Hey guys, Welcome and welcome back to the podcast where your friends Maddie and
Lauren and we aren't back for another episode. You guys love or seem to
love relationship related episodes, so we're super excited to be back with another one.
Not that either of us have that much relationship expertise or experience, I
guess, but we're here to share our thoughts on some relationship related rules.
I'm very curious to hear what you have to say about this, Lauren,
Yeah, I saw this on TikTok a little while ago. There was a
sound going around that couples would react to and they would say whether they thought
the behaviors listed we're cheating or not cheating, So that's kind of what inspired
this episode. We also saw someone else do something similar, But yeah,
I feel like everyone has such a different take on these rules. I think
some of them makes sense and some of them are really dumb. So I'm
excited to hear your thoughts too. Maddie. I'm very excited because also I
think that this changes a lot as you get older, Like what I would
have thought was I don't know, Actually, I don't know if it gets
more serious or less serious, like when I was younger, I would care
about more or less. Actually, I don't know what a great question.
I guess we'll see, like what our different perspectives are. Yeah, well,
before we dive into that, should we do a little life update?
Yeah? Well I did record a life update. What day was that either
Tuesday or Wednesday when I record the podcast? So why don't you take it
away? Because my life not very exciting? Honestly, my life hasn't been
too exciting either, just because I've been so busy with school. I had
my last week of classes this week, and I have exams starting next week,
so I'll actually be finished school by December ninth, I think, yeah,
a week from today, and then I went to school for like a
month. We have a really long Christmas break, so I'm looking forward to
that. But yeah, it's been very, very busy lately. I feel
like I have been like Mia on social media, and that is because I
genuinely just haven't been on my phone. I had like a big test or
project every day this week, so I have just been grinding. But yeah,
not too much to update you guys on Have I mentioned that I moved
into my new apartment on the podcast yet, yeah, you did describe it
as a dungeon, or maybe that was actually on the episode that got deleted.
But in my episode that I re recorded, I explained why getting a
good alarm clock was good for your room. I think I'm pretty sure I
explained that. I said this would be a great gift for Lauren because she
has no light. And yeah, it was like a fake centerized basically,
so I'm pretty sure I said that. But yeah, I explain how you're
a part minskying. Okay, I think it's like our second or third week
here, and it's been great so far, with the exception of a few
little things. Since it's a new building, they're just I don't know,
they were kind of rushed finishing it. So when we moved in, there
was some stuff that was wrong, like when my roommate's doors doesn't close because
they put it on wrong, Like the hinges are in the wrong spot,
so just things like that. We had one of our screens window screens fall
off our floor, so like it fell down many many floors and it hit
a car outside of our apartment, so that wasn't great. Oh my god.
We didn't have warm water for a while. That. Wow, you
don't realize how important it is until it's gone. The water is really cold
naturally, so we had that happening for a few days. But yeah,
I don't know. I feel like we've kind of sorted out all of the
new building kinks by now, and it's been pretty good. I'm happy to
finally be settled in one place, and I'm starting to think about how I'm
to decorate my room. So if anyone has any suggestions, please let me
know. I'm looking to put some Decora something on my wall. Yeah,
so like, what's your aesthetic? Hmm? Okay, Well have you ever
seen maybe on Pinterest the like girl bedrooms where that's like the best way I
can describe it. I want you to walk into my room and be like,
this is a teenage girl bedroom where you have like all you all the
things that you like on the wall by your bed, like maybe posters for
artists that you like, and then little momentoes and stuff. That's what I
would like to do with my room. I think it may be like some
fun mirrors and art. I was thinking I might go to Goodwill and see
if I can find any cool, maybe like older pieces and put them up
on my walls. Nice. You could also check Etsy or like a thrift
store, like a flea market or something. I think they would have what
you're looking for. But that sounds really great. I don't really know what
you mean by girl bedroom, but I guess we'll see how it comes together.
Yeah, y'all just have to wait and see. But I'm notorious for
saying I'm going to decorate and then not actually doing it. So hopefully I
can decorate this place before I move out in May. I was gonna say,
are you returning there next semester? Well, I'm not living with my
current roommates next year, just because a lot of them are in sororities or
they're rushing and they have to live in their sorority houses next year. Oh
wow, but I might be in the same building, different unit though different.
Okay, so at least you could take your things to a similar size
space hopefully bigger actually, but it's not gonna be like you're living in a
house or like a different, completely different lay out. Yeah, yep,
we'll have to wait and see. Also, when I was talking about like
having posters up for artists who like, it reminded me that Spotify Wrapped and
Apple Music Replay came out this week. And I know that you're not a
big music listener, but did you look to see what yours was? No?
I don't use Spotify, so that's not very exciting. And then Apple
Music does something, but I just didn't click it. Do you want to
click it and look at who your top artists are? Sure? But I
don't really listen to much music, so yeah, let me just how do
I do that again? Just go into the Apple Music app and then click
listen now and the bottom left and then it should be there. Well you
do that, I'll share mine, Okay? Oh go ahead? Do you
have any idea what kind of music I listened to? Like? Would you
know who would be any of my top artists? Probably like Phoebe Bridgers She's
number two, Lana del I was number one, then Phoebe, then Daniel
Caesar. I must have had a Daniel Caesar phase at some point, because
I feel like I don't listen to him much anymore. But Spotify Rapped and
Apple Music Replay always reminded me of the phases that I went through. Maya
Hawk is my fourth most listened to artist, and I think she's an actress.
First, maybe don't quote me on that, but I had a really
big Maya Hawk phase in like March, and I listened to her music all
the time, and she somehow made it into my top five. And then
Boy Genius is number five, which is the band that Phoebe Bridgers is in.
And then my top songs this year were Funeral by Phoebe Bridgers, Motion
Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers, Chamber of Reflection by Mac DeMarco, Sweet Tooths by
Maya Hawk, and Cool About It by Boy Genius. What is your for
your top song? How many times have you played it? Okay, it
says sixty one, but I feel like it's gotta be more. That's only
yeah, like five times a month. How many minutes did you listen to
your top artists for I'm just trying to gauge if I listen to music like
Way Less than You my top artist I listened to for one, nine hundred
and sixty four minutes. Okay, I listened to a lot of music apparently,
Okay, Okay, so yours my This is embarrassing, to be honest,
this is like you literally don't know anything about music. Number one Morgan
Wallen November two, Taylor Swift bro I don't even like Taylor Swift number so
much music. Yeah, that's true, that's true. And I also went
to the concerts. I was like, I got into it a little bit
after that. Number three Drake Bro Okay, so embarrassed. I guess,
like the biggest people every John Roth. Number four is Zach Bryan, Okay,
Number five Sizza. I'm just gonna say a couple more because it's all
bad. Tyler Childers, Okay, he's fine. Justin Bieber, Oh god,
twenty one Savage literally Olivia Rodrigo by twenty one Savage, Olivia Rodrigo and
role Model, Like, none of this is niche. This is the most
generic, rapped or whatever replay I've ever seen in my life. Oh God,
Okay, then what were your top songs? My top songs were last
Night by Morgan Wollen, ninety eight Braves by Morgan Wallen, Midnight Love by
Girl in Red Kill Bill by Sizza, That Feels That feels weird for you.
John sent it to me and said that some girl send it to him.
He's like, some shorty said this song to me, and then I
listened to it and like put on my playlist and I guess I just listened
to it a bunch of times. That's so funny. And then kill Bill
by Sizza Feathered Indians by Teyler Childers lovely. So yeah, I'm not super
proud of that. It's not giving like that I have any taste at all.
But you know what, I'm speaking my truth. You know what,
as you should, as I should exactly. Anyway, any more updates to
share because I really have nothing to say other than yep, nothing really,
just have been working NonStop and have still so much to do. Oh.
Actually, my friend is coming tomorrow, Abby, friend of the podcast has
been on many times. She lives in actually lives in Milwaukee, right,
so I'm quite excited to see her. I'm picking her up from the Burbank
Airport tomorrow and we're gonna spend a few days together because she was in Las
Vegas for a couple of days visiting a friend and now, you know,
just a quick trip over. So I said, you have to come.
I'm going to pick you up from the airport. We're going to do some
fun things, some lunches, you know, the basic stuff. Very fun.
I don't know if we mentioned this, or if you mentioned this last
week, but when we were talking about our Christmas plans, as of last
week, we were supposed to be here for all of Christmas. But as
of today, I think we're both going to be going back to Toronto for
like a week or two at the beginning of December. So that should be
fun. So the problem is, I have a lot of work to do,
so I'm just trying to decide if I can go back to Toronto because
I know that the work is not going to get done. The work that
needs to be done will not get done, and then my December sales will
be down to drain. Does that make sense what work needs to get done?
Well, we're doing a sale. I think I mentioned it on the
podcast. I haven't announced it yet, but we're doing up to fifty percent
off. So when you're running that sort of sale, there's so much content
that has to support it, and in order to do that, I need
to have all of my stuff and also like access to models and like the
ability to shoot content quickly. So I don't really have enough time to do
it beforehand because I would be leaving on Thursday and my friend's coming till Tuesday.
Oh my god, I didn't realize it's already December. I was like,
yeah, it's December, second of December. Yeah, it's like next
would be next weekend. So this is the problem that I'm trying to balance,
you know, being a teenage girl with being a business owner. Being
a teenage girl, yep, just doing what I want to do with being
a business own twenty seven year old teenage girl. Yeah, that's a struggle.
M hm. So that's my life story. Anyway, let's get into
the episode because we've been rambling. We're gonna talk about relationship rules, and
like Lauren said, sure our feedback on them. Lauren has come up with
these rules. To be honest, some of them are crazy to me already.
So really I don't really know. Oh what should be fun? How
this is possible that this is a rule. Okay, I know what you're
talking about. Okay, can you go first? Wait, let's start with
one of the most basic, posting your significant other on social media. How
do you feel about that? I personally don't care at all, Like if
someone doesn't post me, if I didn't think that they were being shady about
it, if they just like, don't care about social media, like I
wouldn't care if someone posted me or not. Yeah, what do you think
if they like post I don't know, a few times a month, they're
active on Instagram, they're posting photo dumps, and you're just not in any
of it. How would that make you feel? If I had a reason
to feel as if they were shady in any other way, then I would
feel unhappy about it. But if they were, you know, not I
didn't feel like I was being hidden, then I probably wouldn't care that much,
Like it's just not that important to me. But then again, like
being hidden is not a good feeling. So if the intention behind it is
that they're trying to hide you, then yeah, obviously i'd have a problem
with it. But in theory or sorry, Like in general, I guess
I don't care about Instagram, like I don't care if someone posts me.
Yeah, I actually agree with that assessment. I feel like people are too
quick to be like, oh, if he doesn't post you, he is
hiding you form like he doesn't want people to know he's in a relationship.
Whatever. I don't think that's necessarily true. Some people just aren't active or
also, like I don't know I feel like there's a way to post your
significant other on social media without it being like kind of gross. And you
know, some people might just rather not post about their relationship, so I,
yeah, for sure entitled to keep some things private. How do you
feel about soft versus hard launches? That's a big time. I don't care.
I literally don't care at all, Like whatever, both of them are
the same to me. Hmm, interesting, Yeah, makes no difference to
me. I mean, I'm not really someone who's in your face poster,
so I probably would do more soft. Like I wouldn't announce that I was
in a relationship. I would just post what I want to post. Surprise,
I have a boyfriend. Yeah, like nobody actually cares. Yeah,
well, I think a soft lunch could be fun. I would like to
get into a relationship just so I could soft lunch it. I think that
would be fun. That would be fun. You could get really creative with
the announcement, the soft announcement. Yeah, I like that. Okay,
the next one. I'm really just confused about how this is a thing at
all. Lauren has written having your significant other in your profile picture? Why,
okay? This was this not like a thing? When you were younger.
Maybe social media wasn't around in the same way it isn't, but like
it was not a thing that I can remember. It was definitely a thing
when I was in high school that people would put a picture of them and
their significant other as a profile picture. And I think that the intention is,
like, even if you're private and no one can see your photos,
they look at that and they know that you're in a relationship. And it's
honestly kind of helpful because my friends will have like class crushes here and we'll
find their instagrams and then we'll look and if there's a girl in their profile
picture, where like, oh, he's in a relationship. M I mean
it, it makes sense. I just like wouldn't think of that, and
I wouldn't expect my boyfriend to have me in their profile picture, So I
would say that rule does not apply. I don't think it should be a
rule, but I just think it's kind of funny and a little bit clever.
Yeah, it's probably was efficient. It's definitely efficient. Gets messed.
Okay, I want to say one, Okay, okay, what do you
how do you feel about this kind of aligns with your next one, which
is going through their phone. But what about like dming girls like talking to
girls like this? Is this kind of is what they were talking about in
that TikTok trend where it was like, is your boyfriend talking to other girls
on Instagram cheating? I think it depends what the conversations are about. Like
that alone, I don't think that constitutes cheating. If they're friends and they're
just like he's responding to their stories and stuff in a friendly way, I
don't think that's cheating. If he's like actively sliding into girls dms, Like,
Hey, I think that's weird behavior. Do you think it's cheating?
I think that you would have to have a conversation about that well for sure,
But do you think that that is break up worthy? Like, if
you're in a relationship, it is a rule that you should not slide into
someone's DMS obviously, and then if you do, the relationship's over. Hmm.
I just like hope that I'm never in a relationship where the other person
is dumb enough to think that's okay, you know what I mean? Like
you actively be flirting with other girls, That feels like common sense to me.
Would I break up with someone over it? Probably not. But if
I talked to them and I was like, this makes me uncomfortable and they
kept doing it, then yeaheah, it'd be over. I agree. I
think that's something that's like anything that's not that bad. I would say,
like, if I ever see this again, like you know how I feel
about this. You should have known the whole time, but now you really
know. And if I ever see one thing that is similar to this,
this is over. And I've given you that like time to change. But
yeah, I don't know. I think it's obviously depends what the messages are.
How do you feel about going through their phone? I would never do
that. I I would never do that, Like I don't need to know
what your password is, I don't know who you're texting. Like, I
think that if I can't trust the person i'm dating to not like do things
that I wouldn't want them to do, then I shouldn't be in a relationship
with them. You know. Yeah, I just can't care at I can't
care about that. I got too much else going on. One hundred percent.
I totally agree. Yeah, I think it's it's tricky. Actually,
someone yesterday was like, oh yeah, these two people broke up and I
was like, oh, why and my friend was like, oh, because
he found her looking through his phone. And I was like, wow,
I would definitely never do that. Sometimes you're just curious. But okay,
here's the here's the argument. In the other way, it's like, if
you have nothing to hide, why do you care if I go through your
phone? Well, and the argument against that would be like, why don't
you trust me enough to trust that I wouldn't be doing anything shady. What
if you went through their phone and then you found what you were looking for?
What do you mean I'd break up with them? Okay, fair enough,
Okay, next up? Wait, wait, wait, wait. I
feel like people would be like, I can't bring this up because I'm not
supposed to know. But to me, that wouldn't be a problem. I
would be willing to die on that hill if it was bad enough. One
hundred percent. You have to decide if what you found is bad enough to
bring up, because you have to admit that you looked on their phone,
right, But you can always just twist it a little bit and make it
sound like you had a reason to do it or whatever, and then it's
fine. You could just say rumor has it you texted this girl at this
time saying this I heard. Now, do you mind if I just look
at your conversation just so you can prove me wrong, just to you know,
make sure there's no substance to that. Yeah, right, Okay,
Wait, before we go to the next one, I want to revisit the
social media topic and say, how do you feel about like a guy that
you're dating following other girls like Instagram models and stuff, girls that he's following
because he's attracted to them. You know, it's hard for me to say
this in general without obviously referring to my own relationship. So let me just
say I never cared about anyone following any girls. But I think that it's
different when you live in LA and these are people that you know, if
that makes sense. Like in Toronto, I was like, if you want
to follow some with three million followers, who's never going to follow you back
or answer your DM? Not that they should they would DM them, but
like, let's say hypothetically, then go ahead. But if a guy I
was dating here was following a lot of models, first of all, they
probably people that I met, because that's who you that's who we run into
like that's it depends who it is, obviously, but if they're like social
media influencers, yeah, I would have a problem with that. It's embarrassing
for me because these are girls that I run into, right and they know
that he's dating you. Yeah, for sure, Yeah I would say no.
But that's an LA specific thing. I wouldn't care as much or probably
at all if we were living somewhere else. I don't think I would ever
bring it up, Like I would never be like you need to unfollow these
girls. But I I think it's a little bit weird. Like if you
were scrolling through Instagram with him and there's like a bunch of bikini pictures on
his following page, it's like, hmm, that's just kind of strange.
How do you feel about guys liking other girl's photos? See, I can't
care, Like I me neither. Yeah, I just don't think it has
any meaning. Like I see guys on their phones and they don't look like
they're like this sweep swep, swep, scroll swells girl tap tap tap,
Like I don't think they're like, oh my god, this is an amazing
photo. Like girls analyzed photos way more than guys do mm hmm, I
believe that. I also just like I feel like the like doesn't really mean
anything. I know that girls feel weird about this because again, it's like
the girl whose photo you're liking probably knows that you're in a relationship, and
so it's a bad look for the girlfriend. But I don't know. It's
like if he's following that person and he's going to see their pictures either way,
I don't think it really makes a difference whether or not he likes them.
I agree, I have an issue with going back in liking photos,
Like, if you're liking old photos, that's weird, that's wird. I
exactly. Anything that's like initiating contact to me is weird, Like why are
you trying to get this person's attention? Right? Yeah, for sure,
that's strange. Okay, next one, sharing your location. I don't have
a problem with it because I don't lie about where I'm going. Yeah.
I feel like this is like every parent child argument as well. It's like
the parents are like, if you aren't lying about where you're going, then
why do you care if I have your location? And then the kids like,
I just want privacy and I don't really care about privacy because I,
like I said, I feel like I can do what I want and I
don't pretend that I'm going somewhere when i'm not, or like if I say
i'm home, i'm home. I'm not gonna lie about it. So if
someone wants my location, they can have it. Yeah, I would say
the same, And I think it's a little bit even worse to say that
you won't share your really your location with someone that you're dating because you know
that it's almost definitely because they're doing shady stuff. Like when it's a parent
child relationship, it's like, Okay, maybe they're staying out later than they're
supposed to, or they're not going to the friend's house that they said they
were going to. But when you're in a relationship, it's like, oh
so you're at like you're at a girl's house, or you're like like there's
there's always something weird there. That's how I feel even about phone password.
I'm like, it's the same sort of thing. The argument against it is
that you deserve privacy, and the argument for it is like, if you're
not hiding anything, why do you care ify Like, look at who you're
texting or know your phone password or know where you are, Like you should
be comfortable enough to share those things. But I get the privacy boundary thing
as well. I think it really just depends on the relationship, like if
trust has been broken at all, or like if you have a reason to
worry, then I think that those things can help you feel more comfortable.
Yeah, I agree. When it comes to the phone password, I feel
like if they're if they like won't tell you what it is, that's kind
of weird. Like I if it came up, I would want them to
tell me what their phone password was. If I was like, oh,
let me change the song or something and they were like, I'll do it
to me, I'll do it like that. Yeah, feels like great flagged.
But that being said, I wouldn't go through their phone even if I
had their password, Like I just I feel like that is a way that
you could respect their privacy while still knowing their phone password. Yeah, I
agree one hundred percent. Yeah, I don't care about sharing location. I
it would make me feel more comfortable if I had someone's location probably, But
like I said, if I've never been worried about a person, then I
probably wouldn't. I would ask for it. Yeah, okay, next one,
this is a big one. I'm interested to hear your thoughts. How
do you feel about them hanging out with other girls alone? Ooh, that's
tricky, I think Okay. I think it's very dependent on the girl.
I think it's dependent on what your relationship is with the girl, if they
are respectful of you and your relationship with your significant other, and yeah,
I think that's mostly it. Like and also like the history between them and
how long they've been friends. Like if someone has a high school friend or
a university friend that they've been friends with for a long time and there's never
been any weirdness between them and they're honestly just friends, then I wouldn't mind
if they were. Like, I think it also has to be in a
public place, Like you don't need to go to someone's house without me.
But I think that if you want to get lunch or coffee or dinner or
whatever, I don't care about that, as long as the girl has made
it very clear what her intentions are too. M hm. Yeah, I
agree, because I think about this in terms of like guy friends that I
have that I would hang out with and like, there are no romantic feelings
there, and I can't imagine if someone else was like, oh no,
you can't hang out with them, like that would be weird because obviously nothing
would ever happen there. But yeah, people are definitely very like this is
a tricky one for people, I think, But yeah, no, you
make a good point. I think it really is dependent on the relationship between
them, and I don't know. I feel like if it's an ex or
like someone that they were ever entangled with interested in, yeah, then that's
probably not cool. But I think otherwise it's fine. Yeah, I agree.
The thing with guys is I had this conversation with my boyfriend. I
was like, there's guys friends that I have that I have zero interest in,
like zero percent interest, never thought in my head. And he said,
oh, well, most guys have thought about their friends in a way
that's not just a friend. I'm like, that's heard this, Yeah,
I've heard this, But girls are not like that. Like, if I
have a guy friend who I am honestly have no feelings toward, that's never
going to change, like you're in the friend box. But I think for
guys, it's a lot more of a slippery slope. Oh god, yeah,
yeah. I feel like sometimes guys are just like waiting for the girl
to show interest and then that could change the relationship between them. Yeah.
I mean, if you're in a relationship, if your boyfriend is dating you,
you should never have to worry about that. But I don't know,
it's it is complicated, Like this is something that I don't exactly know where
I stand. But I think we both agree that if it's like a person
that you have no concern about, then it's fine. M hmm. I
also think that sometimes guys are just a little bit oblivious to what another girl's
intentions are. It's like, you might think she just wants to be your
friend, But if I am looking at the situation, I'm like, oh,
she doesn't just want to be your friend, then maybe you got to
take my word for it. It's hard because I never want to overreact about
things. Like my worst fear is overreacting. I don't know what that's called,
but that's definitely a phobia, like overreacting about a problem that's not actually
a problem. So I would be so hesitant to be like, I think
there's something going on here. I would probably never say that. No,
I know, I know, but yeah, I think it's it is definitely
something that you'd have to bring up. M okay last, but not LEAs
Leuren. The fact that this is even on here is crazy. She has
has dating apps, like has cheating apps, but doesn't swipe on them cheating.
I just think that you should delete them. When I got into a
relationship, I deleted whatever dating apps I had. Yeah, you it should
be obvious. Yeah, if you are dating me exactly, if you are
pursuing another person or initiating contact or swiping on an app like come on,
that is cheating. Mm hmm, yeah, I agree. Well, I
think we're actually pretty aligned, more aligned than I thought. The only things
that were different about or like the social media related things, I guess.
But well, we do come from the same parents. It kind of makes
sense that we have the same views on what's okay what's not okay in a
relationship. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like I don't care about
a lot of things in relationships, like usually I think there are bigger,
bigger issues and more important things to focus on in life. But I don't
know, I think it's just good to be in a relationship with someone who
is similar to you, or if they don't feel the same way about some
of these rules, they're respectful of what your stance on them is. For
sure. I think finding someone who has similar values is the easiest, definitely.
And also if you are in a relationship where you can really trust somebody,
then you don't have to worry about stuff, like you can let a
lot of things go because you are confident that the other person is not going
to do anything to risk your relationship. Like they can have female friends,
they can follow girls on Instagram, like all of that. That just depends
on your confidence and trust in the person. So very relationship specific, but
yeah, I think we're pretty much aligned. That was a fun episode.
Hope you guys enjoyed this one. We'll be back next week with maybe something
more Christmas related or I don't know what we've been talking about, but we
will be chatting with you guys next Friday. Thank you guys so much for
listening. We will talk to you soon. Bye. Well well well