WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:10.519 Hey, hey, I'm back with something for you to think about dating in 2 00:00:10.679 --> 00:00:18.800 today's society or dating in today's world. We all know that things are not 3 00:00:18.960 --> 00:00:26.239 as they seen. That didn't just start. Things are not as they seen. 4 00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:36.719 Has always been a thing because people present to you one way when they're 5 00:00:36.759 --> 00:00:49.640 actually another. So dating today it's different then back years ago, it's different. 6 00:00:50.200 --> 00:00:57.000 It is so different. People are different because now any and everything goes. 7 00:00:59.159 --> 00:01:07.680 Everything that's good they make it bad. Everything bad, they make it 8 00:01:07.719 --> 00:01:15.879 good. So people are doing any and everything. You honestly don't know what 9 00:01:15.920 --> 00:01:23.959 you're gonna get. You just don't know because people are so fake and full 10 00:01:23.959 --> 00:01:30.200 of contense. You really don't know what you're gonna get. You have individuals 11 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:34.439 look one way when they are another, So you have to be careful. 12 00:01:36.200 --> 00:01:42.599 You have to be able to ask tough questions, some questions that some people 13 00:01:42.640 --> 00:01:49.760 won't like you asking. You gotta ask tough questions if you want to get 14 00:01:49.799 --> 00:01:59.079 the truth. You have to ask the tough questions because nowadays, like I 15 00:01:59.120 --> 00:02:05.719 said, it is not what it seems. People are not who they pretend 16 00:02:05.799 --> 00:02:10.680 to be. So you don't ask questions, you find yourself in situations that 17 00:02:10.759 --> 00:02:20.080 you really didn't have to be in had you ask questions or looked into things. 18 00:02:21.400 --> 00:02:24.039 I hate to say it, but you just can't take people word for 19 00:02:24.159 --> 00:02:32.080 things because they lie. They will lie boldly, right in your face, 20 00:02:32.560 --> 00:02:38.039 looking so serious, but lying the whole time. So you have to be 21 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:42.639 able to communicate. You have to be able to ask questions, and you 22 00:02:43.039 --> 00:02:51.719 must be able to google. Go. Yeah, I mean seriously, seriously, 23 00:02:52.319 --> 00:03:00.120 you have to because things that you need to know, a lot of 24 00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:07.039 times they're gonna keep from you. They're gonna sugarcoat it, or they're not 25 00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:15.560 gonna tell you at all. Soul, Hey, you have to You have 26 00:03:15.719 --> 00:03:21.639 to ask questions, and you have to be able to do a little footwork 27 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:29.280 on your own, little research. And I know that may sound tacky to 28 00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:32.319 some people. Oh well if it does, but I'm telling you the truth. 29 00:03:34.680 --> 00:03:39.240 I'm telling you the truth. I know people who are with individuals, 30 00:03:39.520 --> 00:03:43.879 have they google, they would have found out they've been to prison and all 31 00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:50.560 kinds of stuff, but no, they just loved that person so much. 32 00:03:51.960 --> 00:04:00.120 Then you come to find out they've been to prison on hard drugs, but 33 00:04:00.159 --> 00:04:06.039 they just refused to want to accept the truth, so they try to avoid 34 00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:11.599 it. You can do whatever you want, But the truth is still the 35 00:04:11.639 --> 00:04:17.800 truth. You can't change what once was or what has happened. You can't. 36 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:24.040 And then you know nowadays on the internet, once it's on there, 37 00:04:24.120 --> 00:04:35.160 it's on there for anyone to go look at anyone. A lot of people 38 00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:45.279 are out there wanting to be in relationships. But I will tell you as 39 00:04:45.319 --> 00:04:54.160 I always tell you, start a relationship off by getting to know yourself. 40 00:04:54.600 --> 00:05:00.199 That's the first relationship outside of God. That's the first relationships you should be 41 00:05:00.319 --> 00:05:08.879 in with yourself, getting to know you, loving you. If people would 42 00:05:08.920 --> 00:05:14.519 do that, If people will make the first relationship a relationship with self, 43 00:05:14.920 --> 00:05:23.720 I guarantee you many lives will be different. Many lives will be different because 44 00:05:24.120 --> 00:05:29.439 a lot of people get into relationships carrying their baggage. That's one thing. 45 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:36.199 You carry that baggage into your relationship. We can have it projecting your pain. 46 00:05:40.360 --> 00:05:44.079 So that's no good for a relationship, is no good for the individual. 47 00:05:44.439 --> 00:05:47.439 Then you have people who get into relationships but they don't love self. 48 00:05:47.759 --> 00:05:50.759 If you can't love yourself, how do you think you're gonna be able to 49 00:05:50.839 --> 00:05:58.639 love someone else when you having dealt with your own issues. When you don't 50 00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:09.519 love yourself, you are so in that mental state where you open yourself up 51 00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:15.720 to all types of shenanigans from other people. You open yourself up to things 52 00:06:15.720 --> 00:06:20.720 that you will normally do. You wouldn't normally be involved with people, you 53 00:06:20.759 --> 00:06:27.600 will normally hang out with all types of stuff. You open yourself up to 54 00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:33.319 these things because you have these unresolved in you, and it gives you that 55 00:06:33.519 --> 00:06:43.759 mindset that's not conducive to healthy living. Because so many people are blind by 56 00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:48.120 their feelings, their wants, their desires, their emotions. They're blind to 57 00:06:48.319 --> 00:06:56.199 reality. So they see everything that they want, but they don't see the 58 00:06:56.279 --> 00:06:59.920 truth. They don't see the red flowers, they don't see the signs, 59 00:07:01.160 --> 00:07:05.759 or they may see them, but they ignore them because of what they want. 60 00:07:09.720 --> 00:07:15.639 So dating in today's world, you must be careful. You must be 61 00:07:15.720 --> 00:07:24.519 careful because I'm telling you people look one way, but they are another. 62 00:07:25.319 --> 00:07:30.519 They are another. They know it and they're hoping you don't find out. 63 00:07:31.399 --> 00:07:35.000 Because a lot of people they're just not honest. They won't tell you the 64 00:07:35.079 --> 00:07:45.639 truth. You have some that that is you know they're gay, they're bisexual, 65 00:07:45.959 --> 00:07:53.399 which is still gay. Um, they're heterosexual, but they're cheaters. 66 00:07:54.199 --> 00:08:01.000 You just have to be inquisitive. You have to ask questions. You have 67 00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:07.920 to get to know that individual before you go falling in love on what you 68 00:08:09.079 --> 00:08:13.600 think is love. You need to get to know that person first, get 69 00:08:13.639 --> 00:08:16.279 to know who you're dealing with. But as I said, a lot of 70 00:08:16.279 --> 00:08:26.079 people don't do that because they don't even know self. And that sounds kinds 71 00:08:26.120 --> 00:08:30.639 of outlandish, but that is the case. Most times. People don't know 72 00:08:30.839 --> 00:08:37.840 self, but they spend time and energy trying to get to know they're significant 73 00:08:37.919 --> 00:08:43.600 others when they can't even figure out self. And all it does is lead 74 00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:52.320 people into bad situations with individuals that they shouldn't be with. There are a 75 00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:58.799 lot of miserable people in this world. Unfortunate, but it's true, a 76 00:08:58.919 --> 00:09:07.279 lot of miserable people who don't care nothing about anyone else nothing. They care 77 00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:11.120 nothing about anyone else. They think that other people are supposed to just take 78 00:09:11.639 --> 00:09:18.159 what they dish out. They're not courteous, they don't care about no one 79 00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:26.159 but self, and all it does is causes problem for people that's around them. 80 00:09:26.799 --> 00:09:31.639 And it causes problem for those individuals because everyone is not taking your crap. 81 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:37.919 Some people go along for whatever reason, but everyone is not gonna go 82 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:41.279 along with it. So it's important to get to know who you're with. 83 00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:46.360 A lot of people didn't find out they were with monsters until it was too 84 00:09:46.440 --> 00:09:56.480 late. Abusers, pedophiles, cheaters, liars, things, all types of 85 00:09:56.519 --> 00:10:03.360 things that people would have known had they asked questions, had they gotten to 86 00:10:03.399 --> 00:10:11.159 know who they were with. And these days and times, oh my goodness, 87 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:18.360 get to know who you're with, because, like I said, a 88 00:10:18.399 --> 00:10:24.519 lot of people look one way, but they are another. You think you 89 00:10:24.639 --> 00:10:31.519 got this person, you think it's a male, and then come to find 90 00:10:31.559 --> 00:10:37.320 out they were born female, and vice versa. It's a lot of that 91 00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:41.279 going on, you know. And it's okay with some people, and that's 92 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:46.200 fine if that's what you've liked, but it's not fair to someone who is 93 00:10:46.279 --> 00:10:52.799 really sincere about being in a relationship with who they're with. It's not fair 94 00:10:54.320 --> 00:11:03.080 that the other individual is lying and they're keeping very important information. That's not 95 00:11:03.320 --> 00:11:11.919 fair. That's not how you start a relationship. It's totally unfair. It's 96 00:11:11.960 --> 00:11:18.480 not right. It's wrong to lie to people when you know you're lying. 97 00:11:20.679 --> 00:11:26.559 So I would tell anyone get to know who you're wearing by all means necessary. 98 00:11:26.840 --> 00:11:33.919 Get to know them. So many people just want to feel. They 99 00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:41.679 just want to feel. They want affection, they want attention, they want 100 00:11:41.720 --> 00:11:43.000 all of these things, and when they get a little bit of it, 101 00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:52.840 lose their minds, They lose focus, They lose their minds because, oh, 102 00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:58.159 he or she they're giving me the attention that I've been yearning for it. 103 00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:11.240 They're showing me attention, they're giving me time. People lose their minds, 104 00:12:15.639 --> 00:12:20.080 you lose it, you lose focus. Then you find yourself caught up 105 00:12:22.080 --> 00:12:26.919 with people that you shouldn't have ever been with. You find yourself caught up 106 00:12:26.919 --> 00:12:33.240 in situations you never should have been in. People do this to themselves all 107 00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:41.720 of the time, because you know the old saying, the cart before the 108 00:12:41.799 --> 00:12:46.080 horse. It should be the horse and the cart, but a lot of 109 00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:54.159 people is the cart before the horse. So people fall head over heels and 110 00:12:54.320 --> 00:13:01.080 what they think, quote unquote think it's love. They fall head over heels 111 00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:16.320 only to find themselves and sometimes dangerous situations, definitely unhealthy situations, toxic all 112 00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:28.320 because they couldnt see past their feelings. There wants, they're desires. When 113 00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:35.720 you when you feel that the person you're with, you absolutely gotta have him 114 00:13:35.799 --> 00:13:39.919 or her, You love him or her, Do you really you have to 115 00:13:39.960 --> 00:13:48.080 look at it, do you really or is it just your emotions and your 116 00:13:48.120 --> 00:13:56.440 feelings speaking your lust of the flesh, Because I'm telling you people do it 117 00:13:56.759 --> 00:14:03.440 all of the time. They cannot seep as what they want. Everything else 118 00:14:03.000 --> 00:14:07.120 is out of the window. What they want, what they desire, how 119 00:14:07.159 --> 00:14:16.080 they feel. All of that trump's reality. It trumps the truth until people's 120 00:14:16.080 --> 00:14:22.799 eyes begin to open and they realize they are in terrible situations with terrible people. 121 00:14:24.840 --> 00:14:33.559 So it is something dating In today's world, you have people meeting online, 122 00:14:33.240 --> 00:14:37.960 being lied to, meeting online, being used, taking for granted. 123 00:14:39.159 --> 00:14:43.720 But people can't do that to you unless you willfully open yourself up to it. 124 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:50.759 People can't do you any kind of way unless you open yourself up to 125 00:14:50.840 --> 00:14:56.240 it. You have people being catfished every single day, giving out hundreds and 126 00:14:56.360 --> 00:15:03.519 thousands, in some even millions of dollars, and they've never seen that person, 127 00:15:03.799 --> 00:15:13.480 never seen that person one time, but they're caught up emotionally emotional feelings. 128 00:15:16.120 --> 00:15:22.720 People can be justice over the top, not ever meeting anyone in the 129 00:15:22.759 --> 00:15:28.080 physical, only emotionally, then meeting someone in the physical, because it all 130 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:35.559 boils down to emotions and feelings and things of that nature. That's the catalyst 131 00:15:35.639 --> 00:15:43.919 that drives why people want to be with each other. But still people go 132 00:15:43.039 --> 00:15:50.840 about it the wrong way. So you get caught up emotionally and you lose 133 00:15:50.919 --> 00:15:56.919 your mind. You don't think about anything else, just being with that person. 134 00:15:56.320 --> 00:16:07.159 But you're totally disregard the important things. Stuff that's right in your face 135 00:16:07.519 --> 00:16:15.759 you ignore because you're caught up emotionally. This is what happens in a lot 136 00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:22.159 of abusive relationship. Most of them people are in them. They got into 137 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:30.559 them the wrong way, ignoring the signs of the red flags. Get emotionally 138 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:38.080 involved because of those nuggets and niblets that I've talked about on my episodes. 139 00:16:38.360 --> 00:16:45.320 Those nuggets and niblets are little things that people do for you. Your significant 140 00:16:45.360 --> 00:16:49.919 other does little things, They do, little things they say to keep you 141 00:16:51.720 --> 00:16:55.919 where you are, to keep you with them. So they give you just 142 00:16:56.120 --> 00:17:03.559 enough here and there to make you feel good. But it's all about self 143 00:17:03.639 --> 00:17:12.640 gratification for them. But people miss all of this because of their own desires 144 00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:21.079 and their own emotions and feelings and things of that nature. If you are 145 00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:29.440 dating in today's world and you're not asking questions, you're not having a tough 146 00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:37.559 conversation you're not able to, you know, ask what you feel is necessary. 147 00:17:37.640 --> 00:17:48.359 That's a problem and you will undoubtedly suffer the consequences if you do not 148 00:17:49.759 --> 00:18:00.359 do your part. And getting to know who you're with, who you're getting 149 00:18:00.400 --> 00:18:11.519 with, it's important. It's important, and I know I harbored on that 150 00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:22.160 part a lot because sometimes it's the biggest factor because people get so caught up 151 00:18:22.200 --> 00:18:30.640 in their emotions and things they miss everything. But I do want to say 152 00:18:30.680 --> 00:18:41.279 that to getting to know your significant other or however you characterize him or her, 153 00:18:41.720 --> 00:18:48.559 getting to know them is of utmost importance. It really is. And 154 00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:55.240 it's not because of thinking that people are liars, they're manipulative, their deceit 155 00:18:55.279 --> 00:19:00.599 could and all of that, because everyone is not that way. But it 156 00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:06.200 does not matter. And people have told me so many times old I really 157 00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:11.839 fell in love because they were so nice, But then they realized that nice 158 00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:23.400 wasn't enough. So you have to get to know beyond the niceness, beyond 159 00:19:25.559 --> 00:19:30.720 whatever they do for you. You got to get to know them as a 160 00:19:30.839 --> 00:19:41.640 person, as an individual, because everything else it won't matter them being nice, 161 00:19:42.039 --> 00:19:48.240 them buying you gives them doing this and doing that none of us gonna 162 00:19:48.279 --> 00:19:53.039 matter. If they're not treating you right, you're not gonna care about any 163 00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:59.759 of that. You're not, So it's important to get to know who you're 164 00:19:59.799 --> 00:20:04.759 will are they who they pretend to be, because most people certainly are not. 165 00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:15.200 Only those who have dealt with their own inner issues and love themselves are 166 00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:22.160 able to present who they really are. People don't even understand it. I've 167 00:20:22.200 --> 00:20:26.839 heard people say, there's no way you know a person could be this way. 168 00:20:27.240 --> 00:20:32.640 There's no way a person could be that way because they can't be. 169 00:20:33.680 --> 00:20:40.880 They don't think anyone else can be. But if you love yourself, you 170 00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:44.880 want to be the best you that you can be, a lot of people 171 00:20:44.920 --> 00:20:48.759 won't understand you. But that's okay. They don't have to as long as 172 00:20:48.839 --> 00:20:55.720 you know when you love yourself, you're not giving no one or nothing power 173 00:20:55.880 --> 00:21:02.920 over you. But when you're dealing with individuals who have a like mindset, 174 00:21:04.519 --> 00:21:11.599 then a lot of times they are individuals who have their own unresolved issues that 175 00:21:12.200 --> 00:21:21.440 causes them to be controlling, very dominant, obsessive, possessive, abusive, 176 00:21:21.559 --> 00:21:32.799 all of those things can't do anything. Codependent or too independent beyond believer. 177 00:21:33.720 --> 00:21:44.720 Because some people are. You never know who you're gonna be with as a 178 00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:51.480 person unless you get to know them. Now. People will shuck and job 179 00:21:51.640 --> 00:21:56.960 you, they will fake and pretend, but they will always reveal who they 180 00:21:56.000 --> 00:22:07.720 really are at some point or another, always, without fail always, But 181 00:22:07.880 --> 00:22:15.440 you must do your part in getting to know them, seeing past your feelings, 182 00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:19.000 your wants, your desire, your heart, seeing past all of that 183 00:22:21.359 --> 00:22:26.160 to who they really are, being able to see the signs in the red 184 00:22:26.200 --> 00:22:33.960 flags because they are always there. I know that I can talk about this 185 00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:40.559 all day and all night. People still gonna do what they want to do, 186 00:22:40.799 --> 00:22:45.039 and you have that right. You have the right. But when you 187 00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:48.920 find yourself in the situation, you'll remember think on it by charity. You 188 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:59.880 will remember it. Because we all are responsible and accountable for what we open 189 00:23:00.039 --> 00:23:04.680 ourselves up too. We're all responsible and accountable for what we allow in our 190 00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:18.039 lives, all of us individually. I've told you many times you you teach 191 00:23:18.559 --> 00:23:23.640 any person in your life, it does not matter who it is. You 192 00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:33.039 teach him or her exactly how they can treat you, even when you do 193 00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:37.519 nothing. You teaching them how they can treat you. Because nothing says a 194 00:23:37.559 --> 00:23:51.720 lot doing nothing saying nothing A lot of times says a lot. And I 195 00:23:51.920 --> 00:24:02.839 promise you, I promise you, if you let them get away, you 196 00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:08.240 will see exactly what I mean, because they're coming back with some more crap. 197 00:24:10.119 --> 00:24:12.440 If you let them get away the first time, they are coming back 198 00:24:12.519 --> 00:24:23.759 with some more crap. Believe that, so be vigilant, be willing to 199 00:24:23.799 --> 00:24:30.200 ask the hard questions. If you see that you're not able to communicate with 200 00:24:30.279 --> 00:24:34.240 who you're with, you with the wrong person. See beyond your wants, 201 00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:37.279 your desires, you're feelings, your heart. See beyond all of that, 202 00:24:37.839 --> 00:24:45.319 because when it's all said and done, nothing is going to keep you together 203 00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:51.279 other than being in love with one another. People can stay together for many 204 00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:57.039 reasons. They can have many reasons, many excuses, and people do. 205 00:24:57.880 --> 00:25:07.480 But a lot of people people realize they're unhappy, they're not happy together, 206 00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:17.400 they don't even like each other. They're living separate lives. Because people would 207 00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:23.960 rather stay in a relationship miserable than be alone. I think it's the saddest 208 00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:30.039 thing, but it's the truth. That's why a lot of people don't want 209 00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:33.680 to start over. They don't want to have to deal with the dating game. 210 00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:41.480 They don't want to start over. It's up to you what you do. 211 00:25:41.640 --> 00:25:45.519 As always, I just was thinking about it and then thought I would 212 00:25:45.559 --> 00:25:52.480 put it out there. Listen, I want you to really think about it. 213 00:25:52.400 --> 00:26:02.519 If you're dating, think about what you're doing. See past your flesh, 214 00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:07.559 see past your heart. Because of your heart and mind are not positive 215 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:15.720 and on the same accord in sync, it's gonna lead you astrangth. You're 216 00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:26.359 gonna find yourself in bad situations, oftentimes with bad people. So I want 217 00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:36.720 you to really focus on what I've said, Let it get inside and marinate 218 00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:41.359 a little. While it's your life. You do what you want to do. 219 00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:48.519 I'm just giving you the information because we are living in some wicked times 220 00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:55.440 with some wicked people, and dating is tough because so many people. There 221 00:26:55.480 --> 00:27:00.119 are a million different names for relationships now, so many things going on. 222 00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:06.960 People like this type of person, they want you, the person over there. 223 00:27:07.960 --> 00:27:10.359 Oh, it's just a mess going on, you hear me. So 224 00:27:11.119 --> 00:27:25.400 it's so very super important that you get to know who you're dealing with while 225 00:27:25.480 --> 00:27:32.640 trying to date. In today's world. You gotta keep your eyes open for 226 00:27:32.680 --> 00:27:37.240 real, for real. And that's all I'm gonna say. Leaving it right 227 00:27:37.240 --> 00:27:41.039 there. Thank you so much for listening. Much love to you. You 228 00:27:41.319 --> 00:27:52.519 and you please share this episode and it's always I end every episode the same, 229 00:27:53.240 --> 00:28:00.359 and I hope you do it by on it.