Gather round friends to hear a very special fireside story. It takes place during
the most magical time of the year, when much of the earth is covered
in a peaceful blanket of soft, fluffy winter snow, when love is everywhere
you look, and good will flows like wine at festive family gatherings, when
the eyes of little children sparkle like stars, and refine ourselves caressed by the
velvet glove of night as we prepare for a new dawn, a dawn of
renewal and rebirth and the gift of another year. We are, of course
talking about our favorite holiday, Winter Solstice. So pour yourself a warming glass
of mulled wine, wrap up in your coziest quilt, and allow us to
transport you to a quaint little cabin on the edge of the dark wood on
this the longest night of the year. This is Winter Solstice, with the
three and just a pinch of ginger root and perfect alma. When is our
guest arriving an hour ago? Oh, it needs clothes, clothes will make
it too sharp. Has anyone seen obsidian? Absidian? Absidian? Close the
door, Chloe, it's freezing out there. Adele was due an hour ago?
Were our directions too difficult. Oh we should go out and look for
her. Oh nonsense, She'll arrive exactly when she's supposed to, and I'm
not going out there. It's pitch black and colder than my own bosom.
Now make sure you're stirring clockwise. It's not like Obsidian to be gone this
long, Chloe. Obsidian is a very resourceful and thick furred feline. She'll
be fine. We should be worried about Adele. The poor deer has been
through enough without freezing to death in the woods. No one is freezing to
death. Oh you know what mother used to add the dying breath of a
hanged man. That will make it far too spicy. What ritual are we
performing tonight? Is Adele the one who needs the sleeping tincture for her husband?
Oh no, that was for the actress, and she poisoned her husband
last week. I hear it was quite Shakespearean. Adele is the secretary who
requires a silencing hex for the man at work who won't stop interrupting her.
No, no, we cursed him weeks ago. The spell was very potent.
Apparently he no longer speaks at all. Oh, my, wasn't he
a radio announcer. Oh, yes he was, and I, for one
have been enjoying that program much more so. Adele must be the librarian who's
about to lose her home. Yes, oh, and that's not the half
of it. She's also in danger of losing her job. And of course,
oh, her husband. I'll get the poison. Oh no, no,
he's already dead. Oh good for her, Good for her? No,
Alma, they were very much in love. He died a hero in
the war. Well, that's no fun. I'm sure she'll be here any
minute. In the meantime, all this tragedy is dampening my Solstice spirit.
Why don't we start the bonfire? I have many things to burn. Or
we can summon the spirit of the High Priestess to give us our lessons for
the year and set our intentions for the next year's ritual manifestations. We could
open present. Oh yeah, that would be nice. I'm so excited.
I can't wait. II got Almah this year, and I finally found something
that will not disappoint her. We'll see about that, but I will be
going first age, before beauty and all that. Lucille, I drew your
name and I have truly outdone myself, which is really saying something. I
don't doubt it. But the sisterhood of this coven is the only gift I
need. Oh, Satan be praised, Shut up and open the box.
Oh a candle. You can never have too many candles. I will put
it with the others. It's not just a candle. I know you have
candles. Do you really think I would get a witch a candle? But
I love candles. Everyone loves candles. That's why you give them to people
you don't like and don't know. This is a fully prepared, entirely charged,
and extraordinarily potent banishing spell. I've done all the preliminary spell work and
completed the arduous personal sacrifice. So all you have to do is light her
up and watch her cut and clear a certain disruptive presence directly out of your
life. Oh that is so lovely. Oh it must have been so much
work. The craftsmanship of the sigils you carved. I love it. Who
am I banishing? What? You've got to be kidding me? The man?
Oh yes, the man. So men in the broad sense, now,
oh not all men. If I was that powerful, my dark lord,
it's for the grocery shop man, the one you can't stop complaining about
every week, just constantly. Oh, Alma, he won't stop fondling my
waist and boo hoo, Chloe, he won't take his eyes off my quote
ample birthing hips unquote. Oh and last month when you ordered a pound of
sausage and he made that joke. Oh, how did it go? Oh?
Let me almah, I recall exactly. No, I remember now,
and yes, of course he was truly the absolute maine of my existence,
except for the uh last time I was there, his wife was visiting her
mother, and I found myself alone with him. So there I was receiving
his usual unsolicited admiration, and at last I finally shouted, good sir,
I do not appreciate the advances of married men. It is both uncouth and
untoward. And then he said, well, I do not know what that
means. And then he thrust his groin at me with great vigure, so
much so that when I stepped out of the way, he cascaded blithely forward
toward the cellar stairs, and the momentum carried him straight down. It was
very noisy, but it had a certain musicality which is neither here nor there,
because he was dead the moment he hit the floor. What was I
to do lead him to rot? Clearly, I could not pass on this
opportunity that the dark Lord had so lovingly bestowed upon me. So, Chloe,
I feel like now would be an excellent time for me to give you
your gift. Oh wonderful. Oh and Alma, I do love the cut
and clear spell. I know they require a heavy sacrifice, and I'm sure
we'll find a perfect use for it. Yes, of course, I had
such a clear vision to create it. I do wonder what the fates have
planned to know what happened to the shopkeeper though, Oh yes, well we'll
get to that. So you know how your recent paramore has been aloof of
late, and you felt your future with him was unclear, and you have
insisted on ignoring my advice and refused to use the poison I prepared. So
I have concocted a very rare, very powerful clear sight spell. Oh I've
wanted to try one for ages, but there was a certain ingredient that I
felt a little uncomfortable sourcing. Oh you didn't, It seemed like such a
terrible wayte Oh you did stop at Alma, go on open it? Oh
my, that's so potent. Is it wine from the mouth of an unchased
priest? Yes? And how did you ever find the private pet name of
a merciless killers whispered by his lover? A lady never tells. And I
suppose the eyeballs belonged to the shopkeeper man, the wandering eyes of a married
man. Goodness, these eyes don't just wonder, they are positively nomadic.
Oh, Lucille, it is a masterpiece. I am sure this potion would
allow me to see anything my heart desired, if only my heart still desired.
Oh good, you did use the poison, oh dark lord? No,
but I did discover he was wildly unfaithful. I sent a raven to
watch him, and it turns out he was hemming the local seamstress. Oh
so I waited until dark, right when she was about to close shop.
Then I snuck in, hid behind a bolt of felt, and just as
she reached to open the door, I jumped out and befriended her. Ho
Hui had a lovely visit. Such fun. Did you know she is a
triple virgo just like me? Oh right, ho? And the best part
is she and that man were engaged to be married. We marched right over
to his room in his mother's cellar and performed a double breakup in perfect harmony.
It was lovely, and his tears were delicious, bitter and salty.
But don't worry, Lucio, I'm already flirting with that young rider at the
Salem Dispatch. Ah. He seems riddled with all kinds of mental maladies and
toxic world views. Take her. I am sure I will need to spy
on him eventually. Oh, of course you will, dear. Oh,
it seems like I was also a bit off with my own gift giving intuition.
Oh happens to the best of us. Well, I know that I
am spot on, Alma, it's your turn. Well, don't mind if
I do. Oh, black lace very nice. I could always use more
material for shrouds and such. Well. My new seamstress, Brind had the
most lovely funerary lace. And I know how you love to attend funerals,
but also how much you hate offering condolences. So I thought a full body
widow's veil would be perfect. But you didn't sow the veil yourself and risk
disappointing you Besides, the last time I tried to use your enchanted silver scissors,
they cut off my favorite chin hair. But I I'm sure they will
make you something most disturbing and highly fashionable. Oh oh my, oh,
you hate it? No? No, I love it as I loved my
enchanted shears. But the true gift is really the sisterhood of this coven.
You really hate it, No, my dear, It's the finest funerary lace
I've ever seen. I am sure it would have made a lovely widow's veil.
Unfortunately, in order to create a potent, cut and clear candle,
there are sacrifices that need to be made. Oh oh ma, did you
sacrifice your enchanted shears over a simple case of male indiscretion? Well, I
had to do something you certainly weren't. I refuse to poison every man that
makes a comment about my hips, and why not. You're a witch,
It's what we do. Stop it. Stop fighting. You are ruining solstice.
Maybe I will like this candle and cut the real unwelcome presence from my
life. Oh I dare you? Oh you don't think I'll do it?
Well, I wonder who that could be and what other surprises might the solstice
have in store for our three sisters? I guess we'll find out after these
words from our sponsors. Hope you've had a chance to refresh your beverage and
fetch another even softer, fluffier blanket. As we returned to winter Solstice with
the three adele, Oh you made it. Sorry, I'm so late.
The last riddle in your directions was far more difficult than I anticipated. See
Lucille, I told you she was still alive. Did you see a black
cat out there? Almost as black as the soul of the dark Lord?
Very dark, very very dark? Thank goodness, No, that beast sounds
terrifying. Oh she is, and do we miss her? So well?
Let's get you a warming potion. I think we could all do with a
warming potion. None for me. I know I appear calm, but I
am actually quite frightened of witchcraft and all of you. It's just mulled wine,
dear. Oh, but please go on. Your fear will make it
more aromatic. Oh, stop it. There is no reason to be afraid.
We know you are in distress, and we are here to help.
Here you are, and may I take your person? Oh? How wonderful
looks sisters. She brought us a purse jilt with mice and cockroaches. Oh
no, that's not a gift. I mean, you're welcome to it.
I must confess it was not intentional. My home is overrun with vermin.
I've tried everything, but to know of it, I am simply outnumbered.
Have you considered burning your home to the ground with cleansing fire? Yes?
Then I would have nowhere to live. Can you say you are entirely overrun?
If only there is a way to make this unwonted presence leave and never
return. Oh, Satan's horns, I have got it, Alma, Are
you thinking what I'm thinking? That we should kill every man in town and
offer their souls in exchange for the dark Lord's extermination services? No, I
mean no. Oh you want to give her the candle, don't you?
Yes, it's perfect. You won't mind, will you? Almah? Oh,
I suppose not. It seems the fates have aligned. Perhaps the true
gift I have given Lucille is the opportunity to help a woman in need.
Blah blah blah. Whatever idiotic things Chloe would say, I would say just
that, minus a condescending tone and the mean stuff. At the end,
all you need to do is light this candle and picture your home free of
these delicious little creatures. I believe I can do that, Thank you.
Is there anything else, dear? I feel terrible asking. You've been so
kind already, But there is another thing. Oh, of course, And
there is no shame in requesting a beauty glamour. After all, those thick
glasses are doing nothing for your eyes. Yes exactly, the doctor says I'm
going blind. I only have a few weeks left. If that, oh
no, well, the library will need to accommodate you. I will contact
my former lover, Louis Monsieur. Brill is long dead, but we still
make love on occasion. Thank you. But they have already found my replacement.
That's not fair at all. Hmm. Then we will meet a spell
to restore your sight. Oh my, sisters, are you thinking what I'm
thinking? We kill the replacement. I'll get the poison. No well,
no, Lucio, the clear sight spell? Oh that could work, Oh
very well, I believe here you are. Dear. You want to drink
this down as quickly as possibly. Oh my, that scent is very interesting.
You don't think about it or look at it. Go on down the
hatch. Oh and what isish? Some kind of fruit, indeed the fruit
of the face. Oh, don't chew, just swallow like an oyster.
Oh no, no, get it all down. Oh they're good, Lucy,
he'll get the bucket. No, no, she's got it there now
open your eyes. Oh, oh my goodness. This cabin is lovely,
and these three are as well. The men in the village told me you
were all hideous hags. Oh we are dear, very much so. But
we are wearing our glamours, hand our girdles. And might I say,
Lucial that your figure is particularly lovely and ample in all the right places.
Oh yes, I thought that might happen. But coming from you, it
is a bit more palatable if you were to smile a bit more. All
right, darling, are we done here? Any other tragedies we can assist
in abating? Oh, only one, And I am afraid there is nothing
you can do. I have lost the love of my life and now I'm
doomed to live alone and lonely for the rest of my years. Hmm,
sisters, I do believe you are thinking what I am thinking. Oh no,
Almah, you can't give her the widow's veil. It's too cruel.
No, that's my present. I was thinking we'd sacrifice every man in town
so that we may perform some necromancy. I'll get the poison. Oh I
love necromancy. Now we just need to know where the body is buried.
Oh well, he was blown to bits by a mortar shell while storming the
beach in Normandy. Oh well, damn, very heroic. Indeed, you
may carry the notion of his heroic death with you. Oh, that won't
do at all. There must be another way. She deserves loud and companionship,
and perhaps, when she's in the mood, someone too tenderly caressor Absidian,
our darling familiar has returned, Obsidian, Where have you been? Close
that door? Wait? Look all over darling kittens? What? Five?
Six? Six kittens? Oh no, seven? Yeah, seven kittens?
Now close the door. Oh aren't they adorable? I love cats. Well,
I do believe the fates have revealed a final Solstice gift for our adele.
I'll take them all. Oh my, really, well, you are
welcome to them. But are you sure you can handle all seven? Absolutely?
I have so much love to give. I am sure you do.
We should better had them all, maybe one or two. Don't be restrictive,
Lucille, she said she could handle all seven. Yes, but she
doesn't know. No what let's tell her. I can't wait to see the
look on her face. So, as you know, we are witches,
and Obsidian is our familiar who on most days assumes a feline form. However,
she also has a very delightful demon form, and of course occasionally returns
to her original form, that of a human woman. If you see what
we mean, I am not sure I do kittens? Would you mind?
Hello? You look lovely, ma'am, such a fine litter of the young
men. I wanted to rub her feet. Would you like some wood chop?
Let me give you a kiss without her consent first? Yes, this
will do just fine. I will take them all. Could I do the
dishes? Even the ginger? Excellent as you wish? Wonderful? This has
been a lovely solstice after all. I can't thank you enough. I'll never
forget you, of course you will, darling. But take good care?
Do you need some help with that? May I hold you a curse?
What do you think your day? Goodbye, my dear, take care all
be well? Do no harm, and so you do no harm, do
what you will, Oh and do enjoy it. Oh. Happy Solstice,
Sisters, Happy Solstice, Happy Solstice Sisters, one and all. And that
was Winter Solstice with the Three. The cast featured in this episode include Casey
Laforest as Lucille, Mary Murphy as Chloe, Alison Gwynn as Adel, a
few of our favorite guys as the Kitten Demon sex Men, and me Ali
Silva as Alma. Winter Solstice with the Three was written by Liz Liser and
Casey Laforest and directed by Liz Liser. Fireside Mystery Theater is brought to you
by Fireside Mystery Productions. The musical theme for the Three was composed by Ari
Keussler. Happy Solstice one and all and to all, a long dark night.
May the flickering of the fire within your heart cleanse your soul of the
lingering wickedness accumulated during this dying year, so that you may awake in the
light of day, refreshed, fortified, ready to face the new year,
and to mind the shadows. M