Love mom, lovela, love la lovely. I gotta tell you one thing,
buddy, you know what it is. Here's a little inside baseball for
the listeners of the Tom and Jerry podcast, which this is. You're all
very welcome along. Every time that we record these Tom clicks record and a
little voice says recording in progress. And whenever I hear that, you would
think I'd be like, okay, time to chat and check chat and make
the funny. But anytime I hear recording in progress, my brain just goes
into, oh fuck, keep your mouth shut, my bride. Do you
know though? Like much like the sat navs back in the day, I
wish there was a voice because Zoom now, I don't know if you know
this, like, but Zoom has so many fucking things that I will never
use. It now has loads of things that they're over egging the puddings something
serious. But I cannot find a change of voice for that woman, the
robot woman. I'm sure it's their summer, But how cool would it be
to have Hull Cogan tell you recording and progress? Brother? Like honestly,
but like once once, once I'm told I'm being recorded, I guess it's
just a life we live in, tom But like you know, even if
you if if you're hacked off with a service provider or some such and you're
gonna ring them up and I'm gonna bring these people that bollock them out of
it. We delivery didn't come on time or whatever like that. I've had
all I can stands again stands the more I'm gonna go hit him with the
fucking clearest charakey they ever heard in our life. And you ring up is
like this call has been monitored, Liker. Okay, okay, yeah,
but the only the only thing about back in the cage there, McBride,
you don't want this played back in the cord of law they're monitoring, will
be if you swear at us, we have the right to hang up that
exactly exactly and and on proper order. I wish I wish I'd had it
all the times i'd got out down the line. But yeah, these calls
have been monitored for training purposes, not no, when they're certainly not going
to use mind for training purposes. There's not a fucking there's not a classroom
of one hundred people new recruits being brought in being like you know. Okay,
Now we'd like you to listen to the following five minute round from some
fucker Warner and whereas fried Rice is, how are you Tom, I'm fine
good, I'm very good. I'm very good. The rain has stopped.
We had a big birthday party the weekend that went off without any broken noses,
an he busted arms, and so that's good when a bunch of twenty
odd something for three and four year olds, nobody was injured. Tough country
kids, these kids, they're nobody fought. There was a few tears,
but we can't get over that. That was just me. So other than
that, we were fine. We were absolutely fine doing smashing, Delighted to
be back doing the Tom and Jerry Show, very very excited for just for
how and excited people are on a weekly basis From this, I get this
is the one podcast of all the ones I've done where people actually stop me,
you go, would you do? I actually get asked to subjects now
obscure stuff we do do, but I get asked, do you remember in
did you ever hear of that match? That famous match in nineteen thirty eight.
I'm like, oh, oh no, I don't think unless unless Sylvester
Stallone and he was in a camp of some escape to freedom or something.
What is it called escape to victory? Escape to victory? Well done,
McBride, well done. I don't know that that's right, but I think
that's right. If this is where you've landed for the first time at the
Tom and Jerry Show. This is kind of the vibe. This is the
vibe, go back, have a look with on and we're on season seven.
We're on season seven, so there's a lot to go back through and
people do go back through and for the crack, so feel free to go
back. And if you are listening, then the usual platforms you know what
to do, hit subscribe so you get this regular into your ear. Although
not for nothing like it must be said for all the people enjoying season seven,
and it's been lovely to hear from you. We're in the twilight of
season seven. We're on the wrap down. I don't know many episodes we
got left in this su bitch, so enjoy them all on the last This
is it. I mean, we we keep them loose because this is and
that's been happening more and more with Channel four TV shows that I've been getting
in and all of a sudden they decide, yeah, we'll stop it here
on season nine or episode nine, and you're like, what, who doesn't
finish out it? We'll finish, We'll finish on an even number, we
promise. I can't. Oh, we can't finish on a number, Jerry,
I can't. My OCD won't allow it. I can't, I can't.
I gotta tell you that tenth episode is going to be mostly filler,
but just me talking and Jerry just just filing his nails in the background.
Well, Tom, before we go on about anything else, what do we
talk about today this episode? Don't you know exactly? Well? This is
you know what? This is inspired by you and much that I have been
your conduit for this down through the years, because this one was back ten
years for one reason or another. Now, I mean the early stages of
the podcast were recorded in either one of our cars on a regular basis,
So cars have played a large part of our lives but also a large part
in our friendship and relationship because also for one reason or another, Jerry felt
when he had a car question, it was me he would go to first,
and not a professional. But which is the way of a country man.
You go to the fellow who knows a fair bit about cars. You
know, it's it's a it's a thing that we want to do. But
you weren't alone. I used to get obscure what I used to get up.
Comedians would be half ten on a Tuesday night, clearly their car was
after failed them somewhere, and they would get halfway through a Wikipedia of how
to do it. Because I know about the dialogue they're going. So if
I connected the diode to I'm going, what and just tell me what is
wrong with your car right now? And I'll see have I been there?
I'm not a mechanic. For chances are I've been there and I've learned of
either an older man or just got there in the end because I had to.
And that's typically that counts for a lot for cars. Tom. With
this episode, we were gonna build you a car from scratch, but to
be honest with you, we be four hours and we wouldn't get past the
wheels fucking ty rod ends. Uh. And we were gonna say, here's
a little director, but you know, we're not mechanics. This is a
learning podcast, but we're here to have a little bit of crack. So
we're gonna give you what you need to know, guys to keep your car
between the ditches, don't you know? Like basically, if you hear a
rattle in the middle of the night, if you hear a bump, if
something's lighting up and it shouldn't be lighting up, if something's not lightening up
and it should and you're there like, fuck, how much is this gonna
cost me? Uh huh? Listen to this podcast and you might We're gonna
say you're gonna cross every now you might have an idea like okay, because
that is the basis of like being Tom. Back in the day, I
drive a piece of shit car. Something would go wrong, and before I'd
take it to the garage, I'd give Thomas Shank and go, Tom,
it's going for a dunk, roughly speaking, what would that be? And
roughly speaking what would that cost to fix? And Tom would give me what
would usually be a fairly accurate estimate based on a fairly accurate diagnosis. It
sounds like the spanner. A new spanner will set you back three hundred euro
and a hundred euros fitted four hundred euros should see you right now like nine
times out of ten, you wouldn't be that far left or right of it.
This is it, and this we obviously we can't. We can't tell
you how to build a car because chance they're half your driving electric ones and
this would come out and to be obsolete by the time it would get your
ears. So what I decided to do and I thought would be the best
one and it sounds to me. And if it will even sound to you,
Jerry like yesh, we honestly it won't. It isn't to a lot
of people they like. Much like if you went to see a consultant,
you would believe everything they tell you. Not that you shouldn't believe everything you
tell you, but there are some things you could take pride in and do
yourself. So on this episode of Keeping It between the Ditches A seven,
Jerry are going to take you through the basics of car maintenance. Jerry is
a great man for house maintenance. By the way, I need to stress
that he's one of the finest house maintenance maintainers I know out there. This
man services his chairs, He serves as his chairs. That's something we need
to discuss on another podcast. I have got to do. That job is
waiting for me. Yeah I did. I did just before the party,
did service to all the kitchen chairs. They all needed, every one of
the needed a talking everyone. I tell you one thing, Tom, it
didn't take it twenty minutes to do it. That's tall, not at all.
And you wouldn't think my narrow little artst would be rocking that chair that
much. But I tell you here, we are have have have a revolution
now. So like I said, today's episode and like Jerry said, today's
episode is called keeping it between the ditchs so a lot of this far.
So we'll have opinions on it and you'll go, I know that a lot
of people don't know the fuck off if you know what chances are. And
I came in too hot now and Tom, no, I know, I
know. But the same thing is what I do encourage, what we do
encourage as anybody who has gone, Tommy, I missed the thing there and
or I experienced this and maybe that, because this is how is how we
band together. Now, there will be things that you'll hear from people that
go, you gotta give that and go yourself. I'm going to tell you
right here, right now, and to give you a background, Am I
driving thing. I will tell you right here and right now. There are
some things you don't need to learn it, just take it to a professional.
But to give you a background, I'm driving thing We've talked about in
the past. I've been driving since I was seven, ended up being a
professional. Yeah, and there's not a team at the end of that,
by the way, No, No, we highly don't fucking recommend here on
the Tom and Jerry Show podcast. No, but it is what it is.
Are different in the eighties and I can't change it. The Golden era
for for lack of social media. But also I drove professionally for a team
of people who owned a lot of supercars, and I taught people how to
drive supercars, which I not that that is what makes me knowing a lot
about cars. What I tell you what it is, the supercars are notoriously
bad bastards for breaking down, notoriously notoriously temperamental cars. That's that kripinite for
you. Tom, Well, it's much like a racehorse that that's just going
to break down every second Morgan race and anyways, and it so the same
thing applies to these cars. So what I got to learn an awful lot
of was basic maintenance of how to keep the likes of this even in their
their most basic levels on the fucking road. Vehicle maintenance. It isn't cheap,
as you said when I was quoting new prices, and I was fairly
right those times, and it ain't getting any cheaper. So there are certain
things that when you find yourself inside in the mechanics and you go here,
missus, mister, will we do this for you? Before you know it,
there's the add ons. You know you've been to Aldie and you go,
ah, I'll just get the beef jerky. I go on, I'll
throw in that there. Before you know you're one hundred and seventy quid in
and you're like, how does that happen in Aldi? When I come in
from it? Well, the same thing will happen down the car the car
garage because before not always, if you've known them for years, you might
be all right. But at the same time you land in there or whatever
you're driving, before you know it, he's stuck on a new number plate.
He's putting I didn't okay, and you don't want because they're a professional
and it's a very serious thing that you should maintain your car in good working
order. You don't want to be messing, do you know what I mean.
It's like they tell your your child needs new trousers that of course you're
going to get your child new trousers because they're safety trousers or something. It's
the same things. There are certain things. You'll be fine. And you
know what, Taking pride in your own car too is a good thing.
Do you know what I mean? Things being equally brand new things all the
time, Timbo, Here we are here, we are here, we are
so some things can be practically done. And I would advise you give it
a go, Give it a go. Why not? It's like I said,
they'll be pride in it. By the end of it. You'll be
walk back, step back with your dirty hands, rubin. Noile right does
not like it on Saturday morning when you've finished and completed a job. There
really isn't like I remember the joy in a bride's voice when you get get
a thing sorted. And if you do like certain things, I might not
like doing them tom or I like having them sorted. But like even if
even if you and especially like if you had sorted it yourself and nailed it
you're like, yeah, there's a little moment of yeah, I did that.
There is there is so the very first and most basic one. And
you'll often hear people, you know, people say to be they're a great
car. Just keep eyeling it, just keep ailing it, just keep eyeling
it. I cannot stress. A car at the end of the day.
Is just a machine. Yet you can have the nicest bluetooth, you can
have the nicest head wrists, doesn't matter, but bottom line is a machine.
And the only thing since machines, since the industrial age, since fred
Dibner's early childwood Daste and even his grandparents to early try today is the one
thing that keeps metal banging off metal is high lubrication of some form. Lubrication
of some form. That's it. And I honestly it's when you've done it
yourself. There's nothing like it now you could by the way I was,
I was going to say, Tom, like it was one thing. I
was always taught to keep oil in a car. That's fine. And I've
driven to some cars, Tom that leaked oil, don't you. And what
I would do is I would top it up, and I would just keep
topping it up and and and you know, park over cardboard box or what
have you. But what always got me was and this is this is I'm
going to leap in with top tip number one. Oh yeah, for the
for the, for the, for the, for the Duncalley minded out here.
This is McBride's tip. Okay, when you go and buy oil for
your car somewhere anywhere under the bonnet with a thing of tip X, just
write down what the fucking oil is, Otherwise you'd be back there in six
months time or whatever, going back in, go like, what the fuck
oil did I put into this? Because there's all this forty w D yes,
yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah w D forty I should say,
uh and and all this kind of thing. And I always found myself going
back in, excuse me, and I what what oil goes into a cut?
Two sex there? Do you know? I mean, there's the last
time you slip it fucker there. There's a couple of like in all fairs,
there's actually one or two websites that literally that's their only purpose. That's
their only purpose. You put in the year and make your car and that's
it. It'll tell you exactly what I you know what I mean wouldn't you
wouldn't you rather write that on the oil cap? And no, I absolutely
get it. I get it, and I wish they could. But a
lot of time, if you do have the manual, if you do have
the manual in the glove box, it says it on it. It kind
of has to say it on it, so it you know, you can't
go, but I would. Here's the thing, even if you're driving car
that you wouldn't regard as being you know, stay of the art, top
of the line. Look, after all these all these elements I'm talking about
right now, these are all renewable animal elements. You know they're all But
these are the things I would spend money on. I don't care if they
think it's a bit scratched up on the outside from an album an al brier.
I don't really care if it's overly clean. But all these elements I'm
talking about now, I get the top brand of it because so first up,
you can't go wrong, you know, shell the usual suspects when it
comes to to oil. Now, oil, if it's good enough for a
beach, it's good enough for your car. There you go, there you
go. And that's kind of where it came from. I guess a ridge
they reckon. Who knows? Who knows where oil comes from? I don't
know. If we don't want to get into depth of conspiracy, but it's
around it. It's around the time of every car service. Now there'll be
debates do you go, six, do you go? It's up to you
again, it will be in your manual. Ten. There's a lot of
people. You'll listen back in the day. I've been. There's been time
when it hasn't seen the garage in twenty do you know what I mean?
Twenty thousand, Kay, there's it just happens. I would advise don't go
any further than ten, at least with changing the oil. And you're talking
about physically changing the I'm not just topping it up like I just pouring oil
to the thing. Like if you're in the pace of two in the morning,
if you're in I can't advise that, right, I've been there,
but I can't advise it. I would say, if you are finding the
oil, which, by the way, if you have a long journey,
and this might see people ninety percent of people go of course, if you
have a long journey coming up, give it a look dipstick, but it's
got to be cold. The car has to be cold, so catch it.
Don't be checking checking it after a long drive because oil oil expands and
it goes all the way up along the dipstick, which is in the engine
but normally with a red or yellow kind of little handle, and it pulled
it out. Have a little, a little tissue ready to wipe it.
Do cold, make sure it's up to the line. If you're if fire
a wager, I know you're gonna go, Tom. Why do I have
to check the dipstick every couple of thousand miles. Won't an oil light come
on in my car if it needs it? No, not necessarily. You
don't want it to drop below that line. You certainly don't want to drop
into the point where the light is coming on, because if that's coming on,
pull over. Yeah, gone terribly wrong. You've lost almost all your
oil, if not all your oil at that stage. So I would go
for your gun. When the war's on, there you go. So I
would keep just keeping eye on it. If you're not losing any oil's great.
If you don't see anyone on the driveway, great, fantastic. But
still it gets thick, it gets tary, it gets jet black, it
gets smelly. You want to get that stuff out. It's as simple as
it sounds. Albeit it ain't as simple sometimes, but there's here's the basics
of it. For your average car. Every where that oil is held is
in If you imagine, you imagine like the is it the the girdle or
the gusset of a pair of loosely fitting underpants? What would that be?
The crotch? The crotch is the crotch of your car. Also known as
one of my favorite words in the world, which we should actually change to
that is the sump. I think the sump of your underpants is so it's
pretty I do like a good sump. It's the something that's where it hides
during the night when it's cold. That's where it hides, and it gets
drawn up out of that. It's that's that's its tank. It gets drawn
up out of it. And how how big is that? Sometime are we
talking about like a roses tin kind of size or what were were talking That's
what you'll see mostly it'll be a good, good milk tray size is what
you'll be looking at five to anywhere from five to seven liters could be in
and around that there'll always be a little bone a plug at the bottom of
it with normally an invert and nuthead, if you know what I mean.
So a big size alan key. We'll go into that. You'll find one.
You'll keep it forever. Do the Jeremy bride on it, store in
a good place and don't lose it. So you're telling me if I go,
if I lie down and scooch on car, I'm going to see something
that looks like it, like it like the underside of an oil can exactly
well mostly what you will have these you know, in these modern cars,
I say in the last fifteen years, will be a belly plate, be
a plastic cover which again will be able to be taken off with tiny little
alenkies their little plastic normally the plastic nuggets. Drop that baby down and there
it will be looking at you. There. Just leave that off from here
on it just to say I've taken it off again. It's there to protect
your sum. The last thing you want to do is go over a speed
ramp, crack your sump and you lose that oil. Light comes unfairly quickly.
Then I can tell you that right bad day for shamoo that day exactly.
So have your have your have an oil pan ready ready to dispose correctly
what you can do with your local municipal dump. You're gonna drain all your
filthy black oil out of it, simple bung it back up. When it's
all gone, then you have a filter. That's what you need to replace
next, because all the oil would have passed through that to take any of
the iron filings from all that metal banging together, which you don't really want,
but it eventually will happen. But if if you kept good oil in
it, that shouldn't happen. Locate the filter, screw it off now,
it's it sounds easier than I mean, like you really kind of blew through
several steps there, topl You'll locate the filter. What am I looking for?
Look? Okay, so you imagine that cocaine, remember the older ones?
Yeah, a bit fatter than that about time and a third fatter than
that with a rounded little head on it, but about the same height.
And typically they're white. Typically they are white. They look like a thing
that is disposed, but they look like a thing that didn't come with the
engine. Day one you know what I mean, they look like they were
made by another company other than the person a major engine. So where you'll
stick out this will either be located towards the front of the car, either
at the bottom or at the top. You gotta go look simple as that.
Once you find it, once you'll know it's there forever. And you
tend to get an eye for these things. When you've done a few different
types of cars, you kind you'll end up kind of go, well,
I know it isn't going to be stuck that it's gonna win screen, you
know what I mean? You know, you know what I mean. It's
kind of it kind of ends up having to be where it has to be
unless you have some you know, for the want of them, you know,
perhaps a Korean car and they go, now this one we put in
the passenger foot Well, okay, thanks great, now we're gonna do that
job. Like I said, most of these this is the generalized scenario you
will. You may have landed on a bit of a turkey where everything is
came out from me behind the wall. Perhaps hey not for nothing as well.
Time I got thrown a couple of times with some high end German cars,
and the batteries in the fucking boot. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah,
BMW did it for a while. Yeah why, I don't know? Evil?
What can I say? Axles of evil? Even so, it would
also have been another good name for this episode. Let's let's let's let's change
his fucking oil. So with that, you've drained, drained the pan.
Now don't attempted to go, take a phone call and go, I'll start
the car. Everything's done at this stage. I would pull even maybe pull
the pull the leads off the battery, but that will be for that's for
another moment. You want to get it off. Now, there are a
handful of ways of getting it off. I'll give you two. I'll give
you the correct way. I'll give you the country I'll take. I'll take
correct, Please correct sometimes now you will. Some of the fancier cars haven't
even have quit their own brand cover. That will go over it too.
But again, it looks exactly. It looks like what I'm describing, looks
like an upturned cop, you know what I mean, a big mug.
So there's a strap you can buy and he uses inertia. You put it
around it and just lock it on. Twist cleanly off fifteen quid. Keep
it forever forever. It works like it's like a rubber strap, exactly.
It works forever on all of them. Mind it. My own man used
to just drive a screwdriver straight through. It'll be the long screw driver with
a hammer, and he basically made his own version of a handle. He
put a handle through the right well. Because you're not going to be putting
this back on, No, it's it's dead and buried. It will go
to the same union's municipal dump. You're taking the oil time nice. There's
a few steps to getting a new one back on. You do have to
grease the inside of it. Use a little bit of the old oil if
you want it just to grease, just because what it does that forms a
seal. It's not just to make it easier to screw back in. If
it does form a new seal. Back on oil in the top. The
top will be oil, and it always goes in the top of the engine.
It's the biggest. It's a big open you know exactly. You may
have to pop the cover. But it's normally a color like yellow. It
tends to be universal. It could be black. It might be the color
of your engine, but typically the University yellow. It always has to sit
on the top because that's where the oil's got to go through the pistons.
It's got to go through everything. Make sure you have exactly the right amount
of oil because a lot of time, your car like mine right now,
takes weirdly six and a half liters. You can't buy a six and a
half liter, can you gotta buy You gotta buy it five and a two.
But don't put in seven. You can't put in seven. If you're
at six and you get me, it's gotta be How do I know?
Where is that written? How much? Oh again? Manual? You gotta
know your manual. You have to look at your manual. If you can't,
you'll find a PDF of your manual for free on second you type it
in. It's gotta be done. And the oil does change. Is not
universal anywhere. The oil does change as per the size, your car,
type, your car, and all the rest of it. So you gotta
know what it is. That's where a mechanic will go. Jessy would know
what you do. Trust me, you'll get to the bottom of it.
It's normally a round number. But you gotta put that number in. You
put in too much and you over your injury, could over compress itself and
bust it up. That's what all right, So this is the diehard with
a vengeance jugs puzzle here exactly exactly, but making sure you've tightened up everything,
your filtering, your bone. You should be hunky dory. You're back
in. Your car will sound better immediately, it will sound better. You'll
notice it. And that's an oil chain. That's what I've been given focus
ey euro for. Yeah, that's it. That's it. And they ain't
using I can tell you here now they use a shell. It will probably
cost you the oil itself. If you're going really good, you'll probably come
to a build of about fifty quid, do you know what I mean.
That's for a new filter. And you can get a combo pack from a
lot of these a lot of these garages online, Irish garages online or wherever
you're living. You can get combo packages that fit your car. Look,
I tell you, take a Saturday morning, enjoy yourself. It's worth doing.
And that's the vibe throughout this whole thing. You'd be so glad if
you did nothing else to your car. If you did nothing else mechanically to
your car. This will still keep the engine going. WI range plugs,
all those things born out, sure, but they won't be utterly detrimental.
And number one thing is that big lump of metal down the middle with the
old piston movie things. You gotta keep that well oiled and put good oil
in it. Everything else. I'm not saying go to the low cost thing,
but you got it. You gotta look after it to the good stuff
exactly right. So that's as simple as an oil change is. That's an
oil change. Get old stuff out, put cap on that, get filter
off, put new filter on, put in new stuff. That's the basics
of it. That is, that's the basics of it. There's no resetting
anything. You do those steps correctly demystified an oil change. There you go.
There you go. Now next one year. A lot of people are
gonna scoff at this because I swear, of course, but all of these
should be class. This should be transition here. This should be a class
and transition should yeah, it should, And this should be the number one
thing if you're ever thinking of having a child, If you have a child,
this should be one of the things you teach them before the age of
fourteen, so that it is ingrained in their brain changing a flat tire.
The amount of people I swear to God I must have helped and I'm still
only human. It's not like I'm magical, but I must have helped fifty
to sixty people in my time changing a tire. I learned it. Once
I learned how to change a tire, Tom, I was looking. I
was on the lookout for the rest of my life for people with flat tires
that I could go over and go I'll change that for I fucking know how
Oh my god, do you have any Do you have any set tips that
do you want to kick off with? Before I read what I've actually written,
I don't know why, but there's a couple of pointers already. I
have one tip Tom that when I learned it, like ten years ago or
whatever it was, it was presented as being, Yeah, that's good,
that's some good, solid advice. Yeah, that's just steady. More things
should be taught like that. And now it has become like kind of like
shorthand for fucking idiots, you know what I mean. Like, if you
use this method, you're clearly a fucking moron that doesn't know how to tie
their shoes. And that's the phrase, righty tidy, lefty lucy. Oh
my god, yeah, that's right. Actually, I'm going to wake my
child up now and actually teach him that. By the way, I think
I think his grandfather did it already. But this is this is this is
the direction where you how you loosen nuts on a car, Turn them left
to loosen them, turn them right to tighten. Because I like, there
was people people out there are trying to unscrew nuts on a car, only
making shit tighter or making it too tight that they could get it off,
or not being able to get off. And I was sold righty tidy,
lefty lucy. And I was like, that's just so, that's so easy
to remember. You're never gonna forget that. And then I've seen some fucker
on Twitter there and he's like about something real Lobo's like, oh, this
is one of these fucking righty tidy, lefty lucy things. Is it for
lady? It's a trophy? Why are you fucking sneer or not? That's
good advice? Tipship likes it become like a figure of fun and it was
like, you know, like if you're giving advice to like sports teams or
whatever, well yeah, well thanks very much, Captain obvious. Have the
lighty tidy, lefty lucy over here giving that things like why are you fucking
doing this? That's good advice. I'm sorry, Tom, take it away,
take it fucking away from you. I get it, I get it.
And there's Look, there's loads of things to watch out for. This
is a lot. A lot of this is going to be for people who
are new to driving a car, or maybe you've just always left it,
as the Americans will say with the auto shop, who knows right. But
look, you got to keep an eye on your tires because those are the
only thing touching the road, the only bit of the car that touch the
road that comes off. It ain't like rails on a train. This stuff
needs maintenance. You got to keep an eye on. I'm not going to
tell you what brand to buy, but I would go if you were thinking
of one price, I'd go a bit above it. Always, especially if
you live in an interesting climb that is Ireland. You never know what you're
going to get, right, You never know, much like Forrest Gump.
He was probably talking about tires. Metaphorically that time when it came to the
chocolates. But you never know what you're going to get, so look after
if you do find yoursel in this situation. Now I'm going to give just
one scenario. I'm gonna say, if you're driving on the motor when you're
feeling but go Look, I can't go. We'll be here for a thousand
scenarios. You come back from the shop tires down ballecks. Now I will
appreciate there's a lot of people listening. Going so my car doesn't come with
a fucking spare tire anymore. Well, here's the thing, neither did mine.
Guess what I have in the fucking boot spare tire. I went to
a scrapyard and bought a wheel the same as the ones that are on it.
Because if I here's the ship, and think if I'm caught after doing
a gig in Monahan on a fucking Saturday night and it's twelve at night and
I need to get back to South Tipperary, I sure shit do not want
to be pumping up with any sort of foam if the wall has come off
it because I've driven over some road shrapnel or they've got one of those mini
space saver things that I can't go over fifty k in. No, you're
grant. I want. You have a long ways to go, and I'm
gonna tell you to them. Like you know, people might be like,
oh, well you could just ring roadside assistance, yeah, or you know
what you could do otherwise. Listen to Tom for the next five minutes.
None of this it relates to roadside assistance. None of what we're going to
say today. This is getting it put Bady's going to fix that tire quicker
than you're going to fix it yourself, and it's going to take your five
minutes to learn. Here are the steps. Assuming you have a spare tire
in the boat. If you don't go fucking buy one, go to a
scrapyard on Saturday morning. I swear to God that have one that will fidget
fitted. It will cost you twenty quid. You'll be delighted. Put a
tire on it, put it in the boat. It won't take up as
much space to you think right, it genuinely won't. Applying the fact that
the possibility or the hypothesis that you do have a spare tire, you come
back tire down balox front passenger side. Let's just say it's front passenger side.
Right, first thing you're gonna do, it's down. Go get your
wrench. Now, these are a handful of things if you're going to If
you figure I'm going to drive forever, I love driving, I'm gonna mind
my car. Handful of things. Make sure you have a decent spare tire.
Yes, fuck the wrench that it came with. Yeah, you can
use it. But guess what I have. I would have a twenty inch
torque wrench. Yeah, which means it goes out to twenty inches. Wich
means even if I'm feeling as weak as a them, I'll crack open the
nuts on a fucking truck with this thing. Yeah, the swing and I
see Porme misfortunes doing with the butt like they're saving metal. And these little
wrenches that they put in car. Get yourself and it will fit right in
the little elastic bandits at the side of your boot. It'll fit right in
there too, right. Trust me, you'll have it for life. You'll
take and take it onto your next car. Take it onto your next car.
I have the I have like a like a like a t bar,
like a cross. Oh, yeah, a good quality one, I guess,
four different sizes, Yeah, four different sizes. I got one of
them, and I've had it for the past couple of cars. Because what
comes with your car, as Tom says, is like something you'd get in
a cracker at Christmas. Genuinely, genuinely, I have tempted to give it
to the un flip just play it. But what it does look It looks
good when it's passed down when you're selling the car, because it's immaculate,
you shouldn't have actually ever used it. Also, and this is one I
learned from my own man, and much when you're seventeen years of age and
you hear advice from your old man, you're like, oh, what would
he know? I to give you? Okay, some point one of the
first mornings I ever drove his car was to drive to work for him for
him, but he wasn't in the day and he said, look, take
I was like, why do you have I swear my life? He had
in a state car at the time, and he said, I s why
is the spare wheel in the up in the boot part where you could see
when it was opening? He goes, honestly, the other spare wheel because
the other one was hidden in the well. Use two spare wheels. I
went yeah, and looking at me like yeah, because I'm always getting to
work no matter what. And I'm like, man, when I swear my
life, whatever data you believe in or don't believe in, I didn't get
half a mile from the fucking house when I got one puncture, and a
quarter mile more I got another puncture, and I had to sneak at lunchtime
down to the local fucking tire guy and go, can you do those tires
real quick? Yeah? Problem put them back in, tried to dort him
up a bit. Of course, the man rang the old man and said,
your young flow is in here getting two tires. But look, you
can never It's like the good boy scout always have two of everything. But
anyway, so your car is down, tires down, you get that wrench
while it's down and in contact frick heavy friction with with the road, with
the car parking space, whatever, it's right. You take the say you've
got five nuts, crack them, and cracking them just means giving them one
half revolution left you, lucy, And it literally goes pank, pank,
pank, all five. Crack them. Don't open them up fully, just
crack them. Take the take the strength out of them, right, have
an inch return. Yeah, Now, go back to the boot. Take
out the spare wheel. Put it on beside the car, just up against
the edge of it. Underneath. It won't slip underneath it. It won't
unless you've got a big high rig. It won't get underneath it now.
But just have it ready. Get your jack now. Advice on jack's.
Here's also one from my fat that I have carried, and I have onto
my second one now. But and I've never ever used the car jack that
comes with the car. I have a trolley jack again, I tell you,
I tell you why, because the scissors jacks, I would sooner try
putting my head under there for safety. I just I have heart palpitations at
the idea of a scissors jack. The other windy up yolks, I might
fucking I'd be still at the first wheel. I ever fucking got a puncture
in with those fucking things. A trolley jack is. It's like a mini
version of what you see the mechanic with. There are about fifty quid guys
in the mechanic in a in a car shop fifty quid by it. You'll
keep it forever. You'd be so proud taken it out of the fucking puncture
to be like here here's mine, because it just in literally five pumps cars
up with no effort. Again, this is all you can. I have
changed tires in snow white shirts for women, an old woman. I'll never
forget it. My shoes, your shirt to be the stride I went it
will not I didn't even roll up my chair. I'dn't even roll up my
sleeves. And immaculate. These are two things that you'll be so glad it
will say. I must say it that if it comes with a little windy
up Christmas cracker jack that you get with the car, will get will get
the job done. I've it's never let me down. But I've seen your
trolley jacksman, and I'm like, oh, look they are rated for the
car. I'm not denying they do the trick, but I personally like I
like, I like a thing that really does a good job, and I
don't I'm not extraving, gonna spend a lot of money on stuff, but
I swear to God, if you do this in your life, when you
have a car. You'll be so glad like it's up and five and you
lock it down with hydraulics too. It's so you know it's not going anywhere
now it's going. The car's up. At this point, you want to
pumpump, ump, bump, pump until the flat wheel, which will kind
of look like it's fine again, is actually at least an inch which is
twenty five millimeters for the Europeans here off the ground. Now's the time I
want you to slip. You're perfectly fine, fresh spare tire underneath the car,
just under the well, under the door, alongside your jack. Because
here's the thing. A jack is class while let's stays being a jack.
But if a jack ever fucking breaks, it's now dropping a fucking ton and
a half a steal in your direction because you're on the side where it's got
the flat tire. Yeah, but that but if the jack ever breaks,
now you've put at least five inches of wheel under to keep it off the
fucking ground. You haven't broken your fucking wheel hub. It's off the ground.
You've got two levels of safety now, right, I mean, like
this is a lot of health and safety time I got. I know,
I know, but this is you'll do it fast. Once you've done it
once, you'll do it fast, and you thank me. But now,
wheels up, you're off. You're off to the fucking races. You're off
to the races. Crack off those nuts. Do them opposite each other.
So five, if we say we've got a star of five, do number
twelve, Do number six, Do number two, do number eight? You
know what I mean? Like, so do try and do the opposite each
other. So the wheel isn't fucking just all swinging out at one end at
the bottom trying to be opposite each other. Now you might find too,
you go, fuck, these wheels have never been off. It might be
sticking a little. Don't be shy to just turn around and crack your heel
off the bottom at the bottom of the tire. It'll pop cleanly off.
Get a little bit of a yeah again, a little bit now it will.
Your fingers, the end of your fingers are gonna get white, gonna
get black. That's why a road merchant like me always keeps baby wipes in
the back long before ever, fucking child keep them in the boat. Your
hands are gonna be fucking rank and you're gonna filtery up the stair wheel,
roll that fuck it into the boat. No need to put it down the
well, because you're going to be taken it to the tire shop pretty soon.
Now this is the only period where there isn't ultimate safety, but there's
absolutely fine. If you have a trolley jack, pull out your fucking tire,
or you can swap in the other one if you want the dead one,
pull it out, roll it up and line it up, simple as
that. Now, wind in all five nuts again. You put on your
wheel, all five nuts again. Crack it just enough till she's nice and
tight, but don't go fuck can swing it on her because she is technically
up in the air a little bit. Don't go fucking leaping on it now
with your foot right now's the time. She's nice and tight as she needs
to legally be because you've given it. Put a bit of body right behind
it. But don't go fucking hopping off it. All five nuts nice and
tight, righty tighty ighty tiny babies, Rip back to the jack, drop
her down back over to the nuts. Now you can put your fucking foot
on it all five Put your fucking foot into it. Half a revolution,
quarter of a revolution just enough for it goes ah, you know it's gone.
You're in. Jack out the whole lot, into the boot, clean
the hands, close the boot, find the fucking tire. Shot get a
new tire straight away. That's it. I sat that the next thing you
do. But those look to hear the very basics. Flat tire, crack
the nuts, get it up, get out your get out your spare tar,
get it up if you want. I'm just I'd like a bit to
save because I used to drive big head jeeps. Is the thing. That
fucking thing comes down, you're done. So if you're look, if you're
driving the fucking mass dem X five, you're okay, You'll be all right,
You'll be all right. Those things can fall in your hands all day.
Now, there's all sorts of things. You're on the side of the
fucking road and you have one of those triangle things, get it out and
it's on the fucking drivers, get it out. Of course archives part I
can. I'm not going to teach you all of that, but the basics
of it as don't be frightened of getting after it yourself. If you're going
I can't get the wheel that's open, well, if you can't. You
fucking can't call them or whoever you're with. But you should be fucking well
ashamed of yourself. You've listened to this fucking podcast and you can go straight
out and buy yourself a huge fucking wrench. You should, you really should
get out asked for one for Christmas? Exactly exactly so all of the things
on that time. I will say, now that you're there, like you
know, you can't loosen the ranges. There have been a couple of occasions.
Now I got the job done, but there have been a couple of
occasions you find like you're the nuts have been put on by a machine in
a garage, and the Katoka gun they're fucking tramps, and the Yakatuka gun.
Yes, that's a great point. I lost a wheel and I'd say
I last wheel by fuck. I got my money back minus sixteen. It
was during those heavy heavy yeah, yeah, yeah, I was heading to
a gig and cork the place you remember you remember my land drover, Yeah,
still still have it and fucking puncture heavy puncture pulling. Got four to
five nuts off. No, I mean nothing, the old man, and
it wasn't from the parents house. I was passing their house, called up
heat a fucking like a four or five foot pipe. Put it on over
the put on just not coming turns out. They put it on with tucker
gun and absolutely split the nut inside it like it was not coming out.
They fucking welded it in. Well. It's called the Yukatuka gun because it
goes. Go look for look if you want to look up. If you've
never been in a tire shop, go look. Just hang around outside one.
That's what you hear. Listen on a listen, listen listen on a
on a on a on a clear summer morning. In the distance, you
might hear if if you've gotten to the took a took a point, then
that's took a gun maiden. Okay, so that's that's the son of a
bit, all right, And and the the triangle on the road as well,
to make sure you're all hazards on cool in the gang. Right.
It's gotten. It's now at point because there's so much traffic on every fucking
road and Ireland that you really give everybody every opportunity. And I swear it
is a legal thing in France and they should really bring it in here.
I'm so I'm I'm an advocate for the highve's vest I swear to god,
if it is at night and you're inside of the road, banging on,
bang it on, because somebody could be looking out the windows scratching their hole,
fart and get on the highves. It's always good. Here's one for
you, Tom, and I'm sorry if you were about to mention it.
Maybe you wear maybe you wear it. This is Jerry's fucking contribution to the
whole thing. Lock nuts. Mm hmm. It's very possible that your car
on each wheel has one nut which is a special fucking Dungeons and Dragons nut.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah that that that your wrench just won't
fit. It just simply won't fit it. And that's the stop scoreless bastards
from robbing your wheels at night, because they won't have the very special socket
that will fit that one particular nut and unscrew it off. I promise you
you have a socket for that somewhere in your car, in the glove box,
in the fucking little manual fold, or somewhere in the back. Then
then decide where all the papers are on the driver's side in the what do
they call it a little where I used to find them all the time was
fucked in with the wheel in the wheel well right fed in there. Nobody's
ever rubbed this on, Nobody sold the car to you and tuck that with
them, because it was never any fucking good to them. It was only
good for the car that it was with. And if you don't have that,
you are fucked, or you can ring all the road side assistants.
When the roadside assistance shows up, they're going to be where's the lock nott
socker for this? They're not going to have one. They don't have one
for every car in the back of the van. So there are some some
brands alright where you can. But there's a lot of possibility where he could
just slide open the other side and break out an oxy a settling tank like
I had to do with the fucking land Rover that night, and he just
had to cut the fucking wheel clean off the car. Like, So you
don't want that. It's it's looks it's like a little a little fitting that
goes on to the actual spanner that comes with you know, it's Jerry's one
hundredercent right, they are. I don't people aren't robin wheels as much as
they used to. It was back when alloy wheels, you know it was.
It was looks if anybody has any anything to that's how I change the
fucking wheel. And I can do it under two minutes, no matter the
size of the fucking rig doesn't get it off. If you don't know where
your fucking locknut wrench is, go find it. It is in your car
somewhere and know where it is. And like, like, if you drop
that thing down for a service and the lad is set is changing the brakes,
he's gonna want to know where that is because to take the tire off
in the garage you get the brakes changed someday or the freaking calibers tweaked.
I don't talking about it, but they're going the first thing they're going to
say is where's the wrench for the locknote And if you're there, like they're
gonna be like, well, the funk off, we can't do not just
know where it is, just just just keep it with I say this loosely,
but you do have to be an adult to drive technically every once in
a while, So be a fucking adult in this situation it's your car,
get a fucking hold yourself. Don't walk in landing to a place. God,
I just don't know. You should know what moving? Hey, you
know what if you don't know where it is? You know, if you've
listened to this podcast and in six weeks time you're caught on the side of
the road with no locknut, all I can say is, haha, what
do you want us to do? We told you we totally do it.
Now, staying with the team, the shoes on your car and all the
rest of it. I'm going to quickly move rip on because it turns out
I've written a ragged things here that we ain't going to get through them all
tonight. I smell a Part two easily could be, but I would What
I would like is for people to actually comment under this, whether it be
on Instagram or Twitter, comment under this with your thoughts as well. Maybe
we miss something, maybe I did something totally wrong, or tell you what
we do. Yeah, we'll do one more of these and then we'll do
a part two. Fuck it? Yeah, okay, all right, keep
an eye like keep an eye. We talked about tires. You may lost
the tire. You'll have to go to a tire shop. Even if it's
a slow puncture, small puncture, it could only be it might be pissing
out from the valve. It might be pissing out from and little nicky,
you picked up something. You may have shredded the thing as I have done.
It. Many a tire off whether it's a curb or whether it's you
know, but you you need to know about your tires. Do I need
new tires? Now? Most places are looking out for your best safety,
right for the most part, And they'll go, look, I say,
now, you could just turn around and go I'll take my chances. If
you don't know what if you don't know what you're doing, do what they're
saying. Right. But if you do know what you're doing, and you've
met a shyster who's trying to offload some tires that came out of Who's biggest
stant, it's just like, look, you gotta you got you need four
new tires and you I don't think I did. You will notice, right,
And this sounds simplistic and it sounds again. But if you like most
people drive a front wheel drive car, summer back wheel drive I e.
Marks BMW's there's a bunch of them, you know, some of the old
folder forwards a real drives Air audience. Tom. Yeah, they'll know it,
they'll know what, they'll know what. They'll know what. You will
notice the random marks and bms true unless they're do you know what they are?
The auld yokes, but old classics like he thirty six's and stuff.
I guarantee I'm slammer, just slagging you, guys, I love you.
It's mostly going to be your front tires be the first swear. It's up
to you where you want to change them. I'm a man around this time,
coming up to my always my birthday, I'll be changing tires because September
twenty first, for me, that's it, literally is the switch between you
can it's the switch from autumn. Autumn is kicking in and you gotta be
looking at new tires at that stage. And I guarantee you there was a
stage I was nearly burning fucking three sets of tires after that in a year
anyway. But don't let it get to the point where you're like thick,
where you can start to feed your arse wheeling a little bit across the Yeah,
you know what I mean. Don't let it get to that point,
but also at the same point, if you still have fantastically grooved tires and
somebody goes tires near going because they think they're the expert, at least at
least, No, this is the thing. Or if you've never met anybody,
if nobody mentioned your tires, this is how you keep an eye on
them, because you do. Now. Most tires now like tires nowadays.
It's not like you know, you live in Arizona. Most of us live
in places where pisses rain or throats and hot pisces rain roast hot. So
your tires are all weather fucking tires, right. They got the grooves that
and the grooves for it isn't just a grip along the road. They're really
well designed that they throw water through the tire and out so that the stuffs
are touching the surface of the road. Actually doesn't keep any water under it
at all, so gives you full traction. But what you need to keep
an eye out for it's there are lines on the tire. There's still lines
on it. I don't have to worry until it gets to fucking Nascar sleek
right, No, No, you gotta keep an eye now. There used
to be little nipples in the gris. But what you'll find these days are
like little you know, between the frog's fingers, the little webs. Yeah,
well that's what's in your grooves, in the grooves right. Oh yeah,
there's little webs inside there. Yeah yeah yeah. Now you any tire
crowd, any tire crowd in the country, pull in. They'll give you
a free depth. Now I think I think it's too less than two millimeters
is allowed, like one point eight or something. I could be I could
be totally wrong, but fuck, don't go to that. Don't go to
the don't go to it, because you will meet there's so many different road
surfaces. This is the problem. It's not like they're all going to be
silverstone. You're going to meet a country road. You're going to meet one
that was tired and chipped. You're going to meet a noble road, but
maybe has the camber going in the wrong direction. Because we don't give one
fuck. Apparently in some you know, it just happens, it just goes.
Our tarmacd roads were followed off old car pats and a lot of them.
So road surfaces do change, stay above the limit a little bit,
but for all of those, you'll find that webbing inside that little bit of
webbing. Just run your finger down the track, you go, Oh Jesus
Christ, we're getting very close to that. Yeah, that's the time to
at least pop in and just get that debade yourself. You can easy check
out any of the main websites, like what I should have before this?
I didn't. But it is millimeters stuff like, and you're kind of going,
yeah, I don't even like the fact that's too It could be here.
I could totally wrong there. It might be six mil of tread might
be needed. I don't think it is. I think it's no. But
Tom, I think it should be very apparent to you know, even the
latest of laymen, and know what they're looking for you when the tire is
fucked. No, you have no idea to really. Oh, I swear
on my life. The one thing I know when a tires brand new,
Oh listen, you do. You can damn near smell the thing, right.
But I'm telling you now, from all the drivers I've met while doing
the Ferrarian Lamborghini experience, oh my lord, oh my lord, oh my
lord, you're looking over at their own car and they might have a beautiful
car, but you're going, Jesus marriage, what, don't even go just
call the crowd to pick that car up. You cannot leave here with I'm
looking at their car and you go, what are you doing? Man?
Their tires are eating off the thing. They're like, I thought I got
a little wiggly Yeah, yeah, you think your tires look like a fucking
top screen. Literally, so look that. That is what to keep an
eye out for people who and I feel something like I literally I said,
I wrote this down and went what am I doing? And then my brain
just popped it. Oh yeah, I've literally met dozens of people who have
no grasp of looking at now. Keep entire pressure in the car too,
because it can change with temperature and all the rest of it throughout the year.
Say you're driving a big old car, maybe it isn't yours, and
you're insured in it for the weekend, and you're going, let's just pack
it up with all the stuff at the back. You need to know your
tire pressure. You've all seen it at the petro station. All of them
are automated. Now, it's not like you've got to chitch check it and
all that. You don't you can just type it in anywhere from like twenty
six PSI, which is pounds per square inch, and I would a lot
of it. I can't you know it. Bar is another one. It's
another measurement, measurement of air pressure. But where you read it so you
have loaded you know your your cousin's a state car to the fucking axles because
you're buying I don't know, doors for your new house or something, and
no harm. Maybe to put a bit extra bit of puff in it.
And how you'll know that is when you open the driver's door. There's a
fucking sticker that damn cannot come off. I've seen it on fucking cars that
have been burnt. The sticker stays. You know the one I'm where the
like the door jam, so where the door closes, that bit that is
never seen when you open the door. Just look back to where the door
locks, and you'll see a sticker and it'll tell you the tire pressure to
have in your car correctly. And I I don't know what the ratio bar
is to PSI. I'm old school. I still talk. Put all the
machines give you a PSI. Keep an eye on it. If it is
a thing like this feels a little spongeer gone down the whole road to MAM's
place. Yeah, chances are you've got something happening in your tires, and
don't do as I have done in the best where you just go. I'll
just keep an eye on it, and all you're gonna do is just where
the hole off that tire because it's oh, it's down eight psi today.
I'll just put a puffle with No, there's a slow puncture somewhere, and
just get it fixed because it's gonna You got about your tire then, and
if you buy one tire, you got about two tires. Trust me,
you gotta. You know, it's like, you know, if you've got
a slow if you've got a slow puncture, like you know, yeah,
you know what the kubby a little layer seeping out here and there. But
like if it was flat yesterday and you pumped it up and it's flat again
today, that's not a slow punk. That's a fucking puncture. Yes,
yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah yeah, So I'm gonna do
let me ask you, let me ask you. Yes, this is this
is like you know, when we're on like you know, how flat is
my tire or how green is my valley? All right? I'm driving along
and I noticed that sort of sound driving with my window open, and I
know that sound, which is clearly something stuck in my tire, just hitting
the road as it goes around and around, and I pull over and I
look out and there is true to form, a screw or nail or some
such stuck in my tire. Yeah, do I pull that out? No?
You don't leave it the fuck alone. What you should be You should
if you cannot change it, immediately say you're on a fucking a dual carriage
with get off at the next one, but leave it in there. Fuck
that tire. Fuck that tire because you pull it out and it's down,
and now you can't change the fing because you're gonna get your ars blown off.
I'm assuming it's your driver's side. It's much like you see in the
movies. You're like, just pull that fucking arrow out, and they pull
it out in the guy pisces blood and dies. It's pretty much infection straight
away, I think. And you're right, and you keep on asking me
this the stuff because with those cars, those fucking high performance cars, the
thing that they teach their very very fucking raw. So you end up they're
not a bit in the way that same cars of the last say, fifteen
years are where they're taking all the all the the visceral feelings of driving a
car. We've all driven a go cart, do you feel everything? And
these are just big go cards. So you know, when I swear to
God, I knew when tires were they still had fucking not din't long in
those fucking cars. But you still knew they had fifty percent because literally I
could feel it in my arse cheeks. I like, oh, I literally
moved a quarter inch around that bend different than another time, you know,
So you get used to the visceral feelings. So feelings are a big thing.
Be aware of what you're fucking sitting in. You're not sitting in your
sitting room. You're sitting in a fuck a honk of steel hurtling down the
road. That is a fucking you know, it's a thing. If you
don't respect it, it's gonna do something, you know what I mean,
So just keeping it. This is it, and we're just trying to keep
you all safe on the roads. And like, you know, that was
the one thing that I always sort of said to my missus when she was
driving her car. I was like, I I might drive this once in
the very blue moon, Okay, I might drive this once every six months
or some such, and I'll be driving this car. So I'm not gonna
know what's right or wrong or normal or straight or end like that. But
you're gonna be driving this every day. Yeah, so get to know what's
normal. So if I get into a like a baseline, yeah, yeah,
should it be making that noise? And you can tell me, yeah,
it makes that noise every day. It's when it makes this noise that's
when you want to worry. So you gotta know what's right and what was
wrong for your car. And if you notice that, like hey, you
know what, as you said, there yourself, something up with the steering
just there. That's the big perceptible change, And I can't quite put my
finger on what it is, but I just know there's something not quite right.
Well what it is. Typically you'll find if you're getting a fairly quick
puncture on the road, you'll find the steering, even in a car that
has like Uber Uber Save, you know Uber damn near Ai fucking power steering.
Yeah, immediately it'll get what I always describe it's not heavy but fat.
It's like there's a movement where you're like, why the fuck are you
taking so much effort. You'll find it straight away in the steering with if
you're back, if your arse goes and you've got one that's going down quickly,
you I need you to be aware of your butt cheeks. They literally
will feel it out what side it's coming from. You need to will save
your life. Your arse will save your life. You need to know what
back in? What's why is that in a straight line of All of a
sudden, you know it starts back and playing and you're like, okay,
okay, we need we need to have a look see here, chance start
or something like that. And it's the same thing with the knocks and things
like you've wrang me before. You're like, okay, so if I put
my the clutch feels a little light and you're like, well yeah, because
you've been in traffic a lot and your clutch doesn't like you anymore. It's
starting to pack its bags. It's the divorce coming between you and your clutch,
which is one I will leave for all the tailtale signs. We'll talk
about clutches and what we'll do withes and clutches in a moment. More box
of neutrals, going back a couple of seasons there, Yeah, yeah,
I look like one. That's still one of my greatest phrases of yours A
box of neutrals. But that was that was a listener. I remember I
had a bottle come up with a good we call that. I believe it
was John. I believe it was John Ryan, long term listener giant.
I believe it was John. He's Now if there's a guy, he would
be be a in your you know what I mean, in your eight team.
There's a guy right there. Ain't nothing. If I've been driving a
lot of things, that motherfucker, there ain't nothing. There's nothing there.
You go, tom, Okay, So listen. I hope everybody's at least
learned something. I've learned plenty. I gotta tell you. Yeah, yeah,
there, listen, I have a rake more. But like and these
are all I can't believe that these things aren't taught in school. I can't
believe that. I'm sure they are. There's some schools that have you know,
allow, do you know what I mean? These are simplistic things that
you and other comedians have messaged me about that. I genuinely believed, oh,
you would have picked up some other you know, but then obviously they
don't. And if you can get out ahead of this, it's gonna save
your money. Most of what we're talking about here tonight, he's about saving
you money, and it makes your car safer, and who he right,
exactly makes your car safer. I don't know when or should we put out
a two later on in another season, or should we put you know,
you know what I'm gonna tell you time. Yeah, we're gonna put out
of We're gonna put out a part two of this next week's next week.
We're gonna you know, like I say, we got to hit that ten
episodes one fucking way or another. We're gonna get the part two. I'm
not gonna put Yeah, we're not gonna put out like a four hour podcast
on your car. We could don't fucking make us. I swear to God.
If you look at what I've written, actually a lot of it,
I'm like, yeah, maybe you went overboard there, Tom, you don't
need to. This is fucking gold, baby, I'm here changes dark plugs
and everything like yeah, maybe not if you want to know when Part two
of Keeping between the Ditches lands. The handiest thing you could do, my
friends as follow us on the social media, don't you know. You'll find
me on Twitter or indeed Instagram at Jerry McBride, Jerry wood a g you'll
find him at Tom Underscore, omany or some variation of this. Look like
you imagine, I mean, yeah, I mean, you're not gonna go
too far wrong. And all roads, of course lead to at Tom and
Jerry's show on Twitter, Instagram, and who knows, I don't know,
k B. Who fucking knows. Well, there's a hundred different threads.
That's another one. There's a hundred of different these fucking things cropped up all
of a sudden, but you're gonna get us on some of them for the
sole purpose of telling you when our next episodes are coming out, and also
thrown up maybe a couple of images and pictures or some such if you don't
know what a talk wrench looks like or trolley Jack describing it to you,
or stick it up on the socials exactly and like we said, and the
socials gives a follow if you are listening on whatever Spotify, like most of
you are, please hit the subscribe and the bell so that when it does
arrive in you know all about it. There'll be a description underneath. Most
trust me, we're kind of on the nose when it comes to our titles
of show not too cryptic, so you'll kind of get it anyway. With
this one being a course part one of between the Ditches. Hey, if
you want to tell everybody about it, that'd be great. If you can
give it a five stars, even better if you can leave a review on
Apple. I think you can leave review great screen grab it and tag us
in it, so at least we know. But more than anything, we'd
love a bit of and let a bit of set to, to to and
fro. If you've had experience with a bust attire, we'd love to hear
it. If you've gone at the aisle and it broke an knuckle, love
to hear it. We want to hear all this or hey, lad's do
you know what I found was a great thing? What's an absolute here to
get at? Love to hear it. That goes for all the episodes we've
heard so far. We're very open to being critiqued, corrected and added upon
interacted with I think interacted that just fucking throws something there with Jesus, please,
please, please please let us know that we're not just two blocks heading
towards middle age talking to each other. And then we kind of broke my
brain there with heading towards middle age. I've crested it, paul Ah.
Other than that, Okay, drive safe everybody, Okay, me and Tom
will be looking after you next week with more is wonderful stuff here till then,
Peep peepe keep it between the dishes, keep