WEBVTT

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In today's episode. You know,
I don't know why I'm laughing. I

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don't know either. We were realizing
that this is probably the end of the

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year episode. Yeah, I'm thinking
Christmas, Holidays, Hanukkah, all the

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things, Festivus, Festivus for the
rest of us. I knew that was

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coming all. In today's episode,
we're really going to talk about specifically inappropriate

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Christmas songs. There are a number, I bet there are. There are

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lots and lots. Okay, And
didn't you want to do a Utah trip

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wrap up? Didn't you want to
do that? You were going to talk

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about that was next week? Oh? I think we're just doing Christmas songs

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today. Well, we'll see how
much time we have. Okay, next

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week. What planet are you on
next time? Next time? Have you

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seen our recording schedule? Is there
a next week that I don't know?

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Most time? Next time? Okay, I can get behind that. Okay,

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all right, let's take a quick
break and get into some inappropriate Christmas

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music. You're right back. Hey, everybody, welcome to Latter Day Lesbian

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the podcast. Been an ex Mormon
gay girl just trying to figure out her

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life. My name's Mary. My
name is Shelley. Yeah, you know,

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we are for the first time in
our new studio. How many times

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have we moved studios? Oh?
God, five or six? I don't

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even well. We started at the
place on Quinn Terrorists with this when we

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started recording, and then we went
to Laurel Ridge, sure, and then

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Prosperity Flats is in there. Oh
god, one Laurel Ridge backing it up.

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Okay, Quinn Terrorists, Prosperity Flats, Laurel Ridge Lane, closet of

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of here. Oh and Alexandria.
That's Alexandria. So this isn't the closet.

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This is so before we did in
the closet and your other right right,

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right, right right? Okay,
that's six. That's six. Well,

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hopefully this one will be a permanent
fixture, at least for a while,

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since we're actually in a room that's
not a closet's a little bit bigger.

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It's a it's a den. It's
considered a den like Daniel and the

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lions Den Dan from Extension Audio,
Daniel from Extension Audio. Okay, I

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won't call you Daniel Daniel. Daniel
Daniel in the lions Den is another one

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of those bullshit stupid stories by the
way. Yeah, yeah, because he

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refused to like bow down to the
king or some shit. Yes, they

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threw him in a lions den and
the line's just like, yeah, I

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ate a gazelle earlier. I'm good. Is that what happened? Yeah?

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Yeah, who the fuck knows,
like like any of it ever fucking happened.

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Yeah, it's like, well,
we have to reward. See,

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God smiled on him because he didn't
abandon his faith in the Lord. So

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the lion didn't eat him. Let's
lesson analyze that for a hot second.

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Okay, so sidetrack, total side
track, We'll make a Christmas So it's

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snowing out and bells are ringing in
Jerusalem whatever it is, and God's asking

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this guy Daniel like to deny God. Right, It's typically how it goes

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down. Yeah, well he was
just like bowed down to me, and

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he's like, no, I only
worship Jesus or no, I guess Jesus

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wasn't around yet, I only worship
the Hebrew God, right, Eloheim,

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Sure, Eloheim. So my question
is this, I'm assuming that Daniel has

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possibly a wife, maybe kids,
probably friends, and so you are asking

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God God, I'm talking to you. You are asking this person to have

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enough faith that you will save him
from being eaten by the kittycats. But

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all he has to do is say, no, I only worship you God.

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Can we say narcissism at its finest. Well, Also, the lesson

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is always worship your God. Don't
put any idols before God or something.

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Yeah, right, right? But
what if you do all the things and

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you still aren't blessed? Oh,
I know there's a story of um.

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I want to say, a Ben
a die real person in the Book of

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Mormon, fake person and the real
real, made up name, and he

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ends up being like burnt at the
stake because he wouldn't like deny a God

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or some shit the God or the
the God, the God. Oh well,

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Book of Mormon. Yeah, I
know. The point is that,

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seriously, the point is you can
like do what God says in quotations,

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but you might a still get burned
up in the fucking fire. You still

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might be fucked. Yeah, it's
a roll of the dice. Yeah.

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I love when you have that parent
that you just can't trust completely because they're

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gonna just like, I don't know, are they in a good mood today?

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Yeah? Today, good day for
that parent. You never are they

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gonna take their shit out on me
anyway? Yeah, they just rolling the

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dice like today, Daniel survives,
ben a die dies. Sorry boys,

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what about Meshack, shad Wreck and
a Bendigo. Well they didn't burn.

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They didn't either. Remember, I
just walk out of the fire and shit,

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it's so dumb through the fire.
Okay, shuck con Okay, Well

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that's not the type of music we're
going to be singing today. No,

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we're singing. Well, we might
sing a lyric or two, just you

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can't help yourself. I have lyrics
written down. If Mary sees a lyric,

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is gonna get saying if I know
the two, and I might jump

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into it. All right, let's
just speaking of jumping, jump right into

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inappropriate Christmas songs. You know,
I put on Oh. By the way,

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if anybody has an Alexa device,
you can this is what an Alexa.

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Oh. This is not a promotion
for Alexa, by the way,

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against Alexa. They're not a sponsor, right, but you can say Alexa

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play I Heart Christmas, which is
what I did. Okay the other day,

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and I listened to Christmas music while
I was putting up a fake Christmas

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tree in my apartment here got it. And I was starting to really listen

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to some of the lyrics of some
of the songs. I mean, some

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are really obvious. We're gonna go
through some better people already know about.

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But then you get to start thinking
about some of these other songs, You're

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just like, what maybe it was
because they were written so long ago.

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That's the other thing. It's like, we're listening to this Christmas music over

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and over and over on repeat,
and I cannot tell the difference between Andy

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Williams, Perry what was his name, perrymo mel Tormet, like they all

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sound the same to me. Well, they all did that dumb stylized singing.

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I have an issue with old things. You know you do. She

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barely will date me, everybody.
It's a decision I need to make every

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morning. She's taking the curlers out
of her hair, okay, putting her

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dentures back in. That's funny.
Yeah, that's such an accurate picture of

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me. I'm not that old,
Shelly. I want to say the issue

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the reason you were old acting,
it's because when you were young your parents

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were hella old, especially your dad, So you were surrounded by oldness.

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These songs, though, have been
played for a decade. Oh I I

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decade you not the songs, but
yes, correct, okay, let's just

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just bring a bone in here.
Probably did he well? Listeners, If

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you hear bone, it's Domino say
hi, Yeah, Dan's pretty good about

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getting that stuff out, all right, jumping in. Probably the most inappropriate

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Christmas song ever is baby It's cold
outside. Yeah, yeah, it's the

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date rape song. Yeah. Oh
this one lyric is funny. Baby it's

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bad out there? Say what's in
this drink? No cabs to be had

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out there? Say what's in this
strenk? What did he roof for her?

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That's the thing. He's like,
Uh, it's bad out there,

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and the girl's like, wait,
what's in this drink? I just ignore

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that, Like what you can't get
a cab at this hour? Yeah,

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you might as well stay like what's
in this drink? Wow? If you

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have to question, what is in
your cocktail? Runaway? Run away?

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Yeah? Danger stranger danger, no
stranger, not so stranger danger rape.

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Just can just just say it,
just say what it is. I remember

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last year, the year before,
something I posted on Facebook about it being

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away rapey song and people, not
all people, but a lot of people

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were pissed, like, oh,
it's just a fun you know, back

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and forth will be boys, Yeah, like how how is what's in this

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drink? And you ignoring that you
were asked that question and going on with

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those stay here to stay Like,
how is that a fun conversation between a

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man and a woman? Yeah,
she sounds terrified. Mmmmmm. At least

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she's got a lot of doubts about
the way that evening's headed. Yeah,

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basically, right, I gotta go. He's like, no, you don't,

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right, Okay, let's move on
to everyone knows that. Yeah,

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yeah, let's move on to Rudolph. Okay. Rudolph is one of those

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things you don't really think about being
inappropriate, right, but if you really

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think about the lyrics and also the
stop motion animation special, oh yeah,

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you know. The whole story is
Rudolph is a misfit, right, He

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doesn't fit in, and he's bullied
by all the other reindeer. Yeah,

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they used to laugh and call him
name. They sure did. Until suddenly

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Santa realizes he's got this red nose
that glows, and he becomes useful.

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I don't know why didn't Santa step
in when they were first picking up,

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right, Yeah, because Santa is
an asshole. Yeah, well he represents

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God, yeah totally Yeah, which
brings me to another song in a minute.

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But yeah, suddenly he becomes useful
and is accepted by the entire herd

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at that point. So if if
Rudolph never became useful whatever, right,

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like his nose never glowed, Yeah, he'd always be an outcast. Yeah,

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they would always make fun of him, and that would just be the

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end of the story. It would
there'd be no silver bell lining the story.

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It sucks to be off. Yeah, Okay, walking in a winter

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wonderland? Do you know what I'm
about to say on this one thinks,

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So go ahead, frolic and play
the Eskimo way. God, we can't,

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guys, come on, that's cultural
appropriation, Like you're making assumption that

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some other culture all they do is
frolic and play. Yeah, that's kind

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of the least of the song's worries
if you think about it. I mean,

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don't act like you know what an
entire culture is all about. Just

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don't do that, right, bad
idea? Yeah, okay. Next,

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Similarly, the Christmas song Chestnuts Roasting
and an open fire or on an open

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fire, folks dressed up like Eskimos. I tell you, everybody, we

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really had it out for those all
right, Like what the fuck I know,

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stop singing about Eskimos, saying,
don't assume that Eskimos like own all

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Christmas time behaviors like the fuck tear. My cousin who lived in Canada went

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to this camp one time, was
a summer camp or something in Ohio or

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something like that, and she said
she lived in Canada, and this kid

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is like, oh, do you
live in an igloo? Oh my god.

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Although when me and my family and
my family and I whatever moved from

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Alabama to New Mexico, I was
under the impression that it was like just

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sand everywhere and camels and shit camels. Yeah, I was pumped. I

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mean I was excited. And then
when we got there and it was like

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a regular ass town. And then
my dad was going to go to the

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grocery store before we got to our
new house, and I want to go

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with him because I wanted to see
what a Mexican looked like. Oh gosh,

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wow, Jesus Christ, you're part
of the problem. She was,

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all right, Moving on to it's
beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

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You know what's wrong with this song, Shelley, I'm not sure? All

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right? Let me let me read
this lyric now sing it. A pair

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of hop along boots and a pistol
that shoots is the wish of Barney and

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Ben Dolls. That'll talk and we'll
go for a walk is the hope of

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Janice and Jen. What's the problem
here? I would have loved to have

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the pistol so it reinforces gender stereotypes
for the ways for the weak little girls

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and guns for the boys shoot shit
and hop along boots boots? Oh?

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Is that what that is? Well, I'm just making horse sounds. Hop

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along Cassidy, I don't know it's
yeah, it's probably cowboy boots. Don't

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you think Mary just showed her age
again? Hop along boots? I bet

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some of her friends in fourth grade
got hop along boots for Christmas. No,

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I'm using the context clues to piece
this together. Listeners help me out

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here. Okay, so super gender
um gender stereotypes, yes, okay,

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Frosty the Snowman, you know the
problem is here. In my opinion,

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it's my opinion, we have a
grown ass man, not a boy,

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not a Frosty the snow boy who's
playing with children. Your parents are entrusting

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you to like your kids to be
a babysat by this weird grown man snow

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man. And then he's just gonna
melt and die. He's gonna die,

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and your kids are gonna be traumatized
anymore. But if your kids are gonna

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be traumatized while their friend who's this
weird snow man, you know what I

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mean, and he's gonna die and
then puddle, and that's so traumatized.

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Bach of the West, right,
Okay, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus.

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That's just all sorts of fucked up. It's also traumatizing children because okay,

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you're watching your mother kiss Santa Okay, so the idea is that it's

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dead Dad's dressed up as Santa sure, and Mom's kissing dad. And I

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didn't actually get that until I was
way older. Oh what did you think

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that she was kissing on Santa Claus? Oh? Really yes, because when

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you believe in Santa Claus, it's
not going to be your dad. Well,

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exact the actual Santa clause at your
mom's kissing adultery well, not only

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that, it's traumatized into your kid. So you either have to fess up

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and say, oh, sorry,
a little Timmy or whoever, little Janey.

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I don't know why I'm coming up
with these names, because its names

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Tim and Jane and Janey. Put
down your little hop along boots. Mommy

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wasn't kissing actual Santa Claus. Mommy
was kissing daddy dressed up at Santa Claus.

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Mommy, why was Daddy dressed up
as Santa Claus? Where Santa's Santa

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not real and fake? See,
you either have to say Santa is not

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real or you have to admit to
the affair. What do you do?

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There's there's traumatize your kids. You
traumatize your kids. Here's what you do.

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You sing a song about it.
That's what you do. Uh huh

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00:14:43.519 --> 00:14:46.639
uh. And then this is a
weird line that a kid is singing.

204
00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:50.960
Oh, what a laugh it would
have been if Daddy had only seen I

205
00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:54.879
think it's supposed to bean and seen
maybe a rhyme they always make ben and

206
00:14:54.080 --> 00:14:58.559
seeing rhyme they don't anyway, if
daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus

207
00:14:58.600 --> 00:15:01.759
last night, what a laugh it
would be you know, and when I

208
00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:07.279
see my parents engaged in adultery,
it's just funny. It's a nice slapper.

209
00:15:07.879 --> 00:15:13.840
Oh, hilarious. That is a
little weird. I forgot about that

210
00:15:13.919 --> 00:15:16.919
section of the song, isn't it
weird? Okay, most wonderful time of

211
00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:24.240
the year. It's the most wonderful
time of the year. Yeah, it's

212
00:15:24.279 --> 00:15:33.519
forced happiness, shelly, seriously,
seriously, much jingle belling and everyone telling

213
00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:39.080
you of good gee, damn it
better. Don't be sad. Don't be

214
00:15:39.120 --> 00:15:41.519
sad. It's Christmas, for fox
sake. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

215
00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:45.480
It's Christmas, that's right. Pat
that smile on, that's right.

216
00:15:45.559 --> 00:15:50.360
Turn that frown upside down. It's
Christmas, right, don't be sad.

217
00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:52.360
It's the most wonderful time of the
year. It is. Yeah, all

218
00:15:52.440 --> 00:15:54.000
right, this is a little bit
of a stretch, but I thought it

219
00:15:54.039 --> 00:15:56.440
was really funny when I heard it
the other day. Okay, we wish

220
00:15:56.440 --> 00:16:02.000
you a merry Christmas. You know
what's wrong with a song. It's rude,

221
00:16:02.600 --> 00:16:08.480
threatening behavior by a bunch of hungry
carolers. Just wait, please explain.

222
00:16:10.480 --> 00:16:12.480
Um. Oh, bring us some
figgy pudding. Oh, oh,

223
00:16:12.519 --> 00:16:15.399
bring us some figgy pudding. Bring
us some fig pudding, and bring it

224
00:16:15.480 --> 00:16:18.519
right here. We won't go until
we get some. We won't go until

225
00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:22.159
we get some. We won't go
until we get some. So bring it

226
00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:23.799
right here. Yeah, that is
aggressive. I don't think that's a stretch

227
00:16:23.840 --> 00:16:30.759
at all. That's blackmail. Wow, I'm gonna camp out. We're hungry,

228
00:16:30.840 --> 00:16:33.399
kitch, pass right here on your
porch. Yeah, we're not leaving

229
00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:37.039
until you feed us. What the
fuck that is? Anyway? Am I

230
00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:38.879
gonna make it? I don't know. I think i'd rather have whastle.

231
00:16:40.440 --> 00:16:42.320
You know, here we come a
whastling. Yeah, yeah, would you

232
00:16:42.399 --> 00:16:47.799
rather have um cider and pumpkin pie? That's later in the show. Okay,

233
00:16:47.879 --> 00:16:52.840
sorry, carry on all right?
Seriously, Eartha kit and Madonna Santa

234
00:16:52.919 --> 00:16:56.399
Baby. Seriously, it's so I'm
a whore by me shit? Yeah,

235
00:16:56.639 --> 00:17:02.440
materialistic? Um, Yeah, give
me a fucking diamond ring and some right

236
00:17:02.600 --> 00:17:06.160
minx or whatever she wants. Sable
put a sable in the house, added

237
00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:07.839
to a house. Yeah, I
mean i'd take that. I mean,

238
00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:11.759
like, oh, it's a fun
cutesy song. Sure, however you want

239
00:17:11.799 --> 00:17:17.519
to seduce Santa and yeah to Baby, I don't know, I've never liked

240
00:17:17.519 --> 00:17:19.680
that song. If I'm being honest, Well, you just wouldn't throw yourself

241
00:17:19.759 --> 00:17:23.440
at Santa. No, he's kind
of gross. Maybe missus Claus and well

242
00:17:23.640 --> 00:17:29.240
she's kind of older, oh really
like older than you even. Okay,

243
00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:33.640
Plus she likes to knit, she
wants to do We don't know. Maybe

244
00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:36.920
she's cool and slutty. I don't
I don't know. I have no idea

245
00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:40.079
what she's like. That changed my
entire view of Christmas. Thank you very

246
00:17:40.160 --> 00:17:45.240
much. Ye slutty missus Claus,
missus Claws. Well, you know Santa's

247
00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:48.440
out doing his thing. I mean, he's out there kissing the moms,

248
00:17:48.519 --> 00:17:52.880
right, so missus Claus should get
some, That's what I'm saying. Okay,

249
00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:57.839
Grandma got run over by a raindeer. I just well, here's the

250
00:17:57.880 --> 00:18:02.279
thing. She's poured drunk, Grandma, like she's had too much egg nog

251
00:18:02.359 --> 00:18:04.759
at a party or whatever. Seriously, she forgot to take her meds.

252
00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:07.960
That is in the song. She
forgot to take her medication, and she

253
00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:14.400
like has a hoofprint on her forehead
from being run over by dear God.

254
00:18:14.599 --> 00:18:18.880
Yeah. Oh, and this is
a great lyric It's not Christmas without Grandma.

255
00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:22.440
All the families dressed in black and
we just can't help. But wonder

256
00:18:22.680 --> 00:18:29.960
should we open up her gifts or
send them back? What the fuck Grandma's

257
00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:37.279
Jesus? Oh, do you hear
what I hear? It's a blatant disregard

258
00:18:37.319 --> 00:18:41.079
for the hearing and later seeing impaired
When they say do you see what I

259
00:18:41.160 --> 00:18:44.839
see? There's no do you smell
what I do? You smell what I

260
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:48.519
smell? Like? Manger smells yeah, cowshit, cow shit, yep.

261
00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:52.240
And who are the people hearing all
that? Is it like a shepherd boy?

262
00:18:52.279 --> 00:18:55.799
It's like a shepherd boy. Yeah, the shepherd boy just kind of

263
00:18:55.799 --> 00:18:59.720
like hanging around this day. Shepherd
boy. Oh, for sure. Girls

264
00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:03.759
don't do shit Chmas time. No, it's the only thing a girl does

265
00:19:03.799 --> 00:19:08.720
for Christmas. Is Mary gets knocked
up by God in an adulterous situation pedophilia

266
00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:14.079
situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's forced to um give birth

267
00:19:14.119 --> 00:19:17.960
to the newborn king, probably rejected
at the end because you know, like

268
00:19:18.039 --> 00:19:21.440
Jesus was a bastard. Oh I
just said that Jesus was a bastard.

269
00:19:21.480 --> 00:19:25.599
Well yeah, maybe born out of
wedlock, you know. And so they

270
00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:29.160
had to go to the stable because
they weren't fit to be in the inn

271
00:19:29.160 --> 00:19:33.759
with the respectable folk. Nope,
it's scandalous if you think about it.

272
00:19:33.839 --> 00:19:37.839
Truly, it's like a lifetime movie. And that's how Jesus story. Jesus

273
00:19:37.880 --> 00:19:41.039
stories a lifetime it really is.
We should make it into one. Oh,

274
00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:45.519
jingle bell rock, it's animal abuse, right, here's the lyric,

275
00:19:45.960 --> 00:19:48.799
giddy up, jingle horse, pick
up your feet. Oh, let's go,

276
00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:56.000
let's go, jingle horse, entertain
us, Mary stretching the shit out

277
00:19:56.000 --> 00:20:00.319
so much. I love it.
White Christmas? Is it just about wanting

278
00:20:00.319 --> 00:20:04.000
it to snow? Is it about
the white and delights in Christmas which leads

279
00:20:04.039 --> 00:20:10.920
us to motab Absolutely? Okay,
so we've talked about sleigh ride a million

280
00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:12.119
times. We're not going to play
that clip this year. If you want

281
00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:17.559
to hear that funny clip about the
last two Christmas episode, now the Coffee

282
00:20:17.599 --> 00:20:22.119
and the pumpkin Pie or the cider
and the pumpkin pie. Say the word

283
00:20:22.119 --> 00:20:25.279
coffee, Yeah, can't even say
it. Um Oh. Also, you

284
00:20:25.319 --> 00:20:26.960
were saying that joy to the world, heaven and nature, saying when do

285
00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:30.559
they change it to? Yeah,
the Mormon switch it up to saints and

286
00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:33.480
angels sing, We've got to throw
saints in there because we are the Latter

287
00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:37.079
day Saints. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, we'll be singing with the angels.

288
00:20:37.319 --> 00:20:41.119
Uh huh. This reminds me of
something else that Christians have done with

289
00:20:41.279 --> 00:20:45.400
Have yourself a Mary Little Christmas.
I think it's um, through the years,

290
00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:49.480
we all will be together. Maybe
if the fates allow allow that's the

291
00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:55.200
original. If the fates allow what
the Christians do, If the Lord allows,

292
00:20:55.920 --> 00:21:00.440
that's what the Christians change. There's
no faith because the Lord is oh

293
00:21:00.559 --> 00:21:03.160
yeah, yeah, yeah, Lord's
charge. He's moving those chess pieces around

294
00:21:03.160 --> 00:21:06.880
on a board up in heaven somewhere. Yeah. So basically it's like,

295
00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:08.799
well, we'll be together unless you
know, God wants to kill one of

296
00:21:08.880 --> 00:21:17.720
us off. Thanks God. Basically
is what U saying, What a fucker

297
00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:22.799
he is? That's hilarious, you
know. To wrap this section up,

298
00:21:22.279 --> 00:21:27.000
I was going to talk about all
the gay mentions and going on Christmas.

299
00:21:27.079 --> 00:21:30.920
Yeah, lots of gay mentions.
Um, have yourself a Mary Little Christmas

300
00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:34.599
again. Make the Yule Tide gay? I think the Uld Tide should be

301
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:41.599
gay right always? Um, or
the most wonderful time of the year again,

302
00:21:41.720 --> 00:21:44.079
did we talk about that when already? Yeah, we've talked about gayness

303
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:51.119
yet. Oh, just holiday holiday
greetings and gay happy meetings. Meetings come

304
00:21:51.160 --> 00:21:57.839
to call gay happy meetings. Oh, Carol of the bells gaily. They're

305
00:21:57.920 --> 00:22:03.079
rating well, people say songs of
good cheer. Christmas is here, gaily,

306
00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:06.759
gaily. That's not really an adverb
I use very often. I'm gonna

307
00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:11.680
start, yeah, three goal your
new year resolution? Okay, bring back

308
00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:18.759
gaily? H deck the halls.
Don we now are gay apparel? It's

309
00:22:18.920 --> 00:22:23.720
like put on gay clothes. This
is so great. Yeah, flannel,

310
00:22:23.799 --> 00:22:27.440
flannel, maybe some Doc Martins.
Oh hell yeah, cargo pants, cargo

311
00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:33.240
pants. And then we go to
yeah mm hmmm. Oh and I found

312
00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:37.599
this interesting little tidbit. In twenty
thirteen, the Hallmark company came under fire

313
00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:42.000
for removing the word gay from one
of its Christmas ornaments. No ship.

314
00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:47.720
Yeah. So it was like a
tiny sweater on an ornament. Okay,

315
00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:52.880
and the sweater had the expression,
don we now are fun apparel? That

316
00:22:53.039 --> 00:22:56.640
is not the song. You can't
just change coffee to cider those fuckers.

317
00:22:59.079 --> 00:23:03.319
But why haven't they changed the word
dawn? While they're at it? Don

318
00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:07.079
down our apparel? Who says that
you would? But most of the world

319
00:23:07.240 --> 00:23:11.359
wouldn't say Dawn we now, I
wouldn't say that instead of let's get dressed

320
00:23:14.319 --> 00:23:18.599
my shoes. No, I have
never said that on my underwear. Who's

321
00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:23.759
down? Why is she dressing you? It's d o n I know Jesus.

322
00:23:25.880 --> 00:23:29.680
All right, That's all I've got
in this segment for um an inappropriate

323
00:23:29.799 --> 00:23:33.200
Christmas song, loves inappropriate Christmas?
For sure. I guess we should take

324
00:23:33.200 --> 00:23:37.680
a little break. Yep, don't
talk about Utah. Sure, Okay,

325
00:23:37.039 --> 00:23:45.079
well let's do it. We'll be
right bagged. We are back here,

326
00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:49.200
we are, we are. So
you went to Utah a little bit ago.

327
00:23:51.119 --> 00:23:52.119
Your mom had a doctor's appointment.
You wanted to take her too,

328
00:23:52.279 --> 00:23:56.640
Yes, And I hadn't been out
there for a while, so I want

329
00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:59.480
to get out there and see him. I knew that my mom's health was

330
00:23:59.559 --> 00:24:03.680
declined because my brother Mark had been
out there a few times. And you

331
00:24:03.720 --> 00:24:07.039
know, you can't really talk to
her on the phone. Yeah, they

332
00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:10.160
were actually throwing around hospice for her, which when you went out there and

333
00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:14.240
you were describing your time with her, it seemed like that's not yet the

334
00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:18.079
case, right. It seems like
you're way is away from hospital and this

335
00:24:18.160 --> 00:24:19.799
is the thing. It depends.
But let me let me back up.

336
00:24:19.839 --> 00:24:22.720
This might take two episodes, but
let me let me start from from go

337
00:24:23.079 --> 00:24:29.359
okay, Once upon a time,
just killing Okay. So I flew in

338
00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:33.400
to the Salt Like airport. Wow, you are really going back. I'm

339
00:24:33.400 --> 00:24:37.839
actually going to go back. I
flew into the Detroit airport. You got

340
00:24:37.880 --> 00:24:40.359
the right airport this time, I
did. I did. It's very happy

341
00:24:40.359 --> 00:24:42.759
about that. I had to lay
over there of like fifteen minutes, not

342
00:24:42.839 --> 00:24:47.559
a good thing. So they dumped
me off on Gate A one and I

343
00:24:47.559 --> 00:24:51.559
needed to get to Gate A seventy
eight, and so I thought, well,

344
00:24:51.559 --> 00:24:53.960
I can walk this. So I
started walking, and then I started

345
00:24:55.039 --> 00:24:57.400
jogging. And then I realized after
five minutes of jogging, and I'm not

346
00:24:57.440 --> 00:25:02.519
in shape right now at all carrying
luggage. I'm like at Gate A twenty

347
00:25:02.519 --> 00:25:06.000
six or some shit. So now
I'm panicking because I can hear them all

348
00:25:06.039 --> 00:25:10.880
the way down the hall saying last
call for boarding to Salt Lake City.

349
00:25:10.880 --> 00:25:15.359
I'm like fuck. So I run
to some other gate and say, hey,

350
00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:18.599
can you call ahead to Gate seventy
eight blah blah blah, Like yeah,

351
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:21.000
why don't you take the tram I
didn't know there was a tram.

352
00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:23.200
Oh shit, I didn't see the
tram. So I ran upstairs to trim

353
00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:25.920
and yeah, they got me there, but I was still late. I'm

354
00:25:25.920 --> 00:25:29.480
like hauling ass through all the chairs
and ship to get there. And there

355
00:25:29.480 --> 00:25:30.920
were like two agents staying there,
and one's like, it's okay, you

356
00:25:30.920 --> 00:25:36.759
don't have to run. The other
one goes you better hurry. I know.

357
00:25:36.799 --> 00:25:40.119
It's funny. So there's nothing more
fun than getting on a plane that

358
00:25:40.200 --> 00:25:44.440
they have held up for you and
having to walk down the aisle with your

359
00:25:44.519 --> 00:25:48.279
luggage hitting people on the head as
you're walking, and they know, the

360
00:25:48.680 --> 00:25:52.920
people there know that it's your fault
that they're running late. Yeah, what

361
00:25:52.039 --> 00:25:56.279
do you just carrying your luggage and
your arms? Is that why? I

362
00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:59.839
had a backpack and I had two
backpacks, and I had the bigger ones

363
00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:02.920
lung over only one shoulder, which
isn't good because then it's like heavy on

364
00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:06.359
the right side with a big neck
pillow on it, and so that was

365
00:26:06.440 --> 00:26:08.400
hitting people in the face. Yeah. Wow, you sound like a good

366
00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:12.759
time on an airplane. Such a
good time. How many airplane neck pillows

367
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:17.119
do you own at this point?
So this is a It's like a running

368
00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:19.680
joke between It used to be a
cause for contention. Now it's just a

369
00:26:19.720 --> 00:26:23.079
running joke. Marriage given in trying
to make me stop this. But I

370
00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:30.720
always of the time forget to bring
my airplane pillow when I travel and I

371
00:26:30.759 --> 00:26:33.960
get to the airport. Now I'm
like, fuck, and so I buy

372
00:26:33.960 --> 00:26:37.039
another airplane pillow. I probably have
at least twenty in my closet, you

373
00:26:37.119 --> 00:26:42.519
thank Yeah, that many sit fifteen
minimum. I mean I have taken several.

374
00:26:42.720 --> 00:26:45.160
I use them like to read and
stuff in bed. I put them

375
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:48.400
under my behind my neck, and
I have them like at all of our

376
00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:52.039
airbnbs and everywhere. I've got one
everywhere, Yeah for every place. Yeah,

377
00:26:52.559 --> 00:26:56.119
yeah, that I inherited from Shelley. Yes, but I did remember

378
00:26:56.359 --> 00:26:59.319
this time. Oh yeah, look
at you go? No, thank you?

379
00:26:59.519 --> 00:27:02.759
Wow? Any who, so we
land in salt like I don't know

380
00:27:02.759 --> 00:27:06.920
if those of you know this who
were kind of newer listeners. But back

381
00:27:06.960 --> 00:27:11.680
in the day Mary created a ring
tone. Can they still download that?

382
00:27:11.880 --> 00:27:15.240
Yeah? Yeah, yeats camp.
Anyone can download it. If you're anyone

383
00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:18.839
at all, you can download this. Well, why don't you just tell

384
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:21.079
what it is and then I'll say
the link to get there. Well,

385
00:27:21.079 --> 00:27:23.359
I want you to sing it.
It's the fucked up more men call of

386
00:27:23.480 --> 00:27:27.079
the day, but m bomb.
So let's just call the dancer phrase.

387
00:27:27.359 --> 00:27:30.079
So we've talked about the ring tone. I know it's been a while,

388
00:27:30.119 --> 00:27:33.359
but it's so great, and that
is my dad's ring tone. I think

389
00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:36.599
you can just go to letterday lesbian
dot org slash ring tones. Okay,

390
00:27:36.640 --> 00:27:37.960
go find it. I think that's
what that is. Anyway, it's phenomenal.

391
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:41.640
So every time your dad calls,
which is a lot, it's at

392
00:27:41.720 --> 00:27:45.240
least once a day. Oh,
but when I was in Utah, it

393
00:27:45.279 --> 00:27:49.920
was probably every thirty minutes average,
like like Psycho and so kip. It's

394
00:27:49.960 --> 00:27:55.079
the second we land, right,
you know, we pull into the Oh

395
00:27:55.119 --> 00:27:57.680
there's clean and explicit versions on that
link. By the way, Oh,

396
00:27:57.720 --> 00:28:03.039
what's the not fucked it's the fed
up I chose. I went with fucked

397
00:28:03.079 --> 00:28:07.039
up. Yeah. Yeah, my
ringer was on super loud. I didn't

398
00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:12.680
realize it, and of course my
dad calls and it blasts. I was

399
00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:15.839
on the airplane, but it was
quite on the airplane because we were like

400
00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:18.759
we had taxied up to the gate
thing and we're just waiting for them.

401
00:28:18.799 --> 00:28:22.640
To open the door. Anyways,
had laughed myself, so I didn't really

402
00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:25.200
care, and I'm sure there were
Mormons there, but I did turn my

403
00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:30.359
finger down a bit. So the
drive m it doesn't matter. Didn't you

404
00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:33.440
rent a card or not? I
did, but it was an orum doesn't

405
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:37.279
matter. Okay, So the drive
back, my dad just starts calling.

406
00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:41.640
He can't not call. Um he's
got dementia, but he also has OCD

407
00:28:41.839 --> 00:28:45.359
for sure, one hundred percent.
This is not me like making fun of

408
00:28:45.359 --> 00:28:52.119
an OCD issue, but it's so
fucking annoying with my dad because I don't

409
00:28:52.119 --> 00:28:55.279
think he called because he forgets to
call. Maybe some of it. I

410
00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:59.000
don't think he calls because he thinks
he has important things to say. I

411
00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:00.720
don't know. But it's it's like
he gets this urge to call and he

412
00:29:00.759 --> 00:29:03.279
can't not call. Yeah, I
know, too bad. He can't just

413
00:29:03.400 --> 00:29:07.480
channel that OCD energy to someplace.
So it's something else, like cleaning cleaning

414
00:29:07.519 --> 00:29:10.880
he does. He does that to
picking up little pieces of lint off my

415
00:29:10.920 --> 00:29:14.599
mom's carpet. Oh wow, he's
fastidious. He is. He is,

416
00:29:14.960 --> 00:29:18.400
and again like a person word I
don't even know what that meant. But

417
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:22.079
again, not making fun of anyone
who suffers from OCD. I'm just explaining

418
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:26.599
how it is for me dealing with
my dad with the OCD. Well,

419
00:29:26.680 --> 00:29:29.799
I have to say, you know
you're venting about it now, but on

420
00:29:29.839 --> 00:29:33.359
the phone with him, you are
so patient. Thank you, because it's

421
00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:38.160
literally the same conversation every time he
calls you. Yeah, whether it's daily

422
00:29:38.279 --> 00:29:41.880
or multiple times a day, and
I know it's going to be zact and

423
00:29:41.559 --> 00:29:47.960
conversation. I didn't have that sort
of patience with my mother quicksidebar. My

424
00:29:48.039 --> 00:29:51.519
mother would tell me the same story
more than once. I would just help

425
00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:55.440
her with filling in the details and
an engaging, interactive way. Sure,

426
00:29:55.480 --> 00:29:57.160
I bet she appreciated that. Well, she didn't at all. I'd be

427
00:29:57.279 --> 00:30:00.640
like, she'd start telling the story. I was like, oh, yeah,

428
00:30:00.640 --> 00:30:03.200
that's the story where you left your
I don't know, purse or whatever

429
00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:06.000
in Pat's car, whatever happened with
that, right, I was trying to

430
00:30:06.039 --> 00:30:08.759
be engaging, and she'd say,
well, you could at least pretend you'd

431
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:15.799
never heard it before. So much
for making conversation. Yeah, so much.

432
00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:18.880
But you're really good about pretending you've
never heard it before. Thank you.

433
00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:22.359
You really are. I mean,
I under as much as annoying as

434
00:30:22.359 --> 00:30:25.599
it is, I understand that he
can't control it, and it doesn't do

435
00:30:25.640 --> 00:30:27.400
any good to get angry at him, doesn't do any good to point it

436
00:30:27.400 --> 00:30:33.720
out because it's no And I feel
like he probably doesn't realize how bad his

437
00:30:33.799 --> 00:30:37.960
dementia is because I think that I
don't know. Probably not, yeah,

438
00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:41.079
because that's part of dementia's You don't
know that you're dealing with it. Possibly,

439
00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:45.559
Why would I want to sort of
shame him and remind him of him

440
00:30:45.599 --> 00:30:49.200
getting old and having dementia, Like
that's, oh yeah, you're you're very

441
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:53.880
patient, thank you. So you're
patient with older people as you are with

442
00:30:53.880 --> 00:30:57.039
your children. You're a very patient
person. Thank you. Maybe I'm just

443
00:30:57.039 --> 00:31:00.559
too lazy to actually'd fucking say anything. You're not really listening, that could

444
00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:03.240
be well, you know when to
stop listening. Like when my dad calls,

445
00:31:03.240 --> 00:31:06.960
I just tune out. I know
when he pauses, I say,

446
00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:10.960
oh yeah, Dad thinks that's awesome, Like I get it. Anyway,

447
00:31:11.119 --> 00:31:14.680
As I'm driving toward or Um,
my dad starts calling, and of course

448
00:31:14.680 --> 00:31:15.880
he's asking me what time I'm going
to be there for the twelfth time,

449
00:31:15.880 --> 00:31:19.720
and I just remind him and everything. But the best best slash worst part

450
00:31:21.000 --> 00:31:23.599
is he keeps saying, well,
now do you know where to park?

451
00:31:23.960 --> 00:31:26.720
And you know I've been there a
bunch of times. Oh yeah, Dad,

452
00:31:26.720 --> 00:31:29.960
there's a there's a parking lot there. Well, you can't park in

453
00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:33.359
the musing dad voice, Well,
you can't park in the parking lot because

454
00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:36.960
it's only for residents. And I'm
thinking, how may those residents actually drive?

455
00:31:37.640 --> 00:31:38.759
Yeah, you don't want them to
be driving. Probably, No,

456
00:31:40.079 --> 00:31:41.519
you certainly don't want your parents drive. Oh god, no, they haven't

457
00:31:41.599 --> 00:31:45.200
driven in forever. And so he
was telling me, Oh, you need

458
00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:48.039
it. You need to park at
Magglebees and just walk across the street.

459
00:31:48.359 --> 00:31:49.960
Like okay, Dad, I'll go
out there and wait for you to show

460
00:31:49.960 --> 00:31:53.319
you Dora park my dad, it's
snowing. Like no, Dad, Dad,

461
00:31:53.319 --> 00:31:56.000
you don't need to oy. Yeah
yeah, I'll hope you get across

462
00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:00.599
the street like Dad, I know
how to cross a street. Like I

463
00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:02.920
can do this, you can?
I sure she can't. Well, you

464
00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:05.559
know, I need to show you
where the door is, Like Dad,

465
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:07.759
I know where the door is.
Why don't you go inside and warm up?

466
00:32:07.799 --> 00:32:09.640
I know it's snowing, Go inside, warm up. I'll just call

467
00:32:09.680 --> 00:32:13.839
you soon as I get there.
Wow, okay, ten minutes later,

468
00:32:13.920 --> 00:32:16.119
Ah, so looks like there's parking
on the street. My dad, go

469
00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:22.440
inside. There's been outside the whole
time? Yes, Why because he didn't

470
00:32:22.480 --> 00:32:25.640
think that his daughter knew how to
drive or park or walk or find a

471
00:32:25.720 --> 00:32:31.160
door. You know, we're helpless
women, little ladies. Would he do

472
00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:35.359
the same for your brothers? No? Really? Yeah, okay, he

473
00:32:35.440 --> 00:32:37.680
might call a few times or reminding
where in the park, but he's not

474
00:32:37.720 --> 00:32:39.480
going to make sure they could walk
across a road like stand out in the

475
00:32:39.480 --> 00:32:43.319
parking lot. I should compare notes
with your brother Mark to see if he's

476
00:32:43.359 --> 00:32:45.559
ever had that. You should ask
if he ever if he ever stands in

477
00:32:45.559 --> 00:32:49.680
the snow waiting for him to help
him get across the street. I doubt

478
00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:52.000
it. I sincerely doubt it.
Oh my god. So, as I'm

479
00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:57.599
getting closer and closer, he's literally
calling every ten fifteen minutes reminding me of

480
00:32:57.599 --> 00:33:00.119
where to be right the last time
because I'm like, Dad, I'll be

481
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:02.599
there in a minute. Just go
inside. I know where to park,

482
00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:07.519
YadA YadA. As I'm pulling up, I'm like, I don't even want

483
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:09.200
to see him, right now I
want to go spend time with my mom,

484
00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:13.160
because when I'm with my mom and
my dad, my dad really takes

485
00:33:13.160 --> 00:33:17.240
over the conversation and he's very speaks
for her. He does granted she can't

486
00:33:17.240 --> 00:33:21.559
really speak for herself right now,
but he's always spoken for her, and

487
00:33:21.640 --> 00:33:24.160
he's very down, like, well, your mom's arthritis and blah blah blah

488
00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:28.920
and Russia and Ukraine, and I
mean, it's always just something end of

489
00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:35.599
worlds shit. So I parked around
the side of the building and I snuck

490
00:33:35.640 --> 00:33:38.079
in the side door so I wouldn't
have to see my dad because I wanted

491
00:33:38.119 --> 00:33:42.039
some time with my mom. So
I went in there and I'm sitting there

492
00:33:42.400 --> 00:33:46.279
chatting with my mom and will not
really chatting. I'm just kind of saying

493
00:33:46.319 --> 00:33:50.960
hi to her and hugging her.
She she wasn't being at all conversational at

494
00:33:50.960 --> 00:33:54.440
all the first night I was there, and within a few minutes, I

495
00:33:54.559 --> 00:34:00.519
look out through the blinds and there's
my dad staring into her room. Why

496
00:34:00.519 --> 00:34:02.839
did he just come in because he
was trying to wait for me to in

497
00:34:02.839 --> 00:34:07.200
the snow, to show me where
to park and how to walk. I

498
00:34:07.240 --> 00:34:08.000
got a great picture of that.
By the way, too, when he

499
00:34:08.079 --> 00:34:13.239
should probably make that the picture that
goes with this episode, okay, of

500
00:34:13.400 --> 00:34:15.719
my dad in the snow, staring
into a window, and I'm like,

501
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:20.320
oh my god. Then I part
of the blinds and saw my dad now

502
00:34:20.440 --> 00:34:22.159
just trying to call me over and
over. Oh okay, see who's on

503
00:34:22.199 --> 00:34:24.960
the phone trying to call me?
Is your fucked up Mormon call of the

504
00:34:25.079 --> 00:34:29.639
day ringtone? Hell? Absolutely,
This is why it's so funny to me.

505
00:34:29.880 --> 00:34:34.440
Did your mom flinch? No?
However, finally answered the phone,

506
00:34:34.440 --> 00:34:36.000
I'm like, oh, yeah,
Dad, I'm inside. How would you

507
00:34:36.000 --> 00:34:37.079
get in there? Like? I
just went inside the door? He was?

508
00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:39.679
He was. You couldn't believe it. No, I couldn't believe you

509
00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:44.719
got in there on your own?
Yeah, Like wow, how what kind

510
00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:49.400
of a miracle that's a dendermercy?
Is a Dendo mercy? Well, maybe

511
00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:52.559
you're a little more intelligent than he
gives you credit for. Could be Could

512
00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:54.719
you figured out how to get into
a building all on your own? Well,

513
00:34:54.719 --> 00:34:58.119
at first I figured out how to
park, where to park, and

514
00:34:58.159 --> 00:35:01.519
how to walk. Yeah, you're
doing You're doing a great job. Thanks.

515
00:35:01.519 --> 00:35:07.440
Thanks. Despite my upbringing, the
first time I got any reaction out

516
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:09.440
of my mom that first evening and
that I was there was when I told

517
00:35:09.480 --> 00:35:14.800
her that I snuck in past Dada
and that he's standing out in the snow

518
00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:16.960
not knowing where I am, but
I snuck passing because I don't want to

519
00:35:16.960 --> 00:35:21.639
deal with him. She smiled.
I got a smile out of her.

520
00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:25.639
There's something some kind of connection between
me and my mom making fun of my

521
00:35:25.719 --> 00:35:30.039
dad that we kind of bond over
yea, And that always makes her smile,

522
00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:34.679
always lifts her spirits, And I
know I can always bring that when

523
00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:37.480
I'm visiting. So now, in
my regular fashion, I'm going to back

524
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:42.280
up. Oh where are we going? Mary loves a good backup. I'm

525
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:45.079
like, where where is the story
headed? I said, wherever I take

526
00:35:45.119 --> 00:35:49.920
it, wherever it lands. Listeners, just try to keep up, stay

527
00:35:49.960 --> 00:35:52.239
on board. We have to reverse
and try to stay awake. Yeah what

528
00:35:54.480 --> 00:36:01.119
wake everybody? Okay. So,
for some re in this particular drive from

529
00:36:01.159 --> 00:36:05.840
Salt Lake to Oorum, maybe because
it wasn't dark out yet I got in

530
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:09.480
at like two o'clock, I was
just having a lot of nostalgia, I

531
00:36:09.519 --> 00:36:14.519
guess, just from seeing the landscape. Yeah, but lots of lots of

532
00:36:14.559 --> 00:36:19.639
memories just coming through and maybe it's
because I'm not angry anymore. I think

533
00:36:19.960 --> 00:36:22.599
I'm more like like that was my
story, that was my upbringing. I

534
00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:24.960
don't know it's weird. I'm not
angry. I just don't think I'm angry

535
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:28.480
anymore. Well good, I mean, I don't know. Be whatever you're

536
00:36:28.519 --> 00:36:30.559
gonna say, I mean, because
you too, It doesn't matter. Moved

537
00:36:30.599 --> 00:36:34.440
through a lot of that. Yes, And that doesn't mean I'm better or

538
00:36:34.440 --> 00:36:37.920
I've improved. Doesn't mean a damn
thing except for for me personally. I've

539
00:36:37.960 --> 00:36:42.320
moved through the anger. Does it
feel better to not carry anger around?

540
00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:47.159
Yes. Having said that, other
memories then started popping up, and it

541
00:36:47.239 --> 00:36:51.880
was weird because it was God,
I don't even know how to describe it.

542
00:36:51.880 --> 00:36:57.199
It's it's like there were a lot
of not great memories in my marriage.

543
00:36:57.360 --> 00:37:01.079
It's very difficult. Sure. At
the same time, I always enjoyed

544
00:37:01.599 --> 00:37:06.719
Christmas time in Utah like snowy and
it felt like Christmas, and it smelled

545
00:37:06.760 --> 00:37:09.239
like Christmas and you'd go see family, and so it was weird to have

546
00:37:09.519 --> 00:37:15.159
these good memories but also the bad
memories. At the same time, it

547
00:37:15.199 --> 00:37:17.519
was almost like it was more good
memories because I wasn't angry anymore. Yeah,

548
00:37:19.159 --> 00:37:22.960
either memory good, bad, in
different They're all valid, right,

549
00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:25.320
But to have I don't know,
it's like the less angry memories. Does

550
00:37:25.360 --> 00:37:30.679
this make any sense? Feeling?
The angry memories were not there, Okay,

551
00:37:31.039 --> 00:37:34.840
it was the good memories that were
there. And then that kind of

552
00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:38.760
threw me off because typically back in
Utah, angry memories, right, So

553
00:37:38.840 --> 00:37:43.960
it was this weird feeling of I
don't want to say visiting home because it

554
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:49.119
wasn't quite like that, but it
was visiting something familiar, but not not

555
00:37:49.199 --> 00:37:52.760
in an angry way that it was. It was just in a this is

556
00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:57.280
my past feelings? Did it make
sense? Good feelings about it? Sad?

557
00:37:57.360 --> 00:37:59.719
What were you feeling? I don't
know. It wasn't good like,

558
00:37:59.719 --> 00:38:01.280
oh my gosh, I loved it
here, and it wasn't sad like like,

559
00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:06.480
oh this sucked. It was it
was nostalgia, yeah, but usually

560
00:38:06.519 --> 00:38:08.400
I think that we when we talk
about nostalgia, we talk about good feelings.

561
00:38:08.960 --> 00:38:12.400
It was like I was feeling the
feelings of when I was there.

562
00:38:12.840 --> 00:38:15.360
You are good at that? Though? Am I better or worse? When

563
00:38:15.360 --> 00:38:20.079
I think of old memories For the
most part, unless it's of my father

564
00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:22.360
dying. I don't really picture it
so vividly. I think you just have

565
00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:27.360
a really vivid picture of a lot
of things. I think, so it's

566
00:38:27.400 --> 00:38:30.559
probably trauma. It's probably a trauma. Yeah, trauma response. I'm constantly

567
00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:35.800
having nightmares awake or sleep you are, Yeah, because that's why I probably

568
00:38:35.800 --> 00:38:39.239
can remember finding my father dead.
Is because it's a trauma response and I

569
00:38:40.079 --> 00:38:43.559
remember it. You know, I
can't make it go away. It's imprinted

570
00:38:43.599 --> 00:38:46.079
on my brain. Yeah. So
I think similarly, you just have these

571
00:38:46.760 --> 00:38:52.079
really visceral responses to memories because it's
probably a lot of it as trauma.

572
00:38:52.199 --> 00:38:55.639
Sure, like some of the things
you've been through with some of the fun

573
00:38:55.719 --> 00:39:00.119
patriarchs in your life. Good times, Yeah, good time. We get

574
00:39:00.119 --> 00:39:04.239
into that more on scandal session.
We do, fact the most recent scandal

575
00:39:04.239 --> 00:39:07.280
session. It's about family. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty in depth.

576
00:39:07.519 --> 00:39:12.159
Yes, yeah, saved it for
scandals. I don't want that out everywhere.

577
00:39:12.440 --> 00:39:15.039
Yeah, you really don't, Yeah, you don't. I'm wondering too,

578
00:39:15.079 --> 00:39:20.599
if my drive was more nostalgic,
whatever you want to call it,

579
00:39:20.679 --> 00:39:23.639
less angry, more feeling feelings that
are not I wish there was a word

580
00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:27.920
for the feeling I can't get that
feeling into words. I U see.

581
00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:30.159
A'm good at describing feelings, but
this is escaping me. It kind of

582
00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:36.320
felt like it wasn't that long ago, but it was. And the Christmas

583
00:39:36.320 --> 00:39:39.440
Eve feelings were there, but they
were distant, but they weren't gone when

584
00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:44.719
they used to be just gone?
Is it conflicting because those memories were steeped

585
00:39:44.719 --> 00:39:47.320
in Mormonism for you, you know, for some reason, that didn't cross

586
00:39:47.400 --> 00:39:52.800
my mind, the Mormon aspect of
it. And I'm just talking about the

587
00:39:52.880 --> 00:39:55.519
drive there. I mean, some
Mormon shit obviously seeped in on the visit

588
00:39:55.559 --> 00:39:59.000
and we'll talk about it later.
Maybe that's what it was. There was

589
00:39:59.119 --> 00:40:04.800
no Mormons shit involved in my feelings
as I was driving, because I wasn't

590
00:40:04.840 --> 00:40:08.079
thinking about the MOTAB. I wasn't
thinking about anything warm and related. Honestly,

591
00:40:08.159 --> 00:40:10.800
there was nothing for that part of
the trip. I didn't you do

592
00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:14.920
some sort of church service with your
parents? Yes, and we will get

593
00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:17.639
I know the Church is true,
Okay, that's what I contribute. That's

594
00:40:17.639 --> 00:40:21.679
what I would say. That's all
I would notice say, which I don't

595
00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:23.400
think the church is do it all
lie? I know the church is fake.

596
00:40:23.480 --> 00:40:25.719
That would be what I would say. Yeah, they probably don't wuld

597
00:40:25.800 --> 00:40:29.159
appreciate that. Yeah, I'd been
kicked out, they'd shut down my mic.

598
00:40:29.400 --> 00:40:32.480
Yeah. I wonder too if my
feelings were what they were in knowing

599
00:40:32.519 --> 00:40:37.679
that my mom is so kind of
near the end dish. I mean,

600
00:40:37.719 --> 00:40:40.639
who knows she could go on living
for a long long time, but she

601
00:40:40.800 --> 00:40:45.199
is mentally checked out. Yea,
And so maybe that was part of it.

602
00:40:46.159 --> 00:40:50.519
It was just so different. I
don't know. I wonder if few

603
00:40:50.599 --> 00:40:53.840
listeners have had a time where you've
sort of worked through your trauma and then

604
00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:59.800
when the anger's gone, like other
things seep in that are not angered,

605
00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:04.840
but they're just I mean, were
they good feelings for you? Good memories

606
00:41:05.000 --> 00:41:09.079
or hard to describe? Yeah,
it wasn't. It wasn't necessarily specific memories,

607
00:41:09.159 --> 00:41:14.760
although I did remember back when we
lived there, I would go horseback

608
00:41:14.880 --> 00:41:15.840
riding up in the mountains and the
snow a lot, and I love that,

609
00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:19.440
And that popped into my head because
the mountains were covered in snow.

610
00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:25.960
And I'm sure you have a conflicting
childhood and young adulthood because you, I'm

611
00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:30.079
sure enjoyed many aspects of it.
Then you had a lot of trauma and

612
00:41:30.079 --> 00:41:34.599
you're abused a lot. Yeah,
so it's it's got to be challenging.

613
00:41:34.719 --> 00:41:37.079
Yeah, you know, you're still
working through your stuff. You may not

614
00:41:37.159 --> 00:41:39.360
feel angry right this minute, or
even most of the time, but yeah,

615
00:41:39.400 --> 00:41:43.480
I'm sure you're still processing. Oh
sure, And so when you go

616
00:41:43.599 --> 00:41:46.199
back there, it's gonna bring up
a lot of things. We are definitely

617
00:41:46.320 --> 00:41:52.199
complex beings. Indeed, there's there's
no black and white. It's just a

618
00:41:52.239 --> 00:41:54.960
big mixture of a bunch of shit. Yeah, and then we peel it

619
00:41:55.000 --> 00:42:00.079
apart and feel different things. And
yeah, I mean, and I'm here

620
00:42:00.119 --> 00:42:04.159
for it, Like really, I'm
along for the ride. I feel like

621
00:42:04.280 --> 00:42:08.639
this as hard as things can be, sometimes as traumatizing as saying it's it's

622
00:42:08.679 --> 00:42:13.119
who I am. Yeah, these
things make me who I am. Could

623
00:42:13.159 --> 00:42:15.599
I have done without some of the
things? Hell yeah, but it is

624
00:42:15.639 --> 00:42:22.159
what it is. And so now
moving through it and having other emotions come

625
00:42:22.199 --> 00:42:24.360
in, other feelings come in,
Like that's the human experience. It's kind

626
00:42:24.360 --> 00:42:29.599
of badass if you think about it, that we have all that within us.

627
00:42:30.079 --> 00:42:35.000
Don't you wish though, that some
of the memories or some of the

628
00:42:35.360 --> 00:42:39.360
events that were not so great that
trigger memories today. Don't you wish you

629
00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:43.079
could just be done with them?
I wish I could be done with them.

630
00:42:43.079 --> 00:42:46.239
Sure, Yeah, it's awful.
Some of them are horrible to have.

631
00:42:46.440 --> 00:42:50.440
I'm not saying that like, oh, I'm I'm so glad that I

632
00:42:50.559 --> 00:42:52.639
was molested when I was date.
Let's think about that now. Fuck,

633
00:42:52.719 --> 00:42:57.199
that absolutely not matter if I hadn't
thought about that in a while. Thanks

634
00:42:57.199 --> 00:43:02.119
for bringing it up, Mary,
But just that we are capable, I

635
00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:07.920
guess, of experiencing so many things
and moving through it and processing it and

636
00:43:08.000 --> 00:43:10.320
feeling the different emotions. I don't
know. Maybe that's just me, Maybe

637
00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:15.119
that's just how I work. Is
now I'm finally recognizing all the shit that

638
00:43:15.199 --> 00:43:17.480
I feel. Well, you're open
to it. You have to be open

639
00:43:17.679 --> 00:43:22.519
to that experience because it's not always
fun, you know, and it doesn't

640
00:43:22.599 --> 00:43:25.400
hit you all at once, and
sometimes it can be like, oh,

641
00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:30.199
I didn't expect to feel this feeling
right now about something completely unrelated that will

642
00:43:30.199 --> 00:43:35.719
happen to me. Yeah, you
and I have difficulty over schedules and planning.

643
00:43:35.840 --> 00:43:38.920
We do. And I got to
thinking about it. Why I can

644
00:43:38.960 --> 00:43:45.760
be so rigid about schedule stuff and
knowing what the schedule is, knowing what

645
00:43:45.840 --> 00:43:49.719
the plan is, knowing what is
expected to me, and all that sort

646
00:43:49.760 --> 00:43:55.000
of thing is because what was the
most unexpected, horrible surprise ever in my

647
00:43:55.199 --> 00:44:00.280
entire life, Oh, finding my
father dead at age twelve. Yeah,

648
00:44:00.280 --> 00:44:01.360
with no one in the house,
no one in the house, no coping

649
00:44:01.400 --> 00:44:06.840
skills, no right, And that
was my main panic attack that I've ever

650
00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:08.840
had in my life. Was then
yeah, right, And that's why it's

651
00:44:08.840 --> 00:44:13.440
so vivid. And that's why I
think I try to control the unexpected.

652
00:44:13.559 --> 00:44:16.719
I just don't like the unexpected.
I like to know what's happening, what

653
00:44:16.840 --> 00:44:20.679
to expect. It's got to be
related to that. It's got to be

654
00:44:20.679 --> 00:44:23.400
related to that. It might be. I'm trying to be like mitigate that

655
00:44:23.480 --> 00:44:30.039
whole process and keep the surprises on
the lowest level. Right, I can't

656
00:44:30.039 --> 00:44:34.199
handle it, right, So we're
all working through our shit. Man in

657
00:44:34.239 --> 00:44:37.800
different ways and affects us in different
ways. So that thing that happened when

658
00:44:37.840 --> 00:44:40.719
I was a kid still affects me
to this day. Yeah, it affects

659
00:44:40.719 --> 00:44:45.079
your behavior, It affects how you
take things in. You know, it

660
00:44:45.159 --> 00:44:49.480
hurts your feelings in a way that
I don't that I don't understand until you

661
00:44:49.480 --> 00:44:52.880
sort of understood it and explained it
to me. It's not even as simple

662
00:44:52.880 --> 00:44:54.920
as it hurts my feelings, it
sends me into a panic. Well yeah,

663
00:44:54.920 --> 00:44:59.239
but a lot of it was being
abandoned. Yeah, sure you felt

664
00:44:59.280 --> 00:45:01.800
abandoned. And when when we talked
all that through and you were like,

665
00:45:01.960 --> 00:45:07.760
I feel abandoned if you ditch me
for something else. Yeah, like if

666
00:45:07.760 --> 00:45:10.480
you're I feel and you know,
we process that and I realized, fuck,

667
00:45:10.559 --> 00:45:14.199
I don't. I know, I'm
not abandoning you. But your feelings

668
00:45:14.199 --> 00:45:16.599
are legit, they're real, they
come from trauma. Like, I'm not

669
00:45:16.639 --> 00:45:20.400
going to argue that shit. Well
right, yeah, there's no point in

670
00:45:20.440 --> 00:45:22.159
doing that. We have right,
your experience as yours and mine is mine.

671
00:45:22.199 --> 00:45:27.320
There's there's no right or wrong.
Absolutely right, yeah, absolutely,

672
00:45:27.480 --> 00:45:30.519
I know this stuff's complicated. Is
this how we really want to wrap up

673
00:45:30.519 --> 00:45:37.480
our Christmas holiday episode? Christmas?
You don't celebrate Christmas? Happy holidays to

674
00:45:37.639 --> 00:45:43.280
you. Actually, let me throw
one more thing in there to stop this

675
00:45:43.320 --> 00:45:46.599
section of the Christmas holiday, because
there's a lot more about sacrament, meeting

676
00:45:46.639 --> 00:45:50.360
with my parents, and I mean
there's a lot in there, just jammed

677
00:45:50.360 --> 00:45:54.320
into three days. One thing that
I was able to enjoy Christmas related is.

678
00:45:54.880 --> 00:45:58.159
And I've said this before, I
missed the Christmas songs, whether they're

679
00:45:58.159 --> 00:46:00.280
bullshit or not, I just kind
of miss appropriate Christmas songs. Do you

680
00:46:00.280 --> 00:46:04.280
miss those? Sure? No,
because they were still played it. It

681
00:46:04.360 --> 00:46:07.519
was like the Jesus Christmas ship that
I had to let go of is it

682
00:46:07.599 --> 00:46:12.239
was like fuck that lie. Well, now that my boy David Archie Letta

683
00:46:12.840 --> 00:46:15.440
has left the church and has come
out of the closet as a full blown

684
00:46:15.519 --> 00:46:22.079
gay, I listened to his Christmas
music and I loved it. Somehow,

685
00:46:22.119 --> 00:46:24.960
I didn't feel like I was being
coerced. Does that make sense? It

686
00:46:24.960 --> 00:46:30.440
does, Okay. I wonder if
he would release an album like that now

687
00:46:30.480 --> 00:46:32.000
though, because he didn't you release
that album when he was still in the

688
00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:36.599
Mormon Church. Probably there's a recent
one. Yeah, yeah, I don't

689
00:46:36.599 --> 00:46:38.719
know. I'm not saying that that
matters, but I'm just wondering if he

690
00:46:38.719 --> 00:46:42.679
would release something like that now.
I don't know. For some reason,

691
00:46:42.760 --> 00:46:45.800
I appreciated that he's now gay and
left the church and I could listen to

692
00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:47.800
the Christmas ship. Well, the
Christmas songs are pretty like oh Holy night,

693
00:46:47.800 --> 00:46:52.840
it's a beautiful song. But I
just don't buy it. I'm sorry

694
00:46:52.960 --> 00:46:58.360
where he's like, I'm not about
it. It's a pretty song. Let's

695
00:46:58.440 --> 00:47:01.079
change. I'm sorry. I think
it's all fake. Yeah, sorry,

696
00:47:01.159 --> 00:47:06.159
can't can't get behind that. Wow? Okay, but happy holidays? Yeah

697
00:47:06.239 --> 00:47:08.800
and all? Yes, we really
know how to bring the Christmas cheer,

698
00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:14.719
don't it was excited for Christmas?
Nah? We fucking crushed this episode?

699
00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:17.880
Yeh? Did we? If you're
killing sad? I just want to sleep

700
00:47:17.960 --> 00:47:21.960
through to the new year. We
don't blame you are bad. Maybe we

701
00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:25.760
want to do that too, I
actually we do. Fuck? I know.

702
00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:30.519
Well, maybe it'll be better after
we do some patron names. Oh

703
00:47:30.599 --> 00:47:35.639
yeah, we should name them after
inappropriate Christmas songs. Perfect, Okay,

704
00:47:35.719 --> 00:47:44.400
let's take a break and do that. When get back sounds good. Did

705
00:47:44.440 --> 00:47:47.280
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706
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707
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716
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717
00:48:45.199 --> 00:48:52.599
holidays. We are back for some
patrons. Before we jump into patron names,

718
00:48:52.639 --> 00:48:57.719
just a little reminder about the Christmas
letter, which will not be delivered

719
00:48:57.719 --> 00:49:00.760
in time for Christmas but never really
might be your thing. It's written,

720
00:49:01.360 --> 00:49:05.840
we gotta do all the things.
We gotta print out some sort of card

721
00:49:05.880 --> 00:49:07.719
thing that you want to sneak over
to my ex's and print out the paper.

722
00:49:07.760 --> 00:49:09.719
Oh yeah, in a picture.
We're trying to get a picture lined

723
00:49:09.800 --> 00:49:13.400
up too, so sure, yeah, yeah, I don't know all that's

724
00:49:13.400 --> 00:49:16.119
involved out What do you think this
episode will come out probably in the next

725
00:49:16.159 --> 00:49:21.840
couple of weeks before Christmas, right
before Christmas. So let's say anyone who

726
00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:29.760
joins by December thirty first atay five
dollars level Patreon or supercast, you will

727
00:49:30.320 --> 00:49:35.639
get a Christmas letter. And can
I just say this letter is three pages

728
00:49:35.960 --> 00:49:40.320
front and back. Whoa Shelly gosh, do you have carpal tunnel? All

729
00:49:40.360 --> 00:49:43.840
right? You all right? A
little bit? You might kissed them later,

730
00:49:44.159 --> 00:49:47.320
Okay, one at a time,
one at a time. So yeah,

731
00:49:47.320 --> 00:49:52.559
it's a good one. And you
remembered that our other listening platform is

732
00:49:52.639 --> 00:49:58.000
super Cast. I'm so proud of
you. Christmas Mirrica, squad Cast,

733
00:49:58.800 --> 00:50:00.800
super Cast a Christmas miracle. Thank
you, baby Jesus. If you are

734
00:50:00.840 --> 00:50:07.199
interested in getting of three pages front
and back Christmas letter from Shelley and whatever

735
00:50:07.239 --> 00:50:09.280
else we're throwing in them, stick
whatever we can, whatever we can find,

736
00:50:09.719 --> 00:50:14.920
throw in their dog hare I like
it. You can join us at

737
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:19.079
latter day lesbian dot org slash support
that's the one, yeah, and join

738
00:50:19.159 --> 00:50:22.480
us at the five dollars in above
level to get your Christmas letter. Okay,

739
00:50:22.679 --> 00:50:25.440
first, Patron, I've got the
list here this week, I want

740
00:50:25.440 --> 00:50:29.000
to say him, oh, you're
gonna say, wrote them down. Oh,

741
00:50:29.000 --> 00:50:34.119
okay, okay. First patron is
Becky b B. I want to

742
00:50:34.159 --> 00:50:38.119
do this one. Okay, balls, duh, Christmas balls, Chrismus balls,

743
00:50:38.199 --> 00:50:45.639
Becky balls, Becky balls. You're
welcome to the walls the balls with

744
00:50:45.760 --> 00:50:51.559
Becky's balls. Speaking of balls,
next one is Rachel h. What does

745
00:50:51.559 --> 00:50:58.599
that have to do with balls?
Hung? Oh Jesus, these are appropriate

746
00:50:58.679 --> 00:51:02.599
Christmas songs. Well they are Rachel
Hung. They are now Becky's balls,

747
00:51:02.599 --> 00:51:07.519
and Rachel is hung. Thank you. Well, I'll take the next one.

748
00:51:07.679 --> 00:51:12.519
Okay. Jody I and a funny
story about Jody. We have been

749
00:51:12.639 --> 00:51:15.519
friends for I think twenty seven plus
years. Actually that was the last time

750
00:51:15.519 --> 00:51:17.920
we saw each other. It's probably
about I don't know, over thirty years.

751
00:51:17.920 --> 00:51:22.159
I'm guessing we've known each other.
We've lost touch off and on,

752
00:51:22.280 --> 00:51:25.320
but we are back in touch.
In fact, she and her husband just

753
00:51:25.639 --> 00:51:30.039
came for a visit. Shout out
to Jody and Steve. Jody and Steve,

754
00:51:30.079 --> 00:51:32.039
sorry I couldn't make the visit.
Thanks for picking up the tab at

755
00:51:32.079 --> 00:51:36.079
the ship. I wish I would
have made the right I know. There

756
00:51:36.159 --> 00:51:38.840
was such a lovely surprise there at
the end anyway, we gotta give Jody

757
00:51:39.079 --> 00:51:43.199
a new name. And because it's
inappropriate, I don't know. Maybe the

758
00:51:43.239 --> 00:51:46.320
I can stand for Eglu because that's
did you say Eglu? What did I

759
00:51:46.719 --> 00:51:50.039
did? I say it wrong?
You said Eglu? It's an Igloo.

760
00:51:50.320 --> 00:51:53.760
I'm pretty sure they have eglus and
Zion. Oh my god, I am

761
00:51:53.760 --> 00:52:00.320
pretty sure. No one, no
listener here says eglu. All say the

762
00:52:00.440 --> 00:52:04.159
sentences lived in igloos say it.
I'm not saying, just say. I

763
00:52:04.239 --> 00:52:06.960
want to say. You say it's
terrible. I know it is, but

764
00:52:07.039 --> 00:52:12.320
we're going after the stupid song god
Igloo coolers. Doesn't the Igloo company make

765
00:52:12.440 --> 00:52:15.360
well? Now you're saying igl you
were saying Eagle, I say something between

766
00:52:15.400 --> 00:52:20.000
Igloo and I can't even say it
now, Jody Igloo, thank you?

767
00:52:20.079 --> 00:52:28.800
Sorry about pronunciation for your name.
Oh my god, who's next? Chris

768
00:52:28.920 --> 00:52:34.360
Chris w w Wastle? I can
do better than that? What white,

769
00:52:34.519 --> 00:52:37.119
White and delights some Christmas? Yes, I'm dreaming of a white and delights

770
00:52:37.119 --> 00:52:42.199
some Christmas. Yes, Chris white
and delights some Christmas. That you're dreaming,

771
00:52:42.400 --> 00:52:45.960
Chris, Christmas, it's even better, Chris White delights some Christmas.

772
00:52:46.480 --> 00:52:50.039
Thank you for your patronage. That's
long. That's too long to get on

773
00:52:50.039 --> 00:52:53.840
a license fast for It might take
two or three lines, but it might.

774
00:52:54.679 --> 00:53:00.440
Okay, who's the last patriots?
Lastly, Emily are are? And

775
00:53:00.639 --> 00:53:04.360
you know if you have not heard
your name yet, we're back in June.

776
00:53:04.440 --> 00:53:07.639
Kids, We're we're backloged. I
don't know. Shelley likes to dull

777
00:53:07.719 --> 00:53:09.159
them out in these tiny little amounts. I said, we could do more

778
00:53:09.159 --> 00:53:13.599
of the problem as you're like,
I can't think of enough Christmas names.

779
00:53:13.599 --> 00:53:15.480
Oh it's my problem. Yes,
I would do them all right now with

780
00:53:15.559 --> 00:53:20.000
Christmas names? Boom boom boom.
Okay, do you have one for Emily

781
00:53:20.159 --> 00:53:25.280
R? Reindeer? Enough? Appropriate? Just was the first thing that came

782
00:53:25.320 --> 00:53:30.119
to my head. It's not word
association, okay, Emily, Oh Rufy?

783
00:53:30.440 --> 00:53:35.199
Like, what's in this drink?
Say? What's in this drink?

784
00:53:35.800 --> 00:53:38.960
Rufi? Brought to you by Emily
Rufy. Emily Rufy. Oh my god,

785
00:53:38.960 --> 00:53:43.039
that's kind of horrible and funny and
horrible. Sorry, it's like two

786
00:53:43.079 --> 00:53:46.880
horribles and one funny all at once. Oh my god, what a fucked

787
00:53:46.960 --> 00:53:51.440
up song. And sorry Emily Rufy, But thank you, thank you for

788
00:53:51.480 --> 00:53:55.280
your support. Thank you everybody for
your support. We really really appreciate it.

789
00:53:55.360 --> 00:53:58.440
One day we're going to get through
that list. Gosh darn it.

790
00:53:58.599 --> 00:54:04.079
You know it's funny because some people
will drop off Patreon for various reasons and

791
00:54:04.119 --> 00:54:07.480
then come back six months or a
year later what have you, and we

792
00:54:07.519 --> 00:54:09.360
read them again and give them a
new name. Is that fair? People

793
00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:13.679
trying to collect new names? Is
that what's happening? We need to keep

794
00:54:13.679 --> 00:54:16.119
a record. I know I'm terrible
at record. Record in Heaven. Keep

795
00:54:16.159 --> 00:54:28.840
the record of who's been in a
record? Ven your name? Okay,

796
00:54:28.840 --> 00:54:30.719
here's the problem is I don't know
the exact name of it. Just go

797
00:54:30.800 --> 00:54:35.559
with record in Heaven? Whatever record? Did we keep the music already?

798
00:54:35.719 --> 00:54:37.960
Yeah? Okay, Um the fuck? That Mormon phrase of the day today

799
00:54:38.239 --> 00:54:45.719
is record in Heaven or Heaven's record, Heavenly record, heavenly record. Now

800
00:54:45.800 --> 00:54:51.239
record sounds really weird time the more
you say it, what do you think?

801
00:54:51.559 --> 00:54:57.440
Uh? Well, is it like
if you become baptized here on this

802
00:54:57.519 --> 00:55:00.039
planet, you are now entered,
Like maybe you're name is entered into some

803
00:55:00.079 --> 00:55:04.199
sort of book, like Heavenly book. Fine, she got it right.

804
00:55:04.440 --> 00:55:10.800
That ding ding ding ding ding ding
ding ding ding. Yes, well it

805
00:55:10.880 --> 00:55:15.360
makes sense. But there's also the
part of that where if you and I

806
00:55:15.360 --> 00:55:19.599
don't know if this is actually taught. It was taught to me that if

807
00:55:19.639 --> 00:55:23.519
you leave your church and have your
records removed, they like your name is

808
00:55:23.559 --> 00:55:29.079
blotted out, expunged, no blotted. The word was blotted. Oh from

809
00:55:29.119 --> 00:55:30.599
the heavenly record book. Yeah.
Did any else hear this, grown up

810
00:55:30.639 --> 00:55:32.960
Mormon? Or is it? I'm
sure it's not just me? Who else?

811
00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:35.920
What else have you guys heard about? Maybe that's why they need a

812
00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:37.960
lawyer to remove your name here on
earth, because I don't know how we're

813
00:55:37.960 --> 00:55:42.400
gonna get to heaven and block that
shit. That's right. They send More's

814
00:55:42.440 --> 00:55:46.000
code up there. Yeah, or
facts, because facts they're really behind the

815
00:55:46.079 --> 00:55:52.079
times. The Mormons. Oh,
I just paused and looked up Record in

816
00:55:52.159 --> 00:55:57.480
Heaven LDS. It says when a
person has a testimony of the Gospel and

817
00:55:57.559 --> 00:56:01.960
bears witness to others, that test
teimony is recorded in heaven and the angels

818
00:56:02.039 --> 00:56:08.000
rejoice. That sounds so fucking dumb, And then let's talk about how boring

819
00:56:08.079 --> 00:56:13.440
acid is to be an angel.
It's like you're sitting through eternal fast and

820
00:56:13.480 --> 00:56:20.280
testimony meetings. Well. Also,
I still am flummixed old person by the

821
00:56:20.320 --> 00:56:24.360
fact that angels were humans according to
Mormons. Of course there were angel or

822
00:56:24.440 --> 00:56:28.679
humans who never got married or sealed
to anyone. Now they're just angels.

823
00:56:29.000 --> 00:56:30.840
Oh my god. They have to
come up with reasons for again. It's

824
00:56:30.880 --> 00:56:34.679
like, well, then, okay, then that seems like a better,

825
00:56:34.840 --> 00:56:38.480
more exalted thing to be than a
human. No, sure, So why

826
00:56:38.840 --> 00:56:42.400
there was angel Morona? I was
he married? I don't fucking know.

827
00:56:42.639 --> 00:56:45.840
Like again, we're arguing about fake
shit. M hm, yes we are

828
00:56:46.159 --> 00:56:53.039
whatever, and on that we're gonna
wish you a merry fucking fake christ Man.

829
00:56:53.119 --> 00:56:55.880
Just kidding. That was a weird
episode. It was a little weird

830
00:56:55.960 --> 00:57:00.639
kind of meandered it did. I
mean, don't they all guess Christmas is

831
00:57:00.679 --> 00:57:06.800
based on the birth of a savior
and I don't believe that's true. So

832
00:57:07.199 --> 00:57:12.199
does that make it marry fake miss
Mary? Fake mess? Oh wait,

833
00:57:12.440 --> 00:57:15.639
we're really bringing people up. Sorry
if we brought you down too much in

834
00:57:15.679 --> 00:57:20.639
this episode, everybody. I had
a good time though. If you're feeling

835
00:57:20.719 --> 00:57:24.000
down, you just sing those inappropriate
Christmas songs and cheer yourself right the fuck

836
00:57:24.039 --> 00:57:30.559
back up? Yeah, what was
that one. It's the most wonderful time

837
00:57:30.679 --> 00:57:34.760
of the year. Don't be depressed. See yeah, the funk out of

838
00:57:34.760 --> 00:57:37.840
bed. It's the most wonderful time
of the Year's right, It got nothing

839
00:57:37.840 --> 00:57:40.320
to be sad about. It's right. Plow yourself up by your damn Christmas

840
00:57:40.400 --> 00:57:45.519
bootstraps. Santa's boots. Wait,
what were those boots? Boots are made

841
00:57:45.559 --> 00:57:49.119
for walking? No, the boots
that little boys get for Christmas. Oh,

842
00:57:49.199 --> 00:57:52.079
hop along, hop along boots.
Plow yourself up by your hop along

843
00:57:52.239 --> 00:58:00.639
bootstraps. And now we have come
full circle. We really have Thank Dan

844
00:58:00.239 --> 00:58:05.199
from Extension Audio. Thanks for leaving
it in Dan for another whole year.

845
00:58:05.360 --> 00:58:09.000
We really appreciate you, and we
appreciate all of you listening. Thank you

846
00:58:09.039 --> 00:58:14.000
so much. Happy New Year,
Mary, Holidays, all that stuff.

847
00:58:14.039 --> 00:58:17.119
Happy New Year to everyone listening.
We'll talk to you in twenty twenty three.

848
00:58:17.239 --> 00:58:21.880
Wait, why still? Oh?
I have to stare clear of cults

849
00:58:21.920 --> 00:58:24.639
because they're no joke, no joke
at all, even in twenty twenty three.

850
00:58:24.960 --> 00:58:29.239
Yeah, I'm gonna start the new
year right, all right, everybody,

851
00:58:29.320 --> 00:58:30.679
talk to you later. Bye.