1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,960 The mindset that you have to be with people that elevate you. It's not 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:08,560 about like what's in somebody's bank account, It's like that does that person make 3 00:00:08,679 --> 00:00:14,439 you better? When he left, I remember vividly being I mean, obviously 4 00:00:14,519 --> 00:00:19,160 I was devastated, but I remember vividly having a conversation with my sister where 5 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:29,960 my first thought was, am I ever going to get kissed again? Welcome 6 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:33,399 to another deep dive edition of the Chicks on the Right podcast. Before we 7 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,679 get into the nitty gritty of today's deep dive topic, which is going to 8 00:00:37,719 --> 00:00:44,280 be very very ddy and like relationship, ye, we need to talk about 9 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,679 the weather here in Indiana is always so weird, Like it'll be absolutely freezing 10 00:00:47,679 --> 00:00:50,000 one day and then seventy the next day. This is just the time of 11 00:00:50,079 --> 00:00:54,200 year, and I never know how that's going to impact the things outside, 12 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,520 right, the plants and the trees and the bushes and stuff outside. My 13 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,479 magnolia tree like get flowered and now every things dropping. And that's normal. 14 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,799 But like you know, weather is just very unpredictable in Indiana. And you 15 00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:07,560 know, I have my lilac tree right that I got from Fast Growing Trees 16 00:01:07,599 --> 00:01:11,079 dot Com. I also good, well not yet but like because it's not 17 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:15,120 time yet. But I got that two years ago. I've had it for 18 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:19,519 two seasons. The first when it first came it's just an itty bitty baby. 19 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,640 When I first got it was such I can't believe she's kept it alive, 20 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,400 you guys. Well, anyway, what I was going to tell everybody 21 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:30,519 is that the lilac tree the second year it flowered like I got actually two 22 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,000 lilac flowers that smelled so good, and we're so amazing, And so I 23 00:01:34,159 --> 00:01:38,519 just checked on it yesterday and even with the weather being as weird as it's 24 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:42,439 been, there's tiny, itty bitty you can tell that it's gonna leaf and 25 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:46,799 flower, and I'm so super stoked. And this is what's great about Fast 26 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:51,719 Growing Trees dot Com, so biggest online nursery in the United States. They've 27 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:56,680 got more than ten thousand different kinds of trees, two million, very very 28 00:01:56,719 --> 00:01:59,840 happy customers, of which we are both a part of that group. And 29 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:04,319 so right now they are offering a fifteen percent off discount to our audience. 30 00:02:04,359 --> 00:02:08,879 When you go to Fast Growingtrees dot Com and you use code Chicks, you 31 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:14,680 will get fifteen percent off your order so I hate to kick off today's show 32 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,240 on like a sad note. And some people who listen to our daily show 33 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:22,000 will already know this story. But when you and I were together in Nashville 34 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,479 last week, I got the news after one of our live streams, like 35 00:02:25,599 --> 00:02:30,159 right after one of our live streams on the Wednesday morning, that my son's 36 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:36,000 lacrosse coach had been killed in a car accident the night before. And it 37 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:40,960 was a really rough several days because he was, I mean just such a 38 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,080 force in all the kids' lives. He's been their coach, not just at 39 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:47,400 high school, but like since they were any biddies, you know, teaching 40 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:52,840 club lacrosse or coaching club lacrosse lacrosse. So they've known him and have worked 41 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,840 with him and have been inspired by him for years, for all of their 42 00:02:55,840 --> 00:03:00,400 formative years. And he was such an inspirational figure in the community. I 43 00:03:00,439 --> 00:03:02,560 mean, he was that guy. He was like the he was like that 44 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:07,439 perfect, beautiful, wonderful guy. Yeah right, I mean I didn't know. 45 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:13,599 I obviously didn't get to you know, I didn't know anything about him 46 00:03:13,719 --> 00:03:16,520 until except for the things that you told me. You know, because I 47 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:20,639 live when I lived in India, I lived fifty two miles away from you, 48 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,240 right, you know, so it wasn't but I, but man, 49 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:24,919 the Steff that you told me about him, And like he had just gotten 50 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:28,879 his master's degree, and he had won all these awards, and he was 51 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:34,680 just an unbelievable guy from a career perspective. But he was also an amazing 52 00:03:35,039 --> 00:03:38,759 husband, well and a recent one. So he had just gotten married. 53 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:45,199 Well in fact, so they he took my son's high school team to the 54 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:50,599 state championship, which they won back in early June of this past summer, 55 00:03:50,639 --> 00:03:53,120 and of course that was like a super emotional day for everybody, and it 56 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:59,240 was a fantastic day. My son actually was MVP of that state championship game, 57 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,680 which was an extra super exciting thing, and I just remember everybody celebrating 58 00:04:02,719 --> 00:04:06,240 with coach Jack on the field. It was just such this great moment. 59 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:12,159 And the following weekend he got married. So that happened just a couple months 60 00:04:12,159 --> 00:04:15,599 ago. Like you said, he finished his masters just a couple weeks before 61 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,160 he passed away, and so he had his he was just thirty one years 62 00:04:19,199 --> 00:04:24,480 old. His whole life was just unfolding in front of him, and he 63 00:04:24,519 --> 00:04:28,680 had everything going for him, this beautiful wife, this fantastic family, just 64 00:04:28,759 --> 00:04:32,680 a great team. Everything was perfect, you know, and then tragedy struck 65 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:38,399 and it's just senseless and awful and all of that to say, it's I've 66 00:04:38,519 --> 00:04:42,839 just been thinking about his wife a lot. After going to the service this 67 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,800 past weekend. His mom spoke, and she spoke, and both of those 68 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,680 I mean a lot of people spoke, but those two in particular were, 69 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:54,959 oh my gosh, just like excruciating to listen to. Both of them were 70 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:59,240 so courageous to get up and say the things and hold it together. His 71 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:04,600 mom was is just amazing, just such an incredible, strong, just amazing 72 00:05:04,639 --> 00:05:09,279 woman. And then when Bethany, his wife, got up to speak, 73 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,600 I mean, she was just a puddle of tears the entire time. And 74 00:05:12,639 --> 00:05:15,800 one of the things I remember her saying is how much they had both been 75 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:19,040 looking forward to having a little boy, like they always talked about having a 76 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:24,639 little boy together. And it's just heartbreaking, so heartbreaking, and so she's 77 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,879 been on my mind a lot. Now. I never met her, I 78 00:05:26,879 --> 00:05:30,079 didn't know her. I'm going to see her on Friday because the team is 79 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,680 going to be celebrated during the home football game. This weekend, so I 80 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,519 know she's going to be participating in that, and so I'll see her there. 81 00:05:39,519 --> 00:05:41,639 But I've just been thinking about her a lot. And then when I 82 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,439 was scrolling on TikTok the other day, I saw this video. And this 83 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,079 is a totally different circumstance, but I saw this video of a woman sobbing 84 00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:51,079 in her car and you and I are like constantly making fun of people on 85 00:05:51,079 --> 00:05:55,240 TikTok who are like crying and think I need a video on myself crying. 86 00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:58,240 But when you show you showed yeah you hear, Okay, you showed this 87 00:05:58,319 --> 00:06:00,319 to me, and I was like, this is yeah, this is totally 88 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:03,319 different. And I was affected by it too. And I'm usually not I'm 89 00:06:03,399 --> 00:06:09,199 usually well you quick crying, you know, but this was but I found 90 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:14,639 myself emotionally like, I this one kind of broke me. Yeah, because, 91 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,800 yeah, because I felt for this girl, and especially in light of 92 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,279 what happened last week. But I felt for her because I felt like if 93 00:06:21,319 --> 00:06:25,399 I were put in her shoes, I would feel the exact same way. 94 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,360 And I, yeah, there was just something about this that was different. 95 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:33,160 Yeah, and I'm glad it's gotten a huge reaction. So this girl is 96 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,720 talking in her car after a date, and she comes from divorce. I 97 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:40,759 don't know the background, I don't know the circumstances around her divorce, but 98 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:46,160 she's young and she had had, as she describes it, a whole ass 99 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:51,800 marriage, and so dating after having had a whole ass marriage is really really 100 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:56,079 difficult. And so the way that she described what it was like to be 101 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,839 on the state was so relatable, and I think that's why it's gone so 102 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,240 viral and why people have reacted the way they have. Let's share that, 103 00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:08,759 you guys, they were like tried to date after having like a whole ass 104 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:17,480 marriage. I don't know, you know how exhausting it is to like explain 105 00:07:17,639 --> 00:07:23,120 yourself, like who you are, even just like the basic things like what's 106 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:29,120 your favorite color? Or where are you from? Or what do your parents 107 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:38,199 do? It just feels so exhausting when you've had somebody who knew you for 108 00:07:38,279 --> 00:07:41,199 all the basic things, all the really hard things, all the part of 109 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:45,480 you, like every part of you that you've hidden from everybody else, somebody 110 00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:49,199 that knows you like that, and you didn't think you were ever gonna have 111 00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:54,240 to do that again, and now like re explaining yourself it's so exhausting. 112 00:07:54,360 --> 00:08:00,639 It's I don't want to answer your stupid questions. It's already like one person 113 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:07,079 that knows me everything about me. Oh I know, I just feel for 114 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:11,600 her. It totally sucks. So whether it was divorce or whether you know 115 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,319 she's a widow, it's like you could just feel the pain in her voice. 116 00:08:16,399 --> 00:08:22,279 And you know, we've had friends who they lost their husband or it's 117 00:08:22,439 --> 00:08:26,839 you know, significant other, and you know, they find themselves single and 118 00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:30,920 they're our age, they're in their fifties or in their sixties, and you 119 00:08:30,959 --> 00:08:33,399 and I have talked about that and it's like, okay, well what would 120 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:37,279 we do if we were in that position? And we have talked about that, 121 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,480 and it's like I know that my personal I'm like, I probably would 122 00:08:41,519 --> 00:08:46,240 not ever get married again. And part of me is like, well, 123 00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:50,720 it's it's because of the same reasons that she's talking about from a younger woman's 124 00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:54,240 perspective, where it's just exhausting. I would be exhausted. I would not 125 00:08:54,279 --> 00:08:58,320 be able to get out into the day. I just could not imagine this 126 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,840 age. Oh my god, at this I would just be like I can't, 127 00:09:01,919 --> 00:09:05,799 I cannot deal and and dating guys our age. It's like you just 128 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,399 don't know where some of these guys have been, Like, well they have 129 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:15,159 a whole Nobody doesn't have baggage at our age, right, I mean there's 130 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,600 just like when we're talking about history, like they are book full of history. 131 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,039 It's like a big ass book full of history. And so you're right, 132 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:24,799 and like the baggage is you're talking about like trunks and trunks full of 133 00:09:24,799 --> 00:09:28,720 baggage. So yeah, I just that would be exhausting and and I would 134 00:09:28,799 --> 00:09:31,720 just you know what it's as an older person, I would I would probably 135 00:09:31,759 --> 00:09:35,320 just be like, you know, I'll visit my best friend, and I 136 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,200 have my kids and I'm going to have a grandkid, and I just I 137 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:41,639 would find other things that I would do with my life that are fulfilling rather 138 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:46,559 than I would just and if I did find somebody that I maybe enjoyed, 139 00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:50,559 I probably wouldn't get married again, you know, because I and then there 140 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:54,120 would be a part of me. I think I told you this. I 141 00:09:54,120 --> 00:10:00,559 would I would feel so weird, like the inter being intimate with somebody because 142 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:03,519 I'd be like my husband is watching me, like he's like you know what 143 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:07,159 I mean, I know, I tell my good like it's just this weird 144 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,840 feeling. I would just be so weird it out, like, oh my 145 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:13,519 god, Greg is watching me, like from somewhere and he is haunting, 146 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,240 know, and he's haunted. Yeah, he's gonna haunt my ass from afore. 147 00:10:16,519 --> 00:10:18,320 So yeah, that's the thing. So I would be. But when 148 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,960 you're but younger, if I were thirty, I would be, you know, 149 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,759 I think I would be okay with moving on. It would be so 150 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,120 freaking hard, but I would do it. And that's why I think about 151 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:33,840 the sweet you know, the sweet, sweet young lady who lost you know, 152 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:39,080 that precious man, and I think I wish her so much happiness. 153 00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:43,759 I hope she finds another wonderful man. I hope she finds love again. 154 00:10:43,799 --> 00:10:46,480 I hope that she has all those sweet little boys that she wants to have, 155 00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:50,720 you know, I hoped. I wish that for her. My heart 156 00:10:50,759 --> 00:10:52,440 aches for her because I want that for her, and I you know, 157 00:10:52,759 --> 00:10:56,080 it just it makes me weepy just thinking about it, because when you're young, 158 00:10:56,159 --> 00:11:00,559 there's so much ahead of you, and they don't even so much of 159 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,879 their lives because they'd married. I can't remember if they've been together for like 160 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:09,639 seven or eight years, but it's somewhere around that. And so they spent 161 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,919 their their formative twenties together and now just like that, in the blink of 162 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:18,840 an eye, her entire world is different. And it's just excruciating. I 163 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:24,600 mean, it's just it's excruciating. It's excruciating too because so many young people 164 00:11:24,639 --> 00:11:28,320 now don't feel that way about marriage. Yeah, I mean, they don't 165 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,600 feel that way about relationships. They don't have that sense of, oh my 166 00:11:31,639 --> 00:11:35,799 gosh, I want to be with this person forever, and I want it 167 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,320 for the right reasons, you know what I mean. And I want to 168 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:41,799 have tons of babies and I you know, and I want to have this 169 00:11:41,919 --> 00:11:46,120 wonderful build this family. And it's because it's built on a foundation of love 170 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,240 and respect and all the right things, you know, all the right things. 171 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:54,679 We see so much garbage out there ye the world. It's like when 172 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:56,879 I see couples like that, I'm like, oh God, my heart just 173 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,879 breaks when stuff like this happens. Because they were they are such good people. 174 00:12:01,039 --> 00:12:03,480 Yeah. First, I have so many things from coach events because their 175 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:07,039 stuff is so amazing. Did you know, I know you do. But 176 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,879 in case people watching, I have never heard of Coach Defense. 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You will love this stuff. You will love it Coat defense 204 00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:01,519 dot com. You know what's interesting is because we when we had the conversation 205 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:05,000 this morning about what what would we do if something happened to our husbands right 206 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,679 now, and we both agreed, like it's just impossible to imagine wanting to 207 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:11,679 get back in the dating world at our age. However, I remember being 208 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:20,080 what was I twenty nine when my first husband said I can't deal with the 209 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:24,360 fact that we have a disabled son by and when he left, I remember 210 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:30,559 vividly being I mean, obviously I was devastated, but I remember vividly having 211 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:35,159 a conversation with my sister where my first thought was, am I ever going 212 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,440 to get kissed again? And I remember saying that to her and thinking who's 213 00:14:39,519 --> 00:14:45,159 gonna want me when I have a disabled child? Like who's going to want 214 00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:48,360 to deal with that level of baggage? And it was the it was like 215 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:54,399 one of my immediate thoughts at being left for you know, when he left. 216 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,960 And now it's like I that would not occur to me, Like if 217 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,159 if my husband now were to leave, or if something were to happen to 218 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,600 him and I found myself alone, I would never be worried. It's just 219 00:15:03,639 --> 00:15:07,720 amazing. Yeah, I would not care about that. And so it's amazing 220 00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:11,000 the shift in perspective as you ate totally, as you totally. And I 221 00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:15,960 remember after I got divorced the first time, thinking I will never get married 222 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,440 again. Really, I thought I would never ever get married because you didn't 223 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:22,480 let to, or because you worried that you wouldn't I just didn't think I 224 00:15:22,519 --> 00:15:26,519 would. I just thought to myself, I'm because I got divorced and I 225 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:30,159 was thirty. I mean, I was thirty one, thirty one. I 226 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,679 think I was thirty one, and I thought that was old. Really, 227 00:15:33,919 --> 00:15:37,440 I thought at the time, I thought thirty one was old, because when 228 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,639 you're at that age, you just have a different you do have a different 229 00:15:39,679 --> 00:15:43,759 mindset. I thought when I was thirty one, the thirty one, that 230 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:48,080 somebody would look at me and think, well, you're already thirty thirty one. 231 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,919 It's kind of it's a little bit older. And everybody else was already 232 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:54,000 established in their marriages, and they were already having kids, and at least 233 00:15:54,039 --> 00:15:56,399 the people that I knew, and I didn't have kids. In my first 234 00:15:56,679 --> 00:16:00,759 marriage, I was very you know, it was really an my career and 235 00:16:00,799 --> 00:16:03,720 all that kind of stuff, and so I just I thought, well, 236 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:07,039 you know, everybody else is already established, and I'll just I guess I'm 237 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,440 going to be like this spinster lady. Really, you know, I just 238 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:15,080 thought I'll just be single, you know. And then and then I you 239 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,600 know, when I met my now husband, he already had two children, 240 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:23,000 and it was just one of the and I never dreamed I would be you 241 00:16:23,039 --> 00:16:26,840 know, people's stepmother, and I never dreamed. It's just interesting how you 242 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:30,639 think you have, you go in with like this. I think I'll be 243 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,399 this way, and then God has different plans, you know, for how 244 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,759 the things I mean, And then look at you. It's like you ended 245 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:42,279 up with this amazing guy. It's you just never know what's going to happen, 246 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,960 right, Yeah, and you obviously were kissed again, right, I 247 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:52,120 was kissed, you know what I mean. Obviously, Yeah, So you 248 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:56,519 just you never know. I just dating is so different now than it used 249 00:16:56,519 --> 00:17:00,600 to be. It's really different. Yeah, And I mean, like speaking 250 00:17:00,639 --> 00:17:03,599 of careers, like there was just I saw a video a couple days ago 251 00:17:03,839 --> 00:17:12,160 of this girl who she she was demanding that she see the bank accounts of 252 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:17,400 the guys that she dates. And this is probably a girl I'm presumably she 253 00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:19,480 is also in her she's probably in her thirties. I'd imagine she's in her 254 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:23,599 thirties, and so I think I would have never I definitely wouldn't have done 255 00:17:23,599 --> 00:17:26,799 that when I was in my thirties. I wouldn't have done it. So 256 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:30,160 it also shows a shift of you know, the way things were when I 257 00:17:30,319 --> 00:17:34,079 was in my thirties to the way things are now, and I just look 258 00:17:34,079 --> 00:17:37,720 at this and I think, God, this is just it's so different. 259 00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:41,279 It's different than how I would than how I think now. I would never 260 00:17:41,319 --> 00:17:45,440 even do this now, Like if I were in the dating pool, even 261 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,599 if I were thirty, even if I were her age, I would never 262 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:52,400 think this way. But just the way that some of these girls approach dating 263 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:53,359 now, And it's like, who put this crap in their head? We 264 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:57,480 should play the video or just she's awful, Like trigger warning for people who 265 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:03,079 cannot stand vocal fry. Just prepare your ears. Oh my god, I'm 266 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:07,960 not joking. I have asked the last three dudes i've dated for their bank 267 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:11,559 account info on the first date. I don't judge people's actions. I look 268 00:18:11,599 --> 00:18:12,839 at the intention behind that, So like, why do you ask for that? 269 00:18:14,039 --> 00:18:17,279 Because I only want to date a wealthy guy that has money. Valles, 270 00:18:17,279 --> 00:18:18,359 You're getting straight to the point. I think. You know. I 271 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:23,039 have a job, I'm very successful, so I think I have everything right 272 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,440 to be like, Hi, are we on the same level or am I 273 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:33,039 wasting my time? Oh my god? I just yeah, gross, right, 274 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:37,079 I mean I just automatically am. I'm grossed out by that. Now 275 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:38,359 there are some people you'd be surprised. And the comments are like, she 276 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,000 has every right to ask that, she has every right, and she has 277 00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:47,279 every right to stay single like endlessly because I'm guessing there's a reason that she's 278 00:18:47,319 --> 00:18:49,359 still single and it has a lot to do with that. Yeah. And 279 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,880 the funny thing is is that the people who were saying she has every right 280 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,079 to ask that are women. M It's the women who are saying she's every 281 00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,319 right, all right, right, while those are the women, those are 282 00:19:00,319 --> 00:19:04,799 the women who are you know that that probably are are looking for the exact 283 00:19:04,799 --> 00:19:08,200 same thing, which is a sugar daddy. Yeah. And then then the 284 00:19:08,279 --> 00:19:12,240 men are like gross, like that is a red flag, keep her a 285 00:19:12,279 --> 00:19:17,759 million miles away from me. Gross. And I just I don't understand that 286 00:19:17,799 --> 00:19:21,519 mentality. I just don't. Because what happens when crap gets tough, what 287 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:26,519 happens when somebody gets cancer, what happens when you know, like just crap 288 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:30,519 hits the fan and life is is it just turns on a dime and it's 289 00:19:30,599 --> 00:19:34,880 unpredictable and you don't know what's going to happen, Like it's in sickness and 290 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,079 in health, well she would say it'd be a lot better to have somebody 291 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:42,519 rich. I mean, this is that? Is that what it's all about? 292 00:19:42,839 --> 00:19:45,440 Is this? It's like is that? Like? Is it a generational 293 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,480 thing? Maybe I probably shouldn't say it's a generational thing, because I'm sure 294 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:52,559 that there are a lot of women in our generation that would probably feel the 295 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:56,440 same way as that they just wanted security. But I just I just find 296 00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:00,599 that to be repulsive. It is repulsive. I mean, it's absolut you 297 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,279 know, it's funny. I remember when I got over the fact that my 298 00:20:03,319 --> 00:20:07,160 first husband left, which was pretty quickly, I must say, because I 299 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:11,880 mean the circumstances of him leaving showed his true colors in many ways, and 300 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,279 so it was obviously a blessing in disguise. But I remember thinking when I 301 00:20:15,319 --> 00:20:21,720 got to the point where I was interested in dating again, Like I never 302 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,720 wrote it down, but I had like in my mind sort of a mental 303 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:27,559 tick list. Well, this time around, I want a guy who understands 304 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,680 not my job specifically, but understands like the corporate world, who understand like 305 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,759 I thought, I wanted all of these things, and then I met my 306 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,839 now husband, who was none of those things. And I imagine if I 307 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:44,000 had put like a restriction, or if I had put on my tick list 308 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,240 he's got to have a certain level in his bank account, we would have 309 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,480 never gotten together, especially because that was so early on in both of our 310 00:20:51,559 --> 00:20:53,400 careers. And if I would have been like, he has to make a 311 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:57,640 certain amount of money, then we would not be together today. And so 312 00:20:57,759 --> 00:21:02,200 thank god I didn't have such a shallow just I mean, as soon as 313 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,160 I met him, I was like, Wow, he's an amazing storyteller. 314 00:21:04,319 --> 00:21:07,400 I love the way that he pulls out a chair for this girl at a 315 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:11,039 party, Like those were the things that immediately stood out to me, and 316 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,880 not like I wasn't thinking is he driving the right car? Does he have 317 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:21,279 the right bank account? I just think that's so vile. And I've always 318 00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:25,920 been of the mindset that you have to be with people that elevate you. 319 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:30,480 It's not about like what's in somebody's bank account, It's like that does that 320 00:21:30,559 --> 00:21:33,400 person make you better? I tell that to my daughter too. It's not 321 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:37,559 even just about boyfriends. It's about girlfriends too, Like, who show me 322 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:41,599 who is in your friend circle? And I'll show you who you are? 323 00:21:41,799 --> 00:21:44,720 Yeah, And It's like, show me who you're married to, and I'll 324 00:21:44,759 --> 00:21:48,240 show you who you are. I mean, like that is an it's I 325 00:21:48,279 --> 00:21:52,160 mean you and I are best friends. I mean I wouldn't be best friends 326 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,480 with you if you didn't make me a better person. Same and it's like 327 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,680 you we have elevated each other. I think over the years it's it wouldn't 328 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,480 work unless that was the case, right, And so I the same way 329 00:22:03,519 --> 00:22:07,839 about marriage. It's like you have to be you have to elevate one another, 330 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:08,960 you have to make each other better, you have to fill in the 331 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,000 blanks for one another. It's not about freaking money, right. I mean, 332 00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:15,559 money's nice, money is great. I'm not gonna listen. I'm a 333 00:22:15,599 --> 00:22:17,960 capitalist. I'm the first one to tell you I'm a I love money. 334 00:22:18,039 --> 00:22:19,519 Money's fantastic. But at the end of the day, it's like, if 335 00:22:19,559 --> 00:22:22,839 you're not filling in the blanks for one another, because I suck at a 336 00:22:22,839 --> 00:22:27,200 lot of things, he fills in the blanks in those places where I am 337 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:32,319 not good at some things, and he fills in those spaces, which is 338 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:36,319 great for me. And then you know when I there are people don't realize 339 00:22:36,599 --> 00:22:41,720 that about him because you know they there are certain things about your husband. 340 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,079 I'm sure that you're the same way I know you are because I know your 341 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:45,440 husband. But there are so many things about your husband that you know that 342 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,599 other people don't know, right, And so it's like there are days where 343 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,839 I'm having a really bad day and he knows exactly what to say to me 344 00:22:53,079 --> 00:22:57,319 to make sure that that day gets better, just like you do with me, 345 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,920 just like there's a small handful of people do with me. And those 346 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,079 are the people that you surround yourself with. And if you are not surrounding 347 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,559 yourself with those people, you need to find better people exactly, and don't 348 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:12,880 ask for their checking information, right my god, this is the thing. 349 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,000 It's like, the last thing I care about is how much money those people 350 00:23:17,039 --> 00:23:18,599 have in their bank account. It's what are you what are you doing to 351 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,400 elevate one Anoight? Okay, I have one more question for you before we 352 00:23:22,519 --> 00:23:26,720 like tie this all up with the bow. Okay. So there was a 353 00:23:26,759 --> 00:23:30,720 note from one of our chicks insiders, which you can join on Facebook if 354 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,759 you guys want to join. Those are your people Facebook insiders or our locals 355 00:23:33,759 --> 00:23:37,640 groups. Fantastic group of people. One of our insiders, I won't say 356 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,680 her name. But she was venting and she was asking about her son and 357 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,319 his fiance and they were getting married. They are getting married in September. 358 00:23:45,519 --> 00:23:49,079 And yesterday her son told her husband, listen, you're not going to like 359 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:55,400 this, but I am thinking about taking my fiances the girls last name. 360 00:23:55,839 --> 00:24:00,519 I'm seeing they're family. Yeah, so their family her family is large and 361 00:24:00,519 --> 00:24:03,359 there are lots of them with that name. Her family, this this woman 362 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:07,319 her their family is not that big. It's small. And their son is 363 00:24:07,319 --> 00:24:11,599 the only one that's going to carry on the last name and so, and 364 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,000 he still wants to take the wife's name. He's going to take the wife's 365 00:24:15,039 --> 00:24:17,920 name. And this is happening a lot. I see this a lot in 366 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,240 this generation. Like what do you think, like, what would happen if 367 00:24:21,319 --> 00:24:23,240 Jackson, your boy came home, he's like from college, He's like, 368 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,400 Mom, I love this chick so much. We're gonna get married. I'm 369 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:29,000 going to take her name. What would like, how would you feel about 370 00:24:29,079 --> 00:24:32,920 it? How would you feel about it? Because like in our family, 371 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,839 he would be the only one to carry on that day and that just would 372 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,799 make me really sad, right, And I don't understand, like listen. 373 00:24:40,839 --> 00:24:45,079 It's one thing because our oldest when she got married, she's the one that's 374 00:24:45,079 --> 00:24:48,200 having the baby here in the next like any day now, and she kept 375 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,720 her last name. She kept our name, and her husband kept his name. 376 00:24:52,799 --> 00:24:55,400 And she said it was you know, because of career whatever, so 377 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,119 they kept their last names. Now, I still like, when I send 378 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:02,960 out invitations for the baby shower, I used his last name because because I'm 379 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,839 really weird like that, I'm like mean or nein and so I did so 380 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,559 I did that because I'm traditional that she hasn't disowned me or anything. She'd 381 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,079 get pissed off, but she but I mean, I just kind of do 382 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,160 that because I'm like, you know, it's your husband. I feel like 383 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,319 at a respect, I just put his last name on the invitations. Nobody 384 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:18,640 got mad at me for it, but it is what it is. And 385 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,799 you know, they just kept their last names and they but she didn't force 386 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,039 him to take right, you know, her name, our name. I'm 387 00:25:26,039 --> 00:25:27,720 just curious. I just thought that was really interesting. But a lot more 388 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,319 people are doing that. I just find it interesting. That's another thing that 389 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,960 is happening. Just something to put out therefore people to comment, like, 390 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:40,359 especially like on the Apple podcast platform. Comment if you're somebody that has experienced 391 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,720 that or has reasons for it that you'd like to share. I would love 392 00:25:42,799 --> 00:25:47,680 to learn more about the reasons that people are doing that these days. Very 393 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,160 curious too, because I don't understand it. Because here's the thing is that 394 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,920 I don't know if it's a feminist thing. If it's a feminist thing. 395 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:59,079 Something she needs to understand is that that is her grandfather's name. Yeah, 396 00:25:59,319 --> 00:26:02,920 so it doesn't make any sense, right, I mean, it came from 397 00:26:03,599 --> 00:26:07,920 it came from a dude. Came from a dude anyways, all right, 398 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,279 So that's that. I just wanted to pose that. But yes, comment 399 00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,519 if you can. We'd love to hear from you, and good talk, 400 00:26:15,039 --> 00:26:18,599 good time everybody. We're gonna do it next week. You guys, have 401 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,279 a wonderful week. Until next time, check us out. Make sure you subscribed.