Welcome to soft Core History. What is up? Welcome back to Softcore History.
I am your host for the week, Rob Fox. I am joined
as always by Dan Regester and Jake Goldman. And today might be the episode
that finally gets us canceled from Earth. From Earth? Oh, from Earth?
Murdered? Oh murdered. Oh you mean like real life canceled. Yeah,
not Internet canceled. Yeah. Yeah, if you die in the Internet,
do you die in real life? Sometimes? I mean, so we're
getting Charlie Hebbode hebdo. Yeah, is it that one? I don't know
that like a doesn't matter. Yeah. No, your favorite thing, Rob,
what the Mendela effect? Yeah, exactly. You're both right, you're
timeline. It was this one a funny thing. I just like just get
just make fun of the Mandela effect constantly. You just like claim you like,
yeah, dude, we had sex, Like, no, we didn't,
like to some hot girl'll be like, oh you know what, I'll
slay the universes, but we banged. That might actually get you to the
bang in this universe though. Yeah, so we did, and you loved
it in that universe be oh I do a different universe. Yeah, No,
you're never wrong you just time shifted. What if it's not even the
Mandela effect, it's caught something else? Whoa in this universe? It's the
Morgan Freeman effect. Yeah, yeah, it's the uh what's the Mandarin effect?
Actually the man? Yeah, the Mandarin effect. Everyone knows that.
Yeah, everyone shin. Now today we are talking about a cool hot internet
trend. Oh yeah, we might even be laid on it. Actually,
I think time has passed. It's but you know what we it didn't it
broke this week. It did, But you know the internet moves forty eight
hours in Yes, every I've generations have passed since you can hide today a
little bit, get a little buzz on no free ads, no free I
won't say what you're drinking, but Dan's drinking some THHC drink. Like you
said, we might get murdered, so chill out. It's like the end
of the world. Man just got a party. Yeah, just fucking go
with it. So if you don't know the Osama bin Laden uh fucking letter
to America in two thousand and two has been going like viral on TikTok.
The most asinine thing about the debate around it is now like a lot of
left wing people are coming out and mean like it's not a right wing moral
planet going out myrol like it got it's gotten like millions of views. I
wouldn't say it's megaviral at all. So but they're like getting semantic about it
for some reason. Yeah, because there's no way to defend it. I
don't know. It's crazy. They take this like little blurb from eight pages.
If ten million right wingers were quoting mind comf that would not be an
insignificant number. To them, it's fucking crazy. And of course we already
have the Nazis go out and I think Madison, Wisconsin, I know,
but they came out, Oh I saw him. Yea. So definitely Feds,
right, definitely Feds. No, you can't just blame everything you don't
like on FED. Yes you can. It's all FEDS, bro, Yeah,
okay, everything's FEDS. We're all we're all FEDS. We're FEDS ourselves.
Actually, yeah, we're a sciop. If everything's a siop, nothing's
a syo. That's what a syop would want you to think. That is.
Yeah, you're talking like you're talking like a syop. Bro. But
so this letter went viral because it's it's basically like this is like the gen
z Uhumber situation. Basically, I was about to say, like, if
you like Ben Lauden's letter, wait till you hear about this manifesto. No,
dude, it's like those kids wouldn't like Ted's letter because they would find
the thing that offended him in. No, dude, it's all environmental friendly.
It is very environmental friendly. But it and honestly it really only ships
down? Does it? Shot on? Like lefty lefties or just Neil libs
it everyone like South Park of manifest he makes good points. Yeah, up
until like that one part he just never sent mail. He'd be fine.
Guy just ran out of stamps. Yeah, well we we don't know that.
Again, we've theorized this before. He may have just been sending packages,
but since he's Polish, he was so bad as sending the packages.
That's a that's a classic pole joke waiting to happen. It's the ultimate.
I mean, what of their Polish jokes are there? They're very good at
getting invaded. It's that they're incompetent at doing simple things. And yeah,
but the French kind of undercut them on the invasion stuff. They do they
do. Uh, there are good, good jokes about that too, about
the Polish rolling over pretty fast. Yeah, well he had that pitchforks against
tanks. They got Eiffel towered by the Soviets and the Germans. You're just
done, swave it. What do you do it wave that flag? And
they did charge a tank battalion or something on horseback, so you know,
should happened. I think they won that fight though, actually, no way,
I think they did. I mean the Zulus were fighting with weapons like
penheld weapons against guns, and they held their own. I take the Zulus
over the polls. Yeah, the Zulus were and that was late eighteen hundreds.
Yeah, yeah, like eighteen seventies, still holding their own, held
their own, it's Lawanda fucked them up real good. But yeah, So
this letter, honestly, it's basically like so I read it, I have
the whole contents. We're gonna kind of break it down, not line by
line by line, but a lot of lines. I thought it's relevant for
two reasons. One, it is technically outside of our twenty year windows written
in two thousand and two, and two we also never really implemented a twenty
year window. We did we've talked about it, we've what it. It
was kind of like by the seat of our pants. Well, I think
the definition is what makes a car antique. It's like twenty years to get
an antique tag on it. Apparently. I just say that that's what the
sub read to ask historians does twenty years my two thousand and two Pontiac.
I'll say that can't be true as antique. I will say, like that
would mean like a ninety six Honda Civic could be rolling around with an one
four tours. Yeah, classic car. Hold you hold on to it long
enough? What at that? Indiana Jones uh ready lost our quote. He's
like, as much got it's for five dollars on the street, worthless.
I better it in the sun for a thousand years. It's priceless. Yeah,
that's exactly what our grandparents thought about railroad bonds and savings bonds. And
I think I have an un cash savings bond in my dude, it'sfice right.
I catch my bonds. It honestly is probably worth more if I don't
cash it and just hold onto it as anything. I did it in twenty
nineteen. Obviously, when I was down bad, I had about two thousand
dollars worth in saving bonds or whatever, and I got about two thousand dollars.
Yeah it was. You're lucky it went up. It's no, it's
did the same, yeah, which means it kind of went down. Mm
hmm. It's actually worthless. Yeah, we deflation. Yeah if they if
if it was, did they buy it for two thousand dollars in the eighties
or whatever, probably more. It's worth less than it would have. Just
put it in a saving it. Just put it in your fucking bitch ass
savings. Thanks Papa. Yeah. Yeah, did believe in the government something
I don't know. Anyway, this manifest out fought in Korea? How dare
you? And by that I mean he fixed planes and played basketball. Hey
man, someone's got to fix the planes. Reading the manual. That's sorry,
you read a good manual. I know he knew how to fix one
plane. I just want to say, like, if they can make a
manual for anyone to just pop in and be like, all right, if
you're plug and the machanocks a plug and play, yeah, like mechanical experience.
He's just like, I'm going to fix this plane and send somebody up
tomorrow. Yeah, and it worked kind of. Maybe that's crazy. I
don't tell you how how all the planes went at worked out. Yeah,
I sure didn't. He's like, I just got to play more and more
basketball. Yeah. And then he worked in an airport after and almost got
smoked by a plane because he's driving on the runway when he wasn't supposed to.
Dude. Side note, we've had like two brutal deaths at ai A
in like the last three months. I think. Really people getting smoked on
the tarmac. Yeah, it's just dudes, said, are like one guy
the break on the luggage carrier, the break didn't work, got his head
tooken off. Fuck really Yeah, he like the breake didn't work, and
like he hit something and it took his head off. I believe why you
just dive out of it. I don't know. It's an open cart,
I would think, so it's like it's not It's like not bailing out of
a golf cart. Yeah. And then there's another one, though I forget
that. The other one was supposed to be pretty brutal too. They got
hit by a carrier. Every depth in an airport is usually brutal. There's
not a lot of good ones. Yeah, No, one chokes on a
cinnabun. No, it's always just like decapitated by a cinnabon is pure sugar.
It will melt before you choke. Sure, Yeah, it's fine.
It's also the food equivalent of sandax. Yeah. What would be the worst
way to go out in the airport? Worst way? Yeah, sucked into
a G engine probably jet turbine, or a plane lands on your plane.
That that might be the worst Playing on a plane. Yeah, you're you're
gonna die if that happens. Met a guy one time that survived that happening.
He was like one of the few people that did, said he had
a really bad survivor skill. Really, I'd be like, yeah, I'd
be like I'm unbreakable. I'd be flying all the time because, like,
you know, the chances of that happening, well now we're probably higher.
I would just test my strength like Bruce Willis, Yeah, just fly every
flight. Yeah, get on every train. Speaking of planes crashing, Yeah,
so this letter it's interesting a for the historical thing, like I said,
but b or for the twenty year window, right, so it is
technically outside that window, and B though it makes a lot of historical claims.
M So, it's a lot of history, a bit of a his
he tries to give you some history lesson. Can we also talk about how
he was a literal billionaire trust fund kid, Yeah, trust fund, NEPO
baby, NEPO terrorist. Dad owned I believe, the biggest construction company in
Saudi Arabia. Yeah, yeah, he I mean, yeah, he's got
a handout. Didn't earn it, he was. I mean like if you
look at him like he cosplayed as a poor he did. He was just
like that's you know, I feel like the Middle Eastern version of backpacking through
Europe or becoming like living on a commune for a little while is sort of
just going to fight a holy war. Should have hooped, Shoul and the
words of Terry Rogier, he should have hooped. Is he six seven something
like that? He's really, He's really, I don't think. I think.
But also there's pictures of him circle like going around that he's a black
belt and what I would believe sambo kind of like a wrestling I mean,
lanky motherfucker man can get around you. But I have not seen anything that
confirm that. I've only seen the one photo where he's wearing a black belt.
Well, I mean it could be a stolen valor. If that's all
you need, I can be a black belt tomorrow. Yeah yeah, but
yeah, he was born quite rich and you know, trust fund good blah
blah blah. So yeah, the letter makes a lot of historical claims because
he's basically justifying two things. A. The whole letter is basically this A
or three things. I'm sorry. A. He justifies attack the United States.
B he justifies why he gets to kill civilians in particular. Oh,
and see what we need to do to stop being attacked by him and other
Muslims. Oh okay, so that's basically what the letter conditions. Yeah.
Yeah, so there's a lot of fluff. I'm gonna I I really try
to address all the actual points. A lot of times he sort of not
repeats the point, but like elaborates unnecessarily for our purposes. So I skip
some of that. That's a well written letter either. Well, everyone was
giving him credit. He's like, oh wow, he's he's smarter than that
I thought he would be. Really or how not smart do you expel to
terrorist? This is the thing. It's like the two things that really I
think attacked attach people to like shit like this or mind comf or Ted Kaczynski.
Is that a they're immediately surprised that their very low expectations are are leapt
over, you know what I mean that the insane person wasn't just like,
yeah, I think they're expecting movie villain crazy and it's just oh, a
human beings talking, who fucking knew? Yeah right, No, It's like
it's not always just like they were born evil incarnate. They become that over
time and along the way they learn how to guess what read and write.
I also watched some of these tiktoks and people reacting and it's like, is
this the first time you've ever read anything anything? Yeah, and this is
the first time. They didn't pay attention to history class, but they're reading
a solemn and load letter and all of a sudden, this history is very
interesting. And also with Israel and palastig on, every person starts with like
nineteen forty eight, as if that is when this all started. Yeah,
and Israel in Palestine is a humongous part of this, probably the most,
the thing he mentions the most, and it's what he leads off with.
So that's really the point they stick to, is it? Go wow,
look and Laden was pro Palestine this whole time. Get out weird? No
way, Yeah, but not really. I mean it's more just in a
broad situation he is. But oh the other thing too though, that I
think people why they attack, why they latch onto these things. It's basically
it's just like, well, I don't know, they most know something.
They're famous pretty much. I don't think I can't separate it that much,
like like Osama bin Ladens famous. Yeah, oh, because they've heard of
him. Yeah. Oh man, that's the bar. Yes, of course,
that's the bar. They don't know the difference between fame and infamy,
huh, no, difference between anything. I don't know. Can you name
the shoe bomber Richard Reid? There you go. But uh, I bet
a lot of people can't. I don't even know. And he's affected our
lives, I think more than beIN Laden. I disagree on that, but
that's a that's a compounding effect on what Laden. Yeah, no, I
think he was al Qaida perhaps, But also I gotta take my shoes off
every time I go to the airport, which is dumb. Okay, fuck
it, I'm doing it. Now, the TSA is the largest jobs program
in the history of the country. I hate it. What about Clear,
a private institution that takes your fingerprints, Retina. And then they're also not
in every airport. No, they're like trust us, bro, maybe you
pay us, we got you, and then you go. And most of
these airports don't even have CLEAR. No. I mean, why wouldn't you
just get pre checked? TSA is everywhere, like that's the one you should
get. And also why are we trusting a private company to be security?
Oh well, I mean lots of people do that. But at the end
of the day, though, like TSA, the failure rates. Just look
at them. They have forty seven thousand employees. Yeah, they minimum wage.
Shake, what do you want from them? I'm not saying I don't
like those people. You can. It's fine. No, I I get
why it exists to an extent, But I also think it's performing theater.
It's like safety theater. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, it's
a snow I brought more than three ounces of face wash. I guess I'll
have to throw it out. Also, like no one's doing the plane thing
anymore. They're just gonna go buy a gun and do a mass shooting.
Yeah, or rent a truck and slam into a fucking I will say there
was a there was a period though, where we did need to up the
security a little bit because in this country we had a hilarious amount of plane
hijackings. Yeah, for a while. That check it out. You know
who's going to do most of the plane stuff now, pilots? Yeah,
yeah, our own. Yeah, because they're not getting paid enough and they're
working too many hours. They're just gonna go insane, they are. There
was a there's a pilot that bet this guy he could land his plane without
the help gear. This is a while back. I don't even know if
it was in this country, but it's like, yeah, but I could
do it without the auto instruments and like without my instruments on the plane,
Like I can do it blind basically and just land it and yeah, killed
everybody perfect. Yeah. Just remember it's a person flying the plane too.
Yeah. All right, So let's get into this letter because it's wordy.
Uh. First, he continues, I'm quoting a letter directly every time I
read it. All right, again, it starts with some fluff. He
quotes the Koran whatever. Don't need this. Yeah, protect yourself at all
costs, Rob. Yeah. He asked why are we fighting and opposing you?
What are we calling you to and what do we want from you?
As for the first question, we are fighting. Why are we fighting and
opposing you? The answer is very simple, because you attacked us and continue
to attack us. So he's referencing all Muslims there, he's you know,
here, there, everywhere, the collective US. Yeah. A, you
attacked us in Palestine, Palestine which has sunk under military occupation, uh for
more than eighty years. So this is how it starts. There's how a
letter starts. It's literally how it starts. After like I said, about
two paragraphs, they do not read past this. I don't think they do.
I think they read the first sentence and they're like, all right,
good enough by me, will. It's you know, even just reading the
second sentence, maybe you should have thrown up some red flags. But it's
funny that he's like, it's been under military occupation for eighty years. It's
been under military occupation for two thousand fucking years. Yeah, yeah, forever
mind. You didn't mind that thousand year window when it was other Muslims having
the military occupy or pre Islam. You don't even care about that, obviously,
But he didn't care if it's the Ottomans because Judaism's been there for since
like thirteen hundred PC longer longer. Yeah, uh, Islam's about six hundred
mid six hundreds, and it didn't get to Palestine until early early eighth century.
I don't like that. Certainly take over Palestine into the eighth centry.
I think maybe late seventh. Anyway, he says the British handed over Palestine
with your help and and your support to the Jews. Didn't take long to
blame the Jews, didn't take long to bring the Jews up that sentence number
two. Feel like there should be red flags there. But what the fuck
do I know? Does he say the word Jews or Jewish Jews Jews although
Jews is I guess the plural. It's just like Jake, Like Jake,
you've said this before. Jew isn't a problematic word. It just depends.
It's just like Mexicana, like because if someone says, like, oh,
that nice Mexican man, like, yeah, no one's mad at that,
but it's like that Mexican. Yeah, Every's like Okay, hold on,
but whoa. Yeah, it's kind of like that Bill Berr joke, which
one it's where you put the fucking Yeah, it's like this black motherfucker or
fucking black. Yeah, like two different connotations. Yeah. Yeah. So
then he goes on to say, who have occupied it for more than fifty
years? Years overflowing with a press, tyranny, crimes, killing, expulsion,
destruction, and devastation. Uh, which is just funny to me because
he doesn't have a problem when anyone who was non Muslim was oppressed in Palestine
under the Ottomans. You literally had to pay attax. It was an actual
apartheid date you were set. You were not. You were a literal second
class citizen under a caliphate or the Ottomans when the Muslims were if you weren't
Muslim, that's why a lot of people converted. So like they say,
you know, convert. Uh, it was all converted by the sword is
long. But a lot of it was basically people being like, I mean,
I'd like to keep my rights, you know, it would be really
chill if I had all my money, yeah, and my rights and everything.
Yeah, Muhammad wasn't necessarily a Jesus figure where he's just going toime of
town giving fish out. No, not quite No. What's funny too.
By the way, I like, if you're listening this and you're thinking,
yo, okay, well, Automan and part of the Califates like that was
like, you know, a long fucking time ago. Everyone that's like that.
The shit was happening all the way after World War One during the Ottoman
Empire as well. Yeah yeah, but I'm saying, but the Automann Empire
and that they're apartheid state whatever you want to call it, with the taxing
and the Jews and Christians and everyone being second class citizens. That was happening
up to the end of World War One. So at the same time as
Jim Crow in America, there was Jim Crow for Jews and Christians or whatever
in Palestine. So it's like, yeah, yeah, you take that really
specific cutoff date, dude. Uh yeah, I mean fucking sweet. It's
pretty easy to say whatever you want to help your own cause yeah, and
that's all this letter. Yeah's all like this, this frame your argument how
you want so it comes off better. I just we're doing it right now.
Can I tell you how little research I had to do on this to
like like it took it. I did very very little googling because just out
of my own brain, it's out of my own like cursory knowledge of history
trivia. I was just like, uh nope, uh nope, yeah,
no, no, it's it's it's kind of weird too. Well, the
people that are reading it, it's like, do you just take it all
as like does everything you see wait, do you believe everything you see on
the internet? Well, yeah, if it goes counter to the narrative of
America has put out over the last couple of hundred years, like post whatever,
whatever narrative we put out the last couple decades, if it's the counter
narrative to that, then it's got to be got sick. Yeah exactly.
They're just like you're just hearing the op it like it's just someone walks in
and they're like, what about Well, it's crazy because it's like the same
thing as like, oh, you know, like everyone is a pedophile that
you know, that's true, everyone that's powerful probably fox kids. Like that's
the same leap in logic to me. It's almost like left has their own
version of Q. Yeah. No, of course, like it's just you
know, it's the other side. But like this just it's just like Google's
free. You don't want to read it. You don't want to do any
research, and like you do your own research, do your own, well,
do any research. Doing your own is better than not doing any I
guess and just I guess all they're technically watching a video about this, and
it is doing your own Is it research? Always your own? Yes?
Kind of yeah. I mean you pick and choose what you want. It
depends. Some of my episodes, I just have like the computer, do
it for me, give me a cool thing to talk about, you know,
on the Patreon when we do the game show. Sometimes I have a
I write the questions and nonsensical it certainly not myself. I'm a very intelligent
man. I make no mistakes. But I feel like I see this a
lot now where it's like people read something they're like, yeah, because it
made a point, like all papers and things, and you know, I
guess thesis is and you know, statements like this or letters have a point
they're trying to make. Yeah, just because they argue a point doesn't mean
you have to believe it. I think your best rule, the best stop
the rule of I try to read news by and and more news in history
but both really but is uh if it's exciting to me in like a positive
way or it makes me angry, I I try to discard it. And
if it bores me, I assume that's the truth. Oh yeah, for
sure. I getting sleepy while I'm reading it. I'm like, like,
even this episode right now that you're listening to, like, we all agree,
so it has to be the truth. Well, oh, I just
hope I'm boring you, because then I know it's real to tack onto that.
The best thing I ever learned in my mass media classes was if a
headline starts with a question, the answer is no, just like is reel
what all the Palestinians said you? Just if it starts with a question,
the answer is no. That's what I want to title this episode. By
the way, did bin Laden have a point? No? Just like the
Ted Kasinski one. Yeah, yeah, just Ted Kinki. Especially the next
part. This is kind of funny. He starts dunking on on, he's
get he gets a little sassy. I guess you could say here it brings
us both laughter and tears. Is to see that you have not yet tried
or not yet tired of repeating your fabricated lies that the Jews have a historical
right to Palestine as it was promised to them in the Torah. Anyone who
disputes with them on this alleged fact is accused of anti Semitism. Now,
I don't think you're an anti semi If you don't think Jewish people have a
claim to a land, to land in Palestine, I just think you're fucking
dumb. Now, if you say there's a competing claim from the Palestinians,
I agree with that. I think they both have claims. But if you
think the Jews don't have a claim, you're essentially literally not just anti historical,
you're anti science, like they're DNA and archaeology that straight up proves they've
been there for time immemorial. Yeah well, I mean, like that's the
claim thing, right, is the red herring of it all. Yeah,
no one has a claim on it, Like there's there's a million claims.
No one deserves it, you know, give that claim to it, or
has the right to it. Somebody that takes it by force. That's pretty
much it. Yeah. So, I mean that's just the world man,
I'm sorry, it's just how it worked. I do like that the line
of thinking though, that they're just like like a lot of people are like
will acknowledge. They'll be like, yo, well from Lember, but like
they lost it so long ago, like and then they moved there and like
you know, it's kind of like they've been gone a while. I like,
like that's I feel like that's how a lot of people think, Like
they're like, you need to move on, you know, like they're gone,
they've been gone from there. I want to ask those people and just
be like and again, I think that like Palestanians have a claim too.
I'm basically pro tow state solution, but saying but but, and I can
also acknowledge that what they the Israel did in the forties and fifties, it's
like very wrong, yeah, very wrong. Yeah. But it's funny to
me though, that logic where it's well, so long, need to move
on, Like does that mean in fifteen hundred years the Cherokee have to shut
the fuck up? Like sorry, bro, statute of limitations passed. Yeah,
you were here a long time ago. Now it's too late, you
know. I think they should shut the fuck up right now. No,
But it's funny that the statute of limitations is I guess whatever they and it's
not with the name like five hundred years. That's they still have a right,
they still have a cut claim or whatever three hundred years. But God,
you can even get into like the whole haw haamask God elected thing too,
where it's like Hamas just fucking lied through their teeth the entire campaign.
They're like, hey, we're really chill man. They were funded by Israel
against the PLO because they thought it would be easier to have extremist Yeah.
In Gaza, it's like, oh, if we have people bombing us,
it gives us a right to solidify power. Like it's all just bad government.
Let me just put it this way. It pisses me off a lot.
It's never worked in history. This is when it was a historical point.
Right, It's never worked in history. And if you have this in
your mind then it might work in the near future. Go fuck yourself.
Accelerationism never works. What is accelerationism? Just let something get so bad that
people will come crawl into your side. Oh yeah yeah, no, it's
it makes it way worse. Yeah, it is the dumbest fucking shit.
Uh. Anyway, moving on, this is one of the most fallacious widely
circulated fabrications in history. The people of Palestine are pure Arabs and the original
Semites, which, by the way, this is just a Kyrie irving interview
at this point. It is the Muslims who are the inheritors of Moses,
Peace be upon him. Put that in parenthes. He's like Moses, Peace
be upon him, prophet, and the inheritors of the real Torah that has
not been changed. Muslims believe in all of the prophets, including Abraham,
Moses, Jesus, Muhammad, Peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all.
You can also be Jewish and Arab literally. Yeah, well, he's
right that the first people in Palestine were They came from Mesopotamia in ten thousand
BC, and then they came to Palestine, set up shop there and created
Judaism at some point, along with a bunch of other religions. In fact,
Judaism I think started out polytheistic. We'll have to get into that one
of I don't want to say yes on it, but probably yeah, yeah,
yeah, and then but then it like kind of centered on one God,
yeah, they really that one l I think is what they call them,
something like that. It's interesting anyway. Yeah, so yeah, those
people move there from Mespotamian ten when Neolithic time ten thousand BC, around Karahan
tape time, and uh, you know we can't made that culture. Would
life be better if we just worship dicks? Yeah? Yes, you mean
be doing so? Yes, that's great. Yes, what are you talking
into right now? It's a dick that records your voice. Bro. Oh
no, yeah, think about that. Huh yeah, maybe that's just a
me thing. I don't know. All Mike's look like dicks. This would
be a horrible dick to take it, would They're fat? These ones are
fat, like old school Mike's see a little bit. Yeah, those literal
penis, even with the circle around or the like the ring around the it's
like ahead almost anyway, if the followers of Moses have been promised to write
to Palestine and the Torah, and then the Muslims are the most worthy nation
of this, so they're the real Jews. Actually, again it's a Kyrie
irving interview. Let's one trying to like everyone hints the juice, but everyone's
like, we're the real one. Where are the Jews? We are the
ones when the Muslims conquered Palestine and drove out the Romans. Love that he
calls them the Romans. It's the Eastern Roman Empire. As far as this
part goes, I love that. That is the most historically accurate part of
this. The whole thing. Called them the Romans. Don't call them the
Byzantines, you bitch. Where was he educated? Was it Saudi Arabia?
Yeah, at a university in Saudi Arabia. He did go to college Palestine
and Jerusalem. Returned to Islam, the religion of all the prophets. Peace
be upon them. Therefore, the call to a historical right to Palestine cannot
be raised against the Islamic uma. That means community that believes in all prophets
of Allah. Peace and blessings be upon them, and we make no distinction
between them. So basically, after Muslims conquered Palestine for the first time,
stop the count, baby, No, it's all stopping the count. Stop
the count, always stop the count. Stop the fucking gout. Uh.
He then lists a series of like semi founded complaints that the West is fighting
Muslims and different places around the world like Somalia. Never mind that, you
know there was a psychotic Muslim warlord killing other Muslims there with famine. Yeah
no, I mean like but he was, you know, just let him
do his thing. Also, before bin Lauden got involved with Afghanistan, wasn't
he trying to start a war with the emin Probably? I mean this dude's
looking for wars. Dude was just looking for he was just bored. Man,
He had all the money in the world. He's just yeah, trust
fund kid needs to find purpose in his life. Decides hit the resources.
It's like, why not bully war? Yeah, you got connections. You
can just like go to your really conservative uncle and be like, hey,
I'm gon dude, he had you want to get in on that Yeah on
that show? Yeah dog yeah fuck yeah oh yeah no. I mean,
like, why hoop when you can play the greatest game or he is in
the game. It's the game. It's the biggest game war. Like,
the more I learned about War, the more I'm like, it's just a
big fucking game. Like it's a terrible, awful thing, but it is
a game. The earth is flat, it's a risk board. Start in
Australia, Yeah, but why is he mad that we're fighting against Muslims.
Well, he explains, did we not provide enough weapons in Afghanistan against the
Russians. Oh. He goes into that later about how he's like, we'll
throw you out the same way we threw the Soviets out of Afghanistan. Yeah,
we don't know. We we did Soviets of Afghanistan. Buddy, if
we didn't send you fucking rocket, they would still be there. Charlie Wilson's
war great flag. Yeah, because the Soviets, unlike the British so ancient
times, I don't know, hard to conquer, certainly, But when the
British went to Afghanistan, I'm sure they committed some atrocities or whatever, but
definitely went in there with a fairly light hand all things considered. The US
went in there with a very light hand certainly. Historically. The Soviets they
were doing what Russia is doing in Ukraine now, like just slaughtering motherfuckers.
They were putting them down. But you can't take Afghanistan see unconquerable. Wam.
I think if we didn't give weapons to the resistance, the Soviets would
have been fine. It would have waited them out. They were just doing
the only thing you can do in a country like that. I'm just saying
historically, Afghanistan has I agree everything you can hold it. It's just really
fucking hard to hold any give up. You have to, and you have
to, you also don't want it. It's like they were, Yeah,
it's certainly so why is he mad that we're fighting in Spulsum? These governments
prevent our people from establishing the Islamic Sharia using violence and lies to do so.
So he's mad that we're fighting Muslims because it's stopping them from doing the
entire world and making everyone live under musclim lat Yeah, it's like, hey
man, you can't call it that ship. That's my fucking job. No,
I mean, it's it's truly just like exceptionalism. Check it outlaw some
good aspects about it, which ones women getting lippy, what kidding? Okay,
just to have fun here, guys, no fun, Let's have some
jokes. No jokes only Osama letter, Yeah only is a very special episode.
Yeah, but it's just funny. It's just like like who who got
to this part and was just like oh that parts? Yeah, oh that
you know, actually I still I'm still flabbergasted that though, like awth right
isn't more into Sharia. Well, I know, yeah, Muslims and the
alt right should connect the horseshoe awth right, authoritarian right, authoritarian right,
the principled, hyper religious right wing of the conservative sect. Like love that
ship. And also I feel like Republicans should be more pro immigration when it
comes to Hispanics because they're all conservative. Get those Catholics in there, those
Catholics, baby, yeah, which you know, anyone in America a hundred
years ago would have been like, what more of them? Disgusting? Stop
it, Irish Italians. It's enough. So he says, these governments give
us a taste of humiliation and places us in a large prison of fear and
subdual, which I mean it sounds like Saudi Arabia, Like Saudi Arabia does
that, and they are a Muslim government, Like they're doing it right,
right, They're getting more modern. I think we talked about it on the
Patreon, Yeah you did. NBS has to walk this fine line of trying
to get more westernized, but also appears in his very cervative tunes. Yeah
yeah, loonies in his kingdom Yeah, so he goes on trying to fix
his country and make it kind of digestible to do business with his country.
You just gotta make sure the checks keep clearing without getting beheaded. It's international
trade benefits, might like, but you can't get all the good trade benefits
because then you'll die. He's like, all right, we're gonna buy this
golf league, and we're gonna try to do business with some weapon manufacturers over
in America. But to appease my homies, we'll put down a couple of
gays. Yeah, pretty much. I mean like it's again, just like
the CEE CEE. We're still creating. We're not creat We're still doing the
thing the old way, still doing all the stuff you like, Yeah,
we'll let women ride bicycles, but ye kill one hundred people. It's like
an Encore right where it's like a band comes out and plays all the new
ship and you're like, oh fucking hey, and then like they're like they
leave for a minute, and they come back and it's like and we're doing
the things you wanted to hear. Here's the Yeah, gotta play the h
He can't just do b tracks. No. He also said these governments steal
our wealth and sell them to you at a paltry price. So he thinks
that they're not getting enough money for gas. It's probably right. The only
think, how could he possibly? I don't know. It's the only thing
that, like I swear to God, like half of every presidential election is
just looked the graph. I guess that's the big thing right now with with
Gaza is there is a shit on a gas and natural gas underneath that they
found recently. I guess like they didn't know already. Cool, give him
mining equipment, let him make money. Christ Yeah, I mean they're digging
enough tunnels. The fucking hit one of those things. These governments have surrendered
to the Jews. So more jew stuff, Yeah, you know, so
on and so forth, handed them Palestine. Let's get the next part.
The removal of these governments is an obligation upon us, a necessary step to
free our community, to make the Sharia the supreme law, and regain Palestine.
And our fight against these governments is not separate from our fight against you.
So he wants to throw governments are over. He thinks that the even
other Muslim governments are in bed with the Jews. Sodry Arabia guitar blah.
So Ben the knee, yeah, Ben the need of me. He's like,
hey, I'm the guy, We're the guys. Yeah, you can't
do that. I'm supposed to do that. It's classic what point are you
at this point in the letter? And you're like, wow, he's got
a point, Jews, Wow, huh. I always just think Danny Goldstein
was weird. Yeah, like that guy in my sophomore Jim Clath Yeah,
fucking morons. Yeah. He complains more about oil being stolen or not not
getting paid enough for Uh. We do do that though in the Middle East
right now where we just kind of set up shop, and that's why we
keep getting attacked by drones. They keep sending over drone attacks Iran as oh
on our bases. Yeah, suicide, Yeah do that. Yeah, they
hit oil fields a lot of times. But like that's are we are we
getting a better deal than we should be? Doesn't feel like it really know
what people are like we need to stop going places for oil. It's like,
oh, should we should we get our oil here at home? No,
No, We'll keep shutting the pipelines down. Like natural resources are a
very intricate part of socio political movement, and if you don't want them from
there, you got to get them somewhere else. Again, I've said it
for years. We need to take Canada. Yes, that needs to be
our own personal pipeline. Yeah, pastime, well, pastime invade now.
I think half of them will be down. I think a lot of them.
The real hockey fans would be yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you guys want a real air force. Every they don't. Every Calgary Flames
fan, every Edmonton Oilers fan, yeah, oh, anybody that's an NHL
fan. They'd be like, we're cursed. We need to join America so
we can win a cup through the Canadians can't win a cup. Honestly,
there's probably all of Saskatchewan would probably be like, yeah, we'll join America
solely for the Cup. If my Flames win the Cup, or wherever the
fuck make a deal, we'll take some of the CFL teams. I guess
we don't even need all of Canada. Actually, if you just want the
oil and stuff, you want the western part. Does Winnipeg have a team
the Jets? Uh oh yeah, they're down. That's a city of tunnels
as well, because you know winter there is literally like living on the moon.
Yeah, yeah, fuck that. Uh. He then complains about how
we have military bases all over the Middle East and it's to protect the security
of juice. Juice, yeah, juice. So really honest these people.
I swear to God, if you command f Jews in this document, the
computer crashes commanded damn it. By the way, we had we have had
bases in the Middle East. It's basically the end of World War two.
All of them are from agreements we made with the various governments, although he
thinks with Jews, so he doesn't really find those documents very compelling. Yeah,
it's it's your it's your like perfect out. He then complains about sanctions
we have on Iraq or haw on Iraq, on Saddam's Iraq after they invaded
Kuwait and killed a bunch of Kurds, Muslims, Muslims. We did kill
much Kurds too, but they're Muslims also. Yeah, and guests who uh
kind of led the charge on that Saudi Arabia. A lot of Palestinians that
like fled to Kuwait. Oh, they were down. They wanted Saddam to
evade, right, that's why they all got expelled. I don't remember that
people displaced over fucking night from Kuwait. So that's why, like a lot
of these Arab nations aren't willing to take Palestinians because in the past they have
and they've caused a lot of trouble where they displaced other people. Yeah,
weird or they they well, they killed a Jordanian politician I forget who assassinated
him, and then obviously they so they were basically collaborators with Saddam when he
invaded Kuwait. So Kuwait kicked out three hundred thousand Palestinians. That is a
monstrous because overnight. That was an inside job, a literal inside job in
Kuwait. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's just like you know, you
like look at what the French, I mean, the French and like Dutch
and shit did the Nazi collaborators after they were liberated? Oh yeah, yeah,
yes, like it was that type of situation. Yeah, you're lucky
if you're getting your head shape. So he had sanctions on the country,
had sanctions on it because it was killing other mothers. Now, were there
are other geopolitical reasons that were less moral, I'm sure, but uh yeah,
that all happened partly because of that. This is one of my favorite
parts. Uh, under the protections of your weapons, Sharon. He's referring
to aerial Sharon. The former whatever leader of Israel entered the Al Aksa Mosque
to pollute it as a preparation to capture and destroy it. So he's like,
you let a jew into a mosque and he made it dirty. Okay,
Yeah, I mean we're getting to the point, the bigger point,
which is like empire doesn't come without moral bending. Also just comrads, what
do you like? It's just it's you're making me. It's like that Louis
c k bit right, Like you're making me say it. Yeah, make
a me think it Jake or Vermin according to yeah him, Yes, speaking
of Louis c K. He has a great episode of The Louis Show where
he I think he's like tripping or he's high ship and he like sees Osama
bin Laden in the desert and Osama's like, we're closer to the heat and
it's intolerable here, so we're closer to God, and we everyone needs to
know that we're right because we're closer to God. Like that's why we do
this, it's not because you know whatever. It's kind of like a really
quick summarization of this letter. You're right, He's like, no, I
think that just makes you an asshole. Like I think you're just an asshole
who wants his way. Yeah, and he's like, no, no,
we're closer to God. Oh funny, you should mention that. Yeah.
He also wasn't living in caves. He had compounds. Yeah. Yeah,
well he loves for a little bit in ks. But anyway, because his
next part is, these tragedies and calamities are only a few examples of your
oppression and aggression against us, which just sort of reminds me like he's only
mad about our oppression and aggression. So, to paraphrase a quote from Animal
House, he's basically just like, hey, you can't do that to our
people, only we can do that to our people, which fair enough.
Yeah, you can't hate our pledges, Yeah we can. We can do
that to our pledges. That's the point I kind of understand, though.
It's like he, as a Philly sports fan, you're not allowed to talk
shit about us, but we can talk shit all day. Oh. I
mean I think that's any sports fan, like I will just go off on
the gators, but the second someone else starts, it's like, hey,
listen, buddy, you don't even know us enough to do that. Yeah,
and then I suicide bombed them. Yeah, then I poison their trees
that you no, Yeah, I don't care enough about Auburn, all right,
Harvey, Yeah right. He goes on to say it is commanded by
our religion and intellect, which that's got to be lost in translation. They're
like a weird translation and intellect, that the oppressed have a right to return
the aggression. Uh, do not await anything from us but jihad, resistance
and revenge. So he goes on and kind of repeats himself with that,
but like, fair enough, you feel wrong. You feel wrong, not
saying you're right, but you feel wrong and you want to fight back.
But okay, but now you're just doing war. So why are you getting
all huffy and incredulous when you get bombs back at you. No, it's
it's literally just like, oh, only we should be able to do it,
and if it's done to us, like that's awful, But if we
do it back, that's because we're right. I agree. When I'm in
a fist fight. If you throw a punch of me, that's uncalled for.
But you're allowed to just use you as kind of like a sparm partner.
Yeah right, tell me literally turn you into soup. But but you
whoa, hey, what the fuck? Man? I mean? An American
political version of this would be anytime there's a fucking dead Supreme Court justice or
a resigning one. Yeah, so you can't do this. Yeah, but
it's it's literally everyone's going to try and chew in their dude. Oh yeah
yeah, and or or filibuster or whatever. You know what I mean.
Um, we need more seats. So he then goes on, we're at
the next main point. He has points and sub points. Fucking crazy,
hows long and stupid this letter is. You may then dispute that all of
the above does not justify aggression against civilians for crimes they did not commit,
an offenses in which they did not partake. Let me translate that, but
let me explain why killing civilians is actually chill. If I do it,
it's weird. Collective punishment is what what is it again? Oh it's a
war crime? Yeah? Shit weird, yeah weird. Yeah, you shouldn't
do that. And again Israel in the current state, Like shouldn't do collective
punishment to God, so that is a war crime, like that, you
can't do that. That is fucked up. So I don't think anyone's like
very much like, oh, we don't care what is real. There are
people that are like that. But anyway, but this is one of the
parts where these fuckings are like, yeah, man, resistance, resistance at
any cost, which, like I swear every person I see say that,
and I'm not hard asked by any means, but I feel like I'm very
realistic about the fact that I would puke and cry if I was put on
the ground there, you know what I mean in front of the resistance,
as would they And they're like dah. And then like these same people that
are just like the softest people we've ever met, like get their feelings hurt,
blah blah blah. Anyway he goes. This argument contradicts your continuous repetition
that America is the land of freedom and it's leaders in this world. Therefore,
the American people are the ones who choose their government by way of their
own free will, a choice which stems from their agreement to its policies,
which who's the government and Gazzan oh shit, who got elected? And goz
it. Well, do you really want to roll with that logic? Because
I don't. I don't think you should roll with that logic. No,
but do we really want to open up the books too of what they spend
their money on? No, no, we don't. But also again the
if you ever go back and watch the Hamas versus Fatah like campaign videos,
yeah, Hamas is like, no, we're super chill now, like we
are peaceful and we're trying to just make peace. And because Fatah had a
lot of corruption issues. Yeah, so like Hamas saw their shots, they
were kind of the only ones in power. Well yeah, you gotta rebrand
sometimes. Wellta was in power. Hamas was like very very small, but
like but I mean look at al Kata right now. They got roller blades
and now they're fun and flirty. They're having a good time, great on
Twitter, really good time. Yeah. Kayro Taliban? Oh wait oh it
might be the Taliban. Yeah, well, how are we supposed to remember
all the things? Right? Whoever's in charge of Afghanistan super corrupt? So
Hamas was like, oh ship uh, we're super cool now we're chill when
we're not corrupt, and that's how everyone's like, well fuck, we don't
want to vote for fucking corrupt governments, like when it's very open to get
so tired of Fatah. It was Hamas like kind of like their Trump a
little bit. It's just like just bring in an outsider. Not even that.
Oh they were I mean people are aware like Hamas was a resistance movement,
but they were rebranding. They rebranded as the election came up so that
they could go against Tom Winn. And they all live in campaign No,
I mean you can go watch the things. They're like, we are not
gonna do all that violence anymore. They all live in Qatar. That dude
that looks like he's he just came back from church at ash Wednesday. Oh
yeah yeah, yeah yeah. How would not take those dudes out? Because
they're in guitar. We all we actually also have military like a lot of
military bases in guitar or maybe just like one big one. We have a
lot of troops in guitar. But like, yeah, so I thought this
was interesting too though, because look, obviously America has not only killed civilians
and wars, but targeted civilians and wars. Uh, like in World War
two, right, bombing has killed a lot of civilians out great, we
didn't have the technology to hey, to do it any other way. Dresden
came back stronger. It's beautiful city though, but like they actually rebuilt things
twenty years ago, thirty years ago to look older. Yeah, that's what
you should do. You should, we should. Architecture is ass it really
is. You gotta embrace just those like, oh, it's a retail.
Architecture is Renaissance era. Yeah, architecture. There's there's plenty of good architecture
out there that is modern. It's the five on one, Hey, a
bunch of apartments on top of a fucking cabo bobs. That's the problem.
I'd be okay with it if it was Gothic. I think you need to
stop low key defending your wife and agree with us that she is ruining our
culture architecturally one building of a time, and again agree. I want to
see Catholics got it right? What church wise? Just all. I want
you to a modern Catholic church. I just want to fucking rip it down.
I wouldn't mean for the space of religion when you're trying to shout back
to the echoes of antiquity. It should be old looking, yes, yeah,
you should be bridging. You should be scary there, Yeah, you
should be scary to be there. I respect to Catholics and honestly respect to
Muslims. Mosques. I get annoyed when I see a modern looking mosque,
like I want a dome. I want to look sick. A lot and
a lot of moths are like like a plus no pun intended god teer architectures
turquoise don't. But you see a lot in America actually that are like pretty
lame looking. I imagine. I imagine they're not trying to build big giant,
the big one in a round rock. I think that's like pretty big,
I rather obviously different from the other buildings. Yeah, because they don't
want the spell moat. Yeah, weren't they trying to build one on ground
zero? Dude, wasn't that a thing over Santa's bones? I kind of
respect that though, like double down, Yeah, that's sick, that's just
uh, you know. Baker Mayfield planting the flag at the fifty Yeah,
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But look when we bombed civilians of World War two, I like to
A, we didn't have the technology to not do basically carbon bombing, but
B and more importantly, civilians weren't our primary target, right. We were
trying to we were mostly, but we were fighting the military first. We
were trying to break the will of the civilians. But at that point we
were in a total war and basically a war the end of war that we
didn't start, which I guess been long can say that too. But the
point is, though bin Laden or any other terrorists goes out of their way
to avoid the military and hit civilians in World War Two, our primary engagements
were with the military. Secondary targets were civilian. Yeah. I mean,
at the end of the day, like World War two is a pretty hard
one to argue against as far as like who's wrong or right in all of
this. Yeah, I don't want to hear anything that punch a Nazis.
I mean, if you want to, like, if you want to get
into like Vietnam, yes, sure we can talk about asshole bombing campaigns in
Vietnam from the Americans for sure. Again, and you can go into this
as well, But like I think we all kind of agree with this,
Like we're not judging a random Palestinian dude for the action the foreign polls,
the actions of his government, Like yeah, it's not even if you voted
for him. And likewise, we don't think, hey, let's go kill
all those civilians over there because Hamas is doing dickhead shit, Like we don't
agree with that either. Same way, you shouldn't kill a bunch of us.
I will say, though, Berlin must have been like just easy mode.
What do you mean because you're just fighting kids and women? Oh yeah,
especially after like you're in the you're in the war for three years,
you're in Stalingrad and you get finally get to the main hub. You're like,
right, we're finally taking down Germany. The ten year old shoots you
in the neck. Can you imagine getting got, like getting got by Jojo
Rabbit, And like that's the last level, right, That little fat friend
just pops out be like I fucking lost the game on the easiest mode.
What is a what the tutorial mode? Almost? Yeah? I know,
right? Uh? And he just kind of goes on and on about why
it's actually chill for him to kill civilians. I mean there's I just cut
out the rest of it because it was repetitive, but like he's like,
no, here's another reason I get to kill civilians. Here's another reason I
get to kill civilians. Blah blah blah blah. He says, also,
the American Army is part of the American people. It is this very same
people who are shamelessly helping the Jews fight against us. More jewe stuff.
By the way, he really doesn't mention Israel that much. Weird just you
doesn't recognize it not on his map. He wouldn't call it Israel. That
Dan actually makes a good point. Yeah, it's like China, now right,
didn't they take Israel off the map? They did, which is interesting.
And also they cleaned up the streets of San Francisco pretty quick. China
did. No, we did went for for g showing up. Uh.
He also the next part, I'm not even gonna quote it because it's long,
but he basically says, also God told me I could do it,
so it's chill. Right, Yeah, there's I mean, there's no flaws
in that logic. Yeah no, no, it's ten out of ten,
one hundred percent. I mean, look lean into it, lean into that.
At that point I would respect it more if he was just like that
was it. He kind of is though, yeah, yeah, so at
the end of the day, you learned that you respect Osama bin Laden,
So damn you proved their point. Man, damn it. Now we get
to the second part, which is he's like, okay, so you want
us to stop attacking, here's what you have to do. Convert number one.
Convert to Islam. Who all of you, the entire world join or
die? Just convert to Islam and we'll stop killing civilians. What if everyone's
like okay and like everyone just like gets on a zoom call like eight billion
people, all right, rall Islamic. Now everyone collectively goes to prison.
Basically yeah, yeah, everywhere is prison. Uh. He goes on to
say how great and peaceful Islama like in terms of like the Korean and stuff
like that, which fair enough. Uh. Then he drops this fun piece.
He basically he's just gassing up islambay why it's best religion, which is
your religion? That's fine, I'm sure, I'm sure you believe that.
But then he drops this fun piece, and it is the religion of unity
and agreement on the obedience to Allah and total equality between all people regarding their
color. Sex or language? Not yet what was sex? Yeah? Yeah?
Is it? Is it? Srea? Can well get this name?
Mone right, I'm a cold bullshit. It feels feels in accurate. Does
not seem accurate though, as someone who is a scholar on on Islam,
like he pretty sure bin Laden also hated the Blacks. It wouldn't surprise me.
Wasn't a fan. I was in a note or something. Yeah,
yeah, he wrote to me all the time. He just saw a wait
until I bring up the letters he sent to me Osama. If it wasn't
for them, he would be hooping. Oh yeah. Why do you think
he didn't play basket? Dan actually radicalized him? He he didn't have the
it was I think it was all an agility situation obviously, you know.
Yeah, I can't imagine he had great footwork. No he does. He
look like he did him down on the post to he could. He couldn't
put on muscle, no he uh, And he'd have to be a wing
because six sis not big enough to be a big man back then though maybe
No, still not Dude Wilt or like yeah true Bill Russell Kareem. Yeah,
they're given them business, hey man. They put magic at the five
in a game in the finals. Yeah, but Magic was special. He
was he was magic. We'll get We'll get to Magic Johnson in a minute.
Wow. He then this is a point I actually respect the fuck out
of. So props to have been Lauden on this one clip it Uh yeah,
holdly that ended on there would probably do well. Uh yeah, seriously,
He's like, here's another reason Islam's the best. You guys have edited
your books and rewritten your books over and over again. The Quran has remained
the same since it was written. And I was like, you know what,
as a Catholic who likes to tell other Christians that they're bullshit because we're
the ones that Jesus the start. Yeah. Respect. Yeah, King James,
Bible is kind of a little late to the game. Yeah so all
right, Bin Lauden, I can't you use them my own logic against me
here? Fair enough if that's all it takes. I mean, you know,
the Torah is in Hebrew. Now, he says, you guys kept
changing it. Probably I would have say. I read that it was finalized
in around the time when the Book of Kings was written, like six hundred
s BC. Maybe something there I did there if there is like fifty of
us in one room trying to agree on something, getting a plurality was probably
even hard. I mean that's what the council and I see it was,
uh for for CHRISTIANITYOSM wasn't technically thing yet or whatever. Anyway, that was
point number one. Uh convert to Islam because it's the best. Number two.
Stop being so fucking gay. The second thing we call you to is
to stop your oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery that has spread among
you. We call you to be people of manners, principles, honor,
and purity. To jecked the immoral acts of fortification, homosexuality, intoxicants,
gambling and trading with interest. Why gambling, God damn, why'd you get
why'd you have to clip me? Bin long? Yes, So he's like,
quit butt fucking quit playing the ponies, drinking, quit having a fucking
four oh one k having a four to one cake, and you better not
drink, which I can get down with four oh one K. I love
that. It's just like the reason your society is trash is anal sex and
four oh one case four one ks. Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah,
y'all are having too much fun over there, which is just jealous of
her fun. That's it. So in his head, capitalism is a four
to one k. I guess trading with interest he uses. He talks about
usery a lot, Yeah, which should surprise no one with all I was
about to say, yeah, the trading with interest was that's a direction.
It's a bit of a that was for one group. I'm surprised he didn't
just drop say jewelry. But I guess you wanted to be specific. Yeah,
well, I mean like the U S three thing. Listen, I
get it. I get why people don't like interest on ones, but it's
how things work. What do you You can't finance? Shit, No one's
gonna be like, all right, here's five hundred million dollars to build this
building. Get back to me. Hope you do. Yeah, got the
gold bars? The usury being illegal or whatever held back Europe so much for
so fucking long. Listen, Ask Christians how holds down the middle class?
Yeah, it's us. Ask Christians how it went. What do they do?
They're like, hey, juice immediately, come on, yeah, we
need financing right now. Christ And again, that is all misinformation and propaganda
spread by the Swiss. Yes, absolutely, we determined the Swiss put it
all on the Jews so that we'd never think about their banking. That's right.
Turns out the Swiss is there are there uh slurs for Swiss uh fondue
head. I don't know, like Yodel googling slurs for people from Switzerland,
you would clog little Yeah, fifteen derogatory terms for the Swiss. Oh,
let's get it something eut cheese. Hey, this is kind of just from
an edgeloord website. It's not really actually real. Snowback. That's funny.
Snow back. Come on, now, you're just you're you're co opting other
slurs here, call them snow caps. The candy would be funny. List
of ethnic slurs man, awesome. This is from just Wikipedia. List of
ethnic Oh it's a big page. Wow, that's so big. Uh okay,
come on, gummy hauls, gummy hall what is that do they have?
Like a bad gum that's what they call German people. Well, that's
what the Swiss called German people. They don't even have any slurs against Guess
what this is a fucking little neutral nancies over here. Yeah, we're gonna
have to think up some Swiss slurs. It's hard to do. They get
a pass already, you know, I'm saying they get too much of a
pass. Oh. Absolutely, the Nazi gold thing just totally never If you're
taking their money, you're not fucking yeah. Anyway, So bin Laden goes
on to say, it is saddening to tell you. So he's he's like,
I am sorry to inform you that you are the worst civilization witnessed by
the history of mankind. So he's saying that America is the worst country has
ever existed. Now, why do you think Why do you think he thinks
that slavery taking Indians lands gaze? I mean, I'm sure that doesn't help.
But no, it's probably something very obscure. Say, like, I'm
trying to think of what it could be. Farming practices. Uh is it
because crop rotation displeases Allah? Rotational farm? Uh? Yeah, we eat
pigs? I don't know, is it? Yeah? Is it the pork
industry? Is it? Is it? Our whiskey distilling is honestly funnier than
that. You are the nation who, rather than ruling by the Sharia of
Allah in its constitution and laws, chose to invent your own laws as you
will and desire. You separate religion from your policies. Oh, separation of
church and state. No, not that. Well that but more than that,
that's a little zoom in. The more than that is that we wrote
our own constitution. Oh right, we think we're better than God. Yeah,
because we were like, hey, let's all get together. And by
the way, these a bunch of little atheist losers like sharing this on TikTok,
and then this guy's like, fuck you for your own people creating a
set of laws to live by together. Yeah, I know, I know,
super liberal people hate sovereignty and self determination, right, so yeah,
perfect, it's like you you can't write your own laws, right Bromm.
Yeah, it's interesting that it's like people that had no idea about this even
really this religion. Probably they probably knew of it, but didn't know the
ins and outs of it. Yeah, we're like, oh, well,
they didn't come to the conclusion that they had to just do sharia law.
They wrote their own without consulting, right Ron What No, I mean it's
just like then you'd have like idiot like right when people be like, no,
we consulted the Bible. No, we fucking didn't. Yeah, there's
plenty of people in this country that would adopt a Christian charia law, but
a Christian basically Leicus just like just yeah, it'd be bad. Write down
Leviticus and that's fine. And that's what they always complain about, the evangelicals,
like, oh, it's gonna end up like what was that show?
Fucking handmade show sucked so much, it's not good. I hate that show.
All I gotta say is if an you guys are wearing mixed fabrics right
now, I cut your fucking heads off. Actually eight a whole bag of
shrimp and it was a mixed fabric bag. Oh, just put it on
me like a feedbag. And we're like, actually, did have shrimp bacon
wrap? Shrimp bacon wrapped? Hell yeah, bro my teeth today with silk,
it happens fine. I don't know, Silk's not a mixed fabric.
I think silk is in the Bible for something. I'm sure it's in there
somewhere. It's anti Asian propaganda. They never like, Yeah, that's what
they were going for. Yeah, that's that's what they were thinking about.
Now this is where we get to, Oh, it's the best part of
the letter. Is it. Oh, it's fucking is it the grand finale?
This is a til for me today. I didn't know what he's about
to reference existed. Maybe one of you did. I didn't, and it's
hilarious. I'm going to read you the whole section. And then we're getting
into almost a little side quest here on the history episode. I hate me
a side quest the narrative. Yeah, I want the main plot, main
quest. Okay, Well, how seemed to dump another thirty hours into a
video game? I'm an adult? Uh yeah, you're you were like a
bitch. If you to me, if you got like all one hundred and
fifty stars in Mario sixty four, just go beat Bowser. You can do
that after Yeah, do it after, go beat Bowser. Anyway, this
is what he says, Oh I'm sorry. First, he says, you
are the nation that permits usury. So again, juice, Yes, stuff
which has been forbidden by all the religions. Yet you build your economy and
investments on usury. As a result of this in all its different forms,
and guys, is the Jews have taken control of your economy, through which
they have taken control of your media and now control all aspects of your life,
making you their servants and achieving their aims at your expense. Here's the
money shot. He's a four cham bro. Here's the money shot. Precisely
what Benjamin Franklin warned you against. Did he do that? Did he warn
funny? You should ask? No? Okay, However, bin Laden is
referencing something that is real called the Franklin prophecy. What is that? It's
also known to historians as the Franklin forgery. Uh, definitely fake and did
not even surface until nineteen thirty four when people were trying to make Nazism happen
in America, and people put it this thing basically lie in a pro Nazi
paimpull like look, oh, is it like Benjamin Franklin told us about the
Jews? We all love America? I just love is that? Ben Lauden
is such a big Benny Franklin guy. Right? Is it the Is it
like the Protocols of the Elders of Zion? No, this is just like
a little speech that Ben Franklin allegedly gave at the Constitutional Convention. Somebody wrote
it on a napkin. Yeah, this is a there's a very similar thing
that went around around pro Nazism time. Still today KKK uses it. It's
called the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, where it's like this very just
made up thing that like the Jewish like elders do, yeah, and it's
just like oh and they sacrifice babies and you know, yeah, right,
So allegedly and Loden was just ground floor Rothschild's conspiracies. Oh yeah, oh
for sure, you could tell him rothschild Ship all day. So he's referencing
this thing, which is so again everyone who's like, wow, it was
opened my eyes, hutory and blah blah blah. He's referencing a literal,
fake, fucking document invented by fucking Nazi to try to make Nazism, which
you say you hate, happen in America. It really do be your own.
Yeah so, but but it's essentially Benjamin Franklin was at the Constitutional Invention
arguing this is what the alleges to, I guess, write an amendment or
something to just keep Jews out of the United States. And you know that's
why we put him one hundred dollars bill to mock him. It's like,
oh, you don't want this now you're on our highest denomination of money.
And that is why he attacked the Twin Towers. Yeah, to get justice
for Benny. Yeah. So here's an especially funny thing from the letter that
been laden sided. Because I don't know if you read it. I don't
know if you read it based on this part. I don't think the people
that were celebrating this letter read it. There's a lot of reading not done
here. So here's here's here's part of the letter headline culture. Here's part
of the speech attributed to Benjamin Franklin. See if you find anything ironic here.
For more than seventeen hundred years they did. Jews have lamented their sorrowful
fate, namely that they have been driven out of their motherland. But gentlemen,
if the civilized world today should give them back Palestine and their property,
they would immediately find pressing reason for not returning there. So if they were
given their land back, they want to go back, they'd take over two
things in that paragraph. First Off, Franklin is like their motherland is Palestine,
it's their land, right, interesting things? Yeah, Yeah. And
secondly, kind of a cell phone a little bit of a scorn on your
own hoop. Yeah. And then secondly, if we just we America or
whomever just gave them Palestine back, they wouldn't go again. Not tracking really,
but sure genius, genius guy. That's opening the fucking eyes of the
youth. Yeah yeah, great fucking letter to site. And by the way,
I think the sentence itself is so confusing that maybe it just tricked people.
They hurt themselves in their confusion type of situation. Yeah, it's so
confusing. You can use it however you want. Yeah. Yeah, the
letter does get more on brand for bin Laden though. Okay, yes to
all TikTok users are pokemon hurting themselves in their confusion. Yeah, this part
I will say that at tracks with bin Lan, bin Land probably like this
part. Well, now he Franklin, fake Franklin here is explaining why they
wouldn't take Palestine back the Jews because they are vampires. Yeah, and vampires
cannot live on other vampires. They cannot live among themselves. They must live
among Christians and others who do not belong for their race. So vampires can't
feed on vampires. Well yeah, uh, vampires on blood, vampire blood,
but you don't want that. They can't eat other vampire blot. Yeah
you can't. Yeah, I you know, mad vampire. Yeah, guys
like we're not vampires, so it's so silly say that mustache. I don't
know what you're talking about. Let me see your You're a little pointy,
a little point a little pointy. Hmm. I've never seen you. Your
neck looks really good man, he's chilling up today. He can't see his
neck. No, I know it kind of makes me mad. Should button
up the top, but you should reveal your neck more, Dan, just
do it. This is why I keep a light silver paste on me at
all. I've never day drank with Jake. I've never seen him during the
daytime. That's patently false on your part. We have all day drank together.
Probably, I don't think outside. No, I think you still.
Actually, I know when I was very drunk when you came to my house,
I made you watch Beyond Majestic. I know. We went inside until
it was dark out, no, and then we went outside for a little
bit. Now I made you go back inside because my skin hurt. I'm
not really accusing you of being a vampire. Yeah, good, I mean
thinks he does protest. Yeah, I mean you're kind of like defending yourself
to the point where I might think you are a vampire. Whatever man m
that controls the media. Garlic beats this, Yeah, I super garlic.
This actually troubles me because I thought you were just affectionately kissing my son's neck
last night, but apparently you had ulterior motives. I mean, he's like
veal. It's like the veal of humans, but he's worse being a pedophile
or being a vampire pedophile, I'd imagine pedophile. Still, yeah, I
would own trying to eat the child. Yeah, I was just trying to
fuck him, just trying to train him on his flood. There's also this
gem in the very frank Ben Franklin letter that was invented by Nazis in the
nineteen thirties that I just liked because it's like, so obviously a Nazi wrote
this. It's it's like, it made me giggle. If the Jews are
not excluded, within two hundred years, our children will be working in the
field to feed Jews while they remain in the counting houses gleefully rubbing their hairds.
It's so weird. Every time I see a gold coin baby yum,
It's like my nose just curls a little more. People are fucking stupid.
That's just the written version of a caricature from a political ad. Fuck it,
Like, I don't just sound like Rumpel still skin Yes, yeah uh.
He kind of doubles triples down on the whole WI your country's success.
A lot of it's economically. He also hates he thinks that like are you
know, being gay is a perverted and we think it's personal freedom, but
you know, he thinks it's gross. Is it time to cancel Ben Franklin?
No, no, no, I'm saying this has been a louden though.
Yeah. But still after all that, after all that stuff Ben Franklin
might have said, he totally definitely said totally yeah. Uh. And then
though he's like, here's more proof that you're immoral. President Clinton got a
blowjob in the White House and you didn't even punish him. Yep, it
was a straight blowjob. I know, I thought he would be okay with
that. No, it's adult tree. Ah. You know, it's super
easy to get divorced and have like twelve wives. I fucking know, man,
The problem is that Clinton didn't marry her. That's right, you just
and by the way, beIN Laden definitely cheating on his wives. I guarantee
all marry him. Here's another funny part from bin Laden's letter that seems to
be a bit eyebrow raising to me. See, if you guys spot any
any weird assertions here. You are a nation that exploits women like consumer products
or advertising tools, calling upon customers to purchase them. You use women to
serve passengers, visitors, and strangers to increase your profit margins. You then
rant that you support the liberation of women. Hmmm, what world are we
worse to women than his? What is it because we sell them things?
He sells them, they sell them? Yeah, no, I mean motherfuckers.
Is he saying we hore our women out? Weird? He's got really
specific on how he knew that in a weird way. It's like, oh,
you do this whenever whenever people visit like Disney, see we have like
waitresses and oh Steward and stuff like that. If he was around now and
it'saw the only fan page he went out at the right time. Yeah,
I'm glad also because then we'd catch him. We fucking compound was full of
pornos. Yeah, we would totally see his only fans account and be like,
oh shit, he's falling everybody. Thousand people. Yeah, he there
was so much you imntion, like live camming, and you just get a
little like a little dm from like a little coin pops up and it's like
heart Osama, you know, always like thanks ubblebl like thanks for the thanks
eubble. I'll put I'll stick my foot in my He's really into like the
NPC girls that make noises. I don't know that. Oh ice cream so
good? Ice cream so good? Have you not seen this? Oh yeah,
people act like Sim's characters. Yeah, it's like basically everything you can
dm at. Oh yeah, this was again kind of it's not really relevant
anymore because it had about forty eight hours hour. My favorite one was the
guy eating the hot dog. There's a guy eating a hot dog. There
was a guy that pretended to be Spider Man. Yeah, we're so good
at debasing ourselves now really as a country, nothing's real anymore. No.
He then goes on to complain that our art is pervy and he hates it.
He wasn't a fan of like action movies. I don't know, but
which art I guess not the porn. Yeah, well that's not art according
to him, Yeah, that's porn is a problem, though he has a
point. I there are arguments for that. Yeah, there are definitely very
sound ones. Oh yeah, yeah, I think it's access. I think
is like like the late part of our generation, in the generation under us
I grew up on porn, are probably wildly addicted. Or I think grew
up on porn. I mean, like I definitely like jerked off to porn
as a kid. But of course, but like I, you know,
there was a family computer. Like I didn't have devices in my room until
I was a junior or I was senior in high school. So like that,
I didn't have like free access to porn at all times. I had
a computer in my room. I have my own computer. I have my
own computer. I had LimeWire. You always get the same clip, no
matter what you try to search for, it's the same one. He had
to wait so many hours, I mean for a video. God damn,
I have no idea for what it was. Two minute video. Yeah,
I those downloads, don't let downloads piece are trash. I think there's a
lot of unethical practices in the production of the content. A lot of the
time. I'm sure that we had that porn star on the main show who
was like, uh, we've also interacted with so many porn stars throughout our
careers that it's desensitizing what to meet a porn Starve I meet a porn star,
I'm like, you know, okay, hi, yeah, I know,
it's just we yeah, like nice to meet you. So if somebody
you did or you know, your wife's like, why do you follow that?
Points that well, I was friends with her, Yeah, we're buddies.
But she was saying that like she would show up to say like everyone
has like a note no list essentially, and she would show up to say
at and be like, no DP and I will never act with like this
guy, I'll never do see with this guy or this guy or this guy,
this guy, and shed like show up and like, hey, we're
doing a quad dpe and like everyone's from her no list. Cool, we
just got a cubbable you know. No, I know, we told you
this was a missionary shoot, but putting eight cocks in you today and it's
all dude, you hate yeah no, And it's like that, I mean,
there's a whole bunch of it, like she was, and she would
just be like, no, what the fuck? No? Yeah, Now
this is if the Ben frank This is my second favorite part after the Ben
Franklin part. I'll read it for batim because it's my second favorite part.
Put your hat back on. I know a big moment's coming when you take
your hat off to scratch your head. And because of all this, you
have been described in history as a nation that spreads diseases that were unknown to
man in the past. Go ahead and boast to the nations of Man that
you brought them aids as a Satanic America invention. We invented it. We
invented it. But you would think he would like that aspect because we got
rid a lot of gays kills. Well, it's killed a lot of African
Muslims too, and I think it's killing more African Muslims that it's killing gays
starting Africa. Yeah, yes, and it was zoo zoonotic, yeah,
because it came from I think it was a wet market situation. Oh I
thought, yeah, it was from eating chimps. But if he was actually
just trying to warn us about gain of function, dude, whoa, he
was just anti fauci anti wet market bro uh. He then goes on to
complain that we didn't sign the Kyoto agreement, so he's an environmentalist as well.
Weird to get some brownie points somehow. Yeah yeah, I mean he's
all over the place that was the other thing circled. I'm sure, yeah,
yea, this guy's every which way. He's like, hey, you
don't pay us enough for oil. Also he pollute. Yeah, what the
fuck is this letter? Even it's covering your base. Yeah, give us
more money for the oil that I definitely still want to sell you. Also,
fuck you for polluting. Yeah, Like, if you're gonna, you
know, have an ice cream cone full of Pooh, put some Jimmy's on
it. Absolutely, it makes it taste better. And if you only look
at the Jimmies, that's a chocolate ice cream cone. Yes, he says,
your law is the law of the rich and wealthy people who hold sway
in their political parties and fund their campaign elections with their gifts. Okay,
valid, that's for sure. Behind them stand the Jews, ah, who
control your policies, media and economy. He's just a conspiracy theorist. I
mean, this is literally a conspiracy and a bunch of kids are just like
again, like they're like, well, he's fairy MOUs. I've heard of
them. Yeah, I mean like people talking about, Oh my god,
I can't believe my dad got radicalized on Facebook. It's like, just wait,
I tweeted it the other day. It was like, oh wow,
who knew that you're boom er uncle wasn't the only one who could believe something
insane on social media? Yeah, how could we have known? No,
it's because they see it on TikTok, so it's like, oh, it's
not totally Yeah, here's the part. I take the most umbridge with the
next two parts. Uh, this actually pissed me off. The most that
which you are singled out for in the history of mankind is that you have
used your force to destroy mankind more than any other nation in history. Well,
if there are literally billions of Asians who would disagree that we use our
force for evil, like we were the only ones fighting Japan. Yeah,
there are Chinese, Koreans, Filipinos also, millions of that all those Chinese
battles that nobody's ever heard of, where just millions and millions of people lost
their lives. Oh, in World War two. No, well, in
World War two, in particularly Corral history. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
but I'm just saying to say that, like, oh, we're only over
on the wrong side if we only use our force for bad or whatever like
that. I'm billions of billions of non white people if if you really want
to have it, not be a white person like the Europeans in World War
two. Also, like there are billions of non white people who are like,
thank fucking god someone stopped Japan. Yeah, read up on seven thirty
one, just real quick reading about Japan and China. No, no,
but we kept Japanese and in tournament camps and a couple like twelve hundred of
them. I don't know what else to say to that, Like, war
sucks, it's not fun. Bad things happen. I just a lot of
this too, as he complains that we're just like not batting a thousand,
Oh yeah, yeah for sure, which again, how could we The interman
camps were wrong, They're horrible, they're fucked up. Yeah, but like
I don't at some point, at some point, you're just complaining that we
don't bat a thousand. So is playing volleyball with the children's a child's head,
right, yeah, like I mean, and I can't. I'm not
making that part up like dead Women, Yeah, go go feel free.
Please look at up Siege of Manila, yeah or or any yeah, any
it's an occupation of Japan. We did an episode on c Minilo. Was
that on the Patreon though? I think? Yeah? So subscribe to the
Patriot? That wasn't It wasn't very funny. It's it's a nightmare, it's
horrifying. Was that part of Spooky Month? No, it's just one of
our history again. Is that's why we kept the skeletons on the set.
Hey, this sweek's Patreon is gonna be a blast though? Sweet? Yeah?
Uh So he then goes on, he goes not. He says,
uh, you drop you who dropped a nuclear bomb on Japan even though Japan
was ready to negotiate an end to the war. Literally not fucking true?
True, And suck my dick, dude, who just quoted a fucking fake
Ben Franklin reason we had to drop two bumps a God, I hate that
argument anyway, how many acts of oppression, tyranny and injustice if you carried
out, oh Callers of Freedom getting sassy again? Again. Yes, we
have been hippocritically, Yes, you've done fucked up things. We're not batting
a thousand, But baby, we are better than anyone else, and I
will stand by that. He basically goes on to say, uh, we'll
never acknowledge that we're not pert, that we're at not that whatever. It
knows that we're assholes, we do it all the time. Stop supporting yeah,
I know, right, Stop supporting Israel, Stop supporting the Indians in
Kashmir, Stop supporting the Russians fighting the Chesty. Just slip the Kashmir bit
in. Yeah, Stop supporting the Manila government against Muslims in the South Philippines.
By the way, that's the Philippines we liberated from the Japanese uh that
invaded it and did horrible things to it. But I guess we're just gonna,
uh just skip around that part. I mean, I don't even know
what the fuck you want from up to this point. We also again gets
he gets he gets a little sassinated. I think he just wants us to
mind our business. My but he doesn't want to mind his business. No,
you can't go with that argument, be like, mind your business,
so that I cannot mind mine, Yeah, and then bend the knee and
convert and then follow It's based on a on a foundation of I'm gonna do
these things though. Yeah. Yeah, So we all also advise you to
pack your luggage and get out of our lands. We desire for your goodness,
guidance, and righteousness, so do not force us to send you back
as cargo in coffins, edgy, we want good things for us or like.
So he's basically, hey man, we want good things for you,
specifically for you to convert and surrender. Don't make us kill you if you
don't. Fair fair, that's fair. Yeah, And he kind of ends
with some Quran quotes, but before that he says, uh, what does
he say? Oh, we also call you to deal with us and interact
with us on the basis of mutual interests and benefits, fair enough, rather
than the policies of subdual theft and occupation. Okay, fair enough, you
want a fair deal, okay, okay, okay. Then he continues,
and not to continue your policy of supporting the Jews, because this will result
in more disastrous for you. Yeah. Jews, just Jews, all,
Yeah, we want peace except for them, except for the juice, but
they're not people from the river to the sea. Yeah. Yeah, he
just kind of goes on like that. Uh oh, he makes fun of
us for doing bad in the crusades, even though we want a couple of
them. But yes, we were below five hundred. Yeah, no,
he's right there. Yeah, to take that that way, well, we'll
take that. Yeah. And then this part, but also the crusades that
we had to do because you also crusaded. Yeah, there's a crusade,
and responsible a crusade, everyone's an asshole, so on and so forth.
Uh. And then here's the part that I mentioned earlier. If the Americans
do not respond, then their fate will be that of the Soviets who fled
from Afghanistan to deal with their military defeat. Bro. I mean, we
did it, We did that, We did that. You know that though,
we you know that, you know, you know, you had an
operative you had to talk to Yeah, how did you get the guns?
Where did those stingers come from? Where the missiles come from? Anyway,
they met with you directly, dude, that's the letter. What do you
guys learn today? Uh, I'm a vampire baby bangs out. I think
as long what I've learned today is as long as the thing that is hot
in the streets, the thing that is currently trending. If you just kind
of package somebody's old, kind of terrible manifesto or you know, point letter
or whatever, as long as you repackage it with whatever is currently trending,
and in this country, somebody will agree with it and make it go viral.
I bet you we can make the the Ted Kasinski manifest to go viral.
That's too normy. Yeah, we need to find we need to dig
something up. There's too many people that also tend to agree with Ted.
Maybe maybe weld Maybe let's do the Franklin Streek. No, I don't want
to do it for find something wild, something real. What if we just
grab like a Timothy Dexter letter. Hell yeah, if he has anything on
foreign policy, I want to read it right now. I do. Uh,
who's today's Hitler? I think it's pretty easy. It might be Hitler.
It might be Hitler. It still, it might be Hitler. But
I want to go Bin Laden. Oh that was mine? Damn it?
All right? If I'm Ben Franklin, if he said that, what about
American Nazis? Yeah, Nazis for sure. Yeah, nazisn't been laden or
today's Hitler. Thank you so much for listening. I forgot to mention this
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