Hello, I'm Amanda and I play Gwendolen Evangeline Clute, The Witch of the
Wilds. Could Have Been Heroes is an independent podcast, so please consider joining
us on Patreon and giving us a follow on Instagram and Twitter at cbhpod Enjoy.
The Show Could Have Been Heroes is a role playing game podcast where six
old friends adventure as six total strangers, who, after missing their shots at
destiny, now get a second chance to make a mess of everything. The
head of Damuel Savenar's pony ruptured inward as the sound penetrated its mind. The
young man was no great rider, and when his horse folded forward, it
was all he could do not to be crushed along with it. The world
exploded upward in dirt and ash. The cremated path through the woods luckily made
a fairly soft medium for a fall, and the young boy disappeared underneath a
gray dune. The sounds, the screams, the music of the apocalypse played.
A wave of undulating rainbow color washed over him, and from a hole
in his ashy concealment, d'muel watched men come ungraffled as if they were made
of string, and someone had found a snag and pulled, they slipped apart
so easily, a glittering mist of their blood was left in the air where
brothers, friends, and sons once stood. Dmuel felt his organs re arranging
within him as the sound wave of annihilation passed over. The downy ash must
have muffled enough of the nightmarish music to save him. The boy grabbed handfuls
of that ash, now wet with the blood of evaporated men, and packed
it in his ears as he crawled out, scrambling desperately trying to get away
from the broken and twisted man who sounded life's end through the hollows of its
body. As he unearthed and began to run, he could see good King
dem and his honor guard disappearing into distance. Wait, he screamed, hopelessly,
come back. His voice was drowned out even in his own ears.
As another bone chilling wail roared out from the trumpet. Damuel chanced to glance
back behind him, and his eyes caught caught on the perfect alabaster skin,
the bl bloodless flesh, pristine bone. Such an other worldly configuration, was
it not worthy of worship? More worthy, certainly than the fleeing king in
the distance. The air around him seemed to crystallize, like a mouth or
the throat of a worm made of rainbows. Demuel closed his eyes, his
heart overwhelmed with fear and awe, and waited for the sound to consume him.
A huge shape struck the congealing air, green fur as big as a
hill, swung a silver gauntlet into the sound and ruptured it. Shockingly.
The broken sound bled and fell away. Crab my birk. The big thing
snorted to him, he could just make it out through his earplugs. It
swung its big arms again into another shape, a creature hidden in the light
and sound, his blow cracking against its invisible head. As the thing and
the sound fell away, damual sense of awe disappeared, and all that remained
was cold, hollow fear. I I can't, I'm too scared. The
big shaggy beast smiled so kindly at him. Doubt scood when you're scared his
opportunity. You can only be brave when you're scared, and bravely sbastis thing
to be. Damuel's small hands moved, grabbing onto the beast's fur. Another
crackle of deadly sound passed over them. Come on, you, friend,
that must chose the only thing that can make noise, drown it out,
roar with me. Damuel swung wildly around on his new friend's back as it
fought desperately against killers hidden within the music, and though he was not at
all sure why, moments later he and his massive protector in wild unrestrained defiance
were roaring at the top of their lungs on a field of ashes that was
once part of the Sacred Grove. The Nearlys have met with the leaders of
the crown Lands and convince them to turn their forces and their dragons fire on
the brier Witch's Tower. However, their meeting site is at the end of
a path burned by dragon flame, not an inconspicuous meeting place. Something huge,
like a gigantic bat winged lion has hit the ground nearby the King Manuel.
Whatever this is, it has a huge black iron mask like locked onto
its face, and its tail has a morning star of iron on the end
of it. Manuell, what have they done to you? Is that?
You boy? It does look so familiar, except it looks like it has
had black iron like scalded and seared onto its body, huge rings of cold
iron sliced through its flesh and bound into its ears and neck. Me a
mod cries out via MoU all right. It hits the ground near the king,
and spines flare everywhere, a bunch of the King's shields like die in
a hail of poisoned volleys, protecting him from from the spikes. And now
Martin, it is your turn, all right, I'll try to go over
to it and try to touch it, like Manuel, is that you in
there? What what happened? So as you get closer, you like reach
out towards it, and there's no way to get anywhere anywhere near to touching
it safely. But you catch like a flare of green eyes from inside of
the helmet, and they look the eyes, those terrifying, glowing luminous eyes
look very familiar, except the expression of pain and fear frozen on their like
onto them, is completely different than what the sort of confident, powerful visage
that you had seen before. So it appears to be the same manticore you
treated with all those weeks ago, but now like forced into some sort of
insane like physical bondage. It looks scared inside the mask, like it has
no control over itself anymore. Gwen, you might want to come over and
take a look at this. All right, Gwen, you're up ferefully so
with like my last tiny bit of anima, I want to well and you
you have a chance to use consumables and stuff before yeah, you get back
into this. I want to cast. Why don't we just for the sake
of take brevity, just like chalk you back up to twenty Okay, So
I'm just gonna and then I'll recross my inventory exactly, But I want to
cast ghostly miss great to basically just put up an amorphous wall visual of visual.
I don't want it to great, want to do it? You want
to throw a smoke bomb down so that the manti gore can't see them them
and can't see the mantic guar and the archers can't see it. Great,
And then really, all I want to do is gently approach and try to
see if I can figure out like the mechanics of this mask that's on his
face. Great, So Gwenn throws her hand down and an explosion of smoke
and mist swirls out from the spell. Would you roll your spell mutation?
I rolled my mutation. Okay, very bad. Oh no, I'm sorry
to hear that. So everybody buckle up because I rolled a two, which
triggers ravenous thoughts. Oh God, from within the realm of dreams, hungry
notions emerge. They tear at the minds around them. All characters in the
zone lose four wits at the start of each turn in the miss. Oh
it's one mind, now great, there's one mind at the start of each
turn in the miss and the miss last, can we just step out five
rounds? Yeah, that's all right. So Gwen, in her haste,
throws the Ghostly Miss spell down and it just goes woo. It just ghosts
and horrible spirits and strange thoughts rampage up out of the spell and like assault
everyone inside of it. So everyone loses one mind. Great, sorry guys,
however that counts for everyone else. Yeah, and the concealing effect is
quite potent. So if Manuel is not freaking out too much, I still
want to try to see if I can get this mask off of it.
Interestingly, it doesn't seem to have affected him. Love that whatever that apparatus
is appears to be shielding him from it. So you rush up and grab
onto the metal mask with both hands. Would you like to try to pry
it off or or inspect it to see what it is first. I want
to inspect it because I want to hurt him. Intellect difficulty five check brave.
Yeah, you're running right to danger hunter, because I think I would
be aware of like traps and other contraptions that might be useful in figuring out
how to open this metal thing. Interestingly, it's a it's a magical construct,
so that's not gonna help you out. Oh all right, Gwen rushes
up. Her fingers are bleeding as she is pulling on this traption. It
looks like a torture implement or like an inquisitor's hood, but you can feel
tingles and prickles of magic traveling through your fingertis when it's probably magical. I'd
love to know that three minutes ago. However, looking it into his eyes,
whatever it is, it's clearly compelling him. You remember the contract.
The contract was I will not accept in cases of self defense harm humans.
He killed two of them, like with a barrage of spines while trying to
to assassinate the king with poisoned spikes. So whatever it is. It seems
to be controlling his thoughts. So if you could get it off of him,
perhaps, Yeah, you know, I want to do that, but
I'm out of turns now. Okay. So the ruin of flesh that the
trumpet has become has exposed some strange things about its anatomy, like its ribs
have holes in them like flutes, and its arms have joints like the bellows
of a bagpipe, and its spine starts to elongate, and a bladder of
some kind starts to swell, and it's the like bloody ruin of its mid
of its inerds. It's starting to like fill up like swell like swell up.
Okay, So that's the Trumpet's turn, and Amelia, you are up.
Okay. So you saw Gwen charge into the mists somewhere you can hear
her like trying to pry that off of the manticore and then kind of stopping
because she doesn't know if she doesn't want to like kill him by removing it.
Ah, So where where is how much area is that missed covering or
is it just you and the manticore in kind of covers that I think Martin's
in there it's like a big it's big. It's like if you were anywhere
near me, you were probably Okay, so then we're all in it right
now. Then, Okay, I'm just wondering. There's this icy mists spell.
I'm just wondering if that does missed? Can I just like supersede that
missed with miss I missed on the miss blow it out? But can we,
like I just did, I want to cancel out that bad missed.
You want to know your miss over my miss. I want to mix.
I want to like overlap. I think they can both exist in the same
space. That you don't like the the you don't want the ravenous missed.
Yeah, I just wanted to, Like, you know, you want to
try and dispel Gwen's missed I do. I think in my mind just like,
this is the sloppiest mist I've ever seen. I miss this came out
rough. It's not what I intended. So you want to miss spell?
Cancel it? Okay, great, So you're gonna cast on the mist.
You're gonna cast icy mists and cover the group in uh like, sparkling frosty
mists that blow the inferior ghostly mists away. Oh my god. All right,
so now everyone is freezing cold. Yeah, look what you did but
made it worse. But at least you are being attacked by ghosts. So
so basically you just overright over with a different spell. Girl, you got
to tighten up that mist. Okay, this is not the time, the
time for sloppy miss ghosts to be fighting us. We need to strategize here,
Great, what else do you have? By all means, let's get
a new target here and just a bit strategize. Yeah, I mean you're
new here, but but yeah, take over. Well who should I hit
first? You tell me. There's a lot of interpersonal drama between you and
these groups, So you tell me what you need from me. That's what
I'm here for. Well, I need to get this magical locked muzzle off
of Manuel. Okay, so she conjures up a crystal crowbar. A fantastic
So she just draws her hands. So impressed and so jealous, she draws
her hands apart and creates an incredibly gleaming crystalline crowbar and jams it into the
side of the u of the mask that starts trying to pry it open.
Do you want to conjure it and give like and jam it in there and
wait for someone with stronger to do it or would Yeah, she's like,
I'll leave the physical labor for the woodcutter to deal with. Great, all
right, Zenataur, I want to analyze enemy intellects on the guy who's filling
up like a bagpipe. This creature is called the trumpet. Is it a
glorious? The trumpet? It is? It? Definitely, it's definitely a
glorious. It's the most human looking glorious you've seen before. But it is,
you know, twelve feet tall, and now you can see its insides
are very deformed and strange. And in fact, those men who ran over
toward it, towards it and seem to fall asleep have died. They are
actually dead on the ground. They died just for getting close to it.
What is your intellect is ten? Very good? So this creature uses sonic
attacks sounds. It creates sounds, apocalyptic sounds like that. You look at
it, and all you can see is that its body looks like a huge
musical instrument. Those holes in its bones, those strange like swirls and like
tuning forks like built into its like guts and spine this thing is an apocalyptic
instrument and it is about to play. Did I get any elemental weaknesses or
strike points or anything like that? So do I need a different? Oh?
Sorry, sorry, Yeah, that's right. You did analyze enemy.
I just gave you it as if you were just like studying it like with
an intellect check. Okay, So it is weak too, void matter strong
against sacred and luminance. That's it. That's what you get with first for
damage types. Do you think making our own noise would be a defense against
it? Countertne All right, I'm gonna do another analyze because I can get
more information if I do it a different check right, characteristic? All right,
so we'll do cutting four. Cunning four is sadly not worth anything other
than Hey, that looks like a big bladder of air. If we pierced
it, maybe something would happen. Hey that does sound useful. That's super
useful. Poke the bladder? What the effect might be? Right, I'm
going on? Then I'm so I can. Well, here's what I'll do.
I will. I've got uh the like secondary like small the knack I
guess it's called for thundering words? Is megaphone? You increase the volume of
your voice to supernatural levels, cutting above nearly any din and being audible at
huge distances. And I'm going to uh do that and then start conveying everything
that I learned in my analysis to the entire group, calling the Gandolf,
calling on everyone, uh, telling everyone that is a glorious uh, telling
everyone that we have defeated glorious. They are not indefeatable. We will will
beat this soul. A big part of will just be like morale, encouraging
people, and then conveying that the tactic should be to uh to pierce the
bellows so that it can't make noise, that it's gonna attack with with volume.
And then I will just like I won't stop talking. I'm just gonna
like keep talking in the entire time, just like encouraging and gotcha. Yeah.
So, like how when Gandolf was riding up the like fight fight for
a live like you know that. Yeah, So suddenly Xenator's voice is booming
out and he's calling for arrows pierce, pierce the bladder. Don't go near
it, don't go near it. The sound the sound is deadly and sure
enough, even as you're yelling that there are men just dropping like again,
like just falling asleep. But I mean you can see them like defecating and
their you know, as their bowels release and their eyes just like sort of
rolling out of their heads. As this sound starts to spread, and as
men are caught in it, they just die. It destroys the grass,
It destroys it, like evaporates the ash around it. It's starting to become
like just a plate of glass as this sound is slowly spreading out from it.
All right, So, however, at your direction, another barrage of
arrows fires in from the Crownlanders and the Revelwood sayrs like, you know,
fifty heavy arrows right for that for that bladder? Would you roll a luck
check? Hey? Lots of the arrows evaporate in the air, blown to
dust as they careen in. But enough, go fast enough and true enough
and hit the bladder, that strange welling in the center of the creature's chest
like it was a beautiful man. And then it just bent backwards. Its
spine started to stretch, and it's turning into this god awful like harp bagpipe
thing holes opening up in it. And now, however, that like the
air bladder at the center of it has enough punctures in it that it's losing
steam, and that like the song of the Apocalypse, is starting to like
coalesce back around it in a smaller in a smaller sphere of destruction. So
at the back of the the van, the the cabbian like just like half
in, half out, is like on the back, yeah, on the
back of his centaur, and he almost looks like he's like no, and
the centaur is riding him forward towards the towards the battle. No, take
me home. I know how to do it, okay, William guys,
Oh you guys, what is the uh? Silight disappears somewhere on the west
side. He's still there, still there, Like with a quick scan,
am I able to find focus? Becus Jack Hidden Difficulty sixteen. Hey,
he is uh rushing in towards the center of the group. He has some
sort of a weird blur over him. You actually you know that move the
blur of r. This is of the monks of Zurr, who use this
like weird where you move in such a strange way that people's the damn it,
you guys, the blur of sir. The monks of cr they are.
Yeah, there's a monastic tradition of monks that and how they how they
fight is they move in such a weird unusual way that the brain like maps
them out because they're just so strange. The movements are so strange that they
can like kind of trick the eye into thinking that they're not there just by
being so like unexpected. Basically, so anyway, you have studied similar arts
in your in your day. But so he's using that technique to rush forward.
And he's running right past crownland guards and centaur like warriors right towards all
field dem and the duke like right towards the center of the battlefield. And
yeah, he has loaded the ground. He has a big smile on his
face, and he has two like curved knives with serrated edges that look kind
of like jawbones. Man, I don't really don't care for two out of
three of those Yeah, you really want to let an assassination of two of
the three of those people happen. He is going to plug up his ears,
probably with mud or whatever, mmm, because there seems to be a
lot of sound stuff going on. As soon as you stuff that mud in
your ears, your bones, like the vibration of your bones feels like better,
Like you suddenly are just like ough, like you didn't realize how tense
just being in the vicinity of the trumpet had made you. And then,
because I cannot guarantee you that he's only gonna attack them, I kind of
like daphiel. I'm gonna go in stabby stab range. Okay, try to
stab him. Oh, I know, all right, So his guard is
fifteen. Talk to me about a perfect thrust. Nope, never mind.
Oh god, oh my god, so fastual one real perfect thrust sure scores
a critical hit on an eighteen to twenty. This attack can't miss except on
a critical failure. Oh, I'm so sorry. William. Guys, the
guys eponymous William died incredible legendary swordsman, or maybe one of his fucking st
more likely to be one of his stand ins. I am a little out
of practice. Russia's in and there is. There are flares of sparks as
he and Silac the sermon of need trade a few blows, and then a
bunch of fingers scattered on the ground as you gain the severed hand affliction,
which is for trauma. Oh I'm at seven already. I'm sorry. Well,
now it happens. Wait did you hit zero? I'm at zero.
A huge jet of blood sprays out of William Guys's hands. William dies silent
out from under him and starts stabbing him in the chest, over and over
and over again, blood spraying on. It is kind of hilarious. How
like you showed up postured for a little bit. The first thing you to
to to be fair, mister geist also got torched with dragonfire, so to
do two things got tortured with dragon It is oh my god. So again
no one really sees this, but silent like opens guy's stomach up and bathes
in his blood, pushing his entrails like all over his face, and he's
just going, oh, it's good, okay, So guys is dead.
Guys is dead. William Guys dies on or perhaps one of his assistants.
Yes, a horrible, blood curdling death on the battlefield. That would performance
standing again. I already described a whole bunch of horrible stuff. So you
have to do it. Oh, I have to come back and make fun
of your standard for failing. So immediately supposed to call me when I got
too hard. Can you imagine the stand in being like and now it's time
for me to be a hero because I always could have been? And then
William from the trees like holy fucking ship, uh emphasis on could have Yeah?
Yeah, Those sacred curses really help you out, don't they. Jesus
Christ. I'm so sorry, Kathy. I loved him. It was great.
He'll be back. He'll be back. I don't think so either.
Something tells me no, he won't be all right. O Tax grabs onto
the crystalline crowbar and starts to pry the manticore's mask open. Green Light starts
to crackle in and out of the contraption. Gwen is in there prying it
open. It's okay, I'm sorry to break my promise. We know we're
gonna help you. Stay calm, all right, Would you please roll O
Tax's strength? Check A Tax has a ten strength? Okay, So I
rolled a seven nice two shorts. So the the crowbar wedges in further,
the iron prize open, and more green light crackles out. But whatever curse
is laid on this thing is clinging tightly to the manticr's head. Silik finishes
gutting Uh the hero or one of his stands in stand ins, and now
like wearing a crimson mask of his blood, turns and rushes in towards the
towards the group he ignores. He thinks about trying to gut king all feel
He thinks about trying to assassinate them. What will make the most devastating effect?
What would be the worst thing to happen? And then he catches a
scent and turns with a crazed look on his blood caked face to Martin hidden
in the mists. Oh, pretty boy, what have we here? You've
got something stucked away in there, don't you love? What's your name?
Hey? Come here, I just want to talk to you. No,
you know no. And then suddenly there's a jaw blade knife like very near
Martin's face. All right, okay, Martin, would you please make a
guard difficulty eight? Check? How many actions does this guy have? He
killed geist? This turn right? Robbie's cheating? Well no, the counter
attack killed guys failed? All right. So suddenly there's this blood crazed psychopath
in Martin's face. Hey, calm down, I don't mean you any harm.
Oh no, sorry, you not you you? And then there's just
you feel this little nick on your forehead and something starts to run. God
damn it, they're always getting your blood. And someone rolls down, something
rolls down into your eyes. Wait, wait, what did you just do?
Free damn? You start to hear circus music. No, the calliope
starts to grow louder and louder. Pineapple, Pineapple, and I can be
seen peeking out from inside of Martin's forehead where Silas cut him. Platypus is
safe, Martin. What does Sirk say through the hole in Martin's forehead,
here's Johnny. Yes, that is so good. Actually, that's here,
sir, here's Johnny. He says, like, through this little cut in
Martin's forehead. All right, Martin is actually your turn. Well, I
mean that fucked up my whole plan. I'm gonna try to do it anyway.
Just see what happens really as well, I give really bad advice.
That's true. Yes, all right, I'm gonna yeah. I mean,
I guess since since Circus is poking out, my metamor side is maybe a
little more stronger than it than it normally is, So I'm gonna try to
turn into a big ass French horn. To try to drownd it out counteract
some of the Yeah, the noise effects, the sonic effects that we're getting.
So I do have a plus ten for horn. Okay, your horny,
oh, which gets me to a ninety three. So there is a
stretching and a swelling and a change in Martin and he becomes an enormous French
horn. I need someone to blow me now, I volunteered. Silic puts
his lips. No, actually, I don't have any more actions left.
Oh no, hold on, I'll take my next toe. I'll bow you,
good buddy. Oh my god, the mouthpieces. But well, what
else would it be? All right, Gwen? Okay, Well I don't
want this shady motherfucker to blow this horn. He doesn't, something bad will
happen, as I suppose. Yeah, I run over to Martin and put
my hand over the hole in his forehead, and then to think to myself,
I really wish I had one of Bell's fuckingband need something enchanted to stop
up? And I'm like, think, think, think, think, think
what can I what can I do? Uh? You feel a tongue lick
your pond? I was gonna say the same thing. I hate this so
gross, I can like feel it, like, yeah, I mean that.
I'm just gonna stand here literally just try and hold him, all right.
I have nothing that I could even try to plug you up. I'm
just reaching for ash and like, yeah, you try to make like a
clay package. Yeah, that's that I can do. So then you see
this red like face with this bald guy lean out from around the French horn.
Well to name, I'm sory, like I think I killed one of
you friends just now. I didn't know that guy ship. Okay, would
you please make a will? Uh yeez, let's just do an undertaking to
see Oh no, is it a one? What the fuck? You guys?
I have one point of room left. I have to do it.
So you reach up, you push on Martin's head, You concentrate, you
harmonize with him as best you can, and then something grabs onto your wrist
from outside of the hole. Thanks for the boost, and then pulls himself
out of Martin's head with Gwen as ballast. Oh yeah, give us some
more exit of it, and then the circus comes with him. There is
an explosion of light and sound, a cacophony as the entire circus comes rolling
out of Martin's head into the clearing. It just destroys trees on the far
end of the clearing. We should have got the swap, and Amanda and
Gwen are carried away on a wave of buttered popcorn. I'm snacking on it,
except and can't get any worse. Elephants and performers and tents come rolling
out like a massive serpent of light and colored uh fabric and sounds. The
soldiers are scattered left and right. The centaurs are scent, you know,
sprinting back into the trees, and the trumpets strange apocalyptic sound just fades in
and now he's playing a calliope toune. Maybe this unknowingly is saving our hides
right now. I don't. I don't think that's stop. I'm trying to
be positive, interesting sir, out of yeah, I fall agreed. Look
what all right, Amelia, it's your turn. This is insanity. There's
a parade coming out of this guy who's also a trumpet French horn, French
horn. It's like have you ever seen that anime movie Paprika? That is
exactly what I was thinking out of my head. It's just like grotesque like
faces and weird like hallucinatory, like grand King yo, like you know what
I want to you. There's this spell called crystalline pedals that you throw razor
short pedals out up to three characters within ten spaces. Because I want to
target so is circ physically separate, physically separate from Martini's outside of his head.
So I want to target circ and the glorious at the same time.
So how do I do that? Uh? Circus warding infinity? No,
no, I'm just kidding. Yes, circus warding fourteen and uh, the
trumpet has warning ten and if you could actually roll a twenty that would be
great because the rest of us are going poorly. Yeah, so then again
trumpet again for the trumpet twelve twelve plus Yeah, that'll head. So all
right, So the pedals slash along the trumpets like bladder, seeping out more
of the air, so its sound is diminished. Circ however, just like
y like eats the petals. I don't know. That's they get over to
him. They turned into rose petals and he just knoms down on them.
That is, that's that's not too bad, got it anymore? All right?
Zena's art right, I'm going to cast him Bigan on old tax o
tax welcome up to four times his size. Yeah, so I'll pay the
control toll. And I'm also gonna forked tongue it. Yeah you are.
It's not dirty though, totally normal thing to do. Oh it's not when
you're beginning someone that's even dirtier. Yeah, the forked tongue roll wasn't good
enough to actually use, so I can just discard that one. The other
one is going to be jolly, feels themselves filled with a pleasantness and joy.
They get ten spirits? Why am I so happy? Happiness is traumatizing
him further? Oh god? Alright, well you roll for uh for o
tax on his uh additional uh strength. He's got a plus fourteen now,
oh my god? And I mean can I aid as well? Sure?
You want to run in there, get your staff in and start prying it
open. Yeah, you might as well do that. Plus it gets me
a power to aid someone in a dangerous situation. Hey nice, I rolled
it to No, why are we like this? Why are we? Uh
facets gets him up to twenty four? Oh am I helping? Oh and
then your aid gets you to twenty five? All right? The mask pops
off. Fucking finally yeah, The mask pops off of the manticore and there
is a blare of green light that rockets everywhere. It looks like this has
greatly injured the manticore by peeling flesh and muscle off of its chest, and
yet its face looks exuberant and happy. I can noticely said never thought I'd
be happy to see you all again, my love. I hear, I
never left. You have to say, we have to stay. We must.
This is chaos, this is madness, it is chaos, but we
can't go. We have to stay and fight. Look into my eyes,
man, well, persona check, eat that creepy guy with the blood on
his face. Which one are you? You have imprisoned me plus four nineteen
Gwendolen this is the mantic Car inspires him to stay and not just take to
the skies and flee, and instead say and protect me, my love.
You make me crazy? What the hell? And so instead he turns and
looks at Silent, who is the one who caught him in imprisoned him,
and he goes, listen, I was just trying to get you back to
your old self. He's backing away from the mantic card, who is like
lumbering over George. I was trying to get They stole the murder out of
me. I was trying to get now, and the mantare pounces on top
of him and starts like like mauling him. All right, so we'll cover
that when we get back to Silen's turn. It is William Guys's turn.
Williams and trails are out of his body. Now that that sucks, and
he's looking down at his like gut itself as all of the bloods are pours
out of him. He could put it back. I could put it back.
Expected to go better than this, I admit those aren't supposed to be
on the outside. This is not great. Oh, holy shit, boil
overall the leaning in the fracas has like scuttled over to you. Oh,
I saw what happened. That is a terrible way to go, my friend.
I have considered better ways. Usually I'm bothering a lady or in the
beds of a beautiful maiden. No, hell, don't look God, whoa
howies so deep? Oh? Maybe maybe we could fix him. I honestly,
I'm not even really sure how he's alive right now? Who gays this
fucking ludicris he picks you up, take you to a doctor. Why does
Doughterfeld care about this person so much that he've never seen before? You remind
me of me? Alright, moving on, got it? Okay? All
right, I imagine there's like so you're not so blood like fucking out,
like yeah you are comic bleeding? Yeah, okay, all right. And
just I was gonna keep talking to the soldiers and I'll tell them to cover
their ears with mud. Good call. That does actually seem to be helping.
Fewer of them are hemorrhaging and just dropping dead on the spot. All
right, keep up your fire, yeah, And and the centaurs and satyrs
are all fine archers as well as the crown Landers, firing with great bows,
and they just keep filling it full of arrows, and it's healing and
sealing up its wounds even as they're they're being peppered into it. But they're
keeping enough oxygen like out of its body so that it can't produce as much
of the sound. And it is Silok's turn, and he's currently being mauled
by a mantic order. Amanda, I'm gonna have you roll a luck check
to see how that goes. Just to abbreviate it. You know how great
I am at these? I have no idea how great you are. I'm
always bad at the pyroll or a low hi roll hi roll looking for the
high roll. Well, I don't know what to tell you. That's fourteen.
Yep, thanks Kathy. We put a hand in this one and just
like back to it later, doing that bad considering that we rolled two ones.
We've freed Manuel did He's fine? Yes, fine of Fledgwood. Honestly,
I'm not even sure how you're still talking right now? What are you
gonna do? Yes, it's so good, all right. Manuel has Silac
on the ground. He worries him with his mouth. Blood sprays everywhere,
Poisoned spikes get shoved into Silo's body, and Sila goes. I love it,
and then gouges out one of Manuel's eyes with his blade and disappears in
a puff of smoke. Motherfucker. I run over to Manuel and put my
hand over his eye. In this situation all over again, my blind love.
Can we flee yet? No? We have to stay, all right,
Martin, So I think. As Sirk is getting further away from Martin's
body, he starts to feel well one, he's like, wait, what
what's going on? Where where am I? And I think the further he
gets, there's a pole back to Martin's body, like he's like circue kind
of like once he realizes he's out, he kind of looks around barfs just
and then feels this poll like back towards Martin's body, like in the Magical
Release, he like went out, but like something's not right, like he's
I'm not stable here. I mean I'm not stable anywhere, but yeah,
and you have this like weird almost like umbilical tether of the of the carnival
sort of swelling and growing behind you, but like Martin is kind of deflating,
and yeah, very weird, strange, surreal. So Martin tries to
run away from Cirque, and Cirque tries is running, starts to move back
towards Martin, so they're kind of like a rubber band like snapping back to
normal. So Martin runs away from Cirqu, who then, because that distance
is getting greater, feels starts to chase Martin, feels weaker and more and
more shrivel and then runs back towards Cirque, or Martin runs back towards Martin
Martin and Sir Serki Martin Martin, and then it starts running back. And
then there is a horrible wrench wrenching sound as the carnival rips loose of both
of them and crawls into the forest at suddenly rapid speed, leaving Cirque and
Martin by just the two of them chasing each other, and then suddenly staring
at this big chunk of both of their interior worlds that crawls off into the
fucking woods. So does that mean that's Martin's memories are now running loose in
the grimwood? I mean, beats me, sister. We're gonna have to
deal with that eventually, all right, So tough now without your fucking circus,
are you? No? I'm still pretty tough. Look to me,
Eric, when it's your turn. I know I'm everywhere. I am which
a bitch? Can I take out Manuelsa? There? Uh? You know
what, why don't you go ahead and make an attack roll for circ Yeah?
All right, call me a bitch. Oh my god, you saw
I roll that twenty For a second. I did not make it, all
right, Gwen, I am going to cast uh for the first time.
Ever, I'm going to use my tree friend ability, and I'm going to
summon the crickwood straw Oh nice strawberries. So I cut my flesh and cast
off my butt blood, paying one body and one spirit, it germinates and
grows, summoning an enchanted tree. This tree is incredibly tall. It's twenty
feet high and strong, but it's not very dexterous, and it cannot lie.
It also has a lovely baritone. At the end of the duration,
the strider plants itself where it can even in solid stone and becomes a healthy,
natural tree. So I'm also continuing to give back to all right.
So as the blades fly through the air, Gwen slices her palm and a
tree springs out of the space. Hopefully that's where the daggers went. They
just went into the side of the tree. Oh that's only you. That's
only if you use it to make a tree become your friend. So there's
two modes of casting. One is you make a tree like you, and
the other one is ten for the the mutation for that all right, that
is heavy with snow. The strider is a frost pine, freezing to the
touch and dripping with icicles, add fifteen frost damage to its attacks. It
does lose one speed. Okay, well it's about time you learn some magic,
all right, Amelia. I want to cast crystal shaping to wrap Cirque
in an iron maiden with a full like face shields. All right, there
are there is a flash of crystal that appears around Cirk. Would you go
ahead and will versus warning? So that on? Here? What's that that's
not on? Well, it's a pretty creative use of the ability. I
think it just works, okay, just because it doesn't. It doesn't,
I don't know. It's not like it lasts forever. Well that's why I
am not going to get taken down by an alternate care. Yeah okay,
so I'm just like, no, it's it's happening. It definitely worse roll
of fifteen or higher and I win again. All right. A crystalline cage
appears around circ who just oozes out through the joints and crevices of it and
the spikes. He just oozes around it like he's made a taffy. How
do you capture a whisper? How do you put shackles on a dream set?
A tart? You're up. Can you hold water? Yes? Shut
up? Alright, be dead, guys. I don't know how he's still
talking, you know, fucking around. We have a glorious to kill little
fireball. Whoa, it's warning. It's ten, so I need a seven
at thirteen. All right, there is an explosion, flame and light lick
all around trumpet's location. Alright, my two manifestations back the heat from the
spell. It rupes upwards, singing character. So I'll just skip that one.
That's the forked tongue. Oh yeah, I'll cast this with adder white
staff. Yeah. So the next spell you cast, this turn deals doublest
normal damage the damage so then it's cosmic fire. So the spell ignores all
fire resistance as the spell mutation and its damage is. So that's thirty five.
So fifty five doubled is one hundred and ten fire sacred damage. All
right, he has twenty sacred resistance, so that knocks it down to ninety.
The trumpet disappears in a solar fireball, and when the flame clears,
the thing that you know has a few singes, and a few of its
ligaments are are contorted and snapped, but it just keeps growing and keeps playing
that horrible sound, and it seems like it's getting bigger and it, you
know, its limbs are growing and swelling as more people drop to its sounds.
It seems like it's feeding off of the horror of the situation. And
then you realize that dem and his guards have fled and the Duke has fled,
and King all Feel reaches down and crabs onto Amelia and Xenator and puts
one under each arm and just starts to run, like holding each of you
like like underneath an harm. Well, let the time to call everyone,
time to run, flee, retreat, retreat and all right, So William
passes in and out of of consciousness a few more times, you lose track
of giant attacks in the fracas Martin. Where does Martin go? He's got
start chasing after him, Yeah, I think, yeah, Circ's chasing after
him. I mean, I think he keeps running, but I think eventually,
like the circus gotta catch up with him and fuse back together. Right,
right, So maybe you know, when everyone's retreating, Martin trips and
the chicken and then circ just walks up behind him as everyone's running away,
and it's like, where do you think you're going come on and give us
a hug, and then yeah, I can't live without Yeah. He says
it like as like Cirk's arms are like wrapped, like he's like hugging him
from behind, and he like whispers into his ear like I can't live without
you, and then just kind of like melts into Martin's body, and Martin
kind of shakes and in the chaos, starts running with everyone else. I
think, so Manuel like limps towards Gwendolen, my lady. I am afraid
that the sound of the Apocovis cannot be stopped. We must flee. I
will not flee. I have my new friend, this big frozen scary tree
to help us. It will color a retreat. I will not let you
die here today. Well, you don't own me, so you figure it
out. If you want to run, then run, but stop pressuring me.
I will break up with you, all right. The manticore grapples onto
you and tries to like bite into your cloak so that he can carry you
away. Would you like to try to try to resist? Yeah? Can
I cast levy toxic masculine? Don't I? Cast no means no? Hey,
you cast no? Means, no, what do you mean to roll?
To see if I survive this strength versus his strength? Defense? Roll?
Oh, now I can roll like a normal person seventeen and my strength
is five? All right, whatever role again? And then add a ten
on this one because his strength is ten and you just have to beat he
has to. If he beats you, he carries you away otherwise. So
I'm at a twenty two roll? Are you kidding? But are you roll?
Oh? My god, are you kidding? What is it? It's
like fourteen? So I rolled twenty two and he rolled twenty four? Is
that like why we have me? Kathy? You're blissfully dead? I know,
no, still dying? Yea, Kevy, you're dead. It's not
my problem anymore. My lover has turned on me, dru Is this all
like the last Twilight movie? Well, considering the show everyone dying and they
find out, it was just like yeah, and so now we come to
and it's like, no, well we just woke up from the dragon.
Really, that's really funny. Yeah, she visited, so carried away by
the manticor, Gwen is kicking and screaming as her brave and valiant tree spirit
goes lumbering towards the Glorious and smashes into its body, careening it to the
ground as they both disappear inside of an apocalyptic white flare as the song of
the Apocalypse, out of the trumpet trumpet goes off, enveloping the entire clearing
and a large portion of the woods. In this destructive white light. Anyone
left behind at the battlefield is obliterated. Meanwhile, Hurdy barricade and val Lava
in a very wounded crambul box. What he's got rabbit print kick marks all
over his face? Feel at that moment it was when the trumpet's apocalyptic song
went off. You're in the tree with Azarazel, and the windows shake and
the tree trunk rattles as something happens somewhere, as something dire happens. The
cups on the table jutter, The tea cups on the table jutter as the
shockwave travels out through it travels out through the woods. Oh what's that sound?
Oh that's not good. This place is rattling pretty hard. Thank you
kramil Uoka for that illuminating contribution. Well, well, well at the table,
at Ourzela's table, Mister Styx sits there with his feet up. Well,
well, well this brings us all back around again, doesn't it around?
To? What? What are you talking about? I think you have
to admit that you could probably use my help about Now is it time?
Is it time to finally give in? Is it time to finally bring this
story to its conclusion? Y'all want the barricade to show this little man the
door? Please do? Yeah? Who's this tour? Wait? Hold on,
I will not be manhandled. I am your only way into the Briar
Tower. Things are spiraling wildly out of control. You know this guy says
you no grudgingly were associated with him through someone else. Okay, I am
mist sticks O. No, I can get you into the r Yes,
he's dangling from a clothesline. Hold him out. Wait wait wait wait wait,
you're you're a fine deal maker yourself, My lady, how do you
know? I do lots of work with the other under week Listen, it's
time. Things are moving at an incredible pace. You must make your way
into the riot Tower now before things spiral anymore out of control. Okay,
this is not our show. We're just here because I don't know. I'm
Barricade's like winding up to like throw him comically out the door like a bultzer.
One of the windows just opens, like the enchanted house knows when someone's
getting bounced. Ladies, new friends kind of were deferring to your judgment.
I was instructed to give you guys, to give women more space. That's
what I'm doing. I'm here the instault here, you make you decide.
I usually count a new r Xenator to make the judgment calls. I just
complain about the plans I know, but what he is I know, but
what he's asking of us as a sacrifice for the entire group that Xenator has
ary specifically said no to the key, the key to the end of your
story. Be a queen rule, decide things for other people. Decide something
for yourself for once, barricade, please just be a girl boss, do
it? Y lean in flying He goes fine, as yeah, all right,
so Kathy, Yeah, what's the decision? Are you going to uh?
Are you going to use mister sticks to get into the briar tower?
Oh? God, this way. As he is ejected from the window.
As he is ejected from the window, Laveline sees literally her last chance at
reunite at Reunification and redemption sailing out the window, and just in her heart,
she accepts, and he hears that, and he goes very well and
snaps his fingers right before he breaches the threshold of the window and Laveline val
Xenator, Gwendolen and Martin are standing in the central entry chamber of the Briar
Tower. You didn't whoa, it wasn't me. You didn't wait? Did
what what happened? How do you think we got here? I don't know.
I've I've had some internal things going on, that's fair. It's been
a little messy outside the Briar Tower. You hear calliope and circus music.
No, not the circus again. Oh yeah, someone set a circus up
in the thorn grove outside the Briar Tower, says a small stout, little
goblin creature in the entryway. All right, Well, maybe the tower is
the safest place for us to be at the moment. Listen, we needed
to get into the tower. We were running out of time. And I
don't understand why we can't do the same thing that we did with all our
other problems and figure it out later. Great, I'm sold the tiny little
goblin creature looks down out the window. It kind of looks like the circus
is crawling up the side of the Briar Tower. That's weird. Jesus,
what did you get? Welcome new editions. You are now property of the
Briar Tower. Welcome. Hi, Oh my god, Hi, who are
you? We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other and the
rest of the eternity that you're going to be living here with us. Now,
let's get you cleaned and washed and ready for intake. They hit us
with that like powder, de lousing powder? What was that explosion? Looking
at do you guys like let on fire? There was a dragon and uh,
the dragon didn't do it though there was fire and like a nuke.
That wasn't it. Then I grew a tree. I'm exhausted. We had
to run on with a glorious Oh and my magical mind board has been broken.
But that circus outside, that is our buddy circus. I'm I can
feel him in there right now and I am holding him down good mind strength,
Yeah, given that I've been working on my mind. He's outside with
a giant circus. No, he's in He's in me. The circus is
flying away outside, and yet from out of a slice, from out of
a slice, in his forehead and eye peers out at you. Okay,
okay, okay, okay, yeah, this is what we're working with.
The entire kidnapping mission was. But the enemy is still right here, right
hello? So can we like? Notat? You? Are? Much worse?
Could it get? I don't know, I don't know what's going on.
I think he just works. I just need to clean you and braid
your hair and make you all pretty as your new acquisitions. You think we're
princesses, Well you are, and you are and you are and you are
and you are right, aren't you princesses? Yes? Yeah, well then
let's get you all guessie that you need to be made beautiful in time for
the sacrifice. See, we got here just in time. Master, I
call, I call to you. It is your servant, your herald,
ever loyal cabal. I have done as you asked. I have sowed chaos,
division, strife. I have kept their eyes everywhere but the place that
matters, so to sickness, anger war. I have darkened their hearts,
poisoned their minds. I have done all this, and I will do more
whatever you ask of me? What do you ask of me? Warm must
land world? I I did not realize. Are you sure the plan to
open the way to the bones? Could I not lay seats of corruption there
at the heart of the world. Could I not subvert the ritual of opening
find a way to Israel and the light or nocturn to reunite with the glorious
Horde? None ask the mouth. I am sorry, Master, I would
never question you. I simply do not understand the white tree. The white
tree will bloom and lay the seeds of the future. I will see it
done. But how can we be sure the tree will bloom despoiled and rotted?
What? What if hope remains my I see, yes, yes,
Master, they are here now, they are within the tower. I will
I will ensure every step is heartbreak, every floor reached is a hollowing.
This will become the legendary Tower of ordeals, and each inch will darken their
hearts. I will pull together all the pieces. I will not fail you,
my prince soon to be king of all dreams. N No, only
Arshadesaul Lorsus. I of course, how did I not see it a glorious
walks among them, such perfection. I am blind, but I will gladly
see to this ascension, this apotheosis. I will die willingly on the end
of this sword master, to return all realms to harmony, to crown the
rightful kings and queens of the realms. Within the first of thoughts. It
will be my great honor. So begame. It's the end, and to
think it was them all along. Thanks for listening to Could Have Been Heroes.
Production and editing by Aaron schoenrock theme song by Bo Hoover, and cover
art by me Robert Knutson. Could Have Been Heroes is an entirely independent podcast,
so if you like the show, please subscribe and review. For exclusive
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