Welcome to soft core History. What is up? Welcome back to softcore History.
I am your host for the week, Rob Fox. I am joined
as always by Dan Jester, and we have a special guest today because Jake
left us. He went to Florida. He did Jake is you know doing
his Florida shit. Uh, she's back on the show. Gabby montemayor,
local stand up comedian. I spelled it right for you if I feminized it
for you, appreciate it. Yeah, fourth co host. She's probably had
more shows than Jake at this point. It's getting close, it's getting pretty
even. Yeah, we should probably stop paying Jake. I don't know how
he's a third of our cut. No, he's not work hell no.
Now he's actually trying to He's trying to get out of doing the text.
One thing he does, he's like, I'll file an extension and that's all
I'm gonna do. Yeah, he's like, it's too complicated for me anyway.
God damn it. It's crazy. We don't even make anything. Nobody
listens to the show. How many reviews are you at now? We have
not broken a thousand? So Dan is still not allowed. He's just doing
mushrooms, cut, the bottle of water, California sober nice, the hair
a grease. I also had a crazy beard that I just shaved, so
it's already back. I was looking homeless, but I look a little bit
more clean cut. I don't agree. Now you look more Silicon Valley.
There's just it's a fine line between homeless and Silicon Valley, right, Like
I could either be on Sunset Valley asking for change or for funding. Yeah,
same thing. You're still begging for money. I think there's more honor
in being homeless. Why you begging for change on a street corner than actually
trying to get you know, a little cash infusion for your startup. There's
no honor in that. I like when they offer a service. So like
I parked my car downtown under the bridge and I had like bird shit on
my car. And he was like, if you give me a couple of
bucks, I'll take all this bird shit off your car by the time you
get back, as long as they offer it. But like I got the
bird poop off all of it, and I came back and I was like,
oh my god. I was like, this is like a it looks
like I got my car detail and then you gave him four dollars. I
gave it. Well, she doesn't carry cash dollars. I did care,
I did, I did, But thankfully he had a square Yes he has
been cash up only actually square it up. The dumbest thing that I hear
people say, you're homework have a smartphone because it's twenty twenty four. You
can buy a smartphone at seven eleven because it's like a Samsung four. Like
it's like, it's like not a phone. Anyone's barely a smart Go use
it. Connect, connect to Wi Fi like a game boy. You could
have like Cricket wireless for twenty dollars a month. Not that. Yeah,
they're only using Wi Fi. They're all like camped out behind a dumpster at
a restaurant trying to get I find juice. Actually, at our old studio,
we had a homeless guy break in and uh Me and Joel caught him,
but he was literally just charging his phone thousands of dollars of equipment that
you to like know the homeless. People like to learn names of the people
you see often because like they take care of the other homeless one, like
yeah, and then they'll protect you. They're like No, she's good.
Like leave her, you know, she's cool. It's Cleveland. Don't actually
assault her. That to cleveland On. They are your homeless second juillas.
Yeah, the guide you through shit. Actually, the best complement I ever
got from any person on earth was I was from a homeless woman by the
old studio. What did she tell you? She said, I look like
a Navy seal, She goes. I think that was ironic. Was it
the lady that doesn't wear underwear? Was it the totally she did walk over
to the p terries drive through and urinate in the middle of it thirty seconds
later, So she's got We trust her judgment, is what you're saying.
I did. I mean, of the three people that host this show,
he is the closest to the Navy seal. Go on. Just your physical
fitness, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, uh, your sharpness,
your dedication, mentality, ability to swim. Excellent swimmer? Are you?
I'm a pretty pretty fantastic You don't look like you should be outside,
so that makes yeah, that's wow. Look I learned indoors. The lights
weren't on in the pool obviously, shirts on, yeah, shirts, of
course, you always always swim with the shirt on. It's just a smart
thing to do. I feel bad. When were you a chubby child?
I was. I was not. Actually, I always laughed at the kids
who had who swear, do you have little baby boobies? For like two
years, I was a peak athlete in sixth grade because I grew before everybody
else. And then I got fat, and then everybody caught up to me.
Flew too close to the sun. I did, but then I got
back in ship like theyn't never catch me. I thought I could just get
by on raw talent. That's got to be like I just gotta be just
like feeling like you're on god mode when you hit pe for everyone else,
dude, when I was a running back, like you're just a man,
like you're you have a man. In fifth grade, I was a grown
ass man. Oh god, I was the last one. I was like,
everyone's got pubes except for me. I was like I would like be
embarrassed to change because I didn't have anything to hide that was the same size.
It was like six foot, like two hundred pounds in fifth grade.
You're not six foot, yeah, I'm very much six foot. Okay,
he's like on the dot, Okay, have you seen those videos where that
guy walks around with the tape measure at the gym and he's like, hey
man, how tall are you? And they're like some guy like six to
two. It's like, hey, cool, I've got a tape measure.
Can we check? And no, like everyone lies, the people don't let
him check. It'll be like five ten. It's like, dude, why
are you lying? He's like I swear him six too. It's like,
no, you're not. I wouldn't lie about that. Being five elevens Actually
thing to lie about. Five eleven is actually a cool height that is six
two is the hottest height though. I'll say that just like six not too
tall nothing. You can travel, like you can get on a plane your
head. Yeah, but it's like it's like mid size sedan sports cars.
I'm not a sports car guy. We're not car guys. No, but
like you're just tall enough to be a normal human. Like I don't like
like six fours four is like six four is like why didn't you make it
in the league. Yeah, it's like why are you bad at sports?
I didn't know you were bad at stuff. It's kind of small for the
NBA, though you can play in Europe, though, I mean, I'm
not talking NBA. Steph Curry sixty four, right, Yeah, and people
think he's tiny, yeah they I know, he's the size of like my
tallest front. Yeah. But you're six four, white guy. You played
a little basketball. You're expected to go play in like Greece or Croatia,
right, maybe like a mid major college type of situation. Should have got
a dye Wichita two. Steph Curry six to No, he's all right.
I was under the impression he was four wow, six to six nine.
He's a better golf shorter. That's too tall. Couldn't do six nine?
What do you do with that? How do you even have? How tall
are you? I'm five to three for now, for now, until the
ostio gets made. Gravity, gravity's gonna get you, and you're only six
foot like the clock is ticking, gravity will pull you. By the time
you're five to eleven, I'll be five to two for sure. Now.
My dad's already shrank. He was six' four and then I broke my
growth plate. I was supposed to be six four too, ouch. I
know it, honestly is better. You don't want to be six four.
I think that's you don't like any unless a woman is five foot eleven,
nobody's like, oh yeah yeah, But if I was six y four,
I wouldn't be podcasting, You'd be playing basketball in Israel. You'd be marginally
successful at something else. Just off sheer height. I think that's a real
thing, not only looks, but being able to lord over people be funny.
You wouldn't have a good personality. And then when the ostio gets ya,
what do you have? Do I still have that? Though? What?
I think some would argue that I don't have that a good personality or
humor? Yes, good is I meant good at air quotes like it's good
right? Right? No, Like it's okay, get right right. It's
sort of like where we are essentially like to humor, we are like the
guy who dominates the y mc A League basketball, the guy who sprains his
a cl Yeah, like we're just like we're like, we're like the best
amateurs. It's kind of like being the Make a Wish kid that gets the
handoff for a touchdown at the spring game. Mm hmm yeah, yeah,
pretty much that's more accurate. But uh. If you like this content,
go ahead and subscribe to our Patreon Patreon dot com, slash softmore history,
Yeah, two additional episodes every week, and a whole back catalog of Evergreen
content. Also, please leave a review on iTunes. It gets uh Dan,
if we get to a thousand, Dan can drink again and get what's
in my fucking hand? It's water, it's not foka, but he will
get extremely drunk once we get to a thousand on episode so well who and
it doesn't it's whoever's episode it is, So if it lands on his episode,
I gotta do it. But like you need to have like a timer,
like every ten minutes you take a shot, like you need to give
it. You need to not be able to know. We'll have a counter.
I think, I think should we power power Hour? We could?
What is that? Remind me the rules of Power Hour? It's you take
a drink every minute. It's a shot, a shot of beer every minute.
But it could be a shot of celtser, it could be a shot
of vodka. Who cares, right, right, right? But usually it's
mostly beer. And I remember the first Siday a Power Hour, I was
like, but it's beer? And then how much is that? A lot
more than you think? It's like five beers not enough. I think it's
I think there should be a liquor component. Yeah, that's fine, we'll
toss it in. And I think there was also Dan to be so drunk
he shouldn't drive home like he needs to know. I'm gonna probably sleep in
the trailer out back, that's the plan. Yeah, the Rats, I'll
have somebody who watched my dog or bring Chase here. It works, King
and Queen of the Rats, King and Prince of is that anti Semitic?
I did recently find out I was like one percent Portuguese jew So really showing
your hand already, Yeah, on your fucking single strand of DNA. I
identify as culturally Jewish. I like I would convert to Judaism for like any
reason. Just married a Jewish guy, I would, But I have a
boyfriend. Yeah, I know it's not Jewish. I know he can converse
to. He's British Catholic's church like Church of England, which is just Catholic
with oh yeah, well anyway, le's get it today's topic. Uh,
Gabby, I feel like you're actually perfect to have on for this topic.
Like once I knew we were going to ask you, because as a woman,
you are routinely poked and prodded by doctors. Oh my god, is
it like the history of gynecology. It's the history of butt medicine. Okay,
yeah, shouldn't you get getting your ass shocked? Especially at your age?
So apparently, Yeah, it's forty, I'm thirty eight, especially because
I have given your lifestyle choices and your eight do my life style choices affect
the Probably a lot of chicken nuggets, yeah, a lot of white and
beige foods. I eat spicy foods. I've had a doctor to shove his
finger up my ass, obviously for my medical reasons. Yeah, But apparently
now they can just do blood tests. They don't need to toss a finger
in. They still do if you get like an old school doctum. Hey,
if it costs the same, don't you think you're missing out if you
don't get that finger just one for certainly you're so lucky that it's a finger
and not a speculum like it's them. It's like it's like the jaws of
life, but it goes inside your vagina and they crank you open and then
they like hold it and then they can kind of come in and out and
then they're putting other things and they're scraping, and you you feel scraping,
like like in behind your belly button, and it like but it feels like
they're scraping like plaqu off your teeth. But it's like plack off of your
service, your service. It kind of sounds pleasant because it kind of cleans
you up. Clean is not the word. It is like a power wash.
Yeah, it's like taking and like your fingernail and scraping the roof of
nobody like getting their teeth cleaned, right, I mean that's not a pleasant
experience either. No, sometimes you gotta get that, but it's super satisfying.
I imagine it's kind of like you get an old rug. You yeah,
but you're walking around old ye after that, yeah, your little skipping
your step, Yeah, after getting your drum re uh by strings titans,
Yeah exactly, my tennis racket restruck, restruck. Yeah. But those videos,
you know, those videos of just either power washing or power cleaning,
Reddit, power washing porn, Yeah, good ones, it's gotta be a
similar feeling, uh almost exactly, you think so, yeah, Okay,
the speculum comes out looking like an old rug. I'm not an expert,
but I'm like a speker house. You know when they do the smokers and
it's like pure black. Oh yeah, yeah that's what they think. That's
what they throw in the trash after a pap smere terrible. What you wan
to do, like beating against a fence. They used to do it with
like that honeycomb looking like mallet. Yeah, you know. But the speculum
is an advancement in gynecology. It feels like it's about fifty years out of
date. It's really it's it's most of the things with like women's health,
and like with gynecology, when you learn about it, it was like mostly
was developed by a doctor with a kink. Like the reason women in the
West give birth on their back is because it was like someone's kink. Like
there's no real real like it's harder to give birth on your back, supposedly
that but like you can't do anything else if you have an epidural. But
like it was hot now that I think about it, Yeah, wasn't it
a better time to the poop or was it the blood or was it the
only poop the second time? So the first time was pretty whatever, But
finn I was like geared up. And if you see the woman you love
produce everything all at once, that's how you know she's the one become one
with one year. Yeah, yeah, that's like the ultimate squirt. When
a baby comes out, it's crazy. The doctor's just yeah, but poop
baby. So Rory didn't make your wife square? Fin did? Fin did?
Yeah? That's BD right there, that's that second child energy. Yeah,
you knew what he was doing that kid. Well, that's because Rory's
selfish. Yes, I love your beef with poor Rory. Finn's my guy.
Not even you wouldn't even hold Finn. I'm gonna adopt Finn. I
think I tried to get you to hold Finn at his birthday party. Babies,
I held Rory for a second at my Finn's birthday party. Finn,
he just seems too fragile right now. I didn't want to ask I lift
weights like every day up now I can. I just don't know. I
don't know my own strengths. I don't want to crush him, oh right,
right, right right, I do like a like he's like a ripe
peach. Like you're like guy with down syndrum, and it's like like a
delicate, like a delicate yeah, len in the mouth you love? Sorry,
give another rabbit. We've actually done an ass medicine episode before. I
don't know if you know this, but I don't know how closely you listen
to our show, uh when you're not on it. But a popular form
of CPR in the seventeen hundreds ish around then was literally blowing tobacco smoke up
people's assholes, Like you pull a drowned person out of the river and bread
the take tobacco for them and then you light up your The thing there was
like kits on the sides of rivers and you just puk it up and then
it's worked. Is it? Is it like smelling salts in a way,
or like like poppers. To kind of give an example, that's what they
did to Joe Biden for the State of the Union. Heyo, Yeah,
they just had them all jacked up with but tobacco. Have you seen all
the how that everyone's saying like the same three adjectives to describe his performance.
They're like, he's so sharp and he's so like there's like three words that
every like that all everyone on every committee. They're like, he's sharp,
he's remembering that I don't remember. And he he's just really you know,
he just is so smart something. They have like the same three words.
He's like the least eloquent people I've ever seen in my life, except for
also Donald Trump. Yeah, now even more I think about it, though,
we describe our presidents throughout history with the same adjective. So I mean
I I have never respected any Republican politician except for Mitt Romney when he was
like when he stepped down and he was like, listen, I'm getting too
old. I'm sixty and I wish everybody else would step down. I was
like, thank you. That's why he's actually like, by the way,
he's actually almost eighty. That's just what happened. Rodney, don't drink alcohol.
Never respected a Republican. I guess you didn't care for Aid B.
Lincoln. Okay. Wow. Also, that's why no respect. That's why
we ride for our goat President James K. Polk, who accomplished everything he
promised to do in his first term and then just got the fuck out.
It was like I'm done, I got it. I love it. He
was the guy who took in the test early and get out of here.
He was the guy who took most of Mexico from Mexico. Okay, we
got it. Do I ride for him? Don't know? I mean probably.
I guess I don't want to be in Mexico, so tear it out.
Did you hear about what recently happened with the cartel? Did cease fire
because the creator of dragon ball Z died? No? They were like both.
They both agreed they were like today as a whole in honor of his
I guess just you know the Mexicans and loved the animes they did. Yeah,
the cartel loves dragon ball Z like I mean, like I knew.
I. I grew up with a bunch of stoners who like like in high
school stuff who love dragon ball Z. But the most people I knew who
like dragon ball Z were black, dude black people. Yeah, I actually
love dragon like NBA players love anime and shit like that you always see and
so cartel members doesn't necessary surprise me either. I guess. No. I
wish I liked it. I feel like I'd be hotter if I was into
dorky stuff, like I'd be like an absolute ten if I liked It's almost
not dragon ball Key though, like you know, it's kind of almost just
pop culture at this point. It's like Star Wars, but people are like
star I like Star Wars. I'm so nerdy. It's like, oh,
so you like a thing that a little more in there, because like I
don't like and I don't like Star Wars either, So it's fair. Dune's
better. I haven't seen it all jerking off Dune because I saw today.
It was awesome. It was a masterpiece. You just won't stop. Yeah,
so this is our second Button Medicine episode. But what inspired me was
people who listened to The Drinking Roll Show will know about this, but I
wanted to show you a listener brought this in. This is work. It
does work. I believe you don't need to plug it in. It does
because I don't even know where it outlet is. It does work, but
it might catch fire. Yeah, what does it do? It looks like
a vibrator. It kind of is. It's a vibrator for your prostate.
You put it in your ass. It's from the nineteen thirties. Yeah,
it has, as far as I know, been used. What does it
have a nineteen thirties You said, doesn't it smell? Someone was claiming it
smell, but I don't know. So that is a dyla them. It's
a prostrate massager from the nineteen for actually from the nineteen forties, I'm sorry
now the thirties, from the nineteen forties post war. Uh. If you
had prostatitis, which is essentially just a swollen prostate, you put that up
your ass. Let it rip and there's three levels to it. Yeah,
until your prostate felt better. It has a it's it both heats and vibrates.
I bet it gets pretty hot, you would think from that era it
probably does not have great temperature control. No, they don't like it,
you know, like it's a two prong it's this looks like it's been warped
with heat. I mean the cord it's is it's like it's that looks like
that. It looks like the chord looks like if you have an estate sale
for your grandma and you find like an old thing in the back of the
closet, like an old yeah, an old lamp in the back of the
closet. That's what that chord looks like. Well, it's literally from the
fort will it gets really hot. This is this is beautiful. It looks
like, I mean, it looks exactly like what it is used for.
Yeah, if you ask me what is that, f you right off the
bat, You're like, oh, it's a dildo. It's going in some
orifice. So it turns out an external stimulator. I did a little digging
on this and it turns out that the asshole was a really really popular entry
point for doctors for about fifty years. Like to treat all manner. There's
only so many holes in a human body, and the ear is not easy
to get into. In the mouth, you don't really want to fuck with
everybody else to the mouth. Yeah, everyone was so fucking coked out of
their minds. There's deis barbers, and there's their noses were probably their septums
are all screwed up anyway. So look, I mean, if you if
the front door is locked well and given oral hygiene, you know, I
bet the ass will smell better. It's it's basically it's like how a dog's
mouth is cleaner than a human's, Like a someone from eighteen ninety two,
there assholes actually cleaning mouth. That doesn't. It's honestly not super efficient though
I've taken some positories in my life. It takes so long. I always
shout them out there. They're never never get enough. Well, maybe you
need a tool like a little like you know, tampon. No, no,
no, like a tampon applicator where you can put the thing in and
then you and so you put it not not the entrance but at the back
corridor. I've used a vaginal applicatory for like a monostat. Yeah, I
had to put them on in not in cordy, Okay. I was like,
why couldn't she do her? So? Yeah, I I did it
in a in a girlfriend in college and uh you why I don't remember.
I just remember doing it. If there was a cruise though, and you
lit it infection, yeah she had? Oh yeah, was she unconscious?
No that she never applied it put in a tampon. That's such a weird
thing to ask your boyfriend to do. If you have any of your faculty,
she had never done I guess done it before and that needed help.
Oh no, it wasn't very hot this poor girl. Wal how long did
y'all date out till until? Oh that was like at the beginning of a
two year relationship. Oh god? Yeah, So yeah, the asshole a
lot of medicine going up there for kinds of like pills. So well,
first off, that's not even the only applicator that's like the Gen five asshole
prostate massage. This is from nineteen ten. It's called the recto rotor.
No, what's cool about this and not gay at all, is that it
shoots out hot blube out of the top lubricating vent holes. Yeah, large
enough to be efficient, small enough for anyone over fifteen years old, so
it's good for a fifteen year olds, butthole. Wow. It cures things
like constipation. So if you're constipated, a doctor in nineteen you can just
stimulate it out. Yeah, a doctor in nineteen ten might be like,
hm, but of something up there and let it start shaking. Yeah,
they didn't have laxatives. I feel like, first off, everything back then
should have been a laxed it. People died of diarrhea, like I kind
of a solid shit would be the auditor. It's a miracle. Yeah,
I thank god, it's like one. Oh is there anything better than like
a good normal, like perfect solid shit. I think the perfect time to
spend on the ship too, is about eight minutes. No, that's way
too long. You think that's way too long. You'll spend eight minutes shitting.
I've spent twenty minutes shitting. Yeah, that's like a yeah, you
spend that long, Oh my god, yeah, twenty minutes. Yeah,
that I'm taking bak. Are you actively shitting the whole time? Or is
it thirty minutes of I mean thirty seconds of shitting and fourteen minutes of avoiding
responsibilities? Everything depends on all depends on the diet. Like today, I
ate some pizza for dinner, so that'll probably be a little more b than
a. Oh no, I'm like, you definitely take longer on company time.
Oh yeah, but that's not I'm not shitting like I shit, and
then I'm just hanging on your phone and I'm hanging out. I'm doing the
crossword. You don't shit in thirty seconds, so I mean, the majority
of them you can get out pretty quickly. But there's always some stuff that
when I'm healthy, everything's coming out in one fell swoop. Yeah, have
you seen that? In one solid form? Ship four is what you want
poop types. I don't think Rob has solid ships though very odd. I
feel like both of y'all probably have. I do I have actually really good
work at it. You have a biome, you're you're conscious of the biome.
Yes, and I know what works for me. Yeah. Yeah,
I'm pretty swampy. I've been paying attention to my ship since I was seventeen
out of necessity. I had equal eye when I was eighteen. I like
the restaurant I worked at, steal my valor. Well, I had it
for I got sick for a weekend. No, I had it for a
year. I didn't ship solid for als. It wasn't because of that,
but I did leave. I hadn't drop out of college because I couldn't shit.
I mean I really took off the spring semester because my crowns y e
ship fifty times a day. Yeah. I used to diarrhea in like porta
potties at tailgates for like six months, like just anywhere I went out and
Dane out. Uh so. Yeah. The recto rotor shoots hot lube out
of its tip hole. Uh cool? Getting cream pie by this thing basically?
Uh it also I don't know how, but it's supposed to cure hemorrhoids
as well. It's just the stimulation, like how you can kind of massage
a bruise away. Okay, no, it pops it, I don't.
You don't want it to pop, do you? You wanted to go down
on its own. I feel like a popped here hemorrhoid in nineteen ten is
almost certain death. Like poop is getting into it and you're getting infected,
and there's no antibiotics like there. You can't put like neosporin on anything.
No. I think what penicillin was in the twenties or thirties or something like
that. Yeah, you rubbed dirt on it. That's just a cup of
mud. Yeah, if you make the two germs fight each other, they
both died. And the soap and water like they didn't even use soap for
plenty of things, and the start washing their hands before surgeries until when were
for sure. Yeah, but I think they learned their lesson once they killed
fucking Garfield. We'll talk about Garfield today. Garfield got lostough. Garfield was
a good president. He just never got off. He never got off the
runway. He had so much promise. They never got off surgeons too.
He probably maybe surgeons began regularly scrubbing in in the eighteen seventies. Okay,
so right after the Civil War, right after fucking ninety thousand surgeries. Yeah
right, it would have it would have been better for that to come a
few years sooner. Yeah, Like, there are probably people that died of
like, you know, a lot very preventable cut, A fuck ton more
people. More people died from not battle than from battle in the Civil War.
A lot of diarrhea deaths in the Civil War. Actually, I I
just never I've never gotten over what's his name dying in Game of Thrones,
her husband, Denaris's husband who died of the cut? That one. Oh
yeah, yeah, the one little baby cut. That's how goes man Jason
Momoa. Yeah, what was her name? Yeah, it doesn't matter the
way that show ended, there's no reason to rest unforgivable. I agree,
I agree. Uh. There was also this beauty I believe from the twenties.
I didn't have a picture. Oh yeah, I do a picture,
but this is uh, they gave instructions. Oh yeah, you're actually gonna
show me a photo once. Well you've seen the other two. It's like
a tampon applicator right up there. Now. I don't think they understand that
a scrotum is actually outside the human body, because that is. You can't
aim doubt, Like it's like oops, if I pointed down, it'll end
up in the scrotum. Yeah, hmm, okay, I just enjoy that.
This is the same time that sodomy is illegal. They're just selling things
to jam up your ass left and right. I like how they have a
pucker kind of. There's always a workaround, like weeds illegal in Texas,
but you just nine. Yeah, it's the same thing. Like the cure
for homosexuality is put it up your ass. As long as it's not a
pin. If you need a friend to do it, that's fine too.
It's actually just you put it over the penis. And so this is what
it looked like. Uh, the actual product. It's still a drawing,
but a lot of cord, a lot of cord, A light bulb attached
to it. Oh no, look it's in like a yes, like an
indicator, Like, yeah, it's an indicator, but it's a full light
bulb because it's the the light bulb stays out. Light bulb does not going
your asshole. The light bulb just turns on to let you know it's working.
But I think you would probably know it's what triggers the light bulb an
idea. You plug it in Eureka, but it makes contact with turns,
strikes gold. Yeah. Just like so all of these things, over the
course of at least nineteen ten, two, nineteen forty eight, forty nine,
something like that, we're sold four men to put up their asshole.
I mean, these are just vibrators. These are vibrators that shoot out hot
lube. I bet it was so hot like temperature. I want you to
know right now, you two and everyone listening at home, your grandparents shove
this up your ass. Well that's I wrote this down. At some point
we each between us six grandparents, right, six six grandfathers six yeah,
yeah, six grandfathers. There's no fucking way one of our grandfathers did not
put something up their ass for medicine. There is just no way. Yeah,
Mexico. So do you think were they doing it down there? Oh?
Who knows? Escaped? They didn't have this technology. No, Yeah,
they just fucking they just rammed a long horn up it. There's they
ripped open in agave plant, looped up a long horn and just they just
you know, when you live in a potentially I don't know where they're from,
but if it's a little simpler down there. Then they escaped science run
them up, which is that you have you have the completely wrong idea about
Mexican hospitals. They're a little bit more advanced and more experimental, so they
got to this before us. Okay, yeah, you go test it in
Mexico. It's more craftsmanship. You know, when they close you up,
it looks like in a Talavetta pattern or something. There's just like a beautiful
embroidery. They also get a lot of work with the cartels. But yeah,
I'm sure they do. Yeah, good, good R doctor. I
would trust the R doctors there more than ours probably, Yeah. Depend When
my dad was in the er rotation. My dad's a doctor and he was
in Houston in like the late eighties, he's early nineties, like pick of
the AIDS crisis and like gang violence and like the Houston Fourth Ward and stuff.
Sometimes if he was in a bad mood or he didn't like the patient,
he would sew them up and not align their tattoo, just like suck
it up just a little bit, just slightly off they got Staboh he just
thought it was a stupid tattoo. Or if they were just like rude,
like he would just like not do a good job of the statue limitations passed
on that. Yeah, practice, I can assure you, and I'm sure
they're all dead. I'm sure that everybody that was in this hospital was all
work of their own hands. Most likely you're not living that long. No,
dumb, kind of a metal, kind of a cool move. That's
fucking sweet. That's fucking awesome. That is one of the better doctor stories
I've ever heard. Actually he's a bully, but like a cool guy.
He's like a cool guy. He's just like like some gang bangers, like
hurry up, bitch, and he's just like, Ah, You're dragon is
not going to be where you want it to be anymore. Yeah, I
love I Now I want to meet your dad. You would like it.
I really maybe I will if your sister ever gets married whenever that is.
Yeah, you're going going across country, going to do one here. I
will probably not be in South I would love to go to South Africa.
Yeah, but yeah, at least go to the party here. Yeah,
some type of safari'd be sweet anyway. So there was a whole industry about
the ass we get me one too, and it is insane to me that
it lasted as long. But it turns out that jamming rods and dildo's or
whatever vibrators up the ass was not the only way men or people in general
were treated. Like I said earlier, the butthole for about fifty years was
a very very popular entry point into human beings for medicine, from about I
don't know, the eighteen seventies to the nineteen ten. Now I think food
like in the mouth would mix up with the medicine and make it not as
potent. Kind of is it about medicine or is it about examinations. It
is about both, like it would do. The examinations to me is pure
king. It is examination. It is medicine, and it is general treatment.
So this next thing, it's not exclusively for men. They did this
for women too, but probably it was most famously used on two men.
I also think the same time. Women at that time too were not necessarily
listen to highly regarded or considered. I actually fun fact there we are for
any type of we only know about between the year about ten thousand BC and
nineteen twenty seven. We only know about the existence of about nineteen women.
Yeah, yeah, and that's all there was. It's a better time,
though I don't. I don't know of any Honestly, I have too many
rights. I have to make too many decisions. It's it's like Netflix,
right, you have too many things. I mean, it's like I miss
I missed going to Blockbuster and there're being four choices. I'm like, well,
tell me what I want to watch. I don't know what I want.
Otherwise you're just there for forty five minutes and then you turn it off
and some type of disappointment. I mean, honestly, just being on pills
and dusting the house sounds pretty great. It's a simple life. Wear a
neighbor, yeah oh, giving one blowjob a day, boo hoo, four
minutes, and then the rest of the day. I get to do whatever
the fuck I want. Okay, oh he leaves for work, he leaves
for work. I get to do whatever. I get to fuck the milkman.
I think, well, now women earn or I don't think women earn
more than men yet, but I think it's trending that way because women earn
college degrees at like yeah, alf they're more educated, and they like work
harder because they like want rights and want, and I think men are about
to realize like, damn, running errands is way sweeter. Let's go get
coffee and talk about sports. I love Look at look at Jake. Yeah
yeah, the dream loving it. Yeah, he's living bread, He's thriving,
and especially so is Katie, like because because like stuff gets done around
the happening. Yeah, Like it's like, well, if I'm not going
to do anything, I might as well like clean the house and eat it
out. Yeah. He was literally talking about doing gardening and moving limestone,
which we missed, but I do that the like I still have to go
to work, and I still have to like you know, like I have
like investments. I have to like think about my future. And I'm like
I don't want to stupid. I just want to take pills and do housework.
Yeah, I'd much rather somebody take care of me. See. This
is this is the forty chest that men play. Right if we realize,
like wait a minute, this is better. Yeah, let's let's let them
into college. Fifth Wade feminism nobody wants to work. Fifth way femminism is
like let's all stay home. Just socialism. It's not even socialism, it's
just like an AI nanny state, we just stop having AI make art and
like have them do tours instead. I don't understand why art is the first
thing there. I know, like do other stuff, Like why can't why
can't it come Like when the bill comes in, figure out like the amount
that I owe, the amount of my room? I oh, send out
the venmo, Like why can't everything happen automatically? Why do I have to
be in charge of everything? Right? I don't need it to make me
a van go painting. Yeah, I needed to. I needed to automate
all of my taxes and bills. I need it to take out the track.
Oh, well, they're certainly going to use it with the irs.
Yeah, they use it the wrong way. They use it to get to
me. Yeah. I want to use one of those like little pizza delivery
robots to walk my dog, like just get like those little robots that I've
walked across some No, yeah, I saw you they were today. I
saw some downtown. He looks both ways like he stops at intersections, like
they know where the intersections are. Well, we're eventually going to get to
the point where you can't drive. Everything's going to be on a band hate
driving. Take that right away too. I want the option to drive.
I'll never use it, yeah, but I want the option. Yeah,
you can take my steering wheel out of my cold dead hands. I hate
driving driving, I like you. I want to sit in the back seat
and fuck on my phone, funk around on my phone on the way home,
on my twenty five minutes. You let me sit in the back seat
and fun around on my phone. I'm just gonna suck around on my phone
in the driver's seat. I also want to have an excuse to not get
a duy. Oh my god, I know right, like I didn't drive
the car. Was me? Wasn't me? I know I'm drunk ro and
I know we crashed into this pole, but I don't do it. That's
the systems for I'm over here. So again this next treatment most famously used
on two men. Do you know what a nutritive anemata is? Enema?
Like? Is it like an enema? Like you shoving nutrients up there like
little pellets. I was gonna say, you just shove out of Mammy up
your ass nutri system. I think you're both right, kind of. It's
uh. South Park did a whole episode about it. It's pretty mch pretty
much food to eat. Oh no, jabbing food like not not like not
like any toilet shake, but like eating through your butt a piece of celery
in your asshole. I mean it was they chopped it up. Yeah,
I would think it was maybe liquid if you was vegetables or meat. I
feel like it would be like gruel, like shoving oatmeal up at your ass
carrot. It was not whole they did. They definitely chopped it up.
They definitely blended it or whatever. So baby burning it into someone a bit.
Yeah, it was a puree certainly. So this was done when someone
was unable to eat. Again. Most famously, probably this was done to
two men in particular, James Garfield and William McKinley, presidents of the United
States, and that was like the pinnacle of treatments, like the VIP,
like this is the best we got. Oh yeah. Garfield didn't need to
die. He got shot. He was going to survive the wounds. But
the doctors just went in finger Doll's wounds, which just dirty Finger do all
his wounds just like dripping in like a gruel shake into all of his holes.
Oh no, he only got the gruel shake. In one hole.
But while they were both being treated for their wounds after they were shot by
assassins. Neat should we really call Charles Catou a fucking assassin? Look,
I mean technically he is, but he is. He doesn't really earn that.
Charles Gattou. You know what Charles Gatto did? He he like chucked
up a shot, a horrible shot that was never going in and it got
goal tended. This is back when you bounce off someone's head into the Yeah.
Basically, were you aware of this? You can literally stalk a president.
You go to the White House and just follow him. No, this
is what he did to James Garfield. Basically I can't because I have a
job and I don't get to just do pills and do whatever I want.
If I could, I if I could just take pills and do whatever I
want, I would love to do that. What stock the president? Or
just see what Joe Biden does all day long? Yeah, just watch him
like rumba into walls. Not know what he's doing. No repercussions either,
Like, no one's gonna stop, you's gonna stop. No major his the
dog will stop, the dog will he will boll you. But I mean,
the whole Gatto thing's funny just because he was he was in a sex
colt. He got you acted for being too weird. You can't beat you
can't bring weird energy to the threesome, to the orgy, to the orgy.
Yeah. That company then turned into a prominent silver brand. Uh.
I thought, I thought of the only silver brand I could think of.
Crazy the way to pivot, your way to adapt to the changing market conditions
of Charles because he did stink. He's a very smelling man. He was
even for the time. Really they mentioned it. Yeah, oh boy,
well Garfield, his little stink hole was getting played with left and right.
I don't know if you did you mention this in your episode you mentioned the
other holes maybe in passing. There was just so much on that bone.
Physicians provided nutrition rerectedly, uh, instilling, defibrinated blood and beef extract.
I knew it would be meat. I knew it would be meat, like
they loved putting chicken and beef broth up your asshole. Yeah, gotta get
that proteins. So you go to h GB. You see the beef broth
suit that you can drink or whatever, like without that layer of fat at
the top. Yeah, that broth you can drink. I don't know who
the fuck does that? You don't. Jake made some to drink some like
yeah, like chicken beef or some chicken broth or chicken stock to drink.
Yeah, were you drinking it? No, but I was eating the chicken
that He then used the butt. You warm it up, you casually sip
it like a tea. Yeah, gross a lot. Maybe dip one of
his biscuits into it, the bread into it. Death anything. You don't,
you don't, I don't. I don't want to drink jew other things
that were put up people's buttholes for nutrition. And this was by the way,
in this time period like eighteen seventies to nineteen early nineteen hundreds. If
you could not eat for whatever reason, they basically immediately started pouring things into
your asshole and aming fucking beef and bones, Yes, eggs, various meat
bros. Eggs. Uh, you just rocky your fucking eggs in your asshole.
Basically like, hey, you know those videos where they take an empty
water bottle and they're like, instead of separating eggs one by one, you
can squeeze the water bottle over the yellow and then you pull it up and
it'll it'll slurp up the yolk and then you move it over. So you're
going on the egg white driven that And what's that you do that with your
asshole? What's that thing you mentioned earlier with your they put in your pussy,
Oh, speculum. Yeah, so they put the speculum in the asshole
and just start dropping eggs in there. Yeah, reverse Mario, and I
have to try that out because I'm not a big fan of eggs. I
eat them, but i'm not I love it. Yeah, I think you
need to get it for the game. I think you need to get some
stirrups and let me try this. Yeah. Also, because this was the
late nineteenth early twentieth century, of course they were putting some booze up there
as well. I was going to add it was like, tell me it's
beer or gin or something. Actually, usually brandy, brandy brown, brown
and brown. Yes, it's like liquor before beer. Brown and the brown
milk also commonly employed physicians. They wanted to get a broad range, you
know, they wanted to carbohydrates, protein, fat all in the rectal diet.
They wanted to make sure less common but still done. Blood blood,
human blood, no animal blood? Sure, gruel, I said, yeah,
coffee. What is gruel or grids? Yeah? Basically yeah, it's
like it's almost like gruel in particular. Honestly, you know what that probably
really is. It's like so it's sort of like you know how like slaves
and stuff were giving like pigs feet and stuff. These are like the it's
like the throwaway grain that like the hops that they already made beer with.
Yeah. Yeah, it's all it's like garbage. You make it up,
eat it up and add some honey. Ye wait, what was the last
thing you said? Just various minerals, maybe like salt or something, salt
up the butthole. Don't you think that would burn? Probably salt burn?
Probably um in New York. Uh, The doctor sg Armor preferred milk mixed
with beef blood, although he noted when using stimulants by the rectum, I
do add cream to the milk, sure, because that helps to Yeah,
you gotta make a suspension, like a pharmacist. They make a suspension.
That means like so like if you if you need a pill, you can
take pill. But for kids or anybody that can't take pills, they make
a suspension, but they can't just like liquefy the pill. So they take
like they open it, they grind it up, and then they add like
sugar and water and it's like this creamy white. It's like a sea mini
mixture that they drink. They don't make matchewable like a flintstone vitamin, because
like a crying baby isn't gonna choose something. You're just fucking like she's supposed
to make baby baby, isn't. I mean, I yeah, when I
get my kids tiling all or whatever, I got out squirted, they make
everything a gummy at this point. That's what I did for my dogs too.
They won't take pills. So I just kind of just like slammed TVD
in the back of his throat. Yeah, I have to just hold it.
Shit. Amounts put into the butthole typically ranged between three and twelve ounces.
Eight ounces is a cup, other twelve ounces cup. I'll look it
up real quick, but yeah, it's big, big them out. That's
a lot of liquid. If it's a if it's a whole cup, eight
ounces is a cup, so cup and a half cup and a half right.
A PIRATEX is two cups it's like almost a full pirate. Yeah,
yeah, yike, pour right in there, funnle It is there like a
tube and a funnel or is it just it like it is a tube funnel
situation. It also has to feel so weird to hold all that liquid in
you, because I remember my expositories where I had a it was liquid.
I had to shoot it up and when it went in it just felt like
I was full. Yeah, it gets into your large and test. Have
you ever had like X rays or imaging done where they put that they like
shoot this stuff like this contrast into your wherever, like your knee or something.
I have not, and it's ice cold and you're like one knee just
just like freezing cold. I mean I felt that from getting an IV before,
when you're like your arms like, oh my god, Like I love
it, It's so good. I love. I love like a weird foreign
sensation like that. I like a painful beauty treatment like I like when a
facial hurts, not like that, Yeah I did just yesterday. Oh do
you do not not like that kind I don't want those to hurt, Like
I don't really enjoy those kinds of facials, Like in general women don't enjoy.
Yeah, be weird if I didn't enjoy. I've done it a couple
of times, and it was like, I think there's so many rules around
it. By the time it's happening, you're just like, do you feel
stupid? Do you just feel good? To you? This is dumb?
Or we're in the shower. I'm clearly not enjoying it. You can't.
You can't be enjoying. And also like I'm jerking off to get off,
yeah, and afterwards I need help getting up, so I'm like, I'm
just like a baby. I'm just getting up off your knees. You're making
faces I don't want to see. It's not it's not fun for anyone.
I can never look at you the same like only in porn. Grow it's
not I mean, like you said, you only it's it's hotter to only
hot and porn like the reality of it, the reality of the aftermath.
You never really do it to somebody you love. Yeah, you enjoy,
I mean maybe you do it once or twice and then you're like, oh,
I feel really bad for you. I never want to do this again.
Yeah, I think it's kind of just been once and then like my
reaction is so not what they wanted. And it's like, yeah, that's
stupid good Yeah, are you done? Are you done asking? I'd rather
do a threesome, be less painful, Like was that on the table?
Was it facially threesomes? I picked the rad door most men tend to do.
It's like, you could have you could have, we could have had
a better night. He's playing, let's make a deal, and you opened
the first briefcase and took it twenty bucks a pretty good deal. I don't
even need to see the other doors. Damn, tell your boyfriend. She
tells you you can do a facial. I think keep it. Definitely,
Yeah, definitely. Dudes that get off to just I guess some type of
domination or just like disrespect. Yeah, but you can just do that by
dating them, right, you know what I mean? I like to disrespect
over a long the long con that's that's the biggest disrespect you can do.
Were things where you just she just drove him to insanity. Yeah, she
made him talk like a retart at the end to steal time from the woman.
Yeah, there's nothing to steal their youth. Yeah they're not, because
you can picasso it and toss a baby and someone at ninety Yeah, but
her shes got like eight good years, wait till her uterus is decaying and
then yeah, you're six years deep. And he'd be like, ah,
man, I didn't really think it was that serious. I feel when when
girls are dating somebody for that long and I'm like and they're like, he
said he's going to propose this here, I'm like, did he did he
say that? Oh? But I thought that's kind of like a promise ring,
you know, it's whatever at the time. Yeah, it's like a
soft promise. Yeah, it's like I I didn't think I was lying,
turns out I was. I mean, that's kind of how I felt when
I got married. It was like, yeah, like we're here in sickness
and in health. Yeah, it's like I'll just take like, if we're
both healthy, let's act like healthy people. And if you're sick, open
your asshole, yeah, and I'll pour stuff in will poor gruel and blood.
Many physicians also included uh, laudanum or other opiates. The purpose that's
fun for you know, just uh what I would do that. Yeah,
it's you're butt chugging heroin, just butt chugging heroin. Yeah, why not?
Yeah, so I can do housework right after Uh this actually, now
this will you'll find this interesting. Pouring stuff in the butt specifically drugs was
also used for women suffering from morning sickness if they were pregnant and audum.
Yeah and oh my god, anyone survive I don't know, well plenty didn't.
It was also used for abortion, so they were really walking a tight
rope there when they were like, Okay, half a cup just feels just
makes the the ouchies go away. Full cup makes the baby go flush and
everything. Yeah, hey, take notes. Good to know. Yeah,
if you ever get pregnant with you something you don't want, you'll have a
plug. That's what I'm saying you can do. If you can do a
handstand, I can get the loudum if you have a loudinum plug. Please
leave a comment below, but only on the patriots across state borders. That's
just book a fucking flight, make a whole vacation out of the just find
some monkey bars. Jackson, Mississippi is so far. I don't think that's
the place to go. I think that's the closest place to Austin to get
a board. Yeah, I think it's New Mexico. I think I think
Jacksonsissippi is slightly closer. I just don't think Mississippi. I was working on
a joke about it and I googled it one time. But oh, really
is the place? How is that the place? How do they have more
chill laws in Texas? Just have a fun weekend in Vegas or something,
you know, Yeah, just just ride roller coasters and sit in hot tubs.
Yeah, well, it's probably legal that a cheese eat unpasteurized cheeses and
grocery buffet you can even honestly, there's probably planned parenthoods and laves Vegas that
have slot machines in them. So it's oh my god. Or like strippers,
like like how they like pass out like baseball cards for strippers. When
they do that for abortion doctorsday morning abortion doctors, they're like, this is
doctor. His rates stats were not good, a lot of failed abortions.
Not everything and not everything leaves Vegas or every some things do leave Vegas.
I should say, uh eventually, because uh, you know, this is
America and everything's a business. Uh. This they sold butt juice commercially over
the counter butt juice. Uh, this is some meat juice you put up
your ass. You can get it on the before. Yeah, this is
actually I love this. It's it's called Valentine's Preparation, meat juice, meat
juice, make medicine, romantic shake. Shake, It says shake before,
so shake. What is it for them? Butt? Whole nutrition? Just
general health like if you're if you're having trouble eating, maybe like heartburn or
something like that, but you still need the nutrients. Again, do a
handstand and have the husband or the missus or whomever or made Yeah, pour
it down your asshole. Is it like a like a like a needle pump
or is it just like a little like a like a hose? Oh so
there was oh god, I forget the name of it, like celestra or
something, a silistern or something like that. Essentially, it's like a thing
that you fill and then they almost like a big injector like a meat and
you know, like like a turkey based yes, exactly that type of thing,
and then you do it like that juice tampon applicator. Yes, basically.
Some doctors also reasoned that, uh, you know, if you want
to nourish the blood, why bother going through the digestive process at all.
Why bother putting food in to nourish the blood and the blood just put in
more blood to nourish the blood animal blood. So they just they just start
pouring animal blood into your Why did they figure out blood types? Do you
know? I'll look it up real quest because the idea one good thing nineteen
one. Like what happens if you get the wrong blood, Like does your
blood rejected? But reject I'd imagine rejects it like a like a dead or
like a dead foot that doesn't want to take. If you get the you're
the you're come from the medical family. I don't know, but to be
fair, they're not transfusing blood. They're pouring animal blood into your buttthole.
It's a bloodshot, a blood booth. Yes, got it. So I
don't think there's any blood mixing problems. Almost have blood types. I'm just
gonna keep asking questions. You don't know, it's probably probably, I would
guess probably. It would be weird if cows only had one blood type.
It would be beneficial for cows. It feels like it beneficial for everyone.
Let's just have one type. I'm a universal whatever, I'm a universal donor,
but I can only I have no idea what my blood type is.
I don't know why my blood type is either, I can't remember, but
I am the universe. I was supposed to write it and put it in
my I have it in my phone. But that's fine. Nobody wants youlls
dirty blood anyway. Well, yeah, I'm stained. There were several side
effects to this, including constipation in one third of cases, uh, rectal
ear irritation surprisingly causing quote immediate return. No like that one scene and was
it hall passed where she like shits out? Yeah? Actually, you know,
have you seen Zach and Mary make a porno and they're filling from the
bottom? Yeah, and that he pulls out and more immediate return. It
seems like it worked. Then what goes up must come down. I mean,
if if you're trying to cure constipation, I mean, way to get
it out, Yeah, get it going, and with the blood in particular
quote from a doctor quote. In two cases, the discharges were so very
offensive as to cause serious annoyance in the house. So the ship was so
terrible they essentially had to clear out the house. Whole fucking house. I
mean that does I think this is a thing you should do outside. I
think that's on them to be doing any kind of like anal you know,
like on the deck of a ship on a windy day, and whatses are
for, you know, or like just go the barn, you know,
like just kick a cow or much more rural people at this time necessarily all
in cities, but do it outside, like you know, like okay,
in the pandemic when all the I cut my sister's hair, and I was
like, we're not going to do this inside. We're gonna cut hair outside.
And that way, you know, whenever I make a mess, I
don't have to clean it up. Same thing, but you're able to wind
take your sister's hair your But you know what you did, by the way,
by cutting your sister's hair outside, and I assume not really cleaning it
up. I contributed to the birds nests of the neighborhood. No, but
kind of it does involve birds. I was gonna say, you wasted an
opportunity to donate locks for love, like all kinds of birds, like pigeons,
anything. Human hair has been causing uh tourniquets on bird feet. Ah,
so they lose toes or whole. If you see a bird without a
leg and you're like, oh my god, it's because you had it.
It's because human hair got wrapped around its leg. It's because you did that.
Well, sorry, guys, you can do it. I won't do
it again. The only way to grow it back is to actually pour beef
broth into its aka. You committed genuside baby drop like a little like a
baby motron. You gotta pin that bird down and just yeah, like pop
right back up. One doctor e Fie Stewart in New York, he did
you know, he wasn't. He wasn't just gonna put any blood into your
asshole. This guy was responsible a one angus grass fed grass finished. He
stressed the importance of obtaining fresh, high quality blood. You can't have blood
from diseased cattle, blood from animals that had just traveled a long distance.
I mean, you need a well well rested animal blood. But it wasn't
cows, cow's, horses, whatever, just up whatever, just they you
need to be strong dog. I mean, I think it tastes like happy
cows taste better. Probably it's true, And they're better for your fucking asshole
to you, better for your asshole. Uh. He recommended sixty to one
hundred and eighty grams of blood to be administered two to three times a day.
That's much smaller than a one and a half cup. Why am I
measuring liquid and grams? I don't know? Why is it not doctor?
Yeah, I don't know metric system. I don't even know what that amount
of liquid looks like in grams. Yeah, pretty much, it's probably I
guess it's dropple it's a blood then not that much. Maybe I really don't
know. Uh. President Garfield's doctors uh kind of showed that this was a
widespread practice at the time for four days widespread. They spread them wide,
and they put defibrinated blood uh in his asshole. But they didn't keep doing
it because quote, the volume of offensive gases developed together with the character of
the ejecta ejecta, which is another way to say horrible diarrhea. I guess
no rendered necessary a return to beef extract. So they were pumping blood up
his asshole, but he was shitting so horrifically like on them, sitting at
them, probably at them. They were like, oh good god, yeah,
how do you how do you maintain your professionalism? When you're getting president
of the United States, mister president, Oh what a presidential loan? Can
you fucking imagine? Like this is the most not at that point not the
most powerful personal world, but like top ten again he was stalked by a
homeless man. Yeah, can you like the last couple months of that guy's
life stalked by a hole shot and then just a team of the best doctors
in the world jamming fingers and god knows what else up every hole in your
body? Ones you made, one's another guy made. Was he asking to
be killed? Like I feel like you know when you hear stories about people
that are like kill me, kill me, like they're like, okay,
well oblige, yeah, slowly, just do it. So two fingers then,
so look we're getting a fucking fore finger in as bad as Garfield figu.
It's like a fisting. You gotta start like this and then it goes.
That's where Dane could get from, speaking of things. No one's ever
done fisting. I know lesbians. Lesbians do it. Lesbians do it,
okay, because look at my fist that's so small. Are you going like
elbow deep? You could go like yay deep to your bang in the drum.
Yeah, I definitely could go this deepen. I mean, not inside
myself, but I could go. You definitely go paper first and then turn
the rock. Yeah, domee scissors, that's what that's how you that's how
you give a pap smerror. Yeah, that's how you take some cells.
Man, that that's gonna be rough. It's not fun. It's not fun.
Fist. Oh, fisting, that's too much. I've never been fisted,
but maybe there's been times where I'm like, I think fisting would be
easier than trying to get that inside me. What it was, it was
insane. I was like, I saw this guy's dick and I I said,
no way, you said not? I laugh, I like he was.
We were like and I was like, that's not happening, that's not
happening. I can try, and I did. I tried, and I
was like, get out, get out, this isn't working. See.
My wife told me that story about a Dallas Cowboys player that she was gonna
hook up with and he was pulled his pants down and it was and she
was like and she was like, yeah, you have a good sized penist,
like I have a goldilocks penis. Boyfriend Penis. That's no Penis,
it's what you want. You don't you don't want who she keeps telling me,
you don't want this. Like the next day, though, I did.
I sent him a picture of my arm like this because I hadn't met,
because I measured it because I was like joking, like I was,
I love a bit when you're trying to when someone's trying to fuck and you're
like, let's just do bits and I and like we measured it and it
was it was this big. And the next day I just sent him a
picture of my arm. I was like, miss you, I'd do that
too. Did you ever get it? No? Not all like I like,
it was like I got like two thirds the two thirds compromise. Wait
did you three fists? I think yeah, it was three face two thirds
would actually would that be more? No? Two thirds would be yeah,
fifteenth three fists is sixty percent okay, two thirds is sixty six percent more
than three fists. Yeah, man, you are terrible at math Why would
I need to know that? Why are you so good at maths? It's
not even good at maths. Oh, the gambling, that's fine, it
is actually yeah, probably that is just such a layup two thirds, You
didn't know that was sixty off the cuff here. I also guessed right,
by the way, I also guessed right that two thirds was more than three.
You didn't know what three fists was. I just doubted myself. I
did not know what three fists was. I But yeah, so what else
did they put in the well, that's pretty much all with Garfield. But
McKinley basically from the moment that the fat one. No, he was around
the same time as Tatah McKinley basically from the moment he was shot to the
moment he died. Doctors were jamming shit up his asshole pikes And how long
was that period between a couple of days, like a week or two.
Yeah, we haven't really covered McKinley's assassination. No, that's how So McKinley
wasssassinated and then Teddy Roosevelt became president. He was his VP. So is
that why he had three No, that's FDR FDR one. No. Roosevelt
ran in another party as a third party. He did run for a third
term, but he didn't win it. Party. Yeah, so by day
three, the president was receiving three nutritive enemas a day that included eggs,
beef juice, whiskey beef juice. I like juice because it's like it implies
like a blending, you know, versus like a stok is just like a
pure liquid. Juice implies a blend although ingredients. Remember when there was a
whole like juice craze there still is. Let's get rid of all the nutrients
and gave you all the sugar, Like, just get rid of all the
ruffage everything that's. Get rid of all the fiber. You get all the
good stuff, the fiber. Spoken like a guy with crons. Give me
fiber, give me death, love me some fiber. Uh. My wife
did celery juicing for a while. Never seen that level of violence in a
toilet. Yikes, you were watching Why are you? Why do you help
all of your females and ladies? Well, he puts a camera in your
toilet? Sure, yeah that was for different reasons. Which toilet so I
know which one to use? None at our current house? Okay not yet?
No? Yeah? Maybe should it back onto it? Yeah? But
he is a live stream from his old house. Cool, yeah, I
do. It's on a couple of websites. Is there anything in these bathrooms?
Could I use this bathroom? One of them? Watch the Patreon?
Okay, oh hey Rob, do you want to keep going? Or yeah,
let's keep killing Okay, sounds good. Let's finish the episode of Pretty
even. Yeah, why so she can't plug anything? So he was getting
three nutral devenomas a day, but after a week or so, the doctors
noted that quote, the rectum was becoming irritable and did not retain the nutril
de vendom as well. So you're saying when it is agitated, it's going
to spit out. Basically, Yeah, the asshole spits all the medicine back
or not the medicine, the food back out. Yeah, the food,
the medicine anything. I would think the opposite, right, Like, if
you've kind of, you know, warmed up the asshole, it'd be more
receptive, you would think so. But mostly since what they were doing is
not useful or helpful at all, that's your medical opinion, which I respect
since you are a doctor. But it, uh, yeah, it mostly
just they were just douching him with beef stock, okay, for like a
week or two, and he would just you know, puck her up.
I guess, like and they so you know, how like have you remember
like in The Big Lebowski where this is like a real thing though, but
like where he fucks Julianne Moore and then she puts her legs up and he's
like, what are you doing? And she's like, oh, this helps
get get me pregnant. Yeah, supposedly whatever. So I think they put
it up his asshole and he had to sort of be in a position where
the body would retain it. That makes sense, tho. Yeah, yeah,
Like they're sexual positions that are like totally you're gonna get this girl pregnant
or no chance. It's never no chance. Man, Please tell me what's
the no chance and what's the totally anal? Is the no chance? No?
The no chance? Well, yes, but if we're going just vaginal
sex only, maybe like a lifting carry, when you're just you're just lifting
her suspending the air, there's no there's no scenario in which semen is inside
of you. That is no chance you could maybe you're barren. It's not
that it's really hard to get a woman pregnant if she's not ovulating. It
is actually yeah, it is, which is something it's actually impressive that so
many poor people get have so many kids. I've been I've been ow natural
for over a year, year and a half almost. So basically, you
just make sure when you're ovulating you're not, and otherwise you're good to go.
Dude, it's crazy like the fact that I grew up, you know.
It's basically like, if I'm horny, don't come in me. Yeah
is the rule, which is just only go at her when she turns you
down. Yeah, that's how you know she's not ovulating is when she's no
no. It doesn't mean no, no means y, no means yes,
I'm not. That's that's the words of Gabby Jesus Christ. So yeah,
basically, from the moment was shot until the moment he died and William McKinley
did die of anal drowning anal it was not getting from the bullet broth.
But yeah, it's it's he They were fiddling with his asshole the whole time.
Maybe it's because of a lack of iron. It kind of makes sense
to inject yourself with beef broth because they like blue wound comma beef enemas.
Yes, or the lack of the lack of nutrition. Rob, hear me
out, what if we try for a month doing this and see if there's
any health benefits nutritive enemas. Put that on the Patreon. Yeah, yeah,
okay, you can go to Patreon and me, Rob and Jake will
shove beef anemas up our asshole and we'll go to doctors first beforehand, and
then after let's like, let's do like like a like a ten foot long
Yeah, that's fine. Actually, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna Eiffel
tower myself with a French dip. Sandwich goes in the mouth, shoe goes
in the asshole. Now I request, could we get like a hot wheel
track that just drops down into our asshole like those Rube Goldberg machine. Yeah,
that's the conclusion where it's actually where it actually picks up different nutrients along
way. So it starts off with a little race car that's just got the
beef broth in it, and then all these other things get poured into it
unnecessarily used, and then it ends with a beef and going up my ass.
Yeah. The final the final, the final stop is like cowblood and
then it launches right in that's how we win an oscar. Yes, sure,
oscar real quick. Before we get back into the episode, we do
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get back to it. Yeah, So eventually they figured out putting putting food
or food like things up your asshole does not feed you. Yeah, you
can't really absorb those. Sure, well there they were pretty sure. That's
funny that they did that before the IVY is like, because IVY nutrients work.
It's it makes sense that it like it seems that no, not I
don't trust these medical doctors at all or these professionals because they were terrible at
their jobs. They killed two presidents kind of Yeah, so the first one.
These animals didn't work. Maybe they gave up too early. Well,
they did give up on feeding you through the asshole. However, for twenty
years after feeding through the asshole fell out of favor, before the IV came
around, they were still hydrating you through the asshole. That seems like it
would work, because it worked. No, it doesn't. Oh, you
have to say, why why does a butt truck get you drunk? Because
the way more fucked up? It goes through your blood because the tissue absorbs
the alcohol, but abnorbing alcohol the alcoholic can you could just dab it along
your ass. Yeah, that's different than it's a very picky hole. Different
than than I can take alcohol, but I can't take fucking electrolyze. Let
me guess you want rights too, You want a bank account? Now,
you want a credit score? Idiot, whole idiot, whole stupid holes.
This is actually the last version of what the hydrating through the asshole ivy.
I guess looked like it looks like one of those dune thumpers, that's what
they called it. Actually that'd be a good thumper. Due thumper. Yeah,
this would go and how it's the sand and I guess just like,
well it's a little pocket rocket, a little like bidayu hoping that that hydrated
you. And so they're just like passing liquid through it. Yeah, water,
I think maybe salely No, no, no, proctoli proctolite. How
did you say, I don't know? Proctoclesis yeah, rectal hydration. Who
cares tructaclesis proctoclysis, proctoclysis. Yeah, that some things is not an indication
that you're smart. It is an indication that you might be pronoun Not being
able to read is an indication of being dumb. Yes, I don't think
so. Reading is kind of overrated at this point by audible. No,
we would never do you wish. Plus they just that's not even reading,
that's being read to. That's a podcast. Yeah, that's because people who
can't read listen to. Like when people say, oh, I read twenty
books this year, we'll listen to them. But then you didn't. You
didn't read it and read you were read to. You were read to a
like I read to my babies before they pete the cat that said, drop
the bag audible balls in your court. Too stupid to read audible, Go
to audible dot com s, Last softcore History. Those would be the best
reads. Oh my god, what's up? Morons? Don't you hate reading?
Would you wish you could? Now you don't have to with audible being
thought of as a mongoloid. We can't do anything about your forehead, but
we can do something about your idiocy. I would go the opposite route and
be like tired of people thinking you're a queer nerd because you open a book.
Well, now, audible dot com s, Last softcore History, he'll
be caught dead reading ever again. Uh. Animals themselves date all the way
back to ancient Egypt, like fifteen fifty BC. We started douching ourselves.
Same with the vibrator. Yeah, no, they go, well, dildo's
go back to like way back, dildo, dildo. Dildo's pre date writing
whoa by a by a lot? That checks out, though, Yeah,
we've wanted to get off before we wanted to write. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Actually, not only does dildo digitals predate writing, dildo's predate farming.
Dude again, we are such a horny species. That's the only reason we're
we're just we're just Binobo's monkeys. Literally, I want to put stuff in
other places. I want to fucking Yeah, what do you think was the
first thing inserted inside a woman that wasn't in penis? I feel like some
sort of animal horn? Yeah, like a tusk. Yeah, it's got
to be as right. I mean, I guess that would be better than
a rock. I don't think a rock would. I don't think I would
put a rock. Are smooth rocks, yeah, but it's hard to smooth
if you don't have tools and if you can't write. Yeah, between how
rock and a hard place? Rock and a hard place. That's actually how
the drum was invented. First drum was the Cervix people. They were heard
something then what like, oh I was? It was like, yeah,
we've been we've been jamming ladies in particular, probably dudes too. When you
have a cave, you're gonna put stuff in it. Yeah. Yeah,
that's why Courtney calls Rob the drumstick. It's because I have the girth of
a modern drumstick, like a church's drumstick. No, no, an ice
cream cone. Yeah, I'm become very conical. Penis like a duck and
there's nuts all over it, and you bite inside and there's chocolate. There's
a guy center, Yeah there is. Yeah, that's what that's the semen.
It just sits in the middle cream and then you gotta bite it out.
That's why. That's why I hate facials. It's so hard to pull
out while they're still blighting. Yeah, and get it on their face.
Yeah, it's a nightmare. A lot of medicines were delivered in ancient Egypt
via the enema as well. In fact, amongst the royal court's the right
way to put it. But amongst the people who tended to the pharaoh,
what the elite. There was a a keeper of the royal rectum. No
for pharaohs is ce asshole? Yeah, like that's insane. There was a
cabinet position in ancient Egypt for the pharaoh who dealt with his butthole. Yeah,
there's butt doctors. Yeah. Is that better than being like a surf
for like a farmer. Oh, this guy's paid, he's living in the
palace. Probably it's better to do that than be like a slave building a
pyramid. Also, how often you have to check on the emperor's fucking hole?
I mean you know it's I think it's like I think it's like it
like, you know, they're doing their job right when you forget about them.
Yeah, I think Max maybe like once a month, he just comes
in takes a look. He's good. I mean, unless they have crones,
unless there's something going on in there, unless it's highly irregular. No,
people don't know those crones was created by the CIA in the eighties.
Oh okay, yeah, checks out about it. We are living in a
hood to get rid of a fluent white man they got they dusted your neighborhood.
That makes sense given what I know about where you grew up, but
that you were in an experience, a CIA experiment. Uh No, I
tweeted, I tweeted it you today, Uh you were talking about ayahuasca.
Yeah. Many Native Americans, including the o Mac and the Mians, took
drugs up the ass for religious ceremonies, including hallucinogens. They were butt chugging
ayahuasca, among other things. So the next time some douchebag tries to tell
you about how they had a really authentic ayahuasca experience from some fucking guy who's
wearing some random shaman and yeah, some doing it off a finger bl seeing
God with the shaman's hand up your asshole and like herbs and spices. True
it. If you did not take ayahuasca up your asshole, you did not
do it. You didn't do it. Whatever. Yeah, whatever jaguar you
saw was not legitimate. It is an illegitimate ayahuasca experience. If you did
not butt chug the ayahuasca, and your ego is not dead. No,
well still it always still dies and then comes back stronger like a phoenix rising
from the ashes from the asshole, as ashes of the asshole. Yes,
cash, asshole, do ayahuasca up your asshole or don't talk to me about
it. I'll actually listen to you about your ayahuasca retreat if you think you
could request it, like, like how I like on Uber you can request
a silent ride, Like I'd like to request an asshole experience. Yes,
I'd like to do it like the Mayans did it. Put it, want
to get connected and like do it the way that they intended. Yeah,
in the ass So I'd like to boof this tea please. Babylonians used animals
to flush out a demon they thought made people sick. Did yank it out
the Back in ancient Greece, animas were considered a safe way to induce abortions.
I don't know what they were enema eing with, but they're putting something
up there. Don't see how that kind of they're two separate they're two separate
tubes. They're like different, you know, like they don't converge. So
like it worked, how I mean, if it worked like it was working,
are they fucking pressure washing it out? I know I didn't see more
information or you shove it all the way up the ass hole that you kind
of like loop around. I think if I think if it's at a right
at a high enough PSI, then maybe you can kind of knock something loose
at the top. Yeah, what kind of PSI you're going to keep your
asshle at like thirty two. I think it's more of like a I think
it's more of like a farm tire like sixty situation. Like, I think
it's a lot. I would imagine the human body can withstand a lot.
I feel like, you know, I think it can. It's both extremely
fragile and extremely strong, yeah, resilient at the same time. It's really
a bizarre dichotomy depends on how much adrenaline you have going through you can't hurt,
although imagine your adrenaline is pretty hig when you're getting the asshole. What
okay, what would be the most painful abortion method? Like prehistoric abortion medod
coat hanger? Huh coat hanger? I see, I don't think that would
be as painful as getting fucking a pressure washing off a cliff. I think
it's like that's just death though, of course, like it's like an abortion.
I think it's it's like it just a tree branch to the belly,
all right, like a really tall hill. I don't know. I think
it would be more painful something on the inside than like an external I mean
there's no medicine, there's no anesthesia, I know, but that's why I
like on the inside it would hurt more. Yeah, maybe like a heated
sword, like you just put a sword on the fire, like a like
a skewering, like removing you just like feel the baby kicking and then you're
like and you're like right there, Yeah, maybe you still have to get
berth though. See that's the thing. It's like I thought this was a
control all delete situation is why is it still here? Force quit the trash
force. Quit take the treasure up, Jesus Christ project button. Speaking of
pain, enemas have also been used as punishment in Argentina during one of their
many situations politically, police forces, as a way of discouraging political dissent,
would give political prisoners pepper or turn in tine enemas. Oh yeah, those
two things. I was thinking, Like a prickly bush. That's not an
enema. That's raping someone with a prickly bush. I mean point taking,
Yeah, literally a point taken. When do you think there's a Do you
think there's a chapter of the Geneva Convention that says like I don't think they.
I mean, I think it's just like a broad like cruel and unusual
punishment. But some of these guys are probably getting off to it. So
yeah, but if someone enjoys it, then it's not cruel for every boner.
There's a thousand tiers, surely, but shirt. But if one person
enjoys it, it cannot be in the Geneva Convention. Oh man, then
nothing, Then there's nothing at the You should be a lawyer if so facto,
stop being gay? Uh. Speaking of Geneva conventions, apparently a practitioner
of the punitive enema is the CIA at Guantanamo Bay. They would give people,
according to the prisoners quote, violent enemas to try and dominate them and
break their spirit. And also when these terrorists would go on hunger strikes,
the CIA, even though this doesn't work, would give them nutrient enemas,
so they just go back. They went back to the James Garfield beef brought
the kind of proves that it works. Yeah, those guys are alive.
Man. How violent does it have to be for like, cause it's like
inherently violent just by the fact that it's happening in Guantanama Bay for them for
them to self classify it as violent, it means it's like, well,
you know people that happened to Although the I think of CIA was like a
country club if you knew the real shit, if you knew the real stories
what was going on, not at Guantanamo but at other places. Alcatraze fool.
That's our bit on the show. Have you ever seen his show even
called Who Cares? Graham Hancock Ancient something? Yeah, there's some dude to
Netflix and he is his whole thing Aliens guy. No, kind of not
that guy. But he's just like what if he doesn't believe alien necessarily?
But it's like if there's a civilization that we don't know about it because it
was before, and well if they beat Pyramids but they did before before before,
what before we know they did? No, Glenzanamos seems fine compared to
I guess I haven't been paying attention. I know Haiti is a terrible place
to live, but I didn't realize they were eating people. Haiti's a nightmare
land. Yeah, the barbecue crazy that it shares land with the Dominican Republic
where there's like a hard rock cafe. Yeah, there's like gross atrocities of
humanity, like twenty miles from a hard rock mountain range, natural border.
They're like, don't go over there. Yeah, here where the casinos are
at the hard rock cafe. A lot of lifting and like every great baseball
player, like there's just like all thirty Major League Baseball teams have camps.
And that's why I said we shouldn't build a wall mountain little mountain range.
Build a mountain range. That seems easier, build a fault line and just
yeah, I agree, we have the technology. I don't think that there's
I mean, I feel like they're just over playing it, you know,
like I don't know. I don't know that many I don't know. We
don't need to get into it. We'll move on. That's all I got
for today. Listen, Gabby wants her family members here. They're all here.
My parents were born here, my grandparents were born here. This is
minimum third. I have more family money than speak more Spanish than you.
When my parents die, I'll get something. When your parents die, you'll
get You'll inherit done. Challenge accepted. I'm going to make so much goddamn
money out of spite. But it's you making money. It's not your parents
giving you money. I'm I'm all I'm saying is I'm more private. My
mama. My mama is a angster. She killed it late in her life.
After I left, You were holding her back. Probably children do I've
been so I've been so unproductive they do. Yeah, it's unbelievable, the
amount of time out of my day, waste it on children. I want
kids, but I don't want infants. I want like a four I want
just like a four year old to show up one day, but it to
be mine. Although I will. That's a misnomer because the first six months,
especially once you know what you're doing. Like with the second kid,
that's easy because they just fucking lay there. You can get a lot done
with an you get a lot of it's the toddlers that you cannot get.
I guess I want like a kindergartener. I'll start with like a kid like
once, once they have a personality and I can send them to school for
free. It probably doesn't help my argument that my parents are currently visiting their
time share. No, that's that's your inheritance. Yeah, one week there,
it goes a year in Saint Martin, Well, Saint Martin. Yeah,
but it's a share, time share Martin. Yeah, and it's a
it's just it's a obligation, like it's a financial obligations. You could have
said Destin, like it could have been worse. Yeah, Branson, Missouri
Saints, there's a saint in the name. St. Martin is good.
Yeah, it's better than Cabo. It's actually in Haiti. Porto prince,
Yeah, Porto princes here, Jesus Christ. Uh So what did you guys
learn today? I'll start with you, Gabby. If you don't remember the
two things we do. What did you learn today? And who's Hitler?
But first, what did you learn today? I mean just the creating,
the endless creativity of physicians throughout, Like what how nice it must have been
to be a doctor before nineteen forty honestly, because you just guess, you
just start You're just like, what if we what if we just pour blood
in that? What if we just wasn't so nice because nobody respected them and
treated them like shit, Yeah they're barbers. They were barbared like you know,
like they were just fucking hairstylists. They're figuring it out. Problem.
What's crazy to me, when I've said this before on other episodes we've done,
is so Mike, Mike grandfather was a doctor, right, and he
went to medical school. People have fucking doctors in their family. Well,
these people there, who's when they're when their loved woulds die, They're gonna
get something. I'm sorry. My grandfather was a water man and my dad
was a water man. I'm sorry too. If it's any consolation. My
grandfather had ten children and so there was no inheritance. My dad has too
many kids. Then my other grandfather was a cop, sweet corrupt narc probably
nice. That's the only cop. Honestly, that's the only cop I respect.
Is a corrupt cop. I agree, you got my dad out of
a d u y nice. Granted, my dad got a essentially Rodney King
in what way he got his ass beat by the cops? Oh okay?
And then when he got to jail, they're like he had one colle He's
like, I'm gonna call Sheriff Murphy. They're like, fuck, beat the
ship out of the wrong guy. First off, any cop on the East
Coast who's beating up a man with an Irish last name? My dad's the
last names on Murphy. Oh fuck, that's right. It's my mom's dad.
So it's right, right, right, his father in law. I
forgot your Daniel Murphy Regester. Ye, But yeah, I always thought it
was funny that, like, so my grandma's a doctor. He became a
doctor. He was in med school in the late thirties early forties for like
two years, like vet school, like vet tech school essentially it was more
legit by then, and he was like a surgeon in World War two and
stuff like that. But like he was literally trained by people who we're still
putting water up people's assholes. He was trained by people who were trained by
people that invented washing their hands, right, he was trained like the people
who trained him were trained by the beef broth asshole pores. Yeah. Yeah,
that's fucking crazy to me. And just like just they were just making
asshole compost Like that's like they're just like, what if we put a worm?
Like what if we just create a biome and just and like until it
until it comes back. You just keep shoving it in there until it's overflowing.
Yeah, honestly, just I admire the creativity and resilience. I just
kind of wish they went through both holes at the same time and see what
happened. They did sometimes just to see where it would meet. Yeah,
where's the middle where it just like a blowhole emerges and someone's fine, just
like your belly button like a fucking whale explodes. That's why we all have
AUDI. That's why everyone had an AUDI in that time. What'd you learn,
Dan? I learned you can't break the human spirit. You could try,
but you can't do it. U A who's today's hitler? Honestly,
no one. We were just trying things out, you know, they're just
rough drafts. Baby. I guess the people that killed are presidents. I
think McKinley was fucked either way, but Garfield was Garfield getting fingered like the
fact that both presidents were just like tortured. You know what I think today's
hitler is whoever said that the stench was so bad, whoever gave the report
on how bad it smelled? Of, like, you don't need to don't
be unprofessional, you know, talking about the president's right that you made it,
you made make it. I don't care how you feel about any president.
You have to respect that position, respect it, and you need you
need to go out with dignity. Yeah, and maybe just do it outside.
M hmm. If you're gonna do an aggressive enema of nutrients into something
that massacred so many pigeons, Oh yes, yeah, Gabby might be today
sailor for the Oh I think I am. Yikes, I had no idea.
I really did not know that. I didn't know that till like I
hate whenever. Also, whenever I see a pigeon with one foot, I'm
like, just go die, what are you doing? It's probably why don't
you hop with? Why don't you hop around? Is grossing me out.
I wish you were dead. It's a rat. I know. It's just
like I want to kick it. I just can't. It's like really hard
to not kick it. Do it be the change you want to see in
the world. Just start kicking pigeons. Well that's all I got for today
for dan Or Jester and Gabby Monte Mayor. I'm Rob Fogg. Please like
and subscribe on iTunes and subscribe to our patreon for us. Don't do anything
Gabby tells you to do. Oh Gabby, I told them to subscribe to
your Patreon picture. Don't do anything Gab pitch you ship real quick. Just
just follow me on Instagram at gab Monte. I got stand up shows in
Austin. All that's happening. If summer tour to random places going to I'm
going to a bunch of wineries in small towns this summer. You stand should
go to like the most rustic, shitty towns. I yes, North Dakota
is on the list, so it will. I'll go to your city probably
that's if you've heard of it. That's probably not on the list. Yeah,
it's gonna be like wineries and like bump, fuck nowhere, But I
don't think there's wineries in North Dakota. They drink wine, they drink they
drink fruit wine. Yeah, but there's there's like places to go in Missouri
they do do fruit wine, though Michigan has like drink blueberry one in Michigan
like ciders. Yeah, follow me follow what is it again? Gab Monte
gabmin on Instagram her she's got stand up stuff on there and obviously soft coore
history Patreon. Thanks Audible, yeah again for your damn regesher and Gabby Montemay
or not. Jake Goldman, I'm rob you just gotta saucyrup