WEBVTT 1 00:00:14.119 --> 00:00:22.320 Not far. What's up, positive bitches? How are we doing today? 2 00:00:22.600 --> 00:00:26.000 If you're hearing this episode, you are meant to be here, So keep 3 00:00:26.199 --> 00:00:31.839 listening on that bitch is positive. Sometimes we might laugh, other times we 4 00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:36.920 might cry, but we will always leave feeling empowered to be that positive bitch, 5 00:00:37.439 --> 00:00:43.479 that positive babe in total connection with herself. We are all about getting 6 00:00:43.479 --> 00:00:47.039 connected to yourself, your own body, and your own voice, so you 7 00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:51.799 can align with your most magnetic frequency. You can live with ease, get 8 00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:58.159 anyone anything, and ultimately feel liberated in your own skin. Last week, 9 00:00:58.200 --> 00:01:02.640 I asked you on Instagram what do you want here on podcast episodes? And 10 00:01:02.840 --> 00:01:10.319 I got so many questions about situation ships and failed dreams. So there is 11 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:17.439 actually a really interesting connection I find between situation ships and failed ventures. And 12 00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:21.040 that's what we're going to talk about today. This can apply to you whether 13 00:01:21.079 --> 00:01:25.719 you're going through a situation ship breakup, a friendship breakup, or you just 14 00:01:25.799 --> 00:01:30.480 didn't get that interview that you really wanted. Even if none of these resonate, 15 00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:33.799 just hold on because there are so much we're going to talk about. 16 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:37.840 And if you found this podcast and you are listening, there's something in here. 17 00:01:37.879 --> 00:01:42.239 There's a golden nugget for you to hear your angels, your guides have 18 00:01:42.319 --> 00:01:45.599 brought you here today. It's an honor to be here with you. But 19 00:01:45.719 --> 00:01:49.599 before we get into it, a couple of announcements. If you're not following 20 00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:57.480 me at vib in with CC on Instagram and TikTok that's v Ibi n with 21 00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:02.000 ci CI, sure to follow me there for daily tips and tricks on how 22 00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:07.319 to become your most magnetic self. If you want to follow that Bitch is 23 00:02:07.360 --> 00:02:12.599 Positive on Instagram, that is the account that is linked to this podcast, 24 00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:16.120 and it's at that Bitch is Positive. I will link all the links in 25 00:02:16.120 --> 00:02:19.879 the show notes so you don't have to go too far to find them. 26 00:02:20.400 --> 00:02:24.840 If you are going through a breakup like what we're talking about today, a 27 00:02:24.919 --> 00:02:30.639 situationship breakup, any sort of friendship breakup, join the twenty one day Breakup 28 00:02:30.680 --> 00:02:35.439 Glow Up Challenge. Healing has nothing to do with time. It has to 29 00:02:35.479 --> 00:02:38.319 do with what you do with your time. Another tool that I have that 30 00:02:38.360 --> 00:02:44.360 will really help you is my calling your Power Back Workbook. I want to 31 00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:47.759 read you a recent DM I got from someone who has been using the workbook. 32 00:02:49.159 --> 00:02:52.639 They said, Hey, Stacey, I purchased You're calling your power back 33 00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:55.400 guide and am on day three of the exercise. The first two days, 34 00:02:55.400 --> 00:02:59.840 I release so much pain and I cried a ton letting go of someone who 35 00:03:00.039 --> 00:03:02.080 I was having a hard time closing the door on. I was able to 36 00:03:02.080 --> 00:03:07.240 get the strength and confidence to block him. I muted him months ago, 37 00:03:07.599 --> 00:03:12.319 but he didn't. But he didn't and would watch all of my stories immediately, 38 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:15.759 so it was a massive energy drain on me. Today I feel so 39 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:19.120 much better, no tears, no sadness, just ready to get myself up 40 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:22.120 on the pedestal. It's super tough for me, but I know your guy 41 00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:24.240 will really help me. Each time I read it over, it's so empowering. 42 00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:29.240 Thank you so much. It's actually unreal the transformation. I was in 43 00:03:29.240 --> 00:03:31.759 the pits over the loss, and now I'm so calm and collected and think 44 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:36.280 about a future without them and feel fine. I can't wait to keep using 45 00:03:36.280 --> 00:03:39.360 your tips and practices. The emotional relief alone is worth so much. It 46 00:03:39.360 --> 00:03:44.120 makes me want to cry when I read messages like this because I get them 47 00:03:44.120 --> 00:03:49.439 all day. But I remember being that girl in that pain, And if 48 00:03:49.479 --> 00:03:53.520 you're in that pain, you don't need to suffer this intensely. You can 49 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:59.039 choose to pick yourself back up and join the twenty one day Break Up Globe 50 00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:02.319 Challenge. Get the Calling Your Power Back Workbook. It's eleven dollars. I 51 00:04:02.439 --> 00:04:06.680 made it eleven dollars purposely so as many people as possible could get their hands 52 00:04:06.719 --> 00:04:12.039 on it. You don't need to suffer for this long. You don't need 53 00:04:12.080 --> 00:04:15.360 to suffer anymore. You can change your life, but you have to use 54 00:04:15.399 --> 00:04:20.240 your own mind, your own conscious free will to do so. I will 55 00:04:20.279 --> 00:04:25.600 link again everything in the show notes. Last, but not least, if 56 00:04:25.600 --> 00:04:30.240 you would like more intimate guidance by me, you can always DM me at 57 00:04:30.600 --> 00:04:33.439 Biman with CC to talk about my one on one services and we can talk 58 00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:39.680 there about how I can help you get to that most magnetic timeline. Without 59 00:04:39.720 --> 00:04:46.480 further ado, let's get into today's episode. So let's talk about these short 60 00:04:46.680 --> 00:04:51.399 lived loves and these broken dreams that all of us have felt at least once 61 00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:57.439 in our life. The thing about situationships that I think are so hard for 62 00:04:57.439 --> 00:05:01.560 people to get over one it's the self gas lighting that we've been doing. 63 00:05:02.519 --> 00:05:05.000 Are they into me? Are they not? No? I'm just crazy. 64 00:05:05.120 --> 00:05:08.720 No, it's my fault no, I should be better. What's wrong with 65 00:05:08.759 --> 00:05:13.600 me? I think there comes a point where all of those questions and we 66 00:05:13.680 --> 00:05:16.120 know if we don't ask the right questions, we can't get the right answers 67 00:05:16.639 --> 00:05:19.759 asking ourselves what's wrong with me? Let me change this? Okay? Does 68 00:05:19.800 --> 00:05:21.680 he like me? Now? Okay? No, I don't think he does. 69 00:05:21.720 --> 00:05:26.360 Okay, it's my fault. There's something wrong with me. That self 70 00:05:26.399 --> 00:05:30.800 gas lighting burns us out, and there comes a point in time where we've 71 00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:34.800 guess let ourselves. We're just on fire at this point, and it still 72 00:05:34.879 --> 00:05:41.040 hasn't worked to get that person's attention. And we know the reason that is 73 00:05:41.199 --> 00:05:49.040 is because that self gaslighting is really just energetically chasing that situationship partner. It 74 00:05:49.079 --> 00:05:54.000 gets so messy internally, and we're so in fight or flight that we can't 75 00:05:54.000 --> 00:05:58.600 get any clarity. And eventually our friends get tired of hearing about it, 76 00:05:58.800 --> 00:06:01.600 about the guy, the girl, or the situation ship or the interview that 77 00:06:01.639 --> 00:06:06.120 we didn't get. Eventually, our family gets tired about it. Eventually everyone 78 00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:12.120 else is over it, but we're not. And I think the reason that 79 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:16.639 people get tired of it is because they're not seeing what you felt. They're 80 00:06:16.639 --> 00:06:20.639 not able to feel what you felt. So one, it's yeah, we 81 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:25.480 guess let ourselves for a really long time and now we're just fucking depleted and 82 00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:30.480 fucking exhausted. The other part of this is our friends will say, well, 83 00:06:30.519 --> 00:06:34.120 you know, you weren't even really dating. You didn't even have a 84 00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:39.040 label. How long did you date? Was it like a week? Was 85 00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:42.720 it a month? I mean, were you even dating? He kind of 86 00:06:42.759 --> 00:06:47.000 just like saw you when he wanted to. Because they didn't feel the emotion 87 00:06:47.079 --> 00:06:51.040 of the experience, they're not going to validate it. They're not going to 88 00:06:51.120 --> 00:06:56.399 be able to see what you went through. The only person you understand everything 89 00:06:56.439 --> 00:07:00.240 you went through is you. You're the only person living inside of your own 90 00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:03.959 body. You're the only person who understands everything you've seen and felt. And 91 00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:08.879 most of us don't even understand what we're feeling and seeing and hearing. We're 92 00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:13.879 just experiencing it in the moment. I think that when our friends starts saying, 93 00:07:13.879 --> 00:07:16.040 well, you know, you weren't really together for that long, or 94 00:07:16.079 --> 00:07:21.199 you know you weren't even really in a relationship, that just further gaslights what 95 00:07:21.240 --> 00:07:26.879 we have felt. And it's not our friend's fault. It's not like they're 96 00:07:26.959 --> 00:07:30.079 evil or they did something or they're trying to do something. It's that they 97 00:07:30.120 --> 00:07:34.160 probably can only meet you as deep as they have met themselves, and if 98 00:07:34.160 --> 00:07:36.560 they don't know how to go there, they don't know how to go there. 99 00:07:36.639 --> 00:07:40.439 And that's why you hire people like me or a therapist, or you 100 00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:45.279 go to an older, wiser adult hopefully if that is accessible to you. 101 00:07:46.439 --> 00:07:53.439 What I think is really the worst thing about failed interviews or ventures or business 102 00:07:53.720 --> 00:07:59.079 projects or situationships is the story we created in our head about it and the 103 00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:03.240 disappointment we have to face because while we're in this situation ship, we're thinking, 104 00:08:03.319 --> 00:08:07.160 Okay, then we're gonna get together, and then we're gonna get married, 105 00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:09.040 and then we're gonna have these kids. While we're building up this dream 106 00:08:09.120 --> 00:08:13.959 project that maybe when sideways, we're thinking, I'm going to do it every 107 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:16.199 day and it's gonna make me, you know, fifty thousand a month, 108 00:08:16.360 --> 00:08:20.720 and I'm really going to be so successful and I'm going to be Informed magazine 109 00:08:20.759 --> 00:08:24.360 and I'm going to do this. The stories we're telling in our head, 110 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:31.360 oftentimes are what gives us the biggest disappointment because we weren't paying attention to what 111 00:08:31.440 --> 00:08:37.440 was going on externally, we weren't even thinking about it, and internally we 112 00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:41.559 were doing the right thing by intending really positive things about our life. We 113 00:08:41.559 --> 00:08:48.320 were positively intending I'm going to have this beautiful, beautiful business or this beautiful, 114 00:08:48.360 --> 00:08:50.879 beautiful relationship. That was the right thing to do. You know, 115 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:54.399 they tell us focus on reality because they didn't know we were the creators of 116 00:08:54.440 --> 00:09:00.679 it. Where did we go wrong? We didn't marry our intel pensions with 117 00:09:00.759 --> 00:09:03.559 our emotions, so a lot of us were thinking, Oh, I'm going 118 00:09:03.600 --> 00:09:07.399 to have this beautiful relationship and we're gonna do this and this and this, 119 00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:09.759 and then we're like, wait, wait will I. What we end up 120 00:09:09.759 --> 00:09:18.480 doing is marrying that positive intention with a negative emotion. So what happens our 121 00:09:18.639 --> 00:09:22.000 positive intention, Our mind is going in one direction, but our heart is 122 00:09:22.039 --> 00:09:26.320 going into another. We need head and heart coherence. So if you were 123 00:09:26.399 --> 00:09:30.399 positively thinking about the relationship or the job venture, oh yeah, it's gonna 124 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:31.840 happen. It's gonna happen. And we built up this story in our head, 125 00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:35.720 but every time we thought about it, we started feeling, oh God, 126 00:09:35.759 --> 00:09:39.879 what if it doesn't happen. That is not head and heart coherent. 127 00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:43.440 That is your head and your heart into opposite directions, and that's when we 128 00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:48.399 block our own manifestations. It's frustrating for us because not only have we gas 129 00:09:48.440 --> 00:09:52.080 let ourselves for so long, now our friends can't see the pain that we're 130 00:09:52.120 --> 00:09:56.240 in because maybe they're too young, or they don't understand, or they haven't 131 00:09:56.279 --> 00:10:01.960 felt it themselves, or maybe they just can't go there. And then another 132 00:10:01.080 --> 00:10:05.720 level is we built up this huge thing in our head. While we were 133 00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:09.600 dating or while we were creating this project, we weren't just present. We 134 00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:11.799 were thinking about all the other areas of our life. It was going to 135 00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:15.879 effect. We were thinking about, oh my god, it's going to give 136 00:10:15.919 --> 00:10:18.200 me this and that and this and that and this and that. And while 137 00:10:18.279 --> 00:10:22.360 that was great we were doing that, we end up breaking our own hearts. 138 00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:26.720 A lot of people will tell me I got played. I'm like, 139 00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:30.000 wait, did you though? What happened? And they'll say, well, 140 00:10:30.039 --> 00:10:31.279 you know, he would call me one day and not the knacks, and 141 00:10:31.440 --> 00:10:35.440 he would say he was going to be there but then not show up and 142 00:10:35.559 --> 00:10:41.000 he was kind of cheap also, And I say, did he play you? 143 00:10:41.639 --> 00:10:43.840 Or did you play yourself? Here? Because to me, there was 144 00:10:43.919 --> 00:10:48.679 no green flags here. There was no consistency here, there was no I 145 00:10:48.799 --> 00:10:52.120 want you, I'm choosing you, and I'm going to put effort behind that 146 00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:56.039 that was not there. A lot of us are playing ourselves because we're getting 147 00:10:56.080 --> 00:11:00.799 lost in our head and we're not marrying it with emotion, and then we're 148 00:11:00.799 --> 00:11:03.879 going to our friends for validation and they're not giving it to us. And 149 00:11:03.960 --> 00:11:09.240 I really think it's just it's every area of your life starts to crumble in 150 00:11:09.320 --> 00:11:13.159 on you. That's what happens, and that's why it feels so fucking heartbreaking, 151 00:11:13.639 --> 00:11:16.480 because in our head it was going in one direction and now it's not. 152 00:11:18.399 --> 00:11:20.360 Our friends can't really see the picture, our family can't really see the 153 00:11:20.399 --> 00:11:24.919 picture, or they're tired of hearing us talk about it, and we kind 154 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:31.240 of feel blindsided with healing. This is what you have to understand. And 155 00:11:31.279 --> 00:11:35.440 I say this with my whole heart. I said last week, I love 156 00:11:35.480 --> 00:11:37.679 you. I will sit there, I'll hold your hand, I'll cry with 157 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:39.919 you, but I'm also going to kick your ass. And that's just the 158 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:43.200 truth. I'm not going to let you fuck things up for yourself. If 159 00:11:43.320 --> 00:11:50.519 you are still crying, still hurting, not able to move forward at all 160 00:11:52.159 --> 00:11:58.240 going in circles spiraling daily, and you keep repeating the same actions, the 161 00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:03.759 same thoughts, in the same emotions. You need to hear this. There's 162 00:12:03.799 --> 00:12:09.000 a difference between a hurting mindset and a healing mindset. If you're thinking, 163 00:12:09.480 --> 00:12:16.840 talking, acting it out, reflecting on, which equals being hurt daily, 164 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:22.639 you're going to keep being hurt after a breakup or a failed interview. We're 165 00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:28.320 in a hurting mindset, and there's nothing wrong with immediately feeling pain from a 166 00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:33.559 situation that you didn't like how it unfolded. The problem arises when we get 167 00:12:33.679 --> 00:12:37.639 stuck in a hurting mindset, a hurting mindset, that is when we're thinking, 168 00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:41.720 we're talking about, we're reflecting on, we're contemplating. We are obsessed 169 00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:46.200 with our hurt, so day in and day out, we are focusing on 170 00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:50.039 the hurt, and that's where all of our energy is going. We have 171 00:12:50.120 --> 00:12:54.159 to understand pain is unavoidable. We're all going to have pain. That contrast 172 00:12:54.279 --> 00:13:00.240 leads to clarification. However, we create our own suffering when we want to 173 00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:05.440 allow ourselves to exit the hurting mindset. There's that difference between a healing mindset 174 00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:11.080 and a hurting mindset. If you want to exit you're hurting mindset, you 175 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:15.399 have to give yourself permission to get the fuck out of this loop of thinking, 176 00:13:15.759 --> 00:13:20.159 talking about it, feeling about it, reflecting about it, obsessing about 177 00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:24.080 your hurt. If you obsess about your hurt, you will keep feeling that 178 00:13:24.240 --> 00:13:28.919 hurt. If you want to heal, you have to enter into a healing 179 00:13:28.080 --> 00:13:35.480 mindset where you're thinking about your feeling about, you're talking about, you're contemplating 180 00:13:35.519 --> 00:13:39.879 about, You're consuming healing media. You're not listening to those sad songs anymore 181 00:13:39.960 --> 00:13:45.200 because you decided with your own free will that you have to change, and 182 00:13:45.240 --> 00:13:48.960 the way to do that is to start altering what you're thinking about, what 183 00:13:48.039 --> 00:13:52.799 you're feeling about, and what you're consuming. Where focus goes, energy flows. 184 00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:56.440 If you keep thinking about, and feeling about and talking about your hurt, 185 00:13:56.600 --> 00:14:03.399 you're gonna feel hurt continuously. This is all about baby steps. Think 186 00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:07.679 about your life as a marathon. We're not trying to just bust through this 187 00:14:07.759 --> 00:14:13.600 bitch. Okay, no, we're taking baby steps. But with these baby 188 00:14:13.679 --> 00:14:18.480 steps, we want to start to change everything, everything, even down to 189 00:14:18.559 --> 00:14:22.919 what you wear. If wearing the same sweatsuit that you've been wearing every single 190 00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:26.080 day reminds you of your ex. Take that shit off and get a little 191 00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:31.200 bit of a cuter, cuter sweatsuit. That's it. When I was trying 192 00:14:31.240 --> 00:14:35.279 to release weight, I literally said to myself, I need cuter clothes so 193 00:14:35.320 --> 00:14:41.080 I feel better in what I'm doing. And everything is vibration, so even 194 00:14:41.399 --> 00:14:45.840 your clothing is vibration. If you're wearing clothes that don't make you feel good, 195 00:14:45.879 --> 00:14:48.679 your sweats don't make you feel good, change your sweats, don't wear 196 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:52.960 those anymore. If whatever you're doing makes you feel crappy, then change what 197 00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:56.840 it is, from how you're thinking, from how you're feeling, from what 198 00:14:56.879 --> 00:15:01.879 you're wearing, and even what you're eating every because everything is energy. So 199 00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:07.039 if everything is feeling terrible, let's start changing it from a hurting mindset from 200 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:11.440 what we've been doing to what we can be doing, what is possible for 201 00:15:11.559 --> 00:15:16.840 us. We're going to start changing into a healing mindset. That is step 202 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:20.360 one. Telling yourself, I'm not going to keep thinking and focusing on and 203 00:15:20.399 --> 00:15:24.679 talking about to my friends about the hurt, because that is just going to 204 00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:28.759 make me hurt more. I'm going to start talking about my healing. I'm 205 00:15:28.759 --> 00:15:31.840 going to get excited about this new yoga class. I'm going to get excited 206 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:35.480 about cooking. I'm going to get excited about going on this interview that I 207 00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:39.639 never thought I could. And it's the same thing with a failed business venture, 208 00:15:39.720 --> 00:15:43.120 business project, or interview. First of all, you know that I 209 00:15:43.159 --> 00:15:46.399 don't actually believe in failure because everything is data, and if you learned what 210 00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:52.279 didn't work, it also means you are one step closer to understanding what does 211 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:56.440 work with failure. Don't see it as failure, don't see it as a 212 00:15:56.600 --> 00:16:03.320 way from success. See it as a step towards success, because that is 213 00:16:03.399 --> 00:16:07.360 what it is. You can't let that ship get you down. Get out 214 00:16:07.399 --> 00:16:10.840 of that hurting mindset of I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, 215 00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:14.320 and get into a healing mindset. Okay, I know it doesn't work, 216 00:16:14.480 --> 00:16:18.600 Okay, that's not for me. Because divine it's divine protection. If it's 217 00:16:18.639 --> 00:16:22.799 rejection, it's divine protection and redirection. Get into a healing mindset. Ask 218 00:16:22.840 --> 00:16:26.480 yourself, am I in a hurting mindset? Or am I in a healing 219 00:16:26.519 --> 00:16:30.240 mindset? Because a hurting mindset is going to lead me to more pain, 220 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:36.240 more suffering, more hurting, But if I ask myself the right questions, 221 00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:38.519 like what did I learn? What can I do better? I'm going to 222 00:16:38.600 --> 00:16:44.879 start to get into a healing mindset. As we go through different things you 223 00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:49.720 can do to heal from situationships, or a failed business venture. We're going 224 00:16:49.799 --> 00:16:55.679 to talk about how to enter into a healing mindset, but the foundation is 225 00:16:55.720 --> 00:17:00.360 just understanding that you're probably not yet in that healing mindset. One thing you 226 00:17:00.440 --> 00:17:04.880 have to do to get into a healing mindset is stop looking outside of yourself 227 00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:11.039 for validation. They don't know what you felt, they don't understand what you're 228 00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:15.200 going through. What do you want when you're going to them for validation? 229 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:18.920 Is it you want to feel closeness? Is it you want intimacy? Is 230 00:17:18.920 --> 00:17:22.079 it you want someone to tell you you're pretty? Do you just want general 231 00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:26.680 validation? How can you give yourself that validation or what you're looking for? 232 00:17:26.759 --> 00:17:30.519 Out of your family and your friends? They might just not be capable of 233 00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:34.119 giving you what you need to hear or what you need to feel. So 234 00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:37.359 you need to ask yourself, what am I looking for? How can I 235 00:17:37.400 --> 00:17:42.400 give it to myself? I want you to understand, by the way, 236 00:17:42.680 --> 00:17:49.119 if you experience really tense emotions for someone that was fucking real. Those are 237 00:17:49.319 --> 00:17:56.079 your emotions. Emotions are not always fact, but they're valid. They're not 238 00:17:56.160 --> 00:18:00.680 always based in some truth, but they're valid. You do have to see 239 00:18:00.759 --> 00:18:04.400 your feelings as valid. They were your experience. What is life without emotions? 240 00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:08.400 Think about it. Imagine being a human without any emotions? What even 241 00:18:08.480 --> 00:18:12.400 would that be? I don't even understand that concept. I don't understand it. 242 00:18:12.720 --> 00:18:19.359 Just no, our emotions, our feelings were gifted to us. Validate 243 00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:23.799 that you had them, because if other people aren't going to do it, 244 00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:29.079 you have to do it for yourself. And when we're in a healing mindset, 245 00:18:29.119 --> 00:18:33.519 giving ourself validation is a habit that we hold close to our heart. 246 00:18:33.920 --> 00:18:37.359 It's a habit that we do often. It's not something we take lightly. 247 00:18:38.519 --> 00:18:42.920 What do I want? How can I give it to myself? Understand, 248 00:18:44.119 --> 00:18:48.720 you're the one who felt that deep love, that deep wanting for that person 249 00:18:48.519 --> 00:18:52.759 or that job or that project. You're the one who felt that deeply. 250 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:56.880 So you're the one who has to tend to your own wounds. If you 251 00:18:56.960 --> 00:19:00.680 have friends and family who can be therefore you great, But if they can't, 252 00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:06.799 you have to tend to your own wounds on steroids. You really have 253 00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:10.119 to be there for yourself, and how do you be there for yourself? 254 00:19:10.119 --> 00:19:12.799 By asking yourself, what is it that I need? Do I need just 255 00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:18.279 some space to get connected to myself. Maybe I should journal. Maybe I 256 00:19:18.279 --> 00:19:22.240 should take a walk without any music or without a podcast and just listen to 257 00:19:22.279 --> 00:19:26.400 my own thoughts. Maybe I should make something, whether it's a song or 258 00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:30.799 a dance. How can I connect to me? And just start asking yourself 259 00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:37.079 those conscious questions and you'll give yourself an answer what you want. And when 260 00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:41.039 you give yourself your own validation, it's so powerful because you feel so liberated. 261 00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:45.759 You realize, you know what, I don't need fifty thousand different people 262 00:19:45.759 --> 00:19:48.960 to understand my experience. I'm the one feeling my experience, and I'm the 263 00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:56.000 one who can give myself the feelings that I'm looking for. Allow yourself to 264 00:19:56.119 --> 00:19:59.119 feel those feelings. Allow yourself to give a fuck. I think a lot 265 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:02.440 of us are trying to say, you know whatever, he was just a 266 00:20:02.519 --> 00:20:08.160 situation ship. I don't give a fuck. I'm fine, Like h I 267 00:20:08.279 --> 00:20:12.440 literally have a pinned tweet on my Twitter. Let me just get that up 268 00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:18.400 for you, because I just think it's really important that we talk about this 269 00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:23.839 asap. My pinned tweet for no reason at all is I don't know who 270 00:20:23.880 --> 00:20:27.680 needs to hear this. But having no emotions is not a flex. It's 271 00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:33.880 a sign of trauma. Telling yourself that you're fine and you don't feel anything 272 00:20:33.319 --> 00:20:40.400 and you're all dandy when you're not. What are we doing? What are 273 00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:45.359 we doing? Pushing down your emotions never solved releasing your emotions. It just 274 00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:52.200 makes them become that scary monster underneath the bed. Avoiding your emotions doesn't release 275 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:55.920 them, and it doesn't get rid of them. It makes them the skeletons 276 00:20:55.960 --> 00:21:00.799 in your closet. It makes you weaker when you don't look get your own 277 00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:04.400 emotions and what you're going through. It makes you weaker because now you're going 278 00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:07.480 out in the world and you have so many triggers and everything so spiky, 279 00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:11.480 and you can't even operate because you have so many skeletons in your closet that 280 00:21:11.559 --> 00:21:15.759 God forbid one of them is poked by something out in the world, you 281 00:21:15.799 --> 00:21:21.680 will lose your ship. Allow yourself to give a fuck if you did, 282 00:21:22.119 --> 00:21:26.119 if you really like this person, Allow yourself to be honest with yourself, 283 00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:30.119 to be in a hurting mindset would be to say I'm fine, I don't 284 00:21:30.119 --> 00:21:34.400 need anything like no, you, what are we doing that for? No. 285 00:21:36.039 --> 00:21:40.079 To be in a healing mindset is to say I really liked that person, 286 00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:44.359 and even if the version of them I liked was completely made up in 287 00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:48.680 my own head, I had a real experience with that completely made up version 288 00:21:48.680 --> 00:21:52.000 in my head, and I really felt for that version in my own head, 289 00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:56.039 and I take responsibility for it. But that shit fucking hurts, and 290 00:21:56.119 --> 00:22:00.480 I'm going to give myself a minute to really feel that. Allow yourself to 291 00:22:00.519 --> 00:22:06.400 feel it. It's valid. If you experienced it's valid. Does it mean 292 00:22:06.440 --> 00:22:08.799 it's true and you know based in fact? I'm no, not really, 293 00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:14.319 not necessarily, But did you experience it? Is it valid? Yes? 294 00:22:14.599 --> 00:22:18.000 If you have a fearful thought about going after your dream, is that fear 295 00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:22.240 true? Is it fact? No? But is it valid? Yeah, 296 00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:23.720 Yeah, it's valid. You never did this before. It's new. It 297 00:22:23.799 --> 00:22:26.599 might be a little bit different, it might be a little bit scary, 298 00:22:26.680 --> 00:22:33.880 but you can still do it. A healing mindset is giving ourselves validation, 299 00:22:33.039 --> 00:22:40.680 but also allowing ourselves to feel what it is we need to feel. The 300 00:22:40.799 --> 00:22:47.039 next part of being in a healing mindset is using these emotions as momentum. 301 00:22:47.880 --> 00:22:53.640 Emotion stems from a Latin term that means energy, emotion emotions. Really it's 302 00:22:53.680 --> 00:22:57.480 just energy. How you use it is up to you. We want to 303 00:22:57.599 --> 00:23:03.279 use our emotions to our advantage so they don't use us. If we went 304 00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:08.599 on fifteen job interviews and every single one of them was turned down, We're 305 00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:18.599 gonna use all of that angsty energy to build an even better portfolio LinkedIn create 306 00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:22.519 maybe a side hustle. Use all of that energy. You can call it 307 00:23:22.599 --> 00:23:26.559 pain, you can call it hurt, but at the end of the day, 308 00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:30.400 it's fucking energy. Use that energy to start a TikTok, to start 309 00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:33.119 a YouTube, to start a side hustle, to finally sell that jewelry on 310 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:38.759 Etsy. Maybe you're being pushed to start that business of your dreams. Maybe 311 00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:44.079 you're being pushed to not be a nine to five five or I can't even 312 00:23:44.119 --> 00:23:45.880 say it. My body won't even let me say nine to five la, 313 00:23:47.200 --> 00:23:51.400 I won't even let me say it. It's the same way where I'm in 314 00:23:51.559 --> 00:23:55.359 Florata right now, and I can't just say Florida like I have to say 315 00:23:55.680 --> 00:24:00.759 Florada when I try to say Florida. It's like, so Florida. I 316 00:24:00.839 --> 00:24:04.400 can't. I don't like it. It just sounds better as Florata. Anyway, 317 00:24:04.440 --> 00:24:10.839 that's completely neither here nor there anyway. Use your emotions as momentum. 318 00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:15.079 When I was going through a breakup, I was so upset every single day, 319 00:24:15.160 --> 00:24:17.519 crying at night, crying in the morning, crying at night, crying 320 00:24:17.519 --> 00:24:18.799 in the morning, crying at night, crying in the morning. What did 321 00:24:18.839 --> 00:24:22.359 I start to do at night to use my energy? I started to make 322 00:24:22.400 --> 00:24:27.880 tiktoks. I took the pent up energy in motion and I transmuted that emotion 323 00:24:29.240 --> 00:24:33.200 into creative energy. You have the power to do that. It's up to 324 00:24:33.319 --> 00:24:36.440 you. You can do it. Oh my god, do it, really 325 00:24:36.480 --> 00:24:38.319 do it. It feels so fucking good. And again, you're gonna feel 326 00:24:38.359 --> 00:24:44.079 so liberated in doing this. When you're feeling upset about the fifth interview, 327 00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:49.319 the failed business project, the broken relationship or situation ship, use that energy 328 00:24:49.559 --> 00:24:55.200 to start a different Maybe you know what, Maybe you need to completely wipe 329 00:24:55.240 --> 00:25:00.640 out your Tinder profile and your bumble profile and whatever else hinge and start again. 330 00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:03.279 Maybe you just need to revamp it. Maybe you need to revamp your 331 00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:07.680 business idea. If it didn't work out in the way that you want it, 332 00:25:07.680 --> 00:25:12.359 it's because something better is coming. All you have to do is prime 333 00:25:12.440 --> 00:25:15.720 yourself for that better thing to come into your life. How do you do 334 00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:18.440 that? Change it up, change up the profile, change up the business 335 00:25:18.519 --> 00:25:25.400 idea. Again, be resourceful, be resourceful. Not all of us have 336 00:25:25.480 --> 00:25:29.759 the same resources, but that doesn't matter. What matters is how resourceful you 337 00:25:29.799 --> 00:25:33.160 are with what you have, because at the end of the day, I 338 00:25:33.200 --> 00:25:37.480 don't think God would deprive you of everything you needed to get exactly where you 339 00:25:37.559 --> 00:25:41.519 wanted to go. Do you really think God is going to say, I 340 00:25:41.559 --> 00:25:45.480 Am going to put this desire in your heart, but I'm not going to 341 00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:49.000 give you any of the necessary resources to go after it. Of course not, 342 00:25:49.720 --> 00:25:55.519 of course not. When you start attuning yourself, your eyes will start 343 00:25:55.519 --> 00:26:00.440 to attune alongside of your mind, and you're going to start to see things 344 00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:03.279 you need, the things that you want, all of your desires, the 345 00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:08.680 right people, the right places, everything coming into your literal eyesight. But 346 00:26:10.279 --> 00:26:14.000 if you don't ever switch into that healing mindset, all you can see is 347 00:26:14.079 --> 00:26:17.880 hurt. If I'm in a healing mindset, ways to heal is going to 348 00:26:17.960 --> 00:26:22.119 be in my eyesight. If I am in a healing mindset, then all 349 00:26:22.160 --> 00:26:26.559 these different opportunities are going to be in my eyesight. But if I'm in 350 00:26:26.599 --> 00:26:30.200 a hurting mindset, I'm not going to see those new opportunities, those new 351 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:36.039 people, the new places because my eyes aren't attuned. I'm not priming myself 352 00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:41.599 to get where I want to go. Start using that energy as momentum to 353 00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:45.559 go to the gym, eat better, drink more water, create something, 354 00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:48.359 find a new friend, do something you would have never done before. Be 355 00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:53.160 courageous as long as it's healthy for you and not hurting anyone else. The 356 00:26:53.319 --> 00:26:57.720 next thing we want to do is use our time and not have our time 357 00:26:59.000 --> 00:27:02.599 use us. I kind of said this in the beginning of this podcast, 358 00:27:02.680 --> 00:27:07.519 but stop waiting. I think so many of us are waiting for someone to 359 00:27:07.640 --> 00:27:11.559 validate us, or someone to think we're pretty, or someone to do something 360 00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:15.680 A lot of us have been waiting for that night in Shining Armor our whole 361 00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:19.559 entire life. I remember being in my room as a kid, hiding in 362 00:27:19.559 --> 00:27:23.720 my closet and just thinking, one day someone's going to save me, someone 363 00:27:23.880 --> 00:27:27.519 someone, Thank you Disney for programming that into my psyche. Thank you, 364 00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:33.480 thank you anyway. Stop waiting for someone to save you and save yourself. 365 00:27:34.319 --> 00:27:41.200 Join the twenty one Day Break Up Glow Challenge. It's one hundred and eleven 366 00:27:41.240 --> 00:27:45.680 dollars and you can get the workbook for eleven dollars. Don't wait to sign 367 00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:48.960 up, don't wait to get a session. Get a session with me or 368 00:27:48.000 --> 00:27:52.200 a therapist or anyone. I literally don't care who. You go to find 369 00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:56.880 someone you resonate and get a session with them. When you are putting things 370 00:27:56.960 --> 00:28:00.319 off, you're in a hurting mindset, and when you're in a hurting mindset, 371 00:28:00.480 --> 00:28:04.480 you can't get into a healing one. If you're saying I don't want 372 00:28:04.480 --> 00:28:07.039 to sign up for the twenty one day Breakup Flow Up Challenge, I'm not 373 00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:10.519 gonna get the workbook. I'm not going to sign up for a session with 374 00:28:10.759 --> 00:28:12.839 CC or someone else, or a therapist or a gym, I'm not going 375 00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:18.559 to sign up for that. You're in a hurting mindset. You're not going 376 00:28:18.599 --> 00:28:22.279 to heal while in that hurting mindset. You have to choose to say, 377 00:28:22.480 --> 00:28:25.960 you know what, Yeah, I might need to break down, which is 378 00:28:26.000 --> 00:28:29.079 really a breakthrough a couple of times a day, but I'm still going to 379 00:28:29.160 --> 00:28:30.920 choose to heal. I'm still going to go to that yoga class, I'm 380 00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:33.480 still going to go to CC session. I'm still going to sign up for 381 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:40.319 this challenge. You have to think from your healing self, not your hurting 382 00:28:40.359 --> 00:28:45.680 self. Your healing self would invest her time into programs and sessions and the 383 00:28:45.799 --> 00:28:51.680 gym, and going even to see a friend for a dinner date. That's 384 00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:53.359 healing. That can be really healing as long as that friend is a good 385 00:28:53.400 --> 00:28:57.799 friend. For you. Think from your healing self, how would she invest 386 00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:03.279 her time? Would she live out her day today, focus into the healing, 387 00:29:03.599 --> 00:29:07.240 not on the hurting. When you're pushing things away that you know are 388 00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:15.000 going to help you, you're in that hurting mindset. Whether you're wanting to 389 00:29:15.079 --> 00:29:19.160 up level your business, maybe there's a business program that you can join where 390 00:29:19.160 --> 00:29:22.640 you can understand, Okay, I can do X, Y and Z, 391 00:29:22.720 --> 00:29:25.680 and this is going to help me grow. Maybe you need to go on 392 00:29:25.720 --> 00:29:29.720 some auditions. If you're an actress, that's a healing mindset. That's a 393 00:29:29.799 --> 00:29:33.559 going after a mindset. A hurting mindset is I'm not good enough, I 394 00:29:33.559 --> 00:29:36.920 shouldn't try. A healing mindset is I'm going to go onto that audition. 395 00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:37.839 Even if I think I'm not good enough for it, I don't care. 396 00:29:37.960 --> 00:29:41.599 I'm gonna do it anyway. I'm going to sign up for this gym anyway. 397 00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:44.000 I'm gonna go on this interview anyway. Okay, I don't have all 398 00:29:44.039 --> 00:29:47.119 the credentials, but I'm going to go for it anyway. Be in a 399 00:29:47.160 --> 00:29:52.559 healing mindset, go after it. Don't wait for your time to magically do 400 00:29:52.759 --> 00:29:59.680 something to you. Use your time to create magic. A huge part of 401 00:29:59.720 --> 00:30:06.680 healing. You might not like this, but it's delayed gratification. Most people 402 00:30:06.759 --> 00:30:11.200 don't heal because they simply don't give themselves enough time to do so. I'm 403 00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:15.720 going to say that again. Most people don't heal because they simply do not 404 00:30:15.880 --> 00:30:22.079 give themselves enough time to do so. They want instant healing, instant gratification. 405 00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:26.440 Bitch, what who told you? Healing works like that? I know 406 00:30:26.480 --> 00:30:30.039 we live in an age of Instagram and Facebook and TikTok. Healing does not 407 00:30:30.160 --> 00:30:33.559 work like that. Nature does not work like that. I can curse out 408 00:30:33.599 --> 00:30:37.240 an infant baby. It's not going to come out of the mother's stomach just 409 00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:42.039 because I want it to. Healing is nature, and nature takes time, 410 00:30:42.920 --> 00:30:47.640 you have to start seeing the marathon here, the bigger picture, not just 411 00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:52.960 what you're doing that day. With time. We want to use our time 412 00:30:52.039 --> 00:30:56.160 to heal. We don't want it to use us. A lot of us 413 00:30:56.440 --> 00:31:00.640 are looking for that quick fix because we don't want to rely on time. 414 00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:03.720 You don't need to rely on time. You got to rely on yourself. 415 00:31:03.640 --> 00:31:10.880 When you start saying I'm gonna keep looking at this business idea, I'm going 416 00:31:10.920 --> 00:31:14.519 to keep putting myself out there. I'm going to keep trying to heal, 417 00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:17.920 even if I don't heal tomorrow, even if I don't get that interview tomorrow. 418 00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:21.480 Let me just tell you you'll get it. You will get it. 419 00:31:21.720 --> 00:31:26.279 Most people are not doing what they need to do at all. A lot 420 00:31:26.319 --> 00:31:30.960 of people are not doing what they need to do long enough. And again, 421 00:31:30.279 --> 00:31:33.880 many, many, many people are not doing what they need to do 422 00:31:33.960 --> 00:31:40.279 long enough or consistent enough. This is the problem. We're looking for something 423 00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:45.240 that's just automatically going to heal us or save us. That's not how this 424 00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:51.279 works. You have to get up every single day and do those affirmations day 425 00:31:51.319 --> 00:31:53.119 after day, week after week, month after month, and you have to 426 00:31:53.160 --> 00:31:57.759 be consistent with it. The reason the twenty one Day break Up Globe Challenges 427 00:31:57.759 --> 00:32:04.119 twenty one days is it is because it takes about twenty one days to create 428 00:32:04.599 --> 00:32:07.160 lasting change. I knew not to do a one day or five day, 429 00:32:07.240 --> 00:32:12.200 or even a ten day, because what would that do. It wouldn't do 430 00:32:12.319 --> 00:32:16.759 enough. It takes twenty one days. And many of the girlies in the 431 00:32:16.799 --> 00:32:22.319 twenty one day break Up Globe Challenge take the challenge again and then again, 432 00:32:22.599 --> 00:32:25.960 and then they sign up for sessions with me because they see they see the 433 00:32:27.039 --> 00:32:30.160 little results start to unfold, and then they want more because they know it 434 00:32:30.200 --> 00:32:36.839 can happen. It just takes you doing something long enough and consistent enough. 435 00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:40.799 In a hurting mindset, we look for instant gratification. We're looking to numb. 436 00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:45.240 We want it now, so we go for the cookies or the alcohol 437 00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:49.799 or the drugs, and all that does is delay our healing. We think 438 00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:55.599 it's instant healing, it's really instant hurting, because then when that substance wears 439 00:32:55.640 --> 00:32:59.200 off, we wake up the next day, we're still in our own body. 440 00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:02.079 We still have that hurt. Don't look for the numbing, don't look 441 00:33:02.119 --> 00:33:07.400 for instant gratification. That's a hurting mindset. Look for baby steps of improvement. 442 00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:10.359 You know what, I don't feel like dying today. You know what, 443 00:33:10.440 --> 00:33:14.880 I didn't talk him today. You know what, I actually got myself 444 00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:20.039 to create a new business plan today. Baby steps, because what do baby 445 00:33:20.079 --> 00:33:23.839 steps do but build big steps over time. You're gonna look back and you're 446 00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:28.839 gonna say, holy shit, I didn't even realize how much I've grown because 447 00:33:28.880 --> 00:33:31.480 I was just doing the work every day. But now I can see how 448 00:33:31.519 --> 00:33:35.160 all the dots connect. I can see how much growth I've had, and 449 00:33:35.200 --> 00:33:39.920 oh my god, I'm so proud of myself. Another part of this to 450 00:33:40.079 --> 00:33:45.079 be in a healing mindset is to forgive yourself. Just let it go, 451 00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:49.160 girl, like, oh, let it go, Let it go. You 452 00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:52.000 didn't know better, okay, or else you would have done better. And 453 00:33:52.039 --> 00:33:54.200 if you knew better but weren't able to do better, it's because your subconscious 454 00:33:54.240 --> 00:34:00.680 mind was clogged up. So that's fine. Now know better and you're figuring 455 00:34:00.680 --> 00:34:04.960 out how to do better, so you will do better. But hating on 456 00:34:05.039 --> 00:34:08.159 yourself is going to lead to more hurt, because that is a hurting mindset. 457 00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:12.519 If we want to start to love ourselves, if we want to start 458 00:34:12.519 --> 00:34:15.639 to get into our next season, a higher vibrational timeline. We got to 459 00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:22.679 start trying to see that we were doing our best. We were. We 460 00:34:22.760 --> 00:34:25.199 tried. Maybe we didn't get what we wanted, but you know what, 461 00:34:25.320 --> 00:34:30.039 we tried, and that's okay. It's okay. You didn't get the interview. 462 00:34:30.079 --> 00:34:32.320 Guess what. It's okay, the situationship ended. Guess what it's okay. 463 00:34:32.679 --> 00:34:37.480 There's eight billion people, and there's, oh my god, so many 464 00:34:37.559 --> 00:34:43.639 opportunities for a career, including ones you can create for yourself. There is 465 00:34:43.679 --> 00:34:47.960 a beautiful healing mantra called a phono Pono Pono and it's four lines, and 466 00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:52.239 I love to do this anytime I get upset at myself or my partner. 467 00:34:52.119 --> 00:34:58.239 The four lines are I'm sorry, Please forgive me, thank you, I 468 00:34:58.360 --> 00:35:02.079 love you. And any time I'm upset at an older version of myself or 469 00:35:02.119 --> 00:35:06.599 a younger version of myself, or even my partner, but let's just focus 470 00:35:06.639 --> 00:35:09.519 on self here, I'll say I'm sorry, CC, please forgive me, 471 00:35:10.360 --> 00:35:15.480 thank you, and I love you. I'm sorry to God for not seeing 472 00:35:15.559 --> 00:35:19.639 my true worth. Please forgive me. To all my angels, sorry I 473 00:35:19.719 --> 00:35:22.880 had to see that. Thank you for being here with you me, and 474 00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:25.119 I love you. I love you, and I love me, and I'm 475 00:35:25.119 --> 00:35:29.719 going to do better. Hating on yourself is not going to move you forward. 476 00:35:29.760 --> 00:35:32.039 It gets you stuck in a loop. It's a hurting mindset. Get 477 00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:35.840 the fuck out of there. It's boring. Okay, it's lazy, it's 478 00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:40.639 gross, it's not fun. Get out and refocus. The next thing that's 479 00:35:40.639 --> 00:35:45.039 a healing mindset is to ask yourself, what did I learn? Bitch? 480 00:35:45.239 --> 00:35:49.400 Mike A list? Okay, when I broke up with one of these guys 481 00:35:49.519 --> 00:35:53.280 during quarantine, this is like, it's weird, but anyway, we broke 482 00:35:53.360 --> 00:35:55.679 up. Sometimes I think this is kind of crane, kind of cute, 483 00:35:55.719 --> 00:36:00.639 you know, it's like the perfect, perfect secret sauce. But he asked 484 00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:04.079 me. He was like, let's make a list of things that we've learned 485 00:36:04.079 --> 00:36:06.480 from each other. I think it was like ten things we've learned from each 486 00:36:06.519 --> 00:36:09.920 other. So I had to make like for some reason, I don't know 487 00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:14.320 why we were doing this on Instagram DM. We had each other's numbers and 488 00:36:14.360 --> 00:36:16.840 we facetimed every night. So don't ask me why we did this over Instagram 489 00:36:16.920 --> 00:36:20.719 anyway. Oh, maybe he blocked me or I blocked him. I don't 490 00:36:20.760 --> 00:36:25.000 I don't know anyway, So oh, I think I did block him. 491 00:36:25.199 --> 00:36:29.639 I can't remember, but I think I might have anyway. So we wrote 492 00:36:29.679 --> 00:36:31.599 a list to each other of all the things we learned from each other, 493 00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:37.239 and honestly, like that was really helpful to see this wasn't a waste of 494 00:36:37.280 --> 00:36:40.360 time, was really helpful. So, whether it's an interview, what if 495 00:36:40.360 --> 00:36:45.159 you learned from that interview that you could have done better? Ask the interviewer 496 00:36:45.679 --> 00:36:47.800 what did I do that you didn't love? Or what could I have done 497 00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:52.400 better? What was it that you're looking for? And get some data on 498 00:36:52.639 --> 00:36:57.039 what their perspective was. It doesn't mean you to blindly believe them and agree 499 00:36:57.079 --> 00:37:00.000 with them, but just get some data understand what did I learn from this 500 00:37:00.079 --> 00:37:04.880 relationship? Did I learn what red flags are? Did I learn what they 501 00:37:04.920 --> 00:37:07.519 have that I do want in the next partner? Did I learn more about 502 00:37:07.519 --> 00:37:10.800 the person I definitely don't want? What did I get Did I learn that 503 00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:15.599 I need boundaries? Did I learn that I have too many boundaries? What 504 00:37:15.639 --> 00:37:20.400 did I learn? Take what you can take the lessons and lead the losers. 505 00:37:20.920 --> 00:37:22.400 I know it's a little harsh to say a loser, but if they 506 00:37:22.440 --> 00:37:25.639 broke up with you they are a loser. Okay, bye. So anyway, 507 00:37:25.800 --> 00:37:30.400 take the lessons, leave the losers. That's it. That's it. 508 00:37:30.280 --> 00:37:34.840 Reflect on what's going to help you heal. Is reflecting on how they're the 509 00:37:34.840 --> 00:37:37.320 best person ever going to help you heal. Know. Also that's a lie 510 00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:39.679 you're lining to yourself. Stop doing that. Reflect on the things that are 511 00:37:39.800 --> 00:37:44.559 going to push you forward in healing, not what's going to push you further 512 00:37:44.679 --> 00:37:50.719 in hurting. And lastly, dream a new dream, bitch. I've been 513 00:37:50.719 --> 00:37:53.039 waiting so long to say that. That was like the one know what I 514 00:37:53.039 --> 00:37:57.440 wrote down for this podcast is dream a new dream, bitch. If this 515 00:37:57.480 --> 00:38:01.039 one didn't work, fuck it. Like, you have so much power, 516 00:38:01.159 --> 00:38:04.960 you have so much energy, you can create a new one. You can 517 00:38:04.960 --> 00:38:07.280 try something new. Why does this have to be your end all be all? 518 00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:12.840 Maybe it needs to be revamped, reworked, reconsidered, Maybe you need 519 00:38:12.880 --> 00:38:15.800 to recollect your ideas about it. But dream a new dream, bitch. 520 00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:21.119 Okay, whether it's relationships or a situationship, or a job interview or your 521 00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:24.840 dream job project, a venture, dream a new dream, dream a new 522 00:38:24.920 --> 00:38:30.880 dream. We see successful people and we see what they've finally done that actually 523 00:38:30.920 --> 00:38:34.639 succeeded, but no one ever talks about all the things they did that actually 524 00:38:34.639 --> 00:38:42.039 failed. People who win have more fails than failures do because failures they try 525 00:38:42.079 --> 00:38:44.840 and they fail and they never try again. Winners fail fail, fail, 526 00:38:44.880 --> 00:38:47.320 fail, fail, and then eventually they win. If you just keep going, 527 00:38:47.440 --> 00:38:52.760 you have to win. It will happen. It must happen. It 528 00:38:52.800 --> 00:38:55.960 will, but you have to keep going. You have to keep going. 529 00:38:57.480 --> 00:38:59.519 If I made one TikTok and was like, oh, you know, it 530 00:38:59.559 --> 00:39:00.719 didn't get any views, so I'm just never going to do it again, 531 00:39:00.840 --> 00:39:04.800 I could never be where I am right now. It wouldn't happen. How 532 00:39:04.840 --> 00:39:07.320 could I get to over four hundred k followers if I just let it go 533 00:39:07.400 --> 00:39:14.719 that one time. No, No, keep going, keep moving, and 534 00:39:14.880 --> 00:39:19.519 choose a healing mindset. I love you so much. I hope I triggered 535 00:39:19.559 --> 00:39:22.000 some parts of you today so you can face yourself and say, I'm a 536 00:39:22.119 --> 00:39:27.599 fucking badass, positive bitch and I got this. I hope so because triggering 537 00:39:27.719 --> 00:39:32.920 leads you to further healing. So with that being said, I love you. 538 00:39:34.360 --> 00:39:37.239 If this episode resonated with you, please leave a positive review on Apple 539 00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:42.360 Podcasts and Spotify. It helps us grow so much. It helps us reach 540 00:39:42.440 --> 00:39:45.280 more positive bitches, and it means the world to me. If not for 541 00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:47.880 me, of course, do for you. Girl. Get some good karma 542 00:39:47.960 --> 00:39:53.360 with a genuine heart. If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot posted 543 00:39:53.400 --> 00:39:58.440 on Instagram. Be sure to tag me so I can repost it and I 544 00:39:58.440 --> 00:40:09.639 will see you in the next Wow. I can't I see coming into Jesus 545 00:40:09.639 --> 00:40:20.679 sake. You can't sell change. I got I gotta go. We can't 546 00:40:20.719 --> 00:40:30.559 speak. I can't sell us free. You can't sell us f