of a product of my own time. And I did have a mother
who was like very leftist and very casual about that stuff, and like she
was one of the while you're gonna do it, you're going to it's just
inevitable that you're going to be having pre marital sex all over the place.
And it's like, well that is a really kind of derogatory thing to say
to your teenage child, like, well, I don't trust you to be
able to control yoursel self at all. You're just hopeless. So let's just
get you on some birth control. And that's so crazy because you're gonna suffer
two ways. You're gonna suffer from discipline or you're gonna suffer from regret.
Yes, So which one of those do you want it to be? Do
you want to be worse or better? Because you're gonna have at least you're
gonna have the benefit of having discipline and not making mistakes. And it's so
weird because I I didn't believe in marriage for a long time. I mean,
I believed in the idea of, like, you know, if you
find the perfect person or whatever, but I didn't see I wasn't super quick
to do it. I thought, you know, you could just like date
people and live together and if you love each other, it's okay. Yeah
I did too. I just saw no benefit really from locking it down.
Yeah, And I was so like, this is really everybody may or may
not know. I talk about this sometimes because it's out there anyway, and
I want people to unders stand, like I'm not this trad woman who's up
here lecturing to all of you, because I've never made mistakes and I'm like
super trad. Like that whole thing online is another huge problem, Like she's
not really trad. Huh, we're gonna talk about traditional in a second.
Yeah, So yes, I am now. But I got here through a
series of really stupid mistakes that I had work really hard to recover from.
And I it was the same thing for me, And it was mostly because
I just repeatedly, repeatedly heard that like marriage is like an outdated institution.
It doesn't really work anymore. And do you really want to be stuck with
the same boring person your whole life? You'll you know, marriage gets boring
and then you'll hate each other and you'll never have sex, and it's just
terrible, and like marriage is just a piece of paper, like all these
things that you would hear, And of course I was hearing it from like
my boomer generation parents who once been divorced twice, the other's been divorced four
times. Their friends are all divorced, like that whole generation was had some
of the highest divorce rates ever, and it was there was a slew of
movies that came out that kind of glorified divorce and made it seem like either
cool or no big deal, and so it was Yeah, I just really
heard this repeat it all the time throughout the culture growing up, that marriage
wasn't really a big deal and it's kind of old fashioned. It doesn't really
work anymore and it's just a piece of paper. And like you said,
yeah, I moved in with my first boyfriend right after high school because it
was like, well, I can't afford to live by myself and he can't
afford to live by himself, so it's convenient, and like we'll probably get
married at some point and if we don't, it doesn't matter because we love
each other and it's just all going to work out somehow. And gee whiz,
we had a baby and it didn't go like that, and it was
a heartbreaking, really awful lesson to learn that, like, gee, I
really should have looked for some sign of commitment first, because yeah, once
we had the baby, he was like, oh, I'm not ready for
this. Yeah, And I'm like, this is a really bad time to
tell about it's happening. And I think this happens all the time to a
ton of people, and we just don't take it seriously the effect it has
on everyone involved, on the kids, on the parents, on both families
of the people. So reason dating is so important in marriage is so important
because it is a salvific act, yes, of martyrdom. H And that
is a topic for a whole another show, because in some ways the thing
is flipped. Like, in dating you can be super picky, you can
break up with whoever you want. You can choose not like I don't want
this, you can go a different direction. But in marriage you can't,
right, So you have to be so careful about who you get married.
So we're going to try and figure out how you can make some smarter choices
even than we have made in the past. Right, Yeah, And I
mean even if you're somebody who maybe you're not Orthodox, maybe you don't really
care about all that, and you don't think there's anything morally wrong with divorce.
Still, what more important decision are you ever going to make in your
life than choosing the father or mother of your children? Like, what other
decision do you make in life that has that big of an impact on you
for the rest of your life? Very few things right, So it's super
important. So some of the top memes that I've been seeing, The first
one I want to talk about is who has a harder time in life?
Men or women? Because I hear both ramming about we have it so hard,
No, we have it so hard, No we do, and so
like women are like we are pressed and abuse, which is true, and
the men are like, while men's rights in all of this, the court
system and you know a lot of those facts is true too. So I
was thinking about this for a long time and I was like going back and
forth, who has a harder time in life? And I want you to
give your answer first and then I'll give mine. Okay, I talk about
this a lot too. I think it's equal, but it's at different times
in life. So when you're young, when you're a young woman, you
don't even have to be like a super hot woman. You can just be
like average attractiveness. If you are young and fertile, life is pretty easy.
That might sound good, but it's actually very dangerous because it kind of
tricks us as young women into thinking it will always be this way. So
when you're a pretty eighteen year old, right, you're a pretty attractive fertile
eighteen year old men kind of bend over backwards to give you things and do
stuff for you, and like in very subtle ways and in much more obvious
ways, like paying for your dinner, and like, there are guys who
will totally simp and like bend over backwards and give women anything they want.
If you're on the side of the road with your tire blown versus a guy
on the side of the road with a tire blown, people are probably gonna
stop for you. Things like that. But the thing about that is that
it's a lot of power and it's a lot of benefit early in your life,
but it only lasts for a short time. It's kind of like Cinderella
with the pumpkin at midnight, where her carriage turns into a pumpkin and everything
goes back. It's kind of like that, because you everybody's heard of the
wall probably where women hit thirty five ish forty, maybe something like that,
and she might still look great, she might be very charming, she might
still be very attractive, but suddenly men just aren't as enthusiastic and the world
isn't kind of bending over backwards to treat you a certain way based on what
you look like or things like that. I think of all these young girls
right now who started only fans the day they turn eighteen, and they're getting
some money and they're getting some attention, and they think that's great, and
it's like they're never thinking about what they're gonna do with the second half of
their life. So that's a really double edged sort. It might make it
seem like we have this huge advantage, and we kind of do, but
only for a very limited amount of time, and then once that's gone,
life can be very hard. Especially I think it's worse the more attractive you
are. If you're like a super hot ten aging is, it's going to
be very hard for you because you have so much less incentive to sacrifice yourself
for a family, to live that ascetic marriage life, or be a mother
or things like that, because you can really capitalize on your looks and your
attractiveness and get almost anything you want, and then you hit forty or fifty,
and woe. All of a sudden, the world feels cruel and mean
and you don't understand why it's happening. There was a really good video by
a guy named Better Bachelor where he viewed this video a woman made and she
was in this exact circumstance where she was very attractive, and she was like
crying the whole video. She was crying and she was trying not too,
but she couldn't help herself. And she was like, I'm almost forty.
All my friends are married, and men just aren't coming like they used to.
They're just not flocking to me like they used to. And I used
to be able to have a different boyfriend every couple months and they would take
me on expensive vacations, and you know, I just got used to this,
and now suddenly it's like nobody cares about me as a person. And
now that I'm older, am I just going to be thrown away? And
it was actually like super heartbreaking, and the guy wasn't even mean. He
was like, this is really sad to watch this woman go through this.
And men bear some responsibility in that too. Patrick from Church of the Eternal
Logos talks about this sometimes that men do have a responsibility not to do that
to women, not to just like shower them with whatever because we want them
when they're young and then treat them like garbage when they get older. That's
a really cruel thing to do. So I think on that aspect of life,
women you could say have the advantage, right, it's easier for them,
But then later in life men have opposite. When men are young,
they have to prove themselves. Nobody cares if a nineteen year old man's going
through something hard. It's like he has to prove his worth. He has
to produce something, He has to provide value. He has to prove that
he can be competent, that he can do something of value and make money,
and things like that. Nobody cares. Like, even if you're a
good looking guy at nineteen, the world isn't gonna like coddle you at all.
However, for men, as they get older, like by the time
men get to like thirty five or forty, they've probably accumulated a lot of
resources. They've probably built up some wealth, their earning power is much better
than it was when they were eighteen or twenty, and they have the kind
of an ocean of women to choose from at that point. Because women tend
to seek out like resources and stability from a man, so they're attracted to
that. Men tend to age pretty well and look pretty good even into their
forties and fifties. So at that point, I think the advantage switches to
the men, where the men can kind of choose. And nowadays there's already
a lot of divorced women, you know, who are like thirty and kind
of desperate for a good, good, solid guy with resources, and they
have the money to deal with the hard things in life, and they've matured
and they've gotten pretty tough. So I think in their later years things are
easier for men. So I don't think anyone gender has like an obvious lifelong
advantage. I think it's different phases, and I don't think we think about
that enough that there's phases of life for both sexes and they're different. That's
really interesting that you put it that way. And then another thing they'll talk
about is the patriarchy is the oppressive thing. And I don't know if we've
put it this way before, but like, whoever is in charge is screwing
up, right, So if it's the patriarchy, if that's what you want
to call it, then yes, that needs to be overhauled and great reset
or whatever, you know, like everyone's hearts needs to be repentive. And
so I don't want to put out anyone's grievance because they're waking up to things,
but they just don't know how to identify the perpetrator. That makes sense.
Yeah, yeah, and I think, well, I think that,
Uh, I don't think we have a patriarchy now, but it's like it's
kind of like who's in charge are the most narcissistic people. We have a
system where it's like the more ruthless, vindictive and narcissistic you are, you're
going to be more powerful. I mean, look at people like Andrew Tate.
You know, that's why will always do better in business than when because
they have that instinct because there's estrogen and testosterone and estrogen cares and they care
about your feelings. They don't want to hurt people, and like they want
to nurture them and they don't want to get hurt themselves. And testosterone just
like breaks through that wall. You need both. Yeah, but yeah,
and I think that there's like, so I think that stoic masculine men,
if they're Christian moral men or like some of the best human beings on planet
Earth. I can think of several of them that I know. They're the
kind of guys that will run into a burning building to save everybody else,
and their masculine testosterone stoic self is what allows them to do that, and
we need those guys. But then you meet the men who that turns them
into predators, like dangerous predators. And I think with women, it's like
them that instinct that allows us to be like loving and charming and kids like
us, and animals like us, and men like us. We're very likable,
we're very agreeable. There are narcissistic, psychopathic women who use that as
like a facade, right, they seem so charming and sweet, but secretly
they're like strangling infants in the ICU or something you've seen everybody's seen, like
some crazy story about a horribly evil woman and everybody thought she was like they
always present as like super sweet, you know what I mean. So I
think both sexes can have the toxic aspect and then they can have the embodiment
of the best aspect. And I think a lot of that comes from just
like the fact that we live in this materialistic, non Christian world now where
everybody thinks that everything's just evolution and chemicals in your brain and whatever, as
long as it doesn't harm anyone, it's fine, but like, does the
stuff harm people? You and I would say it does, but other people
would just you know, the consequential lists and the utilitarians don't think of morality
that way, and so you do end up with a society where it's like
the most ruthless people do the best, So we incentivize that behavior. So
that you were talking about girls in their prime, and especially hot girls tens
or you know that level. Yeah, and it's like, are they crazy
or are they crazy because a lot of crazy things happen to them because of
their looks. Because a pretty girl is going to see a different side of
men that not everybody has seen. She's going to see married guys making eyes
at her, she's going to see community guys flirting with her. She's gonna
see the worst yeah of men. Yeah right, and she's just more of
a target for abuse because of how she looks. Yeah, that's true,
And I think, like that's why I was saying, I don't necessarily think
that's an advantage. It might appear that way if you're if you're one of
the angry, terminally online in cell guys, which I'm not even slurring you
guys, I understand a lot about why in cells or in cells and what
that's like, and it's not cool, but it does tend to like turn
people extremely nihilistic and nasty sometimes, and so they'll look at hot women and
be like, oh, it must be nice to be her. It's like,
eh, not really. In fact, there's lots of times where I've
been really thankful that, especially girls growing up in this age right now.
My oldest is very, very pretty, and I had lots of conversations with
her about that as she was growing up, because I think some of these
pretty girls with Instagram and everything else, they learn that their self worth is
in their looks. And then if you gain fifteen pounds or you know,
you get a little bit older and start to get wrinkles or all the things
that happen to all of us. You have children and your body looks different,
it's like you don't handle it well and it's really hard on you.
And I'm super thankful that growing up, I wasn't like an ugly kid,
but I wasn't like the hot girl in school, and so my identity was
formed around like my intelligence or my talents or the way that I treated people,
or you know my character, and I'm actually super thankful for that,
because I think that if you're a girl who's super attractive, it skews your
sense of self and you think that you are your body or you think that
you are your looks, and you do get trained by the people around you,
by men around you that that's what you're for well, and for men
that approach you and pursue you are going to be valuing that yes more.
And so what happens when you get old is gonna like you anymore. It's
terrible if you look at a lot of like the old Hollywood movie stars like
Hetty Lamar or Elizabeth Taylor, the ones that were called like the world's most
beautiful woman, They've all been married like six times, eight times, nine
times, like Hetty Lamar became a total recluse and didn't even see people in
person for like the last couple decades of her life, and it kind of
drove these women crazy because especially at that time and like the Golden era of
Hollywood, there was only a handful of these women and they were known around
the world. So it was like what we're talking about with Instagram, but
like times a million, where it's like every man you meet only sees you
as that there's nothing else to you. So I think it makes it like
impossible to not go kind of crazy and have tons of issues. Yeah,
And I think girls do that because that's just reinforced, like it's their way
of getting love and attention. Yeah, And so Instagram is just disgusting.
So we have to be mature about the reasons why people post their naked selves.
Yeah, I have to look beyond that, like it's it's a cry
for help, it's an insecurity, it's this is all I have to offer,
yeah, right, because I probably think of anything else and no one
has fostered that in me to um offer the world on my page that shows
you my personality except my body, right exactly. It's like nobody cares about
that. That's not going to get you likes and sponsorships and paid subscriptions and
all that stuff. And it's like my older daughters too, Like the the
amount of attention that these girls pay to their every little thing about their physical
self is mind blowing to me. Like I was thinking about it and I'm
like, I don't remember ever caring what my butt looked like in eighth grade,
ever, like we cared about like, oh my gosh, she has
the cool new, like I'm going to show my aide here, you guys.
She has the cool new like La Gear tennis shoes or those awesome stonewashed
jeans that I want, or she's wearing the cool new like brand of sweater
that everybody wants, or like I would look at other girls and be like,
oh my god, why can't I get my bangs that tall? You
know? Oh? Kay, yeah, But there was never this insane emphasis
that girls have networks. Like there's girls who are in seventh, eighth,
ninth grade going, well, I have to start an only fans because how
else am I going to pay for my butt injections and my lip fillers and
my fake eyelashes. And they think you have to do that. They think
you have to be that way. And this goes back to something else I
like to talk about when it comes to feminism, which is breaking the social
contract. So when we had the sexual Revolution, we had all these women
who decided they're gonna do free love, and that goes back pretty far.
That goes back to like the eighteen hundreds of the free love stuff, where
it was like you don't need marriage, and you know, again it comes
out of this Marxist ethos, and so we can all just love each other
and sex is just sex. I'm loving you, he's loving her, she's
loving him. It's all good, right. And then we had the big
hippie free love thing where it used to be all the girls had like an
unspoken code of you don't do that until marriage. Yes, we tended to
kind of shame the girls who did tramp around unmarried. Yeah, because you're
like saturating the market if we're looking at something like supplying to man. If
you put out that kind of terms, like you are cheapening everything. Yes.
So it's like, why would the guys hold out for the girl who's
holding out? Like why would a guy wait? And I hear this from
men all the time now. They're like younger men who still have a lot
of options, especially if they're attractive. They're like, why would I date
some girl who's not going to sleep with me for two years and make me
date her for two years until we get married. That's stupid. There's one
hundred other girls who will sleep with me on the first date, and you
can say that's terrible, and they shouldn't say that, but it's kind of
true. It's like, if women are just going to give that up,
it really did change for the rest of us. There's no leverage anymore to
like expect marriage, right, So if you are a girl who wants that,
it's very hard because you're like, well, I expect a good courtship
and a lot of conversation about our expectations, our values, what kind of
life we want to live, all these things so we can figure out if
we can get married. And guys are just like, yeah, it's way
easier just to swipe on the Tinder and find somebody for one night. You
know, yeah, their attitudes if you want a hundred other girls will yeah,
click and they're right. The thing that sucks is that they're right.
And this is one of the I feel like it's one of the big mistakes
we made that threw off everything for everyone. And it kind of inspire the
men to be more competitive sexually, because men always have competed to a certain
degree for wives, right, But when you have dudes who are like,
well, I'm gonna try to school like these awful pickup artists. Guys.
There's one that claims he's been with fifteen hundred women. I will tell you
right now, no you haven't. I don't believe that for one second,
based on multiple things. No you haven't. Let me pause you right there,
because him saying that is just so telling that he's hurting inside. Yeah,
I mean, isn't it obvious if you're promiscuous, it's because you have
like an internal problem, especially if it's not a degree so like virile and
handsome and like charming and women throw that it's not that you know who damaged
people coping? Yes, So Andy has had multiple conversations with these guys because
he's trying to, like, in his own way, how he debates prove
that to them. Yeah, He's like, you can sit here and tell
me all night long that this is based and awesome and cool and that it
doesn't affect you. Right, And the girl told me it's fine. All
these girls are totally fine with it. What's wrong with it? They're fine
with it. I'm fun and we're all having fun. What's the big deal?
Why are you such a square? And Andy's like trying to get into
all the reasons why it's not good and why it's not cool and why it's
not as awesome as you think it is, And why are you teaching people
this and all that stuff with them? And first of all, I think
most of them why, I really do, because it's like, if you
think about the numbers, it's like, you'd have to have five girls a
week over twenty years, every single week. And I'm looking at you and
I'm listening to you, and I just have my doubts. But it's like,
so, where does this market come from? That these guys have huge
YouTube channels and coaching businesses where they're teaching other guys to do this. Yeah,
and this would not be possible if we still had kind of this unspoken
contract among women that like, hey, we all want a guy to commit
and make a family with us. Therefore, it's not good for any of
us if we are all just like giving away sex for free, right,
And you mentioned getting lip fillers and butt fillers and all of that stuff.
So a lot of times when I'm scrolling, I'll see somebody pop up and
they'll be like, men don't like it when you're loud, Men don't like
it when you blah blah blah. And I'm just like, save it,
okay, because if you live your life as a woman for what men like.
You're gonna have a bad time. Okay, Yeah, you're gonna have
a really bad time, and you're gonna screw up your body really bad because
honestly, like, men will How do I put this gently? I don't
think you have to put it gently. I think you can just say it
like, they'll stick it in a chicken sandwich. That's true. Okay,
so true if it fancies them. So do they slave your life based on
making decisions for what men like because you're gonna look like a cartoon? Yes,
and they do. They Have you seen some of these girls with the
hip injections that just look absurd. It looks like they have on pants that
are filled with air or something. It's like and the eyelashes fake eyelashes,
and the lips are out of control. Yeah, it looks absurd, And
it's like That's the other thing is I don't think it's really the men driving
this. Maybe maybe with the Pamela Anderson fake boobs and things like that from
the nineties, there was some of that, but now I think a lot
of it is women competing with women for attention on the inner Yeah. So
it's like whoever has the craziest You know, if you can get your waist
this big and your hips this big, and like your butt sticks out so
far behind you that it literally looks like you've got two giant balloons in the
back of your pants. It looks ridiculous. Well, this is so interesting.
It back in the Victorian era, the same look was in but you
created it with like a bustle or something, didn't actually modify your body,
which I think is like sliding into transhumanism. It is. I think it
absolutely is, and I think I don't think it's accidental that like people who
we know are in that scene, like the Kardashians are doing that. Elon
Musk's girlfriend is whatever she is, partner baby Mama Grimes. She's had like
weird facial surgery. Now she's trying to look like an elf. I think
she's giving the ears. Yeah, oh no, I heard she was talking
about that. I'm like, you're a musician, why would you modify your
She did a bunch of stuff. I don't know if she did the ears
yet, but she did something with her eyelids and some kind of weird lift.
And it's all part of this process of trying her, trying to transform
herself into this otherworldly creature. Madonna can't recognize her now. Cardi B looks
totally different than she did five years ago, all these girls, the Chloe
Kardashian, Yeah, you would never know it's the same person as five years
ago. And we're all just going to pretend this is normal. I guess,
so it's quite weird. Don't do it because that's what men like do
things, because that's what God wants you to do. You're not trying to
please all met And that's another thing is so freeing when you grow up you
don't feel the need to be universally sexually appealing. Yes, right, it
was. I was telling Andy about this over the summer that one of the
cool things about getting older as a woman is now like I can have a
discussion with a man who's half my age and they just think of me like
a nice lady who's telling them about whatever. It's There is no more like
are we gonna are we gonna do this later? You know? Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, some of that goes away where you don't. You're just
not identified by that all the time. You're not just like and that's what
it is when you're in your twenties, every interaction with a man is usually
that for the most part, and you just so until the girls talk a
lot about we're not dressing for the male gaze anymore. We're not looking at
ourselves through the eyes of how a men would perceive us. We're dressing to
where things that we would like, and it doesn't matter if we look hot
or if we look sexy, or like you said, I wonder what my
butt looks like in this. Not that I don't want to, like look
nice for my husband, sure, but I'm not trying to attract every person
because that's just too much, that's too stressful. I don't want to reject
every person. I don't even want them to think about me like that.
I Do'm not thinking about them like that. I'd rather just be platonic.
Yeah, it's so nice to just talk to people as people and not have
that be part of the equation. It's one of the nicer things I think
about getting a little older is you don't have to deal with that. But
I think what you just said is you should be pleasing God. I think
that's the heart of the problem of all of this. I just made a
threat about it on Twitter today about how we especially in America because it's a
very Protestant country, still, we Protestants just took Mary. They took the
Theatokos, the queen of Heaven, the Mother of God, and just chucked
her out the window and got rid of her. And I don't think it's
a coincidence that right after that is when all the sexual liberation and the feminism
and all this kind of stuff started, we no longer have her as like
the ultimate example of like what real womanhood is. So the only thing left
to emulate is men, the only you know. It's like, well,
I want to be powerful, so I have to be like a man,
or I want to be influential, so I have to be like a man.
I want to be free, so I have to be like a man.
It's like we don't have her as an example, and we're not acting
like she did to please God. I mean, she was this bastion of
humility and self sacrifice and kindness and gentleness and caring and like, imagine what
kind of woman you would be if you had God in your womb for nine
months. She's like the ultimate example. And now we're looking at Kim Kardashian
or somebody and holding or her up, or even like a Taylor Swift or
pick whoever you want. But we don't have even like you know, Hillary
Clinton or Sarah Palin ray Is female politicians. These are not and shouldn't be
like the standard for what womanhood is. We shouldn't be pushing women that you
have to be a career woman to be worth a crap, or you have
to be sexy to be worth something, or you like all these other weird
standards are never going to measure up to that. And I think that if
we could bring that back, it would help a lot. I think the
inverse of that female role model is like men don't have a lot of good
male role models, and they're taught that masculinity is just not femininity, right.
They're taught like, don't act like a girl, don't cry because that's
like what girls do. Like, they're just taught not to be women.
Yeah, So in that way, they denigrade womanhood and femininity because they're trying
to be a man, which they see as the opposite of that. So
it's just like a weird mind game that guys that don't have good role models
get into. Yeah, and the other part of that is that a lot
of guys don't even have very many men in their life at all. Yeah,
they're like raised by single moms. They go to school and their teachers
a woman. They go to daycare and it's daycare lady and stuff like that,
and so it's like they're in this weird space where they're kind of expected
to act like a girl, but also never act like a girl, like
don't be a fag, right, probably shouldn't say that word on YouTube,
but don't be that, but also like, don't be toxic masculinity. And
you can't rough house with other boys on the playground or you're gonna get kicked
out of school. And it's like everything is so screwed up now, and
I think this is what kicked the door open for the trans stuff, because
now it's like, well, what really, I mean, people are making
entire documentaries about what is a woman? What is a woman? What is
a man? It's anybody can be either one, and we just it's whatever
you identify as and we don't even know is it fashion, is it biology,
is it certain characteristics? Nobody knows anymore? Does it even matter?
You can just be whatever. You can just be a furry, you can
be an elf, you can be whatever you want. And these how could
we expect society to thrive under any of these conditions? Like how do we
think it's not going to get grossly like oh, distorted and horrific. I
mean this is all part of depopulation, Yeah, is getting men and women
separate, yep, and getting women not even interested in marriage anymore when they're
the ones who would usually always like kind of push for that, like where
is this relationship going? That's what typically the woman would be like, yeah,
asking, And now they're done, they don't want it anymore. It's
over, like romance is dead. So like wrapping up this question of who
has it worse, men or women, I would say that, like you
said, it's equal, because I mean God is a just judge, right,
and it wouldn't be fair to have one gender have like smooth sailing and
the other one to just be like under the boot all the time. Yeah.
So I think you know, we were equally cursed and blest according to
what we deserved in the fall, and we both are living out those consequences.
Yeah, and one does not have it harder than the other, which
right, I agree, yep. But it's funny because men would be like
if I was a woman, I would be so rich because I'd just be
a stripper or I'd just got harge for it or whatever. And that's because
they're thinking with their male mind, like yeah, right, they don't think
about how damaging that is. Yeah. I had like this huge blowout fight
with Destiny and a debate that we did about that because he tried to tell
me that being like, how do I say it? It got it got
gross, to be honest, the fight with him did. But I was
basically like, you're not a woman. You don't know what it's like to
be like penetrated by somebody, like, so don't sit here and tell me
like anything about that. And he just insisted that, yeah, it's all
the same. But he's like a notorious kumer. He's he thinks that,
like I said, he's one of those people that thinks that human sexuality is
just like clapping your hands, you know, it's just smashing stuff together.
It means nothing. It's just slippery body parts and that's all it did,
all it is. And to believe that you really do have to be pretty
nihilistic and not see human beings as human beings really, you know, and
I that's why I think it is. It's pretty transhumanist. It's this idea
that like we're either animals or we're so above being human that like none of
the stuff matters and we can just we can just do these things and it's
not going to have this huge effect. But everything you do matters, especially
once you get married, everything you do matters. Yeah, everything you do
affects the other person. And that's why it is in a sea path and
you have to the only way to really have like a good marriage. People
ask me and Andy the Sultan will be like, what's the secret to a
good marriage? And it's like we started to have a good marriage when we
both genuinely cared more about taking care of the other person, like we really
I fully did that for him and he fully did that for me. And
that's really hard. That's the other thing is like good marriages are hard.
Like you said, it's either the pain of regret or the pain of discipline.
You can pick which kind of hard life is going to be hard.
There's no like easy path. All easy paths just lead to like nihilism,
and depression and suicide and stuff like that. Anyway, So it's like,
do you want to be lonely and just have meaningless hookups and end up dying
like alone, or like having this empty life of meaningless interactions but never have
to like sacrifice anything or give anything, or do you want to have to
give completely of yourself and really sacrifice yourself for the other and become one with
that person, which is hard and it's giving up a lot. But then
if you do that and the other person does it, what you get out
of it is like more than you ever. You can't explain to somebody what
that's really like. When you have that with someone else, it's like it
really is a miracle. It's why it's a sacrament of the church. Have
you heard of Tom Brady and Chisels break up? Yes, So here's an
example of two people that have everything you could ever want materially. She's beautiful,
he's good looking. She's a supermodel. He's a successful NFL player.
They've got more money than they could ever spend, they've got beautiful children.
But now they're getting divorced because why because well, the story is that he
had promised to retire from football for many years and he never did, and
so she was just like waiting, waiting, waiting to have a family or
to have him be part of the family. Yeah, and he told her
he quit, He kind of semi quit, and then he jumped right back
into it and she was like, no, you disappointed me for the last
time. I'm out right. So it's like, if these people can't make
it work, then what is the hope for anybody else. But it's like,
well, first let's start with Tom. I mean, he said he
would do the thing. He said he would retire, because she was saying,
he's never around on Thanksgiving, he's never on Christmas Birthday. He's missed
pretty much our entire life for the past however, many years because of football.
And finally there was some kind of light at the end of the time
and he just totally renigged. And I'm thinking a lot of guys were like,
well, he loves it, he should be able to do what he
loves and she should stand by him, and blah blah blah. But I'm
like, it's kind of irresponsible of him. It's very selfish. I think
of him and I'll get itself. But he's doing this for him self only,
not his family. If he was making the decisions to keep his family
together, he would be retiring or cutting back or coaching or doing something where
he can, you know, like make his wife happy. And it reminded
me of this story that this priest hold. And he was like, there
was a young couple, a young priest and his matushka, and they were
building a church and they just got married, and the wife would be like,
can you come home for dinner at a certain time every day? And
he'd be like, yeah, I'll come home for dinner and he never and
he like, I was working late building the church. I was trying doing
the Lord's work right. And she would get so mad at him and like
like it was a problem. So he went to his spiritual father. He's
like, my wife is crazy. She doesn't want me to in God's work.
And the guy's like, that's not true, because you're supposed to be
taking care of her. And he's like, why are you building. Why
are you putting so much time over time into building the church. He's like,
well, because I want to get it done fast so everyone thinks that
I'm a good priest. He's like, so you're doing it for you.
You should have been home for dinner when your wife asked you to and let
the church go on its own time, because your first responsibility is to her.
Right, even though you were doing the Lord's work, you were doing
everything good and perfect, you were self sacrificing blah blah blah. You were
sacrificing her, which is not like the thing that you were called to do
by being a husband. Yeah right, Yeah. What do you think about
Tom, Well, I don't know much about them personally, but if that's
what's going on, I think there's a couple of things that I would say.
One is I have I wrote like an article on my sub stack or
maybe it was when I had Patreon about how most women think they want that
ultra successful like alpha male stereotype. Right, they think they want the Tom
Brady or the Brad Pitt. But guess what you don't The vast majority of
women are not happy with that. They're not happy with it because those type
of men are so successful because they are extremely driven, and they are probably
going to because even if even if they're not doing football, right, if
Tom Brady quit football tomorrow, he's still going to have probably everyone in his
inner circle probably looks to him for advice and is going to call him and
need his help and ask him for interviews or to do this project or to
do that project. And those kind of men don't get to that level because
they're good at saying no to those things. Like to a certain degree.
There are personality types you have to deal with. So that's one thing.
Is if you're a woman who wants a guy who's present and paying attention to
you and spending time with the family, settle for a much more modest home,
a lot less expensive vacations or diamonds or whatever, and get a good
like Delta type of guy, a guy who's like a worker bee, but
he's the kind of guy who when you say, honey, can you fix
the fence. The fence broke, He's gonna go, sure, I'll take
care of it this weekend. He'll just go right out there and fix it
up. Like my dad is this kind of a personality type where the way
he shows you he loves you is like doing things for you, building stuff
for you, you know, spending time with you, plan out a whole
vacation and like take the family on a vacation and stuff like that. He
might not like say you're pretty every day and be like, oh my god,
I'm just he's not like romantic that way, but he's very present and
he likes to serve, you know what I mean. That kind of guy
is usually a pretty solid husband for like most women. But most women they
chase after these these types because they see them being successful. But you have
to be realistic about the fact that you're probably not going to just change him
into a guy who wants to stay home with you. It's probably not going
to happen. It's pretty clear that his joy is the football and not the
family. Yeah, well, those guys will have a family, but they
probably are thinking like this is who I am and this is what my worth
is, and I can't just stop being this to like stay home like it
might drive them crazy and to a certain extent, like tigers don't change their
stripes. That's the other big thing is like, don't marry a guy and
then think that he's going to change. And I think it is a totally
reasonable expectation for a mother and a wife to want the husband to be home
and spend a certain amount of time with the family. But there's trade offs
with that, you can't. I see this a lot with like even some
of my friends where it's like they want the man to make a lot of
money, and they want a bigger house, and they want a new car
every other year, and they want to go to Disney this week or this
year every single year. I have some friends are like this. They like
expect all these things and the guy is like, okay, and so he
puts in more hours and he's working a bunch of overtime and he's like busy
all the time. And then they'll also complain that he doesn't give me enough
attention, he doesn't spend enough time. It's like, well, you kind
of gotta there. You can't. He can't be everything and he can't do
all things. And I feel like in general, women have a little bit
higher expectations once they're married. Of like, I want them to be romantic,
and I want him to care about my feelings and I want him to
listen. But I also want him to surprise me with stuff and buy me
nice things. And I want to have a nice home and a nice neighborhood
with a new car every couple of years, and I want to be able
to take patients, but I also want him to be home all the time
and home for dinner every day. It's like you have to also understand that
he's a person and you kind of have to decide what you want. It's
the same thing for men. Men have to deal with something else I call
the crazy hot axis. So if your primary thing is you want that super
hot ten girl that every man wants, and she has her pick of every
guy, they tend to be a little more crazy, and for all the
reasons we already talked about. Because they've already been like used a lot,
because they've already developed an identity based around their looks, they tend to be
less emotionally stable and things like that. So it's like, are you sure
she needs to be twenty and like scorching hot, or would it be better
if you want a family to choose a woman who is still attractive to you,
But maybe she's not gonna have a modeling contract tomorrow, and maybe she
dresses modestly and is more interested in, you know, substantive things in life
and not gonna be like, you know, pushing up her boobs and spending
ten hours in front of the mirror and looking super hot to be arm candy.
You know, maybe you have to pick a woman who is good mom
material, but she's not as exciting. She's not gonna like sleep with you,
and you know, guys tend to like this, she's crazy in the
sack type of girls or whatever. So it's like, well, but those
girls, you can't just convert them to moms, right, you can't just
like snap your fingers and marry them. This is another thing where it's like
all the men that married Marilyn Monroe thinking she was going to become like this
stay at home mom. Yeah, that's like they always complain that women want
to change men after they get with them, but men are just as guilty
of that, like thinking that they can change a girl that like just you
said, they pick the prettiest one and hope it's gonna work out, right,
you know, like I can change her if I take her to church
or I can you know, then she'll be great. But um, okay,
so Giselle is up supermodel. Yeah, she would be what you would
call a ten yep, right, super high status like yashi, and it's
not enough for Tom Brady to want to be around her. So there's got
to be more substance to that. Also, she's a confirmed witch. I
did not know that. What. I haven't followed her much. I don't
know as much of the pop culture stuff as you do. There was I'm
not shocked, right, which is like that could be like Bruharia or whatever.
So there's this interview where she's talking about he wins all the super Bowls
because of all the rituals that she does, and she does her crystals and
she does her altar and her prayers and her literal witchcraft for him to win
the way he's been winning. I can't believe you've never heard that before.
So basically they're in the battle of will projection. No wonder their marriage didn't
work out. Like he's trying to project his will, she's trying to project
her will, and they're basically having like a witch fight. He looks a
whole like sucked up and awful and like he looks sickly because they're separating and
everyone's making fun of him, saying that she's put a hex on him because
he's just like, you know, looks bad. A plot thickens, Yeah,
another reason not to go after the supermodels guys. They're like, well,
So I just debated somebody last week, a girl who is kind of
notorious online and she was a sex worker, and she's she hadn't only fans,
but she quit only fans only to do a Patreon that's exactly the same
thing with nudes and everything. And she's got like the bof from tattooed between
her boobs, and she's got satanic stuff all on one arm, like all
these satanic tattoos everywhere, and she'll take like nude, sexy pictures of herself
covered in blood and things like that. And yeah, she was like pretty
forward about the fact that she gets what she wants, Like look at me,
Look what I look like. I'm gonna get what I want. So
here's something I hear a lot. What do you think of the advice If
he wanted to he would, you mean, like get married anything, If
he wanted to bring me flowers, he would, if he wanted to get
married, ask me if he wanted to be in a committed relationship he I
mean, just because a lot of girls get like confused about whether a guy
likes her or not or what he wants from her, And I'm like,
it's not that confusing, Like if a guy likes you, you will know
and if you are confused, he doesn't like you that much. Right,
Okay, so if he wanted to he would. What do you think about
that? Oh, that's true for sure. Like in fact, Andy says
that now you sound like him. He says that all the time. He's
like, because guys will be like, well, how do I date a
girl? And like how do I even date girls? And like they act
like and he's like, they're not mysterious like you think they are. Like
if if they like you, you'll know, and if you like them,
they'll know. Like that is true, and yeah, if you if you're
having to work for like commitment, that's a very bad sign. That was
me. That was twenty year old me going, but we're gonna get married
eventually, right, and he's like, yeah, totally sure we are,
you know. And it was always like me going, so how are things
with us? And him being like, we don't need to talk about that.
What's wrong with you? You know, like that kind of thing.
No, that's ridiculous anybody. Now, Like my oldest daughter was dating a
guy and she was like, I don't know, I feel like and I
was like, if you feel like that, no, no use wasting any
more time. No, okay, So I'm gonna put a star about that
advice. I agree with that. I mean, it's like they'll give you
every excuse in the book why they're not, you know, living up to
your standards or meeting your needs and dating or whatever. You just have to
say. If he wanted to, he would. If that's true, he
would do it. Like Andy and I tried to break up once and he
called me every single day that we were broken up, and then he ended
up coming across the country just to like be like, let's just get back
together, because we were both being stubborn at that point. But it was
like he would call me for ridiculous things that I knew he wasn't calling me
for, like oh, I can't find my my earbuds and I'm like,
how would I know where your earboats are? I don't live with you,
and like we're broken up, remember, and he'd be like, oh,
yeah, that's right, so how are you doing? You know, just
like stupid excuses. So and we kind of both did that, it wasn't
just him, but yeah, it's like it was still really obvious if he
wanted to, like drive the distance to take you on a date. He
would do it if he wanted, Like they're not watch the dude. You
know he's going to if he wants that truck, he's going to buy it.
Have you ever seen him like self sacrifice all of the things that he
wants for some other higher reason. No, he's not marrying you because he
doesn't want to, right right. Yeah, he's not that altruistic to just
like not do the things that he wants to do. No, And guys
are like so one of the big differences is like sometimes women we just want
to vent and like be her. And sometimes when you do that to your
man, he thinks you're asking him to fix something, and you might not
be. You might just be wanting to vent and complaint because sometimes we do
that. But like my dad is this way and Andy's this way where I'll
be venting about something that like so I should do this about it, and
I'm like no, I'm just I'm just frustrated, so I want to talk
about it. And they're like, oh, guys are more action oriented.
Yeah, they don't. He's not sitting there going if I play hard to
get then she'll want to marry me. Guys. Yeah that no, it's
so obdious. That's funny. Okay. So you mentioned socially awkward guys,
um, no emotional skills, and this is what they were talking about in
that Psychology Today article is like the guys do not have the tool kit to
relate to people nowadays. Um. And this is where redpill comes in.
This is where like manosphere comes in and they're like exploiting Yeah, way who
have not been like just socialized right right. Yeah, It's like red pill
is one of those things where it's you go to a formist, like you
open the door and you're like clo. You know, not today, okay,
but more and more boys like you've mentioned entertain are like latching on to
certitude of people with asinine opinions. Yes, And number one, I just
want to say, if you're bad at talking to girls, not just people
in general, but like girls specifically, it's because you want something from them.
Yes, it's because all you can think about is what you're gonna get,
what kind of sexual favor you're gonna get, what kind of social credit
you're gonna get for being seen with them, etc. And I have like
an anecdote that I I understand how this feels, and I can put myself
in a guy's shoes, and that's why I know I'm talking about. So
one time I moved to a new town and I didn't know anybody, and
we were trying to buy flowers that you smoke. Uh huh. You know,
we're trying to find where can you buy this? And you have to
know somebody. And so if you don't know anybody, you have to like
actively go out into the world because you have the need or this want or
this thing, and you have to profile people, right, You're like,
that guy has dreadlocks and a Bob Marley shirt, he probably has what I
want. Yeah, let you know. And so this is like a guy
looking for a pretty girl, you know, like I like the profile,
this is what I'm looking for. So you have to approach that person in
wild yeah, you know them, ask them all about their personality and all
in the back of your mind you're wondering when you can bring up, like,
hey man, do you anything for me? Yeah? Okay, And
I'm just thinking, this is how guys feel when they go out and all
they want is the sex. Because I wasn't listening to this guy, I
didn't care about him. I don't All the questions I'm asking him are moot
because they're just me trying to establish like a level of comfortable yeah, so
I can get what I really want. And I'm like, this is how
guys treat women in like society, right, That's why women are like,
he doesn't care about me or what I have to say or my opinions.
He just wants what he wants. And I'm like, yeah, because he's
trying to get hit but he's addicted to Yeah. So it was just like
a revelation for me. And this is why you're awkward is because you just
meet people where they are and as they come to you, you're like prowling
to get these wants and needs met. Does that make sense? Yeah?
It does well. And that's something that like Andy had a guy call in
once who was this way and he was just like totally black pilled and like
it's totally helpless. Um, you know, I'm never gonna meet anybody and
women or it's just too hard. The whole thing's too hard and I'm a
shy person is never gonna work. And Andy was like, the whole reason
you think it's so hard is because you're just putting so many expectations on it.
And he's like, women can tell that, and we can, we
can we can smell desperation like from miles away. And if a dude approaches
you with like desperation because you know that's what he wants, and he's just
like, can I. There's a couple different ways they'll go about it.
Sometimes they try to like mac on you and it's horribly in like unnatural and
awkward and weird, and you're just like no. And then there's the ones
that are like, um ma'am, if I could please um touch your lady
parts sometimes be very happy, you know, Like there's those kind of guys.
But it's like if you were just relaxed and just could talk to people,
that would be fine. But now again, especially in the postcouph world,
it's like we have all these people who only interact with other humans virtually
and um sit in their house or their comb pod and then you've got the
po RN added to the biggest problem. It's a huge problem because the epidemic
like one hundred times more than Coo've ever wanted to be like this has rotted
people's brains like literally your frontal lobe is Swiss cheese. Yeah, because and
they can't even find guys that don't do that, because they like have like
if you're not in recovery of statistics are insane. They can't even find a
control group to study it. Be kind of it's so like all men have.
It was something like ninety five percent of American men have seen it in
the last month and like eighty percent this week. Yeah, it's like everyone
and nobody's say like, this is the world people talk about feminism and no,
um, like I'm not saying anything about you, and your book is
great, but this problem is so much worse. It is than feminism could
ever be. Well, I mean, there was a huge battle between the
sex positive feminists and the not sex positive feminists in the sixties, seventies,
and eighties and still now for this reason because half of them were like,
no, po rn and prostitution and all this stuff is not liberating. You're
going you're just reinforcing the worst aspects of like oppression against women or whatever,
and you're just gonna make it worse. You're you're training men not to see
us as people. Yes, And the other ones were like, well,
we gotta get ours and we need to make money, and why shouldn't I
embrace my sexuality and why shouldn't I shake what my mama gave me? And
that it's liberating and now I'm in control of that, and clearly that didn't
work out for them. I say this. I say this to the people
I debate all the time, because I've debated this subject of like only fans
girls and sex work and stuff multiple times with women who do it and with
women who just advocate for it, and a lot of them really think that
this is a good and liberating thing because all they know is I sit in
front of my computer and simp send me money. What's wrong with that?
And it's like, well, there's a ton of things wrong with it.
We can just do their feet and make it. Yeah, it's crazy.
Well, and the thing about so there's some misconceptions about it. They're very
serious that have led to this, which like again these crazy sociologists and psychologists
and sexologists, which this all started in like forties fifties, they they were
all curves. Okay, if you look back at any of these people that
were the early like sexologists or sociologists studying sexual behavior. Yeah, like all
of them. Kinsey was a good example. Who was the guy that did
the cloudbusting Wilhelm, right, gone, yeah, yes, yes, all
these guys were fruit loops. They were all into like the creepiest, kinkiest,
weirdest stuff that you could come up with back then. And their whole
thing was, Hey, now that we have evolutionary biology, we can kind
of twist the science around to make this all normal and natural. Right,
It's just natural. I'm just horny, it's natural, and I just stick
it in a chicken sandwich, you know what. Don't shame me, don't
kink shame me for being into chicken sandwiches. Right, So then we do
a study that's framed to prove that it's not weird to be into chicken sandwiches,
and they do this with everything. So it's like, we have this
conception. I hear this repeat it all the time where people are like,
you know, it's you're born gay, You're born a certain way, You're
just born with the sexual tastes you're born with. And even though we have
tons of neuroscience proving that's not true. Human sexuality is highly plastic, it's
highly malleable and if you are watching PRN all the time. It's just like
drugs. It works in the brain the same way as drugs. It provides
the stimulus, you get the dopamine and all the chemicals flowing. You need
more and more extreme stuff to get the same response. You need weirder,
creepier, more violent, more extreme stuff to get the same response. And
so we have a whole generation of people that don't see the opposite sex as
people at all. They're just like a means to an end. It's to
get your jollies off. It's do the weird kink together so that we can
push the boundaries and try to get new highs from it. Yeah, there
is no That's where I guess that telos part comes back in, because it's
like, that's not what interaction between the sexes is supposed to be for It's
yeah, it's a horrible perversion of it. Girls always say I don't want
to be objectified, but like, guys don't understand what that means. That
means that I am not a car. I am not like because when they
describe women, they're like who wants to drive a used car? Who want
everyone wants a new house? Like when they talk about what kind of women
they want, and you're like, a woman is not a piece of property,
Like they're not an object. Yeah, but they don't mean like I
said, it used to be you would look at a woman and think about
her more as would this be a good mother for my children? Is she
going to be is she going to represent me? Well? Like if I'm
not around, like if I am busy in going off to the war or
whatever, like old timey stuff you had to travel and do, can she
like hold the fort down and represent my interests and take care of the family.
Like there was so much more responsibility and long term thinking involved in pairing
men and women together. And now we just don't even think about things that
way. It's completely just like this short term gratification transactional madness. So have
you ever looked into what the word helped me means? No in the Bible,
So no, that that's interesting. Yeah, So this word is used
other times in the Bible as God's relationship towards Israel when he was its rescuer.
So it's not just like your little like assistant helper helped me that just
you know, like orbits around you and does all of your chores for you,
it's as like a powerful being that has been put on the earth as
your partner in war, in spiritual warfare, and as like a rescuer in
your time of trouble. So changes the entire attitude about like women's roles in
marriage and life as not a subservient thing, but like as somebody that should
be appreciated because you are rescuing that person from That's actually super cool. Andy
has referred to me like that before. He has said that he thinks of
me as like this, like I'm a bear warrior. Like he pictures me
with like a shield and a sword and the kids behind me, and like
shield made in for Yeah, exactly, Like that's kind of how he thinks
of me. But I would say the same thing about him, like We've
been through horrible things together in life, some of the worst things that people
can go through, and I always remember those times, Like even if I'm
mad at him, like he'd made me mad the other day or something,
and I'm going on a jerk, He's stupid. I don't even I don't
even know why I put up with him, I will think about those times
and be like, Okay, I really might not be here if he hadn't
like literally stepped in and kind of saved me from horrible grief or terrible situation
or you know, times when I was super, super sick and he took
care of me and things like that. That stuff is awesome. It's way
better than just being coomer furry people or whatever it is that people have going
on now. And it's like, yeah, there's a lot more sacrifice involved,
but you get so much out of it and it's awesome. And then
you have a whole family together. This is this is supposed to be the
unit that stabilizes society too, you know, yes, because you don't have
any stability in society now. And I think that's a big part of it.
And this is one of the reasons that I'm always talking about this stuff,
is because I think of all the kids like me who grow up with
like really fractured homes and like tons of instability and you don't know who dad's
girlfriend might be next week, or you don't know if mom's boyfriend's going to
move out and move back in, and all this craziness that goes on where
you know, some kids don't even know who their dad is and things like
this. It's a really tough way to start life, and it sets you
up for like distrust and suspicion and all these things because you don't have a
solid foundation. There's a study I always refer to from twenty twelve where they
there's like a children's psych word that had like one hundred and thirteen kids in
it. An eighty eight percent of the kids who were in there came from
broken homes. Yeah, and it's a known risk factor. It's a known
risk factor for mental and physical health problems to be breaking up families. You
are one hundred percent at a disadvantage if you come from a divorced family.
There's so getting back to red pills. I watched this video from the Mano
Sphere. I just kind of like random, you know, put it popped
in red pill into YouTube and see what comes up. Right, Oh no,
that's terrifying. Twenty one convention in Orlando, Florida, twenty eighteen.
Richard Cooper. I guess he's one of the high ups in this red Pill.
Have you heard of this guy? He's like, oh no, but
there's so many now that I haven't heard of. So just to get like
feel where these people are coming from and it's really egregious, it's really really
bad. So this video was titled nineteen things your dad should have told you
that he never did. Oh no, And I can already tell this is
going to be the title Gore Alone. Like it's just that's a terrible that's
not even a proper sentence anyway, right, yeah, Okay, So I
watched forty one out of fifty six minutes of this crap. And so the
first point that he makes is avoid unhappy and unlucky people. Their problems aren't
your problems. This includes the broke, unhealthy, and obese. So right
here, this guy's out of the gate, just a douche, Yeah,
right, Like, how do you avoid unhappy, unlucky people and their problems
aren't your problems? You don't give alms, you don't give charity, you
don't care if they're broke, unhealthy, obie. I just feel like you
don't care about people, of course not. It sounds like this is already
out of the gate going to be a guide to self enrichment. And I'm
not saying that you should like be spending lots of time with low life people
in drug down, but you can't just say, oh, I don't like
your vibes, good vibes only I hate that? Yeah, I hate that
too. And what even is an unlucky like I'm an unlucky person? Maybe
I don't know. Am I unlucky? I don't like? And what is
broke? I mean unhealthy and obese people? So this is all the people
that he is like is not worthy of his attention. Boy, I hope
this guy is a really high quality individual. It sounds very eyes he's a
high value man. He's a king, right, Okay, one of those
he's one of these kings. Oh God, all the kings and the queens
can all get out like I'm a I'm a queen and that I'm a king.
People, It's so cringe. Okay, So No Number two, No
LTR. I had to like think about this for a minute. Wasn't LT
a long term relationship? Because I have these codes now that they speak to
each other. I'm such a nerd that I immediately thought like Lord of the
Rings, nor of the Rings. That's a deal breaker for me already.
So no LTR with women who have a big social media presence, Oh I've
heard this one. I get this all the time. Uh, you shouldn't
even be on the line online because if you were a real traditional woman,
you wouldn't even be online. What even is that? Like what if she's
a like famous baker, is she not allowed to have a presence if she
wanted to? If I have a book and I talk about motherhood and Christianity,
I know, so you want, like, really trad boys, you
want me to log off? I doubt you're going to only fans an Instagram
and telling all the hot booby girls to get off the internet. I'm pretty
sure you're not right, but me I should log off? Well your attention
seeking? Well, yeah, I guess if I want you to read my
book, I guess that's attention seeking. But I mean I can understand maybe
if she's yeah, a sex worker, or yeah, an Instagram model,
or if she's on Twitch in a hot tub with just her boobs floating,
yeah maybe yeah, yeah, that's probably not the best long term relationship material.
I would agree, But I mean, but if she has talents and
like something to offer, just let her be what she wants. Yeah,
Or what if she's an artist, or what if she does crafting or like,
there's a million things you can do online that have nothing to do with
like a toxic personality, right, whatever. So then he talks about spinning
plates, which I had to like look at other things, like what is
spinning plates? So apparently it refers to dating, and I assume sleeping with
multiple people at once. So like spinning plates, you know, like a
and so you have LTRs, You have your plates that you spin, you
know, you like go back and forth and keep them spinning, and then
you have wife material. So there's already these compartmentalized different kinds of women that
you treat differently, right, Okay, but I just thought the spinning plates
thing was so gross. Was he saying, like you should there's women you're
supposed to key like your booty call women. Is that Yeah, that's his
stable or whatever. That's what your mayors and your stable that you keep for
like break the glass in case of loneliness or whatever, And so you keep
all these place spinning. He says, Guys point the camera at the world.
Girls point the camera at themselves. Isn't he pointing the camera at himself?
Right? I was, like, says the guy in the spotlight in
front of thousands of people at a convention with the microphone in his hand.
So hypocrite, right, Yeah, And I don't really think that's true because
trending on TikTok is like women are complaining that guys do not want to take
photos of them. They aren't any of the family photos because men act like
babies if they try to go get a photo shoot, and they're not like,
um, giving enough to want to take photos of mom with the kids.
So women are like, I've gone ten twenty years and all of my
family photos are just my husband and my kids because I'm the one behind the
camera. Yeah, that's me, but it's usually just because I'm the person
that wants the pictures and like nobody else is thinking about it. So this
guy is like men just like are so interesting that they take pictures of interesting
things in the world, and girls are so vapid that all they have a
theory about this man, I have a theory maybe because you're looking for booty
call spinning plates, you're mainly coming across girls who are have their phone and
they're doing duck lips and pushing their boobs up. Do you ever think of
that? That's what I was saying about Andrew Tate I'm like, your opinion
about women is derived from all of these women that work for your sex can
girls, so of course you have a low opinion. I'm like, who,
all the women I know are amazing talented, beautiful, smart, confident,
like competent, just like tens. Okay, I don't really even know
any stupid thoughty women. Maybe I know, I know of a bunch of
them, but like they don't want to be friends with me, and I
don't want to be friends with them. It's like a different circle. But
I definitely do know of them, and like I do have a couple in
my extended family who are like that way, and you know, of course
they think I'm like this holier than now, like boring, weird conservative person.
It's not like I don't know that they exist, but yeah, Like
I mean, I think of people like you, or like Courtney Turner,
or my best friend that I've had my whole life, who is like I
look up to her in so many ways because she's so incredibly like competent,
but she's a really great mom and she's like a super solid person. She
teaches Sunday school at her church, and she's just like one of those women
that you look at her, You're like, yes, this is this person
is like a great model for what like awesome women are Like yeah, well
I don't think I think that's like a big problem too. We just don't
have that. It's like, you don't. This is what I'm always saying
when I'm like, we need to venerate those kind of women. We need
to hold those kind of women up and go look at her, isn't she
amazing? Not Kim Kardashian and not like Brady, you know, Taylor Swift
or like all of these the people we hold up on a pedestal, or
like these girls that are selling their bathwater online to simps and stuff. It's
like, of course, those girls are going to be a totally different type
of person than the millions of like soccer moms and church ladies and nice women
who are out there. But even the not nice women, I still have
a soft spot for them because they were damaged along the road, like somebody
failed them. And here's another point he had. He says, avoid women
with daddy issues played him, don't date them, put him in the f
zone. Okay, And I'm just I'm getting angry because I'm like, so
her dad failed her, so you're just so that makes her the type of
woman that's just trash to be used as trash. Yeah, Like Andy and
his other like debater guys and Shapiro they take on dudes, the pickup artist
guys. They argue with them about this all the time because they're both Andy
and he goes by Zen Shapiro. That's not his real name, it's just
like funny online name, but both of them like, he's he just got
married, he's expecting his first child. You know, Andy, when he
was really young was kind of a player and he totally like reformed from that.
So he's really good at arguing why it's bad and why you shouldn't do
it and why that's a horrible thing to do to women. And these guys
always say, well, she's a free, independent woman and this is what
she wants to do, so why shouldn't I take advantage of it. And
it's like, because they're doing that because they're getting these signals from society and
from you that this makes them worth something. Yes, so if you didn't
do if you didn't facilitate that, they wouldn't do it. But also it's
kind of both. It's like how who do you get to fix the thing?
And people are surprised because I'm so like against feminism and everything, but
I'm like, it has to be the men. The men are supposed to
lead. The men are supposed to if we're going to have a patriarchy in
the biblical sense, right, in the sense of how God created us,
where men are providers and protectors, they have to be providers and protectors.
You can't have a patriarchy without patriarchs. Are you acting like a patriarch when
you're playing women and screwing around and sleeping with all these different girls at the
same time, and treating certain ones like hose and treating other ones. It's
like, that's not what you're supposed to do. There would be. You're
supposed to be the leader. It's on you. Like, ultimately, the
buck does stop with the men. There would be no only fans if there
was no money. Yeah, well, and like men will complain, and
I get complaints from both, right, the men will complain that there's no
good women, and the women will complain that there's no good men. And
it's like the women and I guarantee this, and men never believe me.
And I always say, if you guys rewarded good female behavior and all the
women would start acting differently tomorrow, they would, because that's at the heart
of why women do this stuff. They do want like approval, attention,
validation. They want to feel like they matter. Yeah, and like it's
easy to just be like, oh, they're all just really selfish narcissist.
It's like, no, they're not. That's not how human beings work.
And it's like if you if girls up with the idea that good wives are
valued, they would act more like that. But the whole culture around them
and all the men in their life act like twerking and walking around in a
thong with your booty hanging out is what people want from you, So that's
what they do. So I always tell men, I'm like, you're kind
of a blame because you guys were super excited to get all the free sex
without any of the attachment. Right when the sexual revolution happened. The men
were like, Wooo, we just get to have all the sex and none
of the like supporting a family and like working hard all the time to like
support a wife and be there for kids. They thought it was great,
And I'm like, how's that deal working out for you? Now, how
do you feel about it? Yeah? You know, and I know that
the red pill manisphere crowd, they just decided to go with it. They're
like, we'll just go with this. We'll just take it all the way.
We'll just be like really disgusting and take this all the way. But
for all the guys who are out there complaining, it's like, like you
said, it's only the men who can kind of police each other. We
can't force y'all to do anything that's not how power dynam when we say it.
It's nagging or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, So then he said something
that just put the whole thing in perspective when he talked about some women are
wife material and they're damaged, and these women are for the f zone and
plating. He says men are endurance predators. So there's his worldview right there.
Men aren't for protecting, loving, cherishing, providing. They're just pro
or consuming things and you want to avoid all of the risks of what you're
consuming without any of the responsibilities. So this guy, like, this guy
probably has some serious issues too. I would bet you anything. He was
raised by like a single mom that had boy friends come in and go and
all the time. It didn't know his dad very well, and he's just
decided, like, women hurt me. Women are just gonna hurt me,
So this is what I'm gonna do. He literally said, no single moms.
And this is so weird to me that they sht on single moms so
much, And it hurts my heart because like most of the single moms did
not choose that. That's a tough one because so many women initiate divorce.
But think of it this way. The problem now is that people didn't even
bother to get married anymore. Yeah, everybody's just making babies with everybody.
And it's like, so she she had two choices to stay in this relationship
or to get out of it, and like to do the most frightening thing
in the whole world, to be a single parent was easier than staying with
this person. Well, I think there's different types of single moms because there
are so like, there's plenty of women who were like me where they really
I was not a single mom by choice. The guy took off. I
would have liked done anything to make it work, and I had no say
so in the matter, And that really sucks. Second, relationship I was
in right after that. Because I was so vulnerable, I was like really
good prey and I'm from like a small town. I was really naive,
and I was raised by somebody who kind of taught me that my worth was
in like taking care of broken people. So that just made me a really
good target. And I got totally like taken advantage of by this connartist guy.
And that was horrible situation. I know those things happened. They happened
to me. But then there's also women like my mother who just they decide
I'm bored, don't like being a housewife, and I want this younger guy
who's sexy, and so I'm going to break up the family. There's a
lot of that too, So I think it's totally situational with the single mom
thing. There are some women who really do look at the situation and go,
well, why shouldn't I divorce this guy and he'll have to pay me
child support, and like, you know, I just he doesn't pay enough
attention to me, or they have kind of flippant reasons, and then they
have an affair and they're just like, well, I can move in with
this guy and get money from the other guy, there are women who do
that too, But then there are like single moms who never wanted that,
and we're not to blame and we're put in a horrible situation. So I
think it just this contextual I don't even I know that's true, And I'm
not saying I just don't know any women like that. I just don't.
I never met. Unfortunately, I know a couple. Okay, so sucks.
Experience does not line up with his idea of what single moms are,
right, But it's like, but let's just let's even say that it was
a terrible single mom, Like, let's say she's just a heartless, awful
woman who did it for all, like left the husband who was a great
dad for no reason. Yeah, well, there's still kids in that picture,
right, So you still shouldn't look at single moms and be like,
oh, they can just be abused and thrown in the garbage. Yeah,
there's still even if the woman was terrible, theoretically, they're still kids involved
in that situation, so you still should go nowhere near her unless you have
really honorable intentions, period, Like, there's still no excuse for that.
You know, it's only the damaged women who will put up with such treatment
sometimes like what this guy's talking about, yeah, and being plated being Yeah,
that's it's the people who are already abused that are like, oh,
I guess this is how people are, and I guess this is what I
know what I can expect from, you know, life. So it's sad,
do you need to go? No, my dog is just making a
noise. But I do know that that's true. Like, there's a ton
of statistics showing that single mom households, like the kids that grow up with
single moms have much higher rates of abuse. And it's generally because whenever you
add another parent to the situation that's not the biological parent, it just statistically
ends in a lot more abuse and a lot worse abuse. So yeah,
on average generally. Now, of course there's fabulous men like my husband who
come in and save the day, but there's also men who see a single,
vulnerable woman with little kids and they are the predator type and it's like,
oh, there's no dad at home to protect these people. Yeah,
this is an easy prey for me. And that happens too. Yeah,
but I mean a man that will marry a single mom is blessed on thinking
of Saint Joseph. Yeah, Mary's husband. Yeah, I mean that's the
archetype for like adopting a family and being a responsible man and loving. Yeah,
that's not yours. I think that's super admirable, honestly for a guy
to take on somebody else's children do. And these horrible red pill types on
the internet, they'll try to say that to Andrew like it's an own.
They'll be like, oh, your wife was washed up, used goods when
you found her and you're raising another man's kids. Oh, you're own.
And he's he just he knows how stupid they are, so he doesn't let
it get to them. But it's funny. And this is these people,
by the way, everybody are like the trad Cath right right, those right
wing trad Cath Graper type of people who say this to him instead of being
like, Wow, you're a really honorable dude to do that. So,
while we're on the topic of trad and wife material, a lot of the
guys when they talk about wife material and you ask them what does that mean,
they'll be like, h, cook and clean and be submissive. Yeah,
and a virgin she has to be a virgin, and yeah, she
has to just do whatever I say. And well, there's this annoying girl
on TikTok and I'm not going to say her name because I don't want to
be mean two girls, but she's super smug and if there's any personality type
that I cannot abide, it's snobs and smug people. Okay, So she
gets on TikTok and she's like, oh, you have to do it's be
submissive. And I like got married and got whatever I wanted just because I'm
feminine. And then I'm submissive and I'm like, but that sounds more like
manipulation. Yes, that doesn't sound like what. That's what. The word
submissive is such a difficult word because the biblical meaning of it is more like
self sacrificing or willing to serve your family. It's not like I'm super quiet
and don't have an opinion and never say anything, which is like, again,
I get a ton of criticism for that because people are like, you're
not Chad because you're really outspoken and opinionated. And like the last debate Andy
and I did as a team, people were like she was dominating him and
wouldn't let him talk and and he's just like, do they think that I
want to spend my whole life with a person that just never talks and like,
is just a rope like a Stepford wife robot or something. He's like,
and he's a very masculine guy. He's not like a soft, soy
liberal type of guy at all. But he's just like, well, I
want my wife to have a brain and think, like I have to trust
her. Like when we moved into our new house, he didn't even see
it first. He was like, like, you can just go and like
check it out and if you think it's good and it's gonna meet all our
needs and then I'll like it. I totally trust your judgment. He like
he thinks of it that way, like I need to be able to trust
your judgment. You. You're competent, you can be trusted. You can
handle an emergency. Like he's like, I don't want some woman at home
with my kids who's like, oh, dear, I don't know what to
do about anything ever and oh, you know, like helpless or something leaning
okay, Like I just faint anytime anything happens. And Andy has to do
everything that would not work when these guys say, be submissive. It's totally
giving, like domb sub weird BDSM stuff. Yeah, fetish vibes fetish exactly,
And like I understand the concept of a vehicle needs one driver. Yeah,
we're a family and we're doing this thing. You are. You have
the wheel in the gas, pedal and the brakes, not me, because
if two people are going to try and drive it and be like, I'll
working all around. Yeah, okay, so I understand that, you know,
the buck stops with the man he's responsible for yes, blah blah blah.
But like, just submissiveness is not necessarily a virtue because you can submit
to evil, yes, exactly at least. Yeah, that's why I said
it's such a tricky word. I almost I don't like the word in the
modern context, but because it's in the Bible. Submit to your husband,
submit to your But it does say submit to your wife. Yes, yeah,
it does say that. But he says the man is the head of
the house. But you submit to each other, and she understands, and
we submit to God. Both of us submit to God. And if the
husband is submitting to God, he should not even by default, be allowed
to be like abusive you couldn't be. I know there's horrible people out there
who would justify that and say that that's okay. But we know that we
know better than that and that that's not the case. Well, here's like
an idea that could be construed as like a little bit feminist. But I'm
going to run it by you because I'm not quite sure if all women should
be submitting to all men, Like, definitely not know what I mean.
Like a wife can submit in her own house to her husband, who's a
godly person that she put her trust in, right, But I don't think
that it's healthy in society for just women to be like automatically submissive to every
man such as an Islam or another. No, I don't think so either.
Well, and there's a lot of reasons for that and the like people
who like my stuff might be surprised to hear me say that, But I
mean, think about it. If Andy's not home, say he was like
on a business trip and the neighbor man came over and told me to get
on my knees, should I submit? Yeah? Probably not. That's probably
not a good idea, yea. And no, it's like like I said,
if you want a society that's more patriarchal. You've got to have patriarchs.
We don't have that right now. We don't have like this large population
where the normative way to be a man is to be like a responsible man
of good character, you know, patriarch, like somebody who's trustworthy and loyal
and honest and like good men. Right now, we have a really really
dysfunctional society where we have feminized men, we have homosexual men, we have
trans people. We've got like we don't even know what a man is.
We've got toxic masculinity, and then we've got like feminism. We've got all
kinds of stuff that doesn't make it that simple. We can't just have like
have a patriarchy and every all the women submit, And like you said,
it's not that was never intended to be all men everywhere at all times.
It was not like I said, you wouldn't want to submit to a man
who's trying to rob you or our apeu or abuse you in some way or
take advantage of you. Like, there are times as a woman where you're
obligated not to submit if it's a bad judgment call. Yeah, and again
that's when women are supposed to be real people. We're real human beings who
are supposed to have our own judgment and our own discernment and our own character.
People just it's like people. People do this with everything now, where
they want to take a word and just apply it as this broad category and
make it an every time always. And that's like the word meaning fallacy that
Jay's always talking about, where it's like, okay, but that doesn't mean
that I submit to the neighbor if he wants to sleep with me, Obviously,
it doesn't mean that if the neighbor comes over and holds a gun to
my head and says, give me all your money, that I'm just supposed
I mean, maybe to save your life, you would submit or something.
But there's tons of situations or like say my dad demands that I leave my
husband for some reason. I shouldn't submit to that. That would not that
would not make sense, that would be ridiculous. So you can't think of
it that way. You have to think of it in the proper context.
And I heard, I heard one of these trag guys, these kings,
whatever you want to call them, Just like women shouldn't even have control over
their own finances, and it should be their brothers and dad that like dole
out whatever and you know, take care of them. And I'm just like,
do you even live in this planet? Like I'm from the real world.
Well, and the thing about that again, do they really want that?
I don't think they do, because imagine, imagine if tomorrow that guy
was responsible for the finances of every woman in his life. Do you think
he'd really want to know? That's what I was. Just being a dick.
Sometimes these people are just being a dick. Literally, like, tell
me one woman, who you've ever been catered to, I mean, cared
for, responsible for it? Not I know for a fact, because I
know your background and where you came from. And the stuff that you say
is assinine because you can never live up to that. If I let my
male members of my family run my life, I'd holmeless. Yeah, it's
just it's ridiculous, Okay. So and then oh, man, I wish
I could remember the story about an emperor and empress and Orthodox emperor and empress,
and I wish I could remember their names. But it was like one
of them wanted to leave the church or do something that would apostatize to himself
and the wife wrote him like this scathing letter and it was like, if
you do this, like we're no longer married, you're not a husband of
like can't you know? And it was really biting in the way that she
was talking him, but she was right, you can't leave the church.
Yeah right, yeah, I mean virtue comes into this guy's virtue and morality
are equally applied to both sexes. To even me, as somebody who calls
herself a patriarchist, I would never say like, oh, women aren't responsible
for their own moral choices. Women aren't responsible for standing up for what's right
and what's true. If a man says it's like again, when we're talking
about this stuff, it's not We're not trying to establish a weird trad fetish
where it's like this dominance some bad man cosplay weird. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. And I think that's another thing is like the pop culture stuff gives
people this. I've had people all week on Twitter telling me insane things about
history that I'm like, that's not true. Yes, Like you know,
they'll be like women weren't even women weren't even allowed to brush their teeth until
nineteen twenty, or like crazy things that people believe about women that they couldn't.
Like, you'll hear a lot of stuff where like, well, women
couldn't have property, and it's like in some places at some times, but
there were lots of places and lots of times where they could inherit property and
owned businesses and have credit lines and all this sort of stuff. So it's
never this like simple low IQ nonsense that people want to shove it into.
That's why I had to take all the time to like research and source things
and lay it out to try to like correct the record, because people believe
such crazy things about the history of like the genders and women in particular,
and this idea that we are. That's the other thing. People who like
women weren't educated. I'm like in some ways, but in a lot of
ways, they were extremely educated. Women two hundred years ago knew way more
about things that women nowadays have no idea about. I was like, I
was thinking about this traditional lifestyle for a woman, and like you said,
you know, she would get a high education, if she was from a
good family, she'd no multiple languages, she'd know the arts, she'd know
painting drawings, she would know like music, she'd had multiple talents, right,
yeah, not your scholary maid baby machine. Right. And well that's
what I always say when when women tell me this, Like feminists will be
like, you wouldn't even have the right to make a book if it weren't
for you know, a glorious dynum or something. And I'm like, then,
how come some of the most famous medieval writers were women who worked and
had paying jobs for like the highest courts in France and Italy. How come
in the seventeen hundreds, women like Mary Wolstoncraft could make a living and support
themselves being writers and traveled all over Europe and all this. It's like,
that's all nonsense, these ideas that they have. And it's like, yes,
there were different situations for different classes in different times, in different contexts,
but to just say women have been subjugated forever is bullshit. And to
say women always should be subjugated forevermore in every way is also bullshit. It's
just how do you like? This? Is my other thing. It's like,
okay, do you want the dumb, uneducated, brainless, can't stand
up for themselves, don't have a spine, never had their own opinion in
their life. People to be the ones making all the babies. Is that
what you want? Or do you want like capable, competent, virtuous,
godly women doing that stuff? And yes, when I find a great man
like my husband, where I go to church and there are my elders and
my priests, or like I do have a good father, Yes, in
the vast majority of situations, I will defer to them if like there's some
kind of conflict because I do have the trust and because they have proven that
they're responsible and all these things. It's it's a whole package that comes together.
You can't just say submit in all situations to anybody, you know with
male chromosomes. That's silly, you know, it's so funny. Um is
like the Orthodox Church is the keeper of tradition, yes, right, and
they are not even as weird as these trad guys. Yeah, it's like
the creative Catholic right wing trad people online that are the most insane in my
experience. So sometimes some of the Southern Baptists, really strict people can be
like that too. So in a lot of ways, Um, in actuality,
the church invented marriage, yeah right, yeah, And addition, and
we're the keepers of this and the standards are not even as weird as the
the trad cosplay guys. He's like my first priest. His wife had a
job, she was a doctor or something like a prestigious and all the women
had other interests. They had hobbies, they had like lives out, they
had children, and yeah, a husband, but they also had what they
were good at doing. So yeah. And I tell people all the time
too, because they'll be like, because you're a mom and you're writing a
book, got you right? And I'm like, okay, well, when
they were all infants, I wasn't writing a book. Now that the youngest
one is ten and half of them are moved out and I'm much older,
Yes, I'm in a different phase of my life where I do get to
do a lot of other things. Now. I think when you're a mother
of a bunch of young kids, to try to have a full time career
outside the home doesn't work very well. It's detrimental to the children. Kids
need a full time mom. It's not a nights and weekends gig. It
doesn't mean you can't have things you do, or have things you're good at,
or even be developing those skills and talents for down the road when your
kids are grown up and moved out. That's what I did. There's nothing
wrong with that. I think you do women this service when you say they're
only good as mothers or wives, because what happens when the kids are grown
and they don't need anymore that then your life has no like pizzas or meaning
or and you get really sad and depressed and like what is my purpose?
I'd just like sit here and wait from them to call. Well, that's
whether than to have brand babies or whatever. Yeah. The other thing that's
so great about Orthodoxy is like it's very very much a community, So like
it was great when we had more women who were able to take care of
elderly and sick people, volunteer for church stuff, would all the events together.
I mean I've been to a number of Orthodox events this year that would
not have happened if the women of the church weren't literally organizing and doing all
the work to make all that stuff happen. And they do a great job
at it. It's it's one thing to like. This girl I was debating
was like, I'll see you just sit around your house and let your husband
pay for stuff and just be lazy. And I was like, you're debating
me right now, does it seem like I do that? Does it seem
like I'm that way? And she was like, well no, but that's
my point. Hold on, my dog's trying to get out. Okay,
So now that we're talking about traditions and standards, let's talk about some standards
that women and men have. This one girl thinking of blew up on TikTok
because she was like, I have high standards and if you're gonna ask me
out, you're gonna take me to a restaurant where we're gonna sit down and
have a nice meal. I'm not going to go on a walk with you.
I'm not a dog. I don't want to have coffee. I can
make my own coffee. You know, she's beautiful. She could have the
standards that she wants. And everyone was like all over her for having a
standard of just like I would like to have a dinner date instead of you
know, a drink or coffee, and they're just be rating her. And
I'm like, she's allowed to have standards, yeah right that I don't think
that's way too much to ask of a potential partner. Is liked to have
a nice dinner, and she just got a lot of flat for them.
I feel bad. I'm like, let her, you know, just because
you don't live up to those standards. That's her business, right, Yea.
Not every woman has to lower their standards and put the bar in hell
so that you can have a girlfriend, you know, and live in your
mom's basement and eat your chicken tendees and play World of Warcraft. Yeah,
yeah, I agree with that. I mean, I don't think women have
two high standards. I think their standards are like messed up. I think
that they give We could talk about gold diggers in a second. I think
when that's the case, it's so comically obvious that if you can't see that,
then you're not looking very hard. Yeah, you know, like it's
very Anna Unicole Smith, like so in your face that this woman only wants
your money, and that's just not the case most of the time. And
I think guys are getting some weird standards as well, because this guy went
viral on his podcast and he said, if my wife has kids and gets
bat I'm gonna tell her once and if she doesn't lose weight, I'm leaving
her. Well, I've had five kids and I'm I'm losing weight right now,
and it's just life is not that simple, buddy, like, oh
well, but this is again, it's like people don't People say this insane
stuff and they have no idea what it's like raising a family, especially nowadays.
But it's always been hard. It's always been hard when you have a
bunch of kids. And it's like sometimes your spouse gets sick, sometimes they
go through something really difficult and they gain So like I gained a bunch of
weight when my son passed away, and I don't hate myself for it at
all, because it's like, if all I did was eat more ice cream
and pasta and that's as bad as it got, I'm a freaking hero because
I didn't crawl into a whiskey bottle, I didn't cope with pills. I
didn't run away like, I didn't end up in a padded room or any
of that stuff. And it's like, if I've got thirty pounds to lose,
oh well, and Andrew could care less because he's like he just sees
that as like this amazing thing that I was able to survive that and stay
in the family and hold everything together with him, for the kids and stuff.
So it's like, life is real, dude. It's not gonna be
some sitcom where your wife is just gonna look hot forever and you're gonna be
perfect and she's gonna be perfect and you can predict the future. It's not
like that. Well, so I'm thinking, okay, dude, that's your
standard. But what is the criteria for her to be able to leave you?
Yeah? If she gets fat? What if you get bald? Yeah?
What if you lose your job? What if you are in a horrible
accident and your leg is crushing you can't walk anymore? Like, is she
now allowed to leave you by your own standards? Because you know so it's
so immature, and these people get so much traction. It blows my mind
that how many people are agreeing with this guy, like your wife getting fat
is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. Now, I think
it's not really about like the getting fat. It's more like, so,
let's say you had a wife who this is something that happens a lot where
she just stops sleeping with you. You get married, and she just stops
doing that, and she's just decides she's gonna sit on the couch and eat
cheetos and be lazy and whatever that might happen. Like, the problem with
that is not necessarily the weight. It's the fact that she doesn't care about
the husband. Like she's just checked out, right, She's basically checked out
of the marriage. She's not a good example for the kids. She's not
contributing anything at all to the household or the relationship. Things like that I
can totally see. But it's like, Okay, having kids, a lot
of us gain weight. And have you ever tried like dieting and going to
the gym when you've got like a baby stuck to your boob and toddlers running
around and like, well, okay, I think if she had the potential
to turn into a couch creature, he that's something he could have seen when
they were dating, if he was looking hard enough, or it would just
be like it wouldn't even be like, oh, I'm divorcing you because you're
fat. It would be like, what's going on with you? Are you
depressed? Or you like, well, why are you just checked out of
life right now? I think a lot of women lose themselves and their looks
because they're putting themselves last, and they're taking care of everybody but themselves.
They don't have time because looking hot or whatever your standard is takes a lot
of time. You have to exercise, you have to be disciplined, and
you're eating, you have to have a skincare of routine, you have to
like all know, all this nutrition. It is like a part time job
to look a certain way, right, a high maintenance way, right.
And that's why, again, the root of all this stuff is, like
what's marriage for. It's not for just like your pleasure, okay, And
we have the society that is just so oriented towards pleasure seeking, and like
that's what utilitarianism is, this utilitarian morality that's so popular now with like this
younger generation. They're all super into it. They're all a bunch of utilitarian
vegans or whatever, and they really are like whatever does the least harm and
brings the most pleasure. And it's like, no, that's never going to
work. That's and you can tell that these people have never liked had to
go out and live life because if you had to try to raise a family
together, you could never do things based around least harm, most pleasure.
Imagine if I oriented my day around what brought me the most pleasure. No,
I oriented over what brings the most meaning and the most value. And
it is selvific, like you said, But we we don't live in a
society. We live in a society that laughs at us for being Orthodox Christians
and thinks it's weird and stupid and stuff like that. So there it is
like pleasure seeking. So it's like, well, if I'm going to get
married, it's so that I can get tax breaks and have regular sex and
you know, somebody to make me food or for the woman. It might
be like because I want someone to pay all my bills and I don't like
working or whatever. So these like empty people are gonna say this insane stuff,
and apparently there's a lot of empty people watching them who agree with it.
It's crazy. So, okay, gold diggers, this is a big
thing with guys. They do not want to be financially taken advantage of,
right. But it's like, like I said, if you have a woman
who's a gold digger, you can pretty much spot her very easily. But
guys who do not have a lot of money and still try to date are
miserable. They're miserable like Oscar the Grouch because they're broke, they feel they're
A man has to be self actualized in his purpose. He has to feel
successful, he has to feel confident. He has to do these things that
are hard to build up his muscle. And girls have a different way of
existing. But a guy who and it's only like broke guys who worry about
gold diggers for some reason. Like the guys with money know that it costs
money to do things, but guys who are broke and they're unhappy with themselves
for one. Yeah, and so they're going to treat the women badly because
they're just so miserable in themselves. Means those guys don't even often like get
past the first date because like the self loathing, bitter, complaining, whiny
guys, like I said, we see them like a mile away and it's
just like okay, it's just like how we need men to be competent and
men need to be respected. Like this is like probably my top relationship tip
is like women need to be heard and empathized with and all of that stuff,
but men like they really do need respect, Like they need to feel
like we trust that they are competent and we respect them and like they're capable,
Like I know for sure with like the men in my life, it's
like that if they feel like you think they're incompetent, it's like a huge
crushing blow to their self esteem. And it makes sense to me because we
do expect men to build and maintain the modern world, right, but no
one's teaching them how to act with integrity in a way. That's the thing
is they just think that they deserve it. Yeah, they're like, well
but I'm a man, and it's like but are you though, so like,
yeah, there's standard. There should be standards for both sexes, Like
women should be expected to behave a certain way and have certain virtues and be
moral, and men should be expected to be moral and have certain virtues and
behave a certain way. Both should have standards. And it's like you're always
going to have people that fall way short of the standard and either don't get
to reproduce, or if they do, it's kind of a shi t show,
Like you said, yeah, and there's always going to be those people.
But for us normal average folks, it's like men should be looking for
someone who's going to be a good, trustworthy, loyal wife and or mother
who you know, little things like she doesn't embarrass me in public, she
doesn't talk down to me in front of people, she doesn't cheat with the
neighbor. She's not sitting in the hot tub with her boobies floating for money
on Twitch, like basic stuff like that. And then of course, like
nobody should be abusing, nobody should be narcissistic. And then for the men
it should be like, well, yeah, if you want a wife and
a family, you are going to have to provide, at least to some
degree. You can't just like be a freeloader, CouchSurfing loser and expect that
women are going to flock to you wanting to have your babies. That doesn't
even make any sense, Like why why would anyone do that to themselves?
So, I don't know where people get these weird expectations other than that there's
just so much dysfunction out there and so many people are raised with it that
people don't I don't think people even understand what the hell's going on with any
of this stuff. Oh they don't, lot of them, they don't.
That's why we're here trying to work it out. So let's move on to
cheating, because this is some thing. It's so bad, y'all. It's
so bad. It's so bad, and I don't get it. I don't
get it either. I don't get it, and someone needs to help me
understand because I just I brought this so cheating um Adam Levine and Supermodel do
you remember that story? Yeah, So apparently nobody's safe to get cheated on.
No Gwence the funnies X has been cheated on her with some nanny dude.
There's a curse that they call like the Oscar curse, Like every time
a married lady wins the Oscar, her husband's cheating on her, like as
she's receiving the statue like on stage. That's insane. And then Florida lineman,
remember the hurricane that just happened in Florida. Yeah, so apparently all
the there's this thing like called bucket bunnies. So when linemen go across the
country for an emergency, they all cheat on their wives because they're traveling,
and the ladies that chase the linemen up in the buckets are called bucket bunnies,
kind of like the rodeo dudes have buckle bunnies. Yes, and the
truckers have lot lizards. So there's a thing that's weird because I do not
understand the psychology of the cheater, and I do not understand the psychology of
the person that is the spare person that they're cheating with, because I don't
either it good as a disloyal person. So I was watching like these therapists
and stock talk about cheaters because I used to like not have a soft spot,
but like have like a more Okay, maybe their partner wasn't fulfilling their
needs and they just had to cheat or whatever. But now that I'm older,
I'm like, no, that's not how adults solve problems. That's not
how you get your needs met. Yeah, lying and cheat, I just
couldn't do it, Like I've I've always said this, eat myself up if
I lied and cheated, Like I just couldn't. I couldn't. Yeah,
how do people just like literally be like I'll get up and brush my teeth
and then I'll have some breakfast and then I'll go, I'm screw my person
that I'm cheating on my wife with in my car before I go to work.
Like, how do people just plan their day like that because so many
of them do. It starts with soft cheating and micro cheating and not having
strong boundaries like having work wives or work husbands. Have you heard of that?
Yes? I have. Okay, so people that you go to in
lieu of your spouse for emotional support and having their needs met. And like
this guy was talking about where the most cheating happens, and it's at work.
Yeah, so okay, let me finish them. Has my husband has
a fun saying for that? Yeah, Doggie is talking. Sorry, he
says, a shoulder to cry on becomes a you know what to ride on.
Yes, that's so true. And like so he's like the most of
the cheating happens at work because you see your spouse way less than you see
the people at work, and they see you like doing cool things. They
see you overcoming obstacles and victories, and you're dressed nice and you're giving your
best right yeah all, and you just like drop it all on the floor
and like expect to be catered to or whatever. And so he said the
second place where people cheat is at church. So it's basically wherever you would
come in contact with people the most is the pool of cheaters. And it's
just like a human thing, like the more opportunities that you have, the
more likely it is that you are going to cheat. And so he was
making the case, well, like husbands and wives need to as best they
can work together and eliminate just extra contact with people that's not necessary. Yeah,
it's like the Mike Pence rule. Do you remember the Mike Pence rule.
Okay, Mike Pence said when he was running with Trump that he had
a rule that he never was alone with any other women besides his wife.
He didn't go to dinners with a woman for business. He didn't like go
to you know, business things or meetings or anything. He was never just
alone with anyone else besides his wife. And the left like absolutely went insane.
All the feminists went insane. It was like he's insane, he's crazy.
Oh, you can't be around other people without cheating. What's wrong with
the creepy perbet Andy does that? He's like, I don't. He used
to work in a factory where there was all these other women who were like
assembly line workers and he was like a maintenance engineer guy, and they'd always
want to like sit with him and have lunch and he'd be like, no,
sorry, I don't I'm gonna sit over here. You know. I'd
be like why, what's wrong with you? And he was just like,
look, if i continually put myself in positions where I'm exposed to, like,
you know, women who might have a motivation to try to like slowly
like you said, soft cheating, like slowly sucked me in. Or he's
like, I just don't want to even be in that situation. Yeah,
it's not because he likes like, oh no, I'm just resisting the urge
to cheat every minute of my life. It was just like, why would
I do that to my Why would I put myself in a position where I'm
going to be bombarded with stuff like that. It's just unnecessary and why would
I do it? It begs the question what is cheating? Is it the
act of intercourse or does it begin before that? And I see it kind
of like a pregnancy in a way. I don't this is that a weird
way to put it, But it's like, you know, it's a zygote
and then it's a fetus and then it's born like you started it way back
then, and it grew for nine months and then you had this set like
you were cheating back then. Yeah. Right, yeah, and like we
were talking about p r N is like the worst thing that ever happened to
human race. Yeah, social media is destroying monogamy because you feel like you
can just like order up another one. Yeah, you feel like there's endless
options, yes, which is that's not in reality. It's like a fake
thing. So this person was talking about cheaters and they kind of like put
it like this, They're like, this is the cheating person and their motivations.
It's not because this person is a failure at all. It's not because
they're not a supermodel. We all know that from Adam Levine, we all
know that from Chasell and whatever is happening. It's not because they're not attractive
enough, not because they're not fun enough. There's the problem is this person
and the whole in depth? Right? Oh yeah, So this cheater is
addicted to validation yep. Right. It's not enough to be loved by one
person, right, to be liked and admired and loved all that narcissistic supply,
right, So they're addicted to flirting and the external validation that comes from
feeling attractive. Yeah, it's that dopamine hit of like, oh she's flirting
back, or oh she answered my DM, or I sent her a pick
and she sent me back a racier pick and that kind of thing. Yeah,
they have low self worth because they need that external supply because they don't
have it within themselves to have integrity and it's not enough. Um. Yeah,
they're just not okay to down their own with with one good relationship,
it's like they, yeah, be selfish. That's pretty much self explanatory.
They lack integrity and accountability, right, So they're the ones who are doing
the marker cheating. They're the ones who's like, it was just lunch,
Why are you so crazy? It was just a meme. I just sent
her a funny picture. Why are you freaking out? Like integrity man?
Yeah, and then like a picture on Instagram? You're crazy? You're insecure.
Yeah, So this has happened to me with a person that's everything on
the list, and he admitted that he needs that like external validation. Like
I just want to see if I can get her. It's not that I
care about her or I don't care. I just want to see if I
can I want to see if I can get the response. I want to
see if I can get the validation. And it was always like it would
start with, um, yeah, but like why are you so crazy?
Are you? Why are you jealous? And then caught him red handed and
he would accuse me of doing it. That's what they all do. Yeah,
he'd be like, I did not, You're crazy. You're saying that
because you did it, Like I literally just walked in on it. But
still like, even in that situation, the person will try to tell you
that you're the one cheating even though you walked in on it. I know
nobody will accuse you of more things than the person who's actually doing that shit.
Yeah, so crazy. They take their partner for granted, right,
They think they're always going to be there no matter what, and they can
just do whatever. They have no boundaries. Yeah, I feel like that's
a really huge one with a lot of people, so many people. Why
are you liking thirst raps on Instagram? Why are you like scrolling? Why?
Why why are you doing that? You don't have time in life to
explain to a grown person why that's disrespectful? No, And there was even
a Saturday Live skit about Instagram and it was called why'd you like it?
And they would like show a picture to the contestant and like they'd have to
explain why they liked the picture. And it always came back to because I
hoped that that we could hook up, you know, all the excuses they
gave I like yoga girl, you know, I like whatever. I'm interested
in rock climbing and she just happened to be a girl rock climbing. No,
you like it? I thought you would hook up. So these are
like just the bare bones of a cheating heart there. Yeah, And it's
like it's so insidious because only the cheater knows for sure what's in the heart,
Like, yeah, well you could be doing innocuous things, but it
could also be micro cheating, right, Yeah. And the thing is,
I think I figured that out because this happened when I was really young,
and I think I figured it out because I was, like me being a
rational not crazy person, I was like, if you want to sleep with
other people, like why don't you just date a bunch of people, Like
why would you get in a relationship with me? Knowing that I would never
approve of that? And I want to be totally exclusive and that monogamy is
important to me. Why would you do that if you just want to sleep
with other people? You could easily just not date me, bro, if
you could just not And then so then you have to think to yourself,
Okay, well, there's got to be other reasons, right, There's got
to be a reason why they insist on being in a monogamous relationship with me
that they also insist on going outside of there's something going on. And then
you do start to find all those things on that list, and you start
to figure that out. Don't want you because then they have to compete with
their ego and other men, and they don't want that. So they want
to lock you down and make sure you're not cheating because if you had an
open relationship or you had this understanding where you're going to date other people or
sleep around or whatever, then they have to compete with that, right.
Oh no. And this person was like also insanely jealous and paranoid, Like
somebody literally texted me to They were like a neighbor that was new in town,
and they were like, do you know of a good place to go
skiing? And I was like, no, I'm from Michigan. I don't
really ski and they were like, oh okay, And that was like a
full blown like breaking stuff, smashing things because I was cheating because somebody a
neighbor asked me that. Well, at the same time he's like doing the
stuff. So yeah, it's like a classic projection. Yeah, and they
need like that weird person and the person's not weird, but it's like this
weird dynamic where they need the person that's a constant that's like stable for them,
a soft place to land when all the other craziness they're up to doesn't
work out and stuff like that. So they're like want you to be that
for them, but they also want to do all this insane shit and it's
just like but it's so there's like a study I was reading earlier about this
kind of stuff where it said that these kind of things are like a social
contagion cheating and divorce, So like, if you have a close friend who's
recently gotten divorced, you are seventy five percent more likely to get divorced.
This was a UK study they did that was pretty good. And then the
same thing with cheating. It was like they found that couples where somebody was
cheating. If they had friends who were cheating, like everybody in that peer
group, it was more likely that they were going to also have affairs.
So there's a weird there is kind of a social contract in this way.
It's like if we're all going to have free love and be cheaters and get
divorces and all that stuff, it's like, if everyone around you is doing
it, you just think it's not a big deal. And it's like when
we had more stigma around these things, you know, like there was a
time where if you were a deadbeat dad, nobody would hire you. Oh
that's the thing. People are pushing back on this cheating thing, and a
lot of guy okay, two stories. One this guy came on a podcast
and he was like, I don't know any men who have cheating on their
wives. I just don't know one. And he's like, the thing is
we should get some women who are more understanding than this is what all men
do. And I'm like, that's so gross. And then another guy was
like, I don't do business with people who were unfaithful to their partner.
And he's like, and I know a lot of guys who will not have
anything to do business wise friendship anything with cheaters, because if you can screw
over the person that you sleep next to you and you tell him you love
them and you lie to them, what are you gonna do in business with
me? You don't even that happened to me where I had a friend and
he had a business with his friend who he knew was cheating on his Like
they hadn't gotten married, but they'd been together for like eleven years or something.
I'm like, first of all, he's gotten this girl just for some
reason, hang around for eleven years without marrying her, and he's having an
affair. I'm like, why do you want this person as a business partner.
Isn't that like it doesn't that make it extremely likely that he's going to
screw you over? And my friend was like, oh no, I don't
think it like translates that way. It of course, he totally screwed my
friend out of tons of money and it was doing all kinds of illegal stuff
and ended up totally screwing him over. So so I'm going to have a
zero tolerance policy for cheaters. I think it's disgusting and I already do honestly.
Like I had a girl friend once who was like dumping all her relationship
stuff on me a lot, and then decided she was going to have an
affair and was telling me all about it, And I think she really expected
me to like validate her choice, Like I've spent all these weeks dumping on
you about how horrible my husband is, so now that I'm having this affair,
I can tell you about it, and you're like not going to push
back, And I was like, dude, no, you if you if
it's that bad and the marriage just doesn't sell, eligible, you get a
divorce and you work through your issues and then you carefully, because they had
kids, you carefully decide if and when to date again, and who might
even be a possibility to bring into your kids. No, you don't have
an affair, No, obviously, Like I was like, how can you
be my friend and not know that I would react this way? Yeah,
And it's just so damaging and disrespectful, Like can you imagine being right next
to a person and they're texting another person? And because cheating is hard,
like it's easier to be faithful because you know, I'm always like these people
have boundless energy and so much time. I would never have time to person.
You gotta lie, you gotta keep it secret, you gotta go and
like act like you're pooping and you like texting them or doing whatever. Yeah
you know what I mean. Yeah, but I think some people they like
I know people in my life who love that drama. It's like tightment to
them, and it's like they love dysfunctional relationships and cheating and it's it's you
can tell that some people aren't gonna stop because it's like they like it.
It's it will get something out of it. You know that. That's another
thing, Like person cheats on you, it's it, that's over. They're
not going to stop. And how oh yeah for sure, and how many
literal miracle for them to repent of that? How many times have you seen
where somebody has a very attractive spouse, whether it's the man or the woman,
and the person they cheat on that person with is like way less attractive,
and everyone's like, what, you cheated on her with that girl or
you cheated on him with that guy. What. So it's it can't just
be about like not getting your needs met or wanting someone, but it's like
there's other, like you said, the weird validation, the external validation and
the other things going on. Let's talk about this person that gets cheated on,
because that there's things we can do to protect ourselves. So they are
overgiving, They're over forgiving and overgiving. They're not going to confront you about
your pr and they're not going to confront you about your liking Instagram. They
have their cowards, you know, So these red flags that pop up,
they're gonna gaslight themselves or they're gonna listen to the person gaslight in them and
just say, oh, it's no problem. It's I'm a cool girl.
I get it right, you know. Yes, I have heard this.
I've heard this from women, whether it used to be cool, I'm not
cool. Yeah, I'm going to prove how cool I am by totally being
nonchalant about this guy like cheating them. Well, that's what happened with the
daughter of mine, where she was like out with a group and this guy
she was dating his friends were like totally hitting on her, and She's like
it was like he didn't even care, and I've had this horrible feeling in
my stomach ever since. And I'm like, then that's it, yeah,
because that's true. If this dude was serious about you. Other guys hitting
on you right in front of him would be an issue. Oh definitely.
And she's like, well, I thought so, mom, and I knew
that you would tell me that. But like I have all these like really
progressive friends out here that act like it's cool to not be jealous and like
you don't want to be possessive and you don't want to own people. And
I'm like, that's all bullshits. She's like, Okay, I thought so.
I just I just wanted to hear you say it. Yeah. So
these people are over forgiving. They have fear being alone. Yea. They
have low self esteem, but in a different way. M they're used to
being abused. They're just used to getting cheated on. They think this is
how life is, this is how men are. All men are this way.
I just have to get used to it, right Yeah. And they
cannot confront problems. So if you got cheated on, it is no thing
to do with you, right, No, there's something and that other person
that they needed to do, because, like I said, if if they
just wanted someone else, they'd be like, listen, I don't really feel
like this is working out. We're going to break up. And then they
would go find someone if they have to cheat on you, there's something else
going on with them. And it's so gross because like, you would live
your life differently if you knew the truth about what this person was doing.
You would make decisions that benefit you and like not them. It's just such
the worst way to use somebody. I just can't believe it. And it's
like, and you can. You can damage people for life doing that kind
of easy. Yeah, So you don't just ruin their relationship with you,
you ruin their relationship with future partners, you know. It's like, yeah,
and you make it really hard for them to bond or trust or right.
So, wrapping it up, we've gone for so long, and I'm
grateful that you spent all this time with me tonight. I'm sure your family's
waiting for you to get back. But I have one more thing that I
made. This is the piece to resistance of tonight. And this is what
I call the Super Mario dating strategy. Oh my god, I love it
already. You guys all love video games so much, and that's like one
of the number one complaints that women have about men is that they're childish and
they play too much video games. Like if you would have asked me what
would be destroying the American family in twenty twenty video games and PRN, I
would not have thought that, but it's true. Yeah, so well they're
both so addictive for some people. Yeah, so I'm going to explain it
using video game terminologies and what we got here. And this is from a
woman's perspective, right, So here's Princess Peach. You're not a first trap.
You're not, I thought. You're just a nice woman who wants to
have a family and get and have a nice life. You know, a
little bit of romance, a little bit of success. You're not desperate by
any means. And here you have your bad guys, right, the people
you want to keep away from you as much as possible. You do not
want these people in your life. You do not want them progressing the levels
to get to your levels. So you're up here. You never go down
to hang out with these guys, right, Yeah, because there's bowsers.
There's people who will kill you. They will rape you, they will cheat
on you, they will take all your money, they will do the worst
things possible that you can even think of. And so we put these levels
of protection between us and them and going by red flags so we can see
like who is going to come up these to where you are? Right?
Did you ever see that dating game where she picked the serial killer? Yes?
I was actually just sitting here thinking about all the women, Like I
was just watching Dahmer on Netflix and how they show all the women who would
write love letters to him, and there's yeah, the most horrific serial killers
get, like the most love letters from women. Is so crazy. So
we want to stay live. We don't want our lives ruined by evil,
narcissistic people. So we need to identify some of these batties, like these
red flags. So one of the first things I would say is like,
look out for guys that do not want to get married. If I don't
want to get married. Next, oh, I wish somebody would have told
that to eighteen year old rage. That would have saved me so much time.
Only marios can ascend to get to the marriage level. So this is
like marriage engagement, dating, friendship help. Yeah, okay, And we
only want the good guys to get up to here where we are. We're
not allowing the bowsers. So guys who are narcissists, guys who don't want
to get married, guys with lots of baby mamas. Yeah. What else
is a huge red flag that would like not even progress to friendship level.
Um, Just guys who are like the gang banger types, the biker types,
them, the really temperamental, melodramatic like artists types who like they're really
fun and exciting at first, but then they'll go through two months stints where
they don't want to leave their apartment and just want to go on benders and
not talk to people. Like you know what I mean, Like emotionally instable
guys no matter how cute or artists dick, because sometimes those guys are really
charismatic and captivating. They don't make good dads. They're too unreliable. If
you want to have children ever, you need somebody stable. So anybody who's
like really emotionally up and down like that as a man new not a good
idea. How about guys who run hot and cold? Yeah yeah, so
that's actually a super effective mind control torture. Yeah yeah, lukewarm being hot
one day cold and next you can drive somebody crazy. Yeah literally with that
kind of behavior. So if a guy's going hot and cold. If he
is, you know, just like a bad dude, keep him down here,
and then you have your friendship level. So if I had to do
it all over again, God forbid, let's hope not no up here hanging
out by myself, single, healed bride of Christ. My focus is like
in the church, in my work, I'm not trying to date. Yeah,
because this is the worst level dating. This is where all the crap
happens in the dating level. So you want to keep the guys down here
at friendship level because you don't want to hurt them and you don't want to
get hurt, right, Like I call this how to not get your heart
ripped out a thousand times? Yeah, right, Well, and another thing
too is like if you know a guy is interested in you, this happens
a lot. If you have a guy that you friend zoned and you know
for a fact he's interested in you, sometimes you can't stay friends with that
guy because it really is just gonna like, yeah, hurt him and lead
him on and stuff like that too. So here we're not leading people on.
We're not making them take us to expensive dinners and not getting them anything
in return. Okay, we're keeping them. We're asking all the questions.
Okay, we're gonna hit this box million times, yeah, till we find
out what kind of person this is. This is like hanging out a coffee
hour at church. I would say, if a guy, if I don't
know you from Adam, you could be bowser. Yeah, you could like
cut my toes off and keep my head in a freezer. I don't know
what the other red flag is now that i'm thinking back, is like,
um, guys that either like they don't have any roots, because that's how
the like Connors's person got me. It's like, oh, I'm from you
know, a state that's really far away, and it was like I never
could meet his family or talk to anybody who really knew him until it was
like way too late, you know. So it was like anything he told
me, I just had to believe it because there's nobody around, so like
strangers is weird. Yeah, and like good good guys like you'll get to
know their friends, you'll get to know their family, and if their friends
and family are generally like pretty quality people, that's usually a good sign.
Yeah, because good quality people don't usually hang out with bowsers. No,
So we're not going to be alone with them at night. M we're staying
in public, we're staying in the daytime. I would say if you if
I just met somebody, He'm like, oh, you're people. I want
to get to know you, blah blah blah, I'd be like, you
come to coffee hour. That's how you can get to know me. Yeah,
okay, because I'm not going on a walk with you all by myself.
I'm not going to get coffee with you. We're gonna you're gonna see
what I'm about. And that's a liturgy and coffee hour. And if you
really like me, you'll be there. If you wanted to, he will.
Yeah, there is nothing that you can do to turn off a guy
that really likes you, as far as like putting up goalposts and boundaries.
He'll smash them, right, he'll get through them. If he wants to
be with you. Up here in the marriage level, he will do this
really fast. So that's how you keep yourself safe. That's how you know.
You want to make sure they're actually looking for a wife and not just
somebody to use. Right. So then this is the level that like is
the most dangerous, and everybody gets stuck here and everybody this is where all
the babies are born. Yes, right, this is the living together level.
It's like we're just cohabitating and sleeping together, but we never get past
that. This is you if you're not if he never asked you to marry
him, and you're having babies with him, this is you waiting to get
married because he's not going to do it. Yep, it's like so sad.
It's like you know that Facebook um picture that they put in there instead
of your If you don't upload a picture, it's just like a blue like
the gray Avatar thing. If you're living with somebody and having kids with them
and he doesn't marry you, that's you. He's waiting for his woman and
he hasn't married you because he's ready to drop you at the drop of a
hat when he meets his dream girl. Yeah, so you're just a placeholder.
So do not have kids with somebody you're not married to. Do not
give your intimacy to somebody who didn't marry you. One d And that's the
hardest thing to convince everybody else. So hopefully after this hours that we've been
here talking about this, if you've only come away with one thing. It's
marriage is just a piece of paper, and we can just live together and
sleep together and cohabitate and I'm sure it'll work out. That's not a thing.
Like I know there are people out there somewhere where that works out for
them eventually, But like, why why would you do that to yourself?
Why would you take that kind of risk? Like, just find a person
who actually wants marriage like you do before you have a family with them.
So leave the dusties down here in the lava level. Do not be a
forever girlfriend. I'm thinking year and a half. Yeah, he hasn't brought
up marriage after a year and a half of dating? Yeah, yeah,
okay, sure what else? No sleeping because it's like there's so much wiggle
room in this like level of dating. Yeah, you can get away with
anything because you're supposed to be sleeping together. You're supposed to be you know,
like you end up like buying stuff together. You just end up all
tangle up. Yeah, but without the actual commitment, then that breeds resentment
and it's just it's just a bad deal. Don't do it. So you
have to get rid of the ghosties, the guys who are afraid of commitment
who do not want to like go to the next level because like you don't
even know how you got there. Like remember in the ghosts levels, you
would open a door and you're still in the same room. Yeah, that's
what dating is. That's true, right, Yeah that was me. That
was stupid me back in the day. Yeah, I was the forever girlfriend
who was like, well, I don't want to push him, and if
I push him, then you know, he might leave. And if I'm
sure that if I just hang around and be awesome, he'll totally like you
want to marry me at some point. It's just it's so dumb and so
stupid. But here is also on my behalf. I was given terrible advice
by my mother who literally like told me this was all the way to do
it. There is nothing that you can do to make a man want to
marry you more after you've given him a family. What is he waiting for?
Like, oh, you're frozen? Oh no, are you still there?
Okay, we're back technical issues, We're almost done. Okay, So
dating, you want to get in and out of this as fast as possible,
right, keep them in the friend zone until you really know them.
And it's almost like courting. Like you said, you know, we are
intentionally dating to see if we are going to get married. Yeah, and
then here's the engagement level. Here's where you can talk about your future,
your kids, your finances, all the other goodies, your friends, all
that. And this is the marriage level, which represents intimacy, love,
sex, all of that, and long life because it is proven that men
who are married live longer. Yeah, because it's more healthy for them.
Yep, right, Yeah, Andrew always tells people that he likes being married
a lot more than he thought he would, and he totally recommends it.
So so, and he was an unlikely guy. If you had met him
at twenty one, you'd be shocked that he was saying that. But so,
where a lot of girls go wrong is they try to merge the finances,
the household and put all of the car before the horse. And something
really tragic happens when you are working for a guy who's not committed to you,
and it's like they call it Bob the builder. So do not build
a man's business that you're not married to, right or at least engaged.
Do not work for him. Do not merge your personalities, your goals,
your value all that when you're dating you still, yeah, because if he's
going to be a doctor, he's going to be a doctor. And if
he didn't marry you when he was in med school, he's waiting till he
graduates to get the kind of woman that he thinks that a doctor came full
right, and he's using you in the meantime dating. I didn't commit to
her. I never said we could get married, you know. And he
will not lose one wink of sleep that you put him through med school,
right, He will dump you as fast as he can once he meets the
girl of his dreams. Well, yeah, And I mean you kind of
teach people how to treat you. If you tell somebody that this is all
fine, then when you've had enough after two years of it, they're kind
of like, why are you mad all of a sudden, You've been doing
this for two years? What's the problem now? And then you don't really
know what to say to that other than like, well, but I had
different expectations. It's like, yeah, but two years ago would have been
the time to make that known. You shouldn't have like moved everything. I
did the same things. It's now that I have hindsight. It's very stupid,
but I think so many people do this mistake. Yeah, So do
not build up a man that has not expressed to you that you're getting married.
Period. You're just gonna regret it. He's gonna screw you over and
he's not gonna think he did anything wrong by wasting years of your life,
right. Yeah, And ladies, we don't have forever, you know.
I mean, if you do want kids, do you want to like live
with a dude for ten years? Doesn't sound like a good strategy. So
don't give a man a family that hasn't committed to you. So this you
need to like keep all the narcissists and the crazy guys down here and only
let Mario ascend these levels. And he, if he's a real Mario,
he's gonna bust through this really fast. He's not gonna be like, oh,
I don't know if I can commit. I don't know if I can
be a good dad. I don't know. I don't that's the worst too.
I don't ever even believe when people say that, when they're like I
just don't know, it's like, yes, you do, you just don't
want to say it. It because there's consequences to saying it right now,
you can do that. Yeah, you love the sweet spot where you're getting
all the benefit, but you don't really have the total responsibility and commitment yet,
so you don't. It's not that you don't know, it's that you
don't want to tell me the truth because then you lose your little sweet spot,
you know. So never when a guy says he doesn't know or he
needs to think about it or needs more time, it's like, no,
if he wanted to, he would. Yeah, right, if you wanted
to beat this dating level and get to engagement and marriage. And the thing
is, it's way more respectable. I've heard this teaching in the church.
It's okay to break off an engagement. Yeah, it's perfect up until the
day you're getting married, up until the time you're walking. It's okay to
say I can't do this. But at least you had the intention of,
you know, like the goal to not stay here right right, and you
were working towards getting married and you say, I don't think we're a good
match, we can't get married. That way more better than just dating and
breaking up. Yeah, it's the it's the cohabitating sleeping together and playing house
thing that is such an awful trap. Yes, it's the intimacy sucks.
The we're not going to be cooking for you if we're not married. We're
not gonna be cleaning your house. We're not going to be doing all of
these things that wife level things that you have to unlock by getting married.
We're not doing that anymore, right because the bowsers are going to take all
of this and say thank you very much, and then they're going to go
on to the next person. Right. Well, and from this sounds bad,
but think about it, like why wouldn't they Yeah, if all these
women are going to let them, they're going to do it because it's human
nature just to try and est deal. Why are you're gonna if someone says
the ferrari costs this much, are you going to pay them ten thousand more
than what they asked for? No, of course not. Yeah, you're
gonna pay the price that it was set. So the price is for intimacy,
being your therapist, being your cook, clean laundry finances. All of
that is marriage. And we can do a whole marriage show maybe later on
in the future, because it does have to do with being a king and
a queen, which is something kind of CRUs the way that they look at
it, but the way that we explain it, it's very holy, an
honorable thing. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, just be princess. Yes,
And I used to talk about princess program, I mean, and I've
changed my mind kind of about like the whole royalty idea, and maybe we
can talk about that next time. But I am so grateful that you spent
all this time and I think we're going on like three hours, and I
hope you guys liked my silly drawing. And I think that's the cutest drawing
I've ever seen. I love it so much. Seriously, this is how
you protect your heart, Like you have a precious princess heart, right and
you don't want it to get trampled on, and you don't want to lose
that sensitivity by dating a bunch of bowsers and a bunch of tinies and a
bunch of plant piranhas. Yeah, so thank you guys for coming and listening
to the whole thing, and hopefully we can bring love back