WEBVTT

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
and welcome to the final week of the

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twenty sixteen Miscrypti Contest. It's time
to oggle the boggles, stare at the

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scare cats, and give the stink
eye to skunk Gapes. Three more marvelous

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misses are coming your way in this
the final week of the contest, and

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it will be up to you to
decide did we save the best for last?

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Oh? Who will claw, scrape
and laceerate their way to the top

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of the bone pile. We scoured
a globe at the library for the countries

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that were listed as where these came
from, because we didn't know where they

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were from. In three spins,
we came up with two countries, and

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this week we'll be traveling from the
hills of rural Maryland to the shores of

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East Africa to the mountains of rural
Washington. Week three brings you creatures with

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names that range from ancient folklore to
names barely made up on the spot.

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This week, Blurry Photos brings you
the Agagway of East Africa, the Snelley

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gaster of the background shots from the
Wire and from the opening credits of Twin

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Peaks, The Crazy crater of bald
Mountain wash to talons for glowing skin.

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This week has it all, folks. It'll leave you pleasantly surprised and possibly

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without eyes. So buckle in and
remain calmed as we bring you Week three

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of the twenty sixteen Miss Cryptic Contest. Hello everybody, I am David Flora

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and I am Dave Stecco. Welcome
to the third week of the twenty sixteen

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Miss Crypted Contest. How many times
can we say it? Third and final?

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Week A final? I feel like
we just started. It does seem

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fast. Of course, we've recorded
time dilation man, Get you, get

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you every time, Get you.
But Butts, Harry Butts. We will

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be finding out who was the winner
of week two and who will be joining

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the owl Man in the finals of
the Miscrypted Contest. Can't wait for your

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prediction because I think, yeah,
lets weeks some pretty cads sink any lower.

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Like I said, a pretty good
year so far. A lot of

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level playing contestants, I think,
which means high. The level was high,

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but everybody was extremely competitive. It
is very competitive now that now that

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you know we've we've established a foothold
in the market. A lot of lucrative

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endorsements coming off this the market's kind
of getting saturated. We jumped the shark,

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No, not yet, Well,
we're working on it next year.

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The Jumping Shark of Catalina Island to
the So we just have one week where

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it's all once we make up.
So the boot the Boone cuntdyeh, the

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jumping Shark of Catalina. There.
I was really pushing to have the Boone

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County Wood snoop in the competition this
year, but there were so many real

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competitors that were awesome that maybe next
year. Maybe next year. Well,

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also he's sniffed of this one.
Yeah, and he's also I mean he

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he may or not be may or
may not be eligible. There is apparently

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some sort of pending litigation regarding a
misdemeter beer theft. Yeah, it's a

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little bit of trouble with the law
that Misdemeanah. Yeah uh. This week,

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we've got a got some good ones
to end it on. Yeah,

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going out with a bang, a
big barring. Why don't we why don't

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we jump in get started to hear
this? How about how about we talk

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about the crazy critter of Bald Mountain
Water du dun dun dunt dun dun dundun.

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Wow, we really broke that down. I love the song. That's

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teamwork, brother, that was great. Hope, hope everybody is still listening.

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You know what. I was so
much fun. I don't give a

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funk if you didn't like it.
Whoa wait a minute, wait a minute,

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Yeah, I get some coke snort
in there, crazy critter, Bald

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Mountain, Washington, Um. And
this is an alien sighting that took place

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on the evening of November seventeenth,
nineteen seventy four, on Bald Mountain,

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Washington, situated approximately twenty miles east
of Cheehllis. Is that how you say

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that? I did not look up
the looks right now, you know,

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not for nothing? Ten months before
I was born. Eyebrows, eyebrows.

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He did know that song off the
top of his head, three nights earlier.

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And I loved this, love the
song, love the phantasia verse,

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yea, love it all man,
Sorry, three nights earlier, not only

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about five miles away. A UFO
of the unidentified fire object kind. Wait,

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a UFO of the unidentified fiery object
kind? You know that kind?

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Yeah, well, when you classify
them, yeah, fiery object. Well

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it was. It was of the
fire tribe. It could have been air

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earth. That was the day it
attacked, So bullshit avatar. I've never

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even seen any avatar. I just
was trying to get I'm trying to get

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cool with the kids. It plummeted
to Earth, but it had attracted little

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publicity until Seattle grocer Ernest Smith saw
the Grazy Critter. Smith described it as

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crazy. Not a word of it
a lie. He described it as horse

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sized, covered with scales, and
standing on four rubbery legs with suckers like

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octopus tentacles. Its head was football
shaped with an antenna sticking up. The

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thing gave off this green iridescent light. That is a hell of a description.

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Yes it is. That guy checked
off every box. I mean he

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made up boxes to check. Like
you hear, oh it's humanoid, or

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oh it had wings or glowing red
eyes. No, man, this thing's

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like a one of those things that
you you put in the bathtub and let

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it dissolve and then there's like a
thing that grows out of it, you

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know, like I don't. That's
what's one of them things. That was

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a very specific reference. Sorry,
sorry, man, I think that like,

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you know, this is the kind
of thing that where you just give

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like a toddler some crayons and then
they draw something, and then you send

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it off to the company that makes
a stuffed animal of it. Sure,

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this is what you get back.
That's this would actually be a fun stuffed

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animal. Yeah. I love the
picture of it that I've put on the

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website. I love it. I
love it. Now good news, Flora,

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I love good news. The glow
was also seen by mister and missus

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rob Mister and missus Roger Ram's ba
from Tacoma as they were driving by in

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a Tacoma when they were when they
went closer to investigate, they were better,

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better than the Honda Yakima. She's
sorry, I'm doing us no favorite

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Toyota Olympia put this one in the
timeline of the Gauntlet recording day. Oh

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yeah, all right, go ahead, all right, it's known as the

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Gauntlet. I love it. Uh, it makes us happy. When they

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went closer to investigate, they were
confronted with the same weird wonder spit on

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my tablet. That's how hard I
was just singing, complete with antenna and

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suckered legs. Smith had seen earlier. Such reports as these soon attracted the

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attention to the local authorities, really
headed by Lewis County Sheriff William Wister,

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with some accounts mister Wister. Yeah, well everyone called mister Wister. Everyone

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in Lewis County apparently has to have
a literal illiterative names. Yeah, exactly.

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Ernest Smith was driven out of town
shortly after ye he went to Seattle,

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just passing through. Some accounts claim
that he was instructed by Air Force

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and NASA officials not to continue his
investigations, and his own team of county

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officials by people that they referred to
as Laura. A special NASA team including

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a heavily armed military unit, wearing
uniforms with no insignia. That's just ridiculous.

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Everybody knows what a Stargate mission uniform
patch looks like. They all wear

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them. Yes, just because you
can't figure it out doesn't mean they're not

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wearing Yeah, dude, dude,
dude, But I wish you guys could

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see, like there's like intense eye
contact and we know it's back on.

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So so what do you think,
Flaura? I mean, I have never

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heard of an alien sighting like this. Yeah, this came straight out of

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crazy Town, and I love it. This is um. It sounds like

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just an egg of some spice creature, probably from Venus, just crashed into

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the earth and then this thing popped
out of it. Like how this this?

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How? How is something like this
like an intelligent life form that's traveling

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the cosmos? You know what I
mean? I mean it's there's no reason

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it couldn't be. There's lots of
reasons. But suckers, Yeah, Like

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is they're helpful, helpful for control
panels. Maybe it's telepathic. I don't

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know. Well, I mean here's
the thing. I mean, you know,

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given it it's it's it's due.
Um. You know, our fingers

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aren't the way they are so that
we could work control panels. We make

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control panels to work the way our
fingers are. So maybe in the side

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of the ship they've got all these
sucker controls. The sucker action, Yeah,

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you gotta suck on them just right. I think there's a lot of

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sucker action in this story. If
I could take that Lewis County. This

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reminds me of one of those classic
scenarios where somebody's just like eating some sushi.

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They they trip and fall in a
mud mud pile. They get up,

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but it turns out it's not mud, it's tar. They trip in

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somebody's backyard, end up with a
football on their head. They fall through

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a window. There's the TV antenna
on their head. Then they spill some

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like local nuclear goose and then they're
just like, oh, other day,

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this couldn't get any worse. Trip, you know, class, this is

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this is some tool who's just having
a bad day. Yeah, sorry,

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guys, Sorry, We've explained it
as clearly as can be. It seems

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like I always assume a critter to
be small. This thing did not seem

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small. It's horse sized. Yeah, that's that's a that's a creech.

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Critters are small. You can fit
a critter in a bucket. Yeah,

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critters can get in under your porch. Yeah. If you can't fit it

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in a bucket, that's not a
critter. No, it's a creature.

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That's the crazy critter of Bald Mountain. Dun dundagagway is a small, furry

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human like biped reportedly living in the
remote forests of eastern Afka. It's covered

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in reddish brown fur. Agagways stand
three to five feet tall and They are

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reported to have small feet and opposable
toes. Thegaguay is different from the other

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known ape in the area not only
because of fur and skin color, but

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also because they're reported to have small, canine teeth and a rounded forehead.

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They go by a many other names
as well, Cocoon, Dochri or Kilomba

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and Zimbabwe and the Congo. The
people of Ivory Coast refer to them as

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the Sehte or shit or ken Height. In Sumatra, they're known as the

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Orang pindeck. We've heard of that
before. Oh yeah, oh, this

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is the same thing as the Orang
pendeck. Will it seems to be maybe,

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yeah, Oh, that's fascinating all
right. The first recorded sighting of

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the Agaguay by a non African native
was documented in nineteen thirty seven by Captain

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William Hichens in the December edition of
the London magazine Discovery. Describing his nineteen

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hundred a counter with the Agaguay,
Captain Hichens wrote, thank thank you Jesus

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for this quote. Some years ago
I was sent with an official lion Hunchindish

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area to which he was referring to
the Usuran Simbid forests on the western side

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of the Wembar planes. Quite while
waiting a false glade from man Eat,

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I saw two brown furry creatures,
yes, come from the dense forest on

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one side of the glade, and
then disappear quite suddenly into the thicket on

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the other side, which was most
irregular. Quite quite. They were like

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little men about forty time, walking
somewhat upright, Yes, and clad in

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rosset boy bullet. The native hunter
with me engaged in him a mingled fear

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and amazement. Yes they were,
he said, Oh, gogway, rather

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strange word. Yes, the little
ferryman, whom one does not see once

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in a lifetime. Support of Captain
Hitchen's story, British officer Cuthbert Bourgoyne wrote,

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no, not one of ours.
No. Wrote a letter to Discovery

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Magazine in nineteen thirty eight recounting his
personal sighting of something similar in nineteen twenty

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seven, while traveling Portuguese East Africa
board a Japanese cargo boat. Burgoyne wrote,

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we was sufficiently near to land to
see objects clearly with a glass of

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twelve magnifications. Oh, there was
a sloping beach with a light bush upon

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which several dozen baboons were hunting and
for picking up shellfish of crabs. To

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judge by their movements, achish two
pure white baboons were among them. These

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are very rare, but I had
heard of them previously. As we watched

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the little two little brown men walked
together out of the bush and down among

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the baboons. Jeez, this is
a long quote. All right, that's

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enough of the the one and done, Cuthbert burgoing voice, Sorry if that

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went on. There's a there's a
point at which even I can no longer

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even lave. Yeah, they were
certainly not any known monkey, and they

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must have been akin to or they
would have been disturbed by the baboons they

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were. They were too far away
to see in detail or what happened to

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the twelve magnifications. But these small
humans, yeah, exactly. But these

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small humanlike animals were probably between four
and five feet tall, quite upright and

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graceful in figure. At the time, I was thrilled, as they quite

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obviously were no beast of which I
had heard or read. Later, a

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friend in big game hunter told me
he was in Portuguese data East Africa with

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his wife and three of other hunters
and saw a mother, father and child

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of apparently similar animal species walk across
the further side of a bush, clearing

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the natives loudly forbade him to shoot
no I glaven all with the hunting in

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the found them. It was suggested
by crypto as welogist Bernard Humans that the

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Agaguay could be a surviving species of
austral Epithecine, a bipedal primate known to

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have existed approximately two and a half
million years ago. The description of the

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Agaguay does fit the known features of
the australepithe scene, with the exception of

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austro Epithistan's feet, which did have
somewhat diverged toe, but far from the

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reported opposable toe of the Agaguay.
However, over millions of years, it

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is conceivable that this toe may have
evolved to become opposable. I like that

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you got a little Bernie Sanders there, as though someone was just about to

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interrupt you. However, however,
had to do the point where should do

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now? Some theorize that the Agaguay
may also be an undiscovered species of protopigmy,

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a term used by Ivan T.
Sanderson to describe the unknown hairy little

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people of the world. So it
feels cringey proto pigmy right, and are

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there tons of unknown hairy little people, unknown hairy little people of the world

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unite. Yeah. This term is
still used today in the work of Mark

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Ye Hall, Patrick Boigny, Lauren
Coleman, and others while researching and documenting

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cases of smaller than normal hairy homitans. We might meet Lauren Coleman. He's

201
00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:04.000
coming to Milwaukee for the sweet then
he can tell me how to pronounce Patrick's

202
00:18:04.039 --> 00:18:07.200
last name. So, yeah,
Gogway. Huh, what do you think.

203
00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:11.599
I don't think that's I don't think
that's impossible. I think it's Africa

204
00:18:11.640 --> 00:18:15.759
is a big place. Yeah,
there's lots of sightings. Everyone seems to

205
00:18:15.799 --> 00:18:18.359
get it. And I think something
of that size could could. I think

206
00:18:18.359 --> 00:18:25.119
it that has a better chance of
staying hidden than a bigfoot than a squatch,

207
00:18:25.880 --> 00:18:30.799
just because of its size or because
of its location both sparsely populated place.

208
00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:34.200
There's tons of parts of Africa that
literally no one goes into. Sure,

209
00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:38.359
and they are they're small enough to
be good at hiding. They can

210
00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:41.640
make use of tall grass, you
know, stuff like that. Yeah,

211
00:18:41.200 --> 00:18:45.240
this is kind of a true cryptid. Yeah, I like it. I

212
00:18:45.599 --> 00:18:49.599
dig that in the fact that it
is a hidden, unknown animal that may

213
00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:52.839
or may not be out there.
Yeah. And between the Burgoyne's and the

214
00:18:52.920 --> 00:18:57.680
high Woman's, apparently you can only
study them if you have a ridiculous last

215
00:18:57.759 --> 00:19:04.960
name. Right, that's the Agagway
and our third and final elegant weirdo,

216
00:19:06.519 --> 00:19:17.119
the snelly Gaster. I feel like
that's that's like really old gangster uh gangster

217
00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:21.160
slang for like a gun. Oh
yeah, yeah, whip out that snelly

218
00:19:21.160 --> 00:19:26.119
Gasta and let's see who's doing the
real talking. And then everyone was like,

219
00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:29.759
the gun, right, I caused
the gun? What else is the

220
00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:32.480
thing? Nothing? Nothing, boss
nothing. I also feel like it could

221
00:19:32.519 --> 00:19:36.440
be the name of a villain that
ties a maiden to the train tracks.

222
00:19:36.519 --> 00:19:45.799
Oh yeah, what's your name?
A snivel snelly Gaston. Yeah. February

223
00:19:45.880 --> 00:19:49.880
nineteen o nine article from the Middletown
Valley Register, hard hitting news source in

224
00:19:51.119 --> 00:19:55.680
rural Maryland, claimed that a man
had been seized by a winged creature,

225
00:19:55.960 --> 00:20:00.319
which proceeded to sink its teeth into
his jugular, drained his body of blood,

226
00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:04.880
and casually drop it off a hillside
well, casually as it flew away.

227
00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:11.720
I could hear echoing into the chill
night. Whatever. The story set

228
00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:17.440
off a flurry of reports of sensational
encounters with a beast called the snally Gaster.

229
00:20:18.279 --> 00:20:22.960
Was Oid's taken? Snally Oid?
Yeah, it was taken. Somebody

230
00:20:22.039 --> 00:20:27.559
told me that, like in the
later h iterations of tremors, that the

231
00:20:27.559 --> 00:20:33.720
tremor creature could fly. They did
it all they they walked, they flew.

232
00:20:34.200 --> 00:20:38.440
Yeah, like they really went off
the rails. Old sci fi smh

233
00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:44.039
bro. The first alleged report of
the snally Gaster came from a man named

234
00:20:44.119 --> 00:20:48.759
James Harding, who saw the creature
flying low overhead. He described it as

235
00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:53.119
a huge winged monster with a long, sharp beak, claws like steel hooks,

236
00:20:53.119 --> 00:20:56.200
and having one eye in the middle
of its head. Was it a

237
00:20:56.240 --> 00:21:02.519
flying purple people eater? You know
it? The monster's screech he described as

238
00:21:02.599 --> 00:21:07.480
loud as a train whistle. It
was reported to have created quite a stir

239
00:21:07.640 --> 00:21:11.319
in New Jersey, where its footprints
were first discovered in the snow and then

240
00:21:11.559 --> 00:21:15.160
later probably retracted and changed to the
Jersey Devil. I was gonna say,

241
00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:18.599
well, how do you yeah,
this sells now? Now? I wonder

242
00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:22.920
if they're just renaming the Jersey Devil. The pine barrens aren't big enough for

243
00:21:22.960 --> 00:21:26.000
the both of them. Don't take
anything from Jersey, they have so little.

244
00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:29.640
It was also seen in West Virginia, where it almost caught a woman

245
00:21:29.720 --> 00:21:34.359
near Scrabble, roosted in Alex Crow's
barn, and laid an egg near Sharpsburg,

246
00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:38.519
where it was reported some men had
rigged up an incubator to try and

247
00:21:38.559 --> 00:21:41.079
hatch it. This whole thing should
be read in the twenties accent, but

248
00:21:41.160 --> 00:21:45.319
don't that's too much. TC.
Harbor of Castown, Ohio read a letter

249
00:21:45.319 --> 00:21:48.160
to the Valley Register in nineteen o
nine telling him a strange beast that flew

250
00:21:48.200 --> 00:21:55.720
over his area, making terrible screaking
noises. Stop Stop. Hardball described it

251
00:21:55.759 --> 00:21:59.920
as having two huge wings, a
large horny head, and a tail twenty

252
00:22:00.039 --> 00:22:02.880
feet long. He said it looked
as though it was headed this way.

253
00:22:03.119 --> 00:22:06.599
It's coming right for us. I
love that, Like he's talking to a

254
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:08.400
reporter. Yeah, I don't know. It had a big, big horn

255
00:22:08.519 --> 00:22:14.720
on its head. I think the
tail was like twenty feet long, and

256
00:22:14.799 --> 00:22:22.799
it's headed this. Get this to
print now. According to local newspapers and

257
00:22:22.920 --> 00:22:29.480
several enthusiastic eyewitnesses, the murderous monster
undertook a series of colorful adventures. What

258
00:22:29.599 --> 00:22:32.000
did it do, Dave, Well, First, it woke up in the

259
00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:33.799
morning, laid the egg the size
of a barrel, though, picked up

260
00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:37.920
a railway worker by a suspenders.
Oh no, and why it even took

261
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:41.720
some time to speak to a gentleman, mysteriously declaring my I'm dry. I

262
00:22:41.759 --> 00:22:45.079
haven't had a good drink since I
was killed in the battle at Chickamauga.

263
00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:51.279
Wow, it sounds like radio ad
kind it sounds like that crazy Okay.

264
00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:55.640
It was shot at near Hagerstown,
sighted south of Middletown at Lover's Leap,

265
00:22:55.920 --> 00:22:59.960
and seen flying over the mountains between
Gaplin and Burkettsville, where it was report

266
00:23:00.200 --> 00:23:04.279
to two have laid another egg.
I don't think the eggs you eggland.

267
00:23:04.440 --> 00:23:10.519
Motherfucker is big enough to hatch an
elephant. Apparently, sightings of the Snalli

268
00:23:10.599 --> 00:23:14.839
Gaster were creating such a commotion that
at one point it was reported that President

269
00:23:15.000 --> 00:23:18.680
Theodore Roosevelt might postpone a trip to
Europe so that he could lead an expedition

270
00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:22.519
to capture it. He might watch
out, Yeah, it might. You

271
00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:27.240
never know. Europe's calling, though
twenty three years passed before the snelly gaster

272
00:23:27.279 --> 00:23:32.160
appeared again in Frederick County. Is
that a skadoo? It was a twenty

273
00:23:32.200 --> 00:23:36.640
three year skadoo. He was skidooing
for the entirety of the time. Twenty

274
00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:40.839
three years time span a skadoo.
Yeah, that's right. First reports were

275
00:23:40.839 --> 00:23:47.079
received from just below South Mountain in
Washington County. Ba Bom bom, bom

276
00:23:47.279 --> 00:23:53.680
bomp needle scratch I. Witness accounts
claim that it flew toward them from the

277
00:23:53.720 --> 00:23:57.839
Middletown Valley. The beast was often
seen floating back and forth over the area

278
00:23:57.880 --> 00:24:02.839
and was described as being as large
as a dirigible, with arms resembling the

279
00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:11.599
tentacles of an octopus coming full circle. The news upon which President Teddy Roosevelt

280
00:24:11.160 --> 00:24:17.920
deployed a girl in an itsy bitsy
teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini. When

281
00:24:17.960 --> 00:24:22.200
that didn't work, they went to
see the witch doctor, who told them

282
00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:29.640
what to do. When asked what
the news was, they simply replied that

283
00:24:29.720 --> 00:24:40.119
the bird was the word novelty songs. They made alcohol from the huge vat

284
00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:47.279
of monster mash that withdrew a zing. Sorry all right. The creature appeared

285
00:24:47.319 --> 00:24:48.799
to be able to change its size, shape, and color. It will

286
00:24:49.240 --> 00:24:56.039
no although the creature made no attempt
to harmony the residence of the valley exanguination

287
00:24:56.119 --> 00:25:00.920
notwithstanding right, most people sought safety
of their sought the safety of their homes

288
00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:03.880
as it flew overhead. All descriptions
seemed to indicate that it was the snally

289
00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:07.480
Gaster, last reported in these parts
on March fifth, nineteen o nine.

290
00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:12.400
At the life expectancy of a snally
gaster is only about twenty years. Based

291
00:25:12.480 --> 00:25:18.000
on who the knows the most logical, Oh, thank you, yes,

292
00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:22.759
The most logical explanation seems to be
that the latest sighting was the offspring of

293
00:25:22.759 --> 00:25:26.519
the nineteen o nine creature, possibly
hatched from one of the eggs laid near

294
00:25:26.559 --> 00:25:33.880
Burkettsville or Hagerstown or Middletown at Lever's
Leap or the Battle of Chickamauga, or

295
00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:38.200
in the Battle or Brockway or Ogdenville. Yeah, it really put them on

296
00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:42.599
the map. Yeah, the snally
Gaster met his end in a way some

297
00:25:44.079 --> 00:25:49.640
might envy. Snoo Snoo. Well, the creature was flying near Frog Hollow

298
00:25:49.720 --> 00:25:55.400
and Washington County when it was attracted
by the aroma of a twenty five hundred

299
00:25:55.400 --> 00:26:00.960
gallon vat of moonshine. As the
beast flew overhead, it was overcome by

300
00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:06.640
the fumes and dropped into the boiling
mash. Coming. Yeah, you blew

301
00:26:06.640 --> 00:26:08.960
it too soon. It was giving
it to you. A short time later,

302
00:26:10.039 --> 00:26:15.759
revenue agents George Dansforth and Charles Kuschwis
arrived on the scene. They had

303
00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:18.599
received information about the still, but
were rather startled at the side of the

304
00:26:18.759 --> 00:26:25.839
dead monster in the mash. The
two agents exploded five hundred pounds of dynamite

305
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:30.960
under the steel, destroying the remains
of the snelly Gast, typical government and

306
00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:36.000
tons of hooch. The area was
settled by German immigrants beginning in the seventeen

307
00:26:36.119 --> 00:26:41.039
thirties. Early accounts described the community
being terrorized by a monster called a Schnellegeist,

308
00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:47.680
meaning quick ghost in German. Seven
pointed stars, which were mostly thrown

309
00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:52.200
by ninjas, but also repeatedly kept
the Snelly Gaster at bay and can still

310
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:59.039
be seen painted on local barns.
Has been suggested the legend was resurrected in

311
00:26:59.039 --> 00:27:03.960
the nineteenth century frightened freed slaves.
Some stories say the Snelly Gaster has one

312
00:27:03.000 --> 00:27:08.319
widely known enemy called the Duwayo.
The Dwio is reported to be a mammalian

313
00:27:08.400 --> 00:27:12.279
biped with features similar to a wolf, but the stance and stature of a

314
00:27:12.359 --> 00:27:17.960
human. It is widely assumed that
many details of the legend were fabrications of

315
00:27:18.000 --> 00:27:25.880
wily newspaper editors looking to sell more
papers. No, that was real and

316
00:27:26.039 --> 00:27:30.599
had an enemy and wonder if I
wonder if any of them found one of

317
00:27:30.599 --> 00:27:33.839
the snelly gaster eggs and cooked it
like in the movie Caveman. Oh my

318
00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:38.799
god, yeah, just giant slabs. I think it's one of one of

319
00:27:38.839 --> 00:27:44.279
the best parts of this is that
the German immigrants would go by the would

320
00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:51.119
call something schnellageist and it turned into
snelly gaster snellge What kind of guys?

321
00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:56.680
Nine guys, nine guys. Nay, yeah, So not much to think

322
00:27:56.680 --> 00:28:00.559
about this one, maybe yeah,
No, very fun, very fun,

323
00:28:00.559 --> 00:28:10.000
indeed very fake. That's the snelly
gas Well, there's one thing that is

324
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:22.319
as real as it gets from Ogdenville
to East Brunsmanshire. Puns, Yes,

325
00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:26.559
puns. Who's punning first? Pun? I'll pun, I'll take pun point.

326
00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:30.640
Well, you're taking point on the
pun point pun. Well, there

327
00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:33.559
was one one story that was reported
Flora. That is I mean, it's

328
00:28:33.559 --> 00:28:38.599
a cockinary tale more than anything.
It took place up in Washington, UM

329
00:28:38.599 --> 00:28:44.640
where a family, you know,
mom and dad had some plans for the

330
00:28:44.680 --> 00:28:48.039
weekend, so they're out of town. They got someone to watch their child

331
00:28:48.079 --> 00:28:52.480
the entire time. Then this,
uh, this babysitter that they caught they

332
00:28:52.559 --> 00:28:56.119
hired, decided to take the kid
out for a hike. Okay, and

333
00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:59.440
uh, this kid, you know, they're they're they're hiking through the woods

334
00:28:59.799 --> 00:29:03.440
and they finally they kind kind of
start to smell like sulfur in the air.

335
00:29:03.759 --> 00:29:04.799
She thought it was like a diaper
problem, but then she was like,

336
00:29:04.839 --> 00:29:07.519
oh, the kid's too old for
that. They realized, oh my

337
00:29:07.559 --> 00:29:12.200
gosh. They'd come across some hot
springs and the kid wanted to go down,

338
00:29:12.279 --> 00:29:15.839
and she was like, no,
stay there. The kids started going

339
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:19.559
anyway, but she was so tired
from hiking all over the place that she

340
00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:22.279
just sat on a rock and just
kept going, no, don't do it,

341
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:26.880
don't do it. And the kid
goes down there, and sure enough,

342
00:29:26.200 --> 00:29:30.359
water comes up out of the ground
burns all over the place. It's

343
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:37.079
the tragic tale of the lazy sitter
of skald Fountain'd just like to point out,

344
00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:41.880
like two minutes ago you, both
you and kin height would have been

345
00:29:41.880 --> 00:29:48.680
making snoring noises if I had been
listen. The worse the pun the better

346
00:29:48.759 --> 00:29:52.079
the setup, the longer you have
to set it up. It's about maximizing

347
00:29:52.119 --> 00:29:56.480
the suffering lazy sitter. Yep,
nice. Hey, if you're walking down

348
00:29:56.519 --> 00:29:59.400
the street in the city, you
might run across the scary site. What's

349
00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:02.839
that site? Oh? There are
many, but there's one dangerous creature that

350
00:30:02.960 --> 00:30:07.400
stalks the space between the buildings.
It's waiting to snatch you up and convert

351
00:30:07.480 --> 00:30:11.039
you or maybe get its religious claws. Oh no, be on the lookout

352
00:30:11.079 --> 00:30:21.759
for the alley pastor. And also
with you pots, that's pawns. That's

353
00:30:21.799 --> 00:30:25.519
about all the ado we can stand. Yeah, now we have to find

354
00:30:25.559 --> 00:30:29.559
out the winner of week two was
all right, Well, it's time.

355
00:30:29.640 --> 00:30:32.359
Most importantly, it's time for me
to guess, because I'm so good at

356
00:30:32.359 --> 00:30:34.440
this. Now here's my question.
Do I can stands of this? Do

357
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:40.000
I think? What do you think? And then do the opposite? Oh,

358
00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:44.000
tough call, tough call? Who
knows? Yeah? And now the

359
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:51.720
winner of Week two of the Miscrypted
Contest, Dave, This is between the

360
00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:57.960
a stomy yea from India, the
pig Man of Vermont, and the puck

361
00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:03.960
Quagie of New England. I am
going puck wag all day, then a

362
00:31:04.079 --> 00:31:10.400
Stoney then Pigman. M Uh,
what's your reasoning behind Puckage? My reason

363
00:31:10.440 --> 00:31:15.519
behind the Puckagi is a it's a
fun name, b uh. Were people

364
00:31:15.599 --> 00:31:22.519
are already really enjoying the idea of
a Dorchester Puckwagi's jersey. That's true,

365
00:31:23.519 --> 00:31:29.240
and it's just kind of a cool
little nasty ass. Yeah, looking like

366
00:31:29.279 --> 00:31:32.880
a little nasty ass. Who does
it? Like some nasty as Like a

367
00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:38.559
little nasty ass. All right,
all right, So the winner of Week

368
00:31:38.599 --> 00:31:45.960
two is going to be told to
each and every person individually by text message.

369
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:53.319
Should take us about two months.
The pug and I'm a winner.

370
00:31:55.000 --> 00:31:57.799
You got You got the other two
places wrong though, so you didn't fill

371
00:31:57.839 --> 00:32:02.960
out your your traffic. Well I
didn't perfectly counterbalance my Week one meltdown,

372
00:32:05.759 --> 00:32:09.400
but good job. Congratulations to the
Puckage. Yeah, we'll make sure to

373
00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:14.400
send send the Puckwagi an email.
We'll be seeing him in the finals with

374
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:20.880
the owl Man. Yes, if
the audio sounds a little different. Congratulations

375
00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:24.119
you've picked up on it. Dave
and I. Due to some scheduling things,

376
00:32:24.680 --> 00:32:29.759
we had to announce in different places. So I'm picking him up over

377
00:32:29.799 --> 00:32:34.200
Skype and we're in different places,
but we're putting audio in your faces.

378
00:32:34.519 --> 00:32:37.640
That is not a word of it
a lie. So don't forget to go

379
00:32:37.759 --> 00:32:42.319
vote for this week over at blurry
photos dot org. On the home page

380
00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:45.160
you can submit your vote. That'll
enter you if you'd like, into a

381
00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:51.599
drawing for a prize pack. Oh
Man and Flora just brought in a whole

382
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:58.200
slew of amazing prizes from his recent
trip to the Pacific Northwest, which which

383
00:32:58.279 --> 00:33:00.440
had a really great moment. He
was showing me everything and I thought that

384
00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:04.519
he had bought me presents, so
I was like, oh thanks, and

385
00:33:04.599 --> 00:33:07.400
start of putting him in my bag
and I was like, no, no,

386
00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:15.119
Man for the Miscrypted prize pack.
It was awesome and awkward. I

387
00:33:15.240 --> 00:33:19.079
even prefaced it by saying I even
said, hey, look what I got

388
00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:21.759
for the Miscrypted price pack and he's
like, oh, great, thanks,

389
00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:23.720
and I'm like, oh no,
now this is awkward. And I didn't

390
00:33:23.720 --> 00:33:28.440
even try to make it awkward.
All I hear was these are for you,

391
00:33:28.519 --> 00:33:34.319
because everything you do is art and
then I made him a sandwich.

392
00:33:35.759 --> 00:33:38.000
So yeah, whoever gets the price
pack is going to be really happy.

393
00:33:38.039 --> 00:33:45.680
There is a shot glass involved that
I am outright jealous of. It's true.

394
00:33:45.839 --> 00:33:50.359
It's true. And don't don't get
butt hurt that I didn't tell anybody

395
00:33:50.359 --> 00:33:53.279
that I was going to the Pacific
Northwest because it was a very short trip

396
00:33:53.319 --> 00:33:58.799
for very specific reasons and I had
no downtime to do anything. Too many

397
00:33:58.920 --> 00:34:02.519
enemies on the willambit. Well it
wasn't that part, so at least at

398
00:34:02.559 --> 00:34:07.280
least there's that if if I went
to Portland, I might keep a low

399
00:34:07.320 --> 00:34:12.960
profile though, just so I didn't
get shived for for my pronunciation skills.

400
00:34:13.039 --> 00:34:16.199
So anyway, Uh, go vote, Go, go do all the things

401
00:34:16.199 --> 00:34:20.599
that you know how to do to
follow us and like us and all that

402
00:34:20.639 --> 00:34:23.760
stuff. We appreciate that those things. That's important. It's your civic duty

403
00:34:23.800 --> 00:34:29.360
because you have to because you must. It's it's the law. But other

404
00:34:29.400 --> 00:34:35.360
than that, I hope you have
enjoyed this year's miscrypted contests so far,

405
00:34:35.519 --> 00:34:38.440
and but no more, no more
cryptids to hear about. That's true,

406
00:34:38.519 --> 00:34:43.960
that's true. You can still vote
for Week three, which will announce,

407
00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:47.719
and then finally one more round of
voting yep for the king Dingling. Have

408
00:34:47.880 --> 00:34:52.199
a have a good day week until
you find out everybody rock