This it's the two seventeen Recovery Podcast with Corey Winfield. I'm kind of on
the outs with the little people of America. So I tried getting on a
dating site once and they would not let me on there. So I'm the
little person and co hold Marnie Winfield. You're tapering yourself down from your hangover
or whatever. Oh no, when that started rolling in up to a whole
another entire day of drinking, it just didn't stop. It is the twentieth
of September twenty twenty three. My name's Cory Winfield, and with me today
is not Marnie Winfield. It is Justin Burke, justin Welcome to the podcast.
How are you doing well? Man? Dow'd you hear? We're having
a little fun today. Yeah, and you're actually going to get to pick
the topic because I said in the last podcast that we did from the North
Studio, which is where we're at, that you got to pick the topic.
In the topic that you picked was cramps in your fat role. Oh
yeah, if I'm not drinking enough water, yeah, you're you're saying you're
drinking maybe too many energy drinks. Yeah, now your phone's ringing in it's
way over there because we had to move it because it was messing with the
microphones. You want to talk to her, you can answer it, we
can answer it, we can pause this. No, sure, it's fine.
He's gonna this your mom that way. Yeah. Setting boundaries, I
like it, boundaries act. Yeah, So energy drinks people in early recovery,
it happens a lot to mix. But you're you're saying because when you
went to Harvard or where'd you get your doctor? I didn't get it nowhere?
Okay the mean screets. Yeah, get your doctors of the mean screets.
But you were just assuming that, you know what, I drink a
lot of energy drinks and I don't drink a lot of water. I'm having
cramps. Obviously, if you're dehydrated, you get cramps, right, So
you're thinking that energy drinks dehydrate you. This is all speculation, not dehydrate
you. They just if you don't drink enough water in the day, you're
gonna bound up with cramps. And I've been killing the energy drinks s lately.
That has water in it, though, Oh I don't think it's makes
up for it. My wife and I have this debate often because she'll say
you never drink water, and I say, I drink water all the time.
I'm drinking a diet coke and coffee has water in it. So yeah,
but dehydrates you because the caffeine. Okay, I've heard that a couple
of times too, But the diet coke doesn't. The power raid doesn't powerade
is good for you. Well, oh, it's not power raid. It's
the sugar free power raid. Which then they'll tell me the other asperg tain
or whatever it's called. They say that is worse than sugar half a dozen
one the other. Well, we need as much ice cream as I do.
I have to cut out sugar in other areas of my life. Otherwise
I'd be like eight hundred pounds man, right, it's six hundred pound life.
You see me on there, and I'm like, what happened? Like,
well, I started drinking regular, regular drinks with sugar man, because
that aspartain was so bad for me. Junior, hand me that robe over
there. I got a couple of my steel fullp That's what I would say,
more like a sheet. Yeah, and no joke. But you know,
in Mitch, I'm not gonna tell his story or nothing, but he
kind of did already, but he lost a lot of weight and he said
that it was it was hard man, you know, being you know,
so heavy that you can't move. And I feel, you know, bad
for those people. And Mitch has kind of gotten himself together. He does
way more physical activity than I think anybody else here. Yeah, at the
office, he's always out discolfing doing stuff like that, and way more than
me. Well, hold on, let me let me phrase that. He
always says he's gonna take his recovery is discolfing. But I don't know if
he ever does. I mean, it sounds good when you say that every
weeknd I'm gonna take him. I'm taking a discolf in this weekend. Well,
typically if Mitch says he's gonna do something, he typically does it on
that Okay, wasn't sure about that, you know, but I guess you
probably talked to him more than I do. So. Yeah, but cramps
in the fat role, they're an issue. Definitely. Maybe you should try
to drink water and let me know how that goes. I'm having an update
next week about how many cramps you get right and you're in your fat role.
Was there another topic you want to talk about today. Music therapy.
Ah, music therapy. You went to another concert, didn't you? I
did, and I'm going to another one. Oh my god? What was
this last one? You went to? Betray You? Memphis Made Fire and
catch your breath? How many boobies went flying out one set? There you
go, So you're moving up, We're moving up. Nice. It was
an accidental booby show. No, she definitely got on her dude shoulders and
said look everybody as well, there's my boobies. Yeah, that was during
the tray to you. Did you see people taking pictures? Yeah, of
the chick. Well, I mean she showed them. I mean people were
taking pictures at that time and recording, but you didn't. No, I
was next to the mosh pit, so I didn't have my phone out much.
I didn't want to break it and then be like boss man, I
broke my phone at a concert and be told, well, how are you
going to get a new phone? So I kept it put away, giving
one of those Obama phones that I have just kicking around somewhere that's messed up.
Here you go, justin, here's your new phone. Good luck.
Yeah, it's all right. It's so you get in the mosh pit,
didn't break your phone, didn't get pictures of boobs. But that's cool though,
Yeah, fun, Yeah, and I didn't know catch your Brussels gonna
be there. I liked their some of their music. Okay. They got
a song called dial Tone it's really good, and another one called twenty one
gun Salute. How does the dial Tone song go? I don't remember number?
Right off him? Like that? Well, what about the other one
you were talking about? Plenty one gun Salute? How's that going? It
talks about a relationship, really yeah, on sexual relationship, no no,
no, no, no no, it talks about like ending a relationship and
then for all the heartache and bys that you went through during it, like
you know, you deserve a twenty one gun salute. It's been kind of
hard trying to find a like a nineteen twenty year old that's totally wrong,
so it's not okay, all right? Well sorry Mitch, Yeah, he
kind of had that little twisted Yeah, but they were good. And what's
the next count you're going to? I prevail bad Omens and Bad Flower and
someone else. And then there's another stage that's got like four bands on it.
I've never even heard of this is riff fest. Yes, that's over
and it would be good. Ben Flower. Are they singing this song about
suicide? Correct? Yeah, Ghosts, Yeah, yep. That came out
a couple of years ago. It was in treatment when that song was kind
of big, and I was like, I kind of like the song,
Like, wait a minute, is it okay to like the song? But
I can relate to, you know, some of it. And yeah.
So a lot of people in recovery during our time and active addiction have you
know, thought about Yeah, and I'm glad I'm still here too, But
there was times where I was like, man, this might be better,
you know. And I never thought about the family, about how it would
affect them, and I actually at the time, and this is how wrong
my thinking was. I thought that this would be easier for them because then
I would have to I would stop putting them through hell when it would be
the ultimate hell. Yeah, exactly, you know, And an active addiction
and life gets crazy. And as many times as I tried and failed and
tried and failed, you know, And I say tried, and I'm gonna
use that very loosely because I was trying to do it my way, where
I could still, and I mean, ultimately, you have to do it
your way, you know, if you really think about it, some people
like, you know, you can't do it your way. You can't do
it. You can, but you just have to let go of your old
way, you know, to think that I'm gonna go back into radio,
get a job in California and in five years I can drink again. Yeah.
I had to squash that because that was like my plan in the back
of my head, like, oh yeah, I'll fake it, I'll do
what I need to. And this is when you have to be honest with
yourself because you're the only one that's going to know this, You're the only
one that's feeling this. If you can squash that in your head and be
honest with yourself and tell yourself, like I can just never do it again.
Yeah, and once life starts happening for you, and sometimes it takes
longer. I was telling my cousin last nice. He was asking me if
I could help somebody, and I told him the importance of you know,
getting onto anti depression locations sometimes because you know how the brain works, and
if you're doing drugs during drugs, drugs, drugs drugs are drugs, and
yes, alcohols are drugs. I'm including that in there. And then you
stop. Your brain's like, oh man, we gotta make all this or
a tonin you know, we gotta make you get this dope mein going.
And so at first, if you're in detox, you're getting out of the
tax and you haven't drink a few days, you're like, wow, this
is great, man, life is awesome. It feels great not to be
hungover, and you feel great. You feel good, and then your brain
says, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we're making way too much
of this because it kind of shut down for a minute because the drugs were
doing the rest of it. So they're like, we don't have to do
nothing. So when I had the brain jumps back in. It's like,
hey, let's make all this. And then the brain's like, whoa,
slow down, we don't need to make that much, and it kind of
puts the brakes on it. And that's when a lot of people they call
it hitting the wall. And that's when it feels like nothing changes, nothing's
happening, and a normal thing that would cause someone to be interested, be
entertained, be excited, it's not it's hard. It's hard for them to
even get up to do anything, you know, and that brings them the
depression again. And a lot of people don't know this, but that's why
people will often go back and use again, because your brain is like,
hey, help help help run a little low, and you start taking a
drinking and you're like, oh yeah, I started doing drugs again. You're
like, oh yeah, yeah, this feels great, and then meanwhile you're
right back in the vicious circle again. So if there's somebody suffering depression,
you know, it's very important to talk to your doctor. There's different options.
You don't have to be on these drugs forever either, you know,
tell the doctor, but like, look I need something to you know,
their tools. Yeah, And they didn't tell me right off the bat either
that if you drink on these, it resets it back to days at zero,
So don't drink on these. And when they would tell me that,
I'm like whatever. And then one well beutri and they told me don't drink
on this because it'll cause some crazy stuff and I'm like whatever. Well,
the next thing I know, I wake up and I guess I was trying
to drown myself in a bathroom, like a bathtub, dang. Yeah,
And I don't remember any of it. And when I talked to my therapist
after that, he's like, do you see the problem here, Corey?
Like its took your own life and you don't even remember doing it, Like
you weren't even in your right mind when you had this great plan, you
know, Like, no, this is horrible, and this is why I
told you not to drink on it, you know. And I was like,
yeah, I thought you meant because it make me messed up more or
something, you know. And he's like, well it did did make it
did make you more messed up, but not in the way you wanted.
And you still didn't quit drinking after that, did you? No? Yeah,
no, nope. We're just talking earlier about the time when I was
on SQUI because I was used and meth apheta means. I was telling it
actor why I can't sleep at night, but I didn't tell her I was
doing meth amphetamans like high dose every day, you know, and like there's
no reason why I can't go to sleep at night, like that's the reason,
you know, And so she puts me on circle and tris it don't.
She just keeps up in my dose and whatnot, and I'm like,
well, when I wanted to crash out, I would take it, and
yeah, i'd crash out, But it got to the point where you know,
you'd take it and you'd start almost like blacking out, like walking in
the walls and stuff because you're just so tired that you don't even realize what
you're even doing. They call it like being quilled in the streets. But
I remember giving it to my brother and watching him do it and be like,
man, that's really how I act on this stuff. I'm not doing
it no more. Yeah. They give it to my roommate when I was
in treatment last time, and he'd get a lot of food. You bring
a lot of food up, and he would just be talking to us and
just just be out sandwich, not even chewed all the way, just hanging
out of his mouth and be like, dude, wake up. And we
were both like, Nope, whatever you're on, we're not getting on that.
And it's on sequal. I'm like, yeah, no, thanks.
Yeah, it's some heavy stuff, but some people need it though other people
don't. Yeah, But I think that's when dosing probably should come in and
you know, maybe not so much. But the transitone. I don't like
any of that stuff. Really. My doctor gave me some transitone the other
day and I took one, and I hate it. I can't wake up
in the morning, oh man. And I hate the way that I can't
just roll out of bed and be like, all right, let's go,
you know, like I really just like, oh, I just hate it.
And I took just a little bit and I just couldn't do it.
And like last night, sometimes I hate sleeping. I'm like, wake up
and I look at the clock and it's two, and I get pissed off.
I'm like, oh, when isn't it six or seven? Man,
come on, let's go. I hate that, man. It really drives
me nuts. Like I just wanted to close my eyes, open them and
then let's okay, it's time to get up now, right. I never
liked that. Man. I'm toss and turning. It sucks. I hate
it. I can relate, but I hate the transit dot feeling worse like
that, can't get out of bed, can't can't do nothing like that next
morning. And there's some people that are fine, I guess, but yeah,
I got off all my night meds, and I feel got off my
night meds. Got off night meds. Yeah all right, and just make
sure you're saying that right. Yeah, I said it right. But okay,
so you got off the night meds and I can actually wake up in
the morning. Yeah. It feels great, doesn't it. Yeah. I
mean I may hit the snooze button still once or twice, but by the
third time, I'm like, man, I really got to get up,
so I can't do the snooze thing. Man. Like every once in a
while, like because I heard that if you go back to sleep, you
better make it twenty minutes. If you can't get to twenty minutes, then
you're kind of screwing yourself because it's gonna be more tired. Yeah. But
then I've had days where I'm sitting here typing emails and I'm like, oh,
yeah, I'm talking about that earlier, and I was just like,
can't man, I'm bean writing people's emails and just falling asleep right at my
desk, right because yeah, because you're talking about the guy the next door
to our building, Yeah, sleeping in his truck. Yeah, I was
like, he must not have a love seat in his office. Yeah,
let we start talking about that. And I'm like, shoot, yeah,
I'll just You're like, what do you just kick back in your chair.
I'm like, no, I'm just typing an email. Well, when I
was taking all my night meds, like I'd come in here in the morning
and still feel drowsy and like very sluggish and trying to drink coffee, trying
to drink an energy drink, it was like, you don't even work like
I wanted to. I know. Then your jerk boss comes up and he's
like, hey man, you want to go home and start again. Stupid
guy? Yeah, person whatever he is or they are then or was pronoun
them they? Yeah, sounds about right for him. Hey nah. But
it's nice though, to be in control of that kind of stuff though,
and to know that you can talk to your doctor and like, hey,
do I need to get off these or do I need to wean off these?
You know, like what's going on? Can I just not take him?
Be good? You know? And again I'm not a doctor, just
justin so we recommend you talk to your doctor about that. Talk to your
doctor. They're gonna tell you they want your taper off. I just do
the cold Turkey method. It was kind of Yeah. I had a few
days where it was a little ros still, but I came around. Now
I just gotta quit vaping. It seems to be the thing to do now.
Yeah, somebod be. My goal on Monday is no vaping. Yeah,
and you can get nick right, gum right. You know there's patches
and we just had the vehicle detailed, so I don't even want to like
really vap in there at all. Put all the they smoke stuff on my
windows. Yeah, I mean that's kind of undoing what love your Car and
Truck did for us, right, you know, that's the place we had
a detail. Then. Pretty cool people, man, we met them today.
Yeah. They were actually really nice young business owners. Early thirties i'd
say, maybe late twenties. Yeah, I'm not I don't do women's ages
because that's that's inappropriate. Yeah, but Destiny and Isaac over there, they're
Yeah, they're cool people, man. And they asked right away do you
take donations? Like yeah, And we start talking to them and it's funny
how addiction and recovery kind of affect everybody man like in one way or another,
whether it's you, whether it's a fan fly member, whether it's a
friend, somebody who knows friends, Like there's somebody that pretty much everybody knows
that either struggled or has issues currently, you know, And yeah, the
beauty of it is recovery is possible for everybody. We're proof of that.
A couple of knuckleheads, you know, we're making things happen and there are
a lot of people that probably thought we never could. Here we are.
So you know, if somebody you love, somebody you know, friendily friend,
and all those people are just named. If they're struggling, you know,
like it's hard to say, you know, to just hang in there
with them, support them. But there's different ways to do it. And
there's a group over at Addiction Stream of Services. It's a family group.
And if you're interested in that, I get to hold the Nancy Doo because
she can really help. She kind of puts families together, you know,
So they talk about the issues and things that are going on, because not
every person's the same, not every or some response the same, you know,
but there might be some good advice or some techniques or just getting them
off your chest, you know, because it's hard for the family member to
go through and to see it their loved ones going through it and you can't
do shit about it. I'm going through it right now with my brother.
You know, he says he's not smoking moth after he got busted for meth
and fetamens. My mom bailed him out of jail, but he's drinking,
Like you're just substitute one for the other, dude, Like you're still violation
your bond. Told my mom to go pull his bond the other day,
and then she went in to tell me, well, when I was in
jail for my du I, your brother's spent about anywhere from two to twenty
five hundred dollars my money then paying one of my rent, Like I come
out of jail owing my landlord money. And I'm like how And she was
just like fiber gasses that he wouldn't even at least pay a rent, Like
he just spent all her money doing dumb and went through her house found anything
that whatever money she had staves dashed it was gone like yeah, like it's
just and that just was just a couple of years ago. And she was
like, I didn't tell you about that. I'm like no, like I
would have told you not even bail him out, you know, like he's
got to learn eventually, and like he's looking at quite a bit of time
to have to go away for it. And it's it's heart disheartening, but
at the same time, like how can you keep enabling someone to keep doing
what we're doing, you know, And maybe she doesn't know the right thing
to do, and that's her baby in there, you know. That's so
Yeah, it's hard, you know, to know when to do the right
thing, but not to do the right thing because I'll be hurting him if
I leave him in there, And it seemed like I won't love him,
and I don't want him to suffer and I don't want him to have a
hard time, and you just pray that hey, you know, maybe me
getting him out, maybe maybe he will turn it around this time. And
who knows what he said to her. He probably fed her a line of
some bullshit. Each sure did. Then she was like, okay, maybe
it's different, and look at Justin. You know, he made it.
You know, he's doing great. You know, maybe this is this is
what it's gonna take. And then clearly you said it's not changed the whole
life around, Like I realized I had to let everyone go and had go
do me for a while and too, you know, like I said,
like, that's obviously if he's not doing things he needs to be doing,
you know, it's it's gonna be harder for him. And can't do the
about it. Man, Like I even quit seeing my daughter, Like I
spent a year in county and then spent like a whole other year where I
wasn't even seeing her, you know, And it was disheartening. But at
the same time, you know, if I couldn't get myself in that right
predicament in space where I knew I was gonna be all right to have her,
like, it was one of those things, you know, And I
ended up having to go back through the courts and everything else, and they're
like, oh, well, you've done all this help better your life,
and she's still refusing you to see your kid. I'm like, yeah,
that's why we're here today. And the judge was not happy. He was
like about this, man, He goes, you're disobeying the core ordered.
It's not like you had anything, not like you came back in here to
change your core order when he was locked up in jail or nothing so you
know, he technically still had fifty fifty custody and like he has rights.
She she's like throwing that around a lot, like, well, you don't
have any rights, and yeah I do, Yeah I got. I made
sure I got fifty fifty, you know, and split rights and all that
stuff, because some people don't have rights, but you have visitations and that's
a big thing. You know, you gotta know what you got when you're
dealing with the court system like that and fight for it at a young age
because it's pain to get a hold of. And you should zoom into the
Recovery Dance meeting on Sunday. I should. It's on our app to seventeen
recovery app. You can just zoom right in that. There's also a link
to seventeen recovery dot com has the zoom password, the passwords recovery. It's
all lowercase, but it has the ID number and stuff. I'm there and
check that out and jump in Sunday mornings at ten am Recovery Dad's meeting.
Yeah, it's that stuff that that should be talked about in there. Man.
I think that's good stuff. Yeah, I should definitely do that on
one of these times. Normally I'm still in bed sleeping at ten am.
Wow, it's like I go to my mom's. I can actually just lay
down, rest, stay up all night, watch movies with my daughter,
sleeping. My mom's gone at work. Typically she's there. I'm up by
I don't know, nine ten o'clock because she will be up five am just
waiting for us to get up. So making pancakes? No, oh,
no, I wish that was the case. My mom. My mom's apartment,
it's like tiny, Like her downstairs kitchen area is smaller than your office.
Then there's a stairway that goes off of that to her upstairs living room
to her bedroom. Then another stairway and off the backside of that that goes
down to her laundry room stairs. Yeah, there's two stairwells. So it's
definitely an exercise. Get her. What's your mom? Stay in shape?
She's single? Yeah? Okay? She is it Tinder? No? Is
that the right one? We swipe left or something? Yeah? Yeah,
she ain't on no dating platforms. She says she don't want nobody. She
says she's fine with being single. Did you talk to her about lying and
tell her it's not a good thing. Nobody wants to be single. But
but I mean, I can see where she's coming from. She says some
doozy relationships over the years. She should stop getting on Tinder. Would you
freak out if you saw your mom on Tinder? If you're just swiping away
mom? Would you call her up? But like, hey, oh I
just saw you on Tender? No you wouldn't you just act like you didn't
see it. Yeah, I just let her live her life. You wouln't
like fake like Messenger, a fake account. That'd be creepy. Yeah,
I guess I don't know. My mom wouldn't be on Tender, So I
don't know. Oh I'm too old. She don't even know what Tinder is.
Oh I bet she does. I had a short how do you Spotify?
See they play this like I'm too old to understand technology, But see
they're not that old. Our grandparents absolutely well. The reason why I had
a shorter Spotify was I bought her a Jball Flip five speaker, like the
one that we got when we went down to you him. So I got
her one of those for her birthday. And she'll explained music in her Bluetooth
speaker that she had for years finally quit working and I told her. I
was like, well, don't waste your money on a junk one. She
goes, well, no, that's you're missing the point. And she had
a few, and I was just like, okay, whatever, I'll go
buy you one. I'll just go buy you a cheap one that worked for
the weekend. And because I knew her birthday was coming up the following week,
and I went out and got her a nice Bluetooth speaker, which she
loves. She thought I was gonna buy her something dumb for a birthday,
so she's like, don't buy me nothing. And she likes these laundry sheets.
They're soap. You can only buy him at Menard's. This is like
real equal friendly because containers plastic. It's cardboards have a plastic drug so it's
hands one. The other got her some some dish soap or some soap sap,
and a speaker for her birthday. It's gonna be clean. Yeah,
clothes anyway, right, it made her day. Why didn't you buy her
like a Echo Amazon Echo that or something. Her wifi's real poopy at her
house. H Why it's just the way it set up Old equipment. She
don't want to mess around with it and end up having to pay more money
than what she pays for internet. Now it's in my brother's name underneath one
of his accounts through like the government or something, where it's like five bucks
a month is all she pays for internet. Well, why wouldn't you just
paying like twenty bucks a month? You get good internet? I don't know,
I don't understand it. So but you stream movies over there? Right,
Yeah, it sucks. Why don't you do something about that? Justin
Well, I do something about I wish my boss would pay me more money
so I could be a better song. Oh, now your boss's fault,
that's your Your mother is living the way she is thought them stairs and no
internet. Well, I later some internet one day. I'm just saying,
I get my mom internet. I try. I try. I go over
there seriously, and it's basically because it's real slow and I don't like it.
But when I go over there and I try to do a podcast from
there, it like it pings at like one point six. I got like
right now, I could do it on my phone, it'd be like four
hundred whatever. Those middle big bites a second thing stuff is go to my
mom's one point one, Like how do you people even get internet to stream
TV shows? Like, how do you do it? It's impossible, you
know, to upload a podcast over there. It's just it's crazy, man,
It's crazy. And so I gave them a different router because I'm like,
I don't think the router is even fast enough for their modem to even
get that. And then one of the one I gave them isn't compatible with
their whatever service they had. That's horrible that they won't switch from for some
reason. And I'm sure they're paying way too much for it, Oh,
I'm sure. And so that wouldn't work with their things, so they get
that's my sister who has the same company, so it wouldn't work with her
shit either, And I'm like, what in the hell, Like, I
don't know, It's just one of those things, man, like, let
you let your son just set you up. They're gonna pay for it.
I'm not gonna pay for it for him, but I will set them up
the good equipment stuff. But then I think there might be like a my
stepda happy and he might be listening to this going Corey showed up, You're
stupid. You don't know what you're talking about. Maybe I don't, but
I know I did a speed test and it's at one point six or one
point two. I do know that, and it took us an hour to
upload that. So that's what I know. Yeah, my mom told me
pretty much if I wanted better internet, I could pay for it, and
I'm like, I don't pay for my own internet. You should go.
I would say, get like those things that we have, like when our
power goes out here, it works pretty good man. Yeah, I thought
about spot things. Well, if I still have my Team Mobile account,
I thought about getting her like a home internet for fifty bucks a month.
Well, those things are the thing I have is cheaper, is it?
It was like twenty bucks? Is it prone limited? Yeah? Oh really
nice? Fabulous? Yeah, as I say that, it's better than nice,
Justin, It's yes, it is. Anyway, I gotta wrap this
up. We're gonna do a twenty minute podcast. We're over achievers. We
didn't when that's like thirty minutes. So I hope you enjoyed the fat Role
cramp talk and music talk and whatever else we talked about internet speeds. Yeah,
Justin's mom on Tender or maybe not on Tender. If you're interested,
email Justin Justin at two seventeen recovery dot com. He's got picks from the
concert. Wow, he was like, she doesn't look that old. I
mean, that's that's for another time. We do have to wrap it up,
but Justin, thanks for coming in and hopefully, well I don't know
what it'll be next week before we can do one together, but yeah,
busy, Yeah, it's gonna be busy. Ye. So were people problems,
so we're people problems next time. Have a good one later. Thanks
for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcasts. For more episodes plus bonus features,
don't little to two seventeen Recovery app at Support Recovery by rating us in
the app Store