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Yeah, Comedy Central Podcast pull up
and say some nights a question before you

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start like this, how many people
here have come because I was acting four

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good geeks is my fucking career.
It' s not me you really don

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' t feel. I see guilty
faces. Don' t feel bad.

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Don' t feel bad about me. This really doesn' t offend me.

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It takes a lot of pressure away
from me because I know no one

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expects much of this performance. This
is like when you' re going to

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make love to someone who has a
very small penis. Not that any little

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thing that makes you is already like
good, for look, for in the

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end it really seemed not. No. That' s my status at Comedy

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Central. I' m a very
small penis. Eye. Recently, a

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scientist came out on the newspaper to
ensure attention. He claimed he had done,

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a head transplant between two monkeys.
You know, I had picked up

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a monkey and put the other one' s head on it. No,

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and this gave me a lot of
hope. I mean, I' d

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volunteer for that experiment. You know, I want me to put it on

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a monkey' s head because,
like, the human doesn' t go

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so well with me. I mean, I' m forty years old,

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my career, you see, they' re coming down from hell, I

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mean, I don' t have
my own living apartment for rent, in

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fact, from the last month,
I mean, I don' t have

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a date right now until the complicated
thing. I mean, as a human

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being I' m a failure,
but as a monkey I' d be

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batting him. You know, I
figure you' re gonna go to work

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tomorrow, and we were fucking about
how the guy turned out a monkey to

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tell jokes, but he was good. What' s wrong with a fucking

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monkey. Ja was there, he
got on stage and he got to talk

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and he was trying to get out. Funny, pathetic way. It was

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like watching him zapping. Well,
Ja, not Ja, but good.

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There are also things that raise my
morale. No, there are things that

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raise my morale. For example,
the waiter under my house. He always

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calls me champion. You know,
it' s like the time to spare.

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The other day I was drunk and
I left without paying and he told

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me eh boy and it was like
ah I lost the crown. Not me,

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I think I screwed up. I
started shitting her when I picked out

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my stage name, not really my
real name is Dennis. But of stage

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name I put Tennis Horror as a
tribute to the movie Rockie Horror. Pixoseo

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thinking everyone knew her, you know, and no one' s ever known

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that fucking movie in Spain. Then
people started calling me a horror and I

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said good look what matters. You
know, it' s kind of the

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name of the queens, but,
you know, and the other day,

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in a dating with more comics,
a partner introduced me as attention makes a

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mistake and made me very angry.
That I was very angry that it hadn

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' t occurred to me, because
I think it defines me and not just

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as a comedian, but as a
person. You know, I' d

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take that name forever, that'
s the person who drops it like an

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aunt and tells me how I could
have made a mistake as much with you

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as you could have let me down
as an aunt. I' m Dani

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' s mistake. I was hoping, you know. The truth is,

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my first idols. Not on stage, they weren' t funny, they

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weren' t musicians. I really
liked heavy metal not as a teenager you

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knew for sure, because it'
s called' 80s Wash. No,

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well, I was a singer when
the situation ended. That one always ended

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if it didn' t, I
mean, it had the state infervorized towards

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that if people started ovationing, I
mean, that was the shit. Not

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me, when I get a notation
out, I always go like good,

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some nights then I wanted to get
off the stage. You know like a

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javy metal burst that just hit it, and I always leave like a teenager

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who just left a baby in the
trash, like oh. It' s

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funny, because it' s true
and it' s not. If you

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search me on Google, if you
search the Internet, one of the images

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you' re going to find of
me is a photo of me disguised as

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a Roman soldier with Packyring if it' s a series that maybe a couple

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of years old. I' m
not a Roman soldier and Pak Ring is

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a centurion, not in other words
the image, not in other words the

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Pak Ring and I of Romans is
not like the living nativity scene of the

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canyons, that is to say and
fuck me, because it' s like

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the most humiliating moment of my life
and it' s in the networks you

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know to see whoever I want not
and it worries that maybe Javid on other

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planets, extraterrestrial life and that one
day they begin to investigate in thousands of

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years what humanity was and one of
the documents that comes to them by waves

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is a video clip of Pakering and
say leader attention. We have found the

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most subnormal being in the known universe
and then you will find in the photo

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in that centurion state, me as
a soldier and you will say, as

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you hope there was another one with
less graduation here. Nothing is complicated to

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be funny, especially if you have
a beard. It' s very difficult

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to travel these days every time I' ve attacked this. You know,

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you know, you know, at
stations, I got pulled over when they

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were the last ones in Paris,
and they also stopped me when they were

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in London a few years ago.
Do not remember according to the attacks in

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London and I knew sold of the
performance in Barcelona by bus as you see

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Lopeto and had already met another comedian
of this channel, called Igir Rubin,

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that surely or will sound, because
it is one of the best comedians that

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is now in the channel and was
waiting for him. Two cops didn'

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t come to stop me. You
know how to document your comment, gentlemen,

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when they call you a gentleman,
you know, you know you'

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re in trouble. No, and
I' ll give it to him,

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he won' t tell me,
and it' s all here. Gentleman,

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nothing waiting for a friend already a
friend. Not much tension, no,

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but just more time came and Ggy
Rubin and I, Robin, who

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don' t know him. He' s a great comedian, he'

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s a very handsome boy. She' s very successful with girls, but

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we don' t know you.
We know he' s got a little

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bit of a pen. It'
s okay It' s okay. You

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can tell me if I' m
a friend of mine I' m telling

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you openly. You know, he
doesn' t get mad, and if

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he gets angry, he sticks too
loose. You know that one can'

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t be told, because at a
more tense moment when I already thought I

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was going to be stopped appeared and
g Rubin as an angel Savior. You

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know that day he was wearing some
fur gloves and he was taking one off.

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So and I see the police panic
look like they' re not terrorists,

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they' re faggots. And it
was very nice, because I,

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fuck, is the first time in
my life that one prejudice saves me from

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another. I' ve told you
before I don' t have a boyfriend

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now and I want to have a
girlfriend again, but it sucks. That

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doesn' t piss me off when
you' ve got 40 tacos. You

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know, I can' t go
out on a date anymore, or if

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you want to get there, I' ve got a hundicap that I think

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you' ve already noticed. Don' t mean I have a big nose

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and this I' ve learned creates
expectations. Some girls laugh at lost men.

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I' ll make a myth out
of the big- nosed men,

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a two- size, basically my
drama is that my nose spreads check,

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it' s that my pear can' t pay. No, but it

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' s very complicated. It'
s very complicated not to get, to

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get a girlfriend. I want to
get a girlfriend, but make it forever.

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Now why don' t I want
to cut again. Cutting with a

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girl is the saddest thing, which
is the worst thing to cut a relationship,

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not especially when you already live with
her. No, I mean,

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it' s time to break up
the house. It' s the saddest

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thing I' ll do and I' ll step aside because with my pride

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it happens to me the same as
with my nose, which is too big

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for my chances. I mean cut
with a girl. I got super proud

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and I told him you know that
take everything away from micrate with everything I

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' m going to throw away take
everything the next day I' m crying

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drunk with an empty room. No. No. No, no, no.

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No. It' s just one
thing happens to guys, that is,

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since when you' re in a
relationship, that is, it'

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s a stable relationship. You let
yourself go physically, you know, and

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the moment that that' s over, you haven' t noticed and you

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' ve become a little monster.
I noticed the other day. The other

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day I was walking out of the
elevator and there was this girl who was

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looking at the phone, no,
and I got out of here, and

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the guy did, as you know, what I' m saying. It

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' s okay. I was out
of my mind, I didn' t

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expect to see someone get scared,
you know, it' s normal,

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no, but after the initial or
something, it got back together and made

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a man. Warn it' s
like a visa. I have to warn

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you that I' m going to
the places I mean, at that point

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I' ve come to say oh
grubo so that people are preparing. I

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need a girlfriend, especially because I
have a problem. It' s just

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that I live in a very small
building. I' m a very poor

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person who lives in a very small
building. Okay, and there' s

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a five- year- old girl
who' s afraid of me. And

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of course I, when I had
a girlfriend in a fun situation, I

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was going down with my girlfriend.
The girl was hiding, the parents were

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laughing. My girlfriend laughed at a
nice situation. He doesn' t say

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I' m an otero of a
building. It' s already tense.

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You know and you don' t
know. It' s not that joy

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anymore. I don' t mean, I know God doesn' t want

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it, but I know it'
s that girl. God doesn' t

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want it. But as something happens
to him, I' m going to

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be the first suspect, I mean, obsessing, obsessing that girl is good.

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The point is, I' ve
started following her. I' m

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going to school to take pictures.
You know, I noticed who he'

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s with I put cameras in his
house. It doesn' t obsess your

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safety and I' m afraid this
can be misunderstood in some way. I

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don' t need a girlfriend,
because it' s very complicated. It

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' s very complicated, so a
fruitful relationship that' s not very complicated

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to maintain a relationship. I went
against it the other day. The other

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day she was in a bar and
the lady bar was a wonderful lady of

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about seventy years. No, and
it came out on the news about these

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powers of Santiago that they accuse of
killing their daughter. Not sure, older

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people, you know, affect him
a lot. No, sir, she

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got very angry and she told me
that I can' t understand these things

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happening, because killing your son is
worth it. But the two of you

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agree is just like this, ma' am, the idea of killing your

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son here a marriage is more reasonable, make plans together. You know,

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I mean, it' s been
hard It' s gonna be a relationship.

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It' s very hard to have
a relationship, to keep it,

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and it' s very easy for
you to fuck off. You know a

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reaction. It can be damaged by
a communication problem. You know what nonsense.

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I lost a relationship years ago because
we didn' t understand each other.

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You know a bad on, a
miscommunication. I won' t explain.

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I mean, I' d been
convincing her to try the golden rain

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for days. Okay, yeah,
let' s see, it' s

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okay to put people in someone else' s room. We' ll give

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a few seconds when we all know
not to see. In this case it

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was me about her, but if
I fire the other way around, I

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' d also be full. With
that, you know or what to say

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I' m not a fart.
The point is, we' ve been

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talking about the idea for days,
and one night we got home drunk.

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You know, we' re there
lovingly not and I went to the bathroom

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and I sat down to paramear,
because I, when I got drunk to

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my house, I felt like paraming. You know, if I' m

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in another house, I don'
t care, but in my house I

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know what can happen. I sit
down to pee,' cause then I

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have to scrub it. I was
sitting there and he was already looking at

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me. We were so cocky.
No, and I got that vicious point

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that gets us into it when you' re drunk and you get evil in

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your head. You don' t
know, and right before I peed at

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her, I looked at her and
I said you love her and I looked

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at her and she said yes,
of course. Then, speaking to him

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I saw what had happened, she
understood you love me. Hey, I

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' ve had it. It was
nice, because we never told each other

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I love you, I mean,
it was like the first time we recognized

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our love. You know, and
I mean, of course he really did

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say yes, yes, I love
you no, and I guess you were

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expecting a kiss, but hey didn' t count on Dani mistake and another

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one on something else, not that
he had to be worth it for this.

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It' s a little embarrassing.
I just got hit. This happens

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sometimes. There' s nothing wrong
with these cases. I always carry a

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chop, you know, so this
cuts me off. There' s nothing

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to say. That' s your
time. I' m sorry. It

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' s unprofessional, but I have
this no, no, no, no,

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don' t do that That'
s how you don' t applaud

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someone who' s doing more of
their job than saying that. Started Spain,

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you know it' s already,
already, it' s all controlled,

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it' s got plan and hello, tenni quiet, you' re

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in a performance. If you'
re reading, this is not going.

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All right, it' s okay. Take your time, but not too

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much. You see those people in
front of you are the audience. They

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' re waiting for something funny to
happen. They believe that, since they

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have paid an entrance, they have
the right to see a perfectly finished show.

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How unwary to explain is that in
life you don' t always get

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what you want doesn' t work. So, we' ve come to

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a point by reading to Dennie that
we must be honest now, this isn

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' t really a chop. You
wrote this gars thinking it would be funny,

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but it' s not working.
Danny, nobody' s laughing much.

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There' s starting to be some
tension and worst of all. Worst

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of all, you' re only
halfway through the sketch. You have to

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finish reading this fucking sheet, even
if nobody trusts me to be very funny

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anymore. You hear some nervous giggle
like waiting for this to go back at

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some point. He' s not
gonna do it. They' re already

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beginning to doubt that you have a
psychological problem. Imagine that this is broadcast

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on TV and someone turns on TV. Now Danny' s gonna see a

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cateto who' s barely capable of
reading. While a lot of people are

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laughing at him, they may think
you' re an eye- catcher,

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we only have a dignified way to
close this sketch. Do the only thing

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you know how to do in your
artistic career, make an abnormal face and

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throw a cultural cry. I mean, this sucks because I didn' t

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want to finish the performance. Cool
you know if it' s been a

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little anticlimatic and I don' t
know how to fix it, because I

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don' t have any more sketches. You know, I just have an

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idea. That occurred to me.
There' s a legend. There'

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s a legend with a comedian.
It' s such a rush you can

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ask for help next to humor.
It' s a character my uncle who

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helps comedians and nicknames, but you
have to help me summon her. You

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can do that for my audience.
We have. We have to get started.

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Okay. You have to say Come
on in the mood, first very

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low and then we go up.
Okay. Start with me Come on,

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come on, come on, let' s see you all alone, love.

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I came from a birthday. I
see a guñero. I asked him

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thanks for the fairies. He told
me that so he pulls out my pony

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and I waited for him how his
head will grow this and you believe in

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this, you believe in this.
It also costs rooms to see. You

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want to go out a room.
Well there was this a child was born

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dead end to see is oh my
ca tale worth it is funny, because

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it happens many times. Now I' m going to make a monologue for

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girls. They are worth our things, for example, not and there are

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only men. What' s wrong
with them? She likes to eat her

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dick and not like shopping, but
what would you do to that one?

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It never happened to you that you
have those moments, not like lucidity,

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what do you see your life like
from the outside, and you think about

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all the decisions that you' ve
made, that have taken you this particular

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moment, in space, in time. And you see yourself if you think

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what the fuck or ome two ice
cream where you love it. In my

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village, there' s a kid
you were doing, you' re sick

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of it, but I' ve
already put together a million plastic plugs and

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taken them so he' s entertained. Hahaha why. Because hospital clown sun.

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You know there' s already this
paraya hospital. What you guys were

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doing, hospital clowns. It'
s not like the craziest way to get

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public to see those people are fucking
enough, you have to go It'

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s like you' re in a
concentration camp and they' re bringing you

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into Banglou' s ear. No, no, better, no, but

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it' s this, this is
really true. I mean, I,

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uh, once went to the comedy
hospitals and there was this kid who was

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English. I didn' t know
how to make it go you know without

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then I started to make faces,
not make faces and I started screaming to

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laugh. I didn' t start
laughing and I said I was Fabry,

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I was Fary. No. He
tells you you' re a mother,

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you' re a fairy no and
I said okay he started playing dumb.

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It doesn' t start jumping not
like a fairy doesn' t. And

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you know if the guy laughed more
and more. I didn' t think

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you know they could do I don' t know how to be a fairy

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aga. I think love, I
think love, yes or no come,

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love comes. I believe love,
but it confuses me. I' m

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confused that a person with us sees
on the street falling in love with that

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person is so beautiful, she'
s so pure. I want to dedicate

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the rest of my days to making
it happy. Right. It' s

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been a month and you' re
saying what lets you run into his face.

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Not that it' s like oh
wa wob or, what happened here,

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there' s a month serious,
in a past esport I love you,

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00:19:52.440 --> 00:19:56.599
I want to make to Turre the
your car I the bedchando of my

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00:19:56.599 --> 00:20:00.039
dick. I want it in your
face. It doesn' t make any

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sense, it won' t give
me any pleasure, but I think it

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' s her place. I think
that' s fair, because my chicken

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00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:15.119
is very ugly and your face very
pretty. There' s what I just

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00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:19.039
thought. So let him throw the
liquid you beat the debugger of my dick

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to touch or you don' t
love me. The case that I finally

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00:20:34.039 --> 00:20:38.359
talked to central comidias, I decided
to record the sketch is told of humor

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and I told my girlfriend, well
now she' s already ex- girlfriend.

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I told him I' m gonna
do this. I didn' t

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tell him the kid' s story. You know the kid who told me

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you' re a fairy, you' re a fairy and she looked at

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00:20:51.119 --> 00:20:52.480
me and told me I had you. You know, in English, Fabe

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doesn' t mean anything. It
also means faggot, but you know.

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In a way, I' m
happy. I' m happy because I

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' ve got something with this,
it' s that the next time you

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see my picture with packaging Ring will
no longer be a more humiliating moment of

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00:21:18.759 --> 00:21:23.359
my life, because I' m
no longer damaging horror, I' m

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00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:25.000
no longer Dani error, I'
m no longer such a mistake. Now

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I' m forever. There'
s nothing. Dolo mor is enough sepramenos,