WEBVTT

1
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:18.839
Comedy Central Podcast very good. Let' s see. You' ve ever

2
00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:21.960
dated someone and after you cut him
off, it' s been a while.

3
00:00:22.359 --> 00:00:26.760
You' ve thought about how long
I spent on that one' s

4
00:00:26.760 --> 00:00:29.199
normal. You' ve had that
feeling at all. Speak to the people

5
00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:34.880
who have had that feeling. Please, because someone thinks the same about you

6
00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:41.560
We are all the subnormal of someone, all some is a normal of several

7
00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:46.079
relaxed we have seen you calm.
Okay. I' m back in Tinder.

8
00:00:47.320 --> 00:00:53.679
That was Tinder' s reaction,
exactly that one. Maybe not Tinder.

9
00:00:53.679 --> 00:00:56.880
I don' t know if anyone
is in Tinder, but I hate

10
00:00:57.159 --> 00:01:00.240
Tinder or I have to look fun
all the time, have to look interesting

11
00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:06.040
and I feel like a phony,
but why I am, because in Tinder

12
00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:11.000
I am the tourism ad of Aragon. I' ve taken four pictures that

13
00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:14.120
look cool but don' t go
on holiday in Calatayud. You don'

14
00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:15.079
t want to, you don'
t want to be there. No.

15
00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:19.799
Besides, I think in the end, flirting is that not flirting is hiding

16
00:01:19.840 --> 00:01:26.280
the negative part that you know perfectly
well that you have is hiding your scheduled

17
00:01:26.280 --> 00:01:29.040
obsolescence. No. I already know
that from three weeks I' ve started

18
00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:32.319
to depend too much on you,
but you' ll know, when it

19
00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:36.120
' s too late. Don'
t want to spoiler. It' s

20
00:01:36.120 --> 00:01:38.079
not three weeks. Wait all the
way, it' s not worth anything.

21
00:01:38.879 --> 00:01:44.400
Besides, I' m gay,
so I have added problems whenever I

22
00:01:44.560 --> 00:01:48.359
' m with another guy on a
date. I notice the pressure from that

23
00:01:48.439 --> 00:01:53.120
guy who' s been looking at
me like I haven' t been discriminated

24
00:01:53.239 --> 00:01:59.159
against all my life to end up
with someone like you. I think I

25
00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:02.560
' m gonna wait. I don' t think this is up to my

26
00:02:02.680 --> 00:02:07.400
suffering. Okay, you got two
podcasts. You can' t be looking

27
00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:08.639
at your head. I' ll
wait in a while. Besides, there

28
00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:12.879
' s homophobia in the little things. Besides, there' s hemophobia It

29
00:02:12.919 --> 00:02:15.479
happens to me that when I'
m on a date with another guy at

30
00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:20.840
the bar, the rosy peddler never
offers us roses. Why I mean it.

31
00:02:20.919 --> 00:02:23.080
I don' t have all the
right in the world to say no

32
00:02:23.159 --> 00:02:27.599
without looking him in the eye,
because why is that right taken away from

33
00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:32.280
me. I don' t understand
that it' s a rare claim,

34
00:02:32.639 --> 00:02:37.439
not that I want to be a
classist, too. I' m nothing

35
00:02:37.439 --> 00:02:38.520
classy. In fact, I hate
people who believe themselves above the situation.

36
00:02:39.159 --> 00:02:44.800
You know those people who, for
example, say the hospital food is really

37
00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:49.000
bad is how these people saved your
life. What else do you need from

38
00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:52.719
them? What else do you need? Liver surgery went very well. He

39
00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:55.199
took my tumor, but the soup
was a little dull. I didn'

40
00:02:55.240 --> 00:03:01.120
t like this to fuck up what
demands. I think, anyway, I

41
00:03:01.120 --> 00:03:04.960
think it' s a good time
to be gay at stand up, in

42
00:03:05.319 --> 00:03:08.120
life, in my life, but
at stand um I think it' s

43
00:03:08.159 --> 00:03:13.360
a good time. I' d
like nothing less than to be a white

44
00:03:13.800 --> 00:03:16.599
cis man, hetorre sex doing stand
up. A lot of pressure right now,

45
00:03:17.039 --> 00:03:22.960
a lot of pressure. From here
I' m ally you straight guys.

46
00:03:23.080 --> 00:03:25.680
I' m here for what you
need. I know they' re

47
00:03:25.759 --> 00:03:30.639
being tough times. If you want
to cry on my shoulder I am,

48
00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:32.360
if you want to even do the
spoon, why not? Why I'

49
00:03:32.439 --> 00:03:37.400
m not here. I think it' s an opportunity for you and maybe

50
00:03:37.400 --> 00:03:39.840
say, I' m a curious
straight man. You know these people who

51
00:03:40.199 --> 00:03:44.919
say no I' m curious straight, not in a desperate attempt to escape

52
00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:46.639
the focus of privilege. Not to
see if feminists don' t see me

53
00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:51.840
behind the curious letter, to see
no curious hetero and curious tero, not

54
00:03:51.919 --> 00:03:53.800
your reviews don' t go with
me. I don' t know.

55
00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:58.879
There' s people, there'
s guys who to empathize with me say

56
00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:02.319
hey, I' m straight,
but I think I know how to recognize

57
00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:06.039
the beauty in a man is how
I see Brad Pitt and you say he

58
00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:08.719
' s good, careful, brave, uh, I mean in voice missing

59
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:10.800
is controversial. That, uh,
presents the proclamation, which presents the dragon.

60
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:18.839
Yes, sir, finally, revolutionary
voices. A day for you to

61
00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:23.600
get an idea. Where day was
on a comedy show and a comedian in

62
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:27.680
intimacy came up and told me,
man, I wish I was gay to

63
00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:32.480
differentiate myself like what the fuck are
you saying? You take fountains, man,

64
00:04:32.680 --> 00:04:41.439
what are you saying, what the
fuck are you saying? I'

65
00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:45.040
m an atheist I don' t
believe in God. In fact, I

66
00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:47.639
prefer that God does not exist.
If you' re going to choose me,

67
00:04:47.800 --> 00:04:50.680
I prefer that it doesn' t
exist because I' ve been living

68
00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:56.399
like I won' t have to
pass that exam now better if I die

69
00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:58.120
and God is there with my videos
in the prides of Madrid. No.

70
00:04:58.199 --> 00:05:00.879
No, no, no, no. You guys. I' ve got

71
00:05:00.920 --> 00:05:03.360
a good résumé to get into the
sky. I don' t have to

72
00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:08.120
think what kind of place heaven is, it has to be crazy. That

73
00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:12.000
' s because there are people there
who died yesterday and Neanderthals at the same

74
00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:15.759
time. I don' t want
to be somewhere. I don' t

75
00:05:15.800 --> 00:05:21.519
have to teach you how to bust
Aristotle. I wouldn' t be cool

76
00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:26.879
about the point of being above historical
figures, about being around, like da

77
00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:30.839
Vinci, that you would be very
good at what you did. But you

78
00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:35.040
haven' t seen The Crown,
you haven' t seen Ground Michelangelo Asshole,

79
00:05:35.879 --> 00:05:38.959
not my Angel gel. A lot
of chapella assists, but at FIFA

80
00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:43.079
you don' t beat me.
You' ll see. Also, if

81
00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:46.920
you think about it, heaven is
a place full of racist and macho people

82
00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:50.360
and homophoba, because until recently it
is gold the usual. And I don

83
00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:56.000
' t think God is Woke and
he' s put his batteries through the

84
00:05:56.000 --> 00:06:00.000
rules of heaven, because lately he' s looking at a lot of examples

85
00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:03.120
and it' s like jeremies.
Yes, about the slaves of 200 years

86
00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:10.879
ago that I laughed at their time, even now they already black live mateur

87
00:06:11.199 --> 00:06:15.879
jeremías and you go to hell.
No, I' m sorry, I

88
00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:17.680
' m sorry, but I am. I don' t think it was

89
00:06:17.759 --> 00:06:23.000
like that, I don' t
think it would happen to us, but

90
00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:28.560
within two hundred years we would be
in heaven there so calm and suddenly it

91
00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:30.240
would be because it goes by PA
to heaven. There' s one to

92
00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:34.079
inform everyone. No, don'
t mind the people you ate animals,

93
00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:40.000
you couldn' t all to hell
and two like that uh, uh,

94
00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:43.480
no, no one told us this. We didn' t suspect anything of

95
00:06:43.519 --> 00:06:47.519
the Karnica industry at any time.
Not the vegetarians until later, yeah,

96
00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:51.399
the discussions at Christmas you remember,
uh, the vegans a couple of years

97
00:06:51.439 --> 00:06:55.439
and we' re alone. Don' t worry about them celebrating. It

98
00:06:55.480 --> 00:07:01.199
' s okay. I don'
t know it has to be full of

99
00:07:01.319 --> 00:07:03.560
homophobes and machistas and racists. The
sky has to be full of taxi drivers.

100
00:07:03.680 --> 00:07:09.920
I' m convinced not taxi drivers, not taxi drivers. Please,

101
00:07:10.279 --> 00:07:15.519
there are taxi drivers. One out
of every hundred zero that' s right

102
00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:16.519
- handed. He' s made
a wish. It' s very complicated

103
00:07:16.519 --> 00:07:19.399
that it happens to you and that
sometimes it bothers you. It doesn'

104
00:07:19.720 --> 00:07:24.360
t make you like that conversation where
you try, because you agree with it

105
00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:28.360
and it' s an awkward journey. Not then have I discovered how to

106
00:07:28.519 --> 00:07:30.600
survive that journey that is by playing
him, by playing him. Even I

107
00:07:30.600 --> 00:07:34.399
sometimes try to push him to the
right. You know Uncle says like immigrants.

108
00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:40.399
I wouldn' t have killed them
all, you know the guy'

109
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:44.519
s driving thinking like a fucking facha, this pers gets off at once.

110
00:07:45.399 --> 00:07:46.800
You wanted to play this game.
Let' s see who wins. Let

111
00:07:46.839 --> 00:07:51.199
' s see what this game has
won. Let' s see you'

112
00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:57.120
re gonna see Sometimes it' s
a bitch because the guy follows my game

113
00:07:57.199 --> 00:07:59.480
and we don' t radicalize each
other. I' m bringing chaos to

114
00:07:59.480 --> 00:08:01.600
the cab union Okay. It'
s not gonna have any good consequences.

115
00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:07.759
That' s all I want to
tell you is that if you ever see

116
00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:11.560
me in an army parade singing my
face in the sun, it' s

117
00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:13.560
because I' ve made a very
long taxing ride. It' s just.

118
00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:18.800
That' s why. Just for
that. But look at the facha

119
00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:22.360
taxi drivers who drive the best do
take you to the places. You know

120
00:08:22.439 --> 00:08:28.560
shortcuts. I know how to separate
the work from the taxi driver. When

121
00:08:28.680 --> 00:08:33.200
in the debate of itself you can
separate the work of the artist, you

122
00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:37.000
believe that yes or that you do
not answer to that of three all at

123
00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:39.000
once without reflection one at three,
that is to say quite yes. Uh,

124
00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:43.399
I' m also having doubts about
the truth, but what I'

125
00:08:43.480 --> 00:08:46.279
m clear about is that I'
m sick and tired of the debate always

126
00:08:46.279 --> 00:08:50.440
being with art. Why isn'
t it in other professions. For example,

127
00:08:50.919 --> 00:08:56.000
if we now find out what Fleming
masturbated by looking at pictures of children,

128
00:08:56.480 --> 00:09:00.679
we have to stop using penicillin.
We can power, we' re

129
00:09:00.679 --> 00:09:03.960
going to make that effort as a
society, to separate Fleming from the movie

130
00:09:03.960 --> 00:09:07.159
or it' s like no.
No. We' re not going back

131
00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:09.240
two hundred years in medicine because not
those kids. I don' t die

132
00:09:09.320 --> 00:09:13.559
of diarrhea because I don' t. We can' t make that effort

133
00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:16.799
or say otherwise, it hasn'
t been won. Fleming, after saving

134
00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:20.639
millions and millions of people, screwing
a child from time to time I don

135
00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:28.440
' t know, it won'
t make any sense. I ask Fleming,

136
00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:31.679
plant Plat, I did it so
I haven' t earned it anymore

137
00:09:31.720 --> 00:09:35.960
at least one. Give me if
you' re in favor of Fleming,

138
00:09:35.399 --> 00:09:37.919
Shouting, Fleming, if you'
re in favor of the children Shouting,

139
00:09:39.799 --> 00:09:43.360
children on three, one, two, three, a lot of pederast has

140
00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:50.799
come today. No. Thank you
all very much. Thank you very much,

141
00:09:50.879 --> 00:10:00.200
thank you very much. S s