In the year twenty seven fourteen, a new squad of Opera Davis was chosen
by the College of Illusion. These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM
at every opportunity. Today, still working together, because really, who else
would work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune. If you have
a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find
them, maybe you can hire the Second Breakfast Club. Tony Kinney as Eddie
Falzoni, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole as Urag and
Jesse Wicks as Bill Crilliance, Nico Rodriguez as your DM. Welcome back to
the continuing Tales of a Fool's Quest. We should probably sit down and have
a talk. Would you like to show me to your sanctum. Yeah,
come on in. I hold a door for him, and so he's like,
congratulations, congratulations, and he pulls a bottle of wine out of his
pack. He looked like he was drinking earlier already, he's got a little
rosy cheeks. But you know he saw your sign bottle ten empty. So
he's like, I brought something to celebrate. And you lead him into your
sanctum, and he sits down and says, all right, so you have
become a full click. Obviously, we're kind of pending graduation. There will
be a ceremony that will happen, but starting right now tonight and my eyes
and the eyes of the rest of the staff here at the Academy, you
will be considered a fully operational Click. The ceremony will take about a week
to prepare, about five to six days. We're going to try and speed
it along so it won't be as big as what you would normally have for
a ceremony. But Eddie, you will be expected to give a speech at
the ceremony. I could do that. And the rest of you, well,
actually all of you will get a meal in your honor. So do
you have a quest right now that you would like to put in or would
you like to think about what meal you would want. I'll need to know
within the next forty eight hours to give to the caterers. No deviled eggs.
No deviled eggs or dragonfruit that's valid, or ghost peppers. Geez,
you're just crossing off my whole grocery list. What was the other one?
I'd like fish eggs and snails just make everybody else really really unhappy. Spread.
I want a really big burrito stuff with fish sticks, and instead of
a tortilla, it's a giant waffle. Okay, so you want to hit
the spot for lunch? Whatever that was? Giant waffle fishtick burritos. Something's
wrong with you? Really? And Bill? What was that? One more
time? Caviar and escargo? Caviar and s car go sure, oh,
reg oh, I do not need to eat, but we have to.
If we're catering for the town. We're gonna have a giant banquet table and
your honor, what would they like? Fish sticks and waffles. That does
sound pretty good for them, putting down table two of fish sticks and waffles.
Second course, second breakfast. Dear, do you have anything pancakes?
Pancakes? Because there wasn't enough carb zero already, correct, we got to
load up. I just want to make sure that we're all clear on the
fact that nobody said syrup. I was just thinking I was thinking of tartar
sauce, though. Branch forgot his syrup. No, no syrup, just
tartar sauce. Tartar sauce. Branch, Well, there's the fish sticks,
though, this is a ceremony. I might skip nobody else. I think
you are the guest of honor. What are we supposed to eat a lunch?
Lady's broke and you're going to be outraged about me. You were hitting
on a broom I at this point seeing that, and he takes a drink
straight from his bottle of wine, doesn't even look for a cup, just
drinks right for the bottle. I'm willing to answer questions that you might have
that I wasn't willing to answer when you were students. Are there any do
you know the Potters had a hydra? No, they don't anymore. They're
not allowed to have a hydra on school property. Well, we took care
of it. Oh that's good, thank you. I'll have to talk with
that. Talk to them about that tomorrow morning. Dean. We've heard rumors
about the previous clicks going missing disappearing lately, and that's why we're being kind
of fat tract here. What's up with that? Yeah, there are reports
coming in of different cliques being being found dead. Two of them happened in
the Evocation Nation very recently, very tracked, we very tragic. We had
asked them to come back home, and they were disentangling themselves from their political
positions that they were in over there. Most of the missions that we put
our clicks out on into other nations involve a guys, you don't go there
as illusionists. You go there under an illusion that is the nature of our
country. So it takes a little while to entangle oneself from whatever life they
have created there and come home. Unfortunately, someone that appears has sold them
out and they were found and eliminated. The more concerning issue is that one
of the clicks recently here was also eliminated in our own borders, and we
believe that might be due to a warlock. It's interesting, you know,
we were late this morning because of basically an attack on us illusory, you
know, harmless prank seemed like, but it seems maybe a little more sinister
targeted given that information. See, we were well, someone conjured a fog
and also conjured illusions of warriors from the evocation. And then this evening when
you just came up here in response to you know, my little prank,
that fog came back and also just a horde of zombies all in the evocation
Garb. But but I didn't see them. Did anyone else see these visions
you've had? Or are they very we did? Shared between you four anyone
else? Strak and the Bells had some trouble this morning too. What trouble
did they have? I'm not sure. I didn't talk to him about it
in depth, but it might be worth asking them. Hmm. Well,
I think it probably won't do any harm to tell you. When I asked
you earlier about having gain entrance to my study, someone went in there and
tampered with some of my things, including a large jar of mourning morning glory
powder. Now, what morning glory powder will do is cause hallucinations. Morning
glories themselves can cause hallucinations. But when you turn it into a reagent that
an illusion wizard can use, you can take and you can burn the powder
in someone's room or presence while they're sleeping. That same powder burned if it
came from the same plants, that if they've burned it in one area they
have powder left over, they can cast a spell and create an illusion with
it. So if the four of you are seeing the same thing, probably
what somebody did was to take that morning glory powder, burn some of it
in your rooms when you were sleeping or something. It doesn't take a lot
for you to injust it and then that powder will stay in your system for
twenty four hours. Where they can create specific illusions, and different people can
create specific illusions. So for example, you said that there were zombies and
then a fog. Yea one person probably created the fog and the other created
the zombies. Griffins this morning too, wasn't there? Yes? And a
griffin Yeah. Yeah, So we're looking at the work of three individuals at
least, yeah, at least three, that sounds like. And they also
didn't like our sign about suck it Potters. Seems curious, it does,
And I mean maybe we can chat nice with them at the commencement, make
up a little bit just a student rivalry, right, fair enough, Well,
Dean, I don't have any more questions at the moment, I don't
think, all right the rest of you. What about the incident in the
lake? Oh yeah, the incident in the lake. I've sent out two
of the instructors to investigate it and go down there. We are a little
nervous with it being on the Mermaid territory, but we well, we believe
there might be a monster that has crossed over from a different plane of existence
into our own down there, Any idea what? Not sure? Yet we
are finding a lot of the fish and other marine life down there have been
being beaten to death or strangled and then released and floating up toward the top.
So they're not eating whatever they're they're just killing. They're just killing the
bikini bottom strangler the death. Do we have any way of like communicating with
murd people? The mur people are on them. People have a tenuous relationship
with us up here. We brought this island here into their lake, and
so they have agreed to let us stay, considering it wasn't us specifically that
did it our generation, but there is an animosity there that we invaded their
territory and that we won't leave. We don't have the tools to leave now
even if we wanted to. I mean, we're illusionists. Now, this
was the time before illusionists were here only. But they're not our biggest fans.
They won't attack us unless we do something to provoke. But they're not
our friends. All right, all right, So since since we passed,
we don't have to clean up the cafeteria anymore, right, correct? Yeah?
All right. I like that part. I think I think that.
I don't think we have any other questions for you at the moment. All
right, it's been a long day. Your first quest will be given to
you formally at the ceremony, but so you know, it's not a real
mission, truly. We'll be sending you down to meet some enchanters and another
town to pick up some magic items that we requisitioned. So we'll give you
the details at the ceremony, but just rest assured there is no concerns about
having to fight a warlock or having to deal with the evocation nations, and
nothing wild like that. We will get you into these, into this new
role with baby steps, all right. Well, and he finishes his bottle
of wine and leaves the bottle on the table there just in case you need
that. I'm gonna I turn those in for the deposit. I'm going to
leave for the night. And so he stands up and starts walking out of
your house door for him. I don't like it. Something's fishy. Squad's
dying in the Evocation Nation. Had to get tipped off, you know,
we had to get ratted on by someone in the Illusion nation. Now Here
we are getting harassed by illusion magic featuring evocation, and I think the potters
are behind it. Bill, next time you chat with them, see how
they're morning. Went, wait, I have to go back. Yeah maybe
not tonight. They made me drink beer. I'm very upset. Not only
wasn't an ugly hat, it was an ugly hat full of beer. Oh,
I know. We need to keep an eye on them. Yeah,
we should go. I should sleep probably tonight. Yeah. We got looking
up pretty early. It's been an eventful day, it has indeed, all
right, So do you guys call it a night? Yeah, yeah,
I think so. I'm gonna go make sure the doors and windows are all
closed and latched. Though someone was watching us sleep, that's true. I'm
gonna investigate the room to see if I can find whatever it was that was
burning that stuff. Okay, So you go investigate, and you do find
along the threshold it looks like someone had burned some kind of paper or some
kind of parchment and had slid it under the door and was moving it back
and forth from left to right. And you find ashmarks down at the door
threshold on each of your doorways, which you didn't see that night because you
woke up two alarms going off, and charged out of your bedrooms and didn't
look. Oh we had all those kids, No, it was underclassmen around
here. We could probably hunt them down, the ones that were loading things
up and question who was in here, because yeah, they said somebody told
them to unload all those vials. Anyway, yes they did. We could
figure out who was in our house. Yeah, make sure. Wait,
they did tell us Frack, wasn't it. No, we told them to
go to fract room. But it's because they did say it was Frack.
They said, who told you this? And they said Frack, And so
you guys were like, take these to Fracts room. And he did show
up with the smoke in the zombies. He did show up with the smoke
in the zombies. Maybe the trouble that Frac had this morning was all because
of us. I forgot about that. Forgot our actions have repercussions for other
people. But no, either way, I'm gonna maybe maybe set some alarms
before we go to bed tonight. Can you do that? I can't.
Oh, well, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna tie my symbols over the
thing. Probably yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tire symbols over the
doors. We got them locked and do that thing where I leave the doors
balanced on his underclassmen. Yeah, those underclassmen that were in the hallway are
your underclassmen. They live here. Yeah, but we can't trust that all
night and last night. I mean if you if you told them to do
something, they would do it. Yeah. They're just not going to challenge
other upperclassmen unless you've told them. Yeah, we're going to tell them that
if anyone from Freck's crew, from the from the Bells comes by tonight,
don't let them in without waking one of us up. We want to talk
to them before they come in. Probably the Potters too, right, Yeah,
probably the Potters too. Okay, so you round up all the underclassmen,
you give him this lecture, and they're like, all right, house
on lockdown, boss, we got it. Yeah. Someone burned some reagents
in our rooms last night, slipped them under the doors. You guys.
See, any Frack was here, right, Yeah, Frack was here this
morning early before dawn. All right. I mean he didn't go on your
sanctum or anything. We wouldn't ever let anyone in your sanctum appreciate that,
all right. I think that's the best we can do for security for the
night, underclassmen. And I'll also change into a large spider with antlers and
make me a nice web in the corner in the ceiling out of a view,
and that's where I'll stay so I can keep monitor the door if anything
happens. Okay, I'll extend some some webbing to the doors and windows.
All right, all right, cool, I'm not gonna make you roll for
the moves for that, because I'll tell you throughout the night, no one
comes. The morning, glory powder wears off for all of you. You're
no longer affected by it, and you have successfully completed the beans mission.
And what looks like after nine episodes, day one of this campaign, to
the cafeteria, to the cabinaria, end game where the most productive people of
all time We'll be right back after these messages is a player from Carcosa Online.
Please you have the help. We are dying here, people are dying.
What the hell is this game? Hello? We hear at Ballad of
the Seven Dice. Are sorry for that interruption in your podcast listening. That
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remember no stradamus corroboration cares. And now let's get back to the fun,
all right, So you wake up the next day. Congratulations everyone, you
made it to a new day. I'm very, very proud of all of
you. Day two. Yes, you completed the main quest so far,
which was to get the beads, and so everybody gets one inspiration and inspiration
will work much like it did in a fifth edition, where you get to
reroll, but you have to choose to use the inspiration before you know what
the before we know what the impact of your last role was. Essentially,
you can have up to two inspiration at one time. So yeah, you
got bill. You slept in this cozy cloak all night long, and you
wake up and it feels like it fits a lot better. Right, So
the arms fit better, the sleeves are now the right length, and magically
formed itself to your body while you slept. And it's even got a little
hood too that you can put up and it will fit over your hat like
perfectly. You're gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it. It's
kind of neat. I like it. And it gives you the ability to
give it a magic word to activate it. But I don't know what it
does not yet. I have to give it a word to activate it.
Now I'm drawing a blank out. You don't know what your word would be,
a magic word or even a simple noise mischief. Gadget cloak. There
you go, all right, So go go gadget cloaked. You tune it
to that, and the cloak goes invisible, and you go invisible. You're
looking in a mirror and poof, you just disappear. But as soon as
you go invisible, as soon as the cloak goes active, it starts smelling
like the chamber of pots, giving it that rancid odor of just a sewer,
a freshly defecated in sewer. I wondered if that smell was gonna follow
us the Battle of the Bards. I'm gonna once again pull out my pipe
it while I walk around in for science. I'm gonna walk up next to
the other guy and see if they can smell it too, or if it's
like just for the user. Yeah. So you come out of your room
and you see people in the hallway and stuff, and you see Eddie coming
out of his room and you walk right over to him, and Eddie's like,
you smell it, dear, just step in something. When we're in
the chamber of pots. Yeah, like a whole bunch of guts. Sticky,
you smell us out here? I do, But it's not me.
I showered. I'm gonna turned visible, like uncomfortably close to Eddie. Go
take a bat, you stick It's not me. It's the cloak. I
think, oh, you said it did something quirky. I try and invisible,
I smell bad. It's perhaps it was the fish sticks. I'm gonna
just go into town and get some smelling salts. I'm gonna need him some
fish sticks. They're gonna give us free fish stick. All right. I'm
gonna go down to my desk real quick, just you know, make sure
I've got everything I need. Okay, all right, So there were some
things that you guys have had and have collected. You live here in that
sort of stuff now, but you've got access to a good group of like
standard traveling things. Are there any things that you want to grab out of
your house right now that you would like to add to your inventory? Rope?
Rope? Okay, you could grab rope, so maybe twenty five foot
spool of rope rope, excuseful. I'm just gonna grab a collection I will
have had of gold leaf I've okay, picked over time living here to have
prepared for when any day, Okay, I can't think of nothing, just
you know, my spellbook and bag of books and whatnot. You do have
things like candles and oil lanterns. Oh yeah, yeah, I mean yeah,
that's probably a good idea actually, And we grab a couple of candles,
toss them in with my bag of books, all right, matches or
whatever, and then that way if I need to read a book in the
dark, and then we grab one of the oil enterns too, one of
those novelty tie flasks. We should have ask the d N if he was
going to let the other the other teams know that we want I thought we
let them know we wont made. We just said suck at Potters. That's
true. I guess the bells, No, they're good. Everybody saw us
take the bells. No, the bells thought the Potters took theirs. Oh
yeah, that's right. Yeah, well the Potters knew we had the bells,
but the bells thought the Potters. All right, I say we stop
at the Potters first this morning. What do you guys think? Maybe maybe
we catch them at breakfast to little cafeteria. Can I sneak up all invisible
on them while they're eating? Please? You're just make it small, don
just uh. I don't know if you should flaunt that we stole their cloak.
Visibility can help it. I'm ringing the want to it. You don't
think they noticed the dead hydra? They checked on it. They didn't go
down and check yet. That seems unlikely. Is the hydra something I could
maybe study the essence of? Since I've encountered one, now I can research
and maybe someday incorporated into a form my take. Oh man, I feel
like we should put a roll to that. Yeah, from fighting it,
doing battle with it? Yeah, I would, I would say. So,
so, what's your druid or you're uh, yeah, you're druid core
stat Let's see, it's one of the moves, it says studied essence.
When you spend time in contemplation of an animal spirit, you may add its
species to those you can assume using shape shifting. Okay, so I figured
that would be DM's discretion. Yeah, I just I think because a hydra
is not really an animal, right, It's like an aberration, isn't it
monstrosity? Maybe? Yeah, so I think I'd be willing to let you
do it, but I kind of want to do a role for us do
or maybe not until I can I've leveled up to where I can get another
move. Yeah, let's do that. Let's make it pending. We'll make
it pending. So after your level U you and you get a in your
next advanced move, we will add hydra to the list of creatures not like
a fully no, I guess. Yeah, And you're not gonna be able
to like regrow parts and limbs and stuff in combat like when you take damage,
you take damage. But you could take the form of uh uh yeah,
like a baby hydra, a baby hydra with chib hydra with six heads
and three stumps. Because the one that you studied only heads, six heads
and three stumps, so and antlers. Each of those heads has a party.
Miss. Gotta be terrifying. I mean, the whole idea is terrified
just on its own. But no, that's fine, fine, Really I'm
setting unsettling part is the fact that the antlers come out of the necks and
not the heads. Why just down the back like rose a stega hydra.
Yes, it's nine brains in its tail the phagozer. All right, you
guys are all back up to full health by moving this along case porth egg
and you go get breakfast. You do anything else beforehand? No, it's
a let's head to breakfast and see if we can catch the potters there.
All right, So the cafeteria back open. Yep. So the cafeteria is
back open. They're doing scramby eggs and uh and bread. So the toasters
are still broken. They're still gonna have to we have some Gnomish engineers come
work on them. But but besides that they've got some scramby eggs and and
some bread with some butter and jam and honey, but no syrup. It's
still no syrup. I brought my leftover syrup from yesterday. I keep eying,
Jar, Are the potter is here eating? Yeah? Potters are there
eating? All right, I'm gonna go go gadget cloak and just walk up
and sit next to them at the table. All right. So you go
and you sit next to him, and you hear them talking a little bit,
just that they know that you have their bead. Essentially, is the
conversation that you get. They're complaining about how you know it's full crap.
They you know they were supposed to get the bead. Uh. They're both
of the boys are giving her mind, just the grief because her hiding space
was the dumbest hiding Obviously it didn't do the job, thanks a lot.
Theirs would have been better. And then all of a sudden, her Mike
goes, would you two shut up? It's starting to smell a lot like
Gary's cloak in here? Do you guys smell that? And Gary says it
does smell like my cloak. Donna, did you did you borrow my cloak
again. And Don's like, Gary, I'm visible. No, I didn't
borrow your cloak. You're not even supposed to have that cloak. And Gary's
like, I know, but my parents left it to me. Got it?
It smells like my parents around here, it's said, old people smell.
I'm gonna stole his heirloom. He's stole the orphan's heirloom. I'm gonna
slide while they're talking. I'm gonna slide Gary's plate in front of myself and
then take my hat down and just start talking to him all I'm eating his
food, eating his food, wearing his cloak. And Gary's like, oh
holy ah, this smells terrible. Your parents smell terrible. Just keep going.
So not only did you guys take our bead, but you also killed
our pet and stole my mom's gift that she left to me. Look,
your mom likes me better. First of all, my mom doesn't even know
you then she's dead, but everyone likes me better. I'm assuming she's a
reasonable woman. It was a reasonable woman. Tomato, kim out of whatever
keeping it? Do you guys make that smoke? I don't know what you're
talking about. And Don Beastley says, you know that Hydro was a gift
to us from Haggis. Okay, and we were not allowed to have him.
But but you killed him, and now Haggis isn't gonna allow us have
any more pets. Good, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm gonna sit
down with my scramby eggs. Bread wasn't here, Potters. You know you
weren't allowed to have that hydra down there. But I want to talk to
you about yesterday morning. Okay, do you guys have any trouble when you
got up? No, we got up, we got dressed, and we
went to class. We got there for any of you. Yeah, that's
kind of that's kind of funny, isn't it? Like funny ha ha or
funny funny? How I mean funny like I'm a clown. I amuse you.
I make you laugh. I'm here to amuse you. What do you
mean funny? Funny? How? How am I funny? Like? Funny
fishy? Oh? And I'm gonna take a bite of a fish stick.
I don't have their sticks this morning? Do it in your pocket? Yeah?
I left over one still wrapped it half a waffle. Funny fishy funny,
like the way that cloak smells. Yeah, it smells awful. But
no, we didn't run into any trouble. Why, well we did,
and then we ran into it again last night after our you know, our
little prank there. Yeah, we heard about that. Yeah, it's the
trouble we had. Best I can figure was from, Uh, it's from
morning glory dust, which I'm sure Hermi can for you guys in. But
well, I wanted to make sure it wasn't news. I'm pretty sure I
know who it is. Though. Don Beastley looks absolutely puzzled. He has
no clue what you're talking about, and he's got his eyes on a muffin.
And Gary Slaughter is like squinting at you, like trying to decide if
you're a bad guy or not, like maybe working for the dark lord that's
trying to kill him. He hasn't quite figured you out. And Hermie is
lost in thought and she says, mourning glory powder. I where did you
find morning glory powder? Well? I didn't find it. Oh someone else
did, used it against us. How do you know it was morning glory
powder? Or that's hard to come by. It is hard to come by,
but you want to know. I happen to know someone got a hold
of some that they shouldn't have. Interesting. Did you tell the Dean about
this? Yeah, because that sounds dangerous. You can really mess with someone.
Yeah, like you could make someone walk off a cliff. It's dangerous
stuff. I'm just glad it wasn't us. I think I know who it
was. Just be careful around the bells. Yeah, how were you.
I tell your underclassmen not to be so lean, not to be so lenient
about other clicks just walking into Yeah, I mean, I'll talk to them.
But we're not really that upity with our stuff, not like the bells
are. Like at the end of the day, we're all on the same
team. Yeah, but I mean your underclassmen, we're a little more prepared.
You guys mean one, that's true. Gary's like, I think we
should work on building a better making people love us. But hey, so
you got to be congratulations. We're all for that. We won't say anything
about the hydra. I mean, we don't want to get in trouble with
the Dean, so we won't bring that up. And we'll tell Hagis.
You know that it got loose and you were able to take care of it,
and but you can keep the wand that's totally fine. We won that.
But if I could get my parents' cloak back at some point, that
would be awesome. I can give spars club, I'll take it off and
I'll set it down, and while he's grabbing him and to take his muffin
and want coffee. And then after he puts it on, say, Coco,
getch a cloak and the kim turn invisible. All right, So you
did that? So johnn down in your notes, Bill that the Potters owe
you a favor. Nice and naddie, you do get the real sincere vibe
that they aren't the ones that have the morning glory of powder. Yeah,
I'm thinking that's the bellance, Frank, sounds like something. Break into Principal
Building, dean smelting study and use valuable reagents just on a prank. That's
absolutely something that marmy solid gun. Yeah. See why I wanted you guys
to face off against them. Skip the whole chapter, Fortune Screech, I
spent two weeks on his name's beach. All right, okay, cool?
Anything else here? Finished my breakfast? And uh, one of you guys
thinks we go Go talk to the bells now. On a more serious note,
there are thousands of ways that each school of magic differs from the others.
However, the academies do have similarities that are shared between them. The
most notable similarity is the terminology that is used for their students. Underclassmen,
also known as squires, are the entry level students in the schools. Most
individuals never leave this rank due to their lack of magic ability. Off Squires
will have a very basic education in magic control and the rules of their school,
but when it is determined that they will never be a fully adept magician,
they are released from their academic obligations and are allowed to follow their own
pursuits. Many squires will apply to join a clique of one of the upper
classmen. While they may never be as powerful as the upperclassmen, their ability
to use low levels of magic allows them to act as support for the more
powerful magicians. Many squires will take up normal lives in the nation where their
academy resides, for example, in the Illusion Nation. Many squires that do
not join cliques will find their place in one of the established towns or among
a wandering clan. Illusionists squires are highly sought after for many types of jobs
throughout the nation. Many tailors employee illusionists. The ability to cast an illusion
of an outfit on the customer and make tweaks to the outfit before ever cutting
a thread saves tailors and armourers time and materials. Illusionists squires are also responsible
for most of the world's art. Paintings, drawings, sculptures, and other
types of art can be easily commissioned by patrons when the illusionists can pass an
image to show the customer exactly what they will be buying. While there are
plenty of roles that squires can take that fit their innate abilities, their true
devotion is almost always to the nation of their school. When it comes time
for war, all mages, powerful or not will heed the call. Thank
you for listening, and I hope that you enjoyed this small piece of floor.
If you would like more tidbits, or maybe to see some maps and
talk to the cast and crew, be sure to follow us on our social
media or join our discord. All of those links and more can be found
at www dot a fools quest dot com. Thank you. This concludes this
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I'm Rod and I like to party, not like to party shoes m hmm