Oh my gosh. Hello, welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. It feels
so good to say that. I feel like we've been gone for two months
or longer. I'm Laura Kane. This is Eric M. Gosh and we
have producer Ryan back in the last That's why we've been gone for a couple
of weeks, because we can't run the show without our Brian's laying in the
sun. I can't wait to hear about it. Like a little seashell.
We have a lot to tell you, guys about what we've been doing the
last two weeks. Two weeks we've been off, so a lot has happened
in those two weeks. I'm sure Brian has stories from his vacation is fabulous
vacation. You have stories from just life. I have tons and guess what's
back? What? Okay? Okay? First of all, hello everybody,
Thank you so much for tuning in on Instagram live and on YouTube live and
listening and watching after the fact. We appreciate it. And so what is
back? Is the secret sound? Oh yeah, we did this a long
time ago on the podcast years ago, where we play a sound and you
guys have to guess what the sound is whoever guesses the sound. Oh,
we didn't come up with the prize. Oh like okay, okay, let's
let's talk it out right now. Okay. Money is always good. Money's
always good money. Who doesn't want to prize money? Prize? You don't
have any money? Well, three of us, we're gonna have to come
up with three of us. I get money for coming here. I know
it was her idea. Hey, buddy, hey, partner, Hey,
co host, ponying up fifty bucks. All pony up fifty bucks. It'll
be one hundred dollars because it's a do free. Hey, that's Laura's last
fifty bucks. So something there. Here you go. This is how much
I love our listeners and I want them to win. Oh I don't want
money. I want gold. Well you have some probably gold thing in your
bedroom somewhere, don't you. I have some gold stuff, but I'm not
willing to part with it means stuff something to me? How about a hundred
bucks? All right? Whoever guesses it correctly, You can guess it by
dming us. You can guess it by just sending us a message here.
If you're watching live, you can email us. Laura caane ad at Gmail.
You can. There are many ways you can get a hold of us
and guess that sound. Yes, So if you're on Instagram live, I
would suggest you maybe pop over to YouTube live because that way you'll be able
to hear it. That's right for the first time. But I have a
feeling we're going to be playing it a lot because it's it's gonna be I
think it's gonna be hard to guess. I hope, I think it will
be. Okay, So here we go. Here is our Oh that was
sweet. She doesn't want any money, she's just happy we're back. Oh.
Well, when she guesses it and let's just suck up answer and she
guesses it right, she's gonna wamp out money, all right. Here we
go, see your sound twenty twenty four. Here it is. That's it.
Let's do a one. Let's do it again. It's Laura dragging her
phone across the ground. No, is that was that your first? Guy?
Honestly? No, Oh, I'm not actually guessing unless wait, if
I guess it right, I'll get that underbox. You're not gonna guess it
for this thing, even airs I already have one hundred. Was funny.
Laura's ovary rolling across my wooden florias, my last egg, my last viable
egg. So do you have any do you have any like thoughts about what
it could be? Kind of sounds like velcrow, something dragging. Okay,
let's just do it all right, one more time. Weren't time you secret
sound? One more time? Here we go. Oh geez. Okay,
sounds like you're running your hand off or running your hand across something semi soft.
I don't know, but guess what. You wouldn't get to play,
but it's fun that you're guessing. But I'm not going to say if you're
right or wrong. Yeah, no, I know. She's like some of
the bitch. His first guess was no rules, you can't play. Yeah,
you know what. You don't get to guess anymore. Okay, so
that's the secret sound. We'll play that until somebody guesses. And I remember,
if I remember correctly, it was like a long time before somebody guessed,
oh yeah, what the original secret sound was, and it took like
months it did, and finally somebody won and they want something good. Okay,
So let's talk about what we've been doing for the last two weeks before
we get into our sponsors. I want to talk about. Let's do so
much. The reason we were gone for two weeks is because mister Jones had
a fancy ass vacation with his familia. Did I a place that I've always
wanted to go? I cannot even wait to hear about it. Where were
you for the last two weeks? I actually we might want to do sponsors
for us because I have a little It might be a little bit of longer
one because I also brought pictures. Go ahead, well let's say that.
Yeah, well we have Laoya Cosmetic Surgery Center and we have capital growth in
Yes, we will get to them in a second. I've just been they
can wait. Well, I just want I got to hear about this vacation.
Okay. I went to Turks and Caicos for five days. Also was
in North Carolina for fourist days. It's great. It is stupidly humid and
hot. Oh bye, Yeah, no, it's bad. I'm sorry.
But the water is like clear as can be and as warm as can be.
The water is very clear and very like just walk right into it,
no problem, what I want. Yeah. Sand, the sand is annoyingly
soft. Actually, it makes it incredibly difficult to walk in because you take
one step and you like you sink up to your ankles in it. Oh
that's done for you. No, I have the lower body strength to pull
yourself out. No. Like it like it hurts the bottom of your feet
hurt. Like just the walk from like the bottom of the beach back to
the top is like genuinely a workout and it hurts the botmb of your feet.
Rough. Actually, poor guy was done. I would not I would.
I would tough it out. I think I would tough it out.
Yeah, I suffered a lot. Did you stay in an all inclusive resort
time place? We're definitely smaller resort on the block because we're also right next
door to the Ritz Carlton, which is incredibly expensive but very nice. Oh
yeah, so it was. Yeah, it was very nice and nice pool
actually, because the water there is incredibly salty, like stupidly salty, so
salty. Is actually really difficult to dive under the water because it's so dense.
Did you go snorkeling? And I did. I did, And I'll
show you some pictures in a second. Uh, which is fun until you
get salt water. You're like, you know, one hundred feet from the
shore and you get salt water in your eye and it burns like no other
because it's so salty. Oh my god, I'm so sad. I'm crying.
It Really it was really rough. It was I struggled a lot,
and it's something you really got naked and afraid. It's a great time.
It's a little funny because they all drive on the left side of the road
there, and there are also no traffic lights, so it's a little that's
a madness, great place. It's a little bit of madness. Actually is
Was it crowded? Was it? Did you go on an excursion? Yeah,
I also talked about that second. It wasn't. I wouldn't say it's
crowded. And apart from the the singles like Long Street, all the resorts
are on. It's actually it's a third world country. It's pretty pot fish
and it's incredibly expensive, more than San Diego. Really oh really, yeah.
I think milk was like sixteen bucks a gallon or something, oh maybe
twelve. It was a lot for the tour. Listen, that's nothing for
the grocery store. That's nothing for money bags. Cane here that I spend
thirty dollars on a Boba I would. I wouldn't. Jerks and Caicos I
would. Yeah, all right. Anyways, I brought a couple of pictures,
a couple of these from snorkeling, A couple of just from the beach
here is Oh wow, see that's how I imagine it. Look at those
just that water. I want to be in that clear blue water. I'm
craving that so much the more. Oh wow, that's cool. See this
is where all the celebrities go, Turks and Caicos starling. Oh there were
just offshore. There were a couple like five hundred million dollar yachts like just
out right out there. Beyonce and probably jay Z just hanging out there.
Oh really Yeah. We went to like the east west side of the island
where all the houses are and all the yachts are parked out front, and
it was something, do the houses are they nice? Uh? They are
pretty nice, not crazy nice, but they're like twelve to fourteen million cheese
And you can tell by the yacht parked out front. So of those pretty
blue fish, that water is just crystal. That really really cool photo.
Try my best I brought my GoPro so I had some fun. Wow,
it was stupidly difficult to get some of these photos because, like, you
know, some places, it's like twenty feet downs. I'm trying to dive
to the bottom and I look, for the life of me, can barely
get beneath the water because it's so dense and so salty. It's like the
dead sea. Could you is it floatable? Like, oh, yeah,
you can float almost on top of the water. Oh wow, that's oh
that's really pretty. Yeah, that water is everything to me. This is
right outside of like, this is the beach outside of resort, which was
actually the most boring beach we went to. Did you drink a lot?
I? The pool had a tiki bar right outside of it, and so
that was kind of nice, but I didn't drink it. Does it take
to get there from North Carolina only to like two and a half hours really
from here probably a long time. So and then this is actually interesting.
This is a kayak tour of a main Mangrove Bay that is about it's a
giant sandbar that's only underwater during high tide, and it's only about a foot
and a half deep, So you're kayaking like a foot and a half deep
water, but you can see sharks and like sea turtles and oh I want
to do that. See that water, that clear water is just yeah,
this part was really cool, some cool stuff. Then this is this actually
is from the Ritz Carlton. Did you sneak into the risk of Carlton?
I walked right in. Oh did you go in the pool and stuff?
No? I didn't. That pool was really nice. It was beautiful.
It's like two grand and nine. Oh my god, it is really nice
though. And then last I took this one, I think the last day.
Oh wow, look at that beautiful blue sky against the beautiful blue water.
It's just the way you'd picture Turks and caicos a place like it is
a little bit now, I will say, because I've also been to Hawaii,
there's a little bit more to do in It's actually not much to do
here besides on the beach. So after like, you know, fourist days,
you're like, okay, I could probably go now really well, because
you can. We sat on the beach like all day for like at least
one of the days, and then you'll you know, it's great. Then
you're like, okay, what do we do now though? For the rest
of the four days, So we did like that the kayaking tour, and
that was great. But it's definitely it's one of those things where it's just
go off outside the resort. There's not much because it is fun. Let's
see your face. You look a little tan, like a little bit.
You have a little bit more color, definite, a little more. I
was wondering, come back, Oh, you should see my my wrists because
I was the kayaking tour. I was wearing a rash guard like up to
my up to my wrist, and I forgot somehow to not put sunscreen on
the top of my hands, so those got burnt to a crisp. So
that was fun. Oh my gosh, Well do you have fun with your
family? See my sister graduate sister? Actually, oh, well, that
it's great. I'm really happy that you got to do that, and I'm
glad that you have fun. Maybe someday you can go. Probably, No,
I am going to somewhere with the water is warm and clear, where
there's huts on sticks, where it's like the Maldives or something. That's where
I'm going. I'm gonna be honest, I want to go on those huts
on the sticks in the water where there's the floor is made of. There's
the problem like all those Pacific islands, is that they are so stink and
flat and they are all just dirt and sand. There is like they are
the most boring looking places outside the beach. It's all about the water for
me, and I don't care. I just want to sit my butt down
and do nothing. It is all about the water for you. It's about
lots of sunscreen. Also, the UV index out there is something I've never
felt before. I mean, you could burn like fifes. Oh my gosh,
Eric, Yes, what did you do these last two weeks? Anything
exciting? I worked? Uh huh? I went and I saw Furiosa.
Oh no, I talked to you. That was right now you saw?
I saw, Oh you saw. I'm here. I'm sorry I left right,
We're right before I left, I saw for Yosa. So what do
you think of that? I suffer? Yes, it was after you left.
I saw it and I liked it a lot. It's good Fury Road,
but no, but it was really good. And then I just saw
did you just see perform? Do I have to remind you know? But
the other movie that I saw was Bad Boys, Ride or Die, and
it was good boring. I went and saw Ellen DeGeneres. I saw her
last stand up tour and she was performing at at the Balboa Theater. Oh
really, she's down here. Was she funny? Never struck me. I
never thought she was. Say no, her stand up is different, it's
not. It was sold out, and I think a lot of people went
to see it as a novelty because of the contravers that happened that caused her
to ender her show early. So I think there was a lot of people
that went just to see if she would say something, and she did.
Did she make jokes about herself being mean or toxic workplace jokes? Yeah,
and she did say she said, you know, I might be a lot
of things, but I'm not mean. And you know what it did to
her, what it did to her partner, So she got serious something.
Yeah. Yeah, And I mean, would you pay to see it again?
No? Oh okay. I was like, she was never that funny
to me. She's a good personality. But yeah, I thought she was
really good on her talk show. There's some people that their stand up just
is so different. And oh, speaking of stand up, we're doing it,
guys. Oh god, I'm already done. I'm proud of you.
Okay. So here's what's going on. Side note, I'm not ten,
I know, I'm just saying. Side note. We're doing the standoun Yeah,
okay, this, we're doing a stand up comedy routine, the three
of us, and we're gonna do a contest, and whoever loses, we're
gonna have a vote, and whoever loses has to perform that set at an
open night mic somewhere. Everybody vote for Laura. I might be the funniest
one, who knows. I might. I think Brian probably will be.
We know you won't be the funny one. I'm not the funny barely laugh
at anything. Yeah, well you laugh at you barely laugh at jokes.
So comedians don't always make jokes. They talk about situations and make them funny.
Comedians are funny though. Anyway, I'm proud of you Eric for working
on that already, because you were the hesitant one. Thank you, mommy.
Okay, so that's coming up. I said I got it done.
I didn't say I was going to perform it. Yeah, he's gonna he's
gonna do that and then he's gonna win, of course, Oh my god,
he's going to be the darling of the stand up circuit. I could
never stand. So, oh we're back. We're back on your shore.
We all tailor back to Yes. So you're going to love this, Brian.
So in line the people I went with Yes, So we were first
in line because it was a no phones performance, so you had to lock
your phones in these bags like they do it for you. So the show
started at seven point thirty. The doors opened at six thirty, so we
were there at like six fifteen, and we we wound up being the first
in line. And this woman comes up kind of to the side of me,
and you know that they've got it like roped off, and she kind
of stares at me and then looks down and doesn't say anything. And so
she she doesn't say a word the whole time. We're waiting for them to
and they're kind of messing around, and then they they're like, okay,
well open the gates, so they they do, and the minute they walk
over to start pulling the thing open, she looks at me and starts to
just fall forward. Oh oh, this woman doesn't. I'm like, oh
my god. So I reach out and I grab her and I'm like,
are you okay, and she goes, I don't feel good. Oh hell
no, oh hell no. The only thing I'm thinking in my mind is
oh, thank god you were not there. So these two women that were
behind her come rushing over, and the one woman just took control. Like
I'm still holding onto her, and this woman is grabbing onto the thing that
they were gonna pull and she's holding onto it, and all of a sudden,
she starts to go down and the woman goes, she's going down,
and I'm all, oh yeah, And so they one of the security people
come over and they're like, get a wheelchair, get some water. And
while they're waiting, you know that the one of the security people, you
know, a man and a woman. They're like, ma'am, you know,
did you have any water? You know? She's like I don't know.
And then she goes, I'm gonna throw up. Holy And at this
point, I'm all because I was dressed nice, and I'm all, oh,
no, let her go. I was like, they have a hold
of her, like, and they wheel over one of the big trash cans.
No, and so they stand her up and she's just all and I'm
like, oh my god, I'm all, can I go in, I
would left. That's almost worse to me than the actual act, like that
when somebody goes, I think I feel sick, Like I think I'm gonna
be sick. Oh my god, Like that makes me so freaked out.
I start sweating. And you know, at this point, there were so
many people helping her that I was just like, I'm just I'm out of
here. So that's not the worst part. Oh well, So you go
in and there they've got the music pumping and everything, and everybody's kind of
filing in and stuff. And I wasn't able to sit with my friends because
I bought my ticket at the last minute, so they were all sitting together.
But then I wound up being in the same row. But I was
like four or five seats down and I look up and I see someone running
and all of a sudden, two ushers come in with mops, oh kind
of big thing. So somebody. It wasn't this woman, because I thought,
oh, did she come in and throw up? It was somebody else.
So then I'm thinking, oh, I know, I was why did
we get so drunk before an Ellen show? I know, and I had
you, I know, you'd think, wow, what a bunch of parties,
you know, so I thought, oh, I better go to the
bathroom before it starts, because once it started, you couldn't get up.
You couldn't get up and do because I think, if I'm not mistaken,
I think the reason that it was no phones is they were shooting part of
it for Netflix or something, because she's gonna have a Netflix special. So
I knew we had like five minutes, so I run up to go to
the bathroom. They're all in there mopping everything. So somebody had totally puked
and then come down and sat in their seat and puked. Dude, who
the hell is Like, let's go to the Ellen degeneration. Who thought beforehand?
But then this is the funny thing that they had, like a warm
up come out, you know, like a guy who's probably gonna be like
you when you have to do your stand up in front of the open mind.
Was he good? No, not particularly, but I guess used to
be on her show or something, so he's kind of warming everybody up and
he goes okay, under no circumstances, no phones, and to watch people
look at these cases, like, you know, all the phones are in
this big case and you it's got a big lock on it, so you
can't open it. People are like trying to stick their fingers in and they're
just staring at the case like the phone's gonna magically like levitate out of it
or whatever. It was so funny and I was like, this is great,
like having my phone locked away for two hours. This is heaven.
So were the tickets expensive? No, they weren't at all. I think
they were like seventy five bucks or something. They were not expensive at all,
so he says, And there's signs everywhere in the lobby like no heckling,
no flash photography, no getting up and down, no yelling out to
her, no approaching the stage right, all these do notts. So she
comes out. So if you want Ellen, you suck. No, No,
it would have been like escorted out immediately. No. And so he
says, you know, because this is being shot or something, you can't
be yelling Ellen, I love you. Like when she comes out, you
can you can stand and applaud and stuff like that, but then you all
have to be quiet unless you're just laughing. Well, comedians like get off
on that sometimes sometimes they like they make jokes open, yes, but not
with like a special. Yeah, but I think because it was being filmed
or something, there was something, you know, there was all these don'ts,
no dues, just a lot of don'ts like clap and laugh, yes,
but everything else was a no. So of course she comes out and
everybody stands up and claps for her and everything. But he sits down and
some chick in the back goes like, of course, just doesn't pay any
attention to anything that she's been told. Did get reprimanded, No, but
they said, they said, if anybody is caught, I forget what it
was doing. You were immediately going to be escorted out of the theater if
you were caught talking or yeah, I mean they were. They were on
Netflix. Yeah, they were not having it fun. So active film set
basically, yeah, they're not having it. Speaking of an active film set,
Oh boy, I was on one today. Oh yeah, you were
for a while for a brand new La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center TV commercial.
Oh yes, it was really fun and they I was in a in my
element in a radio studio and they were just asking me questions and U and
it was it's gonna I don't know when it's gonna air. They all have
to put it together. But it was like a full on production lights,
a bunch of cameras, different angles, like, I'm sure you looked so
fetching. I wore red as usual because that's like my good color. I
showed cleavage because you know, boobs and everything and surgery, and uh,
I wore these big fake lashes I have on right now, which I put
on last night, uh, which are semi permanent, but they're coming off
because I didn't do it right. And okay, but here's my list of
things I've done. I'd write it all down, Okay. So, oh,
before I did the TV commercial today, I hosted a game on the
show on Rock one of five. I do what every other Yes, yes,
it's called the Newly Show game. She's amazing and it was so fun.
So I was on a radio show and then I did a TV commercial
today. Oh my god, yes, oh my god. I came home
and I laid down in the hammock that I bought myself for my birthday.
Do you see the hammock out there? I freaking love it. I took
a little nap. Okay, some good podcast right here. Oh my god,
No, look, I look at the giant list. So did I
tell you guys before you left, Brian that I'm training in the helicopter.
Yes, Okay, I talked about it. We'll check it out. Tomorrow
is my first day solo. I'm nervous as can be because it's it's uh,
there's a lot of moving parts. You're juggling a lot of things,
and you're I'm the photographer for the tv UH stations and guess what's gonna happen
tomorrow. It's gonna be hot, so guess so we're gonna be covering all
day long. Fire fire, fire, fire, firefar so anyway, but
I'm really excited. I'm super nervous in my first days tomorrow. Oh.
We had a girl day in Peebe, the girls and I for my late
birthday and it was super fun. I brought my hammock because it's portable,
and everybody made fun of me because I set it up on the beach.
Oh my god, even the lifeguard was laughing at me. Oh. My
sister came into town for Father's Day to celebrate our father's no longer with us,
so we spent it together and we got a tattoo from Anastasia at nothing
sacred tattoo in excuse me, excuse me, this was not run through me.
Well, Jenny got the main tattoo. She got my dad's signature on
her arm underneath and I Love you tattoo that she already has. And then
she got two flowers that have for kids' names. It's just so great.
And then I got Okay, so you know I have a tattoo of bracelets
on my arm, Well I got they're kind of scabbed up right now because
they're healing. But I got a couple charms added to it. I have
an L and cross already. I got a heart, a C, and
an E for Evan and Charlie. Oh I thought that was for me,
And uh, can it Can it be both? Yes, it can?
Eric and oh excellent? And sometimes I love it. And then sometimes I
look down and I go, this is permanent. I did this too myself.
Definitely an old lady tattoo. Why on God's green ears would you say
that that makes no sense whatsoever. I've never seen anyone under the age of
forty, maybe even fifty, with a bracelet tattoo. You are who I've
never even seen anybody with a bracelet text and a couple and they were never
young. Well that just, oh just makes me want to go over.
Do you want to go? It makes you want to go and get a
tramp stamp? No, but I'm getting another one. Oh my god,
I'll tell you. I'm designing it right now. That's going on with you
in tattoos all the time. Oh. I just love Anastasian. I love
what she does. Oh my god, and I have so many ideas just
have her. Yeah, seriously, my god, did you know that every
month is your you have a birth month flower? Did you know that?
Okay, okay, so yours is a snowdrop, tulip or a carnation,
So so is Charlie's. Evans is a rose, mine is a lily of
the valley, my dad's is a violet, and my mom's is a narcissus
or whatever. Narciss It's like, I don't know, it's like, it
sounds bad, it sounds bad, but it's pretty flower. So I want
to get like a design with all the flowers and just put it on the
top of my back, really small so it won't show all the time,
but I will have my whole family on my back. Your whole family is.
There're their initials, my mom and dad. We'll put them on there.
What's too much going on on there already? Well, what's two more?
I know? Right, that's why I figured I've got an eagle right
here, right now? Why not I just get my whole damn body touch
No, absolutely not, some reasons why not? No? Yeah, incondiction
is a real thing. But I know it's slow, I know, I
know. Oh, she goes all in like she's gonna by the end of
summer, she's going to be like half inked alone. Oh did you hear
what post Malone did to Steve O? No, Oh my god, this
is totally Steve O. Something he would do. He just turned fifty,
the jackass. He sat in a thing full of poop, nohing, no
good, I'd post Malone tattoo a penis on his face. He has a
penis on the top of his eyebrow for his fiftieth birthday and he had post
Belone do it. That's funny too. No, that's so stupid. What
an idiot, But that's that's Steve O. That's totally Steve. Okay,
two more things tomorrow, Evan Elizabeth turns twenty. Nope, it's her twentieth
birthday tomorrow, and she's in New York City and I'm so sad she turning.
So this is what I'm doing. I'm getting one of her friends.
Do you remember singing telegrams? Yeah? Okay, I don't think they exist
anymore. I don't think. But all of her friends are like theater people,
right, So I'm getting one of her friends too. I'm gonna get
with him later on tonight to write some lyrics to show up with where her
and her boyfriend are having like breakfast, and show up and costume and sing
her a happy birthdays from me, a singing telegram. Okay, does haven't
watched this podcast? No? Okay, and she's not tonight, she's doing
stuff tonight, and and no she doesn't. Neither of my kids do we
are good? How are you? They support you? And finally, oh
my god, do you see what Leo said? What do you say?
Twenty wow? The same age as Laura, oh Lee? How are you
age? Russia's sisters? I just call her my daughter for fun. Yeah.
The only thing that really says to your part is the old lady tattoo.
Oh my god, shut up, I'm just grandpa Yeah, Wednesday,
I'm going to Mexico to finally get my front four veneers because I was supposed
to get him last week. Because I have a gap in my tooth right
here, which never I my teeth used to be perfect. Could fix that.
No, I headed vis a line. They went right back, and
I hate it. I hated, I hated wonder. I just wanted a
quick fix, because quick nothing is nothing is sexier. I want you to
call me tonight when my upper and lower retainers are in. He wears them
every night. I wear I wear my retainer every night. No, I
tell you, if I was ever, if I ever had to call emergency
or something, they would think it was a crank call because it literally sounds
like I have my mouth full of food. He was the full like mouth
like mouthguard. Yeah, it's that a full like I have the wire retainer
and sex every night. Though. Well, I'm just that I just didn't
do it. Okay, a bunch of extra mind to go get your teeth
chiseled and well they're not going to file them down like vampire teeth. They
just filed the front part so they stick them on. But get this,
I was supposed to get them last week. But the dental hygienis dropped the
veneers and there was a crack in one of the teeth, and the dentist
said, I'm not putting those on your teeth. I'm like, thank you,
Like what am I doing? What am I doing? When she said
dropped, I thought she was going to say dead. Oh yeah, but
I'm telling you I got a root canal already from Mexico. It was great
and it was very affordable, and I am promoting that highly. Still can't
feel my job all that up. I'm not going there for a colonoscopy.
Oh my gosh, I would do so cheap. The leaf little present words
there, J there he is. Oh hey jayn the man. We're about
to talk about JA. But first I would like you to tease some thing
we're going to talk about in the double d Oh could it be jt oh?
Yeah? Any new stuff about JJ? Oh yeah, okay, yeah,
I got some info from a source of mine in la Ooh. This
is gonna be guest. But first we're going to talk about the man,
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Center dot com that says, I shaved my balls for this. Oh hello,
Eric, thank you for wearing such wonderful things on the podcast. It's
really really greatly appreciated. Where Okay, is that from TMU? Is that
from TMU? Where'd you get that hat? All? Right? What's going
on with justin Timberlake? Oh? Play the double deep music? Yay?
Yeah, here we go, now here we go? Now, I just
like listening to it. Said that you're beyond beautiful. Okay, say what
Jay said? You're beyond beautiful. Oh see, way beyond well? Thank
you? Oh jeez, he had to say that because he feels bad.
Don't oh sorry to Oh my god, that was you. You just naturally
do that. I don't know why, and that's I think that might not
be okay. If you want to HR, that'd be so. Do you
want to call HR? That would be me, would be me? Hi,
Hi, stop touching my book? Okay? Sorry? Can I do
it? Now? Are you going to be fed? I'm gonna have to
write you up? Oh? Please do all right? What are you going
to call me? Uh? Some some kind of employee? You're you're harassing
me? Oh great, it's actually harassing me. Oh that's the big one.
I know what sexual harassment. You're right up. I'm going to put
it in your file file on both of you. Yeah, we're probably better
create a file for me first. My file says, don't fire this man.
We can't function. We couldn't function for two weeks, it says,
all right, justin Timberlake, what they arrested for a d uy? Yes,
he says he had one moretini yep. So I found out last night
that he was originally pulled over by a cop who did not know who he
was, okay, and he let him off with a warning, and he
didn't. He said, do not drive. He said, don't drive.
He said, get an uber, get something, but don't drive. Cop
leaves and he's like, f you and just drove and then got arrested.
That's the luckiest thing that's ever happened. That hardly ever happened. Well,
that's supposed to happen. It's not if it's suspected of the UI. You
are that's a mandatory. Well, it's supposed to be like a mandatory you
get he got, He lucked out, lucked out, got out of it
and drove anyway, drove anyway and then got arrested. That's crazy. Well,
and it wasn't just the UI too. You a bunch of stuff in
the system, like uppers, cocaine. So you want to hear what I
had? So I have the list of what he allegedly had in his system.
Hold on to what should I hold on to the point to like he
looked crazy? He did, so all right, let's go buckle up,
bring it. He allegedly had traces of molly, poppers, true Vada,
and cocaine in his bloodstream following his d w I arrest in New York.
True vada is the drug that blocks you from getting HIV. Wait what yeah,
that's what? Why? Yeah? So that's like a prep drug.
It is HIV anti viral. Yeah. And poppers? What poppers are?
What? It's called amyl nitrate? Like I've never done it? Okay,
but how do you ingest that? You sniff it and it makes you very
relaxed, so you can take a you know, it's like a D,
a big D. It's like huffing. So this is like gay territory.
Is this gay territory we're talking about? What? Oh? This is not
good? I allegedly. It mostly just means he's probably having lots of unprotected
activities. Jessica Beal is like the hottest girl on the planet. This is
the thing what man that she's probably packing right now? Real quick? Do
you know what the other use for poppers are facilitating? Sorry I missed that
part. I was like, and it's not it's not giving it, it's
receiving it. What I mean? You also people just take it to get
high too, though, probably along with truvada. Oh that's right, you
said, take a big deal. I didn't that I missed that part.
Yeah, oh my interesting, it's a big cocktail. Big tail. You
two are gross? Oh my god, didn't so I saw that there was
a bunch of merchandise that that people started making with his mugshot on bringing Tipsy
back. Oh no, with his mugshot and then like some other things.
You've seen my T shirt with all of Lindsay Lowhand's mugshots on it, haven't
you? Probably every time I wear that, I get so many people stopping.
Well, I hope because there's like twelve of them. I hope that
well, she has come out of it. I love Lowhand so much and
she's now on the mend. I hope that whatever he's going through, I
hope that he gets help or you know, I don't know. I want
Brittany to be okay, Okay, anything new with Brittany. No, she's
still dancing around and she's colored outfits and instagram doing that. Okay. Uh.
Did you hear about Justin Bieber? Yes? Okay, what happened with
him? So he's broke? What going broke? Yeah, he's spending money.
He hasn't had an album out in a while. He just sold his
catalog for two hundred million. Oh yeah, and uh I read a story
today that he, oh god forbid, had to take a commercial flight instead
of private jet. And you know who else? I just saw this before
you came in. Jennifer Lopez was on a commercial flight alone. Like,
what's that all about? So did you hear that benefit had a total meltdown?
No, oh my god, went off on the paparazzi. But he's
done that before. Yeah, you know you're going to be married to Jennifer
Lopez and then that the photographers are taking pictures of you. Come on,
I know, get real. So are they together? Are they not together?
Are they getting divorced? Or they move it to have it? Do
you know anything more than than than what has been said? When we're done,
when we're on our take our break between shows, I'll call her and
see how she's doing. I wouldn't be surprised. Geez, what else is
going on? Have you seen Kim Kardashian's new haircut? No? Oh god,
you guys, it is awful. Is it a wig or a haircut?
It's that blondish gray color and it's like dreads okay, and these big
like weird bumps. It's so hideous. The the you know word on the
street is that nobody really cares for it. Okay, well she'll change it
in like five minutes. Oh and Taylor Swift, just I can already tell
you right now the relationship is Travis Kelsey. She did she did broke the
cardinal rule. So she got a tattoo. No, she hasn't given you
know, she hasn't gotten a ring yet. She brought him up on stage
during one of her concerts and he did some routine. Okay, No,
so the kiss of death is getting matching tattoos. No kiss a death or
getting his name, but kiss a death. I had heard a rumor that
she could be pregnant because they saw somebody saw her in a picture with like
supposedly a baby bump. Oh god. But then somebody said that lady gagat
too, So I don't know. They just probably had she probably had a
hamburg probably just probably what it was, she just had a hamburger. She
booped yet so oh and then I pulled this for you. This is important.
Okay, So did you guys watch the documentary Brats About the About the
Brat Pack that Andrew McCarthy did, so if you don't see it, you're
really not missing anything. I watched it. I thought it was going to
be really like behind the scenes and how it you know, and pretty much
all it was was a big SOB story about oh, you know, they
called us brats and I could have been the next Tom Cruise and my movie
that wham. It was just kind of ah. But I will say this,
because she is in our new is the two that came off the best
by far, because they look so good. Still we're Demi Moore and Roblo.
Oh yeah he did. He looked. He looks really good, and
so does Demi Moore. She is so smoking hot. The funniest one was
they remember in the Breakfast Club Ali Sheety, who played kind of the one
that's had the dandruff and everything. So they interview her in her apartment.
I'm assuming it was in New York and she You think that they would have
been like, hold on, well, while we're doing this shot of you,
we're going to remove like the dead you know, Plummeria or whatever it
is that's behind you. We're just gonna knock that out of the shot.
It would take like two seconds to it what's the stuff that they have at
Christmas? The big Yeah, it was a point like you filmed this in
like June get put it out on the balcony, like who cares to me?
Doesn't she have like a full frontal in her new movie like full on?
Have you seen the previous for that? No? It looks Let's talk
about how old she is. She is? I know, how sixty one?
She's sixty I thought she was sixty three. No, she's sixty one.
That is. She looks insane and she might be hitting it with Jojonahs,
who's thirty four. Ah, I love it for it girl, basically
screwing her son. Get it girl, get it girl. Listen. I
would hop the fence for that. Jojonahs are Demi? No, Demi?
She is so hot, Like, oh my god, come on, oh
I don't know, well, okay who okay? Older woman? Older?
We're talking like like like bracelet tattoos on wristage, yes, fifties sixties.
Is there any celebrity that you would consider, Hey, she's still guy going
on? I would I do? Let me. I'll give you some Isla
Fisher. She's in her fifties. Yeah, yeah, she's really Yeah,
she's a slush a bear and cone. Actually they just got divorced. I
believe she looks fantastic. Jennifer Conley. Have you watched the House of Sand
and Fog. Yeah, just watched that the other night. Oh my god,
it's so good. I feel like she did age a little severely in
the sense that she looks like she's a bitch. Now she looks so mean,
but she is still really pretty. And then also Rachel Weiss. Oh
yeah, okay, all right, I'll accept that. I like Diane Lane.
I think she looks great. She's in her sixties. I think I
love Jessica Lang. Shania Twain is pretty hot. Yeah, and she's up
there. Yeah, old girl's got it going on. Okay, okay,
I take it back. Ella Fisher's forty eight. Oh okay, Well she's
not the fifty mark up yet. Yeah, okay. This guy just needs
to go away. Nick Cannon insured his wiener for ten million. He has
twelve kids, that makes sense. He uses enough. That's enough, that's
more than enough. Enough. Little kid eleven too many, with like six
women or something in twelve too many. He wants to make more babies,
so he ensured his Wiener yeah. Oh my goodness, God help me.
Alec and Hilaria Baldwin. They're doing a family reality show on TLC. Is
that that's a bad idea? He just shot someone. Bad idea is a
terrible idea, although it's called on the bald Ones. Okay, Now,
I'd be interested to see because he has got like eight billion kids, right,
He's got like, yeah, ten kids, yeah, all with her,
or he's got some older ones, but he's younger, the one with
Kim Basinger, the one that he called yeah, okay, and then he
has all these little ones running around. I'd watch that. I think i'd
call it breaking bad. But the Baldwins, that's better than than the than
the bald One. I think my brain stem would just slide out. That's
what happens when I watch my Nity Fiancee, And that's what I want sometimes,
I want my brainstem to slide out because I don't want to be a
terrible person. Though, I mean, like, that's not like I'm surprised
TLC would allow that. He has quite a temper. Yeah, and I
know, oh they're but probably doing it just to make him look like he's
the great dead. Speaking of are you watching the documentary on Hulu. Oh,
I just started watching it last night. I think I know what you're
talking about. It has to be the same one. Go ahead, the
good Wife. Yes, Holy Mother of God, just wait, just wait,
Oh my god, this is insane. It just premiered on Hulu.
What's her name again? Her name is Cherry Peppini? Peppini? Yes,
the story of this woman who is this looks like the perfect wife, has
these two little kid kids, beautiful, beautiful husband, lovely life disappears.
Her husband finds her keys and her headphones on the grass near their home with
like hair pulled out, and he gets nervous, and then this whole thing
unfolds. Yeah, and all the twists and turn she is the twist crazy
And that's putting it mildly, mildly, mildly, all right? Is that
for the dirt? That is it? Well, guess what. That's it
for the show. But here's what we have coming up on Thursday. We
have the secret sound again and I'm gonna play that again. We also have
a mystery guest on the phone. This person is not going this person's going
to disguise their voice. And you, guys, since I know who this
person is. Have to ask this person yes or no questions to try to
guess who it is. I don't know, I don't know, I don't
know. Oh and then Eric and I have been discussing a new business plan.
Remember the business plan. Oh, yes, and we wanted we want
to flush it out and see what you think we could do with it.
Yes, so we're gonna discuss our new business plan, not flush it like
flesh it down the toilet. Well, we might need to do that,
we might need to get some sense talked into our heads. But anyway,
it's pretty out there. Anyway, Thank you so much for tuning in.
And and you know, watching us again. I know it seems like I've
been done forever for us. It feels like we've been gone for Oh.
I have a present for you before we leave, you do. I got
it at a store called five Below. You know that? Oh yes,
Oh my god, I want you to wear this at the grocery store because
you talk about this quite often. I saw this one like, oh hell
yeah, God always talks about how he cropped USTs, Like I'll twelve,
I do. There you go, crop duster. Wait, wait until you
see the shirt. I'm gonna wear next week. I have two. I
have another present for you also on Thursday. Oh thank you guys so much
for listening on or watching on Instagram live and on YouTube live, and for
watching listening period. We love you. Thank you so much, love you
and love your Thank you for supporting us. Yes, we appreciate that.
I love you too, so much. Let's let's let's lock it in.
I missed you and Brian a lot. I did too. I missed I
am I really missed. I missed you, but I did see you,
Lucky. I missed you Brian. I didn't think about you guys that much.
I'm sure you did. Did you think about me more than you thought
about Laura? Oh? Definitely. I love about Eric every day. I'm
sure I usually do. Though I don't think about Laura until I'm like about
to walk in the door. I'm like, crap, Laura's here. Uh
huh. That's how that's the feeling. I guess five comes in with I'm
kidding, that's not true. That's probably not true anyway, all right,
And this thing, it's up to you, buddy, pull the Yes,
oh you did, I did? What if I don't want to pull the
another one to do. Oh gosh right, all right, go for it.
I love you too. You already said that. Look stunning. Thank
you, You're welcome. Happy birthday, Evan Elizabeth, Happy birthday with me
too. Hey, let's go to New York. I know, can you
pay for it? Thank you? Go go go love your podcast. I
love you, my sweet sweet babies. Bye bye everybody, Bye,