WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:03.399 The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are solely those of the hosts 2 00:00:03.399 --> 00:00:06.639 and their guests, and not those of W four WN Radio It's employees or 3 00:00:06.679 --> 00:00:10.919 affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services, 4 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:14.839 or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability, explicit or 5 00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:19.120 implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any 6 00:00:19.199 --> 00:00:22.399 questions or common should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing 7 00:00:22.480 --> 00:00:45.640 W four WN Radio. Hello, and welcome to Fearless Fabulous. You. 8 00:00:45.880 --> 00:00:50.200 I am your host Melanie Young, and I am hopefully you're enjoying today as 9 00:00:50.359 --> 00:00:56.159 Juneteenth, celebrating the freedom of African Americans in our country. Fun fact about 10 00:00:56.240 --> 00:01:03.759 Juneteenth, which originated in Texas and it was basically when slavery was finally abolish. 11 00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:07.120 It was abolished with the Emancipati Proclamation, but people had to go to 12 00:01:07.239 --> 00:01:11.959 Texas to let people there know that it was officially abolish and African Americans were 13 00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:15.560 free. Apparently, the cover of red is a big deal. Eating the 14 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:23.480 color red signifies the strength and the suffering and the rising up, and so 15 00:01:23.560 --> 00:01:29.000 I hope you're having a big slice of watermelon hibiscus tea, or some red 16 00:01:29.079 --> 00:01:34.159 velvet cake, or we had some strawberry smoothie this morning to celebrate Juneteenth. 17 00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:40.280 Anyway, we're going to talk about a topic that it is important to all 18 00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:47.359 of us. It's and it came even more important in a note in the 19 00:01:47.359 --> 00:01:52.599 news this week because doctor VIVEC. Murphy, the Surgeon General of the United 20 00:01:52.599 --> 00:01:56.120 States of America, wrote an out of the New York Times and said that 21 00:01:56.159 --> 00:02:00.200 he feels that there should be warning labels on social media apps because of the 22 00:02:00.359 --> 00:02:07.400 risk to mental health among the young people in our nation and the world. 23 00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:12.759 And David and I, my husband and I were having to talk about the 24 00:02:12.800 --> 00:02:15.599 impact of social media on people's health, not only young people, but elderly 25 00:02:15.639 --> 00:02:21.240 people and adults, and how all of us are spending way too much time 26 00:02:21.400 --> 00:02:25.479 on social media and it's impacting our ability to communicate in person, our communication 27 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:30.800 skills, our confidence, and many other things that we're going to dress and 28 00:02:30.840 --> 00:02:32.639 of course then after that and we both agree we should be spending less time 29 00:02:32.680 --> 00:02:37.240 on it. We were at dinner, having a nice dinner here in New 30 00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:42.319 Orleans, and he pulls out his phone and starts scrolling, and I said, 31 00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:46.960 David, didn't we just have a conversation driving over here about tuning off 32 00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:51.759 and putting down the phones when we're eating and doing things together so that we 33 00:02:51.800 --> 00:02:54.800 can have more meaningful conversation and being the president rather than distracted than looking at 34 00:02:54.840 --> 00:02:58.520 your phone. He put the phone down. But it just just shows to 35 00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:05.879 show that it's addictive. It is addictive behavior. So there's a lot of 36 00:03:05.879 --> 00:03:09.000 things that are addictive behavior. And I will go on the record to say 37 00:03:09.000 --> 00:03:20.319 that I support doctor Murphy's feeling and belief and hopefully his initiative to get warning 38 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:23.599 labels on social media apps. I mean, we have warning labels on cigarettes, 39 00:03:23.639 --> 00:03:27.319 they're addictive. We have warning labels on alcohol, they're addictive. We 40 00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:36.319 have warning labels on gaming and gambling games and whatnot. Those are addictive. 41 00:03:37.639 --> 00:03:45.159 Apparently social media is addictive for many people, and there's some statistics that are 42 00:03:45.199 --> 00:03:50.840 supporting this, and they're scary, scary, scary. So first of all, 43 00:03:50.840 --> 00:03:53.120 we'll start with young people, but then we're going to talk about old 44 00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:54.639 people, and we're also going to talk about the benefits of social media. 45 00:03:54.680 --> 00:04:00.280 I'm not going to demonize social media completely because it does have some INCREDI double 46 00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:02.599 benefits, which I'm going to talk about. But like everything, whether it's 47 00:04:02.639 --> 00:04:08.800 food or drink, everything has to be done in moderation, including your social 48 00:04:08.919 --> 00:04:13.639 media use right and listen. I'm the first to say, mayakopa, I'm 49 00:04:13.680 --> 00:04:16.399 on too much as well, but it can erode your confidence, it can 50 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:21.920 erode relationships, and it can create unhealthy behavior. And that's what the issue 51 00:04:21.959 --> 00:04:28.519 is. So a couple of things. In February twenty twenty three, one 52 00:04:28.560 --> 00:04:31.319 third of all adult Internet users in United States said the social media had either 53 00:04:31.480 --> 00:04:36.480 somewhat negative or very negative effect on their mental health. Generation ACTS, those 54 00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:41.800 born between nineteen sixty five and nineteen eighty were the most likely generation to state 55 00:04:41.800 --> 00:04:46.959 that their mental health had been negatively affected by online platforms. Video based app 56 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:53.079 TikTok is known for entertaining audiences for prolonged amounts of time, but the app 57 00:04:53.279 --> 00:04:58.680 does not always make users feel good nor aware of how much time they are 58 00:04:58.759 --> 00:05:01.480 spending on the service. Is of May twenty twenty three, three quarters of 59 00:05:01.519 --> 00:05:06.800 TikTok users in the United States felt the app was addictive, while twenty seven 60 00:05:06.839 --> 00:05:13.680 percent said they've had felt negative mental health effects after using TikTok. And this 61 00:05:13.720 --> 00:05:19.079 is from Statista, a site that I look up for, you know, 62 00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:26.720 evidence space, not special interest space statistics. This report was from March nineteenth, 63 00:05:26.920 --> 00:05:31.279 twenty twenty four. Basically, according to a survey conducted in March twenty 64 00:05:31.279 --> 00:05:35.680 twenty four, thirty five percent of adults reported they had taken an extended break 65 00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:42.720 from social media because it was harming their mental health. And I think that 66 00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:45.800 that's a good thing. As I say, is it too much of a 67 00:05:45.839 --> 00:05:51.399 good thing? Well, further statistics say that is of early twenty twenty three, 68 00:05:51.560 --> 00:05:56.879 fifty five percent of adults in the country said they were concerned about social 69 00:05:56.959 --> 00:06:00.199 media's impact on the mental health of children. Moreover one third felt that social 70 00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:08.680 media was responsible for the increased in depression among America's teens. Okay, we're 71 00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:13.839 also seeing, you know, that US teens use social media for much more 72 00:06:13.879 --> 00:06:17.360 than just connecting and socializing, with twenty five percent saying it helps them learn. 73 00:06:18.120 --> 00:06:24.399 So there is a positive element to this as well. However, forty 74 00:06:24.439 --> 00:06:28.519 one percent of teens with the highest social media use who who rate their overall 75 00:06:28.519 --> 00:06:32.399 mental health is poor very poor, It's forty one percent. So forty percent 76 00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:38.720 of teens who have the highest use of social media are depressed. On average, 77 00:06:38.720 --> 00:06:44.759 they're spending four point eight hours a day using seven popular social media sites, 78 00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:48.639 YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram, representing eighty percent of their social media. 79 00:06:49.439 --> 00:06:54.439 Thirty seven percent of teens say they spend five or more hours a day 80 00:06:54.759 --> 00:07:03.519 on social media. Okay, that's like crazy. So we are all getting 81 00:07:03.560 --> 00:07:10.759 a little too addictive on social media. Now, before we get into all 82 00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:14.279 negative, I'm going to talk about the positive of social media. So social 83 00:07:14.319 --> 00:07:18.639 media was started as a social network to connect people. And well, actually, 84 00:07:18.680 --> 00:07:23.720 if you read you know they were rating women at Harvard, which is 85 00:07:23.720 --> 00:07:26.639 the original way to rate women, which is not good. But it became 86 00:07:26.680 --> 00:07:31.920 a powerful way to connect people who were not together. That's good. But 87 00:07:32.360 --> 00:07:40.480 now it has become a marketing tool, an entertainment tool, a predators tool, 88 00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:46.079 and just a lot of stuff and nonsense, much like all the crap, 89 00:07:46.199 --> 00:07:49.439 and I mean crap coming into my feed every morning when I open up 90 00:07:49.439 --> 00:08:01.079 my computer. I mean I get more paid content targeted crap feed listicles in 91 00:08:01.079 --> 00:08:05.399 my computer every day based on what I happen to be researching that morning or 92 00:08:05.399 --> 00:08:09.319 the night before. And you know, you can tell it's targeted because it 93 00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:13.680 relates to whatever I was searching about the night before or the week before. 94 00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:18.120 And it's just all too much, and we're getting all too much lost in 95 00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:22.879 our phones and our computers. Okay, computers are great. We need them 96 00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:26.639 for work, we need them to learn, we need them to be creative, 97 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:33.000 and our phones are important tools for connection. But we have to learn 98 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:37.240 to draw the line when we're doing too much of a good thing and we're 99 00:08:37.559 --> 00:08:41.240 not using it for all the right reasons. So I'm going to start with 100 00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:45.320 that. Then I'm going to give you twenty reasons to turn off the phone 101 00:08:45.559 --> 00:08:50.559 and what you could be doing with all those four point five hours here's pending. 102 00:08:50.480 --> 00:08:54.720 So you should you should like a food diary. Remember everybody says I 103 00:08:54.759 --> 00:08:56.440 want to lose weight, I need to lose weight, and you go talk 104 00:08:56.480 --> 00:08:58.919 to a health coach. And the first thing the health coach does, besides 105 00:09:00.039 --> 00:09:05.080 taking a health assessment and a food intake assessments, they say, keep a 106 00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:09.080 food diary. Write down what you're eating to see if you're doing unnecessary snacking, 107 00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:11.480 if you're overeating, how do you feel when you eat or are you 108 00:09:11.559 --> 00:09:18.080 emotional eating? Okay, do that with social media log, how much time 109 00:09:18.360 --> 00:09:26.559 you're spending on social media, and how you're feeling when you're on your phone. 110 00:09:26.039 --> 00:09:31.559 Now, I'm going to differentiate social media from being on your computer working 111 00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:35.759 or checking the weather or reading the newspaper, because a lot of us, 112 00:09:35.799 --> 00:09:41.360 including me, read their newspaper online, check the weather online, I check 113 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:46.320 my emails for work, et cetera. The difference is what we're talking about 114 00:09:46.399 --> 00:09:54.679 is social media Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, Pinterest, blah blah 115 00:09:54.679 --> 00:09:58.600 blah. That's what we're talking about social media. We're not talking about newspapers 116 00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:01.879 and media outlets and stuff like that. Let's just keep that over there, 117 00:10:01.159 --> 00:10:05.799 you know, whole other conversation, but it will go into how much time 118 00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:13.320 you're spending on your phone. So the best us is for social media checking 119 00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:18.240 in on friends and family, wishing them happy birthday, making sure they're okay, 120 00:10:18.559 --> 00:10:22.080 letting people know they're thinking about you. That's a good thing. I 121 00:10:22.200 --> 00:10:26.759 tend to before I pick up the phone and call someone or interview anybody for 122 00:10:26.840 --> 00:10:30.159 this show or my other show that connect a Table or anything, I usually 123 00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:33.799 check social media to make sure they're okay. I know what's up in their 124 00:10:33.799 --> 00:10:37.399 life. Maybe they published an article they've written. You just want to make 125 00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:41.480 sure everything's okay, so you don't just suddenly call somebody up and go, 126 00:10:41.559 --> 00:10:45.360 hey, how are things and they just announced they you know, a family 127 00:10:45.399 --> 00:10:48.960 member died, right, So I do that just to kind of make sure 128 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:54.279 I'm up with their news before I go on share my news. So checking 129 00:10:54.320 --> 00:10:58.080 in a friends and family that's okay. You don't have to do that publicly. 130 00:10:58.159 --> 00:11:01.960 You can create a friends and family list. Checking the news, the 131 00:11:01.080 --> 00:11:07.039 time, the weather, the stock market, current affairs, things that impact 132 00:11:07.080 --> 00:11:11.720 your day to day life because you need to know because the information is useful 133 00:11:11.720 --> 00:11:15.080 and helpful and beneficial. Like I need to check the weather to make sure 134 00:11:15.080 --> 00:11:16.919 there's not a hurricane coming so I know how to dress for the day, 135 00:11:18.279 --> 00:11:20.639 right, that makes sense. And living in New Orleans, you check the 136 00:11:20.639 --> 00:11:24.200 weather a lot. I read the news. I make sure I'm just up 137 00:11:24.200 --> 00:11:28.200 on things, not incessantly, but I read the paper in the morning. 138 00:11:28.639 --> 00:11:35.000 I do check my breaking news, and you know, I'll check to see 139 00:11:35.039 --> 00:11:39.960 how certain other areas of the country where family are, I'll check their weather. 140 00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:46.679 Okay, that's all okay. Promoting your business marketing and using social media 141 00:11:46.720 --> 00:11:50.919 as a marketing too, For what your business is is important, it's necessary. 142 00:11:52.039 --> 00:11:54.200 Now that's a whole nother ball of wax. If you are doing that, 143 00:11:54.360 --> 00:12:00.200 I do suggest that you have a business page, a business hand, 144 00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:03.200 and a business ID. So you're not just loading all your friends who really 145 00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:07.919 probably don't care about your business. You're not loading all your business talk onto 146 00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:11.320 them. Have a business page, set it up, make sure you know 147 00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:15.320 it's a business, made to admit it is. Make people aware. If 148 00:12:15.320 --> 00:12:18.679 you're doing paid posts, you can make a lot of money on social media 149 00:12:18.759 --> 00:12:24.360 if you have a strategy. That's not what this show is about. This 150 00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:28.320 show is again about how to use social media effectively when it's not good for 151 00:12:28.360 --> 00:12:31.799 your health, and twenty reasons and ways to get off and do something more 152 00:12:31.799 --> 00:12:39.120 with your life. Okay, finally researching helpful information. I use social media 153 00:12:39.159 --> 00:12:46.519 to research places to go, airfares, where to dine, concert schedules, 154 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:50.000 anything that is going to be part of my day to day life, What 155 00:12:50.159 --> 00:12:54.240 events are happening. That's all important because I want to be out there and 156 00:12:54.120 --> 00:13:03.879 involved. Sometimes I'll watch a webinar on the computer to learn. I consider 157 00:13:03.960 --> 00:13:07.799 it's valuable for learning about something. How to you know. Most recently I 158 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:13.240 was trying to figure out how to clean a damage chanel handbag. That's all 159 00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:20.519 helpful, helpful information. Okay, that's helpful. I also use social media. 160 00:13:20.679 --> 00:13:24.679 I use YouTube to do my free yoga classes with Yoga by Adrian and 161 00:13:24.759 --> 00:13:31.519 Pilates. I use them to exercise and enrich and educate and entertain in positive 162 00:13:31.639 --> 00:13:37.559 ways. But this is what's not helpful or healthy. Just scrolling along passing 163 00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:41.879 the time watching videos of people eating, dancing, or doing things just to 164 00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:43.879 get your attention. Half the time, they're doing it because they want you 165 00:13:43.960 --> 00:13:48.600 to pay attention, because they're building their audience, and they are praying on 166 00:13:48.639 --> 00:13:54.279 your time to make a dime. Just remember that they're praying in your time 167 00:13:54.480 --> 00:14:00.720 to make a dime. Because if you are an influencer and you're doing this 168 00:14:00.840 --> 00:14:03.559 to make money, the more people you garner, the better you want more 169 00:14:03.600 --> 00:14:07.480 followers because you get paid by the followers. So be very aware of people 170 00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:13.399 that are doing things to capture your information for their time and dime your time 171 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:18.080 their dime. So that's like clickbait and listicles that want to capture your information. 172 00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:22.000 Silly games are questionnaires for the same reason. Like we've probably all done 173 00:14:22.039 --> 00:14:28.919 the what is your rock star name? What is your you know? What 174 00:14:28.039 --> 00:14:31.759 is your How are you going to look when you're ninety? You know? 175 00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:35.399 All the silly games, those are ways to get your information. They're also 176 00:14:35.679 --> 00:14:41.320 huge time wasters for you, and you have to think about your security. 177 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:46.519 You don't want everybody, just everybody having your information, do you. I 178 00:14:46.600 --> 00:14:54.840 don't, Okay, uh, obviously, pornography, crazy stunts, anything that 179 00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:58.519 looks predatory or dangerous, silly. Look at me, I'm doing crazy things. 180 00:14:58.679 --> 00:15:03.440 Those are They're not good. Not only should they be labeled, but 181 00:15:03.480 --> 00:15:09.519 they should be banned. Anything that is dangerous are healthy, I mean unhealthy? 182 00:15:09.879 --> 00:15:15.240 You know, I can't stand it when people post these horrible photos of 183 00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:20.879 you know, animals being abused, or just car crashes and crime scenes. 184 00:15:20.919 --> 00:15:28.360 It's just don't do it. It's it's just upsetting. I just can't even 185 00:15:28.399 --> 00:15:31.440 begin to tell you how many people do it and share this information, and 186 00:15:31.480 --> 00:15:37.039 I have to tune them all out. I actually unfollow an unfriend anyone that 187 00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:45.879 is sharing offensive, abusive, upsetting content. It's just not good. And 188 00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:50.080 the thing is a lot of people eat this shit up and they follow it. 189 00:15:50.120 --> 00:15:54.279 And again you're in, You're been baited, You've been baited. I'm 190 00:15:54.279 --> 00:15:58.919 not real big on people sharing photos of babies and children because there are predators 191 00:16:00.080 --> 00:16:03.399 out there. They know where those babies and children are. You've got to 192 00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:08.879 be really careful about that because predators will know how to find you and them, 193 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:15.000 and you're putting people's well beings at risk. Same with photographing other people's 194 00:16:15.080 --> 00:16:19.279 kids of parties. You should never put other people's kids on your fee without 195 00:16:19.279 --> 00:16:23.759 their permission. I don't even put friends photos on my feed without their permission 196 00:16:23.799 --> 00:16:27.080 because a lot of people don't like the way they look and they don't want 197 00:16:27.159 --> 00:16:30.840 to be out there being photographed. Then there are a lot of people that 198 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:33.000 just really don't want to be on social media, and you've got to respect 199 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:37.960 their privacy. Now everybody shares the enthusiasm you have or may have for social 200 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:41.879 media, they want their lives private, and I'm starting to feel that way 201 00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:47.279 about certain things. I am on it for business reasons as well, and 202 00:16:48.039 --> 00:16:51.120 I will tell you, uh, if I didn't have to do social media 203 00:16:51.159 --> 00:16:56.200 for business, I probably would be on it at all. Bingo Finally, 204 00:16:56.080 --> 00:17:03.359 super rude, super rude scrolling on phone during a performance at an event, 205 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:11.920 during a speech, during dinner with friends, a graduation ceremony, anything where 206 00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:14.960 you need to be focused on the present and the people. It's just super 207 00:17:15.039 --> 00:17:18.480 rude. And how many times has someone done that too at a meal? 208 00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:22.559 I mean how many times? I mean it happened the other night with me 209 00:17:22.640 --> 00:17:26.799 and David. He started scrolling and half the time you don't really realize you're 210 00:17:26.839 --> 00:17:33.079 doing it. It's like it's like scratching an itch or picking at a ZiT 211 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:34.480 or something. Half the time people don't know they're even doing it, or 212 00:17:34.519 --> 00:17:38.440 chewing their nails. They just start doing it, and I don't. It's 213 00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:42.559 just weird. I don't know why how we all started to get into this 214 00:17:42.599 --> 00:17:45.480 habit of just picking up the phone and scrolling all the time. But I've 215 00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:52.200 noticed it a lot, and I know that I've done it a lot, 216 00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:59.480 and I'm trying really really hard to pull back and to push back if people 217 00:17:59.519 --> 00:18:04.559 are doing it around me. It is a fact that too many people are 218 00:18:04.599 --> 00:18:10.119 comparing their lives to other people's lives on social media, and it is a 219 00:18:10.200 --> 00:18:14.440 fact that that is affecting our mental health. It is a fact that a 220 00:18:14.480 --> 00:18:21.240 lot of social media stars are dealing with mental health issues themselves, and often 221 00:18:21.279 --> 00:18:23.960 the need to get attention. Is a cry for attention because they need help. 222 00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:30.519 If I get one more news story about a TikTok star that has died 223 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:36.839 suddenly due to suicide, or their child has died or whatever, it's all 224 00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:44.119 too much and it seems like it's daily, and that's not a good thing. 225 00:18:44.839 --> 00:18:48.839 But what's really scary is that, you know, children are addicted to 226 00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:53.039 social media. Babies are learning just to point all the time now, so 227 00:18:53.279 --> 00:19:00.319 kids are pointing at everything from screens to menus to books. The books they 228 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:03.720 can just point and pages will turn and things will move, because that's what 229 00:19:03.759 --> 00:19:08.920 they're used to do. And they're losing the ability to communicate. And losing 230 00:19:08.960 --> 00:19:15.319 the ability to communicate as a human being is like losing part of your soul. 231 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:22.480 It is losing part of your soul. And even when I do this 232 00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:27.200 show, even though I don't have anybody facing me right now, I visualize 233 00:19:27.240 --> 00:19:32.559 people that I'm talking to, and I try really hard to think about people 234 00:19:33.079 --> 00:19:36.400 that I would be talking to in person about this very same subject and what 235 00:19:36.440 --> 00:19:41.599 I want to say to you, which is usually women fifty plus, we're 236 00:19:41.599 --> 00:19:45.599 probably saying, do I really need to do all the social media anywhere? 237 00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:48.839 Does it really matter. No, it really doesn't. You don't have to 238 00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:55.160 be on social media at all if you are doing it to promote a business 239 00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:57.799 or a platform, I get it. But you can also limit your time 240 00:19:57.960 --> 00:20:02.319 on that. It's not about how much you post, but how much you 241 00:20:02.440 --> 00:20:07.119 scroll. And you know everybody's going to pressure you to engage and respond everything. 242 00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:10.880 You don't have to do anything, And if you feel like you do, 243 00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:14.960 then hire somebody to do it for you and create a strategy. Do 244 00:20:15.000 --> 00:20:18.319 you really think that the President of the United States and the First Lady and 245 00:20:18.359 --> 00:20:22.279 all those people are responding to all those emails and texts and posts. No, 246 00:20:22.519 --> 00:20:26.640 they have people, an entire team who does it for them. But 247 00:20:26.720 --> 00:20:30.880 if you have kids, you need to really set a policy. You need 248 00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:37.599 to have disconnect days, disconnect hours, and limit on how much time they're 249 00:20:37.640 --> 00:20:42.079 spending on their phone scrolling they can be and you need to monitor what they're 250 00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:48.559 doing on their computer. You've got to do that because they could get tripped 251 00:20:48.640 --> 00:20:55.640 up very easily by people who are bullying them, pressuring them and making them 252 00:20:55.640 --> 00:21:03.039 feel less secure and insecureity and mental health is a terrible thing right now. 253 00:21:03.039 --> 00:21:04.759 The other thing, as I said, is you want people to learn how 254 00:21:04.759 --> 00:21:08.119 to communicate. You know, you don't get a job, well, maybe 255 00:21:08.119 --> 00:21:11.519 you do these days. That's the frustrating thing about a lot of people are 256 00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:12.799 getting jobs just because they sit in front of a computer all day and do 257 00:21:12.839 --> 00:21:18.359 nothing but algorithms and research. But I'm going to tell you, as a 258 00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:22.480 communication specialist, if you can't hold a conversation over dinner or with somebody in 259 00:21:22.559 --> 00:21:26.839 an interview, you are not going to be hired by me or a lot 260 00:21:26.839 --> 00:21:30.319 of people out there in the world. You've got to go out in the 261 00:21:30.319 --> 00:21:33.799 world to be able to communicate and have a conversation and look people in the 262 00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:37.680 eye. And it can't just be screen time. It's just not normal. 263 00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:44.519 And you know, I say this while artificial intelligence is gaining and while computer 264 00:21:44.599 --> 00:21:48.319 skills and social media skills and digital marketing skills are more important than ever, 265 00:21:48.640 --> 00:21:56.519 but we're just getting lost in the sphere of technology and we're forgetting the human 266 00:21:56.599 --> 00:22:02.519 aspect of all of this. And I think it's really a problem, uh, 267 00:22:02.559 --> 00:22:03.920 and we need to address it, and if we don't, we are 268 00:22:03.960 --> 00:22:10.759 going to just be self inflicting harm on ourselves and the next generation. All 269 00:22:10.839 --> 00:22:15.039 right, So I decided, particularly after the dinner when David pulled at his 270 00:22:15.079 --> 00:22:18.319 phone and I realized I'm doing too much. I decided I was going to 271 00:22:18.359 --> 00:22:22.400 put the and I kept hearing our phones beeping by our beds beeping. So 272 00:22:22.440 --> 00:22:26.359 we're going to put the phones in another room. We're going to have designated 273 00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:33.759 no phone zones in our house. And I am allowing certain days, times 274 00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:37.880 of the day to do my social media work and then stopping. So with 275 00:22:38.000 --> 00:22:41.359 all the time that I'm going to give myself, and you are too, 276 00:22:41.480 --> 00:22:45.440 because you're going to cut back and you're going to just allocate. It's like, 277 00:22:45.480 --> 00:22:48.759 do you eat incessantly all day? No, you have meals, you 278 00:22:48.799 --> 00:22:52.359 eat at certain times, because if you ate in ccantly all day, you're 279 00:22:52.359 --> 00:22:55.480 going to gain weight. Well, if you're on social media all the time, 280 00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:57.920 you're going to be unhealthy as so you're going to gain mental weight. 281 00:23:00.359 --> 00:23:04.039 Okay, So if you eat a lot incessantly and don't organize your meals and 282 00:23:04.119 --> 00:23:08.400 schedule, you will gain weight because you're overdoing it. If you don't organize 283 00:23:08.440 --> 00:23:11.359 your social media time and you don't have certain times of the day to do 284 00:23:11.480 --> 00:23:18.039 certain things, you will gain mental weight, unhealthy mental weight. So here 285 00:23:18.039 --> 00:23:23.640 are twenty enriching, educational, and entertaining things you can be doing instead of 286 00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:30.960 staring and scrolling at your mobile phone. Okay, I'll say this. By 287 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:37.279 this, many of us are losing ourselves in other people's lives. Why should 288 00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:44.920 someone else get all the attention when you can do something with your own life. 289 00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:49.119 Why live your life through other people's lives on screen and not do something 290 00:23:49.160 --> 00:23:56.960 with yourself? Okay, so number one, get moving because you know you 291 00:23:56.000 --> 00:24:00.279 should never drive and be on the phone, period, but you you really 292 00:24:00.279 --> 00:24:04.839 should be taking walks or riding a bike or swimming or doing something and not 293 00:24:04.920 --> 00:24:08.359 have your phone with you. Or if you're doing it and you're going alone 294 00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:11.240 and for safety reasons you want to have your phone, or you're doing a 295 00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:15.519 step track or app or something like that, just stick it in your pocket 296 00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:18.480 or in a pouch and just have it available, but don't be on it, 297 00:24:18.680 --> 00:24:25.279 talking or scrolling while you're doing this activity. Compart to menalize, I 298 00:24:25.319 --> 00:24:29.039 am a big I do believe that if particularly a woman, and you're going 299 00:24:29.079 --> 00:24:30.960 on alone take whether it's a hike or a walk or a run, you 300 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:37.160 should have some form of phone or way to have people track you. God 301 00:24:37.200 --> 00:24:40.920 forbid something happens. But you don't have to be on the phone while you're 302 00:24:40.960 --> 00:24:44.960 walking. Look around, you enjoy nature. Okay, you may want to 303 00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:48.519 take a picture every sowing of the bird that's lighting on the tree or whatever. 304 00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:52.559 That's fine, but you don't have to post about it immediately. Right 305 00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:56.480 You don't have to stop the pace to post. Nobody cares that much about 306 00:24:56.480 --> 00:25:00.640 the bird. I've told my husband that many times. Nobody cares about the 307 00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:03.960 whatever right now. You can do it later. So get moving, hop 308 00:25:03.960 --> 00:25:07.400 on a bike, rollerblades, whatever, Because thirty to forty minutes a daily 309 00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:10.880 movement a day is great for your health. It's great not only for your 310 00:25:10.880 --> 00:25:14.200 physical health, but your mental health, particularly when you're not holding a phone 311 00:25:14.200 --> 00:25:18.920 to your ear. Two. Reach for a real book. I love to 312 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:26.119 read. I have started reading more now because I am trying to regain and 313 00:25:26.160 --> 00:25:30.160 recapture some things that bring me lots of joy. And I do like reading 314 00:25:30.279 --> 00:25:33.799 books, not any book. I don't really like reading on the computer. 315 00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:36.880 It gives me a headache. It's okay if you do, but again, 316 00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:40.680 once you're on that computer, you will get distracted and go into social media. 317 00:25:40.759 --> 00:25:44.119 It's just tempting you. I read real books with pages. I pick 318 00:25:44.119 --> 00:25:45.960 a subject, pick a subject you're interested in, or a novel you've read 319 00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:49.880 about, and try to read ten pages without interrupting, Like ten pages without 320 00:25:49.920 --> 00:25:56.000 looking at your phone. Ten Just give it a shot. I've read two 321 00:25:56.000 --> 00:26:00.720 books because I again have stopped rolling all over the damn place, and I 322 00:26:00.759 --> 00:26:04.359 was able to read a book this weekend without interruption in the pool while I 323 00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:10.519 was doing my leg exercises. So as moving and reading. Call a friend 324 00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:15.480 to say hello. Forget texting and instanmeshing, because I cannot stand having conversations 325 00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:18.880 via text. I just am like, pick up the phone and let's talk 326 00:26:18.920 --> 00:26:25.960 things through. And sometimes just hearing someone's voice or letting someone hear your voice, 327 00:26:25.960 --> 00:26:27.839 can make a world of difference. I have a friend who's going through 328 00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:33.240 a difficult time because her dog is ending that end of life part of its 329 00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:37.319 life. She texted me to say that, you know, he wasn't doing 330 00:26:37.359 --> 00:26:40.880 well. I didn't text back, oh okay, I did an emoji like 331 00:26:40.920 --> 00:26:44.759 I'm sorry, but I immediately picked up the phone and said, tell me 332 00:26:44.799 --> 00:26:49.440 what's going on. How can I help? Because sometimes people can't express how 333 00:26:49.480 --> 00:26:53.599 they're feeling in a text, but they sure can in a conversation again. 334 00:26:55.039 --> 00:26:59.960 Conversation is an art that we cannot lose. It's a skill and an art 335 00:27:00.039 --> 00:27:04.640 art we should never lose. Okay, so stop texting, start calling right, 336 00:27:07.160 --> 00:27:11.319 embrace your creativity. And I have a bunch of crayons and color pencils 337 00:27:11.359 --> 00:27:15.119 and drawing sketchbooks up in the closet that've been sitting there, and I keep 338 00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:18.839 saying I'm going to use them. I'm going to use them instead I'm always 339 00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:25.640 doing something else. Start using them, take a class, sign up for 340 00:27:25.720 --> 00:27:29.440 an art class, or just start doing it. You don't really need a 341 00:27:29.480 --> 00:27:32.680 class to draw our pain. If you feel you to buy a coloring book 342 00:27:32.720 --> 00:27:34.480 and color in the lines or color outside of the lines, it really doesn't 343 00:27:34.519 --> 00:27:37.920 matter. Buy a tied eye kit and check it out in some old sheets. 344 00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:42.839 Sign up for some kind of fun class, or a cooking class that 345 00:27:44.039 --> 00:27:47.880 there's a store around here called Michael's. I've never seen so many crafsy things 346 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:49.519 in my life. I'm like I said to David, Wow, am I 347 00:27:49.559 --> 00:27:53.960 ever going to be crapsy? I hope so, because I have this friend 348 00:27:53.960 --> 00:27:59.200 who's really good at it, and it can really be a great creative outlet. 349 00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:03.720 Maybe pick one thing and try to learn about it, whether it's sketching 350 00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:10.759 or painting or using clay doough or mosaics or whatever, something that brings out 351 00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:14.799 the creativity and you can bring you joy and again get you off the phone, 352 00:28:14.799 --> 00:28:17.519 and maybe you can end up being a great side hustle as well, 353 00:28:17.880 --> 00:28:21.799 and then you can be on your phone promoting your side hustle and making money. 354 00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:26.039 So this morning, when I was writing up these twenty lists of twenty, 355 00:28:26.079 --> 00:28:27.279 I asked my husband David, what he would be doing if he was 356 00:28:27.279 --> 00:28:30.440 spending less time on the phone, and he said, oh, I'd be 357 00:28:30.480 --> 00:28:33.640 outdoors, so he'd be doing sports, which I think is like awesome. 358 00:28:33.680 --> 00:28:37.799 I'd love for him to do more sports. He also said I would bake 359 00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:42.680 more, and he has been baking bread. So cooking is a great way 360 00:28:42.920 --> 00:28:48.720 to embrace your creativity, use your hands, create something delicious, and have 361 00:28:48.759 --> 00:28:52.559 a wonderful meal at the end. We're both trying to do more of that. 362 00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:56.720 We'll find a recipe, yes, we find them online, but we 363 00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:00.559 also have cookbooks and we will cook and we've started cooking to go, and 364 00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:06.119 that's a great way to use all that precious time that you were spent scrolling 365 00:29:06.200 --> 00:29:11.200 or being on your computer. Sign up for a wine tasting and learn about 366 00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:14.599 a wine region or style you're less familiar with. We went to a wine 367 00:29:14.599 --> 00:29:18.599 tasting at a local wine shop. It was German and Austrian producers. We 368 00:29:18.680 --> 00:29:22.559 met them, We had a good time. There were a lot of people 369 00:29:22.599 --> 00:29:26.279 our age we noticed at the tasting. We went to one the week before 370 00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:30.200 with a friend who does South African wines. It's a great way. All 371 00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:33.039 these are usually free or like five or ten dollars, often redeemable if you 372 00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:37.880 purchase wine. But it's a great way to get out and mingle and taste. 373 00:29:38.119 --> 00:29:41.559 Don't overdo it or spit, but it's a great way to learn. 374 00:29:41.799 --> 00:29:48.039 I do advocate for online wine tastings, but that's a good way. That's 375 00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:51.039 a positive way to be on the computer. If you're taking a wine course 376 00:29:51.279 --> 00:29:55.759 or a course on anything like a webinar, that's fine. Again, that's 377 00:29:55.799 --> 00:30:02.839 not social media. That's learning. If you're a home clean this is so 378 00:30:02.960 --> 00:30:04.680 crazy. I never thought i'd enjoy cleaning, but I decided I wanted to 379 00:30:04.720 --> 00:30:08.720 learn how to really clean things because my mother had such a dirty house. 380 00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:12.119 I became obsessed with wanting to clean things and learning how to clean and dust 381 00:30:14.759 --> 00:30:18.319 to save money on cleaning services, even though I'm going to have one once 382 00:30:18.359 --> 00:30:19.240 a month, But the rest of the time I need to learn how to 383 00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:23.039 clean. So I like to declutter drawers and sort things out, and then 384 00:30:23.079 --> 00:30:26.359 I take what I don't want and I put in a bag. I take 385 00:30:26.400 --> 00:30:30.839 it to the local Salvation Army and Goodwill and I declutter. And for me, 386 00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:34.119 that's calming and makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile, and I 387 00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:38.279 get lost in the process. I cleaned out drawers the other day and put 388 00:30:38.359 --> 00:30:42.559 down scented liners. I reorganized. It was a good way to keep busy 389 00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:49.119 off social media and get rid of stuff, because decluttering is like everywhere you 390 00:30:49.240 --> 00:30:52.599 got to get rid of stuff. Here's one I never thought I would do. 391 00:30:53.079 --> 00:30:57.640 Polish that silver and brass sitting in the cabinet drawer shelves that's just been 392 00:30:57.680 --> 00:31:02.680 sitting there. So I bought some brass polished and silver pat and I started 393 00:31:02.680 --> 00:31:06.480 polishing and polishing and polishing all these fines that I found in my mother's house. 394 00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:08.920 Polished him all up and now I'm probably going to post them online. 395 00:31:10.039 --> 00:31:11.880 Yes, I will go back to social media to do that on eBay, 396 00:31:12.039 --> 00:31:15.400 but I'm going to do it to make money. I have a purpose. 397 00:31:15.759 --> 00:31:21.039 I have a purpose and a mission to be on. Or I'll keep some 398 00:31:21.279 --> 00:31:23.640 or I'll gift it to somebody. But that was a great thing to do 399 00:31:23.720 --> 00:31:26.599 with my hands. It kept me busy and off the phone because my hands 400 00:31:26.599 --> 00:31:30.599 were dirty. I couldn't touch the phone. Listen to music, like really 401 00:31:30.680 --> 00:31:34.279 listening to music, or an audiobook or an opera like have you ever just 402 00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:37.200 lay down on a sofa and listen. My husband does it all the time. 403 00:31:37.240 --> 00:31:40.680 He does it, tends to do it on the computer with Grateful Dead, 404 00:31:40.759 --> 00:31:42.279 but I'll forgive him because he likes the Grateful Dead. He's listening to 405 00:31:42.359 --> 00:31:47.200 music. It's just when you're listening to music and scrolling social media, that's 406 00:31:47.240 --> 00:31:51.559 not cool. But if you're really listening to music, and particularly opera or 407 00:31:51.559 --> 00:31:56.000 something gorgeous like that, that could be really enjoyable. We dedicated two rooms 408 00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:02.200 of our house to being TV free. That's awesome. Two rooms in our 409 00:32:02.200 --> 00:32:06.839 house no TV. All we can do in there is read, talk, 410 00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:12.640 or listen to music, or scroll on social media if you bring your phone 411 00:32:12.640 --> 00:32:15.640 in. But I'm trying not even to do that right now. You are 412 00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:20.720 just trying to listen and read and it's very calming, like not having a 413 00:32:20.759 --> 00:32:27.160 TV on all the time. It's really nice. Take an online class. 414 00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:30.119 If you are going to be online, make it an educational class. Like 415 00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:34.359 I've signed up for online yoga. I try to do two back to back 416 00:32:34.440 --> 00:32:37.799 yoga pilate classes a day. I finish them, I put my mat away. 417 00:32:38.039 --> 00:32:43.759 It's like my little time, but it's my educational time. So yeah, 418 00:32:43.839 --> 00:32:47.200 you can use YouTube to learn about things, watch a movie. There's 419 00:32:47.279 --> 00:32:51.720 positive ways to use it. Again, what I'm talking about is not that. 420 00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:54.119 What I'm talking about is incessantly scrolling to see what other people are doing 421 00:32:55.079 --> 00:32:59.799 and how they're dressing and what they're doing, just because you have nothing better 422 00:32:59.880 --> 00:33:02.359 to do, and you're just sitting there doing that and wasting your time. 423 00:33:05.880 --> 00:33:10.480 Take in a real performance music, dance, opera, whatever, comedy, 424 00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:16.680 go to a comedy club. If you go on meet up or next door. 425 00:33:16.839 --> 00:33:20.200 Okay, that's an app. Okay, those are apps. So sadly 426 00:33:20.200 --> 00:33:23.160 everything goes back to apps because there is no more print media. So use 427 00:33:23.240 --> 00:33:28.039 social media to find out what's going on in your community, to connect so 428 00:33:28.079 --> 00:33:30.519 you can actually go out and enjoy things. That's a positive way to use 429 00:33:30.519 --> 00:33:35.119 social media. Anyway. I keep doing this, it keeps taking me back 430 00:33:35.119 --> 00:33:37.279 to social media, so I guess you know we're hung no matter what. 431 00:33:37.799 --> 00:33:42.680 But again, this is about productive ways to use social media versus waste of 432 00:33:42.720 --> 00:33:46.720 time. So I find meetups are really great. I'm actually thinking about starting 433 00:33:47.119 --> 00:33:51.400 and joining an investor of an investment club. I want to learn more about 434 00:33:51.440 --> 00:33:55.200 investing, so I'm actively looking for that right now, not working with an 435 00:33:55.240 --> 00:34:00.200 investor advisor already have that, but like a club where people are doing it 436 00:34:00.240 --> 00:34:05.599 together and sharing ideas. You could join a group that can teach you how 437 00:34:05.640 --> 00:34:13.119 to write or start a business. There's so many groups out there. Join 438 00:34:13.239 --> 00:34:17.519 and connect that way, so you meet like minded people or meet new people 439 00:34:17.880 --> 00:34:24.960 and connect in a positive way. Visit a museum and don't take photos, 440 00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:30.880 Like go to a museum or a botanical garden or something like that and don't 441 00:34:31.039 --> 00:34:37.840 take photos. Just go and let everything sync in as is, and don't 442 00:34:37.880 --> 00:34:39.960 document that you were there. Have you ever thought about doing that? Like 443 00:34:39.960 --> 00:34:45.320 how many times do you go to a concert or a light show or whatever 444 00:34:45.400 --> 00:34:51.559 and everybody's got their phone up documenting it and they're not really in the moment. 445 00:34:51.639 --> 00:34:55.639 They're in the moment through their cameras. Think about that, Think about 446 00:34:55.639 --> 00:35:00.800 what it be like just to be in the moment. You can do both, 447 00:35:00.880 --> 00:35:05.440 but you can't do one exclusively. You need to create a balance. 448 00:35:05.559 --> 00:35:08.199 Take some snippet video and then put the phone away and be in the moment. 449 00:35:09.119 --> 00:35:13.760 Write in a journal, like really write, Like who has bad handwriting 450 00:35:13.800 --> 00:35:17.239 because they never write anymore because we're all busy typing me. Write in a 451 00:35:17.280 --> 00:35:22.880 journal and try to perfect your penmanship in the process. Think about not what 452 00:35:22.920 --> 00:35:27.400 you're doing. Don't make the journal a log of what you're doing, but 453 00:35:27.400 --> 00:35:34.840 and see how you're feeling. Give it a dreamless think about dreams where you'd 454 00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:37.440 like to be going. What are you passionate about the other day, I 455 00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:42.880 lay in the pool as I was thinking about this show and social media and 456 00:35:42.920 --> 00:35:46.000 how I'm on it too much, and you know how it can really right 457 00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:49.679 it me too, because then you once you're on it, you start comparing 458 00:35:49.719 --> 00:35:52.679 what everybody else is doing because you're busy looking at their lives and not dealing 459 00:35:52.719 --> 00:35:54.159 with your life. And I sat myself down and I was like, what 460 00:35:54.199 --> 00:35:58.599 am I really passionate about now? Because as you get older, maybe you're 461 00:35:58.679 --> 00:36:01.719 less passionate about certain things as that matter too earlier, and I realized I 462 00:36:01.719 --> 00:36:05.800 needed to work on that, and I need to think harder about what got 463 00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:09.039 me excited now because a lot of things that used to excite me don't. 464 00:36:09.559 --> 00:36:14.039 And I thought, wow, I'm sure journal about that, and then try 465 00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:16.360 a few new things that I haven't done yet to see if I find new 466 00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:21.840 passions. Okay, so that's a good one. As I said, join 467 00:36:21.880 --> 00:36:27.920 a club or a group, or volunteer your time to do something that you 468 00:36:28.519 --> 00:36:32.639 enjoy. But you're not necessarily it's not necessarily transactional. Just you're doing it 469 00:36:32.679 --> 00:36:39.920 for the fun of it. A garden club offer. Go to your local 470 00:36:40.039 --> 00:36:43.880 park and see if you can if they have days where they do clean up 471 00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:50.000 the park. David and I volunteered our time for some festivals down here. 472 00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:52.320 We signed up to be festival volunteers. We got to go to the events 473 00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:57.280 for free, and we served crawfish and when it was really fun and we 474 00:36:57.320 --> 00:37:00.599 worked the entrance and it was just volunte your time. It was fun, 475 00:37:00.679 --> 00:37:06.119 we met people, we attended the event, and we were keeping ourselves busy 476 00:37:06.239 --> 00:37:07.920 doing things to be part of the community. And we were not on our 477 00:37:07.920 --> 00:37:15.199 social media, write a letter or send a card to friend or family member 478 00:37:15.239 --> 00:37:20.000 in melee with a good old fashioned stamp versus an email. My mother kept 479 00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:23.400 stacks and stacks and stacks of cards greeting cards, as did my father, 480 00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:27.320 and when I was cleaning out the house, I had so many. I 481 00:37:27.320 --> 00:37:29.840 didn't know what to do with them. I was. I tried to sell 482 00:37:29.880 --> 00:37:31.320 a bunch because some of them are really kind of funny. I tried to 483 00:37:31.400 --> 00:37:35.480 keep as many as I could, and sadly I had to donate or give 484 00:37:35.519 --> 00:37:42.679 away or dump a lot. But how many times did people send you cards 485 00:37:42.719 --> 00:37:45.760 anymore? It's like so nice? You know. When my mother died, 486 00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:50.760 I didn't receive as many condolence cards as when my dad died. My mother 487 00:37:50.840 --> 00:37:55.559 received over five hundred cards handwritten with people saying what my father meant to her. 488 00:37:57.440 --> 00:38:04.559 I think I received two cards that were handwritten, two out of maybe 489 00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:08.320 the twenty cards I received at all. Everything else was on social media. 490 00:38:08.519 --> 00:38:14.719 I made five hundred social media notes, but the ones I responded to were 491 00:38:14.760 --> 00:38:17.719 the ones that were handwritten, and they met a lot because they people took 492 00:38:17.760 --> 00:38:22.519 the time to write them and send them and put them in the mail. 493 00:38:22.559 --> 00:38:28.400 And I always send real cards. I send real cards to a lot of 494 00:38:28.400 --> 00:38:31.320 people, even if I don't know them well. But if the person's family 495 00:38:31.360 --> 00:38:36.000 member died and I feel touched by their story, I will find their address 496 00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:40.280 and send them a note. Because the five hundred or six hundred condolences you 497 00:38:40.280 --> 00:38:44.199 get on social media that you will never be able to respond to, because 498 00:38:44.199 --> 00:38:47.400 you will get lost in social media trying to respond all of them. You 499 00:38:47.480 --> 00:38:52.159 can respond to those handwritten notes. They really mean a lot people took the 500 00:38:52.239 --> 00:38:58.920 time to write you. Take the time to write back. Garden or weed, 501 00:38:59.239 --> 00:39:00.800 create a garden, buy it creating to set up an indoor garden, 502 00:39:00.880 --> 00:39:05.039 an herb garden. Go to the local store, or buy something that you 503 00:39:05.079 --> 00:39:09.679 can help grow and get into it. Maybe it's herbs, maybe it's a 504 00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:15.119 tree, whatever it is, get your hands dirty, take the time to 505 00:39:15.199 --> 00:39:17.960 do it. We need to do that here. That's something that I do 506 00:39:19.039 --> 00:39:22.719 want to work on. Sign up to be a mentor to somebody else. 507 00:39:22.760 --> 00:39:25.840 There's a lot of mentorship groups that you can join, and there are a 508 00:39:25.880 --> 00:39:29.840 lot of people who would love to hear your wisdom or just want to talk. 509 00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:31.320 You know. Again, a lot of people just don't ever have anyone 510 00:39:31.400 --> 00:39:37.000 talking to them anymore. You could be that person that could change someone's life 511 00:39:37.039 --> 00:39:40.679 just by giving them your advice and listening to them and helping provide them with 512 00:39:40.719 --> 00:39:45.320 some insights. There are a lot of mentorship groups. Look in your local 513 00:39:45.320 --> 00:39:49.519 community. You'll find them. As I said, volunteer your time in a 514 00:39:49.559 --> 00:39:54.960 local park or a nonprofit, your church, your synagogue. Just get involved. 515 00:39:55.800 --> 00:40:00.880 You know, yes, time is money, but time is also valuable 516 00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:05.559 time to get to know people and enrich and connect. And we're talking about 517 00:40:05.559 --> 00:40:12.360 connecting in a positive way. But do give yourself a disconnect day and stick 518 00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:15.519 to it. Maybe you pick a Sunday, or maybe it's a night where 519 00:40:15.760 --> 00:40:20.280 or maybe it's a time of the day where you disconnect. Just find that 520 00:40:20.559 --> 00:40:23.679 block of time where you are not going to handle your phone. You're not 521 00:40:23.679 --> 00:40:29.519 going to look and see who's called, You're not going to check your texts. 522 00:40:30.519 --> 00:40:36.559 Set it aside. I have a do not disturb on my phone from 523 00:40:36.840 --> 00:40:43.719 ten pm to I think it's seven am. Every day I have do not 524 00:40:43.800 --> 00:40:46.760 disturb. I also put do not disturb on when I'm writing. I do 525 00:40:46.760 --> 00:40:51.320 do not disturb a lot or mute so I don't have to hear from anybody 526 00:40:51.679 --> 00:40:53.880 The problem I'm having and you maybe too, is everybody seems to want to 527 00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:57.159 text you all the time, and then they're like, you did get my 528 00:40:57.199 --> 00:41:00.239 text, you didn't respond to my text. And I can't explain that I'm 529 00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:02.880 not always checking my phone for text. If somebody really wants to reach me, 530 00:41:04.679 --> 00:41:10.039 pick up the phone and call me and I will call back, you 531 00:41:10.039 --> 00:41:14.239 know, just the way it is. But I don't always check my phone 532 00:41:14.280 --> 00:41:16.480 incessantly as well. Like I said, I try to put the phone down, 533 00:41:16.719 --> 00:41:21.480 put it away, don't look at it certain times of the day so 534 00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:27.840 I can do things like read, write, exercise, relax, even take 535 00:41:27.840 --> 00:41:30.599 a power nap, you know, take a thirteen minute twenty minute power nap, 536 00:41:31.400 --> 00:41:36.519 or just meditate and lie down, do nothing, and that will help 537 00:41:36.599 --> 00:41:39.840 you a lot. So these are my tips. You may have more, 538 00:41:40.679 --> 00:41:46.039 But the end of the day, your mental health is very important because you 539 00:41:46.119 --> 00:41:52.639 can't connect with people if you are mentally tied up in notts. You cannot 540 00:41:52.719 --> 00:41:55.159 work effectively if you're mentally tied up in notts, and it will impact your 541 00:41:55.159 --> 00:42:01.199 physical health. And that is something for every age and every generation. And 542 00:42:01.840 --> 00:42:08.000 if you are finding that being on social media is not pleasurable, it's wasting 543 00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:12.920 your time, you're getting agitated when you're on it. Then it is time 544 00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:19.519 to dial back and maybe disconnect. And if you want to take a break 545 00:42:19.639 --> 00:42:27.400 from it all together, you can. You can. You don't have to 546 00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:30.760 do it because everybody else is. Just because everybody else is doing a TikTok 547 00:42:30.880 --> 00:42:35.440 video program or something doesn't mean you have to. And I have to tell 548 00:42:35.480 --> 00:42:40.079 myself that all the time. But the end of the day, is it 549 00:42:40.119 --> 00:42:44.880 worth it or not? And everything you do in life is it worth it 550 00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:52.639 or not? Is it time waster or time enrichment. Is it sucking your 551 00:42:52.679 --> 00:42:55.880 time or is it making you feel good? And if something's no longer making 552 00:42:55.920 --> 00:43:00.280 you feel good, is it bringing you joy and make you feel insignificant or 553 00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:05.199 insecure or not as great as other people? Then take a card, reset, 554 00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:15.679 take some time off and rethink and reset. It's important so parting thoughts. 555 00:43:16.440 --> 00:43:20.039 If you're just scrolling for the fun of it, then maybe you need 556 00:43:20.079 --> 00:43:24.719 to create a new form of fun in your life. Why focus on watching 557 00:43:24.760 --> 00:43:30.079 how others live their lives and then comparing your life to theirs when you can 558 00:43:30.119 --> 00:43:36.159 create your own life and enjoy it on your own time. Use social media 559 00:43:36.719 --> 00:43:40.320 to connect in a positive way, to learn, to educate, to entertain 560 00:43:40.440 --> 00:43:46.320 and engage in a healthy way. But don't let it take over your time, 561 00:43:47.920 --> 00:43:52.599 or your mental health or your relationships. It's not worth it. What's 562 00:43:52.599 --> 00:43:59.599 worth it is being true to yourself and owning your time. I'm Melanie Young. 563 00:43:59.800 --> 00:44:02.079 This this is fearless fabulous. You you can follow me? Oh god, 564 00:44:02.119 --> 00:44:07.559 did I just say this on social media? Lord Melanie fabulous? Or 565 00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:09.519 don't follow me at all. If it's going to waste your time, don't 566 00:44:09.559 --> 00:44:13.400 follow me. Just listen to the show and enjoy it, share it with 567 00:44:13.480 --> 00:44:16.599 friends, pick up the phone and call somebody. Go get that journal, 568 00:44:16.679 --> 00:44:20.840 Go do something that you haven't done in a while. Just go out and 569 00:44:20.920 --> 00:44:24.960 enjoy your own life versus watching other people show off theirs. Thank you for 570 00:44:25.039 --> 00:44:30.039 joining me, and remember it's your choice. Choose fearless and fabulous and choose 571 00:44:30.079 --> 00:44:52.039 to live life on your terms. Thank you.