1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,560 Well, the first thing is you got to figure out where you are right. 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,440 You gotta like just like with anything, if you're trying to go from 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:07,960 LA to New York, you got to figure out, Wait, where am 4 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,560 I am at the bus station? I'm at the airport. So with money 5 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,199 mindset, need to figure out what are the things that I learned, What 6 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:16,879 did my parents teach me? What did I take on to be my truth? 7 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,000 And is it working for me? So that we can look and say, 8 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,000 oh, I have the story that I'm never going to be enough? 9 00:00:22,199 --> 00:00:26,679 Is that working for me? You are listening to Carrie Letz's Financial Survival Network, 10 00:00:26,839 --> 00:00:31,839 where you get valuable information you just can't find anywhere else to thrive in 11 00:00:31,839 --> 00:00:37,320 today's trying times. You need the Financial Survival Network now more than ever. 12 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:43,600 Go to Financial Survivalnetwork dot com and get your free newsletter and gift. Financial 13 00:00:43,719 --> 00:00:53,920 Survival Network now more than ever, and welcome. This is Financial Survival Network 14 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,119 you are listening to or watching. My name is Carrie lust You're a host, 15 00:00:58,479 --> 00:01:03,640 and hey, we got a special guest for you today, Bob Wheeler. 16 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:07,959 The money nerve. You know, I find people do have a lot 17 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:11,280 of nerve when it comes to money. Especially when I expect to get paid 18 00:01:11,359 --> 00:01:15,079 Bob. But hey, welcome to the show. Thanks for having mckerry. 19 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,400 Great to be here. Hey, So first, what is the money nerve? 20 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,920 I don't think it's quite what I describe, but how do you find 21 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:26,959 it? So money nerve? You know, we react to money viscerally, 22 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,719 Right, we win a lottery ticket, we're like, whoa, we bounce 23 00:01:30,719 --> 00:01:36,680 a check, we feel it in our gut, and people have heart attacks, 24 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,640 we have health issues. The money nerve is that physical feeling of where 25 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:45,000 we're holding our joy and pain around money, and most of it's pain. 26 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:53,079 So where does the pain come from? Is this a youthful stuff? Trauma? 27 00:01:53,719 --> 00:01:56,760 Where is it? A lot of it starts as kids. You know, 28 00:01:56,959 --> 00:01:59,599 if you're the kid getting the free lunch and other kids are telling you, 29 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,400 wow, you're the poor kid, or you can't wear designer clothes, 30 00:02:02,599 --> 00:02:06,959 or you're the kid that's always getting taken to school in a limo. Right, 31 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,360 we start seeing that stuff early on and our parents, you know, 32 00:02:09,439 --> 00:02:14,800 you ask for a toy, you're greedy or we can't afford that or whatever 33 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,240 you want. So we start getting these messages we can talk about money. 34 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:22,240 We can't talk about money it's shameful. It's good. Rich people are greedy, 35 00:02:22,719 --> 00:02:27,479 rich people are wonderful. We start making up stories and then we base 36 00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:30,759 our life choices on that, so it turns down to beliefs then, right, 37 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:37,439 yeah, mindset, mindset, And it's really hard to change your mindset, 38 00:02:37,479 --> 00:02:40,520 isn't it. Well it's hard. I mean it's doable, and sometimes, 39 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:44,879 like there's certain things I still have a scarcity mindset. Sometimes I'm like, 40 00:02:44,879 --> 00:02:46,120 oh my god, there's not enough food in the house. I need 41 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:52,080 six warehouses. I can laugh at it, but I still have that huh 42 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:53,960 is there enough? All right? So I don't let it guide me. 43 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:58,759 I don't let it, you know, drive my life. But I'm aware. 44 00:02:59,199 --> 00:03:01,240 Yeah, it's there. It's always there, lurking in the past. 45 00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:07,240 So what is the best way to overcome it, to rise beyond your mindset? 46 00:03:07,439 --> 00:03:09,560 Well, the first thing is you got to figure out where you are, 47 00:03:09,719 --> 00:03:12,879 right. You got to like, just like with anything, if you're 48 00:03:12,879 --> 00:03:15,599 trying to go from LA to New York, you got to figure out, 49 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:17,080 Wait, where am I am at the bus station? I'm at the airport. 50 00:03:17,159 --> 00:03:20,919 So with money mindset, need to figure out what are the things that 51 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,400 I learned, What did my parents teach me what did I take on to 52 00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:27,639 be my truth? And is it working for me? So that we can 53 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,919 look and say, oh, I have the story that I'm never going to 54 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,400 be enough? Is that working for me? No, I'm going to push 55 00:03:31,439 --> 00:03:36,159 the boundaries and I'm gonna start doing things to get my confidence up. It 56 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,080 might be that I'm totally happy hiding in the bedroom and never speaking to another 57 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:44,960 soul. Nothing wrong with that. We're not here though. Hey, look, 58 00:03:45,199 --> 00:03:47,240 you can play it safe, right, and then you don't grow. 59 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,719 So this is your helping people grow? Then? In effect, right, 60 00:03:51,919 --> 00:03:54,000 absolutely, if we don't feel the pain, we're not going to grow, 61 00:03:54,800 --> 00:04:00,960 all right, So how do you get people to feel the pain? So 62 00:04:00,479 --> 00:04:03,840 what I do? Either, like if I'm in tax meetings with clients and 63 00:04:03,919 --> 00:04:08,319 I do a lot of the hurtie work in my tax sessions, you know, 64 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:11,120 I might just ask people what's going on? When you know, I 65 00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:13,400 saw that you sort of reacted to this, what's going on? I might 66 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,879 explore their stories and just give them a safe place to say, yeah, 67 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,000 my dad used to tell me I was an idiot, or whatever it might 68 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:23,199 be. If I do a lot of workshops where we go in and we 69 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:28,560 do experiential things about money and processes with other people, and people get to 70 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,839 sort of feel into oh wow, I really have resistance to this, or 71 00:04:32,879 --> 00:04:38,240 I really like blaming my parents. I don't want to take responsibility, and 72 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:44,519 so I do different things to try and shake up the emotions to get people 73 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,519 really starting to think about, oh, how does gender play a role, 74 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:54,199 How does my sexuality play a role, How does my economic status play a 75 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,240 role, how does my religion play a role, any of those things to 76 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,279 just start Oh wow, that had impact. That that impact. Okay, 77 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:05,519 so so we get to the bottom of this, and but then, you 78 00:05:05,519 --> 00:05:09,519 know, there's an old joke. I know, we're both into comedy, 79 00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:15,079 but this guy's going to his psychiatrist because he's in New York City. He's 80 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,839 afraid to go on the subway. He just can't work it up. So 81 00:05:17,959 --> 00:05:24,720 finally, you know, he goes goes down to the subway. First train 82 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:28,360 passes, he can't get on, the second train, the third, he 83 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,319 leaves the subway, goes back to his shrink and says, you know, 84 00:05:31,439 --> 00:05:38,160 doctor, I'm still afraid of subways. I mean, a bad joke, 85 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:41,639 but it's a psychiatrist joke. So you got to expected to be bad, 86 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:46,040 right exactly. Yeah, It's like that guy goes on the subway and he's 87 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:54,560 just he's wrapped in a cellophane around his his midsection, and the shrink says 88 00:05:54,600 --> 00:06:00,839 to him, hey, I can see your nuts. So anyway, but 89 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:04,600 you know so, but growth is hard. I mean it is for myself, 90 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:09,839 I know, like I, you know, to stop doing certain things 91 00:06:09,959 --> 00:06:14,920 or to start doing other things that you want to do. Uh, you 92 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:17,439 know, I don't know what what actually moves me to do it, other 93 00:06:17,519 --> 00:06:24,959 than the desire not to fail, or you know, or knowing there's something 94 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:30,000 wrong and I need to make a change. Yeah. I mean usually when 95 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,439 the heat gets too hot, we move. When we start to get really 96 00:06:32,519 --> 00:06:35,600 uncomfortable, we want to get out of it. So as long as we're 97 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:41,360 comfortable, there's no need to look at things and move away. But the 98 00:06:41,439 --> 00:06:44,839 minute we're starting to say, oh, this has impacting me in a way 99 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,560 that doesn't feel good, I think I'm going to move over here and see 100 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,319 if it's different. So it's sort of like you have to go through the 101 00:06:49,319 --> 00:06:53,079 fire. You can't go around it, right, You got to you gotta 102 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:57,560 feel the pain to be able to move on from it. Yeah, yeah, 103 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:02,240 I couldn't to agree. I couldn't agree with you more so, Uh, 104 00:07:02,519 --> 00:07:08,319 okay, So you obviously dealt with a lot of people that have these 105 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:13,560 issues. I guess we all do to a greater or lesser extent. Like 106 00:07:14,399 --> 00:07:18,839 what was like the hardest case you ever had getting somebody to really really make 107 00:07:18,879 --> 00:07:24,199 the move? You know? I think one of the cases were actually and 108 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,639 I didn't ultimately get them to make the move. And that's why I think 109 00:07:28,639 --> 00:07:31,399 it was so hard. They had their own business, they were an architect, 110 00:07:31,879 --> 00:07:36,639 and they were bleeding money. It was failing, and we looked at 111 00:07:36,639 --> 00:07:39,560 all the numbers and I'm like, you're going to be out of business in 112 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:45,519 a year and a half. He got this incredible offer, six figures high, 113 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,279 six figures, lots of vacation. It was going to pay off everything 114 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:53,199 and actually give him a lot of freedom, and he said, yeah, 115 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,360 I can't do it. My parents are going to be really disappointed if I 116 00:07:56,399 --> 00:07:59,920 close my business. And I said, you're going to close your business anyway, 117 00:08:00,839 --> 00:08:03,319 and he's like, well it has to happen to me. I can't. 118 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:07,399 I can't actively close my business. And so I watched him just completely 119 00:08:07,439 --> 00:08:11,959 fail because he didn't want to disappoint. He didn't want to disappoint his parents 120 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:16,959 rather than have an honest conversation with his parents and say this is what I 121 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:22,040 need you to do, And so he chose to. He ran the business 122 00:08:22,079 --> 00:08:26,000 into the ground. And he had such an opportunity, and a lot of 123 00:08:26,079 --> 00:08:30,720 us have opportunity and we just don't want to see it because it's scary or 124 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:35,399 uncomfortable or somebody might judge us. Yeah, oh, that's really a sad 125 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:41,159 story. It's a sad story. I have the happy story now, you 126 00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:45,320 know. I had a client who was about one hundred thousand dollars in debt. 127 00:08:45,639 --> 00:08:50,840 She worked in she works in the entertainment industry. She would do clothing 128 00:08:50,159 --> 00:08:52,440 for costumes and all that stuff, and she would put everything on a credit 129 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:56,759 card because she was getting miles, you know, and then get reimbursed. 130 00:08:56,799 --> 00:09:00,840 Well, a couple of studios didn't pay her. She had to pay the 131 00:09:00,879 --> 00:09:03,480 debt. When I showed her how she could do it differently. Within a 132 00:09:03,519 --> 00:09:07,120 couple of years, she saved up money, bought a house, paid off 133 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,639 all her debt, and every time she gets a tax bill and she ows 134 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,960 forty or fifty thousand dollars, she's like I'm so excited to pay all this 135 00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:18,519 money because I'm making money. And she loves paying taxes because we're not paying 136 00:09:18,879 --> 00:09:22,320 the most taxes, but she knows she's making money and her life is good. 137 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,200 Hey, you gotta you know. That's always like, oh God, 138 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:30,000 I made it, all this money, all these taxes. But hey, 139 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,840 you made all this money, right, you made all this money. It's 140 00:09:31,879 --> 00:09:35,440 a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing, all 141 00:09:35,519 --> 00:09:41,919 right. So what are three things that anybody can do to help rein in 142 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:48,159 or make positives that money nerve they can make a decision today, I'm going 143 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:52,080 to start doing things differently, even though in the past I was scared. 144 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:58,360 They can immediately start saving five bucks a week and putting it away just to 145 00:09:58,399 --> 00:10:01,600 start to see that that they can actually create a new habit. And the 146 00:10:01,639 --> 00:10:05,600 third thing they can do, I think it's really important to let yourself off 147 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,279 the hook. Actually forgive yourself for your past mistakes and say, yeah, 148 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:13,240 I did that in the past. I did the best with what I had, 149 00:10:13,799 --> 00:10:16,399 and now I know better, I'm going to do better. That's probably 150 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:20,799 the hardest thing to do, is to forgive yourself your stupidity, right, 151 00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:26,159 Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, that's a tough 152 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:33,519 one. All right. Well, hey, you know it's hard to get 153 00:10:33,519 --> 00:10:37,240 beyond those mistakes that you make. But you wouldn't be the person you are 154 00:10:37,279 --> 00:10:39,519 if you didn't make those mistakes, would you. No? Absolutely, And 155 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:45,240 if you can convert those into teachable moments instead of fails, right, then 156 00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:48,679 we never fail. We're just constantly learning. Well, I always say, 157 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:54,279 you're never a failure unless you believe you're a failure, right right, absolutely, 158 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,799 all right, keep getting back up. Okay, Well, hey, 159 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:05,720 you're quite inspiring. Like what you have to say. Just tell us about 160 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:13,759 comedy and how using comedy can make you more effective in any business, any 161 00:11:13,879 --> 00:11:18,320 venture, relationship that you're in. Well, for me, comedy is a 162 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:22,960 great icebreaker when I'm trying to work with clients, tax clients and things are 163 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,080 tense, I can throw out a joke. I can tell a funny story 164 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:31,000 that might happen to be paralleled with their life, and they can hear that 165 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,639 story because it's not them, and they'll say, wait a minute, that's 166 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:39,440 me. Oh maybe right, So for me, comedy it also transcends language. 167 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,639 I've traveled a lot, and I have been to countries where nobody speaks 168 00:11:41,639 --> 00:11:46,600 English, but I can be playful, I can joke, and it just 169 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:50,399 is a connector to a lot of people when we're willing to say, yeah, 170 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:54,159 I want to hear, I want to have some fun, like I 171 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,320 want to do things. I want to accomplish things, and for me, 172 00:11:56,480 --> 00:12:00,600 the whole purpose when I'm doing business, when I'm doing any thing, I 173 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,879 always ask myself, am I having fun? Because if I'm not having fun, 174 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,320 what's the point? Yeah? I so agree with you. When it 175 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:13,960 starts not becoming fun, then it's time to move on. And I've actually 176 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,519 done that in a few businesses before. Hey, people are definitely going to 177 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:22,759 want to find out more about you, Bob, your podcast, your book, 178 00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:26,519 tell us how we connect with you on the internet. Yeah. Absolutely. 179 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:31,240 It is the money Nerve dot com. The Money Nerve, not nerd. 180 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:35,200 I'm a nerd, but it's the Money Nerve dot Com. And my 181 00:12:35,279 --> 00:12:39,080 podcast is money you should ask. All of that is on the website, 182 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,480 The Money Nerve, my books. I've written a couple of books, the 183 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:45,159 children's book and the Money Nerve Book, and we've got a lot of free 184 00:12:45,159 --> 00:12:48,639 resources. We always love talking to people about money and their mindset. All 185 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,039 right, Hey, this is a great having you on. Really appreciate the 186 00:12:52,519 --> 00:12:58,200 kind words, the inspiration. It's definitely inspirational. No matter how low you 187 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,080 fall, you could always go lower, but you can always raise yourself up 188 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:05,159 as well. If you got a question for Bob or myself, shoot me 189 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:09,639 an email kl at Carrie LUTs dot com. Link to Bob's site. You'll 190 00:13:09,639 --> 00:13:15,120 find it in the show notes to this interview on Financial Survival Network dot com 191 00:13:15,519 --> 00:13:18,840 and please sign up for a free newsletter when you click it. Bob, 192 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:22,360 Total pleasure. Thanks so much for stopping by. We'll have you on again. 193 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,879 Great Carrie. Thanks, have a great rest of your week. Thanks 194 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:31,399 for listening to Carrie Letz's Financial Survival Network, your solution to today's trying times. 195 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:37,279 For the latest, go to Financial Survivalnetwork dot com. Financial Survival Network 196 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:39,120 now more than ever