Made a stan have things Sunny sun on I hadasion night. It's so good
to see you. I actually missed you and I don't know you very well,
but i'd see our clips and I go, I miss her. I'd
like to see you again. I know, I know, wch or something.
As soon as I know, let's do that. As soon as I
finished your podcast, I was like, no, I feel like we're friends,
Like say to have her on my podcast, and like we have to
because we shared so much. It was like a our podcast was like two
hours long, lit it. You were telling me, Yeah, I was
seeing so much stuff that I wouldn't that I wouldn't really talk about outside of
therapy. Like I was just like, really, yeah, just I was.
We were talking about our relationships with our mo. I mean, it
was stuff that's not in the book, you know. I was like,
just went totally off off, we went off roading. Well. You know
the thing about when you find someone who has a similar life experience, especially
when it's as specific as that, it's kind of this sounds weird, but
it's kind of delicious, right where you're like, oh, give me what
you got, because I got we got the same, you know, it's
like someone who grew up in a boisonberry patch who did that? But some
people did and then you go, oh, you have boys and berries too.
Hold on, this is good stuff with Oh we're going, oh,
we're rowing. Special guest episode today with our special guest in studio is Leanne
Kreischer, wife of the Party. That's your podcast. Sorry, excuse me,
welcome, Thank you so much for coming in. But I have a
question. You have two kids, right, yeah? How old are they?
Nineteen and seventeen? Oh? Okay, yeah, I have seventeen year
old twins. Oh my goodness, so they around the same means senior in
high school? Mm hmmm, uh huh same. Yes, how's that going
for you? You know? Are the girls boys both boy? Girl?
Yeah? Gotcha? How's that going? It's you know, it's I'm trying
to spend as much time with them as I can, you know, because
they're going to be God willing, they're going to be off and doing their
thing soon, and their time is ticking. So and they're you know,
applying to colleges and all that. But so, uh, where where do
you guys live? Are you? Like in not specifically, but like you're
what's your address. We live in Los Angeles, yeah, the same as
you, not the valley. Like, yeah, I'm not going to say,
let's just say people have been showing up at my house, so I'm
going to say super non specific, we live in Los Angeles. Okay,
I can tell you later. That's fine. But so your kids are are
they're planning? Are they applying to schools? Or are they? Yes?
Yes, our seventeen year old is uh going away in the fall. Oh
we Oh, seventeen year old is a senior. She's a senior. Yes,
she's July birthday, so she'll media eighteen me in August. So yeah,
so she's a young August too. What's your birthday? Twentieth twenty sixth?
Nice? Fairgo what's your what's your daughter's birthday? July? What?
July eighteenth? Okay, mine's July fifth? Oh independent say almost almost?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, so so she already got her except she's she's
planning it, she's going. Yes. Is she happy about where she got
in? Yes? Let me tell you something about our household. We are
not academics, are college at all? Oh? Honey, I dropped out,
I had no degree, didn't bird took seven years get undergrad. So,
oh my god, you're in You're in good company. Lynette did not
go to college either, and cal Kaylan didn't either. Well, he went
to community college. I went to community college. That's about it. Yeah,
I dropped out of community college. Community college drop out. I dropped
out in my fourth year. So how hard is that? I was like,
I got one more year. I'm out, man, I don't even
know if I want to do what I'm studying. I don't even know who
I am. I'm leaving Florida. I started out as a psychology major and
then I transferred schools and I didn't like their psych department, so I pivoted
to finance because they're pretty similar. Yeah, oh the same. Yeah.
So and I got two years into finance and went, I don't want to
do this either. I'm moving to New York. So that's why. Where's
your accent from Georgia? Yeah? I grew up in a really small town
in Georgia, like sixteen hundred people. Wow, really small. Oh yeah,
I love the accent. Thank you. I can don't hear it anymore
because you know, it's probably bad. Because I was talking to my dad
on the way over here and my dad is like, I ain't got no
fish today. I've been fishing and got no fish. You know, he
talks like that. Actually I don't anymore, but definitely when I talk to
him, it comes back out. It's funny because I was just doing a
Southern accent when I had my dog. So I live part time at a
condo. Adam and I are doing this nesting thing. So a couple of
days a week he's at the house with the kids. But this weekend we
had we had to ship the dog out because we did a showing. We're
selling the house. So I had the dog at the house yesterday and I'm
talking to him in a Southern accent all day, and I'm like, when
did I get this Southern accent? So it's so especially when you're talking like
sweet, you know, like I love you so much. It's contagious.
It's catching. As we say, we're all going to have it by the
time by the time we're done today, I know. Right. So okay,
so you're so, did your seventeen year old apply to a lot of
schools? You were saying that you're not academic. We did this with both
academic. No, we did that with both our kids. Our kids are
our oldest daughter, Georgia is an average learner, average academic, you know,
AB's with very little effort. Yeah, no interest in ap anything.
No, and we aren't either. So when it came time for college,
I didn't want her in that kind of rat race. So we hired a
private counselor and just went like this, Hey, we don't really care where
she goes or what she studies or if she goes at all, so will
you just find out what she wants? Because she's going to tell us what
we want to hear and we're not really interested in that. We want to
know actually what she wants and then we'll execute on that. And this counselor
did that. She found out what Georgia wanted to study and learn and who
she was and how she wanted like her life to look in college, and
then applied to school's relative to that, and she got in everywhere she applied
to and then we had the same esels like that worked. So with my
massively dyslexic sent thory processing disorder, eemo, kid, can we just do
the same thing? Yeah? Yeah, my sixteen year old yeah girl,
yeah, yeah, seventeen year old girl, same, So we did the
same thing for her, and we were like, don't need her to go
to college, but if she wants to go to college, I need her
to go somewhere she's going to succeed and or at least give her the best
shot of it. And we went to see this one school and Ila was
like, that's it. I don't want to apply anywhere else. And I
made her apply to four other schools, but she got into this the one
she wanted, so she's like done, she's and we got both girls luckily
got accepted to their number one schools in October. So this whole like intense
whatever has didn't happen for our family, thank God, because we don't Burton,
I don't really care. I mean the souls really kind of careless.
Yeah, but we don't really care. We really don't. And it's odd
to be that parent in this like world today, absolutely you know where everything's
about how many did you fly to? Like one of our closest friends,
family friends daughter applied to twenty three school and I was like, why,
that's crazy. The stress of having to make a choice. You know,
if you go A or B, you're like, oh A, but if
you go ABC, D, E, F or G. You're like,
I'm lost, I don't how do you even make that choice? You know?
Yeah, we needed your counselor because my kids, I mean, we
had a counselor that wasn't great, like steered my son in the long in
the wrong direction. Stephanie's her daughter's counselor's kind of the same. Really,
your counselor told her that she should apply for psychology because she was interested in
psychology and that was totally fine and there's no issue with that. And she
got rejected from every school that she applied to, pretty much because we found
out later that that psychology is very impacted major, right for kids now,
one of the hardest majors to get into. Besides, there's a few that
are impacted. And she would have gotten into better schools had she applied to
a differ, a more niche major, but she didn't know, and you
don't know until it's too late, and you pay all this money for this
private counselor and the one piece of advice that you could have really used,
you know, is not there. So had she ended up at community college
this year and then reapplied one year of community college and reapplied and now we're
finding out like results now. But yeah, such a stressful period. And
my husband, my husband went to Syracuse, but his dad went to Princeton,
and there were all these expectations. It was a very East Coast waspy
college, you know. I remember, like I said, I didn't go
at all. I took two classes at community college and dropped out. And
I remember the first time I met my husband's parents and they were very like.
His dad said things about different about girls, like it was like Christmas
time, and he was like, oh, that's a Wendy. She's a
she to a fantastic school. And I was like, oh Jesus, this
is what I'm up against. So he and he didn't go to Princeton because
he didn't have the grades to get in, but it was always like a
disappointment to his dad. So I believe there's a little carry over in John's
mind, even though he doesn't mean to, he can't help have a little
bit of like status school. And it just makes me. It's hard because
I don't want that to I'm like, you, I don't care. Yeah,
I'm always like why didn't go to school? And I figured out my
way in life. So I think they what it takes is resiliency and hustle,
and like those things are more important than I think a college degree.
Totally curiosity. It's curiosity. It's refreshing to hear from you, like because
the at least the kids that my kids are growing up with, I mean,
all their parents went to college. You know, both parents, you
know, gone to these universities. It's a lot of person you just universities.
And it's like, my poor kids are like, like my son was
saying, you know, he was he was frustrated because he got steered in
the wrong direction from our college counselor. And he was telling his friends.
He was telling me what he was telling and his friends. It was like,
you know, well, my friends, they all have these older siblings
that are already done it. They're already at schools all these other colleges,
and then you know, their parents went to college. He's like, my
parents didn't go to college. But in fact, their dad tells them,
you know, you don't need college, you know, go to find out
what you like to do, go to work, go to a trade school
whatever, you know, But both of my kids want they want to go
so got them the college counselor. But it's like, it's it's nice to
meet people that are like, you know, we didn't go to college,
both of them to college. You know, well Bert did seven years and
I did but dropped out, right, But yeah, I think it's it's,
uh, it's interesting who This city is a weird place to raise kids,
right, Yeah, because it's such a mix of socioeconomic of creativity levels.
I guess different levels of creativity in your schools. And I know we
sent our kids to public school through eighth grade, partly because we couldn't really
afford private, and partly I think I would have chosen that anyway, because
I was a public school kid and Bert was a private school kid. And
the value system that happens in white collar families is awesome, but very different
than the value system that happens in blue collar families, Right, They're very
different currency. So like what you're talking about with the Princeton, that's a
currency of a white collar family. Right. But there's stuff that is from
my blue collar background that I'd prefer, and then there's stuff from the white
collar that I'd prefer, And then you get to kind of pick and choose.
Okay, our family culture is this part blue collar, this part white
collar, and how do we kind of times it gets confusing in that once
we shifted our girls to private school in high school, they were surrounded by
white collar values and coming from a blue collar value elementary and middle school where
we went to. Their middle school had eighteen hundred students in it. You
know, it was public school. It was fifty seven percent Latino. You
know, it was a very socioeconomically diverse group. There were a lot of
wealthy kids who sent their parents sent their kids to that school for the music
program, for the art program, for the show choir program, and then
there were kids that just lived in the neighborhood also. So it was just
kind of like going to the DMV. You know, we all go to
the DMV. Somehow the Rock gets a driver's license. I don't know how,
but you know, he goes to the DMV two in some capacity.
And so Burt and I both really liked that kind of leveler, you know,
to go, hey, you put your pants on, just like the
plumber's kid, just like Christopher Nolan's kid. You know, you all put
your pants on the same. But what we noticed about kids who grew up
once we're in this private school sect, that these that the private school kids
have such a different point of view about college and stuff than ours. And
I feel like when we go back to our public school friends, everybody's more
like we are. They're like, ah, who cares, They'll figure it
out. Who cares? They go to community's college or a trade school,
or take a gap year or work for a year and then figured it out.
It's just such a different it's so interesting to look at and like,
I'm so curious about it, to look at it and see, you know,
what matters to me, what matters in our house versus what seems to
matter in our community, versus what seems to matter in the United States.
Right, because they go back home and they are still very much like,
hey, trade school is awesome. Two year degree in agriculture, Yeah,
now you're college educated. A two year degree in agriculture or agriculture is a
step up for a lot of people in my community. Is something that wasn't
available. Right, to just have that perspective when you're sitting with you know,
I'm so disappointed you didn't go to Princeton. You go well, and
such a niche small lane of this world. I also think that, and
I can speak for all three of us because I know you a little bit.
But our kids have so much more security and like they're having a different
upbringing experience, and I know that for me, I couldn't even really see
myself at college because my home life was so dysfunctional and the way I felt
inside was just so different and like I felt, you know, I had
to be scrappy and I had to figure a lot of stuff out for myself,
and I had to kind of parent myself, and I just couldn't imagine
being at college with people telling me what to do and like living by other
people, you know what I mean. At a certain point, I was
angry, I felt sad, I was crying, and I was just like
I need to just go to LA and like do my own thing. Well,
my kids are having a very different experience. They have parents who love
them, and they have they feel like, I think it's just more comfortable
for them to see themselves, see their future and not be worried about like
how what am I gonna do next week? Well, there's probably a little
less imposter syndrome for our kids. Yes, I was all like they're gonna
figure this out right all through college, they're gonna figure out I'm really dumb.
Someone's gonna the jig is up that I am like from like hillbilly country,
Like something's gonna cat's coming out of the back at some point. I
better get out of here before I'm discovered. I definitely had that piece.
I don't think my kids had that piece. Yeah, I don't look.
So, when did you come out to LA or what brought you out to
LA? I moved to New York first. I was there for four years.
I was so lost. I studied acting for a while, and while
I was studying acting, I figured out I really like to write. So
I moved out here intending to act still, and then very shortly realized acting
was not for me. I am not the person that's like, I'm not
a pick me girl. Yeah, And I was like, oh no,
it'll pick her. She'd be way better. And I go, well,
that's not going to work. Like I can't, I'm never gonna work.
So I just dove into writing. So I just became a writer. Up
until I met Bert and had kids. I was writing all day. I
wrote like six days a week. I wrote eight screenplays in about two years.
Wow, that's amazing. It was awesome. I have four, got
optioned, one got made, and right before I got pregnant with Georgia,
like studios were asking me to like, hey, read a book and see
if you would adapt this into a screenplay, those southern books. So no
big stretch there. But so I was getting opportunities coming my way. It
was really starting to roll. And then got pregnant on the pill while I
was dating Bert, So wow, the good Lord went pivot because I was
like, well, I'm not gonna do that, Like, if that's how
this is supposed to then this is supposed to be my path. And I
got super morning sick for like six months and I could only like work my
day job in sleep. And then by the time where you was, your
relationship barely knew about a year year in change. But we were you know,
we'd been to the rodeo. We kind of knew we were headed in
that direction. It just happened a little faster than we probably would have.
And to be honest with you, the way my childhood and my background with
seven divorces between my two parents and really yeah, seven going for eight seven
so I really think that it happened the way it was supposed to because I'd
never doubted it. I have such a faith in the universe and the way
things happening, things are supposed to happen the way they're supposed to happen.
They getting pregnant on the pill made me never doubt that I was supposed to
be with Bert and that we were suppose to have kids together. So if
I had chosen to get married, I think that imposter syndrome would have gotten
me. If I had chosen to have kids, I definitely would have been
like, you definitely don't know what you're doing here, and you should not
be here for sure. So I think the universe just went for you,
honey, It's gonna have to work like this. Yeah, So it was
a blessing, really, and I just you know, once my kids were
up a little bit, I was like, oh, perfect, I'm gonna
get Isle in kindergarten. I'll go back to writing. It just doesn't work
like that for me. I can't sit down or I have not been able
to sit down and write for like forty five minutes, and then my brain
just it just makes me really frustrated. So I was like, well,
I can be frustrated at my kids all day, or I can just pause
that and find another creative outlet until they're really launched, and I can really
really do that. So that's kind of what I did. I've started writing
a little bit here and there, and I've started prepping to write a book,
so that once I was in college and I'm an empty nester, I
can kind of really focus. But I mean, I have like two proms
and you know, graduation. It's constantly the kids that you the fits and
starts of it makes me insane, so I just don't do it right.
Yeah, let's take a quick break and come right back. Okay, we're
back. So when you said you had to pivot like something else creative,
do you mean your podcast? My podcast didn't come till about six years ago,
and my kids like seventeen, So I kind of pivoted into a couple
areas. At the time, stand ups and comedians weren't selling merchandise. So
I said to Bert, I don't know why you don't sell a T shirt,
just like being a rock star. Why don't you just start selling T
shirts? So I started developing his line of merch that was kind of my
little, you know, side hustle of art because it is great design.
I'm not designing it, but I was the person that was like, how
about his face in profile? With this here and that there? You make
it? Tell me I'll pick the shirts. Said did all of that,
and then it kind of grew into Bert got the opportunity to shoot his first
special, and from the very beginning I would go watch him, obviously do
stand up and I am very opinionated, so he would be like, what'd
you think about that? And I'd go, You're so much smarter than that.
I don't understand why you say that. Why can't you elevate the way
you're thinking about that concept? Because I was a writer and so I never
wrote anything for him, but I would always kind of push his boundary and
question his laziness, right and be like, that's lazy. You're way smarter
than that. You said the F word four times in one joke, Say
it once and replace the other three with a word, and you know,
come on, And so Lynett, can you imagine how that would have gone?
Him giving notes to Adam not not something that wouldn't work, No,
no, no, he would have liked the merchandise part though, that right,
yeah, get and he would want me to sew the shirts together,
right like that. That's the kind of stuff he would have had been,
like, why are we ordering them to somebody to make T shirts? Go
to Joe Anne's fabric. It got you a sewing machine. The dust that
thing off, right, that's that's yeah. But yeah, like I let
the let I'll stick to the jokes that you do the sewing, right,
That's what he would have done. Yeah, like that. Hats off to
Bert, Yes he would he gets offensive at first? Or was he always
like, oh, thank you for no hearing your opinion? He was neither.
He was a little like the thing about bird is I think one of
our values that are the same is funny is funny period. So if you're
getting a note from your mailman that makes the joke more funny. Who cares?
That's how he thinks about it, And that's how I think about it
too. I don't care who tells me. If the idea is a good
idea, then isn't that what you're looking for? As an artist? There
should be no ego because the oh, well it's all ego, Well,
who needs that? You just need it to be the best. Whatever you're
doing, your dishes, your dinner, whatever it is, to be the
best you can be. So why wouldn't you take input. You don't have
to apply it. You can just consider it and go I don't agree,
and then I go, no problem, but I can't not say something I
see. So as long as we can do that, and we've always been
able to do that, I'll give him tons of notes he doesn't take,
and I'm like, Okay, it's your art, it's not mine. Was
he doing stand up when you met him? How did you guys meet?
He was doing stand up? I met him bowling. Oh, like a
bunch of friends. Just got a bunch of friends together, and we were
on the singles team against the couple's team. And at the end of it,
I was like, he's pretty funny, but I'm never going to stick
with a comedian, Like there's no way I'm marrying a comedian, No way.
But I knew his roommate, and I was like, give him my
number. We'll have a couple of dates and then we'll be friends for life.
He and I will be friends forever. And clearly that went a different
direction, but yeah, we just met bowling. Actually he had met we
had met two times before that, but I have no memory of it.
He I guess saw me and was like who is that? And I don't
remember meeting him. He interrupted a writing session. I got really mad at
him, and app apparently I was really bitchy and I was like, I'm
in the middle of something. Could you get out, you know, because
kind of abrupt, and he was like, hellover, high over, I
think she could take me in hand. So that's cute. So you started
to I mean, so he called you, and was it like just off
to the Oh no, he didn't call me. Oh no, he didn't
call me. I called his roommate and went, why hasn't he called me?
And the roommate goes, ask him yourself and just handed him the phone
and I went, dude, why don't you call me? And he just
stammered and stammered and stammered, and I was like, let me make this.
I thought he was scared of me. I was like, I think
he's scared of me. I think because I can be a bit much,
right, So I'm very direct. I just don't I'm just very direct,
right, Yeah, So I don't need to be like, oh, I'm
just like, why don't you call me? Uh, I'm gonna make it
easy for you. How about you ask me out? And he goes,
okay, you want to go a date. I was like, yes,
I do. So he hangs the phone up and he goes to his roommate.
She just wants me for my body. No, that was not it.
It was his brain. So he shows up to the date, like,
pulls up in front of my apartment and honks the horn because he thinks
I'm a booty call, right. I am from this part of the country
where I'm like, okay, well, if that's how we're gonna do it,
all right. You know, dudes don't always know how to write.
So I'm dressed up in like a dress and heels, and as soon as
I hit the sidewalk, He's like, oh my god, this is a
date. This is like a real date. He has a full blown panic
attack. He can't eat dinner, he can't tolerate his shoes, he has
to take his shoes off. Wow, because he's panicking because this is actually
a date and he really likes me, and there was no part of his
world that thought that this was real. He thought it was just couldn't possibly
be real. So we go to dinner. He doesn't eat dinner, and
then he guys, let's go somewhere else for dessert. He doesn't eat dessert.
Let's go somewhere else for a drink. Let's go to Ralphs and pick
up a six pack. And I'm like, dude, it's like one in
the morning, okay, just one beer from the six pack. And then
I'm like, you gotta go. It's the night's over. And he called
me at nine o'clock the next day, what are you doing this? No
chay? I was like, well, going to yoga? Can I come
too? And I'll cook your dinner? Okay? Next day, what are
you doing this? Note chain, I'm going for a hike. Can you
can I come too? And I'll cook your dinner? Okay? Every single
day, every day he called me, and I memorized his phone number the
first time he told it to me, and I believe in signs like that
where I go. I knew his phone number the first time he said it,
and I remember the first voicemail he left me. I thought, knee
jerk. I went, I could listen to that voice every day, and
I went oh, okay, and I just started paying attention to little bitty
things and yeah, we just kind of were. So was it ever weird
at the beginning, Like I don't know you were we're all again dysfunctional,
Like did you have any where you were like, oh, no, he
doesn't like me, he's not calling me, what's going on? Big fights?
I was a very I was a tester with my husband, you know,
cause created fights to see if he would, you know, come after
me. I think I probably did that. I know for sure. There
was a moment where I said, you don't want this. There's too much
going on here. I got too much baggage and you don't want it.
And he said I do, and I went, no, no, I
don't think you do. Pretty sure you don't, and he kept going,
but I do. Like literally, this was the conversation. It wasn't any
broader than that. I started kind of breaking down. I don't know how
to be in a relationship. I don't have that modeled for me. I
am in and out in three months. I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm definitely gonna screw this up. I have so much baggage that has nothing
to do with you that you're gonna have to deal with. I cry sometimes
for no reason. I'm a broken piece of shit of all this past stuff
that I haven't even told you about, and you don't want it. And
he was like, I do, so give it to me. Happened on
Zuma Beach and he picked up a rock and wrote the date on it.
And we still have the rock where I said, you don't want it,
and he said I do. I want it. This is before we were
engaged, before we were pregnant, before anything. And then I did have
another panic attack, going, I can't do this, just to a friend,
not Tim, going I can't, like I can't handle this, I
can't do this. This is not for me. I do not know what
I'm doing, and I'm definitely gonna screw this poor person up and myself up.
And she came she was like, I'll be right there. She came
over and she went, honey, you're having a panic attack and it's over
because he's the one and you're the one for him. So let's go see
Finding Nemo, and so we did. I was like, okay. So
we went to watch Finding Nemo. By the end of the movie, I
was like, okay, I think he's good, and like that was in
August. In September, I was pregnant. Wow, yeah, my god,
crazy right. Yeah, so you never got like the gross stop feeling
which grossed out. Yeah, like where you're like, it's too much.
He likes me too much, this is too real, Like I've got an
I can't do it. I don't like him. No, that's good.
So you had like you were. It seems to me like you were trying
to self sabotage for a little bit. I was just trying to be honest.
Yeah, like I'm not a walk in the park, like I got
stuff like my mom's stuff I have is date raped in college. I don't
think i'd really dealt with that. I dealt with it to a point.
But to be intimate with somebody in the way you are when you're married is
different than just you know, dating someone for three or four months and then
moving on or even a year and knowing this is not permanent. But to
be able to go, listen, I'm damaged over here, and I'm not
even willing to open that box. But if we're gonna be really married,
I'm gonna have to open that box. And I don't really want to.
Yeah, I don't want to deal with that, so it's easier for me
to go never mind on you, so I don't ever have to open that
box. And so when I told him about that being part of the box
I didn't want to open, he was like, I got it, I'm
good, give me the box. It was really crazy. Were you dating
before you a lot or at all? Or were you dating before you guys
met like other people before you met, or were you going on dates or
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I was. You weren't looking
for like the one? I didn't think that that was in the cards for
me ever, Really no, I didn't think I would be capable of that.
No, no you didn't. You weren't the marrying like I can't wait
to looking for the one? Or I think I wanted it and didn't think
I could have it. You know, I think that's what it was.
I wanted it, but just so very much did not have the tools,
and I got bored so fast. You know too, people right with your
mom and the way you grew up, you're constantly evalue, you waiting,
right and hypervigilant, hypervigilant. So if someone is easy to figure out you're
done. Was that what it was for you? Yes? Yes, yes.
Also, and I've heard this from therapists a lot when I was younger,
but my mom's love was very inconsistent. So it was like sometimes she
was like a great mom and really sweet and supportive, and other times she
was so mean and unloving for no reason that I could have control over,
because she could just be in a bad mood. But when you're a kid,
you don't understand that your parents have other things going on or or they're
very moody. You know. I didn't know that my mom was probably had
some mood stuff going on. I always thought, oh, I I'm bad
today, or I did something. So I think when later with men,
if they were just consistently like into me, I was like, oh that's
that doesn't feel comfort Yeah, what is? I need to work for it
a little bit. I need to earn it. I need to be good,
I need to be like you know what I mean. So if they
weren't, then I would just get scared and go on, this doesn't feel
comfortable. Yeah, yeah, well I know in my I've been in therapy
forever and sometimes Bert has shades of my mom, but is not my mom,
right, he has distinct differences, Like my mom was very narcissistic,
definitely comics. I want a little narcissism just to titch right. But my
mom could never uh never had accountability for anything. Every human being makes a
mistake. Of course she made mistakes, but it was never her. It's
why she divorced so many times. It was never her. Bert definitely can
reflect and go, you know what that was not okay and and make some
changes. So I'd ask my therapist and sometimes where we are maybe not optimal
because obviously there are times in your marriage where you're just missing, you know,
just kind of missing, and you constantly missing, and not bad enough
that you're leaving, but bad enough where you're like, what am I doing
here? And what's happening here? And my therapist has always said to me,
we seek things we recognize, but the optimal relationship has that one different
thing that allows you to heal from the bad parts that you recognize. Right.
Interesting, Yeah, so very much love is what you know love to
be. Our moms sound very similar in the way they love. My mom
was fun. She was so funny. Everybody loved her. She was very
generous with gifts, and then there was this other side where you're like,
whoa, that's really unhealthy and borderline abusives and not cool at all, and
then this other side was amazing, So I'd have both and that meant love
to me. So then I in with Bert and I see some it's not
abusive or anything like that, but very self focused. And when you're narcissistic,
you know your way is the highway, and sometimes Bert's way is the
highway, and then he can come back and go, h nah, it
may have been maybe a different highway. Maybe it was just me reacting or
being emotional. So she's continually said, you're actually in a healing relationship.
That sometimes triggers you that you're in the same kind of relationship as you were
with your mom, but it's drastically different because of these other factors. Right,
So, but that's why you stay. That's why it works because if
it were foreign, totally foreign to the way my mother loved me, completely
separated, then I wouldn't understand it. I wouldn't be able to accept it
wow in the way, or if he was always narcissistic and refused to ever
take accountability, then you would just be reliving correct childhood and it wouldn't work
because you have to make yourself smaller and have no issues and like you can't
ever deal with your stuff. That's right, Yeah, makes sense. I
think that for me John, the thing that the thing that reminded me of
the past and kept me was John. Uh was distant at the beginning,
except that he actually wasn't. It's just that he's very He told me that
he was. He was being a hermit. He just wasn't really interested in
dating. He was he liked to be home alone. He has like social
anxiety. So I took that to be that he's not interested enough. It
wasn't actually the case, but it's what kept me. I was like,
oh, I'm having to earn it. I know this feeling, this is
familiar. I have to chase him a little bit, you know, I
have to I have to try to get what I need. When in actuality
he actually was emotionally available, right, But it's like it took a while,
It took a few years until and really once we were like living together
that I was like, oh, I don't have to earn it, and
but then it was too late. It was too late to be uninteresting because
I was already very locked in, like we were already very much together,
like leading to marriage. So all of a sudden when I was like,
oh shit, he's very available, I'm not comfortable with that, but it
was like too late. But I think for you, though, it's probably
that you grew and learned in the context of that relationship without maybe even knowing
it. Right. I wonder if you learned, oh, hold on,
I actually can have this without it being this, because that's what I've done
with Bert is I've gone, oh, okay, this is not my mom,
this is just Bert being Bert, and it means so much less.
It's not important anymore. So what keeps me there is different than what got
me there in the beginning, right right, right? Yeah, So wonder
let's take another quick break and we're back Linett. Are you relating to this
at all? Well, there's a lot of things I'd like to say,
but I don't know saying what. Well, I mean, I you know,
oh you mean you shouldn't say yeah, gotcha? Okay, But I
am no because I had a mom that was I don't know if she was
crazy, she was very Yeah, she was definitely narcissistic, but she was
manic a lot my whole life. But but she wasn't like depressive. She
was more of like woo like happy and like too much, too much.
She was very and she was aggressive. Well she taught self defense, taught
she's a black belt. Wow, So she was you know, grabby and
like she scared me most of my I was scared of her. My dad
was my safe space. But but uh, yeah, I mean I like
being married, and you know, I mean I was with the same person
my whole pretty much adult life. You know, met Adam when I was
twenty five, you know, so you just don't know any different, you
know, and that's that's all you You're in a relationship, that's kind of
all you know, and you just think for me, like I was,
like I was just at the time dating a lot of Like I wasn't dating
that much, but every guy did date ended up being like a douche,
you know, just because I worked at ABC Network and I worked in the
in the entertainment industry. And then when I met Adam, he just didn't
it seem like the typical like he didn't have his own his own tape of
his pilot that I worked for the production company, and I was like,
well that's refreshing. What struggling comedian doesn't even have a cop didn't even see
it. I'm a pilot, so it was like a new refreshing thing,
you know. But I wanted to ask you, you know, I remember,
I just remember, you know, Adam never was a touring comedian.
He was a radio guy. And then when we started, he started having
to do with the podcast. Then he started hitting the road, and it
was after we had kids. We had little kids. So with bert a
touring comedian, like, is it hard for you having him gone a lot
on the week or you know, with just having kids? Well interesting,
do you ever feel like a single parent? Oh? I did, But
you know, funny thing is I'm an only child. So I think that
it worked for me because I like my space and I had the public school
we went to with our kids was such a great community of people that I
really related to. And there were several moms there I just created like a
family, like an extended family, urban family. There was another mom whose
husband's a big movie producer who was always gone. So the two of us
co parented our four similar age kids constantly. We would drop off pickup,
we'd do dinner. They did tennis lessons together, girl Scouts together. So
we just found each other luckily, and co parented all the way through fifth
grade, and then our kids kind of separated, went into different middle schools,
and then we kind of created that same thing in middle school because it's
really hard to be by yourself, and she don't want to be by herself
either, So you know, i'll cook this week, you cook next week.
Whatever you pick up, I'll drop off. So I kind of instinctively
just took care myself in that way. I don't it's harder now that I'm
empty nesting almost. I miss Burton now way more than I did when the
kids were little, cause your days are so fully like it or not,
your days are full, and I was just ready to get to bedtime right
and you know, just kind of relax. But now I miss him a
lot. There's like a big hole in life, it feels like, with
him gone. So I don't know what I'm going to do when I lives
in college and I really am home by myself. I'm probably gonna travel with
him some and I'll just stay home some. But you know, I'm a
weird anomaly I think I think about and so is my friend. We never
were resentful or angry that we were doing this by ourselves. I wonder if
she is a refugee from Vietnam and came here when she was eight, and
I'm from like hillbilly backwoods. You just roll your sleeves up and get done
what needs to get done. And we have a similar mentality. And our
mentality was we have the opportunity to stay home and raise our kids for them
to go do this, Okay, no problem. Yeah. Now if I
hadn't had her and the other women, I might have felt very differently.
But yeah, we both were like, yeah, well you're I mean,
for her husband, you're taking a show in London. Okay, all of
us will come there for spring break? How about that? And so that
we're all like we were just these two families that just kind of co parented
sods close to each other. Yes, they all call each other like cousins.
Yeah, we're all cousins. And then we added two more families to
the group. None of their parents traveled, but so we became this like
group of four families that had eight kids, all within the same age,
and like just yesterday, one of the other family sons asked my daughter to
prom because he was like, I just want to just not have to worry
about my date and you'll be my date. And she was like, awesome,
that'd be awesome. So so yeah, they're still really close. So
that's the second prom you're talking about. That's the second prom. Just added
last night. I was like, really, okay, second dress, let's
figure that one out. But and how is Bert with like other I'm like,
does he like hanging out with other parents? Is he one of those
like that kind of that dad that's like fun and likes to meet the other
kids's parents and hang out. Well, I'll say sort of. That was
a slow burn. Uh. He in the beginning didn't think that he could
find anybody that could relate to him. And then again, my friend who
has the husband, they what's been really fascinating is that they were kind of
at the same level in their respective careers at the same time, and they've
grown at a similar pace in their careers at the same time. So as
one elevates all of a sudden, the other one catches up and then elevates
and they catch up. And so we've always had these this one family that
we've kind of grown in tandem, and I think that's been really helpful.
And then the other two guys in our four family circle are just the nicest,
most down to earth, don't care about Hollywood. One's an attorney,
the other ones like in the world of VR, and they just don't really
care that he is. Don't really care. They care that you're Georgia and
Ila's dad and my wife loves your wife. So what are we putting on
the smoker today? That's kind of that's nice. It took a minute though,
in the beginning where it was like, I don't want to go over
to these people's houses and this kind of sucked, and I'm going to talk
to him about Very shortly he realized it's just like going home to Tampa and
talking to all your friends in Tampa's the same thing. Yeah, so yeah,
I have a lot of friends too that there. They struggle with that,
and it's some of them are in the entertainment industry, some of them
not. But they their husbands just don't want they're just it's like they got
to drag them to the you know, let's go to the birthday party.
Got to you know, come with us. You know, it's it's hard,
for some reason for the guys to you know, adapt the way us
moms. It's hard for me just being a supermodel to like hanging out with
others, people of her average. You know. I'm like, I don't
know how I'm gonna relate. I think can relate to you on that is,
how does he descend this like linear thinking crowd? It's like my bone
structure is just different. You know, I can't. I could see why
you would feel that way totally. I could see why. Now you came
in here with maybe a story for us. Oh, I don't know.
It wasn't a story. I had an idea, Yeah, I had an
idea. I want to see what you think about it. I'm kind of
embarrassed but perfect. I think it's kind of I think it's kind of amazing,
and then at the same time, I'm kind of embarrassed about it.
Okay, so hear me out. I've been a Girl Scout troupe leader for
thirteen years, right right, I've got two more years a Girl Scout tropel
with Kirsten. Yeah, two more years. What if we started a Girl
Scout troop for women troop. Ah, wait five? Do you know what
a wait five spells? Oh? Boobs on the calculator? Okay, okay,
what if we started a troop right where every month we have something we
have to do, like you have to hire a mixologist to come and create
your troops, like signature cocktail, and then you podcast about it and you
talk about what that was like, and then you set a goal for the
next time. This next meeting, you have to buy sexy lingerie because you
haven't done that in a long time, and buy it for yourself and then
try it on your significant other if you want to, but highly recommend it
and then talk about that on a podcast. I like it. I think
it would be very fine. Yeah, yeah, like and then it kind
of challenges you, like why should the kids be the only ones trying new
things? Right? Like? Why are we done trying new things? Exactly?
And I mean it doesn't have to be a quote girl Scout troope,
but like some like could we earn badges? Though, you know, yes,
you know what. I looked into this quite a bit. If you
start a membership program on YouTube, you can create your own stickers and then
you can earn a sticker and then when you comment on YouTube, it shows
all the stickers you've earned. Really, yes, how cool is that?
Okay, it's amazing And I'm normally not a joiner, but I am liking
this idea. Well, thank you. I've like, I've been embarrassed to
tell anybody about it because I'm like, is it lame? Is it really
dorky? I mean, at the end of the day, the reason I
came up with this idea is a couple reasons. One is, so many
people ask me in my podcast how you make friends as grown ups, right,
And it is kind of hard to make friends, and it's sometimes hard
to continue to get together with friends. You know, you get so in
this routine of whatever your life is, that to break out of it,
unless you have some obligation, so to speak, it's hard to go.
You know what, I need to make sure I have dinner with Stephanie.
I haven't seen her in two months, three months. All of a sudden,
it's three months and I haven't seen you. So I was trying to
like put something in place that would require once a month you meet with whoever
your little troop is, and you do whatever the goal is and then just
a collective for all the people who are in that mindset to go. You
know what, I'm gonna take a pole dancing class this year, this month
just for me just to laugh my ass off because how bad will I be
at pole dancing? Horrible? So just to kind of insert some fun and
to not take yourself so seriously. Yeah, and you know I love it.
You know, book clubs, like a lot of women join book clubs.
You know, I know you have a book club for the podcast,
which I'm very grateful that you read my book at your book You know,
people join book clubs, but I think that that's not everybody loves to read.
So this could be, you know, because I just joined a book
club and I promptly did not read the book that we were read. We
literally had our meeting yesterday and I was one. It was me and one
other woman were the only ones. I didn't even buy the book. I
was like, I was having a stressful month and I kept thinking like I
got to read this fucking book, you know, and it's a big book.
It's a big ass book, really long. So every time I thought
about reading the book, I was like, this is not like one hundred
and fifty pages. This is like a four hundred page book. And I'm
like, I'm never going to finish the book, and I now I don't
even want to start it. But I still wanted to go to the book
club for the snacks and the camaraderie exactly. So if this was a thing
that could have fun stuff like a stick you get to earn a sticker and
like, and you get to hang out with your friends and you get to
do stuff that's not reading a book. Like why do we only have book
clubs? Yeah, we have that. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
That's a great idea. Like one month, you could have a field
trip, and the field trip could be learn how to rock climb. I
don't know, yeah, or I'm trying to think of things that anyone could
do at any socioeconomic level. Right, maybe you can't hire a mixologist to
come and teach you, but I guarantee you you can go, Hey,
local bartender, I'll give you fifty bucks to come in thirty minutes early and
help me figure out how to make a cocktail. You know, And we
got eight people in our group. Fifty bucks between eight people is not much
money. And just to kind of just to have freaking fun. Yeah,
just for have I know, just have something to do, because half the
time I get exhausted by trying to figure out something to do. You're like,
what do you want to do? I don't know? What do you
want to do? I don't know? Oh, never mind, right,
That's part of the book club is you don't have to figure out what to
do. You know the date and the time and the place, and you
show up even if you're bad. Even if it was like everybody's going to
make some kind of crazy appetizer that they've never made before. I like,
it's it's there are Our theme is just apps. Yes, something you've never
tried before that you always thought sounded good, and you're going to try to
make it. I'm gonna make skin hard and choked up and I've never made
it before. Totally. Maybe you just get some random people so you know
how the girl Scouts, it's they're meeting new people because it's not just who
you're in school with. It's like who joins this girl Scout troope, it's
the local troop. So you could be like open it up to some people
you don't even know. One hundred percent. I love meeting new people.
I love that. I love. I just I don't know. I've thought,
like Kirsen and Kathy at our other friends of our book clubs, you
know them. What am I talking about? Kirston Kathy, we were talking
about this one day and it just has not left me because I was like,
what are we gonna do in our troop? Ends we've been together,
We've seen each other every two weeks for fifteen years. That's gonna be a
big loss, right, just the three of us ladies, just that social
piece. And then I said, we should start this troop for ourselves,
but make it like you know how there's Daisies and Brownies and girl Scouts and
whatever. I was like, so the fl can be prosecco, and then
you can bridge to rose, and then you bridge to Sauvignon block and then
you bridge and you just bridge through every varietal of wine. Wouldn't that be
fun? That's I know fun. I need it, Like people are,
you know, since the divorce, Like I don't do anything. Like everybody's
like you gotta get out and do stuff, meet people, blah blah blah,
and I'm like, okay, like it where you know, I would
definitely do it, you would. Yeah, okay, that makes me feel
good. But where how does the podcasting come into it? Like I think
what we would do, you just have one day a month where you do
the activity as whoever you're in Nebarraska, you do the activity, and then
one day a month I would have a podcast. Since I have a local
chapter, I have another room in our studio that has a round table that
I could set up four or five six mics and we could all just sit
around a round table whoever's available. You know, say I have twelve women
in my group and only three women could come on the just for instance,
third Thursday of the month where we have our regular troop meeting, and that's
the three that does the podcast. And then the next month this is three
or four or five different people. And that way you get a different perspective
and you can see all the ladies in this troop and what they think about
it. That's how I would think about it for podcasting, because it is
cool to share it. Yeah, to create a movement with us. Yeah,
let me ask you this. Do we have to sell cookies CBD infused
CBD infused cookies, party cookies? Okay? Party cookies. Okay, can
we get behind that? All right? I sell them though in our neighborhood.
You have to sell the cookies to support the troop. Yes, I
have an AH eight five cookie. It's a nice boobs cookie. You could
make this famous. Yeah, I think it's amazing. I have to tell
you, I'm super inspired to keep. You know, when you have a
good idea and you're like, is it dumb? It might be, it
might be lame. No, it's really good. We're gonna get a lot
I trust me. We're going to get a bunch of feedback on this.
Oh yeah, but I think people should all have their own local chapters.
That's what I'm mean. Women that are trying to make friends and yeah,
the same what is it? Eight oh eight five? Yeah, eight oh
eight five? And all these people can have their own eight oh eight five,
But maybe they add another number to it so that that's their special Oh
dash one dash five dash whatever. That's a good idea. That's a good
idea. But yeah, I think if you create a community on Facebook or
YouTube, YouTube, maybe easier. Because my podcast is on YouTube anyway,
they can go and watch because that's how they would find out what we're doing
that month, right? Yeah, oh so they you're like the master troupe.
I am, yes, but you know, but then they all follow,
they don't make they don't come up with their own stuff. Well I
think they probably could, but like I could say, this is what our
troops doing this month. Yeah, I don't think we should allow people to
come up to this. I'd like I started this, so you guys are
all doing drag queen bingo this month. Exactly drag queen bingo. That would
be amazing. But if that's the problem, is that to me, if
I sit down and I brainstorm let's say like twelve episodes, which is a
year, or twelve meetings, which is a year, then you know,
if you turn it, tune into that podcast, you have an idea for
what to do that month. So we're all getting a mixologist. You do
that in your hometown, we'll talk about it next podcast, and we'll tell
you the next we're going to talk about mixology. And then this month you're
learning how to pole dance. Okay, now we're going to talk about pole
dancing. Now this month wanting to learn how to pole dance? I took
a class already. It's pretty friggin hysterical. Is it hard? Yes?
Okay, the core strength necessary does not exist in my body. It's insane.
But we had such a good time, just laughed and laughed and laughed,
and our homework was to go home and try a lap dance on her
husband. And it was the most hysterical thing I think I've ever done.
And Bird loved it, just the idea that I was giving him a lap
dance. Was it like I didn't have to do anything really because I was
so funny. But it was so fun. And another thing I think about
too, is we don't give ourselves the opportunity to reinvent our relationships with our
significant others, right, we don't. Really Again, you get in the
same routine. But what if you just did something you could share, like
hey, this month, go buy yourself some sexy lingerie, just that in
and of itself, shopping at Nordstrom. I did it once and I was
like forty five minutes, and I left there feeling like what am I doing?
And then I got home and put it on and went, okay,
I look, I okay, I can do this. I can do this.
It was I challenged myself, right, and then I shared that with
Bert, who thought is that you know the thing about sexuality with your husband.
I think we all think that it's one thing we don't ever sit down
and ask or talk about what it really is. So I'm concerned about like
my backfat, and Bert goes to me, you have backfat. All I
look at is your boobs, Like, I don't know that you have anything
else on your body but your boobs. So I go, well, why
am I worried about my back fat? I just need an amazing bra.
And at the end of the day, all he cares about is the bra.
I could wear granny panties and he wouldn't even see it. So my
idea of what he's looking for is completely different. So if in eight eight
five we explored something like that, I think that would be really cool too.
Oh absolutely. And then when you get your husband excited, then he's
gonna go eight to oh wait five, yeah, have fun. Let's see
when you get back, let's see what you learned today. Then he's on
board too. What about our single ladies, that's okay. They all have
to just go hammo for later, right, right, right? They have
to practice it on a tender date. Oh, there you go, There
you go, there you go. I haven't worked out the single lady part
yet. That's the very good That's how you get a second date, right,
there you go. Right, Oh my gosh, this has been so
so funny. I've done the whole time. I'm so sorry. We are
We do two other episodes a week already. They're they're tired of hearing about
us. They want to hear you. No, yeah, so tell us.
Okay, So what Wife of the Party is? Once a week?
It's every Thursday, Wife of the Party. And then whin are your Your
book club is every month? Or is it every couple of moments? We
try to do every month. It depends on you know what. The thing
about my podcast is, I want it to be loose because I ask people
to come on. I've asked these two ladies to read a book, and
if they don't get to it at the month, I don't want it to
feel like work, right, So I really go by their pace. We
try to hit once a month. We usually hit like ones every sixth weeks
something like that. So yeah, yeah, what are you guys reading this
month? We are reading it's called A Hundred Ways to Improve Your Life I
think it is. This is a self help book. I'm out. Yeah,
it's I'm barely in it. I'm barely in it. It's well written,
but I haven't learned anything yet, so I'm waiting to learn something like
I learned so much in your book. I'm good for a self help book
if I'm learning. Your's not a self help book, obviously, but I
learned so much and that just makes me so excited. Yeah, and we
just read another. Our last book was called how to Organize Well Drowning,
and I learned a ton in that book, and not about me. I
learned about my daughter because the woman who wrote the book has ADHD. My
daughter doesn't, but my daughter has dyslexia and other learning challenges. And she
explained to me how our brain works, and it completely changed my perspective on
my daughter. Oh interesting, that's the way I like to run. To
have a book. But yeah, So what is your tell us? How
to follow you on social? What's your what's your instagram? LeAnn Kreischer is
my Instagram wife, otp dot com is my website. My I'm on YouTube.
I'm on wherever you get podcasts for audio versions, and I have a
live Wife of the Party podcast in Nashville. But it's this Sunday. I
don't know when the Sayers is the fourth? Oh good a fourteenth? Yeah,
so anybody in Zany's and Nashville. I'm part of the Zany's Comedy Festival,
which is crazy. It is my first ever live podcast. That's so
exciting. Yeah for you. Yeah, so that's it, just you.
Just it's me and uh Taylor Lewan and uh Charro Compton, which is Tyler
Lawan and Will Compton's wives. They're also Wives of the Party and if you
don't know who they are, they're the Busting with the Boys guys. I
don't know if you know the Busting with the Boys podcast with Barstool their wives.
Yeah, fun three Wives of the Party, three wives a fun night
out guys. Go check that out. If you're in Nashville or surrounding areas.
These people will travel, that's true. Yeah, get your sticker.
That's that's the first. That's that's the Girl Scout thing. That's the book.
We'll let us know about the Girl Scout thing about keep us up to
date on that and let's have dinner or lunch. I love that. Yes,
all three of us it's so nice to you, I know, so
nice. Thank you so much, Leanne for coming in great and the time
flew. It went too fast, I know. Thanks Kaylin, thank you,
thank you your parent. Now, don't have it up.