1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:06,519 Hello everyone, and welcome to Out of this World. And today we're gonna 2 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:11,599 be talking about dating. I am your host, Jamie Hanshaw, and Rachel 3 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:15,160 Wilson is here again with me, just because we have such great chemistry. 4 00:00:15,679 --> 00:00:19,440 Yeah right, I think we do. I think we do too. And 5 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:24,239 you might say, what does dating have to do with conspiracies? I thought 6 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:29,920 this was a conspiracy show, but I think that it's all wrapped up together, 7 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:36,880 and I think the modern dating milieu is such a s h I T 8 00:00:37,119 --> 00:00:42,479 show right now that it is hard to look at. It's literally a train 9 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:48,439 wreck. I am a very romantic person. I love love, I love 10 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:54,000 couples, I love holidays, I love babies. I want you all to 11 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,880 get together and have a great life and make lots of babies and be very 12 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,880 happy. But that is not what is happening. So today we are going 13 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:06,959 to hash out what's going on in the dating game. We're going to talk 14 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:12,359 about the teleology of dating. And you know what that word means, don't 15 00:01:12,359 --> 00:01:17,959 you? I do you. But first I want to say I agree with 16 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,959 you. I am always stumping for families. I'm very very pro family, 17 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:26,439 pro marriage, pro motherhood. I agree. I want all the babies and 18 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:30,920 the Christmas parties and everything. So we are in alignment on that one. 19 00:01:30,079 --> 00:01:34,319 Yes, I love romance. I love weddings. I love hooking people up 20 00:01:36,799 --> 00:01:40,680 and watching them fall in love and get married and have nice families. So 21 00:01:41,359 --> 00:01:46,159 can you tell us what teleology means? Isn't it kind of like the how 22 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:49,400 we know that. It's like related to the truth. It's the purpose of 23 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:53,959 things, the purpose of things. Yeah, so that's what they talk about 24 00:01:53,959 --> 00:01:57,159 a lot and what it's for. Yeah. So let's say if you came 25 00:01:57,159 --> 00:02:00,400 over to my house and I'm serving you dinner and I'm using my iPhone to 26 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:06,079 scoop the mashed potatoes on your plate, right, that's gonna be weird. 27 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,120 You're like, don't you know that the iPhone can do all of these other 28 00:02:09,159 --> 00:02:12,800 things other than scoop mashed potatoes. And You're like, well, it works 29 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,879 perfectly this way, so I'm just going to keep using it as a spoon. 30 00:02:15,599 --> 00:02:19,759 And that's kind of how I feel like people are using dating. I 31 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,120 feel like that's how they use each other. There's a lot of abuse going 32 00:02:23,159 --> 00:02:28,240 on right now, just because people are not given the skills and the tools 33 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:32,479 and the reason and the purpose and the teleology of why we are coupling, 34 00:02:32,879 --> 00:02:38,520 and obviously, in our worldview, that is to get married. Yeah, 35 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:43,479 I totally agree, yes, and I talk about this all the time. 36 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:47,319 That's like my big beef with feminism really is that so much of it is 37 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:53,400 aimed at like men and women should be separate, women should be independent. 38 00:02:53,479 --> 00:02:55,080 And I want to be with someone because I want to and not because I 39 00:02:55,120 --> 00:03:00,280 need to, which is fine, but it's you're right, It's like people 40 00:03:00,719 --> 00:03:05,360 don't understand what male female relationships are supposed to be. Now. It's like 41 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,719 either because I'm bored, because I'm lonely, because it's took up culture or 42 00:03:09,719 --> 00:03:16,159 whatever. It's almost everything except what it's for. Yeah, and so in 43 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:23,199 our sort of orthodox thinking and pathway, this is what I was told in 44 00:03:23,599 --> 00:03:28,719 primerial counseling. So there's pretty much two ways that you can choose for your 45 00:03:28,759 --> 00:03:32,319 life if you want to live a very strict Orthodox life, and that is 46 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:38,919 monasticism or marriage. Because we're not supposed to be existing by ourselves. We 47 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:44,879 are supposed to be in community, in community living, or in a family 48 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:51,319 unit household. Right, because you're not protected when you're alone, you're not 49 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:58,080 protected even from yourself and your own vices. Yeah alone, So let's rewind, 50 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,759 let's go all the way back to maybe like when we're getting interested in 51 00:04:00,879 --> 00:04:05,240 boys, like having crushes, and in middle school, you're going through puberty, 52 00:04:05,319 --> 00:04:11,240 you're having the changes, you're starting to notice the other sex a little 53 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:16,639 bit more, and they will tell you that this is when you need to 54 00:04:17,319 --> 00:04:25,759 establish your adult spiritual disposition, and what that means is like, know who 55 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:30,519 you are, have your relationship with God and the church, and these things 56 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,879 are all the things that you have to set up before you're even ready to 57 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:46,519 start thinking about being a partner to someone. Right, So, why would 58 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:51,120 kids and puberty be ready for sex but not mature enough to have it. 59 00:04:54,199 --> 00:05:00,120 That's a biological question that a lot of people would ask. If you're not 60 00:05:00,399 --> 00:05:03,800 ready to be doing that at thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, why is your 61 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:08,759 body ready? What would you say? Well, people do ask me that 62 00:05:08,879 --> 00:05:12,560 all the time, because you know, I like I debate these types of 63 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,759 topics with people all the time. And there's a couple of things going on. 64 00:05:15,759 --> 00:05:21,920 One is that things historically we're not like how they are now. We 65 00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:28,959 live in the current culture that keeps everybody very infantilized until they're much older, 66 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:33,079 whereas like my grandma's ninety six, and by the time she was fourteen or 67 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:38,720 fifteen, she could like do all kinds of things that fourteen and fifteen year 68 00:05:38,759 --> 00:05:42,399 olds can't do now. She had much more responsibility. She could almost like 69 00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:46,439 run a house really if she had to. At like fifteen, she could 70 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,040 like, you know, kill a chicken and pluck it and cook it for 71 00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:53,680 dinner, and milk a cow, and like garden and keep a house and 72 00:05:53,759 --> 00:05:59,160 like do all kinds of things, and was very like mature compared to what 73 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:02,959 people are now. So I think that's one aspect, and there are other 74 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,920 cultures in the world where it's still a little bit more like that. Some 75 00:06:05,959 --> 00:06:11,600 of the more like the less modern cultures are probably a little bit more that 76 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:17,439 way. But then I think there's a difference too between like boys and girls 77 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:21,959 and when they're ready for those sort of things. Like boys do mature a 78 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,879 little bit later, like physically, but it's it's like a year or two, 79 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,319 you know. It's like the girls would kind of start in maybe sixth 80 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,120 grade, seventh grade or something. And that's another thing is like historically I 81 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,720 don't think girls got their periods quite as young as they do now we have 82 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:41,839 girls now getting periods at like eight nine years old because of all of the 83 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:46,519 things and the food supply and the plastics and stuff like that, all the 84 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:51,560 environmental estrogens and things like that, and obesity contributes to it too. So 85 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:59,639 I think like when you look at historic examples, girls at fourteen fifteen were 86 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,480 probably probably a lot more ready for that sort of thing, and boys by 87 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:08,120 the time they were sixteen seventeen eighteen were like fighting in wars and doing very 88 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:12,319 adult things too, So I think that's part of it. The other part, 89 00:07:13,439 --> 00:07:15,519 well, like when we talk about marriage, it's like, like you 90 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:20,399 said, you're not protected. Yeah, when you're in a marriage, it's 91 00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:25,319 a different situation. You don't have the same risk in that situation that you 92 00:07:25,439 --> 00:07:30,720 do if you're fifteen year old and you're just hooking up. If you were 93 00:07:30,759 --> 00:07:34,160 like, you know, betrothed or you got married as a teenager. A 94 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:40,120 couple hundred years ago, it's like the rate of divorce was so low and 95 00:07:40,319 --> 00:07:44,040 people tended to stay together. Your immediate family was still around most of the 96 00:07:44,079 --> 00:07:46,160 time. It wasn't like it is now where everyone's so atomized and you might 97 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:50,720 not have family anywhere or anybody around you who knows what's going on. So 98 00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:55,920 like, I think the whole dynamic of family and community also gave us a 99 00:07:56,040 --> 00:08:01,639 layer of protection that may have made things. It might not have been a 100 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,319 big deal to be married at sixteen and eighteen, you know, because of 101 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:11,720 those reasons. So I think now we treat sixteen year olds like little bitty 102 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,720 kids in a lot of ways. And even I mean, like, there's 103 00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:16,839 people in their twenties who are living with their mom, have never really gotten 104 00:08:16,839 --> 00:08:22,120 a job, have hardly left the house, don't have good people skills, 105 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:28,439 have a hard time even talking to real life people and making friends this younger 106 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:33,639 generation. So I think now the thought of younger people being married or having 107 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:39,519 marital relations is like this crazy idea. Whereas if we did not, if 108 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:43,240 we weren't raised in this era and it was a couple hundred years ago, 109 00:08:43,279 --> 00:08:48,440 that might not be so weird. What do you think? Here's what I 110 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:52,000 think, and I've heard it explained by a couple of different priests in this 111 00:08:52,039 --> 00:08:56,159 way, is that anybody who is a parent right now to teenagers. I'm 112 00:08:56,159 --> 00:09:00,600 not saying things weren't different back then, but your sixteen year old is not 113 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:05,360 ready to live on their own to get a job. They're not responsible enough. 114 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:09,759 They're not they're just don't have the skills, right, be an adult 115 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:16,039 and take all that on, right. Yeah, And your brain isn't even 116 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:22,240 fully formed until you're like in your early twenties. So this is the time 117 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:26,919 period between when you start your purity change and when you're mature enough to get 118 00:09:26,919 --> 00:09:33,159 ready is when you learn manners. Basically, this is when you learn discipline. 119 00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:37,720 This is when you learn how to act in the company of the opposite 120 00:09:37,759 --> 00:09:45,720 sex. Yeah, you know, to have dignity and respectfulness for each other. 121 00:09:46,759 --> 00:09:50,159 And number one, just to learn how to control your own body. 122 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:56,759 And it's urgent. Yeah, and because if you don't have that tool when 123 00:09:56,759 --> 00:10:01,840 you're older, it's going to be a disaster. That's a very good point. 124 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,639 Yeah, you don't know how to control and discipline your own sexuality. 125 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:11,679 You're gonna be cheating, You're gonna be it's just gonna be terrible. So 126 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:18,639 that's maybe that gives you some time to practice managing and controlling your own passions 127 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,960 before actually you get married. Yeah. That's interesting too, because I mean, 128 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:28,759 the Western liberal democratic order that we live in now almost box at the 129 00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:33,639 idea that people can control any urge they have. It's like the way that 130 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,000 things are now, it's like, and I hear this all the time. 131 00:10:37,039 --> 00:10:39,120 It's like, well, people are gonna do If people are horny, they're 132 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,799 gonna do whatever. If people are sad, they're gonna do this, if 133 00:10:41,799 --> 00:10:46,639 they're mad. There it's almost like we act as though people are slaves to 134 00:10:46,639 --> 00:10:50,720 their passions and that to expect anything else is unreasonable and foolish and silly and 135 00:10:50,879 --> 00:10:56,039 old fashioned. And yeah, so I think the perfect way to put it. 136 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,759 And that's why they put the teams on birth control and they like teach 137 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:03,600 them how to have safe sex, but they don't even tell you about the 138 00:11:03,639 --> 00:11:07,200 emotional component that is not safe. So even though you might not be contracting 139 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:11,000 any kinds of diseases, you're going to be attracting. I mean, you're 140 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,799 going to be attaching to people. You're going to be getting your feelings hurt. 141 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,600 It's just terrible. And like, add social media into all of this 142 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:24,399 mix, and you're gonna get the funkiest, grossest, like slop what we 143 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:28,000 have now because like, for some reason, my algorithm and the things that 144 00:11:28,039 --> 00:11:31,919 I get sent and the things that pop up for me is so much relationship 145 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,720 stuff. So I'm constantly hearing men complain about this and women complain about that, 146 00:11:37,799 --> 00:11:43,039 and so I've crystallized all of these like top complaints, and we're gonna 147 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:46,000 like hash them out right now because I know you're a very wise person. 148 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:50,960 Oh well, thank you. I do have two daughters who are now adults, 149 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:56,960 and I had to have so many conversations with them because it was like, 150 00:11:58,399 --> 00:12:01,519 well, but my friend, my friend and then her boyfriend are doing 151 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,759 it and they just got on birth control. And it's not like they were 152 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,519 even asking. It's more like they didn't understand why what we were doing was 153 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:11,559 so different because they would go to their friend's house and hear from the mom 154 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:16,159 like, it's totally natural. You're all gonna do it anyway. So I 155 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,279 don't want you to ruin your life with a baby or disease, So I'm 156 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,559 going to put you on all this stuff. And I was like, that's 157 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,720 exactly what I said, is like, well, how does that protect you 158 00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:31,440 from getting your heart completely destroyed by your first love because you're completely unprepared. 159 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:37,440 And we treat sex as this super like like it's just smashing together body parts, 160 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,399 no big deal, and it's clearly not and not even for guys. 161 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:46,840 I mean maybe it's a little more casual for guys or some guys, but 162 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,360 I mean, like, my husband got his heart absolutely broken when he was 163 00:12:50,399 --> 00:12:56,679 a teenager, and I think a lot of guys do. So oh yeah, 164 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:01,879 so tonight we're gonna be talking about presupposition and like guys are this way 165 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:07,440 and girls are this way, and I just don't agree with a lot of 166 00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:16,320 the starting points. Like here's one, guys are biologically programmed and the imperative 167 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,799 for them is to mate with as many variety of women as possible. It's 168 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:24,240 evolutionary. Yeah, we heard that, Yes, I have, and Andy 169 00:13:24,279 --> 00:13:28,679 has. Andy has argued that a lot because he doesn't agree with that either. 170 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:31,639 He's like, yeah, maybe we have like higher sex drives, but 171 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:37,279 that's because you know, women have one opportunity per month to get pregnant, 172 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:41,440 whereas you know we can do that multiple times. He's like, but that 173 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:46,240 doesn't mean that we are programmed to have harems or put as many notches on 174 00:13:46,279 --> 00:13:52,120 our belt as we can possibly have. And he doesn't agree with that at 175 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,039 all and thinks that it's actually really damaging to men. And then it's also 176 00:13:56,039 --> 00:14:00,240 of course damaging to the women that the men do that with. Yeah, 177 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:05,440 so there's one starting position that is false, and so they're gaslighting a lot 178 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,480 of women into thinking, well, it's okay for me to cheat and want 179 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:16,600 multiplicity and harems and like sister wives and all of that crazy stuff. But 180 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:22,519 it's not because your presupposition is false. I think you're not giving mankind and 181 00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:26,200 of credit as a fine kind of child of God. They're not just be 182 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:31,200 steel animals that can't control all of their impulses, right exactly. And there's 183 00:14:31,559 --> 00:14:37,600 there's another kind of motivation for this argument that came out of like the early 184 00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:46,399 days of Marxism, where you saw a lot of people arguing against marriage the 185 00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:52,360 nuclear family because they would say, well, this is how men preserve a 186 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,679 legacy and pass down property is through having one wife and a family and the 187 00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:01,159 successive line of family, right, And so they would say that was bad. 188 00:15:01,279 --> 00:15:05,159 So this is one of the reasons you see like the really far left 189 00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:09,480 repeating this narrative all the time, is because it's been a staple within Marxism 190 00:15:09,519 --> 00:15:15,399 to trash the family and say we got to like they formally wanted to get 191 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:20,840 rid of marriage all together. So that people could not pass anything down or 192 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,919 have a legacy through the family, and they wanted everybody's devotion to be to 193 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,879 the state, not to the family or things like that. So I think 194 00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:33,759 that's another reason, because if you look at these sociologists and psychologists starting, 195 00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:37,399 you know, like in the fifties and sixties, like the Kinzies and those 196 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:43,320 kind of people, they all kind of came from that left ethos of being 197 00:15:43,399 --> 00:15:48,200 kind of Marxist sympathetic, and they want so everything became like, well, 198 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:52,360 sex is just a purely biological thing, and like you said, men are 199 00:15:52,399 --> 00:15:56,320 just gonna try to spread their seat all over them. They're just gonna throw 200 00:15:56,399 --> 00:16:00,120 it everywhere, like yeah, just you can have some, and you can 201 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:03,720 have everybody can have some. But that doesn't really make sense, Like even 202 00:16:03,759 --> 00:16:07,799 if you did believe in evolution, which I don't, but even from their 203 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:14,879 perspective, for a man to have no idea which offspring are his doesn't make 204 00:16:14,919 --> 00:16:18,000 any sense. And that was a thing that like a lot of the ancient 205 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:23,039 goddess worshiping cults would do the full moon orgies specifically so that you couldn't establish 206 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:30,399 paternity. So there's some other kind of underlying reasons why they like to push 207 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,320 that narrative of just men can't control themselves and they just have to spread it 208 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:37,639 everywhere far and wide, and you can't you can't expect them to have any 209 00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:41,559 measure of control. And it implies that men aren't loyal and can't be trusted. 210 00:16:41,879 --> 00:16:48,080 Yes, exactly, And that's what I'm seeing all over the internet is 211 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,879 what you just said. Men aren't loyal and can't be trusted. Which I 212 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:56,519 don't think that every man is like that, but if you give them enough 213 00:16:56,080 --> 00:17:02,519 rope, they're going to act like that. Yep. Especially when they don't. 214 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,720 They're not very good at policing each other. I don't think, in 215 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:12,960 my opinion, men need to step up their game in like challenging other men. 216 00:17:14,759 --> 00:17:18,599 Yeah, because there's one thing to hear it from a woman, and 217 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:22,960 that's a completely different ballgame when from another man. I don't know why. 218 00:17:22,039 --> 00:17:26,119 I can't tell you how many times my husband will be like, you know, 219 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:30,119 Frank said something to me today that I thought was really profound, and 220 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,839 I'm like, I've literally said that too, like ten times, and he's 221 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,640 like, well, just the way Frank put it really makes sense to me. 222 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:40,559 Something about hearing it from another guy. Well, that's because I think 223 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:44,799 that's another thing that I do like to talk about sometimes, like totally get 224 00:17:44,839 --> 00:17:51,079 us. I think it's pertinent men work in hierarchies. They tend to, 225 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,480 like if you ever see a group of guys in a room, they will 226 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,920 like the first kind of interactions they all have with each other is kind of 227 00:17:57,039 --> 00:18:00,960 establishing where everybody is in the hierarchy, like who's the who's the kind of 228 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,680 alpha guy who everyone's gonna follow, like the natural leader person that everyone's gonna 229 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,920 follow. And then there's kind of like it's almost like a military thing where 230 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:14,359 there's like lieutenant guys and then there's worker b guys and they're like comfortable in 231 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,640 those. And it's situational too, like in one situation, you might be 232 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:23,240 more of a leader than others. And we've kind of destroyed that in modern 233 00:18:23,279 --> 00:18:26,759 society as well. So it used to be that there was more policing. 234 00:18:26,799 --> 00:18:30,559 If you go back and watch like you, I'm sure you would know because 235 00:18:30,559 --> 00:18:33,640 you and Jay watch all the movies all the time, But like the older 236 00:18:33,759 --> 00:18:37,640 like forties and fifties movies, it was a very common thing where it was 237 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:42,519 like if a guy was mishandling a woman, the other men would step in 238 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:48,519 so quick and take care of it that it was like not even a thing, 239 00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:52,680 whereas I don't think you would even really that's you don't even see that 240 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,960 in movies really anymore. It's just kind of disappeared. And it's of course 241 00:18:55,960 --> 00:19:00,599 always assumed that the ninety pound girl in the leggings and flip flops and absolutely 242 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,440 kick the shit out of any man that's that might abuse or anyway. Which 243 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:07,400 is another dangerous thing that we teach women, which is like, you're the 244 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:11,119 exact same as a man, and if he looks at you wrong, you 245 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:17,400 can just beat the crap out of him. It's a terrible thing to yell 246 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:25,599 women. Even the most like trained woman in hand to hand combat cannot be 247 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:30,920 a muscle guy. It's just speaking it not even just like an average guy. 248 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:33,599 Just it's so it's so different. And I've had people try to tell 249 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,640 me that, and I'm like, there's a reason I teach women how to 250 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:41,599 use guns because it's the only thing that equalizes you with a threatening man. 251 00:19:41,519 --> 00:19:47,880 So so that's something I want to bring up, is that and a lot 252 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:52,039 of dating advice. You're gonna get one of the presuppositions that all people are 253 00:19:52,079 --> 00:19:56,480 well adjusted people with like a good and honorable intentions, and that is just 254 00:19:56,599 --> 00:20:03,920 not the case anymore, especially post the OVID, and people are going crazy 255 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:11,599 and they're getting crazier, especially with the the pokey. Yes, so you 256 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:18,480 cannot presuppose anymore that it's just like Wally Cleaver showing up at your house with 257 00:20:18,599 --> 00:20:22,000 roses in his hand asking you to go for a walk in the park. 258 00:20:22,079 --> 00:20:26,039 And it's not like that. No, there are literal predators and like demons 259 00:20:26,079 --> 00:20:33,519 with skin on that are marking you for consumption. And if I had a 260 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:40,640 dollar for every narcissist video on YouTube, i'd be a millionaire. It's true 261 00:20:40,759 --> 00:20:45,160 because there's something to it, because that's how in the spiritual world the demonic 262 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:49,480 operates. It's completely void of any It's a black hole that just eats up 263 00:20:49,519 --> 00:20:56,599 everything and just like destroys everything in his path. So they're not all well 264 00:20:56,599 --> 00:21:03,640 adjusted guys or girls. No, and so both sides are filled with crazies. 265 00:21:03,759 --> 00:21:08,319 Yes, you know. So this brings me to the one of the 266 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:14,319 articles that popped up that went super viral this month, called the rise of 267 00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:19,880 single Lonely Men in Psychology, today, And it wasn't even that in depth 268 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:25,200 of an article. It was just kind of like women's standards are here and 269 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:30,200 men aren't meeting them, and they are alone and they're sexless, and this 270 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:37,519 is going to be a problem because when you have a disproportionate amount of men 271 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,839 who aren't who are feral, yeah, of a better. You know, 272 00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:44,160 they don't have a family, they don't have children, they don't have women 273 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:49,519 to like rain them in. They're roping around in packs like hurting people. 274 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:56,559 Right, Yeah, they are a danger to society. And I on one 275 00:21:56,599 --> 00:21:59,119 hand, I feel really bad for lonely men, and then on the other 276 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:03,240 hand, I'm like, you don't have the skill set and like you're not 277 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:10,559 owed a wife, right, That is something that you earn through being having 278 00:22:10,599 --> 00:22:15,680 integrity, being responsible, you know, like all of the virtues. Then 279 00:22:15,759 --> 00:22:19,440 you deserve a wife, not just because you're a man. You don't like 280 00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:23,119 automatically get sex whenever you want, right, And I think that goes back 281 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,960 to what you brought up in the beginning, which is like what are relationships 282 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:32,599 for? It used to be that to be a husband, all the guys 283 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:37,920 knew that's a big responsibility that was equated with responsibility. It wasn't just about 284 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,000 having sexy time. It was like, can I provide for a woman and 285 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:47,960 children? Can I handle like the ups and downs of life and like be 286 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,400 stable? It was like a and every man kind of knew that we used 287 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:56,519 to have courting, right, we would court like again, to go back 288 00:22:56,559 --> 00:23:00,680 to my ninety six year old grandma who was day two guys, like right 289 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:04,480 at the outbreak of World War two and trying to decide between them, and 290 00:23:04,559 --> 00:23:07,880 they were both phenomenal, like one ended up being an airline pilot and the 291 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,839 other one ended up being a business owner, and they were both great. 292 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:18,440 But when she talks about like how she sees people dating and being married and 293 00:23:18,519 --> 00:23:22,480 having relationships now compared to when she was young, she's like, it's not 294 00:23:22,559 --> 00:23:26,960 even the same universe. Like she doesn't even know what to make of it. 295 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:30,319 Really, She's just like, I don't know what's going on. I 296 00:23:30,319 --> 00:23:32,599 don't know what's happening. It never used to be like that. And there 297 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,039 was like one boy. One boy came to the house asking for her, 298 00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,279 and her dad was like, she doesn't want to talk to you because, 299 00:23:38,279 --> 00:23:41,359 like, for whatever reason, the dad thought he was not fit right, 300 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,839 And so her dad like literally scared the guy off, which she wasn't mad 301 00:23:45,839 --> 00:23:49,920 about because she said also that he wasn't like the greatest. But yeah, 302 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:56,319 it used to be men would hope that they would get a wife and that 303 00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:02,599 they could prove that they would be fit husbands, and you kind of had 304 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:06,359 to like ask for the woman's hand in marriage, and you had to you 305 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:10,680 know, present a case of how you're going to support her, that you 306 00:24:10,759 --> 00:24:14,720 come from a good family, that you share the same religious beliefs. Like 307 00:24:14,759 --> 00:24:18,400 these were all things that people considered. And it's like now even I have 308 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:22,400 to say, even me, a lot of the stupid things I did when 309 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:26,279 I was young stemmed from just thinking that if a guy was cute and funny, 310 00:24:26,319 --> 00:24:30,640 that was good enough for me. Like now I look back and almost 311 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,799 die of cringe about the way that I thought about things. But I was 312 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,240 kind of a product of my own time. And I did have a mother 313 00:24:37,319 --> 00:24:41,000 who was like very leftist and very casual about that stuff, and like she 314 00:24:41,599 --> 00:24:45,160 was one of the while you're gonna do it, you're going to it's just 315 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:49,319 inevitable that you're going to be having pre marital sex all over the place. 316 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:55,000 And it's like, well that is a really kind of derogatory thing to say 317 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:59,119 to your teenage child, like, well, I don't trust you to be 318 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,000 able to control yoursel self at all. You're just hopeless. So let's just 319 00:25:02,039 --> 00:25:06,000 get you on some birth control. And that's so crazy because you're gonna suffer 320 00:25:06,519 --> 00:25:10,319 two ways. You're gonna suffer from discipline or you're gonna suffer from regret. 321 00:25:10,799 --> 00:25:12,599 Yes, So which one of those do you want it to be? Do 322 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:18,359 you want to be worse or better? Because you're gonna have at least you're 323 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:22,799 gonna have the benefit of having discipline and not making mistakes. And it's so 324 00:25:22,839 --> 00:25:27,039 weird because I I didn't believe in marriage for a long time. I mean, 325 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,079 I believed in the idea of, like, you know, if you 326 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:36,119 find the perfect person or whatever, but I didn't see I wasn't super quick 327 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,960 to do it. I thought, you know, you could just like date 328 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,599 people and live together and if you love each other, it's okay. Yeah 329 00:25:42,599 --> 00:25:48,640 I did too. I just saw no benefit really from locking it down. 330 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:55,599 Yeah, And I was so like, this is really everybody may or may 331 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,079 not know. I talk about this sometimes because it's out there anyway, and 332 00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:03,200 I want people to unders stand, like I'm not this trad woman who's up 333 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,400 here lecturing to all of you, because I've never made mistakes and I'm like 334 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:10,920 super trad. Like that whole thing online is another huge problem, Like she's 335 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:14,519 not really trad. Huh, we're gonna talk about traditional in a second. 336 00:26:14,759 --> 00:26:18,480 Yeah, So yes, I am now. But I got here through a 337 00:26:18,519 --> 00:26:22,920 series of really stupid mistakes that I had work really hard to recover from. 338 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:27,039 And I it was the same thing for me, And it was mostly because 339 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:33,079 I just repeatedly, repeatedly heard that like marriage is like an outdated institution. 340 00:26:34,319 --> 00:26:37,000 It doesn't really work anymore. And do you really want to be stuck with 341 00:26:37,039 --> 00:26:41,160 the same boring person your whole life? You'll you know, marriage gets boring 342 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,839 and then you'll hate each other and you'll never have sex, and it's just 343 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,720 terrible, and like marriage is just a piece of paper, like all these 344 00:26:48,759 --> 00:26:52,039 things that you would hear, And of course I was hearing it from like 345 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:57,200 my boomer generation parents who once been divorced twice, the other's been divorced four 346 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:03,119 times. Their friends are all divorced, like that whole generation was had some 347 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:07,839 of the highest divorce rates ever, and it was there was a slew of 348 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,559 movies that came out that kind of glorified divorce and made it seem like either 349 00:27:11,599 --> 00:27:15,759 cool or no big deal, and so it was Yeah, I just really 350 00:27:15,799 --> 00:27:18,960 heard this repeat it all the time throughout the culture growing up, that marriage 351 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,599 wasn't really a big deal and it's kind of old fashioned. It doesn't really 352 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:26,160 work anymore and it's just a piece of paper. And like you said, 353 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,359 yeah, I moved in with my first boyfriend right after high school because it 354 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,440 was like, well, I can't afford to live by myself and he can't 355 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:38,000 afford to live by himself, so it's convenient, and like we'll probably get 356 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,240 married at some point and if we don't, it doesn't matter because we love 357 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:45,880 each other and it's just all going to work out somehow. And gee whiz, 358 00:27:45,319 --> 00:27:48,920 we had a baby and it didn't go like that, and it was 359 00:27:49,599 --> 00:27:55,759 a heartbreaking, really awful lesson to learn that, like, gee, I 360 00:27:55,839 --> 00:28:00,200 really should have looked for some sign of commitment first, because yeah, once 361 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,519 we had the baby, he was like, oh, I'm not ready for 362 00:28:03,559 --> 00:28:07,039 this. Yeah, And I'm like, this is a really bad time to 363 00:28:07,039 --> 00:28:11,440 tell about it's happening. And I think this happens all the time to a 364 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:18,480 ton of people, and we just don't take it seriously the effect it has 365 00:28:18,519 --> 00:28:22,359 on everyone involved, on the kids, on the parents, on both families 366 00:28:23,279 --> 00:28:30,359 of the people. So reason dating is so important in marriage is so important 367 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:37,160 because it is a salvific act, yes, of martyrdom. H And that 368 00:28:37,279 --> 00:28:41,039 is a topic for a whole another show, because in some ways the thing 369 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:45,039 is flipped. Like, in dating you can be super picky, you can 370 00:28:45,359 --> 00:28:48,480 break up with whoever you want. You can choose not like I don't want 371 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:52,559 this, you can go a different direction. But in marriage you can't, 372 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:56,119 right, So you have to be so careful about who you get married. 373 00:28:56,119 --> 00:29:00,880 So we're going to try and figure out how you can make some smarter choices 374 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,319 even than we have made in the past. Right, Yeah, And I 375 00:29:03,359 --> 00:29:08,079 mean even if you're somebody who maybe you're not Orthodox, maybe you don't really 376 00:29:08,119 --> 00:29:12,680 care about all that, and you don't think there's anything morally wrong with divorce. 377 00:29:14,039 --> 00:29:17,880 Still, what more important decision are you ever going to make in your 378 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:22,759 life than choosing the father or mother of your children? Like, what other 379 00:29:22,799 --> 00:29:26,839 decision do you make in life that has that big of an impact on you 380 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,000 for the rest of your life? Very few things right, So it's super 381 00:29:30,039 --> 00:29:37,440 important. So some of the top memes that I've been seeing, The first 382 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:41,599 one I want to talk about is who has a harder time in life? 383 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:48,640 Men or women? Because I hear both ramming about we have it so hard, 384 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,480 No, we have it so hard, No we do, and so 385 00:29:51,599 --> 00:29:55,400 like women are like we are pressed and abuse, which is true, and 386 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:59,440 the men are like, while men's rights in all of this, the court 387 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:03,240 system and you know a lot of those facts is true too. So I 388 00:30:03,359 --> 00:30:07,400 was thinking about this for a long time and I was like going back and 389 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:11,640 forth, who has a harder time in life? And I want you to 390 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:15,240 give your answer first and then I'll give mine. Okay, I talk about 391 00:30:15,279 --> 00:30:21,319 this a lot too. I think it's equal, but it's at different times 392 00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:25,240 in life. So when you're young, when you're a young woman, you 393 00:30:25,279 --> 00:30:29,400 don't even have to be like a super hot woman. You can just be 394 00:30:29,559 --> 00:30:33,759 like average attractiveness. If you are young and fertile, life is pretty easy. 395 00:30:34,599 --> 00:30:40,000 That might sound good, but it's actually very dangerous because it kind of 396 00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:44,759 tricks us as young women into thinking it will always be this way. So 397 00:30:44,799 --> 00:30:48,799 when you're a pretty eighteen year old, right, you're a pretty attractive fertile 398 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:55,240 eighteen year old men kind of bend over backwards to give you things and do 399 00:30:55,359 --> 00:30:59,359 stuff for you, and like in very subtle ways and in much more obvious 400 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,079 ways, like paying for your dinner, and like, there are guys who 401 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,079 will totally simp and like bend over backwards and give women anything they want. 402 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:11,160 If you're on the side of the road with your tire blown versus a guy 403 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,559 on the side of the road with a tire blown, people are probably gonna 404 00:31:12,559 --> 00:31:18,400 stop for you. Things like that. But the thing about that is that 405 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,400 it's a lot of power and it's a lot of benefit early in your life, 406 00:31:22,599 --> 00:31:26,359 but it only lasts for a short time. It's kind of like Cinderella 407 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:30,240 with the pumpkin at midnight, where her carriage turns into a pumpkin and everything 408 00:31:30,279 --> 00:31:33,200 goes back. It's kind of like that, because you everybody's heard of the 409 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:40,079 wall probably where women hit thirty five ish forty, maybe something like that, 410 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:44,200 and she might still look great, she might be very charming, she might 411 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:51,319 still be very attractive, but suddenly men just aren't as enthusiastic and the world 412 00:31:51,519 --> 00:31:55,440 isn't kind of bending over backwards to treat you a certain way based on what 413 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,240 you look like or things like that. I think of all these young girls 414 00:31:57,319 --> 00:32:01,279 right now who started only fans the day they turn eighteen, and they're getting 415 00:32:01,279 --> 00:32:05,079 some money and they're getting some attention, and they think that's great, and 416 00:32:05,119 --> 00:32:07,880 it's like they're never thinking about what they're gonna do with the second half of 417 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:12,440 their life. So that's a really double edged sort. It might make it 418 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:15,640 seem like we have this huge advantage, and we kind of do, but 419 00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:20,079 only for a very limited amount of time, and then once that's gone, 420 00:32:20,279 --> 00:32:24,000 life can be very hard. Especially I think it's worse the more attractive you 421 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:29,640 are. If you're like a super hot ten aging is, it's going to 422 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:35,920 be very hard for you because you have so much less incentive to sacrifice yourself 423 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:40,480 for a family, to live that ascetic marriage life, or be a mother 424 00:32:40,559 --> 00:32:44,960 or things like that, because you can really capitalize on your looks and your 425 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,440 attractiveness and get almost anything you want, and then you hit forty or fifty, 426 00:32:49,599 --> 00:32:53,279 and woe. All of a sudden, the world feels cruel and mean 427 00:32:53,519 --> 00:32:57,640 and you don't understand why it's happening. There was a really good video by 428 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,640 a guy named Better Bachelor where he viewed this video a woman made and she 429 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:06,920 was in this exact circumstance where she was very attractive, and she was like 430 00:33:07,079 --> 00:33:09,000 crying the whole video. She was crying and she was trying not too, 431 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:13,240 but she couldn't help herself. And she was like, I'm almost forty. 432 00:33:13,319 --> 00:33:15,079 All my friends are married, and men just aren't coming like they used to. 433 00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:17,759 They're just not flocking to me like they used to. And I used 434 00:33:17,799 --> 00:33:22,319 to be able to have a different boyfriend every couple months and they would take 435 00:33:22,359 --> 00:33:25,079 me on expensive vacations, and you know, I just got used to this, 436 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:30,720 and now suddenly it's like nobody cares about me as a person. And 437 00:33:30,839 --> 00:33:32,440 now that I'm older, am I just going to be thrown away? And 438 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:36,960 it was actually like super heartbreaking, and the guy wasn't even mean. He 439 00:33:37,039 --> 00:33:39,680 was like, this is really sad to watch this woman go through this. 440 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:45,559 And men bear some responsibility in that too. Patrick from Church of the Eternal 441 00:33:45,559 --> 00:33:51,319 Logos talks about this sometimes that men do have a responsibility not to do that 442 00:33:51,359 --> 00:33:55,400 to women, not to just like shower them with whatever because we want them 443 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:59,119 when they're young and then treat them like garbage when they get older. That's 444 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,039 a really cruel thing to do. So I think on that aspect of life, 445 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:06,960 women you could say have the advantage, right, it's easier for them, 446 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,639 But then later in life men have opposite. When men are young, 447 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:15,000 they have to prove themselves. Nobody cares if a nineteen year old man's going 448 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,800 through something hard. It's like he has to prove his worth. He has 449 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:22,280 to produce something, He has to provide value. He has to prove that 450 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:28,079 he can be competent, that he can do something of value and make money, 451 00:34:28,119 --> 00:34:30,320 and things like that. Nobody cares. Like, even if you're a 452 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:35,519 good looking guy at nineteen, the world isn't gonna like coddle you at all. 453 00:34:36,079 --> 00:34:38,280 However, for men, as they get older, like by the time 454 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:43,360 men get to like thirty five or forty, they've probably accumulated a lot of 455 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,719 resources. They've probably built up some wealth, their earning power is much better 456 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:52,639 than it was when they were eighteen or twenty, and they have the kind 457 00:34:52,679 --> 00:34:55,360 of an ocean of women to choose from at that point. Because women tend 458 00:34:55,400 --> 00:35:01,599 to seek out like resources and stability from a man, so they're attracted to 459 00:35:01,639 --> 00:35:06,760 that. Men tend to age pretty well and look pretty good even into their 460 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,239 forties and fifties. So at that point, I think the advantage switches to 461 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:15,880 the men, where the men can kind of choose. And nowadays there's already 462 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:19,639 a lot of divorced women, you know, who are like thirty and kind 463 00:35:19,639 --> 00:35:24,119 of desperate for a good, good, solid guy with resources, and they 464 00:35:24,119 --> 00:35:28,320 have the money to deal with the hard things in life, and they've matured 465 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,760 and they've gotten pretty tough. So I think in their later years things are 466 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:36,840 easier for men. So I don't think anyone gender has like an obvious lifelong 467 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,159 advantage. I think it's different phases, and I don't think we think about 468 00:35:40,199 --> 00:35:45,280 that enough that there's phases of life for both sexes and they're different. That's 469 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,880 really interesting that you put it that way. And then another thing they'll talk 470 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:55,079 about is the patriarchy is the oppressive thing. And I don't know if we've 471 00:35:55,079 --> 00:36:01,000 put it this way before, but like, whoever is in charge is screwing 472 00:36:01,119 --> 00:36:05,679 up, right, So if it's the patriarchy, if that's what you want 473 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:09,960 to call it, then yes, that needs to be overhauled and great reset 474 00:36:10,039 --> 00:36:15,119 or whatever, you know, like everyone's hearts needs to be repentive. And 475 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:25,119 so I don't want to put out anyone's grievance because they're waking up to things, 476 00:36:25,159 --> 00:36:30,960 but they just don't know how to identify the perpetrator. That makes sense. 477 00:36:31,119 --> 00:36:36,159 Yeah, yeah, and I think, well, I think that, 478 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:43,000 Uh, I don't think we have a patriarchy now, but it's like it's 479 00:36:43,039 --> 00:36:45,719 kind of like who's in charge are the most narcissistic people. We have a 480 00:36:46,639 --> 00:36:52,679 system where it's like the more ruthless, vindictive and narcissistic you are, you're 481 00:36:52,679 --> 00:36:54,679 going to be more powerful. I mean, look at people like Andrew Tate. 482 00:36:54,880 --> 00:37:00,320 You know, that's why will always do better in business than when because 483 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:05,239 they have that instinct because there's estrogen and testosterone and estrogen cares and they care 484 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,239 about your feelings. They don't want to hurt people, and like they want 485 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:10,280 to nurture them and they don't want to get hurt themselves. And testosterone just 486 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:15,840 like breaks through that wall. You need both. Yeah, but yeah, 487 00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:21,960 and I think that there's like, so I think that stoic masculine men, 488 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:27,039 if they're Christian moral men or like some of the best human beings on planet 489 00:37:27,079 --> 00:37:30,320 Earth. I can think of several of them that I know. They're the 490 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,400 kind of guys that will run into a burning building to save everybody else, 491 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:39,239 and their masculine testosterone stoic self is what allows them to do that, and 492 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:44,840 we need those guys. But then you meet the men who that turns them 493 00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:49,480 into predators, like dangerous predators. And I think with women, it's like 494 00:37:49,679 --> 00:37:57,079 them that instinct that allows us to be like loving and charming and kids like 495 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,760 us, and animals like us, and men like us. We're very likable, 496 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:07,159 we're very agreeable. There are narcissistic, psychopathic women who use that as 497 00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,920 like a facade, right, they seem so charming and sweet, but secretly 498 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:15,360 they're like strangling infants in the ICU or something you've seen everybody's seen, like 499 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:21,039 some crazy story about a horribly evil woman and everybody thought she was like they 500 00:38:21,079 --> 00:38:23,679 always present as like super sweet, you know what I mean. So I 501 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:30,400 think both sexes can have the toxic aspect and then they can have the embodiment 502 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:35,119 of the best aspect. And I think a lot of that comes from just 503 00:38:35,199 --> 00:38:42,599 like the fact that we live in this materialistic, non Christian world now where 504 00:38:43,039 --> 00:38:49,719 everybody thinks that everything's just evolution and chemicals in your brain and whatever, as 505 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:53,920 long as it doesn't harm anyone, it's fine, but like, does the 506 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:58,199 stuff harm people? You and I would say it does, but other people 507 00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:02,800 would just you know, the consequential lists and the utilitarians don't think of morality 508 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:06,559 that way, and so you do end up with a society where it's like 509 00:39:06,599 --> 00:39:13,079 the most ruthless people do the best, So we incentivize that behavior. So 510 00:39:14,519 --> 00:39:21,079 that you were talking about girls in their prime, and especially hot girls tens 511 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:29,519 or you know that level. Yeah, and it's like, are they crazy 512 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:34,960 or are they crazy because a lot of crazy things happen to them because of 513 00:39:35,119 --> 00:39:39,239 their looks. Because a pretty girl is going to see a different side of 514 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:45,280 men that not everybody has seen. She's going to see married guys making eyes 515 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,039 at her, she's going to see community guys flirting with her. She's gonna 516 00:39:47,079 --> 00:39:55,239 see the worst yeah of men. Yeah right, and she's just more of 517 00:39:55,280 --> 00:40:00,400 a target for abuse because of how she looks. Yeah, that's true, 518 00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,320 And I think, like that's why I was saying, I don't necessarily think 519 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:07,880 that's an advantage. It might appear that way if you're if you're one of 520 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,840 the angry, terminally online in cell guys, which I'm not even slurring you 521 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:15,119 guys, I understand a lot about why in cells or in cells and what 522 00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:19,679 that's like, and it's not cool, but it does tend to like turn 523 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:24,000 people extremely nihilistic and nasty sometimes, and so they'll look at hot women and 524 00:40:24,039 --> 00:40:27,559 be like, oh, it must be nice to be her. It's like, 525 00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:30,280 eh, not really. In fact, there's lots of times where I've 526 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:37,159 been really thankful that, especially girls growing up in this age right now. 527 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:42,119 My oldest is very, very pretty, and I had lots of conversations with 528 00:40:42,119 --> 00:40:45,719 her about that as she was growing up, because I think some of these 529 00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:51,440 pretty girls with Instagram and everything else, they learn that their self worth is 530 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:55,880 in their looks. And then if you gain fifteen pounds or you know, 531 00:40:55,920 --> 00:41:00,559 you get a little bit older and start to get wrinkles or all the things 532 00:41:00,559 --> 00:41:02,400 that happen to all of us. You have children and your body looks different, 533 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:07,639 it's like you don't handle it well and it's really hard on you. 534 00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:12,559 And I'm super thankful that growing up, I wasn't like an ugly kid, 535 00:41:12,599 --> 00:41:15,360 but I wasn't like the hot girl in school, and so my identity was 536 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:21,400 formed around like my intelligence or my talents or the way that I treated people, 537 00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:25,360 or you know my character, and I'm actually super thankful for that, 538 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:31,519 because I think that if you're a girl who's super attractive, it skews your 539 00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:36,480 sense of self and you think that you are your body or you think that 540 00:41:36,559 --> 00:41:40,360 you are your looks, and you do get trained by the people around you, 541 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:45,880 by men around you that that's what you're for well, and for men 542 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:52,760 that approach you and pursue you are going to be valuing that yes more. 543 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:59,360 And so what happens when you get old is gonna like you anymore. It's 544 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,079 terrible if you look at a lot of like the old Hollywood movie stars like 545 00:42:02,159 --> 00:42:08,079 Hetty Lamar or Elizabeth Taylor, the ones that were called like the world's most 546 00:42:08,119 --> 00:42:12,599 beautiful woman, They've all been married like six times, eight times, nine 547 00:42:12,639 --> 00:42:16,880 times, like Hetty Lamar became a total recluse and didn't even see people in 548 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:22,000 person for like the last couple decades of her life, and it kind of 549 00:42:22,079 --> 00:42:25,320 drove these women crazy because especially at that time and like the Golden era of 550 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:29,960 Hollywood, there was only a handful of these women and they were known around 551 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,480 the world. So it was like what we're talking about with Instagram, but 552 00:42:32,559 --> 00:42:38,159 like times a million, where it's like every man you meet only sees you 553 00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:43,400 as that there's nothing else to you. So I think it makes it like 554 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:49,280 impossible to not go kind of crazy and have tons of issues. Yeah, 555 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:52,239 And I think girls do that because that's just reinforced, like it's their way 556 00:42:52,280 --> 00:43:00,159 of getting love and attention. Yeah, And so Instagram is just disgusting. 557 00:43:04,159 --> 00:43:09,639 So we have to be mature about the reasons why people post their naked selves. 558 00:43:10,079 --> 00:43:15,320 Yeah, I have to look beyond that, like it's it's a cry 559 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:19,920 for help, it's an insecurity, it's this is all I have to offer, 560 00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,599 yeah, right, because I probably think of anything else and no one 561 00:43:23,639 --> 00:43:30,800 has fostered that in me to um offer the world on my page that shows 562 00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:35,719 you my personality except my body, right exactly. It's like nobody cares about 563 00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,760 that. That's not going to get you likes and sponsorships and paid subscriptions and 564 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:44,800 all that stuff. And it's like my older daughters too, Like the the 565 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:51,559 amount of attention that these girls pay to their every little thing about their physical 566 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:55,320 self is mind blowing to me. Like I was thinking about it and I'm 567 00:43:55,360 --> 00:44:00,920 like, I don't remember ever caring what my butt looked like in eighth grade, 568 00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:05,039 ever, like we cared about like, oh my gosh, she has 569 00:44:05,079 --> 00:44:07,679 the cool new, like I'm going to show my aide here, you guys. 570 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:12,639 She has the cool new like La Gear tennis shoes or those awesome stonewashed 571 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,039 jeans that I want, or she's wearing the cool new like brand of sweater 572 00:44:16,119 --> 00:44:19,639 that everybody wants, or like I would look at other girls and be like, 573 00:44:19,679 --> 00:44:22,719 oh my god, why can't I get my bangs that tall? You 574 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:28,519 know? Oh? Kay, yeah, But there was never this insane emphasis 575 00:44:28,599 --> 00:44:31,079 that girls have networks. Like there's girls who are in seventh, eighth, 576 00:44:31,159 --> 00:44:36,079 ninth grade going, well, I have to start an only fans because how 577 00:44:36,119 --> 00:44:38,480 else am I going to pay for my butt injections and my lip fillers and 578 00:44:38,559 --> 00:44:43,639 my fake eyelashes. And they think you have to do that. They think 579 00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:47,199 you have to be that way. And this goes back to something else I 580 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:52,360 like to talk about when it comes to feminism, which is breaking the social 581 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:57,119 contract. So when we had the sexual Revolution, we had all these women 582 00:44:57,239 --> 00:45:00,760 who decided they're gonna do free love, and that goes back pretty far. 583 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,639 That goes back to like the eighteen hundreds of the free love stuff, where 584 00:45:04,639 --> 00:45:07,280 it was like you don't need marriage, and you know, again it comes 585 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,920 out of this Marxist ethos, and so we can all just love each other 586 00:45:10,039 --> 00:45:14,400 and sex is just sex. I'm loving you, he's loving her, she's 587 00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,079 loving him. It's all good, right. And then we had the big 588 00:45:16,159 --> 00:45:23,000 hippie free love thing where it used to be all the girls had like an 589 00:45:23,119 --> 00:45:29,920 unspoken code of you don't do that until marriage. Yes, we tended to 590 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:36,239 kind of shame the girls who did tramp around unmarried. Yeah, because you're 591 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,719 like saturating the market if we're looking at something like supplying to man. If 592 00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:45,039 you put out that kind of terms, like you are cheapening everything. Yes. 593 00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:50,519 So it's like, why would the guys hold out for the girl who's 594 00:45:50,519 --> 00:45:52,960 holding out? Like why would a guy wait? And I hear this from 595 00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:57,159 men all the time now. They're like younger men who still have a lot 596 00:45:57,159 --> 00:46:00,199 of options, especially if they're attractive. They're like, why would I date 597 00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:01,920 some girl who's not going to sleep with me for two years and make me 598 00:46:02,039 --> 00:46:06,239 date her for two years until we get married. That's stupid. There's one 599 00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,679 hundred other girls who will sleep with me on the first date, and you 600 00:46:09,679 --> 00:46:13,159 can say that's terrible, and they shouldn't say that, but it's kind of 601 00:46:13,159 --> 00:46:15,320 true. It's like, if women are just going to give that up, 602 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:22,079 it really did change for the rest of us. There's no leverage anymore to 603 00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:25,920 like expect marriage, right, So if you are a girl who wants that, 604 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:31,239 it's very hard because you're like, well, I expect a good courtship 605 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:36,280 and a lot of conversation about our expectations, our values, what kind of 606 00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:37,519 life we want to live, all these things so we can figure out if 607 00:46:37,519 --> 00:46:40,280 we can get married. And guys are just like, yeah, it's way 608 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:44,880 easier just to swipe on the Tinder and find somebody for one night. You 609 00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:49,119 know, yeah, their attitudes if you want a hundred other girls will yeah, 610 00:46:49,519 --> 00:46:52,920 click and they're right. The thing that sucks is that they're right. 611 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:55,159 And this is one of the I feel like it's one of the big mistakes 612 00:46:55,199 --> 00:47:01,320 we made that threw off everything for everyone. And it kind of inspire the 613 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:07,119 men to be more competitive sexually, because men always have competed to a certain 614 00:47:07,119 --> 00:47:10,119 degree for wives, right, But when you have dudes who are like, 615 00:47:10,599 --> 00:47:15,280 well, I'm gonna try to school like these awful pickup artists. Guys. 616 00:47:15,679 --> 00:47:17,920 There's one that claims he's been with fifteen hundred women. I will tell you 617 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,159 right now, no you haven't. I don't believe that for one second, 618 00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:27,119 based on multiple things. No you haven't. Let me pause you right there, 619 00:47:27,119 --> 00:47:35,239 because him saying that is just so telling that he's hurting inside. Yeah, 620 00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:39,719 I mean, isn't it obvious if you're promiscuous, it's because you have 621 00:47:40,199 --> 00:47:46,760 like an internal problem, especially if it's not a degree so like virile and 622 00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:52,840 handsome and like charming and women throw that it's not that you know who damaged 623 00:47:52,920 --> 00:48:00,800 people coping? Yes, So Andy has had multiple conversations with these guys because 624 00:48:00,880 --> 00:48:06,280 he's trying to, like, in his own way, how he debates prove 625 00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,559 that to them. Yeah, He's like, you can sit here and tell 626 00:48:08,599 --> 00:48:13,519 me all night long that this is based and awesome and cool and that it 627 00:48:13,559 --> 00:48:16,639 doesn't affect you. Right, And the girl told me it's fine. All 628 00:48:16,639 --> 00:48:20,039 these girls are totally fine with it. What's wrong with it? They're fine 629 00:48:20,039 --> 00:48:22,440 with it. I'm fun and we're all having fun. What's the big deal? 630 00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,679 Why are you such a square? And Andy's like trying to get into 631 00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:29,360 all the reasons why it's not good and why it's not cool and why it's 632 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,559 not as awesome as you think it is, And why are you teaching people 633 00:48:31,639 --> 00:48:37,719 this and all that stuff with them? And first of all, I think 634 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,920 most of them why, I really do, because it's like, if you 635 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:45,599 think about the numbers, it's like, you'd have to have five girls a 636 00:48:45,639 --> 00:48:52,000 week over twenty years, every single week. And I'm looking at you and 637 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,000 I'm listening to you, and I just have my doubts. But it's like, 638 00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:58,599 so, where does this market come from? That these guys have huge 639 00:48:58,639 --> 00:49:02,800 YouTube channels and coaching businesses where they're teaching other guys to do this. Yeah, 640 00:49:04,119 --> 00:49:07,079 and this would not be possible if we still had kind of this unspoken 641 00:49:07,119 --> 00:49:12,320 contract among women that like, hey, we all want a guy to commit 642 00:49:12,559 --> 00:49:15,800 and make a family with us. Therefore, it's not good for any of 643 00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:19,480 us if we are all just like giving away sex for free, right, 644 00:49:20,599 --> 00:49:24,280 And you mentioned getting lip fillers and butt fillers and all of that stuff. 645 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:29,719 So a lot of times when I'm scrolling, I'll see somebody pop up and 646 00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:34,760 they'll be like, men don't like it when you're loud, Men don't like 647 00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:38,000 it when you blah blah blah. And I'm just like, save it, 648 00:49:38,079 --> 00:49:45,320 okay, because if you live your life as a woman for what men like. 649 00:49:45,519 --> 00:49:50,119 You're gonna have a bad time. Okay, Yeah, you're gonna have 650 00:49:50,159 --> 00:49:52,880 a really bad time, and you're gonna screw up your body really bad because 651 00:49:53,519 --> 00:50:02,800 honestly, like, men will How do I put this gently? I don't 652 00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:06,320 think you have to put it gently. I think you can just say it 653 00:50:07,199 --> 00:50:13,719 like, they'll stick it in a chicken sandwich. That's true. Okay, 654 00:50:14,079 --> 00:50:20,679 so true if it fancies them. So do they slave your life based on 655 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,880 making decisions for what men like because you're gonna look like a cartoon? Yes, 656 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:29,480 and they do. They Have you seen some of these girls with the 657 00:50:29,559 --> 00:50:34,199 hip injections that just look absurd. It looks like they have on pants that 658 00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:38,840 are filled with air or something. It's like and the eyelashes fake eyelashes, 659 00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:45,000 and the lips are out of control. Yeah, it looks absurd, And 660 00:50:45,039 --> 00:50:50,039 it's like That's the other thing is I don't think it's really the men driving 661 00:50:50,079 --> 00:50:52,760 this. Maybe maybe with the Pamela Anderson fake boobs and things like that from 662 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,920 the nineties, there was some of that, but now I think a lot 663 00:50:55,960 --> 00:51:00,039 of it is women competing with women for attention on the inner Yeah. So 664 00:51:00,079 --> 00:51:04,840 it's like whoever has the craziest You know, if you can get your waist 665 00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:08,119 this big and your hips this big, and like your butt sticks out so 666 00:51:08,159 --> 00:51:12,960 far behind you that it literally looks like you've got two giant balloons in the 667 00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:15,920 back of your pants. It looks ridiculous. Well, this is so interesting. 668 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:20,039 It back in the Victorian era, the same look was in but you 669 00:51:20,119 --> 00:51:24,639 created it with like a bustle or something, didn't actually modify your body, 670 00:51:24,639 --> 00:51:29,440 which I think is like sliding into transhumanism. It is. I think it 671 00:51:29,599 --> 00:51:35,519 absolutely is, and I think I don't think it's accidental that like people who 672 00:51:35,559 --> 00:51:39,280 we know are in that scene, like the Kardashians are doing that. Elon 673 00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:45,320 Musk's girlfriend is whatever she is, partner baby Mama Grimes. She's had like 674 00:51:45,599 --> 00:51:49,519 weird facial surgery. Now she's trying to look like an elf. I think 675 00:51:49,519 --> 00:51:52,679 she's giving the ears. Yeah, oh no, I heard she was talking 676 00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:55,480 about that. I'm like, you're a musician, why would you modify your 677 00:51:57,039 --> 00:51:59,599 She did a bunch of stuff. I don't know if she did the ears 678 00:51:59,679 --> 00:52:02,800 yet, but she did something with her eyelids and some kind of weird lift. 679 00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:07,880 And it's all part of this process of trying her, trying to transform 680 00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:16,360 herself into this otherworldly creature. Madonna can't recognize her now. Cardi B looks 681 00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:21,679 totally different than she did five years ago, all these girls, the Chloe 682 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,559 Kardashian, Yeah, you would never know it's the same person as five years 683 00:52:24,559 --> 00:52:29,079 ago. And we're all just going to pretend this is normal. I guess, 684 00:52:30,079 --> 00:52:32,559 so it's quite weird. Don't do it because that's what men like do 685 00:52:32,679 --> 00:52:37,480 things, because that's what God wants you to do. You're not trying to 686 00:52:37,559 --> 00:52:42,719 please all met And that's another thing is so freeing when you grow up you 687 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:49,280 don't feel the need to be universally sexually appealing. Yes, right, it 688 00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,440 was. I was telling Andy about this over the summer that one of the 689 00:52:52,559 --> 00:52:58,719 cool things about getting older as a woman is now like I can have a 690 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,960 discussion with a man who's half my age and they just think of me like 691 00:53:02,119 --> 00:53:07,960 a nice lady who's telling them about whatever. It's There is no more like 692 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:10,159 are we gonna are we gonna do this later? You know? Yeah? 693 00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:14,320 Yeah, yeah, some of that goes away where you don't. You're just 694 00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:19,199 not identified by that all the time. You're not just like and that's what 695 00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:22,159 it is when you're in your twenties, every interaction with a man is usually 696 00:53:22,199 --> 00:53:28,039 that for the most part, and you just so until the girls talk a 697 00:53:28,039 --> 00:53:32,239 lot about we're not dressing for the male gaze anymore. We're not looking at 698 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:39,079 ourselves through the eyes of how a men would perceive us. We're dressing to 699 00:53:39,159 --> 00:53:43,280 where things that we would like, and it doesn't matter if we look hot 700 00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,440 or if we look sexy, or like you said, I wonder what my 701 00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:49,280 butt looks like in this. Not that I don't want to, like look 702 00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:53,159 nice for my husband, sure, but I'm not trying to attract every person 703 00:53:53,199 --> 00:53:58,079 because that's just too much, that's too stressful. I don't want to reject 704 00:53:58,159 --> 00:54:00,480 every person. I don't even want them to think about me like that. 705 00:54:00,559 --> 00:54:02,960 I Do'm not thinking about them like that. I'd rather just be platonic. 706 00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,000 Yeah, it's so nice to just talk to people as people and not have 707 00:54:07,159 --> 00:54:12,480 that be part of the equation. It's one of the nicer things I think 708 00:54:12,519 --> 00:54:15,679 about getting a little older is you don't have to deal with that. But 709 00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:19,480 I think what you just said is you should be pleasing God. I think 710 00:54:19,519 --> 00:54:22,960 that's the heart of the problem of all of this. I just made a 711 00:54:22,039 --> 00:54:30,559 threat about it on Twitter today about how we especially in America because it's a 712 00:54:30,639 --> 00:54:35,840 very Protestant country, still, we Protestants just took Mary. They took the 713 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:38,199 Theatokos, the queen of Heaven, the Mother of God, and just chucked 714 00:54:38,199 --> 00:54:42,480 her out the window and got rid of her. And I don't think it's 715 00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:46,000 a coincidence that right after that is when all the sexual liberation and the feminism 716 00:54:46,039 --> 00:54:50,960 and all this kind of stuff started, we no longer have her as like 717 00:54:51,039 --> 00:54:55,199 the ultimate example of like what real womanhood is. So the only thing left 718 00:54:55,199 --> 00:54:59,559 to emulate is men, the only you know. It's like, well, 719 00:54:59,559 --> 00:55:00,440 I want to be powerful, so I have to be like a man, 720 00:55:00,559 --> 00:55:02,719 or I want to be influential, so I have to be like a man. 721 00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:06,199 I want to be free, so I have to be like a man. 722 00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:12,320 It's like we don't have her as an example, and we're not acting 723 00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:15,519 like she did to please God. I mean, she was this bastion of 724 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:23,280 humility and self sacrifice and kindness and gentleness and caring and like, imagine what 725 00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:28,039 kind of woman you would be if you had God in your womb for nine 726 00:55:28,079 --> 00:55:31,719 months. She's like the ultimate example. And now we're looking at Kim Kardashian 727 00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:36,840 or somebody and holding or her up, or even like a Taylor Swift or 728 00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:42,559 pick whoever you want. But we don't have even like you know, Hillary 729 00:55:42,599 --> 00:55:46,880 Clinton or Sarah Palin ray Is female politicians. These are not and shouldn't be 730 00:55:47,199 --> 00:55:52,519 like the standard for what womanhood is. We shouldn't be pushing women that you 731 00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:54,239 have to be a career woman to be worth a crap, or you have 732 00:55:54,280 --> 00:56:00,320 to be sexy to be worth something, or you like all these other weird 733 00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:04,239 standards are never going to measure up to that. And I think that if 734 00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:08,039 we could bring that back, it would help a lot. I think the 735 00:56:08,079 --> 00:56:14,360 inverse of that female role model is like men don't have a lot of good 736 00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:21,440 male role models, and they're taught that masculinity is just not femininity, right. 737 00:56:21,639 --> 00:56:24,159 They're taught like, don't act like a girl, don't cry because that's 738 00:56:24,199 --> 00:56:28,519 like what girls do. Like, they're just taught not to be women. 739 00:56:29,079 --> 00:56:35,920 Yeah, So in that way, they denigrade womanhood and femininity because they're trying 740 00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,239 to be a man, which they see as the opposite of that. So 741 00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:43,280 it's just like a weird mind game that guys that don't have good role models 742 00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:46,760 get into. Yeah, and the other part of that is that a lot 743 00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:52,880 of guys don't even have very many men in their life at all. Yeah, 744 00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:55,000 they're like raised by single moms. They go to school and their teachers 745 00:56:55,000 --> 00:57:00,880 a woman. They go to daycare and it's daycare lady and stuff like that, 746 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:05,000 and so it's like they're in this weird space where they're kind of expected 747 00:57:05,039 --> 00:57:07,760 to act like a girl, but also never act like a girl, like 748 00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,239 don't be a fag, right, probably shouldn't say that word on YouTube, 749 00:57:10,519 --> 00:57:15,280 but don't be that, but also like, don't be toxic masculinity. And 750 00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:19,800 you can't rough house with other boys on the playground or you're gonna get kicked 751 00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,599 out of school. And it's like everything is so screwed up now, and 752 00:57:22,639 --> 00:57:28,960 I think this is what kicked the door open for the trans stuff, because 753 00:57:29,239 --> 00:57:32,199 now it's like, well, what really, I mean, people are making 754 00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:37,039 entire documentaries about what is a woman? What is a woman? What is 755 00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:42,639 a man? It's anybody can be either one, and we just it's whatever 756 00:57:42,679 --> 00:57:45,599 you identify as and we don't even know is it fashion, is it biology, 757 00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:51,880 is it certain characteristics? Nobody knows anymore? Does it even matter? 758 00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,199 You can just be whatever. You can just be a furry, you can 759 00:57:53,239 --> 00:58:00,719 be an elf, you can be whatever you want. And these how could 760 00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:06,159 we expect society to thrive under any of these conditions? Like how do we 761 00:58:06,239 --> 00:58:10,320 think it's not going to get grossly like oh, distorted and horrific. I 762 00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:15,159 mean this is all part of depopulation, Yeah, is getting men and women 763 00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:22,119 separate, yep, and getting women not even interested in marriage anymore when they're 764 00:58:22,119 --> 00:58:24,039 the ones who would usually always like kind of push for that, like where 765 00:58:24,079 --> 00:58:31,519 is this relationship going? That's what typically the woman would be like, yeah, 766 00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:37,440 asking, And now they're done, they don't want it anymore. It's 767 00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:44,559 over, like romance is dead. So like wrapping up this question of who 768 00:58:44,639 --> 00:58:47,679 has it worse, men or women, I would say that, like you 769 00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:53,079 said, it's equal, because I mean God is a just judge, right, 770 00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:59,760 and it wouldn't be fair to have one gender have like smooth sailing and 771 00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:04,119 the other one to just be like under the boot all the time. Yeah. 772 00:59:04,159 --> 00:59:07,800 So I think you know, we were equally cursed and blest according to 773 00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:13,679 what we deserved in the fall, and we both are living out those consequences. 774 00:59:14,079 --> 00:59:16,599 Yeah, and one does not have it harder than the other, which 775 00:59:16,639 --> 00:59:22,599 right, I agree, yep. But it's funny because men would be like 776 00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:24,480 if I was a woman, I would be so rich because I'd just be 777 00:59:24,559 --> 00:59:29,840 a stripper or I'd just got harge for it or whatever. And that's because 778 00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:32,639 they're thinking with their male mind, like yeah, right, they don't think 779 00:59:32,639 --> 00:59:39,000 about how damaging that is. Yeah. I had like this huge blowout fight 780 00:59:39,039 --> 00:59:44,360 with Destiny and a debate that we did about that because he tried to tell 781 00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:50,239 me that being like, how do I say it? It got it got 782 00:59:50,239 --> 00:59:53,000 gross, to be honest, the fight with him did. But I was 783 00:59:53,039 --> 00:59:57,280 basically like, you're not a woman. You don't know what it's like to 784 00:59:57,360 --> 01:00:00,440 be like penetrated by somebody, like, so don't sit here and tell me 785 01:00:00,679 --> 01:00:06,480 like anything about that. And he just insisted that, yeah, it's all 786 01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:09,159 the same. But he's like a notorious kumer. He's he thinks that, 787 01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:14,000 like I said, he's one of those people that thinks that human sexuality is 788 01:00:14,039 --> 01:00:16,960 just like clapping your hands, you know, it's just smashing stuff together. 789 01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:22,039 It means nothing. It's just slippery body parts and that's all it did, 790 01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:27,400 all it is. And to believe that you really do have to be pretty 791 01:00:27,519 --> 01:00:31,880 nihilistic and not see human beings as human beings really, you know, and 792 01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:36,800 I that's why I think it is. It's pretty transhumanist. It's this idea 793 01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:42,960 that like we're either animals or we're so above being human that like none of 794 01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:46,840 the stuff matters and we can just we can just do these things and it's 795 01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:51,840 not going to have this huge effect. But everything you do matters, especially 796 01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:57,000 once you get married, everything you do matters. Yeah, everything you do 797 01:00:57,159 --> 01:01:00,599 affects the other person. And that's why it is in a sea path and 798 01:01:00,719 --> 01:01:06,360 you have to the only way to really have like a good marriage. People 799 01:01:06,519 --> 01:01:08,119 ask me and Andy the Sultan will be like, what's the secret to a 800 01:01:08,159 --> 01:01:13,559 good marriage? And it's like we started to have a good marriage when we 801 01:01:13,639 --> 01:01:19,760 both genuinely cared more about taking care of the other person, like we really 802 01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:22,280 I fully did that for him and he fully did that for me. And 803 01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:27,960 that's really hard. That's the other thing is like good marriages are hard. 804 01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:30,039 Like you said, it's either the pain of regret or the pain of discipline. 805 01:01:30,719 --> 01:01:34,119 You can pick which kind of hard life is going to be hard. 806 01:01:34,559 --> 01:01:38,920 There's no like easy path. All easy paths just lead to like nihilism, 807 01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:43,039 and depression and suicide and stuff like that. Anyway, So it's like, 808 01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:46,519 do you want to be lonely and just have meaningless hookups and end up dying 809 01:01:46,599 --> 01:01:53,079 like alone, or like having this empty life of meaningless interactions but never have 810 01:01:53,239 --> 01:01:58,480 to like sacrifice anything or give anything, or do you want to have to 811 01:01:58,519 --> 01:02:02,559 give completely of yourself and really sacrifice yourself for the other and become one with 812 01:02:02,599 --> 01:02:07,000 that person, which is hard and it's giving up a lot. But then 813 01:02:07,079 --> 01:02:09,639 if you do that and the other person does it, what you get out 814 01:02:09,639 --> 01:02:15,079 of it is like more than you ever. You can't explain to somebody what 815 01:02:15,199 --> 01:02:19,480 that's really like. When you have that with someone else, it's like it 816 01:02:19,519 --> 01:02:24,960 really is a miracle. It's why it's a sacrament of the church. Have 817 01:02:25,119 --> 01:02:31,280 you heard of Tom Brady and Chisels break up? Yes, So here's an 818 01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:38,639 example of two people that have everything you could ever want materially. She's beautiful, 819 01:02:39,039 --> 01:02:45,679 he's good looking. She's a supermodel. He's a successful NFL player. 820 01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:50,880 They've got more money than they could ever spend, they've got beautiful children. 821 01:02:51,559 --> 01:03:00,239 But now they're getting divorced because why because well, the story is that he 822 01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:06,440 had promised to retire from football for many years and he never did, and 823 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:09,039 so she was just like waiting, waiting, waiting to have a family or 824 01:03:09,079 --> 01:03:15,159 to have him be part of the family. Yeah, and he told her 825 01:03:15,199 --> 01:03:17,559 he quit, He kind of semi quit, and then he jumped right back 826 01:03:17,559 --> 01:03:21,119 into it and she was like, no, you disappointed me for the last 827 01:03:21,119 --> 01:03:27,719 time. I'm out right. So it's like, if these people can't make 828 01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:31,360 it work, then what is the hope for anybody else. But it's like, 829 01:03:37,039 --> 01:03:43,400 well, first let's start with Tom. I mean, he said he 830 01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:46,280 would do the thing. He said he would retire, because she was saying, 831 01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:51,079 he's never around on Thanksgiving, he's never on Christmas Birthday. He's missed 832 01:03:51,079 --> 01:03:54,320 pretty much our entire life for the past however, many years because of football. 833 01:03:55,719 --> 01:03:59,880 And finally there was some kind of light at the end of the time 834 01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:06,039 and he just totally renigged. And I'm thinking a lot of guys were like, 835 01:04:06,079 --> 01:04:09,119 well, he loves it, he should be able to do what he 836 01:04:09,159 --> 01:04:11,960 loves and she should stand by him, and blah blah blah. But I'm 837 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:19,840 like, it's kind of irresponsible of him. It's very selfish. I think 838 01:04:20,679 --> 01:04:28,440 of him and I'll get itself. But he's doing this for him self only, 839 01:04:29,599 --> 01:04:31,639 not his family. If he was making the decisions to keep his family 840 01:04:31,639 --> 01:04:36,719 together, he would be retiring or cutting back or coaching or doing something where 841 01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:41,400 he can, you know, like make his wife happy. And it reminded 842 01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:45,360 me of this story that this priest hold. And he was like, there 843 01:04:45,400 --> 01:04:47,679 was a young couple, a young priest and his matushka, and they were 844 01:04:47,719 --> 01:04:53,679 building a church and they just got married, and the wife would be like, 845 01:04:54,639 --> 01:04:57,639 can you come home for dinner at a certain time every day? And 846 01:04:57,639 --> 01:05:00,400 he'd be like, yeah, I'll come home for dinner and he never and 847 01:05:00,440 --> 01:05:02,679 he like, I was working late building the church. I was trying doing 848 01:05:02,719 --> 01:05:08,000 the Lord's work right. And she would get so mad at him and like 849 01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:12,239 like it was a problem. So he went to his spiritual father. He's 850 01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:14,920 like, my wife is crazy. She doesn't want me to in God's work. 851 01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,400 And the guy's like, that's not true, because you're supposed to be 852 01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:21,880 taking care of her. And he's like, why are you building. Why 853 01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:27,000 are you putting so much time over time into building the church. He's like, 854 01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,519 well, because I want to get it done fast so everyone thinks that 855 01:05:29,559 --> 01:05:32,239 I'm a good priest. He's like, so you're doing it for you. 856 01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:35,280 You should have been home for dinner when your wife asked you to and let 857 01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:41,280 the church go on its own time, because your first responsibility is to her. 858 01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:44,519 Right, even though you were doing the Lord's work, you were doing 859 01:05:44,599 --> 01:05:46,679 everything good and perfect, you were self sacrificing blah blah blah. You were 860 01:05:46,719 --> 01:05:51,599 sacrificing her, which is not like the thing that you were called to do 861 01:05:51,639 --> 01:05:57,000 by being a husband. Yeah right, Yeah. What do you think about 862 01:05:57,039 --> 01:06:01,199 Tom, Well, I don't know much about them personally, but if that's 863 01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:05,559 what's going on, I think there's a couple of things that I would say. 864 01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:11,280 One is I have I wrote like an article on my sub stack or 865 01:06:11,320 --> 01:06:15,559 maybe it was when I had Patreon about how most women think they want that 866 01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:20,400 ultra successful like alpha male stereotype. Right, they think they want the Tom 867 01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:28,039 Brady or the Brad Pitt. But guess what you don't The vast majority of 868 01:06:28,039 --> 01:06:31,719 women are not happy with that. They're not happy with it because those type 869 01:06:31,719 --> 01:06:39,199 of men are so successful because they are extremely driven, and they are probably 870 01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:45,079 going to because even if even if they're not doing football, right, if 871 01:06:45,119 --> 01:06:49,400 Tom Brady quit football tomorrow, he's still going to have probably everyone in his 872 01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:53,800 inner circle probably looks to him for advice and is going to call him and 873 01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:58,480 need his help and ask him for interviews or to do this project or to 874 01:06:58,519 --> 01:07:02,519 do that project. And those kind of men don't get to that level because 875 01:07:02,559 --> 01:07:05,559 they're good at saying no to those things. Like to a certain degree. 876 01:07:05,639 --> 01:07:09,840 There are personality types you have to deal with. So that's one thing. 877 01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:14,880 Is if you're a woman who wants a guy who's present and paying attention to 878 01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:19,000 you and spending time with the family, settle for a much more modest home, 879 01:07:20,239 --> 01:07:26,079 a lot less expensive vacations or diamonds or whatever, and get a good 880 01:07:26,159 --> 01:07:30,239 like Delta type of guy, a guy who's like a worker bee, but 881 01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:32,119 he's the kind of guy who when you say, honey, can you fix 882 01:07:32,199 --> 01:07:34,840 the fence. The fence broke, He's gonna go, sure, I'll take 883 01:07:34,880 --> 01:07:38,480 care of it this weekend. He'll just go right out there and fix it 884 01:07:38,559 --> 01:07:41,639 up. Like my dad is this kind of a personality type where the way 885 01:07:41,639 --> 01:07:45,840 he shows you he loves you is like doing things for you, building stuff 886 01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:48,360 for you, you know, spending time with you, plan out a whole 887 01:07:48,440 --> 01:07:51,719 vacation and like take the family on a vacation and stuff like that. He 888 01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:55,960 might not like say you're pretty every day and be like, oh my god, 889 01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:59,800 I'm just he's not like romantic that way, but he's very present and 890 01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:03,320 he likes to serve, you know what I mean. That kind of guy 891 01:08:03,559 --> 01:08:09,760 is usually a pretty solid husband for like most women. But most women they 892 01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:15,199 chase after these these types because they see them being successful. But you have 893 01:08:15,239 --> 01:08:17,760 to be realistic about the fact that you're probably not going to just change him 894 01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:21,119 into a guy who wants to stay home with you. It's probably not going 895 01:08:21,159 --> 01:08:27,840 to happen. It's pretty clear that his joy is the football and not the 896 01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:30,840 family. Yeah, well, those guys will have a family, but they 897 01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:35,199 probably are thinking like this is who I am and this is what my worth 898 01:08:35,319 --> 01:08:40,319 is, and I can't just stop being this to like stay home like it 899 01:08:40,399 --> 01:08:45,079 might drive them crazy and to a certain extent, like tigers don't change their 900 01:08:45,119 --> 01:08:46,640 stripes. That's the other big thing is like, don't marry a guy and 901 01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:53,000 then think that he's going to change. And I think it is a totally 902 01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:57,760 reasonable expectation for a mother and a wife to want the husband to be home 903 01:08:57,840 --> 01:09:00,239 and spend a certain amount of time with the family. But there's trade offs 904 01:09:00,239 --> 01:09:04,560 with that, you can't. I see this a lot with like even some 905 01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:08,560 of my friends where it's like they want the man to make a lot of 906 01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:11,520 money, and they want a bigger house, and they want a new car 907 01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:15,199 every other year, and they want to go to Disney this week or this 908 01:09:15,319 --> 01:09:17,680 year every single year. I have some friends are like this. They like 909 01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:21,760 expect all these things and the guy is like, okay, and so he 910 01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:25,920 puts in more hours and he's working a bunch of overtime and he's like busy 911 01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:29,760 all the time. And then they'll also complain that he doesn't give me enough 912 01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:31,520 attention, he doesn't spend enough time. It's like, well, you kind 913 01:09:31,560 --> 01:09:35,560 of gotta there. You can't. He can't be everything and he can't do 914 01:09:35,600 --> 01:09:40,800 all things. And I feel like in general, women have a little bit 915 01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:45,640 higher expectations once they're married. Of like, I want them to be romantic, 916 01:09:45,680 --> 01:09:46,880 and I want him to care about my feelings and I want him to 917 01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:51,359 listen. But I also want him to surprise me with stuff and buy me 918 01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:56,439 nice things. And I want to have a nice home and a nice neighborhood 919 01:09:56,439 --> 01:09:59,319 with a new car every couple of years, and I want to be able 920 01:09:59,359 --> 01:10:01,199 to take patients, but I also want him to be home all the time 921 01:10:01,199 --> 01:10:05,720 and home for dinner every day. It's like you have to also understand that 922 01:10:05,840 --> 01:10:10,399 he's a person and you kind of have to decide what you want. It's 923 01:10:10,399 --> 01:10:13,319 the same thing for men. Men have to deal with something else I call 924 01:10:13,399 --> 01:10:18,600 the crazy hot axis. So if your primary thing is you want that super 925 01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:23,920 hot ten girl that every man wants, and she has her pick of every 926 01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:28,239 guy, they tend to be a little more crazy, and for all the 927 01:10:28,239 --> 01:10:32,239 reasons we already talked about. Because they've already been like used a lot, 928 01:10:32,359 --> 01:10:39,520 because they've already developed an identity based around their looks, they tend to be 929 01:10:39,640 --> 01:10:44,399 less emotionally stable and things like that. So it's like, are you sure 930 01:10:44,399 --> 01:10:47,520 she needs to be twenty and like scorching hot, or would it be better 931 01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:51,720 if you want a family to choose a woman who is still attractive to you, 932 01:10:53,159 --> 01:10:56,680 But maybe she's not gonna have a modeling contract tomorrow, and maybe she 933 01:10:56,800 --> 01:11:01,079 dresses modestly and is more interested in, you know, substantive things in life 934 01:11:01,119 --> 01:11:05,279 and not gonna be like, you know, pushing up her boobs and spending 935 01:11:05,279 --> 01:11:09,520 ten hours in front of the mirror and looking super hot to be arm candy. 936 01:11:10,079 --> 01:11:13,880 You know, maybe you have to pick a woman who is good mom 937 01:11:13,880 --> 01:11:16,840 material, but she's not as exciting. She's not gonna like sleep with you, 938 01:11:16,920 --> 01:11:20,640 and you know, guys tend to like this, she's crazy in the 939 01:11:20,720 --> 01:11:25,479 sack type of girls or whatever. So it's like, well, but those 940 01:11:25,520 --> 01:11:28,479 girls, you can't just convert them to moms, right, you can't just 941 01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:31,039 like snap your fingers and marry them. This is another thing where it's like 942 01:11:31,199 --> 01:11:35,319 all the men that married Marilyn Monroe thinking she was going to become like this 943 01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:43,159 stay at home mom. Yeah, that's like they always complain that women want 944 01:11:43,159 --> 01:11:45,520 to change men after they get with them, but men are just as guilty 945 01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:48,680 of that, like thinking that they can change a girl that like just you 946 01:11:48,760 --> 01:11:53,560 said, they pick the prettiest one and hope it's gonna work out, right, 947 01:11:53,960 --> 01:11:56,880 you know, like I can change her if I take her to church 948 01:11:57,000 --> 01:12:01,000 or I can you know, then she'll be great. But um, okay, 949 01:12:01,000 --> 01:12:06,880 so Giselle is up supermodel. Yeah, she would be what you would 950 01:12:06,920 --> 01:12:14,079 call a ten yep, right, super high status like yashi, and it's 951 01:12:14,159 --> 01:12:18,960 not enough for Tom Brady to want to be around her. So there's got 952 01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:26,279 to be more substance to that. Also, she's a confirmed witch. I 953 01:12:26,319 --> 01:12:32,399 did not know that. What. I haven't followed her much. I don't 954 01:12:32,399 --> 01:12:36,279 know as much of the pop culture stuff as you do. There was I'm 955 01:12:36,359 --> 01:12:43,399 not shocked, right, which is like that could be like Bruharia or whatever. 956 01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:48,000 So there's this interview where she's talking about he wins all the super Bowls 957 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:53,000 because of all the rituals that she does, and she does her crystals and 958 01:12:53,119 --> 01:13:00,199 she does her altar and her prayers and her literal witchcraft for him to win 959 01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:04,199 the way he's been winning. I can't believe you've never heard that before. 960 01:13:04,319 --> 01:13:10,000 So basically they're in the battle of will projection. No wonder their marriage didn't 961 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:13,119 work out. Like he's trying to project his will, she's trying to project 962 01:13:13,119 --> 01:13:16,359 her will, and they're basically having like a witch fight. He looks a 963 01:13:16,359 --> 01:13:25,439 whole like sucked up and awful and like he looks sickly because they're separating and 964 01:13:25,479 --> 01:13:28,800 everyone's making fun of him, saying that she's put a hex on him because 965 01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:35,159 he's just like, you know, looks bad. A plot thickens, Yeah, 966 01:13:35,199 --> 01:13:40,439 another reason not to go after the supermodels guys. They're like, well, 967 01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:46,359 So I just debated somebody last week, a girl who is kind of 968 01:13:46,399 --> 01:13:51,520 notorious online and she was a sex worker, and she's she hadn't only fans, 969 01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:56,319 but she quit only fans only to do a Patreon that's exactly the same 970 01:13:56,319 --> 01:14:00,239 thing with nudes and everything. And she's got like the bof from tattooed between 971 01:14:00,239 --> 01:14:03,399 her boobs, and she's got satanic stuff all on one arm, like all 972 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:09,840 these satanic tattoos everywhere, and she'll take like nude, sexy pictures of herself 973 01:14:09,840 --> 01:14:15,319 covered in blood and things like that. And yeah, she was like pretty 974 01:14:15,359 --> 01:14:20,399 forward about the fact that she gets what she wants, Like look at me, 975 01:14:20,560 --> 01:14:26,479 Look what I look like. I'm gonna get what I want. So 976 01:14:27,239 --> 01:14:31,439 here's something I hear a lot. What do you think of the advice If 977 01:14:31,439 --> 01:14:38,960 he wanted to he would, you mean, like get married anything, If 978 01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:41,640 he wanted to bring me flowers, he would, if he wanted to get 979 01:14:41,640 --> 01:14:45,399 married, ask me if he wanted to be in a committed relationship he I 980 01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:50,439 mean, just because a lot of girls get like confused about whether a guy 981 01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:55,039 likes her or not or what he wants from her, And I'm like, 982 01:14:55,520 --> 01:14:58,479 it's not that confusing, Like if a guy likes you, you will know 983 01:14:59,199 --> 01:15:00,800 and if you are confused, he doesn't like you that much. Right, 984 01:15:01,479 --> 01:15:04,920 Okay, so if he wanted to he would. What do you think about 985 01:15:04,920 --> 01:15:09,920 that? Oh, that's true for sure. Like in fact, Andy says 986 01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:12,319 that now you sound like him. He says that all the time. He's 987 01:15:12,399 --> 01:15:15,880 like, because guys will be like, well, how do I date a 988 01:15:15,960 --> 01:15:19,000 girl? And like how do I even date girls? And like they act 989 01:15:19,039 --> 01:15:23,520 like and he's like, they're not mysterious like you think they are. Like 990 01:15:24,680 --> 01:15:27,880 if if they like you, you'll know, and if you like them, 991 01:15:27,920 --> 01:15:32,079 they'll know. Like that is true, and yeah, if you if you're 992 01:15:32,119 --> 01:15:38,960 having to work for like commitment, that's a very bad sign. That was 993 01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:43,960 me. That was twenty year old me going, but we're gonna get married 994 01:15:43,960 --> 01:15:47,439 eventually, right, and he's like, yeah, totally sure we are, 995 01:15:47,880 --> 01:15:53,319 you know. And it was always like me going, so how are things 996 01:15:53,359 --> 01:15:56,520 with us? And him being like, we don't need to talk about that. 997 01:15:56,560 --> 01:15:58,479 What's wrong with you? You know, like that kind of thing. 998 01:15:59,159 --> 01:16:03,239 No, that's ridiculous anybody. Now, Like my oldest daughter was dating a 999 01:16:03,279 --> 01:16:05,840 guy and she was like, I don't know, I feel like and I 1000 01:16:05,920 --> 01:16:12,239 was like, if you feel like that, no, no use wasting any 1001 01:16:12,239 --> 01:16:15,640 more time. No, okay, So I'm gonna put a star about that 1002 01:16:17,239 --> 01:16:20,560 advice. I agree with that. I mean, it's like they'll give you 1003 01:16:20,600 --> 01:16:27,159 every excuse in the book why they're not, you know, living up to 1004 01:16:27,159 --> 01:16:30,920 your standards or meeting your needs and dating or whatever. You just have to 1005 01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:33,479 say. If he wanted to, he would. If that's true, he 1006 01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:39,279 would do it. Like Andy and I tried to break up once and he 1007 01:16:39,399 --> 01:16:44,640 called me every single day that we were broken up, and then he ended 1008 01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:46,760 up coming across the country just to like be like, let's just get back 1009 01:16:46,840 --> 01:16:51,319 together, because we were both being stubborn at that point. But it was 1010 01:16:51,399 --> 01:16:56,279 like he would call me for ridiculous things that I knew he wasn't calling me 1011 01:16:56,359 --> 01:17:00,720 for, like oh, I can't find my my earbuds and I'm like, 1012 01:17:00,399 --> 01:17:02,560 how would I know where your earboats are? I don't live with you, 1013 01:17:02,600 --> 01:17:05,199 and like we're broken up, remember, and he'd be like, oh, 1014 01:17:05,279 --> 01:17:09,560 yeah, that's right, so how are you doing? You know, just 1015 01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:14,279 like stupid excuses. So and we kind of both did that, it wasn't 1016 01:17:14,319 --> 01:17:17,319 just him, but yeah, it's like it was still really obvious if he 1017 01:17:17,439 --> 01:17:20,479 wanted to, like drive the distance to take you on a date. He 1018 01:17:20,520 --> 01:17:29,239 would do it if he wanted, Like they're not watch the dude. You 1019 01:17:29,239 --> 01:17:31,920 know he's going to if he wants that truck, he's going to buy it. 1020 01:17:32,079 --> 01:17:38,159 Have you ever seen him like self sacrifice all of the things that he 1021 01:17:38,319 --> 01:17:43,560 wants for some other higher reason. No, he's not marrying you because he 1022 01:17:43,640 --> 01:17:48,399 doesn't want to, right right. Yeah, he's not that altruistic to just 1023 01:17:48,520 --> 01:17:51,640 like not do the things that he wants to do. No, And guys 1024 01:17:51,840 --> 01:17:58,720 are like so one of the big differences is like sometimes women we just want 1025 01:17:58,720 --> 01:18:02,319 to vent and like be her. And sometimes when you do that to your 1026 01:18:02,359 --> 01:18:05,760 man, he thinks you're asking him to fix something, and you might not 1027 01:18:05,840 --> 01:18:10,199 be. You might just be wanting to vent and complaint because sometimes we do 1028 01:18:10,279 --> 01:18:13,960 that. But like my dad is this way and Andy's this way where I'll 1029 01:18:13,960 --> 01:18:15,520 be venting about something that like so I should do this about it, and 1030 01:18:15,560 --> 01:18:18,600 I'm like no, I'm just I'm just frustrated, so I want to talk 1031 01:18:18,640 --> 01:18:23,199 about it. And they're like, oh, guys are more action oriented. 1032 01:18:23,520 --> 01:18:28,119 Yeah, they don't. He's not sitting there going if I play hard to 1033 01:18:28,199 --> 01:18:32,840 get then she'll want to marry me. Guys. Yeah that no, it's 1034 01:18:32,880 --> 01:18:39,039 so obdious. That's funny. Okay. So you mentioned socially awkward guys, 1035 01:18:40,199 --> 01:18:43,960 um, no emotional skills, and this is what they were talking about in 1036 01:18:44,000 --> 01:18:50,159 that Psychology Today article is like the guys do not have the tool kit to 1037 01:18:50,199 --> 01:18:56,920 relate to people nowadays. Um. And this is where redpill comes in. 1038 01:18:57,199 --> 01:19:03,960 This is where like manosphere comes in and they're like exploiting Yeah, way who 1039 01:19:05,159 --> 01:19:13,800 have not been like just socialized right right. Yeah, It's like red pill 1040 01:19:13,880 --> 01:19:16,119 is one of those things where it's you go to a formist, like you 1041 01:19:16,159 --> 01:19:23,760 open the door and you're like clo. You know, not today, okay, 1042 01:19:24,680 --> 01:19:30,720 but more and more boys like you've mentioned entertain are like latching on to 1043 01:19:31,960 --> 01:19:40,920 certitude of people with asinine opinions. Yes, And number one, I just 1044 01:19:40,920 --> 01:19:44,880 want to say, if you're bad at talking to girls, not just people 1045 01:19:44,880 --> 01:19:47,560 in general, but like girls specifically, it's because you want something from them. 1046 01:19:48,239 --> 01:19:53,000 Yes, it's because all you can think about is what you're gonna get, 1047 01:19:53,159 --> 01:19:57,199 what kind of sexual favor you're gonna get, what kind of social credit 1048 01:19:57,239 --> 01:20:00,880 you're gonna get for being seen with them, etc. And I have like 1049 01:20:01,039 --> 01:20:06,159 an anecdote that I I understand how this feels, and I can put myself 1050 01:20:06,159 --> 01:20:09,880 in a guy's shoes, and that's why I know I'm talking about. So 1051 01:20:12,439 --> 01:20:15,640 one time I moved to a new town and I didn't know anybody, and 1052 01:20:16,239 --> 01:20:21,560 we were trying to buy flowers that you smoke. Uh huh. You know, 1053 01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:26,159 we're trying to find where can you buy this? And you have to 1054 01:20:26,199 --> 01:20:30,319 know somebody. And so if you don't know anybody, you have to like 1055 01:20:31,079 --> 01:20:38,119 actively go out into the world because you have the need or this want or 1056 01:20:38,159 --> 01:20:43,159 this thing, and you have to profile people, right, You're like, 1057 01:20:43,319 --> 01:20:47,239 that guy has dreadlocks and a Bob Marley shirt, he probably has what I 1058 01:20:47,319 --> 01:20:50,840 want. Yeah, let you know. And so this is like a guy 1059 01:20:50,880 --> 01:20:55,199 looking for a pretty girl, you know, like I like the profile, 1060 01:20:55,279 --> 01:20:59,840 this is what I'm looking for. So you have to approach that person in 1061 01:21:00,159 --> 01:21:04,319 wild yeah, you know them, ask them all about their personality and all 1062 01:21:04,359 --> 01:21:08,680 in the back of your mind you're wondering when you can bring up, like, 1063 01:21:08,960 --> 01:21:13,840 hey man, do you anything for me? Yeah? Okay, And 1064 01:21:14,159 --> 01:21:15,680 I'm just thinking, this is how guys feel when they go out and all 1065 01:21:15,720 --> 01:21:19,439 they want is the sex. Because I wasn't listening to this guy, I 1066 01:21:19,439 --> 01:21:24,199 didn't care about him. I don't All the questions I'm asking him are moot 1067 01:21:24,279 --> 01:21:30,119 because they're just me trying to establish like a level of comfortable yeah, so 1068 01:21:30,159 --> 01:21:31,840 I can get what I really want. And I'm like, this is how 1069 01:21:31,880 --> 01:21:38,720 guys treat women in like society, right, That's why women are like, 1070 01:21:38,880 --> 01:21:41,039 he doesn't care about me or what I have to say or my opinions. 1071 01:21:41,039 --> 01:21:43,000 He just wants what he wants. And I'm like, yeah, because he's 1072 01:21:43,079 --> 01:21:46,880 trying to get hit but he's addicted to Yeah. So it was just like 1073 01:21:47,319 --> 01:21:54,359 a revelation for me. And this is why you're awkward is because you just 1074 01:21:54,520 --> 01:21:59,840 meet people where they are and as they come to you, you're like prowling 1075 01:22:00,640 --> 01:22:04,119 to get these wants and needs met. Does that make sense? Yeah? 1076 01:22:04,159 --> 01:22:09,560 It does well. And that's something that like Andy had a guy call in 1077 01:22:09,640 --> 01:22:14,479 once who was this way and he was just like totally black pilled and like 1078 01:22:14,520 --> 01:22:17,880 it's totally helpless. Um, you know, I'm never gonna meet anybody and 1079 01:22:17,960 --> 01:22:20,359 women or it's just too hard. The whole thing's too hard and I'm a 1080 01:22:20,359 --> 01:22:24,439 shy person is never gonna work. And Andy was like, the whole reason 1081 01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:28,920 you think it's so hard is because you're just putting so many expectations on it. 1082 01:22:28,960 --> 01:22:31,439 And he's like, women can tell that, and we can, we 1083 01:22:31,640 --> 01:22:38,439 can we can smell desperation like from miles away. And if a dude approaches 1084 01:22:38,479 --> 01:22:42,640 you with like desperation because you know that's what he wants, and he's just 1085 01:22:42,720 --> 01:22:46,000 like, can I. There's a couple different ways they'll go about it. 1086 01:22:46,119 --> 01:22:51,119 Sometimes they try to like mac on you and it's horribly in like unnatural and 1087 01:22:51,319 --> 01:22:55,640 awkward and weird, and you're just like no. And then there's the ones 1088 01:22:55,680 --> 01:23:00,159 that are like, um ma'am, if I could please um touch your lady 1089 01:23:00,199 --> 01:23:03,479 parts sometimes be very happy, you know, Like there's those kind of guys. 1090 01:23:03,920 --> 01:23:08,960 But it's like if you were just relaxed and just could talk to people, 1091 01:23:09,119 --> 01:23:13,800 that would be fine. But now again, especially in the postcouph world, 1092 01:23:13,840 --> 01:23:18,079 it's like we have all these people who only interact with other humans virtually 1093 01:23:18,920 --> 01:23:25,159 and um sit in their house or their comb pod and then you've got the 1094 01:23:25,199 --> 01:23:30,840 po RN added to the biggest problem. It's a huge problem because the epidemic 1095 01:23:31,239 --> 01:23:35,600 like one hundred times more than Coo've ever wanted to be like this has rotted 1096 01:23:35,600 --> 01:23:41,800 people's brains like literally your frontal lobe is Swiss cheese. Yeah, because and 1097 01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:49,000 they can't even find guys that don't do that, because they like have like 1098 01:23:49,359 --> 01:23:54,279 if you're not in recovery of statistics are insane. They can't even find a 1099 01:23:54,319 --> 01:23:59,319 control group to study it. Be kind of it's so like all men have. 1100 01:24:00,000 --> 01:24:04,279 It was something like ninety five percent of American men have seen it in 1101 01:24:04,319 --> 01:24:09,760 the last month and like eighty percent this week. Yeah, it's like everyone 1102 01:24:10,039 --> 01:24:14,359 and nobody's say like, this is the world people talk about feminism and no, 1103 01:24:15,520 --> 01:24:18,199 um, like I'm not saying anything about you, and your book is 1104 01:24:18,199 --> 01:24:25,560 great, but this problem is so much worse. It is than feminism could 1105 01:24:25,560 --> 01:24:30,920 ever be. Well, I mean, there was a huge battle between the 1106 01:24:30,000 --> 01:24:36,039 sex positive feminists and the not sex positive feminists in the sixties, seventies, 1107 01:24:36,039 --> 01:24:41,840 and eighties and still now for this reason because half of them were like, 1108 01:24:42,640 --> 01:24:47,039 no, po rn and prostitution and all this stuff is not liberating. You're 1109 01:24:47,119 --> 01:24:55,199 going you're just reinforcing the worst aspects of like oppression against women or whatever, 1110 01:24:56,560 --> 01:24:59,920 and you're just gonna make it worse. You're you're training men not to see 1111 01:25:00,079 --> 01:25:02,520 us as people. Yes, And the other ones were like, well, 1112 01:25:02,520 --> 01:25:05,800 we gotta get ours and we need to make money, and why shouldn't I 1113 01:25:05,840 --> 01:25:11,439 embrace my sexuality and why shouldn't I shake what my mama gave me? And 1114 01:25:11,479 --> 01:25:17,119 that it's liberating and now I'm in control of that, and clearly that didn't 1115 01:25:17,119 --> 01:25:20,319 work out for them. I say this. I say this to the people 1116 01:25:20,359 --> 01:25:25,359 I debate all the time, because I've debated this subject of like only fans 1117 01:25:25,520 --> 01:25:30,159 girls and sex work and stuff multiple times with women who do it and with 1118 01:25:30,199 --> 01:25:33,520 women who just advocate for it, and a lot of them really think that 1119 01:25:33,520 --> 01:25:38,239 this is a good and liberating thing because all they know is I sit in 1120 01:25:38,239 --> 01:25:43,520 front of my computer and simp send me money. What's wrong with that? 1121 01:25:43,720 --> 01:25:46,199 And it's like, well, there's a ton of things wrong with it. 1122 01:25:46,439 --> 01:25:51,199 We can just do their feet and make it. Yeah, it's crazy. 1123 01:25:51,520 --> 01:25:57,479 Well, and the thing about so there's some misconceptions about it. They're very 1124 01:25:57,560 --> 01:26:02,399 serious that have led to this, which like again these crazy sociologists and psychologists 1125 01:26:02,439 --> 01:26:10,159 and sexologists, which this all started in like forties fifties, they they were 1126 01:26:10,199 --> 01:26:13,439 all curves. Okay, if you look back at any of these people that 1127 01:26:13,520 --> 01:26:17,640 were the early like sexologists or sociologists studying sexual behavior. Yeah, like all 1128 01:26:17,680 --> 01:26:23,920 of them. Kinsey was a good example. Who was the guy that did 1129 01:26:23,920 --> 01:26:28,680 the cloudbusting Wilhelm, right, gone, yeah, yes, yes, all 1130 01:26:28,720 --> 01:26:32,039 these guys were fruit loops. They were all into like the creepiest, kinkiest, 1131 01:26:32,159 --> 01:26:36,079 weirdest stuff that you could come up with back then. And their whole 1132 01:26:36,159 --> 01:26:43,680 thing was, Hey, now that we have evolutionary biology, we can kind 1133 01:26:43,720 --> 01:26:47,760 of twist the science around to make this all normal and natural. Right, 1134 01:26:47,800 --> 01:26:53,479 It's just natural. I'm just horny, it's natural, and I just stick 1135 01:26:53,560 --> 01:26:57,119 it in a chicken sandwich, you know what. Don't shame me, don't 1136 01:26:57,199 --> 01:27:00,159 kink shame me for being into chicken sandwiches. Right, So then we do 1137 01:27:00,199 --> 01:27:03,760 a study that's framed to prove that it's not weird to be into chicken sandwiches, 1138 01:27:04,159 --> 01:27:09,600 and they do this with everything. So it's like, we have this 1139 01:27:09,640 --> 01:27:12,640 conception. I hear this repeat it all the time where people are like, 1140 01:27:13,079 --> 01:27:15,720 you know, it's you're born gay, You're born a certain way, You're 1141 01:27:15,720 --> 01:27:20,720 just born with the sexual tastes you're born with. And even though we have 1142 01:27:20,920 --> 01:27:27,199 tons of neuroscience proving that's not true. Human sexuality is highly plastic, it's 1143 01:27:27,319 --> 01:27:31,560 highly malleable and if you are watching PRN all the time. It's just like 1144 01:27:31,680 --> 01:27:34,920 drugs. It works in the brain the same way as drugs. It provides 1145 01:27:34,920 --> 01:27:39,520 the stimulus, you get the dopamine and all the chemicals flowing. You need 1146 01:27:39,840 --> 01:27:44,279 more and more extreme stuff to get the same response. You need weirder, 1147 01:27:44,520 --> 01:27:49,039 creepier, more violent, more extreme stuff to get the same response. And 1148 01:27:49,199 --> 01:27:58,359 so we have a whole generation of people that don't see the opposite sex as 1149 01:27:58,359 --> 01:28:02,439 people at all. They're just like a means to an end. It's to 1150 01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:08,359 get your jollies off. It's do the weird kink together so that we can 1151 01:28:08,439 --> 01:28:13,399 push the boundaries and try to get new highs from it. Yeah, there 1152 01:28:13,560 --> 01:28:16,720 is no That's where I guess that telos part comes back in, because it's 1153 01:28:16,760 --> 01:28:23,560 like, that's not what interaction between the sexes is supposed to be for It's 1154 01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:27,960 yeah, it's a horrible perversion of it. Girls always say I don't want 1155 01:28:27,960 --> 01:28:30,800 to be objectified, but like, guys don't understand what that means. That 1156 01:28:30,920 --> 01:28:40,920 means that I am not a car. I am not like because when they 1157 01:28:41,439 --> 01:28:45,279 describe women, they're like who wants to drive a used car? Who want 1158 01:28:45,479 --> 01:28:48,920 everyone wants a new house? Like when they talk about what kind of women 1159 01:28:48,960 --> 01:28:53,479 they want, and you're like, a woman is not a piece of property, 1160 01:28:53,760 --> 01:29:00,520 Like they're not an object. Yeah, but they don't mean like I 1161 01:29:00,560 --> 01:29:04,199 said, it used to be you would look at a woman and think about 1162 01:29:04,239 --> 01:29:09,720 her more as would this be a good mother for my children? Is she 1163 01:29:09,920 --> 01:29:13,600 going to be is she going to represent me? Well? Like if I'm 1164 01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:17,359 not around, like if I am busy in going off to the war or 1165 01:29:17,399 --> 01:29:20,960 whatever, like old timey stuff you had to travel and do, can she 1166 01:29:21,119 --> 01:29:26,399 like hold the fort down and represent my interests and take care of the family. 1167 01:29:26,439 --> 01:29:31,159 Like there was so much more responsibility and long term thinking involved in pairing 1168 01:29:31,560 --> 01:29:36,159 men and women together. And now we just don't even think about things that 1169 01:29:36,199 --> 01:29:45,119 way. It's completely just like this short term gratification transactional madness. So have 1170 01:29:45,159 --> 01:29:49,560 you ever looked into what the word helped me means? No in the Bible, 1171 01:29:49,800 --> 01:29:55,479 So no, that that's interesting. Yeah, So this word is used 1172 01:29:55,600 --> 01:30:03,079 other times in the Bible as God's relationship towards Israel when he was its rescuer. 1173 01:30:04,199 --> 01:30:11,000 So it's not just like your little like assistant helper helped me that just 1174 01:30:11,279 --> 01:30:15,159 you know, like orbits around you and does all of your chores for you, 1175 01:30:15,239 --> 01:30:20,520 it's as like a powerful being that has been put on the earth as 1176 01:30:20,560 --> 01:30:28,119 your partner in war, in spiritual warfare, and as like a rescuer in 1177 01:30:28,199 --> 01:30:38,439 your time of trouble. So changes the entire attitude about like women's roles in 1178 01:30:38,560 --> 01:30:45,760 marriage and life as not a subservient thing, but like as somebody that should 1179 01:30:45,760 --> 01:30:54,880 be appreciated because you are rescuing that person from That's actually super cool. Andy 1180 01:30:54,960 --> 01:30:57,920 has referred to me like that before. He has said that he thinks of 1181 01:30:57,960 --> 01:31:01,159 me as like this, like I'm a bear warrior. Like he pictures me 1182 01:31:01,479 --> 01:31:05,239 with like a shield and a sword and the kids behind me, and like 1183 01:31:05,880 --> 01:31:10,800 shield made in for Yeah, exactly, Like that's kind of how he thinks 1184 01:31:10,800 --> 01:31:13,119 of me. But I would say the same thing about him, like We've 1185 01:31:13,119 --> 01:31:15,680 been through horrible things together in life, some of the worst things that people 1186 01:31:15,680 --> 01:31:20,039 can go through, and I always remember those times, Like even if I'm 1187 01:31:20,079 --> 01:31:23,640 mad at him, like he'd made me mad the other day or something, 1188 01:31:23,640 --> 01:31:26,319 and I'm going on a jerk, He's stupid. I don't even I don't 1189 01:31:26,319 --> 01:31:29,720 even know why I put up with him, I will think about those times 1190 01:31:29,720 --> 01:31:33,000 and be like, Okay, I really might not be here if he hadn't 1191 01:31:33,039 --> 01:31:40,960 like literally stepped in and kind of saved me from horrible grief or terrible situation 1192 01:31:41,159 --> 01:31:44,560 or you know, times when I was super, super sick and he took 1193 01:31:44,600 --> 01:31:48,319 care of me and things like that. That stuff is awesome. It's way 1194 01:31:48,399 --> 01:31:54,600 better than just being coomer furry people or whatever it is that people have going 1195 01:31:54,600 --> 01:31:58,159 on now. And it's like, yeah, there's a lot more sacrifice involved, 1196 01:31:58,159 --> 01:32:00,640 but you get so much out of it and it's awesome. And then 1197 01:32:01,159 --> 01:32:05,960 you have a whole family together. This is this is supposed to be the 1198 01:32:06,079 --> 01:32:14,079 unit that stabilizes society too, you know, yes, because you don't have 1199 01:32:14,119 --> 01:32:16,960 any stability in society now. And I think that's a big part of it. 1200 01:32:17,079 --> 01:32:20,239 And this is one of the reasons that I'm always talking about this stuff, 1201 01:32:20,319 --> 01:32:24,840 is because I think of all the kids like me who grow up with 1202 01:32:24,960 --> 01:32:30,960 like really fractured homes and like tons of instability and you don't know who dad's 1203 01:32:30,000 --> 01:32:33,279 girlfriend might be next week, or you don't know if mom's boyfriend's going to 1204 01:32:33,359 --> 01:32:36,960 move out and move back in, and all this craziness that goes on where 1205 01:32:38,720 --> 01:32:41,319 you know, some kids don't even know who their dad is and things like 1206 01:32:41,359 --> 01:32:45,520 this. It's a really tough way to start life, and it sets you 1207 01:32:45,680 --> 01:32:53,039 up for like distrust and suspicion and all these things because you don't have a 1208 01:32:53,079 --> 01:32:59,720 solid foundation. There's a study I always refer to from twenty twelve where they 1209 01:33:00,079 --> 01:33:02,600 there's like a children's psych word that had like one hundred and thirteen kids in 1210 01:33:02,640 --> 01:33:05,800 it. An eighty eight percent of the kids who were in there came from 1211 01:33:05,800 --> 01:33:12,560 broken homes. Yeah, and it's a known risk factor. It's a known 1212 01:33:12,680 --> 01:33:17,159 risk factor for mental and physical health problems to be breaking up families. You 1213 01:33:17,159 --> 01:33:21,319 are one hundred percent at a disadvantage if you come from a divorced family. 1214 01:33:23,439 --> 01:33:32,600 There's so getting back to red pills. I watched this video from the Mano 1215 01:33:32,720 --> 01:33:39,880 Sphere. I just kind of like random, you know, put it popped 1216 01:33:39,880 --> 01:33:43,600 in red pill into YouTube and see what comes up. Right, Oh no, 1217 01:33:44,119 --> 01:33:49,840 that's terrifying. Twenty one convention in Orlando, Florida, twenty eighteen. 1218 01:33:50,039 --> 01:33:55,000 Richard Cooper. I guess he's one of the high ups in this red Pill. 1219 01:33:55,279 --> 01:33:57,399 Have you heard of this guy? He's like, oh no, but 1220 01:33:57,560 --> 01:34:00,960 there's so many now that I haven't heard of. So just to get like 1221 01:34:01,119 --> 01:34:11,720 feel where these people are coming from and it's really egregious, it's really really 1222 01:34:11,720 --> 01:34:15,319 bad. So this video was titled nineteen things your dad should have told you 1223 01:34:15,359 --> 01:34:19,840 that he never did. Oh no, And I can already tell this is 1224 01:34:19,880 --> 01:34:26,399 going to be the title Gore Alone. Like it's just that's a terrible that's 1225 01:34:26,439 --> 01:34:31,479 not even a proper sentence anyway, right, yeah, Okay, So I 1226 01:34:31,520 --> 01:34:36,199 watched forty one out of fifty six minutes of this crap. And so the 1227 01:34:36,279 --> 01:34:44,119 first point that he makes is avoid unhappy and unlucky people. Their problems aren't 1228 01:34:44,159 --> 01:34:47,960 your problems. This includes the broke, unhealthy, and obese. So right 1229 01:34:48,000 --> 01:34:55,720 here, this guy's out of the gate, just a douche, Yeah, 1230 01:34:55,840 --> 01:35:03,479 right, Like, how do you avoid unhappy, unlucky people and their problems 1231 01:35:03,479 --> 01:35:06,800 aren't your problems? You don't give alms, you don't give charity, you 1232 01:35:09,199 --> 01:35:12,600 don't care if they're broke, unhealthy, obie. I just feel like you 1233 01:35:12,640 --> 01:35:15,840 don't care about people, of course not. It sounds like this is already 1234 01:35:15,840 --> 01:35:21,479 out of the gate going to be a guide to self enrichment. And I'm 1235 01:35:21,520 --> 01:35:27,359 not saying that you should like be spending lots of time with low life people 1236 01:35:27,439 --> 01:35:31,159 in drug down, but you can't just say, oh, I don't like 1237 01:35:31,199 --> 01:35:34,880 your vibes, good vibes only I hate that? Yeah, I hate that 1238 01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:40,600 too. And what even is an unlucky like I'm an unlucky person? Maybe 1239 01:35:40,640 --> 01:35:44,079 I don't know. Am I unlucky? I don't like? And what is 1240 01:35:44,119 --> 01:35:49,119 broke? I mean unhealthy and obese people? So this is all the people 1241 01:35:49,159 --> 01:35:55,520 that he is like is not worthy of his attention. Boy, I hope 1242 01:35:55,560 --> 01:36:00,119 this guy is a really high quality individual. It sounds very eyes he's a 1243 01:36:00,199 --> 01:36:05,560 high value man. He's a king, right, Okay, one of those 1244 01:36:05,560 --> 01:36:11,000 he's one of these kings. Oh God, all the kings and the queens 1245 01:36:11,920 --> 01:36:15,800 can all get out like I'm a I'm a queen and that I'm a king. 1246 01:36:15,880 --> 01:36:20,960 People, It's so cringe. Okay, So No Number two, No 1247 01:36:21,520 --> 01:36:26,000 LTR. I had to like think about this for a minute. Wasn't LT 1248 01:36:25,880 --> 01:36:29,439 a long term relationship? Because I have these codes now that they speak to 1249 01:36:29,479 --> 01:36:31,479 each other. I'm such a nerd that I immediately thought like Lord of the 1250 01:36:31,560 --> 01:36:39,800 Rings, nor of the Rings. That's a deal breaker for me already. 1251 01:36:40,199 --> 01:36:45,279 So no LTR with women who have a big social media presence, Oh I've 1252 01:36:45,359 --> 01:36:49,640 heard this one. I get this all the time. Uh, you shouldn't 1253 01:36:49,640 --> 01:36:54,920 even be on the line online because if you were a real traditional woman, 1254 01:36:54,960 --> 01:36:59,199 you wouldn't even be online. What even is that? Like what if she's 1255 01:36:59,239 --> 01:37:03,600 a like famous baker, is she not allowed to have a presence if she 1256 01:37:03,680 --> 01:37:08,600 wanted to? If I have a book and I talk about motherhood and Christianity, 1257 01:37:09,000 --> 01:37:12,439 I know, so you want, like, really trad boys, you 1258 01:37:12,520 --> 01:37:16,319 want me to log off? I doubt you're going to only fans an Instagram 1259 01:37:16,399 --> 01:37:21,000 and telling all the hot booby girls to get off the internet. I'm pretty 1260 01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:26,279 sure you're not right, but me I should log off? Well your attention 1261 01:37:26,399 --> 01:37:29,760 seeking? Well, yeah, I guess if I want you to read my 1262 01:37:29,880 --> 01:37:32,800 book, I guess that's attention seeking. But I mean I can understand maybe 1263 01:37:33,079 --> 01:37:38,800 if she's yeah, a sex worker, or yeah, an Instagram model, 1264 01:37:39,039 --> 01:37:42,760 or if she's on Twitch in a hot tub with just her boobs floating, 1265 01:37:44,319 --> 01:37:48,880 yeah maybe yeah, yeah, that's probably not the best long term relationship material. 1266 01:37:49,239 --> 01:37:53,640 I would agree, But I mean, but if she has talents and 1267 01:37:54,119 --> 01:37:57,880 like something to offer, just let her be what she wants. Yeah, 1268 01:37:58,239 --> 01:38:02,239 Or what if she's an artist, or what if she does crafting or like, 1269 01:38:02,319 --> 01:38:05,159 there's a million things you can do online that have nothing to do with 1270 01:38:05,319 --> 01:38:11,520 like a toxic personality, right, whatever. So then he talks about spinning 1271 01:38:11,640 --> 01:38:16,680 plates, which I had to like look at other things, like what is 1272 01:38:16,720 --> 01:38:23,920 spinning plates? So apparently it refers to dating, and I assume sleeping with 1273 01:38:24,079 --> 01:38:28,359 multiple people at once. So like spinning plates, you know, like a 1274 01:38:29,600 --> 01:38:33,279 and so you have LTRs, You have your plates that you spin, you 1275 01:38:33,359 --> 01:38:38,479 know, you like go back and forth and keep them spinning, and then 1276 01:38:39,680 --> 01:38:45,000 you have wife material. So there's already these compartmentalized different kinds of women that 1277 01:38:45,119 --> 01:38:53,560 you treat differently, right, Okay, but I just thought the spinning plates 1278 01:38:53,640 --> 01:38:59,079 thing was so gross. Was he saying, like you should there's women you're 1279 01:38:59,119 --> 01:39:02,880 supposed to key like your booty call women. Is that Yeah, that's his 1280 01:39:03,119 --> 01:39:08,960 stable or whatever. That's what your mayors and your stable that you keep for 1281 01:39:09,680 --> 01:39:13,720 like break the glass in case of loneliness or whatever, And so you keep 1282 01:39:13,720 --> 01:39:18,319 all these place spinning. He says, Guys point the camera at the world. 1283 01:39:18,720 --> 01:39:26,279 Girls point the camera at themselves. Isn't he pointing the camera at himself? 1284 01:39:26,439 --> 01:39:29,159 Right? I was, like, says the guy in the spotlight in 1285 01:39:29,279 --> 01:39:31,159 front of thousands of people at a convention with the microphone in his hand. 1286 01:39:31,560 --> 01:39:38,880 So hypocrite, right, Yeah, And I don't really think that's true because 1287 01:39:38,960 --> 01:39:44,720 trending on TikTok is like women are complaining that guys do not want to take 1288 01:39:45,079 --> 01:39:47,479 photos of them. They aren't any of the family photos because men act like 1289 01:39:47,600 --> 01:39:51,239 babies if they try to go get a photo shoot, and they're not like, 1290 01:39:51,760 --> 01:39:59,439 um, giving enough to want to take photos of mom with the kids. 1291 01:39:59,520 --> 01:40:03,279 So women are like, I've gone ten twenty years and all of my 1292 01:40:03,359 --> 01:40:06,159 family photos are just my husband and my kids because I'm the one behind the 1293 01:40:06,239 --> 01:40:11,920 camera. Yeah, that's me, but it's usually just because I'm the person 1294 01:40:12,000 --> 01:40:15,359 that wants the pictures and like nobody else is thinking about it. So this 1295 01:40:15,520 --> 01:40:20,199 guy is like men just like are so interesting that they take pictures of interesting 1296 01:40:20,279 --> 01:40:23,840 things in the world, and girls are so vapid that all they have a 1297 01:40:24,000 --> 01:40:28,239 theory about this man, I have a theory maybe because you're looking for booty 1298 01:40:28,319 --> 01:40:32,680 call spinning plates, you're mainly coming across girls who are have their phone and 1299 01:40:32,720 --> 01:40:35,920 they're doing duck lips and pushing their boobs up. Do you ever think of 1300 01:40:36,000 --> 01:40:41,000 that? That's what I was saying about Andrew Tate I'm like, your opinion 1301 01:40:41,600 --> 01:40:45,600 about women is derived from all of these women that work for your sex can 1302 01:40:45,800 --> 01:40:50,159 girls, so of course you have a low opinion. I'm like, who, 1303 01:40:50,800 --> 01:40:59,600 all the women I know are amazing talented, beautiful, smart, confident, 1304 01:40:59,760 --> 01:41:04,920 like competent, just like tens. Okay, I don't really even know 1305 01:41:05,239 --> 01:41:13,359 any stupid thoughty women. Maybe I know, I know of a bunch of 1306 01:41:13,439 --> 01:41:15,199 them, but like they don't want to be friends with me, and I 1307 01:41:15,239 --> 01:41:18,199 don't want to be friends with them. It's like a different circle. But 1308 01:41:18,319 --> 01:41:23,960 I definitely do know of them, and like I do have a couple in 1309 01:41:24,079 --> 01:41:28,000 my extended family who are like that way, and you know, of course 1310 01:41:28,039 --> 01:41:31,800 they think I'm like this holier than now, like boring, weird conservative person. 1311 01:41:32,319 --> 01:41:34,880 It's not like I don't know that they exist, but yeah, Like 1312 01:41:35,239 --> 01:41:40,640 I mean, I think of people like you, or like Courtney Turner, 1313 01:41:41,000 --> 01:41:45,880 or my best friend that I've had my whole life, who is like I 1314 01:41:46,079 --> 01:41:50,439 look up to her in so many ways because she's so incredibly like competent, 1315 01:41:50,520 --> 01:41:54,880 but she's a really great mom and she's like a super solid person. She 1316 01:41:55,000 --> 01:41:59,000 teaches Sunday school at her church, and she's just like one of those women 1317 01:41:59,079 --> 01:42:01,159 that you look at her, You're like, yes, this is this person 1318 01:42:01,359 --> 01:42:04,920 is like a great model for what like awesome women are Like yeah, well 1319 01:42:05,000 --> 01:42:08,680 I don't think I think that's like a big problem too. We just don't 1320 01:42:08,800 --> 01:42:11,680 have that. It's like, you don't. This is what I'm always saying 1321 01:42:11,720 --> 01:42:14,720 when I'm like, we need to venerate those kind of women. We need 1322 01:42:14,760 --> 01:42:16,640 to hold those kind of women up and go look at her, isn't she 1323 01:42:16,720 --> 01:42:23,560 amazing? Not Kim Kardashian and not like Brady, you know, Taylor Swift 1324 01:42:23,760 --> 01:42:27,800 or like all of these the people we hold up on a pedestal, or 1325 01:42:27,880 --> 01:42:31,399 like these girls that are selling their bathwater online to simps and stuff. It's 1326 01:42:31,479 --> 01:42:38,119 like, of course, those girls are going to be a totally different type 1327 01:42:38,119 --> 01:42:45,279 of person than the millions of like soccer moms and church ladies and nice women 1328 01:42:45,439 --> 01:42:49,039 who are out there. But even the not nice women, I still have 1329 01:42:49,159 --> 01:42:55,720 a soft spot for them because they were damaged along the road, like somebody 1330 01:42:55,800 --> 01:42:59,960 failed them. And here's another point he had. He says, avoid women 1331 01:43:00,119 --> 01:43:03,760 with daddy issues played him, don't date them, put him in the f 1332 01:43:04,000 --> 01:43:12,119 zone. Okay, And I'm just I'm getting angry because I'm like, so 1333 01:43:13,039 --> 01:43:16,640 her dad failed her, so you're just so that makes her the type of 1334 01:43:16,720 --> 01:43:23,279 woman that's just trash to be used as trash. Yeah, Like Andy and 1335 01:43:23,560 --> 01:43:29,399 his other like debater guys and Shapiro they take on dudes, the pickup artist 1336 01:43:29,479 --> 01:43:34,079 guys. They argue with them about this all the time because they're both Andy 1337 01:43:34,279 --> 01:43:38,159 and he goes by Zen Shapiro. That's not his real name, it's just 1338 01:43:38,439 --> 01:43:42,359 like funny online name, but both of them like, he's he just got 1339 01:43:42,479 --> 01:43:45,039 married, he's expecting his first child. You know, Andy, when he 1340 01:43:45,199 --> 01:43:49,399 was really young was kind of a player and he totally like reformed from that. 1341 01:43:49,520 --> 01:43:53,199 So he's really good at arguing why it's bad and why you shouldn't do 1342 01:43:53,279 --> 01:43:57,520 it and why that's a horrible thing to do to women. And these guys 1343 01:43:57,800 --> 01:44:01,560 always say, well, she's a free, independent woman and this is what 1344 01:44:01,680 --> 01:44:03,960 she wants to do, so why shouldn't I take advantage of it. And 1345 01:44:04,079 --> 01:44:10,720 it's like, because they're doing that because they're getting these signals from society and 1346 01:44:10,880 --> 01:44:15,520 from you that this makes them worth something. Yes, so if you didn't 1347 01:44:15,560 --> 01:44:19,720 do if you didn't facilitate that, they wouldn't do it. But also it's 1348 01:44:19,800 --> 01:44:24,640 kind of both. It's like how who do you get to fix the thing? 1349 01:44:25,039 --> 01:44:28,920 And people are surprised because I'm so like against feminism and everything, but 1350 01:44:29,000 --> 01:44:30,960 I'm like, it has to be the men. The men are supposed to 1351 01:44:31,119 --> 01:44:34,640 lead. The men are supposed to if we're going to have a patriarchy in 1352 01:44:34,720 --> 01:44:40,039 the biblical sense, right, in the sense of how God created us, 1353 01:44:40,079 --> 01:44:43,560 where men are providers and protectors, they have to be providers and protectors. 1354 01:44:44,039 --> 01:44:48,039 You can't have a patriarchy without patriarchs. Are you acting like a patriarch when 1355 01:44:48,079 --> 01:44:53,920 you're playing women and screwing around and sleeping with all these different girls at the 1356 01:44:53,960 --> 01:44:58,439 same time, and treating certain ones like hose and treating other ones. It's 1357 01:44:58,479 --> 01:45:02,520 like, that's not what you're supposed to do. There would be. You're 1358 01:45:02,600 --> 01:45:05,680 supposed to be the leader. It's on you. Like, ultimately, the 1359 01:45:05,760 --> 01:45:09,920 buck does stop with the men. There would be no only fans if there 1360 01:45:10,000 --> 01:45:14,359 was no money. Yeah, well, and like men will complain, and 1361 01:45:14,920 --> 01:45:16,760 I get complaints from both, right, the men will complain that there's no 1362 01:45:16,840 --> 01:45:19,199 good women, and the women will complain that there's no good men. And 1363 01:45:19,279 --> 01:45:25,760 it's like the women and I guarantee this, and men never believe me. 1364 01:45:26,199 --> 01:45:31,880 And I always say, if you guys rewarded good female behavior and all the 1365 01:45:31,960 --> 01:45:38,640 women would start acting differently tomorrow, they would, because that's at the heart 1366 01:45:38,680 --> 01:45:43,119 of why women do this stuff. They do want like approval, attention, 1367 01:45:43,359 --> 01:45:48,600 validation. They want to feel like they matter. Yeah, and like it's 1368 01:45:48,680 --> 01:45:53,039 easy to just be like, oh, they're all just really selfish narcissist. 1369 01:45:53,079 --> 01:45:57,279 It's like, no, they're not. That's not how human beings work. 1370 01:45:57,359 --> 01:46:02,039 And it's like if you if girls up with the idea that good wives are 1371 01:46:02,159 --> 01:46:08,079 valued, they would act more like that. But the whole culture around them 1372 01:46:08,159 --> 01:46:13,520 and all the men in their life act like twerking and walking around in a 1373 01:46:13,640 --> 01:46:19,039 thong with your booty hanging out is what people want from you, So that's 1374 01:46:19,159 --> 01:46:23,359 what they do. So I always tell men, I'm like, you're kind 1375 01:46:23,439 --> 01:46:27,640 of a blame because you guys were super excited to get all the free sex 1376 01:46:27,760 --> 01:46:30,439 without any of the attachment. Right when the sexual revolution happened. The men 1377 01:46:30,520 --> 01:46:33,079 were like, Wooo, we just get to have all the sex and none 1378 01:46:33,119 --> 01:46:38,880 of the like supporting a family and like working hard all the time to like 1379 01:46:39,359 --> 01:46:42,800 support a wife and be there for kids. They thought it was great, 1380 01:46:42,840 --> 01:46:45,760 And I'm like, how's that deal working out for you? Now, how 1381 01:46:45,800 --> 01:46:48,439 do you feel about it? Yeah? You know, and I know that 1382 01:46:48,560 --> 01:46:53,239 the red pill manisphere crowd, they just decided to go with it. They're 1383 01:46:53,279 --> 01:46:55,439 like, we'll just go with this. We'll just take it all the way. 1384 01:46:55,520 --> 01:46:58,359 We'll just be like really disgusting and take this all the way. But 1385 01:46:58,800 --> 01:47:01,279 for all the guys who are out there complaining, it's like, like you 1386 01:47:01,399 --> 01:47:04,479 said, it's only the men who can kind of police each other. We 1387 01:47:04,560 --> 01:47:09,000 can't force y'all to do anything that's not how power dynam when we say it. 1388 01:47:09,079 --> 01:47:16,039 It's nagging or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, So then he said something 1389 01:47:16,119 --> 01:47:20,000 that just put the whole thing in perspective when he talked about some women are 1390 01:47:20,039 --> 01:47:24,720 wife material and they're damaged, and these women are for the f zone and 1391 01:47:24,800 --> 01:47:31,760 plating. He says men are endurance predators. So there's his worldview right there. 1392 01:47:32,720 --> 01:47:39,880 Men aren't for protecting, loving, cherishing, providing. They're just pro 1393 01:47:40,600 --> 01:47:45,880 or consuming things and you want to avoid all of the risks of what you're 1394 01:47:45,920 --> 01:47:50,439 consuming without any of the responsibilities. So this guy, like, this guy 1395 01:47:50,560 --> 01:47:55,279 probably has some serious issues too. I would bet you anything. He was 1396 01:47:55,399 --> 01:48:00,079 raised by like a single mom that had boy friends come in and go and 1397 01:48:00,159 --> 01:48:02,079 all the time. It didn't know his dad very well, and he's just 1398 01:48:02,279 --> 01:48:06,079 decided, like, women hurt me. Women are just gonna hurt me, 1399 01:48:06,159 --> 01:48:11,640 So this is what I'm gonna do. He literally said, no single moms. 1400 01:48:12,079 --> 01:48:20,720 And this is so weird to me that they sht on single moms so 1401 01:48:21,000 --> 01:48:27,560 much, And it hurts my heart because like most of the single moms did 1402 01:48:27,720 --> 01:48:33,960 not choose that. That's a tough one because so many women initiate divorce. 1403 01:48:34,720 --> 01:48:39,840 But think of it this way. The problem now is that people didn't even 1404 01:48:39,880 --> 01:48:43,439 bother to get married anymore. Yeah, everybody's just making babies with everybody. 1405 01:48:43,520 --> 01:48:49,279 And it's like, so she she had two choices to stay in this relationship 1406 01:48:50,319 --> 01:48:56,840 or to get out of it, and like to do the most frightening thing 1407 01:48:56,960 --> 01:49:00,520 in the whole world, to be a single parent was easier than staying with 1408 01:49:00,680 --> 01:49:05,880 this person. Well, I think there's different types of single moms because there 1409 01:49:05,960 --> 01:49:11,920 are so like, there's plenty of women who were like me where they really 1410 01:49:12,920 --> 01:49:15,199 I was not a single mom by choice. The guy took off. I 1411 01:49:15,239 --> 01:49:18,720 would have liked done anything to make it work, and I had no say 1412 01:49:18,760 --> 01:49:24,159 so in the matter, And that really sucks. Second, relationship I was 1413 01:49:24,199 --> 01:49:29,239 in right after that. Because I was so vulnerable, I was like really 1414 01:49:29,319 --> 01:49:32,039 good prey and I'm from like a small town. I was really naive, 1415 01:49:32,239 --> 01:49:36,960 and I was raised by somebody who kind of taught me that my worth was 1416 01:49:38,039 --> 01:49:42,119 in like taking care of broken people. So that just made me a really 1417 01:49:42,199 --> 01:49:46,680 good target. And I got totally like taken advantage of by this connartist guy. 1418 01:49:46,800 --> 01:49:50,520 And that was horrible situation. I know those things happened. They happened 1419 01:49:50,520 --> 01:49:58,279 to me. But then there's also women like my mother who just they decide 1420 01:49:58,800 --> 01:50:02,239 I'm bored, don't like being a housewife, and I want this younger guy 1421 01:50:02,279 --> 01:50:05,760 who's sexy, and so I'm going to break up the family. There's a 1422 01:50:05,840 --> 01:50:11,000 lot of that too, So I think it's totally situational with the single mom 1423 01:50:11,079 --> 01:50:15,239 thing. There are some women who really do look at the situation and go, 1424 01:50:15,039 --> 01:50:17,840 well, why shouldn't I divorce this guy and he'll have to pay me 1425 01:50:17,960 --> 01:50:21,000 child support, and like, you know, I just he doesn't pay enough 1426 01:50:21,000 --> 01:50:25,560 attention to me, or they have kind of flippant reasons, and then they 1427 01:50:25,640 --> 01:50:28,960 have an affair and they're just like, well, I can move in with 1428 01:50:29,079 --> 01:50:31,119 this guy and get money from the other guy, there are women who do 1429 01:50:31,239 --> 01:50:36,239 that too, But then there are like single moms who never wanted that, 1430 01:50:36,399 --> 01:50:40,720 and we're not to blame and we're put in a horrible situation. So I 1431 01:50:40,800 --> 01:50:45,399 think it just this contextual I don't even I know that's true, And I'm 1432 01:50:45,439 --> 01:50:47,760 not saying I just don't know any women like that. I just don't. 1433 01:50:47,840 --> 01:50:51,800 I never met. Unfortunately, I know a couple. Okay, so sucks. 1434 01:50:53,880 --> 01:50:58,920 Experience does not line up with his idea of what single moms are, 1435 01:50:59,479 --> 01:51:04,399 right, But it's like, but let's just let's even say that it was 1436 01:51:04,439 --> 01:51:08,720 a terrible single mom, Like, let's say she's just a heartless, awful 1437 01:51:08,960 --> 01:51:12,079 woman who did it for all, like left the husband who was a great 1438 01:51:12,199 --> 01:51:15,640 dad for no reason. Yeah, well, there's still kids in that picture, 1439 01:51:16,279 --> 01:51:20,600 right, So you still shouldn't look at single moms and be like, 1440 01:51:20,640 --> 01:51:24,800 oh, they can just be abused and thrown in the garbage. Yeah, 1441 01:51:25,119 --> 01:51:29,960 there's still even if the woman was terrible, theoretically, they're still kids involved 1442 01:51:30,039 --> 01:51:33,439 in that situation, so you still should go nowhere near her unless you have 1443 01:51:33,600 --> 01:51:38,800 really honorable intentions, period, Like, there's still no excuse for that. 1444 01:51:39,359 --> 01:51:43,800 You know, it's only the damaged women who will put up with such treatment 1445 01:51:45,199 --> 01:51:50,119 sometimes like what this guy's talking about, yeah, and being plated being Yeah, 1446 01:51:50,319 --> 01:51:56,680 that's it's the people who are already abused that are like, oh, 1447 01:51:56,720 --> 01:51:59,640 I guess this is how people are, and I guess this is what I 1448 01:52:00,439 --> 01:52:03,239 know what I can expect from, you know, life. So it's sad, 1449 01:52:03,479 --> 01:52:06,960 do you need to go? No, my dog is just making a 1450 01:52:08,039 --> 01:52:11,479 noise. But I do know that that's true. Like, there's a ton 1451 01:52:11,560 --> 01:52:18,199 of statistics showing that single mom households, like the kids that grow up with 1452 01:52:18,319 --> 01:52:24,199 single moms have much higher rates of abuse. And it's generally because whenever you 1453 01:52:24,319 --> 01:52:29,880 add another parent to the situation that's not the biological parent, it just statistically 1454 01:52:30,039 --> 01:52:32,119 ends in a lot more abuse and a lot worse abuse. So yeah, 1455 01:52:32,680 --> 01:52:38,239 on average generally. Now, of course there's fabulous men like my husband who 1456 01:52:38,880 --> 01:52:42,039 come in and save the day, but there's also men who see a single, 1457 01:52:42,239 --> 01:52:46,279 vulnerable woman with little kids and they are the predator type and it's like, 1458 01:52:46,359 --> 01:52:49,760 oh, there's no dad at home to protect these people. Yeah, 1459 01:52:49,840 --> 01:52:54,239 this is an easy prey for me. And that happens too. Yeah, 1460 01:52:55,000 --> 01:52:59,159 but I mean a man that will marry a single mom is blessed on thinking 1461 01:52:59,199 --> 01:53:02,600 of Saint Joseph. Yeah, Mary's husband. Yeah, I mean that's the 1462 01:53:02,760 --> 01:53:09,880 archetype for like adopting a family and being a responsible man and loving. Yeah, 1463 01:53:10,079 --> 01:53:15,760 that's not yours. I think that's super admirable, honestly for a guy 1464 01:53:15,880 --> 01:53:23,479 to take on somebody else's children do. And these horrible red pill types on 1465 01:53:23,560 --> 01:53:27,039 the internet, they'll try to say that to Andrew like it's an own. 1466 01:53:27,680 --> 01:53:30,079 They'll be like, oh, your wife was washed up, used goods when 1467 01:53:30,119 --> 01:53:33,680 you found her and you're raising another man's kids. Oh, you're own. 1468 01:53:33,840 --> 01:53:38,840 And he's he just he knows how stupid they are, so he doesn't let 1469 01:53:38,880 --> 01:53:42,479 it get to them. But it's funny. And this is these people, 1470 01:53:42,640 --> 01:53:47,520 by the way, everybody are like the trad Cath right right, those right 1471 01:53:47,600 --> 01:53:53,720 wing trad Cath Graper type of people who say this to him instead of being 1472 01:53:53,800 --> 01:54:00,880 like, Wow, you're a really honorable dude to do that. So, 1473 01:54:00,039 --> 01:54:05,760 while we're on the topic of trad and wife material, a lot of the 1474 01:54:05,880 --> 01:54:11,840 guys when they talk about wife material and you ask them what does that mean, 1475 01:54:12,600 --> 01:54:16,079 they'll be like, h, cook and clean and be submissive. Yeah, 1476 01:54:16,399 --> 01:54:20,920 and a virgin she has to be a virgin, and yeah, she 1477 01:54:21,079 --> 01:54:26,239 has to just do whatever I say. And well, there's this annoying girl 1478 01:54:26,239 --> 01:54:28,159 on TikTok and I'm not going to say her name because I don't want to 1479 01:54:28,159 --> 01:54:32,079 be mean two girls, but she's super smug and if there's any personality type 1480 01:54:32,159 --> 01:54:40,119 that I cannot abide, it's snobs and smug people. Okay, So she 1481 01:54:40,319 --> 01:54:43,560 gets on TikTok and she's like, oh, you have to do it's be 1482 01:54:43,840 --> 01:54:48,840 submissive. And I like got married and got whatever I wanted just because I'm 1483 01:54:48,920 --> 01:54:57,399 feminine. And then I'm submissive and I'm like, but that sounds more like 1484 01:54:57,600 --> 01:55:02,800 manipulation. Yes, that doesn't sound like what. That's what. The word 1485 01:55:02,920 --> 01:55:09,560 submissive is such a difficult word because the biblical meaning of it is more like 1486 01:55:10,800 --> 01:55:15,079 self sacrificing or willing to serve your family. It's not like I'm super quiet 1487 01:55:15,119 --> 01:55:18,239 and don't have an opinion and never say anything, which is like, again, 1488 01:55:18,439 --> 01:55:21,359 I get a ton of criticism for that because people are like, you're 1489 01:55:21,439 --> 01:55:27,520 not Chad because you're really outspoken and opinionated. And like the last debate Andy 1490 01:55:27,560 --> 01:55:30,880 and I did as a team, people were like she was dominating him and 1491 01:55:30,920 --> 01:55:33,960 wouldn't let him talk and and he's just like, do they think that I 1492 01:55:34,079 --> 01:55:38,560 want to spend my whole life with a person that just never talks and like, 1493 01:55:39,319 --> 01:55:42,840 is just a rope like a Stepford wife robot or something. He's like, 1494 01:55:43,520 --> 01:55:47,279 and he's a very masculine guy. He's not like a soft, soy 1495 01:55:47,479 --> 01:55:50,800 liberal type of guy at all. But he's just like, well, I 1496 01:55:51,000 --> 01:55:55,279 want my wife to have a brain and think, like I have to trust 1497 01:55:55,399 --> 01:55:58,479 her. Like when we moved into our new house, he didn't even see 1498 01:55:58,520 --> 01:56:00,960 it first. He was like, like, you can just go and like 1499 01:56:01,319 --> 01:56:04,680 check it out and if you think it's good and it's gonna meet all our 1500 01:56:04,760 --> 01:56:09,279 needs and then I'll like it. I totally trust your judgment. He like 1501 01:56:09,439 --> 01:56:11,720 he thinks of it that way, like I need to be able to trust 1502 01:56:11,760 --> 01:56:15,239 your judgment. You. You're competent, you can be trusted. You can 1503 01:56:15,319 --> 01:56:18,720 handle an emergency. Like he's like, I don't want some woman at home 1504 01:56:18,760 --> 01:56:21,800 with my kids who's like, oh, dear, I don't know what to 1505 01:56:21,920 --> 01:56:27,880 do about anything ever and oh, you know, like helpless or something leaning 1506 01:56:28,279 --> 01:56:31,359 okay, Like I just faint anytime anything happens. And Andy has to do 1507 01:56:31,720 --> 01:56:36,680 everything that would not work when these guys say, be submissive. It's totally 1508 01:56:36,800 --> 01:56:45,359 giving, like domb sub weird BDSM stuff. Yeah, fetish vibes fetish exactly, 1509 01:56:45,520 --> 01:56:49,319 And like I understand the concept of a vehicle needs one driver. Yeah, 1510 01:56:49,680 --> 01:56:55,159 we're a family and we're doing this thing. You are. You have 1511 01:56:55,279 --> 01:56:57,359 the wheel in the gas, pedal and the brakes, not me, because 1512 01:56:57,399 --> 01:56:59,760 if two people are going to try and drive it and be like, I'll 1513 01:57:00,119 --> 01:57:03,000 working all around. Yeah, okay, so I understand that, you know, 1514 01:57:03,079 --> 01:57:09,359 the buck stops with the man he's responsible for yes, blah blah blah. 1515 01:57:09,880 --> 01:57:15,720 But like, just submissiveness is not necessarily a virtue because you can submit 1516 01:57:15,760 --> 01:57:19,439 to evil, yes, exactly at least. Yeah, that's why I said 1517 01:57:19,439 --> 01:57:24,640 it's such a tricky word. I almost I don't like the word in the 1518 01:57:24,720 --> 01:57:29,279 modern context, but because it's in the Bible. Submit to your husband, 1519 01:57:29,359 --> 01:57:32,680 submit to your But it does say submit to your wife. Yes, yeah, 1520 01:57:32,680 --> 01:57:35,039 it does say that. But he says the man is the head of 1521 01:57:35,079 --> 01:57:40,560 the house. But you submit to each other, and she understands, and 1522 01:57:40,720 --> 01:57:44,760 we submit to God. Both of us submit to God. And if the 1523 01:57:44,880 --> 01:57:48,039 husband is submitting to God, he should not even by default, be allowed 1524 01:57:48,159 --> 01:57:53,119 to be like abusive you couldn't be. I know there's horrible people out there 1525 01:57:53,119 --> 01:57:58,079 who would justify that and say that that's okay. But we know that we 1526 01:57:58,239 --> 01:58:00,079 know better than that and that that's not the case. Well, here's like 1527 01:58:00,199 --> 01:58:03,640 an idea that could be construed as like a little bit feminist. But I'm 1528 01:58:03,680 --> 01:58:11,680 going to run it by you because I'm not quite sure if all women should 1529 01:58:11,720 --> 01:58:15,159 be submitting to all men, Like, definitely not know what I mean. 1530 01:58:15,319 --> 01:58:18,960 Like a wife can submit in her own house to her husband, who's a 1531 01:58:19,000 --> 01:58:25,439 godly person that she put her trust in, right, But I don't think 1532 01:58:25,640 --> 01:58:31,439 that it's healthy in society for just women to be like automatically submissive to every 1533 01:58:31,479 --> 01:58:35,319 man such as an Islam or another. No, I don't think so either. 1534 01:58:35,520 --> 01:58:39,880 Well, and there's a lot of reasons for that and the like people 1535 01:58:39,920 --> 01:58:43,079 who like my stuff might be surprised to hear me say that, But I 1536 01:58:43,159 --> 01:58:45,560 mean, think about it. If Andy's not home, say he was like 1537 01:58:45,640 --> 01:58:49,359 on a business trip and the neighbor man came over and told me to get 1538 01:58:49,439 --> 01:58:55,359 on my knees, should I submit? Yeah? Probably not. That's probably 1539 01:58:55,399 --> 01:59:00,479 not a good idea, yea. And no, it's like like I said, 1540 01:59:00,680 --> 01:59:06,720 if you want a society that's more patriarchal. You've got to have patriarchs. 1541 01:59:06,920 --> 01:59:13,399 We don't have that right now. We don't have like this large population 1542 01:59:13,640 --> 01:59:19,359 where the normative way to be a man is to be like a responsible man 1543 01:59:19,520 --> 01:59:26,760 of good character, you know, patriarch, like somebody who's trustworthy and loyal 1544 01:59:26,840 --> 01:59:31,119 and honest and like good men. Right now, we have a really really 1545 01:59:31,239 --> 01:59:36,399 dysfunctional society where we have feminized men, we have homosexual men, we have 1546 01:59:36,600 --> 01:59:42,000 trans people. We've got like we don't even know what a man is. 1547 01:59:42,239 --> 01:59:45,319 We've got toxic masculinity, and then we've got like feminism. We've got all 1548 01:59:45,520 --> 01:59:50,920 kinds of stuff that doesn't make it that simple. We can't just have like 1549 01:59:51,159 --> 01:59:55,520 have a patriarchy and every all the women submit, And like you said, 1550 01:59:55,560 --> 01:59:59,239 it's not that was never intended to be all men everywhere at all times. 1551 02:00:00,039 --> 02:00:02,159 It was not like I said, you wouldn't want to submit to a man 1552 02:00:02,199 --> 02:00:08,720 who's trying to rob you or our apeu or abuse you in some way or 1553 02:00:08,800 --> 02:00:12,239 take advantage of you. Like, there are times as a woman where you're 1554 02:00:12,359 --> 02:00:17,199 obligated not to submit if it's a bad judgment call. Yeah, and again 1555 02:00:17,319 --> 02:00:21,840 that's when women are supposed to be real people. We're real human beings who 1556 02:00:21,840 --> 02:00:27,640 are supposed to have our own judgment and our own discernment and our own character. 1557 02:00:30,640 --> 02:00:33,720 People just it's like people. People do this with everything now, where 1558 02:00:33,760 --> 02:00:39,560 they want to take a word and just apply it as this broad category and 1559 02:00:39,680 --> 02:00:43,319 make it an every time always. And that's like the word meaning fallacy that 1560 02:00:43,399 --> 02:00:45,680 Jay's always talking about, where it's like, okay, but that doesn't mean 1561 02:00:45,760 --> 02:00:49,279 that I submit to the neighbor if he wants to sleep with me, Obviously, 1562 02:00:49,880 --> 02:00:54,239 it doesn't mean that if the neighbor comes over and holds a gun to 1563 02:00:54,319 --> 02:00:56,720 my head and says, give me all your money, that I'm just supposed 1564 02:00:56,800 --> 02:00:59,640 I mean, maybe to save your life, you would submit or something. 1565 02:00:59,800 --> 02:01:05,760 But there's tons of situations or like say my dad demands that I leave my 1566 02:01:05,920 --> 02:01:11,439 husband for some reason. I shouldn't submit to that. That would not that 1567 02:01:11,520 --> 02:01:15,000 would not make sense, that would be ridiculous. So you can't think of 1568 02:01:15,039 --> 02:01:17,880 it that way. You have to think of it in the proper context. 1569 02:01:18,079 --> 02:01:23,359 And I heard, I heard one of these trag guys, these kings, 1570 02:01:23,880 --> 02:01:29,159 whatever you want to call them, Just like women shouldn't even have control over 1571 02:01:29,279 --> 02:01:33,039 their own finances, and it should be their brothers and dad that like dole 1572 02:01:33,079 --> 02:01:36,760 out whatever and you know, take care of them. And I'm just like, 1573 02:01:38,479 --> 02:01:41,960 do you even live in this planet? Like I'm from the real world. 1574 02:01:43,960 --> 02:01:48,760 Well, and the thing about that again, do they really want that? 1575 02:01:48,920 --> 02:01:54,039 I don't think they do, because imagine, imagine if tomorrow that guy 1576 02:01:54,319 --> 02:01:57,720 was responsible for the finances of every woman in his life. Do you think 1577 02:01:57,760 --> 02:02:00,640 he'd really want to know? That's what I was. Just being a dick. 1578 02:02:00,800 --> 02:02:03,479 Sometimes these people are just being a dick. Literally, like, tell 1579 02:02:03,560 --> 02:02:08,560 me one woman, who you've ever been catered to, I mean, cared 1580 02:02:08,600 --> 02:02:11,199 for, responsible for it? Not I know for a fact, because I 1581 02:02:11,279 --> 02:02:14,279 know your background and where you came from. And the stuff that you say 1582 02:02:14,359 --> 02:02:17,960 is assinine because you can never live up to that. If I let my 1583 02:02:18,399 --> 02:02:23,760 male members of my family run my life, I'd holmeless. Yeah, it's 1584 02:02:23,760 --> 02:02:28,479 just it's ridiculous, Okay. So and then oh, man, I wish 1585 02:02:28,520 --> 02:02:33,399 I could remember the story about an emperor and empress and Orthodox emperor and empress, 1586 02:02:33,439 --> 02:02:35,319 and I wish I could remember their names. But it was like one 1587 02:02:35,359 --> 02:02:41,920 of them wanted to leave the church or do something that would apostatize to himself 1588 02:02:42,079 --> 02:02:45,920 and the wife wrote him like this scathing letter and it was like, if 1589 02:02:46,000 --> 02:02:50,399 you do this, like we're no longer married, you're not a husband of 1590 02:02:50,520 --> 02:02:58,520 like can't you know? And it was really biting in the way that she 1591 02:02:58,640 --> 02:03:00,159 was talking him, but she was right, you can't leave the church. 1592 02:03:01,079 --> 02:03:06,199 Yeah right, yeah, I mean virtue comes into this guy's virtue and morality 1593 02:03:06,359 --> 02:03:12,000 are equally applied to both sexes. To even me, as somebody who calls 1594 02:03:12,039 --> 02:03:16,199 herself a patriarchist, I would never say like, oh, women aren't responsible 1595 02:03:16,319 --> 02:03:20,680 for their own moral choices. Women aren't responsible for standing up for what's right 1596 02:03:20,760 --> 02:03:26,079 and what's true. If a man says it's like again, when we're talking 1597 02:03:26,159 --> 02:03:31,039 about this stuff, it's not We're not trying to establish a weird trad fetish 1598 02:03:31,119 --> 02:03:36,000 where it's like this dominance some bad man cosplay weird. Yeah, yeah, 1599 02:03:36,479 --> 02:03:40,600 yeah. And I think that's another thing is like the pop culture stuff gives 1600 02:03:40,640 --> 02:03:44,960 people this. I've had people all week on Twitter telling me insane things about 1601 02:03:45,239 --> 02:03:48,359 history that I'm like, that's not true. Yes, Like you know, 1602 02:03:48,479 --> 02:03:56,880 they'll be like women weren't even women weren't even allowed to brush their teeth until 1603 02:03:57,039 --> 02:04:03,079 nineteen twenty, or like crazy things that people believe about women that they couldn't. 1604 02:04:04,600 --> 02:04:06,880 Like, you'll hear a lot of stuff where like, well, women 1605 02:04:06,920 --> 02:04:11,680 couldn't have property, and it's like in some places at some times, but 1606 02:04:11,840 --> 02:04:15,520 there were lots of places and lots of times where they could inherit property and 1607 02:04:15,600 --> 02:04:20,479 owned businesses and have credit lines and all this sort of stuff. So it's 1608 02:04:20,600 --> 02:04:27,079 never this like simple low IQ nonsense that people want to shove it into. 1609 02:04:27,439 --> 02:04:31,640 That's why I had to take all the time to like research and source things 1610 02:04:31,920 --> 02:04:36,039 and lay it out to try to like correct the record, because people believe 1611 02:04:36,159 --> 02:04:42,319 such crazy things about the history of like the genders and women in particular, 1612 02:04:42,439 --> 02:04:45,920 and this idea that we are. That's the other thing. People who like 1613 02:04:46,000 --> 02:04:50,880 women weren't educated. I'm like in some ways, but in a lot of 1614 02:04:50,960 --> 02:04:56,159 ways, they were extremely educated. Women two hundred years ago knew way more 1615 02:04:56,439 --> 02:05:00,960 about things that women nowadays have no idea about. I was like, I 1616 02:05:00,199 --> 02:05:06,600 was thinking about this traditional lifestyle for a woman, and like you said, 1617 02:05:06,720 --> 02:05:12,279 you know, she would get a high education, if she was from a 1618 02:05:12,359 --> 02:05:15,720 good family, she'd no multiple languages, she'd know the arts, she'd know 1619 02:05:15,840 --> 02:05:24,960 painting drawings, she would know like music, she'd had multiple talents, right, 1620 02:05:25,399 --> 02:05:31,000 yeah, not your scholary maid baby machine. Right. And well that's 1621 02:05:31,039 --> 02:05:34,800 what I always say when when women tell me this, Like feminists will be 1622 02:05:34,880 --> 02:05:39,800 like, you wouldn't even have the right to make a book if it weren't 1623 02:05:39,920 --> 02:05:43,560 for you know, a glorious dynum or something. And I'm like, then, 1624 02:05:43,680 --> 02:05:48,479 how come some of the most famous medieval writers were women who worked and 1625 02:05:48,640 --> 02:05:53,800 had paying jobs for like the highest courts in France and Italy. How come 1626 02:05:53,840 --> 02:05:59,439 in the seventeen hundreds, women like Mary Wolstoncraft could make a living and support 1627 02:05:59,479 --> 02:06:02,960 themselves being writers and traveled all over Europe and all this. It's like, 1628 02:06:03,359 --> 02:06:06,359 that's all nonsense, these ideas that they have. And it's like, yes, 1629 02:06:06,439 --> 02:06:11,680 there were different situations for different classes in different times, in different contexts, 1630 02:06:11,680 --> 02:06:15,319 but to just say women have been subjugated forever is bullshit. And to 1631 02:06:15,439 --> 02:06:20,680 say women always should be subjugated forevermore in every way is also bullshit. It's 1632 02:06:20,680 --> 02:06:25,319 just how do you like? This? Is my other thing. It's like, 1633 02:06:25,399 --> 02:06:30,479 okay, do you want the dumb, uneducated, brainless, can't stand 1634 02:06:30,600 --> 02:06:33,439 up for themselves, don't have a spine, never had their own opinion in 1635 02:06:33,520 --> 02:06:38,680 their life. People to be the ones making all the babies. Is that 1636 02:06:38,760 --> 02:06:44,319 what you want? Or do you want like capable, competent, virtuous, 1637 02:06:44,399 --> 02:06:48,800 godly women doing that stuff? And yes, when I find a great man 1638 02:06:48,920 --> 02:06:53,319 like my husband, where I go to church and there are my elders and 1639 02:06:53,399 --> 02:06:58,439 my priests, or like I do have a good father, Yes, in 1640 02:06:58,760 --> 02:07:02,119 the vast majority of situations, I will defer to them if like there's some 1641 02:07:02,319 --> 02:07:05,760 kind of conflict because I do have the trust and because they have proven that 1642 02:07:05,840 --> 02:07:12,720 they're responsible and all these things. It's it's a whole package that comes together. 1643 02:07:13,359 --> 02:07:16,439 You can't just say submit in all situations to anybody, you know with 1644 02:07:16,640 --> 02:07:21,159 male chromosomes. That's silly, you know, it's so funny. Um is 1645 02:07:21,199 --> 02:07:27,439 like the Orthodox Church is the keeper of tradition, yes, right, and 1646 02:07:28,199 --> 02:07:32,479 they are not even as weird as these trad guys. Yeah, it's like 1647 02:07:32,720 --> 02:07:39,239 the creative Catholic right wing trad people online that are the most insane in my 1648 02:07:39,399 --> 02:07:44,439 experience. So sometimes some of the Southern Baptists, really strict people can be 1649 02:07:44,560 --> 02:07:53,479 like that too. So in a lot of ways, Um, in actuality, 1650 02:07:53,960 --> 02:08:00,520 the church invented marriage, yeah right, yeah, And addition, and 1651 02:08:00,600 --> 02:08:07,039 we're the keepers of this and the standards are not even as weird as the 1652 02:08:07,840 --> 02:08:11,920 the trad cosplay guys. He's like my first priest. His wife had a 1653 02:08:11,039 --> 02:08:18,159 job, she was a doctor or something like a prestigious and all the women 1654 02:08:18,319 --> 02:08:22,960 had other interests. They had hobbies, they had like lives out, they 1655 02:08:24,000 --> 02:08:26,760 had children, and yeah, a husband, but they also had what they 1656 02:08:28,039 --> 02:08:31,600 were good at doing. So yeah. And I tell people all the time 1657 02:08:31,680 --> 02:08:37,159 too, because they'll be like, because you're a mom and you're writing a 1658 02:08:37,359 --> 02:08:41,920 book, got you right? And I'm like, okay, well, when 1659 02:08:41,960 --> 02:08:46,159 they were all infants, I wasn't writing a book. Now that the youngest 1660 02:08:46,199 --> 02:08:50,119 one is ten and half of them are moved out and I'm much older, 1661 02:08:50,720 --> 02:08:54,640 Yes, I'm in a different phase of my life where I do get to 1662 02:08:54,680 --> 02:08:56,479 do a lot of other things. Now. I think when you're a mother 1663 02:08:56,600 --> 02:09:01,359 of a bunch of young kids, to try to have a full time career 1664 02:09:01,439 --> 02:09:05,720 outside the home doesn't work very well. It's detrimental to the children. Kids 1665 02:09:05,800 --> 02:09:09,560 need a full time mom. It's not a nights and weekends gig. It 1666 02:09:09,640 --> 02:09:11,840 doesn't mean you can't have things you do, or have things you're good at, 1667 02:09:13,359 --> 02:09:18,279 or even be developing those skills and talents for down the road when your 1668 02:09:18,359 --> 02:09:20,880 kids are grown up and moved out. That's what I did. There's nothing 1669 02:09:20,920 --> 02:09:24,720 wrong with that. I think you do women this service when you say they're 1670 02:09:24,800 --> 02:09:30,680 only good as mothers or wives, because what happens when the kids are grown 1671 02:09:30,800 --> 02:09:35,880 and they don't need anymore that then your life has no like pizzas or meaning 1672 02:09:35,000 --> 02:09:37,680 or and you get really sad and depressed and like what is my purpose? 1673 02:09:37,720 --> 02:09:41,640 I'd just like sit here and wait from them to call. Well, that's 1674 02:09:41,760 --> 02:09:45,079 whether than to have brand babies or whatever. Yeah. The other thing that's 1675 02:09:45,119 --> 02:09:50,920 so great about Orthodoxy is like it's very very much a community, So like 1676 02:09:50,800 --> 02:09:54,760 it was great when we had more women who were able to take care of 1677 02:09:54,840 --> 02:10:01,239 elderly and sick people, volunteer for church stuff, would all the events together. 1678 02:10:01,479 --> 02:10:03,800 I mean I've been to a number of Orthodox events this year that would 1679 02:10:03,840 --> 02:10:09,680 not have happened if the women of the church weren't literally organizing and doing all 1680 02:10:09,720 --> 02:10:13,079 the work to make all that stuff happen. And they do a great job 1681 02:10:13,159 --> 02:10:18,439 at it. It's it's one thing to like. This girl I was debating 1682 02:10:18,600 --> 02:10:24,399 was like, I'll see you just sit around your house and let your husband 1683 02:10:24,520 --> 02:10:28,560 pay for stuff and just be lazy. And I was like, you're debating 1684 02:10:28,640 --> 02:10:31,600 me right now, does it seem like I do that? Does it seem 1685 02:10:31,680 --> 02:10:35,600 like I'm that way? And she was like, well no, but that's 1686 02:10:35,680 --> 02:10:37,359 my point. Hold on, my dog's trying to get out. Okay, 1687 02:10:41,119 --> 02:10:52,760 So now that we're talking about traditions and standards, let's talk about some standards 1688 02:10:52,079 --> 02:10:58,039 that women and men have. This one girl thinking of blew up on TikTok 1689 02:10:58,199 --> 02:11:05,399 because she was like, I have high standards and if you're gonna ask me 1690 02:11:05,439 --> 02:11:07,000 out, you're gonna take me to a restaurant where we're gonna sit down and 1691 02:11:07,079 --> 02:11:09,079 have a nice meal. I'm not going to go on a walk with you. 1692 02:11:09,199 --> 02:11:11,199 I'm not a dog. I don't want to have coffee. I can 1693 02:11:11,239 --> 02:11:15,920 make my own coffee. You know, she's beautiful. She could have the 1694 02:11:16,159 --> 02:11:22,279 standards that she wants. And everyone was like all over her for having a 1695 02:11:22,560 --> 02:11:26,359 standard of just like I would like to have a dinner date instead of you 1696 02:11:26,439 --> 02:11:28,880 know, a drink or coffee, and they're just be rating her. And 1697 02:11:28,960 --> 02:11:35,119 I'm like, she's allowed to have standards, yeah right that I don't think 1698 02:11:35,199 --> 02:11:41,239 that's way too much to ask of a potential partner. Is liked to have 1699 02:11:41,359 --> 02:11:46,800 a nice dinner, and she just got a lot of flat for them. 1700 02:11:46,840 --> 02:11:50,640 I feel bad. I'm like, let her, you know, just because 1701 02:11:50,680 --> 02:11:54,479 you don't live up to those standards. That's her business, right, Yea. 1702 02:11:54,720 --> 02:11:56,960 Not every woman has to lower their standards and put the bar in hell 1703 02:11:58,359 --> 02:12:01,560 so that you can have a girlfriend, you know, and live in your 1704 02:12:01,640 --> 02:12:07,079 mom's basement and eat your chicken tendees and play World of Warcraft. Yeah, 1705 02:12:09,680 --> 02:12:13,000 yeah, I agree with that. I mean, I don't think women have 1706 02:12:13,079 --> 02:12:16,439 two high standards. I think their standards are like messed up. I think 1707 02:12:16,600 --> 02:12:22,720 that they give We could talk about gold diggers in a second. I think 1708 02:12:22,920 --> 02:12:28,600 when that's the case, it's so comically obvious that if you can't see that, 1709 02:12:28,039 --> 02:12:33,560 then you're not looking very hard. Yeah, you know, like it's 1710 02:12:33,760 --> 02:12:37,520 very Anna Unicole Smith, like so in your face that this woman only wants 1711 02:12:37,560 --> 02:12:43,359 your money, and that's just not the case most of the time. And 1712 02:12:43,640 --> 02:12:48,720 I think guys are getting some weird standards as well, because this guy went 1713 02:12:48,880 --> 02:12:54,840 viral on his podcast and he said, if my wife has kids and gets 1714 02:12:54,920 --> 02:12:58,199 bat I'm gonna tell her once and if she doesn't lose weight, I'm leaving 1715 02:12:58,279 --> 02:13:05,640 her. Well, I've had five kids and I'm I'm losing weight right now, 1716 02:13:05,880 --> 02:13:09,399 and it's just life is not that simple, buddy, like, oh 1717 02:13:09,520 --> 02:13:13,359 well, but this is again, it's like people don't People say this insane 1718 02:13:13,439 --> 02:13:18,680 stuff and they have no idea what it's like raising a family, especially nowadays. 1719 02:13:18,720 --> 02:13:22,000 But it's always been hard. It's always been hard when you have a 1720 02:13:22,039 --> 02:13:28,239 bunch of kids. And it's like sometimes your spouse gets sick, sometimes they 1721 02:13:28,319 --> 02:13:31,680 go through something really difficult and they gain So like I gained a bunch of 1722 02:13:31,760 --> 02:13:37,560 weight when my son passed away, and I don't hate myself for it at 1723 02:13:37,560 --> 02:13:41,720 all, because it's like, if all I did was eat more ice cream 1724 02:13:41,760 --> 02:13:46,600 and pasta and that's as bad as it got, I'm a freaking hero because 1725 02:13:46,600 --> 02:13:50,439 I didn't crawl into a whiskey bottle, I didn't cope with pills. I 1726 02:13:50,520 --> 02:13:54,720 didn't run away like, I didn't end up in a padded room or any 1727 02:13:54,760 --> 02:13:56,720 of that stuff. And it's like, if I've got thirty pounds to lose, 1728 02:13:56,800 --> 02:14:01,319 oh well, and Andrew could care less because he's like he just sees 1729 02:14:01,399 --> 02:14:05,359 that as like this amazing thing that I was able to survive that and stay 1730 02:14:05,680 --> 02:14:11,159 in the family and hold everything together with him, for the kids and stuff. 1731 02:14:11,159 --> 02:14:15,159 So it's like, life is real, dude. It's not gonna be 1732 02:14:16,239 --> 02:14:20,399 some sitcom where your wife is just gonna look hot forever and you're gonna be 1733 02:14:20,479 --> 02:14:24,680 perfect and she's gonna be perfect and you can predict the future. It's not 1734 02:14:24,800 --> 02:14:28,479 like that. Well, so I'm thinking, okay, dude, that's your 1735 02:14:28,520 --> 02:14:33,840 standard. But what is the criteria for her to be able to leave you? 1736 02:14:35,760 --> 02:14:39,840 Yeah? If she gets fat? What if you get bald? Yeah? 1737 02:14:39,680 --> 02:14:45,119 What if you lose your job? What if you are in a horrible 1738 02:14:45,319 --> 02:14:48,439 accident and your leg is crushing you can't walk anymore? Like, is she 1739 02:14:48,760 --> 02:14:56,680 now allowed to leave you by your own standards? Because you know so it's 1740 02:14:56,760 --> 02:15:00,960 so immature, and these people get so much traction. It blows my mind 1741 02:15:01,000 --> 02:15:05,479 that how many people are agreeing with this guy, like your wife getting fat 1742 02:15:05,600 --> 02:15:09,520 is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. Now, I think 1743 02:15:09,800 --> 02:15:13,720 it's not really about like the getting fat. It's more like, so, 1744 02:15:15,479 --> 02:15:22,479 let's say you had a wife who this is something that happens a lot where 1745 02:15:22,720 --> 02:15:24,720 she just stops sleeping with you. You get married, and she just stops 1746 02:15:24,760 --> 02:15:28,119 doing that, and she's just decides she's gonna sit on the couch and eat 1747 02:15:28,199 --> 02:15:33,479 cheetos and be lazy and whatever that might happen. Like, the problem with 1748 02:15:33,600 --> 02:15:37,039 that is not necessarily the weight. It's the fact that she doesn't care about 1749 02:15:37,239 --> 02:15:41,439 the husband. Like she's just checked out, right, She's basically checked out 1750 02:15:41,479 --> 02:15:46,119 of the marriage. She's not a good example for the kids. She's not 1751 02:15:46,239 --> 02:15:50,880 contributing anything at all to the household or the relationship. Things like that I 1752 02:15:52,000 --> 02:15:56,680 can totally see. But it's like, Okay, having kids, a lot 1753 02:15:56,760 --> 02:16:01,800 of us gain weight. And have you ever tried like dieting and going to 1754 02:16:01,880 --> 02:16:05,479 the gym when you've got like a baby stuck to your boob and toddlers running 1755 02:16:05,520 --> 02:16:09,640 around and like, well, okay, I think if she had the potential 1756 02:16:09,720 --> 02:16:13,880 to turn into a couch creature, he that's something he could have seen when 1757 02:16:13,920 --> 02:16:16,960 they were dating, if he was looking hard enough, or it would just 1758 02:16:18,159 --> 02:16:22,399 be like it wouldn't even be like, oh, I'm divorcing you because you're 1759 02:16:22,399 --> 02:16:24,720 fat. It would be like, what's going on with you? Are you 1760 02:16:24,880 --> 02:16:28,319 depressed? Or you like, well, why are you just checked out of 1761 02:16:28,359 --> 02:16:33,280 life right now? I think a lot of women lose themselves and their looks 1762 02:16:33,319 --> 02:16:37,520 because they're putting themselves last, and they're taking care of everybody but themselves. 1763 02:16:37,440 --> 02:16:43,239 They don't have time because looking hot or whatever your standard is takes a lot 1764 02:16:43,319 --> 02:16:46,000 of time. You have to exercise, you have to be disciplined, and 1765 02:16:46,040 --> 02:16:48,559 you're eating, you have to have a skincare of routine, you have to 1766 02:16:48,760 --> 02:16:52,479 like all know, all this nutrition. It is like a part time job 1767 02:16:52,680 --> 02:16:58,280 to look a certain way, right, a high maintenance way, right. 1768 02:16:58,399 --> 02:17:01,559 And that's why, again, the root of all this stuff is, like 1769 02:17:01,680 --> 02:17:05,959 what's marriage for. It's not for just like your pleasure, okay, And 1770 02:17:07,319 --> 02:17:11,600 we have the society that is just so oriented towards pleasure seeking, and like 1771 02:17:13,120 --> 02:17:20,200 that's what utilitarianism is, this utilitarian morality that's so popular now with like this 1772 02:17:20,479 --> 02:17:24,239 younger generation. They're all super into it. They're all a bunch of utilitarian 1773 02:17:24,399 --> 02:17:28,520 vegans or whatever, and they really are like whatever does the least harm and 1774 02:17:28,600 --> 02:17:33,799 brings the most pleasure. And it's like, no, that's never going to 1775 02:17:33,920 --> 02:17:37,000 work. That's and you can tell that these people have never liked had to 1776 02:17:37,040 --> 02:17:39,399 go out and live life because if you had to try to raise a family 1777 02:17:39,479 --> 02:17:43,639 together, you could never do things based around least harm, most pleasure. 1778 02:17:45,239 --> 02:17:50,680 Imagine if I oriented my day around what brought me the most pleasure. No, 1779 02:17:50,959 --> 02:17:56,079 I oriented over what brings the most meaning and the most value. And 1780 02:17:56,200 --> 02:18:01,040 it is selvific, like you said, But we we don't live in a 1781 02:18:01,120 --> 02:18:05,399 society. We live in a society that laughs at us for being Orthodox Christians 1782 02:18:05,479 --> 02:18:09,959 and thinks it's weird and stupid and stuff like that. So there it is 1783 02:18:11,079 --> 02:18:13,319 like pleasure seeking. So it's like, well, if I'm going to get 1784 02:18:13,399 --> 02:18:18,040 married, it's so that I can get tax breaks and have regular sex and 1785 02:18:20,079 --> 02:18:22,840 you know, somebody to make me food or for the woman. It might 1786 02:18:22,879 --> 02:18:26,200 be like because I want someone to pay all my bills and I don't like 1787 02:18:26,399 --> 02:18:33,120 working or whatever. So these like empty people are gonna say this insane stuff, 1788 02:18:33,360 --> 02:18:35,440 and apparently there's a lot of empty people watching them who agree with it. 1789 02:18:37,559 --> 02:18:43,879 It's crazy. So, okay, gold diggers, this is a big 1790 02:18:43,879 --> 02:18:48,120 thing with guys. They do not want to be financially taken advantage of, 1791 02:18:48,799 --> 02:18:54,159 right. But it's like, like I said, if you have a woman 1792 02:18:54,200 --> 02:19:00,520 who's a gold digger, you can pretty much spot her very easily. But 1793 02:19:00,799 --> 02:19:05,680 guys who do not have a lot of money and still try to date are 1794 02:19:05,760 --> 02:19:13,440 miserable. They're miserable like Oscar the Grouch because they're broke, they feel they're 1795 02:19:15,600 --> 02:19:20,239 A man has to be self actualized in his purpose. He has to feel 1796 02:19:20,360 --> 02:19:24,079 successful, he has to feel confident. He has to do these things that 1797 02:19:24,440 --> 02:19:28,639 are hard to build up his muscle. And girls have a different way of 1798 02:19:28,239 --> 02:19:35,399 existing. But a guy who and it's only like broke guys who worry about 1799 02:19:35,479 --> 02:19:39,920 gold diggers for some reason. Like the guys with money know that it costs 1800 02:19:41,000 --> 02:19:46,760 money to do things, but guys who are broke and they're unhappy with themselves 1801 02:19:46,840 --> 02:19:54,639 for one. Yeah, and so they're going to treat the women badly because 1802 02:19:54,719 --> 02:20:01,319 they're just so miserable in themselves. Means those guys don't even often like get 1803 02:20:01,440 --> 02:20:09,399 past the first date because like the self loathing, bitter, complaining, whiny 1804 02:20:09,520 --> 02:20:13,799 guys, like I said, we see them like a mile away and it's 1805 02:20:13,799 --> 02:20:18,959 just like okay, it's just like how we need men to be competent and 1806 02:20:18,120 --> 02:20:24,200 men need to be respected. Like this is like probably my top relationship tip 1807 02:20:24,479 --> 02:20:30,280 is like women need to be heard and empathized with and all of that stuff, 1808 02:20:30,319 --> 02:20:33,200 but men like they really do need respect, Like they need to feel 1809 02:20:33,879 --> 02:20:39,120 like we trust that they are competent and we respect them and like they're capable, 1810 02:20:39,280 --> 02:20:43,399 Like I know for sure with like the men in my life, it's 1811 02:20:43,479 --> 02:20:46,159 like that if they feel like you think they're incompetent, it's like a huge 1812 02:20:46,360 --> 02:20:50,920 crushing blow to their self esteem. And it makes sense to me because we 1813 02:20:50,079 --> 02:20:54,239 do expect men to build and maintain the modern world, right, but no 1814 02:20:54,360 --> 02:20:58,600 one's teaching them how to act with integrity in a way. That's the thing 1815 02:20:58,719 --> 02:21:01,520 is they just think that they deserve it. Yeah, they're like, well 1816 02:21:01,559 --> 02:21:03,120 but I'm a man, and it's like but are you though, so like, 1817 02:21:03,719 --> 02:21:07,040 yeah, there's standard. There should be standards for both sexes, Like 1818 02:21:07,239 --> 02:21:15,639 women should be expected to behave a certain way and have certain virtues and be 1819 02:21:15,799 --> 02:21:20,360 moral, and men should be expected to be moral and have certain virtues and 1820 02:21:20,440 --> 02:21:24,719 behave a certain way. Both should have standards. And it's like you're always 1821 02:21:24,719 --> 02:21:28,840 going to have people that fall way short of the standard and either don't get 1822 02:21:28,920 --> 02:21:33,159 to reproduce, or if they do, it's kind of a shi t show, 1823 02:21:33,239 --> 02:21:37,040 Like you said, yeah, and there's always going to be those people. 1824 02:21:37,760 --> 02:21:43,959 But for us normal average folks, it's like men should be looking for 1825 02:21:43,479 --> 02:21:48,920 someone who's going to be a good, trustworthy, loyal wife and or mother 1826 02:21:50,319 --> 02:21:54,639 who you know, little things like she doesn't embarrass me in public, she 1827 02:21:54,799 --> 02:22:01,360 doesn't talk down to me in front of people, she doesn't cheat with the 1828 02:22:01,479 --> 02:22:05,159 neighbor. She's not sitting in the hot tub with her boobies floating for money 1829 02:22:05,200 --> 02:22:09,879 on Twitch, like basic stuff like that. And then of course, like 1830 02:22:09,120 --> 02:22:13,120 nobody should be abusing, nobody should be narcissistic. And then for the men 1831 02:22:13,200 --> 02:22:16,600 it should be like, well, yeah, if you want a wife and 1832 02:22:16,680 --> 02:22:20,680 a family, you are going to have to provide, at least to some 1833 02:22:20,840 --> 02:22:24,799 degree. You can't just like be a freeloader, CouchSurfing loser and expect that 1834 02:22:24,920 --> 02:22:28,479 women are going to flock to you wanting to have your babies. That doesn't 1835 02:22:28,479 --> 02:22:33,360 even make any sense, Like why why would anyone do that to themselves? 1836 02:22:33,440 --> 02:22:39,239 So, I don't know where people get these weird expectations other than that there's 1837 02:22:39,319 --> 02:22:43,600 just so much dysfunction out there and so many people are raised with it that 1838 02:22:45,360 --> 02:22:48,040 people don't I don't think people even understand what the hell's going on with any 1839 02:22:48,079 --> 02:22:50,639 of this stuff. Oh they don't, lot of them, they don't. 1840 02:22:50,760 --> 02:22:56,760 That's why we're here trying to work it out. So let's move on to 1841 02:22:56,920 --> 02:23:03,719 cheating, because this is some thing. It's so bad, y'all. It's 1842 02:23:03,760 --> 02:23:05,920 so bad. It's so bad, and I don't get it. I don't 1843 02:23:07,000 --> 02:23:09,280 get it either. I don't get it, and someone needs to help me 1844 02:23:09,399 --> 02:23:18,399 understand because I just I brought this so cheating um Adam Levine and Supermodel do 1845 02:23:18,440 --> 02:23:26,000 you remember that story? Yeah, So apparently nobody's safe to get cheated on. 1846 02:23:26,799 --> 02:23:31,120 No Gwence the funnies X has been cheated on her with some nanny dude. 1847 02:23:31,200 --> 02:23:33,719 There's a curse that they call like the Oscar curse, Like every time 1848 02:23:33,920 --> 02:23:37,680 a married lady wins the Oscar, her husband's cheating on her, like as 1849 02:23:37,760 --> 02:23:45,639 she's receiving the statue like on stage. That's insane. And then Florida lineman, 1850 02:23:45,799 --> 02:23:48,520 remember the hurricane that just happened in Florida. Yeah, so apparently all 1851 02:23:48,559 --> 02:23:56,360 the there's this thing like called bucket bunnies. So when linemen go across the 1852 02:23:56,440 --> 02:24:01,399 country for an emergency, they all cheat on their wives because they're traveling, 1853 02:24:01,520 --> 02:24:07,559 and the ladies that chase the linemen up in the buckets are called bucket bunnies, 1854 02:24:07,959 --> 02:24:13,280 kind of like the rodeo dudes have buckle bunnies. Yes, and the 1855 02:24:13,440 --> 02:24:20,719 truckers have lot lizards. So there's a thing that's weird because I do not 1856 02:24:20,879 --> 02:24:24,319 understand the psychology of the cheater, and I do not understand the psychology of 1857 02:24:24,399 --> 02:24:28,680 the person that is the spare person that they're cheating with, because I don't 1858 02:24:28,760 --> 02:24:35,079 either it good as a disloyal person. So I was watching like these therapists 1859 02:24:35,079 --> 02:24:39,440 and stock talk about cheaters because I used to like not have a soft spot, 1860 02:24:39,479 --> 02:24:43,399 but like have like a more Okay, maybe their partner wasn't fulfilling their 1861 02:24:43,479 --> 02:24:46,600 needs and they just had to cheat or whatever. But now that I'm older, 1862 02:24:46,680 --> 02:24:52,079 I'm like, no, that's not how adults solve problems. That's not 1863 02:24:52,239 --> 02:24:56,879 how you get your needs met. Yeah, lying and cheat, I just 1864 02:24:56,000 --> 02:25:01,840 couldn't do it, Like I've I've always said this, eat myself up if 1865 02:25:01,920 --> 02:25:03,399 I lied and cheated, Like I just couldn't. I couldn't. Yeah, 1866 02:25:03,399 --> 02:25:07,799 how do people just like literally be like I'll get up and brush my teeth 1867 02:25:07,840 --> 02:25:13,200 and then I'll have some breakfast and then I'll go, I'm screw my person 1868 02:25:13,360 --> 02:25:16,559 that I'm cheating on my wife with in my car before I go to work. 1869 02:25:16,639 --> 02:25:20,399 Like, how do people just plan their day like that because so many 1870 02:25:20,440 --> 02:25:26,000 of them do. It starts with soft cheating and micro cheating and not having 1871 02:25:26,239 --> 02:25:30,639 strong boundaries like having work wives or work husbands. Have you heard of that? 1872 02:25:30,879 --> 02:25:35,959 Yes? I have. Okay, so people that you go to in 1873 02:25:35,159 --> 02:25:41,799 lieu of your spouse for emotional support and having their needs met. And like 1874 02:25:43,760 --> 02:25:50,120 this guy was talking about where the most cheating happens, and it's at work. 1875 02:25:50,120 --> 02:25:56,440 Yeah, so okay, let me finish them. Has my husband has 1876 02:25:56,479 --> 02:26:00,639 a fun saying for that? Yeah, Doggie is talking. Sorry, he 1877 02:26:00,799 --> 02:26:05,159 says, a shoulder to cry on becomes a you know what to ride on. 1878 02:26:05,559 --> 02:26:07,840 Yes, that's so true. And like so he's like the most of 1879 02:26:07,879 --> 02:26:13,159 the cheating happens at work because you see your spouse way less than you see 1880 02:26:13,200 --> 02:26:16,639 the people at work, and they see you like doing cool things. They 1881 02:26:16,680 --> 02:26:20,799 see you overcoming obstacles and victories, and you're dressed nice and you're giving your 1882 02:26:20,920 --> 02:26:26,120 best right yeah all, and you just like drop it all on the floor 1883 02:26:26,239 --> 02:26:31,920 and like expect to be catered to or whatever. And so he said the 1884 02:26:31,000 --> 02:26:39,760 second place where people cheat is at church. So it's basically wherever you would 1885 02:26:39,760 --> 02:26:46,479 come in contact with people the most is the pool of cheaters. And it's 1886 02:26:46,520 --> 02:26:50,120 just like a human thing, like the more opportunities that you have, the 1887 02:26:50,200 --> 02:26:54,879 more likely it is that you are going to cheat. And so he was 1888 02:26:54,920 --> 02:26:58,520 making the case, well, like husbands and wives need to as best they 1889 02:26:58,559 --> 02:27:07,399 can work together and eliminate just extra contact with people that's not necessary. Yeah, 1890 02:27:07,639 --> 02:27:11,600 it's like the Mike Pence rule. Do you remember the Mike Pence rule. 1891 02:27:11,280 --> 02:27:16,520 Okay, Mike Pence said when he was running with Trump that he had 1892 02:27:16,559 --> 02:27:20,920 a rule that he never was alone with any other women besides his wife. 1893 02:27:20,959 --> 02:27:26,159 He didn't go to dinners with a woman for business. He didn't like go 1894 02:27:26,559 --> 02:27:31,120 to you know, business things or meetings or anything. He was never just 1895 02:27:31,360 --> 02:27:35,200 alone with anyone else besides his wife. And the left like absolutely went insane. 1896 02:27:35,239 --> 02:27:39,159 All the feminists went insane. It was like he's insane, he's crazy. 1897 02:27:39,200 --> 02:27:41,040 Oh, you can't be around other people without cheating. What's wrong with 1898 02:27:41,120 --> 02:27:46,719 the creepy perbet Andy does that? He's like, I don't. He used 1899 02:27:46,760 --> 02:27:50,319 to work in a factory where there was all these other women who were like 1900 02:27:50,479 --> 02:27:54,719 assembly line workers and he was like a maintenance engineer guy, and they'd always 1901 02:27:54,760 --> 02:27:56,159 want to like sit with him and have lunch and he'd be like, no, 1902 02:27:56,360 --> 02:28:00,520 sorry, I don't I'm gonna sit over here. You know. I'd 1903 02:28:00,520 --> 02:28:03,440 be like why, what's wrong with you? And he was just like, 1904 02:28:03,639 --> 02:28:07,280 look, if i continually put myself in positions where I'm exposed to, like, 1905 02:28:07,879 --> 02:28:13,760 you know, women who might have a motivation to try to like slowly 1906 02:28:13,120 --> 02:28:16,479 like you said, soft cheating, like slowly sucked me in. Or he's 1907 02:28:16,479 --> 02:28:18,840 like, I just don't want to even be in that situation. Yeah, 1908 02:28:18,959 --> 02:28:24,799 it's not because he likes like, oh no, I'm just resisting the urge 1909 02:28:24,840 --> 02:28:26,200 to cheat every minute of my life. It was just like, why would 1910 02:28:26,239 --> 02:28:30,879 I do that to my Why would I put myself in a position where I'm 1911 02:28:30,879 --> 02:28:33,559 going to be bombarded with stuff like that. It's just unnecessary and why would 1912 02:28:33,559 --> 02:28:37,159 I do it? It begs the question what is cheating? Is it the 1913 02:28:37,280 --> 02:28:43,040 act of intercourse or does it begin before that? And I see it kind 1914 02:28:43,079 --> 02:28:46,280 of like a pregnancy in a way. I don't this is that a weird 1915 02:28:46,360 --> 02:28:52,200 way to put it, But it's like, you know, it's a zygote 1916 02:28:52,239 --> 02:28:58,479 and then it's a fetus and then it's born like you started it way back 1917 02:28:58,600 --> 02:29:01,280 then, and it grew for nine months and then you had this set like 1918 02:29:01,440 --> 02:29:07,920 you were cheating back then. Yeah. Right, yeah, and like we 1919 02:29:07,000 --> 02:29:11,000 were talking about p r N is like the worst thing that ever happened to 1920 02:29:11,040 --> 02:29:15,879 human race. Yeah, social media is destroying monogamy because you feel like you 1921 02:29:15,959 --> 02:29:20,159 can just like order up another one. Yeah, you feel like there's endless 1922 02:29:20,200 --> 02:29:24,000 options, yes, which is that's not in reality. It's like a fake 1923 02:29:24,120 --> 02:29:30,399 thing. So this person was talking about cheaters and they kind of like put 1924 02:29:30,479 --> 02:29:35,040 it like this, They're like, this is the cheating person and their motivations. 1925 02:29:35,159 --> 02:29:39,799 It's not because this person is a failure at all. It's not because 1926 02:29:39,799 --> 02:29:41,760 they're not a supermodel. We all know that from Adam Levine, we all 1927 02:29:41,799 --> 02:29:46,399 know that from Chasell and whatever is happening. It's not because they're not attractive 1928 02:29:46,520 --> 02:29:52,000 enough, not because they're not fun enough. There's the problem is this person 1929 02:29:52,200 --> 02:29:58,280 and the whole in depth? Right? Oh yeah, So this cheater is 1930 02:29:58,319 --> 02:30:05,760 addicted to validation yep. Right. It's not enough to be loved by one 1931 02:30:05,799 --> 02:30:09,719 person, right, to be liked and admired and loved all that narcissistic supply, 1932 02:30:11,440 --> 02:30:16,319 right, So they're addicted to flirting and the external validation that comes from 1933 02:30:16,319 --> 02:30:20,040 feeling attractive. Yeah, it's that dopamine hit of like, oh she's flirting 1934 02:30:20,120 --> 02:30:24,000 back, or oh she answered my DM, or I sent her a pick 1935 02:30:24,079 --> 02:30:28,399 and she sent me back a racier pick and that kind of thing. Yeah, 1936 02:30:30,600 --> 02:30:35,639 they have low self worth because they need that external supply because they don't 1937 02:30:35,639 --> 02:30:41,360 have it within themselves to have integrity and it's not enough. Um. Yeah, 1938 02:30:41,399 --> 02:30:45,200 they're just not okay to down their own with with one good relationship, 1939 02:30:45,239 --> 02:30:50,040 it's like they, yeah, be selfish. That's pretty much self explanatory. 1940 02:30:50,479 --> 02:30:58,200 They lack integrity and accountability, right, So they're the ones who are doing 1941 02:30:58,239 --> 02:31:01,319 the marker cheating. They're the ones who's like, it was just lunch, 1942 02:31:01,440 --> 02:31:03,799 Why are you so crazy? It was just a meme. I just sent 1943 02:31:03,879 --> 02:31:09,239 her a funny picture. Why are you freaking out? Like integrity man? 1944 02:31:09,799 --> 02:31:15,159 Yeah, and then like a picture on Instagram? You're crazy? You're insecure. 1945 02:31:15,600 --> 02:31:18,239 Yeah, So this has happened to me with a person that's everything on 1946 02:31:18,360 --> 02:31:24,200 the list, and he admitted that he needs that like external validation. Like 1947 02:31:24,280 --> 02:31:28,239 I just want to see if I can get her. It's not that I 1948 02:31:28,319 --> 02:31:30,840 care about her or I don't care. I just want to see if I 1949 02:31:30,959 --> 02:31:31,920 can I want to see if I can get the response. I want to 1950 02:31:31,959 --> 02:31:37,399 see if I can get the validation. And it was always like it would 1951 02:31:37,440 --> 02:31:41,040 start with, um, yeah, but like why are you so crazy? 1952 02:31:41,159 --> 02:31:46,399 Are you? Why are you jealous? And then caught him red handed and 1953 02:31:46,559 --> 02:31:48,920 he would accuse me of doing it. That's what they all do. Yeah, 1954 02:31:48,959 --> 02:31:52,600 he'd be like, I did not, You're crazy. You're saying that 1955 02:31:52,680 --> 02:31:56,639 because you did it, Like I literally just walked in on it. But 1956 02:31:56,959 --> 02:32:01,639 still like, even in that situation, the person will try to tell you 1957 02:32:01,760 --> 02:32:03,440 that you're the one cheating even though you walked in on it. I know 1958 02:32:03,719 --> 02:32:07,680 nobody will accuse you of more things than the person who's actually doing that shit. 1959 02:32:07,159 --> 02:32:16,000 Yeah, so crazy. They take their partner for granted, right, 1960 02:32:16,159 --> 02:32:18,600 They think they're always going to be there no matter what, and they can 1961 02:32:18,680 --> 02:32:24,079 just do whatever. They have no boundaries. Yeah, I feel like that's 1962 02:32:24,120 --> 02:32:28,840 a really huge one with a lot of people, so many people. Why 1963 02:32:28,879 --> 02:32:35,360 are you liking thirst raps on Instagram? Why are you like scrolling? Why? 1964 02:32:35,520 --> 02:32:39,959 Why why are you doing that? You don't have time in life to 1965 02:32:39,840 --> 02:32:46,440 explain to a grown person why that's disrespectful? No, And there was even 1966 02:32:46,719 --> 02:32:52,360 a Saturday Live skit about Instagram and it was called why'd you like it? 1967 02:32:52,040 --> 02:32:58,879 And they would like show a picture to the contestant and like they'd have to 1968 02:32:58,000 --> 02:33:03,639 explain why they liked the picture. And it always came back to because I 1969 02:33:03,719 --> 02:33:07,840 hoped that that we could hook up, you know, all the excuses they 1970 02:33:07,879 --> 02:33:11,280 gave I like yoga girl, you know, I like whatever. I'm interested 1971 02:33:11,319 --> 02:33:13,200 in rock climbing and she just happened to be a girl rock climbing. No, 1972 02:33:13,520 --> 02:33:18,120 you like it? I thought you would hook up. So these are 1973 02:33:18,200 --> 02:33:24,360 like just the bare bones of a cheating heart there. Yeah, And it's 1974 02:33:24,399 --> 02:33:31,440 like it's so insidious because only the cheater knows for sure what's in the heart, 1975 02:33:31,760 --> 02:33:35,079 Like, yeah, well you could be doing innocuous things, but it 1976 02:33:35,200 --> 02:33:39,040 could also be micro cheating, right, Yeah. And the thing is, 1977 02:33:39,120 --> 02:33:41,639 I think I figured that out because this happened when I was really young, 1978 02:33:43,559 --> 02:33:46,280 and I think I figured it out because I was, like me being a 1979 02:33:46,479 --> 02:33:50,239 rational not crazy person, I was like, if you want to sleep with 1980 02:33:50,319 --> 02:33:54,959 other people, like why don't you just date a bunch of people, Like 1981 02:33:54,159 --> 02:33:58,239 why would you get in a relationship with me? Knowing that I would never 1982 02:33:58,319 --> 02:34:03,239 approve of that? And I want to be totally exclusive and that monogamy is 1983 02:34:03,239 --> 02:34:07,040 important to me. Why would you do that if you just want to sleep 1984 02:34:07,079 --> 02:34:11,159 with other people? You could easily just not date me, bro, if 1985 02:34:11,239 --> 02:34:15,760 you could just not And then so then you have to think to yourself, 1986 02:34:15,959 --> 02:34:18,360 Okay, well, there's got to be other reasons, right, There's got 1987 02:34:18,479 --> 02:34:24,079 to be a reason why they insist on being in a monogamous relationship with me 1988 02:34:24,559 --> 02:34:26,760 that they also insist on going outside of there's something going on. And then 1989 02:34:26,799 --> 02:34:30,959 you do start to find all those things on that list, and you start 1990 02:34:31,000 --> 02:34:35,920 to figure that out. Don't want you because then they have to compete with 1991 02:34:35,000 --> 02:34:39,159 their ego and other men, and they don't want that. So they want 1992 02:34:39,200 --> 02:34:43,559 to lock you down and make sure you're not cheating because if you had an 1993 02:34:43,600 --> 02:34:48,040 open relationship or you had this understanding where you're going to date other people or 1994 02:34:48,079 --> 02:34:52,040 sleep around or whatever, then they have to compete with that, right. 1995 02:34:52,200 --> 02:34:56,680 Oh no. And this person was like also insanely jealous and paranoid, Like 1996 02:34:56,879 --> 02:35:01,479 somebody literally texted me to They were like a neighbor that was new in town, 1997 02:35:01,520 --> 02:35:03,920 and they were like, do you know of a good place to go 1998 02:35:05,079 --> 02:35:07,280 skiing? And I was like, no, I'm from Michigan. I don't 1999 02:35:07,280 --> 02:35:11,799 really ski and they were like, oh okay, And that was like a 2000 02:35:11,920 --> 02:35:16,920 full blown like breaking stuff, smashing things because I was cheating because somebody a 2001 02:35:16,000 --> 02:35:20,719 neighbor asked me that. Well, at the same time he's like doing the 2002 02:35:20,799 --> 02:35:24,799 stuff. So yeah, it's like a classic projection. Yeah, and they 2003 02:35:24,920 --> 02:35:28,760 need like that weird person and the person's not weird, but it's like this 2004 02:35:28,879 --> 02:35:35,639 weird dynamic where they need the person that's a constant that's like stable for them, 2005 02:35:35,799 --> 02:35:39,719 a soft place to land when all the other craziness they're up to doesn't 2006 02:35:39,760 --> 02:35:43,799 work out and stuff like that. So they're like want you to be that 2007 02:35:43,040 --> 02:35:46,600 for them, but they also want to do all this insane shit and it's 2008 02:35:46,639 --> 02:35:52,200 just like but it's so there's like a study I was reading earlier about this 2009 02:35:52,319 --> 02:35:56,280 kind of stuff where it said that these kind of things are like a social 2010 02:35:56,360 --> 02:36:01,639 contagion cheating and divorce, So like, if you have a close friend who's 2011 02:36:01,719 --> 02:36:05,879 recently gotten divorced, you are seventy five percent more likely to get divorced. 2012 02:36:05,959 --> 02:36:09,920 This was a UK study they did that was pretty good. And then the 2013 02:36:09,000 --> 02:36:13,000 same thing with cheating. It was like they found that couples where somebody was 2014 02:36:13,120 --> 02:36:18,319 cheating. If they had friends who were cheating, like everybody in that peer 2015 02:36:18,399 --> 02:36:22,040 group, it was more likely that they were going to also have affairs. 2016 02:36:22,120 --> 02:36:28,319 So there's a weird there is kind of a social contract in this way. 2017 02:36:28,360 --> 02:36:31,600 It's like if we're all going to have free love and be cheaters and get 2018 02:36:31,680 --> 02:36:35,319 divorces and all that stuff, it's like, if everyone around you is doing 2019 02:36:35,360 --> 02:36:41,319 it, you just think it's not a big deal. And it's like when 2020 02:36:41,360 --> 02:36:43,719 we had more stigma around these things, you know, like there was a 2021 02:36:43,799 --> 02:36:48,280 time where if you were a deadbeat dad, nobody would hire you. Oh 2022 02:36:50,000 --> 02:36:52,040 that's the thing. People are pushing back on this cheating thing, and a 2023 02:36:52,120 --> 02:36:56,079 lot of guy okay, two stories. One this guy came on a podcast 2024 02:36:56,200 --> 02:37:00,719 and he was like, I don't know any men who have cheating on their 2025 02:37:00,760 --> 02:37:03,719 wives. I just don't know one. And he's like, the thing is 2026 02:37:03,799 --> 02:37:07,120 we should get some women who are more understanding than this is what all men 2027 02:37:07,280 --> 02:37:13,000 do. And I'm like, that's so gross. And then another guy was 2028 02:37:13,079 --> 02:37:18,600 like, I don't do business with people who were unfaithful to their partner. 2029 02:37:18,879 --> 02:37:22,040 And he's like, and I know a lot of guys who will not have 2030 02:37:22,200 --> 02:37:28,200 anything to do business wise friendship anything with cheaters, because if you can screw 2031 02:37:28,280 --> 02:37:30,680 over the person that you sleep next to you and you tell him you love 2032 02:37:30,719 --> 02:37:35,120 them and you lie to them, what are you gonna do in business with 2033 02:37:35,200 --> 02:37:39,840 me? You don't even that happened to me where I had a friend and 2034 02:37:39,120 --> 02:37:43,520 he had a business with his friend who he knew was cheating on his Like 2035 02:37:45,040 --> 02:37:48,760 they hadn't gotten married, but they'd been together for like eleven years or something. 2036 02:37:48,120 --> 02:37:52,079 I'm like, first of all, he's gotten this girl just for some 2037 02:37:52,239 --> 02:37:56,040 reason, hang around for eleven years without marrying her, and he's having an 2038 02:37:56,079 --> 02:37:58,440 affair. I'm like, why do you want this person as a business partner. 2039 02:37:58,520 --> 02:38:03,799 Isn't that like it doesn't that make it extremely likely that he's going to 2040 02:38:03,840 --> 02:38:05,600 screw you over? And my friend was like, oh no, I don't 2041 02:38:05,639 --> 02:38:11,200 think it like translates that way. It of course, he totally screwed my 2042 02:38:11,280 --> 02:38:16,239 friend out of tons of money and it was doing all kinds of illegal stuff 2043 02:38:16,280 --> 02:38:20,000 and ended up totally screwing him over. So so I'm going to have a 2044 02:38:20,200 --> 02:38:26,840 zero tolerance policy for cheaters. I think it's disgusting and I already do honestly. 2045 02:38:26,000 --> 02:38:33,399 Like I had a girl friend once who was like dumping all her relationship 2046 02:38:33,479 --> 02:38:37,000 stuff on me a lot, and then decided she was going to have an 2047 02:38:37,040 --> 02:38:41,840 affair and was telling me all about it, And I think she really expected 2048 02:38:41,879 --> 02:38:45,840 me to like validate her choice, Like I've spent all these weeks dumping on 2049 02:38:45,959 --> 02:38:50,559 you about how horrible my husband is, so now that I'm having this affair, 2050 02:38:50,959 --> 02:38:52,440 I can tell you about it, and you're like not going to push 2051 02:38:52,520 --> 02:38:56,600 back, And I was like, dude, no, you if you if 2052 02:38:56,639 --> 02:39:00,920 it's that bad and the marriage just doesn't sell, eligible, you get a 2053 02:39:01,000 --> 02:39:07,639 divorce and you work through your issues and then you carefully, because they had 2054 02:39:07,760 --> 02:39:13,559 kids, you carefully decide if and when to date again, and who might 2055 02:39:13,840 --> 02:39:16,479 even be a possibility to bring into your kids. No, you don't have 2056 02:39:16,559 --> 02:39:18,760 an affair, No, obviously, Like I was like, how can you 2057 02:39:18,840 --> 02:39:22,680 be my friend and not know that I would react this way? Yeah, 2058 02:39:22,200 --> 02:39:28,239 And it's just so damaging and disrespectful, Like can you imagine being right next 2059 02:39:28,280 --> 02:39:33,600 to a person and they're texting another person? And because cheating is hard, 2060 02:39:33,840 --> 02:39:37,959 like it's easier to be faithful because you know, I'm always like these people 2061 02:39:37,079 --> 02:39:43,319 have boundless energy and so much time. I would never have time to person. 2062 02:39:43,440 --> 02:39:46,200 You gotta lie, you gotta keep it secret, you gotta go and 2063 02:39:46,479 --> 02:39:50,920 like act like you're pooping and you like texting them or doing whatever. Yeah 2064 02:39:50,440 --> 02:39:54,719 you know what I mean. Yeah, but I think some people they like 2065 02:39:54,559 --> 02:40:00,479 I know people in my life who love that drama. It's like tightment to 2066 02:40:00,559 --> 02:40:05,799 them, and it's like they love dysfunctional relationships and cheating and it's it's you 2067 02:40:05,920 --> 02:40:09,319 can tell that some people aren't gonna stop because it's like they like it. 2068 02:40:09,440 --> 02:40:13,840 It's it will get something out of it. You know that. That's another 2069 02:40:13,959 --> 02:40:16,440 thing, Like person cheats on you, it's it, that's over. They're 2070 02:40:16,479 --> 02:40:20,079 not going to stop. And how oh yeah for sure, and how many 2071 02:40:20,559 --> 02:40:26,440 literal miracle for them to repent of that? How many times have you seen 2072 02:40:26,879 --> 02:40:31,239 where somebody has a very attractive spouse, whether it's the man or the woman, 2073 02:40:31,559 --> 02:40:37,399 and the person they cheat on that person with is like way less attractive, 2074 02:40:37,559 --> 02:40:43,280 and everyone's like, what, you cheated on her with that girl or 2075 02:40:43,319 --> 02:40:46,239 you cheated on him with that guy. What. So it's it can't just 2076 02:40:46,719 --> 02:40:52,760 be about like not getting your needs met or wanting someone, but it's like 2077 02:40:54,399 --> 02:40:58,000 there's other, like you said, the weird validation, the external validation and 2078 02:40:58,079 --> 02:41:01,040 the other things going on. Let's talk about this person that gets cheated on, 2079 02:41:01,760 --> 02:41:05,399 because that there's things we can do to protect ourselves. So they are 2080 02:41:05,600 --> 02:41:11,360 overgiving, They're over forgiving and overgiving. They're not going to confront you about 2081 02:41:13,319 --> 02:41:18,159 your pr and they're not going to confront you about your liking Instagram. They 2082 02:41:18,239 --> 02:41:24,760 have their cowards, you know, So these red flags that pop up, 2083 02:41:24,840 --> 02:41:28,159 they're gonna gaslight themselves or they're gonna listen to the person gaslight in them and 2084 02:41:28,559 --> 02:41:31,200 just say, oh, it's no problem. It's I'm a cool girl. 2085 02:41:31,719 --> 02:41:35,680 I get it right, you know. Yes, I have heard this. 2086 02:41:35,000 --> 02:41:37,760 I've heard this from women, whether it used to be cool, I'm not 2087 02:41:37,879 --> 02:41:43,200 cool. Yeah, I'm going to prove how cool I am by totally being 2088 02:41:43,280 --> 02:41:46,440 nonchalant about this guy like cheating them. Well, that's what happened with the 2089 02:41:46,559 --> 02:41:50,040 daughter of mine, where she was like out with a group and this guy 2090 02:41:50,159 --> 02:41:54,879 she was dating his friends were like totally hitting on her, and She's like 2091 02:41:54,000 --> 02:41:56,760 it was like he didn't even care, and I've had this horrible feeling in 2092 02:41:56,879 --> 02:42:01,399 my stomach ever since. And I'm like, then that's it, yeah, 2093 02:42:01,719 --> 02:42:05,200 because that's true. If this dude was serious about you. Other guys hitting 2094 02:42:05,239 --> 02:42:09,879 on you right in front of him would be an issue. Oh definitely. 2095 02:42:11,200 --> 02:42:13,840 And she's like, well, I thought so, mom, and I knew 2096 02:42:13,879 --> 02:42:16,200 that you would tell me that. But like I have all these like really 2097 02:42:16,280 --> 02:42:20,639 progressive friends out here that act like it's cool to not be jealous and like 2098 02:42:20,879 --> 02:42:24,840 you don't want to be possessive and you don't want to own people. And 2099 02:42:24,920 --> 02:42:28,600 I'm like, that's all bullshits. She's like, Okay, I thought so. 2100 02:42:28,760 --> 02:42:31,479 I just I just wanted to hear you say it. Yeah. So 2101 02:42:33,399 --> 02:42:37,879 these people are over forgiving. They have fear being alone. Yea. They 2102 02:42:37,959 --> 02:42:43,120 have low self esteem, but in a different way. M they're used to 2103 02:42:43,239 --> 02:42:48,200 being abused. They're just used to getting cheated on. They think this is 2104 02:42:48,280 --> 02:42:50,079 how life is, this is how men are. All men are this way. 2105 02:42:50,159 --> 02:42:54,520 I just have to get used to it, right Yeah. And they 2106 02:42:54,719 --> 02:43:00,200 cannot confront problems. So if you got cheated on, it is no thing 2107 02:43:00,280 --> 02:43:05,440 to do with you, right, No, there's something and that other person 2108 02:43:05,520 --> 02:43:07,719 that they needed to do, because, like I said, if if they 2109 02:43:07,799 --> 02:43:11,479 just wanted someone else, they'd be like, listen, I don't really feel 2110 02:43:11,479 --> 02:43:15,319 like this is working out. We're going to break up. And then they 2111 02:43:15,360 --> 02:43:18,600 would go find someone if they have to cheat on you, there's something else 2112 02:43:18,680 --> 02:43:24,479 going on with them. And it's so gross because like, you would live 2113 02:43:24,559 --> 02:43:26,600 your life differently if you knew the truth about what this person was doing. 2114 02:43:26,680 --> 02:43:33,719 You would make decisions that benefit you and like not them. It's just such 2115 02:43:33,799 --> 02:43:35,440 the worst way to use somebody. I just can't believe it. And it's 2116 02:43:35,520 --> 02:43:39,479 like, and you can. You can damage people for life doing that kind 2117 02:43:39,520 --> 02:43:45,559 of easy. Yeah, So you don't just ruin their relationship with you, 2118 02:43:45,719 --> 02:43:48,559 you ruin their relationship with future partners, you know. It's like, yeah, 2119 02:43:48,639 --> 02:43:52,680 and you make it really hard for them to bond or trust or right. 2120 02:43:54,639 --> 02:43:56,680 So, wrapping it up, we've gone for so long, and I'm 2121 02:43:58,120 --> 02:44:01,600 grateful that you spent all this time with me tonight. I'm sure your family's 2122 02:44:01,639 --> 02:44:03,879 waiting for you to get back. But I have one more thing that I 2123 02:44:05,000 --> 02:44:09,680 made. This is the piece to resistance of tonight. And this is what 2124 02:44:09,840 --> 02:44:18,879 I call the Super Mario dating strategy. Oh my god, I love it 2125 02:44:18,959 --> 02:44:22,639 already. You guys all love video games so much, and that's like one 2126 02:44:22,639 --> 02:44:26,319 of the number one complaints that women have about men is that they're childish and 2127 02:44:26,440 --> 02:44:30,319 they play too much video games. Like if you would have asked me what 2128 02:44:30,399 --> 02:44:35,040 would be destroying the American family in twenty twenty video games and PRN, I 2129 02:44:35,120 --> 02:44:39,120 would not have thought that, but it's true. Yeah, so well they're 2130 02:44:39,159 --> 02:44:45,120 both so addictive for some people. Yeah, so I'm going to explain it 2131 02:44:45,319 --> 02:44:52,879 using video game terminologies and what we got here. And this is from a 2132 02:44:52,000 --> 02:45:03,040 woman's perspective, right, So here's Princess Peach. You're not a first trap. 2133 02:45:03,280 --> 02:45:07,840 You're not, I thought. You're just a nice woman who wants to 2134 02:45:07,079 --> 02:45:11,239 have a family and get and have a nice life. You know, a 2135 02:45:11,280 --> 02:45:16,000 little bit of romance, a little bit of success. You're not desperate by 2136 02:45:16,079 --> 02:45:22,159 any means. And here you have your bad guys, right, the people 2137 02:45:22,239 --> 02:45:26,760 you want to keep away from you as much as possible. You do not 2138 02:45:26,840 --> 02:45:30,680 want these people in your life. You do not want them progressing the levels 2139 02:45:31,120 --> 02:45:33,040 to get to your levels. So you're up here. You never go down 2140 02:45:33,079 --> 02:45:37,799 to hang out with these guys, right, Yeah, because there's bowsers. 2141 02:45:39,040 --> 02:45:43,360 There's people who will kill you. They will rape you, they will cheat 2142 02:45:43,440 --> 02:45:46,239 on you, they will take all your money, they will do the worst 2143 02:45:46,280 --> 02:45:50,879 things possible that you can even think of. And so we put these levels 2144 02:45:50,920 --> 02:45:56,200 of protection between us and them and going by red flags so we can see 2145 02:45:56,440 --> 02:46:01,200 like who is going to come up these to where you are? Right? 2146 02:46:01,680 --> 02:46:09,920 Did you ever see that dating game where she picked the serial killer? Yes? 2147 02:46:09,280 --> 02:46:15,200 I was actually just sitting here thinking about all the women, Like I 2148 02:46:15,360 --> 02:46:18,559 was just watching Dahmer on Netflix and how they show all the women who would 2149 02:46:18,600 --> 02:46:24,120 write love letters to him, and there's yeah, the most horrific serial killers 2150 02:46:24,159 --> 02:46:28,239 get, like the most love letters from women. Is so crazy. So 2151 02:46:28,680 --> 02:46:35,920 we want to stay live. We don't want our lives ruined by evil, 2152 02:46:35,159 --> 02:46:41,360 narcissistic people. So we need to identify some of these batties, like these 2153 02:46:41,440 --> 02:46:46,360 red flags. So one of the first things I would say is like, 2154 02:46:46,760 --> 02:46:52,399 look out for guys that do not want to get married. If I don't 2155 02:46:52,399 --> 02:46:56,879 want to get married. Next, oh, I wish somebody would have told 2156 02:46:56,959 --> 02:47:00,719 that to eighteen year old rage. That would have saved me so much time. 2157 02:47:01,559 --> 02:47:05,360 Only marios can ascend to get to the marriage level. So this is 2158 02:47:05,399 --> 02:47:13,159 like marriage engagement, dating, friendship help. Yeah, okay, And we 2159 02:47:13,280 --> 02:47:15,639 only want the good guys to get up to here where we are. We're 2160 02:47:15,680 --> 02:47:20,920 not allowing the bowsers. So guys who are narcissists, guys who don't want 2161 02:47:20,920 --> 02:47:26,479 to get married, guys with lots of baby mamas. Yeah. What else 2162 02:47:26,959 --> 02:47:30,680 is a huge red flag that would like not even progress to friendship level. 2163 02:47:31,159 --> 02:47:35,600 Um, Just guys who are like the gang banger types, the biker types, 2164 02:47:35,799 --> 02:47:45,920 them, the really temperamental, melodramatic like artists types who like they're really 2165 02:47:46,000 --> 02:47:48,239 fun and exciting at first, but then they'll go through two months stints where 2166 02:47:48,280 --> 02:47:52,079 they don't want to leave their apartment and just want to go on benders and 2167 02:47:52,159 --> 02:47:56,200 not talk to people. Like you know what I mean, Like emotionally instable 2168 02:47:56,280 --> 02:48:01,920 guys no matter how cute or artists dick, because sometimes those guys are really 2169 02:48:01,040 --> 02:48:07,520 charismatic and captivating. They don't make good dads. They're too unreliable. If 2170 02:48:07,559 --> 02:48:11,040 you want to have children ever, you need somebody stable. So anybody who's 2171 02:48:11,079 --> 02:48:15,559 like really emotionally up and down like that as a man new not a good 2172 02:48:15,600 --> 02:48:18,840 idea. How about guys who run hot and cold? Yeah yeah, so 2173 02:48:20,159 --> 02:48:28,799 that's actually a super effective mind control torture. Yeah yeah, lukewarm being hot 2174 02:48:28,879 --> 02:48:35,680 one day cold and next you can drive somebody crazy. Yeah literally with that 2175 02:48:35,959 --> 02:48:39,879 kind of behavior. So if a guy's going hot and cold. If he 2176 02:48:39,479 --> 02:48:45,360 is, you know, just like a bad dude, keep him down here, 2177 02:48:46,600 --> 02:48:52,680 and then you have your friendship level. So if I had to do 2178 02:48:52,760 --> 02:49:00,879 it all over again, God forbid, let's hope not no up here hanging 2179 02:49:00,920 --> 02:49:07,639 out by myself, single, healed bride of Christ. My focus is like 2180 02:49:07,360 --> 02:49:13,000 in the church, in my work, I'm not trying to date. Yeah, 2181 02:49:13,280 --> 02:49:18,440 because this is the worst level dating. This is where all the crap 2182 02:49:18,559 --> 02:49:22,479 happens in the dating level. So you want to keep the guys down here 2183 02:49:22,559 --> 02:49:26,879 at friendship level because you don't want to hurt them and you don't want to 2184 02:49:26,879 --> 02:49:31,280 get hurt, right, Like I call this how to not get your heart 2185 02:49:31,319 --> 02:49:35,120 ripped out a thousand times? Yeah, right, Well, and another thing 2186 02:49:35,200 --> 02:49:39,079 too is like if you know a guy is interested in you, this happens 2187 02:49:39,079 --> 02:49:41,360 a lot. If you have a guy that you friend zoned and you know 2188 02:49:41,680 --> 02:49:45,920 for a fact he's interested in you, sometimes you can't stay friends with that 2189 02:49:46,079 --> 02:49:48,399 guy because it really is just gonna like, yeah, hurt him and lead 2190 02:49:48,479 --> 02:49:52,840 him on and stuff like that too. So here we're not leading people on. 2191 02:49:52,239 --> 02:49:56,360 We're not making them take us to expensive dinners and not getting them anything 2192 02:49:56,479 --> 02:50:01,040 in return. Okay, we're keeping them. We're asking all the questions. 2193 02:50:01,079 --> 02:50:05,559 Okay, we're gonna hit this box million times, yeah, till we find 2194 02:50:05,600 --> 02:50:09,399 out what kind of person this is. This is like hanging out a coffee 2195 02:50:09,440 --> 02:50:13,120 hour at church. I would say, if a guy, if I don't 2196 02:50:13,159 --> 02:50:16,399 know you from Adam, you could be bowser. Yeah, you could like 2197 02:50:16,520 --> 02:50:20,000 cut my toes off and keep my head in a freezer. I don't know 2198 02:50:20,239 --> 02:50:22,719 what the other red flag is now that i'm thinking back, is like, 2199 02:50:24,040 --> 02:50:28,559 um, guys that either like they don't have any roots, because that's how 2200 02:50:28,600 --> 02:50:33,360 the like Connors's person got me. It's like, oh, I'm from you 2201 02:50:33,440 --> 02:50:35,280 know, a state that's really far away, and it was like I never 2202 02:50:35,479 --> 02:50:39,639 could meet his family or talk to anybody who really knew him until it was 2203 02:50:39,680 --> 02:50:43,920 like way too late, you know. So it was like anything he told 2204 02:50:45,040 --> 02:50:48,319 me, I just had to believe it because there's nobody around, so like 2205 02:50:48,680 --> 02:50:54,479 strangers is weird. Yeah, and like good good guys like you'll get to 2206 02:50:54,639 --> 02:50:56,120 know their friends, you'll get to know their family, and if their friends 2207 02:50:56,159 --> 02:51:01,200 and family are generally like pretty quality people, that's usually a good sign. 2208 02:51:01,639 --> 02:51:05,319 Yeah, because good quality people don't usually hang out with bowsers. No, 2209 02:51:05,000 --> 02:51:13,959 So we're not going to be alone with them at night. M we're staying 2210 02:51:13,280 --> 02:51:18,840 in public, we're staying in the daytime. I would say if you if 2211 02:51:18,879 --> 02:51:22,239 I just met somebody, He'm like, oh, you're people. I want 2212 02:51:22,239 --> 02:51:24,840 to get to know you, blah blah blah, I'd be like, you 2213 02:51:24,920 --> 02:51:26,719 come to coffee hour. That's how you can get to know me. Yeah, 2214 02:51:28,239 --> 02:51:31,040 okay, because I'm not going on a walk with you all by myself. 2215 02:51:33,719 --> 02:51:35,920 I'm not going to get coffee with you. We're gonna you're gonna see 2216 02:51:35,959 --> 02:51:39,559 what I'm about. And that's a liturgy and coffee hour. And if you 2217 02:51:39,680 --> 02:51:41,799 really like me, you'll be there. If you wanted to, he will. 2218 02:51:43,440 --> 02:51:48,319 Yeah, there is nothing that you can do to turn off a guy 2219 02:51:48,399 --> 02:51:52,920 that really likes you, as far as like putting up goalposts and boundaries. 2220 02:51:54,440 --> 02:51:56,799 He'll smash them, right, he'll get through them. If he wants to 2221 02:51:56,840 --> 02:52:01,120 be with you. Up here in the marriage level, he will do this 2222 02:52:01,280 --> 02:52:05,079 really fast. So that's how you keep yourself safe. That's how you know. 2223 02:52:05,200 --> 02:52:09,719 You want to make sure they're actually looking for a wife and not just 2224 02:52:09,920 --> 02:52:18,159 somebody to use. Right. So then this is the level that like is 2225 02:52:18,239 --> 02:52:22,719 the most dangerous, and everybody gets stuck here and everybody this is where all 2226 02:52:22,719 --> 02:52:28,799 the babies are born. Yes, right, this is the living together level. 2227 02:52:28,000 --> 02:52:33,440 It's like we're just cohabitating and sleeping together, but we never get past 2228 02:52:33,559 --> 02:52:39,600 that. This is you if you're not if he never asked you to marry 2229 02:52:39,719 --> 02:52:43,959 him, and you're having babies with him, this is you waiting to get 2230 02:52:43,040 --> 02:52:50,559 married because he's not going to do it. Yep, it's like so sad. 2231 02:52:50,680 --> 02:52:56,239 It's like you know that Facebook um picture that they put in there instead 2232 02:52:56,280 --> 02:52:58,040 of your If you don't upload a picture, it's just like a blue like 2233 02:52:58,120 --> 02:53:03,920 the gray Avatar thing. If you're living with somebody and having kids with them 2234 02:53:03,000 --> 02:53:09,399 and he doesn't marry you, that's you. He's waiting for his woman and 2235 02:53:09,520 --> 02:53:13,680 he hasn't married you because he's ready to drop you at the drop of a 2236 02:53:13,719 --> 02:53:18,639 hat when he meets his dream girl. Yeah, so you're just a placeholder. 2237 02:53:18,920 --> 02:53:24,159 So do not have kids with somebody you're not married to. Do not 2238 02:53:24,399 --> 02:53:28,680 give your intimacy to somebody who didn't marry you. One d And that's the 2239 02:53:28,760 --> 02:53:33,399 hardest thing to convince everybody else. So hopefully after this hours that we've been 2240 02:53:33,479 --> 02:53:37,440 here talking about this, if you've only come away with one thing. It's 2241 02:53:39,200 --> 02:53:41,840 marriage is just a piece of paper, and we can just live together and 2242 02:53:41,920 --> 02:53:45,360 sleep together and cohabitate and I'm sure it'll work out. That's not a thing. 2243 02:53:45,639 --> 02:53:48,200 Like I know there are people out there somewhere where that works out for 2244 02:53:48,280 --> 02:53:52,520 them eventually, But like, why why would you do that to yourself? 2245 02:53:52,559 --> 02:53:54,920 Why would you take that kind of risk? Like, just find a person 2246 02:53:56,000 --> 02:54:00,520 who actually wants marriage like you do before you have a family with them. 2247 02:54:00,920 --> 02:54:07,879 So leave the dusties down here in the lava level. Do not be a 2248 02:54:07,959 --> 02:54:13,239 forever girlfriend. I'm thinking year and a half. Yeah, he hasn't brought 2249 02:54:13,319 --> 02:54:18,159 up marriage after a year and a half of dating? Yeah, yeah, 2250 02:54:18,360 --> 02:54:26,319 okay, sure what else? No sleeping because it's like there's so much wiggle 2251 02:54:26,440 --> 02:54:31,559 room in this like level of dating. Yeah, you can get away with 2252 02:54:31,680 --> 02:54:35,799 anything because you're supposed to be sleeping together. You're supposed to be you know, 2253 02:54:37,239 --> 02:54:41,120 like you end up like buying stuff together. You just end up all 2254 02:54:41,239 --> 02:54:45,719 tangle up. Yeah, but without the actual commitment, then that breeds resentment 2255 02:54:45,920 --> 02:54:48,879 and it's just it's just a bad deal. Don't do it. So you 2256 02:54:50,000 --> 02:54:54,040 have to get rid of the ghosties, the guys who are afraid of commitment 2257 02:54:54,120 --> 02:55:00,479 who do not want to like go to the next level because like you don't 2258 02:55:00,520 --> 02:55:03,799 even know how you got there. Like remember in the ghosts levels, you 2259 02:55:03,879 --> 02:55:07,399 would open a door and you're still in the same room. Yeah, that's 2260 02:55:07,440 --> 02:55:11,879 what dating is. That's true, right, Yeah that was me. That 2261 02:55:13,040 --> 02:55:16,719 was stupid me back in the day. Yeah, I was the forever girlfriend 2262 02:55:16,159 --> 02:55:20,840 who was like, well, I don't want to push him, and if 2263 02:55:20,879 --> 02:55:24,920 I push him, then you know, he might leave. And if I'm 2264 02:55:24,000 --> 02:55:28,399 sure that if I just hang around and be awesome, he'll totally like you 2265 02:55:28,600 --> 02:55:31,479 want to marry me at some point. It's just it's so dumb and so 2266 02:55:31,639 --> 02:55:35,760 stupid. But here is also on my behalf. I was given terrible advice 2267 02:55:35,879 --> 02:55:39,719 by my mother who literally like told me this was all the way to do 2268 02:55:39,879 --> 02:55:43,360 it. There is nothing that you can do to make a man want to 2269 02:55:43,399 --> 02:55:48,040 marry you more after you've given him a family. What is he waiting for? 2270 02:55:50,079 --> 02:55:54,719 Like, oh, you're frozen? Oh no, are you still there? 2271 02:56:05,239 --> 02:56:09,399 Okay, we're back technical issues, We're almost done. Okay, So 2272 02:56:09,639 --> 02:56:13,680 dating, you want to get in and out of this as fast as possible, 2273 02:56:13,159 --> 02:56:16,319 right, keep them in the friend zone until you really know them. 2274 02:56:18,200 --> 02:56:22,879 And it's almost like courting. Like you said, you know, we are 2275 02:56:22,200 --> 02:56:28,280 intentionally dating to see if we are going to get married. Yeah, and 2276 02:56:28,399 --> 02:56:33,239 then here's the engagement level. Here's where you can talk about your future, 2277 02:56:33,920 --> 02:56:37,239 your kids, your finances, all the other goodies, your friends, all 2278 02:56:37,319 --> 02:56:46,479 that. And this is the marriage level, which represents intimacy, love, 2279 02:56:46,920 --> 02:56:52,520 sex, all of that, and long life because it is proven that men 2280 02:56:52,639 --> 02:56:56,559 who are married live longer. Yeah, because it's more healthy for them. 2281 02:56:56,120 --> 02:57:01,159 Yep, right, Yeah, Andrew always tells people that he likes being married 2282 02:57:01,200 --> 02:57:05,479 a lot more than he thought he would, and he totally recommends it. 2283 02:57:05,600 --> 02:57:09,000 So so, and he was an unlikely guy. If you had met him 2284 02:57:09,000 --> 02:57:13,079 at twenty one, you'd be shocked that he was saying that. But so, 2285 02:57:13,600 --> 02:57:18,719 where a lot of girls go wrong is they try to merge the finances, 2286 02:57:18,799 --> 02:57:22,159 the household and put all of the car before the horse. And something 2287 02:57:22,239 --> 02:57:28,360 really tragic happens when you are working for a guy who's not committed to you, 2288 02:57:28,920 --> 02:57:35,239 and it's like they call it Bob the builder. So do not build 2289 02:57:35,639 --> 02:57:39,719 a man's business that you're not married to, right or at least engaged. 2290 02:57:39,920 --> 02:57:43,479 Do not work for him. Do not merge your personalities, your goals, 2291 02:57:43,559 --> 02:57:48,440 your value all that when you're dating you still, yeah, because if he's 2292 02:57:48,479 --> 02:57:52,319 going to be a doctor, he's going to be a doctor. And if 2293 02:57:52,360 --> 02:57:56,120 he didn't marry you when he was in med school, he's waiting till he 2294 02:57:56,280 --> 02:58:00,520 graduates to get the kind of woman that he thinks that a doctor came full 2295 02:58:01,079 --> 02:58:05,360 right, and he's using you in the meantime dating. I didn't commit to 2296 02:58:05,399 --> 02:58:07,959 her. I never said we could get married, you know. And he 2297 02:58:07,159 --> 02:58:11,440 will not lose one wink of sleep that you put him through med school, 2298 02:58:13,440 --> 02:58:18,520 right, He will dump you as fast as he can once he meets the 2299 02:58:18,600 --> 02:58:20,600 girl of his dreams. Well, yeah, And I mean you kind of 2300 02:58:20,719 --> 02:58:26,600 teach people how to treat you. If you tell somebody that this is all 2301 02:58:26,760 --> 02:58:31,040 fine, then when you've had enough after two years of it, they're kind 2302 02:58:31,120 --> 02:58:35,000 of like, why are you mad all of a sudden, You've been doing 2303 02:58:35,040 --> 02:58:39,719 this for two years? What's the problem now? And then you don't really 2304 02:58:39,840 --> 02:58:41,200 know what to say to that other than like, well, but I had 2305 02:58:41,280 --> 02:58:45,319 different expectations. It's like, yeah, but two years ago would have been 2306 02:58:45,360 --> 02:58:48,959 the time to make that known. You shouldn't have like moved everything. I 2307 02:58:50,079 --> 02:58:54,200 did the same things. It's now that I have hindsight. It's very stupid, 2308 02:58:54,319 --> 02:59:00,239 but I think so many people do this mistake. Yeah, So do 2309 02:59:00,520 --> 02:59:05,200 not build up a man that has not expressed to you that you're getting married. 2310 02:59:05,000 --> 02:59:09,040 Period. You're just gonna regret it. He's gonna screw you over and 2311 02:59:09,360 --> 02:59:13,600 he's not gonna think he did anything wrong by wasting years of your life, 2312 02:59:13,239 --> 02:59:18,680 right. Yeah, And ladies, we don't have forever, you know. 2313 02:59:18,159 --> 02:59:22,239 I mean, if you do want kids, do you want to like live 2314 02:59:22,319 --> 02:59:26,639 with a dude for ten years? Doesn't sound like a good strategy. So 2315 02:59:28,079 --> 02:59:31,719 don't give a man a family that hasn't committed to you. So this you 2316 02:59:31,799 --> 02:59:39,319 need to like keep all the narcissists and the crazy guys down here and only 2317 02:59:39,440 --> 02:59:41,159 let Mario ascend these levels. And he, if he's a real Mario, 2318 02:59:41,600 --> 02:59:46,040 he's gonna bust through this really fast. He's not gonna be like, oh, 2319 02:59:46,159 --> 02:59:48,959 I don't know if I can commit. I don't know if I can 2320 02:59:50,319 --> 02:59:52,360 be a good dad. I don't know. I don't that's the worst too. 2321 02:59:52,680 --> 02:59:56,040 I don't ever even believe when people say that, when they're like I 2322 02:59:56,159 --> 02:59:58,440 just don't know, it's like, yes, you do, you just don't 2323 02:59:58,479 --> 03:00:03,319 want to say it. It because there's consequences to saying it right now, 2324 03:00:03,440 --> 03:00:07,879 you can do that. Yeah, you love the sweet spot where you're getting 2325 03:00:07,879 --> 03:00:13,920 all the benefit, but you don't really have the total responsibility and commitment yet, 2326 03:00:13,360 --> 03:00:16,280 so you don't. It's not that you don't know, it's that you 2327 03:00:16,360 --> 03:00:20,840 don't want to tell me the truth because then you lose your little sweet spot, 2328 03:00:20,920 --> 03:00:24,440 you know. So never when a guy says he doesn't know or he 2329 03:00:24,559 --> 03:00:28,239 needs to think about it or needs more time, it's like, no, 2330 03:00:28,200 --> 03:00:31,360 if he wanted to, he would. Yeah, right, if you wanted 2331 03:00:31,399 --> 03:00:35,479 to beat this dating level and get to engagement and marriage. And the thing 2332 03:00:35,639 --> 03:00:41,760 is, it's way more respectable. I've heard this teaching in the church. 2333 03:00:43,680 --> 03:00:48,079 It's okay to break off an engagement. Yeah, it's perfect up until the 2334 03:00:48,200 --> 03:00:52,159 day you're getting married, up until the time you're walking. It's okay to 2335 03:00:52,239 --> 03:00:56,719 say I can't do this. But at least you had the intention of, 2336 03:00:56,120 --> 03:01:03,440 you know, like the goal to not stay here right right, and you 2337 03:01:03,520 --> 03:01:07,000 were working towards getting married and you say, I don't think we're a good 2338 03:01:07,079 --> 03:01:11,719 match, we can't get married. That way more better than just dating and 2339 03:01:11,840 --> 03:01:18,239 breaking up. Yeah, it's the it's the cohabitating sleeping together and playing house 2340 03:01:18,399 --> 03:01:22,680 thing that is such an awful trap. Yes, it's the intimacy sucks. 2341 03:01:22,200 --> 03:01:26,520 The we're not going to be cooking for you if we're not married. We're 2342 03:01:26,520 --> 03:01:31,040 not gonna be cleaning your house. We're not going to be doing all of 2343 03:01:31,159 --> 03:01:37,840 these things that wife level things that you have to unlock by getting married. 2344 03:01:39,280 --> 03:01:43,120 We're not doing that anymore, right because the bowsers are going to take all 2345 03:01:43,200 --> 03:01:46,319 of this and say thank you very much, and then they're going to go 2346 03:01:46,360 --> 03:01:50,959 on to the next person. Right. Well, and from this sounds bad, 2347 03:01:52,239 --> 03:01:56,280 but think about it, like why wouldn't they Yeah, if all these 2348 03:01:56,319 --> 03:01:58,920 women are going to let them, they're going to do it because it's human 2349 03:02:00,079 --> 03:02:03,879 nature just to try and est deal. Why are you're gonna if someone says 2350 03:02:03,959 --> 03:02:07,639 the ferrari costs this much, are you going to pay them ten thousand more 2351 03:02:09,360 --> 03:02:11,440 than what they asked for? No, of course not. Yeah, you're 2352 03:02:11,479 --> 03:02:16,680 gonna pay the price that it was set. So the price is for intimacy, 2353 03:02:18,239 --> 03:02:24,559 being your therapist, being your cook, clean laundry finances. All of 2354 03:02:24,680 --> 03:02:33,159 that is marriage. And we can do a whole marriage show maybe later on 2355 03:02:33,319 --> 03:02:35,440 in the future, because it does have to do with being a king and 2356 03:02:35,520 --> 03:02:39,399 a queen, which is something kind of CRUs the way that they look at 2357 03:02:39,479 --> 03:02:43,719 it, but the way that we explain it, it's very holy, an 2358 03:02:43,840 --> 03:02:56,760 honorable thing. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, just be princess. Yes, 2359 03:02:56,280 --> 03:03:00,479 And I used to talk about princess program, I mean, and I've 2360 03:03:00,559 --> 03:03:09,079 changed my mind kind of about like the whole royalty idea, and maybe we 2361 03:03:09,120 --> 03:03:11,399 can talk about that next time. But I am so grateful that you spent 2362 03:03:11,479 --> 03:03:16,200 all this time and I think we're going on like three hours, and I 2363 03:03:16,399 --> 03:03:20,559 hope you guys liked my silly drawing. And I think that's the cutest drawing 2364 03:03:20,639 --> 03:03:24,239 I've ever seen. I love it so much. Seriously, this is how 2365 03:03:24,319 --> 03:03:30,239 you protect your heart, Like you have a precious princess heart, right and 2366 03:03:30,639 --> 03:03:33,680 you don't want it to get trampled on, and you don't want to lose 2367 03:03:33,079 --> 03:03:39,360 that sensitivity by dating a bunch of bowsers and a bunch of tinies and a 2368 03:03:39,440 --> 03:03:46,079 bunch of plant piranhas. Yeah, so thank you guys for coming and listening 2369 03:03:46,159 --> 03:03:50,719 to the whole thing, and hopefully we can bring love back