WEBVTT

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at Let's Talk the Things. Now, grab your tea, coffee or a

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glass of wine and let's talk the
things. Hello everyone, Happy New Year

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and Welcome to season two of the
Let's Talk the Things podcast, where we

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discuss the importance of personal growth,
travel, music, wellness, and encourage

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you to live fearlessly and fabulously.
I am your host, Ash, and

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today we are talking to things with
law firm operations manager, Florida State University

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and Cleveland State University. Graduate and
member of Delta Stigma Theta Sorority Incorporated,

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miche Hey, Mish, how are
you? I am great, Ash?

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How are you? Thanks for having
me good? Of course I've been wanting

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you to come and talk the things
with me, so I'm so happy to

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have you here. So yeah,
thanks for coming to talk the Things with

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me. And this season, I'm
doing things a little bit differently as far

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as the order of the show.
So I'm actually going to start off with

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my favorite segment and everyone else's favorite
segment, which is called that a sound

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safe And for those of you that
are unfamiliar and if this is your first

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time tuning into the show, basically
what it is is I read different posts

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I saw or that listeners sent to
me, or just responses to questions that

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I post on our Instagram page.
And if the guest, which in this

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case mish would be you, if
you think it sounds crazy or it sounds

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a little bit concerning, you would
respond and say that the sounds safe.

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But if you think, like,
wait, there's some value in this or

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some truth, you would say you
agree and then explain why you agree.

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Makes sense. Let's do it,
all right? Perfect, all right?

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So the first one is I love
letting people think they took advantage of me.

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Never I'm watching your character that the
sounds safe, and you know what

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why, I just you know,
I would never put myself in a situation

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like that. And if I find
myself in a situation like that, I

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would run. I would definitely,
you know. I don't think we would

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get to the point to where you
have the quote proverbs to me, I

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would be yeah, that's a major
red flag. That no sound safe at

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all. I agree with you,
all right. The next one is I

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say long story short and then proceed
to tell the double VHS Titanic version of

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the story. Oh, I'm going
all the way with that safe because that's

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me. You're gonna get a full
Cat Williams from me. I may start

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off real soft and say, you
know my face. I think people who

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know me well will tell you out. My favorite saying is long story short,

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and and that's short about the story. So that one I'm gonna have

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to go with. That's safe.
Oh my gosh. And I didn't mention

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in the beginning, but Miche and
I are cousins, so this is one

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thing that we have been comment.
Yeah, you're gonna get the long version

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VHS cassette tape. You're getting everything, baby, full story. And you

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said the thing about friends, because
I was just talking to my friend the

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other night, and I started off
the story saying, long story short,

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yeah, and yeah. Two hours
later, I can't even talk by time

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I finished the story. My phone
said two hours. And yeah, see

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the average talk time on a long
story. Sure, it's two hours minimum.

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I get it. I get it. So that definitely definitely safe.

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That's definitely issue. That's a good
person. The next one says the most

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dangerous person in a woman's life is
a man who is envious of her period.

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I agree with that. So do
I say that sounds safe? Yes?

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So you can say you agree or
that sounds safe. Yeah, but

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you can also in this, you
know, in this you could also say

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that notes sound safe, meaning having
a man based on what this person is

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saying that is envious of you isn't
safe? Like that doesn't sound safe,

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right, the situation is not safe. Fact that this person is ichnology,

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that that is I should not have
around you are someone you should not be

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with. It's a safe is a
safe saying because I mean, I couldn't

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imagine being with a partner who is
envious of me. I mean that to

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me is that's probably I wouldn't compare
it to physical abuse, but that's definitely

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on a level of abuse, whether
it's a mental, psychological, or emotional

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abuse, because you got to have
a well, I have to have a

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cheerleader in my corner and somebody who's
gonna encourage me, even though I encourage

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myself, but it's always good to
have someone who pours into you and pours

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into you know, any your endeavors. So that's deadly deadly somebody being jealous

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of you, and then somebody's supposed
to be a partner, your best friend,

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that's deadly deadly, absolutely sound safe. That's deadly in my right,

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And I would also add anybody in
your life that's concerning because you know,

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I even would venture to say envy
is worse than jealousy, because when you

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envy someone, that means you'll do
anything to make sure that they maybe feel

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something that you feel about them,
or they suffer or that's that's something like

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deep rooted. That's what makes people
commit crimes and crimes, the passion and

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things like that. So, like
you said, spotting that in a partner,

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someone you potentially you know, are
in a relationship with, our living

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with. You know, you're next
to this person unconsciouste Yeah, and think

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about it. This is somebody you
probably share a bedroom with, you probably

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share you guys, share dinner together. You it's the little things you don't

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really think about that you guys are
so in tune and in touch with your

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personal space, and then you're involving
yourself with someone who's jealous but they have

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so much access to you. It's
scary. That's a very scary thing,

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you know. Yes, So like
you said early on, you know,

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once you see a red flag,
you're gone. And I think that's something

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that I'm seeing more and more women
kind of get in tune with. And

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it's not easy because obviously everybody has
to go through things like to learn what

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those are for you in particular.
But envy, I think that's not even

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a discussion, like you have to
go. I agree. And the thing

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with jealousy, I don't think being
jealous is a bad thing. I think

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it's okay sometimes to say, man, you know what that person has or

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what they've done, I would love
to do that. You know, I

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kind of feel bummed that I'm not
in that space. But you also have

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to take to consideration how did they
get there, what's their story? It

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may look nice, but what was
the story to get there? So it's

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okay sometime to be inspired and encourage. You know, we're humans. We

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may naturally have a little bit of
a jealous side, like, oh man,

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you know some time you may look
at that person and say, man,

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you know you know they have how
did they get so lucky with those

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nice legs? Or how did that
person get so lucky with such clear skin?

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So we may naturally have as humans, we may tend to have a

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little bit of unconscious jealousy in us, but we have to take into account

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how did that person get there,
what did they do to get those tone

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legs? Why is their skin so
clear? Is it genetic or is it

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because they have good self care.
Is it that they're genetically inclines that have

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nice legs, or do they work
out every day and watch what they eat.

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We have to think about those things
as well and not let that jealousy

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or that little bit of man that
would be nice for me to have turned

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into envy, because once it turns
into that aspect of wanting what someone has,

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it can now take into a spiral
effect of you know, you now

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really being turning into an enemy,
you know, doing things that are you

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know, that are going to compromise
your integrity. Like you said, some

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people now turn into thieves and rate
the law because their jealousy now has turned

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into envy. So you definitely have
to look at those two aspects of being

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two separate things. But you got
to stay away from envious people for sure.

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So the next one says, don't
DM me my own photo with the

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compliment, say it's in the comments
with your chest. I mean some people

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listen, some people they flirt and
they want to probably flirt with you privately,

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or they probably want to spark up
a conversation outside of that public space

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and say, hey, this is
a beautiful picture or you look really nice.

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Now if it's a female, I
don't know. That would be a

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little strange, and most females will
just put the heart's face or say,

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oh, you look pretty. Nobody
would really DM that unless they may want

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to say, man, you look
really great. Who did your makeup?

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Or you look really great? Where
did you get your hair done? That's

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more if you want to DM so
you don't pull up a thread, because

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sometimes when you comment on a post
or you like a post, you may

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get everybody's updates on there. I
don't know, but I don't think if

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a guy does that, and it
could be in a sent guy asked,

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yeah, that's what That's what initially
came to me, like somebody just saying,

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you know, if he praised me. Because I took it as maybe

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the person the person may be saying
that because they want to assure be reassured

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that whoever is giving them the compliment
other people see it, so it confirms

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that they, you know, may
not have any secrets or any hidden agendas.

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That's how I originally took it.
But in the aspect of someone consistently

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giving you a compliment in a DM
that is not consistently giving you the comment

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on your page that's a little strange. Now, if the person did that

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for everybody, that may just be
how the person praises people. But if

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they're just only doing or not for
you, that don't sound safe. Right,

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yeah, right, yeah, okay, that makes sense. All right,

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So two more all right? The
next one is what motivates you more

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than anything. And then the person
replied disrespect. Oh that's a tough one

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because in one aspect I would definitely
say that don't sound safe, but in

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another aspect I would say it's safe. You know, it depends on the

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disrespect. You may have a disrespect
that is that screams loud, like somebody

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calling out your name, right or
somebody saying something degrading. Or you may

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have a disrespect where somebody on the
slide kind of tries to belittle you or

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doesn't doesn't think that you can do
or say or be a part of certain

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things. So it depends if you
if you disrespect me and call me out

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my name, that's not gonna The
only thing that motivation is gonna do is

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gonna make me want to match that
energy, depending on what you call me.

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Now, the motivating, the motivating
side of it is you say something

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you do something that I take as
disrespect and it motivates me to I don't

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First of all, I don't feel
I have to prove myself to anybody or

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anyone. So to say motivation,
I don't know if that's a good word

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for me. I would say,
yeah, you know, I would say,

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does motivate me? But what I
will say is you, I guarantee

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you, by the time you you
you've watched me or spent time with me,

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you you're whatever that disrespect was,
it'll change. It'll change. It'll

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change because you will see whatever that
that intention or feeling you had at the

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moment, it will definitely change.
Once you probably get to know me or

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you spend some time with me,
you observe me, you feel differently.

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I guarantee you. Right well,
you must be reading my notes because that

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brings me to my last one,
which is very fitting. Okay, And

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it says you can do all things
through Christ except tech me for idiots.

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So that was a perfect segue.
You know what, you won't be doing

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things through Christ. If you're taking
me for no idiot, you ain't doing

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that through Christ. Baby. You
may be doing that through Chris, but

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you ain't doing that through Christ.
So that's definitely that goes something because when

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you act, when you when you
do things through Christ, you don't do

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things for harm or hurt people.
You do things with love and you do

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things with respect. So you're not
doing that through Christ. So no,

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man, I can't do this episode. Listen, if you're gonna take me

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for a fool or you're going to
try to just you know, you're gonna

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try to be disrespectful or manipulative or
whatever it is, you are not doing

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that to any means of Christ.
So let's start there. So yeah,

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I definitely say that comment does sound
sie because that's not coming through Christ.

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My gosh, coming through Christ.
Take off the tea or drink it,

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but that ain't coming through That ain't
coming from Christ. Okay, ladies and

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00:17:41.160 --> 00:17:47.440
gentlemen, if you have ever heard
me say something crazy and you're wondering if

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it's hereditary, your indication that this
is a normal day. Okay. Like

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I've told you before, none of
my guests know these questions or what we're

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going to talk about. We're just
here to talk the things. So that

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was a perfect ending to that sex
that is coming So growing up with Jamaican

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roots in America must have been a
unique experience, right, And I say

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that to say, We've had a
couple episodes on here where we talked about

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growing up Jamaican. We had one
called the Caribbean American Experience, and those

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are with my male friends, and
we just talked about like their experience.

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One of them was born in Jamaica
and then came here and then went back

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for schooling. And the other one
was born here but went there every summer.

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You know, we all have different
experiences as persons of Caribbean heritage,

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in our case Jamaica. So how
do you think that your cultural background shaped

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your perspectives and how do you weave
those influences into your daily life. That's

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a really good question. We definitely
grew up with a one hundred Jamaican experience.

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You know. My parents are what
I like to say, very Jamaican.

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As you know. My mother,
she was a school teacher in Jamaica

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and my father was a musician still
as a musician, and you know,

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they navigated through life, came here
with the expectations to do really uh well

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and work hard for their children.
But my but my mother made sure we

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never lost touch with our roots and
who we are, so through the food,

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through the way she disciplined, through
the things that she allowed or did

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not allow, you know, through
how we I mean even down to how

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we dressed, you know, making
sure we spent almost especially myself, spent

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many summers in Jamaica with my grandparents, just developing that true authenticity of who

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we are, but still embracing the
American culture. You know. I was

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on a radio shorty of the day. The majority of the listeners are patient,

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and I was telling the radio host
that I was honoring the well I

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was acknowledging, I should say the
fourteenth year of the hurricane, I mean

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the earthquake that they had in Haiti, like over two hundred and seventy five

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thousand people died and one point million
people were displaced. And I said,

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you know, we're all one.
You know, we just got dropped off

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at different locations, but we're all
one. And in the Caribbean experience,

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I've learned we all are different in
our own little ways, but we're all

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the same. But going back to
the Jamaican, our Caribbean American experience,

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you know, growing up was tough
because there was a lot of things that

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some of my friends, depending on
their cultural background, did or said that

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I did or said differently, Like
we couldn't have sleepovers. I didn't need

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to put nobody house. I couldn't
eat from nobody house. I couldn't you

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know, I have to say auntie
or a missus. You you was either

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an aunt or you was a miss
or you was a mister or you were

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an uncle. That's just how we
were raised. You know, you're clean

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up. You learn how to clean
up a bathroom and how to change your

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tire, how to check your engine
oil, and you know, you just

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learned all those things. At least
in my household, we just worked hard,

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really learned how to be self sufficient, be respectful. We didn't do

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sleepovers, you know, so navigating
through life where there's a culture here where

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your friends will say, hey,
we're having a slumber party. You know,

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I grew up in the nineties,
summer parties were big. I couldn't

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go school dances. I couldn't go
dyal is having me go to a school

254
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dance in the eighth grade. That's
like put me on a pole at King

255
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of Diamonds. So don't even ask. You know, the word is not

256
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no the word is hell no.
So it was tough because you know,

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on the weekends, me and my
sister were with Dahlia at the meat market,

258
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or you know, we stop at
Public's or wind Dixie at the time,

259
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or we may go to I don't
think Stargrasses Blows at the time,

260
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We're probably going to like with my
mother used to love Lord and Taylor outlet,

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We'll go to Lord and Taylor.
I spent every Saturday and Sunday with

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Dayla and on Saturdays it was tanto
Irie at eight o'clock, Ja making soup

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and we stay up a little bit
and we go to bed. That's so

264
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growing up like that where I have
friends, Hey, Mish, we're going

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to the movies. Can you come? And you know you have to play

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it off. You don't want to
be embarrassed to say you go to the

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movie. Oh no, I have
to go to this thing with my parents

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tonight, so I can't make it. And it just became a thing where

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my friends just stopped inviting me because
they just was like, she always has

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something to do. But it was
really I wasn't allowed to go because let

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me ask you, Let me ask
you that as you say that I don't

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mean to cut you, but yeah, do you think now that you're older,

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because you know, how there were
kids. We think our parents were

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born adults and they don't know what
it's like to be children. Do you

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think that that prevented you from a
lot of possible danger or getting in a

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lot of bad situations that you saw
other friends get in. Absolutely. I

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look at it now and say,
man, you know, people always joke

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and say you Jamaican and you never
smoked weed? Never? Oh my gosh,

279
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never. And it's because it's the
most annoying question. It's just stigma.

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I had to take a light detective
one time and the lady paused,

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and I'll never forget. She said
to me, really, you're Jamaican and

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you never smoked weed. And I'm
thinkings me, is she a lot even

283
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tell me that? Right? Anyways, No, I've never smoked weed.

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Now, my lot of my friends
who had that leisure time to go to

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those slumber parties and go to do
certain things. You know, like I

286
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said, idle hands is the devil's
playground. So they were around or saw

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or involved in things that Because Mommy
kept me home, I didn't have the

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experience. So I would definitely say
what I were they a little too strict,

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little, but did it mold me
and shape me to be who I

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am today and to think back and
go, man, I really could have

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been in some trouble that day,
or I really could have gotten into this,

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or I really could have gotten into
that. So absolutely, I definitely

293
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think that experience did allow for me
to stay out of situations or prevent me

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from doing things that I probably would
have done had my parents allowed me to

295
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go out with my friends. Speaking
of the Caribbean experience, would you ever

296
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this is random, but would you
ever play Mass in Trinidad or or Jamaica

297
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Carnival either or or would I ever
do with either? Or? Yeah?

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So like Trinidad or Jamaica? Would
you ever go there to play Mass?

299
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You know? I actually I really
would enjoy that. Now, the way

300
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my OCD is set up, this
is gonna sound very strange. Oh my

301
00:25:33.799 --> 00:25:37.359
god, this is gonna sound crazy, and you guys are gonna be like,

302
00:25:37.880 --> 00:25:42.000
get this lady off this podcast.
I've noticed as I got older,

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I have become like this complete germophobe. So the one thing that I know

304
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about Carnival, right, and I'm
gonna have to like embrace it is.

305
00:25:52.519 --> 00:25:56.400
You gonna see like a lot of
food and all kind of napkins on the

306
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floor and I'm marching in my shoes. Oh my god, this is the

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something to have naked. Oh people
sweating and oh, I just have to

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get over that part and I'll definitely
hope Well. I will say this,

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I've never been to Trinidad Carnival.
That's like one of my on my lists

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to go. But as you know, I've been to Jamaica Carnival several times,

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and I will say I have never
seen any kind of like trash or

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anything as you're going through the road
because in Jamaica Carnival different from Miami Carnival,

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at least the last one I went
to. I don't know if they

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changed it to Carnival. You're,
you know, literally on the road.

315
00:26:37.440 --> 00:26:41.200
You're going down Hope Road. You're
going like you know, you're going the

316
00:26:41.440 --> 00:26:47.359
throughout Kingston basically like the corporate area, and they have the trucks that follow

317
00:26:47.440 --> 00:26:51.440
and so everybody has their cup and
everything, and then you have your lunch

318
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station, which, depending on the
band you're playing with, is really nice.

319
00:26:55.200 --> 00:26:57.279
They're tents, their air conditioned some
of them. You know, you

320
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have your box food and then they
have the garbage to throw them away.

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So I always say I can only
speak for Jamaica, but I will say

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I've never seen that now, the
people jumping up and down. Yes,

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But here's the thing I love about
Jamaica Carnival. And again this is just

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my experience where I think it differs
from let's say Miami Carnival, because those

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are the only two I've been to. Right, you don't have, like,

326
00:27:23.079 --> 00:27:26.200
especially as a woman, like random
men just coming up to you,

327
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because, like you said, you
are like half naked depending on where you're

328
00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:33.599
wearing, right, So that can
seem like that might be uncomfortable. But

329
00:27:33.720 --> 00:27:40.599
I find that they're very respectful of
people's space. And of course you're usually

330
00:27:40.599 --> 00:27:42.559
with you know, your girlfriends are
sorry, or you have your little group

331
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and you're constantly moving. So it's
also a great workout. Yeah, no,

332
00:27:47.960 --> 00:27:52.799
absolutely that I agree. Speaking of
that fun fact, so according to

333
00:27:55.160 --> 00:27:56.279
Wall I can't even say, according
to I forget where I found it.

334
00:27:56.319 --> 00:28:03.759
But according to not Me, revelers
can burn up to six hundred calories per

335
00:28:03.880 --> 00:28:08.839
hour while that's during carnival, So
forget the gym. If we just play

336
00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:15.680
masks in every country and dance our
way to a flat tummy. So forget

337
00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:21.640
that committee, just go to a
couple of carnivals and you know, celebrate

338
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life. And you know, I
say that jokingly, but I think it's

339
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a part of our culture that I'm
glad Jamaica is embracing now because technically that's

340
00:28:30.279 --> 00:28:33.240
not really our culture. That's more
like a trainy thing, right. We

341
00:28:33.319 --> 00:28:36.920
all know Brazil has their own version
of carnival. From what we know,

342
00:28:37.480 --> 00:28:40.920
that's a trainy thing. But Jamaica
has really embraced it. And I think

343
00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:44.960
that's great because at Jamaica Carnival,
they'll even you know, put some dance

344
00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.759
all in there and maybe while you're
eating your lunch, play some reggae.

345
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So I think it's just that,
like you said earlier, we're all one.

346
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You know, Trinidad hates me,
Dominican, we're all one Arabion,

347
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you know. And I think it's
great when we infuse cultures. Yeah,

348
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:06.480
absolutely, I mean you're talking about
somebody. My only experiences were Miami and

349
00:29:06.680 --> 00:29:10.920
I went to carnival in Baltimore.
You did, my gosh, I never

350
00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:14.680
knew that they had a carnival there. I happen to be there that weekend.

351
00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:17.079
Yeah, like, oh, what's
there to do this weekend? And

352
00:29:17.079 --> 00:29:19.519
say, oh, they're having a
Caribbean carnival. So nice. It was

353
00:29:19.559 --> 00:29:23.920
definitely different, okay, and it
wasn't bad. It was different, but

354
00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:30.480
those were my experience. So I'm
basing my experiences off at you my carnival

355
00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:34.559
and the Caribbean Carnival they had in
Baltimore. So but I think I can

356
00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:41.680
definitely suck up the old CD issues
and enjoy Jamaica or Trinidad for sure.

357
00:29:41.880 --> 00:29:45.759
Definitely we'll have to We'll have to
figure that out, Yeah, for sure.

358
00:29:48.599 --> 00:29:52.920
Okay. So navigating the role of
the oldest sister in a Caribbean hossehold,

359
00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:59.720
I think although I'm not the oldest, my observation often comes with lots

360
00:29:59.720 --> 00:30:06.359
of responsibility, right, So how
do you navigate that, you know,

361
00:30:06.519 --> 00:30:10.799
still being like in that leadership position, I would say under your parents.

362
00:30:11.759 --> 00:30:17.319
Yeah, well, as you know, I am also coined in a family

363
00:30:17.359 --> 00:30:22.279
Sergeant lime Green. Yes, so
I didn't know if you wanted your your

364
00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:25.359
pseudonym out there, but yes,
that's okay. Yes, I'm known as

365
00:30:25.400 --> 00:30:30.240
Sergeant lime Green. Long story,
so you know, being the oldest.

366
00:30:30.240 --> 00:30:36.000
You're the guinea pig for everything.
So everything that a parent does and and

367
00:30:36.079 --> 00:30:40.640
has tried out or is trying to
model or learn, you experienced all of

368
00:30:40.680 --> 00:30:45.119
that as the first born, right
because you are the guinea pig through life

369
00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:51.599
for new parents. Being that I
am the oldest of three, you know,

370
00:30:51.799 --> 00:30:55.599
I just always try to I've always
tried to be a good example to

371
00:30:55.720 --> 00:31:00.119
my younger siblings. Was that perfect, No, But I always tried to

372
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:03.759
be a good example. I was
also a protector. I always wanted to

373
00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:08.039
make sure I protected, you know, my siblings and know that they can

374
00:31:08.079 --> 00:31:15.680
come to me for protection. But
you struck up a good point about me

375
00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:18.079
not having anybody to go to.
You know, that's where the cousins come

376
00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:25.599
in, you know. You know
I had older cousins like my cousin Tanya,

377
00:31:26.839 --> 00:31:30.480
my cousin Janille, I you know, my cousin Charyl and she rest

378
00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:36.839
in peace. My boy cousins,
just having them, they were kind of

379
00:31:37.000 --> 00:31:41.920
like the ones where they made me
feel younger because I had the older cousins

380
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:45.200
and then especially the ones I was
really close to. That's kind of where

381
00:31:45.279 --> 00:31:51.599
my refuge would be. But in
the household itself, it was all me.

382
00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:56.079
It was all me, you know, and then today you know,

383
00:31:56.279 --> 00:31:59.839
that's why it's really important to have
a really good relationship with your siblings,

384
00:31:59.880 --> 00:32:02.920
because you know, like the saying
says, they're the best friends that God

385
00:32:04.039 --> 00:32:08.200
naturally gives you, you know.
So I think today, I think I

386
00:32:08.240 --> 00:32:14.039
still kind of serve a leadership role
to my brother and sister even though they're

387
00:32:14.039 --> 00:32:20.200
adults now. They'll still come to
me with any advice or questions or issues

388
00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:24.640
just like we're kids. So it
doesn't change because of the age. I'm

389
00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:30.960
still the oldest. My parents still
treat me like I'm the oldest. So

390
00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:34.039
it's it's just one of those things, you know, God picked me to

391
00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:37.720
be the oldest. The good thing
is, I think I've handled the position

392
00:32:37.839 --> 00:32:44.960
well and I enjoy being that,
uh you know, having that bond with

393
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:49.599
my sister and brother where they can
come to me if they need anything.

394
00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:52.559
So I enjoy my role. I
take it and I take it seriously,

395
00:32:53.279 --> 00:33:00.279
and I think my parents were good
at being good example as parents to old

396
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:05.759
children who have a good relationship.
Yeah, that's very very important, Yeah,

397
00:33:05.920 --> 00:33:08.079
very important, because as I'm sure
you know, there are a lot

398
00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:14.279
of families or siblings you know that
don't speak at all. You know what

399
00:33:14.359 --> 00:33:21.359
that means. So it's I think
that we grew up, you know,

400
00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:27.279
with a strong sense of family.
And I know, for me, being

401
00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:31.599
the youngest girl, I always thought
like that was normal, like everybody functioned

402
00:33:31.640 --> 00:33:35.759
like that, because that's just all
I saw. It's not until I get

403
00:33:35.759 --> 00:33:38.920
older and I realized, wait,
people don't talk to their parents, like

404
00:33:39.160 --> 00:33:45.400
what. People don't like their siblings
or don't speak or you know, don't

405
00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:49.880
tell them they love them. Huh. And not from a judge way.

406
00:33:49.960 --> 00:33:52.000
I just like you said, when
you don't know something you're it's a shock,

407
00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:55.559
like, oh, I didn't know
that was a thing, you know,

408
00:33:55.759 --> 00:34:00.000
and it's real. People would look
at me and I'm saying, you

409
00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:02.039
know, oh, I can't do
this. I have to go with my

410
00:34:02.119 --> 00:34:05.799
cousins, or I can't do this, I'm going with my parents, or

411
00:34:06.599 --> 00:34:10.039
you know, I laugh with your
parents all the time. I literally hang

412
00:34:10.039 --> 00:34:14.559
out with your parents by myself,
like normally. I've been like that since

413
00:34:14.559 --> 00:34:17.079
I was a child. But even
as I got older, we ran out

414
00:34:17.119 --> 00:34:22.360
the country, We've gone to parties, and I remember saying that to people

415
00:34:22.360 --> 00:34:24.880
as I got older, and they're
like you hang out with your aunts and

416
00:34:25.000 --> 00:34:30.079
uncle like huh oh. They they
tell you something about older older people.

417
00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:36.679
They are so much fun and they
can They're not in their phones. They're

418
00:34:36.679 --> 00:34:39.239
gonna go hang out. They're gonna
have a good time. They're gonna enjoy

419
00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:45.400
the moment. They keep it real. They're gonna they have this they have

420
00:34:45.480 --> 00:34:51.199
this ability to tell like jokes and
they're not even trying to write. It's

421
00:34:51.280 --> 00:34:55.599
just everything that comes out their mom
is absolutely hilarious and they have no filter.

422
00:34:57.960 --> 00:35:02.079
You know that. I'm absolutely love
hanging out with older people, my

423
00:35:02.239 --> 00:35:08.000
parents. They're just fun people.
Older people are just fun and they sometimes

424
00:35:08.039 --> 00:35:12.199
can outparty us believe it. Oh
yeah, no, definitely so shei's the

425
00:35:12.239 --> 00:35:15.760
Caribbean ones, Yes, something about
something that Caribbean blood where they will party,

426
00:35:15.880 --> 00:35:20.679
yes, very late through the morning
time, you know, and they'll

427
00:35:20.679 --> 00:35:24.119
have a good time. So that
that's definitely true. Definitely definitely. And

428
00:35:24.159 --> 00:35:28.639
I mean, as you know,
and everybody that knows me personally knows,

429
00:35:28.960 --> 00:35:31.920
you know, I have like a
really special bond with your mom that I've

430
00:35:31.960 --> 00:35:37.119
had since I was a baby,
you know, even when I wasn't living

431
00:35:37.119 --> 00:35:39.000
in this country, like and I
used to come to visit. My dad

432
00:35:39.039 --> 00:35:43.280
would tell me stories. When I
got older of whole, I'd be bawling,

433
00:35:43.360 --> 00:35:45.119
crying, and nobody could get me
to stop crying, and as soon

434
00:35:45.119 --> 00:35:47.880
as he gave me to your mom, I would just stop, you know,

435
00:35:49.199 --> 00:35:52.719
So to me, it's never been
weird, right, So I think

436
00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:58.079
those are really good points that you
bring up about. Like you said,

437
00:35:58.559 --> 00:36:01.679
being the oldest, but you had
you know, Janille, you had Cheryl,

438
00:36:01.800 --> 00:36:05.800
like you had other cousins that you
can go to, so you never

439
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:09.440
quite felt alone. It's just in
the house. Obviously you had to set

440
00:36:09.480 --> 00:36:14.199
the example and things like that.
That makes sense, right to be a

441
00:36:14.239 --> 00:36:17.000
part of a family where were are. We don't see each other every day,

442
00:36:17.079 --> 00:36:22.800
we may not talk every day,
the love is there and and it's

443
00:36:22.840 --> 00:36:27.360
it's a wonderful, wonderful. Uh. This is a wonderful family to be

444
00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:31.079
in. And being the oldest is
really cool because even my younger cousins,

445
00:36:31.159 --> 00:36:36.400
I'm kind of the oldest too as
well. So I like my position as

446
00:36:36.440 --> 00:36:42.639
being the oldest siblings. Nice nice
speaking of that, as though, or

447
00:36:42.639 --> 00:36:45.360
I should say, continuing from that, as the oldest sibling. You know,

448
00:36:46.599 --> 00:36:52.719
an office manager at a law firm, a devoted mom, like partner,

449
00:36:52.039 --> 00:36:55.760
a daughter, all of these things. How do you manage I don't

450
00:36:55.800 --> 00:36:59.719
like to say multitask because I really
don't think there's such a thing, but

451
00:37:00.119 --> 00:37:06.320
hope you manage just juggling all of
these diverse roles. And are there specific

452
00:37:06.440 --> 00:37:12.280
strategies or like mindset shifts that you've
been able to create to help you?

453
00:37:12.360 --> 00:37:15.920
Because you know a lots of millennials
that listen to this or even gen Z

454
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:22.199
they have all these different things going
on and sometimes it can be overwhelming.

455
00:37:22.280 --> 00:37:25.159
So do you have any tips or
suggestions that you can give to people listening

456
00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:30.360
to How you manage that? Oh? My goodness, absolutely So. Just

457
00:37:30.400 --> 00:37:36.639
to give a little bit of background, So, I'm a new mom and

458
00:37:36.679 --> 00:37:40.840
I started. I decided to start
to start this motherhood journey at forty one.

459
00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:47.639
So and God decided, Okay,
I'm gonna I'm gonna bless you with

460
00:37:47.800 --> 00:37:52.719
your first child and he's going to
be a boy, so let's start there.

461
00:37:52.960 --> 00:38:01.800
Yeah. Yeah, So I'm raising
of energetic, fun, loving,

462
00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:13.719
climbing, running up and down two
year old. While everybody knows my partner,

463
00:38:14.679 --> 00:38:20.079
my other half, he is uh
a trial lawyer. We have two

464
00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:25.800
firms, one important Saint Lucie One
in West Palm Beach. They're absolutely busy.

465
00:38:27.320 --> 00:38:30.960
So I deal with the operation side, and I do a lot of

466
00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:37.559
litigation par legal work on a daily
basis. We bring work home because we

467
00:38:37.719 --> 00:38:43.800
just work that hard. Our staff
is incredible. And then I am,

468
00:38:44.119 --> 00:38:49.760
you know, navigating the household stuff, you know, the cooking I cook.

469
00:38:49.920 --> 00:38:52.960
I am. I am a woman
who cooks. I cook. I

470
00:38:52.000 --> 00:38:58.559
come home and I make meals.
Okay, on the days. Every now

471
00:38:58.639 --> 00:39:00.159
and then I'll say, hey,
let's go grab something, but I cook.

472
00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:05.400
So I'm cooking, making sure I
get the baby to bed. It's

473
00:39:05.480 --> 00:39:08.519
a lot. It is a lot. I also have a bonus son.

474
00:39:08.559 --> 00:39:13.280
He's fourteen. He's an absolute jewel. So there's nothing I have to do

475
00:39:13.360 --> 00:39:15.800
with him except feed him. That's
all I have to do. He is

476
00:39:15.880 --> 00:39:20.480
self sufficient, he does his homework, he is a scholar, he is

477
00:39:20.519 --> 00:39:23.400
a good kid. So God has
definitely belessed me with that aspect. But

478
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:29.360
it still doesn't take on take It
still doesn't take away from the fact that

479
00:39:29.400 --> 00:39:34.159
I have to make sure they're okay. They're miners. So my life is

480
00:39:34.239 --> 00:39:37.239
extremely busy, and I have a
lot of people who depend on me.

481
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:43.599
How I navigate through all of that
is I have to make sure I have

482
00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:49.719
a life. I have life.
I will go to. I go to

483
00:39:49.920 --> 00:39:57.239
a lot of games, basketball games, football games. I travel, We've

484
00:39:57.599 --> 00:40:01.320
we've been traveling a lot lately.
And I will come home. I'll drink

485
00:40:01.320 --> 00:40:06.159
a glass of wine. I'm not
ashamed to say it. I will drink

486
00:40:06.159 --> 00:40:09.000
a glass and depending on how bad
or how stressful the evening was, I

487
00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:15.480
may add a little bit of vodka
to But that is how I navigate through

488
00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:19.559
it all. God gave me one
life, and in this one life he

489
00:40:19.639 --> 00:40:24.400
gave me. You best believe I'm
going to take full advantage of it.

490
00:40:24.880 --> 00:40:29.639
I cannot, could, you know, always do with people's problems at twenty

491
00:40:29.679 --> 00:40:31.920
four to seven. I can't always, you know, be in the house

492
00:40:32.079 --> 00:40:37.800
cooking twenty four to seven. I
can't always be, you know, having

493
00:40:37.840 --> 00:40:40.079
one left arm pull and one white
arm pull. I have to protect my

494
00:40:40.239 --> 00:40:45.599
mental health and my happiness as well. Yes, so I make sure,

495
00:40:45.639 --> 00:40:50.920
and thank God, I'm blessed with
a partner who you know, is very

496
00:40:51.519 --> 00:40:55.239
encouraging to making sure I have that
time for myself, you know, even

497
00:40:55.280 --> 00:41:00.960
if it's me driving to publics to
you know, get some groceries or pick

498
00:41:01.039 --> 00:41:06.239
up something and me pulling up to
McDonald's drive through getting a large fry no

499
00:41:06.480 --> 00:41:12.079
salt with dipping sauce is sweet and
sour. That's happiness to me, and

500
00:41:10.400 --> 00:41:15.960
that that takes a break from me
dealing with a hectic life. And I'll

501
00:41:15.039 --> 00:41:20.599
sit in a parking lot and I'll
dip each fry in that sauce and I'll

502
00:41:20.639 --> 00:41:23.679
be on my phone, probably scrolling
through Instagram, and for that ten minutes,

503
00:41:24.280 --> 00:41:28.599
that's joy for me, you know. Or or if it's with me

504
00:41:28.800 --> 00:41:31.760
packing up our family, us doing
our annual road trip every year, or

505
00:41:31.800 --> 00:41:37.079
it's going to going you know,
going somewhere out the country, that is

506
00:41:37.239 --> 00:41:40.119
you have to have a balance.
So do I do that or do we

507
00:41:40.199 --> 00:41:44.760
do that every month? No,
but we do it enough to where I

508
00:41:44.840 --> 00:41:46.519
work hard and I play hard.
But you have to have a balance.

509
00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:51.079
And whatever your happiness, it could
be jumping on somebody's plane, or it

510
00:41:51.119 --> 00:41:54.840
could be dipping a fry in some
sauce and parking somewhere, but you have

511
00:41:54.960 --> 00:42:02.079
to take that time to do you
absolutely great. I think that's extremely sound

512
00:42:02.079 --> 00:42:08.079
advice, you know, And it's
funny. We have an episode called I

513
00:42:08.119 --> 00:42:14.239
Forget what it's called. But basically
it's about focusing on implementing luxury in your

514
00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:17.920
life, right, and that luxury
doesn't have to mean your drinking champagne and

515
00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:22.719
spending one hundred dollars luxury. And
one of the examples I actually use could

516
00:42:22.760 --> 00:42:25.320
be if you're a mom just sitting
in a quiet house with a book.

517
00:42:27.159 --> 00:42:30.800
Oh, it could just be sitting
in your car for ten minutes before you

518
00:42:30.840 --> 00:42:34.079
walk inside the house. It doesn't
mean you hate being home, but that's

519
00:42:34.360 --> 00:42:37.039
your time to yourself. Like,
okay, of course I am me because

520
00:42:37.079 --> 00:42:42.400
I think what a lot of people
are not people a lot of mothers sometimes

521
00:42:43.039 --> 00:42:46.760
don't realize, is sometimes they can
lose their identity in their role as a

522
00:42:46.840 --> 00:42:52.480
mother, partner, job, whatever
your career is, and you're yourself first,

523
00:42:53.159 --> 00:42:58.199
right, So I think all of
what you said is so important.

524
00:42:58.199 --> 00:43:00.920
Whether it's travel, whether it's like
you said, dipping your fry in that

525
00:43:00.920 --> 00:43:07.719
sweet and sour sauce. Whatever is
your moment of luxury or your moment of

526
00:43:07.800 --> 00:43:10.599
self care. Oh, you have
to do it. And you also said

527
00:43:12.079 --> 00:43:16.159
it's important because it goes to one
of our dat noasun safe segments, right,

528
00:43:16.199 --> 00:43:21.440
It's important that you have a partner
that supports that, because exactly,

529
00:43:21.440 --> 00:43:24.639
imagine if you got all this going
on mish and then you have a partner

530
00:43:24.679 --> 00:43:28.519
that's like, why aren't you here? Like why aren't you doing for me?

531
00:43:29.039 --> 00:43:30.159
You know what I mean, and
you're trying to figure out how you

532
00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:37.360
became a mom of now three right
exactly. So I think that's such sound

533
00:43:37.400 --> 00:43:45.360
advice because I know that the older
we get, it seems that society will

534
00:43:45.360 --> 00:43:49.360
have us believe it's such a horrible
thing to be single, right, And

535
00:43:49.400 --> 00:43:52.239
I think we've all had stages in
our life where we thought, oh my

536
00:43:52.320 --> 00:43:54.199
gosh, I'm this age like I'm
still single, I want to do this,

537
00:43:54.400 --> 00:43:57.920
and oh my gosh, maybe I
should just settle. Maybe my list

538
00:43:57.960 --> 00:44:02.039
is too tight. No, yeah, because trust me when I say it

539
00:44:02.199 --> 00:44:07.519
is better to be alone and be
at peace than to be with somebody that

540
00:44:07.599 --> 00:44:12.679
you constantly feel that you're not at
peace with. Just to say you're with

541
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:17.920
somebody, Because here's the thing,
you would be surprised so many people on

542
00:44:19.039 --> 00:44:22.599
social media maybe that even see in
life at work, at publics wherever,

543
00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:29.519
that are masquerading as having this great
life and they go home to hell.

544
00:44:30.280 --> 00:44:36.440
Hell, okay, mentally or physically
and to me personally, I think mental

545
00:44:36.519 --> 00:44:44.119
is worse because like if you box
me down, my eye is on a

546
00:44:44.199 --> 00:44:46.519
heel and let me just let me
start over, just to make sure I

547
00:44:46.519 --> 00:44:52.559
cover my bases. Both are bad. I'm not saying except one over the

548
00:44:52.599 --> 00:45:00.320
other at all, but that that
mental mischade, that and your peace being

549
00:45:00.400 --> 00:45:05.559
messed with it will kill you.
Yeah, it will. It really will

550
00:45:05.840 --> 00:45:08.679
quickly and silent. You can heal
quicker from a punch and a stroke.

551
00:45:08.840 --> 00:45:15.079
Okay, So, I, like
I said, I'm glad you said that,

552
00:45:15.440 --> 00:45:17.639
but I say many times, I'm
just going to reiterate for our listeners.

553
00:45:17.639 --> 00:45:22.679
They're probably aggravated. But I think
it's important because although we talk to

554
00:45:22.760 --> 00:45:28.480
men and women on this podcast,
the root of it is to empower women

555
00:45:28.599 --> 00:45:30.119
and to make sure that we're all
out here, like you said, with

556
00:45:30.159 --> 00:45:36.920
this one life that God gave us
fearlessly and fabulously whatever that means. Absolutely,

557
00:45:37.639 --> 00:45:39.960
I just want to put this out
there that goes for women putting their

558
00:45:39.960 --> 00:45:45.880
hands on absolutely, and women mentally
abusing men. Absolutely. It's not just

559
00:45:45.039 --> 00:45:51.320
about I think it's important to all
soul. And I'm glad you brought up

560
00:45:51.559 --> 00:45:54.559
you know, the men woman woman
man as far as like experience any form

561
00:45:54.639 --> 00:46:00.159
experiencing any form of abuse. Because
here's the thing what it comes down to,

562
00:46:00.239 --> 00:46:06.840
in my opinion, everybody has certain
values that they're raised with. You

563
00:46:06.920 --> 00:46:10.480
have things that maybe your parents,
your guardian, whoever raised you may be

564
00:46:10.760 --> 00:46:15.039
told you, but you also have
things that you saw. Everything comes back

565
00:46:15.039 --> 00:46:21.599
to our childhood and you cannot be
in any kind of relationship, I don't

566
00:46:21.639 --> 00:46:28.280
care if it's a friendship, business
partnership, romantic relationship with anyone that doesn't

567
00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:31.440
have your same values. And here's
why, speaking on the specific topic of

568
00:46:31.480 --> 00:46:36.000
what you just brought up with men
and women, as men and women,

569
00:46:36.119 --> 00:46:40.840
we have to be very aware of
who we're getting in partnerships, friendships,

570
00:46:40.880 --> 00:46:45.639
relationships with because if your values are
different, you don't have to come from

571
00:46:45.639 --> 00:46:52.199
the same background, same socioeconomical stance. But you see values biche. You

572
00:46:52.239 --> 00:46:55.159
can pick up on people's values safe. Yeah, a lot of time,

573
00:46:55.280 --> 00:47:00.639
and I really from experience because I've
learned the hard ways. And just to

574
00:47:00.920 --> 00:47:06.119
to kind of add to what you're
saying, you know, you mentioned something

575
00:47:06.119 --> 00:47:09.360
about list. Let's start there.
Throw it this list, because not to

576
00:47:09.400 --> 00:47:14.599
say you shouldn't have you gotta have. You have to have some type of

577
00:47:14.719 --> 00:47:19.880
a standard. Absolutely throw away this
list because the ones out there that you

578
00:47:20.000 --> 00:47:24.719
may be, the ones out there
that you may think meet this list,

579
00:47:25.119 --> 00:47:30.679
are the ones you may have very
well have severe issues with or may not

580
00:47:30.719 --> 00:47:34.360
have those values like you. And
the ones you don't have on that list,

581
00:47:34.880 --> 00:47:38.079
babe, they value might be better
than yours. Yeah, okay,

582
00:47:38.639 --> 00:47:43.360
so you have to really throw that
list out. And then the second thing

583
00:47:43.400 --> 00:47:45.760
you have to do is you have
to make sure you know what you're looking

584
00:47:45.880 --> 00:47:50.159
for in those values. Okay,
you get, we get. We talk

585
00:47:50.199 --> 00:47:53.519
about these red flags or these signs. Some of them can just be a

586
00:47:54.039 --> 00:47:57.280
some bad day, and then some
of them can be no, no,

587
00:47:57.280 --> 00:48:00.159
no, no, that's who they
are, you know. So you you

588
00:48:00.199 --> 00:48:05.000
want to find those try to at
least be able to be a be a

589
00:48:05.119 --> 00:48:09.519
vigilant to already start seeing these signs
so you're not putting yourself in these relationships

590
00:48:09.880 --> 00:48:13.960
that become hard to get out of. And sometimes it's not that you want

591
00:48:14.000 --> 00:48:16.440
to be abused or you want to
be taken advantage of. Sometimes it's just

592
00:48:16.480 --> 00:48:20.360
gone so far it's hard to get
out of. You've grown a comfort,

593
00:48:20.880 --> 00:48:23.599
and that's in that in that situation. So you got to throw away that

594
00:48:23.719 --> 00:48:28.519
list and and just you know,
go out there, you know, have

595
00:48:28.760 --> 00:48:31.320
fun, meet people, and then
people will eventually show you who they are

596
00:48:31.760 --> 00:48:35.559
there you go and you just have
to believe it. It's up to you

597
00:48:35.599 --> 00:48:37.320
to believe it. And you have
to know if it's just a bad day

598
00:48:37.880 --> 00:48:43.960
or if that's a character characteristic issue. But we all have bad days,

599
00:48:43.960 --> 00:48:47.480
were he absolutely, But some people
that's just who That's just who they are,

600
00:48:47.960 --> 00:48:52.400
right, And I think that's really
the lesson, right, because you

601
00:48:52.519 --> 00:48:55.360
have a bad day here and there, that's different than somebody doing the same

602
00:48:55.440 --> 00:49:00.320
thing over and over and over it, right, Like either with the one

603
00:49:00.360 --> 00:49:06.320
of the datnasone safe segments where we
talked about the person not commenting on the

604
00:49:06.360 --> 00:49:09.039
comments but the messages, and you
said, well, if it's a consistent

605
00:49:09.159 --> 00:49:14.360
thing, that's weird, or it
just you, that's weird. But if

606
00:49:14.360 --> 00:49:16.440
they do it with everybody, so
little things like that, you know,

607
00:49:16.559 --> 00:49:21.039
in that case, if they're doing
it with just you, some is not

608
00:49:21.159 --> 00:49:27.559
right there, right, you know, that's a good point. Yeah,

609
00:49:27.639 --> 00:49:30.840
moving on to another aspect of your
life. You're really Jamaica and you're full

610
00:49:30.880 --> 00:49:37.000
of jobs. But another aspect of
your life is that you are a member

611
00:49:37.239 --> 00:49:44.199
of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority and that
adds another layer to your identity. Right,

612
00:49:44.960 --> 00:49:52.920
So how has sisterhood contributed would you
say to your personal growth? And

613
00:49:52.599 --> 00:49:58.320
for persons listening that are unfamiliar with
sorority life, you know, we have

614
00:49:58.400 --> 00:50:01.679
persons throughout the Caribbean, Africa,
Europe, everywhere, and everyone is not

615
00:50:01.760 --> 00:50:08.239
familiar with sororities. So can you
also explain how what the sorority is maybe

616
00:50:08.280 --> 00:50:14.559
a little bit short summary of its
foundation and explain how you may be leverage

617
00:50:14.840 --> 00:50:20.320
those connections that you make in the
sorority in both your personal and professional life.

618
00:50:20.800 --> 00:50:22.320
Yeah. Well, first of all, I want to give a shout

619
00:50:22.360 --> 00:50:28.119
out to my sorority, Delta Sigma
Data Sorority, Incorporated. We celebrated one

620
00:50:28.199 --> 00:50:32.400
hundred and eleven years yesterday was our
Founder's Day. So that's all my Soros,

621
00:50:32.440 --> 00:50:36.639
thank you. And believe it or
not, we have chapters all over

622
00:50:36.679 --> 00:50:39.280
the world. So we actually have
a chapter in Jamaica, we have a

623
00:50:39.360 --> 00:50:42.960
chapter in Africa. Oh yeah,
we have chapters all over the world.

624
00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:45.360
We actually have a chapter in Asia. I think in Japan. We have

625
00:50:45.679 --> 00:50:51.199
a huge chapter in Japan. So
we are worldwide. We were founded at

626
00:50:51.239 --> 00:50:59.159
Howard University January thirteenth, nineteen thirteen, and we are a dedicated group of

627
00:51:00.079 --> 00:51:05.320
predominantly Black Black women, but we
have all races that have joined our sorority,

628
00:51:05.320 --> 00:51:10.920
which we embrace in love. Our
founding are our model basically or or

629
00:51:10.920 --> 00:51:15.400
what we're known for, our scholarship, sisterhood, and service. We're very

630
00:51:15.400 --> 00:51:22.320
big on service serving our community.
We are the largest Greek Black female or

631
00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:30.599
sorority Greek lettered organization in the world. We are we're accomplished women in many

632
00:51:30.639 --> 00:51:35.199
different aspects and we our biggest thing
is service. We serve, Serve,

633
00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:39.360
serve, serve. Any Delta you
know will tell you one of the when

634
00:51:39.159 --> 00:51:45.360
when trying to become a Delta and
going through your interest process and eventually becoming

635
00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:49.599
a Delta, you have to have
you have to have community service on your

636
00:51:49.639 --> 00:51:53.639
record. We serve, we are
and we're we have to be college educated.

637
00:51:53.679 --> 00:51:59.679
We have a GPA limit, but
we go we surpass outside of the

638
00:51:59.719 --> 00:52:05.280
college aspect and we now go into
what we call graduate chapter and we still

639
00:52:05.320 --> 00:52:07.599
serve, you know up until you
know, God calls us home. But

640
00:52:07.760 --> 00:52:12.719
that is what we do. We
serve we love our community and we make

641
00:52:12.760 --> 00:52:15.800
sure we get kids into college.
I love that love. That was a

642
00:52:15.920 --> 00:52:21.159
perfect explanation. So I'm glad you
also said that because I didn't know that

643
00:52:21.280 --> 00:52:24.480
about you know, the Sigma,
thetas or International. So oh yeah.

644
00:52:24.519 --> 00:52:28.360
Those of you out there that were
not, like I said, familiar with

645
00:52:28.440 --> 00:52:31.719
sororities and you want to look into
it, definitely look it up wherever you

646
00:52:31.800 --> 00:52:36.719
live, because baby, they're the
chapter that's revenue. That's right, ye

647
00:52:37.039 --> 00:52:42.400
right, No, never know another
aspect of sisterhood I have. I mean,

648
00:52:42.599 --> 00:52:45.639
you can be I can be in
the middle of nowhere and if I

649
00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:50.960
see one of my sorority sisters with
their letters on or or they have a

650
00:52:51.079 --> 00:52:53.760
jacket or a hat or something,
I can literally go up to them and

651
00:52:53.840 --> 00:52:58.280
say, you know, we greet
each other hayes or we hug and it's

652
00:52:58.360 --> 00:53:00.440
like we know each other for years. Oh, let make it your number,

653
00:53:00.440 --> 00:53:04.760
you need anything, you good.
That level of sisterhood is so special

654
00:53:05.119 --> 00:53:07.320
because I don't even have to know
you. If I just see you and

655
00:53:07.360 --> 00:53:12.239
we can acknowledge each other just through
the symbols of our sorority. It's a

656
00:53:12.280 --> 00:53:15.760
beautiful thing. And then obviously I
have my line sisters. Those are the

657
00:53:15.760 --> 00:53:21.480
ones you go through your process with
and they're like family to me. I

658
00:53:21.519 --> 00:53:24.079
mean, I have line sisters who
they're my there. I mean, they're

659
00:53:24.119 --> 00:53:29.519
they're beyond my line sisters, They're
like my friends. They are people I

660
00:53:29.519 --> 00:53:32.800
will like. I was at one
of our events last night and I was

661
00:53:32.840 --> 00:53:36.400
introducing someone to one of my line
sisters, and I was like, by

662
00:53:36.440 --> 00:53:37.679
the way, this is somebody I
jump in front of a train for.

663
00:53:38.280 --> 00:53:40.800
And I mean that, I mean, we just have that type of bond.

664
00:53:40.880 --> 00:53:46.679
It's a beautiful bond. It's a
special bond, and we've gone through

665
00:53:46.840 --> 00:53:51.960
highs and lows. I you know, I have one line sister who is

666
00:53:52.119 --> 00:53:57.599
now she is fully, fully cancer
free. She was at stage four and

667
00:53:57.760 --> 00:54:04.400
pregnant at with stage four cancer and
she birthed a beautiful baby and she is

668
00:54:04.519 --> 00:54:09.360
healthy. She's cancer free. I've
had another sister whose child was diagnosed with

669
00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:13.920
cancer. She's cancer free. I
mean, we have got We've gone to

670
00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:17.280
weddings, we've gone to funerals.
I mean, we it's it's it's a

671
00:54:17.320 --> 00:54:22.800
bond that I can't even put into
words, but it's it's truly special.

672
00:54:22.159 --> 00:54:27.519
It's truly specialing and congratulations to both
of them on that. That's yes,

673
00:54:27.639 --> 00:54:30.920
Yes, that's really wow, that's
really yes. Shout to Joey, shout

674
00:54:30.920 --> 00:54:39.360
out to Jonie's survivors. Yes.
Okay, So with such a full plate,

675
00:54:40.119 --> 00:54:46.920
right, your plate coming like Christmas
morning akansa physical dumpling into Yeah,

676
00:54:47.079 --> 00:54:53.320
and with such a full plate,
taking care of yourself is crucial, right

677
00:54:53.320 --> 00:54:57.840
because we've talked about that self care
and making sure you're a good first.

678
00:54:58.039 --> 00:55:00.960
It's a French fride in the car
that may mean, yeah, how do

679
00:55:01.039 --> 00:55:06.199
you prioritize self care? Because you
talked about what you do, but how

680
00:55:06.239 --> 00:55:12.880
do you make sure it's a priority. My Self care really happens at night,

681
00:55:14.400 --> 00:55:17.639
whether it's that glass of wine or
it's just literally putting on my press

682
00:55:17.679 --> 00:55:24.679
white strips, you know, you
know, or just listen. Oral hygiene

683
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:30.280
is very important. Yeah, so
that's a whole other segment, right,

684
00:55:30.880 --> 00:55:36.239
But you know, or putting on
some good face cream and going dostters watching

685
00:55:36.280 --> 00:55:42.039
Jimmy Kimmel. That's how I prioritize
doing everything I need to get done for

686
00:55:42.079 --> 00:55:45.400
the day, and then that last
hour and a half before I go to

687
00:55:45.440 --> 00:55:51.960
bed, it's all about me.
So that's where I try to I prioritize

688
00:55:51.960 --> 00:55:54.679
everything. I just make sure the
household is good. You know, baby's

689
00:55:54.719 --> 00:56:00.199
good, baby's fed, baby had
a bath, clods are ready for school,

690
00:56:00.519 --> 00:56:04.239
everybody's full. And then that's when
self care starts for me. Does

691
00:56:04.239 --> 00:56:07.599
it seam unfair? You know sometimes, but it's okay. I've learned to

692
00:56:07.719 --> 00:56:12.559
navigate as long as I get that
time for myself right careuse in the morning,

693
00:56:13.079 --> 00:56:15.639
mid noon, day or at night. Right, I get that time.

694
00:56:16.159 --> 00:56:21.719
So I just try to navigate through
all of my responsibilities, and all

695
00:56:21.760 --> 00:56:24.559
of which were our responsibilities I enjoy
right start there. If they may be

696
00:56:24.719 --> 00:56:30.000
hard, but I enjoy them.
And then that time is for me.

697
00:56:30.039 --> 00:56:31.639
So that's how I kind of navigate
through everything. That last part of the

698
00:56:31.679 --> 00:56:37.079
evening is for miche. I love
that love, yes, yes, yes,

699
00:56:37.119 --> 00:56:40.119
thank you. So. Thinking about
the legacy that you want to leave

700
00:56:40.159 --> 00:56:49.039
behind, both personally and professionally,
what values and principles do you hope to

701
00:56:49.159 --> 00:56:55.000
instill in your child and how do
you envision leaving a positive impact on your

702
00:56:55.039 --> 00:57:00.239
community, because as you said,
Delta Sigma Theta is very community can be

703
00:57:00.360 --> 00:57:04.840
oriented. Right, Oh, that's
a good one. I would first start

704
00:57:04.880 --> 00:57:09.480
with integrity. Having integrity I think, you know, we say it all

705
00:57:09.519 --> 00:57:14.480
the time. God gives you your
name. You can have everything in life

706
00:57:14.960 --> 00:57:17.159
and everything going for you, but
God gives you one thing, and that's

707
00:57:17.199 --> 00:57:21.320
your name, and you have to
protect it. And we tell our kids,

708
00:57:21.519 --> 00:57:25.039
you have this name, right,
your name tells a story, but

709
00:57:25.119 --> 00:57:29.719
you have to protect that name because
that's all you have. You can have

710
00:57:29.719 --> 00:57:32.159
all the money in the world,
you can have all the success, you

711
00:57:32.159 --> 00:57:37.119
can have all the property, you
can have all these things, but once

712
00:57:37.199 --> 00:57:42.119
you mess up that name, everything
can crash, crumbling. And you think

713
00:57:42.159 --> 00:57:45.039
about what's in the media. Now. I'm not going to say names,

714
00:57:45.119 --> 00:57:49.599
but certain hip hop moguls, you
know, you can be on top one

715
00:57:49.679 --> 00:57:53.199
day and in that name, yep, you know, now it's tarnished because

716
00:57:53.679 --> 00:57:59.880
you know, possible lack of integrity. So I would definitely want to leave

717
00:57:59.880 --> 00:58:05.679
a legacy behind that my mom or
mische had, she had a lot of

718
00:58:05.719 --> 00:58:10.079
integrity. She wasn't perfect, but
she cared about people, she loved people,

719
00:58:10.400 --> 00:58:15.400
she was selfless, and she was
a good person. And I think

720
00:58:16.519 --> 00:58:22.480
that's a really important legacy, at
least for me to leave behind where somebody

721
00:58:22.480 --> 00:58:28.159
can say my name and other people
will smile. I love that that's important

722
00:58:28.159 --> 00:58:30.159
to me. I may not care
what people think, but what I do

723
00:58:30.239 --> 00:58:37.360
care about is how people what people
think as far as when they hear my

724
00:58:37.519 --> 00:58:40.440
name, I don't care what you
think about me, But when you hear

725
00:58:40.519 --> 00:58:45.800
my name, what comes to mind? You may not like me, or

726
00:58:45.840 --> 00:58:49.000
you may not like some of the
things I may have said or done,

727
00:58:49.119 --> 00:58:52.360
or we may have had an experience
before. But what comes to mind?

728
00:58:52.639 --> 00:58:59.880
Right, does something initially negative come
to mind? Or does something initially positive

729
00:59:00.039 --> 00:59:05.360
come to mind? So it's not
necessarily focusing on what people really think about

730
00:59:05.360 --> 00:59:08.320
you, because people could think what
they want, but they know absolutely you

731
00:59:08.360 --> 00:59:14.400
know. It's what are the reactions
to, you know, the faces,

732
00:59:14.840 --> 00:59:17.800
for the demeanor once your name is
called. It's integrity, you know,

733
00:59:17.880 --> 00:59:20.599
it's you know what. I may
not like her, but guess what,

734
00:59:20.719 --> 00:59:22.159
she had a lot of integrity.
I may not like her, but a

735
00:59:22.199 --> 00:59:24.760
lot of other people liked her.
I may not have liked her, but

736
00:59:24.840 --> 00:59:28.920
you know what, she will give
you the shirt off her back. Yep,

737
00:59:30.239 --> 00:59:32.880
you know. So. Yeah,
So that's I think that's important.

738
00:59:32.920 --> 00:59:37.679
I think it's important for my family
and my children to know that that's the

739
00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:42.400
legacy that I want to leave behind, protecting my name, protecting their name,

740
00:59:42.920 --> 00:59:47.400
and just having integrity. It's doing
what, doing what, doing what's

741
00:59:47.519 --> 00:59:52.119
right when no one is looking.
Amen, that's integrity, perfectly said,

742
00:59:52.480 --> 01:00:00.159
perfectly said. So as we wrap
up our conversation, we have one more

743
01:00:00.239 --> 01:00:05.000
quick segment. But as we wrap
up the wrap up the main portion of

744
01:00:05.000 --> 01:00:09.280
our conversation, I wondered if you
could give some words of wisdom to our

745
01:00:09.360 --> 01:00:16.320
listeners, particularly those who may find
themselves at a crossroads in life. Well,

746
01:00:16.760 --> 01:00:22.760
I am no life coach, as
you said, I can only speak

747
01:00:22.760 --> 01:00:27.360
from the aspect of my own experience
and just basically say, you know,

748
01:00:29.480 --> 01:00:34.719
just love yourself. Love yourself.
Make sure you're around people who love you.

749
01:00:34.760 --> 01:00:42.000
Know that that's really important. Know
that. You know what, if

750
01:00:42.039 --> 01:00:45.320
you are not where you want to
be at this moment, it's okay.

751
01:00:46.079 --> 01:00:52.559
It's okay. You know, it's
okay. If you have some goals and

752
01:00:52.599 --> 01:00:54.880
you feel, oh, I'm too
old, No you're not, go for

753
01:00:55.039 --> 01:01:00.519
it, you know, just just
go for it. Don't let people tell

754
01:01:00.559 --> 01:01:05.960
you where you need to be,
who you need to be with, what

755
01:01:06.039 --> 01:01:10.800
you need to do. Just enjoy
your life, enjoy your life, and

756
01:01:12.639 --> 01:01:15.599
just love on people who love on
you and love yourself. That's all I

757
01:01:15.639 --> 01:01:22.360
can That's what I can say,
beautifully said. I love that. Okay.

758
01:01:22.519 --> 01:01:30.679
So last segment, I'm going to
ask you six random rapid fire questions

759
01:01:30.719 --> 01:01:34.400
okay, and you have to answer
with the first thing that comes to mind.

760
01:01:34.480 --> 01:01:37.519
Okay, okay. So he can
either be one word or like one

761
01:01:37.559 --> 01:01:44.079
sentence. Right, let's do it
all, right. Favorite childhood memory being

762
01:01:44.119 --> 01:01:51.480
in Canada learning how to ride a
bike. Most valuable lesson you learned from

763
01:01:51.480 --> 01:01:57.159
your mom. Nobody's going to be
as honest as me, not even your

764
01:01:57.159 --> 01:02:06.440
friends. The truth. What's one
boundary you've set for yourself recently? Negative

765
01:02:06.960 --> 01:02:13.000
energy or comments around me? Mmm? Love that swerve. If you could

766
01:02:13.000 --> 01:02:16.719
tell your eighteen year old self one
thing, what would you tell her?

767
01:02:17.280 --> 01:02:24.320
Don't open a credit card when you
get to college. Girl, Oh my

768
01:02:24.360 --> 01:02:28.480
god, I went ham no.
But you know what, that's the word.

769
01:02:28.480 --> 01:02:30.880
Somebody needs to hear that word.
Never get out of that debt.

770
01:02:31.360 --> 01:02:35.800
I mean, god, I'm flourishing
now. But man, when you go

771
01:02:35.840 --> 01:02:38.880
to college, don't open that credit
card for a free T shirt? Next

772
01:02:38.960 --> 01:02:46.519
question, or for the free pizza. Pizza? I can open two credit

773
01:02:46.559 --> 01:02:52.840
cards for free pizza. Oh I
digress. Let me tell you. When

774
01:02:52.920 --> 01:03:00.119
hunger make some told you miss told
you on this episode, don't do it.

775
01:03:01.519 --> 01:03:07.800
Oh my gosh, okay, what
makes you wow? This is a

776
01:03:07.800 --> 01:03:13.800
setup? What makes you laugh the
hardest? Oh? Oh good? Nasty

777
01:03:13.960 --> 01:03:16.079
did joke about one of my parents, just like a random When I say

778
01:03:16.199 --> 01:03:20.360
nasty, I don't mean literally,
but just something. My dad caught me

779
01:03:20.400 --> 01:03:23.360
a big juicy be patty face yesterday. I was not expecting that. We

780
01:03:23.440 --> 01:03:28.920
FaceTime. I said, why are
your face like a big joice to be

781
01:03:29.039 --> 01:03:34.960
patted? Oh my god. I
was like, sir, all right,

782
01:03:35.079 --> 01:03:40.039
complete this sentence. To protect my
piece, I stay away from negative people.

783
01:03:40.880 --> 01:03:45.320
Mmm. Simple and to the point. Yeah, I love absolutely,

784
01:03:45.599 --> 01:03:52.119
take that somewhere else. Love that. Love that. And what is your

785
01:03:52.400 --> 01:04:00.840
favorite what's your favorite memory of Jamaica
or being in Jamaica at any Oh my

786
01:04:00.920 --> 01:04:06.119
grandparents' house, just being there and
just getting some cooking from my grandmother and

787
01:04:06.320 --> 01:04:11.519
playing with the friends on the street, our neighbors there. That's oh my

788
01:04:11.559 --> 01:04:15.440
god, if I can take me
back, yeah, precious, precious memories.

789
01:04:16.199 --> 01:04:24.280
Hmmm love that, my man,
Papa and Piece. Okay, so

790
01:04:25.039 --> 01:04:30.480
Mish, thank you so much for
sharing your journey and insights with us.

791
01:04:30.760 --> 01:04:33.519
Absolutely talking the things with me.
I enjoyed it. Thank you so much

792
01:04:33.519 --> 01:04:40.920
for having me, of course.
And I just want to say that being

793
01:04:40.960 --> 01:04:45.880
the oldest again in my view because
I wouldn't know, but no, being

794
01:04:45.920 --> 01:04:54.119
the oldest seems tough in the sense
of you're responsible for so much, right

795
01:04:54.239 --> 01:04:59.800
like you can feel I would think, responsible for everyone being happy or everyone

796
01:04:59.840 --> 01:05:04.519
be okay. And you said it, but I'm I guess affirming what you

797
01:05:04.599 --> 01:05:14.280
said. You've always been somebody that
I looked up to for how you handled

798
01:05:14.280 --> 01:05:20.480
yourself because I think a lot of
times being the oldest sibling or a cousin

799
01:05:20.559 --> 01:05:23.920
in my case, but I mean
we grew up so close, it's the

800
01:05:23.920 --> 01:05:30.480
same thing to me. I don't
think you maybe realized that you're being observed

801
01:05:31.159 --> 01:05:39.760
right, and just the way that
I've seen you carry yourself in relationships,

802
01:05:39.880 --> 01:05:45.280
and I mean that for friendships and
romantic relationships, but carry yourself as a

803
01:05:45.320 --> 01:05:50.960
woman, and I think it's so
important that you know that you've had such

804
01:05:51.079 --> 01:05:55.760
an impact on me. I'm sure
your sister too, and you know other

805
01:05:55.840 --> 01:06:00.800
cousins, but I can only speak
for myself in just observing that you always

806
01:06:00.000 --> 01:06:08.280
carry yourself with integrity, and you're
always respectful and you're always making sure everybody's

807
01:06:08.360 --> 01:06:12.840
okay and everybody's doing okay. And
I used to go and spend summers with

808
01:06:12.920 --> 01:06:16.840
you and your sister in college,
and I was only like twelve or thirteen,

809
01:06:17.480 --> 01:06:21.840
and I remember any time that we
would be on Florida State campus and

810
01:06:21.880 --> 01:06:25.639
we had to cross the street,
you would grab my hand. You would

811
01:06:25.679 --> 01:06:28.880
hold my hand to walk across the
street right, And in my head,

812
01:06:28.920 --> 01:06:30.840
I'm thinking, like, I'm grown
mind you, I'm twelve or thirteen,

813
01:06:31.280 --> 01:06:36.119
but like you, that's just that
was like your instinct. And yes,

814
01:06:36.159 --> 01:06:40.559
I was twelve or thirteen at the
time, but you did it just last

815
01:06:40.599 --> 01:06:45.719
year and I'm a big broad back
woman now and like that's still who you

816
01:06:45.800 --> 01:06:51.519
are. So I think it's important
that you know that all of what you've

817
01:06:51.559 --> 01:06:59.320
done is enough. I think that
it's important to see a woman realize or

818
01:07:00.119 --> 01:07:03.679
realize her potential, but also know
how to navigate when things don't go the

819
01:07:03.719 --> 01:07:08.480
way that you plan for them to
go, but still end up keeping your

820
01:07:08.480 --> 01:07:14.199
integrity and you know, still end
up using your intelligence and your talent and

821
01:07:14.280 --> 01:07:18.000
all of that and not letting things
get you down. That maybe people meant

822
01:07:18.079 --> 01:07:21.400
to get you down. You know. I think it's one thing when you

823
01:07:21.480 --> 01:07:25.679
have your parents tell you that.
But I think, as you said,

824
01:07:25.719 --> 01:07:28.800
we all think our parents were born
adults, like they don't know what they're

825
01:07:28.840 --> 01:07:31.880
talking about, or that was back
in Jamaica, or that was back in

826
01:07:32.000 --> 01:07:35.800
the sixties or seventies, like it's
different now. But when you can see

827
01:07:35.800 --> 01:07:41.280
somebody like navigate through that, I
think that's important. So I just want

828
01:07:41.320 --> 01:07:45.599
to say, like, I really
appreciate how you've carried yourself and how you

829
01:07:45.639 --> 01:07:49.119
continue to carry yourself. And I
think that your son has such an amazing

830
01:07:49.679 --> 01:07:54.760
role model and example, because I
think a lot of times people don't realize

831
01:07:54.800 --> 01:08:00.119
that mother and son relationships are very
important in how men treat women. And

832
01:08:00.320 --> 01:08:05.360
I just am blessed to be your
cousin. So yeah, I just wanted

833
01:08:05.400 --> 01:08:10.039
to tell you that, well,
I appreciate that, and that is the

834
01:08:10.239 --> 01:08:15.479
exact way I was trying to articulate
what I want my legacy to be.

835
01:08:15.680 --> 01:08:21.039
And that's what I want. How
my family thinks of me, speaks of

836
01:08:21.079 --> 01:08:27.880
me, considers me when I'm no
longer here. So you have already molded

837
01:08:28.560 --> 01:08:35.319
what I strive every day for to
make everybody proud of me to leave an

838
01:08:35.319 --> 01:08:42.880
impression that is important to my family
and my friends or to people who have

839
01:08:42.960 --> 01:08:47.119
come around me. So those words
are more than any success I could ever

840
01:08:47.199 --> 01:08:49.920
ask for. So thank you,
Ash, and it has been a pleasure

841
01:08:50.520 --> 01:08:55.279
watching you grow into the amazing one. Oh gosh, don't make me cry.

842
01:08:55.319 --> 01:08:59.039
On, I'm trying to do this
thing. You know, A g

843
01:09:00.119 --> 01:09:02.119
keep this thing real. G on
here, Okay, he gets straight.

844
01:09:02.159 --> 01:09:05.119
Cat. You know you may not
get Cat Williams. You gonna get Williams,

845
01:09:05.119 --> 01:09:10.840
but Cat, but I'm gonna keep
this thing. Gee. But I

846
01:09:10.880 --> 01:09:14.840
appreciate you. Thank you so much. You're welcome, Mish, and to

847
01:09:14.920 --> 01:09:19.920
all of our listeners, remember the
climb to personal growth is an ongoing adventure,

848
01:09:20.159 --> 01:09:25.960
so, as Miche said in many
different ways, keep climbing, keep

849
01:09:26.000 --> 01:09:30.920
growing, and keep embracing the beauty
of your own ascent.