Andlogy such Cancel, So High, Ecstasy, Sage, cancerge hoa, not
Sorry, andlogy what's up? Positive bitches? How are we doing today?
If you're hearing this episode, you were meant to be here, So keep
listening on that Bitch's Positive Podcast. Sometimes we will laugh. Other times,
Baby Girl, we're gonna cry, but we will always walk away feeling our
most empowered positive bitch self. That is Babe in true connection with herself.
On this podcast, we unbecome who we are not so we can fully step
into exactly who we came here to be. Today we are talking about,
oh, you know, a mid life crisis, a quarter life crisis,
anytime your life crisis where you realize, oh, I don't know who I
am. I am in this really weird stage in my life where I'm not
who I used to be, but I'm also not yet who I wish to
become. I am dangling in the middle of the unknown. And I know
we all fear the unknown, but there is nothing nothing to fear about the
unknown. And that's what we're going to talk about today, how to find
yourself again while you're doing the tango in the unknown. I'm going to give
you five exact steps that I've used to get out of the unknown and back
on my pedestal. I'm going to walk you through the mindset shifts, the
energetic shifts, the behavioral shifts you need to make so you can find yourself
again or maybe find a new version of yourself that you did not even know
existed. Could you imagine that there are so many different parts of you and
all of them deserve to be discovered, seen and realized. So if you're
going through an ego death right now, AKA you're feeling like you don't know
who you are, you're losing the identity of who you've been, you have
come to the perfect episode for you. Now. Before I give you all
my dazzling secrets, a couple of announcements. If you're not yet following me
on Instagram at vibin Witcci, be sure to follow me there and at that
Bitch is Positive. All the links will be in the show notes below.
I am going to announce it here first, but all of my packages,
all of my coaching will be going on sale the first day of Thanksgiving week
all the way through Black Friday. Okay, I don't have any sales throughout
the year. And for Black Friday, ninety percent of all the offerings I
have go on sale. So if you've been wanting to do coaching, if
you've been wanting to do the work, if you've been wanting to work with
me, you can dm me now to find out more information about the pricing
for one on one coaching and all the different packages. I have a plethora
of different coaching options for you and offerings anything from self concept tune up where
we shift your identity to divine feminine healing, and activation attachment system healing.
That's a lot of nervous system work. If you have anxiety and relationships,
if you're wanting to level up but don't know how, if you want to
have that glow up of your life, dm me now for more information.
And my twelve week program, my Magnetic Mastery program will also be on sale.
So this is the only time of the year that these programs go on
sale. If you want to work with me, if you want to work
on yourself, find out more. Okay, without further ado, let's get
into today's podcast episode because we have so much to talk about. I do
think it's worth mentioning a little disclaimer. You are going to shift through so
many different identities while you're on planet Earth. You're not meant to be a
solid rock, one identity forever. We are energy and energy. Its natural
state is movement. You're going to move in and out of identities, in
and out of feelings and emotions, in and out of thoughts and ideas.
You're going to shift over time. Your opinions are going to change. Your
values are going to change, your thought processes. Your organization even is going
to change. How you live is going to change. Your likes and your
dislikes are going to change. That's oh okay. We're allowed to wake up
today and decide to be someone new. You were allowed to wake up tomorrow
and decide, actually, I want to be someone even different. I think
we're so caught up in cancel culture sometimes that we think, Okay, I
have to be this, and I can't change my mind and I can't speak
about what I want to speak about because I'll be canceled. No, the
only person who can cancel you is you. You are going to move through
so many different identities naturally, It's what we do as humans. You didn't
come here to be one stagnant thing and never change your mind. You came
here to live, to learn, develop and grow, and it's a natural
byproduct of growing and evolving is that you're going to change. If you never
changed your mind about anything, that would be concerning, because that means you're
not learning and you're not sculpting yourself in accordance to what you're learning. If
you have been told that you have to be the nice girl, or you
have to be the class clown, or whatever it may be, I want
you to take a second rine here, to take a deep breath in through
your nose and ex heal through your mouth, and just say, I give
my self permission to be whoever it is I want to be. I give
my self permission to show up as I truly am. I give myself permission
to change as I wish. This is my life. I will create the
rules that I want to create for my life. I can choose my identity,
and so I will. You have the power to cultivate the person you
want to be. You have in endless amounts of different traits within yourself that
you can turn on and you can turn off. We are born thinking,
oh I'm either this way or that way. Sure, we have a certain
nature about ourselves. But we have a spectrum of different talents and traits and
aspects of ourselves that we can turn on and turn off as we go through
life. Most of us make these key decisions when we're one, two,
three, four, five, sixty seven about who we have to be in
order to get love and affection from our parents. And then we think,
well, this is just the identity I am wrong, wrong, false,
fake news. That's who you thought you had to be. That's who you
decided to be because you thought you had to do that in order to get
love. That's not who you actually are. It's a role you decided at
age seven, and you've never stepped out of that role, and now you've
manifested a life based on that role. But that's not who you actually are.
That's the role you decided you had to be in order to get love.
And there's a difference. There's a difference. So if you're feeling lost,
yeah, there's a reason for that. It's because maybe you've never actually
been found. Your role is just so outdated that you can't stand it anymore.
The role you created is so uncomfortable because it's so far from who you
tan. We are that your inner being is flipping out. A lot of
us aren't necessarily having an identity crisis because we're losing who we truly are.
It's because we're trying to find who we truly are, because we've not found
it thus yet, and the role we thought we had to be it's not
gonna work forever. When are we most likely to go through an ego death
a death of who we think we are? Anytime we go through a transition,
really, we get fired from a job, we have to make ends
meet in a new way, we go off to college, we graduate eighth
grade, we go to a new school. Any time we change our environment
or we're embarking on this new season of our life. A lot of us
go through this ego death because all of those external triggers that reminded us of
who we are at our freshman teachers, hallways, friends, those things are
no longer there. So if all of the triggers that remind us who we
are are no longer there, we begin to do this really human thing where
we start to question. We start to question who am I without those external
triggers? Who am I without those friends or that school, or that career
or that hobby or that sport. Who am I without that thing? A
lot of athletes, if any of them get injured or they just don't get
renewed with their contract, they go through this ego death because they've been known
this whole entire time for being this athlete. Now that they don't have that
attached to their name, they don't know who they are anymore. So think
about your own life and maybe you're going through an ego death right now,
or maybe you're just wanting to have a glow up of your identity. You're
wanting to shift your self concept. Either way, when we're w wanting to
either land on an identity or create a new one, we have to let
ego death happen. We have to let the old version of ourselves rest in
peace, because that new version, that new life that we want, it's
gonna cost us our old one. If we want a new life, we
have to transition how we're thinking, how we're feeling, how we're being,
how we're behaving, our hobbies, our actions, our intentions, everything.
So, if you're going through an ego death right now, what are five
steps you can take to find yourself again? Maybe find an even better version
of you, or if you're wanting to shift who you are, how can
you do that? Step one, you need to let yourself be lost.
I know it feels itchy. It feels like you are in this itchy,
sticky sweater and you just want to rip this sweater off, and it's driving
you crazy because it is so uncomfortable not to know. You know who wants
to know? It's your ego. The reason it's hard to find ourselves again
is because our ego craves familiarity. So it's gonna keep trying to go back
to the same friend group who is so mean to us, to the same
school, to the same activities, to the same bad behaviors. Our egos
always gonna try to go back to what it knows because that's where it feels
safe. Let's say you have a relationship and you break up and now you're
having this ego death. What is your ego gonna tell you. It's gonna
tell you to end this pain, just get back with that person. That
person might be abusive, they might be terrible for you, but your ego
thinks it rather be in a dangerous situation that it can predict than a healthy,
safe situation that it cannot predict because your ego is obsessed with human survival.
So a lot of the time we're trying to figure out things so fast.
We're trying to figure out who am I, what should I do?
That's your ego trying to rush you when your spirit needs to slow down.
There's a reason you don't have all the dots connected just yet. Your spirits,
the energies, are still downloading. Everything manifests and downloads spiritually and energetically
first before it can physically manifest. Before we have that billion dollar business,
we have the billion dollar business idea, before we manifest a new invention.
We're thinking of the new invention before something is physically on planet Earth. It's
first in energy, then it becomes an idea, then it becomes a physical
thing. In this world. We are going to feel like there is pressure
on us. We're gonna feel like there's a timer on us. Let it
go, because what you need right now isn't to figure out all the answers.
You need time. If no one has told you, let me tell
you. It's okay to feel lost. It's okay to feel like you don't
know who you are. It's okay to be in the inn between. It's
okay to not have all of the answers. Your body needs to spiritually energetically
become grounded before you download everything and have it come physically in your reality.
When I was feeling especially lost going through my own quarter life crisis, I
sat down and I did what I always do when I'm feeling lost. I
called on my spirit guides and I said, guys, what's what's the tea?
What's going on? And this is what they told me about being lost,
this is what I channeled. I tell you to not even just hear
me, but really listen to what I'm saying. Close your eyes if you
can. You're not lost. You're just ready for the next big thing.
And there's a difference. You're not lost. Your soul is just evolving.
You're not lost. Your vibration is changing and wanting differently. You're not lost.
You're growing. You're not lost. You're discovering new parts of yourself.
You're not lost. You're realizing the old is no longer in vibrational alignment with
you. You're not lost, but being found. Right now, your energy
is changing in ways you probably don't even know about. The universe is rearranging
your world in ways you don't even know about. If you've ever seen in
a captain's room a boat's radar, a boat's radar will scan fifty feet one
hundred feet two hundred feet around the boat to make sure that the boat's not
going to hit into anything. The universe works the same way. The universe
has a radar, and even if something isn't on our radar, even if
we can't see something directly in our point of view like we are the captain,
the captain can't see everything around the boat in every single direction. We
can't see everything in our own life and around our own life in every single
direction. We have a radar, though. Just like a boat has a
radar, the universe is our radar, and this universe is looking for all
possible opportunities for you. It's always scanning, it's always scanning, it's always
rearranging to be in virational alignment with you. Just because you don't understand what's
going on right now, just because you can't see how everything's going to unfold,
doesn't mean it's not on the universe's radar. The universe has an understanding
that is beyond yours because we are stuck with this limited, limited mind.
The universe has this huge radar that has so much more information. So just
because you don't know who you are right now, you don't know why everything's
happening, doesn't mean the universe is in the dark. No, it's on
the universe's radar, even if it's not on yours. So the first step
of finding yourself again is actually relaxing into letting yourself be lost, letting yourself
question, wonder, think, feel, lean into it. Why because the
universe is rearranging things for you, because your body is downloading your new vibrational
energy. And just because you don't know that yet doesn't mean it's not happening.
It means it's outside your conscious awareness. Let's get to step two.
Step two to finding yourself again or cultivating a new concept to self concept is
experimenting with new ways of being. If you don't want to exist in your
current form, you have to engage with new ways of being, opening up
your mind and saying hmm, it's literally the definition of insanity for me to
keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. If I want a different
result, if I want a different reality, if I want a different identity,
I have to start doing new things. Your personal reality becomes your personality.
What should you be experimenting with? Is the question? I would like
to extend this question to you. What would you do every day if money
and time didn't matter. That's the thing you need to start doing or continuously
doing, but daily. What would you do if time didn't matter, if
money didn't matter? Would you create videos? Would you write a book?
Would you garden? What would you do? And you need to start doing
this every day because I truly believe that your passions, what you love to
do, that's tightly, tightly wound up with your purpose. If you want
to find out with your what your purpose is, if you want to find
out who you are, you gotta start doing things that make you feel like
you, that make you feel good. And maybe right now you're saying CC,
well, I don't know what feels like me. That's okay, But
you do know what feels good, and you do know it doesn't feel good,
so simply follow your bliss. Another way to find out what should I
be experimenting with? Is think about what did I love to do when I
was younger? Again, time and money didn't matter. What did I love
to do? Did I love to ride horses? Did I love gymnastics?
Did I love dance? And start doing those things again. So many of
us have just lost touch with our authentic frequency because we've had to join the
corporate world. We've been in college. We're so seduced by the three D
world. We've forgotten us, We've forgotten ourselves. Get back in touch with
what you used to like to do. I would also love if you could
experiment with things that you think you might like to do. When I went
through a breakup, I had literally no identity besides being that of a girlfriend.
So when I went through a breakup, I now had all this time.
I had no identity, and I had no idea what to do with
myself. So I asked myself, well, what did I used to love
to do. I used to make so much content on iMovie when I was
little. So I got on TikTok. I started to make content again.
I started to have fun with different mediums. I also asked myself, what
do I think I might like to do? And that was yoga. And
now I found a new passion of yoga, and I found my purpose through
TikTok. That led me to becoming a certified life coach, which led to
me starting a podcast, which led to me growing my following, which led
to me getting this book deal. It leads to things. That's why I'm
saying, even if something isn't on your radar, it doesn't mean it's not
on the univers's radar. Just because you're the captain on the boat and you
can't see that iceberg that's fifty feet to the left of you doesn't mean it's
not there. It's just not on your radar, but the ship's radar will
definitely catch that. I didn't understand why I needed to lose my older identity,
but through experimenting with myself, I found a new way of being.
I found my purpose. I found my career, I found my mission.
I found a better relationship with the same person. So how can you start
trying new things? Can you sign up for a new class? Can you
join a book club? Something I started to do was read, simply read.
I read new forms of content, self help books. I read so
much of them of a huge stack in my room. Now I thought I
hated reading. Turns out I just hated the material. I was reading,
but I love to read, So we have to experiment with new ways of
being, try new things that maybe will like. I also tried pottery.
Turns out I do not like pottery. Not a fan. Not a fan,
But I never would have known that if I didn't try it, I
never would have become this yogi. If I didn't try it. You owe
it to yourself to take healthy risks and go out there and do the things
you used to love to do, and try new things that you've never tried
before. Think about your favorite foods. You would never have known you loved
that food if you never tried it. We have to experiment with new ways
of being, hanging out with new people. When I was going through this
identity shift, I reached out to people and they reached out to me.
People I wasn't really hanging out with in high school. People I didn't really
know, but I knew. Okay. If I want to make new friendships
as this new self, I have to start hanging out with different people.
I need to experiment with different energies. Another thing I want to do,
which is still part of number two, is change up your environment. Like
I said before, when someone goes from home to college, or to a
new school. New environments, even just a vacation can trigger new energetic parts
of yourself. Our environments, the environments we know that we exist within daily,
have all these little triggers that retrigger us into our old way of being.
Our environments, our teachers, our parents, our siblings, they all
have certain triggers that trigger us into reremembering who we used to be. If
we want to be a new person, just changing up your environment can help
you find yourself and shift who you've been. Going to this local harbor that
I go to all the time, that was a new environment I never went
to prior. In this new environment, it allowed me to activate different parts
of myself. I would go there to journal, things I would never do
before. I would go there to meditate, something I would never do before.
I would go there to just talk to my angels. I would go
there to take a walk, all these things I wasn't doing before, and
it allowed me space to step into a new identity. It gave me room
to be someone else, to be someone new. So if you can try
eating in a new environment, or going to a new library, a new
park, a new trail, a new restaurant, a new bar, even,
just try to shift up your environment so those old triggers won't trigger you
back into older ways of being. The third thing that you can do to
find yourself is ask your future self or your angels, what do I need
to know right now? You can ask your future self questions any time of
the day. Your future self exists just like your past self exists, because
all time exists equally in the quantum field. If you're not sure how to
get to the next level or activate your next version of yourself, take five
to ten minutes, close your eyes and say, futu yourself, what do
I need to know right now in order to activate this next phase in my
life? What do I need to do right now to get into contact with
the next version of myself? Give me all of the details. Just ask
your future self and don't be so conclusive of how this is going to come
through. It might come through as a song lyric, or an image or
a metaphor, or just straight up information, but just be open minded to
how the will come through. You can also ask your spirit guides, spirit
guides of highest vibration, healing, spirit guides, what can I do to
ease my anxiety right now? What can I do to feel more comfortable in
my own skin right now? I recommend putting on a calming frequency and doing
this in nature for the best results. I also recommend keeping a notebook handy
by you so that you can jot down the information if you want more details
on how to contact your spirit guides. I have many episodes. They're all
always in October. That's usually when we talk about spirit guides. For more
information on that, just go through the podcast number four, Get Comfortable with
the Uncomfortable. This brings us back to your ego. Your ego, like
I said before, is going to try to pull you back to that relationship
that's not healthy for you, that friend group that's not healthy for you.
The binging is going to try to bring you back there, not because it's
good for you, but because that is what's familiar to your ego. That
is what is familiar to it. You're going to feel a little stressed during
this season. But here's the thing. Our body is going to produce cortisol
adrenaline either way, whether it's excitement or nervousness or stress. So if our
body and our minds can't really tell the difference between what's stress and what's anxiety
and what's excitement, you can decide what it's going to be for you.
What I mean by this is, instead of every time you go on an
interview or first date, instead of telling yourself, oh, this feeling is
anxiety, start telling yourself this feeling is excitement. Because we actually don't know
because it feels the same, we're just labeling it. We're guessing if you're
gonna lie to yourself, lying a way that actually is conducive to your desires.
While you're taking healthy risks during this season and you're making changes in your
life, you're gonna be faced with uncomfortable situations that your ego is not gonna
like because it's gonna say I've never done this before, I want to go
back. If we know that, instead of seeing this uncomfortable feeling as a
red light to stop, I want you to see it as a green light
to keep going again healthy risk. I want you to see this feeling of
I've never done this before, or oh, I'm feeling all weird about it
as a green light to keep going. During this season, if you can
do one new thing every single week, oh, you'll be off to the
races. Put yourself in a position to win. Ask a friend at yoga
who maybe isn't a friend just yet, but someone you would like to be
friends with. Hey, would you ever want to get green juices after or
lunch or just start up a conversation with them? Go out to a new
trail, to a new nature walk, read a new book, listen to
a new podcast, try to do something you've been wanting to make that Etsy
store. Take healthy risk. And when that feeling comes of this is uncomfortable.
I don't want to do this. See it as a green light.
See it as a green light to keep going. Most of us, when
we get this feeling, we're like, no, no, no, no,
I have to stop. This is too uncomfortable. I'm done, and
we stop, and then we miss the blessing. See it as a green
light and keep going. Get used to the uncomfortability, I promise you.
At first, I used to hate this feeling, and now I get so
bored without it. I'm like, oh, there's nothing new in my life.
I feel stagnant. At the end of the day. If we're not
growing, we're dying. So choose your avatar and get going. The fifth
thing you can do to find yourself during this identity crisis ego death. This
is twofold. It's say guess more and change your language. What do I
mean by this? If you want to become someone new, you have to
answer like someone else. I would always catch myself saying no to my friends
asking me to get dinner, to go out, because that's just what my
old self would do. She would rather stay in with her boyfriend, and
she would rather just be in her pajamas or her sweats, and she just
wanted to be like a bear in hibernation. But I knew that if I
wanted to become someone new, I couldn't keep answering like my old self.
So I had to start saying yes more. Now. I know there is
this whole notion of if it's not a hell yes, it's a hell no.
But when you're trying to become a new person, your hell knows,
sometimes you have to override and make them hell yeses because you don't know how
your new version of yourself would answer yet, because you're not them yet.
See what I'm saying, Feel what I'm putting down here instead of me jumping
to my old self's answer and just saying no, I don't want to go
out. No, you know, I'm fine. I'm fine. I said,
what would my future self say? What would the best version of me
say? She would say yes, she would just go and see what happens,
because she knows if she doesn't like it, she can leave. Uber
exists pretty much everywhere. Say yes more, Say yes more. If you're
in a season that you know who you are, maybe then you don't need
to say yes more. If you're trying to find who you are. The
reason I advise you to say yes more is because it opens up more opportunity,
and right now you need opportunity to discover who you are. And one
of the best ways to discover who you are is putting yourself in new situations
with new people, in new environments. That's going to allow you to exist
in new ways, engage in new ways, answer in new ways. So
forget if it's not a hell yes and it's a hell no, and just
say yes more for this season because right now you don't know what your hell
yes is and you don't know what your hell no is because you don't know
who you are right now. So instead of being so locked down, and
this is my hell no, this is my hell yes, experiment, this
is experimental season, this is stranger things, but it's your life. Okay,
we are in that lab. We're cooking something up. Say yes more.
In order to fully bloom into this new version of you, you can't
just be interested. You have to be one hundred percent committed. This means
it's going to be uncomfortable sometimes. But you're not working based on emotion right
now. You're working based on what you value and what you value because you're
a strong person. What you value is finding yourself. What you value is
getting ground. What you value is creating a good life that feels good to
you. Maybe you need to sit down and write a list of five to
ten things that you do value to help yourself understand what your new north star
is. When you're trying to cultivate a new self, your emotions are going
to be all over the place, and emotions are very fleeting, and emotions
are not facts. Feelings are not facts or feelings. They're here and then
they go, they oxidize, they change over. They're all over the place.
So we need to call on our angels and our guides and our future
self to help us. But we also need to prioritize what do I value
right now over my emotions, because a lot of our emotions have more to
do with our past self than they have to do with where we want to
go. When you're becoming this new person, not only do I want you
saying yes more so you can engage with new opportunity. I need you to
be one hundred percent committed to becoming this new version of you based on whatever
you value. Your values won't be the same as mine. They're not supposed
to do with different people. But for example, when I was becoming a
new person, I said, Okay, I don't know anything about me and
I don't know how to cultivate a self, but I do know what I
value. I value health, I value taking care of myself. I value
creating a financial foundation for myself. I value creativity, I value friends,
and I value family. How can I move in ways and say yes to
things that allow me to fill my cup in accordance to these values? And
that's where I'm going to go. Because I don't really know how I feel
about all these different things just yet, but I know I value them.
I don't know exactly how I want my life to look. But your values
can be cornerstones for you to follow and for you to create an outline your
life. On top of saying yes more, on top of clarifying what you
value and building your life from that, on top of making a commitment to
this self, I want you to focus on your language and only claim what
it is you want to be true about your life. No more claiming things
about your old self. I know that we think that self deprecating humor is
the funniest thing, and it is funny sometimes, but I would never use
it on myself. If someone else wants to use that humor on themselves and
it's funny, I'll chuckle, but I'll also say, don't talk bad about
yourself. It's not good because your subconscious mind hears you everything you say,
whether it's a joke or not, your subconscious mind hears you, and it
thinks you're being one hundred percent for real. So if you don't want it
to manifest in your reality, or if you want it to stop being a
part of your identity, stop joking about it, stop claiming it, stop
talking about it. Let it go. Whether I'm joking or being serious or
in any other silly mood. I never say anything negative ever, ever,
ever, No, no, won't do it because my subconscious mind hears that,
receives it, and then manifests it for me, and I don't want
that life. Whatever traits you don't like about yourself, stop claiming them.
Stop claiming them. And the traits you do want to have, start claiming
them. I claim that I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm
interesting, I'm talented. I never claim anything that's negative. And whether I'm
joking and I'm saying, oh, I'm just such an icon, it doesn't
matter because that's a positive thing. But I would never joke about something negative
about myself because I don't want to see that manifesting. Even if you think
it's funny, it doesn't out of your subconscious mind doesn't get the joke.
It things. You're being serious. Watch your language again? Why? Because
you can't just be interested in this. You have to be committed to this
new version of you. It's up to you. Who do you want to
commit to? Your past self or your future self. When we live from
our past self, we repeat our past. When we live from our future
self, whoa we're psychic. Suddenly we know exactly what to do, we
know how to show up, We know who we want to be, and
we manifest from our future. We live from our future. We're psychic rather
than repeatedly manifesting be as from our past. You have so much control over
your reality, you just have to reach out and use it. Can't just
know about it. You gotta be about it. You gotta put your action
behind it. So the five steps are leaning into being lost, letting yourself
be lost, experimenting with new things, being in new environments. Three is
asking your future self or your spirit guides. Four is getting comfortable with the
uncomfortable, seeing it as a green light. And five is saying yes to
more and changing your language, being committed to yourself, not just interested,
and only claiming what it is you want to be true about your reality.
As always a sparkle in me. Honors of sparkling you. Thank you so
much for joining me here today. I'm sending you so much love. If
you enjoy this podcast, please post it on social media and be sure to
tag me so I can repost it. If you have suggestions for this podcast,
you can dm me on Instagram at vibe cc and at that bitch is
positive. And of course if you love the episode, if you could leave
a positive review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, it helps the podcast grow and
it means a world to me. If not for me, do it for
you because good karma and I will see you in the next one. Na
tak At Energy say you can't say how came how came adategy? No,
we can strange a cant sasprat. You can sers frat