Made a decision face sunny sound I had well, well, well another episode
of for Crying Out Love. Yeah, yeah, well yeah yeah us again
that's right here we are in your ears. Well we're all warmed up because
we already did Patreon, Yes we did. Oh we don't need you guys,
like we're done. We're talked out. No, just kidding. We
have so much to get to, yeah, so much to get to.
We might have to make these like forty seven minute episodes instead of forty five.
Let's say we have two ahead. Let's say hello, um, Stephanie
stinker wrinker. What's up girl? She's still stinking it up? Yeah,
Christa, will you make me want Sandra sun easy being green? Nope,
but you make it look easy. Looks good on you, Kelly Brandt.
She'll take it to wherever you need to go. Yep, David Busters,
parenthood, whatever whatever you want. Yes, she is who we Alicia Leslie
still coughing. Huh wow, give her a cough drop. Somebody help her
out. There's the fun. Oh pison, Jennifer, get up, Rebecca.
I want to smack that ass. Missy and Gabby, what do you
think Shan's like? Could be his wife? At this point they were engaged.
Now they could be married. She is she gonna be like, what
are you doing? These two old ladies talking about your ass all the time?
We up sassin Um Yeah, Missy and Gabby. You guys need to
get your shit together, Hondy pe Katerina, check that motherfucking mole. Take
it from me. Valerie, you hit it out of the park. Probably
you love you, love love, love your pancakes and your scissor. Athena.
We love your dancing, Love your dance. Elizabeth, you've got a
ton of kids. It looks good on you. Ashley, you're so chic.
Leslie tried to accost somebody outside of Ikea. Oh shit, and inside
Ikea. Wow, she brought her van Leslie. Now I'm on girl.
Jacob, you're so growley, Rita and you want rock Elizabeth's kids in your
bastinet and Hero. We love you, love you guys, We love all
you guys. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, we're obsessed with
you guys. Definitely definitely appreciate everything you guys do. Don't we have a
new one? Yeah it was Leslie, Acosta, didn't you say a guy
that's business? Shout outs. Oh yeah, yeah, sorry, that's our
business. Shout out. All right, you want to hear it right now?
No, Kaylin cut that out and post I got me to flog it.
I think we're okay, all right, Okay, Um, so we
both had a big our kids had big both of well both our kids,
all three of mine had big weekends this weekend. Yeah, I know it's
prom. It was prom, promm prom, all right, but your daughter
is a senior and should be going to the prom. I too are not
seniors, but still had a prom. No, did Sonny have a date
junior and seniors? Uh no, Sonny went with the boys. Okay,
it went like six guys. Fair enough. Yeah, listen, when Elbie
was a junior, she'd never even kissed anyone. Yeah right now senior,
she's got it all going on. She's got you know, serious boyfriend.
I saw the pictures. She looked beautiful, she looked really pretty. Yeah
she did. So there was a lot of you know these girls, Oh
my gosh, where do we get her? We gotta get her hair blown
out, gotta do the makeup, like a lot of parents spending a lot
of money on their kids, which I understand. I'm sure you did too.
Then Italia is all on it. I don't even get involved. She
makes all the she may had a dry bar appointment and she asked her dad
to get a makeup person to come. Okay, yeah, a makeup lady
that made me walk her out to the car and carry all her bags.
What yes, the makeup lady dude, yeah she was Natalia. She burned
Natalia's shoulders and she was like, the sir, makeup. No, she
just I don't know why. Natalia already had her hair done, but the
lady had a I don't know, she was touching it up or something.
And Natalia's best friend Olivia was getting ready with and so afterwards I was I
told them that I don't even know her. And I walked into the bathroom
she was cleaning up because I needed to get dressed and get ready because I
was taking her. I'll tell you about her, but anyway, and I'm
like, oh, so you're all done okay, and she's like yeah,
can you help me? Like in an abrupt kind of rude way, she
was like, yeah, can you help me bring my bags down to the
car. I was like, okay, it's like, aren't you being paid
for that that's what I was thinking, are an assistance? Yes, I
mean it didn't really bother me, but the way she went about it,
right, you know, it was kind of I don't know. She had
a very bitchy attitude about Yeah, you think you'd wait, you know,
because you're a nice person, you'd be like, oh, do you need
any help with stuff? Like she could be like, oh my gosh,
are you sure? Yeah, no, no, no, no. She
was directing me what to do. It's fine, whatever, but anyway,
go on, no go it. Tell me. So what happened? So
I took her bags down. I just said so. Then that was that
was the getting ready. That was the getting ready. So they got ready
and they got them like a sprinter van. Parents all chipped in and they
were going to one of the boys who I've known sis second grade there his
house for pictures, and Italian invited me, which was really sweet. She
never really Usually she's like, oh, we'll do pictures, I'll send you
pictures, you know, but this time she was like, can you drive
us over to his house? And because all the parents were invited, well
here's the weird thing, okay, So I said yeah, absolutely, and
then she's like, can you make yourself look nice and nice? Like,
of course, put megavon, fix myself, and you know, I won't
wear my yoga pants and my T shirt I've been wearing for the last four
four days. So I fixed myself. But then I got a text from
her boyfriend's mom, who I really like, and she was like, um,
she was like, can you send me something. She asked me to
send her pictures and I said, oh, I'm going to h Mackie's house
for pictures. And then she was like, oh, I didn't get invited.
I was like, oh, we'll just go. You should just go,
yes, And it turned out it was just her son is like a
sonny, you know, he's not thinking about inviting his mom. And the
mom of the household was out of town and the dad was hosting it,
so how is she going to get you know? So anyway, so she
came and they all met there and uh, we took the pictures and they
looked really cute. Natalia was wearing a pink dress. She wanted to wear
a long dress, but apparently she said something like they're not allowing a long
long dresses. I don't I don't understand that. I don't get that.
I don't. I don't know. But not allow long dresses, Yeah,
I don't, I don't know. I didn't see one short dress at Albay's
prom. Yeah, I didn't know if it was a theme or something,
but there was. I didn't see any long I didn't see any long dresses.
But anyway, she was wearing a pink dress, was cute. And
then she asked her boyfriend to wear a navy blue suit, which he got
in a pink tie. And she's tall as it is, she's like five,
like a five eight and a half. And then she's got the heats
which is even taller. Her boyfriend was like a good few inches higher than
taller than her. So they looked cute together. I should post pictures I
forgot. Yeah, why don't you, I don't know. I will,
I'll put them up. And then they did the whole like will you you
know with the sign they showed up at the door, and his sign said,
um, it would fill my heart, but he wrote Phil p h
I l if if you came to if you were my date for prom,
and then he put two pictures of Phil Dunfie from Modern Family. Because Natalia
loves Phil loves that show and loves wants to marry a guy like Phil Dumfy
because he has such a great sense of humor. So he put that on
there and I'll post that too. It was really cute. So he did
that like right before prom. Yeah, I did it like a week before
a week before yeah. Ok. And then her best friend is dating his
best friend. So they're a foursome and those two look like brother and sister.
Um they're just like they look like Kenn and Barr to be blonde and
you know, blue eyes just really cute. And him I've known since second
grade. But um, yeah, they looked really cute. They were color
coordinated. It red and black was their color. And then there was mostly
boys and not a lot of girls, probably like four girls in their group
and the rest were all dudes. All the boys going together didn't have dates.
And they took off and they went to the w for dinner. Oh
wow, that's where was Elbie's. So Elby's was at a place called the
Odyssey. Yeah, yeah, Don, my girlfriend Don got married there.
Oh have you ever been there? I was there one time when Elby was
a freshman to drop her off at a birthday at a birthday luncheon there,
so I know where it is kind of and I've been inside one of the
rooms and then I lost beautiful up there. Yeah yeah, it's kind a
nice view and everything. Yeah. Um, so they did a before party,
a prom party at somebody's house. And it was funny because all of
my mom friends, my Laura, Cecily, all my girls, all your
Cecily's all my my, my Sharon, I got a Sharon, Samantha,
and Laura. These are my mom friends. Uh. They're all like,
okay, so what time are we getting to the thing, And I'm like,
yeah, I don't I haven't heard anything about this, right, because
they all made plans to go to this girl's house, uh, to do
the pictures. Right. Turns out it was so it's Alby's friends, and
then it was the mom's cousin has this really nice house with this beautiful backyard
with like a waterfall and these really pretty pools. People kept making comments on
my Instagram and whatever, like oh nice backyard. He's like, yeah,
not mine. So what had the beautiful backyard that's where you do the pictures?
Yeah? Yeah, I mean, guys, I'm just saying they were
complimenting. Yeah, they were complimenting. They were like, that's like a
love your backyard. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you
guys would have climbed over the fence and took pictures by the pox. Yeah
yeah, yeah. But it was great that they had somewhere really pretty to
do all these pictures. But so we get to the house and they had
invited all of these So so my kid and all of her friends they rented
a party bush that there were like thirty five maybe forty of them, Like
there were a lot of kids, maybe thirty five wow, thirty five kids,
and then all the parents and some of these parents. I don't know
if is this just an LA thing, but these parents like invite like extended
family, Like what what is not a wedding, right, But it's like
Grandma, Grandma's there and fourteen cousins and it's like just more and more people
started coming. It was like this huge party. But meanwhile I didn't find
out until I knew I was going. But Elbie didn't invite me until like
literally the day before, and she was like, oh my god, Mom,
I'm really sorry, but I just found out myself. It's like,
bitch, no, you didn't just find out. Shit, you already absolutely
knew, and you just took your sweet time in telling me. I don't
know if she didn't, I'm sure once she realized. I think in her
defense, she knew that some of the parents were coming, but she didn't
think like all of the like it's a parent thing, right, right,
right, But all of a sudden she found out like, okay, all
the parents are coming at this time, and I think Elbie was like,
oh oh, And then she said, I just didn't want you to like
hear it from the other parents first and think that I was not trying you.
And I'm like, well that ship was sailed because I have very much
heard from all the other parents. And she was like, I'm sorry,
and I was like, it's I would didn't take it personally. I knew
I was coming. She's like, oh, okay, good. Yeah.
Anyway, So we went and um, like I said, it was really
really pretty and there was like everybody about food. There was this big spread.
Nice. Elby's date was very late. Oh okay. So then Elbie
started having like getting anxious about it and like what's going on? And I
felt so bad. But then he got there and everything was fine. Then
we took all those pretty pictures. Then they left for the prom and their
party bus at the Odyssey, and then their plan was there was an after
party somewhere. But then, this is the thing about having a senior who's
like eighteen and a half years old. It's like that's the last I hear
of her, right, so that he's out, like I know, I
mean, she slept over to her boyfriend's house, which is fine with me,
right, you know, but it's just funny because but I do have
that life through sixty all right, Like I woke up in the middle of
the night and had that like a little like quick heart palpitation, like okay,
where is everybody right? And then I life through sixty and I see,
okay, she's been at his house since two twenty two in the morning.
I was like, you know what, that's not even that bad.
That's not bad, right, Yeah for a prom night. Yeah, nobody
got super drunk. Okay, apparently one girl got a little drunk, but
nothing crazy. Yeah, yeah, everybody too. Yeah. Can I ask
you though, when you went and did after everybody left, because this happened
to me. They all leave and then all the parents are kind of standing
around, and I'm like, was it kind of awkward? Like okay,
now what do we do? Because we all let we all saw them off
in the party bus and then we were basically on the street. Like it
was like it would have been really awkward if we were like, okay,
so should we just go back in the house. There's a lot of that's
the thing, yes, he the guy. I didn't know most of these
people. I didn't write people whose house it was, right, see,
I know a couple of the moms because one of them is in Italian's best
friend's mom, right, your boyfriend's mom. So, and then the dad
that was hosting had a huge spread and I just started eating. I was
hungry, and I was like I kind of want to go back and get
that spinach. But like, so they leave and we're kind of standing by
the front door and we're like I was like, is it rude if I
just leave now? Like or you know, like when we do now you
know. And then luckily one of the moms was like, all right,
I gotta get to my other kids. They got it something going on.
So I'm not okay, I'll walk you out, you know, right,
thank you? So much goodbye. Well left. Me and Elbie's boyfriend's mom.
We're both standing together like there was so much stuff out there, and
we were both like the kids were going down to the party bus, and
we both felt really awkward all of a sudden. So we were saying to
the host like, we're like, do you need help, Like we help
you, like put this stuff away, and obviously we weren't going to be
doing that because everybody was leaving, you know. And to her credit,
the host, she was like, oh my gosh, no, don't worry
about it. I got it, like you see the kids off, and
we were both like, okay, thanks, Yeah, I have to tell
us twice now when you talk to her boyfriend's mom, do you is there?
Like do you is it comfortable? Like you know what I mean?
Like I don't know, Yeah, totally. She's super sweet, Yeah,
really sweet, and we've been I've met her a few times now and we've
connected on text and yeah, you know, well see I guess because Elby's
older. They're old, they're over eighteen. The kids I got, you
know, her and I have these two miners that are boyfriend and girlfriend,
and it's like make good decisions, you know right right, I think I'm
gonna be taking I talked to Italia about it, I mean taking her to
the doctor soon. Okay, yeah, yeah that was a while ago,
I know for me, Oh you did? Oh yeah? Yeah? Good?
All right, I mean yeah, good, Well that sounds like fun.
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FCL. Wooo ooo um yeah so post I was really looking forward to like
chatting Elbie up and finding out all the details, and I gotta say this,
bitch was so, mum's the word about. I pick her up.
It's like the next afternoon. You know, she had like a chill morning
and then she had to work that afternoon, so she didn't have a car
with her because you know, party bus, the whole thing, right,
Um, So I pick her up and I'm like, how was it?
You know? Meanwhile, two of my mom friends both had kids sleep over
at their houses. So like my friend Laura, like her daughter had a
little her little group of friends. So this is all one big friend group,
right, but they also have friend groups within the big friend group.
Yeah, so some of these kids are close to that. So those two
different friend groups kind of made their own little slumber party, yes, two
of them. So I had already talked to both those moms. I've gotten
some gossip, you know, nothing like that interesting though, But then I'm
expecting, like, okay, I want to hear from LB. So I
pick her up and I'm hoping for some girl talk, you know, post
prom, and I'm like, how was it. She's like good, No,
No, that's no, that's there's no good. What happened? She's
like, it was really fun, you know, went to the prom.
That was really fun. They played Oh oh, I know that you're going
to relate to me on this, but so I was they're her high schools
um Instagram. They have a high school Instagram page. There were a bunch
of clip video clips and some of the songs they were playing. I went
to I looked at the video clips of all the kids dancing one of them
and they're playing all these like old school jams. Oh my god, like
Abba Dancing Queen. There was another Abba song that I can't remember what it
was. Um, there was like and then they was like old Justin Bieber,
like baby Baby Baby, oh yeah, and all the kids were screaming,
you know, baby baby. They're all like h oh, I love
that. I know. It was really cute. And then they played like
TikTok on the clock. No no, no, no no right. So
when I picked el me up, I'm like, oh, or they did
they like? I know, they played like good music. I heard they
were playing like some like oldies and stuff. She goes, no, they
weren't what. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I heard some of the
songs. I was like, they played Abba and she goes, oh,
well, yeah, I mean they played Abba Dancing Queen. And I'm like
yeah, and they played justin Bieber like baby, like that's from right twenty
ten. Yeah, and she was like, oh yeah, but the rest
of it wasn't. I was like, well it kind of was, because
I did hear other songs. I don't know. It's like, did she
dance? You know, said she danced? Yeah, she said she had
fun, although she said her feet hurt yeah, really early on. Yeah,
and she had to take her shoes off and just put on socks.
Yes see, the girls had their shoes on for pictures and right before they
got on the bus they changed into tennis shoes with their little dress. Oh
my gosh, we should have thought about Yeah, she was like, all
the when I was driving back home from to my house and throughout the neighborhood,
I'm driving by these houses of these kids are getting ready, they getting
they're getting in their limo or they're getting and they all have these their tennis,
their dresses and their tennis shoes. Yep. I think it's like you
know they do at their school. Yeah. Yeah, but I talked to
Sonny and I you know, so Natalia had a couple of her girlfriends spend
the night and they got home, like I don't know. I think it
was like eleven, because the thing was over at like ten or ten thirty
something like that. They probably got home at like eleven thirty. They all
took Uber's home instead of you know, so um. They were like having
a good time and they were making popcorn and going in Natalia's room and watching
you know, I don't know, movies or whatever. And then Sonny came
home and I was like, well, how was it, and he was
like it was fine, it was good. Yeah. Nothing didn't tell me
anything either, like, well was the music good? Yeah? You know,
same old, same old stuff. I was like, okay, and
then I asked an Italian She's like, it was really fun. We had
a good time, all right. Nobody wants to ever give me any details
I wants. I need to live vicariously through my children because I have zero
life of my own at this point. Yeah, I mean, you gotta
give me something like who did you me live? Yeah? Did you hold
somebody's hair in the bathroom while she puked or guts at like what? Anything?
Yeah? Come on, guys. Funny because by the time they're seniors,
like, I don't know, I don't Honestly, Sometimes I talk on
this podcast and I'm like, are these moms all going to be judging me?
But you know what shit changes between freshman year when I was all scandalized
because they'll be went to a party, I was alcohol there and I was
like, couldn't wait to tell you guys on Patreon to now it's like,
I'd be shocked if there was an alcohol some of these kids they bought alcohol
for this after party that they were going to. Albie told me. I
was like, well, how did you guys, How do you guys all
get the alcohol? She's like, well, a lot of people just have
fake IDs. Like where do they get the fake idea? Yeah, because
I don't know bullshit. Yes, she doesn't know where they get fake IDs.
She ain't give enough that in she's not giving up the info, but
she thinks I'm stupid like that. I'm not going to be like, I
know, you know, okay whatever. When I was to her age,
I stole someone's purse to get a fake ID. Yeah, and then the
girl had red hair and looked nothing like me, and I got busted with
it. Yeah. The point is we'd all know how fake IDs are,
absolutely, absolutely, But Elbie says that these days, well she's she's like,
I don't like I wanted to know where somebody's specific that she told me
how to fake ID got it And she claims she didn't know, but she
was like, mom, people have them made, like people take people's information
and go to the DMV and get like an ID. They go to the
DMV. Gesh, I thought it would be harder or maybe wow, I
don't know. She said, there's people that make really good fakes online and
stuff. I bet there is. Yeah, now that you think about it,
well, if we had that, we would have done that. Back
in the day. You had to find an idea at a rat concert that
was on the floor and I told you this story before and I pick it
up and she's got brown hair, brown eyes, my height, my weight,
doesn't look at anything like me. She was like, you know,
ten years older than me. And I was like done. Dina was her
name, and I can't remember her last name, memorized all of her info,
her address, went to the DMV the next day, said I lost
my license, said I was her took the picture. I don't even think
they did a thumb print back then. Maybe they did. I don't think.
I don't know, but it didn't matter because so they took the picture
and in two weeks in the mail and I changed the address, I said,
I moved, changed the address to my address, got her a license
with her information, but then used it for like six months, got pulled
over on New Year's Eve. Remember this story, it's such a good one,
I think God. The cop was like, you're speeding and your tags
are expired or something, and he's like driver license and I just I accidentally
just pulled out my fake ID and handed it to him and I was like,
oh, oh shit. And then he was like uh and I go,
um, wait, that's not the right and he goes, what is
this a fake ID? Like he called me out and he was I was
like, yes it is. I'm not gonna lie. I'm so sorry that
is a fake ID. And he was like, do you understand that I
could take you to jail right now. Your car will get towed and you
could spend New Years even jail for having a fake ID? And what are
you thinking giving it to me a HP officer? And I was like,
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And he was like he gave me
a ticket for speeding, took the ID, so I'll take this, put
it in his pocket, gave me a ticket, let me go. Wow.
Yeah, awful. So I had one. I've told you that,
I've told the story before, but who cares. It was a welfare ID
remember that. Really it was somebody's friend. Oh, because I worked at
Burger King. So somebody at Burger King had a friend who had And the
girl's name was Donna and she had dark hair like me. That is all
we had in common. This girl was like twenty five. I was like
sixteen, and I used and it was a welfare I d but I used
it and then at one point somebody was just like, this isn't you And
I was like, yes it is, Yes it is. I'm unwelfare and
that's my ID. And he didn't take it away from me. But then
maybe I just got scared and stopped using it because the person called me out
on it. So then I stole somebody's ID. God, I'm just sounding
better as as as you guys find out. Yeah, I snatched somebody.
Somebody had. It was like a purse in a bathroom and I took their
wallet and I opened it and I just grabbed. I took their ID and
it looked nothing like me. At this point, I was probably like eighteen.
I had moved to LA and I needed to be able to go to
the Red Onion. I know I didn't have an ID. Yes, the
Red Onion. Yeah, so I was real desperate, so I stole this
ID. And then at one point I tried to go into this bar and
the girl. Somehow the person knew the girl, you know what I mean.
However, I took the idea I must have been from that bar yea.
Somehow the bouncer was really mad. I was like, I know this
person, this is stolen and I was like what, oh my gosh.
And I was like I think I ran and he took it. I didn't
say bad luck with fake ideas. I know I had. I wanted to
go to the Red Onion. See. The problem was is Mike Glenn don
They are all like a year or two. Mike was three years, Dawn's
a year like oh older than me. So they were going. They had
there. They were twenty one, and I was still nineteen twenty not being
able to go. So I was like, fuck this shit. I was
telling Wendy. She gave me one of her IDs, and she's like,
just say you're me and I'm like, okay, but this says I'm twenty
nine and I was nineteen. I'm pushing thirty at this point. And I
used it maybe once or twice at Red Onion and then eventually somebody was like,
what's your sign? And I was like, oh, what the fuck
is her sign? And I got it wrong and he was like yeah.
I think he asked like what year were you born? And I didn't like
pay attention. I didn't realize she was ten years I don't know. He
tripped me up and he was like, yeah, I'll be this is not
you. I'll be tearing this up. And I was like, god,
damn it. Yeah, I got fucked it. Did not have good luck
with IDs either. Well, I didn't even go to my prom like I
would just drank every weekend at like you know, bars and what have you.
So I'm just happy that if Elby's friends have fake IDs. I don't
think Elby has a fake ID that would really surprise me. But again,
it would really surprise me. I asked, uh. I asked Natalia Sonny
once about it, and they were like they did say like you can go
online. I mean, I'm sure you can just go online and buy them.
I don't know how good they are, how they look, but I'm
sure you can. Just Again, imagine if we were able to do that
back then, I got a fake ID, you did. Yeah, I
got two of them. Actually it came with two. The person that made
it for me. I had no problems with a duplicate. Yeah, so
you there was a guy you confiscated. Yeah it was I think it was
a girl. Smart. Yeah, I went to our house and you know,
just took took the picture and then yeah, I got I get paid
for it and got a hundred bucks. Wow, what a racket bargain.
Yeah, yeah, a hundred bucks. Yeah wow. Somebody walking on the
face, somebody's playing muse, somebody's on the roof, like, oh,
you don't have your phones on? No you don't have a headphones. I
do. I just don't feel like wearing them anyway. Hey you got so
you had a fake ID the whole time, Kaitlin m that's right. I
probably got it when I was like eight and never got taken away, never
got taken away, never got questioned. One time I was at a bar
in um at CityWalk Universal City Walk and the bart. I gave the guy
my ID and he raised his arm and like pointed at a tattoo on his
arm that were like numbers, and I was like huh. And he was
giving me like a thumbs up. And I was like, he goes area
code like Arizona. It's Arizona. I was like, oh, okay,
cool, bro, was it your name under your name? It was my
name everything. Wow, that's awesome, but just a different address. Yeah,
it's somewhere in Arizona. Oh my god, that's hilarious. That's pretty
funny. So yeah, So in my day, a lot of drinking.
So I'm just like, you didn't go to prom. I didn't go to
my prom. So I because I had a boyfriend very briefly, but then
I started getting the ick from him. And then we were all supposed to
go to prom, and I was like, didn't cut his hair or something.
No, he just he just liked me too much. And I in
those days, I just couldn't handle somebody liking me. And then I thought
I just felt I don't know, and I remember that the whole thing seemed
like too much. You have to remember that my home life was not great.
Yeah, so I had no mom that was going to be like,
let's go prom shopping. Everything was like I'm going to have to ask her
for money to buy me a dress, to get shoes to the tip.
I don't. I was just like I just couldn't be bothered. Yeah,
the whole thing. I knew she wasn't going to be supported help me.
So I just said fuck it, And I said I didn't want to go.
Do you regret not going or no, I don't remember. My high
school days were kind of a shit show. Yeah, it wasn't. I
didn't have a great time. Like I look at Elbie and I'm like,
I'm so happy for her. She's got such a secure she's got a big
group of friends. She's does so many fun things with her group. And
you know, my school I moved. I started eleventh grade at a different
state across the country. I had to make new friends. I never fit
in that well anyway, So you know, I had like I had like
this one friend and then this other friend and this other friend, and none
of them were really friends with each other. So I kind of they became
friends, but mostly because of me, So they wouldn't do things on their
own, right. They weren't a friend group. Like I just met this
random girl who didn't have a specific group of friends, you know, and
then this other girl, and it just wasn't like we did stuff together,
but we went to parties. We went and found frat party and got drunk,
right, and like that's what we did. Yeah, And I didn't
miss anybody really. Once I moved, it was like, okay, bye,
I moved with One of the girls came with me. She was seventeen
and I was eighteen. Wow, she dropped out of high school and just
like moved to LA with me. Wow. I was just kind of like,
yeah, I didn't feel like I belonged there. So I to answer
your question no, because it wasn't like this buildup of like, oh I've
known these kids for a really long time and now we're going to do prom.
It was just like another school, another place. I wasn't happy at
home. I was like I just can't wait to get out of here.
Yeah. So I don't really regret it because there's nothing to really regret because
I don't write right. Well, if you didn't have like that base of
friends, you know, Like I went to the Alternative Magnet school. But
next door was Birmingham High School, right, which is where we met Glenn
and Don and Mike and then so we were friends with them plus our friends
at school. Glenn took me to prom. I have the prom picture,
I should find it. I was wearing like a white stretchy dress with lace
on the side, and he was wearing a white tuxedo with he looked like
a Guido, like with tails, and his hair was like blown out and
a long and like, you know, like the eighties hairspray. My hair
looked like I mean, like like Motley Crewe, you know. And I
just we went to like he was my date. I don't really remember the
rest of the night. Like I think we had a party at some motel
room or something that somebody rented out. At some point along the way,
Glenn drove and his Camaro four fifty five and we all just kind of like
hung out afterwards and got drunk and whatever, you know. I mean,
that's what people did in those days. They rented a hotel room. Right.
But Elbie's friends all there's one kid whose parents I guess are very cool,
and he has a lot of parties. He had a party the night
before prom. Then he had a party after prom. There was like I
guess a lot of alcohol there, but I don't know, it's just maybe
it's just like easy, even easier to get. But like I think back
to when I was in high school and all the drinking we did, and
like, I don't know where it came from. I think I remember people
would order a keg because I went to a lot of keg parties. Were
the things that we did. Yeah, everything was a keg party. Oh
there's a keg party here. And then somebody would roll up with the keg
or a pony keg, remember those. I was like a half keg.
Yeah, and somebody would lift it off of the back of somebody's truck and
then they'd set it up in the park. Yeah, and then you'd all
have the red soul and then you just come up to the keg and get
I mean I was like fifteens. I know. I know me too.
Like we had those kind of parties. We would go to the school parking
lots and hang out. But Natalia's friends they came, she came back,
she had like a couple of girlfriends spend the night. But there was the
boys, you know, because her boyfriend. So they all kind of came
back and um, and we're hanging out. The thing that I saw that
they were coming home, and they were. They were on their way home
on Life three sixty sunny already got home. So I was like, great,
I'm going to bed. Good night, It's I fall asleep. And
right after I fall asleep, I get woken up. Mom. Ab is
locked in the bathroom downstairs. One of the boys they came into Pea and
he got locked in the fricking bathroom because the handle was like from I don't
know, because the cleaning lady got locked in there the other day when we
had the cleaning people helping us clean. She got locked in. But Roberto
and Alvarax were here and they they got a key, and I was sound
asleep and I was all I'm like, oh, what locked And then I
was like, yes, that happens. Well, that happens with that door.
And she's like what do I do? And I go, I was
so irritated. Go go in the garage and get a Philip screwdriver and unlock
it. You can do it that way, and it worked. She did
it. She got him at the bathroom. Oh my gosh, that's hilarious.
Yeah. So that was our prom weekend. Yeah, let's take a
quick break. Okay, we're back. Okay, So I have a funny,
funny thing that happened. I mean it's not hilarious. It wasn't funny
at the time, but it's funny now. Yeah. Okay, So last
week morning, one morning, Elbie's we're looking for keys? Got one set
of keys and it's my set of keys on the hook. Now, John
had been out the night before. Oh you know what it was. It
was after our last recording that night. I came home and then in the
morning, so John had been driving the other car and Elbie hadn't driven,
and at all. Elbie had stayed home that day. Okay, so that
now it's Tuesday morning, Elbie goes to leave for school. She's like,
where are the keys? And I was like, I don't know. So
I'm like, John, where are the keys because it would be his keys
and he'd been driving the night before, and he's like I don't I mean,
I hung him on the hook. Now he's he had a cold.
So we've all been sick. As you recall, last week, I was
finally starting to feel better. John was feeling sick. So this was now
it's early in the morning, and I'm like, we can't find the keys,
and I'm immediately pissed at him, because where did you fucking put the
keys? You know, well, he just put his keys right back on
the hook where right blong. I know, I'm being an Adam, and
I'm like, if you would just put no, I didn't say that,
but I was like, well, they're obviously not on the hook, right,
like my keys are on the hook. So Elbie's now starting to freak
out and she's like, I have to go to school, okay, but
so do Sadie and Xander, right, But so I go, all right,
take my key keys and we'll find Dad's keys. You know they're somewhere.
So she takes the keys and goes to school and drives to school,
and now I'm like John, I'm like pissed. John's turning over the house,
like, look, now the kids have this state mandated testing that more,
yes, we had that too. Okay, the school we'd gotten to
notice two days before the night before you have to be at school by nine
am. Now school starts at eight thirty. But it was like, if
you're not at school by nine am, you can't do the testing. Like
the testing is gonna have a hard start at nine am. You can't do
testing, and then you're gonna have to be pulled out of classes to make
up to make up the testing, which is kind of a nightmare. And
then they get behind in their classes. So now Sadie and Xander are starting
to freak out and I'm like, and now I'm like, John, did
you leave the keys in the door last night? Because he has a tendency
to like leave them in the car, leave him, and so we had
already looked in the car. They're nowhere in the car. I can't we
can not find them. I'm so annoyed at John at this point, I'm
like, oh my god, like you have lost the keys before, but
this fucking takes the cake. So I'm like, what do you do in
that situation? I call an Uber because I'm like, the kids have to
get to school. Yeah. Now I'm new to Uber. Remember I told
you that I just recently downloaded the app even because I needed because we were
down a car and I needed to take Sadie to the pediatrician, So I
downloaded Uber and had my first I've ubered with other people. Okay, well
I've ubered with other people, but I don't have the app on my phone.
I've just never needed it right, right, But because John had to
John when John's sister was in town, he was going to take her to
the getty. Sadie wasn't feeling well. So I was like, I had
to take Sadie to the pediatrician. I was like, screw it, you
guys don't stay home all day on my account. Albe had already gone to
school. I was like, I'll just uber. The doctor's office was like
a mile away, right. What I didn't realize was that if you try
to schedule an uber. Because I was like, okay, she's just to
be at the doctor at eleven fifteen, I'll schedule an uber for eleven am.
I was like, yeah, do you want an uber? It's going
to be forty three dollars to go a mile. I was like, no,
wait, what, I think I'm doing something wrong. So but if
you want the uber right now that's coming in five minutes, it's five dollars.
Wow, So if you schedule it, it's more that much more that
much more forty three dollars as opposed to like five dollars. Wow. Yeah,
I've also found lyft to be a lot. Oh yeah, it's yeah.
And can you schedule with Lyft? I think you can probably yeah.
I think the problem is that then you're buying somebody's time if you have to
schedule it. Maybe it's just but in my area, I've learned there's always
an uber's or like four minutes away. Yeah, you know. Okay.
So anyway, that so that was only like a couple of weeks ago.
So now I have the Uber app, and now I'm all Uber proud,
right, I'm like, well, I'll schedule an uber. I look it
up and it's like it says it's five minutes away, but it wasn't five
minutes away. It was like ten minutes away, because you know, and
then it keeps saying, Okay, they're gonna be there in seven minutes.
Anyway, Juanita rolls up in the in her gray Honda, and the kids
were just like like, I was like, I'm gonna get you. You're
gonna get to school by nine am if it kills me. So I had
by eight forty i'd ordered the uber. So anyway, they got to school
on time. But like Juanita rolls up. I'm like, hi, I
called the uber you're taking them? And she's like, oh, not all
three of you. And I was like, nope, just those two and
she was like okay. And then the kids put on their instagrams like okay,
I'm in an uber right now, like go in a school. I
was like, pretend you're I texted them. I was like, pretend you're
like a New York rich kid having a driver take you to school. You
go. All you need to worry about is you're getting to school by nine
am. Right, your ship with you. I made your lunch. Yeah,
have a nice day. Okay. So then they're off and now I'm
like where are these keys? And of course in my mind, I'm like,
well, I'm gonna have to order order a new set of keys.
And I'm like, I don't even know how you do that, Like I
call the dealership. I don't even know where our dealership is because we use
a car broker. I get our car, right, I don't even remember,
you know. Okay, So Elby texts me, uh, the keys.
The second set of keys was under the front seat of the car.
Oh. She found him she found him, but I'm like, so of
course, I'm like, oh my god, John left him in the car.
But twist twist in the plot twist, John hadn't been in that car.
What happened is hap Elby had taken the keys, had been having a
stressful morning, took the keys off the hook, put him in her backpack,
went to go leave for school, and was like where are the keys?
Had had some kind of amnesia and forgot she had already taken the keys
because she's like, oh, they rolled out of They rolled out of my
backpack into the car. Because I was like, well, that's impossible because
Dad wasn't in that car last night. I was I had driven that car
r Prius to hear right, driven at home. Nobody else took that car
out the night, and John wouldn't not have been in the car and would
not have left the keys in there. So there was only one culprit,
and that culprit was Elby. When she got home, I was like,
so, Elby, like, you actually took the keys. She's like,
no, I didn't. That's impossible because I didn't take them. And I
was like, well, you did put him in your backpack because that's the
only you know what I mean. It was like one of those things where
it's like, no, that's literally the only way that could have happened.
She goes, well, somebody put him in my backpack. I go,
nobody put against you. Nobody went framer. Gremlins came out. We fed
them after midnight. They were up to no good. They're trying to fuck
with her. Oh my god. Wow. I had to wait for her
to get home, brought bulk, sets the keys back, and then we
had to leave and go get the kids. Did the kids want to take
an uber back home? Probably? Yeah, that's hilarious. Yeah. I
have a backpack story that's been going on at my household. So I don't
know if I told you this, but Phil got into Natalia's friend's backpack.
Yeah, I talked about that, right. So now Phil is on a
backpack mission. Now he thinks that any backpack he sees has got some shit
in it that he wants. So he destroyed Sonny's backpack again like again,
but that we recovered from that. Then the other day, Sonny can't find
his backpack. He left it by the back door where he always leaves it.
Could not find it. And was like, what the hell, But
then he looks down the hall and he sees his laptop just land on the
floor. Oh no, Phil took the backpack from the back door into another
room down the hall. Yes, yes, backpack. Yes, he didn't
take it to his other burial ground, which is upstairs. He's got a
spot that I call that's his killed place. That's where he brings that's his
burial growler. He brings all the shit from like the kitchen. He just
eats it and then you know you'll find the rappers there. He took it
down into another room, turned the corner into the other room, like hiding
from everybody, ripped the side of it, ripped the whole, like opened
it as he was dragging it. Dropped the laptop, didn't give a fuck
about that kept going and there was no food in it, and we were
like what. And then sudden he was like, oh, I had a
peanut butter and jelly sandwich from two days ago that I didn't eat. But
he took it out two nights ago and he was like, do you think
it's still good? And I go, no, dude, throw it away.
Why didn't you eat it? And he's like I got other food at
school, and I was like, all right, well rode away. But
so Phil smelled the back back. I smelled the peanut butter, and that's
his jam. He loves that ship. Oh yeah, yes, yes.
And so he just destroyed Sonny's second back back, tore it apart. Luckily
the laptop is okay. Luckily didn't eat that, you know, at his
rate. And and I saved a dog the other day, you did,
yeah, a little karma. I mean I didn't say well. I was
driving back home and I see this like blonde lab looks like like Molly,
just wandering around and I was like, oh wait, you must be what
are you doing. He was like in the street and I pull him over.
I pull over, I get out of the car, I pull him
aside. His name is like Hugo or something, and I was a tag
on. He had a tag on. But then the people that he belonged
to, I could not find their address. It's not on the curb,
it's not on their house. But he was like very friendly to me,
and then I'm like, where do you where's your house? And he kind
of just walked up to the house. And then the guy that answered the
door, was like he was a kid. He wasn't a kid. He
was like Kaylin's age. He wasn't the man of the house. So he
was a kid, like stoned out of his mind. How did I get
hurt? I'm the man of my house. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah,
well yeah yeah. But I could tell that he wasn't the dad.
This kid was stoned. And I was like knocking and ringing the doorbell,
and I don't think he wanted to come to the door. I wouldn't leave.
Yeah, I don't know, like you know, when you're like hi,
you don't want to talk to people. So he's I stood there for
like ten minutes with this dog and I kept ringing and knocking and ring and
I'm like, I guess nobody's home and um. And then eventually he comes
to the door and he's like I could tell he was stoned. And I'm
like, is this your dog? And he's like, oh my god,
how did it get out? And I go because your gates wide open.
If this is the house, your side gates open. He's like, oh,
we had workers here. I was like, okay, stone or take
your dog. But I felt good. I was like, I have a
black lab that gets out. So if you ever see a fat lab black
down the street, that's my dog. So I'll return the ferry. He's
like, yeah, I got it. Oh gosh, that's so funny.
Yeah. I was once walking. I mean I say once as if this
happened ten years ago, you know whatever. A month ago. I was
walking down our street and there was a dog out, like on the sidewalk,
and it was kind of the evening. The dogs shouldn't be there,
right, and the dog wasn't that friendly though, so it was didn't want
me to kind of come close, but it was just out in the street.
It shouldn't have been there, so I was trying to like, so
I went up to the house and similar situation. The guy wasn't wouldn't come
to the door. It's not kind of like peeking in the window. Yeah,
me too. Yeah, and then he sees me and I was like
helloa, like waving at him to go to the door. So he oh,
So he comes to the window and I was like, is this your
dog there that's outside? He goes, oh, how'd you get out?
Yeah? And then yeah, then he came to the front door and he
was all grouchy with mee bitch, Well doesn't far far from the tree the
dogs mean the owners mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know,
in our neighborhood, we have bears that are like out and about what.
Yeah, that's I should post some of these pictures. There's a mama bear
with all these little baby bears walking in somebody's backyard. Because I'm on our
you know, our neighborhood Facebook, not next door too, but this I
found on our facebook, neighborhood Facebook, and they're like, you know,
oh, and everybody's talking about how cute they are out whatever, and it's
like, well, I have a son your neck out yeah, Like Sonny
walks around this neighborhood all the time, sometimes in the pitch dark, and
I'm like and I keep telling him watch out for bears, watch out,
and he's like yeah, yeah, yeah. Well I took a screenshot and
I showed there's a and then there was a huge one just walking right in
the middle of the street in broad daylight, like on our on our street.
Wow, I know, I show you, I show you the pictures.
It's crazy. I had a client recently who was east of you,
you know, a little further passa and um, he had a pawn in
his front yard and he was like, yeah, we need to create some
more Hindi spots because the bears will come and get the fish. And I
was like, well, they're not gonna come and get me while I'm here,
right, pawd right, And he's like no, no, you should
be fine. I was like yeah, ever, like the neighbors are so
like nonchalant, like oh look, how cute, and they're like naming the
bear and everything and did he have a tag on his ear and stuff like
that, And I was like, isn't anybody afraid? Like why? Why
isn't anybody going like what hide your dogs and kids? Like how come?
One woman said she used to work at the Wildlife waystation and she knows those
types of bears, and they they're usually harmless, you know, you know,
don't if they don't, boy, don't they're just looking for food,
which there's pictures of them going through trash cans and stuff, which all right,
But like what if one comes across Sunny when he's walking home listening to
his porn. Yes he is a snack. He's like that's scary. Yeah,
yeah, it's I don't know, I am We got coyotes. Oh
yeah, we have coyotes too. Do you ever hear him at night?
But they they howl and it sounds like they're ripping a dog apart or something.
I know, it's so far. Yeah, I know, it's crazy.
I haven't I'm gonna knock on wood. I haven't seen one in a
while in our neighborhood. But I was used to see him all the time,
and I was so scared. I know, it is. It's scary.
There's time mace and a whistle and like yeah, yeah, case.
There's been times where Sunny comes home and he's like there's like a pack of
him kind of following him from far away, you know, kind of like
you know, and then somebody will drive by and like scare him off and
you know, tell him like there's coyotes behind whatever. But it's scary.
I know. I'm like warning him about bears and you know, watch out
for the bear with the white van that can kidnap you. Telling them about
everything. All right, Hey, guys, we have a couple of business
shoutouts before we before we totally say goodbye, and one of them is my
friend Adam Lerner. Now, how I got my car was do a car
broker. Do you use a car broker? Yeah? We did. Yeah,
Okay, it's such a better way to get a car. It is.
They don't charge you anything, so it's no fee to you, and
they can get you They can beat any price that you get at a dealership.
That's how we first got turned onto car car brokers. Yea, because
we had a friend who used one. It was like we were shopping around
for a car and calling and going, what's your best price? And then
our friend goes use a broker, right right, I'll get you yeah,
yeah, yeah. So this is my friend who got us our last car.
You got us a great deal on our VW. His name is Adam
Learner, and I'm just gonna give you his phone number. It's three ten
nine nine eight seven zero four eight, and I will also put it on
our Facebook page. So I'm going to do do a shout out for him
every week so he can do all of la any surrounding areas. Hit him
up. That's a great car broker. I gave him a shout out in
here once before, but now he's officially that's doing it. Yeah. Also,
Marin is um sugar Skull. That's her business she and her husband.
It's a small bakery and a gift shop on Kauai in Hawaii, Hawaii.
So if you're vacationing there, check them out. Um you can like and
follow their Instagram page at sugar Skull eight oh eight and she'll give you fifteen
percent off if you um use the code fco Well. Also Basic Becky.
Oh, I just a bitch asked her for a mug. Yeah, you
know what I want to get. I want to get a succession mug for
John and call it. Do you remember when um, what's his name?
Uh? Greg? Yes, started calling himself the quad Squad? Yes,
yes, I want to do Quad Squad. And I want to do a
picture of the of the kids and then to have one of them b John.
Great idea, I know, let's make this happen. That's awesome.
Do a picture of Shivan, picture of Kendall and a picture of John Taylor.
That's so funny. Yeah, I mean he'll think that's so funny.
Yeah I would. Okay, So just go to just basic Becky dot com
to get some stuff made for yourself or find her on Facebook. Basic Becky.
Also Kelly Wilman Frieda. If you're in Palm Springs, you're if you're
in Palm Desert, might do a book signing there, like a good idea
when my book comes out. Yeah, um, yeah, they've been voted
best breakfast for like six years in a row on Diners, drive Ins and
Divas. Now they've been Yeah, they've been voted best breakfast and they're featured
in anyway. You guys, you guys know the trill. All right,
we'll have some more for you on Friday. All right, Well, thank
you everybody. Thank you. Kaylin. You're a parent now, don't f
it up and letting go