Hello, this is Pumpkin Perry, director to producer GM and perhaps a replica.
If you enjoyed a podcast, please make sure to rate and review it
and head over to table story dot tv for our extensive library. Thank you
for your support and enjoy. So here's a scoop. What we're gonna do
is the big boss, Clark Cavil. You all know him, I cr
I know him. Yeah, he has his dirty little fingers in everything,
and we're gonna take him down. That's right together, Well, it's it's
unclear. I don't know Clark Cavill's pronounce, but I'm I'm gonna go with
him. With Clark, that's probably best, okay. Otherwise, okay,
anyways, the plan is Clark is holding a masquerade ball in which they have
invited. That's better. They have invited all of the biggest names in town
to join. But we gotta tip a big tip and that tip what?
Okay? Go ahead? God? Is that you? Oh? You heard
that too? It wasn't just in my head. I thought my schizophrenia was
acting up again. Oh no, you remember you remember last year when I
had the schizophrenia and it just went away. That's right, because that's how
it works because I'm a doctor, that's right. Okay. So the plan
is he's inviting all these big wigs, but we know that there's something going
down. They're going to I think they're going to kidnap one of the CEOs
of a big corporation. I have a good authority what Neogen solutions, and
they're going to do someth They're gonna they're gonna coerce or or something that person
to do what the big boss wants to do. We don't know what that
is yet. It could be anything, any anything, anything, anything,
anything. So Detective Delcado, I want you shadowing me in there, and
doctor Boy, I don't know what you're gonna do in there, but we're
gonna need you along with us in case there's a something that's medical. Medical.
It always happened, right, somebody goes down. We need somebody to
clean up the blood. We'll have you right there exactly. Yeah, I
clean it up exactly. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna get to
this masquerade ball. I'm gonna circulate, We're gonna mingle, we're gonna we're
gonna find out who's who and what's what. Wait, wait a minute,
Wait a minute, how did we get tickets to get in? Well,
my friend, I bet my alter ego, Drake Diamond might have something to
tell you about that. Good, but he's not gonna be there. Only
Detective Tim Falcon is gonna be there. Oh that's you, right, Yes,
that's me, that's my name. Great, Okay, we have that
clear, Yes, so we already. You all got your outfits. I
think I think you look good the way you are right now. Yeah,
I don't think I should change anything. I don't think so either. It's
you know, we have to blend in, Yes, and what better what
better way to blend into a masquerade ball than going disguised as cups? Yeah,
without masks? I like it. I like it. Okay, SE's
yours. I don't know. We're all wearing glasses those kind of count as
masks. I think that's it. Cons I didn't. Yeah, you sound
like you've been to Panama. I have. It was very hot. All
right, grab your badges, grab your guns, conceal them. Well,
we don't want anyone know were cops on this case. Right, let's go,
or should I say let's party? Mm hm, listen, I'm gonna
need you to stop these detectives from figuring out what I'm up to. Yeah,
you got the buck. Don't worry, I got it. I got
it. I'm gonna be my I thought I felt you worried. Now not
you. I'm talking to Prisma obviously. Oh oh oh right, yeah,
of course that's what I'm here for, after all. Thank you. Now,
exactly how are you going to seduce them, Prisma? Well? I
have my ways first and foremost. I like to peel the jacket back a
little bit, show things off, and then casually put it back on.
Okay, and pretend that I'm just a little warm, right, and that
I need someone to hold my jacket for me. Do you because I could
hold your jacket for you. No, that's the whole point. I offer
it to them, and then they can they can hold the jacket and then
they're sort of stuck with my jacket and they have to Oh there's a lot
of thought that goes behind so much thought. You're so smart. Thank you
now, boss? Wait wait, wait, wait, wait, what do
you want me to do? We just said over there with the gun like
next to the door. You know you can't have a gun, right,
What about me? Boss? Can I have a gun. You can have
a gun in your face. I get a gun. That's not fair.
Well, considering what happened last time, I think it's pretty fair. Okay,
boss, Okay, you're the boss. That's right. All right,
they're gonna be here any minute. Here's what else you need to pretend you
two don't know Chrisma? All right, I don't. I haven't even met
it yet. What's your name? But he's a guess, that's right,
A mom? Do you understand your numbskulls? Yes? N'ame good. She's
essentially undercover and the what and if things go well, perhaps tonight I'll be
under their covers. I don't get it, Jesus, No, no,
no, it's a it's a play on words. It's like one of them.
You know how a bed has covers, right, Yeah, under the
covers, right, and the warm and the woman comfortable. Then it's useless.
No, she's seducing. Why why you can't have a gun. This
is why you can't have a gun. This is why you can't have a
gun. What I'm just yeah, I don't even think you would know what
to do with it. I think you would just ante Alright, let's let's
go have a coffee. Mean you okay, right, yes, go have
a coffee. Did you get your gun? Don't forget your gun? Oh
yeah you not you? Not you? No, I got it, boss,
it's it's in my little ankle hosted. We're good. Okay, good
luck. I don't need luck. Okay, it was really easy to get
in here. Well that's usually the case when you have an invite. Yeah,
good thinking. Oh. I remember a case we worked on previously with
the lead singer of this band. He was in deep in the drugs and
doctor you you you you talked him out of it, told him to remember
that speech you gave. Go ahead, give that speech. Give that speech
again, the speech I talked about if your drugs don't do it. That's
all it took. You dropped the mic right on him, right on his
heart. Yeah, no speech. Yeah, it was a good speech.
Talk keep it short. Can you give us a little pet talk before before
we really start doing this case? Absolutely? Absolutely, okay, let's do
it. God damn it gets me every time I'm in a right, I
feel revive. Okay, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go to the bar,
get a beverage. Uh, delgatto or actually, I'm sorry, we
got it. We get what what's our don't we have? We have that?
Fake names? Don't we? Or do we? Maybe we don't?
We could? We could? Okay, I like fake names. My name
will be Falcon. Wait that's my real name. That is your real name?
Hold on, just said you name like that? That's right? I
will be That's that's good. Definitely it's real different Okay, ah, good
with names? Oh? Can I be something cool sounding like maybe like steering
wheel, steering wheel. We're gonna we're gonna do that sort of thing.
No one will suspect it. So we got eagle steering wheel and we're gonna
call you. How about fugly? Anybody wants some drugs? Fugly? O?
Hey, hey, how you doing? Hi? Just walk right up
on us? Or didn't you? You want some drugs? Drugs? Drugs?
Drugs? Tonight, guys, you gotta exhale when you say it,
drugs drugs, that's right. Anybody wants some drugs. I would take one
drug. I think I only have enough to afford one drug, two drugs,
two drugs because the first time, look at mister money bags over here,
steering wheels got the cash. Steering Wheel. Your name is steering Wheel.
It's more of a nickname. Well, it's yes, more and more
of a nickname. But it was my my given part of my given name
of Bartha. You want to they call me a s w Is there a
story about that? That's a good story. I'd love to take some drugs.
Ship. My mother gave birth while she was driving. So good,
so good? Were the did you deliver? It? Came out on the
steering wheel almost the air bags? A cool story? Man? Did you
deliver him? No? Who was me? I was the baby? I
know you were? You delivered yourself? I thought the doctor here was I
was like a teenage or something. Well, there are too much doctors,
right, Sorry, the drugs. Too much drugs in my nose. Too
much drugs, drugs, the drugs in my nose, I guess. So
is it working? Yeah? Man, I'm seeing stuff in My heart is
racing and I'm tired. Time. You were supposed to put the drugs in
your nose, drugs that I could take. Just take the drugs in your
mouth, mouth, drugs, put it in your mouth. I'll are you
here in an official capacity? Are you like the guy there? You go
official guy. I mean, I'm the guy, I'm the man, I'm
the drugs damn. So wait a minute, does that mean you know the
boss? I mean yeah, of course. Well I just got one question.
I'm I'm a I love I love the party, Old Falcon Eagle loves
the party. Your name's My name is Eagle. Man. You guys are
cool. I know, I'm just do drugs, fugly. Why do they
call you fugly? Because I don't look great, but I'm still fuckable?
You know you should. You should look at some synthic glow. Synth glown
glow. Yeah, what does it do? They can do cosmetic surgery.
They can change your whole face. It's great. The Boss is getting it
done. Synth the glow in the glow. That's right. Out of five
doctors actually recommend synth the glows right, and now it's five out of five
because Sky Fugly is gonna get it done and then recommend him. Aren't you
a fugly? Probably right, I should try this. You should try it
right now. And if you let them know that the Boss sent you from
his masquerade party, you can get fifteen percent off. Oh man, that's
already an already reasonable price. That's exactly right. Fifteen percent off of a
reasonable price makes it extra reasonable. Is just a product of Synthic Corp.
That's right. Cynthy Glow is a part of Cynthic Corp. You know,
Cynthic Corp. Kinds of stuff. That's right. They make clothing, they
make teeth, they make skateboards exactly. I think, Yeah, what you
want, we can make it synd Corp. That's right. Wow. Well
yeah, so backing three synth synth the Corp teeth right now. And I
gotta tell you that zero probably the Wow. Great Wow. I'm gonna and
again because I was really inviting and I like the way you said it.
Yeah, if you let them know that you came from the party, they'll
give you fifteen percent off of an already reasonable prize, which makes it reasonable
extra reasonable. Yeah, damn. They should change your name from drug guy
to deal's guy. That's right. I liked that. I like that a
lot. I guess some sales guys something bargain Ben. My my actual name's
Ben, so that could work. Bargain Ben, bargain right. Wow?
Nice? All right, Ben? Alright, I'm gonna go off to sell
more drugs before you go though, Before you go, though, tell us
like I didn't, I didn't say on the invite, like, what does
the boss have planned for entertainment for us tonight? Oh, you'll see.
I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. All right, thank you, Bara,
Save some of those drugs for the main event. See you later,
Okay, until next time. Bargain Ben, Wow, what a guy.
Yeah, I feel like we got a deal. Good product, good corporation.
Yeah. So we've got some information. Now, we've got an inside
track. We know something is going down mm hmm, some sort of entertainment
at this masquerade ball. As we determined time and location. All right,
we will probably be taking in yes, Okay, like I said, Fugly
and I hugly and Eagle, you're you're my You're gonna be my wing man.
We're gonna go over the bar. Are gonna scope things out, okay,
uh Delcato. I want you to go over by the bird enclosure.
Yes, steering wheel, you're steering. Well sorry, sorry, sorry steering
will I'm I want you to go over by the bird enclosure and post up
there and see if you can spot any suspicious activities and then we'll meet over
there at the chocolate fountain, and let's say twenty minutes. Okay, okay,
the white chocolate Fountain, not the dark chocolate Mountain. Yeah, that
one's too bitter, Yeah for me, agreed. And we know how bitter
you are since you woke up and realized your wife left you from your amnesia
at a coma. That's right. You don't like more bitter on top of
your bitter? No, I like it's sweet. Try such a tough time,
All right, let's go. Okay, right here we go. So
I gave them some drugs. Getting so warm in here, I don't think
you're supposed to be doing that on me. Look I'm just warming up.
Okay, all right? Now, what were they? Like? Pretty stupid,
I think, but the drug stupid? No problem? Like you really
got to worry about the one with the mustache. Yeah, I saw him
take the drugs. All right, good, Well, I suppose I should
have my own social lubricants. I'll have a whiskey, thank you. Yeah,
me too. Okay, if you turn a little bit to your left
and act like you're stretching, you'll see one of them by the fountain,
the white chocolate fountain, not the dark chocolate fountain. M hmm. I
don't know why we have a dark chocolate fountain. It just looks like ship.
Some people prefer dark chocolate, all right with that? Hey, there
away, it's my man, my best friend Ben. I think drug.
It was good, it was I was talking to the blonde over here.
Hey, So what's a uh nice place like you doing in a girl like
this? Very clever? It's a well, one of my friends is hosting
this party. Oh, hosting? The Party's getting a little warm in here
though. Oh, isn't you think yeah, you should take a jacket?
I probably should. Yeah, do you mind if I hold that for you?
Or I could? I think the doctor looks a little bit more desperate.
Why don't you hold this for me? Doc? Catch? Oh,
you're a real firecracker, aren't you. That was my nickname in college.
Shut up, I'm talking to this nice man here. You're interrupting. H
My nickname in college was Pterodactyl. Pterodactyl. Why did they call you that?
Because I could screech really loud. That does make a lot of sense.
Have you does had have Have you had that? Looked at? I've
grown up, grown into my vocal cords. Looks like you've grown up a
bit yourself. That's right. I'm glad that you've noticed. So may I
have the honor of your name? You can call me Prisma, Prisma desk.
Oh, my name is Eagle. Eagle, yeah, Eagle dark?
And how big is your wingspan? Eagle? Oh, i'd say about this
big? Oh oh oh, firecracker again. Yes, indeed, so Eagle.
What brings you to this wonderful party tonight? Well, I'm on a
short list of people that help the boss get things done. I'd rather not
go into it, but I bet that's normal for you, being associated with
such a powerful man of mystery. I do like powerful men of mystery.
Do you like powerful men of mystery who can dance? I don't know.
Let's find out. So I was talking to Ben, the drug guy,
and he told me there are some secret festivities happening later today. You got
any more information about that, Well, it's really none of my business.
You have to understand. I am relied on by so many people. Spin
me. Oh, that was a good note. Now time for the dip.
Well how about I dip you? Oh? Oh, that was it?
You dip? You're very strong. Thank you. It would have to
be all of the supplements that I get from Omni Health, a global healthcare
a conglomerate dedicated to providing comprehensive medical services in state of the art treatments.
Wait, how many Health is committed to extending the human lifespan and enhancing quality
of life through innovative healthcare solutions. That's why I brought you some Omni Health
water. It's you again. And if you use the code private lives for
no reason whatsoever, you too can get two percent off. Thanks Ben.
Also, you're welcomely, Hey, flugly, go give us a drink.
IL ready got one for her. Oh that's right, now give me once.
I also am thirsty and in need of health. Please m I'm sorry
about that. He's always interrupting. I was about to ask what regiments are
you on? I'm on Plan seven B seven B of the Omni Health Plan.
Yes, seven B is close to my heart. I'm on seven C.
Oh, you just said the magic word. That word is omni Health.
I've never been more turned on. Is there a place perhaps that we
could talk more privately? Of course, we wouldn't want our private lives to
be on display. To everyone. Would we No, our lives have to
remain private sometimes, that's right. Why don't you follow me this way?
There's a cod check room right over there. Oh well, let me just
go confer with Fugly and get my delicious refreshing omni health water and I'll meet
you there because I bet I'm going to need it if you miss dusk.
It is miss, isn't it? Maybe maybe not? You are a pistol
bang bang, Come on, big boy, show me the co check all
right, I'm in hey, Fugly, Yeah, you got a real sour
puss on. What's wrong? Nothing? I got you your drink. It's
a plus size. I'm sure you're needed, and it's discounted right now.
You're right, I am going to get extra thirsty, so thank you for
that discount, private lot. Did you use the two percent discount when you
got this from the bar? Of course I did. I'm not an imbecile,
right, I know? How do you? Okay? But you didn't
go for corpo size. Shit, I'm sorry. We don't have time.
No, we don't. What I need you to do is okay, you
to follow me at a safe distance. I'm taking her back to the code
check, and I'm gonna pump her for information. So I don't want to
be too close to that where no steering wheel. I don't know where is
steering wheel. I don't you wish and check in on her? Yeah?
Like now ish, okay, you follow me to the co check. Yeah,
and then and then and then I'll find up on the steering wheel.
But I will go too far. I'll somehow be in both places. Tell
me the plan, Yeah, tell her the plan. Okay, I will.
I'll see you in the coat, not in the co check. But
buy it. Okay, I got it. Yeah, I want to hear
about this plan. I could not help. But over here, from across
the whole entire room, I have supersonic hearing. Yeah, I remember that.
I don't know if you know this, but they used to have a
tiger. Really, yes, but why it helped with my hearing? But
please continue your plan. Yes, the plan, that's the plan that has
nothing in where Aristhma dusk and me being with her and instead Eagle is with
her or whatever. He's gonna go there and he's going to pump her full
of no weight, pumper for information. You too can get supersonic hearing at
pulse deck. He used to code private live for two percent off? Is
that rathertheless? Did I? We should not be pumping anybody right now,
doctor, But if you want to help you find this person, maybe maybe
we can maybe we can help interrogate. I would like to meet such a
such a woman. Yeah, well she's right over there in that closet,
in the closet, in the closet. Okay, will you lead me over
there? Of course, I'll just step back, go right in. Okay,
I'm gonna walk into the closet, all right, Eagle, Why don't
you show me that wing span? What wingspan are we talking about? I'm
unfurling right now. Oh my, oh my, oh, he's been disturbed.
Bye and flea grante delicto from synth Glow, No, I do.
It should be from sink Law. And you look like you're a person that
casually puts a jacket on just to take it off a little later because they
get too warm. And I take your hand and I kiss it? All
right? What is happening here? You thought you were into me, Desert
flower. I'm sorry it doesn't feel too good. Who's a detective? No?
I meant dick that from the synth the glow? All right, I
have a confession. Who I said I was? Oh, I'm actually studying
for a role as a police officer in my next acting gig, because that's
what I'm I'm here to research. I'm researching being undercover. But I'm not.
I'm an actor, an actor. They're terrible. Why would you want
to be an actor? What kind of super bastard becomes an actor? Only
the worst kind of buster. No, I'm just more turned on. Now,
Wait a minute, what you really didn't give me and her a lot
of time in the in private. I didn't get the things I was going
for. What do you think this is private lives? I know what's very
much private lives. My life must be public with this woman, and I
kneel down again. Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Wholio Ricardos
band Goto, but my friends they call me July. I thought your name
was Steering Wheel. It was for a short time until I met you.
It was just a clever pseudonym, bulletproof. No one could see through it.
Well, July, don't let me down, princess. Let's see how
hot your summer is. At least record temperature Oh my, I keep the
sunglasses on. Oh my, wow, I need some drugs after that.
Eagle. Come with me. They're busy. Let's go see that boss.
All right, No dames this time, though. They just fine. They
just mess everything up. And they always they always believe you, and they
always go for the sexy, spacepanic guy. They never never ever go for
you, even though you have a cool name like Eagle or Falcon. Look,
if you can't have her, neither can I. All right, let's
go find the big boss. Shake him down for information. Okay, I
think he's right there. I see him right there, all right, really
close, big Boss Clark Cavill. That's right. We know your name.
That's right. I heard there's gonna be some festivities here today. Yeah,
I'd like to know about him. I'm very excited. I'm an actor,
so I'm in the entertainment business. I'm actually curious too. Is it going
to be the sort of entertainment that requires loud explosions or fireworks? Gunpowder?
He's giving us the silent shoulder. I know it's gonna be a tough nut
to crack. Okay, we'll be back. Have an idea, come with
me, Okay, okay, okay, I'll go with you. I'll go
with you. All right, Okay, what's your idea here? Coming close?
Yeah? Oh right, right, right right? What was your idea?
Okay? So what I'm thinking is that I've noticed there's some guys around
here dressed exactly the same. Do you see that? Yeah? Maybe we
should like in some sort of uniform it is, yeah, yeah, like
waiters or something. Uh. What we could do is we could pump them
for information. That's a good plan. Yeah, or you know what,
I have an idea. Okay, everybody knows hold on, let's let's let's
back away. Okay, okay, okay, I have an idea. Okay,
everybody knows that doctors. Everybody trusts the doctor. True. So my
idea is you talk to big Boss, get whatever information you can out of
oh mister Cavell. Okay, And I'm gonna find the CEO of Neogen,
the one that they're supposed to be. Something happening to them later Neogen Solutions.
Yeah, and I'm gonna keep an eye on. I'm gonna shadow them
to make sure if something happens to them, I'm there when it does.
Absolutely, go do your job, God will I will just if there's any
change of my seasons. Okay, I don't want to be near that,
mister cavill S. They have a moment of your time. I'm your doctor,
so I am trustworthy. Thank you. I'm gonna come clean with you.
It's your doctor, which I'm very Yes, I am a doctor and
ask such. It's it. I come clean with a lot of people,
so I'm gonna come clean with you. You all right, very suit yourself.
I'm very interested because I've heard some chatter around here about something going down
later? Are you humping me for information? As hard as I can try
harder? Okay, what's going down later? Not hard enough? Perhaps if
you offered me a discount. Oh, the words right out of my mouth.
Do you know much about ether dynamics? No? No, I'm a
big CEO of one of the biggest corporations in the industry, yet I've never
heard of them. Why don't you tell me all about them? Did I
want to say eighth dynamics? I sure did. Did you see this?
What is that? A space pin? A space pen? Eighth dynamics?
It writes in space impossible it does. Watch I'm going to write upside down?
Oh, boss, you gotta get us a scoon. Some of those.
We're in space? Did you know we were in space? Right now?
We must be. You're writing with the space pen upside down. Oh,
that means we're in space right Otherwise it would be false sanblitizing window.
It's well, no, no, it's not false advertising. You see ether
Dynamics they created this for space and Earth. Yes it's terrestrial. But yeah,
boss, that pen writes on Earth and in space. That's exactly right.
Terrestrial terrestrial, that's the name of it, except the rights in space.
It's also that's bold. Magnets. I love magnets because sometimes they're fun,
and ether Dynamics knows that when you have a pin, you might need
some fun ether dynamics And if you're so fun and trustworthy, I heard they're
available on every street corner. And well, he's a doctor, so you
trust available, You've got you. You might need to search a little bit.
They're being rolled out. There's a level of exclusivity, which means they
could be more expensive. But you're not cool if you don't have one.
Oh exactly, But I'll tell you what I have the inside track. I
can get you a discount. How much of a discount. Are we talking?
It's someone say discount. I did, and it's a big one.
I'm only just now seeing you. Doctor. That is your name, isn't
it? Doctor? Close enough? Idea where she went? She was right
over here today, Come on over as I offer you twelve percent off.
Twelve percent off, wait and wait so much? There's more more. That's
right. That's a good deal anyway you slice it, bloss. If you
contact them now, you will get two fresh inserts for your terrestrial pin to
write on Earth or in space. But only if you contact them now,
and in fact, we will have about three or four minutes of dialogue that
is inconsequential to the story, So you can do just I've never been more
turned on than I am right now hearing about these ether dynamics points much.
You'll be more turned on if you call now. That's right. Anybody could
be as turned on as you if they get one of these pens or two
all four twelve percent off. They're selling themselves. Speaking of selling themselves,
is there anything I can help you with? Doctor? I see you've found
our gracious host. Oh maybe you look like you need to check up.
Are you looking to play doctor? Excuse me, please continue, I said,
are you looking to play doctor? Only if I have the right patient.
I think you'll find that I'm always the right patient. Well, patience,
because I still have a little work to do here with mister Cavell.
Don't forget about the pins, mister Cavell. Mister Cavell, yes, are
you fine on your own? You I could use some company. Well,
I suppose I can assist you with whatever you might need. Doctor, Well,
I have come over here some preparation for my surgery. Anyway, it
was nice to meet you, doctor. Thank you for the twelve percent off.
Okay, mister Cavill. Refresh everyone refreshed, Prisma refreshed in that five
now, oh god, we're dying old. This is the two minutes of
non consequential dialogue that we're having because you're calling right now for your twelve percent
off. Hmm perfect. Will you talk to me over here or here fast?
Perhaps in the coat closet, I guess good enough, but no.
Meanwhile, in the coat closet, while others are refreshing, I'm okay,
all right, all right, no, no, no, I think I've
I think I've spotted the CEO of Neogen I'm gonna shadow them. I don't
know. Okay, the CEO of Neogen has a weird mustache but no accent.
Perfect Wait, I heard weird mustache there, but no accent. You
are now the CEO of Neogen right now, the NPC, I'm going to
go back to the cost. So hell of hell of a masquerade party we're
having here, isn't it heck in time of a masquerade party? Isn't it
so crazy? I feel like it's just the darnest thing that's ever happened.
Have you seen anything while you've been here out of the ordinary? Anything?
Oh? No, No? Suspicious? No? No. Do you believe
in ghosts? Yes, of course I do. I was one. I'm
seeing a couple ghosts. One of them looks. There's a guy over there
that looks just like me, except he's wearing sunglasses. Handsome fellow, handsome
fellow. Also he's a woman stealing asshole. That's a shame, but here
in my day. Yeah, yeah, so if we could, Uh,
I just want to I just want to let you know that something might be
going down and you're involved. Unbeknownst to you, of course, How am
I involved? Well? I think the person who threw this this little shindig.
Mister Call, mister Call, I think he's got designs on perhaps kidnapping,
torturing and or murdering you and then taking over your business. I'm not
sure exactly what he has up his sleeves, but it ain't it ain't good.
Whatever it is, this is a good time to tell you I built
a bunker for myself just in case here and is home here it's too secret.
Elevator over there, Oh my god, yes, would you like me
to show you? I would love that. That way we can hide in
there when they try to do stuff to you. That's right. A promise.
You've got a promise that you have. You have to keep it secret,
of course they will. Okay, I'm good to keep. Don't tell
Falcon eagle, Falcon eagle. Okay. Actually it's just Ele just eagle,
okay. So of Neo Jen And that makes me privy to my own name,
and I'm not going to share that information with you just yet. So
for me, you don't have to. Your name is well known. My
name is very well known around these parts. Follow all right, show me
your show me your bunker that you've built a new mister Cavill's house. Absolutely
all right, it's just around this bend here, okay, all right,
and I think there's a little button and I'm gonna hit that button. We're
just gonna wait for a second. Oh my god, the bird enclosure was
not a bird enclosure after all. It was a secret bunker. Oh my
godclosure was not a bird the close. Let me try that again. Let
me try that again. It was a secret bunker. No secret secret,
not birds bunker. What are you having there? Oh, let's go in.
I'm going with you. Wait for me. Oh shit, we go,
your back and we go. I took off my sho there's no sunglasses
here. I'm a different person. So in we go into the elevator and
I pressed sixty four. But it has a little negative uh sign minus signed.
So we're going. Oh the doors are closed. Hold on the doors
closed. Let me okay, never mind, you're in. Good, We're
good, We're good. I'm I'm so sorry. That never happens. It's
fine. It happens to everyone, does it, really? No, no,
it doesn't. Wait a minute. This would probably be a good time
to mention the gen solutions to help that you could get with just a simple
purple pill. You're able to take care of any need you might have,
any especially one's down there. Oh that's good. How much it is?
Is it expensive? Of course not. It's reasonably priced and affordable for everyone.
That's good, even people that don't need it, so you can just
use it when you feel like it. It's for everyone, yes, everyone,
And in fact, right now, there's actually a fifteen percent off offer.
Are they not just giving them away at that point? Yes? They
are at fifteen percent off. Wow, Ondiogen Solutions, purple Pill. I
will get one today. That would be a good idea. You probably should
have actually gotten one before you came here, hindsight, it's twenty twenty.
Now I'm going to need you to put the clipboard down and put your hands
up. Why that's right. I'm not happy to see you. That's a
gun in your back. Oh ah, tell me why you're really here?
Why am I really here? I shouldn't tell you what you're going to Oh
mm fine, I'm a cop doctor, a cop doctor, that's right.
I thought I couldn't get more turned on. That's unfortunate because I really can't
help you out with that right now until I get that purple pill. Maybe
we can ask Ben if Ben has any purple pills, we can Why put
my arms up still? Or can I put them down? Let's see how
long you can keep it up? Hey, Ben, I think miss Dusk
is signaling for you. If somebody wants some drugs, that's right, Ben,
ignore the gun and pop a purple pill for my friend here. One
or two, big boy, Two sounds dangerous. Let's go with one.
It is? Oh? No open? Oh say hold on, I need
to put my hand down to drink some of my omni water. No,
that's okay, I got it for you. Oh thank you? M hm
perfect good doctor. Not for long? Come on, doctor, you're gonna
tell me all about your little mission here. I don't fine, but I
want you to know that the purple pill is working already. Well, if
you're a it's because it's new jan wwice as effective as your average pill.
If you're a good little boy, then maybe once we're done, I'll help
you out with your purple pill. Deal. Where are we going over there?
I figured we could just go back into the into the closet. Oh
that's right, years yeah, yeah, to the closet. After you wait,
no, after me, now, doctor, tell me what you have
planned. This is a really nice bunker you have here, and that elevator
right really smooth, smooth as hell. Hm hm listen, I needed you
to know something. I'm actually also steering wheel. No, yes, yes,
yes, I understand. I've been undercovered this whole time, and I
don't want anybody else to know this. This has been the operation that has
been killing me inside. I've had to hide it from my entire family.
Is your accent real? No? I switch. I switch accents from time
to time, just to switch it up and keep things interesting. But I
have a family, I have a bunker, and it's been here the entire
time. What about your tragic backstory? Is nothing about that true either?
It's all true? Oh okay, never mind, depending on who you ask.
Oh God, anyway, there's a bar down here. Would you like
a drink? I need one? Now, whose cider are you on?
Tell me the truth? Who cider are you on? Okay, i'll tell
you, I'll tell me. I'll slap it out of you. Here comes
the first one. Oh, now you tell me the truth? My brand
new face up. Wait wait wait wait wait, don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it. Your face looks fine because you've got your face done
an eclipse cybernetics, didn't you. You can't slap that face off no matter
how hard you try. Let me try again. Your face is still in
the same place. Oh, you bit both cheeks. I did it,
sting so much. I still haven't made you that drink you would you like?
Your answered my question? Who do you work for? Myself? I
don't have any allegiance to anyone other than me. That's right, baby,
I'm taking all the cash. It's all coming home with Papa Julio. I'll
tell you this. I can't believe all of the stuff you've told me today.
It's blowing my mind. But this is gonna blow your mind even more.
Ready, I want in, That's what I want to hear. Well,
it's a great time to tell you that I have the most dramatic escape
plan. Are you ready? I'm ready? What are you escaping from this
life? Mm hmm, I'm going to Now a bad time to tell you
that I've loved you ever since you walked into that precinct. The way you
walk, the way you talk, your accent. I love how muddled it
is. You're just frankly you're just gorgeous. But but but I but I
never knew. I never knew either. I've been lying to myself this time,
telling myself that it's not true. You can't love them, Julio Delgado,
it never works, workplace romances never work out. But I know I
can't lie to myself anymore. And no matter what you do and who you
are, I will love you forever. Hi does mo right straight to the
Chorusome, there's the accent again. Heart comes out when I am romantic or
when my heart is hurting. Oh, I completely understand. Oh where was
a Chinese woman last month for a whole week? I get it. Sometimes
these things happen. Twenty percent off now on your new face and neo jen
so you can also look this painful the heart. Dugain eclips cybernetics. He
clips cybernetics, so you can also look like you are done in the dumps
because someone just told you they are in love with you. I have such
a special chip they put in your brain that signals your face to react with
emotion. M it's revolutionary. I just wish they made up a cure for
a broken heart. Well, you know what they say about broken hearts,
probably something important, all right, So what's your escape plan? To escape
its life? Are we escaping with somebody's money? I hope. What we're
doing is we're going to you know, my money. Go shoot, they
heard my plan. You see the room over there, See all the bags
of money with the dollar signs on them. Yes, oh my god,
you built your bunker in his bank vault. No, this is not the
bank fault. This is the plan. Those are all full of potatoes and
not any not any de narrow at all, my friends. So we're just
going to leave that. That's a red hearring. Now the other elevator over
there is full of hours the cash. Do you have an escape vehicle?
I do. I have a boat. Excellent, it's under the entire facility.
I'm ready to leave this boat since I was twelve years old. It's
called it's it's it's called the the the Rosemary Clooney. And we're going to
make away. We're going to we're going to we're gonna make waves. That's
right, We're going to make waves and we're going to dance the mumble on
the boat for a getaway. Are you ready? And I'm ready whenever you
are so we're just gonna forget about about mister Cavil and all of this stuff,
and we're just gonna go and live together. Oh well, we could
go back up and let them know. I mean, that would be the
courteiest thing to do. Okay, okay, all right, I'm down to
do that. The boat has enough room for at least six people. So
oh good, oh good, okay, excell okay, wonderful. Well,
here's the elevator to go back up. All right, I'll see you upside
up. Well, I'll be in the elevator with you, but we'll go
up together, right right right, okay, sixty four floors back up here
we go. Well, so doctor, that's your plan. That is my
plan. What do you think? Well, it's not as impressive as I
thought it would be a little straightforward. What about the size of the plane.
It's how you imply you ride? How many times have you heard that
before? Doctor? Once or twice? Maybe Where did your friends go?
I don't know, now that I think about it, I should probably look
for them. You're a hell of a distraction, you know that, am
I. Well, it looks like my job's done. What wait a minute,
you see doctor, while I was here with you. Our associates were
taking care of your friends. What that's right, they should be dead right
now? No? Yes, no, yes, oh yes, then I
definitely should go now. So I'm just gonna open the door and go check.
But wait a minute. If you're aware, then the people you're with
might be aware. I'll need a disguise. Where did the doctor go?
That's right, that's right. Oh no, I lost him. Yeah,
he's got my coat. Oh, you better go get him. Excuse me,
my god, Oh my god. The god that's stamping, Oh my
god, zell animals here, there's no time for disguise. Why are there
so many? Oh my god? Is that the elephants stampeding through the manner?
I figured out what the what the attraction was for the middle of the
of the entertainment of the Masquerade Ball, we hired a circus. O my
god. Over there. They know how to use a lighter like humans.
Oh my god, Oh my god. We had an electric events powered by
po Tech, a revolutionary energy company committed to sustainable power solutions. But we
don't because we weren't smart like you. Oh my god. Everyone could go
to their website right now and buy a new electric fence from Pulse Tech.
That's exactlys are going to be wanting to trample on your property. Wait a
minute, I wish I could go back in time. Yeah, if enough
people buy this electric fence by Pulse Tech and they set them up in a
perimeter, maybe we can get more people on it. So if anyone is
listening by an electric fence from Pulse Tech, he new plan though today all
of you? Are we including Ben in this plan? Yes? I think
it's important. Not you, doctor Fugley, I'm talking to lie. Oh
sorry, wait? Are we including Ben in on this escape plan that you've
hatched? That sounds fun? Do I get to bring my drugs out?
That's why we're bringing you along, Ben, That's why I always for the
RNE and for the ride. What are we talking about plan here today?
Because Julio has been playing us this entire time. Julio, tell them what
you did? What did you do? Julio? Wait a minute, I
know that face? So do I? You look like the CEO one in
this party? Right? I am the CEO who's running this party. All
of the cash is downstairs, walk in an elevator, and I've got a
boat ready to go. Wait, and I've only got space for a party,
and I'm over six people, me and two all of us, but
let me count. I'm a doctor. Okay, he's trustworthy, right,
three? Four or five? Six? I must revert to there's not a
space for all of us. One will have to stay behind. Oh my
god, Oh my god, you're counting is infallible because you're a doctor.
So I'll take your word for it. Oh my god, we might have
to leave the butnoble behind. No, I will stay behind nobody. Wait,
the doctor is staying behind, and we're fine. The but Noble's coming
a doctor. Being a doctor is a life of sacrifice, so it makes
sense. Where did that hot little firecracker go? Do you mean me?
No? They also, Oh my god, even though I'm in love with
Julio, you are invited on this boat escape. Are you coming or not?
We'll see or not see. There's not much time. We could be
stampeded by elephants. Doctor or should I say detective doctor? Listen, I'm
already decided to stay behind. Oh good, then you can just fuck off.
You want some drugs road? Yeah, okay, here's some drugs for
the road. Thank you. We will know I didn't want to say this,
but his counting was way off. I'm just glad that he volunteered to
not go on the boat. You want to grab your boss themshell? Yeah,
let's get I think Clark. I likes a good boat. Is it
a nice boat? That's the boat. It's a lovely boat. Yes,
that's got nice leather seats, so you know when the water hits. Okay,
so it's not going to sink into the cushion or anything like that.
It's got a beer cooler. There's a space for the bonobo. We'll have
a great time. Bobos are the monkeys, right, that's correct? Right,
Okay, we're correct. And also I have to tell you something.
Well, you know, Julio knows, miss Miss Dusk. You don't know,
but I was a cop undercover this whole time. What you were?
I know? But I'm yes I was, But I'm no longer a cop.
I've given up the life because I'm in love with Julio, and Julio's
escaping on a boat, and me and Julio we're gonna have a life together.
And if you want to join us, you are allowed to be on
the boat, but probably not to live with us after we find out where
we're going. Right, Okay, if you can't live with that, you
can't be on this boat. I just don't know what to say if I
join you, can you forgive me and my wild heart? We'll see.
Wait, what all the bosses here? That's right? Hello mister Cavell.
Hello. Oh I was here to arrest you, but now I'm not doing
that anymore. Thank you, I appreciate it. I have something to tell
you, Julio. I didn't need cosmetic surgery to look just like you because
I'm your long lost twin, my twin. That's right. I actually got
the cosmetic surgery to reverse the disguise that I've been wearing for most of my
life. Oh, my twin that I thought was dead mine. That's right,
that's right. I didn't actually die in that fore crash when we were
four years old, That car crash when we were four years old, That
spinner crash when we were four years old. Not the spinner crash when we
were four years old. Not the spinner crash crash when you're four years old.
Never it was real. That was in core memory, the divine part
of who it was for the rest of my life. It was a lie.
I can't believe it was a lie. It was a life must be
turned upside down. Now my life is turned upside down. But that's okay
because you have a boat. That's right aboard the boat. Hopefully we don't
end up in the boat. Let's talk. Get on the boat, though.
There's one thing that you have to know before we get on the boat.
What's that I'm pregnant. Oh, and the baby is yours mine?
Are you talking to you? Yes? Doctor, all of ours? All
of ours? Wait? Yes, but I just did hand stuff el Nino
and that's thanks to synthocorp. Oh, they're new sex by osmosis product,
those people with the parenting process. Wait a second, with just a simple
cream, it's legit. I think we need a trustworthy doctor to let us
know. Oh no, god, the phoney, we had one. It's
legit. Who oh wow, he read just said that and fucked off.
I love it. So about that boat, right, it's downstairs waiting for
us. In fact, it's been turned on the entire time, so hopefully
it didn't take off by itself. Do you want to take the elevator or
do you want to take the corporal elevator. It's reserved for only the wealthiest
and the richest in life. As you know, I have a very rich
life. Let's take the let's take their corpor elevator. Before we go,
I have to get miss Dusk's coat. She left it by the bar.
Oh, you can't have her getting cold. What a gentleman you are.
You don't know the half of it. Baby. I think she saw your
whole wings band. Anybody see a coat? I'm looking for a coat.
Isn't it all I got? Is he getting trampled? We should have gotten
that bans from whatever the corporation coats. I say, don't forget the code
on checkout for twelve percent off. Well, his wing his wingspan wasn't that
impressive anyway. So I guess it's just you, me and Clerk here.
We could also fit the doctor. Now that now that we don't have Eagle
with us, now that eagle is actually looking more like squirrel on the road.
Tell me, how do you feel about twins. I've had twins before.
It was magical, I think. I mean I had just found out
I am still a twin. So that's that's that's that's pretty nice, dude,
are you suggesting that you have twins. No, no, that's not
at all what I was suggesting. It's all right, I'll explain it to
you when we're older. Oh gosh, eagle's so flattened. I don't think
there's any coming back from that. No, I'm a doctor, and from
what I can tell, he's dead. Well, the doctor said, so,
so it must be true. I miss him. He was in love
with me. So sad. That is sad. But it's okay because you
have a boat. We have a boat filled with cash. Let's go downstairs.
All right. We're using the Corporo elevator. We'll get there in two
seconds. Oh, we're here two seconds. Two seconds. Here was two
seconds. It's longer than the doctor lasted. So here's the boat. I've
got space for you and and and and our butnobyl friend. I don't know
where all. Oh no, wait a minute, where's fugly the doctor?
The doctor? I think he was trying to peel the have we have room
for the doctor. He was trying to peel the squirrel off of the ground.
I mean, maybe maybe he'll be successful. May he's a doctor,
after all? Is the doctor rich? Of course he is. He's a
doctor off the discount that you need in order to live a better life.
Discount doctor hay Non. He won't be able to hear you through the layers
and layers of concrete in our bunker. However, I can use my trusty
comm's device from ether Dynamics. You can, I can. Where would we
all be able to purchase something like that? Doctor? We're waiting for you
downstairs. You can use the Corpo elevator. The password is Corpo. I
appreciate that, but I should stay with the body. Go on without me,
bring the body with you. It's that's not an easy ask. I
mean, surely there's like a broom in a dustbin or something we could do,
like a dust Bentley. It's a little too wet for a broom.
It's fine, Okay, that sounds like a personal problem. It is for
you. See I loved him. Oh you're in love with Eagle. Yes,
I knew it. Go on without me? My life it's nothing.
I have nothing and I will never want for anything ever again. Well,
what if you had a boat. It's tempting, but I don't think so.
No, it's more like a yacht. How about now, it's a
little more tempting, But a boat doesn't compare to love. Are you sure?
What about a doctor? Yes, we're going to need a nanny for
our baby. What perhaps that's the love you need it all along? No,
now go on without me, please before. But you can't. I've
had many, many people that I love trampled by elephants. You can't listen
to so many incidents define who you are. I thought, I have a
twin. That's it's me, the twin, the twin. The we're identical.
There's nothing out there for me anymore. Nothing. Just go fine,
if you insist, we'll get out of your hair. Doctor. But let
me tell you one thing. Sometimes sometimes elephants trample over things that we love,
and you just have to get over it. Life is pain, any
one pain, But not today. Well, I'm just going to go throw
my stuff in the boat. It's more like a yacht. It's more like
a yacht. Chuckle, like a corporo yacht. Right right, eagle,
Eagle, It's okay, eagle, It's okay. You can get up now,
they're not here anymore. Straighten your glasses, come on there you go.
Yeah, you'll have to take the pill to make the flattened. Look
go off again. Just you know, yeah, you're okay, you take
the pill. There you go. Just so you know the plan works.
I was able to wire everything up while you had them just acted. I'm
back. Our plan work. It did so far excellent. So who's with
our plan? Goes according to plan, then we are going to escape with
the money and all they get our potatoes. That's right. I love the
button. I'm sorry what was that? I had my eyes closed? I
kiss? Oh yeah, sorry? Do you want to hit the button?
Do I need some mom water? Tonight, a shocking discovery has rocked the
sector as an l a PD analyst was found dead in her home. While
the cause of death remains unknown, the l a p D says they have
no reason to suspect foul play. The victim had just spent significant time in
a hospital stay after brutally being attacked by what sources claim was none other than
the Replicant underground terrorist group. Our hearts go out to our family at this
time and we stand by the LAPD. Hello. This is Pumpkin Perrier,
director and producer GM and perhaps a relic. If you enjoyed the podcast,
please make sure to rate and review it, and head over to tablestory dot
tv for our extensive library. Thank you for your support and enjoy, Hue and Yokoso