Others a Dragon, Time of Magic, Age of Mind, the Band of
he will step up to the fight, playing the powers they don't understand who
they fucking are wholly saved. The Lads Stretcher, Alighting and Words the Other
West as the Ring Cars, as a dragons drag their powers combine to you
for fancy orders. Take on a statistic games boster. Will they survive?
Open your big wet mind and accept the adventure? Other as a dragon as
a dragon. Hey, everybody, I'm John Hartness and I am playing the
role of Fendingo the Finalized. In real life, I'm the founder and publisher
of Falstaff Books, and I write a bunch of different stuff, including the
Black Night Chronicles, Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter, and The Monster Hunter,
the most recent of which is coming soon and it is called something like Wampus
Rumpus work in progress. Get out there and pre order my stuff. I'm
Joseph Brassie. I played the role of Borg Barenson, enthusiastic and violent Barbarian.
I was an author on the Mongoliad books. My novels Skyfair and Dragon
Road can be found anywhere books are sold, and I don't have a non
existent title today, because the only ones coming in my future are real ones.
Hey everyone, my name is Rick Qualtirian. I play Silas Cane Slash,
the Arrow of the Gods, who are definitely not the same person in
real life. I write several things. Keep an eye out from my latest
release coming Mate twenty second, Well Mine and Ari Carr's latest release coming May
twenty second, Deviant Dark Dryads, False Icons four. Hello friends. My
name is Ropert Pavan. I play the role of Klaus Richter, the notorious
rogue. In real life. I write The Caverns, a creature series of
comedy fantasy novels and short stories, starting with the first book, Critical Failures.
Go get It, Hi, dam My name is Steve Weverell, better
known as Brandon Fimast, sexually Attractive Monk, and formerly your favorite character in
real life. I write such books as to Doomsay Johnny's, which you can
find on the Internet. Hey, everybody, I am Drew Hayes, no
longer the dungeon Master of this ever Unpredictable Party. I am also the author
of books such as Superpowered, Spread, The Vampire Accountant and Villains Vignettes Volume
one, series of three novellas in the Villains Code Universe, available for pre
order an ebook and Prince Now. Audio date will be announced once I know
it. And when last we left our intrepid adventurers, Well, they finished,
they finished, They finished the fucking campaign. I hope you listen to
that episode first. If not, holy shit spoiler alert. Yeah, Brandon,
how does it feel to be the only one who survived after seven and
a half years. Well, if you want to call that surviving ahead in
a charge or I mean, look, he was gonna have to lose his
virginity at some point, either him or Silas, And nobody was going to
bang Silas. Nobody expected me, And I'm sure I'm sure his legs will
eventually grow back. Nobody expected me to bring the Redneck tree over into five
E. That's a deep reference. Well old, maybe more than deep.
Well, I'll never go to sleep again. That's more obscure than whatever is
in Bob's inventory. Uh so, yeah, we we hope you enjoyed Chronicles
of Calamity, the first of the authors in Dragon's Campaign, by no means
the last. We will have a little bit more to say on that later
in the episode, as John delivers a few teasers but for right now,
we're we're sort of just in a in a wrap up phase. We've got
a lot of questions to take from the episodes where we did not have room
to take them, um, and I think we're going to go through those.
But you know, first it seemed like just a good moment to kind
of sitting. How do we all feel We've been playing this for a long
time and it, you know, is finally coming to an end. How
how's everybody sitting? I opened up my role twenty and Dan dv hun before
we stared anyone. Oh, yeah, it's kind of weird. I've actually
never ended a campaign before. They've all just kind of fizzled. Yeah,
I've never ended one either. Oh that surprises me. Joe. As much
as you as much of different games as you play, I figured you would
have had one that didn't fall to shit. But that's part of the reason
you bounce from games. Because I've been, I've been. I've had ones
that have been going for a long time, but I don't have one.
I want to say. I've ended two other campaigns, and both of them
in college AKA one of the only times when everyone's just stuck being there.
I've finished like three or four campaigns. I mean I've been playing for a
long time, and I don't mean I don't mean finished those campaigns because like
everybody turned to my character. I mean actually the like, you know,
finish the campaigns for real. Yeah, we know they turned on your character.
It's like turned on Rick's character in episode two or something. No,
no, no, he said he didn't turn on his character and they turned
on Rick. Have had that happen once. I don't think I've finished one
either. We had an advantage there. We didn't like Rick when we started,
so it was easy. One person scream at me across the table one
time because uh, He's like, you're destroying everything we're building here. It's
like I'm destroying all this stuff that exists only in our imaginations. Oh no,
what a delightful energy to bring to the pie. And he wonders why
everyone wants to murder him. I was gonna say what he said, finish
a campaign of it. I was thinking more like mole combat rather than you
know, a satisfying conclusion. Oh I have had more than one TPK.
Oh yeah, I've died. Yeah, this wasn't even the first one.
I've been eating and is it the first one? Is it the first one
to go on for multiple years after you were eating? Um? Yeah,
okay, actually, you know, I'll go a step further. Not only
was I eaten, I died from being eaten because the rest of my party
neglected to do anything about it. Yeah, in our defense, there is
no defense. Well, in all, in all fairness, if you'd been
a better character I had. I had a character in four E who who
got who got swallowed multiple times? And it turned out to me his specialty
because he not only regenerated faster than nightgestive acid would do damage to him,
but he did a lot of damage while he was while he was in creatures
gullets did that just become his signature move? You start building his battlestyle around,
teleporting into the mouth pretty pretty much, he like walked up to his
like giants. No Paladin's actually in four E had all these stances of stuff
where literally, if you got swallowed whole by a tyrannosaurus, you'd come like
just bursting out of his stomach like three rounds later. There's this one.
I wander Rake could have role played anything he decided to role play. Hup,
They kids we're going to learn about four. Well, they've gone light
about it somehow, Jack. Yeah, so we have seen some campaign raps,
but regarding this one in particular, Uh, it ended very open ended.
Could have structure that better. Um, but you get the idea left
it left it open. I mean, there's there's definitely a little bit of
my love of of circles. Uh had to do something with the well.
It was too too etched into our lord not to touch it again. Um.
And it also do a little bit reflect my you know, philosophy on
a story or a series is about a set time in a person's life and
when that time ends. That's some storians. So I was trying to think
of a way other than mass death as to why you're story wouldn't. I
mean, I was half expecting the well to be one of the enemies that
was summoned to fight us. Oh my god. Oh now I'm sad I
didn't try and make art of that. One of my favorite movie franchises was
Evil Dead, which two and free had a habit of ending in a way
that suggest is that I'll vote out particular incident of chaos was over, he
could sort of go to bed safe and knowledge that the character and the chaos
were still continuing in some formats somewhere. So I was satisfied with the way
things were left. Did Rick just freeze for everybody else? Ye? Yeah,
deliberately just to fuck Yeah. Yeah. That's why cameras are helpful,
because we can see that Rick's sitting there with his mouth open like a goofball,
and he couldn't hold that pose for this long. He looks like he's
commenting on the deliciousness of Italian So I was thinking of the same. Hey,
yeah, Bob, Bob, you're also frozen or I think we can
all agree of raake to that ending. It was one spicy meat ball.
I'm got touched on the books though, because I was thinking a little bit,
I was like, well, in case anybody wants to write more of
their character books, here's a potential jumping off points. Yeah. Absolutely,
yeah. I The Ord's ending was the one I could make the least sense
of, which is fine. That's what makes it a spicy meat ball.
I like meat balls. Am I am? I still here? Okay?
Rick? However, Rick is done. He's on the toilet. It was
a spicy let's just say that lava left more than one impression. Yeah,
I think Silas definitely did have the most evil dead too, ending literally a
reverse sacrifice of the gods. That's I don't know. I can see that
spinning off quite comfortably. Just another day in the life of the world's most
unpleasant paladin. His next his his next story just begins with talking about shopping
at us. Mart I thought the idea of Silas having to deal with a
cult of Silas's was funny. Thing about Silas is you could write an entire
Silas story about that, or you could just have a Silos story where he
goes so anyway, I killed all these guys are Volcano. That's kind of
what I expect, just without a second thought. Yep, here's the one
you could just move on the most quickly and cleanly, ironically. So,
so just to like correct my memory here, did the tooth goal them ever
get used? No? Did not did not ever take tooth goal them out?
Only I did. I did give Steve the art for it, and
it's on the compilation of our final episode on YouTube. So if you want
to see what the tooth goal looked like, go watch our our final episode,
the one right before this and uh, watch the whole thing. Of
course, don't just skim to the end, but it is in that end
end compilation. Just skim to the tooth goal and you wait out. You
don't tell them where it is. Well, with the return of the Prodigal
Rick, why don't we shift over and start tackling some of y'all's questions because
y'all were for the moment. I'm still getting my ship together here. Because
I suppose I should go to the Facebook page. Do we have them?
I guess we don't have them compiled anywhere from Facebook. I'm just gonna have
to go through multiple posts. Yeah, of course, sweet don't Joe.
I mean, I suppose we could have done that, but I mean,
we've got been doing this for a few years. Yeah, but we done
a lot of things well, a little late to start learning lessons. Now,
yeah, fuck that. Those are the words of the guy who's not
running the next campaign, right, the poor bastard who's like, yeah,
no, we're gonna figure some shit out before we start the next campaign.
Oh wow, we got like twenty nine questions on Facebook. That's great.
Our friend Kyle the goof, asked a couple of weeks back if you swap
places with your game characters, how would you fair facing their challenges? And
what mischief would you get up to in our and what mischief would they get
up to in our world? I would do terribly if I swap places with
Brandon Finistic. I can barely walk. Conversely, I don't know how he'd
uh, how he'd working remotely. It's some sort of fucking blue chip company.
Whatever is I do? Um so so, Yeah, it'd go badly
for both of us until he discovered Instagram, and then he'd just have a
really fucking easy life while I was being eaten by a by a mimic or
whatever, a mimic shaped like a hamdoger. That's how I'm going out.
Claus set me up to look good. Just ease on into that role.
Yeah, Bob's like, you know, I can't pick a lock or disarm
or trap either. I'm got I got this if I just don't piss my
pants, I'm a I'm an expedicab anywhere I want. Yeah, okay,
so maybe I can't talk to the Maybe I can't talk to the weasel,
but I'm not going to tell the weasel will crawl up. Anything's butthole either,
So it seems like both parties win something promises you can't keep John,
that's fair. I don't really want Claus near my family, That's yeah,
very reasonable here. I'm pretty sure there'd be a restraining order, Like the
second he popped into this dimension, somebody would come up and just serve him
with papers. No, not within one hundred yards of the school. Buddy,
Fendingo, I think would be similar to similar to Brandon, He'd be
fucked until he found YouTube and then he'd be doing Then he'd be like walk
off the Earth, doing weird cover songs on YouTube and making a buttload of
money. I, on the other hand, would be toast. I'd be
dead magic or combatibility. So that does kind of fuck us out of the
gate in the D and D world except Joe. Yeah, and there's no
chance I could outrun any of the people that Fendingo and Silas have pissed off.
Yeah, So if I pop in and all of a sudden, I
have to deal with the aftermath of the shit we've caused, I'm fucked,
you know, I I think so, like, I don't know, I'm
maybe I could survive one encounter, depending on what how low level it was
against But I don't know who. Am I fucking kidding? Probably not um
May, but one encounter gets you XP let's get you up to level two.
That's how it starts. But uh but talking about it'd be fine.
Um but anyway, I uh yeah, first date, you got an orphanage,
dude. Just because we're recording on May the fourth doesn't mean it's a
fucking Star Wars podcast. I mean, we're not gonna go kill all the
baby Jedi. Come on, yea, we are. Jorg. On the
other hand, I think would probably um landscape my yard and be very happy
doing that. I uh oh no, wait wait, I would definitely would
hear what Rick thinks Silas would do with his life. We got him,
all right, So so Silence would probably probably be like, you know,
he'd probably eventually find himself on TV, like running one of those megachurches.
Yeah, like he would. He would be a cult leader, um and
it would and it would just be like you know that that would probably be
the thing that just burns this country finally down. Well they could figure bad
is he wouldn't be a monstrous mubby money crebbing hippocrae. You know, he'd
be a lot of terrible things, baby since Sarah bout Yeah, just not
those particular terrible things. Yeah. Yeah, I would definitely not not go
into the adventuring thing. I'd find one of those one of those places we
had we had visited and like you know, and and try to set myself
up, like you know, with my meager knowledge of science as like some
like low level wizard or something, you know, as as as I sit
there and like you know, do mystical things, like you know, like
boiled bandages before we're putting them on people's wounds and stuff, mystical things like
washing my hands. All right, I just need some soap some what oh
shit, why that's rail dead to alcohol. But he's just staying out of
the bar stap. Oh man. I feel like Gordon skin Flint would do
incredibly well, uh in this world based on his love of scamming. I
imagine the minute he discovered all the all the bullshit people do on Kendall Unlimited,
Gordon would be sailing into an ocean of horseshit that he never looked back
from. Me. On the other hand, almost certainly fucked with one caveat
if the d and d World Functions rules has written I'm gonna go boil an
ant hill, get an ass load of XP, and become a demigod.
There's a fun, fun old school reference for you. Um ants are worth
like an eighth of an experience point or something. UM, but that's static.
It doesn't go away as the level rises. So if you boil an
ant hill and kill thousands to millions of whatever ants, that's still a shitload
of experience points. Hm. You do also live in a magical world,
whether the ants might be in a few generations in that time, but not
much time anyr time at all telling the legend of the terrifying oppressor. Yeah,
you seem to forget that giant ants exist in this world, and there's
probably a giant ant demi god who's now, like you know, who's now
gunning for your ass because you've declared war under on his people. Does this
mean like those YouTubers who basically pour like liquid aluminum into ant hills are what
unkillable paragons? Yep, all youtubeers are unkillable paragons. That's just way you
get when you get to a million subscribers. But Drew's definitely got an ant
chosen one coming from at some point, well, at that point, I'll
definitely have a bonus to killing ants. They're rules working your favor, but
there are narrative rules also. It's like it's like the game Infinity Blade.
Basically, you know, Drew steps on an ant and then ten years later,
you know, father I will avenge you. He steps on an ant
and years later, father I will avenge you. And you know, at
some point an aunt would crawl into like, you know, like a Genie
bottle get like, you know, it's like I wish that motherfucker was my
size. Yeah again, I probably was already gonna die, So this way,
I'm getting a few years out of it. Kinda taken some ants with
yeah, yes, yeah, after a while, you're after a while,
the gods of the world would figure out that you're boiling ant hills and then
they'd be like, noah, we're gonna make all ants fire resistant. I
mean, that's pretty much exactly what every DM did whatever play. That's why
I said it. But the world has to function, rules has written for
it to work. That's true. But I wonder how you level up.
I wonder if you just become like an incredibly power hunt and pathful hunt with
a favorite enemy. That's just quite pointless. It's like you're a you're a
master in the world at killing hens. Hey, an HP bump is an
HP bump? Yeah, I mean, I mean there's all sorts of like
you know, tiny, tiny helpless creatures out there, and like you know,
answer adaptable like guinea pigs are not. Have you seen the D and
D world? Weird tiny helpless creature. I'm fighting on my level. Your
your weapon proficiency is a kettle. That's pretty accurate. Just bash a dragon's
headache? Oh my god? Why not? All right? Uh, moved
to our next question. I think we all did that one. I'm gonna
crack open a beer finally now that I'm not working. Ah, here's a
nice one for us to lead ourselves to. Our friend eron Tiggy asks,
are there any updates on Shingles the movie? Well, how funny you should
ask? I guess. As a recording, we're on Amazon Prime. You
can rent it at by leave reviewed especially. You can do it all free
if you really want to see this high, if you really want to give
this movie a chance. Yeah, I reckon. I watched it with the
family. Tonight. Oh wow, I'm never gonna look at your wife in
the eye again. We hadn't seen it together, but her her cousin is
visiting from uh from out of town, so yeah, good time. I've
watched a couple of days ago and I was like, oh, you did.
Okay. My dad keeps it pressing interest and I really keep trying to
drive home careful, which wish for buddy. I did drop a copy off
on our local art house video rental joint yesterday because I was in the parking
lot of the place. I'm jealous. You guys have a video rental place
singular, but yes, we do still have a video a video store,
and they have more than most and they have a local director's shelf, so
they put it on the local filmmaker's shelf. Nice. Nice, and I
think and in talking to the guys at the counter, I think that we
had a budget that was like five or eight times what most of the movies
on that shelf had. So left pointing out also that we've currently got an
award from the Strange Day's Horror Fest for Best Feature. We're currently a fine
list in the Hollywood Blood Horror Festival. Find out about that tomorrow. So
yeah, we're picking up some Widow Awards from the Widows, which is definitely
the arena we should be fighting. And so yeah, award winning movie produces
a kind of like the sound of that. Oh, and the backer rewards
are going out, some have already shipped. So if you backed the Indiego
Go and your reward was more than was more physical awards than just one movie
sent to you, that stuff's on its way. Yeah, it just occurred
to me that question could have been more than like why don't you guys suck
your own dick, because it could have been like, where's my fucking movie?
Okay, that's reasonable. Yeah, but yes, I took a trip
down yesterday and my sister is packaging things up and all of the autographed movie
posters I've already gone out, So she's working working her way through all of
that. And are we going to have copies of that to sign at authors
in Dragons Con in Portland August eleventh through thirteenth. August eleven through thirteenth,
August eleventh, thirteenth, where's that again? I think we might have some
copies to sell. Oh, I also will say I will have some physical
copies of My Villains Vignettes' book, which will be pretty new, and Amy
Landon, who is the voice of the Villains Code, will also be at
the con. So if you like getting autographed stuff, that is a chance
to get both of us who are affiliated with the series. What a cool
opportunity. August eleven to thirteenth in Portlandburg. I was just listening to an
audiobook a couple of weeks ago, and about after about the second chapter,
I was like, this voice look sounds really familiar. So I called up
on the credits on audible and sure enough it was Amy. I mean,
I'm shocked more things we listened to aren't Amy, by the vastness of her
catalog. That woman works. Yeah, this was a this was a nonfiction
h This was a nonfiction book about a serial killer in Alaska. This is
really cool. Yeah, well it was really good. Um. Yes,
we will have copies in We will have copies in Portland. We will also
have copies any damn where you see me, because i have a big box
full of Davids and Blue Rays that I'm lugging around every convention I do and
anywhere. I mean, I literally can't wait. I literally did go through
the drive through McDonald's park my car and go into the video store yet the
other day and say, here have our movie. So yeah, it really
will be down the street corner. It's like, well, if you can't
wait until then, um, you can go to Authors and Dragons dot com,
click on the movie tab and not only can you order your own DVDs
and blue rays, but we'll be keeping that updated with wherever Shingles the movie
is streaming. So if you're ever feeling that that shingles itch, depending on
which one rub some boner bobs on it and turn on the TV. Also,
no vaccine works on our shingles sleeper virulent. Let's hope we transferred that
laughter is the best medicine. All right for the moment. All right,
So our friend Paladin Steve asks, if you had to design a theme park
ride based on your game character, what would it be? All emeras except
that just normal merits hall mirrors not normal, they're like and weird and convex,
And yeah, you're thinking of a maze of marriage. I'm thinking of
a maze of mirrors. Y'all might have gotten cooler mirrors than I got my
shitty State Fair the Needland Fair apparently wasn't as kick ass as I might have
hoped. Well, the whole of Mirrors is the poor guy's version of a
maze of mirrors because he only needs like four and you know that's a whole.
It's a straight line with some fucking broken mirrors in it. What did
you expect? It's like a two dollar entry, fuck you? But no,
I guess he had a maze of mirrors too, so a lot of
people might find that stressful. I think Brandon Firemaster would just probably die in
the middle of it, quite happy. He is the minotaur in his own
maze of mirrors. Only he could find the exit, but he won't.
He refuses to beat the shit if you try and drag him there. Or
the orgs would be like a large botanical garden, except if you look at
the flowers too closely, they're screaming um a lot likely your ending. Yeah,
occasionally one of them shoots blood at you. There's like butterflies flying around,
but they all have his face. They're all screaming, screaming butterflies.
That's what that's that's what why is genetics not or genetis is not delivering that
to us. I know, we waste so much fucking time. Come on,
science, keep up. As for as for Silas, I think his
ride would be it would be an extreme, extremely long line with like no
covers, out in the sun and stuff, and then when you finally get
to the end, it's just a bunch of like guys and robes who just
beat the shit out of you, remind you that and remind you that rides
are sinful before kicking you off. Classes would be like it's a small world,
but like they're just all your enemies are around and you stand up on
the boat and try and peeing all of them and it's not what you're floating
on. It's jizz. I thought you're gonna say tunnel of love, and
it's like just some horrible flesh tunnel. No, I'm pretty love is going
to be fending go shtick, except there would be no actual love or completion
because well, for a horny bard, he couldn't get laid in a horhouse,
poor bastard. Your friends were often working against you pretty hard. Yeah,
yeah, I mean, just Silas by existing is an absolute cock block.
I don't imagine classes jerking off openly at the table was a great help.
The ends on the high yeah, fair enough, fair enough. Some
places that vibe rocks, yeah, not not the not the family run tavern
stuff. Yeah. No, places that we visited. Oh, I think
Gordon's would be a sign advertising a Champagne wave pool and then when you got
inside the doors would lock it. It would be a timeshare scam. That's
what you get when you go into a Champagne wave pool. When Champagne starts
with an S on the sign, sham truth and advertising, motherfuckers, it's
a sham paign. I think that's everybody. Yeah, I think all right.
So we got a quick request can I get up from our friend Jonah
Wilson? Can I get a fuck you Joe? No Jo have a nice
day? No fuck you Joe? Wondering? I was like, wait,
no, is this fuck you Joe comment? No, I know what I'm
either. You don't tell us what to date, right, here's one for
here's one for for us. Our friend Zack of all Trades asks, what's
the deepest cut you've ever made for a joke or a reference? Oh god,
I do not remember. Yeah, functioning memory and lack of a drinking
problem would be really handy, right, now I assume this is in our
books, right, I just don't know where we would have worked deep cuts
into the characters. Yeah, yeah, this no, this is this is
us, not our characters. I UM, this one might just be on
my brain because I wrote about it recently for my patron But um, one
of my characters in Superpowers uses the fake name Dig Bixby, which is nonsense,
but the Bixby is evoking, Um, the gentleman who played on The
Incredible Hulk, which I thought was a fun little cut. And then the
hidden joke within it is if you mix the first letters up, it becomes
big Dixby. It becomes a cock joke, which really felt appropriate for that
character. Yeah that you know, the true American great novel, The Big
Dig. And you said deep cut, I couldn't. I somehow spaced on
the fact that that usually means reference. I thought it was like, what's
the most cutting remark You've ever made? And I was gonna say, probably,
in my life, the most cutting remark I've ever made is some variation
of who are you always a good one? I like, I like waited
ten years and I've had had this plan for ten years. That's how sad
it was to make to basically make a were wolf slash star trek pun in
one of my books, which was Werewolf three five nine. That's a good
one. Uh. Probably the most most reference, Like, the biggest reference
is um Elias's sword in the Drifting Land series. Oath of Aurum is adeda
Paccinarian reference Um because Oreum is the periodic table number for gold, and the
third book of Deed to Paccinarian, where the main character becomes a paladin,
is called Oath of Gold. So that's my deep reference. Most of mine
are like most of mine are references to stuff my friends do. Like I
had Quincy Harker wear a Jane Yellow Rock Yellow Rock Securities T shirt for Faith
Hunters series I had. I had the guys of the Black Night Chronicles reading
a build of Vampire book and talking about how stupid it was at some point,
um, just talking about how that guy didn't know funck all about vampires.
I'm pretty sure this is after I knew you, Rick, but I'm
not one hundred percent sure it was I knew you. Oh, it would
be so much better for it was before. It was definitely before I read
the books. One hundred percent before I read the books, which is fair.
No, I would have been more accurate after. These things are bullshit.
And let me tell you why I made a list. Yeah, I
believe a review with all of the things that people have told me. Vampires
don't really do. John's own reviews, Like, I liked the book,
but twenty five percent of it was just ripping build the vampire. A bar
went on for like chapters and chapters. There was an action break and then
he went back in. I think I had somebody. I think I might
have had Bubba read Caverns and Creatures or something, because that kind of works
for that little Yeah. One of my characters, actually Bill Walking, and
somebody started talking about how like they were reading us Superpowers and he was just
like, yeah, I don't care. Comic book shit. Nah, thinking
Brandon Flymaster and some other guys, which is if you've been paying attention to
a riff on the Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves sort of story. There
is an entire subplot of Brandon being in the desert desperately trying to find something
to moisturize with, and his sach for oil eventually allows him to find some
sesame oil, which because it is slippery, he has trouble opening, which
eventually allows him to open the secret cave with zero knowledge of what the magic
password should be. I was obscenely proud of that, stupid, stupid jack.
Amazing. I have similar stupid jokes that I'm brought up, but I
don't remember what they are right now. No, I'm done, Go ahead,
okay, fair enough, all right? So, speaking of deep cuts,
we got one from our friend Jen here, and she said, this
one is for jew and I hope he'll answer it. Says it's something unique
to an out ended campaign. She asked. When the Wizard gave the scroll
to the gang to give to Eleven the Bitter Golem, he said it would
kill him if he read it, and it was heavily implied that he meant
it literally, but according to be Org, it just said quit whining.
And she wants to know is there actually magic on there would have killed the
golem if you read it? Or was the Wizard just being an asshole?
No, I mean he meant emotionally. I pitch it is Jesus isn't on
the cross. He's suffering and dying for man since he's in a great deal
of agony. He looks up to disguise and says, father, Wow,
why have you forsaken me? And God goes quit whining. But yeah,
yeah, yeah, that does tell us about you, isn't it That?
What he really said when he was hanging up there and utter agony, was
Peter, I can see your house from here. I gotta, I gotta,
I gotta say, like referencing that episode where we found that out.
I have never been in a position in any game where I have felt my
efforts and this is I mean this in a good way, right, I
felt my efforts deflated more rapidly because I had just spent all of this time
attempting to get the Golum to maybe treat with us and and find our way
out of having to kill someone. And I read the message weave it.
That was a point was we gave that wizard every chance not to be a
titled dick? Yeah? No, no, it was pointed as well as
like what it's like five out of six of us characters olephans like not should
you should definitely reach out to your dad? They you just read to know
and you're like, oh, I think the moral there is sometimes better if
they're an asshole, just to let them go. Everybody led a valuable lesson.
Yeah, I say, how many? How many people in the d
and the world lost a loved one? And then they liked cast to speak
with dead spell just to say like one less goodbye, and then like you
know, just they just realized, well, you were an asshole. I
really should have just left that. I wonder know how many casts to speak
with dead spell and realize all of a sudden that motherfucker faked their death.
They just ran out. What do you mean you gotta resurrected, your son
of a bitch, you went out. I guess I can see this litany
of widows casting speak with dead and another thing backseat drive in the afterlife.
Yeah, magic ain't old, Gray, I guess every magic's always going to
have a cost. And that cost might be your wife raising you from the
dead to kick your ass about not taking the trash out before you croaked.
That's that's that's why resurrection, that's why resurrection is. Its supposed to be
a voluntary thing. You know, if you don't, you have an option
of basically saying no, I ain't going back. And that's when they turned
the necromancy. But guess what, do please reincarnate, motherfucker, I'm putting
your ass in a hamster. No, I'm putting it in a weasel,
and I'm giving the weasel the clause makes a refreshing change from putting the hamster
in the ass. I guess you put the ass in the hamster, and
then you put the hamster in an ass. It's like bacon wrapped in cheese,
wrapped in bacon, only nothing like that's called a Ballantine protein on protein
in protein. I'm glad it's got a name. I'm sound most scientific.
I'm a little horrified that it has a name. Yeah, but I'm not
going to look it up to question it's something. If it's not that,
it's pretty close to that. You're talking about the hamster asked thing or the
bacon thing, well, the bacon thing the're ducking. Anytime you have a
protein within a protein within a protein that I believe is called a Ballantine.
Yeah, I don't think shoving a hamster in your ass counts if nobody's intending
to eat. Sense how much I have smoked weed and watch Top Chef.
We are not King Shame and Bob. If you want to have somebody eat
a hamster out of your ass. You can ride ahead, buddy, if
you can find a willing hamster and a willing No, I'm no, you
can't find a willing I think you can't find hamster. It's like this weird
thing of like, Okay, I took a cockroacher, shoved up a ANSWER's
ask, and a hand took the answer, shoved up my ass, and
then shoved me up an elephant's ass. Well, that's that's four. So
I don't know the term for that one. I think that one is just
bell end instead of balandine bell end in nice. All right, what's our
next question? That question? Did we answer a question? Another one from
our friend Zach? How do you think society would be different if everybody walked
around naked? All right, I'm gonna put this because this is I'm gonna
shoot I'm gonna shoot down the hippies. Sorry, I'm not everybody would be
naked. I'm not gonna fucking get on a bus seat after you've had your
unprotected sweaty taint all over it. To my unprotected sweat taint on, society
would be grosser, stickier, and deada within a matter of mumps. I
guess nobody with living cold climates. I just doesn't really seem like an option.
I mean yeah, I mean you just don't go outside like most of
us. Now that's a good point, most of us naked. Now,
Oh hey, wow are YouTube? You just spiked like a motherfucker. That's
crazy. And then immediately our subscriber count dropped to six And we appreciate you.
You're bar kind of perverts. Yeah, and you obviously have a thing
for bold guys. Well, who doesn't me That reminds It reminds me of
back when I was in the in college. I worked at this liquor store
and one of our and one of our regulars for this one summer was this
dude who was uh some like I guess he was on a He was there
for business from Australia, and he was explaining to us. He was like,
you know, I love the winter here because everybody's always walking around in
bikinis or like, you know, just wearing nothing down there. He's like,
gotta come here and they're all wearing these fur coats and that's the hottest
fucking thing. So you know, I'm thinking, I'm thinking our porn categories
would be a little reversed. Maybe all right, life clothed people, Um,
we would have a shot on only fans because just dressing, you'd be
willing to dress. Oh my god, look at the fucking perverts. Oh
yes, sweatpants. Check it out. I mean I'm wearing a pair of
jeans and like a hoodie. Yeah, and the sweats Oh it's not a
Oh god, is that a giant one dirty flannel? For only one hundred
bucks more, I will send you pictures of meat in a hat. Whoa
man, whoa? And that's what gets Rick canceled too far? Um,
okay, before we do the next my kids saw that, all right.
Our friend lamp letter asks which character, which character, either player or NBC's
Shenanigans will you miss the most Judge hungry fucking with jorg Yorg's reaction to everything
that we did, especially getting turned to blue. It's a toss up for
me because we've only got two anti characters, and what do you think about
how the game has gone. It's almost entirely down to the anti characters.
Borg's not an anti character. He's a surprising barbarian. N Dingo is a
pretty just leaning into the bad stereotype, and Brandon's just a surprising monk.
The anti characters, we've got Silas, which is the dark reflection of a
paladin, and Klaus, which is not a rogue, the incompetent reflection of
a rogue, and they both lean into the anti character aspect of it's so
hard. I'm pretty sure the vast majority of our plot points come from them
just leaning into being as unhelpful as possible. I mean yeah, because Rick
spent a fucking year shooting non existent arrows at things. I love that.
Anytime it was like, Wow, they really need me to help in this
battle invisible art. For seven years of Spike, it was literally the greatest
regret offending Go's adventuring career. And that's a lot of missed opportunities at getting
laid that that surpasses. Oh yeah, those were those were really fun.
I loved Claus's consistent ability to always end up in traps because he wasn't always
the fastest and he didn't always take the lead, but it somehow did feel
like he was drawn to the traps with his body. Yeah, best best
trap detection I've ever seen with his face. I did start trying, like
genuinely trying to find traps. And I know it was weird, like five
you didn't really seem to have a mechanic for that rope specific mechanic anyway,
but it was still left up to me what I think it had. Trap
finding tools? Yeah, there were roles you could make, you just never
asked to make it. There were things you could have done. To this
day, I still don't know what they were. I was looking. I
think the third edition he used to be like skills, right, like you
might have detected traps as you as you were you searched for traps is what
it's called. Yeah, well whatever, Well we didn't do anything. I
found them with my face. Yeah, among the pieces, Like, honestly,
I'm gonna miss everybody because that was there was. It was just such
a colorful gast um. And I can't think of anybody who didn't like put
their foot in it at some point in an incredibly artistic way. I mean,
really, who expected there to be fucking scorpions on the box? Possibly
predicted that? I mean, come the fuck on. Yeah, to reiterate
Joe's point, something I found writing the comic book, which you should have
your issue free with you soon guys, issue four coming soon. They are
an oddly kind of compatible bunch of characters, really easy to write adventures for.
I don't know what it is. I think we just kind of settled
into a groove where it just oddly worked and it shouldn't work really, Like,
say, nearly a third of our party are anti characters, but for
like writing actual funny action, everything just seemed to balance really well. It's
not the most conventional party you'd think of. If you're going to like write
a dn D movie, you probably wouldn't say bad monk masturbating, rogue the
same paladin. I don't know you've seen the DND movie Body is there a
lot of masturbating. I mean it's brilliant, by the way, not as
much as I was looking for. It's amazing. Yeah, it was good
to watch it multiple times. Just don't pay for it. Yeah, if
you want to pay for an ethical movie, Shingles a movie whose parent company
didn't send Pinkerton's to people's door. Yeah, I promise, Well, I
won't promise. I will never I will never send hide fucks to your door.
Maybe probably not. I am not making that promise. I promise.
I'm way too cheap for that. Yeah. Look, but yeah, I'll
be all like about harassing you, like passive aggressively over the phone. Maybe
I have a lot of cousins. I can get volunteer thugs all over the
place. It's fine. I did that, But the week that Watsy did
that, I walked into our local game store for Friday night magic Yell,
all right, I'm with the Pinkerton's, I'm here for your magic cards,
and only about a third of the people in the room got the reference.
Okay, the restive just ran away just in case. You never know,
A couple of them did kind of head for the door. I mean,
I'm very large magic cous are, apparently for reasons I don't understand, extremely
valuable. Um oh yeah, yeah yeah. And I were having a conversation
a few days ago and she's like, you know what if you could go
back to the nineties and or the She's like, I'd like to go back
to the seventies and get vintage barbies and then come back to today and sell
them. I was like, Nah, I'm going back to nineteen ninety three
and I'm buying every fucking black lotus. I can get my hands on.
Oh, I thought you were going the other way with that. So I'm
going back to the nineties and I'm not gonna start buying this shit. Tell
my you yourself to snap out of it, come back and play pulse control
than older, older me. There's no chance he was gonna listen. Oh,
I do want to circle back to Steve's think about the anti characters and
how they work. I think a little bit of it. At least four
um eating their own ways. That well they were anti characters, they still
managed to fill their roles pretty well. For all his faults, Silos dealt
a shitload of damage. Yeah, the fucking monster a lot of the time.
And Clouds did find the traps. Yeah, he saved us from a
lot of traps. And I did some damage in the last two episodes that
but yeah, I mean McCann learned how to play round. Yes, it's
just mentally they weren't. They still filled their rules in the party, The
Rogue found traps, the Paladin dealt damage. They just did it in their
own way. But I did notice, like I said, when I was
writing the comic book, it was just incredibly easy to call up. It's
like if I'm ever in a situation where I'm writing, I think what would
be or do or what would fending go do? It's really easy to do
that, I think. I don't think it took looking back on the podcast,
I don't think it took everybody that long to to be able to rely
on that. When we're playing a game, it's sort of like Brick and
Puppa, like constantly surprising be in a way you could rely huh yeah,
And a lot of a lot of the guys I felt like a lot of
y'all had your characters the colonel, the core of them kind of dialed in
early, like Bjorg was always kind of a peace loving head breaker headbasher,
and everybody kind of had a clear idea of who they were playing from pretty
close to the jump. I know I pivoted pretty hard after Kutharik, who
really became the Lost, because then all of a sudden, nobody could have
cast a fucking healing spell. I was like, oh, yeah, I'm
now the magic user. Fuck. But otherwise, I mean, as far
as actual playing the characters, everybody kind of knew what we were doing,
and that's probably part of even those of us were less gaming experience. We
are still writers. We do know how to make characters who do things that
follow some certain kind of logic. It all feel even the fact that we
are right is I think it all felt very serendipitous. Not all of his
are have much experience in improfit at all, and now I didn't have any
experience in improfit at all or the game of Dungeons and Dragons whatsoever. Yeah,
kind of just slided into place. I mean I remember rolling up Brandon
Firemaster as some kind of answer to the Chuck Narris means. He was always
supposed to be a guy who talked a good game but didn't really live up
to it. But instead what happened is everybody instantly fucking brought into it,
just created this this monster, and for well, that's much more fun.
It's a very organic I don't know, it's just very easy to play the
game every week. Well, let's remember that your debut on the podcast was
I believe punching a wolf so hard it flew out of its skin. Yeah,
I mean I expect that to work. And then didn't you punch something
so hard it saw its own asshole before it died? Well, that was
a person yeah. Again, sometimes the dice And that is something I will
say about a podcast, A lot of D n D podcasts, a lot
of more popular ones. They go off the rules as are written pretty quickly.
They get a little bit, a bit, little bit flighty with making
exceptions. But most of like the big money events that happened in the podcast
were just because the dice rolled even really well or really badly. Yeah,
oh yeah, it's like every time like Clouds tried to like rip my mask
off and somehow I rolled, like I rolled like an eighteen year above or
something. Yeah, and his deck is great. But but when Claus try
to show up, York had rolled the twenty it was the one. Yeah,
that's one of the Yeah, that was all day. I do think
that the fact that all I like the fact that it was pretty obvious that
we weren't going back and fudging roles. Um, yeah, we just let
shit happen, And there wasn't ever a ton of communication beforehand about okay,
well what are we doing? Okay, it was pretty obvious that there wasn't
a ton of what are we doing beforehand? John, There was no communication.
I just rolled into it. I can count the amount of times where
I had to edit something, um because the game wasn't the game rules weren't
working out for his on two fingers, I think yeah, I could say
I believe one of them was when we were lost in Drew's um was it
bees ants bees ants puzzle? Yes, the economic good. It kind of
like, we can carry on doing this, but it's going to be an
extremely fucking boring episode for everyone. Yea, So we had to kind of
edit around that. And I can't even remember the second one. Most of
it has just been where the dice fell. It felt like there was one
TPKA really early that Drew that Drew mcguffened us out of. Yes, well
they Drew had built an encounter for us having a healer who didn't show up,
so we were all kind of fucked. Yeah. I think that was
when the Seeds of Gordon got planted, the notion of oh shit, we
need a backup just in case, Yeah, flexibility, because Catharic was still
in the party at that time, and that was when I was on hiatus.
It was one of the earliest Brandon episodes. I think. Yeah,
we ended up kind of to a fight. We were significantly not Yeah,
teamed up for I think that was the Demon Horse. That's right, I
think that was the fight that created the Demon Horse, because you guys got
an MPC to bail you out with some healing. Yeah, yeah, reasonble.
I even remember that NPC's name. He was Raven Dark Stabber. Okay,
great name, and Jesus Christ Joe. Yeah, I didn't even remember
the NPC. I had no fucking idea about the fucking name of the mp
Yeah. I just remember that because because, well, the reason I remember
it is because, like years previous, a friend of mine uh was talking
about hating obvious villain names, and the obvious villainim he gave as an example
was high, I'm Raven Dark Shadow, and I'm here to ruin your day.
Well, if you've received your issue free, there's a very good chance
I have not named that character correctly, so you can call me Mel,
all right. Sounds like Steve's going back to the presence. Well, if
you haven't received your issue three, there is literally zero chance that anyone is
going through all of the comic books and fixing that shit with a sharpie.
Zero chance. In fact, there's two zero and a one in front.
Unless you're getting Unless you're driving to South Carolina. Bud ah nah, because
those boxes have been delivered to the packaging and shipping departmental Falstaff Books aka my
sister's house. All right, well, we have taken a fair few questions
from the discord, but we don't want to give all the love there.
We know folks have been leaving their questions on the Facebook as well, So
Joe, one last time for chronicles of Calamity, take us through the Facebook
questions. Sir. All right, um, let's see here. That's a
good one. All right, Yeah, our our friend Mark, you MARKU
says, what are you going to miss the most about this incarnation of A
and D? I mean, do we still get to say fuck you Mark
anytime we want? On all the other incarnations? I presume. So yeah,
I just say, I mean, I kinda say it every time I
see him. I say it every time I aw Mark. I also inscribed
a book to his mother and referred to her as f you Mom. Yeah,
I was gonna say, I just I just signed a book for him
for him this week, and it's definitely made out to fu Mark. His
mom appreciated the fact that I called her f you mom. Pastor Mark was
not a fan. Well, in the fuck up, that's obviously a joke.
I'm not going to fucking church. I mean, I'm gonna miss not
I'm gonna miss setting Org on fire every couple of weeks. New York's gonna
miss not having to shave his armpits. Ever, that's a terrifying thing to
hear John say, knowing that John's going to be the dungeon master of the
next game. God, I'm really itching to burn a motherfucker. I get
to burn all the motherfuckers. Yep. I had a load of more dumb
special moves for Brandon that I didn't get to use because I got to craft
his own monk bath, which was a hugely enjoyable experience. I didn't get
to use angry screaming, where you can basically spend an entire round just screaming
like that. One never get used. I just I didn't get around to
it. It was it's basically like Hunters Mark but but dragon ball Z style.
Um, so yeah, there was There's a lot of stupid shit I
could have done at higher levels. Oh well, there may be time in
the future. I like doing stupid shit. I think that has been the
most fun thing about a podcast. Because I listened to D and D podcast
where it's all game, I get bored pretty quickly. And I've listened to
some D and D podcasts where it's all improvisation, and I always feel like
they're kind of cheating. We've maintained a really good balance of just surfing on
stupid shit for a past seven and a half years. I don't know how
normal that is, but I've been pretty impressed by you know what, I
think you're right. I uh like, I just the last two episodes,
I just started like really knowing how to play my character properly, you know,
and kicking out some big damage and stuff. But like, as fun
as that was, I felt like, man, I'm kind of glad it's
ending now because there's something lost in the character, Like I should be pulling
my dick out, I'm peeing on something. A being affect. You've always
had that with any of you just rolled like shit for like four years.
Well that's kind of the great thing about endings, though, is you can
give character. You can close out those arts that you otherwise would have to
let run perpetually. Uh you know, Clouds finally being a kick ass rogue
for a fight is a is a nice payoff. It was. Yeah,
and again that sweet spot between being an idiot and kind of no, see,
like, that's not what I'm saying that I'm not saying I mean and
it can work that way, but I'm saying more that if the game had
kept going on, I probably would have kept doing good things and so and
that would have been like reverse jumping the shark. So for the good of
the podcast, it ends. Now I know how to use my character properly.
Steve mentioned like how normal this game was. Honestly, when I tell
people about this podcast, one of the selling pitches I use is it's a
game that's like every game you've played. It feels real because it was real.
Like we had a little more narrative emphasis here and there, but for
the most part, this was a game like most games. It was a
little bit lower, a lot of bullshit, and mostly emphasis on everyone having
fun. Yeah, the performative aspect of it was something that we all we
all we were playing for an audience. It wasn't us sitting around in It
wasn't us sitting around for four hours at a clip contemplating what order were we
weren't sitting around talking about what we were going to fight. We just Leroy
Jenkins the fuck out of everything, which was funnier for us and the audience.
It's kind of like how Rick writes books. If a joke makes him
laugh three times, it stays in. That's the rule, right, Well,
yeah, we did the ship that amused us, and fortunately it amused
a lot of other people. Always at the end of the day, Like
you know, when people ask about books, I think it seemed the podcast
it's like, you know, the first person you should try to entertain is
yourself. If you're able to entertain yourself, chance, there's a good chance
you're going to entertain somebody else. I think. I think the idea of
entertaining yourself first also explains a lot about your sex life there, buddy.
I do think that really is what kind of helped make the podcast feel grounded.
Is y'all? Y'all played like any other players would you? You chase
the things that made you laugh, because at the end of the day,
Dungeons and Dragons is a fantasy game you play with your friends, and y'all
really embrace that, and I think that's what made things work as well as
they did. I agree. Okay, so our friend Nelson asks, what
is the one from number one biggest highlight of the past seven years. I
mean, for me, it's it's the whole Klaus dying and then getting like
stuck in Silas's body arc. That was funny that we talk a specifically on
an episode because I don't know. I guess it feels like cheating to bring
up a con experience, but those of all been very cool. Two words
lightning squids. That was That was definitely one of the hardest I've laughed in
an episode. Yeah, I can't wait to steal that ship. The harness
I've laughed was dick Water and I don't even remember why, but I remember
laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe. I don't even remember that. There's
been so many stupid things that have happened has made me laugh. There's something
something Drew said about in reaction to something I said where it was like,
yeah, yeah, I was the butt of the joke there because I said
something that Drew said something a response that made me sound really stupid, but
it was a don't It was perfect. It was a perfect dick Water I
had a I'm gonna go with two here. One was the first court case
with Judge Hungary, which was you know, offending a attempting to get us
out legally because he kept referring to Tagas as the god Thorax. And the
other one, the other one is absolutely everything about our interactions with Cloak boy.
I never about the fact that we met this guy and within five minutes
Brandon decided to be unbelievably mean to him. I don't even know. Again,
it's serendipity, because I have no idea why I decided to be a
total prey to clud fully just instantly. I think I saw something within him
that I recognized him myself and just had to instantly destroy him, which is
is kind of our character for Brandon, but called it. I think Brandon
just was jealous of the Cloak. It might have been jealous of the Cloak.
Yeah, that makes sense. And also we continue, we kept streak
alive because there was the Bartend, the minotaur Bartender. Oh god, you
were so mean to him. Yeah, that that was fun, like just
getting them every bad cow pun. I remember specifically trying to do diplomacy in
that situation, and every time I would say something sensible would immediately undercut by
another cow joke. Yeah, I think I remember trying to think of cow
jokes and I couldn't keep up with Rick just kept shooting him off wrappid fire
and well, shit, I'm not gonna catch up. He was really moved
and uh, Steve is wearing a shirt that represents one of my favorite moments.
I really enjoyed the gentry now, Mark, I don't know why.
Maybe it was the cathartic experience of getting a lot of my corporate hatred out
through a creative outlet, but man I I I enjoyed adding that one,
setting that one through that That was a fun arc for me. Keith a
totally normal slot, one of the only people y'all ended things on good terms
with. He was getting he was fighting a giant squid. Last time we
saw him, he might be dead. But there were so many moments I
guess where things just worked out perfectly. And again I will reiterate the amount
of we have rarely edited something that happened so it didn't happen, or something
that didn't happen, so it did happen. I say rarely, I'm talking.
I think I've just mentioned the only instance where we've done that stuff like
Arrows of Trek. We couldn't have scripted that more perfectly. Flex heard around
the world, done that twenty just when we needed it. That's incredible the
whole and like something's just like just involved that are just like miss like hearing
things wrong, like like a blad yes, or the death of Klaus,
which was truly just Rick not paying attention and not realizing that Bob was about
to die and so silence let him die. I still love I still I
will still like forever, like because none of us realized immediately and Rick didn't
know what was going on. I did, Yeah, I thought he was
an asshole. I literally had sat down after putting my kids to bed,
and I'm like trying to catch up and like it's like it's your turn.
It's like yeah, yeah, okay, whatever. I just I'm just doing
this because I'm still catching enough. Just crazable. Well, I remember before
our first one of our first big boss fights with the app at the end
of the Gentrinum thing, we actually sat ourn and it did have a conversation
of Okay, this is a big fight. People characters could die. What
are we going to do about that, and we were all just like,
okay, well, sometimes characters die, and we didn't fudge any of that
shit to keep characters alive. Brandon did contingency character ready. That was,
yeah, a close thing. I guess there to have been some genuine steaks
because we choose to play like that, But I don't think. I still
think some of my favorite stuff is when we're not actually doing anything. I
remember the whole holes holes holes thing. We were just riffing on that for
like fifteen minutes. Yeah, just various different, various different stores, stores,
stores, and it pulled down. Yeah, right next to the boat
shed. They've got bars, Oars, oars. There's a whole lot of
great bacon at Boars Bars Bars. I don't remember this one. John make
him fan the episode. Yeah. I mean there were times when we would
just sit there and de rail and entire fucking episodes just because no, we
found a particular itch we want to scratch. Am I gonna see her until
it's scratched. It happened several times and we're just gonna scratch it. We're
gonna scratch to the bone. Yeah. I think it's the first time we
got to Portland. We didn't leave the bar. I think we ended up
just talking about is a fucking quantum leap or something for an entire episode.
It's one of my favorite aps. I don't know if the characters went into
Portland, although we'll be going to Portland August. I like how you organically
worked that one in ste Well, yeah, totally, we can subliminally.
Yeah all right, Joe, Uh, why don't you grab us one more
to take us home? All right, let me see here. Um,
yeah, this is a good way to bring us out. Um our friend.
Uh, you'll have to forgive me if I mispronounced this. Jam Um
says, are you guys excited for the next adventure? Absolutely? Drew's excited
to not have to prep the maps. Damn. Um, I am.
I'm getting I'm getting more excited as we get closer. Um, I think
we're gonna have a fun party. It's a mix of Jane's and Joe's or
whatever we are, uh Cox Chronicles of Calamities Cox, Sure, Yeah,
I mean Cox isn't wrong. No, it's not inaccurate at all. It's
a mix of Dixon Janes. Yeah, kind of like your primary school readers.
Um, but yeah, it should be fun. I'm looking forward to
and it's going to be a mix of new characters and familiar characters because we've
got Judy Black who's going to be porting over Gigi from the Jains show because
she was a new ad to the Jains and now she's going to be joining
the Quest for Competence. It's not official name or something. I mean,
it's as official as fucking anything. Hell yeah, I mean we read this
game for how long before we had a name for it. I don't really,
I mean, I don't think we came up with a name until we
added another game to the we came up, we came I always assumed we
came up with it. That's what I thought too. Yeah, yeah,
that's true. But we were still cooling ourselves off the Dragons about three years
after that happened. Yeah, so yeah, I think Quest for Competence is
fine. I would say for next, for all future adventures. I think
I think every sort of creative has this where you do something and you've done
it, and you wonder if you can do anything like that again, and
whether it will still be funny and whether it still lend. So I would
have been trepidacious, if not for doing the Salty Bastards, where everybody once
again just generated a memorable, frustrating character instantly. Oh that was so fun.
Yeah, and Bob somehow managed to outdo Klaus, which bobbed us casually
for the stupidest reason ever, created the Mickey Mouse of Authors and Dragons,
which terrifies me. Yeah, it's insane how fast he became our mascot,
not not by our intent or will or consent. Yeah, I know that's
all you motherfuckers. That's all y'all. Everyone don't remember it is, the
genesis of this was, like, I don't know, about three years into
the podcast, somebody asked the question and said, what character would you play
next? And everybody kind of like gave that class and what they'd like to
do with it. I both just said Jose or the Sorcerer, but you're
going to elaborate on that. No, I've just got a dumb name,
and I doubled out on that. That's how the that's how the icon came
about as well, because when you know, whatever happened when we were supposed
to make our new characters with the hero forge or something, I'm not learning
all that shit. I drew a picture in three minutes, and that was
the Sorcerer. Would you like to share the name for your upcoming character,
Bob, just to go ahead and build some of the hype the name,
I mean it was the Banja Manswer okay all, I mean there are some
of their names I was toying with by cover bands. One other feature of
John's game that will be different is He's stepping forward into the newer technology area.
There era that area. Uh, y'all are going to have video for
the game? Correct? Yes, yes, we will be running video.
We will not be streaming because I only want to figure out so much tech
and maps is going to be enough of the vein in the ass. But
we will be doing video because some of the expressions on some of these faces.
Who yeah, with some of the stupid shit we get into, I
think I want to share the law a little bit that makes sense. Finally,
see bev and masturbate in real time. Well, guys, I've got
mixed news. We are banned from YouTube for Life Lives Lives and our Patreon
count has gone up by thirty thousand, So I uh mixed messages there the
internet? You know what they say, if you want to know where the
new hotspot is going to be on the Internet, go where the porn is.
That is where the people are. So we're saying that's only fans dot
com slash authors and Dragons's just John doing more magic on boxing videos. Yeah,
that's why the real sexual tension is yep. Now, honestly, if
we got Joe to do that shirtless, we could probably get a little bit
of going. I mean, out of all of us, chose the one
who's got the easiest route to go to the fucking wizard's offices. Just show
up shirtless with a sword. Don't throw booster boxes at you, dude.
I could just talk to the people who work there. I know a few.
That's not gonna get as many views. Yeah, that has a way
lower arrest potential. Yeah, awesome Again, Pinkerton's maybe you need to kick
a little glass while you're in there. That's not business. Yeah yeah,
why should you ask questions and take your show off? Like I do love
the idea of Joe just kicking the door in with a sword on going guess
how you are get motherfuckers. I would fly to the I would fly to
Seattle to shoot that video grottis you might want to posting your bail. Yeah,
there's there. I can either fly across the country or I can help
with bail. I can't too both. The only the only fans will more
than cover that bail. There you go, all right, everybody, The
Quest for Competence will be coming. Not next week because that's where we have
a side quest, but in two weeks. In this slot, the torch
is officially handed over, and I cannot wait to see the game that John
runs. But I will have to wait, but I shall. I would
tell you that's how time powerless. Powerless unless you're listening to this in the
future, in which case you can just click next episode. But for me,
I gotta take the long way around. So until next time. Bye,
Gomorrow. Friends. Also and Dragons brought to hundred Creative Commons license,
meaning you were free to share this material so long as credit is given to
those who created, which is us people you just heard to play the game
opening and closing themes performed by the Gore Core four