WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:03.439 The topics and opinions expressed on the following show are solely those of the hosts 2 00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:06.679 and their guests, and not those of W four WN Radio It's employees or 3 00:00:06.679 --> 00:00:10.919 affiliates. We make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services, 4 00:00:11.000 --> 00:00:14.839 or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability, explicit or 5 00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:19.160 implied shall be extended to W four WN Radio It's employees or affiliates. Any 6 00:00:19.199 --> 00:00:22.399 questions or comment should be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing 7 00:00:22.519 --> 00:00:45.439 W four WN Radio. Well, hello and welcome to Fearless Fabulous You. 8 00:00:45.759 --> 00:00:50.679 I am your host, Melanie Young, and I'm delighted that you're joining me 9 00:00:50.759 --> 00:00:53.960 on the Women for When network. You can hear all my shows anytime on 10 00:00:54.039 --> 00:00:57.439 demand on your favorite podcast channel. I think I'm on like over fifty or 11 00:00:57.520 --> 00:01:02.079 sixty now, including the big ones. iHeart Spotify, Apple. I enjoy 12 00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:07.079 inspiring women around the world and you listeners to live your best life at any 13 00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:11.959 Asian stage, and today we're going to talk about. My theme is I 14 00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:15.239 don't want to live forever. I just want to live my best life now 15 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:22.760 and with no regrets. So lately I have been feeling a little sensitive about 16 00:01:22.760 --> 00:01:26.680 my age. I turned sixty five this year, twenty twenty four. And 17 00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:30.439 it's not that I feel old, because I don't. I frankly call myself 18 00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:34.040 Melanie Forever Young because I feel young and I feel awesome. But it's just 19 00:01:34.079 --> 00:01:38.079 sometimes the way people treat me. And I am going to bring this up 20 00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:44.760 because I talked about it at my last show last week and I was turned 21 00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:47.480 down for a job because I was trying to get a job after being an 22 00:01:47.599 --> 00:01:52.120 entrepreneur, because I was told, oh, you're overqualified and you probably not 23 00:01:52.120 --> 00:01:55.000 going to be comfortable reporting people who are younger than you. Well, no 24 00:01:55.040 --> 00:01:57.760 one really, you know, don't assume anything about me. If I say 25 00:01:57.799 --> 00:02:00.879 I'm comfortable doing something I put, you know I am comfortable. I'm confident 26 00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:05.000 in saying what I say and comfortable in how I feel because I'm comfortable in 27 00:02:05.040 --> 00:02:09.680 my own skin. So don't judge me for what I appear to be or 28 00:02:09.719 --> 00:02:13.479 if you think I'm too old, because that's not the way it should be. 29 00:02:13.520 --> 00:02:19.000 And you listeners should not be judging people as well, because we don't 30 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:23.000 really know what's going on, and we don't really know people's capabilities and amazingness 31 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:24.719 until we get to know them, and I'm finding a lot of people just 32 00:02:24.759 --> 00:02:29.759 don't take the time anymore to get to really know people. They just look 33 00:02:29.759 --> 00:02:32.479 at what's there superficially, what they see, how someone dresses, maybe their 34 00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:36.840 social media, but they don't really take the time to dig in deep to 35 00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:39.319 get to know people. I do because I have a show where I interview 36 00:02:39.400 --> 00:02:43.680 people all the time, and I make it my point to get to know 37 00:02:43.800 --> 00:02:46.680 them and understand them before I have long conversations with them. I used not 38 00:02:46.759 --> 00:02:51.039 to do that when I was younger. I was much more superficial. I 39 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:53.520 was so busy getting work, bringing in business, doing the work, making 40 00:02:53.560 --> 00:02:58.080 clients happy that I ever really got to sit down with my clients to get 41 00:02:58.120 --> 00:03:00.439 to know them and ask them how they were doing. It was just too 42 00:03:00.520 --> 00:03:05.520 busy making sure that we were fulfilling whatever the job was for them. But 43 00:03:05.639 --> 00:03:10.479 now, given time and reflection, I realized that it is important to have 44 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:16.080 that human connection and to think of people you work with as people and not 45 00:03:19.159 --> 00:03:24.319 employers or products or clients or whatever. We're all people. So what's interesting 46 00:03:24.439 --> 00:03:30.319 is I do a lot of research online about people and topics, including retirement 47 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:36.240 and difference between an annuity and an investment fund, and all those things you 48 00:03:36.280 --> 00:03:38.439 need to be more serious about when you grow up. Actually you should be 49 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:42.159 more serious about them when you're younger, but boy, when you're older, 50 00:03:42.199 --> 00:03:49.000 you do get more serious about them. And so now my online inbox is 51 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:53.840 being flooded with marketers who are targeting me with retirement pitches and articles. Many 52 00:03:53.879 --> 00:03:59.319 are about the best and worst places to retire. So evidently New Orleans, 53 00:03:59.319 --> 00:04:01.719 the city that I've just chosen to move with my husband and have settled in 54 00:04:01.719 --> 00:04:04.520 and the door, is one of the worst places to retire and live. 55 00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:10.280 Thank you, Chattanooga, Tennessee. My childhood home where I just left, 56 00:04:10.400 --> 00:04:13.879 is supposedly one of the best. So I'm bucking the trend. I'm always 57 00:04:13.879 --> 00:04:15.920 been ahead of the pack. I go against the trend. Maybe I make 58 00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:18.839 good decisions, maybe I don't, but I do what I feel is right 59 00:04:18.879 --> 00:04:24.000 for me at the time I'm in and right now, I'm very content because 60 00:04:24.040 --> 00:04:28.480 I have many friends in New Orleans, and I enjoy its diversity of culture, 61 00:04:28.560 --> 00:04:31.160 food, music, and beauty. It's more or less affordable, except 62 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:34.680 for the crazy insurance. And now if I can live through a hurricane season, 63 00:04:34.839 --> 00:04:41.600 I'm doing okay and I'm pretty happy, So I really have to stop 64 00:04:41.639 --> 00:04:46.040 turning on the computer early in the morning and seeing this influx of ads telling 65 00:04:46.079 --> 00:04:47.560 me where I should be living and what I should be doing and how I 66 00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:51.839 should be investing my money because I'm getting a lot of annuity ads as well, 67 00:04:53.160 --> 00:04:56.360 and people keep telling me what I should be doing online because of my 68 00:04:56.480 --> 00:05:00.360 age, and I don't really want to hear it unless I ask for it. 69 00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:01.800 I don't need your opinion unless I ask for it. So I'm learning 70 00:05:01.879 --> 00:05:08.800 just to tune out and turn off and find incognito ways to search for things, 71 00:05:09.160 --> 00:05:13.319 and you should too. No affiliation, but I hear duck Duck go 72 00:05:13.519 --> 00:05:15.680 is a good one for that. So here's the reality. According to the 73 00:05:15.800 --> 00:05:19.839 US Census Bureau, by twenty sixty, which seems like a lifetime away, 74 00:05:19.879 --> 00:05:25.120 but it's not, total life expectancy in the United States is projected to reach 75 00:05:25.160 --> 00:05:30.959 an all time high of eighty five point six years since nineteen sixty. The 76 00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:36.519 largest gains in life expectancy occurred around between nineteen seventy nineteen eighty and an increase 77 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:43.120 about three years. And statistically women outlive men, so I'm more likely to 78 00:05:43.519 --> 00:05:48.279 outlive my sixty year old husband who's five years younger than me. Reality check. 79 00:05:49.519 --> 00:05:53.879 So we are living older. And I remember my mother told me she 80 00:05:53.959 --> 00:05:58.600 was lying in bed in her final days and weeks and months. I never 81 00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:01.560 planned to live past eighty, and therefore my finances didn't go that far. 82 00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:08.480 Well, we are living longer, hopefully or not, depending on what happens 83 00:06:08.480 --> 00:06:11.319 in your life. And we, most of us, have not planned for 84 00:06:11.399 --> 00:06:15.879 that. I'm getting that clear and loud in my inbox. So what do 85 00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:23.319 we do well, I'll be honest with you. Sixty is the new forty, 86 00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:28.160 seventy is the new fifty. Age and gender should not be factors when 87 00:06:28.199 --> 00:06:33.519 selecting someone for a job, or or a partnership or anything. They shouldn't. 88 00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:36.920 You shouldn't judge people by numbers. You should judge it by who they 89 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:41.680 are and how amazing they're in what they do, and how they can be 90 00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:48.000 a part of your life. Pragmatically speaking, we have to think beyond that. 91 00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:54.079 So you know now that I've gotten that off my chest, that young 92 00:06:54.120 --> 00:06:57.600 people should not judge elders as too old, and older people should not consider 93 00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:00.560 younger people as an experience, and we all should just appreciate eight people for 94 00:07:00.639 --> 00:07:03.000 who we are at any age, because I got to tell you, I've 95 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:06.600 had some really amazing young people teach me things about computers I didn't know, 96 00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:10.600 and I have great respect. And I've been able to teach a lot of 97 00:07:10.639 --> 00:07:15.240 younger people about how to be effective communicators, which they don't seem to know 98 00:07:15.319 --> 00:07:17.800 because they're too busy community depending on the computer or on the mobile phone. 99 00:07:19.000 --> 00:07:24.160 The point is everyone should be considered amazing at any agent stage of their life, 100 00:07:24.199 --> 00:07:28.959 and we should never be judgmental based on appearances, names, locations, 101 00:07:29.199 --> 00:07:31.839 or anything. Keep an open mind, an open ear, and an open 102 00:07:31.879 --> 00:07:38.800 attitude, and opportunities will open for you and for others. Okay, so 103 00:07:38.959 --> 00:07:43.079 I figure reality check, I have about ten to fifteen more years left of 104 00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:46.879 my life to live, hopefully all thement good health. So that's about eighty. 105 00:07:48.199 --> 00:07:50.439 I don't really care if I lived much longer than eighty, and don't 106 00:07:50.439 --> 00:07:54.839 think that's like a big no in negativity. I really don't care. My 107 00:07:54.920 --> 00:07:58.120 father died at seventy one, my mother died at eighty eight. Both outlived 108 00:07:58.120 --> 00:08:01.439 their financial means and died in poor health. I don't want to follow in 109 00:08:01.480 --> 00:08:07.639 their footsteps. I want to die in good health and in good financial situation 110 00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:13.000 and just live every day happy. But if I could write a letter to 111 00:08:13.079 --> 00:08:16.560 my younger self and sit my younger self down, I would give her some 112 00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:22.319 advice that I'm going to share now, so I wouldn't make the mistakes that 113 00:08:22.319 --> 00:08:26.519 I made earlier in youth, included too much spending and saving enough. Planning 114 00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:31.040 for the future seems a lifetime away when you're in your twenties and thirties, 115 00:08:31.040 --> 00:08:35.639 but boy, planning it when you're in your sixties, that is like a 116 00:08:35.720 --> 00:08:39.159 life sentence. It's challenging when you don't have the means to do it the 117 00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:43.480 way you want. So what do you do? Younger self? Not so 118 00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:46.879 younger self. You can do it at any age, but this is what 119 00:08:46.919 --> 00:08:50.279 you need to do first. If you are in a situation, if you 120 00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:54.519 are younger and you're starting to earn money, set aside money, put it 121 00:08:54.559 --> 00:08:58.639 away, get an IRO way, if your company has a matching funds, 122 00:08:58.720 --> 00:09:05.279 roth Ara, whatever, do it. Take advantage of every benefit you can 123 00:09:05.120 --> 00:09:09.519 because it will save you money and it can make you money. Just do 124 00:09:09.679 --> 00:09:13.200 it. And if you end up becoming self employed, get really good tax 125 00:09:13.240 --> 00:09:16.799 advice on how to save money, and you know, write off what you 126 00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:22.000 can, because it's not only about making money, it's about saving money. 127 00:09:22.559 --> 00:09:28.600 And some of the millionaires in life are people that lived humbly and frugally and 128 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:33.000 saved. They may not have made a lot of money, but they lived 129 00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:39.000 humbly and frugally and saved and invested wisely. That's why Warren Buffett, the 130 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:45.279 Oracle Omaha, still lives in his ranch house. That's all. My grandfather, 131 00:09:45.399 --> 00:09:48.120 a CPA by trade, lived in a ranch house, was frugal, 132 00:09:48.159 --> 00:09:50.840 shopped at kmart, looked like a farmer in jeans every weekend when he did 133 00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:54.399 his gardening, and he died with a lot of money in the bank. 134 00:09:54.720 --> 00:10:00.519 Who knew. So if you're in a situation where maybe you're like me, 135 00:10:01.519 --> 00:10:03.759 uh, where you spend a lot of money and you lived well and everything 136 00:10:03.840 --> 00:10:07.120 was great, but now you don't have as much money as you'd hope, 137 00:10:07.159 --> 00:10:09.679 what do you need to do well? First of all, I want to 138 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:13.200 be very clear, I am not a financial certified financial planner. I am 139 00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:16.360 not a financial advisor. I'm not any of that. I'm a human being 140 00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:22.399 that's trying to make good based on what she has left in the bank and 141 00:10:22.440 --> 00:10:26.559 how many years left she has of her life and reflecting back on what she 142 00:10:26.600 --> 00:10:30.360 could have done and realized that she can't go there now. So she's got 143 00:10:30.360 --> 00:10:33.840 to just figure it out as it is right now. Okay, I made 144 00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:35.840 a lot of money, I spent a lot of money. I wasted a 145 00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:39.320 lot of money. I lost a lot of money. That's in my past. 146 00:10:39.799 --> 00:10:43.240 No, I got to look at my present and think about the future. 147 00:10:43.399 --> 00:10:45.960 And that's what I'm saying to you. Don't look back and say, 148 00:10:46.080 --> 00:10:48.960 damn, what a dumb ass I was. Just move on. You can't 149 00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:52.799 shame yourself or what was. You got to just blame yourself and what could 150 00:10:52.799 --> 00:10:56.120 have been. You just got to look forward and say, Okay, one 151 00:10:56.120 --> 00:11:00.000 foot in front of the other. So one. So I made a tempt 152 00:11:00.279 --> 00:11:03.039 checklists from my last ten to fifteen years in my life. Okay, and 153 00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:07.720 again, it's not morbid. I'm accepting it. It's cool. First, 154 00:11:09.320 --> 00:11:13.000 take a hard look at what you're spending on a monthly basis and an annual 155 00:11:13.039 --> 00:11:16.879 basis, and figure out where you can cut back. The first thing I 156 00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:22.559 cut were things I really enjoy clothes, shopping and dining out. That was 157 00:11:22.600 --> 00:11:26.440 hard because I just love both of them. It's not that I denied myself 158 00:11:26.519 --> 00:11:30.240 any of it. I just cut back. It's not being the queen of 159 00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:35.159 denial. It's about being a better navigator and being more strategic about how you 160 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:37.879 spend your money. Right. So, if I'm going out to dinner, 161 00:11:37.919 --> 00:11:39.879 I want to go out with dinner with friends, so I can use that 162 00:11:39.919 --> 00:11:43.519 time to visit with friends, not just sit with my husband, which I 163 00:11:43.559 --> 00:11:46.240 do every night at home. If I need to buy clothes, I make 164 00:11:46.240 --> 00:11:48.080 sure it's because I need to replace something that I'm going to throw away or 165 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:52.480 donate and need to replace, not just go out and buy willy nilly just 166 00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:58.080 because I'm in the mood. I've also identified, and you should too, 167 00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:05.559 spending habits week moments. So many of us have week moments. Mine are 168 00:12:05.639 --> 00:12:11.360 usually after dinner and a few glasses of wine and I'll get on the computer 169 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:16.600 and bingo, I maybe spending. So I've learned turn off the computer after 170 00:12:16.679 --> 00:12:26.720 dinner. Don't go shopping after you've been sipping. It can get sloppy and 171 00:12:26.840 --> 00:12:31.200 messy. So that's number one. Okay. Two, I cut up my 172 00:12:31.240 --> 00:12:35.399 credit cards and only have two, one I use regularly in a backup, 173 00:12:35.919 --> 00:12:41.200 and I try to pay off my balances monthly to avoid fees. I also 174 00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:46.159 use more cash, although many businesses prefer debit cards. Yes, I've said 175 00:12:46.159 --> 00:12:48.799 a budget. The budgets are hard to follow sometimes, but I do the 176 00:12:48.799 --> 00:12:50.960 best. But at one point in my life, I think I had like 177 00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:58.200 ten credit cards. Nobody needs ten credit cards. That is just like having 178 00:12:58.600 --> 00:13:01.039 ten pieces of candy interview and want to eat all of them. It's not 179 00:13:01.159 --> 00:13:05.480 good. So I cut them up and I'm actually going to turn them into 180 00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:09.320 works of art. Because my parents had like fifty credit cards and I found 181 00:13:09.320 --> 00:13:11.399 them all and I kept them and I'm going to now use those to create 182 00:13:11.440 --> 00:13:16.559 works of art collages. This is why not, you know, repurpose. 183 00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:20.519 So I'm trying to cut back on credit card use or use it for only 184 00:13:20.639 --> 00:13:26.480 essentials. Third, I reviewed recurring charges on my bank and credit cards and 185 00:13:26.519 --> 00:13:30.240 canceled almost everything because there are so many recurring charges and you have to sit 186 00:13:30.240 --> 00:13:33.519 down and go, am I really using that recurring charge? Am I really 187 00:13:33.960 --> 00:13:41.240 using that service? Am I really reading that magazine? Probably not, So 188 00:13:41.480 --> 00:13:43.080 I cut back on a lot of it. I'm getting ready to do it 189 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:46.159 again, because sometimes you just sign up for stuff on a trial basis and 190 00:13:46.200 --> 00:13:50.399 the next thing you know you've got recurring charges, So read the fine print 191 00:13:50.440 --> 00:13:52.919 when you sign up for free trials and freebies, because half the time you're 192 00:13:54.039 --> 00:13:58.879 signing up for a long term commitment and sometimes it's hard to get out of 193 00:13:58.919 --> 00:14:05.519 those. That said, I use auto pay for things like utilities and insurance 194 00:14:05.519 --> 00:14:09.320 so I never fall behind because that could be deadly. And I also ask 195 00:14:09.399 --> 00:14:16.000 when I'm negotiating insurance plans or other services if there's a discount for prepayment in 196 00:14:16.120 --> 00:14:20.200 full. That happened with my car insurance. I got a discount for paying 197 00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:24.799 a full and I'm glad I did, although it's still expensive. I also 198 00:14:24.879 --> 00:14:30.200 ask for bundling. If I do my homeowners or rental with my car, 199 00:14:30.360 --> 00:14:37.080 can I get a discount? So I think about negotiating discounts. Speaking of 200 00:14:37.159 --> 00:14:39.840 when you're over, I learned when you're over sixty sixty two sixty five there 201 00:14:39.879 --> 00:14:45.720 are a lot of discounts ask. Don't be afraid to ask. For example, 202 00:14:46.519 --> 00:14:50.440 if you were going to the National Park Service, great example, they 203 00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:54.360 have a senior lifetime pass. I think it's eighty dollars. For eighty dollars, 204 00:14:54.360 --> 00:15:00.519 you can go visit any national park in the country. That's a great 205 00:15:00.559 --> 00:15:05.000 deal. There are museum passes like that where if you buy one pass you 206 00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:09.200 can go visit museums all over the country. They have partnership programs, so 207 00:15:09.360 --> 00:15:13.720 ask there's discounts for seniors or special partnership programs because you can get multiple deals 208 00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:20.679 that way. Same with gas, same with apparently shopping. Certain days at 209 00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:24.399 supermarkets they have senior days at certain supermarkets, so ask. And it's also 210 00:15:24.519 --> 00:15:28.639 bookstores like probably not Costco, but maybe Target, Walmart. Wherever you go, 211 00:15:28.759 --> 00:15:33.200 say what offers do you have for people over sixty, sixty two, 212 00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:39.320 sixty five, whatever the age, Always ask because there are deals to be 213 00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:43.120 had. Today, there's autumn Zoo in New Orleans where I'm living, there's 214 00:15:43.159 --> 00:15:46.000 free day you can go to the zoo for free. So also ask what 215 00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:48.960 days are free? What days are local days? If you live in a 216 00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:54.159 city where they have specials for locals, really some of the best ones for 217 00:15:54.200 --> 00:15:58.440 that, or museums, chain restaurants, airlines. Do you know that if 218 00:15:58.440 --> 00:16:03.559 you go on line, say Delta or Kayak, you can put in that 219 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:07.639 you're a senior and potentially get a senior rate to toe with your hotels like 220 00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:11.720 Mariott Bomboy has a senior rate. Don't be embarrassed or afraid to ask. 221 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:15.720 Just do it. You can get amazing discounts. That's one of the best 222 00:16:15.720 --> 00:16:18.799 things about turning sixty, sixty, two, sixty five, whatever the age 223 00:16:18.840 --> 00:16:22.440 is, and sometimes it's as low as sixty. You have to ask. 224 00:16:23.080 --> 00:16:29.240 Okay, so that's four. Ask about discounts. Don't be afraid to ask. 225 00:16:29.559 --> 00:16:33.279 Ask about bundles, Ask about is there a discount for cash payment, 226 00:16:33.480 --> 00:16:37.480 Ask about if there is a discount for full payment on certain high ticket things. 227 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:48.080 Just ask. So insurance, don't scrimp on insurance, but negotiate hard. 228 00:16:48.279 --> 00:16:51.600 This is im four. I think it's four. I do a lot 229 00:16:51.639 --> 00:16:56.120 of price shopping on insurance, whether it's health insurance or I'm renting versus buying. 230 00:16:56.159 --> 00:17:03.679 That's a whole other topic for another show. Property insurance, health insurance, 231 00:17:03.879 --> 00:17:07.200 life insurance. Just do your homework, and remember you can get discounts 232 00:17:07.240 --> 00:17:11.559 if you stay with one company, but you know, shop around, call 233 00:17:11.640 --> 00:17:15.680 five companies. Take the time and do it because you can get amazing deals. 234 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:18.839 I'll give you an example here in Louisiana. I decided, even the 235 00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:22.799 renting that I want to flood insurance. Why because there's a lot of floods 236 00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:27.000 in Louisiana, and if this house floods, I want my property to get 237 00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:32.039 some insurance coverage, not my owner. So I do you know. I 238 00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:37.960 called three companies and got three prices that ranged in about a three hundred dollars 239 00:17:38.039 --> 00:17:44.160 difference. Three companies, three prices, same insurance, three hundred dollars difference. 240 00:17:44.680 --> 00:17:48.680 Obviously I went for the lowest one. So price shopping can take time, 241 00:17:48.759 --> 00:17:52.359 but it can really pay off because remember it's not about how much you 242 00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:56.480 make, it how much you can save and how much you can keep. 243 00:17:57.319 --> 00:18:03.680 So don't scrip on insurance. Negotiate hard and don't give up. Maybe take 244 00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:06.720 a few days to do it, or just sign up for six months so 245 00:18:06.759 --> 00:18:10.039 it advise you time to keep looking for the next six months, et cetera. 246 00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:15.720 And remember auto pay sometimes can create discounts for you. Not necessarily pay 247 00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:19.920 my phones. Always ask if there's convenience fees if you're paying by phone, 248 00:18:19.920 --> 00:18:23.480 for example, because those sneaky convenience fees are really annoying. And how do 249 00:18:23.559 --> 00:18:26.759 I know? Because my mother loved it just pay things by phone. She 250 00:18:26.839 --> 00:18:30.839 thought that was more efficient, quote unquote efficient. And when I came back 251 00:18:30.839 --> 00:18:34.319 to Tennessee to take care of my mother's finances. There were so many problems. 252 00:18:34.960 --> 00:18:38.240 Besides, who's still paying for AOL? And nobody pays for AOL? 253 00:18:38.240 --> 00:18:41.000 And the recurring charge have been going I think for over twenty years, she's 254 00:18:41.039 --> 00:18:45.279 been paying for AOL, go figure and numerous other recurring charges. She was 255 00:18:45.319 --> 00:18:52.160 paying convenience fees left and right because she was paying by phone, and I 256 00:18:52.200 --> 00:18:56.400 said, we got to stop that, because convenience fees are not anything you 257 00:18:56.440 --> 00:19:00.640 need to be paying for. You know, you shouldn't be penalized for paying 258 00:19:00.039 --> 00:19:04.400 by phone. That's the silliest thing ever. So always look out for pesky 259 00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:11.200 convenience fees you should see. You should have a good tax advisor and a 260 00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:15.880 good financial advisor, and start with a moderate savings or investment plan, knowing 261 00:19:15.960 --> 00:19:21.200 what your threshold for risk is. Frankly, I'm still sorting this through, 262 00:19:21.240 --> 00:19:23.680 and I have not had in my youth, I had a bad situation or 263 00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:30.000 two with people who didn't give me great advice. So I'm a little gun 264 00:19:30.119 --> 00:19:33.200 shy here. But I'm doing my due diligence. I'm setting up meetings with 265 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:37.839 people, I'm listening, and I'm not saying too much don't share too much. 266 00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:42.920 Just listen. Be honest, but just listen and ask to speak with, 267 00:19:44.680 --> 00:19:47.920 get testimonials you know, don't and you know what, don't put all 268 00:19:47.920 --> 00:19:52.240 your eggs in one basket. Maybe you work with different advisors and you test 269 00:19:52.279 --> 00:19:56.079 them out. You know, you don't have to be loyal to the same 270 00:19:56.119 --> 00:19:59.039 people all the time. You need to move around if you have to. 271 00:19:59.119 --> 00:20:02.079 You know, plant your seed in different areas and see where the plants thrive 272 00:20:02.119 --> 00:20:07.720 and grow better. If I could speak with every young girl starting out life, 273 00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:12.240 and even as young as when they start earning an allowance, I wouldn't 274 00:20:12.279 --> 00:20:17.240 underscore the importance of learning to manage your own finances, save early, and 275 00:20:17.359 --> 00:20:21.400 never ever ever give up financial independence. I don't care if you marry the 276 00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:25.680 love of your life and he's a financial wizard. I don't care if it's 277 00:20:25.720 --> 00:20:32.039 your dad and you trust him with all your heart. You become financially savvy 278 00:20:32.200 --> 00:20:37.160 and manage and keep a separate account for yourself, and don't rely on anyone 279 00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:40.200 else to take over your finances. One hundred and fifty percent. You have 280 00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:42.200 to be in it to win it, and you have to know and ask 281 00:20:42.279 --> 00:20:47.000 questions and read statements and ask questions and read more statements and don't stick stuff 282 00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:53.640 in baggies like my mother did. And read statements and ask questions and don't 283 00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:57.599 say, oh, I hand this over to my husband or my partner because 284 00:20:57.599 --> 00:21:03.079 they know more than me. You have a capability of knowing as much as 285 00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:07.119 anybody if you put your mind to it. And there's plenty of free advice 286 00:21:07.160 --> 00:21:10.480 online. You don't have to listen to it, you don't have to take 287 00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:14.000 it. You could just listen, inform your own opinion, and then get 288 00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:19.599 a very solid, trustworthy and trusting financial advisor to help you. It's so 289 00:21:19.720 --> 00:21:26.440 important, so important, and I can tell you firsthand. I've seen disasters 290 00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:33.200 occur when women have lost everything because they didn't ask questions and they didn't have 291 00:21:33.240 --> 00:21:34.759 frank discussions with their spouse. And frankly, I still go there with that. 292 00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:38.160 My husband is still a testing area here in our my own home. 293 00:21:38.279 --> 00:21:45.359 So you know, push you need financial independence. So once you have I 294 00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:48.759 think this is number six. Once you have financial security and assets, get 295 00:21:48.799 --> 00:21:53.480 a will drawn up. You're never too young to have a will because you 296 00:21:53.519 --> 00:22:00.279 could die at any age. Contact a lawyer or I contacted Legal Aid in 297 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:03.599 Tennessee and met with a nice guy, But get a will. Drop that 298 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:06.680 so that you know what's going to happen to anything you own, your a 299 00:22:06.799 --> 00:22:08.279 estate, anything. Even if you don't know how, you still have a 300 00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:14.400 state. You need to plan for your inevitable death. Planning for your inevitable 301 00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:17.680 death is important. It's investing your life. Because if you don't have a 302 00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:22.079 will, and you're of legal age, so you're an adult, it's different 303 00:22:22.119 --> 00:22:26.559 if you're a kid, if you're like sixty five, not having a will 304 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:30.880 means that a state is intestate. That means the state where you live, 305 00:22:33.079 --> 00:22:36.599 where you lived, will take over and decide how this spense of any assets 306 00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:38.680 you have, which could mean nexicin, but could it mean other things. 307 00:22:40.359 --> 00:22:45.960 There's no control and your last wishes that you never bothered to express because you 308 00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:49.160 were too busy doing other things besides getting a will, we're never granted. 309 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:53.079 Did you know that Aretha Franklin the Great died without a will. I mean, 310 00:22:53.119 --> 00:22:56.079 there's some really amazing people making a lot of money that you look up 311 00:22:56.119 --> 00:22:59.960 to and they didn't bother to get a will. That's the stupidest thing ever. 312 00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:03.480 And also, don't just put the will away, which you should in 313 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:06.960 a lock box. That's fireproof. You should have different multiple copies and want 314 00:23:06.960 --> 00:23:10.720 online, but also review it from time to time. So when I moved 315 00:23:10.759 --> 00:23:14.000 to Tennessee and started taking care of my mother and then she died and I 316 00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:17.799 realized that she was in my will, the first thing I did was contact 317 00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:21.000 Legal aid and say, I need to change my will because I needed to 318 00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:25.119 update it and take her out of it. And also I needed to think 319 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:29.240 about things like I don't have children, what's going to happen with anything I 320 00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:32.599 do have left? Where do I want it to go? What would happen 321 00:23:32.599 --> 00:23:36.279 if my husband and I died together? That was a big one. A 322 00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:40.000 lawyer said, you've not made any provisions to address what would happen if you 323 00:23:40.039 --> 00:23:41.759 and your husband, David died together. Well, I was a big one 324 00:23:41.799 --> 00:23:47.119 because I left everything to David. So you need to think about every scenario. 325 00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:51.000 And you are never too young. When you're an adult and you're starting 326 00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:53.559 to earn income and put money away and have investments and maybe buy house, 327 00:23:53.920 --> 00:24:00.240 you should have a will. Okay, enough said, I think this is 328 00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:06.400 eight or seven lost track. So another thing you need to have is a 329 00:24:06.400 --> 00:24:08.759 healthcare proxy and a legal power of attorney. Particularly the older you get. 330 00:24:10.039 --> 00:24:14.519 But you know, if you have a health if you have a health condition, 331 00:24:14.680 --> 00:24:18.240 it's super important. Okay. My first health care proxy came when I 332 00:24:18.319 --> 00:24:22.079 was diagnosed with breast cancer and in the hospital said do you have a health 333 00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:25.400 care proxy? Well, I was like, no, but I'll get one. 334 00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:27.640 I guess it's my husband, David. If I had been single, 335 00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:32.839 it would have been my parents. So again you have to keep that updated 336 00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.720 because if you're single in your healthcare proxy as your mom or dad and they 337 00:24:34.720 --> 00:24:37.599 pass away, then you don't have a healthcare proxy. So you also have 338 00:24:37.640 --> 00:24:42.839 to think about when changes happen in your life and when life changes for you, 339 00:24:44.279 --> 00:24:47.880 what documentation do you need to change with it. So a good example 340 00:24:48.000 --> 00:24:52.359 is having current health care proxy and legal power of attorney in the event that 341 00:24:52.400 --> 00:24:56.519 you become ill or incapacitated. And again, that could happen at any age 342 00:24:56.599 --> 00:24:59.519 or stage in your life. Hopefully not when you're young, but god forbid, 343 00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:02.640 you're in a our accident and you're in a coma. Who was going 344 00:25:02.680 --> 00:25:06.400 to be your health care proxy and your legal power of attorney if you cannot 345 00:25:06.519 --> 00:25:12.599 make decisions? This person or person should be a trusted family member, a 346 00:25:12.759 --> 00:25:18.039 friend or counsel. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I needed 347 00:25:18.039 --> 00:25:22.000 to resort to showing my power of attorney documents when dealing with my own mother's 348 00:25:22.039 --> 00:25:26.400 health and finances as she entered the final two years of her life. It 349 00:25:26.559 --> 00:25:30.960 was on file. I had to send it to credit card companies, I 350 00:25:30.960 --> 00:25:33.680 had to show it at hospitals. I had to go to the banks, 351 00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:40.200 I had to go to insurance companies. I had to show it every step 352 00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:42.599 of the way with her my power of attorney and in our case, we 353 00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:45.599 had a co power of attorney. We had two powers of attorneys because my 354 00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:49.759 mother didn't trust me completely, but it was used a lot. So think 355 00:25:49.880 --> 00:25:53.440 about who was going to be your power of attorney if something happens to you 356 00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:59.319 and you cannot make decisions, and it really needs to be somebody you trust, 357 00:25:59.640 --> 00:26:02.240 and if you don't, they need a copower of attorney so they have 358 00:26:02.279 --> 00:26:06.839 to make decisions together. Same as I said with health care proxy, that 359 00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:12.160 is super important. Next, and I believe this is eight unless I have 360 00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:19.920 a bonus, create a blueprint of your life and key accounts, passwords and 361 00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:25.319 locations of major documents, both print and online, and make sure this information 362 00:26:25.480 --> 00:26:32.160 is routinely updated. Wow, I can't say enough about this, because when 363 00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:36.000 my dad died, we can access his phone. When my mom died. 364 00:26:36.680 --> 00:26:38.960 Fortunately, because my dad died, my mother didn't have you know, she 365 00:26:38.960 --> 00:26:42.720 didn't think about getting his computer passwords. She didn't think about getting access to 366 00:26:42.759 --> 00:26:47.359 his phone, so she couldn't contact anybody in his phoneless to say he died. 367 00:26:47.400 --> 00:26:49.480 People didn't know my dad died because my mother didn't know where his friends 368 00:26:49.480 --> 00:26:52.759 were because she didn't know how to find them online or in the phone. 369 00:26:53.440 --> 00:26:56.240 But it could be worse than that. What if you can't access to your 370 00:26:56.279 --> 00:27:02.400 loved one's bank account, or there's stock account, are there insurance account or 371 00:27:02.759 --> 00:27:06.119 their utilities built? I could go on and on and on. I am 372 00:27:06.160 --> 00:27:11.440 telling you passwords need to be in a secure place, and they need to 373 00:27:11.480 --> 00:27:15.359 be updated regularly, and may a couple. I'm the worst at updating passwords. 374 00:27:15.400 --> 00:27:18.319 I'll get frustrated updated password and then forget to put it into the document 375 00:27:18.359 --> 00:27:25.240 I've created. So try to as much as if as much as you make 376 00:27:25.319 --> 00:27:30.279 regular hair appointments, and you keep detailed documentation of other things in your life, 377 00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:34.599 get documentation in writing on the cloud, in paper, and a secure 378 00:27:34.640 --> 00:27:38.720 file of all your accounts. And there are a lot of them. I 379 00:27:38.759 --> 00:27:41.759 mean, you know, I made a listen to my accounts. There's go 380 00:27:41.880 --> 00:27:47.720 Daddy from my computer. There's Ascuma or my software. There's technology accounts, 381 00:27:47.720 --> 00:27:53.160 there's phone accounts, there's insurance accounts, there's utility bill accounts, there's you 382 00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:57.720 name it, and of course there's access to phones. There's access to social 383 00:27:57.799 --> 00:28:02.160 media. How you access social media. What if you want to take somebody's 384 00:28:02.160 --> 00:28:04.160 social media down because they're dead, You don't want to make it immemorial. 385 00:28:04.599 --> 00:28:08.839 What if they've been hacked. There are so many accounts you need to create 386 00:28:08.839 --> 00:28:15.960 a detailed list by category, technology, insurance, utilities, banking, investments, 387 00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:21.839 magazine subscriptions, all the things you're paying for, somebody's got to deal 388 00:28:21.839 --> 00:28:27.160 with if you're not able to take care of it. Super super important. 389 00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:34.880 Next, be very clear and put in writing what your final wishes are. 390 00:28:34.920 --> 00:28:37.440 And I'm not talking about a will, well, I've already covered that. 391 00:28:37.720 --> 00:28:41.319 I'm talking about how you want to spend the final years, months and days 392 00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:48.359 of your life. Okay, this is important because I'm seeing and I have 393 00:28:48.400 --> 00:28:52.480 a lot of friends who are now caring for elderly parents and the onlyly parents. 394 00:28:52.519 --> 00:28:55.279 You know, usually there's a sibling fight. But what are we going 395 00:28:55.319 --> 00:28:57.759 to do with mom? She's really old and she's you know, really like 396 00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:02.200 losing it. What are we gonna do with And Mom may not really know 397 00:29:02.240 --> 00:29:04.279 what she wants to do, But usually mom wants to stay at home because 398 00:29:04.319 --> 00:29:07.279 moms never really want to go with the assists of living. Moms or dads 399 00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:11.400 just want to stay at home and have a nice life. My mom never 400 00:29:11.440 --> 00:29:12.559 wanted to leave her house. She made it very clear to me. She 401 00:29:12.640 --> 00:29:18.359 wanted to live and die in her house, very clear. So you need 402 00:29:18.359 --> 00:29:21.839 to have a plan, and if you have siblings or family members that need 403 00:29:21.880 --> 00:29:26.200 to want to be involved, make them part of the discussion. Don't make 404 00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:30.000 unilateral decisions about what you're going to do with mom or dad without consulting with 405 00:29:30.039 --> 00:29:33.119 the rest of your family, because I trust many of you may have differing 406 00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:38.400 opinions that also have that conversation with your parent. So one of the best 407 00:29:38.400 --> 00:29:44.640 conversations I have with my parent is that my mother and my father both sat 408 00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:47.319 down with me and they were very clear about how they wanted to live the 409 00:29:47.400 --> 00:29:51.200 last days of their life. One they did they wanted a DNR do not 410 00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:57.880 resuscitate if they became totally incapacitated. My mother did not want a feeding tube. 411 00:29:57.920 --> 00:30:00.799 This was a tough one. It had put her into rehab after she 412 00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:03.359 fell. She did not want a feeding tube, but she did want to 413 00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:10.200 be kept alive if she was still mentally capable. So feeding tubes are very 414 00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:15.200 different from being mentally capable, very different. And at one point I kind 415 00:30:15.200 --> 00:30:18.799 of got nervous when I was signing all these documents as her power of attorney, 416 00:30:18.799 --> 00:30:19.960 and I had to go into the room and say, Mom, I'm 417 00:30:19.960 --> 00:30:23.240 a little unclear about this. Do you want a feeding tube if you're unable 418 00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:30.960 to eat? What do you want to have happened? And it was not 419 00:30:30.079 --> 00:30:34.000 awkward, it was important, and she answered and I felt more comfortable putting 420 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:37.559 my initials down as a result. But I wasn't sure. But have that 421 00:30:38.279 --> 00:30:42.519 very clearly in writing. So what do you ask them? What happens if 422 00:30:42.559 --> 00:30:47.079 you become incapacitated and incapacity It could mean several things. It could mean I 423 00:30:47.119 --> 00:30:51.359 can't feed myself, I can't dress myself, I can't shower, I can't 424 00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:56.480 walk. So there's those physical things we call normal activities. I think there's 425 00:30:56.599 --> 00:31:02.759 five that are concer you're disabled. There's like five. I think it's feeding, 426 00:31:02.920 --> 00:31:07.400 walking, dressing, showering, bathing, using the bathroom if you can't 427 00:31:07.480 --> 00:31:10.960 go to the bathroom yourself, or you can't get to the toilet, or 428 00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:15.240 you need a you know, special potty under your butt. Those are things 429 00:31:15.279 --> 00:31:18.359 where you will need help. You can't do them yourself, and you if 430 00:31:18.400 --> 00:31:23.240 you qualify, those could be covered by insurance or Medicare or medicaid or whatever 431 00:31:23.240 --> 00:31:30.279 you're on. It's a whole other topic. But it's different when you're becomes 432 00:31:30.640 --> 00:31:33.799 your mind. You may be physically okay, but maybe your mind is going, 433 00:31:33.799 --> 00:31:34.880 what do you want to do? If your mind is kind of in 434 00:31:34.960 --> 00:31:38.160 and out but you're still functioning, you're just not functioning at high level. 435 00:31:38.680 --> 00:31:42.960 You need to kind of create degrees of what do you want to happen? 436 00:31:44.079 --> 00:31:48.440 If what would you feel more comfortably than have that conversation? And then look 437 00:31:48.480 --> 00:31:52.880 at the financial ramifications. Can you afford putting your loved one in a assisted 438 00:31:52.920 --> 00:31:57.079 living? Do you have the means? Because you better have money put away 439 00:31:57.119 --> 00:32:00.119 or start socking money away for that, or have a long term care plan, 440 00:32:00.200 --> 00:32:02.440 which I could go on and on about the pros and cons of that. 441 00:32:02.839 --> 00:32:07.480 But do you have the resources for that, because if not, you 442 00:32:07.519 --> 00:32:13.039 may have to sell the home that your loved one's in so that person can 443 00:32:13.079 --> 00:32:15.319 move into assisted living. There's a lot there. I mean, what if 444 00:32:15.319 --> 00:32:17.559 they don't have a homework, if they're renting. I'm renting now, so 445 00:32:17.559 --> 00:32:20.000 I don't know what's going to happen to me. If I have to go 446 00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:22.599 into assisted living. Probably i'll die. I'll probably just go to Switzerland and 447 00:32:22.759 --> 00:32:28.279 do assisted suicide. I know that's more ad, but then bother me again. 448 00:32:28.359 --> 00:32:30.079 I don't want to live my rest of my life out sick and poor. 449 00:32:30.440 --> 00:32:37.759 Bingo had that conversation while your loved one is still mentally capable. It's 450 00:32:37.839 --> 00:32:43.759 awkward but necessary. My mother actually sat me down and not only made it 451 00:32:43.799 --> 00:32:46.160 clear that she wanted to live out the rest of her life and her house 452 00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:50.000 no matter what, and we did it, no matter what, and it 453 00:32:50.079 --> 00:32:54.200 cost us a small fortune, but we did it. But she also laid 454 00:32:54.240 --> 00:33:00.599 out her wishes for her funeral, down to where she wanted to be buried 455 00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:02.119 and what the music was and who would cater it. Because my mother left 456 00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:07.839 to plan parties at nauseum and I'm proud to say we honored all of it. 457 00:33:08.200 --> 00:33:13.480 We really did, and I'm glad we had that conversation. I took 458 00:33:13.559 --> 00:33:16.880 notes down to what she wanted read at the funeral and we did it, 459 00:33:16.920 --> 00:33:20.960 and I filed it, and when she died, I pulled it out and 460 00:33:21.119 --> 00:33:27.119 bingo, I followed her little checklist down to the tea. So what happens 461 00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:30.000 if, like me, you don't have children or heirs, Who do you 462 00:33:30.039 --> 00:33:31.359 want to be your legal guardian? If there's no one to care for you? 463 00:33:31.400 --> 00:33:34.400 Well, I don't know. David and I talk about that all the 464 00:33:34.440 --> 00:33:37.480 time. I mean, if something happens to me, David'll be there, 465 00:33:37.480 --> 00:33:38.640 and somebody has David, I'll be there. But if we go together, 466 00:33:39.240 --> 00:33:43.559 we've already I've addressed it in my will. I don't know if he's addressed 467 00:33:43.599 --> 00:33:45.839 in his, because we have separate wills. But I know what I plan 468 00:33:45.960 --> 00:33:47.279 to do. I plan to leave a lot to charity because I really don't 469 00:33:47.319 --> 00:33:51.000 have family members. I have friends, I live this and that too. 470 00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:57.039 But if I get incapacitated, plan B, as I said, is to 471 00:33:57.039 --> 00:34:01.079 figure out where I can go to just say I'm done and move on to 472 00:34:01.119 --> 00:34:05.720 the next world. I don't have a fear about that. I have a 473 00:34:05.759 --> 00:34:08.960 greater fear of being unable to care for myself and have nobody care for me. 474 00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:12.119 So you have to think about that. Who will care for me if 475 00:34:12.119 --> 00:34:15.719 there's no one there? And do I care if it's time to go? 476 00:34:16.119 --> 00:34:21.159 You know, sometimes it's just time to go. But you got to have 477 00:34:21.239 --> 00:34:27.760 that writing, put your final wishes in writing, and update it if you 478 00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:30.960 change your mind. Yeah, because you can't change your mind, but do 479 00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:37.639 update it. Make sure people know where it is, because if you don't 480 00:34:37.639 --> 00:34:40.039 know where it is, then people won't know how to take care of it. 481 00:34:40.679 --> 00:34:45.639 So yes, I figure I have ten to fifteen years left in my 482 00:34:45.719 --> 00:34:50.079 life. As it is, I am trying to live more consciously about not 483 00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:52.000 spending a lot of money figuring out how to make money. I'm still pissed 484 00:34:52.039 --> 00:34:55.400 it I got turned down for the job because I'm apparently too overqualified, too 485 00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:59.199 old. But that's not going to stop me from doing other things. And 486 00:34:59.280 --> 00:35:01.519 I'm brushing out my resume, but I'm also brushing up a sales kit to 487 00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:06.960 go out and sell myself as an amazing consultant to help people better figure out 488 00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:08.599 what they want to do with their life. Because I'm good at that and 489 00:35:08.840 --> 00:35:15.079 communicate those their capabilities to people and help them grow and build. So I'm 490 00:35:15.159 --> 00:35:17.800 dusting that off. I'm going to dive right in. Hopefully somebody out there 491 00:35:17.840 --> 00:35:21.800 is going to sponsor this podcast, because that's really what needs to happen, 492 00:35:22.360 --> 00:35:27.039 Bingo, and I'm going to stop offering free promotion to people on this show 493 00:35:27.320 --> 00:35:31.320 who are getting paid and making money. I do charge for some That's why 494 00:35:31.400 --> 00:35:36.039 I do more single shows now, because I'm tired of promoting other people who 495 00:35:36.079 --> 00:35:38.480 are making money off my back. So I'd rather just share my own interest. 496 00:35:38.679 --> 00:35:42.400 And I only say that to you now because you need to be very 497 00:35:42.440 --> 00:35:45.880 careful of your value and your time when you're talking to people as well. 498 00:35:47.079 --> 00:35:52.440 Okay, so yeah, I have ten to fifteen years of my life over 499 00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:58.000 That means officially lived more than well over half of my life. Wow, 500 00:35:58.119 --> 00:36:00.719 I've lived more than half my life and now I have about ten to fifteen 501 00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:06.039 years left. That's about six thousand days by the way I calculated, maybe 502 00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:09.280 six or seven I don't know. So does this mean the best parts are 503 00:36:09.320 --> 00:36:13.239 over? Well? In some ways, I do believe that's true. I 504 00:36:13.280 --> 00:36:15.760 had a great successful business, make of money, live the New York, 505 00:36:15.800 --> 00:36:17.920 creating impact of programs, Live the High Life, Lived the Best Life, 506 00:36:19.199 --> 00:36:22.440 didn't save a dime, and now I'm paying the price for it. But 507 00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:27.000 I also did new things. I created these shows, this one and my 508 00:36:27.039 --> 00:36:30.320 other one Connected Table, I've shorted writing, I've connecting with people in other 509 00:36:30.360 --> 00:36:35.760 ways. I don't work as hard, and I'm using the time to explore 510 00:36:35.800 --> 00:36:40.039 other areas of passion, including travel and connecting with people in a new way. 511 00:36:40.079 --> 00:36:43.239 So I never want to rest on my laws, and you should not 512 00:36:43.440 --> 00:36:45.519 either. Yes, I had a former life and you probably did two, 513 00:36:45.599 --> 00:36:52.800 and it was fabulous. But we cannot live in the past. We can 514 00:36:52.880 --> 00:36:57.599 only live in the moment and make the best of the time we have and 515 00:36:57.599 --> 00:37:00.800 what remains of it. And you have the potential to do new things and 516 00:37:00.840 --> 00:37:06.760 try new opportunities and spend and grow in new ways if you choose to. 517 00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:10.440 You just have to be open to this and never say I'm too old, 518 00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:15.719 I'm too tired, i don't have enough money, I can't do this, 519 00:37:15.239 --> 00:37:21.239 blah blah blah. Sure you can't, or you can at least try. 520 00:37:21.400 --> 00:37:23.960 If you try and it doesn't work out, then move on to something else. 521 00:37:24.360 --> 00:37:30.840 Wash your hands and move on, which leads me to my final point. 522 00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:34.039 Maybe it's ted, maybe it's love, and maybe it's twelve I've lost 523 00:37:34.079 --> 00:37:42.119 count. It's this. Saving for the future is important so you have long 524 00:37:42.199 --> 00:37:46.280 term security, as in long term financial security and human security. People you 525 00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:51.280 know you can trust on to be there for you when you really need them. 526 00:37:52.760 --> 00:37:59.000 That's saving. But spending on what really matters is also important. Spending 527 00:37:59.039 --> 00:38:02.840 time doing things you love, going out and doing things, and not denying 528 00:38:02.880 --> 00:38:06.679 yourself. If you only have ten to fifteen more years of your life, 529 00:38:06.760 --> 00:38:09.320 why are you denying yourself things that bring you joy? What are you saving 530 00:38:09.400 --> 00:38:15.039 for You've already you know, So spend on the things that really matter and 531 00:38:15.079 --> 00:38:19.760 bring you joy. And if you want to take that special trip because you 532 00:38:19.840 --> 00:38:22.400 only live once, just do it. Just do it. Don't just say 533 00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:24.760 oh, I'll wait a couple more years, because that's a couple more years 534 00:38:24.800 --> 00:38:30.280 may not happen, that opportunity may not pass its way again. You need 535 00:38:30.280 --> 00:38:32.960 to seize opportunities. I'm a big opportunist. You know. Some people see 536 00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:37.639 the glasses half full, others see it half empty. I drink the glass. 537 00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:46.599 That's called opportunist. You drink the glass and just do it because you 538 00:38:46.679 --> 00:38:53.119 never want to say, with regret, if only I had done this, 539 00:38:53.719 --> 00:38:59.559 said this, tried this, experienced this. You never want the words if 540 00:38:59.639 --> 00:39:04.199 only I wish I had, I should have would have cout a I wish 541 00:39:04.280 --> 00:39:07.320 I had if only you never want to say those. Regret is the worst. 542 00:39:07.599 --> 00:39:12.039 You know, guilt is bad, Regret is equally bad. You never 543 00:39:12.079 --> 00:39:15.679 want to feel guilty, but you never want to feel regretful that something happened 544 00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:20.000 and you didn't seize the opportunity to take advantage, and it could have been. 545 00:39:20.039 --> 00:39:22.280 I never I regret not having a great conversation with my mom. I 546 00:39:22.360 --> 00:39:25.480 regret not seeing my friend before they were walking. You know killed. You 547 00:39:25.480 --> 00:39:30.679 know people, people live and die at all ages, and you know you 548 00:39:30.960 --> 00:39:39.320 just want to live with no regrets. So I leave you in this episode 549 00:39:39.920 --> 00:39:44.920 with two poems versus. They're not poems and versus. The first is from 550 00:39:45.360 --> 00:39:52.760 the great poet John Greenleaf Wittier. The saddest words of all said, words 551 00:39:52.800 --> 00:39:57.719 of tongue and pen. The saddest are these. It might have been. 552 00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:02.000 Let's add this thought and to this verse it might have been a great deal 553 00:40:02.039 --> 00:40:08.480 worse. I love that, But now I add my own verse by Fearless 554 00:40:08.519 --> 00:40:15.960 Fabulous Melanie Young and maybe I'll become a poet after this. Live for today 555 00:40:15.159 --> 00:40:22.239 with no regret, be prepared for challenges you have not met. Life is 556 00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:29.639 never one way set. Your future can always be even better yet, so 557 00:40:29.800 --> 00:40:36.239 live a life full and with no regret. And with that I leave you 558 00:40:36.719 --> 00:40:40.480 to ponder what you're going to do today that's going to make your day awesome, 559 00:40:40.960 --> 00:40:44.960 and what you're gonna do and say to someone to make their day awesome. 560 00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:46.840 Beau's not only about making you feel good, but making people around you 561 00:40:46.840 --> 00:40:52.840 feel good. Live a full life with no regret, and remember this, 562 00:40:52.639 --> 00:40:58.320 You can choose life to live on your terms. If you choose, don't 563 00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:05.559 let people choose your life for you. Stand firm, stand for what you 564 00:41:05.599 --> 00:41:12.000 believe in, and remain the fearless fabulous you you deserve to be at any 565 00:41:12.039 --> 00:41:17.079 age and any stage of your life. I'm Melanie Young. Please follow me 566 00:41:17.440 --> 00:41:24.079 at Melanie Fabulous on Instagram and Fearless Fabulous Melanie on Facebook, Twitter, I'm 567 00:41:24.119 --> 00:41:30.280 Mighty Melanie and visit me at Melanie youong dot com and take time to listen 568 00:41:30.360 --> 00:41:34.639 to my other show, The Connected Table, which I host with my husband 569 00:41:34.719 --> 00:41:38.920 David ransom. It's all about eating and drinking my passion. Thank you for 570 00:41:39.000 --> 00:42:00.400 joining me and have a fabulous day.