WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.960 --> 00:00:08.960 Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to week one of the twenty fourteen 2 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:29.280 Missus Scrypt dude, god, dude, oh y, that is right. 3 00:00:29.480 --> 00:00:33.719 Oh you know the song you've been waiting all your long I hope you're singing 4 00:00:33.759 --> 00:00:40.799 along right now. Hella la la lu. That's right, everybody, We're 5 00:00:40.840 --> 00:00:46.960 back a new streamlined format. That's right, y'all about it, But that's 6 00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:51.000 right. From a from a bloated, lumbering six weeks, We're gonna just 7 00:00:51.159 --> 00:00:57.359 slice that down to a pretty spelt five to a sort of loaded five. 8 00:00:58.039 --> 00:01:00.240 That's right. Oh, but it's time. But what matters is pageantry. 9 00:01:00.399 --> 00:01:07.159 What matters is grace. What matters is elegance and lethality. Right, fur 10 00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:11.280 claws, leather skin, oh god, got it all. These are the 11 00:01:11.319 --> 00:01:15.359 things that I dream of. I would sing a really creepy version of of 12 00:01:15.439 --> 00:01:21.239 a of a sound of music song. Oh which one? This one? 13 00:01:22.120 --> 00:01:29.079 Long scary noses and victims are bitten creatures that feed on your dreams and on 14 00:01:29.239 --> 00:01:40.200 kittens that long leather tail, satin and dinnasting. And these are a few 15 00:01:40.239 --> 00:01:49.719 of my fitted things. Nice with avice, slurch flies. Oh right, 16 00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:59.079 The Alba store explited, leading so Yes, this is the time for magnificence. 17 00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:00.840 That's right. Let's tell you a little bit about how this is gonna 18 00:02:00.879 --> 00:02:06.480 work this year. Yeah, obviously explain it to me and also then, 19 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:12.000 but mostly to me. We sat here for a good ten fifteen minutes being 20 00:02:12.039 --> 00:02:14.840 like, no, it should be brackets like this, and no, it's 21 00:02:14.840 --> 00:02:17.919 gonna be too long. Let's not do that. So let's have him vote 22 00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:21.759 twice in a week. This was all me, by the way, Dave 23 00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:24.479 was the sole voice of reason, being like, no, let's not do 24 00:02:24.520 --> 00:02:29.039 that. Here's what we're gonna do this year. We're not doing full episodes. 25 00:02:29.479 --> 00:02:32.520 Uh, these are gonna be little, little little nuggets each week. 26 00:02:32.639 --> 00:02:37.800 It's a little after DNA mint because I love you and I want to get 27 00:02:37.879 --> 00:02:46.439 breath fresh with capt delicious. Yes, and that person is gone. Okay, 28 00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:52.080 here's how here's how it's gonna work this year. We're gonna have three 29 00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:59.520 weeks of cryptids, and we're gonna have three cryptid per week yep grand total 30 00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:06.479 of nine. And then you our esteemed and luxurious listening, yes, festively 31 00:03:06.479 --> 00:03:12.240 a dawn and only the finest levels fuzz oh, if you're so inclined. 32 00:03:13.199 --> 00:03:16.840 Weather Egyptian cotton. Oh that is also an option. You could be bathed 33 00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:20.840 in blood and we'd still love you. Oh yeah, I was wrong. 34 00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:30.719 He's back. You're gonna pick from the top three our twenty fourteen Miscrypted winner. 35 00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:34.840 Yep. So this is gonna hopefully streamline things a bit, not drag 36 00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:38.439 stuff through the mud. No, unless it lives in the mud, and 37 00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:43.520 we're gonna drag your asses right through it. Also kicking and screaming, you 38 00:03:43.759 --> 00:03:50.599 screaming and Whalen by voting Whalen and the Jennings, you're trying to think of 39 00:03:50.599 --> 00:03:53.120 the next thing. I'm just saying, Mama tried. By casting your vote, 40 00:03:53.319 --> 00:04:00.800 you get entered if you so choose into the twenty fourteen Miscrypted Prize yep 41 00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:05.199 yep. One unlucky winner will come out on top with that one cryptid from 42 00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:11.280 this year's batch. The prize package, as Emerson can so clearly tell you, 43 00:04:12.199 --> 00:04:18.639 includes not only delicious candies, but a homemade handmaid lovingly heat transferred T 44 00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:25.160 shirt yep yep um, which at this point will be only the second blurry 45 00:04:25.160 --> 00:04:31.040 photos T shirt in existence, but also your very own personal Golden Goatman trophy. 46 00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:36.759 You're the symbol, your replica golden goatman, the symbol of magnificence. 47 00:04:36.879 --> 00:04:42.480 That's right, that's right. You you you may get a Louisiana survival kit 48 00:04:42.720 --> 00:04:46.680 in there. You may get a book of some type. Yep. You 49 00:04:46.680 --> 00:04:50.040 may get a tourilet full of something. Emerson got a toilet. Yeah, 50 00:04:50.040 --> 00:04:54.279 that's true. He got a little little toilet, not like a full size 51 00:04:54.319 --> 00:04:57.399 one. I'm like, not a real one. There's a seventy pound ceramic 52 00:04:57.519 --> 00:05:05.439 joke. Put that somewhere. It's for a bit. Yeah, I had 53 00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:09.600 to get rid of one. I'm sorry, just why not throw it in 54 00:05:09.639 --> 00:05:13.639 there? Uh? Yeah. If you go to blurry photos dot org after 55 00:05:13.680 --> 00:05:18.879 you listen to this little uh snippet which is turning into a very large episode 56 00:05:18.959 --> 00:05:23.519 as we speak, why um, what was making that happen? If you 57 00:05:23.560 --> 00:05:27.600 go to the website, then you'll find the link to cast to vote. 58 00:05:27.920 --> 00:05:30.959 Yes, uh, enter your email in there and then that way we'll keep 59 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:36.519 track of who's voted and who gets You get one entry per vote, and 60 00:05:36.600 --> 00:05:41.079 you can you can only vote once a week, but you get a grand 61 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:45.120 total of four possible entries. They all go into my magic fez and then 62 00:05:45.720 --> 00:05:49.360 we we pull that out. We five and uh and we'll announce Emerson. 63 00:05:49.519 --> 00:05:55.279 Is this the time you establish a dynasty or shout another U supper take the 64 00:05:55.319 --> 00:06:00.680 throne? Does someone get stabbed in the back? That's right, and it's 65 00:06:00.680 --> 00:06:04.560 important to note that Emerson really did receive the prize package. Listen, this 66 00:06:04.680 --> 00:06:12.360 ain't no King of Halloween situation. Fancy faced, great Cat. Should you 67 00:06:12.439 --> 00:06:17.000 win, you shall receive your prize package. Great cat, You're still getting 68 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:23.000 the certificate. No one's forgotten our plans simply become more elaborate. That's true. 69 00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:26.600 That's true. That's true. Yeah, we gotta cross some teas and 70 00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:30.839 dots and lowercase jay's before that happens. But anyway, that's how it's gonna 71 00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:35.920 work this year. Only three weeks, only three per episode, but I 72 00:06:35.959 --> 00:06:41.839 think I think it'll keep it fresh and funky and and uh hip hopaty good. 73 00:06:42.120 --> 00:06:46.199 That's right. So uh this week, Dave, what do we have 74 00:06:46.279 --> 00:06:50.160 on the docket? Oh my god? Well, um, who are the 75 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:56.279 lovely asterisk ladies that will be parading in front of us? Man, thank 76 00:06:56.319 --> 00:06:59.959 you, mister blow. These elegant ladies hail from all over the world. 77 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:09.720 They've all been assembled here for our ogrement. First ludely drag your eyes across 78 00:07:09.800 --> 00:07:14.439 this fact specimen. Also real quick, we've added a category, a judging 79 00:07:14.480 --> 00:07:23.519 category, ugulation, where the argularity were unparalleled. In this particular he only 80 00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:28.560 scored a seven point six in augularity. I would ask all of you to 81 00:07:28.839 --> 00:07:32.680 cast your mind's eye, Ludeley in the direction of our first contestant, hailing 82 00:07:32.879 --> 00:07:42.079 from seventy percent of the world's surface. Mermaids. Whoever it's watery, there's 83 00:07:42.120 --> 00:07:45.879 a mermaid to be found, except for in rivers. That's Selkie territory. 84 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:50.720 Oh, don't that up? They get really mad? Who else why? 85 00:07:50.920 --> 00:07:56.720 The second elegant, lady Asterisk, goes by the sultry name of Jeff, 86 00:07:56.800 --> 00:08:01.600 and she is a he, and he is a talking man goose from ingle 87 00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:05.480 Land. Oh, Jeff the talking mongoose, Welcome to the stage, you 88 00:08:05.560 --> 00:08:11.000 son of a bitch. And third from the land where they're just called fries 89 00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:18.360 and it's just called kissing luc from France. She is something of a serpent. 90 00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:26.519 Who are likes the tons? That's your lineup this week, folks, 91 00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:33.799 Mermaids, Jeff the talking mongoose, So let's start out in jolly hang what 92 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:39.480 she got there? Flora with my boy Jeff leaves behind his shed, lots 93 00:08:39.519 --> 00:08:45.879 to hang out with little girls. Fancies a bit of a story, Jeff 94 00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:48.639 the talking mongoose. So all right, let's set the scene. This is 95 00:08:48.759 --> 00:08:54.159 Dolby on the Isle of Man, the town of Dolby in nineteen thirties. 96 00:08:54.559 --> 00:09:01.080 You get the house of James Irving, and you also get the Dolby spook 97 00:09:01.840 --> 00:09:07.440 boogetty Booguinty. Papers began running the curious story of a mongoose that could talk 98 00:09:07.799 --> 00:09:13.360 and inhabited the Irving household. James and Margaret Irving had a thirteen year old 99 00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:20.000 daughter named Voire. Is that is that how you pronounced it? It's a 100 00:09:20.159 --> 00:09:28.120 voyage. It's pronounced froy lavin quick zoology check the mongoose not native to the 101 00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:31.679 Isle of Man, no nor England in general. I would venture to get 102 00:09:33.080 --> 00:09:41.480 Europe something of a traveled mongoose Satan Jeff's first rodeo. So the Irving family 103 00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:48.399 claimed to have seen a small yellowish weasel type creature with a bushy tail on 104 00:09:48.440 --> 00:09:52.279 their farm, and later they saw it in the house. And then they 105 00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:58.320 heard scratching and growling behind the walls, and apparently after a while of mimicking 106 00:09:58.480 --> 00:10:07.399 sound from animal noises to nursery rhymes. This creature learned to speak in a 107 00:10:07.559 --> 00:10:15.480 very high, screechy voice. What's all this? They nay you what mate? 108 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:20.759 He has a bit of a problem with syntax. Yeah, yeah, 109 00:10:20.120 --> 00:10:24.320 yeah, but you know, I mean the talking mongooses, other impossive. 110 00:10:26.159 --> 00:10:30.799 It conversed with the family and told them it was the spirit of a mongoose 111 00:10:31.039 --> 00:10:37.120 born in New Delhi, India in eighteen fifty two. Got a bit turned 112 00:10:37.159 --> 00:10:43.279 around. He's just trying to nip Downny the corner bit of curry got lost. 113 00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:50.639 Oiler, man, what you're doing. If it's not too much trouble, 114 00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:56.559 cup of tea, they'd be right noise right now? Than please, 115 00:10:56.159 --> 00:11:01.200 thank you, please, thank you, mam. It would help around the 116 00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:07.519 house. It would cause some mischief here and there, like mongoose do I'm 117 00:11:07.559 --> 00:11:09.759 doing the vest I can, but I mean, I gotta out of the 118 00:11:09.879 --> 00:11:11.600 mongoose. I'm gonna get into it, right, I'm gonna get in, 119 00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:18.200 gotta get me taste. This is gonna get real. And it would just 120 00:11:18.279 --> 00:11:22.679 generally haunt the house, kind of like a polder geist. Oh wow, 121 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:28.000 yeah uh. And apparently it liked the family, didn't so much care for 122 00:11:28.120 --> 00:11:33.080 outsiders. Yeah, I could get quite sassy with them. What's old? 123 00:11:33.200 --> 00:11:43.879 Is then you shutting the door? Well that's the thickest I was. Uh, 124 00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:48.799 I was coming over that a man, it is Christmas Eve. That's 125 00:11:48.879 --> 00:11:56.159 not what I asked? Is it skinks from next door? Now, Jeff 126 00:11:56.279 --> 00:12:01.720 be be a dear? No, no, no, there I was enjoy 127 00:12:01.799 --> 00:12:13.240 a spot of j morning. More out you understand that morning? Come on 128 00:12:13.360 --> 00:12:16.200 in? Is it Butcher is at the door? Let's see it was? 129 00:12:16.240 --> 00:12:22.360 Eh? All right? Tabloids went cuckoo for this thing, the apples and 130 00:12:22.480 --> 00:12:28.120 pass Oh uh. No journalists or photographers ever clearly witnessed him in action. 131 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:39.039 What um Most people believe Jeff was really Voiree, the daughter who was speaking 132 00:12:39.080 --> 00:12:45.279 into the walls and making up stories as such, No child would ever make 133 00:12:45.360 --> 00:12:48.279 up a story about it. Imaginary, ridiculous. I don't know, I 134 00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:52.960 don't know. Apparently the walls were of the type of construction where it had 135 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:58.080 a little room in between the outside the inside walls, and it carried sound 136 00:12:58.120 --> 00:13:01.080 really well, so you could actually, like if there was a hole in 137 00:13:01.159 --> 00:13:05.000 one section, you could speak into it and it would reverberate and sound like 138 00:13:05.000 --> 00:13:09.720 it was coming from anywhere. You'd think, I'm a little girl, and 139 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:13.919 I what you just staying right? Then I'll show you what is it? 140 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:20.960 I'm girl going doing right like anybody? Is it just me? Hal well? 141 00:13:20.080 --> 00:13:22.799 Jeff to talking mongoose? Ain't it put up with? He's Jeff? 142 00:13:24.080 --> 00:13:28.759 What an ass? Ye? I'm sorry, I just it's it's misplaced rage 143 00:13:28.759 --> 00:13:31.759 and I'm frustrated by my own ability. I'm not in India right now. 144 00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:37.480 I'm out of sorts. Wish I was home. I'm home sick. I've 145 00:13:37.480 --> 00:13:39.600 got mates back, They're waiting for me. They probably think I'm dead. 146 00:13:41.399 --> 00:13:45.320 It's a tough position to be in. So forgive me for maybe having my 147 00:13:45.559 --> 00:13:50.600 guard up more than you'd expect. I'm a mongoose. I'm looking for Cobra's 148 00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:58.600 everywhere, Norman to be found, Nah nah ruddy Saint Patrick. People have 149 00:13:58.720 --> 00:14:03.799 theorized that maybe she could have been inspired by Dyard Kipling's book Ricky Tikitavi, 150 00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:09.120 which was very popular at the time about a chalking mongoose ye be friends of 151 00:14:09.200 --> 00:14:13.759 family and such. The Irvings moved away from the house in nineteen thirty nine, 152 00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:20.360 and papers reported that the new owner had shot and killed some weird creature 153 00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:31.240 shortly after moving in. What so they said, Hey, but since it 154 00:14:31.279 --> 00:14:35.440 was nineteen thirty nine, it kind of got forgotten pretty soon thereafter, because 155 00:14:37.039 --> 00:14:39.360 well, what was there a bigger news story was a bigger news story came 156 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:45.440 out, So the Holy Gully being done somewhere on a flagpole, So twenty 157 00:14:45.480 --> 00:14:50.559 years after its peak, they thought it was the resurgence. Yeah, yeah, 158 00:14:50.720 --> 00:14:54.039 Martha, Martha, get out here. It's back, the Holy Gully. 159 00:14:54.120 --> 00:15:01.919 It's back. So there, there's there's a lot to this, a 160 00:15:01.960 --> 00:15:05.240 lot of details stuff. A lot of people think maybe in a hoax, 161 00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:07.600 but some people swear by it. So, uh, that's Jeff the talking 162 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:13.399 mongoose as a normal. As we're getting off, Tyson, hey, I 163 00:15:13.559 --> 00:15:20.080 have a little splshy splashy with the Mermaids. I mean they go back in 164 00:15:20.159 --> 00:15:24.679 history forever, the class. I've got numbers if you want them. Oh 165 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:31.159 my god, that wasn't a yes. Right, that wasn't a yes. 166 00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:35.480 Sculptures of half fish people have been found dating back more than four thousand years. 167 00:15:37.039 --> 00:15:41.799 What so there you go. That's right, Mermaids older than Jesus. 168 00:15:41.480 --> 00:15:46.360 Who do you think is more legit? Now? People mind equals blue? 169 00:15:46.519 --> 00:15:48.879 Oh my god, no, that's that's our new the more you know, 170 00:15:50.759 --> 00:15:58.360 mind equals the star that explodes. And these things are are much like a 171 00:15:58.399 --> 00:16:03.919 discussion flood. Myth Legends of murf folk are are very prevalent in in many 172 00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:10.200 cultures around the world. Cultures. Now you're probably wondering, Mmm, you 173 00:16:10.320 --> 00:16:15.799 keep saying mermaid, aren't there murm about the murmia? Well guess what when 174 00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:22.399 it's mister cryptid, maybe suck it? Yeah, suck X what X is 175 00:16:22.440 --> 00:16:33.159 equal to everything the soulful while you're still alive? Algebraic beat down? Um 176 00:16:33.320 --> 00:16:37.759 so, yeah, we're not talking about murrmad but uh, the murrf folk. 177 00:16:37.840 --> 00:16:45.240 The mermaid typically is human from the waist up up, fish scaly fish 178 00:16:45.240 --> 00:16:51.360 from the waist down down. Now. Fun fact, taxonomically, the murmaid, 179 00:16:51.639 --> 00:16:55.919 although being a quote unquote fish and having scales like a fishwood, the 180 00:16:55.919 --> 00:17:03.159 orientation of the fin is actually in line with a mammal with a mammalian physiology 181 00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:11.279 and not um an IOUs physiology what not up and down? Yeah? Yeah, 182 00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:18.759 a vertical versus a horizon. Uh, it's it's a dorso ventral structure. 183 00:17:18.839 --> 00:17:22.880 All right, all right, your dick's longer, shut up, shut 184 00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:30.319 up now, I gotta wipe all this piss off my wall from this contest 185 00:17:30.359 --> 00:17:40.240 we've been having. I get my get my piss map. That's something that 186 00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:48.839 will be added to the miscripted price package, the blurry photos piss mop soak 187 00:17:48.920 --> 00:17:55.400 it up. I have pisson contest with all your afraid. Yeah. They 188 00:17:55.440 --> 00:17:59.720 are extraordinarily popular in lore. Um everyone has seen it. There are movies 189 00:17:59.799 --> 00:18:03.160 and amated features. Some of them want to be part of your world. 190 00:18:03.000 --> 00:18:10.680 However, the classic mermaid she Ain't got no no seashell rasong come on Nope, 191 00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:15.200 nope, nope no. She's classically topless with perhaps long hair, so 192 00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:21.559 that she can be depicted on a map without the church burning you. Yeah. 193 00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:26.240 The other abilities their song, Oh yeah, this is their super weapon. 194 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:32.759 Their song can lure sailors to their deaths, whether uh bringing them to 195 00:18:32.920 --> 00:18:38.880 wreck their boats on shore or individually um mesmerize them into thinking it's time to 196 00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:45.599 jump into the water with these ladies, upon which they are alternately drowned or 197 00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:56.680 devoured wow yeah, or both drowned. Some stories have them with accessories too. 198 00:18:56.720 --> 00:18:59.880 They accessorize pretty well, like with a comb or a mirror. Yep, 199 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:03.079 which is pretty silly. They'll be combing out their long green hair, 200 00:19:03.799 --> 00:19:08.480 green hair is a popular themselves upon a rock, although if you're a Peter 201 00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:15.319 Pan fan, a Pan fan, Pan, they would have all assortment of 202 00:19:15.319 --> 00:19:18.759 of hair bond and red and purple and blue, and everyone knows the only 203 00:19:18.759 --> 00:19:25.440 acceptable color from Mermaid hair is red. I mean, look at this stuff, 204 00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:30.519 isn't it neat? Oh? Our crypto collection is not complete yet, 205 00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:34.839 but that's not a that's not a segue. I still have some things to 206 00:19:37.160 --> 00:19:45.400 it was a seg won't a segnee? There? There are I read some 207 00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:53.599 things that that said they're not all gracious hum physiologically that they're not described being 208 00:19:53.640 --> 00:20:00.440 so beautiful either. Some of them they have very like sloping foreheads and announced 209 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:04.319 jaws and webbed hands with claws on them. Yeah, those are like the 210 00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:08.960 truly nasty, vicious version. And also that's where you're getting to do. 211 00:20:10.119 --> 00:20:15.119 People theorizing that manatees, right, which are sea cows, sea cows, 212 00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:19.640 dugongs? Have you heard of these things? Yeah? Yeah, they those 213 00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:26.079 have been grouped under that umbrella. But they are thinking they get mistaken because 214 00:20:26.200 --> 00:20:33.319 when you're a sailor, When you're a sailor and you're out at see too, 215 00:20:33.880 --> 00:20:37.920 when you're a sailor and you're spotting something in the distance yep. Uh 216 00:20:38.680 --> 00:20:41.880 takes a while to get closer to it, and by that time, there 217 00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:47.160 it's already slipping beneath the waves, probably because there's this huge, hulking thing 218 00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:52.000 coming at it. But chances are you were probably already in mid masturbation anyway. 219 00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:56.240 And and uh, and you were drunk off your ass right off of 220 00:20:56.319 --> 00:21:00.839 grog yep or lime grow right, I was gonna say, which you had 221 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:04.680 inadvertently taken thinking it was keeping the scurvy at bay. And yet your here 222 00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:11.400 guns were getting puffy. Here here, visit the Scurvy Museum in Washington, 223 00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:15.079 d C. Yes, it's taste not an actual museum should be. In 224 00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:18.240 history, we said, they go back more than four thousand years. The 225 00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:26.759 Babylonians had a fish god called Oannus, and the Greeks had Triton. And 226 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:30.960 then, like you said, with the whole power of song, a comparison 227 00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:34.519 can be made to sirens, ye, of Greek mythology, which would lure 228 00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:40.240 sailors to their doom with their song. Yep. I think there's some some 229 00:21:40.359 --> 00:21:45.400 melding of folklore here and there. There's melding big and Irish mythology, ye, 230 00:21:45.640 --> 00:21:48.400 and the British Isles, and some stories even told of them coming to 231 00:21:48.480 --> 00:21:53.680 land and marrying and having a family. They got legs when they came to 232 00:21:53.759 --> 00:21:57.000 land. They didn't just like flop around and we're like, oh baby now, 233 00:21:57.119 --> 00:22:03.279 which stopped because of over hunting of the the very delicate ursula populate population. 234 00:22:04.279 --> 00:22:07.519 People didn't realize that they needed to be shepherds of the sea. They 235 00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:11.119 just thought they could take whatever they wanted. And there's a lot of oil 236 00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:22.680 in ursula and more unfortunate souls. We are precious treasures. How about the 237 00:22:22.720 --> 00:22:26.640 P. T. Barnum thing? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. P. 238 00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:30.960 T. Barnum who is If you don't know the name, you should 239 00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:37.519 because he's kind of in the news these days. Yeah, the the circus 240 00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:45.559 entrepreneur hey tune of the century exploitationists. Yeah, he fooled countless suckers out 241 00:22:45.559 --> 00:22:52.000 of their four bits with his Fiji mermaid. It was actually the corpse of 242 00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:56.359 a monkey with the torso sewn into a fish end. Yeah, which was 243 00:22:56.480 --> 00:23:00.640 placed in jar And I guarantee if you were to google that you've seen it 244 00:23:00.680 --> 00:23:03.079 before. It shows up in weird dumb places weekly world news. Well, 245 00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:07.799 we'll throw that up to this day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And 246 00:23:07.799 --> 00:23:11.680 and they're just it's oversaturated, like like you said, I mean, I 247 00:23:11.720 --> 00:23:15.880 think people get really got really into them over when when they saw the documentary 248 00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:22.599 The Little Mermaid and uh and it's follow up documentary what was it called Mermaids 249 00:23:23.160 --> 00:23:30.079 Discovered the Secret Known or what was the um Flounders Fun Fun Day or something. 250 00:23:30.680 --> 00:23:34.319 I don't know. Before that though, they people really got up in 251 00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:41.279 a dither over the documentary splash. So they've been documented trying to live amongst 252 00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:45.079 us, trying to make sense of their surroundings, usually with hilarious results. 253 00:23:45.119 --> 00:23:49.400 It's it's it's only anecdotal evidence that's a thorn, like all these shows that 254 00:23:49.400 --> 00:23:52.640 are coming on now and trying to fool people out of their four bits. 255 00:23:52.759 --> 00:23:56.480 Oh man, well, I mean, and I mean we've we covered this 256 00:23:56.599 --> 00:23:59.119 in a previous episode. I think it was a bunyp episode. Yeah, 257 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:04.119 so check that tangential to the actual subject of the episode. My my tirade 258 00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:11.000 on the horrible Discovery Channel abomination that they let loose so much so that, 259 00:24:11.079 --> 00:24:15.079 as we said then Noah, the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration had to issue 260 00:24:15.160 --> 00:24:22.240 a press release saying no, we do not confirm the existence of mermaids. 261 00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:25.920 It may not have been the Bundeer episode. That may have just been your 262 00:24:25.960 --> 00:24:29.559 rant on the sand Hill Crane that I'm thinking of. Probably I rant I 263 00:24:29.640 --> 00:24:33.160 rant a lot. So I guess you everything. Yeah, just go back 264 00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:36.480 and go through them all. Ye, So, any way to be sure 265 00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:45.839 that's mermaids. Lug glug glug. Finally on the cat walk we have from 266 00:24:45.880 --> 00:25:03.319 France Madame Memzille Ludac Biotech. All right, yeah, okay, we had 267 00:25:03.319 --> 00:25:04.319 to get that out of the way obviously, Yeah, because we're not going 268 00:25:04.359 --> 00:25:11.599 to do that again. Fortun on the Rhone River in southern France, sits 269 00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:17.480 the town of Beaucaire, an old place with a decent history. It's pretty 270 00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:22.640 decent, pretty for a small town. It sat along the first road built 271 00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:27.960 in the region by Romans whoa nice beaten next to the old train tracks. 272 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:33.559 It was the site of a huge trade fair for the Mediterranean region for hundreds 273 00:25:33.559 --> 00:25:40.160 of years. Today, bulls are run through the streets in an annual festival 274 00:25:40.519 --> 00:25:47.559 theft. A month before that festival, though another festival is held to celebrate 275 00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:55.000 a creature called the drack. We now you'd think that the drack on a 276 00:25:55.279 --> 00:26:00.880 glaze might be a dracula or a vampire. Shut the cup. Why don't 277 00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:04.720 you let us tell you the story? Why are you listening? Let's never 278 00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:08.599 fight again, Flora, tell him what what the real deal is? Well, 279 00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:14.519 is a long serpentine dragon or winged sea serpent, if you will, 280 00:26:15.079 --> 00:26:18.279 that lives at the bottom of the rhone. It is a shape shifter. 281 00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:22.319 But if that's not enough of a power for you, Yeah, no, 282 00:26:22.359 --> 00:26:25.880 you see, I feel like you got them out of order. Maybe I'm 283 00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:27.119 trying to draw the trumps out, is all You're doing? Fair enough? 284 00:26:27.160 --> 00:26:32.240 Fair enough? What's its other ability? What I would consider its primary ability? 285 00:26:32.359 --> 00:26:33.680 If shape shifting isn't good enough for you, for you know, like 286 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:41.000 camouflage, you're not being seen. How about invisibility? Right? It seemed 287 00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:45.559 redundant. Yeah, you need one or the other. Invisible to humans. 288 00:26:45.559 --> 00:26:48.920 I guess y'all can't see me. But rat Now I'm a giant baboon. 289 00:26:49.400 --> 00:26:53.119 Oh now I'm a lunchbox. No matter, he can't see either. Now 290 00:26:53.160 --> 00:26:57.319 I'm a Formula one race car. It liked to stalk prey in the marketplace 291 00:26:57.640 --> 00:27:03.839 and children, and would disappear from the town as led Rac feasted on them. 292 00:27:03.839 --> 00:27:11.240 Perfect knights and villagers alike sought vengeance. All of them failed. Yeah, 293 00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:15.680 nobody defeated the creature. That's right, because you can't see it. 294 00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:22.799 Nope. Now, whoever, one woman yep did figure this out. Ye, 295 00:27:22.119 --> 00:27:26.440 And there are different variations to this myth, but long story short, 296 00:27:26.519 --> 00:27:32.279 she was able to spend seven years in the lair of the lad Rac who 297 00:27:32.359 --> 00:27:36.880 kidnapped her to raise its hatchling. Yep, raise its kid and then it 298 00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:41.039 went ahead and in a feat of unparalleled generosity, allowed her to leave. 299 00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:45.319 Yeah. Well the hatchling grew up, I guess. Yeah, just take 300 00:27:45.359 --> 00:27:48.680 seven years, it's all you need. Um. What what the Drac didn't 301 00:27:48.759 --> 00:27:53.960 realize is that nor this woman is that she left the lair with a special 302 00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:59.079 gift. That's right. She had been put under a spell by l Rach 303 00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:08.720 in order to lead accept them, in order to not she she forgot her 304 00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:12.960 former life. She was just basically under spell and a slave to this thing. 305 00:28:15.160 --> 00:28:18.279 It would give her save to put on the hatchling so that she could 306 00:28:18.319 --> 00:28:22.640 see it, because the hatchling was going to be invisible, so she had 307 00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:26.799 to rub the salve onto this hatchling so she could see it to take care 308 00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:32.519 of it. And then one day she got some in her eye. Oh 309 00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:36.200 my eye, it just better scratch it. I can see everything. Right, 310 00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:41.200 So she had the ability in one eye to see lodoc Yeah, anywhere, 311 00:28:41.359 --> 00:28:47.559 anytime, all the time, regardless of its shape or disposition. After 312 00:28:47.599 --> 00:28:52.000 the seven years, it released her and she actually was able to regain her 313 00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:57.200 old life back. She basically thought that no time had passed since she fell 314 00:28:57.240 --> 00:29:02.279 in the roan and and and she thought she had just climbed out the same 315 00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:07.279 day and was freaking out and ran home, and her son was grown, 316 00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:12.559 her her husband had a beard. It's the only way to till time back 317 00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:18.680 then. Um So, so she got her life back and had no memory 318 00:29:18.720 --> 00:29:22.039 of La Drac at all until that was part of a spell. Until one 319 00:29:22.119 --> 00:29:27.640 day, strolling through the marketplace, right, her lucky eye happens upon a 320 00:29:27.759 --> 00:29:37.480 gent and she's like dra yeah the drag, realizing, oh my god, 321 00:29:37.599 --> 00:29:41.640 she can totally see me with one of her eyes. What's a drag to 322 00:29:41.720 --> 00:29:44.920 do? Well, he goes up and administers an eye test. Yeah, 323 00:29:44.960 --> 00:29:48.119 he holds a talent hand over one eye, says, can you see me? 324 00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:52.279 How about now how about now, how about now, how's this? 325 00:29:52.519 --> 00:29:57.319 And this better or worse? Better or worse? Then, using a calibrated 326 00:29:57.359 --> 00:30:03.359 two talent technique, plucked the eyeball from her skull, issuing one final better 327 00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:11.440 or worse, and thus rendering the poor woman mad to wander the streets after 328 00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:17.240 that, half blind and claiming that there's a dragon stalking people. Can't catch 329 00:30:17.240 --> 00:30:22.880 no breakes. Nobody knows what happened to d or it's hatchling, so it's 330 00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:26.359 assumed that it either died of old age or is asleep on the bottom of 331 00:30:26.359 --> 00:30:34.200 the room or invisibly just jumping rooftop to rooftop solving crimes. Ledrac is. 332 00:30:36.359 --> 00:30:45.319 I think the Catalan for for dragon um in Catalonia is right between France and 333 00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:48.799 Spain, right there on the little straightaway that connects. I think I think 334 00:30:48.799 --> 00:30:52.599 like the Latin roots the same across the board. Draco. Yeah, so 335 00:30:52.079 --> 00:30:56.680 so that's I mean, it's it's not a very flattering name, oh these 336 00:30:56.759 --> 00:31:03.319 dragon, yeah, but pretty pretty fearsome creature fun In myth and legend of 337 00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:08.720 France, the town celebrates by basically doing a like Chinese dragon through the town, 338 00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:12.359 and they just plucked the eyeball out of anybody that gets too close. 339 00:31:12.799 --> 00:31:18.880 We oh, look out there comes I got another one. Bucare the eyepatch 340 00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:27.079 capital of the world. Yeah, so that is a legend of Oh boy, 341 00:31:27.200 --> 00:31:34.480 way what you've heard tonight? Think about it? Oh blood whack mill 342 00:31:34.599 --> 00:31:41.400 mad lge. What what's it gonna be? Who do you like? Blurry 343 00:31:41.400 --> 00:31:48.799 photos dot org vote? Uh, you can vote visavi, the Twitter or 344 00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:52.039 the Facebook. But I'm gonna tell you right now, those votes count for 345 00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:57.799 less because it's it's it's kind of hard to for us to get this all 346 00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:04.119 sorted. We ran into this problem last year. We will resort to Twitter, 347 00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:07.920 will anything not through the website, We will resort to in the case 348 00:32:07.960 --> 00:32:09.880 of a tie, that will be the tie breaker, but it will not 349 00:32:09.960 --> 00:32:13.960 be accounted as part of the main populational vote. So, I mean, 350 00:32:14.319 --> 00:32:17.400 if your vote's really im bulletant to you, that's a that's that's a good 351 00:32:17.400 --> 00:32:23.039 point. If if you vote by Facebook or Twitter, that's harder to keep 352 00:32:23.079 --> 00:32:28.440 track of in terms of who gets a prize and who doesn't. That's right, 353 00:32:28.519 --> 00:32:31.200 that's right. So the best way to do it's go to blurry photos 354 00:32:31.200 --> 00:32:36.519 dot Org. Yeah, we consider those the hanging chad votes of this particular 355 00:32:36.599 --> 00:32:39.759 electoral procedure. Yeah, so don't hang your chad, don't, but you 356 00:32:39.880 --> 00:32:45.000 could. We're not going to be mad and maybe you'll be a celebrated hero 357 00:32:45.079 --> 00:32:49.279 as the tie break whore. Because as I want to remind everyone last year 358 00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:53.759 that the winner was determined by a random choice, because we had a tie 359 00:32:53.799 --> 00:32:59.640 last year, every single vote counts. People. One vote could have turned 360 00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:04.240 it bats which ended up taking it. That's right, that it could have 361 00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:07.279 been, So it could have been. Shunchon was right there with it. 362 00:33:07.759 --> 00:33:12.680 Uh. Yeah, the the actual votes were tied for the for the miscrypted 363 00:33:13.119 --> 00:33:16.799 but that we choose a winner randomly as well. But yeah, so that's 364 00:33:16.960 --> 00:33:20.640 how we did it. We actually ended up having to functionally flip a coin, 365 00:33:20.680 --> 00:33:23.240 although we just wrote the things on paper. But yeah, so we 366 00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:27.440 ended up having to do a random thing. So so please do vote because 367 00:33:27.440 --> 00:33:31.759 it'll matter. It'll matter. We're gonna give you one pun in this one 368 00:33:32.079 --> 00:33:37.680 screamed. That's right, I'll go first. Okay, I've got a business 369 00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:44.039 on the shores of the sea specializing in expensive essential oils but still kind of 370 00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:53.880 smells fishy. Oh yeah, mirrmaids. Oh you you frankincensing mother, I 371 00:33:53.960 --> 00:34:00.200 like that. Yeah, about thirty years ago there became there They're gonna be 372 00:34:00.279 --> 00:34:04.920 a story that was kind of rising up out of Canada. This is about 373 00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:08.960 the same time that you know, Motley Crue and Poison Deaf Leopard were were 374 00:34:09.039 --> 00:34:19.840 popular with the kids, and there was a family and uh and then this 375 00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:23.679 girl you know, swore that she had made a friend in the forest. 376 00:34:24.079 --> 00:34:30.440 And it was a huge, huge animal that not only was a friend of 377 00:34:30.519 --> 00:34:36.719 the forest, but was a friend to metal. It was Jeff the Rocking 378 00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:47.119 song Moose Song, Moose. Yeah, how do you get that? As 379 00:34:52.400 --> 00:35:00.239 all right? Great, um, well you only get one for this mini. 380 00:35:00.239 --> 00:35:01.519 It's all I needed, That's all I needed. I rocked it. 381 00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:07.519 I rocked it like a song Moose. Alright. I hope you enjoy Week 382 00:35:07.559 --> 00:35:13.519 one, Misses in twenty fourteen, join us again next week for Week two. 383 00:35:13.679 --> 00:35:16.480 We'll have three fresh off the boat contestants, and none of them will 384 00:35:16.519 --> 00:35:29.800 be your mom. Oh bye.