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Hello everyone, Welcome back to the Let's Talk the Tings podcast, where
we discuss the importance of personal growth, travel, music and wellness while encouraging
you to live fearlessly and fabulously. I'm your host, Ash and this week
we are talking the things about the importance of being okay with disappointing others if
it means being true to yourself. So we've all been there, faced with
the pressures to please everyone around us. But what happens when that pressure conflicts
with our own wellbeing and growth? Sometimes it's necessary to prioritize ourselves and our
own paths, even if it means letting others down. So I saw a
quote the other day that I thought really resonated with this topic, and it
said, let yourself disappoint people, especially if you need to take care of
your mind, or because your intuition is telling you that what they want does
not align with who you are or who you are becoming. Betraying yourself is
not virtuous. Remember, no one can feel your heart better than you can.
And I thought, wow, you know, what a powerful quote,
What powerful words. And it's something that I think, especially as women were
socialized to do, you know, put ourselves last. And it's something that
I realized that this generation and the generations after are really kind of turning the
tables on, and it's really important that we all recognize things that are draining
us ways that we're disappointing ourselves in order to keep other people happy. Because
at the end of the day, that's not healthy for you. I thought
it would be interesting to break down this quote and kind of learn from what
the quote is saying. Let yourself disappoint people. Now, this is a
tough pill for many people to swallow it, especially if you spent years being
a people pleaser. You know, some people are conditioned to seek approval and
avoid disappointing others at all costs. So that might look like going out when
you don't feel like it. That might look like over extending yourself for other
people when you don't get the same in return. That also might look like
being there for somebody, or listening to somebody's problems and offering your But when
you need advice or you need a shoulder to lean on, they're not there,
right. But what if I told you that sometimes disappointing others is not
only okay, but it is necessary for our own growth and our own well
being. The fact of the matter is, and I've said it many times
on this podcast, there is no prize for overextending yourself. There's no prize
for, you know, putting yourself at a detriment or at a loss for
others. And what I mean by that again, is it's not that you're
doing it to get a prize, but it's that you know you have to
do what you're able, what you can offer in that moment, and you
over extending yourself is only going to drain you. You know. And many
times the person that you're doing it for, the person you're over extending yourself
for, they don't even realize you're overextending, right, So they just think
you're able to show up for them. And let's say you bring it up
in the future, they might look at you and say, well, I
didn't ask you to do that, which is one of the most disrespectful things
you can say, but people say it because the truth of the matter is
they most of the time people ask you, you know, if you can
do something, and they expect that you're gonna tell the truth of whether you
can do it or not. So if you're choosing to say that you can
do something that you know you don't have the capacity to do, in a
sense, you know they're right. They asked you, and you had the
free will to answer correctly. So my point in saying that is that you
don't want to ever be on the receiving end of that, and you don't
want to ever have that feeling of Wow, you know, I overextend myself.
I put myself at a detriment for this person or in this situation,
and it wasn't even appreciated. So the way you avoid that is to just
show up how you can do what you can. If you're able to overextend,
absolutely help anyone that you can, but make sure you're not pouring from
an empty cup. The quote also emphasizes the importance of taking care of our
minds and listening to our intuition. How often do we ignore our inner voice
in favor of fulfilling others expectations, And as we discuss several times on this
podcast, our intuition is like a compus guiding us on our journey. When
it tells us that someone else's desires don't align with our own values or aspirations,
it's really important to heed to that and to listen to that, and
to trust that right because nine times out of ten we've all regretted not trusting
our intuition. It is definitely there for a reason. That brings me to
the concept of betraying oneself right, which is really the basis of this whole
thing, because it is a sense of self betrayal when you're overextending yourself and
you know you don't have the capacity to do that. When we consistently prioritize
others' needs and desires over our own, we're essentially saying that what they need
from us is more important than what we need for ourselves. You know,
we're betraying ourselves and our authenticity. And let's be clear, betraying oneself is
not virtuous, right. Some of us grew up in cultures where we're told
that, or we're shown that, or as I said, we're socialized that,
especially as women. But it's not true. It's a myth, it
is not virtuous. It's self deprecating in my opinion, and it's a disservice
to our own hearts and souls and what we need to really thrive in this
world. Ultimately, this quote serves as a gentle yet powerful reminder to trust
ourselves, our instincts, and our inner wisdom. So how can we start
applying these principles in our own lives. Well, it begins with self awareness
and self compassion. It's important that we learn to recognize when we're sacrificing our
own well being to please others and have the courage to course correct. Right.
Everyone makes mistakes. You're not going to get it right all the time,
especially, as I said, if you've been a people pleaser all your
life. It's not going to take hearing this one episode or reading one quote
or reading a book for you to course correct who you've been your entire life.
Right, But consistency is key. Awareness is key, you know,
being in moments where you realize, oh my gosh, I'm over extending myself,
or I'm offering to do something that I know I don't have the capacity
to do, let me reach out to that person and say I'm so sorry,
I'm not going to be able to do it. Or let me stop
myself mid conversation and say, you know what, unfortunately I'm not going to
be able to help up with this thing with baby steps. But it can
be done, and it's worth it for not only your well being but also
your mental health. Remember it's okay to let yourself disappoint others, It's okay
to prioritize your own needs and desires, and most importantly, it is okay
to trust yourself and follow your own path, even if it means going against
the green, because you are the author of your own story and only you
can decide how it unfolds.