Not far. What's up, positive bitches? How are we doing today?
If you're hearing this episode, you are meant to be here, So keep
listening on that bitch is positive. Sometimes we might laugh, other times we
might cry, but we will always leave feeling empowered to be that positive bitch,
that positive babe in total connection with herself. We are all about getting
connected to yourself, your own body, and your own voice, so you
can align with your most magnetic frequency. You can live with ease, get
anyone anything, and ultimately feel liberated in your own skin. Last week,
I asked you on Instagram what do you want here on podcast episodes? And
I got so many questions about situation ships and failed dreams. So there is
actually a really interesting connection I find between situation ships and failed ventures. And
that's what we're going to talk about today. This can apply to you whether
you're going through a situation ship breakup, a friendship breakup, or you just
didn't get that interview that you really wanted. Even if none of these resonate,
just hold on because there are so much we're going to talk about.
And if you found this podcast and you are listening, there's something in here.
There's a golden nugget for you to hear your angels, your guides have
brought you here today. It's an honor to be here with you. But
before we get into it, a couple of announcements. If you're not following
me at vib in with CC on Instagram and TikTok that's v Ibi n with
ci CI, sure to follow me there for daily tips and tricks on how
to become your most magnetic self. If you want to follow that Bitch is
Positive on Instagram, that is the account that is linked to this podcast,
and it's at that Bitch is Positive. I will link all the links in
the show notes so you don't have to go too far to find them.
If you are going through a breakup like what we're talking about today, a
situationship breakup, any sort of friendship breakup, join the twenty one day Breakup
Glow Up Challenge. Healing has nothing to do with time. It has to
do with what you do with your time. Another tool that I have that
will really help you is my calling your Power Back Workbook. I want to
read you a recent DM I got from someone who has been using the workbook.
They said, Hey, Stacey, I purchased You're calling your power back
guide and am on day three of the exercise. The first two days,
I release so much pain and I cried a ton letting go of someone who
I was having a hard time closing the door on. I was able to
get the strength and confidence to block him. I muted him months ago,
but he didn't. But he didn't and would watch all of my stories immediately,
so it was a massive energy drain on me. Today I feel so
much better, no tears, no sadness, just ready to get myself up
on the pedestal. It's super tough for me, but I know your guy
will really help me. Each time I read it over, it's so empowering.
Thank you so much. It's actually unreal the transformation. I was in
the pits over the loss, and now I'm so calm and collected and think
about a future without them and feel fine. I can't wait to keep using
your tips and practices. The emotional relief alone is worth so much. It
makes me want to cry when I read messages like this because I get them
all day. But I remember being that girl in that pain, And if
you're in that pain, you don't need to suffer this intensely. You can
choose to pick yourself back up and join the twenty one day Break Up Globe
Challenge. Get the Calling Your Power Back Workbook. It's eleven dollars. I
made it eleven dollars purposely so as many people as possible could get their hands
on it. You don't need to suffer for this long. You don't need
to suffer anymore. You can change your life, but you have to use
your own mind, your own conscious free will to do so. I will
link again everything in the show notes. Last, but not least, if
you would like more intimate guidance by me, you can always DM me at
Biman with CC to talk about my one on one services and we can talk
there about how I can help you get to that most magnetic timeline. Without
further ado, let's get into today's episode. So let's talk about these short
lived loves and these broken dreams that all of us have felt at least once
in our life. The thing about situationships that I think are so hard for
people to get over one it's the self gas lighting that we've been doing.
Are they into me? Are they not? No? I'm just crazy.
No, it's my fault no, I should be better. What's wrong with
me? I think there comes a point where all of those questions and we
know if we don't ask the right questions, we can't get the right answers
asking ourselves what's wrong with me? Let me change this? Okay? Does
he like me? Now? Okay? No, I don't think he does.
Okay, it's my fault. There's something wrong with me. That self
gas lighting burns us out, and there comes a point in time where we've
guess let ourselves. We're just on fire at this point, and it still
hasn't worked to get that person's attention. And we know the reason that is
is because that self gaslighting is really just energetically chasing that situationship partner. It
gets so messy internally, and we're so in fight or flight that we can't
get any clarity. And eventually our friends get tired of hearing about it,
about the guy, the girl, or the situation ship or the interview that
we didn't get. Eventually, our family gets tired about it. Eventually everyone
else is over it, but we're not. And I think the reason that
people get tired of it is because they're not seeing what you felt. They're
not able to feel what you felt. So one, it's yeah, we
guess let ourselves for a really long time and now we're just fucking depleted and
fucking exhausted. The other part of this is our friends will say, well,
you know, you weren't even really dating. You didn't even have a
label. How long did you date? Was it like a week? Was
it a month? I mean, were you even dating? He kind of
just like saw you when he wanted to. Because they didn't feel the emotion
of the experience, they're not going to validate it. They're not going to
be able to see what you went through. The only person you understand everything
you went through is you. You're the only person living inside of your own
body. You're the only person who understands everything you've seen and felt. And
most of us don't even understand what we're feeling and seeing and hearing. We're
just experiencing it in the moment. I think that when our friends starts saying,
well, you know, you weren't really together for that long, or
you know you weren't even really in a relationship, that just further gaslights what
we have felt. And it's not our friend's fault. It's not like they're
evil or they did something or they're trying to do something. It's that they
probably can only meet you as deep as they have met themselves, and if
they don't know how to go there, they don't know how to go there.
And that's why you hire people like me or a therapist, or you
go to an older, wiser adult hopefully if that is accessible to you.
What I think is really the worst thing about failed interviews or ventures or business
projects or situationships is the story we created in our head about it and the
disappointment we have to face because while we're in this situation ship, we're thinking,
Okay, then we're gonna get together, and then we're gonna get married,
and then we're gonna have these kids. While we're building up this dream
project that maybe when sideways, we're thinking, I'm going to do it every
day and it's gonna make me, you know, fifty thousand a month,
and I'm really going to be so successful and I'm going to be Informed magazine
and I'm going to do this. The stories we're telling in our head,
oftentimes are what gives us the biggest disappointment because we weren't paying attention to what
was going on externally, we weren't even thinking about it, and internally we
were doing the right thing by intending really positive things about our life. We
were positively intending I'm going to have this beautiful, beautiful business or this beautiful,
beautiful relationship. That was the right thing to do. You know,
they tell us focus on reality because they didn't know we were the creators of
it. Where did we go wrong? We didn't marry our intel pensions with
our emotions, so a lot of us were thinking, Oh, I'm going
to have this beautiful relationship and we're gonna do this and this and this,
and then we're like, wait, wait will I. What we end up
doing is marrying that positive intention with a negative emotion. So what happens our
positive intention, Our mind is going in one direction, but our heart is
going into another. We need head and heart coherence. So if you were
positively thinking about the relationship or the job venture, oh yeah, it's gonna
happen. It's gonna happen. And we built up this story in our head,
but every time we thought about it, we started feeling, oh God,
what if it doesn't happen. That is not head and heart coherent.
That is your head and your heart into opposite directions, and that's when we
block our own manifestations. It's frustrating for us because not only have we gas
let ourselves for so long, now our friends can't see the pain that we're
in because maybe they're too young, or they don't understand, or they haven't
felt it themselves, or maybe they just can't go there. And then another
level is we built up this huge thing in our head. While we were
dating or while we were creating this project, we weren't just present. We
were thinking about all the other areas of our life. It was going to
effect. We were thinking about, oh my god, it's going to give
me this and that and this and that and this and that. And while
that was great we were doing that, we end up breaking our own hearts.
A lot of people will tell me I got played. I'm like,
wait, did you though? What happened? And they'll say, well,
you know, he would call me one day and not the knacks, and
he would say he was going to be there but then not show up and
he was kind of cheap also, And I say, did he play you?
Or did you play yourself? Here? Because to me, there was
no green flags here. There was no consistency here, there was no I
want you, I'm choosing you, and I'm going to put effort behind that
that was not there. A lot of us are playing ourselves because we're getting
lost in our head and we're not marrying it with emotion, and then we're
going to our friends for validation and they're not giving it to us. And
I really think it's just it's every area of your life starts to crumble in
on you. That's what happens, and that's why it feels so fucking heartbreaking,
because in our head it was going in one direction and now it's not.
Our friends can't really see the picture, our family can't really see the
picture, or they're tired of hearing us talk about it, and we kind
of feel blindsided with healing. This is what you have to understand. And
I say this with my whole heart. I said last week, I love
you. I will sit there, I'll hold your hand, I'll cry with
you, but I'm also going to kick your ass. And that's just the
truth. I'm not going to let you fuck things up for yourself. If
you are still crying, still hurting, not able to move forward at all
going in circles spiraling daily, and you keep repeating the same actions, the
same thoughts, in the same emotions. You need to hear this. There's
a difference between a hurting mindset and a healing mindset. If you're thinking,
talking, acting it out, reflecting on, which equals being hurt daily,
you're going to keep being hurt after a breakup or a failed interview. We're
in a hurting mindset, and there's nothing wrong with immediately feeling pain from a
situation that you didn't like how it unfolded. The problem arises when we get
stuck in a hurting mindset, a hurting mindset, that is when we're thinking,
we're talking about, we're reflecting on, we're contemplating. We are obsessed
with our hurt, so day in and day out, we are focusing on
the hurt, and that's where all of our energy is going. We have
to understand pain is unavoidable. We're all going to have pain. That contrast
leads to clarification. However, we create our own suffering when we want to
allow ourselves to exit the hurting mindset. There's that difference between a healing mindset
and a hurting mindset. If you want to exit you're hurting mindset, you
have to give yourself permission to get the fuck out of this loop of thinking,
talking about it, feeling about it, reflecting about it, obsessing about
your hurt. If you obsess about your hurt, you will keep feeling that
hurt. If you want to heal, you have to enter into a healing
mindset where you're thinking about your feeling about, you're talking about, you're contemplating
about, You're consuming healing media. You're not listening to those sad songs anymore
because you decided with your own free will that you have to change, and
the way to do that is to start altering what you're thinking about, what
you're feeling about, and what you're consuming. Where focus goes, energy flows.
If you keep thinking about, and feeling about and talking about your hurt,
you're gonna feel hurt continuously. This is all about baby steps. Think
about your life as a marathon. We're not trying to just bust through this
bitch. Okay, no, we're taking baby steps. But with these baby
steps, we want to start to change everything, everything, even down to
what you wear. If wearing the same sweatsuit that you've been wearing every single
day reminds you of your ex. Take that shit off and get a little
bit of a cuter, cuter sweatsuit. That's it. When I was trying
to release weight, I literally said to myself, I need cuter clothes so
I feel better in what I'm doing. And everything is vibration, so even
your clothing is vibration. If you're wearing clothes that don't make you feel good,
your sweats don't make you feel good, change your sweats, don't wear
those anymore. If whatever you're doing makes you feel crappy, then change what
it is, from how you're thinking, from how you're feeling, from what
you're wearing, and even what you're eating every because everything is energy. So
if everything is feeling terrible, let's start changing it from a hurting mindset from
what we've been doing to what we can be doing, what is possible for
us. We're going to start changing into a healing mindset. That is step
one. Telling yourself, I'm not going to keep thinking and focusing on and
talking about to my friends about the hurt, because that is just going to
make me hurt more. I'm going to start talking about my healing. I'm
going to get excited about this new yoga class. I'm going to get excited
about cooking. I'm going to get excited about going on this interview that I
never thought I could. And it's the same thing with a failed business venture,
business project, or interview. First of all, you know that I
don't actually believe in failure because everything is data, and if you learned what
didn't work, it also means you are one step closer to understanding what does
work with failure. Don't see it as failure, don't see it as a
way from success. See it as a step towards success, because that is
what it is. You can't let that ship get you down. Get out
of that hurting mindset of I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough,
and get into a healing mindset. Okay, I know it doesn't work,
Okay, that's not for me. Because divine it's divine protection. If it's
rejection, it's divine protection and redirection. Get into a healing mindset. Ask
yourself, am I in a hurting mindset? Or am I in a healing
mindset? Because a hurting mindset is going to lead me to more pain,
more suffering, more hurting, But if I ask myself the right questions,
like what did I learn? What can I do better? I'm going to
start to get into a healing mindset. As we go through different things you
can do to heal from situationships, or a failed business venture. We're going
to talk about how to enter into a healing mindset, but the foundation is
just understanding that you're probably not yet in that healing mindset. One thing you
have to do to get into a healing mindset is stop looking outside of yourself
for validation. They don't know what you felt, they don't understand what you're
going through. What do you want when you're going to them for validation?
Is it you want to feel closeness? Is it you want intimacy? Is
it you want someone to tell you you're pretty? Do you just want general
validation? How can you give yourself that validation or what you're looking for?
Out of your family and your friends? They might just not be capable of
giving you what you need to hear or what you need to feel. So
you need to ask yourself, what am I looking for? How can I
give it to myself? I want you to understand, by the way,
if you experience really tense emotions for someone that was fucking real. Those are
your emotions. Emotions are not always fact, but they're valid. They're not
always based in some truth, but they're valid. You do have to see
your feelings as valid. They were your experience. What is life without emotions?
Think about it. Imagine being a human without any emotions? What even
would that be? I don't even understand that concept. I don't understand it.
Just no, our emotions, our feelings were gifted to us. Validate
that you had them, because if other people aren't going to do it,
you have to do it for yourself. And when we're in a healing mindset,
giving ourself validation is a habit that we hold close to our heart.
It's a habit that we do often. It's not something we take lightly.
What do I want? How can I give it to myself? Understand,
you're the one who felt that deep love, that deep wanting for that person
or that job or that project. You're the one who felt that deeply.
So you're the one who has to tend to your own wounds. If you
have friends and family who can be therefore you great, But if they can't,
you have to tend to your own wounds on steroids. You really have
to be there for yourself, and how do you be there for yourself?
By asking yourself, what is it that I need? Do I need just
some space to get connected to myself. Maybe I should journal. Maybe I
should take a walk without any music or without a podcast and just listen to
my own thoughts. Maybe I should make something, whether it's a song or
a dance. How can I connect to me? And just start asking yourself
those conscious questions and you'll give yourself an answer what you want. And when
you give yourself your own validation, it's so powerful because you feel so liberated.
You realize, you know what, I don't need fifty thousand different people
to understand my experience. I'm the one feeling my experience, and I'm the
one who can give myself the feelings that I'm looking for. Allow yourself to
feel those feelings. Allow yourself to give a fuck. I think a lot
of us are trying to say, you know whatever, he was just a
situation ship. I don't give a fuck. I'm fine, Like h I
literally have a pinned tweet on my Twitter. Let me just get that up
for you, because I just think it's really important that we talk about this
asap. My pinned tweet for no reason at all is I don't know who
needs to hear this. But having no emotions is not a flex. It's
a sign of trauma. Telling yourself that you're fine and you don't feel anything
and you're all dandy when you're not. What are we doing? What are
we doing? Pushing down your emotions never solved releasing your emotions. It just
makes them become that scary monster underneath the bed. Avoiding your emotions doesn't release
them, and it doesn't get rid of them. It makes them the skeletons
in your closet. It makes you weaker when you don't look get your own
emotions and what you're going through. It makes you weaker because now you're going
out in the world and you have so many triggers and everything so spiky,
and you can't even operate because you have so many skeletons in your closet that
God forbid one of them is poked by something out in the world, you
will lose your ship. Allow yourself to give a fuck if you did,
if you really like this person, Allow yourself to be honest with yourself,
to be in a hurting mindset would be to say I'm fine, I don't
need anything like no, you, what are we doing that for? No.
To be in a healing mindset is to say I really liked that person,
and even if the version of them I liked was completely made up in
my own head, I had a real experience with that completely made up version
in my head, and I really felt for that version in my own head,
and I take responsibility for it. But that shit fucking hurts, and
I'm going to give myself a minute to really feel that. Allow yourself to
feel it. It's valid. If you experienced it's valid. Does it mean
it's true and you know based in fact? I'm no, not really,
not necessarily, But did you experience it? Is it valid? Yes?
If you have a fearful thought about going after your dream, is that fear
true? Is it fact? No? But is it valid? Yeah,
Yeah, it's valid. You never did this before. It's new. It
might be a little bit different, it might be a little bit scary,
but you can still do it. A healing mindset is giving ourselves validation,
but also allowing ourselves to feel what it is we need to feel. The
next part of being in a healing mindset is using these emotions as momentum.
Emotion stems from a Latin term that means energy, emotion emotions. Really it's
just energy. How you use it is up to you. We want to
use our emotions to our advantage so they don't use us. If we went
on fifteen job interviews and every single one of them was turned down, We're
gonna use all of that angsty energy to build an even better portfolio LinkedIn create
maybe a side hustle. Use all of that energy. You can call it
pain, you can call it hurt, but at the end of the day,
it's fucking energy. Use that energy to start a TikTok, to start
a YouTube, to start a side hustle, to finally sell that jewelry on
Etsy. Maybe you're being pushed to start that business of your dreams. Maybe
you're being pushed to not be a nine to five five or I can't even
say it. My body won't even let me say nine to five la,
I won't even let me say it. It's the same way where I'm in
Florata right now, and I can't just say Florida like I have to say
Florada when I try to say Florida. It's like, so Florida. I
can't. I don't like it. It just sounds better as Florata. Anyway,
that's completely neither here nor there anyway. Use your emotions as momentum.
When I was going through a breakup, I was so upset every single day,
crying at night, crying in the morning, crying at night, crying
in the morning, crying at night, crying in the morning. What did
I start to do at night to use my energy? I started to make
tiktoks. I took the pent up energy in motion and I transmuted that emotion
into creative energy. You have the power to do that. It's up to
you. You can do it. Oh my god, do it, really
do it. It feels so fucking good. And again, you're gonna feel
so liberated in doing this. When you're feeling upset about the fifth interview,
the failed business project, the broken relationship or situation ship, use that energy
to start a different Maybe you know what, Maybe you need to completely wipe
out your Tinder profile and your bumble profile and whatever else hinge and start again.
Maybe you just need to revamp it. Maybe you need to revamp your
business idea. If it didn't work out in the way that you want it,
it's because something better is coming. All you have to do is prime
yourself for that better thing to come into your life. How do you do
that? Change it up, change up the profile, change up the business
idea. Again, be resourceful, be resourceful. Not all of us have
the same resources, but that doesn't matter. What matters is how resourceful you
are with what you have, because at the end of the day, I
don't think God would deprive you of everything you needed to get exactly where you
wanted to go. Do you really think God is going to say, I
Am going to put this desire in your heart, but I'm not going to
give you any of the necessary resources to go after it. Of course not,
of course not. When you start attuning yourself, your eyes will start
to attune alongside of your mind, and you're going to start to see things
you need, the things that you want, all of your desires, the
right people, the right places, everything coming into your literal eyesight. But
if you don't ever switch into that healing mindset, all you can see is
hurt. If I'm in a healing mindset, ways to heal is going to
be in my eyesight. If I am in a healing mindset, then all
these different opportunities are going to be in my eyesight. But if I'm in
a hurting mindset, I'm not going to see those new opportunities, those new
people, the new places because my eyes aren't attuned. I'm not priming myself
to get where I want to go. Start using that energy as momentum to
go to the gym, eat better, drink more water, create something,
find a new friend, do something you would have never done before. Be
courageous as long as it's healthy for you and not hurting anyone else. The
next thing we want to do is use our time and not have our time
use us. I kind of said this in the beginning of this podcast,
but stop waiting. I think so many of us are waiting for someone to
validate us, or someone to think we're pretty, or someone to do something
A lot of us have been waiting for that night in Shining Armor our whole
entire life. I remember being in my room as a kid, hiding in
my closet and just thinking, one day someone's going to save me, someone
someone, Thank you Disney for programming that into my psyche. Thank you,
thank you anyway. Stop waiting for someone to save you and save yourself.
Join the twenty one Day Break Up Glow Challenge. It's one hundred and eleven
dollars and you can get the workbook for eleven dollars. Don't wait to sign
up, don't wait to get a session. Get a session with me or
a therapist or anyone. I literally don't care who. You go to find
someone you resonate and get a session with them. When you are putting things
off, you're in a hurting mindset, and when you're in a hurting mindset,
you can't get into a healing one. If you're saying I don't want
to sign up for the twenty one day Breakup Flow Up Challenge, I'm not
gonna get the workbook. I'm not going to sign up for a session with
CC or someone else, or a therapist or a gym, I'm not going
to sign up for that. You're in a hurting mindset. You're not going
to heal while in that hurting mindset. You have to choose to say,
you know what, Yeah, I might need to break down, which is
really a breakthrough a couple of times a day, but I'm still going to
choose to heal. I'm still going to go to that yoga class, I'm
still going to go to CC session. I'm still going to sign up for
this challenge. You have to think from your healing self, not your hurting
self. Your healing self would invest her time into programs and sessions and the
gym, and going even to see a friend for a dinner date. That's
healing. That can be really healing as long as that friend is a good
friend. For you. Think from your healing self, how would she invest
her time? Would she live out her day today, focus into the healing,
not on the hurting. When you're pushing things away that you know are
going to help you, you're in that hurting mindset. Whether you're wanting to
up level your business, maybe there's a business program that you can join where
you can understand, Okay, I can do X, Y and Z,
and this is going to help me grow. Maybe you need to go on
some auditions. If you're an actress, that's a healing mindset. That's a
going after a mindset. A hurting mindset is I'm not good enough, I
shouldn't try. A healing mindset is I'm going to go onto that audition.
Even if I think I'm not good enough for it, I don't care.
I'm gonna do it anyway. I'm going to sign up for this gym anyway.
I'm gonna go on this interview anyway. Okay, I don't have all
the credentials, but I'm going to go for it anyway. Be in a
healing mindset, go after it. Don't wait for your time to magically do
something to you. Use your time to create magic. A huge part of
healing. You might not like this, but it's delayed gratification. Most people
don't heal because they simply don't give themselves enough time to do so. I'm
going to say that again. Most people don't heal because they simply do not
give themselves enough time to do so. They want instant healing, instant gratification.
Bitch, what who told you? Healing works like that? I know
we live in an age of Instagram and Facebook and TikTok. Healing does not
work like that. Nature does not work like that. I can curse out
an infant baby. It's not going to come out of the mother's stomach just
because I want it to. Healing is nature, and nature takes time,
you have to start seeing the marathon here, the bigger picture, not just
what you're doing that day. With time. We want to use our time
to heal. We don't want it to use us. A lot of us
are looking for that quick fix because we don't want to rely on time.
You don't need to rely on time. You got to rely on yourself.
When you start saying I'm gonna keep looking at this business idea, I'm going
to keep putting myself out there. I'm going to keep trying to heal,
even if I don't heal tomorrow, even if I don't get that interview tomorrow.
Let me just tell you you'll get it. You will get it.
Most people are not doing what they need to do at all. A lot
of people are not doing what they need to do long enough. And again,
many, many, many people are not doing what they need to do
long enough or consistent enough. This is the problem. We're looking for something
that's just automatically going to heal us or save us. That's not how this
works. You have to get up every single day and do those affirmations day
after day, week after week, month after month, and you have to
be consistent with it. The reason the twenty one Day break Up Globe Challenges
twenty one days is it is because it takes about twenty one days to create
lasting change. I knew not to do a one day or five day,
or even a ten day, because what would that do. It wouldn't do
enough. It takes twenty one days. And many of the girlies in the
twenty one day break Up Globe Challenge take the challenge again and then again,
and then they sign up for sessions with me because they see they see the
little results start to unfold, and then they want more because they know it
can happen. It just takes you doing something long enough and consistent enough.
In a hurting mindset, we look for instant gratification. We're looking to numb.
We want it now, so we go for the cookies or the alcohol
or the drugs, and all that does is delay our healing. We think
it's instant healing, it's really instant hurting, because then when that substance wears
off, we wake up the next day, we're still in our own body.
We still have that hurt. Don't look for the numbing, don't look
for instant gratification. That's a hurting mindset. Look for baby steps of improvement.
You know what, I don't feel like dying today. You know what,
I didn't talk him today. You know what, I actually got myself
to create a new business plan today. Baby steps, because what do baby
steps do but build big steps over time. You're gonna look back and you're
gonna say, holy shit, I didn't even realize how much I've grown because
I was just doing the work every day. But now I can see how
all the dots connect. I can see how much growth I've had, and
oh my god, I'm so proud of myself. Another part of this to
be in a healing mindset is to forgive yourself. Just let it go,
girl, like, oh, let it go, Let it go. You
didn't know better, okay, or else you would have done better. And
if you knew better but weren't able to do better, it's because your subconscious
mind was clogged up. So that's fine. Now know better and you're figuring
out how to do better, so you will do better. But hating on
yourself is going to lead to more hurt, because that is a hurting mindset.
If we want to start to love ourselves, if we want to start
to get into our next season, a higher vibrational timeline. We got to
start trying to see that we were doing our best. We were. We
tried. Maybe we didn't get what we wanted, but you know what,
we tried, and that's okay. It's okay. You didn't get the interview.
Guess what. It's okay, the situationship ended. Guess what it's okay.
There's eight billion people, and there's, oh my god, so many
opportunities for a career, including ones you can create for yourself. There is
a beautiful healing mantra called a phono Pono Pono and it's four lines, and
I love to do this anytime I get upset at myself or my partner.
The four lines are I'm sorry, Please forgive me, thank you, I
love you. And any time I'm upset at an older version of myself or
a younger version of myself, or even my partner, but let's just focus
on self here, I'll say I'm sorry, CC, please forgive me,
thank you, and I love you. I'm sorry to God for not seeing
my true worth. Please forgive me. To all my angels, sorry I
had to see that. Thank you for being here with you me, and
I love you. I love you, and I love me, and I'm
going to do better. Hating on yourself is not going to move you forward.
It gets you stuck in a loop. It's a hurting mindset. Get
the fuck out of there. It's boring. Okay, it's lazy, it's
gross, it's not fun. Get out and refocus. The next thing that's
a healing mindset is to ask yourself, what did I learn? Bitch?
Mike A list? Okay, when I broke up with one of these guys
during quarantine, this is like, it's weird, but anyway, we broke
up. Sometimes I think this is kind of crane, kind of cute,
you know, it's like the perfect, perfect secret sauce. But he asked
me. He was like, let's make a list of things that we've learned
from each other. I think it was like ten things we've learned from each
other. So I had to make like for some reason, I don't know
why we were doing this on Instagram DM. We had each other's numbers and
we facetimed every night. So don't ask me why we did this over Instagram
anyway. Oh, maybe he blocked me or I blocked him. I don't
I don't know anyway, So oh, I think I did block him.
I can't remember, but I think I might have anyway. So we wrote
a list to each other of all the things we learned from each other,
and honestly, like that was really helpful to see this wasn't a waste of
time, was really helpful. So, whether it's an interview, what if
you learned from that interview that you could have done better? Ask the interviewer
what did I do that you didn't love? Or what could I have done
better? What was it that you're looking for? And get some data on
what their perspective was. It doesn't mean you to blindly believe them and agree
with them, but just get some data understand what did I learn from this
relationship? Did I learn what red flags are? Did I learn what they
have that I do want in the next partner? Did I learn more about
the person I definitely don't want? What did I get Did I learn that
I need boundaries? Did I learn that I have too many boundaries? What
did I learn? Take what you can take the lessons and lead the losers.
I know it's a little harsh to say a loser, but if they
broke up with you they are a loser. Okay, bye. So anyway,
take the lessons, leave the losers. That's it. That's it.
Reflect on what's going to help you heal. Is reflecting on how they're the
best person ever going to help you heal. Know. Also that's a lie
you're lining to yourself. Stop doing that. Reflect on the things that are
going to push you forward in healing, not what's going to push you further
in hurting. And lastly, dream a new dream, bitch. I've been
waiting so long to say that. That was like the one know what I
wrote down for this podcast is dream a new dream, bitch. If this
one didn't work, fuck it. Like, you have so much power,
you have so much energy, you can create a new one. You can
try something new. Why does this have to be your end all be all?
Maybe it needs to be revamped, reworked, reconsidered, Maybe you need
to recollect your ideas about it. But dream a new dream, bitch.
Okay, whether it's relationships or a situationship, or a job interview or your
dream job project, a venture, dream a new dream, dream a new
dream. We see successful people and we see what they've finally done that actually
succeeded, but no one ever talks about all the things they did that actually
failed. People who win have more fails than failures do because failures they try
and they fail and they never try again. Winners fail fail, fail,
fail, fail, and then eventually they win. If you just keep going,
you have to win. It will happen. It must happen. It
will, but you have to keep going. You have to keep going.
If I made one TikTok and was like, oh, you know, it
didn't get any views, so I'm just never going to do it again,
I could never be where I am right now. It wouldn't happen. How
could I get to over four hundred k followers if I just let it go
that one time. No, No, keep going, keep moving, and
choose a healing mindset. I love you so much. I hope I triggered
some parts of you today so you can face yourself and say, I'm a
fucking badass, positive bitch and I got this. I hope so because triggering
leads you to further healing. So with that being said, I love you.
If this episode resonated with you, please leave a positive review on Apple
Podcasts and Spotify. It helps us grow so much. It helps us reach
more positive bitches, and it means the world to me. If not for
me, of course, do for you. Girl. Get some good karma
with a genuine heart. If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot posted
on Instagram. Be sure to tag me so I can repost it and I
will see you in the next Wow. I can't I see coming into Jesus
sake. You can't sell change. I got I gotta go. We can't
speak. I can't sell us free. You can't sell us f