WEBVTT

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The opinions expressed by Chayo Busquets are
supported by his extensive experience as a family

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therapist and in the previous analysis of
the cases presented here welcome. This is

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Chayo with you in jewel We start
very good afternoon to everyone how I am

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Chayo Busquets, This is Chayo with
you and notice that I will start with

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one with an email. As you
all know, we had the marijuana show

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on Monday and I got two comments. Interestingly, those two comments are from

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people who use marijuana a little indignant. Maybe I don' t know what

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the word they would use and I
want to be respectful of that, but

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the way we don' t do
justice to marijuana when we talk about it

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and I' m going to read
it one of the good emails. Nice

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to greet you. My name is
Fulanito such I am thirty- four years

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old. I' ve been a
journalist, producer, singer, actor,

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therapist, emotional and single dad and
marijuana consumption for ten years. I write

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this because to deal with a topic
as deep as the use of cannabis,

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it cannot be treated by referring to
myths and realities, since scientifically it is

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a substance that has countless benefits of
success in treatments of epilepsy, depression,

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anxiety cancer and could continue for hours. What depends on this, the use

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it is given, and the control
it takes to consume it. It is

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not about preaching their consumption. It
is a question of understanding that there are

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two types of consumers. The consumer
who is lost in consumption and the consumer

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who knows why, for what and
how he uses it. What they'

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re talking about in their program is
an attack on those we do consume.

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We have studied the plant, its
effects, reactions and consequences. And to

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talk about a subject, if you
should speak without judgment and without judgment,

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I think it' s poorly worded
there. He has to say with discretion,

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because if not, instead of removing
the doubts of an audience, they

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confuse them much more. And I
do speak this to you as chief of

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information, because I have been so
for several years, also for open television

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marijuana or marijuana. One wrote to
him with h and one with g because

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both ways of writing are correct.
Yes, it serves for anxiety using the

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doses indicated. I' m not
saying. I just give Google the right

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and conscious use to know. My
recommendation, as a radio listener, is

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that when you talk about these issues, you also include a person who is

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an expert on the subject so that
the pros and cons can really be seen.

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People deserve to know the good and
the bad, to know both positions

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and to let everyone draw their own
conclusions about it. Unsubstantiated judgment is synonymous

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with ignorance about a subject. I
hope you understand my mail good day,

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Of course, I answered this person
in writing, but then I thought it

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was worth commenting on the air with
the anonymity that we always handle with all

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the topics, just because first those
who usually write in this way. With

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regard to cannabis marijuana, they are
usually people who consume it Second, because

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the person who came to talk about
it on Monday is someone who is our

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constant collaborator and is more than twenty
years old, twenty- five years old.

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He' s an addiction specialist.
That' s what he does for

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lectures, he has his office and
so on, and he worked for many

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years in Montefénix, which is a
rehabilitation clinic for addictions. At no time

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and this strikes me there were trials
on the program, because we never prosecuted

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anyone. Even on many occasions I
make the clarification that I am not one,

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nor am I here as someone to
impose my values, nor my beliefs,

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nor anything to do with this.
And many times, even when we

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have come to talk about abortion,
for example, I have always clarified that

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I am not a spiritual advisor or
a caregiver of moral values, but I

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always speak from the psychological processes in
my profession. Why didn' t I

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talk about marijuana, because I always
bring specialists who have many years of experience

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and something that is true and that' s why I' m reading the

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mail so that you know what this
person considers not to be said is that,

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in fact, it was said that
it had effects, like many other

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drugs have drug effects. The point
is that for everything he says here that

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is used pharmacologically is true. Only
it' s the last resort. And

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if someone consumes it and consumes it
with proper medical management, it' s

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because that' s what it was
about to be done but for all of

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these that number and that, as
he rightly says, he could have listed

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for more than an hour. Of
course it is used, but with a

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medical recommendation and a medical check-
up, and not because someone became expert

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at studying this through the responsible use
of Google. Then yes, of course

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I do. It is used for
anxiety, it is used for epilepsy,

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it is used for many cases,
provided that other medicines that exist did not

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serve. Then it is used,
but there is a doctor who is carrying

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out that perfectly clear control with the
patient, not for self- medicated consumption.

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If self- medication does not work
for medicines, imagine if you are

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going to do something that is recommended
for this purpose. It' s just

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that I read this email so that
the person who wrote it, if he

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' s listening to us, knows
that we weren' t trying to hide

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any information about this. Hi,
chayo I' m talking to you.

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I' ve been checking my son' s cell phone for almost fourteen,

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and I say almost because he'
s turning them at the end of the

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year. What worries me is that
I have noticed you have a conversation with

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an anime, which I notice you
lie to get your attention. He tells

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her that, according to drugs,
she is lost and on a motorcycle,

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when, in fact, seeing the
messages and the time she wrote it at

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that time was at home. In
short, not only that, many things

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I see that invents her and the
girl gives her advice and obvious street in

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her lies, but that worries me
that my son does that and that it

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is to get the attention of the
girl, since she also writes that no

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one wants him who has no girlfriend
and only that girl. I clarify that

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he is a child with whom I
have communication and we talk about many topics

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and in fact, I talk to
him about topics that I have noticed that

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he wants to do what friends do
the dress and, well, everything that

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is related to adolescence, but this
specific one, I have not talked to

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him. I don' t want
to lose my confidence, as every time

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he changes his password to his cell
phone he tells me more, the contraction

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changes. And it is this I
hope you can attend to my mail,

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since doubt I am not able to
pull it out of my head look.

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I think, without a doubt,
a lot of what' s going on

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with your little one is just part
of the teen process. And here that

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doesn' t mean we don'
t have to do things about it.

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Because I always tell you, it' s part of the teen process.

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Oh, well, then let it
work, no, not of course not.

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What I want to first tell you
is that behavior can be very frequent

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in adolescence, as part of a
dislocation, as part of wanting to gain

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affection, attention, approval from the
girl, thus making herself the poor child

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not, and that the girl,
from there to the best in the life

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of the world, of friends,
has a little role that me, the

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one that advises, that recommends,
that she says that in the end and

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in that process, without any doubt, there is a question that I would

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have to ask you and it is
known that by giving her the cell phone

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and having to communicate the passwords,
is because the use of the cell phone

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is something that is monitored, because
I don' t know if I read

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between lines a little that you supervise
the cell phone in secret of your son

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and that is why you don'
t want to tell her that you heard

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about this. But the reality is
that one very important element of this age

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and that does not have to be
done in secret from the kids, is

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to tell them clearly, the cell
phone, as well as many of your

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activities are going to be supervised many
times then, in that accompanying process,

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clearly is hear within the supervision that
it is my obligation to do. Why

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I oversee how you order, your
closet oversaw that you comply with such rules.

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I oversee your grades, I oversee
your departures with friends, I oversee

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the kind of friendships you have.
Supervising your cell phone is one more activity

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doesn' t have to be excluded
from the educational process and then, from

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there I was able to read something
that, of course, jumped me and

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I would like to know a little
bit what the logic of this is.

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Even I wouldn' t tell her
why you' re lying, but it

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caught my attention that there are things
you write to this girl that don'

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t correspond to what I do.
I think it' s part of your

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life so that even by leaving the
conversation open, you can get to know

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it in a clear way and not
making it easier for him to tell.

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It' s not true that he
got you on motorcycles, it' s

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not true that you get high,
it' s not true that nobody loves

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you. Not the other way around, he kills two birds with one stone

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in the conversation. There are things
you tell her, which draw my attention

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and I' d like to know
what happens to see what she tells you

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best. That opens a channel to
say you know that sometimes if I don

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' t feel like they love me, or is that sometimes it or not,

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this is not true. The thing
is, I told her because she

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likes motorcycles. Anyway, I don' t know what' s going to

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answer you, but we have to
learn to have conversations with children that are

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open conversations and not conversations where I
facilitate you. That' s not true,

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that you do drugs, that'
s not true, that you get

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on the bike, that' s
not true, that no one loves you

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and you' re cheating on her, because then, if there' s

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something, even a little bit of
the other, she' s going to

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tell you. Of course, Mom, if you already know it' s

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not true, set up open conversations
with your children. I' d like

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to understand what' s going on
with this and we' re going to

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see where it goes and if at
any point to monitor your cell phone.

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He changed the key and didn'
t tell you. You talk to him

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and you tell him. The condition
for you to have your cell phone is

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that I have to know your cell
phone key. So, if, from

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that conversation we had, you'
re already starting to turn your cell phone

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back. This private, then I
will pick up the cell phone and you

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will have it only when I facilitate
it and with that you kill the birds

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with one shot And because already our
dear Pedro Hello, chayo how you are,

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because I very well. And you' re so ready what. Okay.

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I' m very pleased, Pedro, because Horita I have a question.

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Mexico, okay. I don'
t know other places, because I

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know little about the truth, but
Mexico is the place of oaths to quit

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alcohol, quit drugs. I'
m sworn, they say no there and

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well, little virgin Guadeloupe here in
our country. I don' t know

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in other countries. You' ll
tell us the truth. But they serve,

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serve, replace double a. I
believe that if it were, there

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would be no more self- help
groups. And, obviously, to see

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is a subject that, at the
end of the day, involves religious aspects,

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spiritual beliefs, etcetera. And it' s nothing against religion. It

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is, of course, what we
are discussing about what happens with this disease.

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It' s not clear. This
one to see serve could tell you

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that temporarily, in some cases it
may work temporarily not this to see I

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will swear a year that I will
not go to drug again and maybe I

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commit myself and I can do it, because I already start to think about

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the next party, at the next
meeting, with which friends I am going

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to go, how I am going
to celebrate it, that I turned one

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year without drinking and then already,
as soon as it reaches the date.

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Of course, what I' m
going to do is go back to what

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was going on before, not and
probably not just one day, but I

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' m going to go back to
the pattern exactly that I had in the

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previous ones to all this. What' s the matter with an oath?

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Actually, what I' m doing
is covering the bottle or just and distanced

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the drug from me, but I' m not working on a mental level

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in terms of the obsessions I have
with substance and probably when I take another

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oath now, because maybe I do
it again for a year but maybe now

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it doesn' t work for me. Okay, okay now. This is

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what would lead me to think that
what was there was a pause. In

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fact, it is and pause can
generate the false or illusory idea that I

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had control over alcohol, as well
or about addiction. That' s how

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it' s totally agreed. Besides
physically seeing if I stop drinking a few,

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I don' t even need to
stop drinking for a year to start

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feeling less physically better. In a
short time I' m going to start

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feeling much better. The process is
already interesting, because if you want to

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show it to the couple or to
the children or to the parents or whoever

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you see, then I can take
it again, because I already showed you

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that I could not so and then
there is as a very interesting self-

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deception part of the denial of the
same disease, totally, but with a

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trap for the other to fall.
That' s right Oh, Peter,

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how interesting is this? Is it
strong? It' s strong. It

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' s strong, no doubt.
Well, if you have a relative in

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those conditions, don' t fall, because this just checks out what you

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were telling him that there is an
addiction. Not the other way around,

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though it seems, because he'
s in disguise. Thank you, Pedro.

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See you the week that comes in, sell until later, notice that

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a video is circulating on social networks
because it has had a lot of excitement.

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There' s an artist, an
actress, Hannah Waddingham. I don

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' t know if they put her
on the Ted Lazo series and this woman

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shows up at an event and suddenly
it turns out they' re asking her

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to show a leg. The photographer
and she answer that. You' d

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never ask a man, don'
t be an idiot. Or I leave

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and finally you see that the man
insists and goes and has been very applauded

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this participation, this spontaneous response.
She' s dressed up elegantly because it

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looks like there' s an event. All people are very well arranged,

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but they ask him to show the
leg and, in fact, his reaction

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is oh my God no. If
I were a man to a man,

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you' d never ask. And
I think this continues to talk to us

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about how, in all contexts,
this situation continues to happen, even at

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the low point where we are,
even after all, what it is about

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pointing out about how we are seen
women. Without a doubt, this does

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not appear and the answer is forceful. You' d never tell a man

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friend of mine They tell him not
to be an idiot or I' m

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going straight, blunt and he'
s leaving. And this certainly makes us

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think that there is a process that
we do not finish understanding, that is

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so introjected into the culture that continues
to happen. Not good, it has

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had views and views and views and
views of the video because without a doubt

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look here I have it. She
was posing on the Red Carpet of the

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Olivier Awards She also came out in
the game of thrones in case someone didn

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' t place her by teslazo.
No. And finally, because all the

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audience that was there, Vitoria his
answer. How many times it doesn'

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t happen to you, man or
woman, no matter how much we fall

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into these, in these comments,
in these ways of describing forgiveness and continuing

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to point out as a difference between
men and women. What would have been

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asked of a man who would be
posing and who is asked of a woman

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who is posing? I have two
three children, a twenty- four-

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year- old girl, an eighteen- year- old girl and another thirteen

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- year- old boy. The
point is, my daughter, the median,

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was very rebellious and last year she
left the house right now. At

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present he returned this already with conditions, therefore, from us, from our

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parents, so that she would behave
in helping at home tie up his room.

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The point is, we' ve
been trying her dad me and her

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brother to accept her again and all
quiet, but my daughter, the oldest,

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kind of got used to it that
nothing else was her and since she

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was rude to my daughter, to
my other daughter, then this one now

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she doesn' t accept. Even
when she sees me with her, she

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gets upset and turns around and goes
away. They could help me. Yes,

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how complex, no, how complex
it is when one enters as in

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dilemmas in relation to the children,
when, obviously, all the children are

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important to the parents and suddenly there
is a situation of this kind. I

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think you need to give your older
daughter a little time, because your older

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daughter must have several, several situations
at stake. On the one hand,

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you tell me her sister didn'
t treat her very well and then,

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beyond being used to being like a
daughter alone, not even though there'

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s the boy, but being a
big daughter alone. Apart from everything,

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she must have been much more comfortable
and much more comfortable and no longer was

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the sister with whom she had the
quarrels. So, obviously, because it

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' s never going to be the
same thing that happens to some parents with

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a son who left the house than
what happens to a brother and brother who

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left the house, because I'
m more comfortable, I' m more

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comfortable, I relate better to my
parents. No one' s bothering me,

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well, then we could keep that
on the one hand. Second element,

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an anger is often generated that is
a bit like the one that is

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so alluded to by the prodigal son, and I do not say so in

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a religious subject, but many times
it is spoken because, because it has

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pierced that account of the prodigal son. The borders, even of religions,

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What happens the son who behaves well, the son who has done things properly,

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who has not given the problems suddenly
notice in the parents a great taste,

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a great concern, a great suffering
for the son who did not behaved

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very well and that suddenly, when
he returns home, as is the case,

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he does so because even if limits
are placed on him, even if

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rules are put on him, even
if conditions are put on him, there

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is clearly a feeling of my parents
are delighted. They returned the peace of

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mind, they returned the happy one
already have their whole family and I,

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who have been the good daughter,
for there is no great thing around me

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is not how it is given,
so it was my obligation and suddenly returns

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to my sister and things change and
give themselves the opportunities and forgives themselves and

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suddenly this feeling of me, that
I do it well, I do not

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receive recognition and this damn sister who
left and who did and who made them

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and that made my parents feel sorry
for today is here and it seems that

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nothing happened. Then there is this
double feeling many times and that is why

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it is said of the prodigal son
no, such that for those who do

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not know the story, good is
the son who leaves the house and then

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when he returns, because the father
does a whole party to receive the prodigal

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son no. And the brother,
who was there and who took care of

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00:23:56.799 --> 00:24:02.240
everything and who did things, says
man, what a lack even party they

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made him and I, who have
been here, have received nothing. The

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00:24:07.079 --> 00:24:12.440
point is to have patience, to
empathize with the sister, and perhaps it

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is worth talking to her, but
not for you to fill her with a

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sermon about it, but to tell
me how you feel about your sister'

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s return. I' ve noticed
this and I' d like to listen

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to you and empathize with emotion,
empathize with what she has to say.

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And, well, if she wants
to give you an explanation, but not

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because you have to account for her
actions, but so that she too will

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listen to the role of parents.
What about parents and where parents live things

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and, above all, what they
recognize. To her who has been and

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00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:03.039
who, as an older sister,
has perhaps presented the expected behavior and perhaps

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has rarely been recognized and I do
not know if within the rules that put

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her daughter who has already returned,
there is the respectful treatment of her brothers,

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nothing more to the rules of the
house, to the schedules of the

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house, to the grades of the
school. Anyway, I don' t

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know what you' ve been set
up, but within that scheme it'

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s also very important to respect the
brothers and give the older sister a little

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time to realize facts that her sister
might have really changed. After we were

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00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:55.079
talking yesterday about the importance of saying
no and how the vast majority find it

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00:25:55.119 --> 00:26:03.359
hard to say no and how.
Those who do learn it, learn it

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00:26:03.480 --> 00:26:08.480
with time and after previous experiences and
after many jobs and know that, besides,

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when you say no, others will
get angry, they will be offended

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and how it costs us. No, how hard it is and I was

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telling them on the show yesterday.
Well, then and here comes an additional

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00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:27.799
question, which is the one on
the net today. What is it,

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00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:37.359
what price or what prices have you
paid for not having said a no on

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00:26:37.359 --> 00:26:42.480
time. And well, the answers
go from many places, but a constant

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00:26:44.680 --> 00:26:49.480
is that no one says I haven' t paid any price even though I

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haven' t said no. No. And it is a question rather a

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00:26:55.799 --> 00:27:03.359
constant that strikes me very much,
because normally, even if it is few

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00:27:03.359 --> 00:27:07.960
times, there are exceptions in the
answers, or answers that break a little

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00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:12.839
with what most people think, or
answers that are divided into half imitated.

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Anyway, but in this question when
I was reading all your answers, those

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00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:23.920
that have come so far in the
different networks. I haven' t run

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00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:29.359
into anyone I say. I haven' t paid any prisoners for not saying

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00:27:29.400 --> 00:27:37.920
no. And this is rarely the
case. Some of the answers I can

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00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:44.880
get you to share is to take
responsibility for not saying no in time.

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00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:48.480
I would have saved myself a hundred
flavors, many bad experiences and, above

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00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:53.640
all, the regret of not saying
it in time. After that I am

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00:27:53.799 --> 00:28:03.240
not happier, freer and more independent. They have trampled my rights, my

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00:28:03.559 --> 00:28:06.559
tastes, and I have been filled
with fears. Say no more of what

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00:28:06.680 --> 00:28:11.640
size to fall into an economic crisis, not to say no, and that

321
00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:17.680
this crisis has been one of the
triggers to fall into a deep crisis of

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00:28:17.680 --> 00:28:22.559
alcoholism. Wow. I think moving
from my comfort zone to which I initially

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00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:30.319
saw it as a paid price,
now I see it as learning, the

324
00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:36.400
most expensive price of life answers someone
else for not understanding the power they have.

325
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:41.519
The swearing is not a word of
a syllable and yet its impact is

326
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:48.000
very great that the supposed friends would
get away from me and started the exit

327
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:53.200
to have fun without my company for
not drinking more than one glass of alcohol.

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Many say someone else, but it
is never too late to say no

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00:29:02.119 --> 00:29:07.319
and assume the consequences of my decisions
with humility and responsibility. I know I

330
00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:11.839
' ve been criticized, but blessed
God, not as neither drink of criticism

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00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:18.519
nor mental health, it' s
also healthy to say that I don'

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00:29:18.519 --> 00:29:22.720
t highly recommend it. Someone else
says. The consequences have been many,

333
00:29:22.880 --> 00:29:33.279
but especially to face being an adult
at seventeen years of age what my dear

334
00:29:33.319 --> 00:29:37.119
chayo can tell you. It'
s a little hard to realize what they

335
00:29:37.160 --> 00:29:40.559
really want from you because you realize
they don' t love you or appreciate

336
00:29:40.599 --> 00:29:44.279
you like they said when you say
no. But it' s better to

337
00:29:44.359 --> 00:29:53.839
realize who' s sincere and who
doesn' t overdo things when I was

338
00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:59.160
tired and when it was my break. And yet sometimes it keeps happening with

339
00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:02.640
people who did always come to sell
me things and when I said no,

340
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:10.000
I was withdrawn from friendship for not
knowing how to say no in time I

341
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:14.319
neglected, I forgot to live,
as the song says, and I only

342
00:30:14.359 --> 00:30:21.119
thought of others not me. Fortunately, I learned my lesson. I think

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00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:25.359
by not knowing how to say it
hasn' t affected my emotional health and

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00:30:25.400 --> 00:30:29.240
I think people take advantage of that, not knowing how to say no.

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00:30:29.319 --> 00:30:33.279
In time I did not enjoy my
youth and filled myself with responsibilities that did

346
00:30:33.319 --> 00:30:41.160
not fit my age. A very
high price tells me another woman to allow

347
00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:45.839
me to be used and deceived by
believing in those people, but I too

348
00:30:45.880 --> 00:30:51.480
was responsible for allowing it. I
won' t regret it anymore, someone

349
00:30:51.559 --> 00:31:00.160
else says. Someone bad says a
lot of things that stopped me talking.

350
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:03.680
Two of my aunts just the least. One of them died without lilac laziness

351
00:31:04.119 --> 00:31:07.880
and the other aunt, a year
before she died, changed her decision about

352
00:31:07.960 --> 00:31:14.200
her last will that she had ordered
as fifteen years before pushed me away as

353
00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:18.400
far as possible and pain and insecurity
are already in the sky. And I

354
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:23.920
regret that so much, because history
may have been different to suffer and,

355
00:31:25.079 --> 00:31:30.079
as a result, I take responsibility
for having made decisions that I should not

356
00:31:30.440 --> 00:31:37.039
have made having been preferable to say
no and keep what I had, because

357
00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:38.680
I think as a child. My
mom never taught me to say no.

358
00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:42.640
I always tried to give the best
to others, but that taught me that

359
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:51.319
the first is I now think first
of myself UFFF is a feeling of tremendous

360
00:31:51.480 --> 00:31:53.839
impotence, not daring to say no, not to hold it, despite the

361
00:31:53.839 --> 00:31:59.640
emotional conflicts it causes. I have
been provoked to think of the unjust that

362
00:31:59.640 --> 00:32:01.799
rolls life, for most of the
time neither giving in is a valued physical

363
00:32:01.960 --> 00:32:13.279
and mental health, binding myself to
people and to things the material. I

364
00:32:13.319 --> 00:32:17.640
lost my home, my dignity to
the extent that I didn' t know

365
00:32:17.799 --> 00:32:22.559
who my peace of mind was and
so many answers follow. What a price

366
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:28.160
it' s not to say don' t call, why I' m

367
00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:35.359
a boundary lover, because I'
m convinced that well- placed boundaries protect

368
00:32:35.400 --> 00:32:40.680
people. And well with this we
get to the end of the Socha Yo

369
00:32:40.680 --> 00:32:45.680
Busquets program. This was chayo with
you. We hear each other here again

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00:32:45.720 --> 00:32:52.680
tomorrow at 1: 00. Until
then Audio Center