Hello, welcome to Laura Kane. After dark. It's Valentine's Week. Where's
your microphone? He comes in here with a sandwich that is as big as
like a snake. It's huge. You got the biggest one that sub boy
has to come out of him, just like that is going to come out
of that long. It was the veggie delight. It was delicious, Yes,
so good. Anyway, So you know what I had for lunch today?
Carrots riving me insane, carrot sticks. I'm trying to figure out what
his talent is. Since he's the talent you talking to the mic How long
have you done this? You've done this for freaking five years. Yes,
I had carrot sticks for lunch. I was hungry. Are you like a
rabbit or something? Yeah? No, he eats like lamb, and he
eats I eat good things. Lamb is really good. See I can't go
there. No, lamb is delicious. I'll make it. Hi Jody,
and Hi Jody. And he eats chicken, but he doesn't eat beef.
I do not eat beef. Chicken is the worst meat. I know.
I mean it's good for you, but like it's I heard that I get
this toxic. Well Tina Martin. Yeh, Tina Martini. I get the
air chilled and fully organic. Who even goes to subway anymore? Last time?
It was last time. Last time I went to subway, I was
moving and I was moving all my stuff by myself. See that's why I
look like I'm twenty nine. Thank you, Leo. He's telling a story.
Sorry I lost interest. No, okay, anyways, I was moving
by myself, loading up a moving truck by myself. Thanks. It was
like noon and I was starving, so I went to subway like because there's
one like a quarter mile from my house. And twenty minutes later I was
in the bathroom for that hour. Oh no, Like immediately I was like
Jesus Christ, Oh my gosh. Well, yeah, it wasn't fun.
There they go as a sponsor. But whatever. Did you watch the Jared
documentary about the subway? Dude? Yeah, I still need to watch that,
but I guess it's just super super disturbing because it's really really crazy.
Yeah, I don't know. I mean I feel like I need to know.
I know everything I need to know about him. It's totally twisted like
Lauris Colon. Anyway, Wait, I'm Laura Kane. This is Eric River.
That is producer Brian. Show you a little face, Show you a
little face, show your face so YouTube. Anyway, Hi, what's up.
I hope you guys had a good weekend. Did you watch the Super
Bowl? You mean the Taylor Swift concert? Yes to the Taylor Swift Travis
Kelsey the mating dance who cares? No? But did you watch it?
No? I did not one second. Also, I really dis like Travis
Kelce now he's so obnoxious. I kind of got a little worried for Taylor
switch your son got a foot long as well today kind of insane. Did
you think the same thing after he was like v No? Initially I thought
that when he was like chewing out the head coach, what's his face Andy
Reid or something? I mean just saw that picture. I was like,
dude, what the hell like chill? And then yeah, his whole Viva
Las Vegas was like does he have the ability to snap? Like he's got
like ADHD or something. But I was like, dude, you are like
that is so like cringey. Like I'm thinking that now maybe if I was
Taylor, I'd be like, oh me too, me too, yelled the
coach. I mean, I get tensions are high, but come on,
man, Okay, are you happy, casey one? It was a good
game. It was a great game. Thank you. I don't care.
I really like the Chiefs. I like Patrio. We don't care. Oh
my god, Eric, you have been interrupting. I'm sorry, I'm talking.
So I'm talking to Leo. We don't care about the Super Bowl.
I don't care how many innings are in a stupid or how many baskets say.
I don't care. I love that you know enough to deliberately mess that
up, showing that you do have some level of understanding. No, I
don't care how many innings are in it. Did you like Usher? I
did not watch half time? Okay, I could not care less about Well,
let me think he did. He did a good job. It was
very entertaining, and Alicia Keys made an appearance, and I or so did
Ludacris. Why is Usher perform? Why is he the Do you know when
the Usher's hit albums came out? He's coming out with a new album.
That's why you know when his hit came out though, yeah, two thousand
and four years ago. He's not popular, but he has a lot of
Okay, so okay, the NFL does not pay the halftime performers ever in
history have they. But what happens is their music sales go up sky high.
Like when Jaylo perform They didn't pay her. They pay for the accommodations
and everything, and the production and everything, but they don't actually pay her
as talent. But her streams went up three and thirty five percent. I
think they do it for the publicity. I think the NFL should just fade
to an intermission screen for thirty minutes. We can all go to the bathroom,
get our snacks, no, come back to the game. Okay,
now another question. Okay, best halftime that you've seen Madonna? None of
them. I really do not watch the halftimes. Madonna was incredible. Prints
in the Rain singing Purple Rain. I will say the Weekends was pretty good.
I don't even like the Weekend? Did you like the eminem Doctor dre
Mary J. Blige one? I like that one in the Little Houses?
Just don't half times are like you don't you didn't remember Madonna's I did not
remember Adult Do you need to YouTube that? That was epic? Okay,
this is gonna make you feel Wow, you are three years old when the
wardrobe malfunction heard around the whole cap. Yes, the Janet Jackson just oh
my god, like boob pop out or something. He pulled her like top
off and she had like a nipple, she had a nipple tassel like these
days? Was that intentional? That's the whole thing. Was it intentional?
Was it planned? Was it not planned? Oh? It was a huge
controversy these days. It would be nothing to see a book with the task.
We could do a halftime show and you could pull the front of my
pants off and my I could have a Prince Albert hanging there and everything and
nobody would carry I mean, seriously, it's just changed so much. Did
anyone think that Kelsey would propose to Taylor after Yes, Well I didn't think
so. I thought there was a chance. I thought there was a bigger
chance than the prop bet people were saying. They were saying it was only
eight percent chance. I'm like, or like twenty five. I would have
given it twelve maybe. Really, what I don't understand is you had ice
Spice, Taylor Swift and what's her face? Patrick mahomes White is a Brittany.
Brittany Lily Spice, Ice Spice, who's that? Oh Blake Lively?
Now my Ice Spice is this up and coming? I don't know anyways,
but they're all in the you know, they're all in there the skyboxer're all
looking all excited and you know they're freaking out when they win. I'm like,
Ice Spice clearly did not know how football work because Taylor Swift was clearly
explaining it the entire time. Taylor Swift has only probably been to like it,
probably her like six game ever I know. And Brittany Mahomes is the
only one that has any skin the game because she's been with him since high
school. And I'm like, you guys are all true. You guys are
a bunch of fakers. I get out of here. You want to hear
the problems that Taylor Swift has. These are the kind of problems that Taylor.
She had a problem landing her plane. That's exactly what I was gonna
say. Are you going to cover that in your double d's Yes? Okay.
My favorite thing about her is when she whenever she would talk about climate
change, And I'm like, you are you single handedly fly the most private
flights out of any celebrity. What like, Okay, well, let me
give you this scenario. Is it Margaret all the money that she gives to
charity, just say that. I'm sure she gives a lot away to people.
Okay, maybe almost one hundred million, maybe even to the environment.
Okay, pretend she gives one hundred million to the environment. Right, yet
she flies all the time on her private jet using all that fuel. Does
it even out? No? Is it worse? Yes? Oh well,
because you can't buy back climate true, Like I mean, if it was
one thing, if she's like I have to chop down in every every tree
like a tree to get somewhere, and then she goes, but I plant
another tree for everyone, Like, okay, that evens out. But I
see you can't like shoot your money into the atmosphere and like, you know,
make things better. Something profound happened during the Super Bowl, Eric,
and we need to fix it. You got to match on the dating site.
No what. I was shocked. I was embarrassed. I realized my
error, and I'm like, we need to make this good. How many
times have we said the word TIMU on this show. I can't even tell
you too many? Two hundred Maybe it's Tamu. They had five, five,
four or five commercials during the Super Bowl. It's Tamu shop like a
billionaire. Tamu shop like a billionaire. They kept saying Temu, Temmu,
temom like we've been saying it wrong. Hold, oh my god, now
Timu. Yeah, I can't stay. I hate the whole like potato potato
cheap business model. Wait wait till you see what's coming. Oh my god,
you I cannot wait for your gift to get here. Well, we
love Temu, I know, I don't want to love it. I don't
want to love it. I really don't. Nothing you buy like from Temu
is worth it. Uh these ring lights you got these from Timu? Thank
you? Yeah, so some things do work out. How much were they
twenty two? You get those at one more for the same price. Well,
she likes ordering online. Yeah, there you go more satis. There
it is, there you go. Yes, one one cruks for another.
Okay. Before we get to our host chat, mine is a dating story
you are not gonna believe. But first we're going to talk about La joya
cosmetic surgery center. I'm thinking about getting the Elokore, which is like this
new thing that doctor Salazar does where it's not like a facelift, but it
kind of like Monique explained it on the podcast that we had about two months
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and a little bit of sheer eat book mouth opens he has to update on
So what I mean, Brian, do you want to talk? Will you
please have a conversation with him? Like? No, this is your job
share next to them? What what? What? Now? Would listen to
you? No? I'm not listening to anybody. I don't want to have
that conversation. All right, you guys are supposed to be my parents.
It's not my job to parent you too. But you were like born forty.
I can't hope it that is that's true. But okay, this man.
I went to see him in his office, his brand new office,
Jay Wartzler, Capital Growth, Inc. And I went to a charity event
that I was asked to be a celebrity guest at. Don't make fun of
me, Brian, Wait, who is the celebrity there? Me? Well,
that doesn't add up anyway. I met one of his friends and we
were just talking about what a great person Jaywartzler is. He is a money
manager with the mostest and here's more about him and Capital Growth ink. Are
you ready to take control of your financial future? Look no further than Jay
Wartzler. You're trusted and our favorite certified financial planner. Life is full of
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financial advising, estate planning, tax preparation, and divorce analysis. Call J
today at eight five eight five five two six' nine six to zero or
email him at jayw at Capitolgrowthinc Dot com com. Here for a few minutes.
I am not doing the show without you for a few minutes. Well,
it cannot have gone through you. That fastest foot log I will attest
it can hit pretty quickly. Yeah, I'm feeling like things are moving along
quickly. A callin and intestines do this that's you have yours? Does this?
Yes? It does. Here's the thing have you seen the shape of
a footlong? It's aireddynamic. It does. They should call it a slider
because it slides in and then slides out just as easy. It gets the
intestines. This is literally dogshit collects things as it goes through. It's like,
how are you gonna warn me? Well, you'll just get all probably
the warning. God, it'll be a great great on the white couch,
perfect, thank you, You're welcome. It's probably from team or so.
The couch is not from t The cover is if you could have gotten it
from Timu you would have though, definitely, Oh for sure. Okay,
So I have a story about a day that is insane, and then Brian
has a wild card tonight, Eric has his double d Are you taking off
right now? Oh? Well whatever, it's just something fun. I'm a
phone to pick I thought you were getting up to go. No, I
told you, I'll fire off a warning shot. When that happens, it's
not a warning shot. That is the shot, so cross, it'll just
sound like a trumpet blast. Okay, I'm off to the races. Viking
Horn, Yeah exactly. I had a conversation with an old friend of mine
who is in the dating scene, is it, Betty? No comment to
that stupid? Was that like an old like your old comment, like my
old friend, Betty. That supposed to be funny. You should you should
have prepped him on this one before. He's so mean to me today now
as a monster, a monster, you're being a total you're being in like
all over the place, like squirrel, a jerk, being more an a
hole. No, no, I won't go that far. But maybe rambunctious.
Yes, he's he's all over the place, crazy attention. He's looking
for all the validation. There we go. I don't need validation, thank
you. Okay. She was telling me about her this first date, first
date she has with the guy. They go to Benny Hannah. There's you
know, there's several around. This is in another state, another state.
Do you guys consider Benny Hannah's to be a nice restaurant. I'm okay.
That rice is everything to me. It's like cheesecake factory. It's like Olive
Garden, but a little bit pricier and a little bit better. I love
the salad dressing, the ginger salad dressing. When they gave you that little
salad first, that's the only kind of salad, I'll eat and then I
love the rice, and then I then then when they make the chicken and
the stick, it's great. My thought is is that if Olive Garden is
like a good nice restaurant to you, it's not, then Benny Hannah's and
Cheesecake Factory are like royalty five star restaurants. Tall well to some people they
are, and Benny hannah is a nice restaurant to take somebody on a state
I think, I think, I think that was a good move. That's
good. Might as well have gone to check e Cheese, No, dude,
CHECKI Okay, hold on, why are we dissing on food and games
like I think be or what's the Dave and Busters? That's the top tier
foods good? But we are going to be positive today. We're talking about
positive with this this this story is I'm positive the state is going to go
badly. That's why I'm giving David Busters. Dass is so fun and my
kids loved it. When I go there, and you can go there when
you're not you're not doing family night, There nothing better than drinks in arcade.
I had my was it my fourteen year sober birthday? There? Why
it's a arcade because it was an arcade and it was fun. It was
so different. I do remember that I never I never go there sober.
Yeah, I never leave their sober really yeah. And the otherwise our kids
are only have fun, they're always they're more fun when you're sober. Brian,
that's a damn lie. You'll see. I'm not trying to make you
feel bad that one. Okay, Okay, all right. So they go
to Benny Hannah and she's digging him, he's digging her. But they had
had some conversations beforehand via text message where she kind of inferred that he's more
of a dominant person and he likes more of a submissive woman, without really
saying that. It's pretty comment, I think, and she admittedly said,
I am more of a submissive and I don't mind that, perfect, I
guess. So after dinner, they get in the car, they start kissing.
He's like, I'm gonna tie you up. I brought handcuffs. He
goes, will you please, it'll turn me on? So no, so
no, if you lick in and around my ears. Ew. So she
goes, oh god, you know what, okay, and he goes,
wait, what'd you say, and she said okay. He goes No,
I prefer if you say okay daddy. Oh bye. I was not kidding.
Oh she played along just because she it was getting weird at that point.
Obviously, that's so funny. Oh my god, she just goes,
okay, daddy, I will daddy. I would have been like okay,
daddy, and I would have got out of the car and ran for the
hills. That's all they did was was kids and ear stuff. And the
ear stuff is not that weird because ears are kind of like ticklish, like
you get it. I don't want to that wouldn't feel good to me personally.
I don't know. I just wouldn't feel not like weird looking. He
wouldn't turn me on. Okay, that's fine, no, because the liking
the looking kind of weird regardingless I know, but yes, yeah, I
mean that's not that uncommon either, although maybe for a first date. That's
for a first date, but if they're already in the car, like so
weird anyway, so there, you know, Afterward, she decided she's like,
oh my god, what am I gonna do? I mean, this
guy was cute and everything, and maybe if I just am completely honest with
him and say, hey, I'm really not comfortable with that going that far
with it, which she did, and he said, Okay, I'm glad
that you're up front with me. Thank you. But here's my thing.
Once a freak and a kink, always a freaking. Yeah, I kind
of agree. It's gonna come back. Ast it would be water sports and
then anal. It's gonna come back when daddy's coming back. If it's something
he wanted on the first date, then it must be a pretty it must
be the he'll shelve it for a little while. Yeah, it's going to
come right that. Yeah. Sure, I hate the daddy thing. I
hate that fifty shades of gray for sure. I don't understand why that's a
fantasy. Well, you call me daddy and I call you mommy. Funny.
I mean, it's like ridiculous, because it's ridiculous. This guy was
completely you want to do you want to lick my ear and call me daddy.
I'll pretend. Let's let's reanact the scene, but I'm not going to
touch your ear. I'm going to pretend to No, do it, you
can do it. I'll watch Eric Swinger and see if he gets aroused.
That won't happen. That will is not happening. Can we straighten eric out?
Okay? Ready, now remember your lying what you're lying? Wait before,
I prefer that you call me daddy before we do this. I just
want you guys just to make sure ask yourselves. Should we be doing this?
Do you want to do this? Is this thing a good thing to
do? No? No, and no, let's do it continue? Okay?
So okay, oh no, no, no, no, you go.
Now you got to ask me. Now, you got to ask me.
I'd like you to work my inner ear. No, lick in and
around my ears. I'd like you to lick in and around my ear.
And by the way, my ears are clean. I know. I'm sure
they are. I've plucked any hairs out of them. Am I really doing
this? Yes? Oh my god? What's the name for softcore porn that
actually makes you never want to look at a woman again? Here we go,
Okay, dude, oh Laura, there's somebody's mother. Okay, no,
no, no, no, you have now you have to say did
you like that? Did you like that? Baby? Yeah? And then
you said yeah, what yeah? What? Yeah? I prefer that you
say yeah, daddy, did you just throw up in your mouth? Yes,
daddy, I liked it a lot. Think about her. This was
awkward. That must have been will yeah, because there's no sexual tension here.
You guys are disgusting. I know, it just just grew. I
just licked your ear. Hey, I just want to say that I liked
it. Thousands of women got off in theaters to fifty Shades of Gray,
and that's basically what fifty Shades of Gray is. I want to know how
many wet underwear there is from people watching this. I want to know what
type of message they to clean up in those Oh my god, let's not
go there. Ew it is. Did you read fifty Shades of Gray?
Why? Reread halfway through? And then I just kind of all right,
so fi, yeah, all right, let's go. Literaure doesn't do it
for you. You're ready, That's not it. It's like nope, nothing,
okay, good good, You're still a gold star. I saw Laura
though, get a little bit of a bulge. Oh yeah, okay,
calling me a dude now, or I have a big I didn't say that
you have a big glitterist. Oh sorry, all right, that was Oh
sorry, I'm ashamed. I'm shamed. Then, yes, it did right
into We cannot be like this, we go down a rabbit hole. Ye,
hey, this is your fault. You initiated that you're looking thing.
You told me the dirty story. I know you made me reenacted and it
got him off. What were we expecting? Was you know what? So
I've licked your ear. I think I drank water out of your belly button.
I've smelled your butt. Oh yeah, you did, to see if
it was clean it. Yes, I gave him CPR. I what else
I do? Oh? I I didn't know I was doing this, but
in a thing called eat this, not that. He fed me his own,
fresh, clean cut pubic hair, which I put in my mouth.
He said it tasted like a feather. It was hair. I didn't swallow
it, no, but it tasted like it was like a feather. So
I took it out of my mouth. I was there was like it and
he's like dying. He's like collapsed to the floor crying. It was an
amazing moment. So I know a lot about that. When I knew I
really loved you, I don't want to know how much you know what occupation
was this guy? She went on the date with an attorney. No,
no, this is no, that's that's a difference. That's a different story.
I don't know. I thought you said he was attorney. No,
that's that's another that's somebody Else's somebody else. Oh, that's somebody else's date.
Anyway, I know, my god, oh my god. Anyway,
show notes, I'm going to have you know what, We're gonna have a
business meeting after the show. We should have had it before. I know,
we had a show meeting before this start. Getting him in the dark
did not make it any easier. I know, I should learn my lesson.
Anyway, before we get to your double d's and her horrible date,
what's your host chat? It was Betty, We already went over that I
watched. Oh so I watched a couple? Are you watching Feud Capoti versus
the Swans? I have no idea what that is. Oh my god,
come on, well I'll go ahead. Hold on. Oh god, he
just got off. I just got a wave. Okay, so, oh
my god, what is it on FX? I don't have cable? Where
can I find it? I haven't used cable? And you can watch it
on Hulu? Do you need like the extra stars? Subscription, though you
can watch it on Hulu. Oh I think my Hulu died. Oh god,
that mean my credit card was compromised. Long story short, I didn't
re upp it. You need to get you took Hulu out behind the shed
and put it down. You need to reinvest in it. I would,
I would if there was something worth watching. Really got it good? I
love who Yeah, I loved it when I had it. I like Peacock
a lot right now. I like Peacock two, Yes, very much so.
And oh in the Dai Leader, we'll talk about vander Pump. No,
we cannot. No, we will not, and we will not anyone
actually watches, yes they do. Oh yes, never gets any marketing material,
which makes me think, oh no, I don't know where you've been.
It's good. You guys aren't like the slumps of reality TV. No,
we are not the top building totally okay, and I say this with
respect. You don't know what the hell you're talking about? How to find
out? You really don't? It is amazing. Let me find the ratings.
Watch fine, fine, fine, what Eric? What did you watch?
It's a movie on Netflix called The Nest. Oh I've seen that.
I've seen boring. Okay, so boring. I didn't get to the end
because I was like, I don't know, I don't want to do I
want to invest any more time in this? Is it worth the end?
It? Okay? So you know, I don't think you should take his
recommendation on this. You should probably shut your pie hole. It's boring.
No, I stayed awake for it. So that says something right there.
Okay, So there's that. And then this other thing that you mentioned,
which is on Hulu, which is called What Capoti Versus the Swans? Okay,
so it's about Truman Capoti and all the women in New York that were
socialites that he was friends with and then he turned on him on a dime.
And Okay, that sounds like, Oh I watched I see you.
Oh did you like it? Yes? You guys, it was I really
yes, I really really enjoyed it. Yes. Oh. I also watched
a really dumb movie called Free Lance with John Oh, no blame, it
was dumb. Yeah, it got like six percent on Rotten Tomatoes. I
should have known. My anti doodoo swears that the show Louder Milk on Netflix.
Have you seen the you haven't seen the ad for it. It has
that guy from Office Space, the guy that stars in Office Space in it,
he's the star and he plays recovering alcoholic who's kind of like an asshole,
and he leads these meetings and it's about like all these funny people that
come to the meeting. It's a comedy. Never heard of it, but
she thinks it is the most hysterical thing she's ever seen. So that's her
recommend decision. It's on Netflix. Is it dirty? Is it dirty?
For anti doodoo? It is dirty? Yes, for sure, it is.
Okay, Okay, is there anything else you need to tell us about
as far as what you watched? Okay, let's get to the daily dirt
round that music woo it's called laudermilk. Louder milk. Yeah, whoop's wrong
music? I know? Thank you. You don't have to sit in He
always does the speaking of reality. Now here's Eric. You know what I'm
gonna do. I'm gonna drive this pen into your ear right now. Lar
and Marcus Jordan's remove each other from social media. Larsa Pippen is on the
Real Housewives of Miami. Oh, Scottie Pippen's wife whatever and her new boyfriend
and her remove each other from social media, which is leading everyone to speculate
that they are on the outs. Uh. A Pink fan at a recent
Pink concert went into labor in the middle of the mash pit. So Pink
pauses the concert and they are like, nine months pregnant. You should not
be going to I would give any thing to be that kid that was would
be like I was born in the mosh pit at a cool That would be
great. So you're going nine months you could do a concert, a real
like you know, which are like super Let's give her the benefit of the
doubt. Maybe he was early or shem. I feel like I'm nine months
pregnant. I remember doing things when I was eight months pregnant. I was
like, yeah, well you can do things. But did you go to
a like a concert which you're gonna be there for like six hours. It's
gonna be super loud. People are going to jostle into you, you know,
so I might hit your stomach. Yeah, I would probably, I
would have probably. Don't care. Well, I mean it wouldn't be you
know, I wouldn't be in a mosh pit. You are correct, yes,
And we know how Laura is a concert. She would have listened to
one song and then went shopping at a concert. Yeah, John, Yeah,
yeah, we know, we know, we know, we know your
your Oh my god. You would have listened to her singing like Razor Glass
or something and then would have gone to those I had the best time.
I find it per disrespectful, didn't Yeah, I did it in my own
way, did so much? You left after forty five minutes? He did?
She like, she's like. I listened to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,
and then I went to the Elton John shop, and then I went to
the merch shop, and then I walked around the outside of those cart got
declined. So then she left the show. And then I walked around and
I heard him singing, and I saw from different angles, and then I
heard him singing at the concert. And then you got tired and went home.
I took some cool picture. That's my baby. Oh that's making you.
The next time you get Elton John tickets, you have to give them
to me, by law. Well, he's not touring anymore, so that
won't happen. Well, well, someone I want, He says that,
But they've all they've been known to come back Arctic monkeys. If bon Jovi
ever does tour. Uh oh oh oh oh. I was going to say
something about Dogstar I may have well, okay, drop it, yeah,
just say it, drop it like tell us wait, stop think craft,
Yes, give us what you can without blowing anything. I'll just blow it.
I really just know. I got another email. There might be something
else coming for Brian. Holy fuck? Is he made out of blood and
skin and hair? And will he come walking in here? I cannot confirm
or deny at this anything. I just love that that Keane sent me something
he can tell you. He's like this kid again, God damn it,
Like God only knows what the story he's made up. I'm annoying him through
you guys. I have no controls right now. I'm not embarrassed, but
I feel he's like he's like, oh, you're this guy. I know
this guy's had to sign so much ship for him. So up, everybody.
I haven't asked for anything because I was such a nuisance, never asked
for anything. You go to be the only fan he's ever been mean to
come and see Bri and he'll be like hell no, He's like I hate
that guy. He's like, I please finish my Hollywood Report said grief,
oh you too? Now you want to get back on track after He's like,
yeah, business because we're having fun. I'm all business, my god,
okay, I never have fun. I'm all business. I've never you
have a wardrobe just full of shirts that Kean begrudgedly sent me because Eric won't
leave him. The know, I have a line for a mouth, you
know him with the emails and games. It's great, it's great. I
appreciate it. I just also feel bad for k Oh, my god,
that's so funny. You're gonna be that guy. That guy a me.
He's sending the email and my name. He's like, Hi, this is
great. Now was bugging me? A dog star? You know a restraining
order against us? Probably? Yeah? Oh oh, that would be hilarious.
Let me see if I can work on that. Be careful. Two
men attempt to break into the into Jada Pinkett Smith's house with her inside.
That's scary. Do you know how she got them to leave? She slapped
them. She started telling stories about Will Smith. I'm kidding. She started
complaining about her life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. It's on.
Between Ozzy Osbourne and Kanye West. Oh yeah, I saw this.
Ozzy Osbourne is pissed that Kanye West used an unauthorized sample. He called Kanye
an anti semite and said quote, I want no a ssay she issue with
this man, which is fair universally ringing throughout the rest of the nation.
May I make a comment about post Malone loved his entire look at the super
He's sang America the Beautiful before the national anthem, and he did a great
job. He has his whole entire mouth is just one giant grill, well
up and uppers and lowers and you know, all his face tattoos. He's
wearing this jewelry. I'm like, this look is so cool. No,
I loved it. I'm going to come in wearing I thought he did a
great I'm going to come in wearing a fold. He's a really nice guy
though, he's really cool. Looks he just looks dirty. Yeah, he
looks home. Now we have jelly roll with all of Oh that I can't,
I can't with that. Yeah, continue, you know what, I'm
gonna change my name. What little Debbie Jesus sounds about right. We'll come
right, come out right after the subway call you a little subway mistake.
It feels like not enough people the music industry stand up and declare what a
horrible person Kanye West is. Thankfully we still have Ozzy Osbourne with us.
Oz, I think they can't see you. Oh, I think everyone knows
Kanye is Kanye. Like it's it's like the same thing as Trump. Everyone
knows who Trump is. There's not like, yeah, Shelley, you don't
need to constantly be like, oh, it's terrible. It's like it's Kanye,
you know he is? He went He went off on Kanye on social
media. Apparently, Kanye had asked permission to use a sample of Ozzy Osbourn
performing the Black Sabbath classic iron Man, and Ozzy refused, but he used
it anyway during a listening party for his new album Vultures. It is messed
up though, Yeah, you just get sued, so he's not happy.
Oh I don't care about this. I care about this because I am obsessed
with this song. Justin. Timberlake is reportedly considering a tell all interview with
Oprah. Her show isn't even on the air anymore. I don't understand.
Okay, look, this is what okay to put his issues with Britney spears
to rest. Source to say he's frustrated that they're overshadow during the overshadowing the
new album he's about to drop. Oh okay, Justin Timberlake would love for
people to be talking about his new music. Unfortunately, the world can't seem
to get past his relationship with Brittany, even though it's been over more than
twenty years. I think his new song Selfish is awesome. I love it.
I love it. I love it, I love it, I love
it. It is so it's such a celebrity thing to do, to complain
that you're that your highly publicized life is coming, you know, is blocking
people from realizing how great you are. It's helping him, I mean even
if but he I saw him say, like, I am apologizing to effing
no one like he from being a douchebag. Supposedly, Brittany in her book
said what that he made her get an abortion? Okay, how do you
make someone do that? Well, it encouraged her, I guess too.
And then she came back and said, oh, I'm sorry if I offended
anybody with anything that I wrote in my book. And then Justin said I'm
not apolologizing for an effing thing or something like that. Yeah, I don't
care, And who cares. He's a celebrity. They're all terrible people.
She's insane. He's probably terrible. No, they're not all terrible. You're
right, you're right, right. You just said post Malone was super nice
and Keanu Reeves is great. Oh well, Keanu Reeves is like a god
among celebrities everybody. Tom Cruise is super cool. Dude, Tom. Yeah,
he's a whack job. Yeah, I don't know, nice to his
fans, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Demi Moore kept the clay pots she
made with Patrick Swayzey during Ghost. She says they're pitiful and the saddest looking
things. I wonder they shouldn't make that. No, I don't think they
should make Ghost. Ghost is not actually a good movie. Oh it is
good. Can I ask which may be a stupid question? Okay, probably
is? But one hundred dollars is riding on this? Okay. During the
Super Bowl there was a commercial. They didn't say what it was for,
but it was Ariana Grande. It was a movie, right, Ariana Grande
wicked? Okay, I was like having trouble thinking of the name. I'm
like, it's a Broadway show. It's a Broadway show. It's a Broadway
show. And the person next to me said, no, this is a
remake of the Wizard of Oz. This is a remake which are the same
thing. You mean, is Wicked and the Wizard of Oz the same thing?
Yeah? They It kind of is the remake for the Wizard of all
allowed each other. Kind of, it's a retelling that there is a remake
of the Wizard of Oz coming and it's called the Wonderful Wizard of Oz or
the Wonderful World of Oz, something like that. Wicked. Wicked is an
offshoot that is about the it's the Witch, it's its own thing. I
mean, it is Wizard of Oz, but it's an independent story. So
who won the bed? Is that we can't see each other out and just
call it a draw away? Was heard about it? So just a remake
of Wizard of Oz? Yes, Well, no, because Wizard of Oz
is one story. I mean, it's that's the book. Just watching the
movie before Wicked came on the screen, that's what she thought it was.
And I'm like, no, this is the Broadway show, but it is.
It is the Boy Show. I saw the trailer. It looks weird.
I'm not gonna lie something about it looks weird. It looks kind of
future, too futuristic. I don't know. Also that the chick playing the
Witch doesn't look she looks not evil like she like. I don't know.
I thought me Lacunis did a really good job when they did Oz the Great
and Powerful playing the Wicked Witch. I have never seen Wicked me neither.
Oh really, I actually don't like The Wizard of Oz. That's like a
franchise you don't know as a movie, but as big of a movie buff
as you are, that's one that doesn't you at all. It's incredibly boring,
but it's so for it's time. I like to Return to Oz,
which Disney made in the nineties, because it was terrifying. It was so
scary and it was so dark. What about Oz? Which one's that?
That's the one with Michael Jackson just playing Oz, right? That was the
Whiz the Whiz? Oh God, isn't that offshoot? Yes? Okay,
thank you, it doesn't exist. Do you guys remember the Return to Oz
movie Disney maid Y, No, dude's so scary, so dark When do
they make that eighties? Nineties? I'd be like nineties, I don't remember
that. Don't finished my Hollywood? Oh no, you don't like being interrupted?
I know? Do you too want to Just the talent. It's the
talent, that's right. God, Okay, what I have one last thing.
I'm exhausted. Then if we skip it, it's not that big a
deal. Taylor Swift is threatening to sue a student for tracking her private jet.
She's threatening legal action against a college student who tracks celebrities private jets.
Her team calls it stalking and harassing behavior, even though the information he uses
is public. It's yeah, it's totally information. But she has recently downsized
to just one private jet all boo, and then she couldn't land it.
She couldn't land it during the Super Bowl at in Las Vegas because it was
all the runways were taken up by that, all the private plane spots were
taken up in all of Vegas's airport and all the three surrounding airports because there's
so many big wigs there and so many celebrities, so many celebrities, I
know, So that's why all the private jet spots were taken and she was
flying in from Tokyo because she had a performance. I'm sure there were deals
made and a plane was moved to make room for hers. I don't you
know what I'm mean saying she probably parked on the roof of one of the
hotels. The probably had coptured brashed her plane directly in someone's house. Oh
my god. Probably, Well she was there, thank god, Oh god,
the super Bowl could not have continued. That's right, there was a
super Bowl. I thought that was just a Taylor Swift concert. That's what
I said. She looks adorable. They look adorable together. Again. I'm
a little worried, a little worried for her, like you said earlier.
But it was cute seeing videos of them partying after the game, and they
were like making out and they just I don't know, anyway, I hope
they break up because that will be the greatest album she'll ever release. I
won't listen to it, but it will be an impeccable album. You threw
the football, all right, threw them awk continue my god, Wow,
that was some impressive lyricists. Touchdown into my end zone? God, that
just screams butt sex. Why is that touchdown endo my tight end oh my
god. Okay, now, Brian, turn the camera to yourself and play
your little your little music, because you have your own little wild card music
here. I'll turn that this is terrible music. Anyways, I have beef
with No, that's awkward. I look terribleness, was you do? Yeah,
they can come to YouTube. Uh. I got a text from Laura
over the weekend. Oh oh my god. Yeah, we're gonna talk about
it. Oh boy, oh no, come on, oh boy. And
of course I knew. I mean, I already knew I wasn't gonna get
an answer until today. He told me as much this morning. Back.
Yeah, anyways, let's just review the text real quick. Let me read
it out for everybody, and this, uh oh god, most of this
is in all caps. I'll preface with okay, all caps. Hi,
so very sorry to bother quote unquote the Prince on his day of rest.
But dot dot dot, it might be cool if you have a wild card
for Monday's live episode. No pressure, just at thought and again, dot
dot dot, I deeply apologize for disturbing you in any way, shape or
form on a precious weekend. But when the work week starts again, I
will wait with baited breath from a response from you, thank you. I
know she consulted with a thesaurus. I know some of these words are kind
of big for her. Sorry. I texted her this morning at nine forty
five, just saying, we'll do that's all the two words will do.
But oh my god, I would like to be texted like that from now
on. Oh. I was just like I heard because I well, I
started texting him. I'm like, oh wait, it's the weekend and it's
a work thing, so I'll rub it in. So I decided to really
give it to him. Anyways, but the king, But then I realized,
no, the King, you're the prince. He's the gester. Okay,
and anyways, on another note, I started watching Yellowstone. Oh okay
eight weeks. I just started season five. It's very good. Yeah,
it's also quite bad. I don't get. I don't understand. I really
I really enjoy it. I also love Kevin Costner. I'm a huge Kevin
Costner fan. He's very good in it. The storytelling is goes between really
good and quite awful through the seasons or just is it a one particular season
that's bad and no, uh, Season one is pretty pretty solid. But
have you watched it? No, I've I've been wanting to. Oh,
okay. There are some characters that they pose to be villains, except they're
nothing but sympathetic because everyone's a jerk to them. And also there are some
people that are meant to be villains that don't do anything, so it's hard
for them to be villains. Also, there is like a main overarching plot
to the entire show that barely ever gets talked about, so I don't know.
It is an interesting show. It's also a little ridiculous sometimes for just
being about a ranch. Do you need I feel like I need to like
set aside a lot of time to start that I would call it it's like
did you watch Breaking Bad five times? Okay, it's less serious than Breaking
Bad. It's like I would call it kind of a water down version of
Breaking Bad. So it's like it's got good drama, but it's a little
mellow drama where you go, okay, whatever, like similar kind of thing
ex Pats on Amazon Prime with Wow Yellow Yellowstone is good. It makes you
want to be a cowboy a little bit. And there are there are certain
like scenes like showing all the cowboys together, all their Wranglers. They are
super fun and great, but the the overall drama sometimes I'm like, what
the what's it's weird? Like why that doesn't make sense? But it's good.
It's fun show. Kevin Costn is great in it. Yeah, he's
super good. What's your favorite Kevin Costner movie? Oh, definitely Robin Hood.
Huh, Prince of Thieves, Field of Dreams. No, it's gonna
be Robin Hood and it's gonna Dances with Wolves. Oh yeah, and then
probably about that one. I liked him in The Highwaymen with Widy Harrelson.
They were they were the guys that took down Bonnie and Clyde. Okay,
okay, I don't remember that one. But I love Kevin Costner. He's
really good in it. All right, So, uh, out of ten,
what do you give it? It goes? It varies between the seven
and eight. First season is really good. Second season is also really good.
Beyond that it starts, it's still good. Gets a little too intense
sometimes for a show about a ranch. But okay, you know, uh
so we're about to end, right, but not before Eric Rimmer reads the
last thing he he typed on his phone? What was that? Who?
Was it to What was it? And I want to know what it said?
I thought it was Thursday. What were you typing? I can see
it from here. What it actually says is God, these sons of bitches
are pissing me off so much today. No, he was like probably texting
bestI number three or bestie number one. No, it's about a meeting.
Okay, we're doing We're like actually doing like a show. It's actual and
it's actually live. Some of us have jobs. Sometimes we have to take
care of things. Sometimes things Papa wow. Okay, So on Thursday,
I have my outfit of the month, which has been a few months if
I've done it. But no, we're gonna have a live fashion show.
You guys are gonna like it. I think you're really gonna like it.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, And I'm gonna ask the question to
both of you. What, oh, I will not marry you? Don't
please? Don't pop that. I was not going there. Do you want
to lick my ear? Again? I was not going there. I can
answer that question. What are you? Don't answer this right now? After
I say this sentence, I'm going to say love your podcast, and so
are you, and don't answer it or I will be very furious because we're
saving us for Thursday. Okay, what are you a Karen about? Oh?
Nothing, Love your podcast. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you
guys, Thank you guys for watching. I don't think I am really doing
it. I know, well, we're not discussing it right now. Why
not, We're discussing it Thursday. Come no, Brian, Brian, know
what Eric's Karen about? Oh I am bye bye Leo. Okay, say
the lock out. I love you. I'm not saying it back right now.
You better. I'm just gonna sit here and just stare the entire hour.
I'm going to press the button. Somebody needs to love you. Just
hurry and say it else. Love your podcast, Thank you, Love you
my sweet babies. I love you. Love your podcast.