Well, well, well I just made a whole big bowl of egg salad.
That's it. While you think about my cooking techniques. Why don't y'all
sit down, shut up, and welcome to from a Far Podcast. Last
time I'm from a far podcast. Also from behind us. Hit the alarm?
See which one that's the keys for? You're thinking of alien? This
one is speak step for Brian. He loves Brian. It is an old
ship. It is an ugly ship, but it is a quick ship,
especially with this crew. Nineteen plus five twenty four that just hits dim where
evil live, the evil tastes the evil. He's going to cast heat the
metal. You might not know my secret completely, you know too much.
Points his arm towards one of the jellyfish and he casts pulse weight yourn's got
without them chasing us? Is that a possibility any And I think her face
is engulfed by fire and she looks like a ghostwriter for just a minute.
Pivot and the tail is all of a sudden in front of you, and
it just bam slams right into the into the Onona. He rees Biorn,
All right, um, yeah, you caught me. Good job. And
as this person I approaches, consolations like all right, everyone, this is
my friend's slow. A couple of weeks ago i went, or I guess
probably a couple of months ago. Now. I went to Carl's Junior with
one of my friends and I was a little bit hungover. I was in
the passenger sy we were growing up camping for the weekend. It was gonna
be really cool. But before we went up, we're like, let's stop
and get some Carls Junior. So we did. We stopped, we were
ordering the food. We're sitting in the car whatever, start to drive through,
and you know that feeling you get when like you can like tell someone's
like looking at you. I was sitting in the passengercy on my phone or
whatever, just and all of a sudden, I feel like somebody's looking at
me, and like I look over and like the waiter or the cashier whatever
it's called a a fast food joint, it's just like looking at me and
he's like, hey, are you Are you that guy? And like a
normal person in life would have said, no, I am not that guy.
Please leave me alone and give me my burger. Well, I am
not a normal person. I was like, yeah, dude, what's up.
And he was like, oh shit, man, hell yeah, that's
awesome. It's so good to see you. Man. Then he was like
yeah, man, you like that audio guy doing all that cool audio stuff
and whatnot. Then I was like, wait, is he talking about me?
Because like I do audio stuff. I was like stuff, okay.
I was the only reason I started this endeavor was I thought my friend was
about to drive away. This conversation kept going and he kept saying stuff and
he's like yeah man, He's like, yeah, you have that, like
that song, that one song, and I was like, oh, yeah,
man, that song. Like he's like, what's that song called.
I'm like, ah, man, I got a lot of songs. He's
like, oh no, it's cool. It's cool man. And I like
look over my friend is driving and like he's looking back at me and just
like cracking up. And I was like, you a piece of shit.
This goes on for a good like forty five seconds longer. Finally get our
food and leave, and then my friend was like, dude, that was
hilarious, Like that guy like I didn't know you, and I was like,
no, he didn't know me, but he thought he did. I
thought that was the end of the story. Oh no. A couple of
weeks pass, I go back to Carl's junior on a whim. I'm like,
you know, I feel like some car I was junior at the like
order Box. I had the thought. I was like, I wonder if
that guy stood here. I was like, nah, I mean, he
can't be. But also like, just in case, I like, put
my mask on, put my hair up, like I get get up to
the window and lo and behold, he's there. And without missing a fucking
beat, he's like, why are you trying to hide from me? Man?
I was like oh. And he's like, it's just going to see
you again, like you have all those songs and all that stuff. And
I was like, again, a normal person at this point, there's a
there's a very clear outro to this story, be like we're talking about or
that's not me, two very clear ways to get out of this story.
But I'm a dumbass and I was like, I was like, it's good
to see you again, man. Oh yeah, And he gets really quiet
and he's like, well, here's the thing. I was like, oh
boy, here we go. And he's like, I make music too.
I was like, oh no, he's like, we should definitely collaborate some
time. And again, a normal person would have been like, no,
this is not me do all My mind was saying, do not continue out
with this story. But I was like, dude, that'd be awesome.
Sometimes he's like, yeah, man, so let me get your number,
and I was like, all right, this is this is it. This
is the cut off. And I was like, nah, dog, I
don't feel comfortable giving out my number to all these like the people like that.
Next time I come back, I'll bring you a card. He's like,
cool, man, I haven't been back to that Carl's Junior since Yeah.
I have no intention of going back. And I feel terrible because this
guy thinks I'm this this guy, David, I have a theory for you
that might make you feel better. Please do, please do. He does
this to everyone, and you're the first person to play a long that's actually,
here's the better thing you can do if you go back to that Carl's
Junior. I have no intention to just do it for this, do it
for this. Go there. When he's like, oh man, what about
recording, and you'd be like, listen, I can't give us a recording
spot. But I did want to give you this, and you give it
to him after you get your order. It was a picture of Kinney g
that you have autographed, and underneath it it says, I'm really sorry.
I'm not the guy you think you are. I might actually do that,
right. That's a that's a wonderful ending to this story. That's yeah,
it's honestly, Benna, give me a little bit of stress. Um.
Yeah, and with that, are you already two? What did you just
say? Mullen uz nuzzle the cheeks of reality and spoon our way in.
No, no, kind of a kind of a rough energy to start out
with. Yeah, let's let's try that one more time. Nuzzle the cheeks
of reality and nibble at this story and nibble at this a little bit.
So glad my parents don't listen to me. Podcast. Andy, you got
one? What do you got? What do you nuzzle these cheeks reality and
thrust our way in. Let's go might be the worst one. You all
ready to nuzzle the cheeks of reality and softly gently caress and kiss the facial
cheeks of this story. Only one who wasn't gross. I'm glad you cut
out the other three that we did and that they aren't in the episode,
and that my statement here is here without context. Well, we'll see.
Maybe maybe all four of those will go in. Go in. It's gonna
be like, oh, there were three more, so you never possible came
first the chicken or the egg. I don't know if that saying works in
this situation, but we're gonna say it phrasing anyway. Are you all ready
to do this thing? Yes, let's do it blows your eyes. We
all just resetting the stage a little bit here. You all have just gotten
through, not necessarily a grueling battle, but a battle. Nonetheless, your
ship kind of lists unintentionally through the inky dark void that is wild space.
A couple sirens go off because you guys took a pretty fucking huge hit.
None of that really draws your attention as much as the newest member of this
story, the young mind flare that is kind of sitting right in front of
corporal buttons, and buttons you were taking a back slightly. You none a
few mind flares in your day, but none like the one that is currently
elbow deep in your circuits. And since we are on the topic, who
gave him permission to do that? Is there an elder brain trying to kill
you. No, wait, you're starting to feel better. Is he fixing?
You? Can mind flares do that? Can you fix things? The
young mind Flare, sorry, Ulathed, rambles absent mindedly as it works.
Oh wonderful, I've never seen such fantastic systems. There's some pretty serious damage
to the onboard left cog lever and the left drive liver is bent. But
I can fix that. Would you mind holding this? As you hear a
wrenching sound and sparks fly out of your chest buttons all sorts of warnings pop
up and fly across your innerface as the young mind Flare hands you what looks
like a metal heart and keeps working. Hold on. This will only take
a second. Just as your vision starts to fade, slow takes a heart
back from you and reinserts it back into your chest, and a thing the
span of three heartbeats. All your warnings stop, and you come back online,
feeling as good as you did the first day you were created. They're
all fixed. As you look into the eyes of this Ulathed, you see
something different. You only see his eyes staring back at you. You are
not sure how you know it but you know that he is the only one
behind his eyes. No elder brain, no hive mind, just slow.
You are fascinating. How are you feeling? Yeah, there's something special about
this one. As you stand up, you remember something. Your first day
of being free from the debts and aboard the Winona. That's where we're going
to start, as ye as we cut back into somewhat of a flashback in
your mind. Buttons, you have just gotten your debts paid off, and
you've just been accepted into this motley crew and you are standing at the at
the engine with a slow sun. Sorry, Nolan, I'm gonna hit you
twice in a row. You're coming off. You're coming back for another improv
moment. You're there too, but for feel free to come in if you
need to. But you are standing there looking at this machine, this this
engine, and you are remembering a lot, some of your protocols and some
of the things that you have been designed with and made with. You see,
you can see the problem with the ship right now. You can see
exactly what's going what's wrong with the engine and why the why the the Winona
is not moving through the air, and you're there with slossa and what do
you what are you saying? Buttons is looking around and he says, there
are many problems here with the engine. Um, this was the voice,
right, yeah, okay, good, thank you, this was the voice.
There are many problems here with your engine. Um. Part of it
is no one has been cleaning it. You see all this, He points
at, like several places where like oil is no longer slick, it is
now like plaster almost on faces they supposed to be. Not that your reactor
manifolds have crushed the dover. And if I'm going to be frank, the
engine has a bit of an attitude problem. And I think the engine like
makes a low grumbling noise, and Buttons just just looks at it, and
he says, watch our fucking mouth. I could end if I wanted to.
And then we have established this ship is not sentient in any way whatsoever.
Very true. But he does talk to it, and he does not
like it. I think Slausa notices that Corporal Buttons is slowly edging towards the
engine that's just grumbling, and Corporal Buttons is holding his fingers up. Slausa
like puts some of their tentacles and their suckers onto corporal buttons and just like
coles him back a little bit. Now, now, my angry little companion,
what can we do about this? I'm not the one who really gets
greasy, so I'm not the one that you should be asking for help.
But I can requisition some things the need arises. I think you see Biorn
at that point, like like slide off from underneath the engine on one of
those car things, like with a book that clearly is like fixing space engines
one oh one, and it's like grease. However, his face and he
has a wrench and he's like, am I not doing a good job?
I would like to introduce you to the strike system, Yourn, You're on
one right now. Try to remember that. And he starts to slide back
underneath there, and you hear the sounds of unmistakable NTI porn WALLOWEGI HNTI porn.
Sorry you've been trying to say something, Go for it. Yes,
button's us walks over where Bjorn is under the engine, pulls him out,
like I'm assuming he's on one of those roly things because it's space, it's
like floating, yeah, pulls it out, pushes it towards Slalsa and he
says, at what point did I say that I need help? And he
slowly and like without breaking eye contact. He just starts like going at an
angle like kind of limboing like from his ankles until he is parallel with the
ground. He is horizontal, still eye contact with Slalsa and making little tiny
steps underneath the engine, very ineffective. He goes ahead and starts just working
on the engine. And then before like after a couple of minutes or a
couple of seconds of like, he pops his head back out and looks at
Slalsa and he says, oh, I'm hired, and he goes back under
it. Slalsa like turns around very quickly with a finger in the air,
just thray threy. I like this one, he can say, I like
this one. It was like a like a like a one of those funnels
on the end of like oh yeah, TH's like what was my voice like
was it like it was like these I also don't like to get greasy,
So I'm glad we have someone to do with it. You see another little
pipe come down. I was willing to do it. Don't have a purpose
on this. You know how many strikes there are total I just want to
get that across so that we're on the same page. Was on strike two
with me earlier? I don't know a few strikes the multiplicative do they think?
You know what? I know what. I just found a purpose and
I'll be locked away, protected in my room. Make sure the locks on
the outside of the door breaking up, and like we cut away, and
like Bjorn is right next to three runs away, but buttons, I feel
he walks away and his shoes are like are like wetly squeaking like right and
buttons. As as you start to hear this kind of this chatter over the
over, what it is your new crew and new friends, new family,
you you look back up to the underside of the GHX power space Horse three
thousand engine that you have right in front of you. Uh, and you
start working on it. And sure enough, within just a matter of moments,
um three and slow so you start to hear the systems come back online,
and the and the air starts to circulate again, and the the wana
seems like it has new life restored to her. And Buttons, well,
I know we've said the ship doesn't talk, but it talks to you.
What fuck? You yes, but for the first and maybe last time that
this uh, this ship and you had a civilized conversation. I just did
air quotes like the podcast. Could hear me? Yeah, you hear that
that that guttural rumble start up and then it dies away and you hear like
the very healthy sounding purring of a good engine. Buttons replies, You're welcome,
van Bucket, and that is what that That is what you think back
to as you see your cogs and your gears and your your kegs starting to
get fixed by this person who I just want to make it clear you did
not give permission to do this. But as as strange and as as invasive
as it is, you feel a lot better, Like very quickly. You
don't know how he's doing this, but your your internal liver shaft is now
working again, and your your spleen motor it hasn't been purring like this since
since a long time. All of you now are standing on the deck of
the Winona as this young mind flare which again, give a fuck, he's
a young mind flare Um is is there, and the constellation sort of smiles
knowingly over the top of Slaw's head and looks at you, Buttons and is
just like, yeah, he's he's different and that's why we need to get
him out of here. Buttons looks it's slow, and he says, you
remind me of a younger me, but less mechanical and metallic. And Slow
puts a puts a hand on your shoulder as he like closes here like gender
style. Yeah, flap by it in the front, my tummy closet,
your tummy closet, and he puts a he puts a hand on your shoulder,
and he says, if I grow up or live to be anywhere near
as fascinating or as wonderful as you, I would take that as an amazing
compliment. Thank you. Buttons holds out his fist for this bump. Slal
looks at it and then takes like a little hammer from his belt and it's
like, is your wrist bothering you as well? I can fix that,
will cover it's later, Okay, it's wonderful. Hello everyone, My name
is Slow. Sorry I didn't only the introduced myself to everyone here. Hello,
do they look like your ship is really fucked up? I'm sorry.
He looks at constellation. It's like swear jar I don't know. And he
takes out a space to balloon a space nickel space and he puts it in
constellations swear fantasy swear not wow, wow, fantasy wow, what's wrong with
me? Or her sci fi space jar, her space bag of holding their
space bag holding and yes, constellation says yes, um cool are you feeling
Are you feeling better? And Check looks to you buttons yes, no,
much much better. I um, yeah, I could not thank you and
your friend enough. You's far. My vote is you stay on the shape.
Lord knows we could use more help fixing it. That that reminds me.
I don't I don't even want to maybe ask this question. But what
was Born? Is he? Is he? You guys? Did he?
Does something happen? He? Um? Well, we got to the other
ship and you know, vampirates, and what was all Born going to do?
Well? He died? He died, is what happened? He's dead.
Three just kind of like nods and looks over at like slow and because
I'm like will, we are having an opening, So I do assume that
two is better than biorn. However I like it. We'll say that's a
nasty that's a nasty twenty on an insight check. Okay, yeah, roll
rolland wow, Roland, can you know me? Alan Nolan? Nolan?
You know me? A deception check? Pack him up, sit him now
and throw him over there you go? Is Buttons his Buttons a good person?
Buttons is an anti hero? Yeah, because I was like Slaws and
three are definitely evil. I don't even think I don't even think three even
thinks twice about or it was a nineteen on the die, so it was
twenty seven total. Oh my gosh, Well I'll put it. I'll put
it this way again. Buttons, you were there. You can't remember exactly
the way it went down because you were in the middle of a fight and
honestly out of the episode. The whole fight took about fifteen seconds, so
there was there was a lot happening. Yeah, so I will again,
I will say, what is the last time you have no cause to disbelieve
Slausa? Yeah, but you're not sure if that's exactly how it went down?
Yeah. Literally, the only reason I rolled inside was because no one
really irl biffed that lie. So uh he um is I didn't kill him?
What happened to be? Yord I? Didn't kill him. That isn't
what I asked. I just se what happened to I know, and I
didn't kill him anyway. So as as you start talking about byorn your buttons,
I think, with fairly good reasoning, you are very slightly suspicious of
that. But consolation kind of doesn't give you a whole lot of time to
talk about it. As she she chimes in, and she says, Okay,
here's the thing, and she points to Slaan and she says, we
need to get him, as I already said, to the old rex Asterism,
because we need to get him out of here. Yes, how do
how do you? How do you spell that the the old rex Astrium?
You see like like threes, like like typing on like a google like a
purple yeah, like a purple like like, uh all, what was that
like incorporeal keyboard with the old screen And he's like, oh, that is
that is not that is not close but it's knocked on the way where is
it is? It is just as I said you you would know the old
existerism is. It's sort of like it'd be like m equivalent of like I
don't know if you guys have this in your in your cities, but like
in like La and like Orlando, there's like legends of like oh there's like
old abandoned theme parks and like old abandoned zoos and stuff. It's like those
they actually do exist. So like there's you know enough to know that it's
real, but you don't exactly know where it is, aside from the fact
that it's like far away past, like the legends all speak of like past
several like corpses and whatnot. Um And then to just put those suspicions to
rest, the constellation pulls up a map and she's like, oh, here,
it's right here. Oh thank you. Think that would have been nice.
It is. It is a decent ways away. It is going to
be one of the farthest that you you your crew has gone. It is
almost out of this this actual system. And you mentioned how much the bloons
were on the table honest, and she she kind of like she she's her
daggers and like kind of like kind of pops. The squat sits up on
like on one of like the counters or we're like we're one of like the
main computer. No, no shoes on the counter, please, yeah,
no, I say, in that let's put some back down. But then
she's like still just kind of sitting on the one of the bridges, and
she says, honestly, whatever you want, you could name your price and
I could get it to you, because, as I've said, we're trying
to help him get out of here for a couple of reasons. As I've
already said, I feel like he's different. I feel like he's special.
I feel like he deserves better than being subjugated and locked into a hive mind,
not that that's anything wrong with that, And she looks over to you,
Um, well, that's fine, that's fine for some, but not
all. Some collectives are, you know, a little worse than others?
Which collective? Did you say that he came from exactly? For the first
time in a while and in the five that you've known her, uh,
you see a constellation, get a little nervous, and she like kind of
looks over at slal and he's like, well, I I am from a
Where where are we exactly? And he like goes and looks over at a
at a map that you have a display, and he like does some quick
calculations like Okay, we're far enough away. Um, my society, my
mind, my my elder brain. His name is Kldescic. I don't want
to be a part of that anymore. He looks over at consolation and says,
sorry, if I'm telling you, you're part of this story, Slal
says say to himself, Oh no, it's fine. Oh no, please,
no, it's fine. No no, no no. Um he look,
he says, constellations, constellations. I'm trying to do like a younger,
like like a higher it's it's it's weird, um, constellations. Mother
had the very bad misfortune to be captured by some of my collective. This
was years ago, and she didn't treat me like I'm a monster. She
showed me kindness and compassion, and she showed me love. And it was
the best thing that had ever happened to me, because until that point,
I was just a faceless member in a large family that doesn't care about anything
but itself. Receiving those emotions and feelings and just all of that from from
Margaret was eye opening and I don't think I can go back to that.
But that's that's a weak reason to travel the planes in the universe. I'm
also trying to I don't know if you all know this, I'm word of
a prince. That might be the easiest way to describe it for you.
Three. I'm next in line, basically, if you do make music,
not that kind of prince, although that's wonderful. We have seen some purple
Rain takes off his raspberry beret and he like put his pocket. The prince
might have been the wrong way to describe that. Keldesic is losing power.
He's not like a battery. His mind isn't isn't astrology as abuse to be.
He didn't buy duras energizer, brainy, energizer, brainy. He's he's
beginning to die and lose influence. Oh and let me look here real quick.
And he pulls up a DMG and he says, I don't give a
fuck if that's not the way this actually works. That's the way. It's
the way it gives now, um and he's and so then Slaw says,
if if we can get to all Rex, the all rex asterism, and
if I can get away from him is proverbial line will be broken and we
can help rid at least this part of the universe of a of a great
and terrible evil. Slalsa has been gawking this entire time, which I imagine
is an odd looking thing to do with a beak with teeth and tacle,
just like like erect Um. And I think subconsciously Slalsa has their hands on
their dagger that they have slowly been pulling suckers off, while Slal has been
talking, trying to calm themselves down. And Slalsa goes up to Slal and
says, that's not what most people have been hearing, and it's probably information
you should keep among ourselves. We can get you to where you need to
go, but it will take some time. Sorry, Darling. Um is
the ship working. It seems a little more buzzy than usual. As you
see one of your one of your thrusters like float past you, floating past.
Sorry. He takes his like extremely long fingers and like flix them outward
and you see like a holographic display of the ship open up. And then
he slowly turns and looks at Buttons. I'll get to work, but it's
like a bunch of red flashing things around Buttons. Buttons grabs small I'd love
to help um and and Slaw points out, you know he saw like does
that cool iron man thing where he like actually takes like just the hologram part
of your display off and he holds it in his hands and he starts spinning
the ship and zooming in and like you get the sense to like he is
sorry. He's like, I didn't know, I couldn't know. Oh,
it's it's it wasn't the new the new update. You use three fingers instead
of you didn't read the patch notes like whips open like a like a ringed
BINDRSS, flipping through hundreds of pages like no, no, no, and
Slaw starts like expanding this and zooming in and like getting like exact diagnostics and
stuff, and he um, you look at the sense that he has either
done this before or he is just incredibly intuitive and smart. But what he
says, oh no, um, well, it looks like a couple of
the your systems and your your pieces are not quite working as they should,
um obviously, but it looks like we might need some new parts. Um.
And he points to he like points to the to the air system and
you see as he like kind of zooms and twists around, you see the
the Chuck's capacitor yes, no, checks out completely like like burnt out and
like that pine. You're gonna you're gonna need like a new a new piece
for that. It's just going shit shit. Shoot, that's the one piece
that does talk, but it's only when it's broken, and it's it sounds
exactly like a morbidly obese man going. Um. So basically he points out
the air system one of the thrusters. That wasn't a joke. You're gonna
need to you can need a new thruster. Okay. This consolation speaks up
at that point and says that's actually wonderful. Um, sorry, not wonderful,
but that she points out to like the Hammerhead Shark ship and she's like,
we got a whole ship right there we can salvage from Slasa. Is
there any rope on the deck, like on the deck that we're on.
Absolutely, And I think I think I wouldn't want to do this now that
we're three episodes into this, after the very detailed fight that we have to
do, now that we did um this the waspship is made of wood and
your y'all's bridge imagine, okay, imagine it's the top of the waspship looks
like the top of like a regular pirate ship. It is open to the
world. There are ropes, there are barrels, there are things like the
backside of it is like a somewhat contained cockpit area where the bridge is,
and this is where all this has taken place. Um So to answer your
question, yes, there is rope, there are there's boarding gear, there's
you know, multiple ways of getting on the ship. And it's been several
minutes and the ship hasn't moved, so you're pretty sure that one's there.
Three three reaches down and grabs something from beside him out of it a holster
and throws it over to Slalsa, which is a broom. He says that
I treat her right, and you catch a broom of flying that that that
three has for one of his items. I love that you always were better
at it than me. You know the episode of SpongeBob where Squidword gets really
beautiful and he's got like the really nice butt. Slalsa grabs it and as
they turn around to sit on the groom and you just see this perfect profile
Slalsa thick to shame the race. Do you shop at Lululemon, Oh,
my gosh, athletic dear, you have to a little bit and uh yeah,
yes, keep keep going. How far away is the hammerhead from our
ship? I'm gonna say it's starting to kind of drift. You guys.
You both ships are are disabled. Three one starts to try to move the
ship as much as he could, probably towards the other one. I imagine
it's very slow. Yes, it's like that, like um, you know,
and like I think it's like a arrival or anyway when it sounds like
you see like an actual spaceship, there's like the little jets that like come
out sort of like keep it going straight course. Yeah, it's like those
kind of things for you. Are you trying to get into the ship?
SLAWSA, Yes, yeah, I was gonna So I was going to offer
to go over and start, um disassembling things so that Buttons and Slaal could
have the parts they needed. Before you do consolation, We'll want to say
something to you. If no one else has anything, you're trying to say,
is moving moving things? Got it? Um? You head out to
like the main deck, Slasa, and Consolation kind of follows you out as
Buttons and Slaw start to go fix the ship and whatever like whatever they can
right now yea, and Consolation comes kind of taps on the shoulder slaws and
she says, okay, um, hey, hi, I'm Consolation. I
know dear you've you've said thank you. Um. So, really the reason
we were on that ship they have something that we need to make this the
rest of this journey happen. And we I snuck on, I got caught,
I got away. I was running way through the the rock of bra
blah blah blah blah. I saw y'all ship. I jumped on. They
I obviously didn't do good enough job because they followed us right here. The
captain captain? Did she say her name? Did the captain tell you her
name? Or I can tell you right now because she did, But let's
say you don't need to say the name, just saying the captain. Yeah,
it's the captain, Yeah, the captain captain gwynever golden teeth, delicur,
that's the one. She had. An item. It's called the star
Mapperum. It looks like a sex tent because it is. And damn right.
The one thing that this can do is this has the power to move
certain stars. Three like looks up and he's like stops like moving things in
the ethereal keyboard and kind of looks over it at Slaalsa and buttons. Move
the stars or you rewrite the stars, whatever way you want to say it.
Rewrite the stars sounds like a cheesy Disney song. Well it actually sorry.
There was a play that came through the Rock of Brawl recently about a
circus and who was on that it was? It was called the most mediocre
show. Guy did have that amazing wind wind. Yeah, she's a really
cool wind person. What are they what are they called the wind wind people?
I'm blinking in well, it's a weeple. I never saw this show.
I was always more interested in the huge rockman the lead. You know.
The irony of it is, he's an iron column, not a rock
column, neither here nor there. And she says, she says, yeah,
that was we were trying to get that item. So if you when
you're up there, if you could grab it, you guys can have it.
I don't. I don't need it much after we complete the constellation.
Um, so what you're telling me is there's an incredibly powerful, magical item,
extremely power kids rewrite parts of the astral plane the place where I live.
Yes, and we can have it. Yes, lovely, he passed
her on the head and the zips over. It just gets on the broom.
Lovely, all right, m part. Yeah, So basically, uh,
and we don't have to necessarily go too deep into the detail of this,
but you do need to find something for the thrusters. You need to
find something the shuck's capacitor for the for the air system, and two tasks
that Slalsa needs to do. I had a feeling, Um, so we'll
jump to the other boys rope. There's anything the other boys are trying to
do. Slaws just holding none of the ships, just holding one the ship.
I mean, Buttons is just fixing the ship with Slall. I think
he's showing him what he's been doing, but actually being like really open to
whatever ideas Slaal has because slaws are really good sounding board for ideas. Yeah,
and it's it's pretty cool. It's it's this has been probably the first
time, maybe ever since being on the ship that you've had someone to like
kind of talk shop with ye and like not just talk shop like slow is
like suggesting and saying things about these mechanical systems in these in these spaceship systems,
that like that, only like a young innocent mind would ever be able
to like fathom that you as a bit older and a bit more jaded or
like, oh, that could never work. We can't seal this up with
bubblegum. But then you, yeah, we maybe we could, Like he's
it's like it's like that that fresh, fresh set of eyes. Yeah,
and like you guys just you're just going at it and he's he's helping you,
you're helping him, and you guys are talking about the different capacitors and
he's very curious, so he would probably end up asking you about like what
you are too. Yeah, So then I guess that's that's what's happening on
the on the Winona as we as we jump over too slows are what are
you trying to accomplish on the now deserted And just because I wanted to be
this way, very creepy hammer head parent ship, like there's like weird shafts
of light and dust. The amount of time it took for it to go
from you know, pretty good, nice well kept ship to dead space is
incredibly sure. Slalsa has made a habit of not moving quickly. Aristocracy all
around. Don't move fast, don't do anything without purpose. And they get
to the hammerhead on the flying Broom, get off. They take a length
of the rope and they cut five or six feet of it off, and
they find the portal down to the decks where they teleported. Run down.
They start opening all of the coffins until they find Biorn. And just to
make it even a little more evil, you see Biorn there's he looks colder,
he looks he looks dead, but he likes it as it as the
coffin opens up, you see him like his eyes open up and he starts
to reach a little bit towards you. Not in like a oh Jacob Marley.
It's like he's he's just like just trying to cling onto anything right now.
He's he's not long for this world. Slalsa is kind of in panic
mode, trying to cover their tracks right now. And they take the shortened
length of rope and as they see the hand come up, run it onto
the orange throat and real quick, make a loop and pull as hard as
they can. And with the other hand they hold up a piece of tentacle
from some creature that they've been holding onto a spell component, and you see
that tentacle just crumble into unlife and dust. And at the other end of
the rope opens up and he casts rope trick and opens up a three by
five foot window into this extra dimensional space, and Slalsa stands up and bodily
pushes the casket with Biorn into it into this space and closes the window.
Yeah, I'm not I'm gonna make you roll for that. You you absolutely
do that. Like you, there's this tense moment of like born like scrabbling
at his at the rope on his neck and trying like grabbing unto your arm.
Actually make me just just for fun, make me a dexterity saving throw
natural woman six. Okay, um, then yeah, so this will make
things a little more interesting. The little the dollar store pirate costume that you
are wearing. Oh hold on, yeah, okay, So he grabs onto
that and we hear this ripping sound. It's weird because as the camera kind
of cuts out a little bit, your clothes look fine. There was nothing
that was ripped, but we definitely heard a ripping sound. And you push,
you push the coffin with Bjorn into it into this extra dimensional space and
you cover your tracks. Um, you're probably breathing kind of hard. That's
I don't even want to ask you how you feel, because that's scary.
Yeah, Slalsa is um. They're they're collecting themselves again. But they are
definitely more flustered than I think three or Buttons are used to them seeing hum.
After that, they make short work. They go and find the components
that they heard. They start getting a thruster tied down, so then Buttons
knows where it is. They find the chuck's capacitor. They go up to
the captain and does the captain have any jewelry of any kind? Yeah,
there's a there's a bit that s left over. Um, there is just
you definitely see you definitely see her her very cool cloak which is like a
scarlet red cloak with like black and gold trim um. And it's got no
sleeves, no sleeves, all those guns out, not even a hint of
a scene, not even in fact, you see several several like posted notes
sewn into where the sleeves of being says there's never been a sleeve here.
This is a long vest. If you call them jacket, I will stab
you. Wow. Yeah I took this personally. You do see her her
there are two rings that stayed, there's a little patch of money that stayed,
and her sword and stay, do I find the sexton first Roman investigation
check. You are going to find it. I'm not gonna like, I'm
just gonna see how long it's gonna take. Investigation is fifteen total. You
don't see it on her, but you have a pretty good idea where it
would be. You you you, I don't know if Slus has been on
a hammer Head ship before. I know you've seen it. I don't know
if you've been on one, probably seen it, but don't know the intricacy
of the layout. Cool. Well, then, in the as any good
space or any good wild space adventure would do, you start just kind of
methodically making your way through. Can I take the biggest gem that she had
on her? Yeah? Okay, so yeah, you see that she actually
had like a necklace. It doesn't look magical in any way, but you
you have a necklace of I'll let you pick what it looks like. And
your choices are these dice that I'm picking up right now. You've got this
smoky kind of black, almost like smoke quartz. You've got the same but
amethyst, smokey amethysts sort of a deal acid green or as green, fire
engine cherry red. I was gonna say, is that acid green? Is
that the Ecto cooler from Dice in bed? Is the Ecto cooler one of
my favorites Today's sponsor Dice nd Yeah, I think I want to go with
the smoky quartz Coolna smoky quartz, big hunkle smock qualt. Like it's like
that cool kind of like jewelry style where it's like it looks like the raw
gem like like wire wrapped around it. Like yeah, very like not not
like finished or polishing anyway, Like the gem is polished, but not like
or the fashionings of the necklace are not polishing anyway. As as I'm going
over the captain's body looking for the sexton, the gem that I just procured,
Slaalsa delicately allows their tentacles to like touch the Captain's head and just kind
of sucks out some memories. That's some things I didn't know I needed to
know. Very nice and she was. She was really good at pickleball.
I didn't know you could hit pickles that hard, gets up and they're gonna
cast sending to Buttons and three just say I have some of the quarts procured.
Whenever you're able to get over here, we can start the I'm going
to talk for the captain squarters and see if I can find this little dude,
I think the racist. Yes, Buttons and I are just preparing the
on ramp. Well maybe just me by myself. I don't know what Buttons
wimp. The Winona is getting closer and closer, like very solid. Yeah,
um uh. You eventually do find the captain's quarters. It takes a
little while. Um. Her quarters are very creepy, like just one big
coffin, like right in the middle of the room. A lot of spiderwebs,
but not like nasty, cheap spiderwebs from Halloween stores, like after Silky.
You see the spider in there. It is a beautiful yellow jumper.
Oh there's no, no, no, They're beautiful to look at. There's
there's one in a truck that's been parked for months in my neighborhood that I
passed every day, and I'm like, God, that is a beautiful spider
that I will never get closer than twenty feet too. I can honestly say,
I don't know if I've ever said those words, that is a beautiful
spider. Does she have any crystal like wine decanters or blood decanters. Yeah,
absolutely, she's pretty. She's pretty, she's pretty wealthy. It's pretty
ritzy. Slassa with the sexton one hand tucks it into a pocket somewhere and
grabs one of the crystal decanters and holds it up and goes m it seems
of the right quality. And they smash it on the ground and they take
out of their tentacles the small container that Buttons gave them with the brandy inside
of it, and they painfully grab the broken parts of the crystal and slowly
begin to put it into this container inside of the brandy. And after they
get you know, a little bit inside, they tuck that back into their
tentacles and send another message. All right, boys, whenever you're ready,
I'm quite quite tired. It's time for no one. The fuck was that
about? What? What was what about? No one? No one?
No one? David? The fuck was that about? I don't know.
I blacked out for a minute. All I know is that you guys eventually
do reconvene. You're good, You're good, You're good, good, good.
Don't worry, cab, we can scratches. I thought you said west
so good. Yeah, three three pilots, some in throws down some type
of on ramping boarding ledge and h maybe a rope or two, I don't
know. And is button's back up on the deckers buttons still down. I'm
gonna jump to a scene real quick before that happens with with buttons and Slow
as they're fixing buttons, as the ships start to nudge up against each other
and doc against each other. Buttons, you you're working with Slow, and
it's going pretty well, like you know that pretty much at this point,
like now, it's been probably better an hour maybe two, you know,
other than like the parts that you need, like this ship is pretty much
fixed up as best it can. And once you have Slow finish up right
as like you hear from three like buttons, buttons, where are you you?
Slows like just sort of like stops and he is looking at over over
the nott Ocean, over the wild space, into the middle distance, into
the yeah, and he says, have you ever have you ever felt called
to something? Would buy something? And I don't mean like, oh I
felt called to be an opera singer like literally called to something, Buttons really
thinks about it. He says, when I was built, I was forced
to do things I didn't consent to necessarily, So Slaw starts nodding like he
totally understands. When I got out and I was free, I I didn't
respond to any call. I made my own. No, I've I've never
heard a call, but I I had to live by one for a while.
What's calling you? And Slaw like, as you were talking about being
born and having to do things against your will, he like he gets a
very like uncharacteristically serious look on his face and just sort of like looks at
you, and he just like is nodding, and he says, I don't
I don't know, but I feel like I'm not supposed to be here.
I feel like there's something And I don't mean this, I mean this quite
literally. I feel like there is someone or something calling me to another space,
to another area. This is going to sound weird. I we have
We had a library back where I'm from, and I saw a picture of
the ocean once. And I'm not saying I'm called to the ocean, but
I read accounts of sailors and people from other other worlds, and how they
would sail these oceans and with not necessarily any particular destination in mind, but
just the fact that they were moving forward and chasing the horizon, that it
that was enough for them. And I think that's the only way I can
describe it. I'd know that if we if I can just get to the
horizon, it'll all be all right. I don't know if I'm making any
sense, Buttons Buns is nodding, and he says oi, And I was.
I was kept below decks where I was, and when I came out
and saw a wild space for the first time, I knew I wanted to
see more of it. If you have seen a place that's new and the
horizon and it gives you hope, pursue it, go after it, because
at this point slow you're free do whatever the fuck you won't don't say fuck
though. Yeah, And he he looks at you and he smiles, and
it's it's weird because he is still Alathi, but it's it's a it's a
kind smile. He doesn't look as terrifying. And you see that again in
his eyes. You see for the first time then that you can know that,
you know, of looking into a mind flare's eyes, it's hard to
describe it. You'd know that he's not being control. He's not you know,
that's on his own. He's genuine. He's genuine, exactly. And
he says, thank you, m I hope you can see all of wild
space. And actually it reminds me um and he he kind of leans in
close to you and he says, if if this plan goes well, we
would need one more component. But there's there's a way that I've been I've
been working and thinking of a way that maybe I could help help you upgrade
this marvelous ship. Sorry, I know I heard you cursing at it a
while ago. I didn't I didn't tell consolation about those though, So don't
worry. No swear jars for you. Thank you. I'm I am not
very rich. If I had to put my money where my mouth was,
I would be in the barrel because I would be nude, so to speak.
Oh well, we don't want that, but I might if well it's
kind of a mood point. We would need we would need a piece of
one of the not alloyed ships. But maybe I could find another way to
do it. But there's a way I could maybe help you warp around a
little bit, depending on if we're going to be moving stars. I know
that sounds buck wild and if we can anyway, we can talk about that
later, unless there's anything else you want to say. He reminds you that
thrage is called, and you, guys, head down. Yeah, no
again. I can see why this gets annoying for Earl. You all,
I'm in the midst of telling a story and you just keep interrupting me for
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Can I get on with the story now? Trust me, it's getting
it's getting good. I mean it's been good, but it's getting better because
some wild pardon my language shit is about to happen and I want you all
to just be in tip top shape for it. So grab your popcorn or
your crunchy seaweed or whatever we eat here on the sea. Monster the gray
stuff, that's what it is. Grab the gray stuff, grabs your friend,
grab your butts, and let's go. Three. I can think while
you're wall this is going on, it probably just got real awkward for you
because it's exactly I was just like. Three is just like sitting with constellations,
just sitting there, consolations, just sitting there, just looking at you.
He absolutely despise small talk. So what's your biggest deepest fear? Oh
um, well, before this, it was spiders. Now I might say
it's kid the Yankee because that was terrifying. That's the correct answer. Yes,
yes, huh so. No, I'm not gonna hurt you. No
unless there's money. Is there's there money? Are you a wanted somewhere?
I don't know. I mean, if you wanted to, like hold me
ransom from my father. Maybe I don't know why I'm giving you this idea.
You see, like from from you know, from the perspective of three,
he's like typing, and you see I get through letters like ransom,
question mark, dash, like consult with slaalsa and buttons. But like I
imagine from her side, it's probably like in a language he's doing in gith
and gith. Come on, yeah, come on. She don't speak.
She don't speak get He's like, though, we don't take we don't take
prisons. It's against our code. Um but no, this is this is
a this is great. Yes, me and you up here? Oh here
I go small talks to hate it? Oh oh here here I go an
thing I caught myself. I almost got to know you. I love.
This is like that John mulaney where it's like talking to his mom. He's
like, well, I don't know what else to talk about, so here
it goes. You ever seen a ghost h and and in constellation? Yeah?
She she also doesn't like small talk, so she's like, no,
this is fine with me. Um and she but I think she's she busies
herself most of the time, like probably like sizing up the ship and like
looking at like opening up the covers and like looking at the wiring and closing
things, and like, oh this AC twenty eight model. Sorry small talk.
Sorry, I'm sorry. Oh I can see your friends lassa there.
That's wonderful, right, yeah. They both like look for the ship and
it's still like just a little bit too far off. So they're like,
I'm gonna go start getting the You said you have a ramp of landing here.
Oh, yeah, that would be great. Actually, um, it's
it's it's just down those stairs, two lefts and then there's a closet.
It's in that closets closet. Just grab that, bring it on up,
and avoid anything that makes any noise. I'm doing very busy work up here.
By the way, don't don't ask me for help. Don't talk to
me. I'm sorry. I've loved all your characters up to this point,
but like I love three right now. This is nope, nope, nope,
nope, no, thank you. I don't want to like you.
That's okay, you're business and she she eventually walks away, and she comes
back at one point she's like, but then I sorry, sorry, Nope,
no, I don't nice right, almost sudden like small talk, almost
like slaw talk. You're funny, but seriously shut up, he starts.
He's just like slamming up, like he's slamming the closed door button, like
over and over again, and it's just like for some reason she's not working.
He's just like, that's one of the broken things standing. She's standing
in the censor that it won't close. It looks like you have a problem
with your with your with your door. You're trying to close that or is
it close on its own? Yep, answer both questions. Um like rotates
it and just like with a full fish, just slams it. She just
she dives through as it and it slams and it cracks and then it actually
gets broken and he's just like, damn it. It's back to furiously typing.
It was fantastic. Honestly, all these scenes have been fantastic, all
very different flavors, but all exquise. I will add a little bits.
As she leaves, he pulls out a dark metal coin wreaths an infernal glowing
a little bit of infernal red, and he starts flicking it through his fingers
and he starts, you know, he says, she did say anything we
could ask for, and then you know, then then he's like, oh,
that's you, the audience trying to have the small top. How dare
you? How dare you try to get to know things? A fourth wall
here for a reason, and you're trying to crack it down. Here I
go trying to close this wall was broken as well. Oh boy, as
like as we cut intermission and like the curtain comes down and you're but it
like comes down behind you and you're like, damn, missin Um. And
after all this happens, U three buttons and slaw them down to the to
the main deck. It right as right as uh Consolation does somehow manage to
find the button for like the cargo deck. The little the ramp comes down
as you guys are kind of firefly style like docked up against this next ship
or this bigger ship, and like your your two little airlocks come out and
con join as Slawsa and let's there something else you're trying to do on the
Hammerhead ship. Slasa um you you make your way back on the board.
Yeah, Salasa is ready to reboard. The window cool and I think they
do it in grand fashion, just like you know, waving to everybody and
they land, thank you, it's good to be back. Now fix my
ship. I'll be in my coold button. But before you go to your
quarters, consolations like oh the the star mapper did you find that super important?
Takes it out like the merchant from the first scene in a Laddin hold
it out. Maybe not this time, but do you see Oh yeah,
all right, okay, yeah, if you need it, that's fine.
I was gonna hold on to it. But if you know that's fine,
you're not going anywhere. Is it difficult to use? Is there an instruction
manual I missed? Do you have to use it? Yes? And you
can roll in insight check on consolations like why did I jump on this ship?
This fucking ship of weirdo? A nine total on my insight, she
got six, she got six on her deception it. You're a very you're
a very smart being. As you had it, you were looking at it.
You you get this since that you could use it. You are a
mind flare. That is a thing you can actually do. Slasa pulls it
out and has that realization and they hand it to constellation Slawsa wants to do
that thing where like you hand something to somebody and they grab it, but
you grab it and you pull them in closer as they're grabbing it, and
she kind of comes in a little closer. I want you to know that
we had this mission given to us and it was shredded in front of us
because it wasn't important. So just make sure it stayed that way. And
Slalsa let's go of their end of the sextant and then patterns off and you
all see a consolation kind of taking it back a little bit. She kind
of turns to the rest of the crew that's on the on the main bridge
here and she's like, that guy's kind of terrifying. I have a strong
suspicion that three is absolutely in love with Slalsa, so very very strong suspicion
that three is like yes, that's the person that Yeah, that's it,
that's the person. There is a strong will they walt they vibe between the
two of them and button absolutely haz erotic friend fiction Slaws would be. I
don't know, I just imagine like three is just like because yeah, would
like the calls says that three is like yes, yes, he is Slas
approached three, he's tentacles quivering. Three, opens to speak, but realizes
all he has to say a small talk, says, that's not so small.
I hope you don't mind beak teeth. Chapter two, Chapter two,
Calamari sixty. They're not very well written from it. It's like it's it's
a graphic novel, very graphic. And I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say
just to move this along, not that I'm not enjoying the please, please,
I'm gonna say, just from a couple of you, you managed to
fix the ships, buttons and Slas, Buttons and slal. That's actually surprising.
It the first time that's happened. Buttons and sal. You reinstall the
Shuk's capacitor, you reinstall the thruster. You now have the the the star
mapper, and you have the map itself from um, what's your face constellation.
So then within just a matter of hours we see the Winona undocked from
the Hammerhead Shark, the Grinning Void as the name should have been actual.
That's at this point you see, as you're getting away from it, you
see like underneath one of the Finns written in very vampiric Gothic letters the grinning
void um and you're like, oh, that's the name of it, um,
and you all shoot up into wild space towards the old Rex the stairs.
I'm assuming we get a long rest now correct, Yes, absolutely,
And I kept forgetting to mention this um buttons. When Slaw fix you,
your your hit points went up to maximum. In fact, I think he
even he even did such a good job. I'm going to say your hit
points increase by five points. Slaws very good at what he does, which
is everything everything you all sail on for a bit, and in fact it's
it's it's a couple of days. You were able to dock in with the
hammer head long enough to refresh your air and get your air fixed up.
You know that you have enough of your good air, um not foul air.
You're good air to make it to if constellations map is correct, and
you are as good of would it be starfinders, sure, as good as
star finders as you actually as you are, you know that you would have
enough to get there. Do do the dang thing and get back. Do
we have a course set at all? I mean, like, are there
easier ways to go? Is there like a shorter path it's more dangerous or
a longer path. Oh oh say no, you at this point, you
guys are on the fastest path. And um, so you actually you actually
sail through wild space unadultered. You you make it through that. You see
a couple occasionally another ship pass by, You see a death comment go by.
Every once in a while, you see as you're getting farther and farther
away from the center of this um wild space system, you're starting to see
the next wild space system, which is floating farther away from you in the
astra we'll see because you're getting pretty close to the to the like the outskirts
the outer rim of this wild space system. You pass by corpses of dead
gods, abandoned and derelict ships along the way, occasional planets and other asteroids.
But for the most part, it's uneventful. And yeah, you're you're
you're moving, you're moving and grooving. After a couple of days, and
does anyone have anything pressing they want to say or do in that time?
I was I was just gonna say like as we pass something, buttons definitely
just lets the team know we've got a scissor hands situation. But once we
get past uh, some of the danger, everything's fine. You're about to
call out scissor hands, yeah, and in but we're good. We're good.
Okay, cool, I got it. Um. Is there any way
that Slulsa can make contact with the elder brain? Um? Actually, roll
roll me a wisdom. What's better for you? Wisdom? Intelligence? Um
intelligence significantly? So that roaming an intelligence saving throw eighteen excellent. You're you're
as as you're going as you guys are kind of getting that weird almost cabin
fever. But like, let's call it the space silence. As you guys
have just been sailing in that hum, that that low hum for several days
now, nothing really is loud or causing noise except for the people on the
ship. So you feel a buzz in the back of your brain and you
you don't get this sense. Nope, that's a lie. They are high
minded. Yes, you do get the sense that you're talking to the elder
brain, but it seems very very thin, like the voice is very very
small, and it seems like it's coming from someone else, if that makes
any sense. Yes, slalso wants to keep it brief and again not to
draw too much attention to themselves, but to their situation, and they just
tweet out two words rex Steerism and then cuts contact excellent fuck and yeah that
is that is the only real thing of significance that happens along along the journey.
But eventually you guys make it to the ole rex Asteerism, and this
is what you see. You all have seen stars. Y'all have seen planets.
Y'all have seen the corpses of dead, decaying gods as you as you
get to the old rex Asterism, you see a plethora of stars and it
looks like they are arranged in several circles. You can't see any pattern to
their layout. You also see they look a lot closer than stars often the
galaxy somewhere else. Like you get the sense that maybe this is sort of
a Rick and Morty moment of like you could actually maybe touch these stars.
It's like tiny planet. Yeah literally, yeah, it's full of stars.
You all are very intelligent, very smart people. You feel the power and
you feel the significance of this place. You you know that in some of
the stories, the ul rex Sasterism has been rearranged to open portals to open
gateways into other worlds and other parts of this reality and parts of this universe.
And as you are all standing there, I'm gonna say, everyone's back
on the bridge. As you are all standing there, constellation appears or she
she she steps forward, and she has the She brings the slaw forward,
and she has the star mapper, and she has a scrap of paper.
She holds it up to Slal, and Slal looks at it and nods,
and he looks at what looks like a symbol on the scrap of paper.
I'm gonna need to alter roll either investigation or perception checks. That's a natural
one. This I'm gonna tell you this anyway. Yeah, I don't know
how ad you roll for that. You didn't think I'd fail. I have
a really bad habit of just like making you guys role for everything when there's
like stuff I should just tell you. But what I like about that role
is it's totally fine. And and Threy, you got a nineteen what did
you get? Saus So three, you're actually the only one that that this
registers with all three, All three of you see it, all three of
you see what it looks like. And it looks like a pizza with six
pepperoni's on it. Well that's not enough for anyone, now, is it.
Yeah, well wildly lactose, intolerant. But in character, you guys
wouldn't know what this is, seriously a pizza. No, hear what I
hear what I'm saying. But I'll tell you what it is right now out
of character. It's the symbol of neath um and three. With the nineteen
that you got, you recognize something in that symbol drags up something deep in
your mind and you remember reading something. Maybe he was on the mind Flare
Colony. Maybe it was just one of the many times you were in the
Rock of Brawl the libraries. Maybe it was with Dolwar, but you under
you remember something called the Protoplane. The only thing you really remember about it
is that it is somehow in between something else. You're not entirely sure,
you're not talking sure what it is, but that is what you get.
You're like, oh, that's that's weird for Slalsa and buttons. You just
think it's a cool symbol. Yeah, dope. And as m constellation shows
this to Slal, he nods and he looks up and he wraps his mind
flare fingers and long tentacles around the star mapper, and he starts to look
out at these stars that maybe you seem a little closer than than then then
you thought they were originally. And he starts to adjust dials and just knobs
on his sextant and you see the stars starting to react to what he's doing,
and they very slowly start moving into position of the symbol of meath.
Right at that moment, you hear a beep, and that's the microwave done
with our Djorno pizza. And Bjorn comes from the dead, jokes on you.
It's not delivery it. It's no And as you're looking at this like
truly breathtaking of amazing, amazing, amazing sing three. As you're looking at
this amazing sun three, you're looking at this young mind flare literally repositioning the
stars in the sky, you look down at your radar and you see another
ship coming to your radar view. That's interesting, that's what that beeping was.
It was your censor's going off. You recognize this as a non a
Lloyd ship which primarily, in fact almost exclusively or piloted by mind flares.
He looks over at Slosa says, uh Slosa, Yes, dear points at
the radar. This seems to be not alloid ship. Oh that's not good.
No, No, I didn't. I wouldn't. I didn't think so
either. Did you have anything to do with that? Um? No?
Wow? That this halo racist? You see slaw actually turn around it like
the stars stopped moving each other. That was pretty racist. Wow. Yes,
yes, yes it is. Yes, I'm not the biggest fan.
Also looks at three and then looks to Buttons, and they put their fingers
together and go, I think this calls for another one of our dynamic maneuvers.
Buttons, wouldn't you say silacco was in order for tonight in the taste
silacco? Indeed? Right at that point? Yeah you uh you you?
The phone rings again? Send it the voicemail area co just says United States.
No. The area show says do you do? You do you answer
that? The hail? Andy? Uh? Three does answer it? And
this is actually what what you see. The TV turns on very much in
the way I did with Keta HBO. Come over static and you hear you
hear the Game of Thrones song? Don't The screen lights up and it looks
like there's quite a few illa fed mind flares looking at you, all of
them standing completely still, all of them looking directly into the camera. They
don't say anything, they just look at you. After a moment after it
gets like after you get the sense that they were just like looking at you,
and you're starting to feel the presence of these of these mind flares.
Is a large group of mindflares is getting very close to you. The feed
cuts. Slalsa goes up to Buttons and puts their hand on them. It
seems there's still a little ways away, So why don't we try a gold
dragon this time? Fair enough? So Slalsa is going to catch the movie?
Is that which one on a rider? Movie? Is that one?
I'm gonna cast polymorph onto corporal buttons, and corporal Buttons feels this change come
over them. And we've done this maneuver a lot, having been in wild
space. They know that polymorph is coming. However, they change into an
awakened shrub. Your hit points are now ten, your AC is nine,
and your move speed is twenty. Slalsa turns around to look at three and
there is this golden spider web of light that is starting to drip down their
face. You set of shit. The entirety of their body shatter, and
shards of light seem to float away and get sucked into this vortex on the
head of the Alhouon zecdo as they walk out where Slaltsa's skin was this coral
pink and purple and orange, Zecto's skin is dying bleached coral. Their eyes
are milky and white, and their voice comes out of a throat that has
not been slaked for thirst in hundreds of years. They are wearing a purple
fitted jacket up top with tutor shoulders and long flowing sleeves and a tall collar.
As it goes down to their waist, though it becomes a little more
ethereal, and all of the folds and pleats of the skirt that hits the
floor. Every step that they take seems to take on a face of someone
that has been devoured by a lich mind flare and Zecto holds up They take
their hands out of their sleeve, and they hold up a soul coin and
they look at three. They say, when I ant Slass's mind, the
biggest prize I've on I had found was an iosiodean wizard and a duteomancy on
top of that power that I hadn't imagined him forever. And they turn around
they point at Slow with this. It's a gem I never thought I could
have pained. They reach under their tentacles and they pull out the container of
liquid and it started to putrefy, and it's puss and disgusting, dying unlife
inside of it. And they pulled the gem out of their pocket and they
slam it on top and begin to shake it, and it bubbles and jitters
and shakes, and they throw it at the feet of Slow and magic begins
to pour out of this broken container as he's trying to cast magic jar to
pull Slaltz's mind essence brain existed, trying to pull his soul into my ful
actory to contain him. And Slalsa turns to the group and says, I'm
giving on this ship, and whether they know it or not, I'm killed
and killed Desk and becoming the next ruler of wild Space. Yeah. Yeah,
though three three is just like oh, but then I think he like
uh kind of like looks around, takes him it and then just kind of
sits up and says, you were much prettier with with without all this.
What did you do to Slalsa? It's fucking army of darkness? You found
me beautiful once, honey, you got real lovely as a As you see
the jar, the crystal, the thing you threw at Slaw's feet, it
rupped and break these flames it rubbed out all across the deck, and you
see Constellation gets thrown from the side of Slaw and you actually see her go
over the side of the ship. And you here you see Slaw drop the
drop the star mapper, and you see he just lets out this scream as
you see these flames starts to burn and disfigure his body as he starts to
like scream and let out this unearthly cry for help as he gets burned and
then sucked into this jar, and the flames start to spread across the deck
of the Winona. As Buttons is a shrub, as Threy is just kind
of sitting there. And one thing, that was a beautiful description. Thank
you so much for doing that for us. One change to it. One
change to it is and I think Buttons you will be able to see this.
And three you definitely be able to see this. In his immaculate litch
Wizard robes with the with the faces of those who he's devoured. You actually
see the sleeve of one of his arms is actually ripped down, and like
it's like the one blemish on this almost perfectly terrifying visage as as slawsa,
I'm sorry a Zecto. As you walk forward, you you pass by not
your friends, but what they thought they thought you were a friend. You
passed by them, leaving them alone. As you walk and you scoop up
through the flames, this jar now containing the burnt and disfigured body of young
Slaw. And you turn around and it's this, just this awesome image of
the half finished symbol of net right behind you, off the off the bow,
the fire at your feet kind of starting to grow and burn the wood
of the Winona. And I'm gonna say you just sort of wink like tiddle
your fingers as you hear the sound of as slow as Zecto, Hen's teleported
away onto the not Aloid ship. I think that's where we're going to end
tonight. I'm Nolanc and I've been playing Zecto this entire time. You can
find me at gbqpod on Twitter. That's a lie, you can find what
I do at gbqpod. You can find me at end Lacy seventy Stag Take
it Away. My name is Stag Horn on the Good Better Quest podcast.
My name is David Hallman. I am the fungen master for the Good Better
Quest Podcast. It is a good, happy, fun time most of the
time. Um. You can find me at at stag underscore Horn and I'm
playing Corporal Buttons. Yeah, Andy, go for it. Shuahua So yeah,
Andy tilsa here um playing Thragon Iocodia and he hate small talk so see
later. What a good comic. Hello everybody, my name is David Telstra,
and today I've been your dungeon master. I got nothing funny for this.
I'm just excited. That was I wish you could have seen our faces.
That was phenomenal. Rondo applause for Nolan everybody. Yeah, seriously,
see you all in two weeks. Thanks bye bye. Our theme song was
written by John Lowell Anderson. Sound effects and music provided by artless dot Io
and freesound dot Org, edited by David Tilstra and sound design by Christian Spinella.
And finally, a huge thank you to Kendari O'Connor for his invaluable sound
mastering. Oh mine, gosh, who good job Nolan. That was that
was pretty great. Um seriously, Rondo applause for Nolan. That was a
pretty amazing setup and reveal there of Slalsa slash Zecto being the bad guy.
Um so yeah, yeah, I mean that's the kind of quality you get
with those GBq folks. So go check them out, Go check out Good
Better Quest, And while you're doing that, listen to this. It's just
a big thank you to the Good Better Quest folks for you know, just
being awesome. They're literally bringing their a game and it is making this podcast
so much better. So I just want to say thank you to them,
and I want to say thank you to you. Thank you so much for
all the support and the love and just all the interactions you've given us recently.
It's been super super cool to see you all, you know, just
talking, hanging out, like talking about the story, talking about the side
quest. Just it's cool. It's cool. So thank you for that.
Thank you for just joining us on this wild and wacky story. Yeah,
that's it, that's it, you know, nothing nothing too wild coming up.
Let me think there shouldn't be a bunch of a lot of programming notes
this week because I don't know what's coming up. I know we got a
lot of stuff, so just check our weekly release schedules, check our discords,
check our Twitter. We'll keep you posted. So once again, thank
you so much, and as always, stay happy, stay healthy, and
make sure you send out those birthday invitations to all your cousins and all your
grandparents and all your brothers and all your sisters and all your parents and you
know, just everybody who you want at your birthday party, because this is
your special year. Don't forget it. Don't forget that fact you are turning
that super specific special age that you've always wanted to turn, and today,
Slash, this year is that year. So excuse me. Happy early birthday.
We love you very much and hope you all have a great two weeks.
And that's it. Thanks spite.