Hey, look, how do we start this episode? How do we do
it? Like like a dog's getting kicked to death? Make that noise?
Or or wait wait, wait wait do it again? Get you do it
again? Or or listen, you better listen to me. Next time dog,
you fucking stupid piece of shit. Next time you piss on my fucking
bedsheets, I'm gonna kick you even worse. Okay, I'm gonna kick your
head loose. All right, You're gonna be a pez dispenser by the time
I'm done with you. You ready? Are you ready to listen to me
now? Or or you sounds like a response art mixed with the seal or
something I don't know. Welcome to the Seal Bird, Welcome to the Snark
Tank Podcast. Are you eating? What are you eating right now? Is
that an orange? Mango? Oh? Mango? Mango? Oh? Man?
Mango? Is one of those that's one of those fruits that you can't
eat quietly? Okay? Is it? That's like one of those words you
gotta like. Oh. I think it's they're soft enough, like they're not
like your typical melon. That makes a very delicious though, is what I'm
saying. It's like you can't like I love he'll be smacking and making yo.
Hey check this out. Okay, have you ever had green mango?
Yeah, I'm certain, yeah, absolutely, it's this ship. And then
so so there's this weird conspiracy. You know. I acknowledge that there's no
way because the world does not is not, you know, does not revolve
around me. But there's things that I love and as soon as I really
take to them, they just disappear off the face of the earth. Green
mangoes is one of those things. I used to buy green mangoes at the
store. I would even buy sometimes they would have the dry fruit and they
would just like fruit roll ups. They're gone, they just they I don't
a normal stores that would go to, like Trader Joe's and whatnot. Uh,
they're gone. Not you cheese, there's a notre cheese that's straighter Joe's
gone, face of the earth. I can go on for fucking a long.
The Traders by me has both of those things. No, they don't.
They do. They don't. I'm not absolutely do if they have the
Okay, so their mangoes from Trader Joe's. Absolutely, I have absolutely gotten
green mangoes tras every week, Like if next time you're there. If they're
there, then then I will lose my fucking mind. And then also why
you're there, look for Valencia oranges because that's another I've never been an orange
person. Oh man, I love oranges, but Valencia oranges are like the
sweetest, like the best oranges in my opinion, and the same thing.
They stop selling them everywhere, and all they have is bitch ass like either
Mandarin or Navel or whatever, and that's it. And I'm like, what
happened, dude? Sublancia is the way to go, and they didn't just
stopped. Is there really that is? Is there really that much of a
difference between these fucking things. I feel like it's kind of I have never
I have I have What do you mean a potato? Potato is a potato?
No? No, I just don't give it Like I don't taste.
I don't taste the difference. I want to like you don't. It's like
when people It's like when people are like, oh, Granny Smith apples versus
like these other apples, and I was like, they're all fucking apples,
like they like, there's not They're not different enough to warrant likes the idea
of having preferences for different apples versus other ones is fucking insane. All that
I fucking fruit. I'll give you the app only because I'm biased and I
don't really fuck with apples. But you're crazy. That's the variation of fruit.
And every sort of thing is where they're from. That's like this like
wag goose steak, and there's like different kinds of Steatre's like angus, there's
different kinds of different states. Well then what then you just don't care?
That's what you mean. That's what you mean what you actually made? You
give a shit about the You're just not smart enough at all. I feel
like there sidges are broken. You're like I can tell the difference. It
all tastes between they. It all tastes like chicken. Why does anybody care
about difference? But potatoes, it tastes like chicken. What do you mean?
Potatoes all tastes like chicken. Every time I have a fucking about potatoes,
tato like chicken. What's the what are you talking? It tastes like
he's biting. He's biting the raw potatoes like gusses bro. I'd be in
really good shape if that were the case, because I would only eat I
would just eat the best, you know, food in the world that's usually
bitter fuck And if it tastes like chicken, I'm winning. If if I
had a superpower that was just to make anything that I eat tastes like chicken,
I would I would be so healthy. It's insanely wish I could.
For me. It's celery. I can't taste like nothing. It tastes terrible
to me. What's it taste like? You as a faint taste terrible?
It might be like a genetic thing. Man, it's a faint taste.
People like, it doesn't taste anything. It's a very faint taste that once
you get to the crack, it's like it like it pisses something disgusting,
and I'm like, this is so bad, this is so bad. That
is the craziest thing I've ever heard of. Celery. Celery is the most
tasteless thing. Celery is more tasteless to me than fucking water is. So
that's lettuce is more taste than celery. See, I have no I agree
with that because like iceberg lettuce. So people say lettuce doesn't really taste like
much to them. But to me, and I think it's like I think
it just depends on who you are. Iceberg lettuce has a very uh like
a bitter taste to me that I just do not like. It's one of
those things where there could be like a very small little piece of lettuce just
placed in in a fucking in a burrito, like it's so hidden in there
and my tongue will find it. It's one of those things where I'm like,
oh, it's weird, it's it's it's bizarre. I don't I can't
explain it other than you know, I don't know. Let me let me
ask you. Let me ask you a question. Yeah, if if I
put if I just cut up apples right like at random, like Granny Smith
red delicious, fucking you know whatever, there's like a million other apples as
well, it's just fucking absurd. If I cut them all up in slices,
mix them all up, and gave you a slice of apples, would
you be able to tell me which ones were? What? If you mix
maybe apples that way? But if you just give me slices, I could
probably identify some of them, a good few of them good, Like you
know the difference between like a red Delicious and like a Granny Smith like taste.
They taste very different, those particular tastes very different, because maybe it's
because I'm maybe see I'm slightly allergic to fruit, and so like I just
don't care, but I don't feel like I don't remember. I think French
fries like Delicious in particular taste like app like redd is the apple taste the
most basic apple tastes. But then but then no, no, no,
but then Granny Smith. Granny Smith are tart they're tartan sweet. They're like
famous the green ones they're tartan sweet. Then there's the Yukon golden ones.
They have a very sort of bitter taste. That's a that's a potato kon
golden. Yeah you can't golden, you can the golden there's a golden version
of apple. Maybe there's a golden apple. But yeah, but potato you
got gold by the way, is actually the best potato to fry for French
fries. Usually that's the standards in a in a fast food because what a
lot of people use at home, and they probably don't understand why they're their
French fries are looking so brown and gross is because they're using russet, which
is like the baked potato fry, and then they just turn really dark.
So if you go to a lot of like soul food places, like let's
say, if you're ever below on the roscoes, uh, they'll they use
russet, which they dark. They get very dark when you fry them.
So a lot of people there is a difference, like there's a difference in
the flavor. And then obviously sweet potatoes that's super obvious, like if you
get like golden sweet, golden delicious, Like how they used the word delicious,
like they just put some fucking adjectivity good. No, they're good.
There's fee there's no red delicious ones. I know what coach tastes I with
gold gold delicious. There's honey potatoes, and there are the crisps. I
like, like as far as potatoes, I'm I'm a big fan. I'm
personally a big fan of Crustyns potatoes. Crust What the hell is that you
know? That is it sounds like you're gonna give me with one of those
like these nuts things or something. It's something gonna get me with one of
those like the ligma I have ligma. It turns into a veloci wrapped in
front of you. What do you say? Crusty nas? What krusty nas?
Potatoes? Crusty naser? What are you saying? No, crusty nas,
nasty nas? What is that? What is everybody? Everyody the audience
look up crying potatoes. I ain't looking up whatever that is because it's probably
something gross sounds. It's not from it's not from anything. It's a real
potato. I don't believe it. Is it? Really? You? Just
fucking how came when I it's nothing? Because it's clearly not. We gotta
move on. There's nothing going on. In case you haven't recognized by this
point in the episode, there's fucking there's nothing going on. We scoured the
internet for a while. There's fucking nothing. Nobody important died. There's no
like big like nobody like Apple didn't unveil like a I don't know, like
a aum cleaner that comes in you like I don't know, like what there's
there's There's very little little to go on, So we're gonna probably do another
episode another episode of just Question Led A question Led discussion. Yeah, although
I gotta be honest with you. A lot of these. I don't know.
Man, Hey man, I'm looking at the list. I'm look,
look, look, I'm looking at a list of all these apples, and
I've convinced half of these are made up. They're simply can't be this many
apples, like I just, I mean, of course there are. It's
but you know what I do, agree that Luke cares. You know what
I mean, Like it's what I mean. The only three potatoes, like
potatoes, like every kind of thing, whenever you're cookings or dishes, certain
things are better certain dishes. That's how food works, right, Like your
red skinned ones are pretty good for putting in roast and shit, there's seventy
five there's seventy five, not seventy five hundred varieties of apples. Yes,
no, yes, no, they're probably like they're probably like ten. There's
probably like ten. Okay, i'll give you ten max, but like seventy
five hundred. No, that is what that is. Listen, listen to
what I'm saying. Hold on, hold on, no, no, no,
no, no no, no, listen listen what this is. This
is ten different types of apples with with hundreds of varying states of like freshness
and ripeness that they've like thrown into a list. It's like, Oh,
that's a fucking rancid granny Smith and that's its own type of apples. Think
I'm sick of this. I'm saying of how many variations of an animal there
are? That's just as dumb. We don't we don't you guys, there's
there's don't ever get it, donal in comparisons, I get to animals and
compared, they're not seventy five thousand, They're not seventy five hundred varieties of
fucking cats. I'm sorry it was not species, but there's a ton of
cats, bros of dogs, there's population population wise, yes, I'm talking
about talking about Okay, so many cats are for real, let's go through
the list. Maybe there's a black, there's black, there's orange, there's
there's black, there's orange. There's tigers and lions, and that's it.
That there's four cats, motherfuck up, stupid. There's nothing else this moment.
How how are there four cats and seventy five hundred apples? Yeah?
And I really hope children don't listen to us. I really hope there aren't
children that are basically information in the world. Plusibly listen to us and get
all of their uh knowledge. There between fourty to seventy breeds of cats.
No, there isn't that many cats. Why I'm talking about That's what I'm
saying. There's there's maximum under a hundred types of cats. You're telling me
there's seventy five hundred apples. There's infinity billion dogs because people love fucking with
dogs, but they didn't really breathe. Yeah, that's the only reason true.
But its approximately four hundred. There's too many. What there's more apples
than cats and dogs combine. I don't I don't buy that. I don't
believe it's it's easier to control what happens with a freaking apple. No,
but what I'm saying, what I'm saying is you know that there are two
apples that are virtually the fucking same. Is nearly the same? Isn't the
same? That's nearly the same. I know it's stupid. I know it's
dumb, But like, if you ever ever look like fucking like colds and
a variety of ship like that can be variety of what you're looking a cold?
You like the chart, I don't know what you're talking about. Cots
that help you have your DNA to make it like, make make it so
you have a functioning like proper self. No, I don't need I don't
need protein. I don't know what you're talking about. Damn Okay, I'm
not even approaching, be honest. I got toilet paper. I eat toilet
paper and matches, and I make sure I like them before I eat them.
Light the toilet paper, but it might see somebody light a matchine eating
them them get the outs. We just longer. I've been losing the weight
I've been eating. I've been eating lit matches. That's crazy. But would
you mind getting up in please? And they're like, what do you mean?
Like you heard exactly what I said, matches in peace? Damn,
that's crazy. Kind of communist fucking country is this, man bigs. First
they're toling us we can't First they're telling us we can't drink two leaders of
soda. Then they're telling us we can't eat our matches. What the fuck
is this? Big more? I want to eat my matches and peace,
you fucking not. I personally like the Yukon gold because they've got a little
spash to them. Hey, yo, I would fucking vibe you what happens
is they just crossed because because think of how many like, think of how
big the planet is, how many many kinds of soil there are? It's
pretty small? How much like there's only like three types of soil this motherfucker's
watch, there's only three. There's there's there's wet, dry, and crunchy.
Yeah, what different types. There's crab grass, there's Saint Augustine,
and then there's astro turk crab grass. It is in a type of grass.
It's a type of crab. Oh shit, I didn't know that.
Yeah, it's that grass is actually one huge crab with a million with with
two million legs. Only five types of soil? Are you fucking oh that?
That's actually kind of weird. What are the five types? All?
Bullshit? Clear, sand, silt, pleat? You know what this is
like? You know what? You know? You know what I think is
going on? So so right now we're discovering like a genuine conspiracy right now,
because this does not add up seventy kinds of cats, four hundred types
of dogs, five types of soil, seven seven thousand types of apples.
No, something's up, And I think I think what's happening. It's big
Apple. You know what's happening right now is Big Apple. They're doing they're
doing that thing. They're doing that thing where it's like, you know how
like some people are like, look at how many impressions I get, but
like impressions, but impressions mean fuck out, Like fuck all. It just
means people who have like seen your tweet like scroll past, yeah exactly.
Yeah, it's like I have eight million impressions a month, but like you
have like five comments or whatever. That's what's going on. It's like they're
trying to they're trying to inflate the engagement of apples. They're like, look
at how many different types of apples we can make when it's really just like
ten. Probably careful, Chris, You're you're you're getting way too close to
unraveling the conspiracy. Don't be surprised. I'm gonna get from President President Fiona
Apple. Is gonna come kill me, President Fiona Apple? No, you
might. You're probably gonna get some allegations some some sexual assault allegations. Oh,
miss Fiona Apple, not again. That would be so devastating if like
some if some massive celeby just singled me out on the internet and just decided,
you know what, I'm just gonna lie about this guy that would be
so devastated. And it was like like like a Taylor Swift like like level,
like We'll imagine if it was like one of the most famous people in
the world, Like what would you do? What could you? Gets sucked
up? That's fucked up because I have a story. I've told the story
about the podcast about how I ended up at a party at Taylor's house,
so she could theoretically like string something say something like I remember this guy,
he was fucking going through my underwear and then he remember this guy, Wait,
how do you know that struck me? What kind of fucking monster?
What s your monster gets caught doing that? Turns around and just slash.
Yeah. Sometimes you just gotta know you gotta get away of those pheromones to
keep you going, you know. Yeah, that's all it is. Greecher
gets and panties and bark and snarls at the person. Yeah, like you
can sit on, you can scree, shot on, stetch, you can
face. His face was priceless. Dude, fucking releass rat do that fucking
Italian rat. He's not man yeah. His last name is Delia. Not
gonna be fucking I could be anything, but I think African almost said something
berserk. It looks like it looks like, yeah, yeah, let's just
yeah, let's we're good. You gotta get hit soon. That's it.
Oh fuck God, I pray, I pray it's gonna be. It's gonna
be really funny. Should we have should we have Chris? Should we have
christ? Should we have Christaly on the show? Yeah? Should I he?
He looks let's just mess. Let's we should reach out. We should
reach out to him? Was like, listen, we're going to make fun
of you for being a fucking creep the entire time, but you want to
come on our show. I wonder how you were just fond to that.
I like. I like a lot of comedians, a lot of comedians out
there that are like air quotes really funny that I'm sure we could outpace.
I'm sure. I'm I'm gonna say something. I'm gonna say something right now.
I don't I don't really like talking. Yeah, no, I agree
with you, And that's what I was going to preface this with. I
don't really like saying stuff like that. However, if I'm honest. I
was just talking. I was just talking to my my friend that I grew
up with. You know, I met it when I was like five years
old. I was just playing more Combat one with him, and yeah,
I just like, I just like, I just read this guy the other
day. I'm even playing Mortal Combat Combat one first one my life. We're
playing Mortal Combat for unfucking sness, and we were, okay, long story
show. I was telling him the same exact thing that YO most of the
people that or at the top of their game, and like in the circuit,
I'm I was like, dude, I think it you him, he
and I and my other friends when we're just fucking around playing like Mortal Komba
Trilogy, it's like the funniest shit I've ever like crying tears things and and
I say, I'm like, dude, we're funnier than like most of these
fucking people. Even though I just I don't like saying this type of ship,
but I'm like, well, the reality is. The reality is the
reality is that there's there's a very different like a lot of people are funny
around their friends, you know what I mean. It's a bunch of people
who like him about this, like I don't mean this in a but also
but also I'm not I know, I know what you're saying. I understand
because I I felt this way before too, But it's it's also like there
is a difference, like I don't know, stand up such a different it's
you know what I mean, here's the thing, here's the thing. Uh
again, I don't like talking about myself, like in a positive way.
I hate doing it. But it's pretty disgusting. It feels weird. But
like say, I consider myself like a jack of all trades. I'm okay
with a lot of things, and stand up is one of those things that
when I hear a lot of these people when they're talking about their stand up
and their craft and everything like that, I do kind of roll my eyes
just a little bit because I feel like it's one of those things when people
want to give their field more credit than maybe I feel like it actually deserves.
Or I feel like there's a lot of people, there's a lot of
people out there that they would say, you can't do what I do,
But I disagree. I think, and not taken away from I think a
lot of the people that are on top of there, actually are funny,
But damn I've met some fucking people and even just being around like say,
say, uh Sweene, if you actually focused, you're like, I'm gonna
fucking put years into being a stand up comic, I think you would be
fucking right up there with a lot of people and given time, because there's
a lot of people that have taken years to craft everything and do all the
stuff and actually be passionate about it. But I feel a lot of people,
even you, Chris, I'm just saying I think y'all are. I
think y'all are leaps and bounds above a lot of people that I even watch
podcast wise and this stuff, and I'm like, all these people are pretty
funny, they're fun to watch, but they don't make me laugh like things
that I've heard y'all say. I'm just saying, like, like, I
know, there's like there have been times and I feel like this is when
I was younger, when I cared less about what the fuck I said,
But there have been times where I have me and Chris have made jokes that
have made rooms full of funny people almost die. That's a huge that's a
huge fucking comp that's a huge compliment, by the way, and that happens,
it's such a good feeling. It's crazy Like whenever that happened in like
a room of like comedian like the funniest people you know, is just like
cracking the fuck up. It's like like I totally understand. I totally understand
why people like get obsessed with it, Like like there's people, there's people
that I'm like, I'm not gonna name names, but I've made people that
are funny, like real comedy, like genius kings Kingston made Kingson mad.
Jeffrey Epstein laugh last time he'd Epstein laughed so hard he was like, I'm
gonna kill myself. And I was like when he was like, I don't
know, I can't take it. He was I don't want to another ever
again. He was like, I don't want to. Did you say that?
You see the thing where Trump was like talking about how like yo,
yeah, he probably killed himself. Did you see that? No, there's
a thing where like somebody was asking about Jeffrey Epstein. I don't remember if
it was like Tucker Carlson or some other like I don't even remember if it
was a Republican ponded or whatever the fuck, Like somebody was asking questions and
he was like about about him, about jeffy Epstein, and he was like,
yeah, I think it's I think it's probably. I think he probably
killed himself. You though, I don't get it to I don't get into
the which is fucking weird. Yeah, like in my fas because like he
obviously didn't. Like that's like, that's not even like a high level conspiracy
theory where people are like talking about whether or not the the Earth is a
fucking rombus or something. It's like, this is like obvious shit where it's
like anybody with a half a brain. And I was like, yeah,
yeah, he definitely did not kill him sign which does tell you something,
which really does tell you something. Yeah, tell concerning it really does tell
you something, especially because he's on that plane at least once. So it's
like I can't, I can't. I did everything right and they shot by
plane. Damn. You know what makes me sad? I feel like even
if even if it came out with all the information and you told the truth,
now, I thought of people would even believe you, Like even if
you like objective, I think you're probably right. You are right. The
amount of shit that is already out there for you'd be like, fuck this
guy, don't nobody should associate with them shit that's already out there, And
they're like, nah, that's it. It's just it's a simple as just
nah, Hey, what do you think? What do you think about like
these hours of evidence and damning shit that all the fun ship that he's done
over the fucking past few whatever. Nah. And then they're like, all
right, well, I got all right. Trump said, Trump said,
Trump said he killed himself. So it's like there's no conspiracy. That's yeah,
He's like that, that's really the boss Lady killed himself. He killed
himself, shot himself righting the braid. He shot himself right in the ear
lobes. I didn't I don't know why. It was a good man.
I had so much child pornography, you couldn't believe it lighting the walls.
Besides him, man, he was a very good man. I was tripping
over the stacks, the stacks of piles, stacks of It was difficult to
find your way to the bathroom, to tell you the truth. But we
found our way to the bathroom. But amongst the sea. If child poorn
they called him, couldn't find but couldn't find the light switch, They called
him c p Epstein, Sepstein for sure. He had him all, He
had him all put on. He had him scrolling on the wallpaper of his
computer. He called it the CPPC. I don't know, I don't know
what. I don't know if it was running a R twenty eight t I
or what. But it was scrolling four k ultra wide wilde. What happened
to the curves? What happened? What happened to the curve? Monitors,
ladies and gentlemen? What happened to curves? I need to know. I
really it's sucks because he is dude. Man. He was giving a speech
earlier today about windmills killing the whales. Did you see that. I saw
a little bit of it, which I know what he's talking about. I
understand, like, like it's not like it's not as ridiculous as windmills chopping
up whales, because that was my that was my first instay. I was
like, how the fuck are windmills killing falling in the water somehow and then
just just cutting this landing on the whales? Dude, And where you get
caught for some reason, they docimically. Do you know how fucking tall windmills
would have to be a fall off of plane, land into the ocean and
reach a whale to cut it up. I've seen it happen myself. I've
seen you. Remember Shan movie Beautiful, He's wonderful. Hunt to Biden,
the Great Hunt to Biden. We were out of at sea fucking whales,
or at least that's what he wanted to do. He wanted to fuck a
little whale. I said, no, not me. I'm an upstanding American.
And then out of nowhere it comes comes a wind middle, crazy,
crazy, thick. It's so good idea of Hunter Biden. First of all,
I would like to show a Hunter Biden. I feel like you look
cool, dude. I feel like he's a fun time. I certainly would
not. I certainly not. Man. I would like to be if if
enough people were, like, say, if it was three of us hanging
out, I'd be down. I couldn't be alone with them because I feel
like he would feel way too comfortable and really would try to course me to
smoke craw. You would fall asleep, You would you would you would fall
asleep in the middle of a conversation and wake up with your ass really hurting.
Like I feel like Hunter Biden is like a very straight like I don't
know, man, I don't know anything about Hunter Biden really, I just
I just I have seen him just doing like debaucherous shit, which is like,
fine, it's all fine, like whatever, like you're not the president,
you can do whatever the fuck you want. But like, at the
same time, I'm like, something about debaucherous people existing in politics at all.
Yeah, it's like, I don't know, it's like that Lauren Bobert
milking that fucking dude's wiener at Beetle Juice. It's crazy where it's like,
oh, man, imagine getting jerked off to beetlejuice. I mean, you
know what's sexy about that? And it sounds kind of cool. I'm not
alive nothing about arousing. It's not at all, But that's the whole point.
If you can do it's kind of cools hilarious, you know what's funny.
She actually literally made me want to see that shit. Like I was
like, I've seen clips of that musical on TikTok and stuff for a while
and it's actually pretty good. But I'm like, I don't know, I'm
not gonna go see a fucking like who am I gonna you know what I
mean? Like that's like a date thing goodend, like she's adores it,
and it's just like, okay, I like it, get along, huh
I would. I wouldn't call myself like a big fan, but I like
it a lot. I think it's cool. Juice beetle juice. I'm gonna
kill Hunter like a fish. I'm here to kill hundred midy know where he
is, and then I'm here to kill I'm here to kill Hunter, Biden
and whales. He pulls out a huge fucking horse, like one of those
hards. What it has has it's the fucking windmill. It's like a windmill,
like fucking harpoon shoots into the water. People bind it's fucking it looks
like it looks like it looks like mccree's gun from Overwach, like a gun
that's way too big for a person I have. And it's like that's another
Danny Elfman thing, by the way, right would do. I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure it would be weird. If it's not, it would
be it would definitely be weird if it wasn't. Yeah, especially starting to
look like beetle juice right now, you fucking starting to look like? He
looks interesting? Man, I love his haircut. He's actually are they making
him say who? He's kind of I was gonna say, Danny Elfans like
kind of good shape. Oh yeah, Dannie Elphan could beat the shit out
of you. Yeah, he could beat the shit out probably all like he's
he looks so weirdly strong, like he has like a carat top thing going
on where it's like, why is this guy buff? Yeah? That's actually
yeah exactly, that exactly that like he doesn't need to be nothing he does
sounds like it would be like if I found out Tim Burton was yoked,
you know what I mean, Like it's just like like, why the fuck?
Why is Tim Burton so fucking swallow? Why does Tim Burton look like
he could pick up Joe Rogan and eat him? You know what I mean?
That should happen? It should? I want, like all I want
to like all the yeah people that you just like you just look at a
fucking Martin Scorsese and his next film. He's taught he's getting interviewed his next
film, and he's fucking he is so yoked, like you can see,
like fucking his chest is up to his chip. Martin. Ye, Martin
Scorsese is the idea of a buff. Martin Scorsese is so fucking ill,
like helievably jack, that his fucking suits just looks stupid on him. You
ever see fucking bodybuilders wearing suits back in the day, I'm good, funny
dude, because there's no tailoring. No one tailored their suits back then,
because who the fuck tailor suits for those giant, hulking weirdos. So like
I want to, by the way, though, I want Martin Scorsese to
do that, like a miniature version of those guys. Yeah, to direct
the movie about Look, he hates he hates Cape shit right, he hates
Cape shit right? Sure, sure so I think if he directed Departed but
in the universe, where Miles Morosic juststed to be a great movie, I
think that so much. The shit they would call him and he's crazy,
They're like, well, well, well, little spider multi came to play
spider Monk. Actually, what isn't there actually a spider monkey. I'm pretty
sure that's real. I think so Marvel in the Spider Verse, right,
I swear to God in the Spider Verse, there's a spider. It's probably
the stupid idea. So yeah, I don't think it's I don't think it's
a racist character of a black person, but I think it's I think it's
literally aper. All right, let's move on. I think it'd be good
Man whatever whatever the is he're talking about, because i'd like him to the
dark that Cape move up, like a Cape shit movie, because he's like,
he's a greatly in art, doesn't belong there. He doesn't belong there
the same way that because he's not gonna make it. That's like you guys
are belong there's like, lo, dude, if you if you can make
good art, make good art, Like it's nothing wrong with making good things.
We can make it. He wouldn't want to do it, is the
thing. He would love to do it. What did you say about the
he said, Oh, the those he said he's all like in word parks
or what did he say? He said something like I said, he said,
he said, and I you everybody. I don't even know how he
I don't even know if this sounds like that. I'm Martin Scorsese. Hey,
you sway Martin fucking Scorsese. I don't like the superhero movies overhill because
I can't come to him. Let's move on. There's no t's not enough
movie of color being called the N word in those movies. Not a big
fan of them. No scorsesey, but Scorsesey. I gotta say, he
fell off, fell off. Flash movie only had a count if I think
three Edwards it did the script entirely, way less, way less than it
used to be. He did everything like back then and now they hate him.
Have you guys seen the Irishman with a shame? Yeah, I've seen
Edward. There was no black people on screen. They said the N word
and I was like, bro, why do you say that? It was
like, why did he make him say that this time? Not even was
like the opening scene Joe Petty just like literally just sucking stubs his toe and
says the N word. I think that's like seed they did well. It's
like I don't know, it's like it's it's that thing where it's like there
is the Irish, there is some historical like that. I'm not gonna lie
like it. I love Red Dead Redemption right, what Remption two is is
so fucking good. We talked about it all the time, but like the
way my least favorite thing about that game is honestly the way it kind of
skirts over a lot of the real shit because it's so true to life everything
everywhere else that it's kind of weird. Stuff is really fucked up. Oh,
I don't know, I don't know. No, but no, but
you know what I mean, like being like decently well no, no,
no, I'm not saying that, but I mean, like just the idea
that like did they even say the N word in that game? I don't
think so at all. No, No, because I think I found that
I found that really weird. Well they wanted to be aren't allowed to get
there. But but that's but no, But that's what I mean, That's
what I'm saying. That's why, that's why I think it, that's the
reason why it bothered me. Where it's like I feel like where I feel
like this is like infantilizing this this entire medium, because this is like a
serious this is a genuine like Red two is like fucking Oscar worthy shit,
Like if it if it was in like a different category, if it wasn't
a video game, it'd be fucking incredible, Like everybody would be everybody would
be talking about how good it was, and like they and it deserves to
me, right, especially narrative, And then like I was thinking, like
you know what I'm saying. You know, was literally literally profiled multiple times
in the game, him boy like ever to be fair to them, to
be fair to them, I think they did. I think if they did
use it, they used it once. I think, because I think I
remember hearing it, at least I feel like I remember hearing. Maybe I
might have just been playing. I might have just been playing online though watch
corsean movie or something. Yeah, I don't know, but yeah, like
I don't know, man, if it feels it feels weird that like video
games aren't allowed to go where certain tree and like it's it's just kind of
bizarre. It feels like, like you said, you said the right word,
like setting fantalizing because the way that the industry does treat like video games
or for kids. I mean, I was just watching some stupid fucking show,
a rally show with with Joe Joe, and this one chick was like
all pissed off that like or she just found out, like ill, you're
a gamer. Like this guy's like in his forties, like forty three.
He's like you, I don't like guys that play video games or like I
don't like adults. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Like do you know? Like all it just like with cartoons, I'm
like, you know, adults make them and you you, I'm like,
how could you? How stupid could you be? Kids? Fucking kids next
door or something where like children are just like like imagine a basement full of
ten year olds made red dead redemption too? Can you fucking imagine? Actually
be kind of funny? That's insane? Those those are like aliens basically at
that point, it should be a lot of in words in there. Yeah,
a little. It's every single moment of every single every every line has
one of them. Thut you've seen that in word Lenny, you know,
like no inWORD that. So the person that says it is Lenny, Lenny
says the N word. Yeah. Else he's riding with you. He says
it, and everybody everybody says it. Your horse says it, Oh my
god, not twinkle my horse. That's a good you brush them. That's
a good in word there and the brushing the horse. It turns and says
it. It says it's to Lemmy, it's like damn Lenny. It whispers
it in clearest say English, but like not even like not even like a
whisper is in like I only want you to hear it a whisper, just
to make it sound menacing, but loud enough that everybody in the room flings
like whoa, whoa, we gotta get a new horse. I think let's
understand why it's not said because of the fact that it's it's just like I
understand why it's not said because of the fact that it's it's objective as a
gratuitous word, as someone that says it way it should be here, but
here's absolutelyous. But but no car argument can argument. It should not be
hidden. The meaning of the word, the uses of it should never be
hidden because of the fact that it's a real word that was used to the
demean people. But it's extremely gratuitous if you're reading historically, but it's also
historically accurate to the time and also to fair. And also this has nothing
really to do with because to me, it's like, yeah, it's gratuitous.
But like, have you played Red that Renemption too? That is like
one of the most crituitous games I've ever You can describe everything about a person
of color without using that word. Are always no, but that's that's that
is why it is. That's it's not as fortuitous. It's a literal mass
murder. It's what I'm saying. It's like I'm like, no, no,
no, no, no, You're right, it's very weird. It's
very weird to have a game where you can shoot somebody's head into smitherines and
you can see it like realistically, like you can see like the bodies like
accurately like fall backwards and grabbing their neck, wondering what the fuck is going
on? But the line is drawn it like a word or like fortuitous duty,
like that's always been That's always been bizarre to me. I agree.
I agree with you to a degree, but I understand why the idea is
like not you. It's like shooting someone in the head is is very morbid
and also as gratuitous to be able to shoot somebody and blow their head off,
right, that is true, But when it comes to that word,
it's just like it's not worse than It's not worse than a slur man.
I'm being murdered and killing people's murdered, being murdered in a video game where
you are shooting somebody opposed to like this word, like you're killing a fake
person opposed this word with like centuries of really ill ill will and and super
derogatory derogators. That's not what I mean. That's not you're not you're not
saying that. You're not saying that, but that is that word, you
know, Like I think people should say. I think that word should be
said, especially if you're doing something that's catching a time, a time piece,
like for instan if you're reading, if you're reading a story about that
period of time and it's in the literature, and just say it. Say
it's literally the whole point of what I'm saying. I'm not I'm not saying
like I want it in Jimmy Neutron Boy, No no, no, no
no. Video game is a video game about game about the time. Why
can't talk about from that time for real? Like let's just compare, like
you would take like a like say, if Scorsese did a Western, you
know there would be six thousand in words in it, right, and it
would be praised and Oscar nominated and stuff like that because everybody wants to say
it. But but yeah, but why is that totally fine in this way
and this piece of art, this piece of media, But in video games?
No? But see why is why are video games not considered that level
when you damn no, that's it is actually better, which really it is.
They're in every conceivable way a fucking video games. Outside of dude,
outside of Good Fellas, I know, this is like a mass This is
out insane. I don't know. I'm sorry. I love that. That's
one of my ovorite movies. It's not better, It's not I'm what I'm
saying. What I'm saying is outside of outside of Good Fellas, I think
I think great that Ars Too is better than all of Martin's carses, everything,
everything that he's done. I think. I think it's I think they're
great by the way. I think they're awesome a lot, not rael good
Goodfellas has good performances, great movie, but it's not been Arty too,
like there's no character in there's no character, and good Fellas that it's anywhere
nearest interesting is like fucking Dutch. Well, well he doesn't think it's it's
apples tars. It is it is also apples oranges. Oh, I'm sorry,
Granny Smith Delicious. It's Granny Smiths to mandarins. You messed up your
close Mandarins are oranges apples or you said apples oranges? No, but that's
what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. It's like, oh, we
doesn't even have to cross into a different species. We could just compare two
apples, since they're so different from fucking each other. There's still anyone.
But you know, fuck you for eating apples. If you're listening, if
you're listening to this podcast and you're eating apples, eat a gun? That
is. That is the most savage thing I've heard someone say. How you
eat a gun? You fat bitch? That is some shy Let's move on,
let's get some questions even even we even real quick. For the record,
I just wanted to say that, yes, there is an N word
in the said in balder Skate three the litch queen. I just wanted that
out there. What's your name says the N word of black youth? Yeah?
So yeah, so I have to look at there's no way. That's
really if you choose a black protagonist, stop they just say it. Stop.
You know you couldn't play what's that you? Singers? Are you?
No? I was saying, what if you? What if you if you
selected your character and you made it you like put the skin tone all the
way down to black, and then you started the game, and then on
the narrator was like, you can't play this, you can't like no,
it says no, no, no, no no. The narratives says,
are you sure are? You will be much harder in these things, to
be much more difficult. It's like the south Park, the south Park game
with a difficulty slider. Oh yeah you right now. I'm wanting you right
now. They hate oolks, but they really hate black humans. I'm wanting
you right I get. We gotta get. We gotta get into questions.
So like, what were we gonna say? Were you gonna say some Derek
before we know whatever? It was bullshit? Whatever? Well whatever before we
sarch questions. You should all know that. You can pop on over to
patreon dot com slash just nark tank get some exclusive episodes over there. Early
access to certain episodes. Uh, and there's we're doing a lot of content
there now, so come on, oh bomb all right. So it's a
question. I love it. One cleric crowd and he says, howdy heritickes.
Is there any game or type of game that you just refuse to even
try as a trucker in real life? I refuse to try any of the
truck driving simulators myself. I feel, I know, like dude, mud
Runners and like those are that those are popular games. It's crazy, so
you really want to try it? I know that's me grass, you know,
ignorant because I don't drive giant trucks. But there's something that feels like
i'd want to directly compare how it feels. Yeah, this capture Does this
capture the crushing weight of sadness? Yeah? Does this make me want to
kill myself just as much? I wonder. I wonder if I asked my
cousins, like, yo, is it when you call of duty, when
you kill like insurrectionists, like the same as when you like when you like
you have to you have to choke the life out of somebody in real life,
He'll probably be like, get the say, I would imagine it's very
I would imagine it's very different. But anyway, he goes on, he
says, he goes on to say, the potential reality where I get off
work of driving a truck, onted to go home, sit in front of
my computer and drive another truck and enjoy myself while doing it honestly scares me.
So that's the thing. It's like he doesn't want to he doesn't want
to do his job and then enjoy it more when he's like not getting paid
to do it. That makes sense. I get that, Which is that
makes total sense? Didn't you have to do what you just did? So
I get that. It is damn near slavery. It is damn near slavery,
is ok So? All right? So any type of game that we
would refuse to even try. I don't know if there's any game that I
would refuse to try. But there's games that I generally don't bother with.
There's those dating anime simulator ones. Oh yeah, fucking virtual novels. I'm
yeahs are so aggravating because for some there's one virtual off I really want to
play because it has super good gameplay, but that's like out of one hundred
hours of a game, the game plays like fourteen hours opposed to like ninety
hours of like in just talking, and I'm like, damn, I would
love to play that game, but you don't play it. There's a really
there's one actually that I think our friend Lyle is in one that came out
recently where it's it's uh, it's it's it's It's probably the only I feel
like it's the only visual novel that someone like Derek would play, because it's
the whole point is that it's voice acted by like a bunch of degenerates,
or like it's written with like there's shit like I saw one line of dialogue
that was something like you came on my donut, What the fuck? Or
like some some bullshit like that where it's like, it's just so absurd.
Let me let me make sure I'm getting the name of that right. If
you're gonna be honest, you're gonna be honest for a moment. Walter's Gate
three is definitely a dating sim as well. Definitely partially, it's definitely a
dating sim That's part of the reason why I don't it's it's I think it's
part of the reason why I'm not as into it as I would like to
be, because I'm just like, to me, I like, I like
interesting dating sims, like if the characters are interesting and fleshed out and they
have these cool last like backgrounds and shit. Uh, for me, it
can be a statistic that I posted. So I posted a statistic, and
I feel like from talking to people, I'm starting to understand why. But
it's only two point two percent of people actually went on a date with Carlac,
And I thought that was like shockingly low, Like when can you go
on a date Carla? Again, we're part that, see, I think,
see, that's exactly I feel like it's the problem. There's a lot
of people because you got to be able to even touch Carlac. There's stipulations,
there's things you have to do. Also, how many how many people
actually like ended up like sitting the deal, like actually going on a date
with her because you can go on a date with her. You can actually
go on a date. And to me, it's actually one of the most
charming and quirk. I really enjoy that segment. So you can trigger that.
But the thing is, I feel like most people don't have no idea,
and I'm like, bro, you have to just you have to long
rest way more than you than you probably normally would to find extra shit that
you never would have because I missed a lot of stuff in my first playthrough
because I'm thinking, oh, I probably shouldn't do this because if I do
this too much and might trigger something else or whatever, you know, some
other bullshit might happen. But then, like the second play through, I
didn't give a fuck, right, So I was like, I'm just I'm
a what's up? I went back when I found out you can date Carlac
end shout out. At the same time, I cleared my save completely wiped
it all the way back to the fucking grove. I was. I was
literally about to fight Gortash And I was like, nah, I gotta go
back. You went all the way that in the way back that that is
literally and why wouldn't you just finish that play through and start a fucking new
one. Nah? That is did it in both of them? Can I
get a kiss? Bitch? One gives me a kiss? Hey, can
I get a kiss? Bitch? And I did the thing I did.
I did. I did the thing where Carla Carlack threw it down on me
crazy and I got freaking shout of heart to go skating different with me,
bro, and whenever it asks for your girlfriend, the game kind of stutters
a little bit because I shouldn't have to and if you, if you play
your cards right, you can balance a lot of shit. And then sometimes
you just have to like oops, break it off real quick and to like
read there's there's anyway what I was just gonna say, we you and I
need to have just a an episode where we just discussed this ship like we
do not if you guys want to do like a like a like a Bather's
gate like spoiler thing together, just just as like an extra Emma thing like
that's yea, so we can get out of our system because you know,
there's so much we gotta talk about. You only talking about a little bit.
We such a person and our girlfriends, like you'll stop. We gotta
do stuff that would be good. That'd be a good idea. I totally
I totally sign off on that. But yeah, man, I don't know.
Those visual novels though, are are probably like the that thing was called
Yeah it is. It is called Class of O nine. It is on
Steam and it is it's it's the tagline is it's not a dating sim it's
a rejection sim and it's it's it's pretty. I don't know, Like,
I don't know anything about these games really, like I don't know how to
play them. Their gameplay wise, they don't appeal to me. But if
I was going to play one, it would be this because it's voice acted
by just First of all, it's just voice acted by a bunch of our
friends, and also it's written by people who would know our friends. So
it's just it's just debauchrous. What is this? What is this line?
Tonight when mom's out with her new boyfriend, I'm gonna take the entire bottle.
I'm going to kill myself. What the fuck? Out of context?
I don't know what that is? But anyway, Yeah, let's move on
to you. You actually fucking shop me. What the fuck is wrong with
you? Maybe you'll think twice about breaking the law. Maybe maybe I love
I love that idea, Like that's been I think they came out a while
ago too. I just I never got around. I gotta see Lily again.
I haven't. I've been so fucking wrapped up. Yeah, let me
know, let me know when when you're doing something, all right? Uh?
Sam Road and he says, howdy, longtime listener, Long howdy,
long time listener, first time opinion. Have her. This isn't a question
as must it is. Just say, this isn't a question as much as
it is just a statement of admiration. I'm having a stroke today while listening
to the last episode. This is three weeks ago, so it's not probably
super current. Derek kept saying that the maximum age for office should be sixty
nine. Derek, I salute your dedication to the horny. It fuels my
admiration for the human race and keeps keeps alive my hope that one day will
be okay. I I feel like if we if we all kind of subscribe
to the sixty nine, I feel, you know, every we don't take
things so fucking seriously. We all have a few laughs and chuckles, you
know, tap into our thirteen year old selves. Man Like I think,
like, hey, everything should be sixty nine. Uh, everybody should make
at least sixty nine thousand dollars. I think that's like, uh, starting
in America. I think that I think it would fix a lot of things.
It's it's literally just memes. It's just sixty nine four twenty sixty nine,
four twenty, and that's the basis for our society. You know what
I just saw the other day, just the other day, because I started
I was thinking about how I didn't get you know, there's that gay online
culture war bullshit that people are still trying to harp on, and I was
just thinking, like, man, I just I never cared about that ship.
And I remember saying things like I can't wait for the ship to die
down and I could do other things. And then it eventually happened. I
was like cool, And I saw this post when I went to I got
invited to what was it called myth Con I gotta invite with Cohn and there
was somebody quoted me saying something along the lines. I thought I had it
on my phone, but it just I just said that, like I'm just
here for like memes, like because I was doing the debate with this chick
that interrupted Bernie Sanders or whatever, and I don't know, I don't know
the exact context, but all I said was like whatever. It was like
I don't give a fuck about this stuff, like I'm just here like fuck
around. And it was just cool scene that because I'm like, yeah,
like I've been consistent this whole time that that's so funny. It's like,
so you're on so you're on stage. It's basically being like, I don't
give a shit about anything, so I care, dude. I bought specific
at that panel, right, Yeah, I bought the shortest shorts that I
could find for that thing. I just like I want to wear like you
can see my bulge and like somebody actually pointed that out in a shot because
I didn't give I was literally this was me while the fucking chick was talking.
I was literally just like this whole time, like I didn't give a
fuck. I just wanted to see my online friends that I made. I
made some online friends, and I'm like, this is so stupid, supid
that you guys are trying to be like we're doing something important here, and
I'm like, I remember that I was supposed to go. I was supposed
to go to that and then I missed my plane. I was like,
ah, it was fun. I like hanging out with the people, man,
and Milwaukee was actually Milwaukee is a clean fucking city, man, Like
I was actually only five hundred thousand people. That's probably why, yeah,
exactly, so that's absolutely why. Surprisingly I was like, this is a
nice city, the fucking Fanzi statue and shit, so fucking dumb. But
anyway, long story short, Yeah, I just feel like kind of wrapping
that whole thing, man, just not taking it too seriously and uh,
kind of having fun like that's why it's like people, that's why we're making
fun of you for your pronouns. And I posted a video today about the
McDonald's ad did you see Did you see that McDonald said was the fact that,
oh, people are having a problem with this bitch where yeah, exactly
where exactly? No, Sweeney, what would you just say? Would you
just say what? Exactly? Exact fucking that's exactly what I'm talking? Yeah,
exactly. There you go. Don't even literally, don't even worry about
it because it's it's nothing. It's so if I if I remember correctly,
it was I could be wrong, but it was that Ian Miles Chong guy
was the guy that really got the ball rolling on that ship. I don't
know, so yeah, yeah, because I'm just like, what how I
searched searched for a while. Bro, all right, let's relax, let's
just jill. I mean, there isn't many times that I want to condone
violence. But I mean they're better people. They're better people. Like if
you if you had like one, if you had one chance per year to
condone violence against people, to get to get done violence against a single person
with no consequences, Oh, who would I choose? I'm not asking you
who it would be. I'm not asking you. You can tell you we
can't do that. We can't do that, we can because then it would
we be condoning violence. That's yeah, but you know what I mean,
But I all right onto the ground. I would there is literally one person.
There's only one person. I know there's worse people out in this world,
but there is one person specifically that if I ever saw them in person,
I am going to attack them, Miss McConnell. Man, Miss McConnell.
It's on site. I mean that he's taking you down. It's like
it's that's like fucking I don't know, it's like attacking, like it's gonna
go bad already, Brod when he doesn't have to. Is when your friend
goes to the back down and you beat him up. That's what. Yeah,
Yeah, Mitch McConnell. Feels like like if you pete on your own
hand and shook his hand. He would die from it, Like it feels
like he's at he's at like the very like you could Charlie horse him to
death. Yeah, you give him Indian burning it literally he's done if you
Indian burning set on fire. Could you imagine that crazy like in fucking like
it, like the guy in fucking Hereditary just like, yes, completely erupt
the biggest fire you've ever fucking seen too, like it. Actually it accidentally
start another wildfire and he's nowhere new fire in the middle of like fire looks
like and it's a wildfire like y do you guys remember that? Do you
guys remember that explosion in Fay Route all those years ago? Yeah, like
covid, I was thinking about this the other day these the guy the explosion.
Didn't you remember that ship? Yeah, the explosion. That period of
time was super fucked up because people were like got hurt. But there were
people on internet, like myself, making fucking jokes out the ass wagh the
tragedy. It just the memes out wagh the tragic crazy. I'm so sorry
to say this that the it was probably like ten or something. It no
way was actually I have no idea I'm being totally ignorant. The idea make
money is that. Oh my god, how many was how many? Was
it? All right? So it's okay? Now I miss okay, So
it's not all right. He discussed that was about to say three hundred.
Frank Sinatras fucking died in nineteen fucking nineteen ninety eight, nineteen fifteen, fifteen.
What what was he talking? So he died in so so not no,
not Frank Sinatra. I don't know why. I immediately went to so
the beyoit explosion, U two hundred and eighteen. Damn, that's a lot
more than I thought though. Yeah, I thought it was with the seven
thousand with seven with seven thousand injuries. That's crazy. That's way that was
an explosion. How was it wor you thought? Dude? I thought like
when I saw that explosion, I thought thousands are dead, Like that's due.
It's so huge. It was a big explosion because of the you know,
it was a factory. But I thought like, oh, there would
just be like just kind of like it in certain areas where they're not heavily
populated. It's like, oh, here's an industrial area where there's probably a
few people on site. I thought it was gonna be something like that,
but I know it's Bairut but just country. Yeah, but you can still
have it's gonna be full of people. Capital was always full of people.
It is, but it's it's a factory within Biru. It wasn't like,
oh, here's where everybody congregates and shit, you know what I'm saying.
Like it's not like. It wasn't like, oh, here's the here,
here's a huge populated shopping center. And then one of the fucking buildings caught
on fire and blew up or some shit that would be like crazy. That
ich compilations of that ship. And there was one time of this guy went
flying and you saw a kid in the air and I was crying, man,
I was crying because that kid was in the sky kids and his video
camera with somewhere else. And then you see in the corner of a kid.
You're like, Yo, that's a child in the air. When that
kid Land is gonna be crazy. I be honest, man, I just
I know. I know it's my bias that there's so much bad shit that
happens in the Middle East. It's just I'm conditioned to not care as much
and I and I recognize that. I know what you mean, because like
we just grew up surrounded. Well, I remember, well, I don't
know, maybe it was just constantly people dumped about how horrible wasn't there just
like a Greek a Turkish earthquake that killed like a bunch of people, probably
almost ten thousand people or something serious. Yeah, something like it was thousand.
I'm pretty sure, yeah it was. It was probably like two or
three months ago. If that as one of those things where like we're conditioned
to not give a fuck what is going on over there? The fucking the
tectonic plates. Got the vaccine? Yeah, that's that video. The ladies
shaking's got the vaccine videos are so fucking funny because that's just like, dude,
that's just not what happens if you have if you have complications from the
vaccine, that's totally possible. But like you're not gonna get fucking random Parkinson's.
We're not gonna you're not gonna all of a sudden develop rhythm like there's
anybody pull the Harlem shake music over those videos. Yeah, yeah, I
didn't see that though, but I I, you know what, I want
to look that also might be dated. That might that also might be like
it might not be the only good time to bring it back either that or
Okay, I hear somebody shakes Sonora. If someone did do shake Sonora,
I think you're right. I think I think Joji did start the Harlem shake.
Yeah he did, he did totally. Yeah, So apparently I don't
know if this is real, but like I've heard from people that Dracula Flow
is old Joji copy possible. Yes, she would multiple peach fucking which is
fucking fascinating to me because I've never heard that. That's the thing. I
was looking for it and then I just found one clip, but it was
clearly AI. So like, I don't I don't know. I don't know.
Am I be on like a privated video or something maybe or I don't
know, yea, how people found out, I guess they should be right,
Yeah, but like I'm sure, yeah, but I mean some I'm
I mean, my channel still up, but there's like a bunch of privated
videos on on there. I just posted of super old video, like one
of the oldest videos I've ever made, which was like me at like fucking
twelve or thirteen, teaching the Internet how to blower your weapon in Halo because
it's the Halo three is like fifteenth anniversary or sixteenth anniversary or something. Yeah,
I was like, I'm fucking gay, this is Halo and I'm gonna
be a Nazi in seven years. So fucking stupid one. I think about
that one. Uh. I think about that one podcast that I wanted to
be snark Tank and they were like, oh my god, that's right,
Like yeah, it was like white that. I need to find that clip
again. That's a that Yeah, I wonder what what the hell episode was
that where like we where that other snark Tank came in accused us of being
white supremacists and was so long ago because they were two it was two white
people who told us that too, which is awesome. I just remember that
they changed their podcast name to Contrivance. I don't only remember that. That's
right, that's right. Well, we're not trying to bring up old.
We have no problem with them at all. It was just so it was
just so weird. I got an apology from I don't know if you did.
I tried to tell him, like dude, like it literally no fucking
issue at all, Like we actually thought it was fun like that was that
was a fun thing that happened. Yeah, that's so funny. The thumbnails
on Joji's channel reminds me how different the Internet used to be a little while
ago. Dude, man, it's a different Yeah, it's a way different
time. It was a different beast, bro. I mean you could it
could have just seeing itself like this though. It's like it's like the Attitude
era wrestling, like it could have. It could have it fold of it
could have. We just we fucked it up, man, we fucked it
up. That apocalypse shit fucked it up, like because I really do think
that's the reason why a lot of shit is so bad now. I think
it's because, like I agree, I think I think what happened is people
got more restrictions on the content that they could make, and thus the type
of content that people could make and make money off of became harder and harder
to make. Like you couldn't really like just make content that was just entertaining,
because stuff that was just entertaining would just get demonetized and then you'd be
fucked. And so I think a lot of people were like, well,
if we just make entertaining stuff, we're just gonna get demonetized because to be
entertaining you have to push some fucking lines. And so what instead we're going
to do is we're either going to completely pacify ourselves and just completely scrub all
everything that's entertaining about us at all, so that we're really like scrub that
out of the equation so that way we're really advertiser friendly. We can make
a lot of money from advertisers that way. Or we're going to say out
of pocket shit and accrue this really passionate, like deranged user base, and
we might get demonetized, but through that passion will be like, okay,
it was like, hey, look we're getting silenced, we're getting silence,
keep up the good fight, fight with us, support us to keep the
good fight going. And then and then suddenly supporting them becomes like a like
a moral thing, you know what I mean, where it's like people get
excited about it, and then you make it, and then all the money
that you don't make on YouTube because you're demonetized, you make now on merch
stuff. You're selling, selling fucking crowder mugs, because now that's the really
only way to do it. Like dude, back then, people weren't.
I swear to god, man, people weren't pandering in the same way.
Like they just weren't. Straight up, there were always people. There were
always people, right, well, there were I'm just saying there were always
people who are in for money for sure, But like it's a different fucking
world now now that there's a limited amount of ways to make money. I
think it's certainly it's I think it's the I think the migration of the ruined
YouTube it's a part of it. Yeah, I think they didn't help.
Absolutely, they fucked They fucked up everything for everybody else. Uh, Logan
Paul with his fucking body and then just all this this bullshit Mandy, Yeah,
it's strange hanging from the poppy tree had as Logan Paul. It's fucking
pervert dad, dude, there, that's right. Hearing the fact that Logan
Paul has gotten all the shit he's gotten after being the piece of shit he's
been is still perplexing. It's like he's done better. Yes, he's definitely
not as piece like as shitty as he was, neither as Jake. Jake
is still a huge piece of shit, but he's like not as shitty as
he was like, do you ever forget that like selling like gambling with children
and like all this logan Paul is actually still very much sucks way worse than
Jake Paul overall, which is kind of crazy. It's just recently that whole
Coffee's illas ship right where like it still And the weird thing is he has
no he has so much money, like he's actually a very wealthy person and
to the point where his gigs, boxing, WWE and all this shit.
But he's like, you know what, let me still scam people, like
what you have to you have to just like doing that too, because he
doesn't need to do it. So it's pretty crazy. Let's uh, like
you have if you know, if you're that wealthy and you like I still
choose to like because usually it's always the other way. Like I don't know
if you heard of this guy named Patrick Bett David. He runs a thing
called value Tamement and it's obviously it was a he got he rose through prominence
to MLMs and now he's trying to act like he's legit, but you know,
he doesn't tell like, oh, how he got his money and how
he started. He scammed a bunch of people and now he's like, oh,
look at me, Logan. Paul started off grinding, they did all
their gay ass ship and then now he's like, I think I'm gonna like
really start scamming people hardcore now. And it's like, what, it's backwards.
You're supposed to do it first. You're suposed to do it first.
Man, it's kind of weird. You gotta be fucking kidding me. Whatever.
Okay, So I just read I very rarely have that reaction from a
question, but I got to read this one long long schlong Silver Road.
And he says, hello, Christine Darren and Queenston. Wow, has there
has there been a television show slash game that you bought just because you thought
a character was hot? Animal crossing New Horizons just for that slutty Egyptian cat,
and I binge the oblongs for the goth French chick. First of all,
that's insane, the oblongs. I don't even your filth. That's a
wilder film. I didn't even have thought about the oblongs and so long.
I forgot about that too, totally fucking forgot about that. But that is
fucking crazy that you would. That is so unattractive. It's it's wild.
But god, God, God bless, I don't know if I'm sure this.
Probably I'm sorry the time. I'm not gonna I'm not I'm not gonna
live time. I'm not gonna what the attractive Egyptian mine? Look look,
look, look, look, look, look this young man blunty Egyptian cat
is is hotter than the oblongs French, bro, that's the cat. First
of all, you fucking that's a cat, kid. You gotta gotta look
up the f I don't think, I don't think. I don't think.
I know, I know what the oblong is disgusting as well. But once
once almost human, once not human at all, wants a cat. So
yeah, but I've happened across porn of the other one, so like I
can easy, all right, I accept it at least a little bit more.
Look makes more sense to me. Look, I've done that. I
definitely, I definitely have army Commerce. I definitely bought skin from Fortnite.
Oh yeah, me too. It's the only skin that I bought from Fortnite
ever, the only time I actually ever played it. I guess that's my
answer. Then, Look, I probably I've done I don't know. You
know, I'm I'm I'm a boy. I'm a boy of the modern the
two thousands. I've done it, I've done it. But the well,
that French girl is fucking I know. Yeah, bro, you that's crazy.
That makes no fucking sense to me at all. At least, like
dude, at the very least, the gyp, the Egyptian cat in that
meme is like dancing seductively. At least there's like something there. But like
Jesus Christ, that character from the Oblong is one of the least enticing creatures
I think I've ever seen in my entire life. All Right, So this
guy is exposing himself to not like actual human human looking that's not a human
looking women like cat and the like very round circular, very circular head looks.
She looks like circle heads. She looks like yeah, nah, she
looks like I'm she looks I'm amazing, amazing, I'm trying to I'm trying
to be accurate, You're amazing. We're trying to find how many beers,
how many beers bro to be more and more than they got. I gotta
be unconscious. Yeah, that's like maybe if I was like, yeah,
a few drinks down, like, hey, hand job, I don't know.
I'll do it on I'll do it. I'll do it on a red
bull. Just I'll do it for the story. I'll do it for the
story. I'll do You don't care, no, don't care no more.
That's why you're sick. I care still, I care. Still you said
you care, then you said on a red bull. You gotta understand.
You can't. You can't. I can't. You can't exist in both those
realms at once. I care about the story. Okay, it's a story.
What's what's bad now is that you exist where you're always trying to find
a funny story and things, and you're willing to put yourself in situations for
it. Dude, I have I have put myself and do such horrible I
have put myself into such horrible predicaments purely because I thought one day it'll be
a really funny story. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta, purely.
And that was like the only reason you gotta regroup store you need to.
He's like, all right, yeah, I'll fuck you regroup. I'll this,
okay, Yeah, let me think, let me think. I think.
I don't know, man, I'm sure I've done this, of course,
you know, but I can't. I don't think there's anything specific that
I've that I've purchased as a result of thinking like something was like I watched
things that I was already into and then you know, oh she's hot or
whatever, you know what I mean. But like, I don't think I've
been drawn to something for that reason. I've definitely bought a study action like
Carol dan Verse and fucking like Spider Woman, Black Cat. Like I'm like,
I'm a kid, Like I'm a comic book nerd. You like I've
done that. It's whatever. I think I bought that comic a Spider Woman
where like her ass was impossibly like shown. Oh yeah yeah yeah, like
every it actually big. That was a big story. Was it was it
redding yellow suit? No? No, no, it was it was like
white and it was like white right, yeah, it's it's actually I kind
of forgot it's it was painted, right, it was like it was it
wasn't painted, Yeah, it wasn't like it was. It was a variant.
Dude. Yeah, it was a very dude. That was like it
was or was it was? I remember, but it was it was that
was a big story that at that time. I remember that was a huge
that was a huge topic of conversation about how they were calling it sexist because
it's impossible. It's like, it's impossible that Spider Woman could even function moving
around like that. It's like, bro, yeah, the first Spider Man
does it make sense? Well, first of all, also, but Spider
Man doesn't make sense, Like there's so many there's so many postes that Spider
Man has it the red yellow cool. Oh yeah, it's I don't know
what it is, Okay, hold on saying. I'm just I'm trying to
get the actual because they're in everything that I'm seeing. They're cutting off for
fucking butt cheeks, and I'm like, hey, how dare you how fucking
dare you do that? Covering it? What? Everything that I'm trying to
find? Okay, here it is. I found I found it, all
right, a Spider Woman cut off six someone did some cost claim but yeah,
still still not nearly as good as they did in the comment. And
because that is the title, I'm about to send you a chat right now,
I'm about to play in the chat. Is that every super just fended?
Whoa? Here we go that is true. Yeah, and they're drawn
also to be like, come on, bro, hold on a second,
why did you do that? Yeah, that's not no, because I know
it. Yeah, so it's hold on, hold on, I'm gonna get
the I'm gonna get I'm gonna get the link. I'm gonna get the relink.
One second. Here we go. I have it. It's this one.
Yeah, super Robot Mayhem dot Com. Yeah, wow, I do
remember. It's so crazy. Remember this, Yeah, I remember this.
Yeah, the Spider the Spider Woman variant cover by Milo Menara. Yeah,
there you go. And it was like a huge topic of conversation because everybody
was talking about how impossible it was for yeah, to get a fucking coplay.
It's really fucking good though. The only reason it can even be is
by being paint, you know, like by body paint, because like,
yeah, but that's all superheroes really like, right, so we'll not well,
not all superheroes, but a lot of him, like Spider Man,
Like Spider Man makes no sense, like the way that the way that fabric
works, it's like no, like he's he's definitely a naked man painted that
way cup, which I prefer that. I prefer that he's he's fucking just
no cup, bro, Like why that is a crazy good fucking if you're
who's this person? I trying to think of us, who's this person that
did this costplay? But trying to find her your only fans or would nah
man just curious, it's curious, you know for the story. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, I honestly, I honestly can't think of anything. I
honestly, oh you know what, no, never mind, never mind chun
Lei chun le street Fighter five I did. I did pay money to get
to get the suit to the costume, the classic costume. There you go,
so both both you know what it's worth. It is chun Lee because
his mine was in Fortnite the literally the only time I played Fortnite. That
was it. I forget got. I bought the five six. I bought
the old Chunlei skin. I also bought the old Cammy skin. And in
six they made her ass so fat it's crazy they gave they gave Cammy ass
for days. It is like, bro, this is you didn't need to
do all this, but I respected. Yeah, I was expected it's gonna.
I did buy one other comic because it was a backgirl. It was
it was an issue number twenty six because she looked like, this is the
artist Alex Garner. Yeah, I love his art, and god, she
looks so she looks so good in the cover. I was like, dude,
what's up? I'm sucking this is my ship right here? How you
do it? All right, let's let's let's get uh, let's knock out.
Let's knock out three three questions real quick, and then we'll head out.
Doctor doctor robotic doctor rocock. Next, the obscene peen Machine wrote in
he says, hello, black and Hispanic, black but not Hispanic and Hispanic
but not black. Nice. You have the power to simultaneously remove the thing,
not a person that you hate most, but at what but at the
cost of what you love the most. You can then continuously do this until
nothing exist on Earth? Do you do it? If so, how many
times do you do it? For example, Chris could remove the existence of
Imagine Dragons as a band, but at the cost of the Halo series.
I wouldn't. I wouldn't do this. Yeah that's not that's that's too quick.
Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do that. What did it cost?
Everything? Unless it was like everything, like unless it was like getting
rid of like you know, I don't know, like pedophiles or something where
it's like, okay, the cost you know, but then but then you
couldn't know. But then you couldn't remove the people. I guess you could
remove the concept of or like that that you could remove that. But then
but then, dude, what cost would that be? Would that be like
your ability to fucking walk? Because that's a big trade, you know what
I mean, to get to save the world. In that way, you
would be like you would be relegated to like a Stephen Hawking chair, except
you wouldn't be as important, so no one would give you a cool chair
to talk around him. So like, I don't know why Stephen Hawking cheated
on his wife with like his workers, social workers. How is he gonna
with another chair? What are you talking about? Yeah, he sat in
a different chair jack me off. And then she was like, wait,
I don't don't keep doing it. This is not supposed It was somebody else.
It was somebody else with the with the L A L S. Right,
it was it was another was it? I actually don't know who would
think? So I remember there was I remember there was like a like video
footage of a chair. There was a video of him in a chair all
fucked up, and he was wheeling up to another woman in a chair equally
as fucked up. And my hands don't work. Okay, never mind,
this is I remember. I remember so so I'm remembering what this memory is.
It's literally a joke from family guy. So it's not real. I
know the joke. I actually, yeah, yeah, I actually know exactly
what you're up until now. You know, up until now, I thought
that was just a real fact about Stephen Hawking, that like he hooked up
with another they're fucking do we have sex? I wouldn't. I wouldn't do
this personally, Like, I just there's there's too few things I love in
this world that I just I can't sacrifice any of them. Yeah, and
also I love to hate certain things too, so like, I mean,
there's there's some enjoyment that I get out of those good feels good. I
feel like a good trade. Let's see, would you sacrifice getting rid of
like a Matt Walsh, but sacrificing the Mike armand Trout actor. No,
Now, keep in mind Mike, uh, keep in mind that Matt Walks
is probably responsible for a lot of LGBTQ people being beaten up in a few
deaths and and definitely bomb threats at hospitals and shit, so right right,
yes, but still no but but but the performance that he gives is still
so good. I'm torn. That's a hard one though, because I was
when you agreed and you're fucking knit? Why why did you? Well,
Mike, I didn't know you were racist. What do you expect? Look
around you? Because look around you, Walter. Everybody's me, everybody's be.
Your wife is me, your children and me, you, Doug is
me. The Sun is me, likes Walton, the Sun, the just
with Mike Irmatron's face telling tempy style going I'm hot. Next question, please
please, the next question? Alright, alright, Nicki ziggy nicky, And
he's like writing a kind of question to prove I'm an active member of this
uh to active member of this Patreon. Have you guys ever heard of the
fascinating phenomenon of yankee candles receiving a bunch of negative reviews of people angrily,
of people angry the candles have no smell, coinciding with a new wave of
COVID that's awesome. Oh yes, yes, I have heard that. I
have heard that that there's whenever there's a rise that yeah, those negative reviews
of a specific guess there's no fucking smell at it isn't And then that's when
you know. That's when you have to be careful. It's like it's like
dogs when they know the o the weather. It's just someone's about to go
down. It's like a it's it's a fucking hilarious phenomenon. And also it's
it's hilarious, but it's also maddening because I can't stand all stupid people are
where they're like they're blaming the like, oh it doesn't I'm like, what
about everything else? You fucking dick? I don't know. So would you
trade mm hmm down? And I'm thinking about no, because because now I'm
thinking about like what I would trade, like if if I could get rid
of my sense of smell or something. I don't think I don't think,
I don't think, I don't want. I don't think I would because eating
wouldn't be as good. Yeah, yeah, but then I would also be
thinner again, because then I would have no reason to eat fucking delicious like
pizza and stuff. I think I would get rid of. I think I
think if I was God, I would get I would get rid of hand
jobs. I think they are the worst of all of the worst sexual things.
Yeah, yeah, they are very just like, get the fuck off
me, whatever, Get the fuck off me. You really what you're doing,
You don't know what you're doing. Leave me the fuck alive. I
can do it better. Let's get angry like I've got. I've gotten like
I've felt like anger in my heart. It's anger absolutely because I'm just like,
why is this is such a waste. Yeah, it's like it's a
waste of it's a waste of calories, it's a waste of energy, it's
a waste of memory. Yeah, it's just I got offended one so like
because I remember like a girl I was saying it was like offered, like
can I can I give you a hand shop or whatever? And I'm like,
no, bitch, what I would absolutely not. So no, you're
like adamantly against them. I really hate them, like i've I've It's I
don't know, man, I mean, I'm not like to me, it's
just like, well, if that's the only the other like option I would
easily rather just do anything else. I would rather go home. That's kind
of crazy to me. I would rather play a video game, says giving
me a hand up. I'm slap them in the mouth as hard as I
can. Y'all are just like wil now because I'm to me, it's kind
of like the way. To me, it's like any like sexual acts or
whatever because somebody wants there was a mean they compared to the pizza, and
I totally agree. Right, there's like even like bad pizza. Fucking it's
bread, sauce and cheese. It's yeah, it's edible, Like you know
what, I'm still eat It's the only thing to eat. I'm made it.
I'm not gonna fucking throw it on the ground and be like, oh,
I'm such a fucking superior fucking I like like my my homie, my
homie Brock, we call him five star Brock because of that shit. He
only eats the finest things. Were like, fuck you, that's that's I
think that. I think that is me in this area. Yea, I
will I them like some weird fucking like something happened to you that, Like,
No, they're just not good. They're just not good. Nobody knows
what the fuck they're doing. It frustrates me too, because I know what
I'm doing with their equipment more than they do. And it's like that by
feel like you're really, I don't think it bothers me. It bothers the
hell out of me. Absolutely, I think you're that. I think I
mean, unfortunately, I just I don't. I don't believe that a second.
I believe it a hundred percent. Don't I think I think you're I
think if I feel like, say, maybe some people told you some shit
and maybe you fucking booster ego, but there's no way that you know how
to operate a pussy better than a girl just knows how to know. That's
what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I can
I can work with them with my hands better than they can work with me
one hundred percent of the time, Like one percent of the time. It
sounds like you have some spec there's no special stipulation. It's just they don't
know what the fuck they're doing. Okay, so okay, so the time
everything, there's nothing too beating off. That's why they're not good. There's
nothing to it. No, no, no, no, no, there's
there's there's absolutely technique. If you think there's fucking real technique, all there
is is just one specific motion. You're going up and down and a little
bit of a twist. Are you fucking serious? Subtlety, subtlety, No,
that's your fucking hand fitting your fucking groove of your dick, and that
that's why it doesn't feel the same, because it's not there. It's it's
not their their hand is not your hand. That's what you're actually coming.
Listen, listen, don't don't look. Don't get mad at me because I'm
not eating cheese nips for dinner, all right, Like I need a meal,
I want a good im I want my five styles. Let me put
it this way, let me put this away. A fucking a pocket pussy.
That vibration still is still not a pussy, right, Like it does
a lot of cool things and shit, but it is nice. It's better.
Last question, fucking whatever saying. Ladies line up and beat him off
and then change his mind, like like crowder dude, that would be an
amazing change. My hand drops are bad, change my mind, Oh my
god. Okay, let's last one. Last one, stop with the Britain
slander. It already sucks here waiting for somebody to say that for the records,
y'all suck. I actually really like, I'll never let the UK live
this down. You guys somehow lost control of America when we were at our
most fucking terrible version of ourselves, and you guys still lost. I don't
know about that. It's probably worse now, Absolutely crazy to say such a
Yeah. I just literally the only two people think the Boston Tea Party era
America is worse than it is now? Do I think jumping tea in the
ocean is worse than? That's proto America pretty much pedophile pedophile billionaires, you
know, with with yes we were pathetic, then at least now we can
defend ourselves. Then we just decided to say no enough, and they were
like, okay, Broe, you just so what you mean is what you
mean? Isn't weakest? You mean weakest? Yeah? Read the question.
Somebody somebody to get about out of here? Where's that fucking where's that Vonville
Kaine where we're talking about grab your neck and breaks your neck, hopefully paralyzes
you. The worst person ourselves, the worst person on ourselves is probably like
I don't know what like fucking not not that one not uh, that's I
think, No, yeah, definitely, I think when the weakest, when
they just that's like that's when we had that's when we had the least power,
for sure, belt buckles on their hats when they first showed up.
But the nerves anyway, pilgrim, I would beat the pilgrim. I'd put
them in a hospital, Dude, I'd put them in a fucking hospital tent
that they got a built in a ten day fucking bath that I'd kill them,
kill all of them, all the Mayflower, all those ships show you
things. They would die if I coughing, they would die. So true.
Actually, that is an ironically totally real like That's what's so funny about
the concept of time travel to me is because like there's so many diseases that
we we have like innate to us that are just not effective anymore because of
like antibiotics or just like generalized like herd immunity. So if like if we
went back in time, we would wreak absolute fucking havoc. Yeah, just
bring up bring just like what did you say? Just just bring up just
right around a sucking bicycle, coughing. Just here. What the fuck is
that contraption, Lady Meredith, Hey, oh, I don't. He starts
blood out of his he starts popping up out of his eyes. Blood feel
and he died. I feel quite posh, and then a native joy you
he dies. I was. I can't. I can't smell I was blessed
by a wizards anymore. This is glorious. I can't smell my own unwashed
pilgrim ass. I'm living in I'm living at absolute I'm living at an absolute
ecstasy. I'm related all times. My wife was my wife here no longer
bothers me. We've had four children. It is amazing, for real,
you know, it is sincerely fucking crazy that humans had sex at all before,
Like like the idea of hygiene not being a complete deal breaker for most
of human history. Well the thing and the well, the thing is this
hygiene was prevalent in several cultures, but not in European Indian culture they had
hygiene was a prominent and South American a native at culture that was. Hygiene
was prevalent in Asian culture, Hyde is prevalent. Europeans didn't shower often they
were smelling gross everywhere else. We're like, yo, eventually you gotta get
into water and clean yourself. For them, they were like British, British,
French, Spanish blah blah blah, which our once a month. I
did hear and I never fact checked this. I heard this when I was
a kid, and I never fact checked that. Uh. In medieval times
they would specifically carry around handkerchiefs because of how disgusting people would smell and cover
their noses. Like, I've never fact checked that, but I guess it's
impossible really to do that. You don't really know if you experienced it.
But like I think, I don't know, man, it's crazy, dude,
Like you're ancient Europeans, fucking crazy shit man. They used to pick
the plaque out of their teats and use it as moose. Is that I
see? Would you say saying preposterous? It's so crazy? But I'm also
like, there's a chance that he might be the world, isn't it crazy?
I look back every day and I'm like, the Europeans really ruined the
world for like black people in general, but like it like little slip bro
because they were Danish, because they kept fighting each other. That's why they
kept attacking one another. And they were like, we gotta go somewhere else.
We're all gonna die. And it just made it everything else. The
world's proname. My name is cuddles with And I shipped up my back and
I didn't shower anymore. Twice a year. Vexible his bed, his bed
chemicals. Pretty cool. He's like a rock star and like or like not
a rock star, but like this famous figure in like early Europeans, like,
I ship up my head back and I don't clean it. I take
two showers. He's like, whoa, whoa, that's more bats than I've
ever taken. Yo, can't even how long do you think you could go
without showering before? You like us, like us couldn't take into them.
They're fine, that's they don't shower. I guess we did. It's incredible.
We did not even answer this guy. We just he masked us to
stop immediately, way harder on his answers to smelly nigga dive. I gotta
be real. I totally lost it. Yeah, I totally lost the question.
I don't know where, Yeah, what is it? Keep finding it?
Look look fresh. I'll just say one quick I'm doing one quick cursory
thing and then we'll wrap it up. Yeah, the English English niggas,
man, they're all right. I might have said this before when I when
I was coming back from Greece, uh in twenty seventeen, I met up
at at Heathrow. We had a bunch of British fucks and they all we
all met up and had a few pints and it was it was really fucking
cool. I actually really like British people. The only things I don't like
is is is their hip hop and and their baked beans. That's about it.
Can I just sound very honest? Yeah, that'd be very honest.
Okay, man, I hope every British person that is interesting that isn't related
to me gets stars. That's it. That's our statement, Okay, every
single honest it's not really I mean they got they when they when they owned
Hong Kong many they got it. Do you remember when they were all dying
because they didn't have AC's Okay, so he says, so so sat with
the Britain signer. It already sucks here, suf you hooligans say, bunch
of hooligans first time Patron, a long time subscriber here, what was the
what was the infamous character of your area when you were younger? Mine was
a man called Purple Aki who was known for squeezing men's muscles in gyms.
I swear I'm not lying. Google it. We didn't have anybody like this
growing up where I was from, anybody that was like or at least not
that I was old enough to really pay attention. But recent, Oh my
god, you serious, Kevin. You forgot I totally forgot about mysterious Kevin.
He would just show up. He would just he wasn't like a he
wasn't like a he wasn't a like a neighborhood figure though, Like he was
just like in our group in school, we just knew this guy kind of
a little bit. His name was Kevin, and he would join us for
like parties and get together sometimes, but most most of the time he was
never really there, and we would always like run into him in like really
bizarre like would run into him like, oh, the one time I go
hiking in like three years and then I run into Mysterious Kevin at like the
top of a mountain, or like, oh, I I to him under
a bridge, or like, oh I ran into him, like I don't
even like in a fucking sewer or something like. The strangest fucking thing.
Mysterious Kevin's a changelings. He's an identity that several changelings take on and they
go throughout the world as Mysterious Kevin. Because that's that's so crazy. Totally
forgot. I totally forgot he was around sometimes. I just knew that we
all knew him for some reason. But I don't remember meeting him. I
don't remember. It's strange. I don't know. I can't explain mysterious Kevin.
I was going to say, not when I was growing up, but
around here currently where I live now, we have that Burbank sniffer. Who
was that guy that was going arounds assholes and Barnes and noble right, the
Barnes and noble Barns of that I go to. But what a fucking you
know, dude, I thought I heard that he got caught or something.
Yeah, that he broke out of prison. Yeah, I like that fucking
little I heard sniffed the bars the gate open, the prisons gate. He
sniffed the structural integrity off of the bars. That's crazy. Let's move on,
Let's go out of here. That makes a lot of sense. Actually,
okay, let's get the hell out of believe it. These episodes are
getting too fucking two fucking apoperfect two perfect. What you mean we should start
just like we should start just letting the questions lead. Honestly, I've actually
I've I've I think I've Yeah, I've wanted that. Actually, it's just
it's just better content because foot is better content. Nothing. I feel like
the only time we really need to talk about something when something actually fucking happens.
Yeah, you know it's something too. It's like every time something happens,
I feel like it gets too serious, you know what I mean,
Like we have like oh, it's like because we're always like should we say
what we think? Should we like entertain We're not this way. It's fucking
yeah, we gotta turn on the comedians switch when that shit happens, when
the series should happens. I'm like, I'm all locked in like preaching and
shit on my way. I needed to say something stupid. Yeah, we
need to have fun anyway. These are all of our twenty five dollars and
up patrons. We thank you very much. Remember you can come out.
Remember you can. Okay, remember you can come on over to patreon dot
com, slash the stark tank and help us out in appreciated box, send
a bucket of com to Derek's p O box. I want to come a
big, old big want no lid. I want I want that thing to
be him. I want that thing to have splashed all over the fucking place.
But it's it's it's no lid. It's a saran wrapped over. The
fucking man delivers it. He's like he didn't see any of he didn't,
but the little drop of it he didn't know. He's a gee man.
He's like, signed here for your bucket. A come worry, Let's move
on. Let's get the funk out of here, alright O. Lord of
Drone strikes. Listening to Sweeney makes me consider as him fuck face unstoppable.
There goes my homo. Watch him as he blows Keith David but British British
twenty two episodes to go. I'm coming for y'all. This guy's catching up.
Quick walk this gay suck this gay walk this gay suck this gay Give
me yo, dick bad Okay, jolly old dipshit back from Birmingham. Yanti,
I've seen things in this house. I've never spoken of the cock that
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till I prolapse. Oh my god, we could do that. Till I
prolapse. I'm filling this ass as long as you drill into this day.
I suck cocks, so you never say that I'm not feeling gay. I
don't know. I don't know what it says. It cuts off after that,
but till I prolapse, it's pretty. That is that is too good?
Actually that I feel like I should find weird al Yankevic and be like,
I'm gonna take this, and you can't take this from me, even
though he hasn't done anything in years. Uh, the only snark tank patron
you have both justifiably invariably shot and killed not just one, but two people.
Congratulations on your murder because you're because your dick. Your dick is on
my lips. Because your dick, your dick is on my lips. I
love sucking on guys. I don't know what this is. Smoking that Qui,
oh sick, Okay, we're getting some Dracula flow. Uh smoking that
quigon gin Vietnamese Phillip's head runts. That does sound like some type of drug
or a gin. It does, Sweeney like my weeenie people. Uh,
probably the only and likely last San Carlos Depache that listens to the snark tank
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is dick is long? I'm glad it's black. Yes, I dudes tied
or loose? Man, I'm not know what that is. I'm like they're
stumping us. Man, Oh is that gay CDC? Gay CDC? Is
that like CDC? Wait? Why would it be CDC? I'm stumped.
I don't know. But usually when I when I see CDC, I think
of Colin Chris Dustin, because that's how people write into sacred symbols, when
they go like, hey, CDC, oh, that's probably a reference for
you guys maybe, but like it's gay CDC. But it's not, because
it's clearly a gay parody. Shit, but like it's but is it?
Like it is it supposed to be? Like run DMC? But you thought
like, oh, maybe he thinks Kingston is spelled with a c is.
Chris Kingston, Chris Kingston, Derek. Is that what? That is?
What was the lyrics again? Oh? Colin Chris Derek. Wait, Colin,
Chris Dustin, Chris Kingston, Derek. That is kind of It's kind
of interesting anyway, shit and a lot of cousin does ye anyway? The
Mask Too, starring Paul Blarts, mall cop in black face, help come
in my ass. You're drilling me. You're drilling me. All I want
is your ooze. The Kill Caucasian Container, The Cracker Breil for Gays.
Keith David tinfoil tyrant because I'm a hex girl and I'm gonna put my cum
on you, putting blackface on my blight bulbs. Keith David raped my dragon
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bend my dick coming just as sings and the straits I tried to sway.
Come to the gay side and we'll play. Uh she pipkin on my pippa
possum. Yes, that's my real name. Aaron Rodgers said that he listened
to the sounds of dolphins mating to help his recovery. That's real. Look
it up. Oh my god, that's fucking bizarre. Man, Dude,
that guy's fucked. Bro, he's going through it. He's going through it.
Man, he's probably having like a moment. But I don't feel like
trying to make a joke today. Domination Average clip energy. Gag me or
release me parasite. Hey man, you know sometimes you got it in you.
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like, I'm the cume man, I'll feel your come man, bloated up
with cum man. Oh full of cum man. I don't know what that
is. I don't listen to Billy Eilish enough. It's your boy shawnny D.
And by the way, that's not like, oh, I'm too cool
to listen to Billy. I just don't. I just haven't gotten around to
actually bothering. Keith Fuck Keith David, y'all are sleeping on your I went
all. He's the goat crazy sentence that I will always provide a disclaimer for
when I read it. Matt Wats is the hero of our times. We've
been gang for life. Ben and Jerry's Funky Monkey Indie butter knif on YouTube.
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there's a there's a dick. I think we're missing. It's in my
ass. It's almost jizzen. Nice, shut up, dude, this fucking
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it's gay bowser and it's he's singing about penis instead of peaches. Mario,
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blue. Not exactly the right amount of syllables, because I think the line
is a thousand troops of coopers couldn't keep me from you, which, by
the way, is an excellent rhyme. Uh but yeah, yeah, that's
a hard thing to sing though, because it's Jack Black and his voice is
crazy. Yeah. Waits like five eighty three. I feel gay fucky.
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t Rex arms for chasing that guy with scissors on his feet. I don't
got time. Let's you've never seen this video. This is a real video,
actually for real, you've never seen the wait? Hold on if I
certainly don't remember man, I don't want to no arms scissors ah man.
Jordan Peterson all right, I'm Jordan Feederson. I love feet feeders. I'm
Jordan. I'm Jordan Peterson, and I love feet away to a special specifically,
the toes really speak to the character of the individual. Yeah, so
this is the t Rex. This is this is the t rex. Guy
with with scissors. He's he's got he's got scissors on his feet. I
can't. Oh you, isn't it scary anyway? Oh my, it's very
scary. It's very fucking scary. Look, dude, it's scary. It's
menacing. It's like those videos of like JPEGs chasing people through half life levels.
It's like there's something deeply unsettling about it. I don't know why.
He's making me a little nashes. It's a nauseating thing to see the first
person Keith David uh Gay, Michael Jackson b like, you can lick my
you can fuck my smooth booty hole. Come come come exit, exit exit
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fucking land something. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's the yeah. Yeah.
Pre Rose Blake E nine six, Gay Jona Gamison editor editor in chief of
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ask you on fuel of trash Texas status salad and the same clown pussy SUHK
take on my ass. Here is Nicky Ziggy Sweeney's chicken Balty arguments you want
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E D. Every time I come sounds like sCOD word walking. Jackson's DuPont
badly Brave Huggard Derek Duck Hunt Bulk, the first disciple of the Fitness eight
or in Prejerian Hunter Memphis won the Angers crown and is always running out of
the list. The King of Haphazard. Uh, thank you all for your
unwavering support. We appreciate hit it uh and uh yeah, I mean fucking
we'll see it. I guess shut up, shut up, shut up,
Walter, he said, sorry, Walter. He came all over me.
I didn't know what to make of it. Shut the fuck up, Magneto.
I did everything ride and they came on me.