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Love mom, lovela, love la
lovely. I gotta tell you one thing,

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buddy, you know what it is. Here's a little inside baseball for

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the listeners of the Tom and Jerry
podcast, which this is. You're all

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very welcome along. Every time that
we record these Tom clicks record and a

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little voice says recording in progress.
And whenever I hear that, you would

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think I'd be like, okay,
time to chat and check chat and make

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the funny. But anytime I hear
recording in progress, my brain just goes

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into, oh fuck, keep your
mouth shut, my bride. Do you

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know though? Like much like the
sat navs back in the day, I

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wish there was a voice because Zoom
now, I don't know if you know

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this, like, but Zoom has
so many fucking things that I will never

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use. It now has loads of
things that they're over egging the puddings something

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serious. But I cannot find a
change of voice for that woman, the

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robot woman. I'm sure it's their
summer, But how cool would it be

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to have Hull Cogan tell you recording
and progress? Brother? Like honestly,

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but like once once, once I'm
told I'm being recorded, I guess it's

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just a life we live in,
tom But like you know, even if

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you if if you're hacked off with
a service provider or some such and you're

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gonna ring them up and I'm gonna
bring these people that bollock them out of

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it. We delivery didn't come on
time or whatever like that. I've had

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all I can stands again stands the
more I'm gonna go hit him with the

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fucking clearest charakey they ever heard in
our life. And you ring up is

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like this call has been monitored,
Liker. Okay, okay, yeah,

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but the only the only thing about
back in the cage there, McBride,

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you don't want this played back in
the cord of law they're monitoring, will

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be if you swear at us,
we have the right to hang up that

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exactly exactly and and on proper order. I wish I wish I'd had it

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all the times i'd got out down
the line. But yeah, these calls

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have been monitored for training purposes,
not no, when they're certainly not going

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to use mind for training purposes.
There's not a fucking there's not a classroom

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of one hundred people new recruits being
brought in being like you know. Okay,

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Now we'd like you to listen to
the following five minute round from some

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fucker Warner and whereas fried Rice is, how are you Tom, I'm fine

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good, I'm very good. I'm
very good. The rain has stopped.

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We had a big birthday party the
weekend that went off without any broken noses,

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an he busted arms, and so
that's good when a bunch of twenty

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odd something for three and four year
olds, nobody was injured. Tough country

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kids, these kids, they're nobody
fought. There was a few tears,

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but we can't get over that.
That was just me. So other than

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that, we were fine. We
were absolutely fine doing smashing, Delighted to

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be back doing the Tom and Jerry
Show, very very excited for just for

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how and excited people are on a
weekly basis From this, I get this

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is the one podcast of all the
ones I've done where people actually stop me,

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you go, would you do?
I actually get asked to subjects now

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obscure stuff we do do, but
I get asked, do you remember in

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did you ever hear of that match? That famous match in nineteen thirty eight.

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I'm like, oh, oh no, I don't think unless unless Sylvester

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Stallone and he was in a camp
of some escape to freedom or something.

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What is it called escape to victory? Escape to victory? Well done,

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McBride, well done. I don't
know that that's right, but I think

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that's right. If this is where
you've landed for the first time at the

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Tom and Jerry Show. This is
kind of the vibe. This is the

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vibe, go back, have a
look with on and we're on season seven.

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We're on season seven, so there's
a lot to go back through and

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people do go back through and for
the crack, so feel free to go

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back. And if you are listening, then the usual platforms you know what

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to do, hit subscribe so you
get this regular into your ear. Although

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not for nothing like it must be
said for all the people enjoying season seven,

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and it's been lovely to hear from
you. We're in the twilight of

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season seven. We're on the wrap
down. I don't know many episodes we

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got left in this su bitch,
so enjoy them all on the last This

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is it. I mean, we
we keep them loose because this is and

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that's been happening more and more with
Channel four TV shows that I've been getting

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in and all of a sudden they
decide, yeah, we'll stop it here

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on season nine or episode nine,
and you're like, what, who doesn't

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finish out it? We'll finish,
We'll finish on an even number, we

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promise. I can't. Oh,
we can't finish on a number, Jerry,

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I can't. My OCD won't allow
it. I can't, I can't.

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I gotta tell you that tenth episode
is going to be mostly filler,

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but just me talking and Jerry just
just filing his nails in the background.

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Well, Tom, before we go
on about anything else, what do we

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talk about today this episode? Don't
you know exactly? Well? This is

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you know what? This is inspired
by you and much that I have been

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your conduit for this down through the
years, because this one was back ten

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years for one reason or another.
Now, I mean the early stages of

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the podcast were recorded in either one
of our cars on a regular basis,

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So cars have played a large part
of our lives but also a large part

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in our friendship and relationship because also
for one reason or another, Jerry felt

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when he had a car question,
it was me he would go to first,

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and not a professional. But which
is the way of a country man.

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You go to the fellow who knows
a fair bit about cars. You

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know, it's it's a it's a
thing that we want to do. But

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you weren't alone. I used to
get obscure what I used to get up.

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Comedians would be half ten on a
Tuesday night, clearly their car was

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after failed them somewhere, and they
would get halfway through a Wikipedia of how

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to do it. Because I know
about the dialogue they're going. So if

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I connected the diode to I'm going, what and just tell me what is

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wrong with your car right now?
And I'll see have I been there?

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I'm not a mechanic. For chances
are I've been there and I've learned of

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either an older man or just got
there in the end because I had to.

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And that's typically that counts for a
lot for cars. Tom. With

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this episode, we were gonna build
you a car from scratch, but to

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be honest with you, we be
four hours and we wouldn't get past the

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wheels fucking ty rod ends. Uh. And we were gonna say, here's

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a little director, but you know, we're not mechanics. This is a

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learning podcast, but we're here to
have a little bit of crack. So

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we're gonna give you what you need
to know, guys to keep your car

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between the ditches, don't you know? Like basically, if you hear a

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rattle in the middle of the night, if you hear a bump, if

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something's lighting up and it shouldn't be
lighting up, if something's not lightening up

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and it should and you're there like, fuck, how much is this gonna

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cost me? Uh huh? Listen
to this podcast and you might We're gonna

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say you're gonna cross every now you
might have an idea like okay, because

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that is the basis of like being
Tom. Back in the day, I

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drive a piece of shit car.
Something would go wrong, and before I'd

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take it to the garage, I'd
give Thomas Shank and go, Tom,

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it's going for a dunk, roughly
speaking, what would that be? And

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roughly speaking what would that cost to
fix? And Tom would give me what

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would usually be a fairly accurate estimate
based on a fairly accurate diagnosis. It

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sounds like the spanner. A new
spanner will set you back three hundred euro

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and a hundred euros fitted four hundred
euros should see you right now like nine

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times out of ten, you wouldn't
be that far left or right of it.

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This is it, and this we
obviously we can't. We can't tell

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you how to build a car because
chance they're half your driving electric ones and

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this would come out and to be
obsolete by the time it would get your

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ears. So what I decided to
do and I thought would be the best

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one and it sounds to me.
And if it will even sound to you,

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Jerry like yesh, we honestly it
won't. It isn't to a lot

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of people they like. Much like
if you went to see a consultant,

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you would believe everything they tell you. Not that you shouldn't believe everything you

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tell you, but there are some
things you could take pride in and do

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yourself. So on this episode of
Keeping It between the Ditches A seven,

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Jerry are going to take you through
the basics of car maintenance. Jerry is

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a great man for house maintenance.
By the way, I need to stress

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that he's one of the finest house
maintenance maintainers I know out there. This

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man services his chairs, He serves
as his chairs. That's something we need

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to discuss on another podcast. I
have got to do. That job is

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waiting for me. Yeah I did. I did just before the party,

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did service to all the kitchen chairs. They all needed, every one of

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the needed a talking everyone. I
tell you one thing, Tom, it

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didn't take it twenty minutes to do
it. That's tall, not at all.

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And you wouldn't think my narrow little
artst would be rocking that chair that

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much. But I tell you here, we are have have have a revolution

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now. So like I said,
today's episode and like Jerry said, today's

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episode is called keeping it between the
ditchs so a lot of this far.

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So we'll have opinions on it and
you'll go, I know that a lot

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of people don't know the fuck off
if you know what chances are. And

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I came in too hot now and
Tom, no, I know, I

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know. But the same thing is
what I do encourage, what we do

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encourage as anybody who has gone,
Tommy, I missed the thing there and

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or I experienced this and maybe that, because this is how is how we

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band together. Now, there will
be things that you'll hear from people that

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go, you gotta give that and
go yourself. I'm going to tell you

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right here, right now, and
to give you a background, Am I

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driving thing. I will tell you
right here and right now. There are

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some things you don't need to learn
it, just take it to a professional.

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But to give you a background,
I'm driving thing We've talked about in

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the past. I've been driving since
I was seven, ended up being a

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professional. Yeah, and there's not
a team at the end of that,

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by the way, No, No, we highly don't fucking recommend here on

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the Tom and Jerry Show podcast.
No, but it is what it is.

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Are different in the eighties and I
can't change it. The Golden era

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for for lack of social media.
But also I drove professionally for a team

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of people who owned a lot of
supercars, and I taught people how to

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drive supercars, which I not that
that is what makes me knowing a lot

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about cars. What I tell you
what it is, the supercars are notoriously

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bad bastards for breaking down, notoriously
notoriously temperamental cars. That's that kripinite for

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you. Tom, Well, it's
much like a racehorse that that's just going

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to break down every second Morgan race
and anyways, and it so the same

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thing applies to these cars. So
what I got to learn an awful lot

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of was basic maintenance of how to
keep the likes of this even in their

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their most basic levels on the fucking
road. Vehicle maintenance. It isn't cheap,

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as you said when I was quoting
new prices, and I was fairly

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right those times, and it ain't
getting any cheaper. So there are certain

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things that when you find yourself inside
in the mechanics and you go here,

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missus, mister, will we do
this for you? Before you know it,

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there's the add ons. You know
you've been to Aldie and you go,

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ah, I'll just get the beef
jerky. I go on, I'll

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throw in that there. Before you
know you're one hundred and seventy quid in

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and you're like, how does that
happen in Aldi? When I come in

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from it? Well, the same
thing will happen down the car the car

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garage because before not always, if
you've known them for years, you might

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be all right. But at the
same time you land in there or whatever

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you're driving, before you know it, he's stuck on a new number plate.

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He's putting I didn't okay, and
you don't want because they're a professional

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and it's a very serious thing that
you should maintain your car in good working

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order. You don't want to be
messing, do you know what I mean.

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It's like they tell your your child
needs new trousers that of course you're

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going to get your child new trousers
because they're safety trousers or something. It's

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the same things. There are certain
things. You'll be fine. And you

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know what, Taking pride in your
own car too is a good thing.

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Do you know what I mean?
Things being equally brand new things all the

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time, Timbo, Here we are
here, we are here, we are

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so some things can be practically done. And I would advise you give it

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a go, Give it a go. Why not? It's like I said,

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they'll be pride in it. By
the end of it. You'll be

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walk back, step back with your
dirty hands, rubin. Noile right does

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not like it on Saturday morning when
you've finished and completed a job. There

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really isn't like I remember the joy
in a bride's voice when you get get

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a thing sorted. And if you
do like certain things, I might not

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like doing them tom or I like
having them sorted. But like even if

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even if you and especially like if
you had sorted it yourself and nailed it

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you're like, yeah, there's a
little moment of yeah, I did that.

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There is there is so the very
first and most basic one. And

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you'll often hear people, you know, people say to be they're a great

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car. Just keep eyeling it,
just keep ailing it, just keep eyeling

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it. I cannot stress. A
car at the end of the day.

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Is just a machine. Yet you
can have the nicest bluetooth, you can

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have the nicest head wrists, doesn't
matter, but bottom line is a machine.

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And the only thing since machines,
since the industrial age, since fred

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Dibner's early childwood Daste and even his
grandparents to early try today is the one

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thing that keeps metal banging off metal
is high lubrication of some form. Lubrication

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of some form. That's it.
And I honestly it's when you've done it

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yourself. There's nothing like it now
you could by the way I was,

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I was going to say, Tom, like it was one thing. I

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was always taught to keep oil in
a car. That's fine. And I've

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driven to some cars, Tom that
leaked oil, don't you. And what

208
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:39,120
I would do is I would top
it up, and I would just keep

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00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:43,919
topping it up and and and you
know, park over cardboard box or what

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have you. But what always got
me was and this is this is I'm

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going to leap in with top tip
number one. Oh yeah, for the

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00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:54,080
for the, for the, for
the, for the Duncalley minded out here.

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This is McBride's tip. Okay,
when you go and buy oil for

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00:13:58,919 --> 00:14:05,559
your car somewhere anywhere under the bonnet
with a thing of tip X, just

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00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,639
write down what the fucking oil is, Otherwise you'd be back there in six

216
00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:11,720
months time or whatever, going back
in, go like, what the fuck

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00:14:11,759 --> 00:14:13,799
oil did I put into this?
Because there's all this forty w D yes,

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00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,759
yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah
w D forty I should say,

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uh and and all this kind of
thing. And I always found myself going

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00:14:20,639 --> 00:14:24,919
back in, excuse me, and
I what what oil goes into a cut?

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00:14:24,679 --> 00:14:28,600
Two sex there? Do you know? I mean, there's the last

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00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,960
time you slip it fucker there.
There's a couple of like in all fairs,

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00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,799
there's actually one or two websites that
literally that's their only purpose. That's

224
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,759
their only purpose. You put in
the year and make your car and that's

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it. It'll tell you exactly what
I you know what I mean wouldn't you

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wouldn't you rather write that on the
oil cap? And no, I absolutely

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00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,080
get it. I get it,
and I wish they could. But a

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00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,399
lot of time, if you do
have the manual, if you do have

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the manual in the glove box,
it says it on it. It kind

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00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,919
of has to say it on it, so it you know, you can't

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00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:01,120
go, but I would. Here's
the thing, even if you're driving car

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that you wouldn't regard as being you
know, stay of the art, top

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of the line. Look, after
all these all these elements I'm talking about

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00:15:07,919 --> 00:15:11,480
right now, these are all renewable
animal elements. You know they're all But

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these are the things I would spend
money on. I don't care if they

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00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,519
think it's a bit scratched up on
the outside from an album an al brier.

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00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,159
I don't really care if it's overly
clean. But all these elements I'm

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00:15:22,159 --> 00:15:28,559
talking about now, I get the
top brand of it because so first up,

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00:15:28,639 --> 00:15:31,720
you can't go wrong, you know, shell the usual suspects when it

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00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:35,240
comes to to oil. Now,
oil, if it's good enough for a

241
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,879
beach, it's good enough for your
car. There you go, there you

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00:15:37,919 --> 00:15:39,360
go. And that's kind of where
it came from. I guess a ridge

243
00:15:39,399 --> 00:15:43,360
they reckon. Who knows? Who
knows where oil comes from? I don't

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00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,960
know. If we don't want to
get into depth of conspiracy, but it's

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around it. It's around the time
of every car service. Now there'll be

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00:15:50,759 --> 00:15:52,559
debates do you go, six,
do you go? It's up to you

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00:15:52,879 --> 00:15:56,080
again, it will be in your
manual. Ten. There's a lot of

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00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:00,000
people. You'll listen back in the
day. I've been. There's been time

249
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:03,039
when it hasn't seen the garage in
twenty do you know what I mean?

250
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:06,799
Twenty thousand, Kay, there's it
just happens. I would advise don't go

251
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,440
any further than ten, at least
with changing the oil. And you're talking

252
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:14,240
about physically changing the I'm not just
topping it up like I just pouring oil

253
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,679
to the thing. Like if you're
in the pace of two in the morning,

254
00:16:15,879 --> 00:16:18,639
if you're in I can't advise that, right, I've been there,

255
00:16:18,759 --> 00:16:22,879
but I can't advise it. I
would say, if you are finding the

256
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,440
oil, which, by the way, if you have a long journey,

257
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:29,840
and this might see people ninety percent
of people go of course, if you

258
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,919
have a long journey coming up,
give it a look dipstick, but it's

259
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,679
got to be cold. The car
has to be cold, so catch it.

260
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:42,000
Don't be checking checking it after a
long drive because oil oil expands and

261
00:16:42,039 --> 00:16:45,600
it goes all the way up along
the dipstick, which is in the engine

262
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,519
but normally with a red or yellow
kind of little handle, and it pulled

263
00:16:48,519 --> 00:16:49,799
it out. Have a little,
a little tissue ready to wipe it.

264
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:56,159
Do cold, make sure it's up
to the line. If you're if fire

265
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,200
a wager, I know you're gonna
go, Tom. Why do I have

266
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,480
to check the dipstick every couple of
thousand miles. Won't an oil light come

267
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:04,119
on in my car if it needs
it? No, not necessarily. You

268
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,880
don't want it to drop below that
line. You certainly don't want to drop

269
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,119
into the point where the light is
coming on, because if that's coming on,

270
00:17:10,559 --> 00:17:15,680
pull over. Yeah, gone terribly
wrong. You've lost almost all your

271
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,000
oil, if not all your oil
at that stage. So I would go

272
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,839
for your gun. When the war's
on, there you go. So I

273
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,960
would keep just keeping eye on it. If you're not losing any oil's great.

274
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,319
If you don't see anyone on the
driveway, great, fantastic. But

275
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,720
still it gets thick, it gets
tary, it gets jet black, it

276
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:36,680
gets smelly. You want to get
that stuff out. It's as simple as

277
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:41,039
it sounds. Albeit it ain't as
simple sometimes, but there's here's the basics

278
00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:45,839
of it. For your average car. Every where that oil is held is

279
00:17:45,839 --> 00:17:52,599
in If you imagine, you imagine
like the is it the the girdle or

280
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:56,559
the gusset of a pair of loosely
fitting underpants? What would that be?

281
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:02,559
The crotch? The crotch is the
crotch of your car. Also known as

282
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,960
one of my favorite words in the
world, which we should actually change to

283
00:18:06,079 --> 00:18:10,160
that is the sump. I think
the sump of your underpants is so it's

284
00:18:10,279 --> 00:18:15,359
pretty I do like a good sump. It's the something that's where it hides

285
00:18:15,599 --> 00:18:18,960
during the night when it's cold.
That's where it hides, and it gets

286
00:18:18,039 --> 00:18:22,640
drawn up out of that. It's
that's that's its tank. It gets drawn

287
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,240
up out of it. And how
how big is that? Sometime are we

288
00:18:25,279 --> 00:18:27,079
talking about like a roses tin kind
of size or what were were talking That's

289
00:18:27,079 --> 00:18:30,839
what you'll see mostly it'll be a
good, good milk tray size is what

290
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,680
you'll be looking at five to anywhere
from five to seven liters could be in

291
00:18:36,039 --> 00:18:38,680
and around that there'll always be a
little bone a plug at the bottom of

292
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,680
it with normally an invert and nuthead, if you know what I mean.

293
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,519
So a big size alan key.
We'll go into that. You'll find one.

294
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,920
You'll keep it forever. Do the
Jeremy bride on it, store in

295
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,160
a good place and don't lose it. So you're telling me if I go,

296
00:18:52,279 --> 00:18:56,839
if I lie down and scooch on
car, I'm going to see something

297
00:18:56,839 --> 00:19:00,920
that looks like it, like it
like the underside of an oil can exactly

298
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,279
well mostly what you will have these
you know, in these modern cars,

299
00:19:03,279 --> 00:19:07,680
I say in the last fifteen years, will be a belly plate, be

300
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,440
a plastic cover which again will be
able to be taken off with tiny little

301
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,559
alenkies their little plastic normally the plastic
nuggets. Drop that baby down and there

302
00:19:15,599 --> 00:19:18,880
it will be looking at you.
There. Just leave that off from here

303
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:23,000
on it just to say I've taken
it off again. It's there to protect

304
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,000
your sum. The last thing you
want to do is go over a speed

305
00:19:26,079 --> 00:19:30,039
ramp, crack your sump and you
lose that oil. Light comes unfairly quickly.

306
00:19:30,079 --> 00:19:36,799
Then I can tell you that right
bad day for shamoo that day exactly.

307
00:19:36,839 --> 00:19:41,119
So have your have your have an
oil pan ready ready to dispose correctly

308
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:45,839
what you can do with your local
municipal dump. You're gonna drain all your

309
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:51,119
filthy black oil out of it,
simple bung it back up. When it's

310
00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:53,279
all gone, then you have a
filter. That's what you need to replace

311
00:19:53,319 --> 00:19:56,319
next, because all the oil would
have passed through that to take any of

312
00:19:56,359 --> 00:20:00,440
the iron filings from all that metal
banging together, which you don't really want,

313
00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:03,720
but it eventually will happen. But
if if you kept good oil in

314
00:20:03,759 --> 00:20:08,240
it, that shouldn't happen. Locate
the filter, screw it off now,

315
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,759
it's it sounds easier than I mean, like you really kind of blew through

316
00:20:11,839 --> 00:20:15,000
several steps there, topl You'll locate
the filter. What am I looking for?

317
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:19,400
Look? Okay, so you imagine
that cocaine, remember the older ones?

318
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,079
Yeah, a bit fatter than that
about time and a third fatter than

319
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:26,000
that with a rounded little head on
it, but about the same height.

320
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,640
And typically they're white. Typically they
are white. They look like a thing

321
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,240
that is disposed, but they look
like a thing that didn't come with the

322
00:20:33,279 --> 00:20:36,200
engine. Day one you know what
I mean, they look like they were

323
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,720
made by another company other than the
person a major engine. So where you'll

324
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:44,200
stick out this will either be located
towards the front of the car, either

325
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,160
at the bottom or at the top. You gotta go look simple as that.

326
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,000
Once you find it, once you'll
know it's there forever. And you

327
00:20:51,079 --> 00:20:53,160
tend to get an eye for these
things. When you've done a few different

328
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,599
types of cars, you kind you'll
end up kind of go, well,

329
00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,160
I know it isn't going to be
stuck that it's gonna win screen, you

330
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,279
know what I mean? You know, you know what I mean. It's

331
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:06,839
kind of it kind of ends up
having to be where it has to be

332
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,799
unless you have some you know,
for the want of them, you know,

333
00:21:11,279 --> 00:21:14,160
perhaps a Korean car and they go, now this one we put in

334
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,200
the passenger foot Well, okay,
thanks great, now we're gonna do that

335
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:25,319
job. Like I said, most
of these this is the generalized scenario you

336
00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:29,319
will. You may have landed on
a bit of a turkey where everything is

337
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,519
came out from me behind the wall. Perhaps hey not for nothing as well.

338
00:21:33,599 --> 00:21:37,119
Time I got thrown a couple of
times with some high end German cars,

339
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:41,279
and the batteries in the fucking boot. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah,

340
00:21:41,319 --> 00:21:47,240
BMW did it for a while.
Yeah why, I don't know? Evil?

341
00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:51,920
What can I say? Axles of
evil? Even so, it would

342
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:56,039
also have been another good name for
this episode. Let's let's let's let's change

343
00:21:56,079 --> 00:21:59,759
his fucking oil. So with that, you've drained, drained the pan.

344
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,119
Now don't attempted to go, take
a phone call and go, I'll start

345
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:07,039
the car. Everything's done at this
stage. I would pull even maybe pull

346
00:22:07,079 --> 00:22:08,240
the pull the leads off the battery, but that will be for that's for

347
00:22:08,279 --> 00:22:12,319
another moment. You want to get
it off. Now, there are a

348
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,279
handful of ways of getting it off. I'll give you two. I'll give

349
00:22:15,279 --> 00:22:22,799
you the correct way. I'll give
you the country I'll take. I'll take

350
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,279
correct, Please correct sometimes now you
will. Some of the fancier cars haven't

351
00:22:26,319 --> 00:22:30,440
even have quit their own brand cover. That will go over it too.

352
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,240
But again, it looks exactly.
It looks like what I'm describing, looks

353
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:37,680
like an upturned cop, you know
what I mean, a big mug.

354
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:44,559
So there's a strap you can buy
and he uses inertia. You put it

355
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:49,599
around it and just lock it on. Twist cleanly off fifteen quid. Keep

356
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:55,000
it forever forever. It works like
it's like a rubber strap, exactly.

357
00:22:55,079 --> 00:23:00,640
It works forever on all of them. Mind it. My own man used

358
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,359
to just drive a screwdriver straight through. It'll be the long screw driver with

359
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,680
a hammer, and he basically made
his own version of a handle. He

360
00:23:07,759 --> 00:23:11,240
put a handle through the right well. Because you're not going to be putting

361
00:23:11,279 --> 00:23:14,440
this back on, No, it's
it's dead and buried. It will go

362
00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:18,599
to the same union's municipal dump.
You're taking the oil time nice. There's

363
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:19,759
a few steps to getting a new
one back on. You do have to

364
00:23:19,759 --> 00:23:22,880
grease the inside of it. Use
a little bit of the old oil if

365
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,680
you want it just to grease,
just because what it does that forms a

366
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:29,079
seal. It's not just to make
it easier to screw back in. If

367
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:33,240
it does form a new seal.
Back on oil in the top. The

368
00:23:33,279 --> 00:23:37,400
top will be oil, and it
always goes in the top of the engine.

369
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:41,000
It's the biggest. It's a big
open you know exactly. You may

370
00:23:41,039 --> 00:23:44,400
have to pop the cover. But
it's normally a color like yellow. It

371
00:23:44,559 --> 00:23:47,279
tends to be universal. It could
be black. It might be the color

372
00:23:47,279 --> 00:23:49,480
of your engine, but typically the
University yellow. It always has to sit

373
00:23:49,519 --> 00:23:52,759
on the top because that's where the
oil's got to go through the pistons.

374
00:23:52,799 --> 00:23:57,240
It's got to go through everything.
Make sure you have exactly the right amount

375
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,640
of oil because a lot of time, your car like mine right now,

376
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,519
takes weirdly six and a half liters. You can't buy a six and a

377
00:24:03,559 --> 00:24:07,519
half liter, can you gotta buy
You gotta buy it five and a two.

378
00:24:07,599 --> 00:24:10,200
But don't put in seven. You
can't put in seven. If you're

379
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,799
at six and you get me,
it's gotta be How do I know?

380
00:24:11,839 --> 00:24:15,920
Where is that written? How much? Oh again? Manual? You gotta

381
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,720
know your manual. You have to
look at your manual. If you can't,

382
00:24:18,759 --> 00:24:22,480
you'll find a PDF of your manual
for free on second you type it

383
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:26,200
in. It's gotta be done.
And the oil does change. Is not

384
00:24:26,279 --> 00:24:27,880
universal anywhere. The oil does change
as per the size, your car,

385
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,519
type, your car, and all
the rest of it. So you gotta

386
00:24:30,559 --> 00:24:33,640
know what it is. That's where
a mechanic will go. Jessy would know

387
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:34,640
what you do. Trust me,
you'll get to the bottom of it.

388
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,640
It's normally a round number. But
you gotta put that number in. You

389
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,440
put in too much and you over
your injury, could over compress itself and

390
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,640
bust it up. That's what all
right, So this is the diehard with

391
00:24:45,799 --> 00:24:49,920
a vengeance jugs puzzle here exactly exactly, but making sure you've tightened up everything,

392
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,279
your filtering, your bone. You
should be hunky dory. You're back

393
00:24:53,319 --> 00:24:56,319
in. Your car will sound better
immediately, it will sound better. You'll

394
00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:00,440
notice it. And that's an oil
chain. That's what I've been given focus

395
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,519
ey euro for. Yeah, that's
it. That's it. And they ain't

396
00:25:03,599 --> 00:25:07,720
using I can tell you here now
they use a shell. It will probably

397
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:11,519
cost you the oil itself. If
you're going really good, you'll probably come

398
00:25:11,559 --> 00:25:14,119
to a build of about fifty quid, do you know what I mean.

399
00:25:14,559 --> 00:25:18,920
That's for a new filter. And
you can get a combo pack from a

400
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,519
lot of these a lot of these
garages online, Irish garages online or wherever

401
00:25:22,519 --> 00:25:26,519
you're living. You can get combo
packages that fit your car. Look,

402
00:25:26,599 --> 00:25:30,599
I tell you, take a Saturday
morning, enjoy yourself. It's worth doing.

403
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:33,799
And that's the vibe throughout this whole
thing. You'd be so glad if

404
00:25:33,839 --> 00:25:38,680
you did nothing else to your car. If you did nothing else mechanically to

405
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:45,519
your car. This will still keep
the engine going. WI range plugs,

406
00:25:45,559 --> 00:25:48,880
all those things born out, sure, but they won't be utterly detrimental.

407
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,000
And number one thing is that big
lump of metal down the middle with the

408
00:25:52,039 --> 00:25:56,039
old piston movie things. You gotta
keep that well oiled and put good oil

409
00:25:56,079 --> 00:25:59,480
in it. Everything else. I'm
not saying go to the low cost thing,

410
00:25:59,519 --> 00:26:03,319
but you got it. You gotta
look after it to the good stuff

411
00:26:03,519 --> 00:26:07,000
exactly right. So that's as simple
as an oil change is. That's an

412
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:12,680
oil change. Get old stuff out, put cap on that, get filter

413
00:26:12,799 --> 00:26:17,559
off, put new filter on,
put in new stuff. That's the basics

414
00:26:17,559 --> 00:26:21,480
of it. That is, that's
the basics of it. There's no resetting

415
00:26:21,519 --> 00:26:26,079
anything. You do those steps correctly
demystified an oil change. There you go.

416
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,559
There you go. Now next one
year. A lot of people are

417
00:26:30,559 --> 00:26:34,119
gonna scoff at this because I swear, of course, but all of these

418
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,160
should be class. This should be
transition here. This should be a class

419
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:41,759
and transition should yeah, it should, And this should be the number one

420
00:26:41,759 --> 00:26:45,359
thing if you're ever thinking of having
a child, If you have a child,

421
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,160
this should be one of the things
you teach them before the age of

422
00:26:49,079 --> 00:26:56,039
fourteen, so that it is ingrained
in their brain changing a flat tire.

423
00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,920
The amount of people I swear to
God I must have helped and I'm still

424
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:06,319
only human. It's not like I'm
magical, but I must have helped fifty

425
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:12,000
to sixty people in my time changing
a tire. I learned it. Once

426
00:27:12,039 --> 00:27:15,240
I learned how to change a tire, Tom, I was looking. I

427
00:27:15,319 --> 00:27:18,799
was on the lookout for the rest
of my life for people with flat tires

428
00:27:18,799 --> 00:27:22,000
that I could go over and go
I'll change that for I fucking know how

429
00:27:22,519 --> 00:27:26,480
Oh my god, do you have
any Do you have any set tips that

430
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:27,839
do you want to kick off with? Before I read what I've actually written,

431
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,920
I don't know why, but there's
a couple of pointers already. I

432
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:36,440
have one tip Tom that when I
learned it, like ten years ago or

433
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,920
whatever it was, it was presented
as being, Yeah, that's good,

434
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:45,119
that's some good, solid advice.
Yeah, that's just steady. More things

435
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:48,599
should be taught like that. And
now it has become like kind of like

436
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,640
shorthand for fucking idiots, you know
what I mean. Like, if you

437
00:27:52,799 --> 00:27:56,519
use this method, you're clearly a
fucking moron that doesn't know how to tie

438
00:27:56,559 --> 00:28:02,799
their shoes. And that's the phrase, righty tidy, lefty lucy. Oh

439
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,640
my god, yeah, that's right. Actually, I'm going to wake my

440
00:28:06,759 --> 00:28:08,319
child up now and actually teach him
that. By the way, I think

441
00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:12,759
I think his grandfather did it already. But this is this is this is

442
00:28:12,799 --> 00:28:18,039
the direction where you how you loosen
nuts on a car, Turn them left

443
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:21,079
to loosen them, turn them right
to tighten. Because I like, there

444
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:25,519
was people people out there are trying
to unscrew nuts on a car, only

445
00:28:25,519 --> 00:28:27,240
making shit tighter or making it too
tight that they could get it off,

446
00:28:27,319 --> 00:28:30,519
or not being able to get off. And I was sold righty tidy,

447
00:28:30,759 --> 00:28:33,400
lefty lucy. And I was like, that's just so, that's so easy

448
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,519
to remember. You're never gonna forget
that. And then I've seen some fucker

449
00:28:36,559 --> 00:28:40,759
on Twitter there and he's like about
something real Lobo's like, oh, this

450
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,400
is one of these fucking righty tidy, lefty lucy things. Is it for

451
00:28:45,079 --> 00:28:48,240
lady? It's a trophy? Why
are you fucking sneer or not? That's

452
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:52,799
good advice? Tipship likes it become
like a figure of fun and it was

453
00:28:52,839 --> 00:28:56,000
like, you know, like if
you're giving advice to like sports teams or

454
00:28:56,000 --> 00:29:00,359
whatever, well yeah, well thanks
very much, Captain obvious. Have the

455
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,759
lighty tidy, lefty lucy over here
giving that things like why are you fucking

456
00:29:03,839 --> 00:29:07,119
doing this? That's good advice.
I'm sorry, Tom, take it away,

457
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,720
take it fucking away from you.
I get it, I get it.

458
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,680
And there's Look, there's loads of
things to watch out for. This

459
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:12,759
is a lot. A lot of
this is going to be for people who

460
00:29:12,759 --> 00:29:18,200
are new to driving a car,
or maybe you've just always left it,

461
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:22,039
as the Americans will say with the
auto shop, who knows right. But

462
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,920
look, you got to keep an
eye on your tires because those are the

463
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:29,519
only thing touching the road, the
only bit of the car that touch the

464
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:33,960
road that comes off. It ain't
like rails on a train. This stuff

465
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,200
needs maintenance. You got to keep
an eye on. I'm not going to

466
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,200
tell you what brand to buy,
but I would go if you were thinking

467
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,359
of one price, I'd go a
bit above it. Always, especially if

468
00:29:41,359 --> 00:29:47,759
you live in an interesting climb that
is Ireland. You never know what you're

469
00:29:47,799 --> 00:29:51,039
going to get, right, You
never know, much like Forrest Gump.

470
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,039
He was probably talking about tires.
Metaphorically that time when it came to the

471
00:29:53,119 --> 00:29:57,079
chocolates. But you never know what
you're going to get, so look after

472
00:29:59,119 --> 00:30:00,519
if you do find yoursel in this
situation. Now I'm going to give just

473
00:30:00,519 --> 00:30:03,480
one scenario. I'm gonna say,
if you're driving on the motor when you're

474
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,680
feeling but go Look, I can't
go. We'll be here for a thousand

475
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:12,200
scenarios. You come back from the
shop tires down ballecks. Now I will

476
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,720
appreciate there's a lot of people listening. Going so my car doesn't come with

477
00:30:15,799 --> 00:30:18,559
a fucking spare tire anymore. Well, here's the thing, neither did mine.

478
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,240
Guess what I have in the fucking
boot spare tire. I went to

479
00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:26,400
a scrapyard and bought a wheel the
same as the ones that are on it.

480
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,559
Because if I here's the ship,
and think if I'm caught after doing

481
00:30:29,559 --> 00:30:33,799
a gig in Monahan on a fucking
Saturday night and it's twelve at night and

482
00:30:33,839 --> 00:30:37,559
I need to get back to South
Tipperary, I sure shit do not want

483
00:30:37,559 --> 00:30:40,799
to be pumping up with any sort
of foam if the wall has come off

484
00:30:40,799 --> 00:30:45,599
it because I've driven over some road
shrapnel or they've got one of those mini

485
00:30:45,599 --> 00:30:48,640
space saver things that I can't go
over fifty k in. No, you're

486
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,720
grant. I want. You have
a long ways to go, and I'm

487
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,039
gonna tell you to them. Like
you know, people might be like,

488
00:30:53,359 --> 00:30:56,799
oh, well you could just ring
roadside assistance, yeah, or you know

489
00:30:56,839 --> 00:31:00,480
what you could do otherwise. Listen
to Tom for the next five minutes.

490
00:31:00,839 --> 00:31:04,680
None of this it relates to roadside
assistance. None of what we're going to

491
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,759
say today. This is getting it
put Bady's going to fix that tire quicker

492
00:31:08,799 --> 00:31:11,400
than you're going to fix it yourself, and it's going to take your five

493
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:17,319
minutes to learn. Here are the
steps. Assuming you have a spare tire

494
00:31:17,319 --> 00:31:18,480
in the boat. If you don't
go fucking buy one, go to a

495
00:31:18,519 --> 00:31:22,200
scrapyard on Saturday morning. I swear
to God that have one that will fidget

496
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,200
fitted. It will cost you twenty
quid. You'll be delighted. Put a

497
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,079
tire on it, put it in
the boat. It won't take up as

498
00:31:27,119 --> 00:31:33,400
much space to you think right,
it genuinely won't. Applying the fact that

499
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,400
the possibility or the hypothesis that you
do have a spare tire, you come

500
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:41,599
back tire down balox front passenger side. Let's just say it's front passenger side.

501
00:31:41,799 --> 00:31:47,640
Right, first thing you're gonna do, it's down. Go get your

502
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:51,200
wrench. Now, these are a
handful of things if you're going to If

503
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:53,160
you figure I'm going to drive forever, I love driving, I'm gonna mind

504
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:56,680
my car. Handful of things.
Make sure you have a decent spare tire.

505
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:04,960
Yes, fuck the wrench that it
came with. Yeah, you can

506
00:32:05,079 --> 00:32:09,039
use it. But guess what I
have. I would have a twenty inch

507
00:32:09,079 --> 00:32:13,279
torque wrench. Yeah, which means
it goes out to twenty inches. Wich

508
00:32:13,319 --> 00:32:16,440
means even if I'm feeling as weak
as a them, I'll crack open the

509
00:32:16,519 --> 00:32:20,799
nuts on a fucking truck with this
thing. Yeah, the swing and I

510
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:23,839
see Porme misfortunes doing with the butt
like they're saving metal. And these little

511
00:32:23,839 --> 00:32:29,359
wrenches that they put in car.
Get yourself and it will fit right in

512
00:32:29,519 --> 00:32:31,240
the little elastic bandits at the side
of your boot. It'll fit right in

513
00:32:31,279 --> 00:32:36,640
there too, right. Trust me, you'll have it for life. You'll

514
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:38,000
take and take it onto your next
car. Take it onto your next car.

515
00:32:38,079 --> 00:32:39,960
I have the I have like a
like a like a t bar,

516
00:32:40,079 --> 00:32:44,519
like a cross. Oh, yeah, a good quality one, I guess,

517
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,160
four different sizes, Yeah, four
different sizes. I got one of

518
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,440
them, and I've had it for
the past couple of cars. Because what

519
00:32:50,559 --> 00:32:52,519
comes with your car, as Tom
says, is like something you'd get in

520
00:32:52,599 --> 00:32:57,519
a cracker at Christmas. Genuinely,
genuinely, I have tempted to give it

521
00:32:57,559 --> 00:33:00,799
to the un flip just play it. But what it does look It looks

522
00:33:00,839 --> 00:33:02,680
good when it's passed down when you're
selling the car, because it's immaculate,

523
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:07,039
you shouldn't have actually ever used it. Also, and this is one I

524
00:33:07,119 --> 00:33:10,240
learned from my own man, and
much when you're seventeen years of age and

525
00:33:10,279 --> 00:33:14,200
you hear advice from your old man, you're like, oh, what would

526
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,400
he know? I to give you? Okay, some point one of the

527
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:19,799
first mornings I ever drove his car
was to drive to work for him for

528
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,440
him, but he wasn't in the
day and he said, look, take

529
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:24,359
I was like, why do you
have I swear my life? He had

530
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:28,079
in a state car at the time, and he said, I s why

531
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,839
is the spare wheel in the up
in the boot part where you could see

532
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:32,359
when it was opening? He goes, honestly, the other spare wheel because

533
00:33:32,359 --> 00:33:36,319
the other one was hidden in the
well. Use two spare wheels. I

534
00:33:36,359 --> 00:33:40,160
went yeah, and looking at me
like yeah, because I'm always getting to

535
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:45,319
work no matter what. And I'm
like, man, when I swear my

536
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:50,279
life, whatever data you believe in
or don't believe in, I didn't get

537
00:33:50,319 --> 00:33:52,359
half a mile from the fucking house
when I got one puncture, and a

538
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:57,720
quarter mile more I got another puncture, and I had to sneak at lunchtime

539
00:33:57,799 --> 00:34:00,920
down to the local fucking tire guy
and go, can you do those tires

540
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:05,000
real quick? Yeah? Problem put
them back in, tried to dort him

541
00:34:05,039 --> 00:34:07,039
up a bit. Of course,
the man rang the old man and said,

542
00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:10,719
your young flow is in here getting
two tires. But look, you

543
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:15,320
can never It's like the good boy
scout always have two of everything. But

544
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:20,000
anyway, so your car is down, tires down, you get that wrench

545
00:34:20,039 --> 00:34:22,760
while it's down and in contact frick
heavy friction with with the road, with

546
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,880
the car parking space, whatever,
it's right. You take the say you've

547
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:29,880
got five nuts, crack them,
and cracking them just means giving them one

548
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:34,079
half revolution left you, lucy,
And it literally goes pank, pank,

549
00:34:34,599 --> 00:34:37,000
pank, all five. Crack them. Don't open them up fully, just

550
00:34:37,119 --> 00:34:40,159
crack them. Take the take the
strength out of them, right, have

551
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:44,119
an inch return. Yeah, Now, go back to the boot. Take

552
00:34:44,119 --> 00:34:47,440
out the spare wheel. Put it
on beside the car, just up against

553
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:51,280
the edge of it. Underneath.
It won't slip underneath it. It won't

554
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:52,880
unless you've got a big high rig. It won't get underneath it now.

555
00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:58,679
But just have it ready. Get
your jack now. Advice on jack's.

556
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,199
Here's also one from my fat that
I have carried, and I have onto

557
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:06,039
my second one now. But and
I've never ever used the car jack that

558
00:35:06,079 --> 00:35:09,840
comes with the car. I have
a trolley jack again, I tell you,

559
00:35:10,639 --> 00:35:15,199
I tell you why, because the
scissors jacks, I would sooner try

560
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:20,239
putting my head under there for safety. I just I have heart palpitations at

561
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,880
the idea of a scissors jack.
The other windy up yolks, I might

562
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,840
fucking I'd be still at the first
wheel. I ever fucking got a puncture

563
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:30,079
in with those fucking things. A
trolley jack is. It's like a mini

564
00:35:30,199 --> 00:35:32,280
version of what you see the mechanic
with. There are about fifty quid guys

565
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:36,239
in the mechanic in a in a
car shop fifty quid by it. You'll

566
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:37,559
keep it forever. You'd be so
proud taken it out of the fucking puncture

567
00:35:37,559 --> 00:35:42,480
to be like here here's mine,
because it just in literally five pumps cars

568
00:35:42,559 --> 00:35:45,559
up with no effort. Again,
this is all you can. I have

569
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:51,280
changed tires in snow white shirts for
women, an old woman. I'll never

570
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:52,639
forget it. My shoes, your
shirt to be the stride I went it

571
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:57,239
will not I didn't even roll up
my chair. I'dn't even roll up my

572
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,920
sleeves. And immaculate. These are
two things that you'll be so glad it

573
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:04,960
will say. I must say it
that if it comes with a little windy

574
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,239
up Christmas cracker jack that you get
with the car, will get will get

575
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:13,360
the job done. I've it's never
let me down. But I've seen your

576
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,719
trolley jacksman, and I'm like,
oh, look they are rated for the

577
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:21,599
car. I'm not denying they do
the trick, but I personally like I

578
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:23,920
like, I like a thing that
really does a good job, and I

579
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:27,280
don't I'm not extraving, gonna spend
a lot of money on stuff, but

580
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,880
I swear to God, if you
do this in your life, when you

581
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:34,119
have a car. You'll be so
glad like it's up and five and you

582
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:37,039
lock it down with hydraulics too.
It's so you know it's not going anywhere

583
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:39,400
now it's going. The car's up. At this point, you want to

584
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:43,559
pumpump, ump, bump, pump
until the flat wheel, which will kind

585
00:36:43,559 --> 00:36:46,960
of look like it's fine again,
is actually at least an inch which is

586
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:52,840
twenty five millimeters for the Europeans here
off the ground. Now's the time I

587
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:58,480
want you to slip. You're perfectly
fine, fresh spare tire underneath the car,

588
00:36:59,039 --> 00:37:00,920
just under the well, under the
door, alongside your jack. Because

589
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:06,559
here's the thing. A jack is
class while let's stays being a jack.

590
00:37:07,199 --> 00:37:10,800
But if a jack ever fucking breaks, it's now dropping a fucking ton and

591
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:15,079
a half a steal in your direction
because you're on the side where it's got

592
00:37:15,079 --> 00:37:17,800
the flat tire. Yeah, but
that but if the jack ever breaks,

593
00:37:19,039 --> 00:37:21,880
now you've put at least five inches
of wheel under to keep it off the

594
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,559
fucking ground. You haven't broken your
fucking wheel hub. It's off the ground.

595
00:37:24,599 --> 00:37:28,960
You've got two levels of safety now, right, I mean, like

596
00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:30,239
this is a lot of health and
safety time I got. I know,

597
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:35,320
I know, but this is you'll
do it fast. Once you've done it

598
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,280
once, you'll do it fast,
and you thank me. But now,

599
00:37:37,599 --> 00:37:42,039
wheels up, you're off. You're
off to the fucking races. You're off

600
00:37:42,039 --> 00:37:45,719
to the races. Crack off those
nuts. Do them opposite each other.

601
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:50,000
So five, if we say we've
got a star of five, do number

602
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:55,559
twelve, Do number six, Do
number two, do number eight? You

603
00:37:55,559 --> 00:37:58,400
know what I mean? Like,
so do try and do the opposite each

604
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,119
other. So the wheel isn't fucking
just all swinging out at one end at

605
00:38:01,119 --> 00:38:05,119
the bottom trying to be opposite each
other. Now you might find too,

606
00:38:05,159 --> 00:38:07,360
you go, fuck, these wheels
have never been off. It might be

607
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,039
sticking a little. Don't be shy
to just turn around and crack your heel

608
00:38:10,039 --> 00:38:13,400
off the bottom at the bottom of
the tire. It'll pop cleanly off.

609
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,119
Get a little bit of a yeah
again, a little bit now it will.

610
00:38:17,199 --> 00:38:20,519
Your fingers, the end of your
fingers are gonna get white, gonna

611
00:38:20,519 --> 00:38:23,079
get black. That's why a road
merchant like me always keeps baby wipes in

612
00:38:23,119 --> 00:38:27,079
the back long before ever, fucking
child keep them in the boat. Your

613
00:38:27,079 --> 00:38:29,400
hands are gonna be fucking rank and
you're gonna filtery up the stair wheel,

614
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:31,480
roll that fuck it into the boat. No need to put it down the

615
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,719
well, because you're going to be
taken it to the tire shop pretty soon.

616
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,400
Now this is the only period where
there isn't ultimate safety, but there's

617
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:43,000
absolutely fine. If you have a
trolley jack, pull out your fucking tire,

618
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,000
or you can swap in the other
one if you want the dead one,

619
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:49,920
pull it out, roll it up
and line it up, simple as

620
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,360
that. Now, wind in all
five nuts again. You put on your

621
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:58,639
wheel, all five nuts again.
Crack it just enough till she's nice and

622
00:38:58,679 --> 00:39:00,760
tight, but don't go fuck can
swing it on her because she is technically

623
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:04,400
up in the air a little bit. Don't go fucking leaping on it now

624
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,760
with your foot right now's the time. She's nice and tight as she needs

625
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,880
to legally be because you've given it. Put a bit of body right behind

626
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:15,400
it. But don't go fucking hopping
off it. All five nuts nice and

627
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:20,320
tight, righty tighty ighty tiny babies, Rip back to the jack, drop

628
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:24,360
her down back over to the nuts. Now you can put your fucking foot

629
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:29,079
on it all five Put your fucking
foot into it. Half a revolution,

630
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:34,519
quarter of a revolution just enough for
it goes ah, you know it's gone.

631
00:39:35,159 --> 00:39:38,519
You're in. Jack out the whole
lot, into the boot, clean

632
00:39:38,559 --> 00:39:42,719
the hands, close the boot,
find the fucking tire. Shot get a

633
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:45,159
new tire straight away. That's it. I sat that the next thing you

634
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:52,199
do. But those look to hear
the very basics. Flat tire, crack

635
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:54,519
the nuts, get it up,
get out your get out your spare tar,

636
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:58,679
get it up if you want.
I'm just I'd like a bit to

637
00:39:58,679 --> 00:40:00,840
save because I used to drive big
head jeeps. Is the thing. That

638
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:05,880
fucking thing comes down, you're done. So if you're look, if you're

639
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,440
driving the fucking mass dem X five, you're okay, You'll be all right,

640
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:12,480
You'll be all right. Those things
can fall in your hands all day.

641
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,800
Now, there's all sorts of things. You're on the side of the

642
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,280
fucking road and you have one of
those triangle things, get it out and

643
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:21,840
it's on the fucking drivers, get
it out. Of course archives part I

644
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,320
can. I'm not going to teach
you all of that, but the basics

645
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:29,239
of it as don't be frightened of
getting after it yourself. If you're going

646
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:30,079
I can't get the wheel that's open, well, if you can't. You

647
00:40:30,159 --> 00:40:36,679
fucking can't call them or whoever you're
with. But you should be fucking well

648
00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:38,519
ashamed of yourself. You've listened to
this fucking podcast and you can go straight

649
00:40:38,559 --> 00:40:43,519
out and buy yourself a huge fucking
wrench. You should, you really should

650
00:40:43,679 --> 00:40:47,719
get out asked for one for Christmas? Exactly exactly so all of the things

651
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:51,480
on that time. I will say, now that you're there, like you

652
00:40:51,519 --> 00:40:55,000
know, you can't loosen the ranges. There have been a couple of occasions.

653
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:59,360
Now I got the job done,
but there have been a couple of

654
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:04,039
occasions you find like you're the nuts
have been put on by a machine in

655
00:41:04,079 --> 00:41:07,119
a garage, and the Katoka gun
they're fucking tramps, and the Yakatuka gun.

656
00:41:07,199 --> 00:41:10,760
Yes, that's a great point.
I lost a wheel and I'd say

657
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:15,800
I last wheel by fuck. I
got my money back minus sixteen. It

658
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:21,400
was during those heavy heavy yeah,
yeah, yeah, I was heading to

659
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:25,360
a gig and cork the place you
remember you remember my land drover, Yeah,

660
00:41:25,679 --> 00:41:34,119
still still have it and fucking puncture
heavy puncture pulling. Got four to

661
00:41:34,199 --> 00:41:37,840
five nuts off. No, I
mean nothing, the old man, and

662
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,760
it wasn't from the parents house.
I was passing their house, called up

663
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:44,000
heat a fucking like a four or
five foot pipe. Put it on over

664
00:41:44,039 --> 00:41:47,119
the put on just not coming turns
out. They put it on with tucker

665
00:41:47,159 --> 00:41:52,559
gun and absolutely split the nut inside
it like it was not coming out.

666
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:58,519
They fucking welded it in. Well. It's called the Yukatuka gun because it

667
00:41:58,519 --> 00:42:02,239
goes. Go look for look if
you want to look up. If you've

668
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:06,159
never been in a tire shop,
go look. Just hang around outside one.

669
00:42:06,199 --> 00:42:07,960
That's what you hear. Listen on
a listen, listen listen on a

670
00:42:08,079 --> 00:42:12,679
on a on a on a clear
summer morning. In the distance, you

671
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:16,480
might hear if if you've gotten to
the took a took a point, then

672
00:42:16,519 --> 00:42:21,599
that's took a gun maiden. Okay, so that's that's the son of a

673
00:42:21,599 --> 00:42:24,320
bit, all right, And and
the the triangle on the road as well,

674
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:29,039
to make sure you're all hazards on
cool in the gang. Right.

675
00:42:29,519 --> 00:42:32,599
It's gotten. It's now at point
because there's so much traffic on every fucking

676
00:42:32,679 --> 00:42:37,079
road and Ireland that you really give
everybody every opportunity. And I swear it

677
00:42:37,119 --> 00:42:38,280
is a legal thing in France and
they should really bring it in here.

678
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:43,000
I'm so I'm I'm an advocate for
the highve's vest I swear to god,

679
00:42:43,039 --> 00:42:44,920
if it is at night and you're
inside of the road, banging on,

680
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,679
bang it on, because somebody could
be looking out the windows scratching their hole,

681
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:52,519
fart and get on the highves.
It's always good. Here's one for

682
00:42:52,679 --> 00:42:53,920
you, Tom, and I'm sorry
if you were about to mention it.

683
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:58,760
Maybe you wear maybe you wear it. This is Jerry's fucking contribution to the

684
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:06,960
whole thing. Lock nuts. Mm
hmm. It's very possible that your car

685
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:13,280
on each wheel has one nut which
is a special fucking Dungeons and Dragons nut.

686
00:43:13,519 --> 00:43:16,960
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah
that that that your wrench just won't

687
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:22,719
fit. It just simply won't fit
it. And that's the stop scoreless bastards

688
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:28,039
from robbing your wheels at night,
because they won't have the very special socket

689
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:34,679
that will fit that one particular nut
and unscrew it off. I promise you

690
00:43:34,679 --> 00:43:39,000
you have a socket for that somewhere
in your car, in the glove box,

691
00:43:39,119 --> 00:43:45,039
in the fucking little manual fold,
or somewhere in the back. Then

692
00:43:45,079 --> 00:43:50,199
then decide where all the papers are
on the driver's side in the what do

693
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,239
they call it a little where I
used to find them all the time was

694
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:59,079
fucked in with the wheel in the
wheel well right fed in there. Nobody's

695
00:43:59,079 --> 00:44:01,199
ever rubbed this on, Nobody sold
the car to you and tuck that with

696
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:05,000
them, because it was never any
fucking good to them. It was only

697
00:44:05,039 --> 00:44:07,239
good for the car that it was
with. And if you don't have that,

698
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:12,039
you are fucked, or you can
ring all the road side assistants.

699
00:44:12,039 --> 00:44:15,920
When the roadside assistance shows up,
they're going to be where's the lock nott

700
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:19,599
socker for this? They're not going
to have one. They don't have one

701
00:44:19,639 --> 00:44:22,440
for every car in the back of
the van. So there are some some

702
00:44:22,599 --> 00:44:25,039
brands alright where you can. But
there's a lot of possibility where he could

703
00:44:25,039 --> 00:44:28,679
just slide open the other side and
break out an oxy a settling tank like

704
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:30,880
I had to do with the fucking
land Rover that night, and he just

705
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:32,840
had to cut the fucking wheel clean
off the car. Like, So you

706
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:37,599
don't want that. It's it's looks
it's like a little a little fitting that

707
00:44:37,639 --> 00:44:40,480
goes on to the actual spanner that
comes with you know, it's Jerry's one

708
00:44:40,519 --> 00:44:44,800
hundredercent right, they are. I
don't people aren't robin wheels as much as

709
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:49,320
they used to. It was back
when alloy wheels, you know it was.

710
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:53,920
It was looks if anybody has any
anything to that's how I change the

711
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:58,559
fucking wheel. And I can do
it under two minutes, no matter the

712
00:44:58,639 --> 00:45:01,880
size of the fucking rig doesn't get
it off. If you don't know where

713
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:06,840
your fucking locknut wrench is, go
find it. It is in your car

714
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:08,920
somewhere and know where it is.
And like, like, if you drop

715
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:13,159
that thing down for a service and
the lad is set is changing the brakes,

716
00:45:13,199 --> 00:45:15,440
he's gonna want to know where that
is because to take the tire off

717
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:21,320
in the garage you get the brakes
changed someday or the freaking calibers tweaked.

718
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,039
I don't talking about it, but
they're going the first thing they're going to

719
00:45:23,079 --> 00:45:27,559
say is where's the wrench for the
locknote And if you're there, like they're

720
00:45:27,559 --> 00:45:30,760
gonna be like, well, the
funk off, we can't do not just

721
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:36,400
know where it is, just just
just keep it with I say this loosely,

722
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:38,079
but you do have to be an
adult to drive technically every once in

723
00:45:38,079 --> 00:45:42,119
a while, So be a fucking
adult in this situation it's your car,

724
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,960
get a fucking hold yourself. Don't
walk in landing to a place. God,

725
00:45:45,079 --> 00:45:51,639
I just don't know. You should
know what moving? Hey, you

726
00:45:51,679 --> 00:45:55,719
know what if you don't know where
it is? You know, if you've

727
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:59,760
listened to this podcast and in six
weeks time you're caught on the side of

728
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,639
the road with no locknut, all
I can say is, haha, what

729
00:46:02,679 --> 00:46:06,639
do you want us to do?
We told you we totally do it.

730
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:10,239
Now, staying with the team,
the shoes on your car and all the

731
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:13,920
rest of it. I'm going to
quickly move rip on because it turns out

732
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:16,280
I've written a ragged things here that
we ain't going to get through them all

733
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:21,440
tonight. I smell a Part two
easily could be, but I would What

734
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:24,039
I would like is for people to
actually comment under this, whether it be

735
00:46:24,079 --> 00:46:30,480
on Instagram or Twitter, comment under
this with your thoughts as well. Maybe

736
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:34,039
we miss something, maybe I did
something totally wrong, or tell you what

737
00:46:34,199 --> 00:46:37,119
we do. Yeah, we'll do
one more of these and then we'll do

738
00:46:37,159 --> 00:46:42,320
a part two. Fuck it?
Yeah, okay, all right, keep

739
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:45,280
an eye like keep an eye.
We talked about tires. You may lost

740
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:46,239
the tire. You'll have to go
to a tire shop. Even if it's

741
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:50,159
a slow puncture, small puncture,
it could only be it might be pissing

742
00:46:50,159 --> 00:46:52,719
out from the valve. It might
be pissing out from and little nicky,

743
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:54,199
you picked up something. You may
have shredded the thing as I have done.

744
00:46:54,199 --> 00:46:58,039
It. Many a tire off whether
it's a curb or whether it's you

745
00:46:58,039 --> 00:47:00,800
know, but you you need to
know about your tires. Do I need

746
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:06,760
new tires? Now? Most places
are looking out for your best safety,

747
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:08,960
right for the most part, And
they'll go, look, I say,

748
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:15,440
now, you could just turn around
and go I'll take my chances. If

749
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:19,119
you don't know what if you don't
know what you're doing, do what they're

750
00:47:19,119 --> 00:47:21,920
saying. Right. But if you
do know what you're doing, and you've

751
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:25,280
met a shyster who's trying to offload
some tires that came out of Who's biggest

752
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:29,880
stant, it's just like, look, you gotta you got you need four

753
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,519
new tires and you I don't think
I did. You will notice, right,

754
00:47:32,519 --> 00:47:37,159
And this sounds simplistic and it sounds
again. But if you like most

755
00:47:37,159 --> 00:47:40,400
people drive a front wheel drive car, summer back wheel drive I e.

756
00:47:40,559 --> 00:47:45,079
Marks BMW's there's a bunch of them, you know, some of the old

757
00:47:45,119 --> 00:47:49,679
folder forwards a real drives Air audience. Tom. Yeah, they'll know it,

758
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,119
they'll know what, they'll know what. They'll know what. You will

759
00:47:52,159 --> 00:47:55,199
notice the random marks and bms true
unless they're do you know what they are?

760
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:59,360
The auld yokes, but old classics
like he thirty six's and stuff.

761
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:00,719
I guarantee I'm slammer, just slagging
you, guys, I love you.

762
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:06,639
It's mostly going to be your front
tires be the first swear. It's up

763
00:48:06,679 --> 00:48:08,960
to you where you want to change
them. I'm a man around this time,

764
00:48:09,159 --> 00:48:14,480
coming up to my always my birthday, I'll be changing tires because September

765
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:17,760
twenty first, for me, that's
it, literally is the switch between you

766
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:22,679
can it's the switch from autumn.
Autumn is kicking in and you gotta be

767
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:24,840
looking at new tires at that stage. And I guarantee you there was a

768
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:30,400
stage I was nearly burning fucking three
sets of tires after that in a year

769
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:35,119
anyway. But don't let it get
to the point where you're like thick,

770
00:48:35,519 --> 00:48:37,880
where you can start to feed your
arse wheeling a little bit across the Yeah,

771
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,039
you know what I mean. Don't
let it get to that point,

772
00:48:40,199 --> 00:48:45,679
but also at the same point,
if you still have fantastically grooved tires and

773
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:51,480
somebody goes tires near going because they
think they're the expert, at least at

774
00:48:51,559 --> 00:48:54,559
least, No, this is the
thing. Or if you've never met anybody,

775
00:48:54,559 --> 00:48:57,840
if nobody mentioned your tires, this
is how you keep an eye on

776
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,119
them, because you do. Now. Most tires now like tires nowadays.

777
00:49:00,119 --> 00:49:04,519
It's not like you know, you
live in Arizona. Most of us live

778
00:49:04,559 --> 00:49:07,400
in places where pisses rain or throats
and hot pisces rain roast hot. So

779
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:09,920
your tires are all weather fucking tires, right. They got the grooves that

780
00:49:10,199 --> 00:49:14,199
and the grooves for it isn't just
a grip along the road. They're really

781
00:49:14,199 --> 00:49:17,480
well designed that they throw water through
the tire and out so that the stuffs

782
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:22,079
are touching the surface of the road. Actually doesn't keep any water under it

783
00:49:22,119 --> 00:49:25,239
at all, so gives you full
traction. But what you need to keep

784
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:30,679
an eye out for it's there are
lines on the tire. There's still lines

785
00:49:30,679 --> 00:49:32,199
on it. I don't have to
worry until it gets to fucking Nascar sleek

786
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:37,159
right, No, No, you
gotta keep an eye now. There used

787
00:49:37,199 --> 00:49:42,519
to be little nipples in the gris. But what you'll find these days are

788
00:49:42,559 --> 00:49:45,920
like little you know, between the
frog's fingers, the little webs. Yeah,

789
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:50,480
well that's what's in your grooves,
in the grooves right. Oh yeah,

790
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,880
there's little webs inside there. Yeah
yeah yeah. Now you any tire

791
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:57,360
crowd, any tire crowd in the
country, pull in. They'll give you

792
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:00,800
a free depth. Now I think
I think it's too less than two millimeters

793
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:04,519
is allowed, like one point eight
or something. I could be I could

794
00:50:04,519 --> 00:50:07,800
be totally wrong, but fuck,
don't go to that. Don't go to

795
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,760
the don't go to it, because
you will meet there's so many different road

796
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:14,679
surfaces. This is the problem.
It's not like they're all going to be

797
00:50:14,679 --> 00:50:17,719
silverstone. You're going to meet a
country road. You're going to meet one

798
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:21,960
that was tired and chipped. You're
going to meet a noble road, but

799
00:50:22,039 --> 00:50:24,400
maybe has the camber going in the
wrong direction. Because we don't give one

800
00:50:24,519 --> 00:50:29,280
fuck. Apparently in some you know, it just happens, it just goes.

801
00:50:29,599 --> 00:50:31,880
Our tarmacd roads were followed off old
car pats and a lot of them.

802
00:50:32,039 --> 00:50:37,039
So road surfaces do change, stay
above the limit a little bit,

803
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:42,039
but for all of those, you'll
find that webbing inside that little bit of

804
00:50:42,079 --> 00:50:45,800
webbing. Just run your finger down
the track, you go, Oh Jesus

805
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:49,400
Christ, we're getting very close to
that. Yeah, that's the time to

806
00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:53,360
at least pop in and just get
that debade yourself. You can easy check

807
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:57,199
out any of the main websites,
like what I should have before this?

808
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:59,679
I didn't. But it is millimeters
stuff like, and you're kind of going,

809
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,360
yeah, I don't even like the
fact that's too It could be here.

810
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:06,039
I could totally wrong there. It
might be six mil of tread might

811
00:51:06,039 --> 00:51:07,760
be needed. I don't think it
is. I think it's no. But

812
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:13,239
Tom, I think it should be
very apparent to you know, even the

813
00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:17,719
latest of laymen, and know what
they're looking for you when the tire is

814
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:22,840
fucked. No, you have no
idea to really. Oh, I swear

815
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:24,800
on my life. The one thing
I know when a tires brand new,

816
00:51:25,199 --> 00:51:28,800
Oh listen, you do. You
can damn near smell the thing, right.

817
00:51:29,159 --> 00:51:31,760
But I'm telling you now, from
all the drivers I've met while doing

818
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:37,960
the Ferrarian Lamborghini experience, oh my
lord, oh my lord, oh my

819
00:51:38,199 --> 00:51:42,039
lord, you're looking over at their
own car and they might have a beautiful

820
00:51:42,039 --> 00:51:45,320
car, but you're going, Jesus
marriage, what, don't even go just

821
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:49,920
call the crowd to pick that car
up. You cannot leave here with I'm

822
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:52,000
looking at their car and you go, what are you doing? Man?

823
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:54,920
Their tires are eating off the thing. They're like, I thought I got

824
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:59,760
a little wiggly Yeah, yeah,
you think your tires look like a fucking

825
00:52:00,199 --> 00:52:05,639
top screen. Literally, so look
that. That is what to keep an

826
00:52:05,679 --> 00:52:09,360
eye out for people who and I
feel something like I literally I said,

827
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:12,920
I wrote this down and went what
am I doing? And then my brain

828
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:16,960
just popped it. Oh yeah,
I've literally met dozens of people who have

829
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:21,840
no grasp of looking at now.
Keep entire pressure in the car too,

830
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,519
because it can change with temperature and
all the rest of it throughout the year.

831
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:27,960
Say you're driving a big old car, maybe it isn't yours, and

832
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,199
you're insured in it for the weekend, and you're going, let's just pack

833
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:34,199
it up with all the stuff at
the back. You need to know your

834
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:36,639
tire pressure. You've all seen it
at the petro station. All of them

835
00:52:36,639 --> 00:52:38,440
are automated. Now, it's not
like you've got to chitch check it and

836
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:42,880
all that. You don't you can
just type it in anywhere from like twenty

837
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,880
six PSI, which is pounds per
square inch, and I would a lot

838
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:47,840
of it. I can't you know
it. Bar is another one. It's

839
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:52,039
another measurement, measurement of air pressure. But where you read it so you

840
00:52:52,119 --> 00:52:58,239
have loaded you know your your cousin's
a state car to the fucking axles because

841
00:52:58,239 --> 00:53:00,000
you're buying I don't know, doors
for your new house or something, and

842
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:02,679
no harm. Maybe to put a
bit extra bit of puff in it.

843
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:07,119
And how you'll know that is when
you open the driver's door. There's a

844
00:53:07,199 --> 00:53:10,480
fucking sticker that damn cannot come off. I've seen it on fucking cars that

845
00:53:10,519 --> 00:53:15,880
have been burnt. The sticker stays. You know the one I'm where the

846
00:53:15,199 --> 00:53:19,880
like the door jam, so where
the door closes, that bit that is

847
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,119
never seen when you open the door. Just look back to where the door

848
00:53:22,159 --> 00:53:25,400
locks, and you'll see a sticker
and it'll tell you the tire pressure to

849
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:30,320
have in your car correctly. And
I I don't know what the ratio bar

850
00:53:30,559 --> 00:53:34,119
is to PSI. I'm old school. I still talk. Put all the

851
00:53:34,119 --> 00:53:37,719
machines give you a PSI. Keep
an eye on it. If it is

852
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:42,840
a thing like this feels a little
spongeer gone down the whole road to MAM's

853
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,519
place. Yeah, chances are you've
got something happening in your tires, and

854
00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:51,280
don't do as I have done in
the best where you just go. I'll

855
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:53,239
just keep an eye on it,
and all you're gonna do is just where

856
00:53:53,519 --> 00:53:58,920
the hole off that tire because it's
oh, it's down eight psi today.

857
00:53:59,199 --> 00:54:02,239
I'll just put a puffle with No, there's a slow puncture somewhere, and

858
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:06,119
just get it fixed because it's gonna
You got about your tire then, and

859
00:54:06,159 --> 00:54:07,360
if you buy one tire, you
got about two tires. Trust me,

860
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:09,679
you gotta. You know, it's
like, you know, if you've got

861
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:13,400
a slow if you've got a slow
puncture, like you know, yeah,

862
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:15,199
you know what the kubby a little
layer seeping out here and there. But

863
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:19,559
like if it was flat yesterday and
you pumped it up and it's flat again

864
00:54:19,599 --> 00:54:24,159
today, that's not a slow punk. That's a fucking puncture. Yes,

865
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:28,679
yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah yeah, So I'm gonna do

866
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:30,679
let me ask you, let me
ask you. Yes, this is this

867
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:32,880
is like you know, when we're
on like you know, how flat is

868
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:37,000
my tire or how green is my
valley? All right? I'm driving along

869
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:46,440
and I noticed that sort of sound
driving with my window open, and I

870
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:52,360
know that sound, which is clearly
something stuck in my tire, just hitting

871
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:55,079
the road as it goes around and
around, and I pull over and I

872
00:54:55,079 --> 00:55:00,800
look out and there is true to
form, a screw or nail or some

873
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:06,800
such stuck in my tire. Yeah, do I pull that out? No?

874
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:10,440
You don't leave it the fuck alone. What you should be You should

875
00:55:10,559 --> 00:55:15,599
if you cannot change it, immediately
say you're on a fucking a dual carriage

876
00:55:15,639 --> 00:55:19,719
with get off at the next one, but leave it in there. Fuck

877
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:22,840
that tire. Fuck that tire because
you pull it out and it's down,

878
00:55:22,079 --> 00:55:24,519
and now you can't change the fing
because you're gonna get your ars blown off.

879
00:55:24,519 --> 00:55:30,719
I'm assuming it's your driver's side.
It's much like you see in the

880
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:32,199
movies. You're like, just pull
that fucking arrow out, and they pull

881
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:36,719
it out in the guy pisces blood
and dies. It's pretty much infection straight

882
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,880
away, I think. And you're
right, and you keep on asking me

883
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:45,119
this the stuff because with those cars, those fucking high performance cars, the

884
00:55:45,159 --> 00:55:47,800
thing that they teach their very very
fucking raw. So you end up they're

885
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:52,199
not a bit in the way that
same cars of the last say, fifteen

886
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:58,239
years are where they're taking all the
all the the visceral feelings of driving a

887
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:00,639
car. We've all driven a go
cart, do you feel everything? And

888
00:56:00,679 --> 00:56:02,719
these are just big go cards.
So you know, when I swear to

889
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:07,320
God, I knew when tires were
they still had fucking not din't long in

890
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:12,840
those fucking cars. But you still
knew they had fifty percent because literally I

891
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:15,079
could feel it in my arse cheeks. I like, oh, I literally

892
00:56:15,079 --> 00:56:19,639
moved a quarter inch around that bend
different than another time, you know,

893
00:56:20,639 --> 00:56:22,639
So you get used to the visceral
feelings. So feelings are a big thing.

894
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:25,599
Be aware of what you're fucking sitting
in. You're not sitting in your

895
00:56:25,639 --> 00:56:30,239
sitting room. You're sitting in a
fuck a honk of steel hurtling down the

896
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:35,159
road. That is a fucking you
know, it's a thing. If you

897
00:56:35,199 --> 00:56:37,000
don't respect it, it's gonna do
something, you know what I mean,

898
00:56:37,039 --> 00:56:39,199
So just keeping it. This is
it, and we're just trying to keep

899
00:56:39,199 --> 00:56:42,360
you all safe on the roads.
And like, you know, that was

900
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:45,239
the one thing that I always sort
of said to my missus when she was

901
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:50,119
driving her car. I was like, I I might drive this once in

902
00:56:50,119 --> 00:56:52,679
the very blue moon, Okay,
I might drive this once every six months

903
00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:55,920
or some such, and I'll be
driving this car. So I'm not gonna

904
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:00,960
know what's right or wrong or normal
or straight or end like that. But

905
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:05,320
you're gonna be driving this every day. Yeah, so get to know what's

906
00:57:05,639 --> 00:57:07,679
normal. So if I get into
a like a baseline, yeah, yeah,

907
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,119
should it be making that noise?
And you can tell me, yeah,

908
00:57:10,119 --> 00:57:13,960
it makes that noise every day.
It's when it makes this noise that's

909
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,760
when you want to worry. So
you gotta know what's right and what was

910
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:17,880
wrong for your car. And if
you notice that, like hey, you

911
00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:22,159
know what, as you said,
there yourself, something up with the steering

912
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:27,719
just there. That's the big perceptible
change, And I can't quite put my

913
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:31,360
finger on what it is, but
I just know there's something not quite right.

914
00:57:31,719 --> 00:57:35,400
Well what it is. Typically you'll
find if you're getting a fairly quick

915
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:38,119
puncture on the road, you'll find
the steering, even in a car that

916
00:57:38,159 --> 00:57:45,880
has like Uber Uber Save, you
know Uber damn near Ai fucking power steering.

917
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:50,800
Yeah, immediately it'll get what I
always describe it's not heavy but fat.

918
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:54,239
It's like there's a movement where you're
like, why the fuck are you

919
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:59,440
taking so much effort. You'll find
it straight away in the steering with if

920
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:01,559
you're back, if your arse goes
and you've got one that's going down quickly,

921
00:58:01,719 --> 00:58:06,079
you I need you to be aware
of your butt cheeks. They literally

922
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:08,400
will feel it out what side it's
coming from. You need to will save

923
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:10,960
your life. Your arse will save
your life. You need to know what

924
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:15,039
back in? What's why is that
in a straight line of All of a

925
00:58:15,079 --> 00:58:17,400
sudden, you know it starts back
and playing and you're like, okay,

926
00:58:17,599 --> 00:58:22,039
okay, we need we need to
have a look see here, chance start

927
00:58:22,079 --> 00:58:23,840
or something like that. And it's
the same thing with the knocks and things

928
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:28,239
like you've wrang me before. You're
like, okay, so if I put

929
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:31,519
my the clutch feels a little light
and you're like, well yeah, because

930
00:58:31,559 --> 00:58:37,400
you've been in traffic a lot and
your clutch doesn't like you anymore. It's

931
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:40,079
starting to pack its bags. It's
the divorce coming between you and your clutch,

932
00:58:40,199 --> 00:58:44,159
which is one I will leave for
all the tailtale signs. We'll talk

933
00:58:44,199 --> 00:58:46,840
about clutches and what we'll do withes
and clutches in a moment. More box

934
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:50,719
of neutrals, going back a couple
of seasons there, Yeah, yeah,

935
00:58:50,719 --> 00:58:53,280
I look like one. That's still
one of my greatest phrases of yours A

936
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:57,679
box of neutrals. But that was
that was a listener. I remember I

937
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:02,000
had a bottle come up with a
good we call that. I believe it

938
00:59:02,039 --> 00:59:06,559
was John. I believe it was
John Ryan, long term listener giant.

939
00:59:06,559 --> 00:59:10,519
I believe it was John. He's
Now if there's a guy, he would

940
00:59:10,519 --> 00:59:14,760
be be a in your you know
what I mean, in your eight team.

941
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:17,760
There's a guy right there. Ain't
nothing. If I've been driving a

942
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:22,599
lot of things, that motherfucker,
there ain't nothing. There's nothing there.

943
00:59:22,599 --> 00:59:25,519
You go, tom, Okay,
So listen. I hope everybody's at least

944
00:59:25,599 --> 00:59:29,960
learned something. I've learned plenty.
I gotta tell you. Yeah, yeah,

945
00:59:30,039 --> 00:59:32,800
there, listen, I have a
rake more. But like and these

946
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:38,519
are all I can't believe that these
things aren't taught in school. I can't

947
00:59:38,559 --> 00:59:43,239
believe that. I'm sure they are. There's some schools that have you know,

948
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:46,239
allow, do you know what I
mean? These are simplistic things that

949
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:51,880
you and other comedians have messaged me
about that. I genuinely believed, oh,

950
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:53,480
you would have picked up some other
you know, but then obviously they

951
00:59:53,559 --> 00:59:57,960
don't. And if you can get
out ahead of this, it's gonna save

952
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,800
your money. Most of what we're
talking about here tonight, he's about saving

953
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:04,719
you money, and it makes your
car safer, and who he right,

954
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:09,480
exactly makes your car safer. I
don't know when or should we put out

955
01:00:09,519 --> 01:00:13,599
a two later on in another season, or should we put you know,

956
01:00:13,719 --> 01:00:15,519
you know what I'm gonna tell you
time. Yeah, we're gonna put out

957
01:00:15,559 --> 01:00:19,960
of We're gonna put out a part
two of this next week's next week.

958
01:00:20,239 --> 01:00:22,559
We're gonna you know, like I
say, we got to hit that ten

959
01:00:22,599 --> 01:00:25,519
episodes one fucking way or another.
We're gonna get the part two. I'm

960
01:00:25,519 --> 01:00:29,519
not gonna put Yeah, we're not
gonna put out like a four hour podcast

961
01:00:29,559 --> 01:00:31,239
on your car. We could don't
fucking make us. I swear to God.

962
01:00:31,239 --> 01:00:35,000
If you look at what I've written, actually a lot of it,

963
01:00:35,039 --> 01:00:37,840
I'm like, yeah, maybe you
went overboard there, Tom, you don't

964
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:40,199
need to. This is fucking gold, baby, I'm here changes dark plugs

965
01:00:40,239 --> 01:00:45,119
and everything like yeah, maybe not
if you want to know when Part two

966
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:49,000
of Keeping between the Ditches lands.
The handiest thing you could do, my

967
01:00:49,199 --> 01:00:52,920
friends as follow us on the social
media, don't you know. You'll find

968
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:57,079
me on Twitter or indeed Instagram at
Jerry McBride, Jerry wood a g you'll

969
01:00:57,119 --> 01:01:01,320
find him at Tom Underscore, omany
or some variation of this. Look like

970
01:01:01,679 --> 01:01:04,960
you imagine, I mean, yeah, I mean, you're not gonna go

971
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,760
too far wrong. And all roads, of course lead to at Tom and

972
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:12,039
Jerry's show on Twitter, Instagram,
and who knows, I don't know,

973
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:19,320
k B. Who fucking knows.
Well, there's a hundred different threads.

974
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:22,639
That's another one. There's a hundred
of different these fucking things cropped up all

975
01:01:22,639 --> 01:01:24,639
of a sudden, but you're gonna
get us on some of them for the

976
01:01:24,679 --> 01:01:29,039
sole purpose of telling you when our
next episodes are coming out, and also

977
01:01:29,079 --> 01:01:31,199
thrown up maybe a couple of images
and pictures or some such if you don't

978
01:01:31,199 --> 01:01:35,800
know what a talk wrench looks like
or trolley Jack describing it to you,

979
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,880
or stick it up on the socials
exactly and like we said, and the

980
01:01:38,880 --> 01:01:43,000
socials gives a follow if you are
listening on whatever Spotify, like most of

981
01:01:43,039 --> 01:01:45,079
you are, please hit the subscribe
and the bell so that when it does

982
01:01:45,159 --> 01:01:50,800
arrive in you know all about it. There'll be a description underneath. Most

983
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:53,119
trust me, we're kind of on
the nose when it comes to our titles

984
01:01:53,119 --> 01:01:57,800
of show not too cryptic, so
you'll kind of get it anyway. With

985
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:00,559
this one being a course part one
of between the Ditches. Hey, if

986
01:02:00,599 --> 01:02:02,599
you want to tell everybody about it, that'd be great. If you can

987
01:02:02,599 --> 01:02:07,440
give it a five stars, even
better if you can leave a review on

988
01:02:07,559 --> 01:02:10,559
Apple. I think you can leave
review great screen grab it and tag us

989
01:02:10,559 --> 01:02:13,480
in it, so at least we
know. But more than anything, we'd

990
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:15,199
love a bit of and let a
bit of set to, to to and

991
01:02:15,239 --> 01:02:19,920
fro. If you've had experience with
a bust attire, we'd love to hear

992
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:22,920
it. If you've gone at the
aisle and it broke an knuckle, love

993
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:25,800
to hear it. We want to
hear all this or hey, lad's do

994
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:30,360
you know what I found was a
great thing? What's an absolute here to

995
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:34,159
get at? Love to hear it. That goes for all the episodes we've

996
01:02:34,159 --> 01:02:38,440
heard so far. We're very open
to being critiqued, corrected and added upon

997
01:02:39,079 --> 01:02:44,599
interacted with I think interacted that just
fucking throws something there with Jesus, please,

998
01:02:44,840 --> 01:02:49,199
please, please please let us know
that we're not just two blocks heading

999
01:02:49,239 --> 01:02:54,840
towards middle age talking to each other. And then we kind of broke my

1000
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:59,159
brain there with heading towards middle age. I've crested it, paul Ah.

1001
01:03:00,480 --> 01:03:04,360
Other than that, Okay, drive
safe everybody, Okay, me and Tom

1002
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:07,719
will be looking after you next week
with more is wonderful stuff here till then,

1003
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:08,760
Peep peepe keep it between the dishes, keep