1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:16,079 Made a stan have things Sunny sun on I hadasion night. It's so good 2 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,440 to see you. I actually missed you and I don't know you very well, 3 00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:23,199 but i'd see our clips and I go, I miss her. I'd 4 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,280 like to see you again. I know, I know, wch or something. 5 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,559 As soon as I know, let's do that. As soon as I 6 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,519 finished your podcast, I was like, no, I feel like we're friends, 7 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,200 Like say to have her on my podcast, and like we have to 8 00:00:34,359 --> 00:00:38,320 because we shared so much. It was like a our podcast was like two 9 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:42,520 hours long, lit it. You were telling me, Yeah, I was 10 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:46,280 seeing so much stuff that I wouldn't that I wouldn't really talk about outside of 11 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,840 therapy. Like I was just like, really, yeah, just I was. 12 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,399 We were talking about our relationships with our mo. I mean, it 13 00:00:52,439 --> 00:00:54,640 was stuff that's not in the book, you know. I was like, 14 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,719 just went totally off off, we went off roading. Well. You know 15 00:00:58,799 --> 00:01:03,039 the thing about when you find someone who has a similar life experience, especially 16 00:01:03,079 --> 00:01:07,239 when it's as specific as that, it's kind of this sounds weird, but 17 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:11,840 it's kind of delicious, right where you're like, oh, give me what 18 00:01:11,879 --> 00:01:15,599 you got, because I got we got the same, you know, it's 19 00:01:15,599 --> 00:01:19,560 like someone who grew up in a boisonberry patch who did that? But some 20 00:01:19,599 --> 00:01:22,159 people did and then you go, oh, you have boys and berries too. 21 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,760 Hold on, this is good stuff with Oh we're going, oh, 22 00:01:25,799 --> 00:01:33,400 we're rowing. Special guest episode today with our special guest in studio is Leanne 23 00:01:33,439 --> 00:01:38,799 Kreischer, wife of the Party. That's your podcast. Sorry, excuse me, 24 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,359 welcome, Thank you so much for coming in. But I have a 25 00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:47,040 question. You have two kids, right, yeah? How old are they? 26 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:51,200 Nineteen and seventeen? Oh? Okay, yeah, I have seventeen year 27 00:01:51,239 --> 00:01:53,760 old twins. Oh my goodness, so they around the same means senior in 28 00:01:53,799 --> 00:01:57,480 high school? Mm hmmm, uh huh same. Yes, how's that going 29 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,879 for you? You know? Are the girls boys both boy? Girl? 30 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:07,400 Yeah? Gotcha? How's that going? It's you know, it's I'm trying 31 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:12,759 to spend as much time with them as I can, you know, because 32 00:02:13,159 --> 00:02:16,000 they're going to be God willing, they're going to be off and doing their 33 00:02:16,039 --> 00:02:23,199 thing soon, and their time is ticking. So and they're you know, 34 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,800 applying to colleges and all that. But so, uh, where where do 35 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:30,439 you guys live? Are you? Like in not specifically, but like you're 36 00:02:30,599 --> 00:02:34,479 what's your address. We live in Los Angeles, yeah, the same as 37 00:02:34,479 --> 00:02:38,000 you, not the valley. Like, yeah, I'm not going to say, 38 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,680 let's just say people have been showing up at my house, so I'm 39 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:44,280 going to say super non specific, we live in Los Angeles. Okay, 40 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,919 I can tell you later. That's fine. But so your kids are are 41 00:02:49,039 --> 00:02:52,840 they're planning? Are they applying to schools? Or are they? Yes? 42 00:02:53,319 --> 00:02:58,360 Yes, our seventeen year old is uh going away in the fall. Oh 43 00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:01,919 we Oh, seventeen year old is a senior. She's a senior. Yes, 44 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:06,960 she's July birthday, so she'll media eighteen me in August. So yeah, 45 00:03:07,319 --> 00:03:10,479 so she's a young August too. What's your birthday? Twentieth twenty sixth? 46 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:15,599 Nice? Fairgo what's your what's your daughter's birthday? July? What? 47 00:03:15,759 --> 00:03:21,879 July eighteenth? Okay, mine's July fifth? Oh independent say almost almost? 48 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,199 Yeah? Yeah, yeah, so so she already got her except she's she's 49 00:03:24,319 --> 00:03:28,319 planning it, she's going. Yes. Is she happy about where she got 50 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,280 in? Yes? Let me tell you something about our household. We are 51 00:03:30,319 --> 00:03:36,960 not academics, are college at all? Oh? Honey, I dropped out, 52 00:03:37,039 --> 00:03:40,599 I had no degree, didn't bird took seven years get undergrad. So, 53 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:45,439 oh my god, you're in You're in good company. Lynette did not 54 00:03:45,479 --> 00:03:47,919 go to college either, and cal Kaylan didn't either. Well, he went 55 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:52,879 to community college. I went to community college. That's about it. Yeah, 56 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:57,599 I dropped out of community college. Community college drop out. I dropped 57 00:03:57,599 --> 00:04:00,479 out in my fourth year. So how hard is that? I was like, 58 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,759 I got one more year. I'm out, man, I don't even 59 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,479 know if I want to do what I'm studying. I don't even know who 60 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:11,919 I am. I'm leaving Florida. I started out as a psychology major and 61 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,879 then I transferred schools and I didn't like their psych department, so I pivoted 62 00:04:15,879 --> 00:04:17,839 to finance because they're pretty similar. Yeah, oh the same. Yeah. 63 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,120 So and I got two years into finance and went, I don't want to 64 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:26,160 do this either. I'm moving to New York. So that's why. Where's 65 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:29,720 your accent from Georgia? Yeah? I grew up in a really small town 66 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,800 in Georgia, like sixteen hundred people. Wow, really small. Oh yeah, 67 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,680 I love the accent. Thank you. I can don't hear it anymore 68 00:04:34,879 --> 00:04:38,519 because you know, it's probably bad. Because I was talking to my dad 69 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,160 on the way over here and my dad is like, I ain't got no 70 00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:45,680 fish today. I've been fishing and got no fish. You know, he 71 00:04:45,759 --> 00:04:48,920 talks like that. Actually I don't anymore, but definitely when I talk to 72 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:53,720 him, it comes back out. It's funny because I was just doing a 73 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:59,040 Southern accent when I had my dog. So I live part time at a 74 00:04:59,079 --> 00:05:04,360 condo. Adam and I are doing this nesting thing. So a couple of 75 00:05:04,399 --> 00:05:08,360 days a week he's at the house with the kids. But this weekend we 76 00:05:08,399 --> 00:05:12,800 had we had to ship the dog out because we did a showing. We're 77 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,439 selling the house. So I had the dog at the house yesterday and I'm 78 00:05:15,439 --> 00:05:17,680 talking to him in a Southern accent all day, and I'm like, when 79 00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:23,480 did I get this Southern accent? So it's so especially when you're talking like 80 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:28,120 sweet, you know, like I love you so much. It's contagious. 81 00:05:28,439 --> 00:05:30,360 It's catching. As we say, we're all going to have it by the 82 00:05:30,399 --> 00:05:33,360 time by the time we're done today, I know. Right. So okay, 83 00:05:33,439 --> 00:05:38,040 so you're so, did your seventeen year old apply to a lot of 84 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,639 schools? You were saying that you're not academic. We did this with both 85 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,600 academic. No, we did that with both our kids. Our kids are 86 00:05:46,319 --> 00:05:53,000 our oldest daughter, Georgia is an average learner, average academic, you know, 87 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:58,240 AB's with very little effort. Yeah, no interest in ap anything. 88 00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:01,920 No, and we aren't either. So when it came time for college, 89 00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:05,439 I didn't want her in that kind of rat race. So we hired a 90 00:06:05,519 --> 00:06:12,240 private counselor and just went like this, Hey, we don't really care where 91 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,720 she goes or what she studies or if she goes at all, so will 92 00:06:15,759 --> 00:06:18,680 you just find out what she wants? Because she's going to tell us what 93 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,279 we want to hear and we're not really interested in that. We want to 94 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:27,680 know actually what she wants and then we'll execute on that. And this counselor 95 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:32,079 did that. She found out what Georgia wanted to study and learn and who 96 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:36,399 she was and how she wanted like her life to look in college, and 97 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:41,160 then applied to school's relative to that, and she got in everywhere she applied 98 00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:44,879 to and then we had the same esels like that worked. So with my 99 00:06:45,759 --> 00:06:54,519 massively dyslexic sent thory processing disorder, eemo, kid, can we just do 100 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:58,319 the same thing? Yeah? Yeah, my sixteen year old yeah girl, 101 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,399 yeah, yeah, seventeen year old girl, same, So we did the 102 00:07:00,399 --> 00:07:02,480 same thing for her, and we were like, don't need her to go 103 00:07:02,519 --> 00:07:06,560 to college, but if she wants to go to college, I need her 104 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:11,920 to go somewhere she's going to succeed and or at least give her the best 105 00:07:11,959 --> 00:07:15,680 shot of it. And we went to see this one school and Ila was 106 00:07:15,759 --> 00:07:18,000 like, that's it. I don't want to apply anywhere else. And I 107 00:07:18,199 --> 00:07:21,920 made her apply to four other schools, but she got into this the one 108 00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:27,800 she wanted, so she's like done, she's and we got both girls luckily 109 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:33,079 got accepted to their number one schools in October. So this whole like intense 110 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:39,360 whatever has didn't happen for our family, thank God, because we don't Burton, 111 00:07:39,399 --> 00:07:43,120 I don't really care. I mean the souls really kind of careless. 112 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:47,240 Yeah, but we don't really care. We really don't. And it's odd 113 00:07:47,279 --> 00:07:54,399 to be that parent in this like world today, absolutely you know where everything's 114 00:07:54,439 --> 00:07:57,439 about how many did you fly to? Like one of our closest friends, 115 00:07:57,519 --> 00:08:01,079 family friends daughter applied to twenty three school and I was like, why, 116 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,680 that's crazy. The stress of having to make a choice. You know, 117 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:07,279 if you go A or B, you're like, oh A, but if 118 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:09,839 you go ABC, D, E, F or G. You're like, 119 00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:13,720 I'm lost, I don't how do you even make that choice? You know? 120 00:08:13,079 --> 00:08:18,120 Yeah, we needed your counselor because my kids, I mean, we 121 00:08:18,199 --> 00:08:24,519 had a counselor that wasn't great, like steered my son in the long in 122 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:30,360 the wrong direction. Stephanie's her daughter's counselor's kind of the same. Really, 123 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:35,799 your counselor told her that she should apply for psychology because she was interested in 124 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:39,679 psychology and that was totally fine and there's no issue with that. And she 125 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:45,919 got rejected from every school that she applied to, pretty much because we found 126 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:52,039 out later that that psychology is very impacted major, right for kids now, 127 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:54,919 one of the hardest majors to get into. Besides, there's a few that 128 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,679 are impacted. And she would have gotten into better schools had she applied to 129 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:03,120 a differ, a more niche major, but she didn't know, and you 130 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,120 don't know until it's too late, and you pay all this money for this 131 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:09,399 private counselor and the one piece of advice that you could have really used, 132 00:09:09,919 --> 00:09:15,399 you know, is not there. So had she ended up at community college 133 00:09:15,919 --> 00:09:20,480 this year and then reapplied one year of community college and reapplied and now we're 134 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:24,360 finding out like results now. But yeah, such a stressful period. And 135 00:09:26,159 --> 00:09:31,639 my husband, my husband went to Syracuse, but his dad went to Princeton, 136 00:09:33,159 --> 00:09:37,200 and there were all these expectations. It was a very East Coast waspy 137 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:41,960 college, you know. I remember, like I said, I didn't go 138 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:46,000 at all. I took two classes at community college and dropped out. And 139 00:09:46,039 --> 00:09:50,600 I remember the first time I met my husband's parents and they were very like. 140 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:54,200 His dad said things about different about girls, like it was like Christmas 141 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:58,360 time, and he was like, oh, that's a Wendy. She's a 142 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:03,600 she to a fantastic school. And I was like, oh Jesus, this 143 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,759 is what I'm up against. So he and he didn't go to Princeton because 144 00:10:07,799 --> 00:10:09,480 he didn't have the grades to get in, but it was always like a 145 00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:16,159 disappointment to his dad. So I believe there's a little carry over in John's 146 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,960 mind, even though he doesn't mean to, he can't help have a little 147 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:24,399 bit of like status school. And it just makes me. It's hard because 148 00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:28,600 I don't want that to I'm like, you, I don't care. Yeah, 149 00:10:28,639 --> 00:10:31,799 I'm always like why didn't go to school? And I figured out my 150 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:37,000 way in life. So I think they what it takes is resiliency and hustle, 151 00:10:37,519 --> 00:10:41,399 and like those things are more important than I think a college degree. 152 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:46,679 Totally curiosity. It's curiosity. It's refreshing to hear from you, like because 153 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:52,279 the at least the kids that my kids are growing up with, I mean, 154 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:56,480 all their parents went to college. You know, both parents, you 155 00:10:56,519 --> 00:11:01,159 know, gone to these universities. It's a lot of person you just universities. 156 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,759 And it's like, my poor kids are like, like my son was 157 00:11:03,799 --> 00:11:07,720 saying, you know, he was he was frustrated because he got steered in 158 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,360 the wrong direction from our college counselor. And he was telling his friends. 159 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:15,080 He was telling me what he was telling and his friends. It was like, 160 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,440 you know, well, my friends, they all have these older siblings 161 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:22,679 that are already done it. They're already at schools all these other colleges, 162 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,200 and then you know, their parents went to college. He's like, my 163 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:28,840 parents didn't go to college. But in fact, their dad tells them, 164 00:11:28,879 --> 00:11:31,759 you know, you don't need college, you know, go to find out 165 00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:33,399 what you like to do, go to work, go to a trade school 166 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:37,600 whatever, you know, But both of my kids want they want to go 167 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,320 so got them the college counselor. But it's like, it's it's nice to 168 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:45,879 meet people that are like, you know, we didn't go to college, 169 00:11:46,399 --> 00:11:48,840 both of them to college. You know, well Bert did seven years and 170 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:54,120 I did but dropped out, right, But yeah, I think it's it's, 171 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:58,120 uh, it's interesting who This city is a weird place to raise kids, 172 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:09,320 right, Yeah, because it's such a mix of socioeconomic of creativity levels. 173 00:12:09,399 --> 00:12:15,960 I guess different levels of creativity in your schools. And I know we 174 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:20,799 sent our kids to public school through eighth grade, partly because we couldn't really 175 00:12:20,799 --> 00:12:24,399 afford private, and partly I think I would have chosen that anyway, because 176 00:12:24,639 --> 00:12:28,919 I was a public school kid and Bert was a private school kid. And 177 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:33,759 the value system that happens in white collar families is awesome, but very different 178 00:12:33,799 --> 00:12:37,919 than the value system that happens in blue collar families, Right, They're very 179 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,399 different currency. So like what you're talking about with the Princeton, that's a 180 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:45,039 currency of a white collar family. Right. But there's stuff that is from 181 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,639 my blue collar background that I'd prefer, and then there's stuff from the white 182 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:52,840 collar that I'd prefer, And then you get to kind of pick and choose. 183 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:58,399 Okay, our family culture is this part blue collar, this part white 184 00:12:58,399 --> 00:13:01,720 collar, and how do we kind of times it gets confusing in that once 185 00:13:01,759 --> 00:13:05,600 we shifted our girls to private school in high school, they were surrounded by 186 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:13,240 white collar values and coming from a blue collar value elementary and middle school where 187 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:16,639 we went to. Their middle school had eighteen hundred students in it. You 188 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:22,039 know, it was public school. It was fifty seven percent Latino. You 189 00:13:22,039 --> 00:13:26,960 know, it was a very socioeconomically diverse group. There were a lot of 190 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:31,120 wealthy kids who sent their parents sent their kids to that school for the music 191 00:13:31,159 --> 00:13:35,360 program, for the art program, for the show choir program, and then 192 00:13:35,399 --> 00:13:37,279 there were kids that just lived in the neighborhood also. So it was just 193 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,320 kind of like going to the DMV. You know, we all go to 194 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,679 the DMV. Somehow the Rock gets a driver's license. I don't know how, 195 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,120 but you know, he goes to the DMV two in some capacity. 196 00:13:48,879 --> 00:13:54,759 And so Burt and I both really liked that kind of leveler, you know, 197 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:58,399 to go, hey, you put your pants on, just like the 198 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:03,799 plumber's kid, just like Christopher Nolan's kid. You know, you all put 199 00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:07,320 your pants on the same. But what we noticed about kids who grew up 200 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,000 once we're in this private school sect, that these that the private school kids 201 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:16,639 have such a different point of view about college and stuff than ours. And 202 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:20,320 I feel like when we go back to our public school friends, everybody's more 203 00:14:20,399 --> 00:14:22,200 like we are. They're like, ah, who cares, They'll figure it 204 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:26,200 out. Who cares? They go to community's college or a trade school, 205 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:31,000 or take a gap year or work for a year and then figured it out. 206 00:14:31,039 --> 00:14:33,960 It's just such a different it's so interesting to look at and like, 207 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:37,080 I'm so curious about it, to look at it and see, you know, 208 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:43,399 what matters to me, what matters in our house versus what seems to 209 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,200 matter in our community, versus what seems to matter in the United States. 210 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,480 Right, because they go back home and they are still very much like, 211 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:56,279 hey, trade school is awesome. Two year degree in agriculture, Yeah, 212 00:14:56,879 --> 00:15:01,360 now you're college educated. A two year degree in agriculture or agriculture is a 213 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:05,159 step up for a lot of people in my community. Is something that wasn't 214 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:11,480 available. Right, to just have that perspective when you're sitting with you know, 215 00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:16,039 I'm so disappointed you didn't go to Princeton. You go well, and 216 00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:22,679 such a niche small lane of this world. I also think that, and 217 00:15:22,759 --> 00:15:24,759 I can speak for all three of us because I know you a little bit. 218 00:15:24,919 --> 00:15:30,600 But our kids have so much more security and like they're having a different 219 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:35,360 upbringing experience, and I know that for me, I couldn't even really see 220 00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:39,120 myself at college because my home life was so dysfunctional and the way I felt 221 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:45,639 inside was just so different and like I felt, you know, I had 222 00:15:45,639 --> 00:15:48,840 to be scrappy and I had to figure a lot of stuff out for myself, 223 00:15:48,879 --> 00:15:52,600 and I had to kind of parent myself, and I just couldn't imagine 224 00:15:52,039 --> 00:15:56,759 being at college with people telling me what to do and like living by other 225 00:15:56,799 --> 00:15:58,440 people, you know what I mean. At a certain point, I was 226 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,639 angry, I felt sad, I was crying, and I was just like 227 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,840 I need to just go to LA and like do my own thing. Well, 228 00:16:06,879 --> 00:16:10,679 my kids are having a very different experience. They have parents who love 229 00:16:10,759 --> 00:16:14,919 them, and they have they feel like, I think it's just more comfortable 230 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,440 for them to see themselves, see their future and not be worried about like 231 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,440 how what am I gonna do next week? Well, there's probably a little 232 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:26,759 less imposter syndrome for our kids. Yes, I was all like they're gonna 233 00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:30,279 figure this out right all through college, they're gonna figure out I'm really dumb. 234 00:16:30,879 --> 00:16:34,559 Someone's gonna the jig is up that I am like from like hillbilly country, 235 00:16:34,919 --> 00:16:37,840 Like something's gonna cat's coming out of the back at some point. I 236 00:16:37,879 --> 00:16:41,200 better get out of here before I'm discovered. I definitely had that piece. 237 00:16:41,279 --> 00:16:44,639 I don't think my kids had that piece. Yeah, I don't look. 238 00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:48,159 So, when did you come out to LA or what brought you out to 239 00:16:48,279 --> 00:16:51,480 LA? I moved to New York first. I was there for four years. 240 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,480 I was so lost. I studied acting for a while, and while 241 00:16:55,519 --> 00:16:57,799 I was studying acting, I figured out I really like to write. So 242 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:04,079 I moved out here intending to act still, and then very shortly realized acting 243 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,839 was not for me. I am not the person that's like, I'm not 244 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,960 a pick me girl. Yeah, And I was like, oh no, 245 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,279 it'll pick her. She'd be way better. And I go, well, 246 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:17,279 that's not going to work. Like I can't, I'm never gonna work. 247 00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:22,880 So I just dove into writing. So I just became a writer. Up 248 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,240 until I met Bert and had kids. I was writing all day. I 249 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:30,119 wrote like six days a week. I wrote eight screenplays in about two years. 250 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,519 Wow, that's amazing. It was awesome. I have four, got 251 00:17:33,559 --> 00:17:37,839 optioned, one got made, and right before I got pregnant with Georgia, 252 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,480 like studios were asking me to like, hey, read a book and see 253 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,359 if you would adapt this into a screenplay, those southern books. So no 254 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,559 big stretch there. But so I was getting opportunities coming my way. It 255 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,319 was really starting to roll. And then got pregnant on the pill while I 256 00:17:52,319 --> 00:17:59,000 was dating Bert, So wow, the good Lord went pivot because I was 257 00:17:59,039 --> 00:18:00,920 like, well, I'm not gonna do that, Like, if that's how 258 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:04,279 this is supposed to then this is supposed to be my path. And I 259 00:18:04,319 --> 00:18:10,039 got super morning sick for like six months and I could only like work my 260 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,799 day job in sleep. And then by the time where you was, your 261 00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:18,480 relationship barely knew about a year year in change. But we were you know, 262 00:18:18,559 --> 00:18:22,359 we'd been to the rodeo. We kind of knew we were headed in 263 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,799 that direction. It just happened a little faster than we probably would have. 264 00:18:26,599 --> 00:18:30,200 And to be honest with you, the way my childhood and my background with 265 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:38,680 seven divorces between my two parents and really yeah, seven going for eight seven 266 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:45,000 so I really think that it happened the way it was supposed to because I'd 267 00:18:45,039 --> 00:18:48,000 never doubted it. I have such a faith in the universe and the way 268 00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:52,519 things happening, things are supposed to happen the way they're supposed to happen. 269 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:57,079 They getting pregnant on the pill made me never doubt that I was supposed to 270 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,519 be with Bert and that we were suppose to have kids together. So if 271 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:06,079 I had chosen to get married, I think that imposter syndrome would have gotten 272 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:08,759 me. If I had chosen to have kids, I definitely would have been 273 00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:11,480 like, you definitely don't know what you're doing here, and you should not 274 00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:15,720 be here for sure. So I think the universe just went for you, 275 00:19:15,799 --> 00:19:21,559 honey, It's gonna have to work like this. Yeah, So it was 276 00:19:21,599 --> 00:19:26,240 a blessing, really, and I just you know, once my kids were 277 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:29,039 up a little bit, I was like, oh, perfect, I'm gonna 278 00:19:29,079 --> 00:19:33,119 get Isle in kindergarten. I'll go back to writing. It just doesn't work 279 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:37,079 like that for me. I can't sit down or I have not been able 280 00:19:37,079 --> 00:19:40,799 to sit down and write for like forty five minutes, and then my brain 281 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,559 just it just makes me really frustrated. So I was like, well, 282 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:48,119 I can be frustrated at my kids all day, or I can just pause 283 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,400 that and find another creative outlet until they're really launched, and I can really 284 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,839 really do that. So that's kind of what I did. I've started writing 285 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,319 a little bit here and there, and I've started prepping to write a book, 286 00:20:00,759 --> 00:20:03,440 so that once I was in college and I'm an empty nester, I 287 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:07,920 can kind of really focus. But I mean, I have like two proms 288 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:12,519 and you know, graduation. It's constantly the kids that you the fits and 289 00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:17,440 starts of it makes me insane, so I just don't do it right. 290 00:20:17,599 --> 00:20:23,440 Yeah, let's take a quick break and come right back. Okay, we're 291 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:29,039 back. So when you said you had to pivot like something else creative, 292 00:20:29,039 --> 00:20:33,519 do you mean your podcast? My podcast didn't come till about six years ago, 293 00:20:33,759 --> 00:20:38,680 and my kids like seventeen, So I kind of pivoted into a couple 294 00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:45,599 areas. At the time, stand ups and comedians weren't selling merchandise. So 295 00:20:45,039 --> 00:20:48,359 I said to Bert, I don't know why you don't sell a T shirt, 296 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,119 just like being a rock star. Why don't you just start selling T 297 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:56,000 shirts? So I started developing his line of merch that was kind of my 298 00:20:56,119 --> 00:21:00,559 little, you know, side hustle of art because it is great design. 299 00:21:00,599 --> 00:21:02,599 I'm not designing it, but I was the person that was like, how 300 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:06,200 about his face in profile? With this here and that there? You make 301 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,920 it? Tell me I'll pick the shirts. Said did all of that, 302 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:14,519 and then it kind of grew into Bert got the opportunity to shoot his first 303 00:21:14,519 --> 00:21:18,000 special, and from the very beginning I would go watch him, obviously do 304 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:22,839 stand up and I am very opinionated, so he would be like, what'd 305 00:21:22,839 --> 00:21:26,000 you think about that? And I'd go, You're so much smarter than that. 306 00:21:26,039 --> 00:21:29,559 I don't understand why you say that. Why can't you elevate the way 307 00:21:29,599 --> 00:21:33,960 you're thinking about that concept? Because I was a writer and so I never 308 00:21:34,079 --> 00:21:40,000 wrote anything for him, but I would always kind of push his boundary and 309 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:45,480 question his laziness, right and be like, that's lazy. You're way smarter 310 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,559 than that. You said the F word four times in one joke, Say 311 00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:53,200 it once and replace the other three with a word, and you know, 312 00:21:53,319 --> 00:21:59,839 come on, And so Lynett, can you imagine how that would have gone? 313 00:21:59,279 --> 00:22:04,720 Him giving notes to Adam not not something that wouldn't work, No, 314 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,519 no, no, he would have liked the merchandise part though, that right, 315 00:22:08,839 --> 00:22:11,839 yeah, get and he would want me to sew the shirts together, 316 00:22:15,759 --> 00:22:18,839 right like that. That's the kind of stuff he would have had been, 317 00:22:18,839 --> 00:22:22,599 like, why are we ordering them to somebody to make T shirts? Go 318 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,799 to Joe Anne's fabric. It got you a sewing machine. The dust that 319 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:32,880 thing off, right, that's that's yeah. But yeah, like I let 320 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,440 the let I'll stick to the jokes that you do the sewing, right, 321 00:22:36,519 --> 00:22:40,640 That's what he would have done. Yeah, like that. Hats off to 322 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:45,279 Bert, Yes he would he gets offensive at first? Or was he always 323 00:22:45,319 --> 00:22:48,759 like, oh, thank you for no hearing your opinion? He was neither. 324 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:53,119 He was a little like the thing about bird is I think one of 325 00:22:53,160 --> 00:23:00,440 our values that are the same is funny is funny period. So if you're 326 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:07,440 getting a note from your mailman that makes the joke more funny. Who cares? 327 00:23:07,039 --> 00:23:11,680 That's how he thinks about it, And that's how I think about it 328 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,920 too. I don't care who tells me. If the idea is a good 329 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,519 idea, then isn't that what you're looking for? As an artist? There 330 00:23:18,519 --> 00:23:22,960 should be no ego because the oh, well it's all ego, Well, 331 00:23:23,039 --> 00:23:29,000 who needs that? You just need it to be the best. Whatever you're 332 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,920 doing, your dishes, your dinner, whatever it is, to be the 333 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,200 best you can be. So why wouldn't you take input. You don't have 334 00:23:36,319 --> 00:23:40,279 to apply it. You can just consider it and go I don't agree, 335 00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:44,279 and then I go, no problem, but I can't not say something I 336 00:23:44,319 --> 00:23:47,160 see. So as long as we can do that, and we've always been 337 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,880 able to do that, I'll give him tons of notes he doesn't take, 338 00:23:49,599 --> 00:23:52,920 and I'm like, Okay, it's your art, it's not mine. Was 339 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,519 he doing stand up when you met him? How did you guys meet? 340 00:23:56,079 --> 00:24:00,799 He was doing stand up? I met him bowling. Oh, like a 341 00:24:00,839 --> 00:24:03,000 bunch of friends. Just got a bunch of friends together, and we were 342 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,599 on the singles team against the couple's team. And at the end of it, 343 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,599 I was like, he's pretty funny, but I'm never going to stick 344 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,759 with a comedian, Like there's no way I'm marrying a comedian, No way. 345 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:15,759 But I knew his roommate, and I was like, give him my 346 00:24:15,839 --> 00:24:18,680 number. We'll have a couple of dates and then we'll be friends for life. 347 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:25,039 He and I will be friends forever. And clearly that went a different 348 00:24:25,039 --> 00:24:29,640 direction, but yeah, we just met bowling. Actually he had met we 349 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,839 had met two times before that, but I have no memory of it. 350 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,200 He I guess saw me and was like who is that? And I don't 351 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,839 remember meeting him. He interrupted a writing session. I got really mad at 352 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,240 him, and app apparently I was really bitchy and I was like, I'm 353 00:24:44,279 --> 00:24:45,519 in the middle of something. Could you get out, you know, because 354 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:51,759 kind of abrupt, and he was like, hellover, high over, I 355 00:24:51,799 --> 00:24:56,039 think she could take me in hand. So that's cute. So you started 356 00:24:56,079 --> 00:24:59,720 to I mean, so he called you, and was it like just off 357 00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:02,640 to the Oh no, he didn't call me. Oh no, he didn't 358 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,559 call me. I called his roommate and went, why hasn't he called me? 359 00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:10,359 And the roommate goes, ask him yourself and just handed him the phone 360 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:11,920 and I went, dude, why don't you call me? And he just 361 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,519 stammered and stammered and stammered, and I was like, let me make this. 362 00:25:15,559 --> 00:25:17,720 I thought he was scared of me. I was like, I think 363 00:25:17,759 --> 00:25:22,880 he's scared of me. I think because I can be a bit much, 364 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:27,039 right, So I'm very direct. I just don't I'm just very direct, 365 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:33,240 right, Yeah, So I don't need to be like, oh, I'm 366 00:25:33,279 --> 00:25:34,640 just like, why don't you call me? Uh, I'm gonna make it 367 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,839 easy for you. How about you ask me out? And he goes, 368 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,519 okay, you want to go a date. I was like, yes, 369 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:45,119 I do. So he hangs the phone up and he goes to his roommate. 370 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,920 She just wants me for my body. No, that was not it. 371 00:25:48,759 --> 00:25:52,359 It was his brain. So he shows up to the date, like, 372 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:56,039 pulls up in front of my apartment and honks the horn because he thinks 373 00:25:56,039 --> 00:26:00,759 I'm a booty call, right. I am from this part of the country 374 00:26:00,799 --> 00:26:03,240 where I'm like, okay, well, if that's how we're gonna do it, 375 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:07,920 all right. You know, dudes don't always know how to write. 376 00:26:07,559 --> 00:26:11,799 So I'm dressed up in like a dress and heels, and as soon as 377 00:26:11,799 --> 00:26:14,319 I hit the sidewalk, He's like, oh my god, this is a 378 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,759 date. This is like a real date. He has a full blown panic 379 00:26:17,759 --> 00:26:19,880 attack. He can't eat dinner, he can't tolerate his shoes, he has 380 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:25,160 to take his shoes off. Wow, because he's panicking because this is actually 381 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,759 a date and he really likes me, and there was no part of his 382 00:26:27,799 --> 00:26:33,839 world that thought that this was real. He thought it was just couldn't possibly 383 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:38,720 be real. So we go to dinner. He doesn't eat dinner, and 384 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,240 then he guys, let's go somewhere else for dessert. He doesn't eat dessert. 385 00:26:41,519 --> 00:26:45,119 Let's go somewhere else for a drink. Let's go to Ralphs and pick 386 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,599 up a six pack. And I'm like, dude, it's like one in 387 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:52,240 the morning, okay, just one beer from the six pack. And then 388 00:26:52,559 --> 00:26:56,839 I'm like, you gotta go. It's the night's over. And he called 389 00:26:56,839 --> 00:26:59,359 me at nine o'clock the next day, what are you doing this? No 390 00:26:59,519 --> 00:27:00,599 chay? I was like, well, going to yoga? Can I come 391 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,480 too? And I'll cook your dinner? Okay? Next day, what are 392 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,400 you doing this? Note chain, I'm going for a hike. Can you 393 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:10,039 can I come too? And I'll cook your dinner? Okay? Every single 394 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:15,680 day, every day he called me, and I memorized his phone number the 395 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,039 first time he told it to me, and I believe in signs like that 396 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,480 where I go. I knew his phone number the first time he said it, 397 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,559 and I remember the first voicemail he left me. I thought, knee 398 00:27:25,599 --> 00:27:27,160 jerk. I went, I could listen to that voice every day, and 399 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:33,599 I went oh, okay, and I just started paying attention to little bitty 400 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,559 things and yeah, we just kind of were. So was it ever weird 401 00:27:37,599 --> 00:27:42,200 at the beginning, Like I don't know you were we're all again dysfunctional, 402 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,359 Like did you have any where you were like, oh, no, he 403 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,960 doesn't like me, he's not calling me, what's going on? Big fights? 404 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,960 I was a very I was a tester with my husband, you know, 405 00:27:53,559 --> 00:27:59,960 cause created fights to see if he would, you know, come after 406 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,119 me. I think I probably did that. I know for sure. There 407 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:08,559 was a moment where I said, you don't want this. There's too much 408 00:28:08,599 --> 00:28:11,640 going on here. I got too much baggage and you don't want it. 409 00:28:12,079 --> 00:28:15,400 And he said I do, and I went, no, no, I 410 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:19,279 don't think you do. Pretty sure you don't, and he kept going, 411 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,799 but I do. Like literally, this was the conversation. It wasn't any 412 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:29,759 broader than that. I started kind of breaking down. I don't know how 413 00:28:29,799 --> 00:28:33,720 to be in a relationship. I don't have that modeled for me. I 414 00:28:33,759 --> 00:28:37,759 am in and out in three months. I don't know what I'm doing. 415 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:42,000 I'm definitely gonna screw this up. I have so much baggage that has nothing 416 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,599 to do with you that you're gonna have to deal with. I cry sometimes 417 00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:49,880 for no reason. I'm a broken piece of shit of all this past stuff 418 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:55,240 that I haven't even told you about, and you don't want it. And 419 00:28:55,279 --> 00:29:00,359 he was like, I do, so give it to me. Happened on 420 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,079 Zuma Beach and he picked up a rock and wrote the date on it. 421 00:29:03,119 --> 00:29:06,759 And we still have the rock where I said, you don't want it, 422 00:29:06,799 --> 00:29:08,680 and he said I do. I want it. This is before we were 423 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:12,759 engaged, before we were pregnant, before anything. And then I did have 424 00:29:12,799 --> 00:29:17,440 another panic attack, going, I can't do this, just to a friend, 425 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:22,240 not Tim, going I can't, like I can't handle this, I 426 00:29:22,279 --> 00:29:25,720 can't do this. This is not for me. I do not know what 427 00:29:25,759 --> 00:29:30,319 I'm doing, and I'm definitely gonna screw this poor person up and myself up. 428 00:29:30,759 --> 00:29:32,880 And she came she was like, I'll be right there. She came 429 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:37,920 over and she went, honey, you're having a panic attack and it's over 430 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:41,319 because he's the one and you're the one for him. So let's go see 431 00:29:41,359 --> 00:29:45,880 Finding Nemo, and so we did. I was like, okay. So 432 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,079 we went to watch Finding Nemo. By the end of the movie, I 433 00:29:48,119 --> 00:29:51,039 was like, okay, I think he's good, and like that was in 434 00:29:51,079 --> 00:29:56,359 August. In September, I was pregnant. Wow, yeah, my god, 435 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,759 crazy right. Yeah, so you never got like the gross stop feeling 436 00:30:00,039 --> 00:30:03,799 which grossed out. Yeah, like where you're like, it's too much. 437 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,319 He likes me too much, this is too real, Like I've got an 438 00:30:07,359 --> 00:30:11,079 I can't do it. I don't like him. No, that's good. 439 00:30:11,119 --> 00:30:15,000 So you had like you were. It seems to me like you were trying 440 00:30:15,039 --> 00:30:18,559 to self sabotage for a little bit. I was just trying to be honest. 441 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:22,559 Yeah, like I'm not a walk in the park, like I got 442 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:29,039 stuff like my mom's stuff I have is date raped in college. I don't 443 00:30:29,079 --> 00:30:32,680 think i'd really dealt with that. I dealt with it to a point. 444 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:37,880 But to be intimate with somebody in the way you are when you're married is 445 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:41,000 different than just you know, dating someone for three or four months and then 446 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:45,720 moving on or even a year and knowing this is not permanent. But to 447 00:30:45,759 --> 00:30:48,880 be able to go, listen, I'm damaged over here, and I'm not 448 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,240 even willing to open that box. But if we're gonna be really married, 449 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:53,519 I'm gonna have to open that box. And I don't really want to. 450 00:30:55,079 --> 00:30:57,079 Yeah, I don't want to deal with that, so it's easier for me 451 00:30:57,119 --> 00:31:00,160 to go never mind on you, so I don't ever have to open that 452 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:06,599 box. And so when I told him about that being part of the box 453 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,240 I didn't want to open, he was like, I got it, I'm 454 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:12,640 good, give me the box. It was really crazy. Were you dating 455 00:31:12,839 --> 00:31:18,200 before you a lot or at all? Or were you dating before you guys 456 00:31:18,319 --> 00:31:22,759 met like other people before you met, or were you going on dates or 457 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,240 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I was. You weren't looking 458 00:31:26,319 --> 00:31:30,240 for like the one? I didn't think that that was in the cards for 459 00:31:30,319 --> 00:31:34,119 me ever, Really no, I didn't think I would be capable of that. 460 00:31:34,599 --> 00:31:40,559 No, no you didn't. You weren't the marrying like I can't wait 461 00:31:40,559 --> 00:31:44,720 to looking for the one? Or I think I wanted it and didn't think 462 00:31:44,759 --> 00:31:47,920 I could have it. You know, I think that's what it was. 463 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,920 I wanted it, but just so very much did not have the tools, 464 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:56,119 and I got bored so fast. You know too, people right with your 465 00:31:56,240 --> 00:32:00,559 mom and the way you grew up, you're constantly evalue, you waiting, 466 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:07,920 right and hypervigilant, hypervigilant. So if someone is easy to figure out you're 467 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,400 done. Was that what it was for you? Yes? Yes, yes. 468 00:32:10,559 --> 00:32:15,079 Also, and I've heard this from therapists a lot when I was younger, 469 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:21,279 but my mom's love was very inconsistent. So it was like sometimes she 470 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,799 was like a great mom and really sweet and supportive, and other times she 471 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:30,000 was so mean and unloving for no reason that I could have control over, 472 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,400 because she could just be in a bad mood. But when you're a kid, 473 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,720 you don't understand that your parents have other things going on or or they're 474 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:44,039 very moody. You know. I didn't know that my mom was probably had 475 00:32:44,079 --> 00:32:46,519 some mood stuff going on. I always thought, oh, I I'm bad 476 00:32:46,559 --> 00:32:52,880 today, or I did something. So I think when later with men, 477 00:32:53,079 --> 00:32:57,799 if they were just consistently like into me, I was like, oh that's 478 00:32:59,039 --> 00:33:00,920 that doesn't feel comfort Yeah, what is? I need to work for it 479 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:05,079 a little bit. I need to earn it. I need to be good, 480 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,759 I need to be like you know what I mean. So if they 481 00:33:07,839 --> 00:33:09,839 weren't, then I would just get scared and go on, this doesn't feel 482 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:15,440 comfortable. Yeah, yeah, well I know in my I've been in therapy 483 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:22,319 forever and sometimes Bert has shades of my mom, but is not my mom, 484 00:33:22,519 --> 00:33:27,519 right, he has distinct differences, Like my mom was very narcissistic, 485 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:32,680 definitely comics. I want a little narcissism just to titch right. But my 486 00:33:32,799 --> 00:33:39,400 mom could never uh never had accountability for anything. Every human being makes a 487 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:44,920 mistake. Of course she made mistakes, but it was never her. It's 488 00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,559 why she divorced so many times. It was never her. Bert definitely can 489 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,680 reflect and go, you know what that was not okay and and make some 490 00:33:52,839 --> 00:33:58,920 changes. So I'd ask my therapist and sometimes where we are maybe not optimal 491 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,079 because obviously there are times in your marriage where you're just missing, you know, 492 00:34:02,319 --> 00:34:07,440 just kind of missing, and you constantly missing, and not bad enough 493 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,159 that you're leaving, but bad enough where you're like, what am I doing 494 00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:15,199 here? And what's happening here? And my therapist has always said to me, 495 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:21,840 we seek things we recognize, but the optimal relationship has that one different 496 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:27,440 thing that allows you to heal from the bad parts that you recognize. Right. 497 00:34:27,639 --> 00:34:30,440 Interesting, Yeah, so very much love is what you know love to 498 00:34:30,519 --> 00:34:35,400 be. Our moms sound very similar in the way they love. My mom 499 00:34:35,519 --> 00:34:38,599 was fun. She was so funny. Everybody loved her. She was very 500 00:34:38,639 --> 00:34:43,440 generous with gifts, and then there was this other side where you're like, 501 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:50,559 whoa, that's really unhealthy and borderline abusives and not cool at all, and 502 00:34:50,599 --> 00:34:54,599 then this other side was amazing, So I'd have both and that meant love 503 00:34:54,639 --> 00:35:00,280 to me. So then I in with Bert and I see some it's not 504 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:04,760 abusive or anything like that, but very self focused. And when you're narcissistic, 505 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,440 you know your way is the highway, and sometimes Bert's way is the 506 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:12,760 highway, and then he can come back and go, h nah, it 507 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,159 may have been maybe a different highway. Maybe it was just me reacting or 508 00:35:16,159 --> 00:35:22,320 being emotional. So she's continually said, you're actually in a healing relationship. 509 00:35:22,639 --> 00:35:29,199 That sometimes triggers you that you're in the same kind of relationship as you were 510 00:35:29,199 --> 00:35:32,880 with your mom, but it's drastically different because of these other factors. Right, 511 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,280 So, but that's why you stay. That's why it works because if 512 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:42,400 it were foreign, totally foreign to the way my mother loved me, completely 513 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,239 separated, then I wouldn't understand it. I wouldn't be able to accept it 514 00:35:47,119 --> 00:35:52,880 wow in the way, or if he was always narcissistic and refused to ever 515 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:59,159 take accountability, then you would just be reliving correct childhood and it wouldn't work 516 00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:02,519 because you have to make yourself smaller and have no issues and like you can't 517 00:36:02,559 --> 00:36:07,199 ever deal with your stuff. That's right, Yeah, makes sense. I 518 00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:13,719 think that for me John, the thing that the thing that reminded me of 519 00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:20,559 the past and kept me was John. Uh was distant at the beginning, 520 00:36:20,639 --> 00:36:25,000 except that he actually wasn't. It's just that he's very He told me that 521 00:36:25,119 --> 00:36:29,719 he was. He was being a hermit. He just wasn't really interested in 522 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:34,239 dating. He was he liked to be home alone. He has like social 523 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:39,480 anxiety. So I took that to be that he's not interested enough. It 524 00:36:39,599 --> 00:36:43,480 wasn't actually the case, but it's what kept me. I was like, 525 00:36:43,599 --> 00:36:45,719 oh, I'm having to earn it. I know this feeling, this is 526 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,960 familiar. I have to chase him a little bit, you know, I 527 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,599 have to I have to try to get what I need. When in actuality 528 00:36:52,679 --> 00:36:59,480 he actually was emotionally available, right, But it's like it took a while, 529 00:36:59,519 --> 00:37:02,760 It took a few years until and really once we were like living together 530 00:37:04,079 --> 00:37:07,360 that I was like, oh, I don't have to earn it, and 531 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:12,079 but then it was too late. It was too late to be uninteresting because 532 00:37:12,079 --> 00:37:14,960 I was already very locked in, like we were already very much together, 533 00:37:15,119 --> 00:37:16,480 like leading to marriage. So all of a sudden when I was like, 534 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:21,039 oh shit, he's very available, I'm not comfortable with that, but it 535 00:37:21,119 --> 00:37:24,039 was like too late. But I think for you, though, it's probably 536 00:37:24,159 --> 00:37:30,039 that you grew and learned in the context of that relationship without maybe even knowing 537 00:37:30,079 --> 00:37:32,320 it. Right. I wonder if you learned, oh, hold on, 538 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:37,440 I actually can have this without it being this, because that's what I've done 539 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:42,239 with Bert is I've gone, oh, okay, this is not my mom, 540 00:37:42,559 --> 00:37:45,400 this is just Bert being Bert, and it means so much less. 541 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:50,599 It's not important anymore. So what keeps me there is different than what got 542 00:37:50,599 --> 00:37:52,719 me there in the beginning, right right, right? Yeah, So wonder 543 00:37:52,920 --> 00:38:00,840 let's take another quick break and we're back Linett. Are you relating to this 544 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:02,199 at all? Well, there's a lot of things I'd like to say, 545 00:38:02,199 --> 00:38:06,480 but I don't know saying what. Well, I mean, I you know, 546 00:38:07,639 --> 00:38:10,000 oh you mean you shouldn't say yeah, gotcha? Okay, But I 547 00:38:10,039 --> 00:38:15,320 am no because I had a mom that was I don't know if she was 548 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:24,039 crazy, she was very Yeah, she was definitely narcissistic, but she was 549 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:30,079 manic a lot my whole life. But but she wasn't like depressive. She 550 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:34,679 was more of like woo like happy and like too much, too much. 551 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,960 She was very and she was aggressive. Well she taught self defense, taught 552 00:38:38,119 --> 00:38:43,360 she's a black belt. Wow, So she was you know, grabby and 553 00:38:43,519 --> 00:38:46,159 like she scared me most of my I was scared of her. My dad 554 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:52,960 was my safe space. But but uh, yeah, I mean I like 555 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:57,679 being married, and you know, I mean I was with the same person 556 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,239 my whole pretty much adult life. You know, met Adam when I was 557 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:07,159 twenty five, you know, so you just don't know any different, you 558 00:39:07,159 --> 00:39:09,920 know, and that's that's all you You're in a relationship, that's kind of 559 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:15,440 all you know, and you just think for me, like I was, 560 00:39:15,519 --> 00:39:20,960 like I was just at the time dating a lot of Like I wasn't dating 561 00:39:21,039 --> 00:39:23,800 that much, but every guy did date ended up being like a douche, 562 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:30,519 you know, just because I worked at ABC Network and I worked in the 563 00:39:30,639 --> 00:39:35,960 in the entertainment industry. And then when I met Adam, he just didn't 564 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,199 it seem like the typical like he didn't have his own his own tape of 565 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:45,159 his pilot that I worked for the production company, and I was like, 566 00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:49,920 well that's refreshing. What struggling comedian doesn't even have a cop didn't even see 567 00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:53,000 it. I'm a pilot, so it was like a new refreshing thing, 568 00:39:53,159 --> 00:40:00,000 you know. But I wanted to ask you, you know, I remember, 569 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:04,440 I just remember, you know, Adam never was a touring comedian. 570 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,840 He was a radio guy. And then when we started, he started having 571 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:13,039 to do with the podcast. Then he started hitting the road, and it 572 00:40:13,119 --> 00:40:17,480 was after we had kids. We had little kids. So with bert a 573 00:40:17,519 --> 00:40:22,599 touring comedian, like, is it hard for you having him gone a lot 574 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:28,280 on the week or you know, with just having kids? Well interesting, 575 00:40:28,559 --> 00:40:32,039 do you ever feel like a single parent? Oh? I did, But 576 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:38,239 you know, funny thing is I'm an only child. So I think that 577 00:40:39,159 --> 00:40:49,039 it worked for me because I like my space and I had the public school 578 00:40:49,039 --> 00:40:52,119 we went to with our kids was such a great community of people that I 579 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:59,519 really related to. And there were several moms there I just created like a 580 00:40:59,559 --> 00:41:04,039 family, like an extended family, urban family. There was another mom whose 581 00:41:04,119 --> 00:41:07,199 husband's a big movie producer who was always gone. So the two of us 582 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:13,599 co parented our four similar age kids constantly. We would drop off pickup, 583 00:41:13,639 --> 00:41:16,920 we'd do dinner. They did tennis lessons together, girl Scouts together. So 584 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:22,559 we just found each other luckily, and co parented all the way through fifth 585 00:41:22,599 --> 00:41:25,440 grade, and then our kids kind of separated, went into different middle schools, 586 00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:30,599 and then we kind of created that same thing in middle school because it's 587 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:35,960 really hard to be by yourself, and she don't want to be by herself 588 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:39,519 either, So you know, i'll cook this week, you cook next week. 589 00:41:39,559 --> 00:41:45,280 Whatever you pick up, I'll drop off. So I kind of instinctively 590 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:51,519 just took care myself in that way. I don't it's harder now that I'm 591 00:41:51,599 --> 00:41:55,880 empty nesting almost. I miss Burton now way more than I did when the 592 00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,639 kids were little, cause your days are so fully like it or not, 593 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,320 your days are full, and I was just ready to get to bedtime right 594 00:42:04,519 --> 00:42:08,840 and you know, just kind of relax. But now I miss him a 595 00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:13,880 lot. There's like a big hole in life, it feels like, with 596 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:19,280 him gone. So I don't know what I'm going to do when I lives 597 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:22,360 in college and I really am home by myself. I'm probably gonna travel with 598 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:27,800 him some and I'll just stay home some. But you know, I'm a 599 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:34,039 weird anomaly I think I think about and so is my friend. We never 600 00:42:34,199 --> 00:42:38,639 were resentful or angry that we were doing this by ourselves. I wonder if 601 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:45,199 she is a refugee from Vietnam and came here when she was eight, and 602 00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:51,639 I'm from like hillbilly backwoods. You just roll your sleeves up and get done 603 00:42:51,639 --> 00:42:54,599 what needs to get done. And we have a similar mentality. And our 604 00:42:54,679 --> 00:43:00,000 mentality was we have the opportunity to stay home and raise our kids for them 605 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:07,559 to go do this, Okay, no problem. Yeah. Now if I 606 00:43:07,599 --> 00:43:09,920 hadn't had her and the other women, I might have felt very differently. 607 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:15,719 But yeah, we both were like, yeah, well you're I mean, 608 00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:19,440 for her husband, you're taking a show in London. Okay, all of 609 00:43:19,519 --> 00:43:22,360 us will come there for spring break? How about that? And so that 610 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:25,760 we're all like we were just these two families that just kind of co parented 611 00:43:27,599 --> 00:43:31,159 sods close to each other. Yes, they all call each other like cousins. 612 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:36,639 Yeah, we're all cousins. And then we added two more families to 613 00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:42,519 the group. None of their parents traveled, but so we became this like 614 00:43:42,599 --> 00:43:45,480 group of four families that had eight kids, all within the same age, 615 00:43:45,519 --> 00:43:50,960 and like just yesterday, one of the other family sons asked my daughter to 616 00:43:51,039 --> 00:43:53,800 prom because he was like, I just want to just not have to worry 617 00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:58,960 about my date and you'll be my date. And she was like, awesome, 618 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,000 that'd be awesome. So so yeah, they're still really close. So 619 00:44:01,039 --> 00:44:05,320 that's the second prom you're talking about. That's the second prom. Just added 620 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,679 last night. I was like, really, okay, second dress, let's 621 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:13,360 figure that one out. But and how is Bert with like other I'm like, 622 00:44:13,599 --> 00:44:16,119 does he like hanging out with other parents? Is he one of those 623 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:22,039 like that kind of that dad that's like fun and likes to meet the other 624 00:44:22,199 --> 00:44:25,519 kids's parents and hang out. Well, I'll say sort of. That was 625 00:44:25,559 --> 00:44:32,679 a slow burn. Uh. He in the beginning didn't think that he could 626 00:44:32,679 --> 00:44:37,400 find anybody that could relate to him. And then again, my friend who 627 00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:43,280 has the husband, they what's been really fascinating is that they were kind of 628 00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:46,719 at the same level in their respective careers at the same time, and they've 629 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:53,000 grown at a similar pace in their careers at the same time. So as 630 00:44:53,119 --> 00:44:55,960 one elevates all of a sudden, the other one catches up and then elevates 631 00:44:55,960 --> 00:45:00,480 and they catch up. And so we've always had these this one family that 632 00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,760 we've kind of grown in tandem, and I think that's been really helpful. 633 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:08,599 And then the other two guys in our four family circle are just the nicest, 634 00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:15,239 most down to earth, don't care about Hollywood. One's an attorney, 635 00:45:15,679 --> 00:45:19,000 the other ones like in the world of VR, and they just don't really 636 00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:23,039 care that he is. Don't really care. They care that you're Georgia and 637 00:45:23,079 --> 00:45:27,679 Ila's dad and my wife loves your wife. So what are we putting on 638 00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:31,119 the smoker today? That's kind of that's nice. It took a minute though, 639 00:45:31,159 --> 00:45:32,960 in the beginning where it was like, I don't want to go over 640 00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:37,039 to these people's houses and this kind of sucked, and I'm going to talk 641 00:45:37,079 --> 00:45:40,559 to him about Very shortly he realized it's just like going home to Tampa and 642 00:45:40,599 --> 00:45:45,360 talking to all your friends in Tampa's the same thing. Yeah, so yeah, 643 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,880 I have a lot of friends too that there. They struggle with that, 644 00:45:49,079 --> 00:45:51,960 and it's some of them are in the entertainment industry, some of them 645 00:45:52,079 --> 00:45:57,039 not. But they their husbands just don't want they're just it's like they got 646 00:45:57,039 --> 00:46:00,000 to drag them to the you know, let's go to the birthday party. 647 00:46:00,079 --> 00:46:02,360 Got to you know, come with us. You know, it's it's hard, 648 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:07,960 for some reason for the guys to you know, adapt the way us 649 00:46:07,039 --> 00:46:13,280 moms. It's hard for me just being a supermodel to like hanging out with 650 00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,320 others, people of her average. You know. I'm like, I don't 651 00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:19,480 know how I'm gonna relate. I think can relate to you on that is, 652 00:46:19,599 --> 00:46:24,159 how does he descend this like linear thinking crowd? It's like my bone 653 00:46:24,199 --> 00:46:29,079 structure is just different. You know, I can't. I could see why 654 00:46:29,119 --> 00:46:32,320 you would feel that way totally. I could see why. Now you came 655 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:37,440 in here with maybe a story for us. Oh, I don't know. 656 00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:39,159 It wasn't a story. I had an idea, Yeah, I had an 657 00:46:39,199 --> 00:46:42,199 idea. I want to see what you think about it. I'm kind of 658 00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:46,159 embarrassed but perfect. I think it's kind of I think it's kind of amazing, 659 00:46:46,559 --> 00:46:49,599 and then at the same time, I'm kind of embarrassed about it. 660 00:46:49,639 --> 00:46:54,440 Okay, so hear me out. I've been a Girl Scout troupe leader for 661 00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:58,480 thirteen years, right right, I've got two more years a Girl Scout tropel 662 00:46:58,599 --> 00:47:01,719 with Kirsten. Yeah, two more years. What if we started a Girl 663 00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:07,119 Scout troop for women troop. Ah, wait five? Do you know what 664 00:47:07,199 --> 00:47:10,119 a wait five spells? Oh? Boobs on the calculator? Okay, okay, 665 00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:16,000 what if we started a troop right where every month we have something we 666 00:47:16,079 --> 00:47:21,320 have to do, like you have to hire a mixologist to come and create 667 00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:27,440 your troops, like signature cocktail, and then you podcast about it and you 668 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,000 talk about what that was like, and then you set a goal for the 669 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,800 next time. This next meeting, you have to buy sexy lingerie because you 670 00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:37,599 haven't done that in a long time, and buy it for yourself and then 671 00:47:37,639 --> 00:47:42,639 try it on your significant other if you want to, but highly recommend it 672 00:47:42,679 --> 00:47:45,760 and then talk about that on a podcast. I like it. I think 673 00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:49,519 it would be very fine. Yeah, yeah, like and then it kind 674 00:47:49,559 --> 00:47:52,960 of challenges you, like why should the kids be the only ones trying new 675 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,920 things? Right? Like? Why are we done trying new things? Exactly? 676 00:47:57,039 --> 00:47:59,320 And I mean it doesn't have to be a quote girl Scout troope, 677 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,079 but like some like could we earn badges? Though, you know, yes, 678 00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:06,239 you know what. I looked into this quite a bit. If you 679 00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:12,360 start a membership program on YouTube, you can create your own stickers and then 680 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,519 you can earn a sticker and then when you comment on YouTube, it shows 681 00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:19,159 all the stickers you've earned. Really, yes, how cool is that? 682 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:24,599 Okay, it's amazing And I'm normally not a joiner, but I am liking 683 00:48:24,639 --> 00:48:28,280 this idea. Well, thank you. I've like, I've been embarrassed to 684 00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,639 tell anybody about it because I'm like, is it lame? Is it really 685 00:48:31,679 --> 00:48:37,280 dorky? I mean, at the end of the day, the reason I 686 00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,280 came up with this idea is a couple reasons. One is, so many 687 00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:45,519 people ask me in my podcast how you make friends as grown ups, right, 688 00:48:45,159 --> 00:48:50,639 And it is kind of hard to make friends, and it's sometimes hard 689 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:55,239 to continue to get together with friends. You know, you get so in 690 00:48:55,280 --> 00:49:00,280 this routine of whatever your life is, that to break out of it, 691 00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:05,559 unless you have some obligation, so to speak, it's hard to go. 692 00:49:05,639 --> 00:49:08,000 You know what, I need to make sure I have dinner with Stephanie. 693 00:49:08,199 --> 00:49:12,360 I haven't seen her in two months, three months. All of a sudden, 694 00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:15,239 it's three months and I haven't seen you. So I was trying to 695 00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:21,719 like put something in place that would require once a month you meet with whoever 696 00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:25,400 your little troop is, and you do whatever the goal is and then just 697 00:49:25,559 --> 00:49:30,519 a collective for all the people who are in that mindset to go. You 698 00:49:30,559 --> 00:49:32,400 know what, I'm gonna take a pole dancing class this year, this month 699 00:49:34,079 --> 00:49:38,239 just for me just to laugh my ass off because how bad will I be 700 00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:45,039 at pole dancing? Horrible? So just to kind of insert some fun and 701 00:49:45,159 --> 00:49:49,639 to not take yourself so seriously. Yeah, and you know I love it. 702 00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:53,320 You know, book clubs, like a lot of women join book clubs. 703 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:57,000 You know, I know you have a book club for the podcast, 704 00:49:57,199 --> 00:50:00,840 which I'm very grateful that you read my book at your book You know, 705 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:06,360 people join book clubs, but I think that that's not everybody loves to read. 706 00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,960 So this could be, you know, because I just joined a book 707 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:13,360 club and I promptly did not read the book that we were read. We 708 00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,920 literally had our meeting yesterday and I was one. It was me and one 709 00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:20,800 other woman were the only ones. I didn't even buy the book. I 710 00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,360 was like, I was having a stressful month and I kept thinking like I 711 00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:27,239 got to read this fucking book, you know, and it's a big book. 712 00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:30,239 It's a big ass book, really long. So every time I thought 713 00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,280 about reading the book, I was like, this is not like one hundred 714 00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:36,960 and fifty pages. This is like a four hundred page book. And I'm 715 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:38,920 like, I'm never going to finish the book, and I now I don't 716 00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:42,639 even want to start it. But I still wanted to go to the book 717 00:50:42,679 --> 00:50:45,760 club for the snacks and the camaraderie exactly. So if this was a thing 718 00:50:46,159 --> 00:50:50,599 that could have fun stuff like a stick you get to earn a sticker and 719 00:50:50,639 --> 00:50:52,800 like, and you get to hang out with your friends and you get to 720 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,639 do stuff that's not reading a book. Like why do we only have book 721 00:50:54,679 --> 00:50:59,920 clubs? Yeah, we have that. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. 722 00:51:00,119 --> 00:51:01,719 That's a great idea. Like one month, you could have a field 723 00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:05,559 trip, and the field trip could be learn how to rock climb. I 724 00:51:05,559 --> 00:51:08,119 don't know, yeah, or I'm trying to think of things that anyone could 725 00:51:08,159 --> 00:51:13,119 do at any socioeconomic level. Right, maybe you can't hire a mixologist to 726 00:51:13,119 --> 00:51:15,920 come and teach you, but I guarantee you you can go, Hey, 727 00:51:15,119 --> 00:51:20,760 local bartender, I'll give you fifty bucks to come in thirty minutes early and 728 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,039 help me figure out how to make a cocktail. You know, And we 729 00:51:22,159 --> 00:51:27,079 got eight people in our group. Fifty bucks between eight people is not much 730 00:51:27,119 --> 00:51:30,239 money. And just to kind of just to have freaking fun. Yeah, 731 00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:34,960 just for have I know, just have something to do, because half the 732 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,760 time I get exhausted by trying to figure out something to do. You're like, 733 00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:39,199 what do you want to do? I don't know? What do you 734 00:51:39,199 --> 00:51:43,199 want to do? I don't know? Oh, never mind, right, 735 00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:45,719 That's part of the book club is you don't have to figure out what to 736 00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:47,400 do. You know the date and the time and the place, and you 737 00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:52,639 show up even if you're bad. Even if it was like everybody's going to 738 00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:55,480 make some kind of crazy appetizer that they've never made before. I like, 739 00:51:55,639 --> 00:52:00,440 it's it's there are Our theme is just apps. Yes, something you've never 740 00:52:00,519 --> 00:52:02,039 tried before that you always thought sounded good, and you're going to try to 741 00:52:02,039 --> 00:52:05,480 make it. I'm gonna make skin hard and choked up and I've never made 742 00:52:05,519 --> 00:52:07,679 it before. Totally. Maybe you just get some random people so you know 743 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:13,440 how the girl Scouts, it's they're meeting new people because it's not just who 744 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,920 you're in school with. It's like who joins this girl Scout troope, it's 745 00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:20,079 the local troop. So you could be like open it up to some people 746 00:52:20,079 --> 00:52:22,840 you don't even know. One hundred percent. I love meeting new people. 747 00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:24,840 I love that. I love. I just I don't know. I've thought, 748 00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:30,400 like Kirsen and Kathy at our other friends of our book clubs, you 749 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,320 know them. What am I talking about? Kirston Kathy, we were talking 750 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:37,599 about this one day and it just has not left me because I was like, 751 00:52:37,599 --> 00:52:38,559 what are we gonna do in our troop? Ends we've been together, 752 00:52:38,639 --> 00:52:43,760 We've seen each other every two weeks for fifteen years. That's gonna be a 753 00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:49,239 big loss, right, just the three of us ladies, just that social 754 00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:52,920 piece. And then I said, we should start this troop for ourselves, 755 00:52:53,599 --> 00:52:58,719 but make it like you know how there's Daisies and Brownies and girl Scouts and 756 00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:00,800 whatever. I was like, so the fl can be prosecco, and then 757 00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:05,320 you can bridge to rose, and then you bridge to Sauvignon block and then 758 00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:09,000 you bridge and you just bridge through every varietal of wine. Wouldn't that be 759 00:53:09,039 --> 00:53:13,119 fun? That's I know fun. I need it, Like people are, 760 00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,199 you know, since the divorce, Like I don't do anything. Like everybody's 761 00:53:16,199 --> 00:53:20,039 like you gotta get out and do stuff, meet people, blah blah blah, 762 00:53:20,079 --> 00:53:25,920 and I'm like, okay, like it where you know, I would 763 00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:30,039 definitely do it, you would. Yeah, okay, that makes me feel 764 00:53:30,039 --> 00:53:34,000 good. But where how does the podcasting come into it? Like I think 765 00:53:34,079 --> 00:53:37,280 what we would do, you just have one day a month where you do 766 00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:42,159 the activity as whoever you're in Nebarraska, you do the activity, and then 767 00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:45,679 one day a month I would have a podcast. Since I have a local 768 00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:51,360 chapter, I have another room in our studio that has a round table that 769 00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:54,000 I could set up four or five six mics and we could all just sit 770 00:53:54,039 --> 00:53:58,920 around a round table whoever's available. You know, say I have twelve women 771 00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:02,440 in my group and only three women could come on the just for instance, 772 00:54:02,599 --> 00:54:07,079 third Thursday of the month where we have our regular troop meeting, and that's 773 00:54:07,079 --> 00:54:09,440 the three that does the podcast. And then the next month this is three 774 00:54:09,599 --> 00:54:13,639 or four or five different people. And that way you get a different perspective 775 00:54:13,679 --> 00:54:15,679 and you can see all the ladies in this troop and what they think about 776 00:54:15,679 --> 00:54:19,559 it. That's how I would think about it for podcasting, because it is 777 00:54:19,639 --> 00:54:25,440 cool to share it. Yeah, to create a movement with us. Yeah, 778 00:54:25,639 --> 00:54:30,119 let me ask you this. Do we have to sell cookies CBD infused 779 00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:35,719 CBD infused cookies, party cookies? Okay? Party cookies. Okay, can 780 00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:37,480 we get behind that? All right? I sell them though in our neighborhood. 781 00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:45,519 You have to sell the cookies to support the troop. Yes, I 782 00:54:45,559 --> 00:54:51,039 have an AH eight five cookie. It's a nice boobs cookie. You could 783 00:54:51,159 --> 00:54:53,639 make this famous. Yeah, I think it's amazing. I have to tell 784 00:54:53,679 --> 00:54:58,000 you, I'm super inspired to keep. You know, when you have a 785 00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:01,079 good idea and you're like, is it dumb? It might be, it 786 00:55:01,159 --> 00:55:06,719 might be lame. No, it's really good. We're gonna get a lot 787 00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:07,960 I trust me. We're going to get a bunch of feedback on this. 788 00:55:08,039 --> 00:55:12,320 Oh yeah, but I think people should all have their own local chapters. 789 00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:15,719 That's what I'm mean. Women that are trying to make friends and yeah, 790 00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:19,400 the same what is it? Eight oh eight five? Yeah, eight oh 791 00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:22,920 eight five? And all these people can have their own eight oh eight five, 792 00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:28,000 But maybe they add another number to it so that that's their special Oh 793 00:55:28,079 --> 00:55:31,679 dash one dash five dash whatever. That's a good idea. That's a good 794 00:55:31,679 --> 00:55:36,199 idea. But yeah, I think if you create a community on Facebook or 795 00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:39,159 YouTube, YouTube, maybe easier. Because my podcast is on YouTube anyway, 796 00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:45,320 they can go and watch because that's how they would find out what we're doing 797 00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:49,920 that month, right? Yeah, oh so they you're like the master troupe. 798 00:55:50,039 --> 00:55:52,280 I am, yes, but you know, but then they all follow, 799 00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:55,000 they don't make they don't come up with their own stuff. Well I 800 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:58,599 think they probably could, but like I could say, this is what our 801 00:55:58,639 --> 00:56:00,119 troops doing this month. Yeah, I don't think we should allow people to 802 00:56:00,119 --> 00:56:06,039 come up to this. I'd like I started this, so you guys are 803 00:56:06,119 --> 00:56:09,320 all doing drag queen bingo this month. Exactly drag queen bingo. That would 804 00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:14,519 be amazing. But if that's the problem, is that to me, if 805 00:56:14,559 --> 00:56:19,760 I sit down and I brainstorm let's say like twelve episodes, which is a 806 00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,760 year, or twelve meetings, which is a year, then you know, 807 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:28,119 if you turn it, tune into that podcast, you have an idea for 808 00:56:28,199 --> 00:56:31,079 what to do that month. So we're all getting a mixologist. You do 809 00:56:31,159 --> 00:56:35,679 that in your hometown, we'll talk about it next podcast, and we'll tell 810 00:56:35,719 --> 00:56:39,440 you the next we're going to talk about mixology. And then this month you're 811 00:56:39,679 --> 00:56:43,159 learning how to pole dance. Okay, now we're going to talk about pole 812 00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:45,960 dancing. Now this month wanting to learn how to pole dance? I took 813 00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:51,480 a class already. It's pretty friggin hysterical. Is it hard? Yes? 814 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:57,880 Okay, the core strength necessary does not exist in my body. It's insane. 815 00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:02,639 But we had such a good time, just laughed and laughed and laughed, 816 00:57:02,679 --> 00:57:06,239 and our homework was to go home and try a lap dance on her 817 00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:08,880 husband. And it was the most hysterical thing I think I've ever done. 818 00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:15,440 And Bird loved it, just the idea that I was giving him a lap 819 00:57:15,519 --> 00:57:19,719 dance. Was it like I didn't have to do anything really because I was 820 00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,360 so funny. But it was so fun. And another thing I think about 821 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:28,360 too, is we don't give ourselves the opportunity to reinvent our relationships with our 822 00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,159 significant others, right, we don't. Really Again, you get in the 823 00:57:31,199 --> 00:57:36,960 same routine. But what if you just did something you could share, like 824 00:57:37,119 --> 00:57:40,480 hey, this month, go buy yourself some sexy lingerie, just that in 825 00:57:40,519 --> 00:57:45,000 and of itself, shopping at Nordstrom. I did it once and I was 826 00:57:45,039 --> 00:57:50,920 like forty five minutes, and I left there feeling like what am I doing? 827 00:57:51,679 --> 00:57:53,480 And then I got home and put it on and went, okay, 828 00:57:53,559 --> 00:57:57,519 I look, I okay, I can do this. I can do this. 829 00:57:57,639 --> 00:58:01,320 It was I challenged myself, right, and then I shared that with 830 00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:05,679 Bert, who thought is that you know the thing about sexuality with your husband. 831 00:58:05,719 --> 00:58:08,960 I think we all think that it's one thing we don't ever sit down 832 00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:14,159 and ask or talk about what it really is. So I'm concerned about like 833 00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:17,679 my backfat, and Bert goes to me, you have backfat. All I 834 00:58:17,679 --> 00:58:21,880 look at is your boobs, Like, I don't know that you have anything 835 00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:22,960 else on your body but your boobs. So I go, well, why 836 00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,920 am I worried about my back fat? I just need an amazing bra. 837 00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:30,599 And at the end of the day, all he cares about is the bra. 838 00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:35,159 I could wear granny panties and he wouldn't even see it. So my 839 00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:42,320 idea of what he's looking for is completely different. So if in eight eight 840 00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:45,159 five we explored something like that, I think that would be really cool too. 841 00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:49,800 Oh absolutely. And then when you get your husband excited, then he's 842 00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:52,280 gonna go eight to oh wait five, yeah, have fun. Let's see 843 00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,400 when you get back, let's see what you learned today. Then he's on 844 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:59,760 board too. What about our single ladies, that's okay. They all have 845 00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,840 to just go hammo for later, right, right, right? They have 846 00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:07,000 to practice it on a tender date. Oh, there you go, There 847 00:59:07,039 --> 00:59:09,440 you go, there you go. I haven't worked out the single lady part 848 00:59:09,519 --> 00:59:14,519 yet. That's the very good That's how you get a second date, right, 849 00:59:14,719 --> 00:59:16,199 there you go. Right, Oh my gosh, this has been so 850 00:59:16,199 --> 00:59:22,920 so funny. I've done the whole time. I'm so sorry. We are 851 00:59:22,079 --> 00:59:25,639 We do two other episodes a week already. They're they're tired of hearing about 852 00:59:25,679 --> 00:59:29,280 us. They want to hear you. No, yeah, so tell us. 853 00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:31,320 Okay, So what Wife of the Party is? Once a week? 854 00:59:31,559 --> 00:59:36,920 It's every Thursday, Wife of the Party. And then whin are your Your 855 00:59:36,960 --> 00:59:38,960 book club is every month? Or is it every couple of moments? We 856 00:59:39,079 --> 00:59:43,079 try to do every month. It depends on you know what. The thing 857 00:59:43,079 --> 00:59:46,719 about my podcast is, I want it to be loose because I ask people 858 00:59:46,760 --> 00:59:50,719 to come on. I've asked these two ladies to read a book, and 859 00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,079 if they don't get to it at the month, I don't want it to 860 00:59:52,079 --> 00:59:57,199 feel like work, right, So I really go by their pace. We 861 00:59:57,280 --> 01:00:00,440 try to hit once a month. We usually hit like ones every sixth weeks 862 01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:04,559 something like that. So yeah, yeah, what are you guys reading this 863 01:00:04,599 --> 01:00:09,920 month? We are reading it's called A Hundred Ways to Improve Your Life I 864 01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:16,639 think it is. This is a self help book. I'm out. Yeah, 865 01:00:16,719 --> 01:00:22,039 it's I'm barely in it. I'm barely in it. It's well written, 866 01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:27,239 but I haven't learned anything yet, so I'm waiting to learn something like 867 01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,039 I learned so much in your book. I'm good for a self help book 868 01:00:30,079 --> 01:00:35,599 if I'm learning. Your's not a self help book, obviously, but I 869 01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,880 learned so much and that just makes me so excited. Yeah, and we 870 01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:45,159 just read another. Our last book was called how to Organize Well Drowning, 871 01:00:45,039 --> 01:00:49,880 and I learned a ton in that book, and not about me. I 872 01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:53,639 learned about my daughter because the woman who wrote the book has ADHD. My 873 01:00:53,719 --> 01:00:59,280 daughter doesn't, but my daughter has dyslexia and other learning challenges. And she 874 01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:01,719 explained to me how our brain works, and it completely changed my perspective on 875 01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:06,000 my daughter. Oh interesting, that's the way I like to run. To 876 01:01:06,039 --> 01:01:08,360 have a book. But yeah, So what is your tell us? How 877 01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:14,119 to follow you on social? What's your what's your instagram? LeAnn Kreischer is 878 01:01:14,159 --> 01:01:20,000 my Instagram wife, otp dot com is my website. My I'm on YouTube. 879 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,960 I'm on wherever you get podcasts for audio versions, and I have a 880 01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:25,920 live Wife of the Party podcast in Nashville. But it's this Sunday. I 881 01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:30,360 don't know when the Sayers is the fourth? Oh good a fourteenth? Yeah, 882 01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:36,239 so anybody in Zany's and Nashville. I'm part of the Zany's Comedy Festival, 883 01:01:36,280 --> 01:01:38,480 which is crazy. It is my first ever live podcast. That's so 884 01:01:38,559 --> 01:01:43,079 exciting. Yeah for you. Yeah, so that's it, just you. 885 01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:51,840 Just it's me and uh Taylor Lewan and uh Charro Compton, which is Tyler 886 01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:54,880 Lawan and Will Compton's wives. They're also Wives of the Party and if you 887 01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:58,440 don't know who they are, they're the Busting with the Boys guys. I 888 01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:02,679 don't know if you know the Busting with the Boys podcast with Barstool their wives. 889 01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:07,519 Yeah, fun three Wives of the Party, three wives a fun night 890 01:02:07,599 --> 01:02:12,599 out guys. Go check that out. If you're in Nashville or surrounding areas. 891 01:02:12,599 --> 01:02:15,880 These people will travel, that's true. Yeah, get your sticker. 892 01:02:15,639 --> 01:02:20,559 That's that's the first. That's that's the Girl Scout thing. That's the book. 893 01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:23,280 We'll let us know about the Girl Scout thing about keep us up to 894 01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:27,960 date on that and let's have dinner or lunch. I love that. Yes, 895 01:02:28,039 --> 01:02:30,880 all three of us it's so nice to you, I know, so 896 01:02:30,039 --> 01:02:35,199 nice. Thank you so much, Leanne for coming in great and the time 897 01:02:35,239 --> 01:02:37,480 flew. It went too fast, I know. Thanks Kaylin, thank you, 898 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:45,920 thank you your parent. Now, don't have it up.