Welcome to soft core History. Welcome back to softcore History. I'm your host
for the week, damn regester. Now I'm joined as always by Rob Fox.
Hello, and for the time being, Jake Coleman. Just a little
bit, just a little bit of time counting down the day. So you're
fucking gone, dude, that's right, baby, So we're making that Monday.
We gave ourselves a raise. We incepted you. It's a dish farming.
Actually, we're like, how we get Jake out of here and we
went to the good people at Inception Inc. And made you have to dream
about wayster farming. Are you saying you just put a couple hundred bucks into
Facebook and targeted ads? That's exception? Now, yeah, that is exception.
Yeah no, uh for sure, that definitely worked. Then. Yeah,
it's edition by subtraction. I'm actually giving you guys an un birthday gift.
By the way, we're recording a day late today because rub it he's
making me work on my fucking birthday, his fucking birthday, which I forgot
about. That's okay. I didn't text you on your birtha. I know
a lot of people didn't. We just wanted to be wrote down names.
Apparently I will ruin your life now. I know someone that found an old
book in like an elderly relative's house and it was just like a notebook of
who didn't say thank you for gifts. It was like that. I love
that level of pettiness that like they just kept a log for decades. My
mom always tried to teach me the importance of a thank you note, never
did them, but I'm imagining people have now have written my name down and
have a list like that. I remember writing a shit ton of thank you
notes for my wedding and I want to say my downfall and uh showers and
shit like that. But and that was fine because I didn't care. But
as a child, after a birthday or Christmas, the thank you I would
be sitting there writing thank you notes and just be like, I don't know
if the presents were worth it. After my bar mitzvah, I did that
and it was like hours of oh notes, I'm sure yeah, and you
know, I'm a I'm a this is scumbag move. We never said on
thank you notes after my wedding. Uh yeah, I know, I know,
I know, yeah, you know what. You're welcome for having a
party. I never got rob gift actually for his wedding as I overdraft my
account to go to his wedding. That was we'll just call the job the
gift. Yeah. Yeah, You're welcome for your life, your livelihood anyway,
write us a thank you note, Bye bye. Subscribe to or Patreon,
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You can play along with us and sometimes we might just hit you with
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Stay tuned for episode two. What have I done my hands? Are?
I have a vibyryo? Yeah, and I'm dying my skin smelting.
But if this is your first time joining the podcast, since I am really
trying to juice that sweet sweet seo this week because in the news, I
don't know if it's really a near guy's feed, but do you hear about
this? Assassin's Creed announced that they were going to Japan for the new game
and a big deal for a minute, bit of a hot button topic.
One of the main protagonists too. One's a female Japanese girl, cool chill,
kind of like stealthy Ninja. The other the brute, one of the
few black men in feudal Japan. Hold on real quick, bef, we're
getting into the black part. Is that? How the dichotomy of Assassin's creed
always is, there's like a brute and a sneaky one. Typically they combine
it es usually one main character, sometimes there's two. It really depends.
The last few games. The last game they tried to go back to the
stealth roots, so Mirage was more hide in and quick assassinations, not really
being too violent, not a hack and slash Valhalla. The Viking one,
of course, was the brute version. Okay, yeah, well right,
I mean a bit racist to make it that, like, there's no sneaky
Vikings, but I were already thrown around the R word. Oh no,
look, might as well just get out of the way. Yeah, you
know, I actually love I'm surprised I've never played these games. I love
in like Skyrim, I always sneak and shoot people from very far away so
I don't have to sound like you. Yeah, I would actually be a
brute in Skyrim and just run up, I think against elves. I like
that elves were annoying and whenever I saw on elf, I had to kill
it. Yeah. I didn't like elves in that game either, and players.
I also like Skyrim because like, first twenty minutes of that game I
killed like these people at a horse stable and I came back like four days
later after players like, oh, they're still just dead in there. I
was a closeted Skyrim player as the majority of the fraternity house was playing it.
I would make fun of them in front of my girlfriend, my then
girlfriend, and then I would play it, uh in shame. You'd be
like, fuck you, you gaylord. I'm gonna go play mad and then
fuck my girlfriend, and then your girlfriend will leaving and your like, killing
your magic does not do not make me filled with fear exactly that. But
I would justify it by killing those elves and the magical creature tending to kill
people who I would just get a giant like viking brute. It's cool that
you project within the game and in real life you have to Yeah, let's
just be consistent. Absolutely, My only my only experience with Assassin's Creed is
a the Terrible movie and be I remember the first one came out when I
was in college, and sometimes I would just like be stoned and watching like
my buddies play it as I was just yeah, it's a good watch game.
First time they've actually done a real character as the main character. Typically
they sprinkle in the black dude. Yeah, yeah, so Yoske, that's
the episode. The day is on Yaske. He's the main character or one
of the main characters in the New Assassin's Creed. But for the majority of
the series, actually the entire series, it's been a fictional character that you
know, interacts with real people throughout history. Right, they're usually NPC's Yaske
here, though, you're gonna be able to play as them, which you
know what, I'm kind of down with. It's gonna be chill, it's
controversial, it's gonna be dope, but gets I guess the people going yeah,
but like people are like pissed about it, dude, there's like a
big argument about both ends. It's like all the first you know, Asian
Assassin's Creed and they put a black man in it. It's essentially just a
hilarious, like three sixty firing squad of intersectionality because no one who normally cares
about this stuff, like, I mean, they might care about the girl,
Like all right, let's just put this way. The gamer gate right
wing types don't care about this either way. No, because now it's not
a white guy basically, like, it's not like a game in the American
Revolution and you play like as a as like a black woman who fights on
the side, fights against the British or something like that. And the problem
though, why can't the other side where they're like, oh, you guys
wouldn't say anything if it was a white character. It's like, well,
the majority of the characters in Assassin's Creed have been non white. Yeah,
there's I mean, my favorite character is Bayak, who's a Egyptian. When
was he from ancient No? No, he's origin So he's the Egyptian one.
Yeah, by and he's the best voice actor by far. Yeah,
that's real hit or missing video games first, assassin Al Tear or whatever.
I'll tell year. Not not white, Middle raj Middle Eastern. I think
some people have the problem with feudal Japan and ye're with a black guy,
but the only black guy you you literally take out half the side because the
only people who are mad are sort of like left wing people because normally it's
left wing versus right wing right, but now, I mean the right wing
of the character is Asian and black, like they're like, I guess whatever
due a black guy in Asia and in Africa, it doesn't matter to me.
But the left wing is like, no, you got it wrong,
and the other half is just like, ah, I'll just watch it.
I think. Thing that's the most interesting is like people arguing whether or not
he really was even a samurai or like what is like status? Well that's
what we'll find out today. Nice, Okay, today's episode is called was
Yaskea a Samurai? Okay? Really try to dig in and get those new
views, those rage clicks. Yeah, yeah, I like it. Yeah.
So was he a samurai? Was he a glorified squire or was he
just a man who had an incredibly odd fish out of water experience for a
few years in Japan? So the rank of samurai will just kind of cover
that first came with a salary land food servants and the ultimate perk the unchecked
ability to murder anyone below your noble status, a lot of power. Look,
sometimes it's good. It's fun if you have a bad day, right.
Can you imagine if you got like promoted to like a director and it's
like, oh, by the way, you can kill anybody, Like I
mean, you know, if you're the president, you get to kill somebody,
you do gonna order the death of somebody, probably within the first week
of your job from the drone. Yeah, it's all right, click the
button, man, like it's present away with some druon strikes for you to
sign. You're like, oh god, I'm fucking putting notches in my bedpost
day one. Uh yeah, and then you're gonna learn about the aliens.
Yeah, right after this. Well, it was actually in their laws,
right, so it was called kirasute gommon. It was the authorization to cut
and leave the body of anyone who dishonored you without any consequences. There are
harsher laws about doing that with deer in the United States today, yep,
Like you have to kick it with you can't take it across state lines.
Yeah. Yeah, Now, there were a few stipulations. Okay, the
strike had to come in the heat of the moment. You couldn't really hold
a grudge for weeks and be like, you don't have to cut that man
down. Oh so they only had to commit a petty violation against you and
you had to react immediately. So it behooves you to be unreasonable and just
reactive. Yeah. Yeah, you can't act like if someone cuts you off
in traffic or does something stupid on the road, you have to kill them
right there. Yeah, you can't write down their license plate, don't think
about it, Yeah, just react. It can't be premeditated. Yeah,
murder. Yeah, second agree, murder cool? First agree? What the
fuck? Man? You could have killed them right there? Ye. Yeah.
There were a few professions that were exempt while at work, doctors and
midwives. That makes sense. It was needed for them to be able to
push boundaries during their job. Yeah, but off the clock on site yeah
yea. So essentially you could be mad at a doctor a midwife, but
you can't do anything there, and then you can just go walk around later
and bump into them oops, you know, and be like hi, and
then you're well, if I were a doctor, I would just always be
on call. It's like I'm working I'm working, Yeah, but yeah.
The samurai then had to report the incident to a government official and expected to
spend the next twenty days at home as proof of remorse for his actions.
Now that is where they keep you from doing it, the red tape.
Yeah, yeah, I got a chill for twenty days after I murder someone
and you got to inform the government of it and stuff like that. I
mean it's like if murder was legal, but you fucking had to go to
the d MV right after. I don't think it go up that much.
Nos, like bureaucratic coops, no, thank you. Yeah, it's like
you gotta do six forms three in duplicate. How many people cops don't shoot
because of the paper Yeah, no, honestly serious. Every time you just
charge your weapon, dude, Yeah, you're supposed to fire a bullet paper
and they shoot a fair amount of people they do. I guarantee you that
paperwork keeps bullets in the chambers. Yeah for each one. Yeah, for
sure, there's no there's no way it wouldn't be more. Honestly, that's
that's a solution. Add more paperwork. Yeah, Like, anytime make someone's
life an inconvenience, they'll never do it. Yeah. Absolutely, it's like
God, I gotta do that again. Yeah, no, thanks. Occasionally
the murder weapon would be taken away for those twenty days. Not always,
but sometimes if they had to do dest Is this just a cop you can
put on desk duty while they Japanese comps. Yeah. All that said,
Samurai had such high status. Their word was pretty much taken his gospel,
and they had carte blanche to do whatever they wanted against the lower class East
silent. Not's blanche due, That's not what he's talking about it. It's
okay, you didn't have to do that. Why not? That's a word
in common use. That's something that's not a random Arabic name. No,
that's how I said, though. Carte Actually that's a pretty sick like French
character name, carte blanche. Yeah, it's like a good prostitute or like
a bond villain. M Yeah, that would be a good bet. That'd
be good. Beat. What about cartel blanche. Cartel Blanche is a good
name too. Carl's a terrible first name, but I think that a good
like World War two prostitute, like World War two era of Parisian prostitute name
will Bete. Yeah, I read an awesome stat on hookers and uh world
War two, in World War two in Paris that I'll have to I'm gonna
save from my own episode because it was just stunning. So teaser for two
weeks from now they tuned, Yeah, you have to tune in. Yeah.
Given this ability to roame feudal Japan as essentially untouchable gangsters, the title
of Samurai was only given to a handful of outsiders, most notably Tom Cruise.
Yeah, was it given to him? Well? He so he's based
off like a French commander. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's not a
real character in Last Samurai. He is based off I believe two French commanders
that both were honored with Samurai titles. Also, people, I think Tom
Cruise is not the last Samurai. No, Ken Watson Nabi's character is the
last Samurai that they reference, and he's literally there to fight, like his
role makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't remember it being
a particularly good movie. It's been a wat since. I like to I
thought it was a great movie. Never saw it. Okay, maybe we'll
do a watch a lot. It actually was low key, like a pretty
good representation of like the one battle scene in the forest in particular, like
not the worst representation of like line and shoot fighting. That's cool, that's
cool, just bringing the cannons. Yeah, I love a good splintering wood
in the forest fight scene. Oh baby, Yeah, anytime trees are splintering.
Yeah, I'm like, this is good. This is good television,
good film on the ok. Yes, we aren't exactly sure where he came
from, as there's conflicting reports on how he got to Japan and we do
not know his original name. One states that he came with an Italian missionary
from the Portuguese East Africa which is now Mozambique. What year is this.
This is fifteen seventies, fifteen eighties. Okay, So there's not a whole
lot of things, a lot of a lot of outsiders in Japan other than
the Portuguese. We have this as Italian missionaries. You know, people are
dipping a toe in Japan, but there's not too many. Yeah, it's
still pretty like they're opening up trade, but it's still kind of like,
yeah, the Portuguese, Yeah, they're reserved. If you watch Showgun,
it's kind of a representation of this time. It didn't really start until Matthew
Chandler being Perry opened up the island of Japan just took like one warship in
there and was like, yeah, no, you're not closed off anymore.
Yeah, so I forget it was like during it might have been during the
Civil War, like right before to right after it. But it's just funny
these named Matthew Perry. So some believe Joske was from Mozambique, others believe
he's from Africa African roots, but he was caught and captured and traded as
a slave in India. Either way, most of the information available that mentions
Yoske was written nearly half a century after the last documented evidence of his existence,
So he is documented and he did exist. Yeah, he's like Jesus.
Most of the things that were written about him were half a century later,
a century later. Yeah, just like Jesus. Just like Jesus.
Yeah, black Samurai Jesus. If he's East African, the Portuguese could grabbed
him or any number of Arab like because the Arab slave trade snatched from each
East Africa. I gotta say Africa as far as country names go, Like
the coolness of the country name is directly inverse of like the quality of life.
Yeah, Sierra Leone, Mozambique, like beautiful country names, and then
you're just like, oh, maybe not the best country, not the best
country. You gotta cover up with good Brandon. Yeah, but dude,
MOSE's that sounds like a luxury brand Portuguese East Africa too, a little too
wordy, right, Yeah, it's just a lot. Yeah, p e
A. Your name's p so Yoske was captured by the Portuguese in the fifteen
seventies and sold to an Italian Jesuit priest, Alessandrolegnano. Thinking of a more
Italian name. Noano required that anyone going on his missionary trips study for at
least two years and learned the native language and customs of where they were going
to easily assimulate and make spread in the Word of God as painless as possible.
Man, just speak English, Come on, speak American English. Let's
break down some physical features of Joske and why he maybe a problem in the
game. We've got to get it about to get some draft combine measurements.
Yeah, man had a fucking eight foot wingspan, ran a four to three
forty like he's he should be unbeatable in this game. Fucking go berserk dude,
trying to think of like the I mean, it's like Lebron James,
right, He's like a Lebron James bill just like, yeah, if you
drop Lebron James in the thirties and give him a sword, like all right,
so you're block away getting hacked up, dude. He was listed from
anywhere between six to six five. Six foot would be huge still because the
average pine size Japanese person at the time five foot. Yeah, he had
at least a foot on every single person if he's county. I mean,
fucking tower dude, that's a giant. Yeah. Being the darkest and tallest
dude on the island. Gaske stood out immediately when they made Port Towering over.
Like I said, these little Japanese people of the sixteenth century who were
at max five feet, I mean, I fucking I might have told a
story on the show before, but I have a buddy who his dad was
like a CEO at a what's the big garage door company. It's like a
genie I think genie garage do. Yeah, he was like a good forget.
Yeah, he's a genie, you know. It's have a garage rob,
I do. I still rent. Yeah, I could tell that's a
genie, you know, and somebody opens your garage door and you're like,
hey, Jim's out a genie. You know it is you guys don't have
neighbors. I don't. He was in Japan for some business trip and he
got on an elevator. He's like six or four. He's a big guy,
but you know, six four and like like this little girl like hid
behind her mom on the elevator and he's like something when she's like staring at
him, and she's just like, I'm sorry, you're the biggest human being
she's ever seen. And this was in like the nineties. Yeah, no,
for sure. It's like if you've watched Fallout, moyses, what's his
name next to the other guy? Like do you know the lady explained the
characters. I have no idea who the fucking actors? Oh h, the
brother of the main character lady is like five to one in real life.
Yeah, and then the guy he's standing next to his six five. Yeah,
there's a literal like there's an on screen portrayal of what actually the one
actor's name because it's register. Yeah, that's right. It is register.
The tall guy's register and the other guy's like moyses whatever, and the one
guys five to one next to a six five guy. If you look at
him side by side, you're like, holy fuck. Yeah, any normal
person next to Danny DeVito. Yeah, it's probably a better reference. Sure,
more more, uh, this is more for you guys. We're going
for SEO. We got to talk about Fallout Walton Goggins, Yeah, the
video game episode. Yeah. Yeah, he was also apparently, you know,
jacked because he was at the time a slave. Yeah, I feel
like a physical labor slave, yeah, or like a man servant mm hmm,
because he's with the priest. Yeah, but but he got him from
somewhere else. Yeah, he's doing stuff. I guess he's on a ship
to Japan. I'm sure they have him work in the boats. Yeah,
especially just like if he is a squire type too. I mean, like
he's lugging shit around. Not a squire yet, oh not yet, okay,
yeah, but I mean if he's hauling luggage, he's got like what's
the slave equivalent of, like dad strength, slave slave strength, bell hoop
strength. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, like he can just throw those suitcases
right over your and you're right, like, I'm sure. First off,
I don't know how it was for them, but in the in the American
South, slaves were rented out all the time. Yeah, Like it was
like a thing where either the slave can make money on it, and obviously
the owners of the slaves will make money on it. They'd be like,
I got nothing for you to do Tuesday and Wednesday, so I ranted you
out to you know, the mill or whatever. So it wouldn't surprise me
if the priest to maybe get some funds or something. I don't know how
slavery worked with that particular situation, but it was just like, yeah,
to get passage on the ship, you have to work. I wouldn't even
prerequistite that. You don't know, just be confident about it, like just
talk like nonchalantly, like you know everything about slavery. Here's that's gonna work
better. I believe such a low percentage of the US population actually owned a
slave. It was really low. And also there was like a weird situation
too, not weird, but like slaves if they did have off days and
the fucking masters didn't care, like they would be like Okay, you can
just go work for money. I get a cut. But the slaves,
there are lot of slaves who bought their freedom, not like a ton,
but like there was a a not an in not insignificance, lorality non zero.
Yeah, that would be able to work on off days. I think
maybe their owner got a cut, but like they would get keep most if
not all, of it, and they could eventually like buy their their freedom.
Which definitely more examples of that than a black samurai. Uh yes,
I think there's just one of those. Yeah, and there were and there
were there were four four slaves that did that America, so four times aske
superjacked. He had an imposing physique that both terrified and intrigued locals. The
giant shadow is here. I gotta imagine. The flowery language about this man
and old documents is interesting. Not to mention. When he first comes to
town, he's riding a horse. Oh no, so he's the biggest man
alive. They must have just thought he was a centaur. And by the
way, did he need a bigger horse. It's like everyone on a normal
horse and he's on some fucking Clydesdale. It's just like he's on secretariat.
Yeah, just fucking just clop clop clop. Oh my god, that would
be terrifying. That's like when the fucking people saw the elephants, or just
Jango on his horse, or when the fucking there the aztect what when the
assets saw the Spanish cavalry and they thought they were centaurs. Yeah, men
were connected to the horses. Yeah, it's like you're God, like,
I surrender. I don't know what's going on. You all you There are
stories of people literally dining crowds being crushed to death just to get a glimpse
of this mocha a Donna's Oh mocha had Donna. Like, that's what you
react to, people crushing themselves. People get crushed all the time. Like
if we got excited about people getting crushed, like we'd be talking about who
all the bridge openings that we've talked about where people died because there's too many
people. Oh you mean when they were standing on the bridge and someone was
like, the bridge isn't working, we gotta get off of it. It's
like it's actually doing his job. If it wasn't working, you would know.
That's the funniest mass death in human history. Like if you had to
rank one, it's just a bunch of people standing on a bridge with someone
being like, it's not working. I almost witnessed the funny one in New
Orleans on New Year's Eve where you know, midnight happened and we were on
Canal Street and the fireworks starting started going off and everyone ran screaming because it's
Canal Street and they thought it was guns. They forgot what day it was.
It was just like, oh cool. But also, what's in sing
about this is that uh this is uh he was He's just the original Travis
Scott. Yeah, getting crowds whipped up, crushing each other. Yes,
I've said for years it is super inappropriate to bring your six year old to
the unveiling of a black man in Japan, Yeah, or a Travis Scott
concert. So they would get crushed in crowds trying to watch or just like,
look at this guy in amazement. They would also break down doors of
establishments where he was staying just to look at him. Imagine that. Imagine
somebody just kicking your doorn and just looking at you, glaring at you.
I'll tell you what can't be fun, Which, by the way, they're
like like, we know he's fine, but like do they like, how
do like do they know he's safe? They seem to think he's some sort
of spectacle, a giant probably dangerous man in their mind. So like,
why would you would you kick in the cage of a tiger to see if
what was a giant cat? A giant cat, I've never heard of that
before. Kick it in. Dud Jaske got the attention of Oda Nomanaga,
the man responsible for unifying Japan, and he was just kind of like a
pretty big warlord at the time. Nomanaga was captivated by his dark skinned stranger
that was causing such a ruckus in town and was insistent that he finally meet
him. Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Yeah, you're the
most powerful political figure in a country. Someone comes up to you and they're
like, sir, there's some sort of god here. Yeah, he's giant
and has dark skin and people are killing each other just to see him.
Does this interest you as someone who currently maintains power in the country. We
watched him lift a barrel of saki over his head and it's just like you
wouldn't believe it. Man. Upon meeting Yaske, Nomanaga ordered his men to
intensely scrub his with brushes to prove he was in fact that dark and it
wasn't a ruse using charcoal or ash couldn't have been comfortable scrub or it was
pretty hot. He was the cleanest man alive. True, they do like
their showers in feudal Japan. I mean, if you're going to go back
during that time, you want to go to one of the Asian countries where
they practiced hygiene like hardcore hard. Yeah, they did it daily, like
they showered all the time or bathe rather, But yeah, seems clean.
I'm sure parts of han China honestly, but I don't know. Actually,
if there was a time in the fifteen hundreds to go back to or a
place, right, it probably is Japan. Yeah, it's not gonna smell
as bad as long as you can just hang out, like I guess it's
just like, hey, put me like I wouldn't want to go back with
my current self just and be like a fish out of water. Yeah,
but like if I could be like, hey, put me in a Japanese
guy's body and let me go hang out kind of like mod mode, you
know, to be an avatar yeah, don't say the wrong thing around certain
individuals or they cut in half. Yeah. No, yeah, you're just
very little desire to go back. Like if I could like walk around at
like an invisible like sandbox mode, you're not like in it, but you're
just like observing. Yeah. March twenty third, fifteen eighty one, we
have a document that talks about this man in the Lord Nomanaga Chronicle. A
black page came from the Christian countries. He looked about twenty six, twenty
four or twenty five by Western count I guess there's just they have a different
they do different years. They do have a different aging system. I think
in Korea they still the day you were born. You are one years old,
I believe. I hate that. But you haven't been alive for one
year. Well they're you're in year one, you know what I mean?
Is that why they have a longer life expectancy. Yeah, I don't think
are they Are they juicing their numbers by one year? No, it's it's
not, but it's a big amount one year. But there it's more than
that, is what I'm saying. There. It's walking, it's just walking.
They we are like the least walking country. Mmmmm, he was black
like an ox. The man was healthy and good looking. Moreover, his
strength was greater than that of ten men. This guy sounds like he has
a crush on him. Yeah, you're still hot and strong. No,
Monaga's nephew gave him a sum of money at this first meeting. I don't
know why they documented that. Hey man, you're big and strong. He's
the first only fans model. Kind of like, let us scrub you.
And it happens to women all the time now in America. Oh you're so
hot, let me just you want to stuff you want to go on vacation
with? Yeah, he had a sugar daddy. Yeah. The amount of
drop that Amazon wish list. I mean, I don't know, I've I've
seen some people that go on some extravag vacations. I'm sure they, you
know, take money, bye, but you gotta do a lot of terrible
things and to get to Dubai, to dubaias. There's several people I follow
on Instagram, one of whom we know, and I'm just like, I
don't know what you do for a living. Is it the one that took
photos out front of Auschwitz? Yes, I'm like I don't know what you
do for a living. I am aware of what your dad does for a
living. M But I mean, you're pushing thirty at this point, and
I know you don't got a man like who you're dating paying for this?
Like the how the fuck are you on vacation every three weeks? She did,
though, a lot of those vacations were paid for by Oh yes,
I remember that guy. Yeah, all through Instagram. But uh, it's
been a fascinating story though. Yeah, but like it's the guy that takes
the girl on those expensive vacations. He never gets posted. But like,
now that's not there. I like, I just what, like it's like
every two weeks, Like you don't work, Like your parents have said anything
to you at this point. Another business. I think they're I think they're
funding it. WHOA yeah most likely, Hey whatever makes key, But I
mean, look, appear in certain age. Your trust is yours. Yeah,
so no. Monaga became infatuated with Yoske and eventually took him for from
the Jesuits as his own. Since Yoske knew the language thanks to his pre
missionary studies, the warlord was constantly picking his brain and came to thoroughly cherish
these conversations and built up a solid relationship fairly quick. He just he was
fascinated with Joske, And I guess Yoske could probably communicate to you since he
had to do the two years of study. R That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, like that conversation. Yeah no, I mean like that's that's a
big deal in Japan. I mean that's a big deal everywhere, right,
Like being able to maintain a conversation allows you to like check mood, It
allows you to gauge situations better. Like people talk about like oh I hate
small talk, and like, oh talking about the weather stupid, But it
like that has no thing to do with the weather and everything to do with
like reading a room and beating a person. Right, It's like neurodivergent.
People don't understand that, like talking about the weather isn't about the weather at
all. It's about like is this person insane? Like are they gonna be
polite when they say something? You know? So like that carries weight especially
and they can even fucking speak, right. It's kind of like, honestly,
when we have guests on like the main Show podcast and there's no read
on it. What start before and we don't even know who they are,
and like they'll get asked a question and you know, be like, so
what do you uh wait, what was it like going to Japan? You
know, and they'll be like, uh, it's cool. It's a nice
country. Flat. Yeah, yeah, it's annoying. So it's cool.
Nice country is cool. Nice, it's nice. It's like, do you
under understand where you fucking are right now? It's like talk. They need
to speak, especially because a lot of times they they're the ones that book
like got someone to book them on it. Yeah, And I'm immediately like,
I want to fucking murder you with baseball pat one of the many we
have in this Just do your press, dude, can shotgun from the fucking
guitar case over there. Just pull the flash bang cord. It's give me
the last thing I do when I walk out the smoke grenade. Yeah,
don't you do it. I'm not doing it. I remember the first clean
the studio. God damn it. I remember the day I picked it up.
You guys like don't We were like, oh, what's this is?
It? Is this fake? Like live? It's live? Yeah, that's
the fun thing about the set here, I don't know what weapons are real
and what ones are all real. I know there's a ton of toy guns
here, like they're very painted, like they're like cartoon guns. I know
we should do it though, where the guns that look like their toy guns
are real guns, and we paint the real guns is cartoon guns? That
sounds smart here. Yeah, in that guitar case there's a shotgun. I
know that is a cartoon gun, though it's painted like an American flag.
Cool. We need it though, Yeah, you never know. I mean
you can clear out the room from the desk. People just pop in left
and right to the studio and my back to them. So I have to
be able to defend myself with some capacity. Yeah, we don't have the
gun there though, We'll put it under the desk. This is coming from
a Jesuit documentation. The black Man understood little Japanese and Nomanaga never was tired
of talking with him, and because he was strong and could do a few
tricks, no Managa took great pleasure in protecting him and had him roam around
the city of Kyoto with an attendant. Some people in the town thought that
Nomanaga might make him a lord. Okay, so he could do like feats
of strength and gymnastics or kind of. At first, it sounds like he
was almost Nomanaga's pet. Yeah, yeah, it does sound like that to
him, he bought him. I think it starts at that as like kind
of a novelty or a jester maybe pet type situation, but I believe it
grows into a more meaningful relationship. I would go less so pet, more
so just just because like he's paying him directly and he's keeping an attendant,
like you're on the payroll, you're not. Like, So, no,
he was still technically a slave at first. He can't just leave a lot
of the gestures we talk about, can't really leave, or if they do
leave, you wouldn't call them a pet though they are part of the court
and loved right until they aren't. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but
that's another story. So, like I said, he was technically still a
slave at first working for Nomanaga. But the war lord's fondness grew, and
with it came Joske's own home, salary and servants. Sick Yaske moved to
be a Nomanaga's weapon bear and bodyguard. This was a pretty prestigious role to
carry the lord the war Lord's like weapons. That's pretty cool too, and
then just eventually just took over and as a bodyguard. Yeah, because like
the that's kind of like the squire aspect right where it's you're carrying his weapons
for him. Okay, your's caddy. Yeah, and caddy is a death
caddy. You're death caid. Yeah, you're dead caddy. But like caddi's
a sick. It's literally the coolest thing you can be in golf. But
besides the pro golfer, right, because both those caddies are really fucking good
at golf. Yeah, they're typically very good. They're very good, and
they like if you're I gotta imagine Scotty Shuffler's caddie is just crushing it right
now financially Ted SKay. Yeah. Yeah, like he's made more money and
like this year with Scotty than he ever did with Bubba. Yeah, and
oh well Bubba's a piece of shit. Bubba won two masters but still but
still, yeah, Scott that good. I can also imagine caddying for Scotti
is a lot more pleasant than caddying for Bubba thousand. Yeah, Bubba has
been voted the least liked guy on the tour a couple of times. Yeah,
he was permitted to eventually dine with Nomanaga, wear traditional battle armor,
and was even given a katana blade, which is a huge which deal because
only one group of people were allowed to carry the katana blade that was samurai.
So does this beg the question? Was he a samurai? What did
he get initiated? Did he get a bit We don't know, it's never
officially documented, but you know, if it walks like a duck, quacks
like a duck, fucks like a duck. I mean, just because it's
a black swan, it's still quacking and walking. Baby. Here's my question
though. So obviously katana or the samurai swords too, but they did have
what did most people fight with in Japan? Could have been the only sword?
No, they're the smaller swords. Okay, I'm sure they had blanket
on the fucking name, but in a lot honestly, even during the Middle
Ages, the main battle, but it was still a spear. Yeah,
because the katana. There's the katana, then there's the tiny one that comes
with it. There's like a side. Why don't you ask that question?
You're making us look like dickheads. Now, this is softcore history for all
U S e O listeners. They know, they know off the top.
Yeah, your wife said the name. They're screaming into the fucking car.
No, he's a pet's at There was like one listener who came into the
studio who told us he had to stop listening because we got our anime weapons
wrong. He was like, I just couldn't listen after you called this knife
that nice name, after you called a bone blade, blade of baldor or
I don't even know what it was, but I was just like like,
I was just like I would do anything to end this conversation right now.
Yeah, yeah, I'd prefer to not listen to this. Yeah, Like,
oh, I know how you felt from what what's currently happening to me.
I know how you felt. So this all happens in fifteen eighty one.
Let's fast forward a year later. June twenty first, fifteen eighty two.
No Managa was at the Harrow g Temple in Kyoto with thirty pages and
thirty guards. Holy shit, that's including Yosca. Well, dude, he
is the guy. I'm sorry I thought you said Yoske had thirty pages,
thirty guards. Okay, Joske was with him in the posse, Yeah,
in the posse. Yeah, he's gonna roll squad deep. It's the dude.
Ye in Japan, you have to absolutely now general meantsa Hey, he
decided working for Nomanaga wasn't really in his best interest anymore. Trader in the
palace Japanese brutus. So he gets his own group of men surrounds the temple.
There's no confirmation or reason behind the betrayal, but something something power,
vacuum, something, something he wanted a bigger role. Violence breaks out the
temple, set up blaze, and ultimately no Managa commits suppuku. Really before
he's captured, he's like, I'm not gonna a nerve to my general.
Oh okay, So he he realizes he's taking an l M and it's like,
I'm getting out of here in the old fashioned way. I fucking love
the suppuku thing where it's just like it's too prevalent, dude, It's it's
so much. You watch show Gun. In every five minutes, someone's trying
to kill themself. In Showgun where the guy slips on the rocks and is
in the water, and it is gonna stab himself because I'm not letting the
water take it. It's like, holy fuck, Like come on, I
think it's Is it like I don't know, maybe you guys know you in
particular because you are interested in all this shit more than the rest of us.
Uh? Is it like a robs out in any Japanese col cut it
off Asia like he does China and all that stuff? Uh? Is it
like a Valhalla thing where it's like it's like if you die a good death,
your whole family's honored. So it's they don't even fear it, or
like I don't know, like Valhalla was a golf course that was the host
of a PGA champion. Oh right, right, right right, very bad
course. But it's like it's like an honor for you to go to die
in the name of like Islam, or to die if you're you know what
I mean. But Valhalla is supposed to be you know, I'm probably a
butchering this. But you die in battle and you go up to this like
great dying dining hall with all the previous warriors, and every day you fight
and battle and kill each other, but then you celebrate and have a feast
after Yeah, it's just like if you're a football player and you died on
the field. It's basically just like, yeah, you have a nice,
big party and you go kill the party with the people you killed. Yeah.
Sound pretty sweet, honestly, but it sounds like like Valhalla seventy two
Virgins. It seems like Japan has their own kind of version of it,
where like you will have a better afterlife for you and your ancestor. I
don't think it has anything to do with after life. It doesn't. It
doesn't happen, Okay, Okay, that's that's what I wanted. No,
it is mostly just like it's honor. It's honor and code, and they
just like put that ship. Well, it's the top of importance for everything.
It's honoring the other cultures too. I just didn't know if after life
played. I think it's even more cool because it has nothing to do with
the afterlife, right, Like that's the game for love of game. It's
there's a lot of Japanese people during this time when all the Christian missionaries came
that would just like laugh at them, like you're you're so dumb, even
a fucking almighty like I liked it that there were other Japanese people who were
like, that's it's so much better than what's going on here. Man,
Wait, you mean like you know who you win with Christianity? Peasants?
You know what peasants are? Numbers? Yeah, big numbers. Yeah,
yeah, no, you're right. It's yeah, the meek shall inherit the
earth, right, it's a great and then you get one lord to realize
all the peasants are love Jesus. During this though, here's another maybe potential
point for Yoske being a samurai. His last act Nominaga's was to ask for
Yaske to bring his head and sword to his son and heir, making it
more than likely that Yaske was the second for no Monaga Suppuku, so he
cut off his head. I didn't realize there was a like second part of
it. No you have it's like a spotter. Oh yah, you like
dig yourself in or like you go to the stomach, cut through your fucking
intestines and then you get beheaded. It's to make it quicker, kind of.
I guess, yeah, really know the reason? Why just stab you?
Why don't you just behead yourself? I thought it was hard and you
go up and over through the heart. I think you do, but then
somebody else is your And then second I believe, if this story is true,
was more than likely the person that cut his head off again just kind
of couldn't keep watching fucking showgun because like that baby gets stabbed up in a
bucket. Yeah, but it's too much thing. What about the guy that
got boiled alive? Yeah, that's a man. All I have to say,
just hearing about coving, cutting in and carving up and over to the
heart, blow my brains out with a gun, Jesus Christ. Like people
are like, it'd be better with knives, Like fuck that. People that
get shot don't realize they get shot sometimes a lot of times. Yeah,
people that get stabbed are like ow yeah, oh Nick Swartz. And one
of my favorite stand up It's ever is Nick Swartz and talking about why it's
way worse to get stabbed than shot. I think every ask right it where
people who've been both shot and stepped, they're like, yeah, dude,
getting stepped was way worse. Worse. It's a cold blade versus a hot
bullet. Like you typically penetrate you too. Yeah, it's it's you have
to like comprehended as it's happening. I mean even have you, like I've
talked talked about it the show before when I like stabbed myself the other day
trying to open up hot sauce bottle annoying plastics, same thing. Yeah,
it fucking you feel it immediately, you can feel it all inside of you,
and then it hurts. And that was like a millimeter or two.
I can't fucking imagine now. Yoske finally reached Nomanaga's Sun at a nearby castle,
who was in the midst of his own battle with metsa Hey He's soldiers.
He was also defeated and forced to commit ritual suicide. So Yamanaga is
like, what do I do with this goddamn head? Is like, its
fucking head. No, he's actually he's captured in all the chaos. Okay,
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I don't understand how Yosk didn't just hold his sword out as far as possible
and spin as fast as possible. I'm just assuming that at some point during
he, like before the suppuku, he was just bisecting people like equilibrium style,
just like now, a lot of like the anime about Yoske and a
lot of the different I mean, he's in a lot of like pop culture
stuff in Japan and even in America here there's a whole series on Netflix now
and there's gonna be a movie that comes up. He has this like giant
fucking stick that he just beats everyone's ass with. I like that too.
I couldn't find anything about the stick though, like that had any type of
you know, there's a name er to it the beaten stick too. It's
like what Donatello had, Yeah, kind of, I looked that up.
It's one of the weapons in the South Park episode Japanese fighting stick. I
think I think it might have been an African fighting stick. I think it's
before you got that's just racist. It's called a budjutsusu or a bow.
Bow is what Donnateello had. Because a lot of the stuff about Yas throughout,
you know, the fictional versions of him are all that, they're mostly
just you know, made up backstory. No, there's not a whole lot
of documentation on this dude. We make up backstory for people. We have
nothing but documentation on, like fucking George Washington. Lie the lore. Yeah,
lore is part of the It's part of our heritage in a weird way,
right, Like George and George Washington line all the time, every time
a slave could come to his plantation, he'd say, don't worry, your
teeth are safe. But this guy was so big and kind of a brooding
force. I like to think he was like a badass. I think it's
that's just the way that's versus the field of us were transported back to people
who were all a fucking like four to eight or something. Not hard.
It's there's nothing worse than like imagine having, you know, a big old
hog and just sucking at sex. It'd be a waste of a dick,
Yeah, it would. So I think I like to think he was a
fucking warrior. Definitely was badass. He could I'm sure he could like absolutely
body people without even trying, he said. They said he had the strength
of ten men. You don't get that reputation just by the looks a lot.
I think he could punch people's heads clean off. Very He's Paul Onion,
Yeah, Japan's black Paul Bunion. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he's
black Samurai Jesus. So Joske gets captured in the chaos and confused as to
what to do with him. They weren't sure if he was a samurai or
not. So here's kind of a point for the other side that he was
not a samurai, because the men that capture him are like, do we
let him commit supuku? Do we murder him? What do we do?
So the general decides to dishonor him and rob him of supuku and sells him
back to the Jesuits. Oh no, I get to live just like it
as a slave. It's like when a no not that I remember when like
Baptists in my hometown be like, well you're gonna go on a hell of
you. It's like, well, here's the thing about belief structures, right,
that's an empty threat. Yeah. Also, like, look if I
was a giant man who had been trained in combat for several years, and
I was much stronger and pretty than everyone around me, and pretty smart too,
and I was given the option to uh fucking kill myself or be sent
to live with some priests. I think I know which option I would take.
I would play like I didn't want one. I wanted not that one
at this honor. No, not to mention he's only really been in the
samurai life for like two years. Yeah, so like you know, he
probably didn't adopt all the traditions he sounds. He he moves the way he
needs to move, you know, like he adapts. That's why he's good.
Yeah, I think he made that. Okay, Yeah, they're all
just like laughing at him as he leaves, and he's like, oh oh
no, oh no, I have to live, please don't after this,
the giant black maybe samurai now Ronan just kind of disappears from Histery even in
Jesuit records, because a lot of people speculate it he escaped. Mmm,
hell yeah. And a lot of that speculation is that perhaps he went rogan,
turned piracy, big pirate. I love a big pirates, so potentially
black samurai pirate, black samurai pirate. Jesus, I don't know why I
keep saying that's a I mean, black samurai pirate is that's that's pretty rad.
That guy should be on the fucking Mount rushmore of African heroes just badasses
in general. That's the whole argument about that. Yeah, but if you
had to build a continence, go I mean, you go in all world
history, you're not gonna get I don't think he's gonna be. The argument
for the people that are upset that black guys represent in Japan in the New
Assassin's Creator is why don't you just do a African you know, society,
which they could have done with like Shaka Zulu. Yeah, oh for sure.
See I think Zulu is boring because the Zulus were to me pretty fucking
inconsequential. Also, the architecture for the game wouldn't be that cool you it'd
be what architecture, like, Yeah, if you wanted to go up Saharan
Africa, you'd have to do like the Song High Empire or something like that,
like which was in like literally sub saharent like right below in West Africa.
Mostly you'd have to do Song High Empire or man, there's another one
I'm blanking on, but MOLLI yeah, I think I think that's it.
But either way, like those would be where where I would want to go
for African But Songhai is Middle Ages. I don't know when the moment and
Massa Musa was he was molly okay, yeah, I just want grand theft
Auto Cape Town, that's why. But like the Zulu, like honestly,
the Zulu I think get most of their flowers from the fact that they fought
the British. Yeah, and the Dutch and I did pretty well. Yeah
yeah, but like historical impact, sure, I don't did, like they
were not they get they're overrated because they had so much European contact there they
and so like from a White standpoint of history, the Zulu get more gassed
up than they should be. The Song High, the Song High Empire might
be is like probably top ten most underrated empire in human history, because you
know, they just were their own thing in Africa, didn't. I mean,
they had contact with Europeans, but you know, it was still think
it's gonna be pretty dope to go through feudal Japan open world game and you
get to be essentially a fucking berserker giant. We were talking about this at
the soccer game. You were like, how do you be sneaky in?
Oh? Okay. So they have addressed that he does not have the ability
to blend him, which is good. Yeah, No, that's per If
they tried to pull that bullshit, I'll be like, all right, too
far. Yeah, it's like there's nothing he can hide behind. The only
black man in Japan trying to blend in. Everyone's trying to see him.
Like, so I believe his character from what I've heard, does not have
that ability. That's good. I'm glad they added. But he's part of
the creed. What do you mean he's part of the assassin allegedly. I
don't know. I have no idea about the story yet to play the game.
It comes out in November, so you know, when you're listening on
this wasn't the American Revolution. One wasn't that guy native American? Helis Connor?
Connor was native, he was half Native or Native. I believe he
was. He Native and kidnapped and raised by whites. Yeah that sounds right.
I played that in like high school. So it's been so they I
mean like literally like almost none of the assassins are white pretty much. People
were kind of trying to dunk on the dude that was the Welshman that was
a pirate. They're like, go, they put a Welshman in the Caribbean's
like, yeah, that's how pirates work. It makes sense. Or like
they try to say Valhalla, They're like, oh, this fucking Nordic dude
was in fucking England. Yeah, because the fucking Vikings raided England all the
time. The people, the people was complaining about that. Idiots, morons,
idiots. Both sides of the argument are very very Who was the one
guy the Italian and for a while when didn't consider Italians white? Yeah,
yeah, go to a certain but yeah, he got a trilogy at zeal
Okay and he's the best character. But no him are biack biocks that they
should have done a trilogy biack and his horror wife. What what his wife
sucks at the end, just leaves them for no reason. That's shitty kind
of the Garson dad, there's no reason for us to be together anymore.
That happens a lot. Yeah, well, it's really hard to reconcile a
dead child, very difficult. Yeah. I feel for anyone has to go
through that. That's not shitty, that's just like I get it. Yeah,
I'd be like, hey, if you if you want to go on
to the earth, babe, you get to kill Caesar at the end.
I get it, But you don't get to do it as biock. You
get to be I forget his wife's name, but she kills She's one of
the people to stab Caesar. Ah bitch. Actually he deserved it. No
one deserved getting stabed more than Caesar. Yeah, he's better. Is a
porcupine? Yeah yeah, Cleopatra's in the game too, I mean yeah.
Typically, all these characters that have any historical relevance, they're usually usually NPCs
or people you interact with throughout the games. People just get upset about anything.
It doesn't matter. It's the same. It's the game is probably gonna
be dope. I don't care how woke it is. They're now getting upset
over things that the people they hate used to get upset about. Yes,
yeah, it's like cancel culture, like flipped. Yes, that's a giant
pendulum. It's like already pre orders and everything are just like astronomy because most
people don't care. Yeah, no, we keep putting mics and dumbasses faces.
Yeah, I actually enjoyed. You know the term for that, No,
I really love it. It's called nut picking. Oh I love that
little play on words. Yeah, the nuts. But it's fun. It's
fine, Like it is fun to me. It's you're just gonna because you
just see what they say and you're like, I don't know. That seems
like a really uh irrational double standardy set of rules to lit by that might
come back to bite you back about us and then like immediately it always does.
It's like the honor coach. Yeah, anyway, that's Yosca. Do
you believe he was a samurai? I believe in magic. I think it
was too quick for him to fully achieve samurai status. I think he had
an elevated status for sure, though by carrying the blade. You know,
people say he was a retainer whatever. Here I mean he was definitely Yeah,
I mean there is. There's plenty of times throughout human history, throughout
a number of societies where a high ranking person who has the ability to confer
a title on someone that they just are enamored with, uh or or they're
just caught crazy like they're the person with power is crazy and just like uh,
I mean one Roman Empire emperor named like a horse or something, your
a successor? Was it nero? I brought him, he made him a
senator. Believe yeah, yeah, okay whatever, so that it's very plausible,
extremely plausible. Was like infatuated with this man that he would be like,
yeah, you can have that statisfuck it. Yes, so yeah,
I believe it. I'm on top, I'm kingpin here. Yeah, like
I'm gonna do it. I believe he now do I do? I believe
he did. I don't know what was required by like a normal rich person
in Japan to be a samurai. He obviously didn't go through all that.
But do I believe he had the title conferred on him in some sort of
semi uh whatever way like semi yeah, yes, sure. Anyway. My
biggest problem with it is Ubisoff is uncreative. There's like, oh yeah,
we'll go with IP. It's like create your own IP guys, create your
own characters. You've done it this whole time. Yeah yeah, but you
know they got the Internet all blaze about it. No, that's good,
it's good marketing because at some point too, it does get competitive. It's
like games now aren't even seventy dollars or sixty dollars or like one hundred and
thirty if you pay for the whole package. It's crazy, dude, they're
just trying to charge as much as pup. There's no reason for it,
no reason trying to get everybody on that tea that subscription basis. Because by
the way, what did they I understand that they're still they have to pay
for like the labor and all that stuff creating the game, but there's no
physical product anymore. And they turn over these games so fast, especially Ubisoft
in these Assassin Creed games, that they're not really putting as much effort as
they used to. Video games used to be much better. So it's like,
I mean, look at GTA, like it takes some ten years,
but there's a reason why it takes ten years, and like billions of dollars.
Yeah, they push the envelope of the console. They have too that
they're working out where. So you're saying Ubisoft is going like the Marvel route
where the CGI is turning things out. Yeah, I'm how uh you know,
I hope Feudal Japan's not that case. I hope it looks good.
I hope it's you know, not you know, the worst story. What
would you like to see? What era would you like to see? It
is? It's feudal Japan. That's the one you wanted. No, that's
yeah. I mean like if age could get any era, it's a good
time. Okay, yeah, Because you don't want it to be strictly Japan.
You want to have some type of outside presence, so like the Portuguese,
the Italians, right right right, and I they're they're explaining for why
they picked the Gasca as the main character. Is they want you to play
as somebody see in Japan as an outsider. Sure, sure, from their
perspective, that's how they're justifying it. Nice little whatever. That's a nice
explanation, that's fine. But really, what I think we know is that
they wanted clicks. Black dudes love Japan first off. Okay, all right,
let's let's address the fucking elephant in the room. As much as white
people appropriate black culture, black people love Japanese culture. They love anime,
love anime. Never met a black man who hated Dragon ball Z growing growing
up, Like, I like the all the black kids in my grade school
loved, loved animate in high school too, fucking loved like yeah, dragon
ball Z and shit like that. So the white kids, white kids did
too, but like like appropriating the fuck out of their culture. Though,
they'll punch a Japanese kid in the face, but boy, did they want
to stay over and watch the cartoon. They'd rather command mayhem. Yeah,
like, you know, they'd rather give him a spirit bomb than punch him.
It's just like a sweet that's for whatever reason, it's just the thing
they became drawn to. Hey, man, it's cool. I think appropriation
is the compliment personally it is. Yeah, oh hey, this thing is
cool. I'd like to try it too, Yeah right, hust yeah,
no fuck that, I mean, hell, supbird headdresses get at Coachella,
you know, yes, yeah, it's polite swinging back. It'll swing back
too far, but there's gonna be a beautiful middle ground. Yeah, for
this little for like a year where it's like everything's great. It's this summer.
Yeah yeah, frat boys summer. It was the Arab spring. Now
it's frat boy summer. I don't know if you notice they started rocking crow
Kies again just because of it. Yeah, yeah, Well you gotta put
the cust coast is in there to Yeah, I gotta get some coasts,
especially now that you're working the water. I know I have a pair of
bus ass coastes I gotta get repaired. But that's for another time. Anyway,
that's the episode. That's Yoske. Who is today's Hitler. It's not
really one jesuits what I'm just kidding. I guess the Portuguese that enslaved Joske
to begin with. Yeah, I mean Portuguese always a good one. You
could also say, I don't know, just fake. I'm say anyone that
kicks down a door to see somebody is hitler. People. Anybody that crushed
another human being, yeah, to see a black guy. Yeah, Yeah,
that's that's them. That's today's hitler. Human human crush crowds would so
much. Actually, I learned that it's definitely better to be a slave than
to stick a fucking knife into your belly and drag it up through your body
until it gets to your heart and then someone cuts your head off, especially
after you've been trained specifically to be able to escape and fight. I think
I learned that bureaucracy has been around, just red tape, It's been around
forever. There's always forms. You got a file. But yeah, oh
I forgot, that's what I learned. I learned I probably wouldn't murder that
much because of the amount of paperwork that comes with Yeah, none of them
consequences, just the consequences of the paperwork, just inconveniences. Really right.
Yeah, if you want someone to not do something, make it me.
I mean, think about it. It's like click through rate, right,
every extra click loses fifty percent of your customers or whatever. Yeah, and
all I have to do is just go. And then I got an additional
question for today's episode. Do you think Jaske put up Will Chamberlain numbers?
Probably not? How much? How much do you think he fucked? Probably
like people, okay, pros or just randos he had like servants do I
don't care, of course, it don't matter, okay, because they have
their little tea houses. I'm then then probably a lot. And I think
just the nature of him being so unique, I bet women came out.
How long was he in the court? It was like about fifteen months,
okay, just because he was there for two years, but he was only
the dudes like, and he was getting scrubbed so much. Do we count
that? Do we? Yeah? All right, I think he was probably
averaging twenty a month. I agree with that. Yeah, that sounds about
right. So Will claims ten thousand in a lifetime, that's insane. So
just we gotta do rate stats. Then what was Will counting? To?
What was Will counting? I believe, well ten thousand individuals? Is he
read Wilt's biography? Is he counting Bray? Is he going full penny or
is he going like, oh yeah really? But so he was a Globe
trotter and he did world tours. So if you also played pro basketball before
he went to Kansas under a alias, let's say you're sexually active for fifty
years, fifteen to sixty five. Okay, how many women did Will sleep
with? One hundred thousand, ten thousand, ten thousand? Okay, great,
perfect, there's either ten or twenty I think let's go with ten.
Okay, there's in those fifty years, there's eighteen thousand, two hundred and
fifty days. Oh so it's not even one a day. Yeah, oh
okay, okay, it might have been twenty thousand, So that's believable too,
though with that one day. Yeah, like especially like a half to
a day, you'd probably knock out, like waye, twenty thousand, Well
it's twenty he said, Yeah, it's twenty, So twenty thousand for Wilt.
Oh but that's easy with eighteen thousand whatever days because like you could knock
out like one hundred probably in like two nights in LA. So let's say
she's one and a half a day. So could yaske pull out one and
a half a day? He could two he could have because yeah, no
Will camage orgy. But what there's four people that he's having sex with.
He counts one session. Here's the big Here's the thing though, is that
like, did who had the bigger pool of available women? Wilt Chamberlain.
I don't know. I would have to say Will chamber Will Chamberlain easily because
maybe traveled, maybe Yake. You know, he's not going to bang a
peasant or maybe he gets to bang in my bang a lot of So.
I mean, if Yaske is doing samurai stuff, he could be going like
eight to day. But do you want to count that? I don't know
what you mean by that rape mm hmm. I'm sure if they were allowed
to legally murder people in lower classes, then what do you think they were
also allowed to do? I don't know. He had a humble beginning,
so maybe he felt for the working class. You know, sometimes the greatest
zeal It is a convert, and the greatest is someone who came from nothing.
Yeah, but all right, that's fair. I would say rate stats.
I think he could match Will Okay, yeah, because obviously not counting,
he didn't hit it counting no, yeah no, I mean he's only
there for fifteen months really under the no Monagae. So anyway, Nomanagae apparently
too was like it was him getting marked. Was in the right, I
believe it. Apparently he unified Japan, but he was also he's bad dude.
Yeah, people unify country usually started taking over a little bit, getting
a little loose with their power. Anyway, that's Yaske. Uh leave review
in our Apple ratings five stars, please and thank you if you can leave
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