Let us door him cry christ Lord. Oh, and you know what Elsiah
door was Candy Mary Christmas and welcome to Candy Chan y'all. I'm Betty Ebersaw
and I'm Tabitha Hutchinson. And how do y'all marry? Christmas? Is absolutely
there's two things that are the reason for the season. First, Andy and
Jesus. Right, did I get him? I was gonna put him in
an alternate order? But you know what that's between you and our judge being
father. Well, I'll tell you what. I was just gonna say,
no particular order. You are so sweet. I almost said Jesus and Jesus.
Well, you know how many times we've said it. There are three
candy holidays on my calendar that really count, two of which are Most High
and Holy and one of which is the spawn seed of Satan. Well,
two sides to the same coin, am I right? Well? Right,
it's two sided and one sided, so I don't it's a triangular coin.
And you know tree heads of Cerebrus, and you know three is like holy
Trinity. So I think we're okay. Plus I don't like ghosts. I
think that's kind of spooky anyway, agreed, well, let's just get to
the ghosts of Christmas present then, And by presents, I mean candy.
Oh my goodness, Oh, Betty, Betty, what do we have this
week? Oh my goodness. It was a tough choice because, as you
know as well as I, every shelf in the town is covered covered with
Cristy's candy. I know every shelf in the town. So I tried to
get just an interesting collection of candies that maybe people aren't familiar with. Like,
what, well, you've heard of candy canes, right, well,
I don't think there's anybody alive who hadn't heard a candy cane. Well,
I've got some candy canes right here. You might notice that they're a little
more colorful than the usual red and marble box. That's right. It's because
these candy canes were made by There's Spree candy Canes free, that's right,
probably Willie Wonka. Well, I hope I went a golden ticket of taste
on this one. Me too. They should be a fruit flavored spectacular time.
Now there's a little tiny tag on the box that tells me is it
a coupon? No? Sometimes you can go through the line and you just
rip them off right there and say, you know, wouldn't that be sweet,
like a dollar off or something. No, this one just says holiday
greetings to you from it won't cam sell. That's so sweet. And there's
a little arrow and it's like a it's like, um, it's like one
of those um um no no in a textbook when they're like, this is
what the inside of a frog looks like. Well, I don't look too
closely because I have a weak's stomach for that. But this one, it's
like a cross section of a candy cane and there's an arrow pointing and it
says flavor kick. So I think there's an extra treat waiting for you if
you just suck this all the way to the center. That sounds violent.
Well, I don't know, I don't know. You know, they're trying
to appeal to those video gamers. Oh, you know, most of the
time. I don't like violence. I think it's gonna be like next year,
a shotgun blast of delicious Christmas to your face. I know that's where
it's going. It's Going's how it's going. It's going. Let's see moving
on now here is a veteran of many a Christmas candy fight Russell Stover,
Oh, Russell Stover. You know, my mom used to get Russell Stover's
down to five and dimes, I'm used to. She used to bring home
a box and we'd open it up and then we'd try to guess what flavors
are which, and then whoever got the flavor right, they'd get another one
right. And see, that's a brilliant that's a brilliant plan. And here
we are in the year twenty thirteen, and I think I've done a statistical
analysis, because remember I went to junior college for two years, that seventeen
of athorted chocolates include a map. Wow, seventeen percent. It is a
tragedy. Why why don't they just taken I guess it'd make the candy more
expensive? Of course, you know it's getting more expensive every year. Well
what's more expensive biting into the orange one? Because you know what's in there.
It's like a landmine for your damn mouth. They're now I'm mad about
it. Oh oh oh, Patty, Patty calmed down. It's I'm just
say it's okay, you know what, so curious I'll eat the orange ones.
It's okay. Well, that's my whole point. That's my whole point.
You don't know tell it's in your mouth and you think I'm taking a
bite of a candy. It goes in. It just goes in. It's
not coming back out. No, it's one way ticket. Feel like I
have to pay I have to pay angry tax on every box of assorted chocolate.
They'll they'll do that, They'll put that on that receipt. If you
pull out your receipt, you'll have like angry tax and sitting munipicible tax,
and you'll have like alcoholics anonymous tax, and you'll have like bottled water tax.
You know what. My neighbor's my neighbor, my neighbor's nephew. He's
on the computers all the time. I'm gonna have him look up in his
gurgle Russell Stover, and I'm gonna send him a message, and that message
is help. You know what, Well, you have to do it on
the computers nowadays. Every day they don't take real mail, No, they
sure don't. I went to the post office and they were saying, no
more post on Saturdays, no more post on Saturdays. And what am I
gonna do with all these liberty bill stamps. Oh my goodness, what am
I gonna do with these liberty bills? To nightmare that I can't get into
right now because it's Chris Mass. No, we shouldn't be talking in that
made goodness. We forget ourselves sometimes. Russell, if you're listening, I
ain't mad. I know you've got a lot of pressure on you too.
So what we're gonna do is move on to your coconut wreaths. Now,
this is coconut covered in milk, chocolate farmed into a festive wreath. I
am dreading this. Oh are you not a coconut fan? If there's one
thing I don't like in candy, it's coconut. Whoops the daisy? Oh
no, But you know what I'll sally forth. You are a I will
I will ride all wrongs if I have to. I'll be like I'll be
like the woman of La Mancha. You're like a winter soldier. I'll ride
my steed into a wind meal made of coconut covered in chocolate if I have
to. That's what I'll do. That is beautiful. You'll dream the impossible
dream. Coodn't see see No, that's something I couldn't have thought of.
Yeah, I would have if i'd have gone to junior college. But I
can't do it. I just couldn't do it. Moving on from there,
let's move on. What about our friends and pen Sylvinia at hersheis, Oh
goodness, have you been? Oh, i's my dream. It's my dream.
Someday I'm gonna win one of those scratchers. And that's where I'm headed,
Betty. I was there once it was closed, so I ate at
the red Robin outside there. Good, it was good, it was good,
but I was disappointed. Well, I don't I would be sobbing into
my endless fries. Yeah, the experience was red Robin. Oh, oh
that is funny and sad. Well, here's something that's festive and fun.
Hershey's makes a candy cane chocolate bar. He shot up. It is white
mint chocolate with candy bits. This makes up for coconut wreaths any day,
any day. So excited and finally, now I hate to keep banging on
the same old drum or beating the old dead horse. Well, you bought
them, so you might as well. We set it before, we set
it again, and now we're saying it again. What shows up at Easter
is gonna show up all year long. And guess what's making a play for
Christmas? Cadberry cream eggs? Wrong, Thank Jesus that someone somewhere is holding
back the tide on their wicked advance through our chocolate kingdom. Guess again,
starbursts, Jellies. Oh, I don't even like thinking about them, and
I don't like their perverse agenda when it comes to holiday treatments. And thank
thank you Jesus again that there is no place for jellybeans, jellybellies or smelly
bellies, since I sometimes call them in the joyous celebration of the Lord,
our God's birth, I get weird looks when I open my purse. Sometimes
you sure do now what we've got here? What is it? I've guessed
wrong? Twice? Peeps, Oh, shouldn't know? A little marshmallow friends
have shown up at Christmas, and this time they're adorable, little snow man.
Why do they make it things that you want to eat and real life?
Well, it's that's the whole thing. They've got a thousand people that
all went to some sort of super college and they all just getting inside your
head and watching the TV shows you watch, and knowing exactly what you want
to think, and they're gonna tell you exactly what to do. And what
they want you to do is to buy their products. So guess what.
They already know what you want to eat, So you know what they're gonna
have chicken McNugget peeps, entire bowl of macaroni and cheese peeps that you imagine
personal pan pizza peeps. Oh, that's that's the future. Can I have
one more bag of day old bagels that they left outside for homeless people?
Peeps? I don't want to eat them. I eat them all the time.
Oh they're free. I'm on a budget. So snowman peeps, snowman
peeps. So let's just dive into this. Let's let's let's just get the
tough work out of the way right off the bat. So let's start with
the coconut reeves. Oh, thank you and thank you. Oh here's one
for you. You know what's funny is what? Because I liked I like
the Samoa's, can't hear you? I like the girls Scouts Samoa's and that's
all that's chop full of coconuts. But it's good. Mm. I don't
know. I think Carmel's to the rescue in that one too. Carmel is
the white Knight, it's the brown Knight. It's not the candy you wanted,
but it's the candy you're getting. Now. I'm gonna tell you right
now, now that we've unpackaged these things. Now, I don't know where
your reeds look like my mind have a hole in. Well, mine don't
looks like this. It looks like a cow pie from your uncle's farm.
But it smells like chocolates, so I'm gonna trust it, all right,
shall we go? Let's do it? Here we go. Hmmmm, it's
crispy coconut. It's less coconut than I thought. M m mmmmmm. It's
like somebody took nessa crunch bar m and just accidentally knocked over some of the
coconut that was sitting next to it. Sprinkles. It certainly is a mouthful.
This is delightfully tolerable. Well, i'll tell you what. It's a
Christmas miracle. This and suppressed my expectations. I'm pleasantly surprised. And I've
always loved coconut, so I consider this old winner. However, what a
treat. I hate to be a stickler, but I have to remove justice
to tiny fraction of points because it says wreath and it is not a reath.
Yeah yeah, I do not like to be lied to by candy.
No, you sure don't. It gets me. It gets you angry and
me scared and get curious. So speaking, which did you hang up any
wreaths this year? I couldn't find any. I went down to Big Lights
looking for reads. Either they were sold out or they haven't put any out.
Well, you know my cousin Danny, he comes into town and he
lives out on a tree farm, so he always brings me one from all
the cast off trees that no one else wants. So I get mine for
free. But I get them the day after Christmas. Now I leave them
up through New Year's nonetheless, well because I get a good week out of
it them I'm on the budget. I just couldn't believe Big Lots didn't have
any wreaths. Can you believe? Do you remember when Big Lots was mcfrugal's.
I do, yeah, yeah, and before that Benjamin Franklins, it
was a Benjamin Franklins. I remember because of the key. I wonder who's
in charge of that? Well, renaming a store for no good reason.
Will and Nilly. Well, you know what, it's probably different owners and
they're probably just looking at spaces and stuff. I tell you what, it's
that that Big Lots has been nice. I just I can't. I can't
fathom why they didn't have reaths this year. It's gonna bother me tonight.
Sorry, I'm that's not your fault. It's because I care about you.
You know what else they care about? Candy? Oh, next up,
we got the spree candy cane. Let me just get these open Breeze you
know that was That was something I always enjoyed as a child. I mean
too, I'm glad they're still around for some reason. I consider them a
summertime treat or something fun for the movies, or when you when you're riding
out in the countryside the windows are down and you're drinking a Budweiser, and
when you're that age when you just need to shoplift something to prove your cool
to your friends. Spreeze they go ride up a sleeve, just boop and
they're gone. You know what, I've always liked these have little warts on
him or something. What is that mine? Scott Wartz, that's probably that
flavor. Kick look out. Now, these things are always so difficult to
get unwrapped properly. M m. That's why I keep my candy knife with
me. Here you go, tab, don't cut yourself. I keep it
sharper than a razor. Where'd you get this? Well? Big lots of
cars, thank you. They used to have knives over at Piggy Dog,
but then they have that guy running muck in there, and now they don't.
Then that guy ran a muck in there, and that's all over now
he ruined it for everybody. Way to go, guy and pick the dog.
You know what I like and never could tell until recently they started marking
them that the candy canes the taste like cherry. Do you ever get there?
I've never heard of that. Well I would be I mean, I
love cherry, but that would alarm me if I was expecting pepper man.
But I tell you what, I tell you what they're they're usually multicolored,
and you can you know they're not the regular peppermint candy canes because they got
the color on them, but they always tasted the same. Well, that
taste is cherry, my goodness, I know. Well, here we go
it's time to try a new candy cane waiting for that kick me too.
I feel like it would have arrived by now. Perhaps our mouths are so
desensitized to every taste in the world from the copious amounts of candy that we
the kick is just inconsequential. I don't think that's the case. I think
our senses are hot. And it's like saying a man's arms get desensitized from
too many push ups, he just gets better at them. You're better at
analogies than I am. M. Well, I'm definitely getting a delicious rush
of fruit flavor. But it's tart, but manageably tart, exactly. It's
not looking to punish me. It's not a trick. It's not like,
hey, dummy, thanks for buying me jokes on you four Oh I hate
those candies, Betty, Betty, this is the season for giving and lovin.
Let's try to turn that friend upset down. We got candy and I
just full. I just feel like there's a lot of negativity coming from you
this this episode. Are you okay? Is there is there anything you need
to talk about? Is it the reads at Biglots? Is it them not
having reads? Well, I didn't want to bring it up, but since
he asked, I have not been speaking to Danny, my cousin since Thanksgiving.
When he showed up bringing a vegetarian turkey dish. What without warning or
calling or sending a letter of any kind. What was it? I'll never
know. That was what alarmed me so very much. I didn't know what
the dish was. He said it was vegetarian turkey, and I said,
well, that's not possible, because if it's either vegetarian or it's turkey,
is that what they call that? To Fukti, this is a podcast for
families. I'm sorry, that's not what I meant, but I think I
heard of it. It's it's dumb. It sounds dumb. Why would you
do that? Well, I mean we had a fallen out and I may
have overreacted and thrown silverware at him, But now I just I guess I'm
just hoping that Christmas spirit prevails and he shows up with those reads. You
know, we will don't even worry about it. He will do it,
buddy. I have to tell you, that's the dummest thing I've heard in
a long time. I mean, we had plenty of vegetarian entrees. At
our Thanksgiving we had green bean cast roll and bacon bits on him. Yep.
We had rocla cast role with little bits of bacon in it. Yep.
We had mashed potatoes with turkey gravy and bacon bits. Not to mention,
I brought that salad with the beat salad with bacon bits, the blue
cheese bacon dressing. I mean, how you can't get any more vegetarian than
that? Why do people need to invent fake animals to slaughter and bring to
your table to consume? Well, it's just a question I'll never have an
answer to. But let me ask you a question you do have an answer
to. What's that? What do you think of that candy cane? You
know? I like I said, it's tart, but manageably tart, So
it's a nice reprieve from the chocolate. Not that I need a reprieve.
I'll tell you what. I feel like these would be a terrific candy choice,
But I don't know if they necessarily have the spirit of the season in
them. M that's a that is a great observation. I'd like to see
this as a candy stick like they used to sell it stuckies, right,
I love those? Which one was your favorite? Oh, riot Bear,
Oh, I like Rotermelon. This is a watermelon's path, it sure is.
It's definitely in watermelon territory. This is better for Eastern it is.
This is springtime. It's colorful, it's funderful, and it just it doesn't
have any of the majesty of winter's dark in Braith. No, I'll agree.
Well, let's move on to something that does. All right, here's
a company that knows how Christmas gets done, Hershey's. Hershey the work they've
done with kisses, treasures, individually wrapped, holiday wrapped. I just couldn't
love these people anymore. And here they just keep on giving m I've never
seen this before. A Hershey's candy cane bar. Now it's time for us
to remember what candy canes are all about. I hope I can look out
all the remnants of that tart tart candy cane in my mouth. Just lick
it out. There's a great big chunk of candy bar candy bar for you
already, and away we go. I like breaking might apart into little rectangles
and eating each little rec I can't get candy in my mouth fast enough.
Mmmmmm Oh the weather outside is frightful, but this candy bar is so delightful.
M m. It's remind me it's something from my childhood and I can't
even put my finger on it. Mmmmmmm. Now you know they make these
in the Hershey Kisses just like this. Mm they're real good. That maybe
what I'm thinking of, But boy, these make me wistful. I'm also
very whistful. They're beautiful to look at. Now I could make a gingerbread
house just with these. It's got you can see the red in the white
chocolate. Structurally they're sound. M when you break them apart, they're they're
like little minutature balls in their little little little sprinkle balls that you might put
on cane balls. It's real cute and tasty. Mmmmm. I'll tell you
what. Christmas time just got a home run once again. Mister Hershey and
your cohorts do Christmas up right, that's right. Whoever you're, whoever is
in charge of you're hiring it. I love them, and you aren't changing
your name every ten to sixteen years. And you get it. You got
a thing that's winning. You got smart people doing it and be happier.
Thank you, Hershey, thanks Hershey. Well let's move on to another holiday
veteran who's chartering new Territorian Christmas peeps. Generally I'm not a fan of peeps.
Well, I am horrified to hear that, because I've got I've got
wonderful news for you. What it's time for Christmas edition of Tam Tabitha.
No I thought you'd not remember. I thought you'd forget about it. I'll
never forget Tabitha. I'll never forget get that candid naff out. That's right,
it's always razor sharp. So peeps a Santa man here? We got
some some little snowman. It comes in a package of nine, so I'm
gonna take one. I just wish you'd snow around here so I could build
a snowman once. Wouldn't that be a delight? Wouldn't that just be a
treat? So here, I don't know, you know, they keep talking
about them global warmings, and I don't know that it's going to happen.
Because it's Christmas and it's the season of giving. Tabitha. I'd like to
give you an additional challenge. Can you eat all eight of these peeps somewhat
simultaneously while saying jingle bells. Well, well, I mean a half to
I have to well, you know what, give me your laugh alert and
I will push that button the minute you start to look funny. That's smart
compromise. All right, here we go. You're like Henry Clay, here's
my time. I don't get that reference at all. All right, So
there's eight of these. They're my little snowman. They're about an inch and
a half, but two inches. He's gonna build a fence out of them.
I'm expecting some marshmallowy flavor. How would you like me to do this?
Just start singing and shove them in my mouth as we go. That'll
do just fine, thank you, tab All right, here we go,
dashing my god, all along, we got man bear with Brian. Okay,
I can't have you die on me. Tap them. I've got two
in my mouth. I've got ship staring me in the face, and the
morning fighting just to throw them back. Okay, okay, focus, no
more singing. I'll sing. I can sing. I'll think I can thing.
Jingle b oh jangle bell, general bell Jane like, hey, don't
stank of don go bo dingle ball dangle all the way. Oh my gosh,
oh what them? It is open both. I'm bucked hill ring.
I'm looking from something, something from them. I gotta tell you, talent.
At this point, I feel like I may have gone too far.
I may have tempted Tabitha beyond all reason, because an entire package of peeps
is not a thing to be consumed rapidly. I've gotten halfway through, and
I believe that. I believe I'm seeing a cracking on your wall. Oh,
if you're hallucinating, that is a bad sign. What's he doing with
that dump truck? Oh? Oh hey, Tabitha? Ring ring, ye,
ring ring, Hell, Hello, Tabitha, it's the governor. You
gotta reprieve boy. I've got some beefs i'd like to take up with you.
Oh nope, nope, just giving you Kennedy reprieves. I have to
go back to the Governor's mansion by Mary Christmas God blast. But I mean
Betty bye bye click Betty. Yes, you'll never believe what just happened.
What the governor called me? The governor called me, and what did he
have to sa? Governor said, I don't have to eat any more of
these horrible, wretched peaks anymore. Oh, well, that is a Christmas
miracle. Oh, it's sure he is. Oh and if anybody believes in
Jesus and Santa, it's this girl right here. Oh, because, oh
my golly, that was tortris. I'm sure glad the governor called because I'm
starting to feel real guilty. I tell you what, I've had a lot
of chocolate in my mouth before, but four peeps is like just taking a
bite out of a mountainous sugar. That's three and a half peeps too many,
Having that mountainous sugar just sit right square on top of your heart.
Oh well, give me my life alert back here you go. Well,
let's look back on all the ground we've come for tonight. All right,
we gotta rate these we got, But I'll tell you what I'm gonna put
at the bottom of the pile. Love you at Easter. Them little yellow
ducklings that you make are adorable. But peep's stay in your own backyard.
Oh thank you. Because somebody had to say it, we're all thinking it.
Mmmm. Well, we'll just save you for Easter. And that means
you're special and there's nothing wrong with being special sure ain't. And after that,
I'll tell you what the next up the list is gonna have to be.
Breathe candy canes, a delicious treat with no Christmas feeling. Mmmmmm.
I couldn't have put it better myself. In fact, I won't even try.
After that, the surprisingly uncoconunty coconut reads. I found them delicious and
the texture was luxurious. M m, not bad at all, but not
actually reads. Very upset about that lack of whole. That is a detail.
It's a detail that big lots should look into. You should look into
it being lots closed out store. And this year's Christmas candy King is Hershey's
candy cane Bar. Way to go Hershey's. It's a sight to for soul
rise. It's beautiful to look at and it's a dream to taste. Thank
you, Hershey, thank once again showing us the true meaning of Christmas.
It's all in our hearts and in your candy and Jesus and in Jesus well
for this episode of Candy Chat, I am Betty Eversaul and I am Tabitha,
wishing you the very happiest of holidays, and by holidays we mean Christmas.
Christmas. I'd like to pronounce the tea Chris Christmas Christmas so people know
I'm not mask We're okay with Catholics. M christ Mass, Mary Christmas and
a happy new listening Thank you alway, and a name Jo. No Chris
for a bad The bad Lord Christmas has candy for you