Welcome to Second Listen Saturday on the Parenting Roundabout podcast, where we share some
fun moments from a past episode for your weekend listening pleasure. Look for new
episodes every Monday through Friday. Helping kids make big decisions. So with your
kids either college bound or in college, you know, choosing the major and
degree program and career path is a big deal. Here at my house,
we have sort of strayed off of that path to them, you know,
to the gully of any job I can get is a okay, But y'all
still have hope. So what's going on with that with your kids? Actually,
I think the day that this releases is the day that my daughter will
be moving into her university or at least with throw pillows. So she's having
these last minute little anxiety attacks about did I choose right degree? Program?
Is going to be too hard? Is it going to be you know,
am I going to be able to keep up? And is it really what
I want to do? And it's challenging because um, and this is like
the kind of the fine line that I've always walked with both of my kids.
Because then I have a son who is absolutely passionate about music and playing
the guitar and um, you know, everything related to music. He just
it's his life. But then he also knows that the chances of living a
productive life but economically stable life or slim. So I've kind of walked this
fine line with both kids of like, well, there's your passion, but
then there's you have to find something that will help you be economically stable and
um, and I'm not saying you have to be rolling in the money,
but something that will help you sustain healthy and enjoyable life, right, something
that will allow you to have health benefits and dental envision and a retirement plan
and all that kind of stuff. So it's been really hard trying to,
especially with my son, trying to guide him in, you know, in
a direction where he can have a career but then also enjoy his passion.
My daughter, you know, she's just kind of starting on that path.
And it's been challenging them just to expect them at this age to know what
they want. Ye that's hard, right, Like, and and just also
knowing too, like from my own life experiences, what jobs are going to
be challenging and what jobs maybe a little bit easier in terms of work hours
and raising a family and um living. I mean some jobs you can only
do in the city, some jobs or rural like you know, there's so
many different aspects to it that they're not aware of yet, right, So
it's really hard to hold my tongue sometimes because I don't want to be oh
my mom made me do this, right. Yeah. Where I see it
with my younger son is you know, he has in his brain that he
really wants to go to the Air Force Academy, and it is like harder
than Harvard to get into the Air Force Academy, the service academies. It's
it's extremely difficult to get in. So I, on the one hand,
one to be like, good for you, what a great goal. On
the other hand, up you got a backup and he knows that it's hard
to get in. But you know, I just I don't want to crush
him. Um. But I also I have my don so and then my
older one. You know, she's starting to apply to colleges and and she's
like, well they want me to put like which which college? You know
she was having she was sending me screen chats and like is this one I
want? Is this one? How? I'm like, no, that's a
graduate program that is about what you want. Trying to find the right I'm
like, just College of Arts and Sciences, Do they have something like that,
because that's probably what you want, and then you can undeclared her undecided,
but it felt so it felt so permanent to her. Yeah, she
just was very intimidated by having to make a decision, even if that decision
was just to say undecided major. Yeah, I mean, given the fact
that none of this is really going to matter for two years. Yeah,
I don't know why they put on so much pressure, I know. And
unless you want to do a specialized program like nursing or a certain type of
program that kind of starts right away. Yeah, but most of most of
them you have to do the general education stuff first, right, Yes,
but I know that should be able to Like the one school that we visited
that had a nursing program, you had to apply directly into the nursing program
and you had to you couldn't go back later. Basically they were like,
I think you want to do it, you have to start out there otherwise,
right, just can't. So Luckily that's not her her thing, so
she doesn't have to know that, right, now, yeah, it's it's
a lot, I think, like you said, at this age, to
have to know, yeah, you know, yeah, what you want to
do, it's it's and yeah, there's some kids that that do, but
I feel like that's the minority, right, oh yeah, and even I
mean and like, I was an situation where my parents did intervene when I
was having through university, and unfortunately I worked out. And I'm very grateful
that you did, because I ended up in a career that was well suited
for my personality and what I wanted to do. Originally, I was on
my way to get a degree in Canadian history. Now what will I do
with that? And that's exactly what my dad said, Nicole, what are
you going to do with that degree? And I said, oh, I'll
work in a museum. Okay, but how many museums are there in Canada?
And what are the chances of you getting a job? So why don't
you consider teaching? Mom or dad? Right? And I was like,
but I don't want to teach. It's all I've ever done is work with
kids. And he's like, exactly, it's what you know, you turned
out are good at it. Yeah, it's like what you do it's your
thing, and I was like, okay, and so then I kind of
went down that path and I was like, wow, it's you know,
I loved it. I loved it once I changed over and went into education,
and even now I wouldn't I'm so glad, Like there's nothing else I
would have ever picked for myself. So that worked out well, but I
could potentially see it not working for my kids. Yeah. I mean,
my daughter always wanted to go into you know, it's something related to education,
so she went to community college and got her certificate so that she could
be a pair of professional and then started working in that and it turned out
to be a very bad fit. So she's now pursuing a career in the
in the field of fast food. But with my son, it's like there
was really nothing I mean originally, I mean, I was my responsibility to
pick something for him, and I thought, well, computers will be good.
He kind of likes playing on his computer, so he started in that
in community college, and then that quickly got too technical and he was just
not interested at all. So then we thought, well, he was in
a gardening club and he kind of liked that, so he put him in
the horticulture program, and he immediately failed his first class, just really wasn't
into it. And finally we went up in like kilinary and that was okay,
and he's sort of working related to that, but not you know,
he's not had any luck with jobs that were specifically related to it. So,
you know, I wish they just had a just a general maybe they
did just just go to college and take some classes right and worry about what
you want to do about it, do with it later. Just this feeling
like, oh, we've got to find just exactly the right thing that's going
to launch him into a job was I don't know, not fun, huh.
And I mean for kids who know what they want to do, it's
maybe okay. I mean I when I was a kid, I knew I
was going to be a writer. A writer was all I ever wanted to
do. I was an English major, and then I switched to a literature
major in a program that had a ton of writing, and that was great.
I've worked in that field my whole life. But not too many people
have experience, I don't think, and not too many kids are that And
do they know your kids have been in high school more recently than mine,
and you may know more of what they had do. They do a lot
of career searching in high school. They do a lot of helping direct you
to where you want to go or is it just go to college? You
go to college, go to college, and then once you get their way,
care what you do. Well. They did some with with my kids,
but you know, they started when they were in eighth grade, which
to me is silly, like you know, they're thirteen, Like it's just
but yeah, with the idea being like choose your high school classes, you
know, sort of point you towards what you need or what you what you
might want to be doing later, but I don't know, I think it's
it's early to do that. Um. And you know, like for again,
going back to my son, he he thinks he wants to be in
the Air Force Academy and study like aeronautical engineering, but yet he does terrible
in math and he does well in humanities type stuff. So I'm like,
can we like play to your strengths here, you know? So, but
he doesn't want to hear it, right, So I don't know, I
don't know how that's gonna go. Yeah, I don't know it's as parents,
you feel like it's their life. They should be able to choose,
but it's your thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, so you should get
to have a say yeah. And also you're you're a grown up and you
had right life experience that they don't have, you know, yeah, Or
you can see things like I can see that he's better at these kind of
classes. Yeah, and he doesn't want to see it. I can see
it. Yeah. Well maybe maybe the first time he takes one of those
classes in college, you will become aware. College was way harder than I
expected. I don't know how it is now, but I was pretty full
of myself as a super good student. I figured I could just take any
class and I would do great. And the first the first quarter at UC
Santa Barbara was an eye opener I had. I think I had taken some
upper class classes because I'm smart, you know, And no, a very
bad idea didn't work out so well. I do not. I don't.
I don't know why they'll let me take it other than I just they had
seen other people kids like me and thought she'll learn right. So that was
exactly. It was tough. So wow m,