Good morning that replex. Welcome into fun and and other stuff. We've got
a fun one for you today. Here on the Downbeat, we have big
breaking news throughout the show. The Academy Awards nominees coming down. I'll love
JJ at nine o'clock breaking that down for us eight thirty ding This Morning News
at eight to brand new Downbeat segment, Neighborhood Watch can try to bring these
neighborhoods together first before we can change the world. You ought the next door
app, don't you? Yeah, just about boots on the ground report or
reports from the messy arians last night or yesterday to sports some news. Many
laughs, Oh my god, the amount of laughs? How many laughs?
So many? In fact, a million starting now, a million and six.
Let's just hit the million first and then we'll worry about sprinkling in the
sixth, you know what. Let's focus on six and then we'll sweat the
million. Yeah, there's one, he's got one in there. How many
more does he have? List? I'm leading one zero zero. Oh no,
your phone case is gonna have to be a foot No, no,
we're not laughing about that one. A terrible way. Imagine imagine if someone
was just listening in like every word you said, they I don't know,
like a knob. They like turn it like, oh this is good,
this is bad? How your whole life was dependent. There's just that that's
happening. Well, there's a radio no I suppose, yeah, determines listen
or no. But every time we crack our mic on someone news listening.
Okay, And that's where i'd like to tell you. Hello, I'm Kevin.
Hey, I'm Shale, I'm the Dinger La. I'm sorry. Did
that guy say that his name was Shale? Yeah? And then the other
guy said his name is Dinger? And then knop switch why is the other
guy's name normal? And then just Kevin, Kevin, Mike and Dannee.
Welcome. If you are listening to us for the very first time, Good
morning, six oh two am, Tuesday, January twenty third, and welcome.
I don't know if it's by accident or what if you're looking for rock
or what you expected here right here, but thank you for listening. I
bet you have a good time if you just stick with us, give us
a shot. It's a bit of an acquired taste. Who's looking for rock?
We're told if you're looking for rock talk, go to science channels,
and really we're still sitting at one, still holding steady a low one.
You know what's kind of weird. As we killed rock, we didn't,
I don't know. Other stations picked it up and they've been doing well.
And we have the dinger who knows. I don't know as much as anybody
about rock and music and people in bands. Watch, let me demonstrate Kevin
name a random eighties band, Motley Krue. I mean, what do you
want to know? Who's in it? Tommy Lee, Vince Neil and Nikki
six and mc mars. You know what, I think? I knew that
one, A harder one. Okay, Morris Day in the time. What
we'll save him by saying I wouldn't say? That's Ronald Richie. What are
you doing? He doesn't know he was born in like two thousand about.
That's like the worst era of rock. Scorpions. Scorpions, Okay, Herman
Rarebail on drums, Francis Bucholts on bass. You had Rudolph Schinker on guitar,
Mattias Jobs on other guitar, and Class Minor on lead vocals. It's
it's easy. Alex Life's and Neil Pert, and it really is quite the
parlor trick. How about that rock fans, I might be the cockroach that
survives this apocalypse. Yeah exactly. Yeah, when rock returns, you're listening
to the freak in the mornings, come and get it. Someone might think
that's a good idea to stop shot, stop doing good, shut off about
that. My whole bit is I can name the members of the bands.
They have some big meeting or at a table, they're like, all right,
well Mike is gone. Kevin, I don't know gone. You can
name all these weird guitarists and drummers. I mean it's something. He's still
got a year on his contract. We got to use him somehow. Let's
do it. Keep him. Here's a keeper. They slide you in a
different pile than me and Kevin with our head shots on it. My big
office table. You guys get desk jobs. Why are we running the promotions
department now? Oh lordie, just kidding. Everything is fine, Oh oh
oh what relax and thirty minutes. We need to have a talk. We
need to really what's the thing that Jada has pinket or red table talk?
What you call a blue pill talk? What they call it your red bag.
She sits around her table and then they talk about serious subjects like Will's
vomitous orgasms. JJ, what's it called. I'm sorry, I'm red table
talk, red table talk. We're gonna have a red table talk at six
thirty five. Beau what local weather man called messy something last night on the
news and no one has picked it up and ran with it. But I
saw it and I pulled it, and you think it's questionable. I think
we just need to have a talk about as a guy, oh does take
part in locker room talk, you know, on the golf course, you
know, but that's golf course talk. Kevin boobs and ass hot hot hot
something. You might hear me. He just stripped his drive on seven ye
struts off the tee, just talking boobs and ass and there's that. And
the messy thing was kind of nuts apparently of stuff on that later, but
you guys are gonna love it. Six thirty five, get ready. I
would like to do a new intro. Juja, I An'm mourning to this.
Can we do the the BB intro that we just added earlier in the
week. It's about breakfast and another thing. It's funny that they who appropriated
that word to mean, like, what was boner already referring to your wien?
And and they appropriated it to mean a mistake or was it a mistake?
And then the wien appropriated it to mean a firm wien. I bout
a mistakest. Bill Buckner had one of the biggest boners of all time.
That was nineteen eighty six. Both terms existed prior to that. Yes,
what's called the boner patrol? Then? And see, I feel like boner
as a mistake was is of old timey? I think so it is?
But then what are you what are you saying that the term boner for having
a bone was only what in the fifties or something here does on dictionary dot
com if you'd like to see a person or thing that, oh my god,
a person or thing that bones too slang vulgar, an erection of the
penis. Yea, he made himself laugh? Does that count? Not count?
We're not counting. We're not counting. But going to Miriam Webster and
reading the definition of a bonus a foolish and obvious blunder, a stupid mistake
have dates. I see how those tie in yeah. Yeah, that's the
second definition of it though, so yeah, I don't know all right?
Oh yeah nineteen ten, nineteen ten? What the the which one origin of
the mark? There's said too many times? Listen the intro for it now,
heaven I hear wrong? Boy morning show? Or what pretty wacky?
What the hell's happened? Ah? God, Danny? Oh you want me
to to tell you about mine? It surely isn't about me. But okay,
So, Mikey, I told you yesterday the very brief story about how
on Sunday morning, I went to pick up Malcolm, my almost three year
old son. He was at his mom's and you know, we're shooting the
breeze and he's running around. He's got this toy that he got for Christmas.
It's called Doodoo Kangaroo and it's a plastic kangaroo that you feed him these
little plastic donuts and he craps into a toilet fun for the whole family,
and he was playing with that. I'm talking to his mom and he walks
around and says, I ate a donut? Like what? He goes,
Yeah, I had I ate a donut like you ate a donut. It's
like, what for breakfast. He goes, no, I ate a donut,
and he was like pointing to his mouth, and me and his mom
were but like, whoa, you ate one of those little platt And we're
like, open your mouth. And then he starts kind of freaking out because
he sees us freaking out. Yeah, and we realize that he just claimed
to have swallowed one of the little plastic donuts that came with the toy bad
Yeah. So we're looking around for the rest of the doughnuts and we count
them all and they're supposed to be eighteen of them. There were seventeen.
So immediately it is on the phone with parents, it is text to my
doctor, it is web md, it is Google, all of it to
figure out what do you do. We're talking about the size of a dime.
Yeah, it's a little bit larger than a dime, a little bit
smaller than a penny, so right in that size range. And it's very
flat plastic piece of plastic with an adhesive sticker on it that makes it look
like a doughnut. All right, So we're all told basically the same thing.
See how he responds, See how he reacts. Okay, Like if
he's just acting like he's in pa and his stomach or if he won't eat
or his his mouel movements stop. Yeah, that's concerning because it's a disc,
and you know, it's not like a little beebie or something. I
mean, it's of significant size for a little body like his. So our
concern is that thing's going to get into one of the the openings to his
low his small intestine, or it gets lodged in his intestine and creates some
kind of blockage. So everything's fine. That day, he does his normal
evacuation of his facilities like normal, but that would have meant that the food
was already down there. So we get through the whole day. He doesn't
complain of any pain, and then yesterday afternoon he started saying, tummy ache.
I have a tummy ache, and we're like, oh my god.
So every time, yes, I'm just freaking out as a matter of fact,
to the point where yesterday I feel like I was disassu disassociated with the
show yesterday morning because it was on my mind, and every time my phone
would would bleep up and it was his mom. I'm like freaking out.
So finally I have him all day Yesterday and his mom picks him up yesterday
evening and I get a text from her. I don't know, it's probably
during the MAVs game, and it's a picture. I can't really tell what
it is, but apparently she took a photo of the contents of his evening
diaper and the caption just said Hallelujah, and inside the diaper with his leavings
right there for all to see, the little plastic donut. The little donut
made. It took the journey of a lifetime. And I don't know how
many parents out there. I'm sure there's a lot of parents that listen to
us. I don't know how many of them this has happened to. But
dude, when I got that text, I jumped off the couch and fisted
up in the dude, cause you have. The last thing you want is
you know your kid can't go to the bathroom. He's doubled over in pain.
That's all I'm thinking of is just the worst case scenario of having to
go to the emergency room. They're gonna have to stick a scope into his
intestines, or have to go in there and get this thing or put him
on something, you know, X ray him. I mean keeping him still
for an X ray. They have to knock him out. Yeah, it's
just not happening with that little wildcat. So, oh my god, dude,
it was elation. It made my day. That's great. So it
was Sunday that he ate it. Yeah, yeah, and then yesterday Monday
evening, pretty quick four hours normal cycle. Isn't that a normal Yeah?
Yeah, usually eighteen to twenty four for the food you eat to turn into
manure manure, yuck. And he had no problem passing it. He yeah,
elicited, no signs of pain or discomfort or anything. Kids are man.
I was just shopping for Christmas and birthdays for my nieces. We're all
under the age of six, and it's like, you can't you hardly find
anything that doesn't have small pieces with it when it comes to toy, so
I'm always trying to not buy anything like that for them. Some of them
choke on it, but also it will swallow it. Yeah, it says,
I'm looking at Dodoo Kangaroo dot com. What did you find that on
Amazon? Okay, there's Wow, Welcome and Danny in the bathroom together,
right, and he's just happy. Kangaroo sitting on a toilet and two happy
kids just snacking on snacking on some plastic donuts. But it says ages three
plus and he's coming up on these three in March. Three in March.
That's it. It does a choking hazard of the thing. But I imagine
the biggest concern is the choking upon initial consumption totally and then obviously hopefully that
thing goes through. So do we give that thing a good twice over and
get it back in a donut rotation with its seventeen friends. I think Doodoo
Kangaroo lives at the top of the closet now along with his seventeen donuts,
all donuts. Well, we're not going to reuse the eighteenth donut that was
exit in there. Just mix it in there. No, no, no,
I'll show you the picture and you tell me if you want your kid
playing with this thing. Oh after a goodh a wasshing. So he's sitting
there with a stupid kangaroo and a toilet, no donuts to feed it,
and this toy sucks, right, Doodoo Kangaroo. How because the world is
insane. The world started going insane, I would say in the mid to
late nineties and we're just out of you can't turn back anymore. Yeah,
yeah, the horses out of the barn and we can't go back to normal,
normal humor where we're just normal human beings. It is just because doodoo
rhymes with kangaroo that they made the problem anyway, Right, what else rhymes
with do doo? Right? I mean there's so many like gag gifts.
There's a gag gifts for lou sitting on the pot and you can you can
have a putt and green time out. What what toddler? What Toddler's face
wouldn't just light up on Christmas Morning at the sight of the brand new popular
toy Doodoo Vita Blue. He's my favorite Oakland A's picture from the seventies.
Seventies do do Vita Blue? Maybe was fingers? Oh we'd better with rolly
fingers. You have a cool mustache. Maybe, but it does. It
doesn't wrong, I know exactly. There's no green light, Kevin, It's
all right, red light on, and then they bring me another slice of
pizza I don't want. Well, that's good, I'm lated. You can
tell you're a little concerned. I completely understand, especially when you get a
text, you know, right before Dingo's Morning news, and it's his mom
saying, Malcolm's complaining of a tummy. No, I'm gonna have to bounce
out of here and run to my car race to Baylor. You know,
but everything was fine. Why don't you bring Dodo Kangaroo here. We can
play with it because Malcolm can't play with it anymore. Bring the eighteen donuts
in and we'll see if Kevin seventeen. We'll see if Kevin can find the
magical eighteenth down that can bring them all. Bring them all eight o'clock,
will blindfold you, and you and you taste each one. Ah, it's
like pooh humor. I don't either, but you're taking part in this.
This is funny. This is a serious medical matter. Yeah, keV,
Yeah, keV. Who's keV birthday? I am unbelievable. So last night
I got home from from dinner. I went to a dinner because he said,
was my birthday? What'd you have for dinner? Plastic donuts? Okay,
I don't know how you want. I don't. There's nothing really to
handle. It was this idiot's birthday yesterday. Yeah, he went to a
birthday dinner last night. Didn't tell anyone. I didn't know it was his
birthday till the show ended. And don't do that again. I don't know
how to handle that. I'm not gonna make an announcement to tell everyone it's
my birthday. Well, were we just supposed to know? We're not know.
I don't know your birthday. I know it's somewhere in March. No,
that's mine. I know it's in I know you're just somewhere in May.
No, that is it May. Yeah, you and the buttload of
other people who have birthdays somewhere between May twentieth and May thirtieth. Yeah,
good god, many cray trayon machine or pretty much back again, Kavanaugh,
all these people May birthday, Yeah power birthday May rhymes with gays. What
happened to you birthday? Boy? We're good at dinner? What type of
food? Chinese food? So is your birthday? You get to fo some
dim sum? Remember he wanted dim some he wanted birthday dim Did they put
one little candle in your dim sum? Terrible service? Stick it in your
your soup. I'm not I'm not going to annihilate the place that had that
gave me a very disappointing experience. Last night, did they sing Happy Birthday
and Chinese? And if they did, I would have recorded it. What
would that sound like? Okay, Mikey, go ahead, I don't.
We don't have time. We don't have time. Most of our listeners don't
seak Chinese. So I'm trying to relate to the audience. I mean,
you guys have all done this, the the fake birthday like saying it's your
birthday when it's not right. Never actually I've never done that. No,
you say someone else's birthday? Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I forgot who
he did it for. I know. I'm back in our going to ox
Nard days and Ben's getting It's like a yearly tradition. They'd go into this
sushi place and dude, it was nuts. They'd turn out the lights.
It's like he turned into a disco party in there for thirty seconds. It's
a great gag. Yeah, I think, I think. I yeah.
On spring training trips or Cowboys training camp trips at a Mexican restaurant back when
the Cowboys were in San Antonio, we went to this Mexican place and went
up to the matre d and let him know that it was his birthday,
and we wanted to make sure that yes, it was like eighty sixth birthday,
and he was probably like sixty maybe younger than that at the time.
And they come out and they put the sombrero on him, and they're dancing
around and they give him the little flawn with the candle in it, and
he doesn't like flawn. In the picture that we have of him, just
sitting there going thank you and egoo, scrasia anyway, Kevin, sorry to
it's so loud there. It's one of us say it was one of our
birthdays at the sushi place in Oux Nerd Point. That doesn't matter. I
get home and I get text means on my phone. It is a fraud
department. Oh uh oh and see okay, birthday fraud. That doesn't look
like something that I have purchased here. I don't have cash App, but
reply yes or no if you use the debit card ending in blankety blank blank
blank cash app K E L L I C I nineteen dollars, so I
you know know, and they tell you the number of the call, so
I call the number quickly go to my account. My account has cash App
purchases and there's about seven of them. Should this happened to you all probably
before, right, Okay, one, two, three, four, five,
six, seven cash app purchases. One is sixteen dollars, one is
thirteen, one is twelve, one is eleven, one is ten, one
is eighty cents, and one is seventy five cents. But it's linked to
your debit account. Yes, oh okay, So someone got in my information
started a cash out, yeah, and aimed low and started doing a bunch
of tiny ones. Now I've got a blocker on mine, like if there's
anything any purchase over one thousand dollars and I would get a hit back.
So I called and talked to the LAMB. Okay, so good, shut
off my car. Great. Now what she's like, Okay, well just
call your bank. Well, my bank's not open at eight o'clock last night,
you know. So I'm debit card list right now. I don't know
he borrow some money, I got cash. I'm good much enough? Yeah,
well for what? Enough? For what? It depends? I have
enough, but I don't have it for what do you have enough for?
A dim sum do over? Jesus daytime, dim sum duover. Definitely gonna
get it be, I know, fine, make it open I mean,
you want to make it up to me, do you take me off for
some dim sum for lunch one day? I would love nothing more than to
take Kevo out for some dim sum for lunch one day. So I have
to now call my bank today and be like, okay, so, uh
what what do I do now? And they're gonna be like, we're gonna
send you a new card, and they're gonna the problem cover the chart right
now that I've gott a document I've put together and it's all everything define accounts,
and you gotta go home and redo it. And our financial system is
too flimsy. It's too flimsy. We need to go back to a cash
world. Okay, Kevin. Well, if you're gonna get hacked and people
are gonna start taking your money, they gotta do it the good old fashioned
way, break in and murder your family, or pickpocket or pickpocket. So
I was thinking, but yes, yours is a little darker. Yes it
was away. Hey, if I then you hire Rady Johnson to sit by
your bed and throw baseballs at him if they walk in, He could have
said blue, I could have It would have been a good callback. But
that was before my time. You guys do too many references of people I've
never heard of of. Vita Blue. The demo goes to fifty four.
Yeah, all right, we're going high end on it. Yeah. So
you have a couple hundred buck loose cash in your pocket? Uh huh if
I I speaking of pickpockets. If I successfully pickpocket that money off of you
and show it to you, can I keep it? Yes? Thank you.
I'll know when you're sniffing around my ass. You wan't know anything.
Does a successful bucket? Does a successful pickpocketing event? Does the victim ever
know it's happening? Oh, because I'm saying you just walk over there and
like hit him with a brick and steal his wallet. Oh yeah, I
did that yesterday. It was a debit card, started a cash hap account.
Now I'm going for the cash. Why only thirteen dollars purchases testing it?
Today's the day for the big hitter. Seventy five cents, eighty cents
a dollar, ten, eleven, twelve, and then sixteen Today, I'm
getting a whole palette of doodoo kangaroos. You know what it took. The
one that they texted me about in the fraud was nineteen dollars, which is
I bet what Doo Dooo Kangaroo cost? How much is Doo Doo Kangaroo?
Do you know? I don't know. You got him up. I'm was
curious. I bet Doo Doo Kangaroo is probably around twenty one nine. Yes,
toys for kids are expensive too, yea god uh do Doo Kangaroo game?
Feed him until he's got to go grab the donuts and dodge the doo
doos. Collect the most donuts to win. So that's how they make the
game of it. Uh huh. Regularly priced nineteen ninety nine. Okay,
Amazon has a discount twenty nine percent off. Oh we're at fourteen dollars and
nineteen cents right now, Amazon Prime free shipping. We can have this bad
boy in studio tomorrow. A couple of text messages in the first segments.
This is the first, second, two and four. This guy says,
Uh, fellas, I'm in line at Chick fil A at the window,
and you guys keep yelling boner please. My lord's chicken is blushing, blushing,
my lord's chicken and uh, that's what I call it. Oh,
yes, Vin job Malcolm and shout out to Kate from down the street,
good listener. It's his birthday today and he told me I have birthday yesterday,
and I wanted to repay that to him because I acknowledge when people have
birthdays, just not yourself. And we will prove that at six forty five.
Come out next. What did Channel eight weatherman Pete delk Is call messy
last night on the ten o'clock news Next to ninety seven won the Freak