This is not don't expect to be put on your lifetime straight from because you'll
find side Hi, Aron, welcome to side Quest. It's not the main
game. It's the other thing we do in between the main games where we
forego the adventure in the theater of the mind and having adventure. I guess
in a in an actual theater, because we're going to be talking about movies
to kick us off. But before we kick off, who are the players
on the talkie talkie pitch? It's myself, Steve Wherever, it's Robert Bevan,
it's our e Carr I've always known as Rachel Hill friends. Yeah,
I want to talk about movies because I left the house and watch a movie
the every week. And I think that's notable enough to frame an entire fucking
podcast. Or I mean, it has been a long time since people have
consistently gone out to a theater. It was packed when I went. Am
I wait before you asking me a shit about not what having watched any of
this crap? Am I still the only one on this DND podcast that I've
seen the DND movie. No, I've seen the DND movie. I haven't
seen the d and D movie. We can talk about have you want it's
amazing, Like I'm shocked and haven't seen it. Yeah, me too.
I'm not the most motivated. I got out of house to watch Guides Ins
the Galaxy. Isn't it streaming now? The DND movie? Yeah? But
then I have a push a button. Oh yeah, a whole button.
That is that is a bridge too far. Sometimes, to be fair,
it might not be streaming in my country. Yeah, that could be an
international access thing for which I will not be held responsible for. So we're
given a thumbs up to the D and D movie. Are we forgiving Hasbro
and their violent assassins they send to Magic the Cavern card Feves or I don't
think you need to forgive them two thumbs up the movie? It was good
because they are different, Yeah, different production companies. Well whatever, I'm
just saying, it was still a good movie. I mean, regardless of
whatever shady shit they're doing. Okay, it's not the actor's fault in this
case, or like even the producer. Well maybe I can still understand if
you don't want to give them money, fine, but that doesn't take away
that it was a good movie. Go to Bevan's house and he's got a
painting by Hitler above his fireplace. What it's a good painting. If it
was a good painting, then Hitler would have turned out all right, that's
fat. Unfortunately he failed that vegetarianism and painting, so he had to go
to his third choice, which was genocide and being an utter dipshit. Oh,
I've already failed both of those things, but you still haven't. Did
you have genocide on your to do list? No? I wasn't planning to
succeed at at But then I wasn't really planning to succeed at a painting and
vegetarianism, so who knows how life turns out. Yeah, so it's not
your to do that. Yeah, that's that's true. And again I don't
have it to do list. By the way, you can't stream it.
It's not available in the UK yet, so you are off the hook.
That makes me seem a lot less incompetent. And I've got my finger on
the pulse. I just don't pirate things. Guys, Well, this is
one who might want to pirate. It should be paramount plus. When you
guys get that, I guess I'll watch it. So did you enjoy it?
Was it true? To the spirit of Dungeons and Dragons. I would
say that, yes, it was in the best possible way. It wasn't
They didn't do the meta thing where you know, at the end of the
camera or pans back and it's a bunch of kids playing. But it was
lighthearted and fun and it was I felt Now I won't say it felt like
Willow, but it was the same kind of like fun adventure Willow. That's
that's the movie I vibe before before there was a Dungeons Dragons movie. That's
the one I always felt like felt like a Dungeons and Dragons game. I
can see that it had. It didn't take itself too seriously, which I
don't know if any of you have sat through the two thousand travesty, which
both have on here. Yeah, yeah, you gotta have the im demo
dar line. But it's way better than that. Like it's light years.
It's a different galaxy than the first d Indie movie. It has production values
and charisma. Jeremy I eating the camera with his massive team. You know
they have Hugh Grant eating the camera. Yeah, single piece of scenery that
that man did not chew and spit. I think they should have just got
Jerry Behinds and Hugh Grant the fuck on camera and character. There would have
been the ultimate Dungeons and Dragons movie. And I shan't be dissuaded from this
argument. Now I can't argue, no, that's the Dungeons and Dragons fan
faic movie. Get it right? Well, I think if the fan fake
is superior to the original, it is up to the original to step down.
Also, you need a unicorn? Is there? He's not involved.
I'm not sick, oh, but he is distressed. Was you need a
unicorn in the Dungeons and Dragons movie that's recently been released? Not that unless
he was in the There is like a there's an Easter egg with the with
the cartoon cast, Like, yeah, the other party in the in the
man was the cast. But they I didn't see you need the unicorn.
They cheeped that on unit to unicorn, they had mimics and displace or a
boss. I was quite pleased. Not enough money left for a tiny horse.
I kind of missed mind players. I don't know, you guys.
I was looking forward seeing this movie, but you guys are just because there's
no bad CGI unicorn with an annoying voice watching jeremyines, Fuck you grunt.
If you go out expected that, you're going to be disappointed. No,
no, but I'm sure there's fan fiction. Do you want me to find
it for you and send it in our dark secret channel. I can manage
Rachel. I can type one handed. Thank you. Oh okay, Well,
I'm just I'm an enabler. I enable my friends. Oh that's good.
Yeah, everyone should have an enabler friends. They should, so I
have been. I've been looking at it reviews, at the Dungeons and Dragons
movie. He seems everybody's pleasantly satisfied with it, which is great good news.
I have heard somebody say it's kind of like Guardians of the Galaxy ish
in its balance of action and humor. Yeah, kind of vibe the humor
with the kind of frenetic action, and nobody takes themselves too seriously, and
then every once in a while you get an actual emotion and you don't quite
know how to handle. Yeah. I'm really glad that it is because I
didn't have a segue prepared for talking about the movie that I want to talk
about. But nowaday it's okay because it does sort of flow in. I
mean, both movies actually surpassed what people thought they would at the box office
because Guardians of the Galaxy is one of those creeper movies that didn't actually drop
like Quantum Mania did. So if we go into the whole phase five,
I have opinions. I am yeah, I think it's kind of has bucked
the trend so far for phase five. I think I'm big Guardians the Galaxy
fan, even without demand Novel universe. I think Guardians of the Galaxy is
basically the modern day Star Wars. I'm a Guardians of the Galaxy fan in
spite of the Marvel universe. Well, we all know your opinion on the
Marvel universe, but I like Guardians of the Galaxy. The Guardians of the
Galaxy is different because it always feels like if you watch almost any other Marvel
movie, it's like how many movies do you have to watch before understanding it?
Like it's always so interconnected pretty much with Guardians of the Galaxy, the
Avengers and Guardians that the Guardians Holiday Special. It's just it it's very self
contained and all three movies actually form a coherent trilogy. And as a writer,
I was very happy that it like told a story from beginning to end,
and even if these were the only things with the Guardians, it would
be okay, Yeah, I mean I'd get me wrong. I still think
like the entire structural tower that led up to end the game was masterful and
will probably never be repeated. But I do think you can just kind of
like peel off the Guardians of the Galaxy movies from that and have a grand
old time. I know, it's a volume three that did have an entire
scene where Chris Prett basically just explains what had happened in the Avengers movies,
so you don't really have to see him, you can just watch. It
has more impact, I think you do. But yeah, it was pretty
damn good exposition, which, yeah, Marvel hasn't been the best at NO
lately, No it. James Gunn clearly wants people to actually be able to
enjoy his movies, as his own movies are not just a link in the
Marvel chain link fence. Yeah, he seems weirdly invested in writing a good
movie, and now we lost him to DC. So what am I going
to have to do actually watch a Super a Man film and not start swearing?
Within twenty minutes of seeing Kevin Costner, you could still do that.
Well, he might not have Kevin Costner, then how could I swear it?
You want the theater of the mind, That is true. I do
sometimes imagine Kevin Costner when I need to get angry to write something, just
Kevin Costner's stubbornly walking into a hurricane. Yes, of like you could just
nobody would see, like, ah, don't that we are not ready for
a Man of Steel. Yeah, a good movie that we enjoyed, bucking
the trend of because I enjoyed Guardians the Galaxy despite the fact that Chris put
a puppy in a woodchipper or whatever is he did, And you know,
I forgive him for that because the movie's good, just like he didn't he
didn't put a puppy in a woodchip or he was just a bit of a
weird dick online, which is that we're weird people online. Yeah, okay,
well from the reaction, I would have assumed that he kicked a baby
into a puppy into a wood chipper. But maybe it's just been a bit
of a weird dick, all right, Okay, No, just just a
bit creepy evangelical church that hates people he supposedly goes to, so supposedly I
think, Or shall I just assume he's evil and a drowned a puppy in
Holy water? No, I haven't had any confirmation of puppy drownings. I
think rather than doing that research, I'm probably just going to stop listening people
into it. I don't think they're healthy. But yeah, he put up
a good performance despite that, personally punching Jesus Christ or whatever he did and
didn't punch Jesus. Sorry, Well again, don't let me fat check it.
I will. I will grind this has Okay, I can tell you
that much in ten seconds. I can tell you that Chris Brott has neither
drowned a puppy nor punch to Jesus Like that has been confirmed. Well,
we'll keep the lines open and LISTS would like to keep a running check on
wherever he does. I want to be the first tonight. Yeah. No,
he just posted a weird picture with his wife and was a little ablest
and a little squiaky, that's all. Was he like in a wheelchair laughing?
No? No, no, because I guess it's kid has like a
disability and his second kid with the governator's daughter does not. And and he
said, ha ha take that first kid. Not quite, but it was
more of the Okay, here's something I can comment on this Because I have
a kid with an incurable genetic condition and one kid who does not. This
just got dark. Yeah, let's get dark. You want to get dark.
There is a certain thing like I'm not gonna go to my first kid
and be like, yeah, you're awesome. Sorry, this kid, you
know, hasn't it was born with no immune system. Fuck that up.
But I got one good one. So hey, No, not quite to
that level, but just a bit quickie and a bit like talking about how
grateful you were for a healthy kid after having one who isn't is a little
bit douchy. It's something I would not do because I wouldn't want my kids
to feel like one is inferior to another, and no, one is not.
Okay, I'm saying that purposely out loud on the internet. But this
was a horrible what if because we're talking about Marvel and they have horrible what
ifs from time to time. Did that clear it up for you, Steve?
No, I've decided to fact check it. He said thanked his wife
with kim him a gorgeous, healthy daughter, and some people have interpreted that
as an indirect insult towards his previous son. Yes, that might be a
perfectly normal comment someone might make that, somebody might misinterpret. Yes, it's
one of those situational misinterpretation overreactions of Twitter. Those never happened. So this
is truly new and shocking. So I'm going to go back to saying maybe
I stopped listening to people on Twitter, or maybe Chris Pratt kicked a puppy
into a wood chipper. He's still there is no proof of wood chipper kicking.
Well again, I'm going to continue my own research into this. Now,
I'm going to hire a private detective and everything. Let me know what
you find. But speaking of animal abuse, yes, oh yeah, okay,
that was a segue. There is a lot of animal abuse in this
movie. There is. Yeah, it's got I think what might be my
favorite guard well, not Guardiance, the Galaxy villain abuse. Not a lot
of people are very distressed about it. I can see why, but it
did help set up like the most hated Marvel villain. Yes, I think
there is. Fanas may have destroyed half of all living creatures. But he
didn't, you know, take a screwdriver to a raccoon. I don't know.
I think The High Evolutionary takes it with an excellence performance by Rachel.
You want to give it, you want me to say, cheeko woogie,
Yes, nicely done. Two VARs and I don't even gonna fucking attempt it.
But he was fantastic, without a doubt, my favorite villain performance.
He really did. Like I loved him in Peacemaker and Um. Clearly he
impressed James Gunn quite a bit. Yeah, but two very different roles there.
I mean, he was in Peacemaker as kind of like the cool straight
man guy. In this he's just an unhinged, very mean person, just
a very mean guy, Chris Pratt levels of evil. No, I'm pretty
sure that that in the movie The High Evolutionary did Um probably put a puppy
in a woodchipper, like I can safely say that would be in his character.
Now, you would definitely just to find out, you know, whether
the puppy would be more efficient as confetti A yeah, a very evil man.
I don't know, it's very good. The whole well, I'm not
gonna get two hung up on the performances. Everyone was charming to all the
characters. We know and love the characters. It reminded me how great it
is when people give a shit about actually building sets and they're in something cool
and original rather than just the standard sort of CGI fill in buff. Yeah.
I thought there was just such a disconnect and difference because Okay, I'm
gonna I have to bring up quantum Mania. Between quantum Mania, which was
the first, arguably of the Phase five movies, and Guardians of the Galaxy
three, both are set in space, both have an incredibly bright color palette,
both are a bit cray cray, but somehow one of them looked cohesive
and beautiful, solid and real, and the other one looked like a video
game level out of Mario Kart that somebody barfed oil on. I still don't
watch Quantumnia, despite being an ant Man fan and liking, but it doesn't
feel like ant Man. It's like an ant Man movie that doesn't feel like
ant Man at all. They don't even have Louise. It looked like that
just the visuals did it for me. It looked like a Shark Boy versus
Lava Girl. Whoever it was that is Actually that's about the level of CG.
So how how does the same team that did that make Rocket Raccoon be
able to have a close up in the camera, a completely digital character and
not have Uncanny Valley. That to me was impressive. That's a really good
observation, Rachel, I didn't even think about that the CGI and Rocket was
so good you forgot. I forgot he didn't exist. I thought he was
real. Now I'm sad. Well, they did an amazing jobs. It's
the same as Espanos an endgame, where you could have a close up and
you could have emotion and it felt like the fur the way it moved.
But the biggest thing was the very hardest thing to do in animation is not
to have Uncanny Valley. It's why Pixar tries to not make their humans look
too human, because it allows you to be able to look at them and
not get that freak out feeling. But Rocket is quite hyper realistic, and
you still don't get that, you know, creepy, because they do literal
like super close up of his face, and because of the emotion and the
music and the way it was shot, I forgot for a few minutes that
I'm listening to Bradley Cooper talk over a radio with Sean Gunn in a mocap
suit there, and all the actors are just you know, playing it for
filth against that because he's what you just described. Seems less realistic to me
somehow than it actually being a raccoon. Yes, yeah, it was a
gorgeous movie. It was stunning. And what was weird was I was in
the theater with a lot of you know, young men and teenage boys,
and there was a lot of crying, like it was your team loses the
super Bowl or you're at the Grand Canyon levels of Ron Swanson approved crying because
single or you were allowed and into the popcorn. Correct. But yeah,
we had to pass some tissues around because I don't think the people were prepared.
I think there was a moment where Rocket Raccoon is like on the verge
of dying and Chris Pratt's really fucking I sat about, which he wouldn't be
in real life. He'd probably just stamped on it. But I did feel
that I was had a really emotional figure. Hang on, this is a
spaceman talking to his raccoon sidekick. I shouldn't. It was lovely. Yeah,
it was really intense. Though I know the scene you're talking about.
It's in the trailers, so we're not like spoiling anything. Oh yeah,
shit spoilers, Yeah, we're not boilers. Listeners. Rocket Raccoon not a
real raccoon. Yeah, listeners and me, I haven't seen this yet,
Sorry, Bevin. I did warn you there's going to be some risks to
today's episode. I know. I'll try not to do like deep plot spoilers.
This is all stuff that was in the trailers that we're discussing, and
I think it's not unfair to say people know that Rocket Raccoon is with by
Bradley Cooper and motion captured by Sean Gun and not a real raccoon on this
Well, why don't we ask Bevan about that? Bevin? How do you
feel about that? Yeah? I had a feeling it wasn't a real shit,
So we didn't spoil anything. We're cool. Oh kind of wish I
did. I was relying on I was hoping you did. Do you know
about Santa Claus yet, bevn don't ruin more things for me. I want,
I want to choose to believe that Bevin believes in magic that somehow makes
me feel better about a universe, makes me understand all this shit what happens
with my computer? Yeah, if I believe that Bevin is essentially a magical
being, it kind of writes off every single technical difficulty he's ever had,
which means I don't have to think about it. Yeah, Garden is the
Galactic Volume three. I think I could explain the entire movie in detail and
it's still be worth seeing it. It's such a gorgeous movie. Yeah,
unlike most of what we talked about, I do want to see this one.
I saw the first two and enjoyed them along. If you liked the
first two, this is a very fitting end, Like, it really does
tell the story and it's very character driven. So every writer that I know
that has seen the movie has been really happy with it because it kind of
stinks to what you want to tell in a good story as opposed to just
I mean the set pieces are there is one set piece in this film that's
like, yeah, that is awesome, but it's all about the characters.
So not only is it an awesome fight, but you feel like you know
they have plot armor somewhere in the back of your head, but you don't
know who has plot armor. Because so many of the actors said this was
their last Marvel movie. There was Yeah, there's a couple of scenes with
a couple of the characters or you four out, and I think they kind
of they did that couple. I don't think I got bored of it.
It's like two or three occasions where you're four you're going to lose a major
one at least spoiler that Bevin Ale died. Actually, yeah. And soundtrack
as usual, gorgeous. It was rocking tunes. It started with one of
my favorite songs from high school, so I was definitely suckered in. Blu
Tang Clang, Ain't nothing to fuck with No mine was Creep by Radiohead all
right, Okay, I didn't remember that one from the movie. Yeah,
they did the acoustic version. That was the opening song, which James Gunn
never like picks a song on accident. You know, you've got the Flaming
Lips, You've got Laurence and the Machine. There was a lot of dark
music in there. It was good. It was a lot I heard.
I heard the Beasty Boys made it. They did. Yeah, yep,
the Beasty Boys didn't make it. It was quite good, right, So
it was a fun time. And the Guardians of the Galaxy they say they're
going to keep on doing things, but James Gunn is out. I don't
know if I'm that interesting seeing more Guardians of the Galaxy forty minutes specials on
Netflix. I like the Christmas special. It's fine, but not that invested.
Speaking of not being that invested, Rachel, you've got some opinions on
Phase five. How are you feeling about it? It's very uneven. Um.
It has one really really good movie and one movie that the more I
think, like the only honest opinion I could give coming out of the theater
was that was a movie. Yeah, I mean that's one I saw was
Doctor Strange two, which had fun bits because Sam Ray, but overall was
is a big old mess. Yeah. Um, that's Phase four. So
of Phase four, Yeah, that's the first movie of Phase five is Quantum
Mania and the second US and Dragons coming to the Marvel Universe. Um,
as soon as they can get Chris Pines so that they complete their Infinity Gauntlet
of Chris's and then they will rule the galaxy. Chrisfinity gone, then it
is the Chrisfinity Gauntlet. They have most of them. That might be the
secret to ruling the Certainly the media Galaxy might have a point there anyway,
just being a prey carry on. But if you're talking about Phase four,
Phase four was also really uneven. It had Spider Man no Way Home,
which was again kind of a mess, but rescued by some very cool bits.
Yeah, it was. It was overall good. Yes, it's definitely
better seeing it in the theater with because it's got pauses built in for the
cheering. Yeah, that one was quite good. I love Sam Ramie,
so I did enjoy Multiverse of Madness. Mess aside, I liked two thirds
of shang Chi. It had a toilet flushing cgi fest of a finale,
which frustrated me. I wanted to like Waconda Forever, and I liked a
lot of parts of Waconda Forever. But you could so tell that the writer
and director was struck by grief. He had he had a story already written,
he could not tell the story he wanted because of tragedy, and the
recovery process was messy. So yeah, I mean, it seems like it
should have been a case of if it was purely empirical recast the actor.
I don't think that was an option. I don't think people would have No,
I don't think the cast even like he was quite beloved. I did
get to see some of the filming of Waconda Forever because it was in my
my town house. Oh no, it wasn't a house. It was it
was right by my my husband's work. It was between Waconda Forever. It
could have been filmed in your house. I don't know. Yeah, it
was totally filmed in my house. Um cool, if you if you actually
watch what kind of Forever? Though, it's like you can just imagine that's
a street where I used to walk every day to pick up British accent from
a donut shop. Like so it's also the same street that's some kind of
drug code. No, give me a die bag of British accent. No,
British Accent is the nickname for my husband always see. Yes, well
that makes more sense because he doesn't just as much sense being you online.
So I just call him. You call him donut shop. No, donut
shop is where British accent worked. Now he worked at the Starbucks because you
can sell drugs more efficiently that. Of course, yes, I'm sure he
would love excellent cool. So yeah, I got me. I didn't see
you were kind of forever. I didn't really like the look of it,
and it just had that kind of It had an absolutely gorgeous villain. I
mean, he cannot Querta is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful man. Um.
We were all trying not to argle. But he was in tiny short
on screen any more. In fact, if anything, the film name or
was way more dressed than comic book name that is. Yeah, it's it
is a comic book accurate costume as far as the tightness. But no,
I mean he was actually good in the movie, but there was so much
like it suffered from the worst parts of Marvel where they try to shoe in
like fourteen other lead ins to other stories. That's why Guardians from the Galaxy
is so successful because pretty much Guardians of the Galaxy, like the post credit
theme just talk about the Guardians or are a funny joke payoff, or they're
just sort of all cohesive. Yeah. I remember at the end of Ducks
Strange too, there's like an end of credit scene where like somebody just steps
through a port and goes, it's me. That's clear, like, okay,
I don't give a shit. I don't know who that is. It's
just some woman's come out of pool. And then like he has is eyeboner
opens up and I don't know, I don't know what the significance it is
and I don't care. Yeah, you'd have to fall. It's not quite
as bad as seeing horrible cgi piped patrol in uh Eternals. Oh Eternals was
also in Phase four that that was a movie that that goes in my quantum
mania. That was a movie pile m. I know, I'm not even
sure if it was. It was, it was a movie. I think.
I think as we go into the few people will be less certain that
it was a movie, and it might just fade from all human memory quite
quickly. It was just one of those things that would have been so much
better as a Disney Plus series. I'll say a phase for the Disney Plus
series overall were more cohesive and enjoyable than the movies. Yeah. I wonder
if that was some sort of juggling act on those because of COVID. I
wonder if there's things that were supposed to be movies and things that were supposed
to be series and they just kind of I mean, Loki was quite good.
Hawkeye Hawkeye was the shock because that was the one I'm like, this
is going to be at No, it's actually enjoyable. There's not a single
Marvel series on Disney that couldn't have benefited from being I think half as long.
I don't know. Loki was probably the tightest of them. But yeah,
but even that, I thought it was a bit toppy Toski talk talkie
talkie, but I like talkie talkie and I like watching Tom Hittleston. But
we're going into a lot of things for it's a It was a I think
after having such a big, strong narrative arc leading up to the Infinity saga,
when you had Infinity War an endgame that were such a good culmination,
it was so well set up. I think this was sort of the messy
afterwards side story, trying to throw spaghetti at the wall and what things stick.
I mean, there's all the Black Widow in there, which seemed kind
of unnecessary. We needed it. What we needed was a Black Widow movie
before endgame. It should have been before Civil War. Honestly, I would
have accepted a flashback movie between Civil we had Captain Marvel, we had a
flashback movie between Infinity War and Endgame. I'm saying it was a wrong one
rage That's fine. I actually like Captain Marvel more in rewatching it. It
holds up better than some of the others. It still has lame villain syndrome
no offense Jube law, but you were a lame villain. Well, it
seems he seemed like a really low stakes villain. Yeah, he just there.
There's the Marvel universe has a villain problem, which another thing Guardians of
the Galaxy is the one that doesn't because most of the drama is actually the
inner personal conflict, so it doesn't case of the you know, high evolutionary
that he was. He was super de duper strong. I can't say anymore
because Bevin hasn't seen it and I don't want to spoil, but there was
a lot to him. Not a nice guy, yeah, not a nice
guy. Um. Ego was pretty good too. I mean, Kurt Russell
was a delight as a just scuzzy deadbeat dad who's also a planet. Yeah,
that was good. I fought like Ego to living Planet fought. There's
some fucking deep dive Marvel Trivia for three. Yeah, I was. I
was happy because they even had like the cover, you know, the stereotypical
shot where you can sort of see the grin and the eyes on the topography
of the planet when they panned out to it. Yeah, it was fun,
it was clever. You know what, if there was just a phase
of Marvel that was just mostly Guardians of the Galaxy movies, I'd take that,
but I appreciate I'm not kind of like an overblowing their load. I
suppose maybe they're the reason why the Guardians movies are the best is of all
of them, none of them were rushed. I mean, yes, part
of it was because James Gunn was fired due to Twitter another reason to hate
it and had to come back, and then COVID happened, So the movie
script for Guardians of Galaxy three was written before Avengers Infinity War was finished.
Yeah, I did feel like they had to. Like again, that Chris
Pratt exposition was kind of like we had a movie. Then all the fucking
endgame happened because I made a bad joke on Twitter twenty years ago, and
that is enough to derail rich and powerful people. For reasons I still don't
instead, but yeah, yeah that makes sense. It was always planned to
be rocket story for the third one. Mm. Yeah, it's cool.
I guess my moral takeaway from it is I can't wait for that weird South
African guide to destroy to her. I think it'll be good for movies,
be good for me. Okay, I'm trying to try and trying to leave
her in a destroying tis segue into the next segment, speaking of Chris Pratt
ruining things the Mario movie Mario movie. No, he doesn't. I know,
it's why. It's why I've got Rachel. I'm so sorry I'm ruining.
Do you want me to go back to you? You are to Chris
perhaps segues yeah, I lost my cool and made you have to work for
it. Well, I refuse to do any more effort. Into that segue
as far as I'm concerned, it's done. We're now talking about to marry
A movie, Bevin. Have you seen the marry A movie? No,
but I would like to Why have you not seen it if you got something
against Italians? Because well there's that. But also I m you know,
I just haven't gotten around to me yet. This I told you. I
saw the Dungeons and Dragons movie, the last movie I saw it before that
was like, I don't know, five years ago or something. You're right,
you've seen a movie in a movie? Did ask more of you this
financial quarter? That's true. I was. I did my part. Rachel
lay out the marry A movie. How did you feel about it? Um?
I am planned on seeing it next week. Oh my god, you
guys haven't seen the Marry A movie. I've had a bunch of people tell
me about it. So about Mario's in it? Yeah, it is the
most Mario movie. I'll tell you what if you ever just kind of like
just had a hangover and watched your kids play Mario related video games for about
five hours, but you're kind of half asleep, and then you just kind
of remember it in flashes because it's a really bad hangover. That's kind of
how the movie structured. It's just like they've squeezed all the Mario into a
movie. Some dialogue happens, but it's very much cookie cutter kind of how
easily can we translate this into two hundred languages kind of dialogue? And it
is just an excellent receptacle of just getting as much Mario into an experience as
possible, and I think that's really all it needs to be. I think
that's what I want out of a Mario movie. That is what I want
out of Mario. Nobody plays the Mario games for the story. That's like
playing a Zelda game for the story. Let's be real. We play it
for the adventure and the mechanics. Yeah, I just like a walking around
with a knife hurting animals. But I don't want to bring up the D
and D movie again because it's the only movie I've seen. But I think
there are comparisons to be made there because there was this recent iteration and then
there was the one from the like two thousand ears same with Mario, which
was garbage. The original Mario is one of my all time guilty pleasures.
Oh my god, there's a few people got his guilty pleasures. I understand
liking it if you like, if you want to watch a weird movie and
you're a bit high and do you want an existential I've watched it stone cold
sober. The last time I did that was for at the Movies and an
experience so cursed. The recording broke and I don't think you can find that.
I think you can find it on a patron But it's very broken.
I think Rick's commentary like dips in and out because the movie is cursed,
not because of anything to do with my competence. It has done us Hopper
and John Leguizamo. It thought that curse. Yeah that no, that does.
They were cursed. That's who apparently spend the entire experience getting wasted with
Luigi. Yeah that was no, not the actor actual Luigi. I think
that's how they got through it. Yeah, an odd choice, but it
was the first video game movie. I mean, what are you going to
do? It almost became the last video game movie you've played, like Super
Mario Brothers one or two. It's something. It's like, yeah, we
need to make a movie out, like what how do I explain any of
the ship that's going on here? And the secret of the most current Marrier
movie is they don't try to explain anything. You just give to people what
they want. If they start asking questions, you say wrong movie Fuco,
and you send them next door to the Sonic the Headshock movie. So I
think they've sold video game movies now. It's been a rocky road well,
I think Last of Us did the first like prestige art house video game adaptation.
Yeah, but that's a pretty easy one to adapt, isn't it.
It's like the Silent Hill movie. No. I think Silent Hill movies probably
in between, because that's still very much a video game at the time,
where it was a pretty good adaptation into a moody horror resident evil. I
would say it was lesser successful. They had later iterations in that that tried
to be more like the video game but became lesser movies where a Silent Hill
stuck a good balance of being liked the video game but also a comprehensive,
atmospheric, well made movie. But now they're just saying, let's just put
the video game on the screen, and that seems to be working for people,
where be to Marrier movie or the Last of Us Zelda could be a
good mix, like just whacking stuff and have a story. I don't know,
man, Link's been around for about thirty years now, and all he's
ever said it is, ah, yeah, that would be a weird thing,
Like how would you give him dialogue in the movie? Link is like,
no, I don't want him to have Link is a stone cold,
fearless psychopath segue. We're going to talk about Tears at Kingdom, of which
I have played five minutes, or which I've watched five minutes of being played
at my sisters and immediately bought the game. It is amazing. Saw a
cast code today, but I did not buy a card. I just want
to explain the whole psychopath thing. Within the first like ten minutes of gameplay,
you get to a jumping platform where Link is about a hundred feet in
the air and there's nothing blown but deaf, and he just you put him
off the edge and he jumps. He doesn't even scream. He's just like,
I don't give a shit what happens to me. I am a fucking
sociopath. At this point, I might have gotten a slightly different reading off
of him, but that's the gist of it. Not all he's dead for
thirty years is angry screaming. The man's an invincible, insatiable murderer. That's
why I like him. I think he might just be mute. No,
I just think he's angry. Well, I mean, every time he rescues
the princess, she gets kidnapped again, and I'm starting to think she might
be having an affair with Gannon. I mean, he is pretty swoll in
this movie, it's or video game. He keeps getting a little bit swall.
He's got a very good evil vibe. But he's a ginger. So
yeah, then he has no soul. He swoll without soul. That's why
he wants to try force to make him not ginger. Well, no,
so he can have because I can be ginger an have a soul. Is
that really the power of the try first? I think that might be just
too far. Well, that's what was in Marcellas Wallace's briefcase ainger Sell.
So you say, you say that the triforce can create an entire parallel dimension
of darkness and light, but it cannot give a single ginger man of soul
that is beyond its paller. Maybe well, yeah, that makes a lot
of sense. Anyway, everyone's favorite psychopath is back. It's late zero hero.
It's what I think this game gives you more opportunity to be a psychopath
than it does with all the building stuff, Like I've discovered rockets and spikes.
I have into put rockets on your arrows and shoot them that bad guys
and beat them explode. It's wonderful. Oh it's it's beyond the pale awesome,
the the exploding rocket. There's also like a Gotcha machine where you can
just like put in a ZONEI charge and it will give you random components.
I mean you it's like Minecraft levels of being able to build shit. You
can make like flying cars, you can make mine carts that go on tracks
like you're at Disney. And I think if Link was capable of making a
happy noise. He makes happy noises. He actually when he's cooking, he
sings little Zelda tunes. It's like, oh my god. Yeah, when
you do the cooking, he will he will make he will sing previous Zelda
and make happy noises when the food comes out. Because the way to a
hero's heart is through his stomach. He doesn't just scream at a food then,
No, he does not just scream at the food. I'm not sure
of I'm happy would just break from character. Actually just try it. Just
go to a cook pot, throw in like four apples and a spicy pepper
so that you can climb up into the cold areas, because apparently one hot
pepper is enough to save you from frostbite in the Zelda Verse. Probably not
the least realistic thing in the game. Probably not Ginger's having souls. We've
already established. We've already established that. I mean, you can get a
rubber suit for Link in this game. I've already gotten a piece of it.
Finally, gimp suit. I haven't seen the helmet to confirm if it's
a gimp suit, but he does have rubber armor. Let's just get bull
cage in him. Because there's all these fucking electric like likes that want to
eat you and they suck. They take your armor and your weapons, and
yeah, armor and weapon or the weapons break even faster in this game,
so be prepared for a lot of sting. There's even an in universe explanation.
They want me to drop out of society for six months. Is that
the explanation? Um? Possibly? Or that or the decay that spread from
high Rollcastle has made all weapons like rotten to the core. Oh man,
you know what I started again. I watched five minutes this game. I
immediately bought it. When the first upgrade they give you is like, you
have the power to play Legos with everything, Yeah, viral, you basically
get Lego powers. I was like, as soon as I saw us,
I can't. I can't play this game. I've bought it, but I
think I'm going to just say, like, the kids can play it and
I can watch. Now we're back to Chris Pratt. That's what he really
did to get banned off Twitter. He won't play his own video games.
He makes his kids do it. I'm sure I don't want to have to
talk about the Lego Oh yeah, he wasn't the Lego movie, wasn't he
We mocked Chris Pratt, But how many billions of dollars has his movies made?
I mean, the Jif Park movies were horrible, the New Ones,
but they made billions. With a Bee Mario made a billion. Guardians of
the Galaxies made half a billion in two weeks. It's made more than than
Quantum Mania made. And it's an entire run in two weeks. Well that's
a good movie. They could have got anyone to voice the Mario cass To
be fair, I think we were saying about this. I was a bit
dubious about all of them. They were okay, Jack black Bet, and
I expected that kind of worked for what they were doing with a character.
But the rest of them It's like you could you could have swapped even Charlie
Day, you could have swapped out Luigi with anyone. It would have been
fine. But it was fine. They did the ridiculous Mario voice at the
beginning, just to give us a taste in it. I still thinking,
Yeah, I don't know. It's like, I think they should commit to
that and just did it for the entire movie. But I don't know if
that would have been insufferable. And I'm pretty sure, just knowing experiments I've
done with my own children of annoying them, you can last for about five
minutes of a Mario voice before you're sick of it. I can last for
about five minutes full stop. But yeah, that sounds reasonable. Again,
I think that's why there's not a legend as the movie, like just link
just screaming in people's faces too, even that just making a happy noise after
he's just been violently screaming. I mean, no one's going to feel safe.
Conan the Barbarian doesn't. He has only ten minutes of dialogue in the
whole movie. Nobody trusted his accent back then. Maybe that's not just we
just need to make a link A six foot six Olympian bodybuilder. No,
that's not right. I want Charlie Day's link, and I still I don't
want him to say much. I just want him to do screaming. Knowing
our luck, we'd we'd just get Chris Pratt as link, because apparently who
you cast in everything? That'd be great if it was animated and they got
Chris Bratt to do the voice over and he didn't actually say anything, it's
just it's just the grunts of Chris Pratt. Yeah, that worked for group.
I do wonder though, with James Gunn going over to DC, because
a lot of the actors he works with just love working with him. If
any of the Marvel actors are going to hop over like Michael Rooker did in
the Suicide Squad. Yeah, they all stick stuck up for him during his
Twitter unpleasantness, which I appreciated. Yeah, all of them did, because
maybe a person changed in twelve years after some stupid tweets that they did for
shock value and apology. Yeah, or maybe if you know you're like you're
a comedy right in working from Troma, You're going to tweet some dicey,
stupid shit and we can just maybe accept that. No, no, whatever
you say, you must be tortured forever. There is no forgiveness ever.
Not in speaking of no forgiveness forever, Rachel, how you get an on
with Tiers of the Kingdom? Should I start playing this? Is it going
to destroy my life? You should start playing it. Be prepared to swear
profusely in the shrines, just as in Breadth of the Wild, there are
some of them that are evil, and the interface is not the most intuitive.
We ended up actually getting one of the controllers that kind of looks like
an old looks like kind of a chunky PlayStation controller, the Pro controller.
Yeah, the Pro controller, because you cannot play it on the switch,
Like it's really hard and it's just the number of times you're gonna get yourself
killed by accidentally whistling for your horse instead of using a horse. No,
No, it's just that the whistle attracts all the enemies to you in the
area. And this is not a game where you can actually like in the
because the weapons break so easily and they're so weak, like you really have
to use the mechanics. It does not a get a big sword be invincible,
because even if you have a really big powerful one. It's going to
break in like three minutes. I know. I mean Breath in a While
is really expensive and immersive. But it were a little bit full of things,
like because they're like there's one hundred and fifty dungeons, but a nice
little dungeons they are, I will say these shrines are nice little shrines.
They're not well apparently they're bringing back big dungeons. They do have a few.
I haven't gotten to any of the temples yet, which is the big
one, Like the tutorial is five fucking hours. Yeah, they have to
teach the mechanics or there's a lot of mechanics. There's a lot of building,
and you know, there's almost every fight you can you can either try
to fight it if you're really good, or you can sink your way around
and out it because almost everything, at least in the open world is bypassable.
Like you see a whole bunch of you see a whole bunch of moms,
you can build a flying car and fly over them and sneak past them.
That I like that about Breath of the Wild, that you'd say,
oh no, there's a big group of enemies down there. I'll just roll
a boulder onto them. Yes, you can still do that. You can
roll the boulder reverse time and roll the boulder over them again. Just a
really ruined that day. Some of them take more than one boulder. I'm
not kidding, Like seriously, there's this one place where they roll a big
spiked ball and you can roll it over and over again. It takes a
few hits, and then you can take that weapon and fuse it to your
stick and then take the ball and smack them over the head with it.
Nice is very nice. It seems like it's it's really leaned into the facts
that made the first game even more playable than it would have been if you
were just following me. The completion is ship doing the shrines and stuff and
I don't know, so dangerous and what a time to if they've released it
just before summer. But it might be nice to go outside. Yeah,
but it's hot and sticky and there's mosquitoes. So this is an alternative to
that. No, I mean it really, we joke. It's like,
oh, Eurogamer only gave it a four point five out of five, but
it's a really good game. The fact that it runs so well on an
almost ten year old system that wasn't even the best. I mean, it's
a system that's les. Yeah, they kind of like every console they've done
recently has been some itteration of novelty, which is either quietly went away or
kind of changed away. We think about gaming, which is cool, but
the Switch doesn't really have the muscle I guess to run this. I've noticed
that, like if you got on top of a tree drop and look around,
it slows down a little bit. There's a little bit, but overall
it's not a lot of crash. It's not like what Redfall, that was
an abject disaster that microsopt could not afford but got anyway. It's not like
Pokemon Scarlet and Violet, where random crashing or accidentally opening the wrong postcard would
delete your account. Yeah that happened. Um. I have luckily completed my
Poket X and Pokemon though I am that level of nerd that is lucky.
But it's it's no, it's solid because it's a kind of game. The
best thing about it is it's the sort of game you can either lose yourself
in for hours or you can just play a little bit and put it down.
Because you're not like, oh, my god, is there going to
be a twenty minute cut scene. I've said this about every single Zelda game
there's ever been, because it's not like a massive graphical step up putting Breath
of a Wild and this, But no, it's it's almost identical to ye
I went back to I played a Link to the Past with my daughter,
and it's like, if they if they just double decided this size of this
game, I'd play it all for again. They just like released a little
patch for it even it was all just still sixteen bit graphics said the game
is now a third bigger. There's light world, dark world, and slightly
dim world. I'd play all the way for it again. And it's been
like that with every single Zelda game. So when Breath or Well I finished
that, I just thought, you know, if they could just release another
Breath of the Wild, which is pretty much what they've done, It's Breath
of the Wild pluck lego. Yeah, it's a mature's mask of the switch
generation, and I'm all here for it. No, no time dilated in
our time loops, which were kind of fun. But is it infused with
an implacable sense of melancholy? Yes, there's a there's a lot of melancholy.
Yeah, like that about Mature's mask. I like to beat the shaft
of an animal and then think about death for a bit. This is I
think you're projecting onto Chris Pratt. Now that is my official theory. Chris
Pratt as link. Watch him beat the shat of an animal, unless it's
a chicken, because they will buck you up. In Zelda, do not
pack the chickens. I'm glad they've been consistent with that, with chicken being
the most lethal animal in the legend. Oh there's a whole pen of them
right towards the beginning, and we knew better. We're like, oh no,
no, no, you will not fool us again. No, no,
no, listen about that. No, I see a chicken, I
run giant mob, bigger than me. I might give it a go,
but a chicken, Nope, chicken at it again a link to the past.
It's like, oh no, look at this tough patties still not as
tough as a chicken. Never a hornet. Oh they have they they do
have. You can get hornets nests. But I'm still looking to how to
make a net. That was always fun, just using a bow to drop
a hornet's nest on a bunch of moblins. They are they are weak.
They actually do say in the Companion they are weak against hornets. Well,
if you drop a hornet's nest on someone, they're gonna be a weak against
hornets. That's not like a failing. I'm weak against hornets. It was
funny. I actually was in a walk in the park and a hornet went
up my pants and decided to sting me in a very uncomfortable place. Because
you're weak against hornets. I'm weak against hornets, clearly, But there's nothing
worse than having to you drop your pants in a public park because you have
a hornet in a very uncomfortable place that you have to get out. I
tried that. No one believed the hornet's story, right short. I was
fine until the jogger came by. Steve. The secret is always keep a
dead hornet is your secret. If you want to drop your pants at a
public park, keep a dead hornet with you. Well, I'm like to
think we've all len sement today. From the Legend of Zelda. The last
one I played was ok Arena of Time. Oh that's great, you haven't
played the Joy's Mask now it's Okarina of Time, but a lot more palpable
melancholy that melancholy, don't you Sometimes I just latch onto a phrase. It's
okay, I think it's awesome. Palpable. It's not going to be the
name of this side question runch band. No, all right, Yes,
Chris Pratt's palpable melancholy, Professor Chris perhaps palpable melancholy, puppy kicking machine that
sounds like a horrible Wes Anderson movie. Goner, Marvel phase six. I'm
looking forward to Marvel Phase six. I don't know. I think I might
be done with Marvel movies now. I think I might be done with everything
because I'm just going to play Tears at a Kingdom. Yeah you might skeleton.
You might be lost to that. Yeah? Probably. Oh well,
maybe i'll stream it. Maybe I'll stream my dropping out of society, sitting
there eating take away cold pizza while I learn how to cook imaginary food,
traversing the rolling hill and dale in the Zelda world, while the landscape resides
just outside my window. I don't know. Maybe this is like an ironic
art piece I can do. Or you could just take your switch outside and
enjoy a beautiful landscape in a beautiful landscape. No, but that would be
ironic. It would. But again, I think I'm just going. I
think I've said the phrase palpable melancholy too many times and it's affected the entire
tone of this podcast. I don't know. Do you feel palpable melancholy?
Bevvin? Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, we have. We have
been infected with the palpable melancholy. All right, Benn, we've talked about
a lot of media. We talked about a lot of melancholy. What are
you looking forward to see? Do you think you'll see your Guardians the Galacty
Bobin Free? Absolutely? Do you think you'll see the Super Mario Brothers movie.
Yes. Do you think you'll play Breath of the Well? No,
Breath of a While too. It's not called that Tears of the Kingdom watch
my Son Boy. Yeah, I think that's the safest way to do it.
I think I'll do that too. I mean most of the jumpy stuff
I let British accent play. I do the puzzles. We sort of spread
the labor. Teamwork is how we get it done in this house. Do
you think you'd watched Chris Pratt kick a puppy to death. No, absolutely,
because I'm a passivist. I hate it. I was one of the
people deeply wounded by Guardians of the Galaxy. But I'm lucky it was puppy.
It's not a real one. I don't want to be CGI puppy well
get hurt. I don't want to see any puppies get hurt, says the
person who put kittens in a blender in her books. But I'm glad you
added. I'm usually a pacifist set for that one time in fake Kittens movie
Bad Day Day. Okay, well, you know what, I watched a
movie I left the house. It was good. I'm looking forward to Dungeons
and Dragons. I'm going to watch that as soon as it streams in the
UK. Yeah, which I hope they did that before I start playing this
game or you know, you've lost me and podcast listeners if I should disappear
for six months. He's feeling palpable melancholy while playing the wherever I'm living because
the neighbors have not notice the smell yet. So thank you in advance for
your assistance in that matter. Okay, I have to I have to play
the hell out of this game, because next month the game i'm looking forward
to comes out. Oh yes, Final Fantasy sixteen. Oh, I don't
know. I stopped paying attention to after it was like, not turn based
sprites anymore? Is it still going? It is still going, and it's
going to be an action RPG done by the same fight coordinator as Devil May
Cry. Oh my god, Yeah, it looked pretty six Devil May Christ
yea six Devil make Christ. Yeah, I'm all about the term bas sprites
as well. Yeah. Final Fantasy sevens where I stopped to see that the
finan seven hour cut scenes. So I think it just it's a general.
That was the last one I played. If I want to watch extremely effeminate
Asian men hang out, I would just watch K Pop. That's fine,
you can like both Kpop and Final Fantasy. It's not I'm a busy man,
Rachel. Okay, fine, back to your melancholy. I shall see.
I did that yesterday. Yeah, I went for you know that took
the family out for Korean fried chicken, and on all the monitors there there
was, it was just K pop everywhere. So did you look at those
people and say, I wish I could see them in a turn based combat
scenario. No, I said, I'm really hungry. I wish they'd bring
the chicken out, because Korean fried chicken isn't absolute good. I think we
can all agree on that by family responses worth the weight. Did you imagine
the chefs in the kitchen as sprites in a turn based combat scene? Are
you? Oh? No? But I will next time. I guess I
will too, anything, because now all I want is freaking Korean fried chicken.
Thanks Bevan, Actually no, seriously, thanks, I'm gonna make some.
That's a great idea. And if you're listening at home, feel free
to make your own Korean fried chicken. I can't stop you. It's really
good. If you haven't watched their nose Maybes, why do you go and
watch him leave the house, they're also really good. Or if you don't
want to leave the house by teased Kingdom and we'll never see you again?
Probably not, but if we do, we'll see you next time on whatever
it is we're doing. Goodbye. Also, and Dragons brought to you under
Creative Commons license, meaning you were free to share this material so long as
credit is given to those who created it, which is us people you just
heard to play The game opening and closing themes performed by the gore Core four
thes A Drag