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Welcome to Second Listen Saturday on the
Parenting Roundabout podcast, where we share some

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fun moments from a past episode for
your weekend listening pleasure. Look for new

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episodes every Monday through Friday. Helping
kids make big decisions. So with your

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kids either college bound or in college, you know, choosing the major and

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degree program and career path is a
big deal. Here at my house,

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we have sort of strayed off of
that path to them, you know,

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to the gully of any job I
can get is a okay, But y'all

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still have hope. So what's going
on with that with your kids? Actually,

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I think the day that this releases
is the day that my daughter will

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be moving into her university or at
least with throw pillows. So she's having

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these last minute little anxiety attacks about
did I choose right degree? Program?

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Is going to be too hard?
Is it going to be you know,

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am I going to be able to
keep up? And is it really what

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I want to do? And it's
challenging because um, and this is like

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the kind of the fine line that
I've always walked with both of my kids.

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Because then I have a son who
is absolutely passionate about music and playing

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the guitar and um, you know, everything related to music. He just

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it's his life. But then he
also knows that the chances of living a

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productive life but economically stable life or
slim. So I've kind of walked this

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fine line with both kids of like, well, there's your passion, but

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then there's you have to find something
that will help you be economically stable and

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um, and I'm not saying you
have to be rolling in the money,

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but something that will help you sustain
healthy and enjoyable life, right, something

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that will allow you to have health
benefits and dental envision and a retirement plan

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and all that kind of stuff.
So it's been really hard trying to,

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especially with my son, trying to
guide him in, you know, in

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a direction where he can have a
career but then also enjoy his passion.

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My daughter, you know, she's
just kind of starting on that path.

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And it's been challenging them just to
expect them at this age to know what

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they want. Ye that's hard,
right, Like, and and just also

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knowing too, like from my own
life experiences, what jobs are going to

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be challenging and what jobs maybe a
little bit easier in terms of work hours

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and raising a family and um living. I mean some jobs you can only

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do in the city, some jobs
or rural like you know, there's so

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many different aspects to it that they're
not aware of yet, right, So

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it's really hard to hold my tongue
sometimes because I don't want to be oh

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my mom made me do this,
right. Yeah. Where I see it

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with my younger son is you know, he has in his brain that he

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really wants to go to the Air
Force Academy, and it is like harder

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than Harvard to get into the Air
Force Academy, the service academies. It's

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it's extremely difficult to get in.
So I, on the one hand,

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one to be like, good for
you, what a great goal. On

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the other hand, up you got
a backup and he knows that it's hard

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to get in. But you know, I just I don't want to crush

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him. Um. But I also
I have my don so and then my

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older one. You know, she's
starting to apply to colleges and and she's

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like, well they want me to
put like which which college? You know

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she was having she was sending me
screen chats and like is this one I

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want? Is this one? How? I'm like, no, that's a

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graduate program that is about what you
want. Trying to find the right I'm

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like, just College of Arts and
Sciences, Do they have something like that,

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because that's probably what you want,
and then you can undeclared her undecided,

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but it felt so it felt so
permanent to her. Yeah, she

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just was very intimidated by having to
make a decision, even if that decision

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was just to say undecided major.
Yeah, I mean, given the fact

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that none of this is really going
to matter for two years. Yeah,

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I don't know why they put on
so much pressure, I know. And

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unless you want to do a specialized
program like nursing or a certain type of

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program that kind of starts right away. Yeah, but most of most of

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them you have to do the general
education stuff first, right, Yes,

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but I know that should be able
to Like the one school that we visited

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that had a nursing program, you
had to apply directly into the nursing program

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and you had to you couldn't go
back later. Basically they were like,

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I think you want to do it, you have to start out there otherwise,

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right, just can't. So Luckily
that's not her her thing, so

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she doesn't have to know that,
right, now, yeah, it's it's

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a lot, I think, like
you said, at this age, to

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have to know, yeah, you
know, yeah, what you want to

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do, it's it's and yeah,
there's some kids that that do, but

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I feel like that's the minority,
right, oh yeah, and even I

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mean and like, I was an
situation where my parents did intervene when I

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was having through university, and unfortunately
I worked out. And I'm very grateful

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that you did, because I ended
up in a career that was well suited

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for my personality and what I wanted
to do. Originally, I was on

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my way to get a degree in
Canadian history. Now what will I do

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with that? And that's exactly what
my dad said, Nicole, what are

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you going to do with that degree? And I said, oh, I'll

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work in a museum. Okay,
but how many museums are there in Canada?

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And what are the chances of you
getting a job? So why don't

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you consider teaching? Mom or dad? Right? And I was like,

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but I don't want to teach.
It's all I've ever done is work with

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kids. And he's like, exactly, it's what you know, you turned

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out are good at it. Yeah, it's like what you do it's your

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thing, and I was like,
okay, and so then I kind of

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went down that path and I was
like, wow, it's you know,

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I loved it. I loved it
once I changed over and went into education,

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and even now I wouldn't I'm so
glad, Like there's nothing else I

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would have ever picked for myself.
So that worked out well, but I

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could potentially see it not working for
my kids. Yeah. I mean,

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my daughter always wanted to go into
you know, it's something related to education,

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so she went to community college and
got her certificate so that she could

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be a pair of professional and then
started working in that and it turned out

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to be a very bad fit.
So she's now pursuing a career in the

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in the field of fast food.
But with my son, it's like there

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was really nothing I mean originally,
I mean, I was my responsibility to

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pick something for him, and I
thought, well, computers will be good.

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He kind of likes playing on his
computer, so he started in that

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in community college, and then that
quickly got too technical and he was just

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not interested at all. So then
we thought, well, he was in

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a gardening club and he kind of
liked that, so he put him in

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the horticulture program, and he immediately
failed his first class, just really wasn't

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into it. And finally we went
up in like kilinary and that was okay,

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and he's sort of working related to
that, but not you know,

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he's not had any luck with jobs
that were specifically related to it. So,

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you know, I wish they just
had a just a general maybe they

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did just just go to college and
take some classes right and worry about what

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you want to do about it,
do with it later. Just this feeling

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like, oh, we've got to
find just exactly the right thing that's going

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to launch him into a job was
I don't know, not fun, huh.

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And I mean for kids who know
what they want to do, it's

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maybe okay. I mean I when
I was a kid, I knew I

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was going to be a writer.
A writer was all I ever wanted to

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do. I was an English major, and then I switched to a literature

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major in a program that had a
ton of writing, and that was great.

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I've worked in that field my whole
life. But not too many people

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have experience, I don't think,
and not too many kids are that And

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do they know your kids have been
in high school more recently than mine,

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and you may know more of what
they had do. They do a lot

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of career searching in high school.
They do a lot of helping direct you

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to where you want to go or
is it just go to college? You

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go to college, go to college, and then once you get their way,

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care what you do. Well.
They did some with with my kids,

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but you know, they started when
they were in eighth grade, which

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to me is silly, like you
know, they're thirteen, Like it's just

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but yeah, with the idea being
like choose your high school classes, you

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know, sort of point you towards
what you need or what you what you

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might want to be doing later,
but I don't know, I think it's

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it's early to do that. Um. And you know, like for again,

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going back to my son, he
he thinks he wants to be in

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the Air Force Academy and study like
aeronautical engineering, but yet he does terrible

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in math and he does well in
humanities type stuff. So I'm like,

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can we like play to your strengths
here, you know? So, but

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he doesn't want to hear it,
right, So I don't know, I

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don't know how that's gonna go.
Yeah, I don't know it's as parents,

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you feel like it's their life.
They should be able to choose,

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but it's your thousands and thousands and
thousands of dollars, so you should get

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to have a say yeah. And
also you're you're a grown up and you

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had right life experience that they don't
have, you know, yeah, Or

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you can see things like I can
see that he's better at these kind of

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classes. Yeah, and he doesn't
want to see it. I can see

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it. Yeah. Well maybe maybe
the first time he takes one of those

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classes in college, you will become
aware. College was way harder than I

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expected. I don't know how it
is now, but I was pretty full

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of myself as a super good student. I figured I could just take any

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class and I would do great.
And the first the first quarter at UC

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Santa Barbara was an eye opener I
had. I think I had taken some

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upper class classes because I'm smart,
you know, And no, a very

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bad idea didn't work out so well. I do not. I don't.

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I don't know why they'll let me
take it other than I just they had

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seen other people kids like me and
thought she'll learn right. So that was

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exactly. It was tough. So
wow m,