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Adventist Radio London inspiration for the song. Good afternoon, and welcome to Talking

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Point. It is about fifteen minutes
past the hour of seven five o'clock.

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Sorry, and I truly hope that
you're enjoying the sunshine and you've had a

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wonderful Sabbath, a wonderful Saturday,
and you're locked in, locked in for

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the next two hours for our program
where we are celebrating our fathers and incidentally

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the father on the panel this Pedro. We'll be taking the lead today.

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It's I'm not sure how we're gonna
explain it, but you're taking the lead

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from Halifax, Pedro, so take
it away. Good afternoon, everyone,

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Welcome to Talking Point. I'm joined
by Angela again. Was then in the

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first place? Uh, both the
ladies, you have not only decided that

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I was going to do this today, I was not like that, you

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know, um to what's the word
enthusiastic doing? Because you know, I

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would like to stay in the background. But it's cool, I mean,

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well, is it cool? It
is cool? Yes, it's cool.

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It's cool. I am I am
the father on the board, so you

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know I have to, you know, step up sometimes as men have to

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do sometimes eteed, eteed and petrol. You do you do your program as

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well your podcast on it which is
aired on Do you do it live on

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a Sunday as well or is it
just aired on a Sunday? Okay?

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Podcast and every players played on Sundays
at four pm? Yes? So um,

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I guy, who's after? But
yeah, okay, So here we

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are today. I just want to
as we get started, So this is

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father dayone, thank everybody for joining
us. We're gonna have a couple of

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interviews hopefully coming up by two gentlemen
or fathers obviously, and we're going to

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discuss today thoughts. To join is
to discuss today fatherhood, the different ins

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and outs, the different pros and
cons, things that fathers go through,

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the good and the bad, dealing
with children, dealing with their spouse,

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their partner, um and just getting
a field because as I was looking up

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some things, you know, Father's
Day is not really celebrated or that great,

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Like it don't feel like Father's Day
for me personally. Have three kids

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in June, so the birthdays that
would take my Father's Day. Wow,

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I didn't even know that. I
have Sky on the eighteenth, No Sky

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on the fifteenth, two years of
twenty third. And then I have my

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other son, Johannay, who you
met on talking Point before we did the

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Um, he's twenty six and he's
June two six. So I have three.

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So it's like you have three Father's
Day gifts special delivery. Yeah,

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but Father's Day come and go,
and I don't get no gift. I

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hear you, hear you know.
But it's that that is the Yeah,

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Unfortunately that's the case. And statistics
shows, you know, card sales,

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gift sales show that the mothers are
the mothers are celebrated more or gifted more.

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I don't know, Um, but
you got two days the mothers.

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The mothers get two days in a
year. You get the UK and you

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get the US. Oh there you
go. We're special patron. And and

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yeah, I'm not I'm not disputing
that at all anywhere else, not on

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a different day. Apparently it seems
to be global. Father's Day in the

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US in the UK is the same
day. Okay, So I mean,

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you know it is what it is. Happy Father's Day, patron. I'm

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not gonna complain, I will digress, but otherwise for that, yeah,

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I mean, you know, Father's
day, we should celebrate it better because

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father's an introdu important part of the
family process in the sense of, you

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know, the mothers play a big
part, but the fathers play a big

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part two, especially with the children, especially in keeping control. Well when

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I say control, keeping in line
the family values, the different things that

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go on in a family or in
any relationship. You know, we carry

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a lot of responsibility that people don't
like to give us credit for, and

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the things like just keeping things in
line in the family, like arguments and

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disagreements sometimes, you know, and
I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this.

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We do get emotional, but some
some women do get a little emotional

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when the children act up. They
get a little emotional where they're like they

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going off. And so in me
personally, my wife will get emotional.

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I say that because she does,
and I had to be like, okay,

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take a breath, and then I
have to kind of like mediate between

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the children and the wife, like
you know, let's listen, let's calm

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down, and let's get this,
you know, sorted out. So we

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have a part to play that you
know that is important as being a father.

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Yeah, So I just think that
we need to recognize that in a

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good way. I think that's why
for me, that's God's ideal. You

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know, mothers and fathers complimenting each
other, having their own strength and their

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own you know, weaknesses, and
being able to do it together and do

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it successfully. So that that for
me is the master plan. Obviously we

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know that because of sin, it
doesn't always follow that plan. But yes,

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there's nothing like I mean, just
quickly before, I mean, we

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digress maybe or we're going ahead of
ourselves. But um, when my when

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my dad comes in the house or
came in the house and I heard his

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voice, it was all standard to
me. You know, my mom could

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be screaming and shouting and trying to
get me to do whatever she wanted me

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to do. But the moment Dad
came in, um and spoke, then

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right, okay, it's time to
it's time to behave. And she used

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to always lament about it. You
know, I don't understand what it is,

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but that that that masculine voice,
perhaps, um, that made the

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difference in in in the household.
So yeah, that's true. I think

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it's like Daddy's home. Yes,
like Daddy. They don't do Mimmy's home.

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They do daddy. You know,
like anybody comes and well, my

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kids they come and they'll say good
morning or get get good evening. Um

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they always like are you gonna be
home early from work? You know,

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they always asking like those questions.
UM, so yeah, you're write in

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that sense. I think that's where
God intended for us too as a father

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too, to be that rock in
the family too. Then and then everybody

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else kind of um helps we all
support each other, you know, like

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my wife is not it is not
underneath me. She's equal to me.

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But when it comes to the last, when it comes to the kids acting

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or something, she's the first thing. She's always gonna says, act action

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mother. And I would say,
I'm gonna talk to your mother. And

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I know that some people are not
gonna like me saying that, but that's

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the way it works in my family, Like I'm gonna talk to your mother,

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and then we will decide, and
then we make it, you know,

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we make a decision that it's equal
to what we think is best for

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the children. But sometimes yes,
I will have the final say, and

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sometimes I step back and let my
wife has the final say, because like

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when it comes to girls, I'm
not a girl. I'm a man,

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so so when it comes to girls, I'll refer to my wife to make

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the decision. But what it is
best because she has been a girl before.

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So I'm not I'm not gonna act
like I'm not gonna be like,

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oh, I'm you know, no, she can't do this or she can't

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do that. I'm gonna say,
what do you think because you know better

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what is gonna be the outcome that
I will. So it was just working

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with each other and being you know, fair and making decisions together. I

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think that's the way we should.
Let's see. Um. And to you

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you there quiet for a change to
jump in. You know, I was

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just thinking about you were saying and
how it's going to go back to the

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whole idea of celebrating Father's Day.
Um. And it's interesting to kind of

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think as you were saying that actually
it seems to be not the most common

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of celebrations as it were comparison.
But as I was doing a bit of

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research about it, inspiration for Father's
Day came about. For Mother's Day,

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I guess, you know, people
are celebrating Mother's and I think it was

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first celebrated I think in nineteen tech
actually in the US. Interestingly the day

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around the world. Um, I
said, you know, so it was.

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But it's interesting that actually Mother's Day
was the inspiration for that, you

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know, the idea that you are
going to honor your father's in the same

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way that weeds celebrating wollien Um.
But I do get that it's probably not

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as commercialized that the least holiday or
Yeah, there's definitely in the US that

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is. I'm all about the UK, but the US is definitely the least

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Yeah, But I don't think it's
interestingly, you know, I guess there's

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probably a lot more I was gonna
say money to be made, you know,

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because I say, for instance,
I can imagine, you know,

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for Mother's Day often, you know, florists must do big business on that

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day. Some I'm sure that's not
quite the same for men, although I'm

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sure some men would love to receive
flowers, maybe their plant guys, that

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kind of thing, so, you
know, but I can imagine, you

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know, a bunch of flowers are
not necessarily and even cards it don't cost

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much about a tie or a pair
of socks, because that's what we give.

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We don't get flowers, we get
a tie, a card and maybe

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some socks or a sock one or
the other. Petro can I just interject

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an asks, then would you appreciate
flowers on a card on my Father's Day?

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Would that be something I'm you see, because I don't think that's what

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I'm not there you go, there, you go? Yeah, but how

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about some nice cologne? How about
some nice you know shops? Um say,

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I'm more like, you know,
hygiene, So how about some nice

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shower, jail, you know,
something that I can use? So before

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we go, before we go today, we've got to give a list of

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gift ideas. It sounds like,
um for for our fathers to yea something

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that's going to pass away. Yes, practically, but I guess we're an

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agreement that actually the idea of celebrating
the fathers, And I mean for me,

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I look at that in terms of
widening up the net a bit more

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so. It's not just men who
have biological children. I'm thinking of father's

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father figures or somebody who you know, he plays that role maybe, but

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also uncle's lamp, the fathers,
you know men. I think, yeah,

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you know, he played that role. I'd like to kind of widen

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that net out of the face.
And I know, I know we're going

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to get controversial here, but I
also salute the women on Father's Day who

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try to bridge the gap. Um. Obviously it's not it's not it's not

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easy to do one maybe not,
it's never impossible. But I know I'm

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going to get controversial, but I
do because when we can't say that would

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being a woman to to to our
children on Mother's Day? Oh, I

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say it. I say, I
understand where you're coming from, understand when

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you're coming from. But I just
think that's a disservice to men old women

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that opposite on because you you,
As I said earlier, when I refer

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to something about my daughter, I
step back and let my wife be the

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one to make the decision because she
was a girl. But she's there,

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she's understand that. I understand that. I understand that. What I'm saying

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is that I just don't. I
just don't like when they say to the

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woman, you know, happy Father's
Day, because you're not. You know,

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the woman's not a man, the
woman a woman. Indeed, I

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agree that you know the woman is
a woman. I never I never liked

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that. I never liked that and
not but I do get where you're coming

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from, because I know of I
know you, so I know where you're

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coming from. But I just never
liked that, and me, for me,

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I never liked that because it's just
let let them, let the fathers

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get their day, let the father
be the father, let the mother be

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the mother as well. And twenties
and thirties they were trying to scrap the

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idea of mothers and fathers. Say, I just haven't that kind of unified

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parents. Whether you think that would
be much BECI ideas you kind of celebrating

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equally. And you know, if
you have the Unbrell's have parents, that

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would incompass whoever is looking after You
could say, whoever's looking after children or

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who is that caregiver? So that
could be a way maybe solving that dilever.

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Maybe because people I think in you
know, the idea that somebody's playing

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that role or has taken on that
role playing it, has taken on that

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role. Um, it's real,
take it it is, Yeah, and

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often you know they maybe playing both
parts, you know, both roles,

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I should say. So, yeah, there's lots to be said, But

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you know you made a point earlier, Angela. You made a point earlier

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about other men playing father roles,
uncles, UM, grandparents, UM,

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even the elder you know, other
men taking the manta of being a father

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figure to two other children or two
two people. Right, So if you're

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the mother and you a single parent
and your mother, you know, I'm

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sure, go and see if you
can find a male role model that could

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then be that father figure, and
then they could be you understand, they

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could be the f And I'm not
saying it's easy, because it's some women

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are not going to be to find
that to be able to They're not gonna

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be able to trust other men or
trust, you know, because they may

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be going through some issues that or
some problem you know, in their life,

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so they're not you know, to
trustworthy of men. So I do

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understand that point. But I get
a male that could be a role model

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that can help you to kind of
because it's only certain, it's only certain.

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I strung believe that strong believe that
is only only a certain point that

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a woman can can bring a male
up and then at some point he needs

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a male figure in his life to
make him be a man. I agree,

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I agree, you know what this
son, You can raise a son

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up to a certain point. But
once you hit a certain year, a

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certain time frame, you got to
have a man. Hell that can that

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can teach a man, a man, a young male how to be a

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man, because a woman can't teach. And that's and you know what,

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and that's where the devil I'm about
to go there. This is where the

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devil wants this because he wants the
female to continue to raise the young man,

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and then the young man starts to
have feminine ways and masculatedly issues.

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And yes, I'm going there because
if you yes, no, no,

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no, no, no, that's
fine, that's fine. I'm actually when

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you're done, I'm going to actually
open up the debate. That's a very

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good point. So maybe it asks
our listeners to come in on, but

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go on, no, no,
no, I'm not not you know,

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and then they have that masculine and
it even faces for women because if a

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male is raising a woman and at
a certain point she don't have that feminine

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you know, into action, she
becomes more masculine. So I'm going both

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ways. It goes both ways.
I'm not just being towards women, also

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being towards mentor. It goes both
ways. Yeah, so we got We

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gotta be able to get a role
model or somebody that can can teach our

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children to be to be what they
you know, male or female as they

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as because you can. When you
hit that certain point is you got to

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you gotta tell your hardest to do
so well. I'm speaking from the perspective

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of being a single mother, and
it's not always easy to have that input,

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um, because other people have lives
and have their own dynamics and their

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own own own situations. So to
get someone to raise your child as their

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own without you know, any strings
attaches is slim. But and I get

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what you're saying as well. But
I know that because I'm not cut you

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up, not necessarily. I'm not
saying that you have to raise the child.

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I'm saying just okay, I'm gonna
I've been married three times and in

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that time I had I had one
child who was um going through issues.

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I was not there for that child. So it's one of my two older

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childs. And I always say this
about my ex wife. The one thing

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I would say about my ex wife
that she did when he started going through

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those issues, she took him to
the pastor she took him to an elder

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day wasn't like in his life every
day. But she just asked them to

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talk to him when he came to
church, give him a call throughout the

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week, you know, and just
encourage him and work with him, and

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just and just you know, because
some of the things she couldn't understand,

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you understand. And so that he
he started to get that role model of

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our father because I wasn't there and
for other reasons, for reasons that was

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beyond my control, because I wanted
to be there. But he still got

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the father vote. So when he
got older, he was he was more

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he was more in tune with being
a male and was able to work through

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some of the issues that he was
having growing up as a teenager and the

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anger that he was presenting and the
anger that he was feeling. So that's

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what it is possible if you really, if you really look at it.

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And and I come from a single
mother until hours fourteen fifteen, then my

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mother met my stepfather, So I
know that it is possible. It's not

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easy, but you can. You
can do. It's just it's just hard

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work. It's like like marriage is
hard work, is always something it's not

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easy. It's hard work. Yeah, well, well we'll leave it there

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because I do actually think that this
is a good debate to bring our listeners

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in on. I'm hoping that they
will, and I'm giving the details at

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studio at Adventist Radio dot London,
or you can text on eight triple to

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eight Hope space and then give your
message or your viewpoint. Do you think

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that, as Pedro tell us,
that there comes a point where as a

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single mom, that you have to
get a man's input and male's input in

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raising a son, or do you
think that they are women the world over

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who have done it successfully on their
own. And that's that's a debate we're

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discussing at the minute. But there
is so much more to fatherhood and we

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don't want to um sort of get
stuck on this on this particular point.

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And as Angela sort of said,
and what led to the conversation is that

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it in my mind, it takes
a village. And that's how how I

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feel about it. It's it's not
one person, it's not even one family.

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You may have mom and dad present
in the room and there still needs

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to be pastor's input or or you
know, teacher's input and etcetera. Etcetera.

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Particularly when us, as as moms
and dads are only but human and

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we don't get it right. Some
of us very really get it right.

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Um and you know there requires a
full set of hands to really get the

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job done properly. But today we
want to celebrate the men who are present.

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You know, whether they're doing it
well or not, or whether you

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know whether they're doing it with help
or not. We absolutely want to celebrate

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them. Let me pasure if you
don't mind, let me stick a pin

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here and we'll play a song.
It's Father Knows Best. It's by Kirk

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Franklin, and when we're back,
we can take the conversation further. See,

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it's important to understand that just because
God allows things that may not be

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good to us, does not mean
that it's not good for us. Ye

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See, a parent fails if the
child never learns how to fly. I

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hope i'm talking to somebody today.
I see how my life could have gone.

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Every time you'll be late my dreams. You are so capting me all

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the times you make this strong.
Can see that you have a play that

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I won't understanding, even when I
know my own way. You allow my

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destate. But still hold on to
my head. Thank you. That's what

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people bar. Student, I would
expend nothing less from you are right understand

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why bring to do could take a
book in my heart and sway he's learning

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on me. I just have one
requestion. Ask me, I don't ever

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let me go harry one more time. I didn't feel that it won't be

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long. Ye see could help.
When I look out on my shoulder,

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I remember time you feel my dream
taking me all the time to maaze.

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You even had a plan before time
began. Come can't see that you have

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a plan that out always understanding when
I go to for your moment back,

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even when I call my away,
you allow my mistakes but still hold on

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to far. I like this form
right here, that's what you far.

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That's where your fathers do the next
less from somebody needs to know sorr so

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right understand why I don't know whe
you could dreat you see when I can't

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sink so whatever you please. I
have one request, and don't ever let

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me go. Oh please don't ever
let me go. Keep me free your

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heart cheating star, can your head? Oh find me the bees so d

296
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see a hell of time they always
come through. Stand you see, welcome

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back to Talking Point. Everybody,
thanks for joining us. We're going to

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change a little gears here. We're
gonna talk to the lady is a little

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bit an acting about their fathers and
growing up with their fathers and how it

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was for them, and well it
is their idea of fatherhood. So I

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would just throw it to Angela and
let her give us a little input on

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her m. I mean, it's
an interesting one. It's been interesting because

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i'd almost terrible, but yeah,
growing up here with my dad, seeing

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him as a really strong character,
and kind of preface that my dad passed

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00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:33.759
away when I was twenty twenty four, twenty five. So the reality is,

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and I've kind of been looking back
at that. I think every father's

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it comes up. I sort of
think I've lived half of my life without

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my dad being around, and you
know, many people could be in a

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similar situation. Either fathers are presents
or they've lost them. So you know,

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my heart goes out, and you
know, we remembering, we remembering

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fathers and celebrating, so, you
know, remembering those who are no longer

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with us. But you know,
I remember my dad being a very strong

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character, you know, very principled, you know, his love of he

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was a lover of God, was
very active in the church. You know,

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he worked in a hospital, so
he continer trained as a nurse,

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came out from Jamaica, and you
know, he was one of those people

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who always cared for people and was
always there to help people. And I

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kind of think, you know,
between me and my sisters, I think

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we've taken quite a lot of his
characteristics and his qualities on. You know,

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my dad would help anybody. And
I kind of look back and I

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think, you know, we've had
lodgers and the kind of random people,

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00:27:36.079 --> 00:27:38.039
and I look back and I think, how was that person living in living

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with us? You know, we've
had this elderly gentleman called miss and I'm

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00:27:45.599 --> 00:27:48.599
want to say, mister Woolley,
this is a very very long time.

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I want to look back. I
think, considering we are black Caribbean family,

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family from Jamaica, I think he
was either Scottish or Irish. I

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think I really don't remember. I
can't. I look back and I think

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00:28:02.480 --> 00:28:04.279
I can't remember what the dynamics were, how that even came about. But

329
00:28:04.400 --> 00:28:08.480
this man lived with us for a
while and it was you know, it

330
00:28:08.599 --> 00:28:11.400
was a very interesting character on so
on, so many liffent levels. But

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you know, my dad obviously opened
up our house to be able to you

332
00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:18.279
know, look after this person and
what have you. And I think that

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was kind of vindicative of the sort
of person that he was. You know,

334
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he would help anybody, and he
really encouraged us as children to do

335
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things. You know, I was
as many families are. You know,

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your parents are there to lead,
and you know they want to encourage you

337
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to do well at school and to
do the best that you can do.

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And my dad was always that you
know, you can achieve things. You

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00:28:41.880 --> 00:28:45.440
may have to put in one hundred
and ten percent, etc. But you

340
00:28:45.559 --> 00:28:48.759
know, there was no kinds of
limits to try things. So we went

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on holidays, we went I grew
up camping and going to different places.

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And if we ever went to the
beach, we were going into the water.

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You know, you weren't just going
to sit on the sides and just

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paddle. I hope you were going
writing and you were going to go swimming.

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You know, so those kind of
things. I kind of look back

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00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:08.559
and I think, you know,
very fondly, um, you know,

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00:29:10.200 --> 00:29:14.599
it was just yeah, he was
very strict at times, or maybe I

348
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:19.759
was just really naughty, so I
just got into trouble, but it was

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equally very fair, and I just
think, you know, I look back

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and I think one of the things
when he when my dad got sick,

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he sadly passed. He had cancer, you know, passed away, and

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for me, seeing somebody change from
a really strong person to a really frail

353
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person like that really threw me completely
because you sort of see that sort of

354
00:29:37.720 --> 00:29:41.200
change there. But throughout it's all, you know, his faith in God

355
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never really wavered. You know,
he was kind of okay, this is

356
00:29:45.920 --> 00:29:49.279
what's happening to me. You know, there's a reason for everything. You

357
00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:53.880
know, he was still he could
still minister two people even throughout his sickness.

358
00:29:56.119 --> 00:29:59.880
I remember, you know, we
were obviously I'm the eldest with my

359
00:30:00.039 --> 00:30:03.880
sisters, and you know, we're
young and really to sort of think,

360
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:07.519
you know, we're losing somebody what's
closer to us. And I always remember

361
00:30:08.960 --> 00:30:11.039
that we kind of got the call
one day to say, no, he's

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gonna he's not gonna be around much
longer. And I remember sort of,

363
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you know, we spent a lot
of time he was in hospital at this

364
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point, and I remember praying,
you know, please God, I've got

365
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:22.640
to be able to deal with this
in some way. And I remember being

366
00:30:22.759 --> 00:30:26.000
at the place and kind of,
you know, we're sitting by his bed,

367
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I was holding his hand, and
I fell asleep and I had this

368
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dream and his dream was kind of
was like, you know what, it's

369
00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:34.480
gonna be okay, You'll be fine. And I remember my I was pide

370
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:37.240
of my my dad's hand. I
felt a sort of slipping away, but

371
00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:41.119
it was almost like it's going to
be fine. Somebody did eventually pass,

372
00:30:41.440 --> 00:30:45.160
you know, as devastating as it
was, there was kind of a piece

373
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that I thought, Okay, I
kind of accepted made peace with that,

374
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and you know, I hope that
his legacy will go on through you know,

375
00:30:53.079 --> 00:30:56.720
myself, my sisters and the things
that we do. We can still

376
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be representatives of him. And he
has taught us and ultimately, you know,

377
00:31:02.319 --> 00:31:04.799
given God all the glory, you
know, for the lessons that he's

378
00:31:04.799 --> 00:31:07.240
taught us. And I'd like to
think, you know, even though our

379
00:31:07.319 --> 00:31:11.519
life's path may have gone different from
maybe what he might have wanted or expected,

380
00:31:11.039 --> 00:31:15.400
I still think he'd be very proud
of us, or that think you'd

381
00:31:15.400 --> 00:31:18.720
be very proud of me the sort
of person I've become, And I sometimes

382
00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:22.079
look back and I think I wonder
what life would have been like had he

383
00:31:22.240 --> 00:31:26.240
been around. What more could I
have learned from him? What more could

384
00:31:26.279 --> 00:31:30.359
he have taught me? You know? But I think within the short time

385
00:31:30.519 --> 00:31:34.839
that I had my dad there that
I think I learned enough to say,

386
00:31:34.960 --> 00:31:38.599
you know, that was a really
good foundation and I could learn a lot.

387
00:31:38.759 --> 00:31:44.039
So, you know, I think
one of the things I think I

388
00:31:44.119 --> 00:31:49.599
mentioned legacy. Sometimes we don't almost
recognize some people don't look at things in

389
00:31:49.799 --> 00:31:53.359
terms of how much of an impact
we can have on people. And I

390
00:31:53.440 --> 00:31:56.640
think wherever we are in life and
the opportunities that we have, one of

391
00:31:56.680 --> 00:32:00.599
the key things is that you can
make a difference. You know. My

392
00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:05.880
dad was a strong believer in being
a representative of God and trying to get

393
00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:08.759
people to sort of see you know, God through him, so, you

394
00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:13.640
know, leaving a legacy which hopefully
we can continue with there. So you

395
00:32:13.680 --> 00:32:16.039
know, there's probably loads of memories. Like I said, I mean,

396
00:32:16.279 --> 00:32:20.319
I had a prety good relationship with
my dad that we clutched at some points,

397
00:32:20.359 --> 00:32:22.400
but I think we both we had
quite strong characters, which I probably

398
00:32:22.440 --> 00:32:25.519
took out to him as well.
You know, he liked a good debate,

399
00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:29.960
he liked to speak, you know. So there's loads of qualities that

400
00:32:29.960 --> 00:32:32.920
I think I've taken from him.
My sister, who I know was on

401
00:32:32.960 --> 00:32:36.960
the show fee weeks back. I
think she was probably more of a daddy's

402
00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:42.799
girl than I was. But you
know, yeah, still, yeah,

403
00:32:42.839 --> 00:32:46.400
I have very fond of memories and
are times kind of do forget. I

404
00:32:46.440 --> 00:32:51.640
feel like I've forgotten a loss about
him at times. But I come across

405
00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:54.000
pictures, you know, and one
thing I think I did take off my

406
00:32:54.079 --> 00:32:58.039
dad, though I'm going to end
here. I found a picture of him

407
00:32:58.079 --> 00:33:02.000
on a motorbike, which I was
like, oh, who knew, But

408
00:33:02.200 --> 00:33:06.720
years later that's something that I used
to do. Yes, I used to

409
00:33:06.799 --> 00:33:14.839
ride a motorbikes. All is so
full of surprises. This is nothing you

410
00:33:14.960 --> 00:33:19.559
have not done. Well, I'm
sure it was just like, oh my

411
00:33:19.640 --> 00:33:22.880
goodness, look at that. I
had no idea that's something that he did.

412
00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:25.200
And then many years later I did
the same as well. So you

413
00:33:25.279 --> 00:33:28.680
know, I think there's probably a
level of bravery there as well, and

414
00:33:28.839 --> 00:33:32.200
just you know, fearlessness and what
have you. So so yeah, so

415
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:37.400
so you know, um, rest
of every lasting peace to my dad and

416
00:33:37.559 --> 00:33:43.079
to all those other fathers out there
who may not be around them still in

417
00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:45.160
that way. So yeah, so
that's a little bit a bit of mine

418
00:33:45.319 --> 00:33:51.400
about you, Zenya. I'm just
thinking as you just as you started to

419
00:33:52.319 --> 00:33:54.119
sort of describe your dad, in
my head, I was thinking that apple

420
00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:59.119
didn't fall very far from the tree. And as you continued to speak,

421
00:33:59.240 --> 00:34:04.599
you know you you're uh confessed that
or or stated that that you were very

422
00:34:04.680 --> 00:34:09.760
much like your dad when you talk
about strong willed and caring and all that.

423
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:15.119
I can see that, having not
met him, that, yeah,

424
00:34:15.400 --> 00:34:21.119
that describes you. A signal from
me, I'm sorry, I wanted to

425
00:34:21.159 --> 00:34:23.400
say. Listening to you, I
think you said that even though it's only

426
00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:25.639
half your life, it seemed like
the other half you still had him in

427
00:34:25.679 --> 00:34:30.679
your heart, so you still were
like following what he taught you for the

428
00:34:30.760 --> 00:34:34.400
first twenty five years of your life. For me personally, that's that's the

429
00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:37.920
way I took it, because you
seem to like just the way you talked

430
00:34:37.920 --> 00:34:42.199
about him and just the way you
brought him up. You can't everything you

431
00:34:42.360 --> 00:34:45.159
do, just like zen you said, just meeting you for the last couple

432
00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:50.000
of years. I could definitely see
him in you, because that's definitely yeah,

433
00:34:50.280 --> 00:34:52.960
like the strong will you know,
stand your ground, you know kind

434
00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:57.760
of yeah, like you know you, you and you and like you're not

435
00:34:57.880 --> 00:35:00.480
afraid to mix it up, like
you know, they have a debate or

436
00:35:00.639 --> 00:35:05.400
having a disagreement and then you know, make your point and then have another

437
00:35:05.400 --> 00:35:07.519
present make it. But it's just
the way you you present yourself. Yeah,

438
00:35:07.519 --> 00:35:13.239
I can see him. I could
see that him in you from just

439
00:35:13.639 --> 00:35:15.840
from just what you just said.
You know. So I think for the

440
00:35:15.920 --> 00:35:19.599
last twenty five years you may not
have been here, but he's he's he's

441
00:35:19.679 --> 00:35:23.880
in you because you definitely present him
do your actions. Yeah, but I

442
00:35:24.039 --> 00:35:27.119
try, and I kind of you
know, there's there as many times,

443
00:35:27.119 --> 00:35:30.199
as much as it it's all great
that we clashed a lot, you know,

444
00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:32.679
and it was probably my life is
you know, as many people's loves

445
00:35:32.719 --> 00:35:36.480
have gone up and down. And
there was a point where I'm sure he

446
00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:39.119
disapproved of every choice that I was
making and everything that was doing, but

447
00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:44.519
you know what the foundation was there, and you know, somehow I met

448
00:35:44.599 --> 00:35:47.199
you know, I've made my way
back as it were, you know,

449
00:35:47.559 --> 00:35:51.159
and it's interesting because I remember I
have a letter that he wrote me,

450
00:35:51.800 --> 00:35:53.159
and I read it now when I
just think, you know, actually,

451
00:35:53.320 --> 00:35:55.800
you know all the things he said, he said it out of love and

452
00:35:55.920 --> 00:36:00.239
out of care, and I think
at the time it made me really mad.

453
00:36:00.559 --> 00:36:02.199
But I look back at it and
I think, yeah, you know,

454
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:07.880
Father's often sometimes they say Father's no
best. We could debate that,

455
00:36:07.960 --> 00:36:10.760
I'm sure for years to come back. You know, in some respects he

456
00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:14.360
had a lot to say that was
completely right, and I just had to

457
00:36:14.440 --> 00:36:17.559
find my way and he always loved
me for that, and I know we'll

458
00:36:17.639 --> 00:36:21.159
go on to that. You know, I was minded stare the prod Father

459
00:36:21.280 --> 00:36:24.480
the prodigals are you know, somebody
who said he's going to love you no

460
00:36:24.639 --> 00:36:30.400
matter what, and even though you
may make mistakes, she may fool,

461
00:36:30.760 --> 00:36:32.719
it's still there to kind of pick
you up and you know, put you

462
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:37.079
back on the right past sort of
things. So, yeah, it's funny

463
00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:40.079
you said that because I tell my
children that all the time. I tell

464
00:36:40.239 --> 00:36:45.360
my rather to be mad at me, then then then to go out there

465
00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:49.320
and make a mistake, because my
job is to protect them and to tell

466
00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:51.159
them, and I'm gonna tell them
what they need to hear now what they

467
00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:52.800
want to hear. And I tell
them that when they get older, they're

468
00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:55.880
going to look back and so you
know what my dad was actually telling me

469
00:36:57.000 --> 00:36:59.760
the right thing. They don't see
it now because they're teen it, you

470
00:36:59.840 --> 00:37:02.719
know. Now, I got two
preteens or two teenagers and one almost there.

471
00:37:04.119 --> 00:37:06.320
But they don't see it now.
But when they get older, they're

472
00:37:06.360 --> 00:37:09.079
gonna say, Okay, you know, so your fathers knew what he was

473
00:37:09.159 --> 00:37:13.199
doing when he was telling you,
even when you guys clashed, you know

474
00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:15.159
that when you got older, you
was gonna sit back and say, you

475
00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:20.920
know what, he was absolutely right. It was absolutely everything he said and

476
00:37:21.039 --> 00:37:23.960
told me happened. So you know
he did the right thing bout doing that

477
00:37:24.000 --> 00:37:28.800
because I know I do that with
my children now. Yeah, n yeah,

478
00:37:29.159 --> 00:37:31.519
we didn't get job. I'm laughing
because I know if I say it,

479
00:37:31.599 --> 00:37:35.800
I'm gonna get into another debate with
you, Petro. But I've got

480
00:37:35.920 --> 00:37:44.519
to say it because you don't mean
but there are times when father's arm you

481
00:37:44.639 --> 00:37:47.119
know, I just say that I'm
right all the time. No, no,

482
00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:51.159
no, I'm just talking about Yeah, I know what you mean,

483
00:37:51.239 --> 00:37:52.840
but you know, just something because
you know, when they want to do

484
00:37:52.960 --> 00:37:57.800
something you like, no or you
know, they they want to go down

485
00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:00.039
this path for like, you know, my son, he's fifteen, so

486
00:38:00.159 --> 00:38:01.719
now he wants to do things and
I'm like, you got to hold off

487
00:38:01.760 --> 00:38:05.840
and wait, and then he goes
to sneak behind my back and does it

488
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:07.440
anyway, and he comes back and
said, you know what that you at

489
00:38:07.480 --> 00:38:10.400
that? Yeah, that's what I
mean, you know, and that I'm

490
00:38:10.400 --> 00:38:15.119
not I'm never trust me. I'm
far from perfect and I'm far from right.

491
00:38:15.400 --> 00:38:20.119
I'm just talking about as we see
I children, I think sometimes forget

492
00:38:20.159 --> 00:38:25.440
that we grew up as as children. Yeah you just you came saying is

493
00:38:25.480 --> 00:38:31.039
you come big? I didn't come
bigger? But no. So we try

494
00:38:31.119 --> 00:38:35.719
to teach our children and as as
my job as a father, I'm trying

495
00:38:35.719 --> 00:38:40.039
to teach them the things that I
did not have. So I'm trying to

496
00:38:40.079 --> 00:38:44.400
teach them the things I didn't have
as a child. And they don't see

497
00:38:44.440 --> 00:38:46.039
that. So they get mad when
they think I'm trying to be mean or

498
00:38:46.119 --> 00:38:50.360
that I'm trying to be you know, destructive to what's what their plan is

499
00:38:50.480 --> 00:38:53.519
trying to get? And like Angel
will say, you know you you get

500
00:38:53.599 --> 00:38:58.199
you clash, but when when when
the chips are down and later on in

501
00:38:58.320 --> 00:39:00.800
life, you know, well quick, there was a phrase the guy said,

502
00:39:01.000 --> 00:39:07.039
children turned thirteen, they think parents
are They think fathers and mothers are

503
00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:09.960
dumb. But by on time they
hit twenty four, then they start realizing

504
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:15.559
that they're actually pretty smart. Like
children go through that phrase of where they

505
00:39:15.679 --> 00:39:16.559
you know, they think they know
it at all, and then when they

506
00:39:16.599 --> 00:39:19.599
get older they didn't like, wait
a minute, I didn't know at all

507
00:39:19.639 --> 00:39:22.480
at all, you know, So
that's what I was really, you know,

508
00:39:22.760 --> 00:39:24.960
kind of inferring, yes, and
I understood. I was just I

509
00:39:25.119 --> 00:39:30.559
was just tossing something into the ring. And then you know, there is

510
00:39:30.639 --> 00:39:36.639
also that we we we can try
as as as we might, um,

511
00:39:36.679 --> 00:39:39.519
and of course with God's help to
protect them and to guide them, but

512
00:39:39.960 --> 00:39:44.760
we also have to allow them to
make some mistakes. You know. You

513
00:39:44.920 --> 00:39:49.320
you you've got to navigate which ones
those are, because some are more detrimental

514
00:39:49.400 --> 00:39:52.440
than others. But um, it's
only that way that that they will learn

515
00:39:52.679 --> 00:39:57.079
after try the narrow and understanding.
Oh yeah, Daddy did say that,

516
00:39:57.639 --> 00:40:00.280
and he was right. So next
time he said something, then I'll pay

517
00:40:00.360 --> 00:40:04.119
more attention and that kind of thing, because we can't, but we would

518
00:40:04.159 --> 00:40:07.960
want to keep them in the bubble. And you know, children listen to

519
00:40:08.039 --> 00:40:19.079
anything we say, so I can
testify I don't do it. They don't

520
00:40:19.119 --> 00:40:23.400
do it, Oh trust me.
Yeah, and pushing the boundaries life.

521
00:40:23.440 --> 00:40:30.440
Oh goody realized, Oh my good
I should have Yeah. No, no,

522
00:40:30.599 --> 00:40:32.039
that don't work. Okay, good. So it's not just my house

523
00:40:32.079 --> 00:40:40.679
all right, good? Good to
check it. Oh yeah, oh yeah,

524
00:40:45.960 --> 00:40:49.519
I believe that. I believe that. Um yeah, my dad,

525
00:40:50.159 --> 00:40:54.480
Um, he's still here, perhaps
listening, so happy fathers say, Dad,

526
00:40:55.239 --> 00:41:00.199
Um, he's in the Caribbean.
I don't think you'll ever live.

527
00:41:00.480 --> 00:41:02.960
You know, he's he's rooted and
grounded down there. Um. In fact,

528
00:41:04.400 --> 00:41:07.199
I was teasing him the other day. A program was on. I

529
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:12.239
believe it was BBC or ITV.
I'm not sure. I caught it on

530
00:41:12.440 --> 00:41:19.119
on YouTube, but it was on
and it was a Buried Cities. It

531
00:41:19.400 --> 00:41:23.599
was a documentary about mons Rat,
which is where I'm from. And um,

532
00:41:24.039 --> 00:41:30.079
one of the persons that was in
that um documentary was my dad.

533
00:41:30.199 --> 00:41:32.920
He was but and I teased him
the other day and I said, I've

534
00:41:32.920 --> 00:41:37.440
got to get him on the show
because his story is just it's when I

535
00:41:37.519 --> 00:41:39.599
heard it again. I thought,
my gosh, I didn't remember that.

536
00:41:39.679 --> 00:41:44.119
I didn't know that. What what
what? Um? So so yeah,

537
00:41:44.119 --> 00:41:46.440
I'll definitely bring him on one time. And he says I can't afford him

538
00:41:46.440 --> 00:41:54.199
obviously, Um, but he I
mean, if he didn't leave Monstra after

539
00:41:54.280 --> 00:41:58.840
that, he's never leaving. Um. But and he also has a fear

540
00:41:58.840 --> 00:42:00.519
of flying, so he he wants
me to come and get him. But

541
00:42:00.679 --> 00:42:07.719
side note, Um, he's there
and I miss him daily. And I

542
00:42:07.800 --> 00:42:12.920
think I've said it before on the
show. We he I've got six siblings.

543
00:42:13.599 --> 00:42:16.800
We're all from different moms. And
this is I don't know if it

544
00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:22.440
is as prevalent now, but this
is Caribbean culture. Um, this is

545
00:42:22.679 --> 00:42:27.599
what happens many even outside of marriages. You know, men have kids and

546
00:42:28.679 --> 00:42:30.960
you know the mother of that kid
lives halfway up the road and you pass

547
00:42:31.039 --> 00:42:34.360
them and you're in school together and
all that kind of stuff, and you

548
00:42:34.360 --> 00:42:37.039
don't even know it's your sister and
your brother. It's you know, it's

549
00:42:37.079 --> 00:42:44.599
all one big pot um. And
uh, what he did and I always

550
00:42:44.719 --> 00:42:50.400
commend him for and you know I'm
naming all his business beinger, but what

551
00:42:50.639 --> 00:42:53.880
I always commend him for was that
he when we were younger, though we

552
00:42:54.119 --> 00:43:00.360
were from separate households, used to
bring us together for sleeper was and for

553
00:43:00.480 --> 00:43:04.480
weekends. And we're all from different
faiths, so we used to go to

554
00:43:04.679 --> 00:43:09.400
church on a Saturday from his house. We used to worship from his house.

555
00:43:09.599 --> 00:43:15.119
We used to bond at his house. And I think that was the

556
00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:20.400
best thing he'd done for us,
because now we are a tight knit and

557
00:43:20.559 --> 00:43:25.000
that's because of that. And another
thing that has sort of come from that

558
00:43:25.400 --> 00:43:31.960
is our faith. They're still not
adventiced as such, but it was good

559
00:43:32.079 --> 00:43:37.599
ground, good seed because a lot
of the conversations are led by me in

560
00:43:37.800 --> 00:43:40.519
terms of faith, and they will
come and ask me, and they will

561
00:43:40.559 --> 00:43:45.639
come and talk to me about it, and and I think those are the

562
00:43:45.679 --> 00:43:49.119
foundations. And and you when you
speak about your dad being around for the

563
00:43:49.159 --> 00:43:53.599
first twenty five years, I think
of that as good foundation, because that's

564
00:43:53.639 --> 00:43:59.079
what we have to build as parents. Good foundation, good good starts.

565
00:43:59.599 --> 00:44:00.679
You know, the Bible speaks of
that, you know, train up a

566
00:44:00.840 --> 00:44:05.960
child. And um, that is
what I take away. You know,

567
00:44:06.079 --> 00:44:12.039
he really made sure not just that
his relationship with us was strong, but

568
00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:17.320
our relationship with each other was strong. As siblings, and I commend him

569
00:44:17.320 --> 00:44:22.480
for that because that's not always done
and that's not always thought about, you

570
00:44:22.559 --> 00:44:25.480
know, making sure that as siblings, as sister and brother, that we

571
00:44:25.639 --> 00:44:30.760
had a close relationship, because that's
the relationship that's going to take us beyond

572
00:44:30.360 --> 00:44:35.199
you know him, you know,
and that's the legacy that he left.

573
00:44:35.400 --> 00:44:38.239
And he's you know, he's a
he comes from a rich Adventist home.

574
00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:42.639
Um. I tease him about that, because we're not sure what happened to

575
00:44:42.760 --> 00:44:47.119
him, but from a rich adventis. I remember my grandma. Um.

576
00:44:47.559 --> 00:44:51.280
She died when I was very very
young, but one of the very few

577
00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:53.679
memories I have of her is of
her singing, um, you know,

578
00:44:53.719 --> 00:45:00.039
the old, good old old hymns
and and good old gospel songs. And

579
00:45:00.800 --> 00:45:05.280
you know, she lived just across
the road from the church and we all

580
00:45:05.440 --> 00:45:08.159
sing. We all like a good
old worship session. I spoke a bit

581
00:45:08.280 --> 00:45:13.400
about it. And when we recap
Colchester, you know, he just used

582
00:45:13.400 --> 00:45:15.480
to sit on the piano and he
plays by air, and we were singing

583
00:45:15.960 --> 00:45:20.800
hymns and playing hymns and learning them
and singing them together, and it was

584
00:45:20.880 --> 00:45:23.559
just a that's a beautiful moment.
I love praise and worship. You know

585
00:45:23.679 --> 00:45:28.440
that I love songs. I love
good music. It has a way of

586
00:45:28.559 --> 00:45:31.480
just connecting people. And that's again
we all, we all love music.

587
00:45:31.599 --> 00:45:38.559
My my brother is an artist in
his own right. So and my other

588
00:45:38.639 --> 00:45:43.199
brother, my youngest brother, he
plays the piano phenomenally. He plays for

589
00:45:43.360 --> 00:45:46.320
everything and everyone, and he's just
amazing. I missed that trick, but

590
00:45:46.480 --> 00:45:52.519
I'm trying. Um, I got
but yes, So it's just all of

591
00:45:52.599 --> 00:45:57.719
that stuff that he's he shared with
us and got us involved in, and

592
00:45:57.960 --> 00:46:00.039
you could feel the love. I've
got the quote that I saw and it

593
00:46:00.159 --> 00:46:07.920
made me think of him. A
son's first hero is a dad, but

594
00:46:07.079 --> 00:46:13.719
a dad is a daughter's first love, and that for me is a sentiment.

595
00:46:13.960 --> 00:46:20.880
He he's the man wrong or right
that I sort of see as the

596
00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:24.519
benchmark, you know, And like
I said, wrong or right, there's

597
00:46:24.519 --> 00:46:30.159
a lot of wrong roads that daughters
go down because of that. But um,

598
00:46:30.440 --> 00:46:34.000
and that's a very important point that
we may want to die sec a

599
00:46:34.079 --> 00:46:40.239
little later, but the pattern of
how love is in a home comes from

600
00:46:40.360 --> 00:46:47.000
that relationship. How he treats me
is how I expect others to treat me.

601
00:46:49.320 --> 00:46:51.360
And I say it all the time. My father never beat me,

602
00:46:52.199 --> 00:46:54.440
so you don't lay your hand on
me that kind of way. You know.

603
00:46:54.679 --> 00:46:58.880
These are the these are the things
that you you you take away from

604
00:46:58.960 --> 00:47:01.920
that relationship. My dad loves me. I'm the apple of his eye and

605
00:47:02.599 --> 00:47:07.199
you know, if there any man
in my life needs to treat me the

606
00:47:07.360 --> 00:47:09.440
same. And perhaps he spoiled me
so that there's a there's a benchmark there

607
00:47:09.480 --> 00:47:14.920
that's hard to meet, but that
without sort of taking the next hour.

608
00:47:15.920 --> 00:47:20.239
That's the kind of relationship that we
had. And I really really appreciate him

609
00:47:20.920 --> 00:47:25.400
and I appreciate the love that he
has given me over the years. Mistakes

610
00:47:25.440 --> 00:47:30.039
were made, yes, for sure, but I never doubted his love for

611
00:47:30.119 --> 00:47:35.440
me. I never doubted. I
love that and I love the fact that

612
00:47:35.480 --> 00:47:38.360
you know, you'll say that he
shared his faith with you and connected you

613
00:47:38.480 --> 00:47:43.159
all through there. Yeah, which
you know fathers are you know, that's

614
00:47:43.199 --> 00:47:47.079
part of their role as well to
be doing um. Yeah, so even

615
00:47:47.519 --> 00:47:52.559
as you said mistakes, there's beat
that still comes from there. So yeah,

616
00:47:52.639 --> 00:48:04.000
yeah, I'm sure you have the
spend some hidden talents there. I

617
00:48:04.159 --> 00:48:06.880
tease and say that I'm a jack
of all trades, you know, and

618
00:48:07.000 --> 00:48:13.960
you add the rest I'm dabbling a
lot of things. Whether I master anythings,

619
00:48:14.280 --> 00:48:17.000
it's left to be seen. But
yeah, um, and he's you

620
00:48:17.039 --> 00:48:22.320
know, he's a speaker, he's
he's he's an environmentalist. You know,

621
00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:25.960
there's a word. Um. He's
just passionate about so many things. And

622
00:48:27.119 --> 00:48:30.639
that comes across to all of us. You know, we're champions in our

623
00:48:30.679 --> 00:48:37.199
own right and different things. And
yeah, we appreciate him. We appreciate

624
00:48:37.400 --> 00:48:40.800
the talent. You do, the
you do, the um the music show,

625
00:48:43.400 --> 00:48:49.639
you know, the last less you
Petro, you're determined to plug that

626
00:48:49.760 --> 00:48:58.880
in there together. Yeah, you
know you gotta research, you gotta put

627
00:48:58.920 --> 00:49:01.440
the songs together. You know you
and you know you don't give yourself that

628
00:49:01.559 --> 00:49:05.599
credit. It's not like this the
only radio. You're done radio before you

629
00:49:05.880 --> 00:49:09.480
have the program, you're put together
stuff. Your job now is in the

630
00:49:09.559 --> 00:49:13.840
hotel is in the hotel business.
I remember correctly. Yes, you know

631
00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:19.840
you're know how to organize. You
have a talent than you say you don't

632
00:49:19.840 --> 00:49:22.039
have a talent. I'm saying you
got giving yourself enough credit. That's all

633
00:49:22.079 --> 00:49:25.119
I'm saying. You know you can
organize, you can do you have a

634
00:49:25.239 --> 00:49:30.639
talent that, yes, I do. I do try, you know.

635
00:49:30.800 --> 00:49:36.320
Yeah, I am plugging for people
to listen so they know next weekend they

636
00:49:36.360 --> 00:49:37.920
can you know, after talking a
good point, Yes, we will have

637
00:49:38.039 --> 00:49:44.079
Saturday night praise and I'm I'm hoping
everyone will stay with us after talking point

638
00:49:44.199 --> 00:49:47.079
for some good old music. Um, we'll have a good time praising God

639
00:49:47.079 --> 00:49:52.719
because he deserves the praise and deserves
one question though, m hm, So

640
00:49:53.000 --> 00:49:58.119
I'm gonna be like you now,
I'm gonna I'm gonna you're stirring. Now

641
00:49:58.199 --> 00:50:02.599
you say you said that your father
never never, I'm spank you. I'm

642
00:50:02.599 --> 00:50:07.360
gonna say spank. I'm not gonna
say beat, spank. Do you think,

643
00:50:07.000 --> 00:50:14.199
oh I think my dad maybe meet
me twice in my life. You

644
00:50:14.280 --> 00:50:16.559
know this is a very yeah,
it's very edgy topic here, but yes,

645
00:50:16.639 --> 00:50:20.079
no, no, no, no, because I you know, I

646
00:50:20.239 --> 00:50:22.320
believe in you know, what's the
word to a sparing You know, I

647
00:50:22.360 --> 00:50:30.159
can't think you're afraid careful? Right, spoiled the child? Right? I

648
00:50:30.280 --> 00:50:32.480
just think that sometimes, you know, girl, little boy, you know

649
00:50:34.599 --> 00:50:38.840
right, it's a necessity jumping age
quick save pedro. You know what.

650
00:50:39.400 --> 00:50:43.000
You know what, Listen, I'm
not giving example. I'm not giving example.

651
00:50:43.559 --> 00:50:45.719
And because I'm a friend. I'm
gonna give a real example. So

652
00:50:46.440 --> 00:50:52.519
my little one acts out. She
sometimes, and one time she was told

653
00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:57.920
that she was afraid that I was
gonna whipper. So the school got all

654
00:50:58.000 --> 00:50:59.920
bent out of shape and they came
to us and it's like, oh,

655
00:51:00.159 --> 00:51:02.679
you can't do that, you know
they they they kind of bum washed my

656
00:51:02.760 --> 00:51:06.679
wife. I wasn't there. Then
we had to have a meeting and so

657
00:51:06.880 --> 00:51:09.880
and so. Right, so fast
forward. Now my daughter sees this.

658
00:51:10.320 --> 00:51:15.239
So now she is um acting out
of school, and she's acting out,

659
00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:20.239
acting out, acting out. It's
getting worse, maybe three four times a

660
00:51:20.320 --> 00:51:23.559
month. Then it goes to three
f two three times a week where she's

661
00:51:23.599 --> 00:51:28.039
acting out because she knows and you
can and the teachers like, I see

662
00:51:28.039 --> 00:51:30.239
her smile. It's I know she's
doing it on purpose, you understand,

663
00:51:30.239 --> 00:51:34.920
because she's like, oh, I
can get away with this. So finally

664
00:51:35.000 --> 00:51:37.519
I have enough. Nope, you're
gonna have to get what I call a

665
00:51:37.559 --> 00:51:43.320
reboot. You're gonna have to get
medicine. Since she's had to reboot,

666
00:51:44.159 --> 00:51:49.239
she's been good. I'm just saying
I didn't abuse her. People, I'm

667
00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:52.239
not saying that I abused her,
but I didn't let her know that there's

668
00:51:52.239 --> 00:51:58.960
a you know, because sometimes it's
talking only goes so far. That is

669
00:51:59.000 --> 00:52:04.039
an interesting litate actually kind of tut. But as a father, I have

670
00:52:04.159 --> 00:52:06.679
to put a stop to because it's
driving my wife crazy. Because my wife

671
00:52:06.719 --> 00:52:09.039
is getting to school and she's getting
all these bad reports and you can see

672
00:52:09.039 --> 00:52:12.719
it draining on her. So at
some point I have to be like,

673
00:52:12.800 --> 00:52:16.199
okay, now I gotta step in
and you know, be the father figure,

674
00:52:16.480 --> 00:52:22.679
you know, put some corrective measures
in place for the discipline and the

675
00:52:22.719 --> 00:52:28.480
instruction. I think it's a very
fun line have presented and done. And

676
00:52:28.880 --> 00:52:32.239
you know, sadly there are people
who just take it a step too far.

677
00:52:32.519 --> 00:52:36.440
I said, they don't get an
exercise for straight and control, all

678
00:52:36.519 --> 00:52:38.000
right, And that's what I'm saying. I showed restraint. I was deliberate.

679
00:52:38.079 --> 00:52:43.159
I wasn't like I didn't do it
mad. I was very controlled,

680
00:52:43.519 --> 00:52:45.960
and I was like, Okay,
I'm gonna do it three times and then

681
00:52:45.960 --> 00:52:47.559
I'm gonna stop. And I wasn't
like, you know, you know,

682
00:52:47.760 --> 00:52:51.280
you know, we look when I
was going up you know, the woman's

683
00:52:51.360 --> 00:52:52.840
ring, I was like, you
know, when they were talking to you

684
00:52:52.960 --> 00:52:55.599
know, like did it I tell
you, you know, they just all

685
00:52:55.639 --> 00:52:58.880
over the map and you're flying all
over the place. You know, it

686
00:52:58.960 --> 00:53:01.559
wasn't like that. It was control. And I think if you have a

687
00:53:01.639 --> 00:53:07.199
control situation, it can be done
correctly. Go out it needs to be

688
00:53:07.320 --> 00:53:09.760
done. And there are a lot
of people who believe as you do.

689
00:53:10.199 --> 00:53:15.880
Um, I mean it's more of
a Caribbean thing. I feel, I'm

690
00:53:15.920 --> 00:53:19.440
not sure. Correct me if I'm
wrong, and it's an island thing.

691
00:53:19.719 --> 00:53:23.760
Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, I was brought up like that.

692
00:53:24.480 --> 00:53:30.599
Funnily enough, my mom's love our
grandma and you know, JJ gets away

693
00:53:30.679 --> 00:53:37.960
with with everything and I'm not sure
where that happened the way, you know,

694
00:53:38.199 --> 00:53:42.480
especially you know the way the laws
have changed everything else. You just

695
00:53:42.639 --> 00:53:47.159
have to be yes for discipline,
boundaries, you know, all those kind

696
00:53:47.159 --> 00:53:52.360
of things are really important of course
for being the head of the family.

697
00:53:52.480 --> 00:53:54.440
If the head of a family,
you know, we talk about role modeling.

698
00:53:54.639 --> 00:53:59.440
We talk about somebody who he's going
to be a leader, those in

699
00:53:59.480 --> 00:54:00.880
place because otherwise, you know how
they're going to know right from wrong.

700
00:54:01.880 --> 00:54:06.119
We talked about we talked about setting
a foundation. If you're not doing that

701
00:54:06.239 --> 00:54:08.360
right from the get go, you
know, that'd be all over the place,

702
00:54:08.360 --> 00:54:10.800
as you said, And you know, sometimes you have to start that

703
00:54:10.960 --> 00:54:15.679
from as young as you can,
otherwise you get to a point and it

704
00:54:15.840 --> 00:54:19.039
still comes too hard because almost too
late to have done that. Yeah,

705
00:54:19.159 --> 00:54:21.800
you know, so, yeah,
I take you agree with that, but

706
00:54:21.960 --> 00:54:24.639
you know it's debatable as to how
that can be done, you know,

707
00:54:24.800 --> 00:54:29.320
so, and I think it's different. It's different. For all. Before

708
00:54:29.320 --> 00:54:31.800
I did this, I looked it
up and it's not against the law.

709
00:54:34.039 --> 00:54:36.840
No, no, no, no, no no no. I'm just saying

710
00:54:36.920 --> 00:54:40.199
that I did because I was so
I was so afraid from what the school

711
00:54:40.280 --> 00:54:45.679
had done that almost kind of like
took away my my parental right, And

712
00:54:45.840 --> 00:54:51.760
so I said, let me make
sure before I do this that I'm not

713
00:54:51.840 --> 00:54:53.440
going to get in trouble the end. Like I had to, you know,

714
00:54:53.519 --> 00:54:55.880
I had to investigate. I know
that sounds weird, but I just

715
00:54:57.000 --> 00:54:59.679
wanted to make sure that I could, you know. And they said the

716
00:54:59.760 --> 00:55:06.400
law the point of loses of you
know thing, it's okay, even though

717
00:55:06.440 --> 00:55:09.000
they're trying to stop that too here
in the UK. They have but now

718
00:55:09.079 --> 00:55:13.400
in the UK. But I just
want to point that I didn't investigate before

719
00:55:13.400 --> 00:55:16.440
I did. Yeah, And I
think every child is different for for for

720
00:55:16.599 --> 00:55:20.880
me, that's my opinion. Every
child is different. Some some children,

721
00:55:20.920 --> 00:55:23.199
like I said, for my dad, a word I look was enough,

722
00:55:23.800 --> 00:55:27.599
right, you know, so he
didn't necessarily need to beat me. But

723
00:55:27.719 --> 00:55:30.320
my mom couldn't get my attention for
good goal. I mean, she could

724
00:55:30.360 --> 00:55:32.760
take the beltop and I still stand. I stand there with my face screwed,

725
00:55:32.760 --> 00:55:36.079
and she would beat me and my
face still screwed. And when I

726
00:55:36.199 --> 00:55:38.400
left, I still do what I
wanted to do. Um so we and

727
00:55:38.519 --> 00:55:44.079
she couldn't understand it. She couldn't
understand it. Um So you know,

728
00:55:44.480 --> 00:55:46.440
JJ will watch me in my face, both face, so you know,

729
00:55:46.599 --> 00:55:49.920
I you know, I could say
what I want, I could do what

730
00:55:50.000 --> 00:55:52.239
I want. You know what's he's
a big tough guy, and now he's

731
00:55:52.280 --> 00:55:54.719
taller than me, and I keep
threatenings. It doesn't matter how tall you

732
00:55:54.800 --> 00:55:59.599
are. You know, I'm still
gonna get to you. Yeah, exactly.

733
00:56:00.320 --> 00:56:01.480
I try to make him afraid of
Maybe he don't need to pay no

734
00:56:01.519 --> 00:56:06.400
attention, but um, I mean, it is what we need to do

735
00:56:06.519 --> 00:56:09.880
as parents. I believe to discipline
and and we're going to get onto that.

736
00:56:10.000 --> 00:56:16.360
I believe about examples in the Bible
and even example from Christ and our

737
00:56:16.440 --> 00:56:22.360
heavenly Father of of that. But
yes, his past, um parcel.

738
00:56:22.440 --> 00:56:24.000
But what I meant was, and
as you said, Pedro, it's a

739
00:56:24.079 --> 00:56:28.519
fine line or what's it, Angela
between you know, discipline and abuse,

740
00:56:28.599 --> 00:56:32.039
and we have to make sure we
draw that line clear, very clear,

741
00:56:32.360 --> 00:56:37.119
um, because it's an important principle. I think in the news I heard

742
00:56:37.159 --> 00:56:43.440
that some parents were recently um sentence
for the death of a nine year old.

743
00:56:43.480 --> 00:56:45.960
So it's you know, we have
to be very very very careful,

744
00:56:46.280 --> 00:56:53.039
um, because there are people they
were disciplined, yes, under the umbrella

745
00:56:54.000 --> 00:56:59.760
of yes, and that was horrendous
and horrific. And I think that's why

746
00:57:00.159 --> 00:57:05.159
you know, antennas go up and
and and and people jump into action because

747
00:57:05.840 --> 00:57:08.519
you know that's the first thing to
make sure that they protect the child.

748
00:57:08.599 --> 00:57:12.719
And I get that, um,
Patrol, you were asking for a break,

749
00:57:13.079 --> 00:57:16.000
um, and this is a good
point. Yeah, this is a

750
00:57:16.079 --> 00:57:22.000
good point to do that. My
Father's Heart by Rachel Lampos the next song

751
00:57:22.079 --> 00:57:47.000
and um, we'll be back after
that. Havething. Here's the sky the

752
00:57:47.199 --> 00:58:19.119
scene just Disney to shows soon to
find my confessed, My love is not

753
00:58:22.320 --> 00:58:46.440
it all belongsuter you, timestar kind
is the in ef only to face my

754
00:58:46.960 --> 00:59:25.199
fathers lovesly change flowing from jee with
one voice, well sing to get its

755
00:59:25.360 --> 00:59:50.559
will be a song Foo. My
live is one, it all besu and

756
00:59:50.880 --> 01:00:08.719
that your time can do. She
is living in every plot only to day

757
01:00:08.920 --> 01:00:58.280
is my fault, my love,
it is not mine. It don't belot

758
01:00:58.480 --> 01:01:20.039
see you enough you leave, can't
do it is living in a pot only

759
01:01:20.400 --> 01:02:00.679
to please my faults, only to
please my fault. Okay, welcome back

760
01:02:00.719 --> 01:02:07.599
to talking point. We've been talking
about fathers. We're celebrating our fathers today,

761
01:02:08.400 --> 01:02:13.000
so any sort of fathers, father
figures, and we're including uncle's,

762
01:02:13.119 --> 01:02:15.599
grandparents, etc. Et cetera.
We're wising that net. We want to

763
01:02:15.599 --> 01:02:19.719
celebrate you. And we've been sharing
so far and a bit about our own

764
01:02:20.840 --> 01:02:27.280
fathers and fathers in our lives and
the influences they've had on us and what

765
01:02:27.400 --> 01:02:29.159
we did as well. For this
show, we've spoken to a couple of

766
01:02:29.199 --> 01:02:32.000
people as well. So I sat
down with a friend of mine, Stephen,

767
01:02:32.440 --> 01:02:37.280
just to talk about his experience as
being a father. He's a fairly

768
01:02:37.360 --> 01:02:40.480
new father, his children are young, but he gave us a really good

769
01:02:40.519 --> 01:02:44.920
insight into what that's been like for
him. So we're going to listen to

770
01:02:45.039 --> 01:02:47.920
an interview with him now and then
we'll come back and just talk a little

771
01:02:47.960 --> 01:02:52.199
bit about what we what he had
to say and our thoughts on that.

772
01:02:52.400 --> 01:03:06.119
So over teas and yeah, let's
see you now pretty much in how she's

773
01:03:06.199 --> 01:03:08.719
not he's just making me just want
to understand that, you know, just

774
01:03:08.880 --> 01:03:14.079
impreasionment and just be okay, you
know what I mean, it's not right.

775
01:03:14.119 --> 01:03:19.400
I'm going to bring that makes sense. You didn't start from the beginning.

776
01:03:21.599 --> 01:03:24.360
Okay, So thank you for joining
me today. Um So tell me

777
01:03:27.000 --> 01:03:32.239
let me today. Thank you for
joining me today. Um So tell me

778
01:03:32.239 --> 01:03:37.920
a little bit about yourself and your
children. Yes, so I'm first with

779
01:03:37.000 --> 01:03:44.639
my name's what to jow you?
My door off. She's got to be

780
01:03:44.719 --> 01:03:53.679
free this month actually, oh cool? And my son he's one. Yes,

781
01:03:53.960 --> 01:03:59.639
I'm quite closing age together, which
I preferred that way because it's when

782
01:03:59.639 --> 01:04:03.960
I see you always going to go
on. Seeing a bond is really touching

783
01:04:04.000 --> 01:04:11.000
to see sel. Yeah, enjoy
it. Okay, So times about your

784
01:04:11.119 --> 01:04:14.280
experience of fatherhood, you know,
how would that be? What's that been

785
01:04:14.360 --> 01:04:18.280
like? Obviously you've got two children
unders they're under three, and she's mentioned

786
01:04:18.320 --> 01:04:21.159
there's close in age together. So
what's the luck for you being a father

787
01:04:24.280 --> 01:04:30.159
modestly young? It's school. Sometimes
I'm sing sing under I'm a father.

788
01:04:30.679 --> 01:04:39.320
I gus expensive, but I'm also
amazing thing for I remember just seeing them

789
01:04:40.320 --> 01:04:45.440
born for the first time. Memories
ain't gonna go away. I'm just seeing

790
01:04:45.480 --> 01:04:50.960
them from young, seeing marstones.
It's been a really young, enjoyable experience.

791
01:04:51.239 --> 01:04:58.360
But I'm also been challenging as well. UM sometimes been them all the

792
01:04:59.480 --> 01:05:03.679
beau some challenges, for example,
crying all the time, suppress nights.

793
01:05:04.119 --> 01:05:11.719
Um at the moment, although that
she's struggling to sometimes explain what she wants

794
01:05:11.760 --> 01:05:16.159
sometimes so UM, I can tell
that she's trying to talk and express herself,

795
01:05:17.280 --> 01:05:21.599
not able to talk to creative pope, And sometimes I will say for

796
01:05:21.679 --> 01:05:28.679
her because I know that she's trying
not artist in our days. My patience

797
01:05:28.760 --> 01:05:30.800
is law because I'm trying to get
her to really get to that point,

798
01:05:30.840 --> 01:05:33.320
if that makes sense. Yeah,
I've learning that so far. But it's

799
01:05:33.360 --> 01:05:38.400
got to be patient because if she's
so young, she's learning, she's developing

800
01:05:38.639 --> 01:05:44.519
and even seeing our treatments in how
she is now it's just making me just

801
01:05:44.599 --> 01:05:47.400
want to understand that, you know, just be patient and just be okay

802
01:05:47.440 --> 01:05:50.360
without you know what I mean,
it's not as made just as people might

803
01:05:50.719 --> 01:05:55.639
see it to be. That make
sense. So I'm trying to be patient,

804
01:05:55.840 --> 01:06:02.920
trying to be understanding. Estimation is
but girl, he's very very adventurous,

805
01:06:03.840 --> 01:06:10.679
doesn't normal boundaries. So I'm always
on the look up because he's a

806
01:06:10.840 --> 01:06:15.639
well climbing out the chair for the
normal. And it's like, I find

807
01:06:15.679 --> 01:06:18.760
it funny because just seeing them playing, how funny is I think it's a

808
01:06:18.800 --> 01:06:25.960
good thing because they're young. Yeah, they don't know the word danger,

809
01:06:26.559 --> 01:06:31.079
so iman to basically just explain and
to deferently certain things. But I think

810
01:06:31.079 --> 01:06:36.679
they're more changing for them. For
me as a farmer is just be impatient.

811
01:06:38.920 --> 01:06:45.920
I think for me well as working
for home and having them basically for

812
01:06:45.079 --> 01:06:49.760
the whole day, and for the
whole day, it's all good because I

813
01:06:49.920 --> 01:06:56.119
get the fact that I'm present with
them, so then beg their breakfast and

814
01:06:57.639 --> 01:07:01.400
might read them some books or whatever. Maybe I'm learning with them, sad

815
01:07:01.480 --> 01:07:06.519
pretty all the stuff. But then
because because I've got things golding in my

816
01:07:06.559 --> 01:07:10.519
own life and things I've got to
do. I don't know, hard to

817
01:07:11.559 --> 01:07:14.880
find the ballot sometimes at the store. Things that I want to achieve,

818
01:07:14.920 --> 01:07:19.320
the two things that I want to
welcome, and it's difficult to focus on

819
01:07:19.440 --> 01:07:26.800
those things when my kids are basically
needing my time, at my attention to

820
01:07:26.960 --> 01:07:31.239
any moment that I did have to
sit down and do things. Peter might

821
01:07:31.320 --> 01:07:34.159
come to me, want to play, They come up, want to come

822
01:07:34.199 --> 01:07:39.880
to me and play around. And
at first I'm like, auld pay like

823
01:07:40.239 --> 01:07:43.480
gold to your mom or gold to
your garden, all these often joss,

824
01:07:44.400 --> 01:07:47.719
but sometimes they're they're come and consteen, so I'm having to stop what I'm

825
01:07:47.760 --> 01:07:54.360
doing to skip them time. And
for me, it shouldn't be a competition

826
01:07:55.199 --> 01:07:59.199
that for me, my child should
always come first or finding hard to find

827
01:07:59.320 --> 01:08:03.760
the ballot, being present, being
active, being there for them, but

828
01:08:03.920 --> 01:08:11.519
also working on my passions and aspirations
and prob just that I want to be

829
01:08:11.559 --> 01:08:17.479
all welcomness or its aper tough to
manage, but I'm getting And how have

830
01:08:17.560 --> 01:08:20.199
you how have you found being able
to make their balance? What kind of

831
01:08:20.279 --> 01:08:25.960
things have helped you to be able
to do that? Yes, So for

832
01:08:26.079 --> 01:08:31.159
me, I'm just being honest with
my wife kid about wearing my whole thing.

833
01:08:31.800 --> 01:08:36.880
If I don't really talk to about
what's going on, she even I

834
01:08:38.000 --> 01:08:44.439
understand. So she's talking about first
of all certain or down managing. I

835
01:08:44.520 --> 01:08:48.199
didn't know hard to find a balance
that she's able to help out more.

836
01:08:48.800 --> 01:08:53.159
And it's not that she's not helping
that anyway, but unless she's got things

837
01:08:53.199 --> 01:08:55.920
to do, work and stuff like
that, so that she's got things also

838
01:08:56.039 --> 01:09:01.920
what they cannot understand that sometimes support
is needed. Actually helped because it gave

839
01:09:01.960 --> 01:09:08.159
me time to you know, just
take a break and working some stuff.

840
01:09:09.079 --> 01:09:15.800
I'm almos where I marked with the
kids might be paying the stuff and if

841
01:09:15.840 --> 01:09:20.439
I can watch them because I bought
pay to me preschool just to basically on

842
01:09:21.319 --> 01:09:26.520
the ARDEA and A socials and stuff. And while she's art get paying.

843
01:09:28.720 --> 01:09:31.760
As I said before, this makes
me forget that the pressures on burdens or

844
01:09:32.520 --> 01:09:35.800
what got going on if not makes
sense that for me is a farmer and

845
01:09:35.880 --> 01:09:45.520
as ad there's this heavy burden on
the Mincy providency either and make things happen

846
01:09:46.119 --> 01:09:50.760
and certainty, it gets to me
and I want to just remember the simple

847
01:09:50.840 --> 01:09:57.000
things that she's young, that she
just wants my time, that's she's really

848
01:09:57.039 --> 01:10:01.880
innocent. She being pure. That
makes me just forget about compressions. They

849
01:10:02.000 --> 01:10:08.000
just kind of makes you focus on
or supportant, which is being and just

850
01:10:08.159 --> 01:10:12.840
making a happy and just being around. So for me, it's just trying

851
01:10:12.880 --> 01:10:18.239
to pick something perspectives of that it's
good to when I'm working, provide and

852
01:10:19.239 --> 01:10:24.359
be that form, be that man. At the same time, I thought

853
01:10:24.399 --> 01:10:28.800
that matureian just need the simple things
right now, which is me being a

854
01:10:29.680 --> 01:10:33.239
be just helping him to understand life. That would be reading, playing,

855
01:10:33.479 --> 01:10:40.239
learning, developing, And I think
that manser just hard me to change how

856
01:10:40.239 --> 01:10:44.159
I used to see things sold You
know, some days are but some days

857
01:10:44.159 --> 01:10:47.720
are so goodness to be involve what
I'm getting, you know, and how

858
01:10:47.880 --> 01:10:53.199
was your How did you say your
spiritual life has helped you in your role

859
01:10:53.239 --> 01:11:00.479
as a father. Yeah, not
because I'm I think I'm realizing how much

860
01:11:00.520 --> 01:11:08.680
any goods strength and support to helping
to be the best part that I can

861
01:11:08.800 --> 01:11:15.560
be. Um. I think one
of my favorite verses talks about the trying

862
01:11:15.600 --> 01:11:23.399
to patience. So if my kids
are testing my patients, I think it's

863
01:11:23.680 --> 01:11:30.319
designed to highlight where I am as
a person, and it is an opportunity

864
01:11:30.439 --> 01:11:34.760
to to work on those things.
And I think I's been using this experience

865
01:11:34.840 --> 01:11:41.960
to helping to improve when need to
improve, to deal with what I've got

866
01:11:42.000 --> 01:11:45.319
to deal with, and to me
as a liston to discuss. That makes

867
01:11:45.319 --> 01:11:48.640
sense because they are or going to
be the best that I can be,

868
01:11:49.479 --> 01:11:53.399
but then at the same time help
me to be the best that I can't

869
01:11:53.399 --> 01:12:00.319
be any to deal with the things
that are pervertly for the and the person

870
01:12:00.439 --> 01:12:04.239
and all that company. So it's
cool. You need to play more watching,

871
01:12:05.520 --> 01:12:10.720
studying more watching, understand what good
provideble of me as a farm as

872
01:12:10.760 --> 01:12:17.079
a mantal is heavily impacting my spiritual
life and a big wee um because I

873
01:12:17.159 --> 01:12:24.479
know that I can be just with
and I think being a farmer, I

874
01:12:24.560 --> 01:12:30.960
think it's important war and I just
want to do it the best way of

875
01:12:30.039 --> 01:12:35.600
that appen. So yeah, okay, So this this show, we're celebrating

876
01:12:35.640 --> 01:12:40.079
our fathers and father figures. So
if I was to ask your wife,

877
01:12:40.720 --> 01:12:44.039
and I guess if your children could
express that, how would they describe you

878
01:12:44.119 --> 01:12:47.119
as a father? How would you
wife describe you as a father? Oh

879
01:12:47.199 --> 01:12:51.680
wow, I'm mine as angel that
When I sat the question, I asker,

880
01:12:53.319 --> 01:13:00.239
so I asked her, actually gave
you free okay, ships Um,

881
01:13:00.000 --> 01:13:09.920
I'm active and I'm loving and I'm
from m HM. So actually I guess

882
01:13:09.960 --> 01:13:16.000
it's simple because I'm living all the
time. Morning after that time, I'm

883
01:13:16.399 --> 01:13:24.720
there. I born in times of
gust Us, understandable loving, what's hard

884
01:13:24.760 --> 01:13:29.399
to do that? And I was
touching dinner because at the time I don't

885
01:13:29.399 --> 01:13:35.159
really think about certain things. He
want to say. That was encouraging from

886
01:13:36.399 --> 01:13:42.399
Um. I didn't want to be
the dad that was always fun more.

887
01:13:43.199 --> 01:13:49.479
But then I'm learning that if I
don't sets it on boundaries. First year

888
01:13:49.479 --> 01:13:59.680
of Kila that she's very very stubborn
and supatiently boundaries which in the moment and

889
01:14:00.119 --> 01:14:02.399
I love because if I love,
then she will love. But she she's

890
01:14:02.399 --> 01:14:08.760
got a very very funny character or
after basically just yeah, just balance the

891
01:14:08.960 --> 01:14:15.479
balance, trying to future their rules
and set of stuff, which I find

892
01:14:15.520 --> 01:14:20.039
hard to do for as I said
before, you asked me about as guiltual

893
01:14:20.079 --> 01:14:25.479
and afficials causing me to the asks, which is healthy, give me a

894
01:14:25.600 --> 01:14:29.600
risk him somehow to talk you because
sometimes not easy, but the am trying

895
01:14:30.640 --> 01:14:36.359
the request to months m. I
think they will probably describe me as I'll

896
01:14:36.399 --> 01:14:43.680
find that, um there was coming
to me to sim please jumping on my

897
01:14:43.760 --> 01:14:45.640
back, go on my neck,
going to the guarding, or to go

898
01:14:45.720 --> 01:14:50.319
to the park. So we're not
going to take them mind scribe the common

899
01:14:50.399 --> 01:14:56.640
life, doing the elements all I
try to do those things through them sort

900
01:14:56.640 --> 01:15:00.560
of you can just enjoy themselves.
U we name in the house would day

901
01:15:01.479 --> 01:15:05.199
if I get a bit restless,
or I just chany to just make a

902
01:15:05.279 --> 01:15:14.399
day more productive. Other than that, I think I'd love to think that

903
01:15:14.560 --> 01:15:19.359
in order I love them. M
had a moment just the other actually which

904
01:15:21.479 --> 01:15:27.800
Peter was struggling to sleep, and
she when she wakes up in the night,

905
01:15:28.000 --> 01:15:30.960
I wake up. And the goals
were and then it give us some

906
01:15:30.039 --> 01:15:34.319
monks to see manage will make to
sleep. And sometimes and it's a bad

907
01:15:34.399 --> 01:15:42.359
man that she's up about fearful times, and sometimes it's I see him bocause

908
01:15:42.359 --> 01:15:47.560
I'm kind and we include. I
have an arrangement where she takes the early

909
01:15:47.720 --> 01:15:53.399
night shift and then when the kids
are fully peaks sleeping, that's my shift.

910
01:15:54.239 --> 01:15:57.640
I mean that ships also unpredictable,
and all the things happened doing that

911
01:15:57.720 --> 01:16:03.520
she sat in that shift. If
she's waking up crying. And then the

912
01:16:03.560 --> 01:16:10.800
other night she was crying and love
she was stay in a bed and then

913
01:16:10.840 --> 01:16:15.840
I'll go to But then she came
into our room and it came into a

914
01:16:15.920 --> 01:16:20.279
bed and she called me. I
want to speak in that little moments like

915
01:16:21.840 --> 01:16:29.960
what he was was touched and just
might be a very big factor the simple

916
01:16:30.039 --> 01:16:32.880
things that you know sometimes want to
talk about the challenges. In that moment,

917
01:16:34.119 --> 01:16:39.600
Stacker doesn't even makes sense, like
and didn't either think about distresses and

918
01:16:40.800 --> 01:16:45.039
how hard it made me In that
little moment her it just come to me,

919
01:16:45.079 --> 01:16:49.279
and I argue me, you're just
hugging. She made me thinking,

920
01:16:49.319 --> 01:16:54.199
oh, and like it's all came
on like she was would be cool.

921
01:16:54.399 --> 01:16:58.399
So and I just think that you
know that I loved them and they could

922
01:16:58.439 --> 01:17:01.000
come to him. So I just
that when you get that, all change

923
01:17:01.319 --> 01:17:04.560
don't make sense. Oh I love
that. I love that, And I

924
01:17:04.640 --> 01:17:08.680
love the fact that you it sounds
like you you know yourself and your wife.

925
01:17:09.039 --> 01:17:11.920
You know you're kind of it's teamwork
and I guess to stay team workers

926
01:17:11.920 --> 01:17:14.520
a dream work. So I love
that you even asked her that and she

927
01:17:14.640 --> 01:17:17.000
was able to share that with you. So um, thank you so much,

928
01:17:17.079 --> 01:17:21.800
I'm gonna leave it there. Appreciate
all your thoughts and your insights into

929
01:17:21.920 --> 01:17:26.760
being a father. Your family is
blessed to have you, and wishing you

930
01:17:26.760 --> 01:17:30.199
a happy Father's Day and for today
and for all throughout the year as well.

931
01:17:31.439 --> 01:18:06.239
Thank you. How deep the father's
love for us, How vast beyond

932
01:18:06.520 --> 01:18:20.039
doman that he should give his only
son and make gage his transder, How

933
01:18:20.319 --> 01:18:31.560
great the pain offsaring loss? The
father turns his face away as wounds which

934
01:18:31.720 --> 01:18:55.600
mother chosen bring many sons to glory, behome. The man upon the crist,

935
01:18:56.760 --> 01:19:06.319
my sin upon his show, older, ashamed that hear my marking call

936
01:19:06.479 --> 01:19:17.479
out among the scarf. It was
my sin that held in the until it

937
01:19:17.960 --> 01:19:27.960
was a calm. His dying breath
has brought me to life. I know

938
01:19:28.720 --> 01:19:48.800
that it his fend. I will
have bostan anything no gives, no pie

939
01:19:49.079 --> 01:20:13.760
always now, but I will bost
in Jesus death. Why that was Philip's

940
01:20:14.039 --> 01:20:17.760
Craig and Dean with a powerful song
him your selection, Pedro, And in

941
01:20:17.840 --> 01:20:21.079
a minute you can tell us why
you selected this one. But it's how

942
01:20:21.560 --> 01:20:27.720
deep the Father's love for us.
That was one of your songs chosen for

943
01:20:27.880 --> 01:20:32.600
this um this Safternoon's program. What
does it mean to you? Oh?

944
01:20:32.640 --> 01:20:36.680
Sorry, go ahead, Pedrick ahead. Oh okay, yeah, no,

945
01:20:38.600 --> 01:20:40.920
sorry, we just we diverted a
little bit. But it's a very it's

946
01:20:40.920 --> 01:20:44.319
a very powerful song. And I
just wanted if you why why did you

947
01:20:44.439 --> 01:20:49.000
choose say or does it mean something
to you before we start talking about you

948
01:20:49.079 --> 01:20:54.960
know the father that um Jesus,
the price that got paid, said that

949
01:20:55.079 --> 01:20:58.920
Jesus to die for our sins,
you know, the price that we pay.

950
01:20:59.079 --> 01:21:00.479
And as a father, you know, there's no thing that I would

951
01:21:00.520 --> 01:21:02.720
have did for my children. I
would, you know, I would do

952
01:21:02.800 --> 01:21:08.439
anything to protect my children. And
even though I wouldn't want to die,

953
01:21:08.520 --> 01:21:11.520
I would still die for my children. I really believe that. I believe

954
01:21:11.560 --> 01:21:14.560
that I would do whatever I have
to do to make sure that they have

955
01:21:15.039 --> 01:21:17.520
the life that they need to have, or like the life that they need,

956
01:21:18.039 --> 01:21:21.199
or be the person they need to
be. So I would do everything

957
01:21:21.239 --> 01:21:27.279
in my power, even sacrifice,
go without, you know, as a

958
01:21:27.359 --> 01:21:30.479
father, I would go without food
or clothes just to make sure that my

959
01:21:30.560 --> 01:21:33.840
kids would eat or eat, or
that my kids would be closed or have

960
01:21:34.520 --> 01:21:38.279
the head like I would, you
know, And I've been there where I've

961
01:21:38.319 --> 01:21:42.039
took myself work wise to make sure
that my children had what they needed,

962
01:21:42.159 --> 01:21:44.600
you know, if they needed and
my wife came to me said they need

963
01:21:44.800 --> 01:21:46.359
more close, I'll go get another
job. If we didn't have the money,

964
01:21:46.479 --> 01:21:49.399
you know, like I would,
you know, pretty much do whatever

965
01:21:49.439 --> 01:21:56.680
I have to do to take care
of my family, because that's take I

966
01:21:56.760 --> 01:22:00.960
take that responsibility very well as a
father, you know, I take that

967
01:22:01.000 --> 01:22:06.960
responsibilility. I was taught that through
my father actually stepfather, that you know,

968
01:22:08.520 --> 01:22:10.720
no matter what you do, but
you gotta you gotta, you gotta

969
01:22:10.800 --> 01:22:15.800
hustle. So I've taken up many
jobs and many different roles just to make

970
01:22:15.840 --> 01:22:19.600
sure that my family has what they
need, even if it's to the sacrifice

971
01:22:19.640 --> 01:22:25.279
of myself, even sometimes the sacrifice
which is wrong, sometimes the sacrifice of

972
01:22:25.359 --> 01:22:28.640
my marriage, you know, where
it put a little stream between my wife

973
01:22:28.640 --> 01:22:32.560
and I. Um and that's something
I had to learn how to balance on

974
01:22:32.720 --> 01:22:38.079
a regular basis, on how to
still provide but still be there. But

975
01:22:38.199 --> 01:22:42.359
I think it's father. Sometimes we
can get so engrossed and thinking that would

976
01:22:42.439 --> 01:22:45.159
in care of the family, which
what Stephen was just talking. Stephen was

977
01:22:45.199 --> 01:22:51.199
just talking about that we don't um
communicate how we really feel, how we

978
01:22:51.359 --> 01:22:58.680
really are, what we're going through, and then they could, they could

979
01:22:59.079 --> 01:23:02.399
they could put a strain, you
know, on a relationship because I like

980
01:23:02.520 --> 01:23:05.439
a lot of things that he was
talking about. I'm going into what he

981
01:23:05.560 --> 01:23:09.439
was talking about, but well,
and that I wanted to ask, and

982
01:23:09.560 --> 01:23:14.600
we were asking offline to sort of
remind us you were speaking to and where

983
01:23:14.680 --> 01:23:16.079
you Yeah, I was going to
ask, who was that one of the

984
01:23:16.119 --> 01:23:20.199
Fuller kids? It is, it's
one steaking Fuller. Many of you may

985
01:23:20.239 --> 01:23:25.199
have heard him speak or know of
him. We're gonna hear a bit more

986
01:23:25.239 --> 01:23:28.600
of him over the coming weeks as
well. But yeah, so you know

987
01:23:28.760 --> 01:23:30.720
he's he's coming up with a big
family. Actually, and as much I

988
01:23:30.760 --> 01:23:33.479
didn't go into sort of what his
fan dynamics and had that played a part,

989
01:23:33.880 --> 01:23:39.720
what was really evident was actually the
fact that is, you know,

990
01:23:39.920 --> 01:23:43.319
I can see that he's working toward
you with his wife and a partnership.

991
01:23:43.640 --> 01:23:46.159
He's a very hands on dad.
And children are young, so he's a

992
01:23:46.239 --> 01:23:50.560
fairly new father. You know,
they're three and one or nearly three and

993
01:23:50.600 --> 01:23:55.800
nearly one, and they too,
I should say, but he's very hands

994
01:23:55.840 --> 01:23:58.399
on, he's very active with them. He does a lot with them,

995
01:23:58.520 --> 01:24:00.760
but he communicates how he put his
going through with his wife and they kind

996
01:24:00.760 --> 01:24:04.600
of have you know, they work
things out and he wants to be very

997
01:24:04.640 --> 01:24:10.239
present in their lives. And but
he also recognized that he's not necessarily do

998
01:24:10.359 --> 01:24:14.840
this on his own and what's his
works with his wife with that, he's

999
01:24:14.840 --> 01:24:17.880
also relying heavily on God as well. You know, I like the fact

1000
01:24:18.439 --> 01:24:23.399
skills that he has to learn with
his patients. He's recognizing the challenges he's

1001
01:24:23.399 --> 01:24:26.720
still learning, but he wants to
be present, wants about to shape his

1002
01:24:26.880 --> 01:24:30.680
children's lives so ultimately they're going to
know. And actually that song really fitted

1003
01:24:30.720 --> 01:24:32.560
him really well. One of the
things I asked that question, what would

1004
01:24:32.600 --> 01:24:35.399
his wife saying? Children? And
you know, he wanted to He'd like

1005
01:24:35.560 --> 01:24:41.920
to think that they know that they
are loved and shows through them, and

1006
01:24:41.960 --> 01:24:44.399
that's going to be a reflection of
you know, his relationship with God.

1007
01:24:44.560 --> 01:24:46.600
So and he was lovous to hear
as well. When I asked the question

1008
01:24:46.640 --> 01:24:49.680
about you know, what was what
WI what I think his wife and children

1009
01:24:49.680 --> 01:24:53.079
would say? And he actually asked
his wife, he was like, I

1010
01:24:53.159 --> 01:24:57.359
don't even know, how do you
do. I don't want to put words

1011
01:24:57.359 --> 01:25:01.239
in their mouth sometimes, Pegil you
said, sometimes people if you don't communicate

1012
01:25:01.359 --> 01:25:08.079
what we're going through or share our
appreciation, so much could be unsaid and

1013
01:25:08.279 --> 01:25:12.000
kind of misconstrued. And you know, we're working really hard to do we

1014
01:25:12.119 --> 01:25:14.760
then see, you know, what
we do, is it valued? Is

1015
01:25:14.760 --> 01:25:17.319
it important? And whilst we ultimately
know it probably is. Sometimes it's really

1016
01:25:17.359 --> 01:25:21.279
good to hear. It's so um, yeah, it's really good to see.

1017
01:25:21.319 --> 01:25:24.399
And I you know, I don't
see its a long time, and

1018
01:25:24.479 --> 01:25:27.840
it's you know, really loving to
see him growing, you know, as

1019
01:25:27.880 --> 01:25:30.800
he's grown as it were, and
it's become a father. You know,

1020
01:25:30.880 --> 01:25:32.960
there's a husband, and it's just
yeah, love you to see. So

1021
01:25:33.760 --> 01:25:35.960
really good to hear. And it's
just you know, really like to hear

1022
01:25:36.159 --> 01:25:41.359
talking about his children, you know. So yeah, yeah, because I

1023
01:25:41.479 --> 01:25:46.359
was thinking like, as a father, sometimes we do things without talking to

1024
01:25:46.479 --> 01:25:50.960
our spouse or even to our children
and explaining why we're doing what we're doing.

1025
01:25:51.600 --> 01:25:55.840
And in our mind we think we're
doing the right thing. But when

1026
01:25:55.920 --> 01:26:00.760
that we're not. We're still not
giving the support or the understand ending for

1027
01:26:00.880 --> 01:26:03.720
the spouse or for the children,
or having them to understand why we're doing

1028
01:26:03.760 --> 01:26:08.880
it. So like you do it
out of love, but you're doing too

1029
01:26:09.000 --> 01:26:12.720
much, and then you really and
then you start putting too much pressure on

1030
01:26:12.760 --> 01:26:16.119
yourself or too much stress in yourself
at it starts to down to them and

1031
01:26:16.239 --> 01:26:19.239
you don't even realize it because you're
like, as a man, you know,

1032
01:26:19.319 --> 01:26:23.239
our job is we feel like our
job is to protect, provide,

1033
01:26:23.800 --> 01:26:30.359
and secure. But sometimes you have
to step back. And even if it's

1034
01:26:30.399 --> 01:26:33.600
just it's spending time with your kids, like particularly spending time for your kids.

1035
01:26:34.199 --> 01:26:38.199
It's not like with my kids.
I'm talking about for myself spending time

1036
01:26:38.239 --> 01:26:41.199
with my kids. I don't have
to spend that much time with them to

1037
01:26:41.359 --> 01:26:44.800
get for them to get the fact
that I love them. I don't have

1038
01:26:44.880 --> 01:26:46.760
to spend three hours with them.
They don't want to spend three hours.

1039
01:26:47.640 --> 01:26:51.079
But if like I learned, like
taking them to school in the morning at

1040
01:26:51.159 --> 01:26:57.199
fifteen minutes sets the tone for the
day with my kids where I can talk

1041
01:26:57.279 --> 01:27:00.960
to them, see how how the
night went, talked to him about that

1042
01:27:00.159 --> 01:27:03.319
day, and we can laugh and
joke. We play a game called yellow

1043
01:27:03.359 --> 01:27:05.680
car. As we're driving down the
street. You see yellow car, you

1044
01:27:05.680 --> 01:27:09.560
say yellow card and then we see
who it has the most points at the

1045
01:27:09.640 --> 01:27:12.039
end of the trip, like you
know, my eight year old, my

1046
01:27:12.159 --> 01:27:14.760
nine year old did that one day
and then we weren't gonna stop. So

1047
01:27:14.920 --> 01:27:16.680
we always, like you know,
the yellow cars that are parked in a

1048
01:27:16.680 --> 01:27:20.079
certain spots all the time. Right
before we get there, were like trying

1049
01:27:20.119 --> 01:27:25.800
somebody's trying to get to say it
first, so we tried, you know,

1050
01:27:26.560 --> 01:27:30.880
But it causes us to have fun
together. And it's just simple things.

1051
01:27:30.960 --> 01:27:34.079
It's not something that is like extraordinary. It's just a simple thing,

1052
01:27:34.960 --> 01:27:38.920
you know. So that's why I
would saying. I like what he was

1053
01:27:38.960 --> 01:27:41.520
saying. And then if I if
I'm having an issue, I'm having a

1054
01:27:41.560 --> 01:27:44.600
hard time, I talked to my
wife and say, look I just need

1055
01:27:44.680 --> 01:27:47.319
a minute. I'm had a rough
day or you know, and then my

1056
01:27:47.399 --> 01:27:53.000
wife picks up the slack and vice
versa. So I think communication is just

1057
01:27:53.199 --> 01:27:57.399
key. As a father is just
communicating, you know. And then when

1058
01:27:57.399 --> 01:28:00.000
I come up even and just talking
to them and just spending a little bit

1059
01:28:00.000 --> 01:28:02.119
of time. Like I said,
people, as as fathers, we think

1060
01:28:02.159 --> 01:28:05.199
we gotta we gotta do so much
our children. Sometimes you just need to

1061
01:28:05.319 --> 01:28:11.199
just give them five minutes to talk, ten minutes to talk, and it

1062
01:28:11.399 --> 01:28:15.640
talk, it could turn into longer. But if it's if it's only five

1063
01:28:15.760 --> 01:28:18.399
or ten minutes, guess what,
it's good. It's children don't need that

1064
01:28:18.520 --> 01:28:21.119
much. They just need to show. I just need to show them that

1065
01:28:21.159 --> 01:28:25.000
I love them, show them,
like genuinely that I love them, and

1066
01:28:25.039 --> 01:28:29.119
then I'm concerned. And once they
get that that talk out their system,

1067
01:28:30.039 --> 01:28:31.720
they they're good. They're like,
hey, coking later that and they they't

1068
01:28:31.760 --> 01:28:35.520
leave me, leave me be,
you know. So it is so easy

1069
01:28:36.439 --> 01:28:43.279
to to get caught up and get
where you don't do what you need,

1070
01:28:43.479 --> 01:28:45.159
you know, where you're just over
when you're not taking care of what you

1071
01:28:45.239 --> 01:28:47.359
need to take of it, not
realizing it because in your mind you like,

1072
01:28:47.880 --> 01:28:51.399
I provide at work, I'm doing
all these things, but you're not

1073
01:28:51.560 --> 01:28:55.960
giving the other, the others,
the other aspect of what you need to

1074
01:28:56.039 --> 01:29:01.279
give for your family. Yeah,
that's so true. And I think what

1075
01:29:01.479 --> 01:29:05.520
I took away from from his conversation
he said it more than once, and

1076
01:29:05.560 --> 01:29:10.199
I'm like, I understood it to
be something that he is working on his

1077
01:29:10.319 --> 01:29:16.239
patients. And that's key to any
parental relationship. Any relationship will stop um,

1078
01:29:19.079 --> 01:29:23.520
because I forgot that part because my
wife will. They always to tell

1079
01:29:23.560 --> 01:29:26.199
me be Like my wife was like, oh, they want to talk to

1080
01:29:26.199 --> 01:29:27.920
you, but they didn't want to. I said, why don't they just

1081
01:29:28.000 --> 01:29:30.159
talk to me first? She's like, because because you're because you're patients.

1082
01:29:30.199 --> 01:29:32.960
Think I'm like, nope, they
know you're gonna be like nope, nope.

1083
01:29:33.239 --> 01:29:35.800
So my wife will kind of give
me your heads up, like you

1084
01:29:35.920 --> 01:29:39.880
know, like before you go in, I'm giving your heads up before you

1085
01:29:39.920 --> 01:29:42.800
gonna talk to them, think about
what you're gonna say, because they already

1086
01:29:42.840 --> 01:29:45.760
like you just gonna be like nope, nope. So like you gotta trust

1087
01:29:45.800 --> 01:29:48.600
them to do certain things. So
it's like, no, you can't just

1088
01:29:48.680 --> 01:29:54.239
say no, listen to what they're
asking and let them explain and then then

1089
01:29:54.359 --> 01:29:58.399
talk, you know, conversate with
them. So you know, I totally

1090
01:29:58.439 --> 01:30:00.119
get what he was saying with that. The thing I like that he always

1091
01:30:00.159 --> 01:30:04.199
talked about us trusting in the Lord, and the Lord lead him and direct

1092
01:30:04.279 --> 01:30:08.079
him and what he needs to do, and he's his and his walk with

1093
01:30:08.199 --> 01:30:12.399
the Lord and just making sure that
God is guiding him in the right way.

1094
01:30:12.680 --> 01:30:15.000
He's letting God guide him. He's
not trying to do it himself.

1095
01:30:15.359 --> 01:30:18.760
That's what I got from him more
than anything, is that he's not letting

1096
01:30:19.520 --> 01:30:23.079
He's not trying to do it himself. He knows he can't do it himself,

1097
01:30:24.319 --> 01:30:27.159
and that he needs God to lead
him and direct him and what he

1098
01:30:27.239 --> 01:30:30.119
needs to do. Yeah, so
I like that part that he talked about.

1099
01:30:30.880 --> 01:30:34.840
It definitely needs to be a leaning
on God and a trusting on God

1100
01:30:34.920 --> 01:30:43.159
and letting him be center of the
relationship because we are we are mere mortals.

1101
01:30:43.359 --> 01:30:45.520
We can't forget that. I mean, we may want to put an

1102
01:30:45.680 --> 01:30:50.119
s on our chest, but but
we are mere mortals. And this process

1103
01:30:50.159 --> 01:31:00.439
of parenting is a difficult journey,
a rewarding journey, but it definitely quis

1104
01:31:00.039 --> 01:31:04.399
having one hand in the hand of
the Master for sure. For sure.

1105
01:31:06.079 --> 01:31:15.880
Uh, we're about fifteen minutes to
seven. I don't understand where the second

1106
01:31:15.960 --> 01:31:19.920
hour goes. The first hour I
got it unlocked. The second hour just

1107
01:31:20.039 --> 01:31:28.640
seems to spiral and then it always
lends itself to a part two. But

1108
01:31:28.720 --> 01:31:30.680
how can we do a part two
to Father's Day? I don't know.

1109
01:31:30.720 --> 01:31:34.680
We're working out because I did have
why not? We there? We go

1110
01:31:35.840 --> 01:31:40.600
the other stuff. I knew Feder
was coming with that. I knew it.

1111
01:31:43.279 --> 01:31:47.760
Why can't we talk about it?
Why indeed, indeed, we may

1112
01:31:47.880 --> 01:31:54.560
have to drum up another Father's Day
a talking point Father's Day, Father's Day

1113
01:31:56.920 --> 01:32:04.840
it is and helpefully mentally healthy,
because that's the whole. Because if if

1114
01:32:04.880 --> 01:32:09.840
you look at Inventor's home, you
know, there's a there's a um um,

1115
01:32:11.760 --> 01:32:15.439
there's an illustration, and then the
home you know, Event's Home thirty

1116
01:32:15.439 --> 01:32:17.560
two. I think it is.
I think it's chapter thirty. I'm not

1117
01:32:17.600 --> 01:32:20.399
exactly, but it is an event
is home and it says, you know,

1118
01:32:20.520 --> 01:32:25.520
christis the top, then the husband
who protects, lead and wife for

1119
01:32:25.600 --> 01:32:28.720
the family. Then the wife,
comfort, teaching, nurtures, and then

1120
01:32:28.760 --> 01:32:35.680
the children loved their Oh I really
lost good. Of course, you know,

1121
01:32:35.880 --> 01:32:39.479
not considering if you're a single parent. I understand that, But I'm

1122
01:32:39.479 --> 01:32:43.640
just talking about in the sense of
you know, that dynamic of you know,

1123
01:32:44.239 --> 01:32:46.279
of the family, of the of
the home. So yeah, and

1124
01:32:46.399 --> 01:32:49.680
I have a second part. We
can we might have to. I mean

1125
01:32:49.760 --> 01:32:58.000
I had I interviewed and bless him, he got home about eleven eleven thirty

1126
01:32:58.159 --> 01:33:01.600
last night. Um I he connected
with me on zoom and we had a

1127
01:33:01.680 --> 01:33:06.279
conversation and it would be a shame
not to hear it. But it's you

1128
01:33:06.359 --> 01:33:11.159
know, a little long. We'll
we'll have to spill over. And I

1129
01:33:11.239 --> 01:33:14.760
think maybe we can hold it for
another time, in fact, if he'll

1130
01:33:14.800 --> 01:33:18.600
forgive me, in fact, maybe
we will get him on to talk in

1131
01:33:18.800 --> 01:33:24.439
full about his experience. He is
a pastor, a husband, and a

1132
01:33:24.960 --> 01:33:30.640
father. I was about to say, there and the father of three adopted

1133
01:33:30.880 --> 01:33:38.439
kids. And they are white children, and you know, the couple are

1134
01:33:38.800 --> 01:33:43.439
Nigerian. And he says when they
walk through this, you know, supermarket,

1135
01:33:43.520 --> 01:33:48.039
and the kids say daddy and he
answers, heads turn because of the

1136
01:33:48.159 --> 01:33:51.560
dynamic. And you know, that
is a story in and of itself.

1137
01:33:53.159 --> 01:33:58.960
But he he spoke about the process
of adopting. He spoke about being,

1138
01:33:59.159 --> 01:34:03.680
you know, the father of three
and the father of a church, and

1139
01:34:04.319 --> 01:34:09.680
um, you know how God's grace
it's all that gets him through. His

1140
01:34:09.800 --> 01:34:14.680
grace and his mercy, it's all
that gets them through the difficult times and

1141
01:34:15.119 --> 01:34:20.520
the challenging times. And he wouldn't
I'm paraphrasing. I always wondered that why

1142
01:34:20.680 --> 01:34:25.840
why do people turn their heads?
Because I mean, it's not it only

1143
01:34:25.920 --> 01:34:29.520
happens to fathers. It happens to
mothers too. Oh well, I think

1144
01:34:29.520 --> 01:34:31.800
it's just because of the dynamic,
because he's you know, they're two black

1145
01:34:31.920 --> 01:34:36.479
parents with three white children and not
the thing. But my wife and I

1146
01:34:36.600 --> 01:34:40.800
were both black. I'm light skating
black. My wife is more darker than

1147
01:34:40.880 --> 01:34:44.640
me. But when my children were
born, they were light skating and shed

1148
01:34:44.720 --> 01:34:47.840
they thought she was the nanny.
O. Right, yeah, that's that's

1149
01:34:47.880 --> 01:34:53.279
a whole other conversation right there.
I mean, why why is that?

1150
01:34:54.079 --> 01:34:57.439
They say, you know, because
it's unusual. I guess it's the first

1151
01:34:57.920 --> 01:35:00.520
people, you know, having children, and like there's not the children you

1152
01:35:00.600 --> 01:35:03.119
stole them, you know, Like
I guess it's just I mean, it's

1153
01:35:04.000 --> 01:35:09.960
it's unusual, which again the story
in itself, because you have unusual family

1154
01:35:10.319 --> 01:35:14.720
dynamics set ups. Actually you know, yeah, baby, yeah, it'd

1155
01:35:14.720 --> 01:35:17.159
be good to Actually there's a as
we say, there's always a part.

1156
01:35:17.279 --> 01:35:21.119
Yes, yes, and I'm sure
he'll be back. In fact, you

1157
01:35:21.199 --> 01:35:24.840
know, he could have been married
to a white lady and and had and

1158
01:35:24.960 --> 01:35:27.840
the kids came out white. I
mean not you understand, I mean,

1159
01:35:27.960 --> 01:35:31.640
it's possible, it is, it
is happened. It's sometimes the children take

1160
01:35:31.720 --> 01:35:35.880
on the you know one one you
know, the dark and can take one

1161
01:35:35.960 --> 01:35:41.079
the complexity of one or the other, so it can happen. Yeah,

1162
01:35:41.439 --> 01:35:45.439
it's not out of the rem of
possibilities, but it's it's I think it's

1163
01:35:45.840 --> 01:35:49.159
it's unusual and that's why people kind
of take a second glance and maybe wonder

1164
01:35:49.399 --> 01:35:55.600
a myriad of things, including whether
you know, he's a career or they're

1165
01:35:55.640 --> 01:35:59.199
stolen, you know, on the
extreme. But the thing is family.

1166
01:35:59.319 --> 01:36:00.880
There's a lot of blood the families
out there, you know, you know,

1167
01:36:01.199 --> 01:36:05.039
you know, So it's so many
different dynamics people. Maybe people need

1168
01:36:05.119 --> 01:36:14.159
to be more open minded educated.
That's it itself. Is an interesting thing

1169
01:36:14.199 --> 01:36:15.720
because you think to yourself, you
think people would be yeah, but I

1170
01:36:15.760 --> 01:36:19.760
guess it did some where you are
with the world, within the country,

1171
01:36:20.359 --> 01:36:25.880
because of parts of our country that
I'm talking about the UK here that is

1172
01:36:25.960 --> 01:36:30.000
not as diverse as we might think
it is. Yeah, he said,

1173
01:36:30.039 --> 01:36:33.439
you'd like to think that people are
educated, but often people are just not

1174
01:36:33.600 --> 01:36:40.000
aware or they again that's another probably
another discussion for another another show. Whether

1175
01:36:40.039 --> 01:36:44.560
they are open to that I,
as Dannia said, open minded awareness,

1176
01:36:44.680 --> 01:36:46.239
or they're in their small little bubble
because that's all they kind of know.

1177
01:36:46.800 --> 01:36:50.560
Yeah, yeah, and you know, to his credit, I mean,

1178
01:36:50.640 --> 01:36:55.039
I'm not sure that I would have
gone down that road. And when we

1179
01:36:55.159 --> 01:36:59.439
do speak in full, which will
now have to happen, um, he

1180
01:36:59.520 --> 01:37:06.960
will plan why he did choose to
adopt Caucasian kids and three to that.

1181
01:37:08.880 --> 01:37:13.680
But it has opened up and you
know what, having a child as a

1182
01:37:13.760 --> 01:37:17.560
ministry, no matter where and when
and how. But this has opened up

1183
01:37:17.560 --> 01:37:26.000
the conversations and he has been able
to sort of minister through this and have

1184
01:37:26.199 --> 01:37:30.960
conversations through this and testify of God's
goodness through this. And that was what

1185
01:37:31.199 --> 01:37:38.319
resonated in the conversation we had at
about midnight last night. And I'm very

1186
01:37:38.439 --> 01:37:42.439
very grateful Pastor Moody. I'm sorry
we didn't get to play it today,

1187
01:37:42.520 --> 01:37:45.840
but it will be played or we
would love to have you on the air,

1188
01:37:45.960 --> 01:37:53.520
yourself and your lovely wife Helen,
to talk about this fantastic journey that

1189
01:37:53.800 --> 01:37:59.920
you have been on as a couple
as parents. So yeah, we'll tap

1190
01:38:00.119 --> 01:38:03.640
two next week. Yeah, well, we'll see. I think Angie has

1191
01:38:03.680 --> 01:38:10.479
some people lined up, so I'm
not sure you can do one of the

1192
01:38:10.520 --> 01:38:13.399
men's theme and I guess we can. We can probably do that maybe in

1193
01:38:13.399 --> 01:38:17.000
a couple of weeks. Yea,
yeah, you know, so I'll check

1194
01:38:17.079 --> 01:38:21.520
us availability about week but weekend we
will we will need to do a part

1195
01:38:21.600 --> 01:38:31.199
two talk about decisions, an executive
decision. Though this is going out to

1196
01:38:31.279 --> 01:38:33.680
our listeners, we want to hear
from you as well. If you have

1197
01:38:33.760 --> 01:38:39.520
a story we'd love to have a
conversation with about your experiences, or if

1198
01:38:39.520 --> 01:38:42.840
there's a topic that you'd like to
hear us discuss and you like a part

1199
01:38:42.880 --> 01:38:45.399
of the discussion, please do let
us know. We want to get more

1200
01:38:45.439 --> 01:38:50.119
of you on more people involved.
We want to hear what's happening around our

1201
01:38:50.159 --> 01:38:55.520
conference, around the world. People
have stories to tell and often what we

1202
01:38:55.680 --> 01:39:00.039
want to do is have those conversations
that we don't necessarily always talk about so

1203
01:39:00.159 --> 01:39:03.800
many subjects that might be seen as
quite taboo or just it's about stories and

1204
01:39:03.920 --> 01:39:09.640
experiences that we want you to share
and that we can learn and inform and

1205
01:39:09.920 --> 01:39:15.520
educate. So that's the word contact
with us. I can't remember the top

1206
01:39:15.560 --> 01:39:23.279
of my head, but send your
please studio at Adventist to London, So

1207
01:39:23.479 --> 01:39:28.880
Adventist Radio dot London see studio at
Adventist Radio dot London or of course you

1208
01:39:28.960 --> 01:39:32.960
can text eight triple to eight hope
space and then your message and just let

1209
01:39:33.119 --> 01:39:36.520
us know that you would like to
be involved. You would like to be

1210
01:39:36.800 --> 01:39:41.680
perhaps on the panel. Perhaps you're
an expert and a topic and you want

1211
01:39:41.720 --> 01:39:45.079
to share something that's passionate. Um, you know something you're passionate about and

1212
01:39:45.199 --> 01:39:51.239
you want to advocate or educate.
Um. Yeah, we're up to hearing

1213
01:39:51.399 --> 01:39:57.640
from you and giving you the platform
to to share with our listeners what's on

1214
01:39:57.800 --> 01:40:01.880
your heart. So thanks for that
and for that reminder. Um, yeah

1215
01:40:02.000 --> 01:40:06.439
we have we do these shows that
we always feel like we always run out

1216
01:40:06.520 --> 01:40:12.720
of time and there's always more that
we start talking. So much more could

1217
01:40:12.720 --> 01:40:15.239
be said, so definitely, but
we want to hear your voices as well.

1218
01:40:15.279 --> 01:40:17.640
It's not just about us talking about
it. We want to hear you

1219
01:40:18.159 --> 01:40:23.159
talking to us and talking to as
well. Just contrary to believe, we

1220
01:40:23.239 --> 01:40:29.079
do like the hear other stories and
other voices, not just sound people.

1221
01:40:29.119 --> 01:40:31.239
I think they think we just like
the heart. I don't think any of

1222
01:40:31.359 --> 01:40:34.960
us like to really talking, just
funny pride. I like to talk,

1223
01:40:36.239 --> 01:40:45.399
that's true, igund and listen.
I like to facilitate conversation. Let's put

1224
01:40:45.439 --> 01:40:51.319
it that way. There are so
many amazing things and so many amazing stories,

1225
01:40:51.319 --> 01:40:56.439
amazing people out that we want to, you know, talk about those

1226
01:40:56.520 --> 01:41:00.000
things, and often they're subjects or
topics that you often don't have the conversation.

1227
01:41:00.479 --> 01:41:05.239
So that's what right before we closed, because we did we did touch

1228
01:41:05.319 --> 01:41:09.720
on that, say, we was
going to talk about the Biblical Yes,

1229
01:41:09.960 --> 01:41:14.600
let's let's and I think that's a
good point or good just touch on a

1230
01:41:14.680 --> 01:41:19.560
couple of the other fathers that in
the Bible that were m that was important

1231
01:41:19.600 --> 01:41:25.479
to the history of a mankind of
course. The number one would be Adam.

1232
01:41:27.039 --> 01:41:30.479
Yes, did he did he make
any mistakes? Now I thought he

1233
01:41:30.560 --> 01:41:33.520
made plenty of mistakes. Yes,
but he loved the Lord and he you

1234
01:41:33.600 --> 01:41:39.119
know, he set the foundation for
what, you know, what we could

1235
01:41:39.239 --> 01:41:42.680
do and what we shouldn't do.
Um. We have other people. Um,

1236
01:41:42.840 --> 01:41:45.319
one person that I didn't realize.
I realized it, but I was

1237
01:41:45.399 --> 01:41:49.960
forget and we forget Joe. Yes, yes, like you know because NoMBe

1238
01:41:49.960 --> 01:41:55.399
he lost all his children, lost
everything, and he never once you know,

1239
01:41:56.079 --> 01:41:59.359
curse God. He kept praying,
He kept you know, saying okay,

1240
01:41:59.479 --> 01:42:02.600
this is what's happening. He just
he just dolphed and he ended up

1241
01:42:02.640 --> 01:42:06.520
being rewarded in the end, you
know. Um, So we always talk

1242
01:42:06.520 --> 01:42:11.319
about Job. Yeah, the whole
of faith, isn't it. That's the

1243
01:42:11.439 --> 01:42:14.479
term that say, the whole of
faith? And so many of our our

1244
01:42:14.560 --> 01:42:17.279
fathers are well and truly in there, and Job is one, I mean,

1245
01:42:18.000 --> 01:42:25.119
his his y. I don't know
how many of us would do that,

1246
01:42:25.319 --> 01:42:30.720
but he he held on to garden, and God was faithful to him.

1247
01:42:31.680 --> 01:42:41.680
Alemation about sort of father figure kinds
of adopted Esther as his own daughter.

1248
01:42:42.039 --> 01:42:45.840
Yes, um, to the guided
her wing, and you know he

1249
01:42:46.039 --> 01:42:50.000
set his own examples of faith,
his love and care, you know.

1250
01:42:50.359 --> 01:42:54.680
Added you know, he became that
father to Esther, and of course Esther

1251
01:42:54.760 --> 01:42:58.560
went on to do amazing things as
well, so Lea took her under his

1252
01:42:58.640 --> 01:43:01.079
wing. So again we've opened it
out. We may not have ste biological

1253
01:43:01.199 --> 01:43:08.920
per se there. And we can't
end without talking about the prodical the father

1254
01:43:09.079 --> 01:43:14.319
of the prodical son. I mean, that's probably the text that went across

1255
01:43:14.399 --> 01:43:19.359
the pulpits their saft or today for
Sabbath worship. But because it's such a

1256
01:43:19.439 --> 01:43:28.840
popular story, but it tells of
Jesus's love really and how he's waiting with

1257
01:43:29.039 --> 01:43:32.479
open arms for us to return to
him. And my interest in that story

1258
01:43:32.600 --> 01:43:39.039
goes beyond the child that left.
But the story also speaks of a child

1259
01:43:39.119 --> 01:43:44.359
that stayed, and not a lot
of pastors or not a lot of sermons

1260
01:43:44.520 --> 01:43:48.199
dissect that or speak of that.
Um, the child that left and somehow

1261
01:43:48.319 --> 01:43:51.920
felt neglected. And it doesn't that
speak about the dynamics of the family,

1262
01:43:53.039 --> 01:43:58.560
dynamics that can can evolve Um,
because there was no party for him.

1263
01:43:59.359 --> 01:44:02.680
Um. He stayed with his dad
and he was faithful, But the party

1264
01:44:02.800 --> 01:44:09.720
was only when the particle Returneth bought. Heaven rejoices Um, when well,

1265
01:44:10.359 --> 01:44:14.960
God rejoices, Heaven rejoices when we
returned to the fold. And that was

1266
01:44:15.079 --> 01:44:18.760
the story of the particle Bath.
There's also another father that we never talked

1267
01:44:18.760 --> 01:44:23.079
about, and there's a story of
the I think his name is Jarius,

1268
01:44:23.439 --> 01:44:29.199
I maybe even mistaken the young the
father who went and found Jesus when his

1269
01:44:29.319 --> 01:44:33.840
daughter was dying and had the faith
that Jesus could bring her. And when

1270
01:44:33.880 --> 01:44:38.159
it found Jesus and brought him back
to his house and she had already passed,

1271
01:44:38.319 --> 01:44:42.319
and God and then Jesus rose her
back from the dead, the faith

1272
01:44:42.439 --> 01:44:45.239
that he knew of knowing that if
he could just get to Jesus, and

1273
01:44:45.319 --> 01:44:47.520
I ask you he had no idea
if Jesus was going to do it,

1274
01:44:47.520 --> 01:44:50.960
but he said, I'm gonna go
and ask Jesus anyway. And the faith

1275
01:44:51.000 --> 01:44:54.279
that he had, the belief that
he had that Jesus could do it.

1276
01:44:55.199 --> 01:44:59.199
You know, Um, we forget
about that story, but that's what that's

1277
01:44:59.239 --> 01:45:01.199
another story. I just that just
papped in my head when it comes to

1278
01:45:01.399 --> 01:45:04.960
fatherhood and just you know, trying
to take care of your family and just

1279
01:45:05.079 --> 01:45:10.479
having a faith, you know,
the unwavering faith that Jesus can fix anything

1280
01:45:11.920 --> 01:45:15.560
animately. And we can't even end
this by saying I was the best father,

1281
01:45:17.399 --> 01:45:21.720
God, heavenly father, definitely,
And that's that's Yes, It's all

1282
01:45:21.800 --> 01:45:27.079
senses and pins on you know.
Um. You know Jesus told of you

1283
01:45:27.199 --> 01:45:30.520
know, when he was here,
told of his father's love, the perfect

1284
01:45:30.560 --> 01:45:33.359
love for his children, his love
for us. You know, he's everything,

1285
01:45:33.680 --> 01:45:39.560
great listener, such anger he makes, he keeps make some kids promises,

1286
01:45:39.600 --> 01:45:43.319
who was the provider protect her?
And he's a guide to out all

1287
01:45:43.359 --> 01:45:46.560
our lives. So he is the
ultimate father that we're saying, you know,

1288
01:45:46.720 --> 01:45:53.079
thank you too, and equally saying
thank you to our fathers and our

1289
01:45:53.319 --> 01:45:57.800
father figures out there. We're not
just wanting to celebrate you just for one

1290
01:45:57.880 --> 01:46:00.039
day, but the world possibly does. But through all the time, you

1291
01:46:00.119 --> 01:46:03.239
know, throughout the whole of the
year, says, ton't just be a

1292
01:46:03.319 --> 01:46:08.720
one day thing. It'sn't everything.
That's everything thing. Because you made a

1293
01:46:08.760 --> 01:46:11.399
good point. We always talk about
the Bible is you know, God's word.

1294
01:46:11.920 --> 01:46:14.920
But I always tell my children the
Bible was a bunch of stories that

1295
01:46:15.039 --> 01:46:18.000
would guide us and directors, and
Jesus God gave us the Bible for that

1296
01:46:18.119 --> 01:46:24.560
reason to guide is and the stories
are meant to teach us and even men

1297
01:46:25.399 --> 01:46:29.439
on how to be a man,
and how to do right by your family,

1298
01:46:29.520 --> 01:46:31.039
and how to do right by yourself, and how to trust on him.

1299
01:46:31.760 --> 01:46:34.880
So you know, I always look
at the Bible. Is that the

1300
01:46:34.960 --> 01:46:38.000
best story book of all time?
I guess that's why it's one of the

1301
01:46:38.079 --> 01:46:43.920
most um, it's number one book
sello ever. Amen, you know,

1302
01:46:44.119 --> 01:46:48.239
so yeah, as you said,
God is definitely the number one father to

1303
01:46:48.520 --> 01:46:54.600
to to try to, you know, be like, yeah, I think

1304
01:46:54.760 --> 01:46:59.920
for me my what I would want
to leave our fathers with and our parents

1305
01:47:00.199 --> 01:47:04.960
really is that you know, we're
not perfect. We got that from from

1306
01:47:05.079 --> 01:47:10.600
the interview that we listened to.
We've spoken about it throughout the program.

1307
01:47:11.039 --> 01:47:15.159
You know, we're not profect.
We're not perfect. But God is perfect,

1308
01:47:15.039 --> 01:47:18.960
you know. And and he will
guide us, He will direct us,

1309
01:47:19.119 --> 01:47:26.640
he will get us through, and
he will lead us. Ultimately,

1310
01:47:26.720 --> 01:47:31.760
children are a gift from him,
and once he gives, he equips and

1311
01:47:32.000 --> 01:47:36.479
he will equip us for for and
he will equip you as farther as for

1312
01:47:36.680 --> 01:47:45.960
the for the task. As we
come to the end, Pedro, do

1313
01:47:45.079 --> 01:47:50.119
you want as a father in our
in our crew right here, can you

1314
01:47:50.239 --> 01:47:54.760
pray for us and pray for our
fathers and pray as we share them and

1315
01:47:55.479 --> 01:47:59.920
yeah, we'll play out to it, so I think hopefully, Yeah,

1316
01:48:00.279 --> 01:48:04.279
okay, okay, my Mike actually
cut off from it. I apologize,

1317
01:48:05.279 --> 01:48:09.239
So yeah, definitely I could do
that. How many father we want to

1318
01:48:09.239 --> 01:48:15.119
thank you for bringing us to another
silas evening of talking point. We'll thank

1319
01:48:15.159 --> 01:48:18.119
everybody for joining us today. We
asked Lord that hopefully our thoughts and our

1320
01:48:18.680 --> 01:48:26.159
discussion has opened up the means for
fathers everywhere to know that they're not alone,

1321
01:48:26.680 --> 01:48:31.960
to know that they are, that
they are recognized, and that they

1322
01:48:32.000 --> 01:48:39.720
are appreciated throughout the world, and
that as fathers and parents in general,

1323
01:48:40.279 --> 01:48:45.319
that we can do great things by
just believing in you and trusting in you

1324
01:48:45.399 --> 01:48:47.840
and letting you lead us and everything
that we do. We ask the Jill

1325
01:48:47.880 --> 01:48:50.039
Bill for us to our th rest
of this weekend, and as we're going

1326
01:48:50.119 --> 01:48:54.000
to the new week, get to
you to bless us and watch over us

1327
01:48:54.039 --> 01:48:57.760
and protect us from all day just
seeing unseen. And we want to just

1328
01:48:57.840 --> 01:49:00.119
say thank you, Lord again for
everything you have done for us, for

1329
01:49:00.199 --> 01:49:03.960
this apprent your holy name. Amen, Amen, Amen. Right, we'll

1330
01:49:04.039 --> 01:49:13.399
say good night, good evening.
Let's from me Zania, from Angela from

1331
01:49:13.439 --> 01:49:17.079
Pedro Pedrol. Thanks for leading.
Actually, we we we got through it.

1332
01:49:23.039 --> 01:49:26.159
We all let we all let you
know. I was the typical you

1333
01:49:26.239 --> 01:49:30.079
know man, I let you know
I stepped back sometimes. Well, Happy

1334
01:49:30.119 --> 01:49:33.079
Father's Day when it comes. Happy
Father's Day to all our listeners. And

1335
01:49:33.800 --> 01:49:39.560
yeah, we will be back next
week. God bless you, and good night,